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jonkentt · 3 years

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This is a video, Bucky. You’re recording.”

What? I opened the camera.”

Yeah and it’s a video.”

Oh whatever! C’mere we’re getting a picture.”

Back to my original point—”

Shut up and smile, Sam”

The sunlight is a warm yellow glow on their smiling faces. Bucky’s arm is draped over Sam’s shoulders and he leans in to plant a kiss on his cheek.

Sam can almost feel the warm press of Bucky’s lips as he replays the memory on his phone. The glow of the screen dully illuminating the dark hotel room.

Sam’s smile slips and his eyes widen with surprise. Bucky’s laughter rings out till it’s abruptly cut off when Sam grabs his face and kisses him. The image blurs, followed by a loud crack and muffled curse.

Sam smiles but his chest aches a little. His finger hovers over the screen to press play on the video again. Then the phone starts buzzing in his hand and a familiar face appears.

“You asshole, are you a mind reader now? I miss you.”

“Aw, Sam, babe you’re pinning already? Even after I called you this morning?”

“I’m not pinning!”

“I miss you, too. Why the fuck did you have to go away on your birthday? The boys and I ate a cake but they looked sad about it.”

“You ate a cake without me? Wow just rub it in that I couldn’t get out of this hooty tooty conference.”

“I guess world peace is sorta important. Don’t feel too bad though, they weren’t actually sad about it. They ate the whole cake and I promised them another when you got back.”

Sam tries to protest through his laughter. “Hey now, don’t get any ideas about points towards favorite uncle. That’s my title.”

“I’ve been favorite uncle, Sam, and you know it.”

“Why you gotta hurt me like this? I’ll have you know that Cass wrote ‘best uncle ever’ in his text to me this morning.”

“Traitor.”

Sam snickers. Their familiar chatter drains all the pent up tension of the day. Sam can feel the tightness of his shoulders ease, but that little ache in his heart is still too sharp. “Ah dammit, I still miss you.”

“Stop moping, Sam. Go enjoy your birthday!”

“Man, it’s not like there’s anything to do around here! Unless I wanna go to a shitty dive bar and order something in a language I don’t speak. End up having to choke down god knows what.”

“I’ve seen you drink a snake. I’m surprised anything still intimidates you.”

Sam makes a gagging sound. “Don’t remind me.”

“Well I know for a fact that there’s something you’ll love close by. C’mon get up, I’ll give you directions.”

“What?”

“C’mon Sam!”

Which is how Sam ended up walking through an unfamiliar city in the middle of the night, convinced Bucky was steering him in circles.

“You’re almost there.”

“You said that four blocks ago!”

“Relax, Sam. This way you get to stretch your legs and enjoy the sound of my voice at the same time.”

“Bucky—”

“On your left.”

“That’s my line!”

“What? Turn left, Sam.”

Sam rounded the corner of a yet another looming building and the space opened into a massive garden contained by an elaborate iron fence. A cobbled path stretched down it’s center through a tunnel of arches covered in roses. Lights were threaded through the branches, illuminating everything in hazy yellows. A slight breeze filled Sam’s nose with sweetness.

“Woah.”

“I woulda picked flowers for ya but given our situation, I had to bring you to the flowers.”

“This place is beautiful, Buck.” Sam’s voice is soft with awe as he walks down the path, admiring the curving vines of roses all around him. The flowers have bloomed in every color of the rainbow. “How’d you find it?” Sam reaches out to rub delicate blue petals between his finger and thumb.

“A brilliant invention I’ve been informed is called the internet.”

Sam snorts. “Course you would scrounge up the most absurdly romantic spot in the city from halfway across the world.”

“For you, Sam? Nothing less.”

Sam makes his way towards the center of the gardens. The path opens suddenly to a wide circle with a bubbling fountain at its center. Sam looks into its basin and the glint of copper coins wink back at him. He cranes his head to admire the night sky. The twinkle of stars just visible beyond the urban light.

“Oh,” he whispers. “Wow. You’d love this place.” The other end of the line stays quiet. “Bucky?” Sam glances at his phone to see the call has ended. He frowns, wondering if he lost signal.

“I can promise, Sam, that the whole scene is much prettier with you in it.”

Sam’s head snaps up at that familiar sound. Bucky steps out from behind a wall of roses. His eyes are crinkled in a bright smile.

“Hey, Angel.”

Sam breaks into a stupidly huge grin then launches himself into Bucky’s arms. His partner laughs and hugs him close.

“You’ve been gone, what, not even a week? Already miss me that much?”

Sam smirks and shrugs.

“I’d consider being embarrassed about it except that you literally researched where to find a fucking rose garden and then traversed an ocean just to tell me how pretty I am.”

Bucky strokes Sam’s cheek with his thumb and looks at him with near unbearable fondness.

“Can’t let you go forgetting it.”

Bucky leans in till their noses touch. Sam closes his eyes and breaths him in, relaxing into Bucky’s embrace.

“Can’t let you doubt for a second how loved you are.”

Bucky presses their foreheads together.

“You’re incredible, Sam. God, just—” Bucky huffs a laugh that sounds a little overwhelmed. “You’re always blowing my mind. When your eyes open in the morning, all warm and soft and already smiling. When you laugh so easily and it’s the best sound in the world. When you look at your nephews so proud like your heart’s gonna burst.” Bucky barely hears the fountain behind them or notices the sweetness in the air. All he can think of is Sam.

“You always stop and talk to the kids who recognize you, doesn’t make a difference if you’re exhausted, you always care about putting smiles on their little faces.” Bucky swallows against the emotion welling in his throat. “You always look out for your team. Even when shit hits the fan and we’re all scared, donno what’s coming. You hold it together and keep us safe, me ‘n Torres ‘n everyone.” He pauses to listen to Sam’s breathing and feel the warmth of it on his lips. “And when you’re sad, Sam, god you hate showing it. But still you let people in. Just crack your heart right open. You’re more honest than any of us deserve. But the way you see the world, the way you put hope in people, it’s such a fucking amazing gift you don’t even realize you’re giving.”

Sam moves just slightly and for once Bucky doesn’t want to be stopped with a kiss. He needs Sam to hear this, needs Sam to believe it. Bucky leans back and locks his gaze with Sam’s. Desperately, he tries to find the words.

“I try— I try to show you. How much you matter. How everything you do matters. I try to show you but I can’t keep up. I’ll never be able to keep up with you, Sam.” Bucky smiles even as he struggles to keep his voice steady.

“I try to tell you how much I love you but words fall short every time. I try to tell you how important you are and sometimes you still look surprised and that breaks my heart cause you gotta know, Sam. You gotta know.” Light catches the teardrops on Sam’s eyelashes and Bucky finally notices the emotion in his eyes. It knocks the air from his chest.

“You are so loved. And ‘course it’s not just me. So many folks look up to you! I always recognize the look in their eyes cause I know it.” Bucky cups Sam’s face and pauses just to admire him. “I know what it feels like to have a whole heart-full of Sam Wilson.”

They look at each other in silence for a breathless moment. Bucky looking at Sam like he hung every star in the sky, and Sam trying not to drown in that gaze. Then Sam smiles and wipes his eyes with the heel of his palm. Bucky melts at the sight of that tooth gap.

“Jesus, Bucky.” Sam sniffs. “You rehearse that?”

“Every day.”

Sam laughs a little and leans in to nuzzle Bucky’s cheek. “Well, I love it,” he whispers. “Means a lot, Bucky. And I love you.”

Bucky grins ear-to-ear. The press of Sam’s nose on his cheek makes his stupid stomach flip.

“Birthday kiss?”

Sam answers by pressing their lips together.

#there is no plot there is just bucky in love with sam #back on my gay shit #sambucky fic #onlysambucky

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innuendostyles · 3 years

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Your from the UK right??? Not to make u sad but imagine going to Asda with Ben at 2 in the morning (u only went for some milk) and u end up coming out with almost the entire shop in ur trolley 😂😂 Happens to the best of us

YAY

“We’re only going for milk.” He quietly mumbled as he aimed the keys at the car and pressed the lock button, hearing the sound of the mechanisms working to ensure the car wouldn’t get stolen from the car park. He held his hand out for you to take before he crossed the zebra crossings, giving a silent nod to a car that’d stopped so the two of you could pass.

It was a gentle reminder but also a jest at himself, considering the last time he’d gone to Asda this late, he’d returned home with a new DVD player for your living room, an abundance of on-sale Easter chocolate, and a DIY friendship bracelets set (it was located in the 6 years and over section, but he wouldn’t tell anyone that part.)

The bracelets aforementioned had been tied to your wrists for a month and a half now, yours was a braided black, white and yellow band while his was black, white and red. He somehow matched his outfit, black jogging bottoms, a red Nike hoodie and the best part of all…. socks with sliders. You’d claim that if he wore those out of the house, you’d pretend not to know him, but later decided that it was more endearing than embarrassing. His socks were black with red love hearts printed all over them, some you’d got him for Valentine’s Day as he claimed that “a pair of socks is the best present you could ever buy a man.”

You, on the other hand, wore a pair of black leggings, paired with an extremely worn “Rolling Stones 1979 Tour” acid wash t-shirt. Ben had insisted that you wear one of his jackets, given the fact that your local Asda always seemed to be freezing around this time, so it was topped off with a navy blue Nike Air Max windbreaker. Your fluffy bed socks really pulled the outfit together.

You each had one of Ben’s AirPods in your ear, currently listening to a song by The Lumineers, one that Ben described to you as making him feel as if he was “running down a sandy beach trying to get to you.” His pinky finger slid around your pinky finger as he strayed to the shelter where all the trolleys (shopping carts) were located.

He always pushed the trolley, claiming his driving skills were better than yours, but you knew the only reason he enjoyed pushing them so much was so he could “fly down the aisles”, an act in which he would push the cart extremely fast when there was nobody near you, and lift his feet from the ground, letting the cart take all his weight.

The song ended and changed to a Snoop Dogg song, to which you quirked an eyebrow, asking, “What fucking playlist is this?” with a laugh.

You walked through the sliding doors, Ben already getting distracted by some plants that were on clearance at the front doors, silently placing 2 small plant pots with some sort of pink flower in the middle into the cart.

There was a display as soon as you entered the shop floor, a large green cardboard cut out of the grinch, next to it sitting a handful of Christmas DVD’s, letting all the customers know that they could “Buy 1 Christmas DVD and receive a free 9” pizza”. Ben’s eyes immediately lit up, turning his head towards yours as he exclaimed that Christmas films and food are two of his favourite things ever. You shook your head in disbelief as you picked through the DVD’s, most of them being new and animated films you’d never heard of.

You were looking for one in particular, though you had little faith that it would be in the same pile as these cartoon ones. Ben loved The Nativity, one of the funniest Christmas films in the world, he reckons. He thought Martin Freeman was one of the best actors ever, and that along with Marc Wootton, it had to be the best film ever.

You rifled through the array of cases, finally picking out a white cover that read, “The Nativity!” You placed it in the cart, seeing Ben’s eyes light up as he bounced up and down in excitement, like a child.

“Can we get pepperoni on the pizza? Please!” He whined, earning a “yes” from you, to which he skipped down the aisle and giggled like a schoolboy.

You reached the fridges, Ben picking up 2 pints of milk and putting them in the trolley before giving an accomplished nod.

“Can we ‘ave a look at some vinyls?” He asked, with a pleading pout that he knew always won you over.

“Ooh, yeah actually, Gwil said he wanted the Hamilton vinyl a couple of weeks ago. Might be a good present, yeah?” You suggested, knowing it would result in Ben realising he hadn’t yet bought Christmas presents for any of his friends yet, something you’d been trying to gently remind him of for the last couple of weeks.

You made your way to the music section, getting distracted by anything and everything you could find. Ben was clinging onto a t-shirt with a green dinosaur on it, lit up by Christmas lights with a star on top of its head, the phrase “Tree-Rex” printed underneath it.

He held up the knitted fabric to you, and you both whispered, “Joe.” at the exact same time. It was folded and placed into the cart.

A pack of 250 small Christmas cards was the next thing to grab your attention, Ben telling you that the two of you “had to send the neighbours a card this year, considering the amount of times they’ve had to endure foolish giggles and the creaky bed really late at night!” You’d simply nodded with a chuckle, though he didn’t put them in straight away. He noticed the box had been busted open at the top and went on a hunt for an unopened box. He reached his arm all the way back into the shelf, jokingly asking you to hold his hand so he didn’t get lost. He finally grabbed a pack, throwing them into the trolley from about a meter away and doing a celebratory dance when they went in.

One of the lights overhead flickered, which caused Ben to turn to you with an over-exaggerated gasp, claiming “Asda is haunted!!!!” and running away from you frantically. You guffawed at his antics, lightly jogging after him while trying to catch your breath from laughing.

After collecting your pizza on the way to the music section, Ben made a quick turn down the homeware section. He browsed the cushion cases, holding up a few colours and patterns that he thought may match your living room sofa, all of which received a horrified glare from you (this was the exact reason you didn’t let him take the lead when you decided to start decorating your flat together… his first suggestion was warm brown walls with a stripy turquoise and black sofa…)

He reached the mirror section, finding an extremely large plain mirror, with no frame, slowly running his finger over the edge of it.

“Might buy us this for Christmas.” He stated.

Your brows raised in confusion, tilting your head to tell him you were unsure why he’d said it.

“One of them naughty mirrors…… when you put it on the ceiling so I’d be able to see everything when you’re ridi-“ your hand quickly shot over his mouth, your eyes widening as you took in what he meant. You could feel his lips sporting a smirk beneath your palm. You shook your head and giggled along with him.

“C'mon babe… know you’d love seeing this juicy cheeks every time I’m on top of you…” you lightly smacked his chest and delivered a sharp, yet humorous, “enough!”.

Once you’d finally made it to the music section, Ben appeared to be in his element. He’d picked up the Hamilton vinyl for Gwilym, as well as a new Ariana Grande record for Lucy. He was eyeing up Taylor Swift’s newest release, hoping you wouldn’t notice when he slipped it into the cart. He groaned when you looked him directly in the eyes and shook your head with a knowing smile on your face.

“I was gonna give you that for Christmas! Now you’ve ruined the surprise!” He whined with a pout.

“You are all I want for Christmas.” You replied, already cringing wondering if anyone else had heard you.

He, too, shook his head, but still gave you a quick kiss on the cheek to show his appreciation for you.

The next aisle was the clearance aisle. This was a dangerous one for Ben. His Mum had always taught him “never to pass up a bargain, cause you’ll see it one day, regret not buying it, go back the next day and it’ll be gone!”.

Within 5 minutes of browsing the shelves, he’d picked up a large Christmas-themed Yankee Candle gift set for his brother, a turkey-shaped dog toy for Frankie (this one you’d suggested) as well as a pack of 3 photo frames and a new flower vase for his mum.

Walking to the checkout was always a dangerous game, as the bakery part of the shop was located right next to all the tills. He’d always claim to be “just looking” while you unloaded the trolley onto the moving belt so the cashier could scan your items, and most times he only came back with a box of flapjacks or at the most, 2 jam donuts and a reduced fat chocolate eclair cake.

What you weren’t expecting today, however, was for your boyfriend to return with a basket he’d picked up from somewhere, filled with pastries and cakes that made your mouth water.

“These’ll be alright til Christmas Eve won’t they? Can watch Nativity with our little pizza ‘n then fill ourselves wi’ these after? Yeah?” You didn’t really get a chance to reply before the food was placed down onto the belt. You’d never seen him so happy with himself, thinking he’d just come up with the best idea in the entire world, even though you’d done basically the same thing for the last 2 years of spending Christmas together.

The cashier gave you your total, a whopping £110, even though you’d originally come in for 2 pints of milk, which should’ve brought your total to around…. £3.

He shook his head with a small smile as he took his card out of his wallet, swiping it over the reader and thanking the lady when she gave him his receipt. He rolled the trolley out onto the car park, you following closely behind telling him to unlock the car so you’d be able to hear the beep it made and find it, considering how dark it was outside. After locating the vehicle, he gently placed all the items in the backseat, taking extra care to make sure the pizza was cushioned by Joe’s new shirt and Frankie’s new toy. He dropped the trolley back off at the shelter before getting into the car, strapping his seatbelt and turning the radio on.

Paul McCartney’s “Wonderful Christmastime” filled the speakers, causing Ben to let out a quiet, “What a fuckin’ banger!”.

You couldn’t resist the urge to lean over and give him a peck on the cheek and a ruffle of his hair. You simply were having a wonderful Christmas time.

#WILL ADD A KEEP READING LATER I PROMISE !!!!#ben hardy x reader #ben hardy fluff #my work #LUV A GOOD ASDA TRIP

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fangirlingincamouflage · 4 years

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Blind Hope Chapter Six

Title: Blind Hope Author: Rosie Dayze Word Count: ??? (I can’t remember) Pairing: Nick Jakoby x Reader Chapter Rating: PG-13 Themes: Angst, Plot, affectionate frustration Disclaimer: I do not own Nick Jakoby, he is the intellectual property of Netflix Originals. I make no money from this fanfiction. TW/CW: Descriptions of pain, long term hospital stay Previous Chapters:

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

You Are Here

Chapter 7

Looking back, it was easy to ignore his messages for the first two weeks. You had work to get lost in and pain meds to dull everything. Between your cracked ribs, the stitches in your head, and fielding calls from people who meant well but took up too much energy to talk to, it was pretty easy to act like you had every intention of responding to Nick, without ever actually getting around to doing it.

"I'm awake," his first message said. "They said you already were released. What happened? Are you okay?"

It hurt. It hurt to read. It hurt even more not to respond. But you did it. You told yourself it was for the best. Being with you is what got him hurt in the first place. Sure, you could blame bigotry, and you'd be right, but that doesn't erase what happened, and that you were at the core.

"I know what happened was scary. Please, just talk to me." Another message says. "I just want to know you are safe."

You don't respond to that one either. You know what you'll say. You will tell him that you are perfectly okay. That it's fine. Just a scratch. Sure, your head got busted open and you are on some impressive pain killers. And yeah, you have to change the bandage twice a day because stitches are no joke, especially those on the head. And sure a chunk of hair is missing from where they shaved it to put said stitches in place. But does any of that really compare to what he went through?

"I'm okay if that's what you're worried about. It looked worse than it was."

You know exactly how bad it was. It wasn't like you just gathered your stuff and left after Nick's mother stopped in and delivered her bomb of truth. In fact, once the shock of her words had worn off you'd gotten yourself pretty riled up with a lot of thoughts that centered on how-dare-she. You'd gathered up[ all of your things, and stormed up to the Intensive Care Unit, you'd argued with a nurse, you'd begged and pleaded until they let you in to see him. And, if you are being honest, compared to Nick all you had was a scratch. Tubes were shoved up his nose, forcing him to keep breathing while needles fed him medication and hydration. The natural blue splotches on his skin did their best to hide the bruising, but it was too easy to see that the damage had been done. Gone was the coppery vest, all he wore was an ugly hospital gown and medical tape. One eye was swollen shut, one hand looked like it had seen the wrong side of a hammer. Or, more likely, a boot. He'd whimpered when you'd touched him, in pain despite being pumped full of who knew what.

That's when you had decided that Elizabeth Jakoby had been right. Being with Nick would have been selfish. Yes, he made you happy. Yes, his kisses made you light up. But was any of that worth the pain it put him through? No. Of course not. You needed to leave. And you needed to cut the relationship off. He'd get over you. He'd find a nice orc woman to settle down with. He'd be happy with his garden and his badge. He didn't need you. And he certainly didn't need another trip to the hospital.

So you called June and let her mother you into bed, and promised yourself that no matter what messages Nick Jakoby sent, you'd just ignore them. Sure, you knew it was bad form to ghost him. But you also knew that if you tried to actually break it off, it would kill something inside of you. Some tiny glimmer of hope that there were still good people in the world.

Those first two weeks were easy. They came before the new flower delivery, and the card that only had "I'm sorry," written in his hasty, blocky script. And then came the uber eats driver delivering from the Indian place you'd had your very first date. And then came the movie tickets and a little notecard saying "I'll be here, at seven this Friday. I hope you will be too."

You made yourself sick throwing the ticket in the garbage. You'd even poured week-old leftovers on top of it to keep yourself from digging it out. That night you invited June and her wife over and the three of you watched cheesy movies until dawn, if only to keep you from dwelling on where you rather would have been.

You got your stitches out. You were given a clean bill of health. Your hair grew back. Two weeks turned into two months, and then into half a year.

You went on dates. Some weren't too bad. Somewhere horrible. But no matter how nice the date was, or where you went, all you could think about was sharing a loaded waffle with a guy who saw the greatness in the universe. All you could do was reach up and feel that scar on your forehead and wonder 'what if?'.

"This is ridiculous." June flopped herself down on the couch. She was wearing her favorite orange and yellow pajama set. She had a plate of chocolate cake in one hand, and a fork in the other. She was eating her feeling since the love of her life was out to sea again. It made for a good excuse to buy a cake and have a sleepover. You are pretty glad that you have a best friend who still likes sleepovers. "You should call him."

"Listen, June, I know you thought we were perfect for each other but-"

June's demielf eyes narrow to cat-like slits. "Oh please."

"June, it was just two dates."

"And?"

"How much can you really know about a person in two dates?"

"You know when I decided I was gonna marry Em?" she asks.

"Well, you proposed on-"

"Date one."

You pause. "What?"

"I knew before the end of date one that she was the person I wanted to be with for the rest of my life. I knew it like I know the sky is blue and Versace does bold prints." She waves her hand through the air.

"That's not possible."

"Oh, it is. I realized I was doing everything I could to make her laugh because the sound of it was the best music I'd ever heard."

You can't help but remember Nick's laugh, and the way it came out too loud and honest. Your heart sinks into your stomach.

"And I wanted to keep ordering food, just so we could stay there longer," June continues.

After your first date, you and Nick just walked, walked until the only place you could go was home. You'd never wanted the night to end.

"But what really sealed the deal was how bad I wanted to see her again, even when we'd just said goodnight."

"But," you say, trying to ignore the feeling in your chest. "Couldn't it have just been an infatuation? Wasn't it just potential? Time and effort are what made it love, not your first date."

June shrugs. "Sounds to me like you are trying to convince someone in this room, and I'm pretty sure it's not me."

You lapse into silence as the words ring in your ears. Who are you trying to convince? You know that you had an amazing time with Nick. You know exactly what it felt like to laugh with him, run your hands across his shoulders, kiss him. You know that it was the exact mix of easy and heart tingling. You know that if ever there had been potential for something great, it existed in those two nights with Nick Jakoby.

"It doesn't matter," you say. "I wont get him hurt again."

June sets her plate aside and takes your hand in hers. "Sweetie, I get that. I do. But..." She takes a deep breath. "Listen, I don't know if you are ready to hear this but I'm going to go ahead and say it anyway."

She shifts her place on the couch until she is facing you, your hands cupped gently in her own. The look she gives you is one of kindness, but no-nonsense. It's a mother's look.

"I feel like you are about to ground me for doing something dumb," you say, trying to be light-hearted.

"Kind of. I mean, I do think you did something stupid."

You start to pull away. "June-"

She takes your hands again, more firmly. "You did. You did do something dumb. I love you, hun. I really do but this time? This time I think you screwed up."

"How? By protecting him? By making sure he never has to be in that hospital bed again? June, you didn't see him it was...it was-" You can't even bring yourself to say how bad it was.

June's hands tighten ever so slightly. "I know, sweetie. I know. It sucked. I know how seeing you hurt made me feel, and I can only imagine that it was worse seeing Nick like that. And I can only imagine how guilty it made you feel. But honestly? None of that matters."

"Why not?"

She blows out a soft breath. You can see a hard line of tension in her shoulders. She closes her eyes and when she opens them they are filled with a steady resolve. "Because you didn't even give him a choice. And hun, that was shitty." Since you rarely ever hear June curse, you know exactly how much she must mean this. "I know why you did it. I get it, but I don't really agree with it. You hurt yourself, which was your choice. But you hurt him too. You didn't give him an explanation, and you didn't give him closure." She holds up a hand before you can interrupt. "I'm not saying every person you go on a date with deserves a point by point explanation for why you don't want to see them again. But we both know that Nick wasn't just some date."

"I knew he'd try to talk me out of it."

June shrugs. "Maybe. Probably. But after getting hurt the way that he did, don't you think that he deserved the chance to try?"

Guilt drags at your stomach. You shake your head and pull your hands out of her grip. She lets you.

"I don't know that I'd have been strong enough to tell him no."

June shrugs. "Maybe because you shouldn't have."

You make a sound in the back of your throat and reach for the remote. "Come on, the show is-"

The words you were going to say die in your throat. The screen is filled with a news broadcast. A pretty woman you barely notice is talking about a fire downtown. The words Bright, officers down, possible magical terrorism hang like an ugly miasma in your ears. A picture of Nick superimposes itself over the fire.

You don't even remember getting up. You don't remember grabbing your coat. All you hear is the jingle of keys as you head to the hospital you ought never to have left him at.

#nick jakoby fanfiction #fanfiction #bright 2017 #nick jakoby #nick jakoby x reader

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charmingpplincardigans · 4 years

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👀

Thank you! (I’ve been enjoying your snippets so much.

This is one of the sections of the Ben & Klaus Brothers (TM) fic. I got 15,000 words into that before giving up, which is the longest I’ve ever gotten into a fic without just deciding I would finish it. I kind of feel like I should get back to it to post before season two comes out, but I also kind of feel like it doesn’t matter either way. I don’t know, we’re working on our brains in 2020 lads! Gonna stop worrying what other people want when it comes to the words we want to write!

. . .

“I don’t feel good about this,” Ben said.

They were standing on the sidewalk in front of a house on the outer edges of the city. It had taken Klaus two bus rides and twenty minutes of walking to even get here and now that they were here Ben wasn’t sure they wouldn’t be better off back in the alley where Klaus had been curling up to take quick cat naps for the last week. On their side of the leaning chain link fence the sidewalk was tidy and the grass was recently mowed. On the other side of it the stones to the front walk were all cracked with tall tufts of weeds growing up through and around them. The grass in the rest of the yard was intermittent with patches of grey dirt between hip high islands of weeds.

The house itself looked like a squat layer cake someone had left out in the storm. The second and third stories seemed to lean to the right. The light blue paint was flaking off the wooden slat boards that made up the side of the house and settling into the grass like melting snow. There was so much graffiti sprayed on the sides that only the boards nearest the overhang of the uneven first floor roof showed what the original color of it might have been. The graffiti was actually the least worrisome part of the scene to Ben. At least graffiti gave the impression that someone cared enough about the place to still be interacting with it. By contrast, the darkened windows and broken glass made it look unwelcoming and untouched.

“You don’t feel good about anything,” Klaus said. “I’m beginning to wonder if you’ve forgotten how to feel full stop.”

“When would I have had time to forget that when I’m forced to spend all of my time with you?”

Klaus scoffed and gently touched the tips of his fingers to his chest. “Me? I try my best not to feel anything at all.”

By way of demonstration he pulled a half-smoked blunt from his pocket and lit it. A woman coming up the sidewalk brushed past where Klaus was still standing in the middle of the sidewalk and cleared her throat loudly while dragging her rolling grocery basket over his feet. Klaus let the blunt hang from his lips while he used both fingers to flick her off.

“And what a good job you’re doing of that,” Ben observed.

Klaus turned his fingers on Ben. Then he spread his long legs wide like he was doing stretches and made a point of taking up as much of the sidewalk as he could while finishing off the blunt. He dropped the tip of it onto the sidewalk and let it burn itself out.

“I’ve got a song in my heart and I will not let you silence it,” Klaus said.

On the scale of nonsensical non-sequiturs Ben had gotten from Klaus over the last year that he’d been haunting him, this one didn’t even rate as interesting.

“Is that song Teenage Dirtbag by any chance?” Ben asked.

Klaus did not dignify Ben with an answer. He resituated the strap of his backpack over his shoulder and stepped into the yard. Ben followed behind him as he wandered from patch of weeds to patch of weeds and collected a fistfull of limp yellow and white flowers. He stuffed the stems of them into the front pocket of his jeans.

When he looked at Ben, Ben just raised an eyebrow at him.

“For the girl who’s letting me borrow her bed,” he said, as if fistfuls of weeds were a usual form of payment for anyone over the age of seven.

“If she lives here, she knows the flowers are here. She could bring them inside if she wanted them inside.”

Klaus shrugged, plucked an extra clutch of the white ones, and tucked them behind his right ear. Then he turned toward the front steps and Ben followed him reluctantly.

Ben didn’t want his brother sleeping rough, but Klaus was determined not to go back to the Academy and also to spend any money he got within fifteen minutes of it hitting his grubby little hands instead of saving up for a place to live. It was just that he didn’t want his brother sleeping in a murder squat in the suburbs either, but here they were, walking up a very creaky set of decrepit front steps and trying a door knob that slipped about inside of its frame when it was turned.

The inside of the house was not more well-preserved than the outside. Klaus walked across the entryway and started up the staircase in front of them without stopping to look around, but Ben did peer into the rooms to either side of them as they passed. The walls of the living room on the first floor were also sprayed in a rainbow clutter of designs, but the couch in the center of the room looked relatively clean. There was a pile of belongings next to it which probably meant someone had claimed it. The kitchen was a disaster he’d rather not think about. On the second floor they passed three bedrooms in various states of clutter, all of them had groups of people in them in various states of living their lives, some of which Ben really wished they’d shut the door for. The second floor bathroom was in a worse state than the kitchen.

Around a corner off the second floor hallway there was a tight doorway with a small rickety wooden staircase leading up into darkness. Klaus started up, running his hand along the wall as he went. When he reached the top he felt around in the dark for a few seconds before saying “aha!” and pushing a creaking door open. Late afternoon light flooded down the stairs and framed Klaus’s body in a halo of dust particles and cobwebs hanging from the door frame. The shadow thrown from him darkened his clothing and washed out his skin and for a moment he looked like he’d looked in the before, when they’d stood next to each other in black uniforms and faced possible death together.

Now they lived a life where they faced obvious and certain death together and it was not nearly as fun or sure as their life before had been. And given how stressful and traumatic their life before had actually been, that was saying something.

“Come on or don’t,” Klaus said. “I don’t care.” He turned and moved out of sight, leaving Ben to look down at himself as the afternoon light fell through him with no resistance.

Ben felt the sting of that, but tried to let it slide off. Klaus had only said it to sting Ben. He seemed to spend a lot of their time alone together trying to figure out how to get Ben to go away. Ben had yet to work out whether this was out of shame or self-preservation or maybe both. Some days his words landed deep enough that Ben absolutely would have left Klaus if he could, but he couldn’t. No matter where he tried to go he ended up back at Klaus’s side eventually, once whatever Klaus had done to himself wore off.

He waited a few minutes and then continued up the steps. Through the doorway there was a pretty sizeable attic. It was cordoned off into portions by shees tacked to the rafters with a crooked path leading down the center of them as a hallway. He drifted down it, dragging his fingers along the fabric of the sheets even though he could feel them, until he found Klaus in the far corner.

The space was just large enough for a twin sized four poster bed clothed in dirty thin sheets, a rickety dresser, and a person-sized alley between them. The wooden floors had been covered with a large stained rug that was bigger than the room area. It had the whole window though, cracked and dirty as it was. A faded pink sheet was tacked up just to the left of it, which meant the light was catching and bouncing against the pink sheet and the white one hanging perpendicular to it. The whole space glowed. Ben wondered distantly if this was what heaven would look like if he had ended up there.

Klaus dropped his bag next to the bed. He pulled the flowers out of his pocket and left them on the dresser. Then he pulled a baggy of pills out of the other pocket and dumped several into his hand.

“Don’t do that,” Ben said.

Klaus tipped his head back and let the drugs fall into his mouth without even bothering to argue his case to Ben. There wasn’t much of a case to argue anyway. Ben had long ago stopped trying to come up with logical, reasonable reasons why Klaus shouldn’t drug himself to oblivion. He wasn’t going to do it for Ben’s sake and he certainly wasn’t going to do it for his own sake. Anyway, the problem with trying to argue logic with an addict who could talk to the dead was that withdrawal hurt and ghosts hurt and drugs didn’t hurt. In the short term anyway.

When Ben had been alive he hadn’t realized just how much of Klaus was a naked nerve, how everything he brushed up against could light him up with mental and physical pain Ben didn’t have a reference for. Not that he’d never been in pain, just that Klaus seemed to feel it all differently than Ben did. Instead of viewing it as an extension of himself he viewed it as the core of himself, pulled every drop of it into himself because the more he had the bigger he felt. One would hope that eventually he could make himself big enough to be immune to much more of it, but that hadn’t happened yet.

Ben hopped up onto the dresser as Klaus lowered himself onto the bed and its creaking mattress. They sat and watched the sun filter in through the window in silence.

“We should get out of town,” Ben said after some minutes.

“We are out of town,” Klaus said, voice quiet.

“No, for real. Too far to take a bus.” Ben felt wistful. Outside the window the sun was setting over the street and tinting everything a hopeful gold. It lit up in the cracks in the glass like a river burning through a map. He wondered if sunsets looked the same everywhere or if different streets and trees and wider skies reflected it differently. He had a strong urge to leave now and stop in every city between here and the Pacific Ocean to check, and then continue on past the end of the land toward the mystery who the two of them might be when they weren’t hiding in plain sight in the shadow of their collective past. “If you’re not going to go home, if you’re going to insist on living as perilously as possible, you can do that anywhere.”

Klaus didn’t answer. When Ben turned to look at him he was sitting hunched over his drawn up knees with his eyes closed. The light was hitting his face full on, but there were still shadows collecting around the ridges and shallow hollows of his cheeks and jaw. The flowers behind his ear were drooping forward, thin stems and petals arching down as if they were reaching back toward the earth. Klaus looked tired and very close to slipping away.

Ben did not want to lose him, and that wasn’t entirely because he worried that if he did he would lose himself.

“Are you even listening to me? I bet we could get Pogo to give us the money for it. Somehow.”

Klaus fell back on the mattress with his arms spread wide. He dragged them across the mess of sheets, up and down, up and down, creating the top half of a wrinkled and stained, threadbare snow angel. He stared up at the ceiling for several long minutes while Ben listened to the sounds of rustling from the other inhabitants of the abandoned house.

Some of the sounds were human. Ben was sure that at most, a quarter of the sounds that didn’t seem human were being made by actual non-human beings. By contrast, only a quarter of the inhabitants of the place were not rats or other ghosts. From the outside the place had looked empty, but it was teeming with life and afterlife.

“I am, in fact, trying not to listen to you,” Klaus said. “In case you couldn’t tell.”

“You can’t live like this,” Ben said. He hadn’t had a living body that could fall to injury or disease for at least a year, but he was still wary of brushing up against too many things. There were stains and needles and spent matches on almost every surface of every part of the house he’d seen. He was very glad he couldn’t smell it.

Klaus giggled, high and manic, and because they were connected and Ben could feel him he could feel the moment when the drugs hit his head. There was an unsettling swoop in Ben’s gut.

Klaus rubbed his hands over his face. “No,” he said. “You can’t live like this. You can’t live at all. Anymore.”

“Fuck you,” Ben replied, though he couldn’t bring himself to put any real anger behind it.

Klaus was an asshole, but he was right. And he was the only thread Ben could hold on to that linked him to his life, kept him from disappearing into the void of after-life. They had been close once, and in some ways Ben was mourning that as much as he was still mourning the loss of his breath or his beating heart. Ben simply didn’t know this person anymore, this pretty, unwashed, painted up boy made of angles and hollows who was on the cusp of becoming a man, but who still seemed so young.

It was Klaus’s recklessness and the utter disregard for his own well-being that bothered Ben the most. To Ben, Klaus’s whole being was a precious flame of life that he knew could go out at any moment. It was urgent and imperative that he block it from the wind. Which was difficult, when all Klaus seemed to want to do was step into the gale.

“I just need, ten minutes,” Klaus mumbled. “Just give me ten minutes to exist by myself.” His voice was soft, and it trailed off into the final f.

Ben felt it the moment he was cut off. The feeling of dread for Klaus diminished and he was left with his own feeling of complete and total lightness, in the setting but not of it, not affected by it. He knew Klaus wouldn’t hear him now, probably couldn’t see him. It didn’t matter. He would wait. After all, it wasn’t as if he had anything else to do.

He pulled a battered copy of The Myth of Sisyphus from the pocket of his jacket and opened it to page 165. When he had been living the book only had 160 pages in it, but it seemed that authors and philosophers were frequently uneasy in death, adding adding adding to the things they did in life as if they could somehow change who they had been. Ben was not doing that. He wasn’t.

But he would chase Klaus from low to low if he had to. He’d make him see how important his muted, shallow breathing was. And then…well, he wasn’t sure he’d actually get that accomplished, so he’d hold off for now on putting anything else on the list.

#memes #i write things #girlfriendsofthegalaxy #the umbrella academy #klaus hargreeves #ben hargreeves #i feel like some of the writing in this dumb fic #is actually pretty good #pfah #adding it to the list for the new year

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priincesspacificaarchive · 5 years

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💍 + Elipper *

WEDDING MEME||ACCEPTING

[under the cut bc it’s looonngg.]

where they get married

gf probs??? outside. there’s a a chuppah, and elise+her side of the wedding party are wearing yellow and flower crowns (except elise is wearing white i guess?) the chuppah has daisies and the crowns are made of daisies.

when they get married ( ie what time of day, what month and season etc. )

it’s summer, daytime, maybe early june. like when they first met or something else rly sappy.

what traditions they include ( do they get married under a chuppah and crush a glass, garter toss, ‘something borrowed, something blue,’ etc. )

they definitely try very hard to combine their two traditions. i’ve always loved the idea of the pines family being jewish and with pacifica and elise being puerto rican and wanting to reconnect with their own heritage i think it’d make perfect sense for them to try and combine their two traditions. like there’s a chuppah, but the flowers on it are daisies and ampola flowers. elise carries a fan, but she and dipper also circle each other. they sign a ketubah, with their twin sister’s signing as witnesses. dipper’s parents walk him to the chuppah, but paz walks elise since their parents are in jail. they break a glass and cheer “mazel tov”. there’s the bedeken. the Seven Blessings are read, and soft music is played as in puerto rican tradition. not only do i love cultures in general, but i love blending them, and i think elise and dipper would try very hard to incorporate their heritage into their wedding. obviously i’m neither of these things, but i’ve done some minor research and i’m hoping these are accurate. (google don’t fail me now.)

what their wedding cake looks likes

it’s pineapple flavored, as puerto rican custom decides. and white with blue and yellow seashells. i was originally gonna ind a cake thing and try to make it but honestly i’m too tired of these things i just want them out of my drafts!

….who smashes cake into whose face

elise in dipper’s first, then he goes to feed her a piece all nice like and smashes it into her nose to keep from ruining her hair or makeup too much. boy knows that shit takes WORK.

who proposed to who firsts

lowkey wanna say elise at least brought it up first. dipper def got the ring and officially proposed first.

who walks down the aisle and who waits at the altar ( or neither )

dipper is walked to the chuppah ahead of elise by his parents, then elise follows being guided by pacifica.

what their wedding dresses / suits / other look like

elise’s is white with yellow accents and it’s just long and flowy and soft looking with minimal beading/embroidery.

what their wedding colour scheme is and what sort of decor they have

light yellow and probably light blue? like sky blue and sunflower yellow. idk about decor okay i’m cLUELESS ABOUT WEDDING DECOR.

what flowers are in the bouquet ( if applicable. bonus: what do the flowers mean?)

daffodils (meaning new beginnings) and forget-me-nots (meaning, well, forget me not), wrapped in baby’s breath (meaning everlasting love) (sunflowers mean false riches and yellow roses mean infidelity so those were NOS) there’s also ampola, as tradition states, and elise also carries an ampola fan.

what their vows are ( eg poetry, traditional, improvised etc. )

they def had they’re own vows but dipper’s ended with “i promise to be your earth and your sky forever.” and elise’s was like “i promise to be your sun and your flame, forever and ever

if anyone’s late to the wedding

it’s gideon bc he didn’t wanna come xD no fr it’s probably no one. everyone they invite is very excited to see them get married so they wouldn’t try to be disrespectful like that.

who’s in the bridal parties / groomsmen / other

elise has paz and robbie, dipper has wendy and mabel. robbie and wendy get paired up but they havent been together in half of forever so they dont care. tbh robbie’s probs married to tambry w a baby on the way by now lets face it. and elise only picked him bc she knew he’d be easier to pair w wendy. also sorry dip u have no friends outside the galaxy square. (psst, actually none of them do bc fuck it i’m no good w npcs.)

what their bridal party / groomsmen / other are wearing

paz’s bridesmaid dress is soft and flowy and bright yellow with a daisy flower crown. robbie/mabel/wendy are wearing black tuxes with ties that match the bridesmaid dress. everyone is wearing a daisy flower crown. except dipper.

who gives speeches at the reception ( bonus: what do they say? recount a sweet memory or two between them? tell an embarrassing story? )

pacifica talks about how she’s watched their love blossom since they were twelve, mabel tells embarrassing stories about some of the adventures they went on together. the mic is then opened to the floor and gideon and stan rush it to tell embarrassing stories next. stan’s turns tearful when he talks about dipper finally becoming a man. it’s a very emotional day.

who catches the bouquet( s )

candy. who promptly looks at her date with “oh shit” eyes.

what their wedding photos are like ( are they sweet, with the couple holding hands or kissing or ~gazing into each others eyes~? are they silly, with a snapshot of the ‘cake-smash’ moment? or are they artistic, with one of them facing the sunset or holding their bouquets? )

most of them are sweet, pictures of them smiling and laughing together. there’s photos of the cake smashing, dipper gives her a piggyback ride in her dress and heels in one. some of them are silly. capturing goofy faces they make at each other to get them to laugh. it’s like taking pictures of the essence of their relationship. they put them in an actual album that mabel helps with.

what sort of food they have at the reception

they probably try to continue to combine their traditions by using some of purto rico’s local dishes and some traditional jewish dishes. (look i’m doing some minor research here okay. if i keep googling this stuff my family’s gonna think i’m secretly engaged or something.)

who cries first during the ceremony

it’s definitely a close tie but it’s dipper, cause he sees her first. then elise. then mabel. then paz. then stan is bawling in his seat but like. in a manly way. also soos is crying.

how wild their reception gets ( who dances the best, who gets drunk first, etc. )

mabel and elise set off ffirecrackers and almost get arrested. thank god for sheriff blubbs and deputy durland. toby determined crashed and got shitfaced and tore up the dancefloor. paz and elise danced together instead of a father/daughter dance, which they’d done for pacifica’s wedding the day before. they had a joint celebration dinner the night before that. robbie and tambry like, barely left each other’s sides but it’s fine bc dipper barely left elise’s. they had one of those photobooths and the main four spent like hours getting amazing pictures. those ALSO go in the album.

what their rings are like

simple gold bands. elise’s wedding ring is probably the ring dipper gifted her during the ceremony. her engagement ring is a gold band with a white diamond center surrounded by yellow accent diamonds.

what sort of favours they have ( heart shaped sparklers, mini champagne bottles, personalised candy etc. )

they definitely had something sun and sky-themed. idk what tho. also they passed out capias for puerto rican tradition.

where they go for their honeymoon

they go camping out in some really nice woods and like, mountain-y area. elise fucking loves it.

something memorable that happens during the party / ceremony ( do they run out of ice and someone goes to get it in full formal wear on foot, does anyone fall asleep in the middle of the party, etc. )

its gf so lots of things happen but tbh the most memorable is people drunkenly asking the twins (even w their VERY different hair) why they’re not dancing w so-and-so and still getting them confused. also if anyone is running out for ice in full formal wear its robbie bc ngl that shits hILARIOUS to my currently sleep-addled brain.

who officiates the ceremony

i want it to be mayor tyler for some reason

what song their first dance is to

‘close to you’ by the carpenters bC IM A SUCKER FOR IT. also the soft sound is too perfect for elipper im cry. if not that it’d be a soft live rendition of “i can’t help (falling in love with you)” bc that’s literally on the elipper playlist.

who gives who away as they walk down the aisle

as it’s a chuppah it’s dipper and then elise. (ngl i love all this tradition stuff i feel like my wedding is gonna be some boring christian traditional thing and that makes me wanna cry bruh.)

#tiitaniumxwill #[you have one new message][asks]#[the princess has answered][answered asks]#[twingenuity][twin au]#[when icarus touched the sun][elipper]#[queue makes problems go away][queue]

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