#it’s kind of sad how nikolai’s feeling is one sided

[yuyonyu]

Gogol’s unrequited love

#i died when he put fyodor’s arm NEXT TO HIS FACE #it’s kind of sad how nikolai’s feeling is one sided #he’s a widow now #congrats on joining the dead husband club #except that fyodor’s probably not dead💀 #skk lived too it’s not soukokover #the old man yaoi made me so miserable #bsd #bungou stray dogs #fyodor dostoevsky #nikolai gogol #gogol #fyolai #fanart #bsd fanart #art #fyodor really went KA BOOM BOOM

[ashthemadwriter-archived]

Baby Boy Darling!

—Your boyfriend turning into a little baby? What are you going to do with him?

Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

Pairings: Dazai, Chuuya, Fyodor, Nikolai, Ranpo, Jouno X Fem! Reader

Genre: Fluff, Humor

Format: Drabble

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1.8K

A/n: Mildly rushed but acceptable ig!

↳Osamu Dazai

"You know... I don't think this is a good choice for a bedtime story"

The little infant in your arms looked at you curiously. He wasn't old enough to make any sounds other than crying, but the martyred expression he was wearing and his firm grip on your thumb displayed his intention with no complicacy. Nevertheless, that didn't stop you from putting the suicide manual on the nightstand.

"Now now, don't look at me like that. I'm a good babysitter, and a good babysitter doesn't teach babies ways to kill themselves"

You gently caressed his puffy cheeks. "I'm also a generous babysitter, which is why I don't slap your hand away when you grab my boobs"

His gaze fell on his small chubby hand that was trying to get a hold of your breast. It was a good thing you had a T-shirt on, or with the way he was trying to cup them they would've been bleeding by now.

"I'm sorry honey, I don't think you can hold them anymore. Your hands are just too tiny!"

He whined and pouted in response.

"I know! I'm sad too. C'mon, smile a little for me will you? Smile for your mommy"

If he was still an adult, he would have rolled his eyes and smiled, but he wasn't. He was just a cranky baby who was probably planning your murder in his cute little head.

"Get it? Mommy? I'm your mommy! God you didn't have a sense of humor when you were a child did you? I miss my kind, loving boyfriend"

He looked at you unfazedly.

"Alright, how about I sing you a song? Twinkle twinkle little star, how I wonder what you aaaaaaaa— ah!?"

Dazed, you looked down at your baby boyfriend with widened eyes, only to find him staring back at you while his mouth was on your right breast. He was trying to suck on it, but that wasn't easy when it was covered with two layers of clothes, your bra and your T-shirt. Your eyebrows jumped in surprise.

"Wow, you still like the right one better?"

↳Fyodor Dostoyevsky

"So this is the power imbalance they were talking about huh?"

The violet eyed infant stares at you blankly, having a "it won't be this way for long" look in his eyes. You're holding him in front of you while sitting on the edge of the bed, wearing the cheekiest grin you could ever wear.

"No wonder you were so crazy about it. Having somebody wrapped around your finger... feels awesome!"

Still the same bored look.

"giving me the cold shoulder now? I'm just using simple logic to prove my point-which is also what you used to do. I'm saying that from this moment, you're totally and completely dependant on me"

Fyodor tilts his head to the side and gives you a weird look, tempting you to imitate his gesture. A strong feeling is causing you to brag about the current situation and tease him, and you're willingly giving into it.

"Alright. Since I'm the one in charge now, I'm setting a few ground rules. No more acting all workaholicly and staying up until late. No more skipping meals, mister. Im gonna feed you with my special milk, hehehe~ Also, I've got some confessions to make"

It's probably a bad decision to bring these up right now, but you're too captured in the heat of the moment to realize that.

"Ok. I've been trying to tell you this for quite a while. The truth is... I'm pregnant"

The unfazed look is still on.

"Yeah, that was a lie. The real truth is... I was the one who ate all your snacks"

Still no change in his expression.

"...But I assume you already know that. Ugh, keeping secrets from you is such a pain... could you not figure me out for just once?"

Fyodor doesn't seem very eager to respond. He's already very annoyed with how things have turned out and is not really in the mood to joke around. You come to that conclusion when he touches your forearm with his chubby little hand.

"You're gonna activate your ability and kill me, aren't you?"

↳Nikolai Gogol

"Quiz time!!"

Your baby boyfriend whines in annoyance.

"Who's gonna get paid one in his own coin and suffer like I did every time he teased me?"

You flash him a cocky smirk, matched with the way you're looking at him from above as he's lying on the bed. You're standing next to the bed, happier than you could ever be, planning all the steps of your revenge as you trash talk to him.

"That's right. It's no one but youuuuu! Hahahahaha!!"

Nikolai wants to prove to you that he's still strong and nobody can defeat him, but he realizes there's noway he can imply that other by a sulky attitude, which he reluctantly suffices to.

You hold his favorite snack in front of him and shake it, smiling wildly. "Come on darling! Have some! Eh? What are you waiting for? Awwwww! You can't? Then I'll help myself!"

You shoved the entire thing in your mouth and laughed hysterically.

"Nom nom* tastes nom* heavenly! No wonder you never let me have a bite!"

Nikolai is starting to feel a little guilty now. He didn't know that his teasings have made you a spiteful whore.

"You hate babies so much, and now you are one! That's the scariest punishment itself! Can you feel the power of karma? It's a bitch, ain't it? Well, now that you can't talk anymore, I have something to say to you!"

You bend over until there's a small gap between you, pointing at his tiny figure. The bullying attitude is all gone and instead, there's soft glare lying in your eyes.

"I want one of these. Give me one when you get back, Kolya"

You're wrong. This is the scariest punishment.

↳Saigiku Jouno

"Thank you for the meal!"

Jouno is upset. There are many unfortunate things happening for him at the moment. He doesn't like to be a baby. He doesn't want to be unable to do anything other than crying, pooping, eating and sleeping. More importantly, he doesn't want to feel your teeth on his cheeks.

"Mhm, so soft and squishy!" You smile sweetly and look at his puffy cheeks, stained with your bite marks in crimson. "I could just eat you up now, 'giku. You tatse so sweet!"

Anyone who hears this would be happy and blush slightly, but Jouno wasn't one of them, as he tilts his head and looks away, having the most adorable pout on his lips.

Grumpy as always.

"C'mon now, it's not that bad! Look on the bright side! Everyone will have to do everything for you since you can't do it yourself"

Jouno tilts his head back, his eyebrows jumped in surprise.

"Right, that wasn't a really good example of the bright side"

Sighing, you lay next to him on the matress, hands traveling through his white locks. His muscles relax a little bit as he gives into your warmth, nuzzling his head in your chest. You hum with a soft beam, inhaling his baby scent.

"You smell very nicely too, 'giku. Don't be too depressed about this. It's not the end of the world. We'll find a way to turn you back eventually. Plus..."

You lightly pat his back, pressing a lingering kiss on his forehead. "I can have you all to myself, since you can't go on any missions and leave me here all alone anymore"

Yeah, Jouno thinks, maybe it's not that awful after all.

↳Ranpo Adogawa

"Ouch! Why you- let go of my hair you aggressive baby!"

Ranpo cries a whine out and pulls your hair harder, leading you to scream back even louder.

"Stop it! What is wrong with you? I dont care how upset you are, I'm not gonna give you any sweets- ow ow ow!! Ranpo- I said let go of my fucking hair you dumbass!"

Your angry shout startles the dark haired baby. It's not just that he's little, you'd never talked like this to him before. Slowly loosening his grip on your hair, he starts sobbing quietly, covering his face with his chubby hands. This breaks your heart.

"Nooo... I'm sorry sweetie! Mommy- Aunty- god I dont even know what I am to you anymore! Whatever- I'm sorry ok? But you can't eat sweets baby boy, you're smart enough to know that, right?"

Smart enough to know that?? Huh!

Ranpo sees right through your little plan. He knows all these little tricks inside out- hell he was the one who taught you all of them; but what pisses him off is how it's working on him even though he knows your true intention.

The smirk you've been holding back shamelessly appears on your face when he wears a serious expression, nodding like someone who's given an important task and is determined to do it carefully and correctly, then points at your boobs.

Your smile instantly fades away.

"Shit. I'm not doing that"

↳Chuuya Nakahara

"Your struggle is hilarious to me"

Baby Chuuya watched you with a threatening glare. He was clearly unhappy about this situation, and you enjoying his frustration was not going to help him at all.

"I know you really need it right now, but honestly, I don't think your little tummy can digest that"

Merely ignoring you, he tried to open the bottle of wine he was struggling to hold with his chubby feet; but every time he pulled, the bottle would slip out of his not so tight grasp. He couldn't use his ability on it, since the bottle would sink into his little body. He couldn't even roll over on the bed, and his so called nanny was laughing instead of helping him.

Forget about all the things he'd been through. This was the true misery.

"Alright. Give me the bottle"

He didn't seem to agree, because he immediately hugged the bottle with all the strength he had, like it was his dearest thing. Your serious expression showed that you weren't going to give up either.

"You give me that bottle mister or you won't get extra milk tonight"

Reluctantly, he opened his arms and you snatched the bottle, putting it somewhere high. When you turned around, you saw him sulking.

"Don't be like that baby, you know you can't drink that right now. I thought you were a reasonable person hmm?"

The cute pout resting on his lips made you giggle and bend down to kiss his cheek. He was still pretty upset, so he looked away from you. Unfortunately, he couldn't do anything about the little blush on his face.

You carefully held him up and looked at his tiny figure. His long hair was gone and instead, there were short ginger locks on his head. His bluebell eyes however, hadn't changed one bit, still as gorgeous as ever.

You smiled at him. "You want me to throw you up?"

He looked oblivious. He probably knew what you were talking about, but hadn't figured out whether you were serious or not.

Shaking your head to the side, you tightened your grip on his waist before throwing him up in the air, and catching him before he fell on the ground. He got so excited that he started laughing, letting out adorable baby noises.

"Aww, you like that huh? want me to do it again?"

He blinked.

"Ok! Three, two, one! Whoa!"

Chuuya had jumped higher than this before, but not once did he feel the thrill he was experiencing now. He was having the time of his life, flying in the air with no effort. Every time you threw him up, his mouth got opened wider, wider, and wider,

until vomit came out of it, landing on your chest.

There weren't any throwing and catching after that, since you were too busy looking at the vomit, shocked. But it wasn't him vomiting that caught you off guard, it was the vomit. It wasn't milk, it was wine.

"Ok, we need to talk about your drinking problem when you turn back to an adult"

All rights reserved © 2023 AshTheMadWriter. Please do not copy, repost, translate, or modify my works on any platform.

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#bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #bsd imagines #bsd scenarios #bsd fluff #dazai x reader #chuuya x reader #fyodor x reader #nikolai x reader #jouno x reader #ranpo x reader #dazai fluff #chuuya fluff #ranpo fluff #fyodor fluff #nikolai fluff #jouno fluff #jouno saigiku x reader #saigiku jouno x reader #dazai osamu x reader #osamu dazai x reader #chuuya nakahara x reader #nakahara chuuya x reader #ranpo adogawa x reader #adogawa ranpo x reader #fyodor Dostoyevsky x reader #nikolai gogol x reader #ashthemadwriter #dazai imagines #chuuya imagines

[nghtwngs]

solace

description; After a long day, Nikolai finds relief in you.

pairing; king!nikolai lantsov x fem!reader

genre; smut, fluff, established relationship

word count; 1.8k

warnings; 18+, somno!! (which automatically makes it dubcon, so don’t read if that makes you uncomfortable), reader is asleep for part of this but has consented (pls discuss boundaries with your partners guys), fingering, unprotected sex (a no no irl), cream pie, oral (fem-receiving), cum-eating, swearing, nikolai needs his own warning, christ this is kind of depraved (but also tender?)

notes; i have been thinking a LOT of thoughts lately. this is the first time i’ve ever written smut, so it’s probably terrible haha never thought i’d be writing anything explicit but i was not strong enough to resist this man. but i think this is a one and done type of thing. i do have a few other nikolai works in my drafts though, so if i ever get around to it, i’ll finish and post them

notes ii; i saw that s&b got cancelled :(( i’ve never seen it nor have i read any of the books… (sorry if nikolai is ooc) but hopefully i’ll get around to either of them eventually. mostly im sad bc there likely won’t be a resurgence in nikolai fics, and i already feel like i’m in a drought. i mean look at him!! (i <3 gif makers)

Nikolai is exhausted.

It’s late when he returns to his chambers. His mind is still filled with all the tasks he had performed that day while thinking about all the ones left for tomorrow. But his eyes had grown too bleary while staring at a document (a trade agreement perhaps?), reading the same line for the hundredth time before he was finally lured by the idea of slipping into bed with you. He was hoping he would come back before you went off to bed, but it was already well into the night, and you would be asleep by now. He enters your shared room and finds you sleeping the night away.

He’s not sure how you do it. He thinks the bed is much too big to sleep in alone and can no longer slip into a restful slumber without you. When Nikolai catches a glimpse of your face, soft and relaxed—not a worry in sight—his heart flutters. A smile curls his lips at the sight of you while he changes out of his clothes for the day.

Once he frees himself of his shirt and trousers, he slips on a soft pair of pants. He makes it towards the foot of the bed, noticing that the comforter was no longer tucked in. Instead, it pools around your calves. You’re laying on your side, hands tucked beneath your head. His hazel eyes stick onto the expanse of your skin, and before he realizes it, his fingers are delicately wrapping around your leg. You’re cold to the touch. He makes a move to cover your skin with the rest of the comforter.

However, you’re more enticing than you realize. He tells you so often. You find it difficult to believe, but it’s just the plain truth, and Nikolai is an honest man.

Most of the time, of course.

With a small breath, Nikolai pushes the blanket further up, revealing more and more of your legs. His eyes, tired but greedy, devour the sight. When he reaches past your thighs, his lips part when he realizes that you’re completely bare. You must have been waiting for him.

He nearly groans.

You had given him your explicit permission to do this before, but Nikolai had never been given the opportunity. Until now. Is this what you were hoping for when you fell into the land of dreams? Saints, the thought sends blood rushing down to his cock.

Your slit is now exposed to the cool air, and you squirm a little. His eyes glance up at your face, wondering if he had already woken you. No matter though, he wouldn’t mind having you either way. His fingers dance along your thighs, edging closer to your cunt. You’re gorgeous, he thinks before running a finger over your soft folds. When he reaches your hole though, he feels a familiar stickiness. Had you already touched yourself? Was that how you were able to fall asleep in this bed that was much too large for just one of you?

He collects some of your release on his finger. There’s not a lot that hasn’t already dried, but just enough to start circling your clit without too much friction (with some help from his saliva). He hears you breathe in deeply as he draws lazy circles with his finger. With his other hand, he palms himself through his pants, already hardening from both the sight and feel of you.

Part of him wants to see the rest of you, but he doesn’t want to leave you cold. He wonders if you’re wearing anything at all—the answer is likely not. It’s not long before you’re wet enough, and he’s able slip two entire fingers into you. You’re already clenching around his hand, a soft whimper leaving your pretty lips.

Nikolai could come from this alone.

You squirm again, unknowingly beginning to grind into his hand. Nikolai watches your lips part, the prettiest sounds escaping your mouth. You’re nearly there. He can feel you tightening around his fingers, but he won’t let you come just yet. Right before your peak, he takes his fingers out of you. Your legs shake as he rubs the skin of your thigh soothingly.

He shrugs off his trousers, stepping out of them and freeing himself. The tip of his cock is red, and he uses his fingers to smear the pre-cum around it. He groans slightly as he pumps himself. With little patience left, he lines himself up with your entrance and lets out a soft sigh at the feeling of your wetness.

He drags his cock through your cunt, gathering your arousal. He slips into your warmth with a sharp exhale, feeling your tight, wet walls squeezing him. Nikolai has half a mind not to curse, not wanting to wake you. He holds the side of your leg with his hand and fights the urge to shut his eyes. He holds himself still for a few moments, and yet they feel like an eternity.

He wants to watch himself slide in and out of you. He pulls his hips back until only the tip of him is left before pushing back into you deeply. Nikolai starts a steady rhythm, pleasurable but slow enough to keep him from spilling into you too quickly.

A whine leaves your mouth, your face scrunching at the feeling of being stretched and filled. “N-nikolai?” Your voice is raspy and filled with sleep as your hand reaches up to rub your eyes. You can barely keep them open. It’s adorable. His cock hits a sensitive spot, causing you to moan out. “Shit.”

“Darling,” he greets as if he’s not buried deep inside you. He grins down at you and starts to thrust into you faster.

Nikolai beams when a bright laugh comes from your lips.

“This is a surprise,” you murmur, grinding down onto him.

“A pleasant one, I hope?”

“Very. When did you get back?”

“Not long ago… I wanted to finish everything before you fell asleep, but there was a lot of work left to do. I saw you looking just lovely in our bed and decided to surprise you.”

You smile sympathetically, knowing how busy your king is. The blanket, which was bunched up over your torso, is moved to the side by you, exposing the rest of your body to his eyes. He’s right. You aren’t wearing anything at all. You turn onto your back and reach down, lacing your fingers with his. “I’m glad you did. Though I do think some rest is in order for you. You look terrible.”

He scoffs, sounding bewildered at the notion that he could look anything less than perfect. “Terrible? You wound me, wife.”

“Only for the sake of keeping you humble, my king.” You let out a chuckle which bleeds into a moan when he thrusts into a particular spot.

“There?” he asks, pushing into the same place once more.

Pleasantly, you sigh with a nod. “And I only meant ‘terrible’ in the sense that you look exhausted. Otherwise, I suppose you’re pretty perfect.”

A soft smile takes over his features. “I know, darling.”

You moan his name, pulling him down into a kiss. “You feel so good.”

He returns your kiss, grunting at how tightly your walls are clenching around him. His fingers find your clit, rubbing tight circles. You cry out, and he swallows your sounds with another kiss.

“That’s it,” he coos as you bury your face in his shoulder.

“Nikolai,” you gasp. “I’m so—so close.”

“I know, darling. It’s going to feel so good. Let me take care of you.”

Nikolai feels your lips pressed against the column of his throat, placing wet kisses to his skin.

“Saints, please… I need you. I want you to fill me.”

He lets out a heavy groan, his eyes nearly rolling back as he moans out your name. “Don’t worry, I promise I will. Fuck, you’re so tight.” Nikolai begins to babble. “You’re doing so good for me, taking me so well… sound so pretty, so, so warm. Perfect… Shit, I’m close. You have to come first—Can you do that for me? Good girl.”

His fingers move even faster while he fucks himself into you. Your release hits you quickly as he pounds his length into your sopping cunt. You tighten around him, causing his hips to stutter before he finally spills himself inside of you. You whimper, feeling his hot cum fill you.

He collapses onto you, his cock still inside your spasming warmth. He wraps his arms around your body. It’s like he’s melted into you. You hold him close, both of your chests heaving. One of your hands finds a home in his blond curls, running your fingers through them in a way that always soothes him.

“I love you.”

He grins into your skin, pressing a kiss to your bare chest. “I love you too.”

A few minutes later, he pulls out, leaving you emptier than either of you would like. He stares down at your puffy lips, watching his cum drip out of you. In a daze, his fingers rub his release around your folds, eliciting a soft whine from you. He doesn’t know whether he wants to push it back inside you, to fill you up again, or to clean you up with his mouth.

He thinks all three would be agreeable.

Nikolai leaves a trail of kisses down your chest, stopping at your entrance. “Will you let me clean you up, darling?”

You raise your eyebrows at him. “You don’t mean with your mouth, do you?”

“C’mon, I haven’t gotten to do this in ages—and it’s my favorite. Let me taste you, love.” He says this between several kisses to your thighs.

You pull him closer, cupping his face with your hand and thumbing his cheekbone. “I just want to make sure you’re getting enough sleep, Kolya. You’re going to be so tired in the morning.”

“I’ll be fine,” he reassures you, “and even better if you let me do this.”

He tries to stifle a grin. You’re unable to resist him or deny him of anything he wants, and he likes to exploit this fact from time to time. Alright, perhaps all the time—especially when what he wants is you. Who were you to keep him from his heart’s desires?

You sigh in defeat. “Okay, fine, but you’re sleeping in with me all morning.”

“I wouldn’t want it any other way,” he answers, knowing just as well that he couldn’t say no to you either.

His tongue darts out, wetting his lips before he wraps them around your clit. He delights in the noises you make. Your legs nearly close around his head, but he places his hands on your thighs, keeping them spread. He licks between your folds, moaning at the taste of your shared release.

Nikolai looks up at you, meeting your gaze with a devious grin. “Darling, you taste delightful.”

“Nikolai,” you whine. “Please.”

The desperation in your voice is enough to make him hard again. He smiles, a softness in his eyes as he admires your blissed face. “Anything for you, darling,” he answers, putting his mouth back on your cunt, doing whatever he can to draw out those pretty noises from your lips again.

#posting this and running away #nikolai lantsov x reader #nikolai lantsov imagine #nikolai lantsov smut #nikolai lantsov fluff #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone imagine

[holden-caulfield]

𝐑𝐈𝐃𝐈𝐂𝐔𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐒, 𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓?

━ 𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐌.𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 - 𝐍.𝐋. 𝐌.𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

━ 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: as prince of Ravka, Nikolai had many privileges, one of these being having a personal servant. But as much as the reader can't resist the prince's charms, he doesn't seem to be immune either...

━ 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: nikolai lantsov x servant!reader

━ 𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐃: yes

━ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: flashback are in italics

━ 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 2013

━ 𝐀/𝐍: i'm not sure this is exactly what the request asked for, but i don't (and can't for the life of me) write smut so i hope this is okay anyway :')

Queen Tatiana had been very kind, for her standards, gifting Nikolai one of his numerous servants. She had one for every single step of her routine and she liked to change them once she learned their names a little too well. Once a servant was done working for the queen, they usually stayed in the palace, taking care of what needed to be taken care of.

It wasn't all the times that the queen personally decided to assign one of her old servants to their new job, and it was even rarer that said job was to be the prince's personal servant. But you couldn't complain.

You weren't too sad to be leaving the queen's side and experiencing more of the palace, especially if it was to work right beside the prince. You found your new job to be even better once you realized the prince didn't have as many needs as the queen: he liked company, mostly. Someone to join him wherever he needed to go, someone that would bear his constant banter; and you didn't mind it.

You made sure to greet him in the morning when he woke up, follow him throughout the day unless told differently, and greet him goodnight so that you could finally sleep too. It was easier than following every single one of the queen's instructions, and it was much more entertaining too. Not to talk about the prince, lighting every room he walked into with the simplest of smiles.

"Good morning, your highness." You greeted the prince as he opened the door of his rooms, meeting you already up and waiting. "Any plans for today?"

"I was thinking breakfast to start," he said with all the seriousness of a war strategist.

"Excellent choice, your highness, but i believe the cooks already had such a brilliant idea."

The two of you started walking together towards the kitchens, side by side, like you always did. It wasn't common for servants to walk as freely as you did, but Nikolai had requested it and you couldn't go against the prince's orders.

"These cooks, they're getting better and better every day," he said, still serious. "If i were king, they'd be on the first line beside the first and second army."

"And i would agree," you said, matching his tone. "I would never mess with a cook, especially around noon."

He let a chuckle escape. A brief look down at you, which you couldn't acknowledge or you would have become redder than an inferni's coat.

The conversation died there but it didn't feel uneasy, it didn't feel uncomfortable; silence with Nikolai felt relieving. As if in those moments he could hear all the words you weren't saying, all the feelings you couldn't externalize. You hoped he actually didn't, or you would have been in great trouble: falling in love with a member of the royal family was embarrassing other than stupid.

A cliché, really. The servant falling in love with the prince. You swore you'd read some book about it and yet it didn't stop you from dreaming about the possibility of it all. And yet that was exactly what it was; a possibility.

The day went by like it always did: you followed Nikolai around, even when he had no particular event to attend to. You talked freely around him, making comments about certain situations like how unappealing the tie his brother had chosen that day looked. And he would answer, a whisper so as to not be heard, that he was pretty sure his brother had decided to dress by himself, 'like a big boy', that day and that it was an unfortunate decision for everyone that had to see him.

You would have never dared such a topic with the queen, but Nikolai made it easy. He had established since the first day that he didn't want a servant, rather a friend.

"I can perfectly dress by myself and, even if it might not always look like it, comb my hair all alone," he said letting his hand run through his blonde hair, as to prove a point. "I don't need that and i have no interest in that."

He started roaming the room while you remained at the center of it, composed and looking down, because that's what a servant is supposed to do when a royal member is speaking.

"I want something more... genuine," he continued. "A friend, a funny one if possible but i can always make up for both if that were not the case."

You didn't say anything, confused about the whole conversation. The idea that it was all a test of the queen roamed your mind so you preferred to not say anything.

You heard his footsteps approaching you until he was right in front of you. He lifted your chin so that you were looking at him and found him with his eyebrows corrugated, a small smile on his lips. "That's exactly what i don't want. I like talking to people and if the people only listen and don't answer, my ego just gets too big." He paused a moment, his smile widening. "And that's a problem, some would say."

You still didn't utter a word but at least now you were looking at him. He let a sigh escape his lips as he distanced himself from you and you finally felt like you could breathe again.

You grasped every ounce of courage you had and hoped it was not a test. "I was just wondering how desperate one must be to want a servant to be their friend."

You immediately regretted your words, but Nikolai seemed to love it. He turned around with the biggest grin on his face, running towards you to grasp your shoulders and shake you, maybe a little too vigorously. "She speaks! And she's funny! Not more than me, but she's funny!"

Since then, you and Nikolai had been more friends, as he wanted, than prince and personal servant and yet you wanted more. It was already unreal to be so close to him despite your social status and yet you wanted more.

But you couldn't have that, and so you settled with what you had: a dubious friendship with the most handsome prince you'd ever seen.

It was getting late and, as always, you left your room to bid the prince goodnight. Normally, the queen would have at least a dozen more things for you to do before bed but Nikolai never asked anything of you if not to have a good night and wake up a little later than usual. You never did: you had to be there when he woke up because, after all, it was your job.

You closed the door behind you and went up to Nikolai's, knocking twice. It took slightly longer than usual for him to open it, which never happened, but the state in which he was in solved all your doubts: in front of you was your prince, an immaculate bathrobe the only thing separating you from seeing what you hadn't already peeked at.

You immediately averted your eyes, looking down, but the image was engraved in your mind: his blond hair slightly wet and clinging to his forehead, beads of water stubbornly stuck to his skin, running down to meet the white fabric and end their run. In all the time you'd worked for Nikolai, you'd never seen him in that divine state and now you didn't know how to act.

Words escaped you, leaving you a mess in front of the prince, not even able to look him in the eye. You couldn't tell if it was respect because you'd already seen too much or shame because you would have loved to see more.

"You caught me in the middle of a shower, Y/n," he said, so non-chalantly, as if he hadn't just destroyed your ability to speak normally ever again. "Hope i don't look too handsome for you."

You opened your mouth to speak, even just a word to show him and yourself that you could, in fact, still formulate a sentence, but nothing. It wasn't until he let out a small chuckle that you found the strength to talk back, only to just shut his mouth and tone down his ego. "Don't worry about that, i was just coming to ask if you needed anything, before i go to bed."

"As always, you can go," he spoke. "Actually, there is one thing."

You couldn't resist anymore and lifted your head to look him in the eyes, letting your own scan his half covered body once more. You nodded your head, only once, brief and quick because you didn't trust your voice that much.

"I was wondering that maybe," he trailed off, looking away. It wasn't like Nikolai to look so vulnerable when speaking, to look almost afraid to finish the sentence. He was always too eager, if anything. "Forget it, it's late, i should let you go to sleep."

"No!" You responded, a little too fervently. "Anything i can help with."

He looked right into your eyes, so honest you'd never seen him like that. You swore that if only you'd wanted you could have read his entire soul right then and there, but it felt too personal, too intimate to look at him like that. To have him look at you like that.

"I was just thinking that maybe you could come inside."

Your eyes must have doubled in size because he immediately felt the need to explain himself further. "I don't know if you've noticed, but a servant is the last thing that i wanted and from the moment i met you i knew a friendship would've been impossible too."

"Why?" Was the only thing you managed to ask. You couldn't believe your eyes, your ears, your whole body. You couldn't believe Nikolai, your prince, was telling you exactly what you'd wanted to hear in such a long time.

"Because i found out it can be quite challenging to be just friends with someone you love." He declared and you knew he was honest: no mockery was concealed in his tone. He flashed you an infamous Nikolai smile. "That is if you love me too because if you don't, forget about it. Just forget i just declared my love to you with a bathrobe on my threshold. That would be ridiculous, right?"

"Right," you said, letting a giggle escape your lips. You looked down a brief moment then back up at him, resolution settled in your body. "Nikolai, i-"

You stopped, your face darkening. What would have everyone thought? What would happen if people, if the queen saw the two of you together? You looked down again. "Moi tsarevich, that would be unprofessional, what would the queen think and-"

He closed the distance between the two of you, gently wrapping his hand around your neck and pulling you in for a kiss. You could have stopped him at any moment. Anyone could have seen you as you let yourself melt into his embrace, as you let your fingers spread on the plain of his chest, as you let his tongue roam past your lips. You could have told him you wanted to change positions, to work for the queen again, to change job completely.

But you didn't. All you wanted was Nikolai's lips, Nikolai's embrace, Nikolai's hands all over your body. All you wanted and always wanted was him.

The queen and all the opinions people could have formed about you disappeared as he brought you closer to him, inside his room.

He grasped the door but before he could close it, he interrupted the kiss, holding your chin in his hand as he locked eyes with you. "I promise you one thing, lovely: you will never be just a servant again."

He kissed you again, this once soft. A kiss that contained a thousand words and even more emotions, and yet he chose to voice what was already clear from his lips: "I will make you my wife."

nikolai taglist - @henqtic @wh0re4blaise @sanctimoniousslytherpuff @maybesandohnos @youreso-golden @beforeoursunsets @o-rion-sta-r @mollysolo @dlmmdl @chaoticgirl04 @badass-yn @peachybaes @dracomalfoys-wh0re @dreamcxtcherr @gwlvr @aleksanderwh0r3 @antideppresants @miraclesoflove @tartheanmaid @amourslover @i-love-scott-mccall @just-wordsandthoughts @onyourgoddamnleft @im-constantly-fangirling-backup @if-only-i-was-fictional @s1xthirty

[if you don't want to be tagged anymore, tell me!]

#nikolai lantsov #nikolai lantsov x reader #nikolai lantsov x you #nikolai lantsov x y/n #nikolai x reader #nikolai x y/n #nikolai x you #grishaverse #shadow and bone #fanfiction #fanfic #fluff

[scarletta-ruan]

helloo, how are you? hope you're doing good! could you do a scenario with sigma, nikolai, fyodor and jouno where reader haves a mental breakdown in front of them??? you can choose the motive!

anyways, take care! i love requesting here, you're so kind and your writing is perfect 😭😭😭

SIGMA, NIKOLAI, FYODOR AND JOUNO WITH HIS SOMEONE HAS MENTAL BREAKDOWN

WARNING: OOC, mention of suicidal thought, reader is trying to against the mental breakdown, character is going to comfort them, soft!character

TYPE: Scenario

PAIRING: Sigma || Nikolai Gogol || Fyodor Dostoevsky || Saigiku Jouno x fem!reader

WORDCOUNTS: 0.9+ words

NOTES: Oh, and you too are also precious since you love putting request here. I hope that I would have more and more works for you to enjoy in the future. And your request is finally here.

1. Sigma

Sigma paid his attention to you when he heard you let out a long sigh again, just a few hours had passed and you gave him some signs that you weren’t in a good mood. This did hurt his heart for a bit, because he couldn’t stand your sadness. That was when Sigma approached the couch where you were sitting. Like normal, you just leaned on his shoulder and let out another sigh. Sigma wasn’t feeling good now, his mind came up with lots of questions when you showed off this side of yours.

“Is there anything… okay to you?”

“I’m just… not feeling good, you know.”

You chuckled bitterly, and when your eyes faced him Sigma saw a gleam of darkness was hiding deep in your eyes. So dark, so alone, even so… empty. Then again, you buried your face into your palms and groaned.

“Everythings is just too much for me. And I… am too tired for everything. I think I should-”

I think I should die. You couldn’t say those words out loud even if you wanted to, but when somebody faced their loved one they wouldn’t have any courage to show that person the weakness they had been carrying in their heart. Suddenly, you felt someone’s warmth surrounding your body. When you lifted your head up, Sigma slowly pulled you closer to him, he let your ear close to his heart.

So gentle, so warm, so precious, you thought all of this was too much, Sigma was always there when you needed some help. His arms around you felt more tight, then he whispered.

“Don’t… Don’t say that. It is too much for you, right? Then, will you take a breath in my arms?”

The heartbeat resounded in your ears just like a song, gentle and full of worry. You felt like yourself just like a small child weaving for their parents' love. He just soothed you down by letting you lean on him like this, he was too precious for you now.

2. Nikolai Gogol

You were sitting alone in the empty room. How many times did you lift your head up, looked around then buried it again? You didn’t get it at all, being mental breakdown stole away almost all the happiness in your life. You heard a rustling sound resounding near you, and as you lifted your head one more time, you saw a hand appear from the portal.

It was waving at you like it wanted to say hello. A moment later it pulled out a bunch of flowers and you heard someone was giggling at the door. There stood a young man with white hair, his mismatched beautiful eyes looked at you while still giggling. 

He then approached you who were sitting alone in the corner of the room a moment ago. He picked you up with his arms, when you were surprised he put a lot of kisses on your face. You shyly asked.

“W-What’s wrong, Kolya?”

“Huh, nothing. I just saw you were sad a moment ago when I entered the house, so… I thought you might be happy again when I kiss you.”

Nikolai replied without any hesitation. When you were lost in his mismatched eyes, Nikolai’s chuckles pulled you back to reality. And he quickly escaped the room with you in his arms, it seemed like he was going to pull you in another surprise just to cheer you up.

3. Fyodor Dostoevsky

Fyodor had been paying attention to the figure which was sitting on the couch an hour ago, he had no idea what you were doing now. But through the way you acted, he might guess you were having a bad time. He slowly put the tea pot and some cups of tea on the tray, by that way he could easily bring it up to you.

By the time Fyodor put the tray on the table in front of the couch, he finally saw your face. Eyes were full of tears and your hands were trying to wipe it all away but when you saw a pair of violet eyes were looking at you. You hid your face away from him, Fyodor let out a long sigh when he saw this.

A moment later, you felt his cold slender arms wrapped around your body. Fyodor was trying to hug you tightly in his arms.

“Wh-What-”

“Sh, just keep quiet. Rest, my dear. Just rest.”

He said, his other hand gently patted your back like he was comforting a child. You then naturally leaned on his touch, when you closed your eyes, Fyodor was humming a song beside your ears.

4. Saigiku Jouno

“There, do you want something else?”

Jouno said as he put the cup down on the table in front of your eyes. He was always gentle like this, though his eyes weren't able to see your face, but still himself was sharp enough to know what you were needing.

And since he was sharp enough to know about others' feelings through their heartbeat, Jouno always got his way to know that you were alright or not. He already knew that you were too tired and in a bad mood. 

“I had just made you some hot cocoa, it may help you to feel better.”

You slowly picked up the cup on the table and took a sip. The sweetness of the drink went through your throat, the warmth made you feel better than just an hour ago. 

“Is it good to help you feel better?”

Jouno asked again, this man he knew it clear like the back of his hand but still he always asked. You smiled at him and replied.

“Much better than now, Sai.”

He also gave you a familiar smile as he put a kiss on your forehead then hugged you tightly and said.

“Yeah, just don't push yourself too much next time. Remember that I still got you, okay?”

#bsd x reader #bsd x female reader #bsd x you #sigma x you #sigma x reader #nikolai gogol x you #nikolai gogol x reader #nikolai x reader #jouno x you #jouno x reader #jouno saigiku x reader #fyodor dostoevsky x reader #fyodor x you #fyodor x reader

[euphoniumpets]

All of the girls you loved before | Nikolai Lantsov x Rietveld! Reader

Summary: You never thought falling in love with the captain of hummingbird, yet alone the prince of Ravka.

Pairing: Nikolai Lantsov x Rietveld! Reader

A/N: i missed writing one-shots of my favorite characters and this came up my mind since i'm a sucker for the reader being Kaz's sister and something about taylor swift song send me feelings about this one.

Warnings: pure fluff, just some slight ptsd.

old masterlist | navi | new masterlist

Of all the plans you conjured over the years, this had to be, by far, the morst risky, inconvenient, fragile, stupid plan yet. Maybe you'd been a little vague from the moment you saw the private ship and decided to board on it when you left Ketterdam.

You'd always wanted to venture out into the world, seeing the possiblities and what's out there, unlike your brother, Kaz Brekker. When Jordie died, you two were never the same. You succumbed into the darkness and you tried everything in your power to survive of the cold streets of Ketterdam.

You swore that day to yourself that you would not be there again, trying to figure out on how to survive. Because that's what you two did, despite seeking out the vengance you longed for, you longed for the freedom.

Leaving Ketterdam was the hardest part since you would not have your brother next to you at all times. Kaz had been at your side ever since Jordie died, not letting go of you since he was afraid that the same thing would happen to you.

But you assured him that you would be fine and that you would send letters when you had time to assure him that you was alive and well. Inej and Jesper was sad that little Brekker was going out and you wished that Inej could be there with you, but some day when someone didn't owe her, you would tell her about the adventures and someday, the two of you would venture out in the world together.

Jesper had handed you guns that he had bought in order to ''keep you safe''. Although, you didn't want to admit it, but the guns were pretty useful and you understood why know he had the passion for his guns since he would always talk about them.

And so you did say goodbye to the city who caused you harm and ventured out in the world. With your ability to blend in with your Ravka accent and your clothing, you got on board with no trouble at all.

You got settled in quickly by the crew at the Hummingbird, and Sturmhond, the captain was kind enough to lend you a room. Tamar was the only one who ever questioned your background over the years, but you kept quiet about it.

Of course, Sturmhond knew your story was patchy, but he also understood running from your past was better than anyone. The relationship between you and Sturmhond started suddenly, nobody saw it coming, including the two of you. He didn't see coming the ability to shamelessly flirt with you, or when his heart would jump whenever you was near him.

Despite when Alina Starkov and Mal had arrived at the hummingbird was the recognition in their eyes when they knew that you was there. Being the great friends that the three of you were, they didn't say anything.

You were glad that they decided to keep their mouth shut, and in return, you helped them to find the Sea Whip along with Sturmhond. You and Alina talked about there was something about your captain that the two of you couldn't put the finger on it, but you never discussed it further.

Then the groups were splitting up, and it was only you and Sturmhond in the room. The plan was discussed in detail, turning over and over. He knew that you were intelligent, and you knew that he was lying to you. Maybe a little to intelligent for your liking, but that's what you had been when you and your brother would plan the heist together.

''There's just one thing, before we join hands and whatever we do, I want to know exactly who i'm running with,'' Sturmhond replied and looked up from the map. You looked at him with an amused expression.

''Who are you really?'' He asked.

''I should ask you the same,'' You replied and crossed your arms. Your eyes narrowed at your captain. ''I see,'' He replied before closing the door.

''Nikolai Lantsov,'' He spoke, waiting for your reaction. It didn't came a surprise to you, knowing that he struck a deal with Jesper and Kaz when they returned back to Ketterdam. ''Y/N Brekker, I figure out that you're the one who struck a deal with my brother,'' You responded.

''Indeed,'' He responded. ''Now, why are you here?'' He asked and went back to his position. ''I already told you from the beginning,'' You rolled your eyes. ''And I guess your answer still stays the same?'' He asked.

''Yes?'' You replied, although, your answer sounded more as a question.

''So, how much does this change?'' You frowned. ''About us,'' He explained.

''Nothing,'' You answered and you saw him approaching closer to you.

''Really?'' He asked and you felt him coming closer to your body. You froze and didn't dare to move.

''Really,'' You answered. You looked up from the ground, meeting his hazel brown eyes. You took a deep breath, preparing for the feeling of drowning. It had always been like that after Jordie died, you couldn't stand other people's touch, just like Kaz had been with others. It made you feel drownsy, like you couldn't breathe as the water suffocated your lungs while you tried to catch your breath.

But some people were able to pull you out and some people were Nikolai and suddenly, you didn't felt like drowning, but instead, floating around with peace.

#kaz brekker x sister reader #nikolai lantsov x reader #nikolai lantsov #alina starkov #malyen oretsev #jesper fahey #inej gafha #nikolai lantsov x brekker reader #nikolai lantsov x rietveld reder #shadow and bone

[cerise-on-top]

Fluff alphabet for Nikolai? You’re one of the few who write for him and he’s my favorite character! Thank you so much!!

Hey there! Really? There aren't many people who write for him? That's such a shame, he's literally such a cool character and I adore him so much! Also, sorry I wrote this relatively late, but life got inbetween! But I wrote it now!

Fluff Alphabet for Nikolai

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

If it was up to him, then you’d be spending most of your days at home, within the safety of your walls. However, he loves doing whatever it is you love. You wanna go on a hike? You wanna have a boxing match with him? You wanna start a book club? Everything is game for him as long as you’re down for it, or make the suggestion. He is the adaptable sort of person who can do just about anything, especially if he gets to spend time with you and make you happy.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

The fact that you can stay with someone like him. Nikolai can be a very cocky man, he doesn’t particularly hide his occasional cruelty either. Sure, he is calm and collected as well, but he could see why you would want to leave him for someone more “proper”. You could likely get anyone in the world, and yet you decide to stay with him? He, who has killed the guilty and innocent alike? Who makes fun of the police whenever he can? It takes a special kind of crazy to want to be with someone like that. He can appreciate that. 

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

Since one of his abilities is that he can stay calm under any circumstance, he would likely calmly talk to you, try to talk some sense into you as well. His voice can be rather calm too when he wants it to be. He’ll be your voice of reason while getting you away from whatever may be upsetting you, shielding you from onlookers. When you’re sad he’ll offer some advice, or maybe some distraction, whichever you say you need more at the moment. His advice is actually pretty solid too, he’s been through a lot and isn’t the youngest anymore either.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

He has a small country house in the middle of nowhere in Russia, and he’d love living there with you. No more soldier or mercenary business, just you and him living together there, disturbed by no one aside from the occasional bird chirping here and there. He’d chop the wood while you make him a lovely pie. It doesn’t need to be fancy, as long as he gets to spend his future with you, winding down from all the adrenaline he gets on a regular basis, he’s happy.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

Surprisingly, he tends to be more passive in the relationship. Though, he could go either way, but normally he just goes along with whatever it is you want. Sure, he can and will flirt with you occasionally, and if you’re on the more passive side then he’ll take charge, but other than that he just goes with the flow and lets you decide. If you can’t decide for whatever reason, then he will. But whatever makes you happiest he’ll do.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

He would never raise his voice at you. It’s very hard to anger him in general, he usually believes he’s in the right anyway, which he usually is. He’s calm and collected at all times, but will be more factual with everything when he’s starting to get annoyed with you. However, he easily forgives, regardless of whether you apologize or not. Your relationship isn’t so weak that something like this should make it falter.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

Generally speaking, he knows what is and isn’t a given, and he knows to appreciate the things that aren’t. So yeah, he’s a pretty grateful man, even if it doesn’t seem like he’d show it very often. Nikolai knows that you cleaning the house from top to bottom, you cooking him a meal and giving him all the love he deserves and so much more isn’t a given, so he likes to show his gratitude through the small things, such as making sure to take in every new detail about you and always complimenting you, getting you the occasional gift as well. Something small but meaningful.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

He runs a PMC, so naturally there are things he can’t tell you about. However, he does believe that secrecy kills a relationship. If it’s something he can talk about, he will. Although he won’t go into detail about how he tortured that man, he will give you constructive criticism on how you can improve your knitting. He’s not one for lying, you deserve to know just about everything. Isn’t the most open about his past, though.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

I think Nikolai changed the most during his youth, so likely long before he met you. By the time you met he had already become who he is today. I don’t think anyone or anything could change him that significantly anymore, unless something truly terrible happened. He knows to take care of himself. However, I feel as though he could have become a bit kinder as a result of meeting you.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

He has faith in you to not leave him. Sure, he gets his spurts of jealousy, but he’s an adult, he doesn’t really act on it all that much. The only thing he really does when he’s jealous is talk over the other person to try and get your attention. He deals with it by either walking away from the situation or trying to get you away from the other person if he can. Again, he trusts you to not stray from him.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

He’s an attractive man, he likely had his fair share of lovers throughout his life, meaning he’s kissed plenty of times. When he was younger, he wasn’t a very good kisser, but he learned to adapt to the likes and dislikes of people. He could likely satisfy just about anyone with a few kisses these days. However, your first kiss with him would have beena a gentle one. He loved you even back then and was afraid of intimidating you. It was short, it was gentle, it was sweet.

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

It wouldn’t be anything too fancy. He’d get you flowers, some chocolate or other sweets you like and invite you to a lake or something. And then he’d confess his feelings to you in a casual manner and ask you if you want to be with him. If you had said no then he would have made the offer of staying friends, at the very least.

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

On the one hand, he does want to get married, on the other he doesn’t want to subject you to all the danger he’s usually part of. I think it would take him an eternity to propose and then it would be something simple as well. He’d test the waters by asking you if you want to marry him first, the ring comes later. Not much changes when you’re married to him. It still feels rather casual, but there’s always the fact you’re bound by your vows now. He’ll make it his goal to relive his honeymoon with you by going on a vacation with you every once in a while.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

Милый/милая (my dear, darling), Любимый/любимая (loved one) and Солнышко (sunshine) are his go to. He’s not overly creative, but he sometimes also calls you by the names of cute little animals. Again, he’s more casual when it comes to things like this. More often than not, he calls you by your name. However, he’s not above using terms of endearment in your native language as well. He knows eight languages, and if yours isn’t among them then he’ll simply learn it.

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

It’s not obvious at all when he’s in love. Sure, he likes to spend more time with you, but he won’t prioritize you when he’s busy. Sometimes he’ll give you an expensive gift. Knowing fully well you’ll want to repay him, he’ll simply ask for your company and that you’ll pay for the coffee on your little date. He knows how to get what he wants, and if he wants a small outing with you then he’ll get it. He doesn’t express his feelings freely at first, but he’ll call and text you more often to check up on you. That’s about it, he has his feelings in check otherwise.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

He doesn’t really brag about his relationship. He only really mentions you here and there in front of his closest friends. The entire world doesn’t need to know about you, so he keeps you to himself for the most part. However, he doesn’t really mind PDA all that much. Sure, he won’t really initiate it, but if you really wanna kiss him, then you can just go for it. Same if you just wanna cuddle up to him under his jacket. He doesn’t really mind that sort of thing.

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

The fact that he can stay cool under any circumstance. Even when you’re out to get on his nerves like no other he can stay almost completely neutral. It’s really hard to piss him off, and even then he thinks more rationally than he normally would. He really doesn’t let his emotions get the better of him when he’s in a negative situation. You’ll never have him yell at you, only tell you facts. He can also argue for you in case someone is being mean to you.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

He’s not really a romantic at heart. Sure, there’s the occasional gesture. He’ll gift you plushies, he’ll take you on a walk where you can watch the sunrise together, he’ll also cuddle you on the couch. However, he will also train you, he will take you to his shooting range, you will be sparring with him from time to time. Although it may not seem like much, that’s also another “romantic” aspect of his. He wants you to be able to defend yourself in an emergency, so he’ll make all of it seem more romantic than it really is. Will take you out for dinner, though. He can make some really mean pirozhki.

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

Naturally. He’s been through so much, he likely has some piece of advice for just about any situation. And even when he can’t give you any advice, he can help you out by either listening to your woes or by paying for whatever it is you need. He’ll always be there for you. Nikolai is a very loyal man once you’ve gotten on his good side. He would never let anyone he’s close with down, be it a friend or a lover. You can bet he’ll do just about anything for you.

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

It entirely depends on what you want. He can honestly go either way. Sure, he might not want to spice his love life up by committing a murder with you every day, even if he could, but maybe going on a vacation every once in a while would be nice. While he may be down to try almost everything at least once, he doesn’t mind staying stagnant in that regard either. It’s really up to you. However, he will make you eat certain new foods he thinks you might like. He’s a great cook, his meals are always top notch.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

He’s not a very empathetic person. Sure, he can usually tell what someone is thinking, but that doesn’t mean he cares enough about most people to feel what they’re feeling. Even in a relationship he isn’t the most emphatic person, he barely has any empathy for anyone. However, he can easily take notice of even the smallest of changes in your behavior and act accordingly. To him, life is more logical than anything else, not so much emotional. So he will act in accordance with the signs you give him and do whatever he has learned works for you. Either that or he will listen to his intuition. His intuition is great.

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

His relationship with you is on par with the friendship he has with Price and Laswell. He knows that you can’t live off of love and air your entire life, so he keeps close contact with both of them as well. While you could not bribe him out of the relationship if you tried, he does sometimes think about cutting ties with you to keep you safe. He wouldn’t go through with it, but he does value a lot of things in life. Any relationship is important to him, whether it be romantic or platonic. So yeah, you wanting him to cut ties with Price or Laswell would immediately raise a red flag with him. He wouldn’t give up either of them either, please understand that. 

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

He runs so very hot. Out of all the main characters, he has the highest body temperature. Nikolai is very comfortable to cuddle with in winter. He doesn’t mind cuddling with you either, if that’s what you want. But just so you know, he’s a tall man and could likely wrap himself around you almost entirely. He’s also very strong, so he could make you feel very protected as well. That’s one of his favorite things to do, making you feel safe and secure. The more you melt into him, the more you trust him to protect you, the better. He’s a nightmare to cuddle with in summer, though.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

On his own accord he’s kind of like a cat. He prefers to watch you and be in the same room as you to show affection. Once he’s figured out your style of affection, he’ll act in accordance to that. You wanna cuddle? Sure. You wanna be together in the same room? Naturally. You wanna be mushy together and exchange loving words? Yeah, he can do that too, even if he isn’t the most emotional person. Generally speaking, he likes kissing and cuddling, but he doesn’t need to be all over you all the time. The occasional kiss and cuddle is alright, but too much skin contact has the potential to annoy him.

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

Since he knows that being distracted on the battlefield could lead to him never seeing you again, he tends to not think about you. However, once he has some downtime he likes to replay some of the moments he shared with you. The time you accidentally hurt yourself breaking a mug as he patched you up or when you fell asleep in his arms, he thinks about those moments more often than he’d like to admit. He doesn’t really keep a memento of you, you’re not even on his phone’s background, but he remembers you well. Your smiles, your tears, the way you’d hug him so tightly when he’d come home. He just thinks about you and those thoughts lull him to sleep.

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if he has killed for you several times already. To answer the question, yes. He’s killed for you, he’s broken the law several times for you. He runs his own PMC, he could technically go to war for you as well. And he would if someone were to take you away from him. He could likely destroy a small nation for you. While he won’t do it if you ask him to, if someone were to kidnap you, he would not hesitate to fight for you. Your safety is a priority of his, so he will do what he can to make sure you’re by his side, forever and always.

#cod #cod x reader #cod nikolai #cod nikolai x reader #I think about Nikolai more often than I'd like to admit #I like to think he gives great dad hugs #I like to think about Nikolai giving me a big hug and some advice and some reassuring words #he's an older man he knows what he's talking about #I usually think about him when I'm sad and it heals me almost every time #sometimes all you need are some encouraging words from an older man who won't prey on you #same goes for Graves actually. Price too #sometimes all you need is some praise from an older man who knows what he's talking about #not many men fit that criterion though. but being praised is nice still. like hell yeah I'm doing well #I feel like Nikolai would make for such a great father figure #I love my father but I'd also love to have Nikolai as my father in all honesty #I'm also glad people are finally sending in more characters again #writing about the same three characters all the time is kind of rough #but yeah keep the requests coming. I'll get to them eventually

[raparopa]

could you do Tolya Yul-Bataar x Grisha!fem!reader

you walk around the ballroom, you simply trip that someone was holding your waist it was Tolya, you apologize, you seem so nervous to see him but he very kind to you, so you two talk and lots of chemistry together *fluffiness*

(hope you will write it, thanks and have a lovely day)

a/n: I continue the marathon

warnings: alcohol

pairing: Tolya Yul-Bataar x reader

lady tidemaker

I really love the balls that the Lantsov family has always arranged. It was one of the great advantages of friendship with Nikolai, when you can freely have fun and have a good time during noisy holidays; walk the golden halls and dance with the lords or other Grisha.

And tonight was great. Nikolai returned, he was no longer called Sturmhond, he brought with him the Sun Summoner and now we could not sit out in observatory, hiding from Vasily's tyranny.

I grabbed a glass of champagne from one table, looking at my reflection in the cloche, admiring how beautiful my blue and blue caftan looks in this gold madness. The drink was sweet in taste, with small bubbles and a fruity aroma. I greeted and nodded to the Grisha, chatted with Nadia, even got to know Alina better, who turned out to be a very nice girl; I even managed to exchange a few words with Nikolai and scold him for disappearing somewhere for so long and not even sending a message.

I was glad, calm and a little drunk on good champagne. But who cares, right?

I walked around the hall until some lady blocked my way with her huge, pink dress, the train of which trailed behind her like a peacock's tail. I tried to make a clever maneuver so as not to run into this (wonderful) woman, but my legs had already decided everything for me: the heel treacherously slid on the pink fabric of the hem, and I barely had time to squeak something and mentally prepare for the fall as ...

Nothing happened? The only thing I heard was a splash: the champagne from my glass was on the floor.

I could hardly exhale: someone held me by the arms so easily, as if I were a feather. When I opened my eyes, I saw no one in front of me, but the voice of my savior came from behind.

-Is everything all right, tidemaker? - they asked me with a sneer, returning to a vertical position. I awkwardly turned to look at my savior and realized that I was feeling bad and good at the same time.

Tolya Yul-Bataar.

Oh no. Oh no. OH NO NO NO. My heart skipped a beat and then pounded like a drum.

Of course I knew who it was. I saw him and his sister next to Nikolai when they arrived. But close he was... Saints...

-Yes, thank you,- I said, not knowing where to put my hands and an empty glass. He silently looked at me for a moment, and then his smile turned a little sad.

-You got scared? Your heart ... - he put his hand to his chest, on the side of his heart. I blinked incomprehensibly. - Beats harder, faster than before. Are you sure you're alright, torrential? -he said, looking at me worriedly. I wanted to answer him, but his words made me think for a moment, and then my lips stretched into a sly smile.

-Sounds like you've been following my heart all evening,- I teased. Tolya's face fell for a moment, and then he laughed, awkwardly rubbing his neck.

-Y/N. - I said, holding out my free hand to him.

-Tolya,- he answered, shaking my hand. He had strong, but surprisingly soft and light hands. -Very glad to meet you, Y/N.

- Mutually. - I smiled. Why are my cheeks and ears burning so insanely?! - How do you like the evening?

Tolya shrugged.

-Now she has become much more charming Y/N. Even the appetizers are not so terrible. And the champagne is quite good.

I giggled at his words.

- Champagne is excellent. - I answered, twirling an empty glass in my hand. - It's a pity that now the floor will enjoy it, and not me. Thanks to that beautiful lady in the wonderful pink dress. I nodded my head at the culprit of our acquaintance, who now flickered at the other end of the hall.

Tolya laughed heartily.

Saints, are all heartrenders so adorable?

-I think the champagne problem is easy to fix. Unless, of course, the lady will allow me? - He bowed theatrically to me, winking playfully.

-ABOUT! Please! - I waved away embarrassedly. - I'm not a lady at all. Not at all. I doubt that Grisha can even be called a lady. - I justified myself, which undoubtedly amused Tolya again.

-Still, will you allow me to supply you with champagne again?

- How much help in one evening, Tolya.

-I like to help people. Especially so charming. Lady tidemaker.

#shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone season two #shadow and bone #tolya yul bataar #tolya yul bataar x reader

[ask-missparker]

I remember you said don't leave me here alone / OUAT AU Series

Pairings: Amelia x Nikolai, Ethan x Liane, Rick x Liane

Friendship: Belladonna St. James & Joshua C. Nolan 

Extra Characters: Erik, Cassie, Alexander and etc 

-> Special appearance: Introducing Meira as Merida/The Mad Hatter, played by Billie Eilish

Summary: A dark glimmer of hope come in doses, even if it feels like everything is stuck in time. Sometimes you need a push in the right direction..

Warning: Angsty, with some fluff. Some violence here and there.

Note: Inspired by the episode Hat Tricks. And yes, Cherik is canon in every universe hush!

-----

He woke up with his hands tied behind his back. 

His ears were ringing, his head hurt worse than the time he finished that English paper for Charles that weekend, and felt a gash on his forehead. He hissed sucking in his breath recognizing one of his lower lip as well. He blinked as it felt like was drugged, as the last thing he remembered was searching for clues on a small upcoming case he had about the stormy woods and the town folks who went camping up there. It was stupid really but he took the chance to clear his head and figure out the next move. 

Now he’s stuck in what seems to be a basement. 

He was laying on his back, flipping to the side noticing his backpack on the ground a few away from him. He tried inching over huffing and grunting, feeling he must’ve broke a bone during the fall to the floor. 

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

He hissed as his gaze fell onto a pair of black boots following upwards to face the mayor’s wondering grin. As if he wanted to put together a puzzle but didn’t have the right pieces yet. The boy glared in response trying to wiggle free of the ropes behind his back. 

“Wh..” He muttered.

“Oh? Too shocked to speak. Don’t worry I wouldn’t drug my nephew, I mean, I could. But it wouldn’t put on a good impression, would it?” He responded.

“..wh—what do you want from me..” He muttered trying to clear his throat.

“Aw my darling nephew wants answer. See, I hope what I’m about to say finds you in good heath, and in a prosperous enough position to put wealth. In the pockets of men like me who might be down on their luck..you see, that was the darkness in this town you decide to pluck.”

“..you can’t afford to be afraid..”

“Wise words coming from a child.”

It was as if Joshua could see right into his heart. The sadness, jealously and darkness that filled within. It was black, with gushed of red. As if he was lonely and felt underrated against his brother, that his darkness was just a craving of harsh lies he puts himself to sleep with. 

Joshua has learned from a long time ago, evil isn’t born. It’s made. The world was cruel, it was your choice to be a hero or a villain in their history. You pick the card and decide how to spin it over it’s head.

Maybe there was a slight bit of hope within that thick wall Alexander hides behind. His thirst for powerful, was a thirst to be seen as an equal, to be as loved and appealing as the others are. Then again, it was just wishful thinking. 

“I..is this how you hurt my father?” He asked. 

Alexander was pacing around the room then paused not expecting those words to come from him. He took a moment to regain himself as he replied, “You know about that?”

“I heard a thing or two..I’m not going to try and dismiss what you did—what your doing is wrong. Because it is. You have people in this town locked under your finger..but at what cost?”

“..you don’t know everything, Mr. Nolan.”

“I don’t need to..i’ve seen men like you who took care of me before..they do it for the money, for the status, to be seen as something they are not..just to fill the void..”

Alexander gaze fell onto his nephew this time. It was as if those dark blue-green pierced right into his soul, swirling around waiting for an answer. This kid was smart, he’ll give him that much. He saw nothing but kindness and heartbreak behind those eyes, yet a determination that can slice an apple he has in his backyard waiting to be used on anyone for that matter. It was nothing like his brother nor his mother, but his own self. 

This child as been across some things, it was hard to tell if he was bluffing or not. As if he was telling the truth, a honest threat waiting to be fired. It was he like see a lot more, like he was sure he will be fine by the end of the day.

He scoffed, “There’s not void, child. You just stumbled into my town and think just because you fixed a few things, you did some good. Sorry to break your glass, but you are nothing. And you will rot in here til something worse happens.”

“You think I’m afraid of you..you afraid that your little town will see right through your lies and come after you? So you lock me up, cause some chaos and spin the bottle..clever..very, very clever..” He replied looking down. 

“You really think you’re safe? That your precious little friends and roommate will come find you?”

“…”

“That’s what I thought. Here’s the thing Joshua, your a pathetic exsume for a son, a lousy street kid who has no right to be living in your condition and someone who will never know the truth about himself. But I can ease your thoughts.”

“Hmm..”

“You’re parents, they were nothing. One was a lousy young lady with no right for royal status and the other a weak lad on the run from everything because he was too afraid to face the true. Everyone in this town has their agendas, and your just another spec in the dust of voices here.”

He watched the young man look down, not saying a word seeing a flicker in his eyes trying to not go out and lose that hope. However all Alexander could think was the way Joshua’s eyes pierced into his soul seeing the cracks behind his very own eyes. 

As if the boy’s eyes said, ‘your soul may be dark as the pitch black night but there a dose of kindness within than he ever gave credit for.’ It made him sick to his stomach that—that his face spoke more than a thousand words. 

It reminded him of his mother before his brother was ever born, believing that there was good in the world and a light inside him despite that darkness that converted him into who he is today. That he had the strength yet vulnerability to stand up to him in the mists of pain made him want to congratulate him, but it was merely pathetic he believed one little thought of confidence could make him turn a leaf.

But then again, he didn’t want to kill the boy. There was no part of him thrust himself into the idea of harming in could led to death, he still wanted him alive and decently well..maybe there was a small inch within him that made him think twice before his actions…

He was brought out of his thoughts as Joshua spoke up, “..what? After me, who’s next on your agenda of victims?..I just feel sorry for you, mister mayor, thinking this will fill that void within..”

He didn’t speak, only slapped his face to keep him quiet. He didn’t need his voice ringing in his ears for the rest of the day, he had more important things to attend to.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The doors the station were slammed open, as the soft sounds of grunts and huffing could be heard followed by the whispers of the man in charge. He threw the man into the cell and locked it as he turned around. Nik stepped over as his hands gripped the bars of the cell he was placed into, his face showcased a mix of tiredness and worry. 

“I’m telling you, I have no idea where he went! Erik you have to believe me, I haven’t seen in him 24 hours..no calls, no text..I didn’t do anything to him.” He said, banging his against the bar.

Erik stood there with his arms crossed, “Are you sure? How could I know you didn’t drive him away or worse, dragged somewhere deep within the town line, Mr. Hawkins.”

“Do you really think I would harm the kid I have been taking care of for a while now? I have done nothing but provided him a home!”

“Where was he last?”

“..last time I checked he was going to get some air, said he had a small case he wanted to solve. I advised him to stay home but he promised he would be safe.”

“And you let a teen boy go thinking he wasn’t going to lie to your face and go to some house party?”

“Oh please, Erik, he isn’t that type of kid! He went to the campsites in search of something..please, just let me go.”

Erik walked back to his desk, starting to fill out some paperwork for the man muttering, “Not until I have evidence that you didn’t do it.”

Just then, Alexander rushed in with Ethan behind trying to stop him of entering. Ethan was barking a few words at the man, two accents fighting for a place within the room. Nik rolled his eyes, glaring at both.

Then he stopped, “If you want evidence, ask my brother. He clearly has something to do with this. Isn’t that right Alex?”

Alexander placed a hand over his chest fixing his collar and said, “And why I ever do such a thing? I got a call that my brother was in jail, I had to see what’s the matter.”

“Since when do you care?! You couldn’t care less if I was hit by a bus!”

“Watch your tone, clearly you never learn anything from me about manners. What did you do to get you in this mess?”

“Nothing of the sort. What did you do to my kid?”

“You’re kid? Since when did you have the legal right to call him yours?”

“Not the time. Where is he? I know you did something, you could never keep your hands to yourself.”

“With that tone, I might as well not bail you out.”

“What. Did. You. Do. To. My. Kid?” 

“Nothing, I didn’t even know about this until now. But whatever you did to your kid, must’ve driven him away or worse, he’s probably being held hostage somewhere by one of your friends.”

“Bullshit..”

Alexander put down 20 bucks on the desk before walking out, smirking at Ethan who just glared blocking him from his path. 

“Why are you not letting me leave? You think I have something to do with this?” Alex asked.

“Well, you always magically show up whenever it’s often than not convenient for you. First you show up when Ms. Spencer is awaken, then you appear when I’m taking a role in this town, even when Rochelle and Rick’s children are in a small crisis at school with Cole..you always show up. Matter of time when you come around again.” Ethan explained smirking, “What’s next for you?”

“Are you trying to threaten me, Mr. Long?”

“Depends, you see it as one?”

“Not at all.”

“Good. But mark my words, mister mayor, if you try something just as bad as this, I will come for you and your home.”

“I’ll like to see you try.”

With that the mayor walked out as Ethan marched right back into the station talking to Erik about the current events, glancing over at Nik every so often hoping the man listen to this words. Ethan wanted to come start a hunt for Joshua as quickly as possible within the towns and woods. He requested Rick, Cassie and Rochelle to come along knowing that the boy could be held anywhere. Erik was hesitating to bring anyone else into this search party but he knew they would need extract hands on deck, he was getting old more help would be better. 

Half an hour later, he came back with this requested people. Rick didn’t look very pleased to be here, as he refused to have any weapons on him during the hunt in the woods. Rochelle hummed deciding on a gun, taking a small area of the town to look for the kid promising to Nik he’s innocent here as the man just sighed. 

Cassie was quite analyzing the whole situation, knowing that Alex has done this to prove a point to pull them apart into separate groups for whenever his biggest heavy hitters came. However he remembered seeing Alexander’s body language shifted wondering if someone beside Liane or Bella told him off, but she couldn’t place her finger on it.

Erik stayed back, watching the four of them go as he stayed to question Nik for his innocence, he should be at home with his husband Charles, not here at work together. Yet, here he is. He offered the man something to eat or drink, but Nikolai couldn’t stomach anything at the moment. 

He sat down on the bench of the cell at dark worse case scenario filled his head, thinking horribly of himself for letting that kid go off that afternoon when he should’ve stopped him. He was considered his guardian at this point, not just a friend. He said it himself, ‘his kid’, he never said that before put the words felt familiar. 

He just hoped he wasn’t badly hurt, and he will forgive him..

~~~~~~~~~

Joshua was tired, cold and hungry. He was bleeding and bruised, but a part of him knew he had to stay awake. He tried sitting up properly against one of the walls, not even realizing that his feet were tied by some rope—oh how could this day get any worse?! His vision was slightly blurry as he looked over his shoulder to see a spec of light, crawling over to notice it was a window seeing trees, some snow and much more. 

He was still in the woods, but he didn’t know for long. Alexander was planning on keeping him here, to keep his shut and guard by god know. He replayed the conversation between the two of them over and over again, he noticed a shift in the man’s tone earlier, like he hit a nerve. He didn’t know but the man just barked threats at him afterwards then slapped him across the face before leaving.

He searched around for any broken glass, sharp objects of any thing, to break himself lose and make a run for it. Then suddenly opened the door, as down the stairs walked in a women. He could hear a possible other voice coming from the room across but it faint. His eyes fell on the lady once again, short pink hair, glasses and black overalls along with some pink boots to match. 

He recongized her from the record store, he barley talked to her very often but liked the vibes she gave off. He remembered hearing Riley’s tales of her father being Red Riding Hood and her mother being The Huntress, always pointing out the store’s kind lady. 

According to the tales, her name was Luna, the women who was sent to harm his father but couldn’t have the heart to do so and ran away unable to finish the job, meeting Rick afterwards. Joshua bit his lip worried she was going to live up to her promise and harm him instead. Luna placed a cup of tea in front of him, shyly waiting for him to drink it. 

Instead Joshua asked, “W-what are you going to do me? What’s in that?”

Luna gave him a innocent look shaking her head, “I only made you tea, you looked thirsty…I-i can make you s-something else.”

“No thank you..w-what is doing for you in exchange of keeping me held here..”

“..he-h-he is not doing anything..he, uh..”

“..let me go, please..”

“He told me he would give me a bonus upgrade on my store, allowing new shipments of video games…”

“I..”

“W-what? D-did I say something wrong? I won’t hurt you..I-i promise..”

“He is doing you a favor..but I am the one getting hurt here!”

“You will be fine, it’s only for a while..please drink up before it gets cold..I am sorry if I upset you, I um..”

Joshua looked down, a sadness and darkness filled his eyes, he didn’t know what to even respond with. It wasn’t her fault, she didn’t know any better and probably didn’t want to get hurt by the mayor, so she did the favor in efforts to save her skins. But he didn’t trust her that easily, even if he was thirsty. Josh pushed the tea away from him causing it to spill on the floor, as the small cup rolled around, Luna looked rather upset that he didn’t take her offer. She glared calling him ungrateful stepping back out the door, not before treating him a couple of threats. 

The door closed behind her as he sinked back into the corner he was placed into. He looked at his backpack that seemed open. He assumed someone must’ve tried to look inside, he crawled over to the using his legs to inch the bag over searching for something to help him. He found an old textbook from Charles’s English class and smirked using whatever strength he can, even his hand tied behind his back tossed it over the cup Luna placed on the ground as he sat on top of both items crushing it. He was surprised all the hours of watching TV payed off, using the shattered piece he tried to saw his way out of the ropes slowly starting to cut. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The group of four searched around separating into pairs of two to cover even ground. Rochelle looked around the town’s older buildings deciding on heading to the woods next as Cassie went asking around for any sighting of the boy, tracking the area for clues. Cass knew one thing for sure, one of the advantages of being securely awake from the curse, is that there are hidden part of the town that come into bloom during the mid winter—early spring. 

Certain flowers. 

Meanwhile Rick and Ethan decide to split up. Rick knew he was able to cover more ground by himself, it was as if he had an act for catching people red handed with just the mere scent of their tracks. His daughter liked to say it was because he was half wolf, sometimes he liked to believe that was true.

With that knowledge, he went searching around for clues of any kind, dried blood marks on the ground, items lefts aside, anything useful for his hunt. To his surprise, a certain young Latina tagged along wanting to help out, having her clear guesses on what might’ve happened and who could’ve taken him hostage. 

Ethan went lurking around the woods, driving in his car passing buses after buses, the foggy sight of the trees along the road didn’t help his vision almost knocking into someone. He stepped out to find a women with wild curls, a deep blue skirt, combat boots and a long ass coat catching her breath. He rushed over asking if she was alright, as the young women smiled with a shrug. Ethan questioned why she was in the woods as she said she going for a walk, the man just slowly nodded.

 She asked him, “What are you doing here?”

“I uh..” He replied looking for an lie, “..I was searching for my dog. He’s a runner.”

“Ohh I love dogs! What’s is name?”

“Uh, Portland.”

“Portland? No offense, sounds like they were trying to run away with a name like that.”

“Yeah well, it was the first thing that came to mind when I saw him.”

“You know look like you could see a refresher, I know the woods very well. I have a map at my place, we both look for him together afterward.”

Ethan thought for a moment, seeing how kind yet familiar this young women meant to him. He thought a little help couldn’t help, technically he was looking for someone. 

“Sure!” He added with a smile, “What’s your name by the way?”

“Meira.” She answered with a smile.”

“Ethan.”

“Nice to meet you, Ethan.” 

The two drove off into the woods, stepping into Meira’ grand old house that was lovely decorated with flowers, nice chairs, paintings on the wall and even a beauty of a piano in the living room. She even had a couple of telescopes. She said that her parents died leaving with such a nice estate she couldn’t help but make it her own. Ethan was amazed by her little world inside the home, feeling cozy inside. 

The two of them entered the kitchen as Meira pulled out a map and two cups of tea for them to drink out of. He joked if it was poison as she shook her head, pointing out the mapped sections within the woods. 

Everything was going fine, the two chatted as they drank. Feeling at ease in the conversation, circling spots on the map onto where ‘Portland’ could’ve gotten. Meira kindly excused  her to use the lady’s room as Ethan nodded for her to go right ahead. Once she left, he wondered around the hallways spitting his glass looking at the paintings of forests that didn’t look like any he’s seen before. He heard muffled sounds coming from the hallway as if Meira was on the phone with someone, he stepped into one of the rooms to find weapons.

Guns, bows and arrows, hats, throwing stars and much more. He slowly exit the room into the hallway, moving slowly. Suddenly, the sound of a gun cocking is heard turning around to meet Meira’s face who grinned.

“I see you found some new toys for Portland.” She said holding the gun to his face.

He raised an eyebrow, “I've already called for backup, they'll be here any second.” “You haven't called anybody... for the same reason you didn't tell me about your real plan. You don't want anybody to know you're here, which means nobody does.”

“Have you been watching me?”

“Maybe?”

“Your telescope. You've been watching me. Why?”

“I need you to do something for me…brother.” 

She gently shoves him into a room, telling him to sit down in the chair in front of her desk, he does as so. As Ethan sat down, he noticed the room filled with hats on display and telescope. He even noticed a small potted plant in the corner, Meira smirked hoping his eyes darted to the small flower. She would have to thank Cassie later for it. She explained to him the situation here, along with the curse. Ethan rolled his eyes at Meira. 

“Have you been reading Belladonna’s book?” Ethan asked.

Meira smirked, “Belladonna? You mean the Mal’s favorite hand maiden?"

“Belladonna’s, the Liane’s adopted kid.”

“Oh, Bella. Your Belladonna…and her book of stories, the ones that you choose to ignore. Maybe if you knew what I know, you wouldn’t.”

“Why have you been spying on me? Why did you call me ‘brother’? I don’t have a sister..”

“Yes you do. I’m your baby sister and Cole is your brother. You just don’t remember, cause you scared of the truth. Because for the last 16 years, I've been feeling stuck, day after day. Until one night, you, in your car, roll into town, and the clock ticks and things start to change. You seeI know what you refuse to acknowledge, Ethan. You're special. You brought something precious to the town—magic!”

“You’re insane.” 

“You say that. But we know you seek to know that town is a little crazy. You show know, you’ve been around crazy you’re whole life! The tattoo on your arm is a small symbol of it.” 

Ethan was silent, looking down at the tattoo on his arm, he was a feather. He didn’t remember getting it, alway assume it was due to a drunk night out with friends. Ever since he arrived, he felt strange around this town, the very fact that Cole decided to be nice to him surprised him, and now this. One look at Meira, he could tell she was onto something but he refused to acknowledge it like the rest of the damn town. She wanted him to look around and open his eyes, to wake up from whatever dream he has created his head. 

She wanted him to take a second to remember who he was, that he had magic, skills untapped that just doesn’t want to take back. Make her a hat. Muscle memories as one would call it. He barked back that she has enough already but she responded that known of them work. However he can make some, due to their being very few magical elements in the real world. 

He looked around briefly letting out a chuckle, “The hats, the tea, the bow and arrows…you’re somewhat psychotic behavior…you think you’re the Mad Hatter.”

She sighed with a smirk, “Yes, and I don’t think. I know. The name’s Merida, but some like to sweetly mistaken it as Meira.”

“You’ve clearly glommed onto my kid’s book. Well, the kid’s thing, but they are just stories. The Mad Hatter, he’s in-“

“She! She is supposed to be in Wonderland. But travels to other land that look just like this one, you should know. You’ve done it! You’re the Ace Of Hearts, The Knight of the realms..one of the plenty of Prince Charming’s around..”

“It’s all in a book! Stories that I’ve read in school, myself. I am no hero of those tales..they are hysterical stories.” 

She sat down on the desk in front of her, leaning in with an almost convincing smile as she said, “Stories? Right, just stories. Tales of many kind..and where do you think they come from? History books are based on a version of history. And storybooks are based on what, imagination? Where does that come from? It has to come from somewhere.”

“Mhm..yeah..” He responded staying quite listening to her rant as his gears started to turn. 

“That’s where we all come in! Every tale comes from somewhere, cue in our characters, from Nik being Prince Charming to Luna being the Huntress in his tale, simple really.”

“Simple? You want me to believe that?”

“You know what the issue is with this world? Everyone wants some magical solution to their problem, and everyone refuses to believe in magic. It’s not that hard, just open your mind.”

“Yeah, right open your mind..to this one reality!” 

At that, she barked back standing from her chair leaning into his face with a knowledge smile. He leaned back, a hint of fear washes over him. He heard everything she said but there was something he feared from it all.

That she was right.

“What are you so afraid of?! All of the evidence is slowly coming into light, right there in front of you! God, dad must’ve made you hit your head a little too hard when you escaped..” She exclaimed, her gaze following him sight, “What is holding you back?”

That made Ethan finally snapped as a glare reached his eyes as he snarled, “Of this! I’m afraid of this. You think I am such a worthy hero? A Knight from Wonderland? Prince Charming?! I don’t want that job back on my shoulders! I may not remember what you’re saying but you’re making hard to run back and stay in my perfectly safe mind.”

Meira smirked, “There it is!”

“You know what’s it like to be separated from your kid? It makes you lose your mind wondering if they are okay! I just got her back, I am not willing to lose her again..I can’t be this hero—your Prince Charming, I don’t want it. I ain’t hero..”

“One of the heroes..only some of us remember who we are, the others don’t. But the kids do! It’s time to wake up, Ethan. Grab your pals and break this damn curse.”

The two of them were standing at this point. Meira even showed him across the telescope the town, the homes, her brother and friends. She said that they don’t remember anything, her parents don’t remember who they are. She can’t tell them, which drives her mad. Drives everyone mad when you can’t be with the ones you love. Ethan nodded understanding her statement, how it can make you feel like you’re losing your mind sometimes. 

He shrugged saying it possibly a chance he believed, that she said was true. She smiled, as she turned around to pick up the hat, he picked up the telescope and strikes her with it, knocking her out cold. He muttered that she’s crazy, making sure she was alright as his gaze fell to a tattoo of a heart on her shoulder, before taking the gun and rushing out. He took one last glance at the flower, snatching up a knife from the kitchen before he left. 

As he rushed out of the house, racing across the woods he spotted a certain brunette running looking over his shoulder. He noticed it as Nik who explained he tipped Erik off while he was asleep. The clock chimed as the two men exchanged a look knowing they had something they needed to do soon before it got dark. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile Belladonna and Rick went scouting the woods in search of the missing person. Rick leaned into his older path, tracking the more natural way searching foe clues. Finding a piece of cloth and dark dry blood marks on the ground, gasping at the sight. As they were moving in closer, Belladonna went the more tech route linking Joshua’s phone to hers, tracking him there. There was a low signal that was rather faint, but it was there. 

Both of their radars went off, exchanging a couple of looks rushing off to the place where he must’ve gone. Rick stepped up the doorstep of the home banging on the door, getting a sense of nostalgia when it came to house. As if he knows it from somewhere. Like he’s been here before, but couldn’t place his finger on it. Belladonna noticed the small half smile on his lips as it seemed like a fragment of his mind was trying to tell him something but he had no idea what it was.

Funny how the mind work, huh?

There was ruffling sounds coming from the door, a heavy breath that could be heard loud and clear. As the door opened, dark brown eyes met the very blue of the blonde man who lowered his fist from the very door she opened. A connecting twinkle sparked between them, like a swirling look of acceptance and confusion at the circumstances. 

“Luna?” Muttered the blonde, nodding for Bella to follow him inside.

“I um..R-rick..wh-what are you d-doing here? Wh-who is she?” She repiled, looking worried and nervous on the two visitors, “Uh..you can’t come in..”

But it was too late. 

“Who is she? More like, who are you? And don’t play coy with me..” Belladonna asked eyeing the pink haired woman who looked petty and guilty in her eyes.

“I um..don’t know what you’re talking about.” Luna respond, looking between her and Rick, “I didn’t do anything, if that’s uh-what you’re thinking…”

“Likely story. Where is he? Where were you the last 24 hours?”

“I don’t know where you’r talking about..I um..I-i-i ww-was at h-home.”

Rick pinched the bridge of his nose and scoffed, “Luna, honey, I know you’re lying. What happened?”

Luna looked scared and more than guilty looking down, “..I-he m-made me do it..I was given a favor..f-for-for I can get a g-great deal o-on my at-store..it was a n-nice uh-thought…”   

Belladonna didn’t wait another second, hearing the couple talk in the room as she hurried into every room on the first and second floor of the small house. She could hear exact footsteps and voices coming their way upstairs. She assumed it was her father and the others. A couple of screams were heard.

She paused as her ears caught wind of the muffled screams coming from the basement as she let out a small gasped, opening the lock and hurried down to find her friend on the ground weakly trying to break free. She felt horrible, rushing over to step untie him starting with his hands that were tired behind his back. He dropped the glass of the class cup that sliced a corner of his hand as she heard tiny whimpers coming from him.

Joshua’s eyes were red and puffy from crying, his gaze was dark almost like they lost his light. He was quiet, almost numb but responsive which was a clear positive sign for her. She pushed some hair out of his face as his body flopped over to the ground as she shouted for him to stay awake. But he couldn’t he was tired, annoyed and hungry. 

She carefully led him upstairs calling for help up the steps, as thankfully Rick was there reaching for Joshua who weakly took his arms to hold onto. Belladonna blocked out his conversation with Luna as her only thought was on Josh’s health. 

As she led him out the door and into the front of the house down the steps across the woods, in a flash came her father and Nikolai turned up rushing to side. Both adults rushed to the exact child. Ethan held his daughter close, proud of her for today’s action, walking them back looking over at the others. Belladonna carried the backpack on one shoulder. Nikolai held Joshua’s close, running a hand across his face telling him to stay awake and they will be home soon enough. 

~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At the station, everyone was getting cleaned up. Erik talked to the adults, not pressing any charges on Nikolai for what happened, seeing a worried father take place in front of him. Rochelle was helping to gently clean Joshua’s wounds as he kept quiet. Ethan was nursing an wound that ended up on Belladonna’s body, despite her effort to tell him she was fine, he didn’t listen.   

“What happened back there?” Rochelle asked dabbing a cotton ball on his forehead as the boy hissed. 

Nikolai was wrapping his hand in a bandage, “..buddy, you need to tell us..”

Joshua was just silent, looking at Rick then Luna. But his gaze fell on Bella who locked eyes with him, as if to send a single signal to her onto what happened, who harmed him. She got what he meant and sighed. 

He inhaled and hissed, “..I was in the woods, searching on a clue on our new case with the sighting of wolves and more campers lately, I saw something in the road..when I was knocked out cold, I woke up in the basement..my backpack away from me, tied up as Bella saw..”

Nikolai didn’t know what came over him, pushing his hair out of his face being gentle with his wound concerned with his state wondering what was going inside his head. The light in his eyes flickers out like a old used flashlight, like the sun was coming down to rest as the night took over for him. He noticed Erik questioning Luna onto what happened, as Rick backed her up. Ethan was taking notes of what happened, as the wildness of the woods still played in his head. Rochelle chimed up with her insights on the townsfolk and the accident that might’ve led up to it.

He shook his head, deciding to take him home to rest at their loft instead, ignoring Ethan’s calls saying they will talk later. 

~~~~~

Once the two arrived home, Joshua lay down on the couch as Nikolai got some fruit to eat as he across from asking if he could open the backpack for him. The teen just nodded, watching him with blurry vision eating the long awaited food, humming at the taste of fresh blueberries and slices of mango entering his mouth. It felt better than expected. 

Later on, after a quick shower and now in cleaner clothes he found his father in the kitchen wiping up two grilled cheese sandwiches for dinner. He watched him with tense shoulder, as the man hummed in comfort clothes than the pair of jeans and hoodie he was wearing earlier. 

He knew he was waiting for him to talk about anything else that happened, as the teen just sighed and muttered, “..where were you?”

The older brunette paused from flipping the two slices of bread to look over his shoulder and reply, “Umm what?”

“I was gone for almost 24 hours and you were nowhere to be found..I was hoping you’ll be the one to find me..”

“Joshua..when you didn’t come I was worried, I called you phone plenty of time and you didn’t pick up. Next thing I know I was put behind bars at the sheriff’s station because they thought I did something to you..that I had something to do with your disappearance..”

“Wh..b-but yo-you escaped..I-i saw you!”

“I couldn’t any longer for bail or to be prove innocent to go after you, so I broke out of there! That’s what I came late to find you..I am so sorry..I should’ve listen to my gut and ran to search for you..”

“I needed you and you weren’t there..”

That caused Nik to turn around and face him. That words sting like a bee. He blinked hearing this words replay in his head over and over again like a drumbeat. He saw the look on his face that almost broke his heart. 

He looked down for a moment, shaking his head hating that he made him feel that way, the words sounded like it came from a different place. As if he broke the line. 

“Wh..what is that supposed to mean exactly? Josh, I haven’t said anything lately, but you’ve been holding something back ever since we started this whole thing..” Nik admitted crossing his arms, giving him a certain look, “What’s going on here? I can’t help you if you don’t tell me.”

“..um..you won’t get it.” Josh repiled, looking away for a moment, “..you won’t..”

“Try me. Go ahead.”

“Alright..you want the truth.”

Joshua took a breath and scoffed, “You let me go out that door last night, without a care in the world, because you thought you could trust me and look where it got me! I’m hurt because you’re brother decided to have me kidnapped because he knows if the truth gets out on what he plans to do with the town..he will be doomed.”

“I’mma stop you right there! Alexander kidnapped you and you didn’t expect to tell me this?! This is serious matter, Joshua I don’t care what his plan is, he harmed a kid. He tricked one of the townsfolk to keep you there.” Nikolai exclaimed with an anger in his stomach growing. “That’s my point! He wants to keep everyone locked up in this town for god knows what reason, cause he knows if everyone is happy he will have no power over us..I stayed quiet about this for weeks now I am not taking it anymore!”

“Alexander kidnapped you and harmed you in a way that shouldn’t be expected at any point. No kid should go though that..did he do anything else?” “I’ve been hit before at old homes, it seems like before I was knocked out cold I was fighting someone..but Alex, he just threaten me over and over again..he..he called me an orphan, a lost boy..that I will never know who I really am..I um..”

He started to get chocked up as he recounted all the bad things Alexander said to his face and all the things he told him. He was told stuff like this before, that he was a child. He’s got nothing to prove, nothing at all. Nikolai walked around the kitchen island setting in between the stools wrapping his arms around the teen, as running his fingers across his hair to smooth out his cries. He felt like a part of his way his fault, it was. He pressed a small kiss onto his hair and hummed trying to hush him as he listen to Joshua’s comments. He made a silent promise to himself to not let him feel that way again, not feel hurt or alone. 

Then he heard it. 

A small whimper that came from Joshua as he let go of his arms. He watched him go to his room, then come back with a blanket. A baby blanket with his name engraved in a font, on the side was a small little monkey. He handed it to Nikolai as he noticed the way he ran his fingers crossed the letters and the patch, he let out a small chuckle he knew his style of drawing better than the back of his hand. He took one glance at Joshua, trying to piece the words together. He noticed a old stuffed bear in his hands. 

He spoke, “Remember the stories I told you..the ones you would hear us talk about at the diner, how each one of us like to talk bullshit for the characters are real and how they are our parents..I believed in that because I wanted to hope there was a sign they were out there..then..”

“Then all of this happened..” He continued for him, taking it all home, “..you had theses ups and down your whole life..and I walked in. The hot chocolate, the artist in you, the fact that..your looks..I’m your..”

“Yeah..I might need an DNA test to prove it but..”

“Prince Charming..me? I have..how long have you this?”

“For a while now..I-i didn’t know how to tell you or bring it up..because I didn’t think, I couldn’t wrapped by head around it..”

He didn't know whether to believe it or not. He was sure, he wasn't from some fantasy world. But how do you react to the kid who has been staying with you, is now saying you might be their father?

Nikolai walked over placing a hand over his cheek as his thumb rubbed his cheekbone, not knowing where he got his eyes from but he does have his chin, eyebrows, and—well his face in general, for sure. A a quarter of his height for the added measure. But there part of him that he must’ve gotten from his mother..

“Who did I screw to make you?” Came out his question.

The concept of him being his son was still wild to him, he probably needed an DNA test and answers on who the mother was. He has been with a couple of women over the years, so he wonder who is was.

Why come now with the questions? But a part of him could only wonder what came next.

———-

Ahh I am so sorry if this was long! I hope you guys like it. I’ll love to see your comments and insights you might have. Any thoughts on things.

Click here to see what else was happening during all of this

Tags: @missstrawbs2001 @purpleprincessonfyre @meiramel @gcthvile @rickb-chaos @gaminggirlsstuff @wizzzardofoz @thechoooooosenone @luna-d-marsh @rooster-84 @thecavalrywife @cherrysft and etc

#ask missparker #marvel oc #ouat au #long fanfic #once upon a time au #once upon a time fanfiction #ouat fic #ouat rewatch #ouat s1 #ouat headcanons #hat trick #billie eilish #nikmia #danielle campbell #thomas doherty #ben barnes #fantasy au #fanfic series #ethan lensherr #best friends

[waldensblog]

Reading Ruin and Rising

So I have finished The Grisha Trilogy! Overall, I quite enjoyed the book series after watching the show, and I will continue on to the Six of Crows Duology and then the King of Scars Duology. Below the cut are my thoughts on the final book in the trilogy.

TL;DR:  -I liked how Alina grew more ruthless, really was full fledged. Her ending is tragic. -The Darkling basically won, and was taken down by his weakness: love. Still a Darklina stan, what a tragic romance they had.  -I like Nikolai overall, and his ending is likewise sad, as he now is possessed. Kind of Darkolai ending for him. I like Nikolina too. -Mal isn’t the literal worst the entire time, but I’m not a fan of him still. I think he was not a true amplifier but a curse to whatever Grisha killed him. His happy ending comes at the expense of literally everyone else’s and the good of Ravka. -Story is overall a tragedy. A good tragedy, but a tragedy nonetheless. 

Alina: Although she once again starts in a position of weakness, underground, recovering from the Chapel fight, I found myself loving the start. Alina’s developed into a morally grey and ruthless character, and I love this. She’s stuck with the apparat, but biding her time. 

Her tether scene with the Darkling shows how far she’s come. She reached out to him, which surprised him, and stroke his face, taunted him with their love story - hell yeah, it was a very strong start for me. 

When escaping the apparat, she almost kills (again), but only ends up branding someone. Again, loving this gray and ruthlessness, and all the inner thoughts about how very much like the Darkling she is becoming. 

Alina eventually meets back up with Nikolai and they’re at the Spinning Wheel, where she trains more with Baghra, and gets stronger and stronger. During the escape from the Spinning Wheel, she uses the cut to kill someone, for the first time. She is disgusted with herself in part because yeah splitting someone in 2 would be pretty gorey, but also because of how... easy it was, how good it felt. She knows she’s going down a dark path, and I personally love to see it - because it breaks the hero archetype, giving her more an anti-hero arc.

I’ll discuss the ending itself further below, because I have a lot of thoughts on that, but to keep it brief here: the end of Alina’s story is, to me, tragic. She’s a tragic hero to me. I overall like her character, though I definitely have gripes about her at times, mostly, the Mal addiction. 

The Darkling: My favourite still. The Darkling is to me an anti-villain - he does bad things for the right reasons. In another story, he may have been the anti-hero, not the one Ravka deserves perhaps, but the one Ravka needs (*Batman theme plays*).

The Darkling has basically won by the start of the story. He’s ruling Ravka, he can expand the Fold any way he wants, the King is on the run. He can ensure Grisha safety, stop the wars... he’s won. His weakness is what he always said: wanting, or more specifically: love. 

When his mother jumps off a cliff, it’s because she knows this. She knows he would go after her - try to stop her from dying. Alina feels him try to pull her into the tether afterwards, and can feel his overwhelming grief. She refuses the call, but she knows. And in the Fold, when Alina loses her power - she doesn’t need the tether to feel his grief. Her metaphorical death there was too much for him. It wasn’t only about loneliness, but love. He wanted to rule with her - he wanted to his soulmate by his side. He wanted a partner. He goes about it poorly - having learned cruelty and abuse from his mother, and never breaking the cycle.

It was clear to me that they loved each other deeply as much as they hated the fact. In the tether, when he kisses her neck as she’s against him, the attraction, the pull, is very strong. At the end, she’s crying as he dies, and he just looks at her and is happy to know at least someone will mourn him - that he was loved. 

I absolutely lose my mind about the fact that his body was burned alongside Ruby’s-disguised-to-look-like-Alina’s, because that was absolutely not for Ruby - who probably would not like that - it was not for him - because he probably wouldn’t like that either (though would be happy she respected his wish to burn the body) - it was certainly not for Ravka, who complained about it - this was for Alina. Alina asked for a Grisha effigy of herself to burn next to him. Her metaphorical funeral. Side by side. The immortal rulers of Ravka that could have been. As she watches this, she whispers his name in a sob. Dear.God. what a tragic lovers-to-enemies romance this is. I do wish there were more tether scenes, but I loved the ones we did get. 

Nikolai: Nikolai starts on the run, and without tether scenes, we don’t get to see him for quite a while. When he finally does show up, I cheer. Yey! Our pirate prince is back! I loved all the scenes with Alina, and found their chemistry intriguing. I do feel that they could have been happy together, King and Queen of Ravka - a Grisha Queen which may have helped bridge the gap between Grisha and otkazat'sya, even leading to a Grisha king if they had a son. Certainly, that’s what both Siege and Storm and Ruin and Rising were saying was supposed to happen. I would have accepted this end, even if it wouldn’t have been my favourite, because it would be a bit status quo-y. As good a King as Nikolai may be - a great one with Alina at his side, he is still ultimately a monarch, and a mortal man. His descendants may not been as good - we could hope, if they’re Grisha, that they would be. He would have died as Alina remained ageless, so this would still have a tragic end for her. I like Nikolina, but it’s still a second choice to me after Darklina.  I did have a pretty big gripe about Nikolai at the Spinning Wheel though: when it came to Genya. Sure, it’s great that he took her side, but his punishment to his father is so... what a slap on the wrist. Oh you abused this woman, well off to a warm retirement you go, I’m the King now, dad! To me, the fact that he didn’t stand trial kind of tells me the nobility will always get away with more under his rule than peasants would. He may not be the Worst, he may be a good and great king - but at the end of the day... a monarchy is still a monarchy. 

The Darkolai vibes here were great - fucked, but great. The Darkling saw Nikolai at the spinning wheel, Mal too - and could have a) killed one or both, b) infect them with nichevo’ya. He specifically targeted Nikolai for option b - instead of killing the King, instead of killing Mal or infecting him. Why? Jealousy because Alina showed interest in him? Because he never saw him during tether scenes and therefore knows Alina does have genuine feelings for him? Or because... secret option C? I mean the tendrils down the throat is bit... not-hetero. They both ultimately want the same things, and in another story, another life, they may have been allies. At the end, Nikolai is still ultimately scarred, and the shadow demon-ness is not gone. A part of the Darkling lives on inside Nikolai’s body, so we... sort of have a Darkolai ending, don’t we? 

The Darknikolina-ness of no tether scenes when she’s with Nikolai, the shadow demon and emerald ring, trying to cure via her light, the tendrils down the throat. My god. I am still on about this, yes. Imagine the possibilities... 

Mal:  Mal was not the literal worst in this book like he was in Siege and Storm. He’s finally gotten past being a drunk, angry, asshole, and now sees himself as a tool in a war. I’m glad he’s had some development, and that he’s accepted a position as not-Alina’s-lover. I find his tracker abilities absurd at times - what the hell do you mean he can target a beetle and shoot it to make a bomb explode?! WHAT? What in the world does that have to do with his being the firebird anyway?  On that note, I posted this elsewhere, but I have a theory that Morozova’s third amplifier - the firebird - Morozova’s daughter and her bloodline, so Mal - is actually not a true amplifier, but a curse. Any grisha that dared kill the firebird would lose their powers, and a bunch of nearby otkazat'sya would get them. Kind of a monkey’s paw situation (you want power? wish granted - they get the amplified power, not you). Not that Mal would know that. I also think that this curse is partially why Alina was so drawn to him. It’s a bit tragic really - they think it’s a sincere affection, but it’s really the amplifier, a trap, pulling her in, luring her. It’s unfortunately dismissed immediately by Mal when Alina brings it up - what if everything between them was just the amplifier? I personally think it was. I also maintain that he was very much a drug for her. He wanted to carve out her power, and in the end, he basically did. She goes back to being “useless” Alina, and unhappily staring out a window, longing for her powers. Once again, Alina tries to tell us she is happy - despite the evidence suggesting otherwise. 

The ending: I’ve already touched on the ending above a fair bit, but to summarize, I interpret the ending as a tragedy. Alina is a tragic hero - she tries to make things better, but she didn’t fix Ravka, there are still wars, and people still hate grisha. She loses her powers in the process, dying a metaphorical death and burning herself alongside her soulmate who she killed - our anti-villain, the Darkling. Nikolai is scarred, possessed, and left to rule alone, as Alina removes herself from society, sadly looking out the windows at the sunlight and wishing she had her powers, as Mal - the only happy one at the end has succeeded in keeping her weak. I know many hate the ending - I don’t, but it’s because I view it as a tragedy. 

#Grishaverse #ruin and rising #grisha trilogy #darklina #nikolina #darkolai #darknikolina #anti malina

[lilisouless]

I have been watching the rants on Sab i made and i realized that a lot of the things i have told can cross as a sexist double standard. I know it because if i was some random person scrolling over my blog, i may get the impression too. So i want to clarify something (who i am kidding,i am just in a mood to rant and i am looking for an excuse)

The thing is, i have become aware than when i talk about changes in character personalities and when they become nicer, i praise when it was done to Alina, Nadia and Marie. but i complain about it when it was done to Kaz. This could mean i think women should be nice but men are allowed to be mean. I reflexed about this and how i can be giving this message to people. But i actually got the awnser and, thankfully, is NOT about double standards , at least not mine.

This is kind of my excuse to explain my perspective on adapting a character and why changing some things are good and when it´s not, Shadow and bone is a really good subject in that matter.

-Kaz´s cruelty and smugness IS adressed on the books and fleshed out, it affects his interactions with other characters. Therefore, making him nicer affects not only his but the other crow´s develoment , since all of them are linked to Kaz on one way or another, specially Inej and Jesper : if the show keeps doing Kaz like that, they are going to come out as oblivious and ungratefull , respectively (what are they going to do in the fight scene? frame Jesper as the only one in the bad? That would be such a disservice) . I am not saying is happening, but is what may happen.

-Alina´s misoginy and Nadia & Marie´s classism on the other hand were never actually adressed. Alina fortunetally stops in book 3 but it´s mostly about she no longer being possesive about Mal than an introspection of the hatefull way she saw women that weren't Genya or the fact that she couldn't even conceive in book 2 the idea of a woman NOT being ultematelly devoted to a man (Zoya tells her "i am on your side because TD killed my aunt and niece" and the only thing that she can think of is "But she was the dakling´s favorite, this doesn't make sense!"). Not only that, while i don't believe this was the case of S&S , the first book actually invited the reader to agree with Alina´s misoginy ("haha, he slutshamed that girl!" "but you don't understand, every single girl in this camp is a bitch but her!"). Side note: this is why you can't judge a person that hates Alina in the first book, you can't ask a woman to be confortable with her narration if she is not and if you think the very reason i made this post was to rant on Alina´s untalked misoginy, you may be correct.

Nadia and Marie were even worse, i have ranted about this enought so i´ll keep it short. Leigh between book 1 and 2 decided that they were no longer going to be the same characters with those personality (she opted for giving them none) , the reader has to feel bad that Marie dies and be happy that Nadia will be paired with new character Tamar , and that´s all they are good for, so we have to forget how awfull they were , therefore: None of their previous behaviour is adressed, unlike Zoya for ex.

Are their flaws relevant to the story or anyone´s character develoment?

Genya seems to (for some reason) hate Zoya but not Nadia and Marie, despite them being the worst towards her. So, no: Genya´s arc never mentions Marie and Nadia. Neither does Alina or Zoya for that matter, Alina gets sad for Marie´s death as if they were friends (which they never were) and apart from a short line on R&R , doesn't hold anything against Nadia AND Zoya never mentions in the trilogy (or the Nikolai duology for that matter) any feelings on them pretending to be her friends but bad mouthing her behind her back.

Does Alina´s misoginy affects Zoya? No, Zoya left without an idea that Alina still genuilly despises her and slut shames her everytime she wants (and thats even in book 3, when Alina has already improved) . Does it affect anyone? No, no one, not even Alina, is aware of her prejudice towards other women, because it just fades; it´s never fleshed out.

So, none of those HAD to be there in the first place because it gets nowhere.

Ending up the rant, while Leigh should have adressed it, the adaptation had a wider range of options. Either adressing it or, erasing it at all. Which is what the show did, they changed at the expense of absolutelly no one.

"Is just because we can't hear Alina´s monologue, it doesn't mean she is not thinking like that in the show"

Look at me in the eye and tell me Jessie Mei Li´s Alina would think about women like that. Does she look like someone who would do that?

Book Alina! (the first book at least) wouldn't have hugged Zoya. She would have been completelly suspicious and asked her why she betrayed Kkgan and would have made a slutshaming comment at her back. Hell, i don't think she would have been nice to Inej even, she would have just reduced her to "Brekker´s companion" even if she is helping her right in front of her eyes.

So, it really doesn't come down that Kaz is a man and the other three are girls but:

1)Kaz appears in a book with better writting, Alina,Marie and Nadia had the bad luck of appearing in the first book where Leigh was barely starting.

2) Most importantly, how the changes can be done as long as it doesn't affect negatively the story and at the expense of other characters and it can even improve over the original material.

#netflix shadow and bone #shadow and bone critical #leigh bardugo critical #six of crows #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #alina starkov #leigh bardugo #grishaverse #the grishaverse #shadow and bone #i will be so sad if no one reads this

[mimikusu]

Ooh, these are such good questions! 5, 14 & th bonus question for Simon and Niko?

Thank you!! And thank you for asking me! I'm always happy to answer. 💕

5) What is their overall physical condition? Are they healthy or do they get sick easily?

Simon should not be the type to get sick easily. He's rather fit and he's very much trying to eat healthy. Still, he's catching every cold passing his way, only because he's forcing his body to it's limits ruthlessly. And he's not gonna learn from it. (Not as long as I got a say in the matter, though.)

Nikolai's much less careful to stay healthy. He's tending to dress unfitfull for the weather out of carelessness and since he's in contact with a lot of different people, it's only natural that he will get sick easily. Much to Simon's dismay, since he's catching almost all his colds from Niko.

14) Are they emotional or rather rational? And does that change when they're sick?

Simon is very rational. Maybe because he killed any last bit of emotion or maybe because he's always been rather logical. He tends to think that anything aside ratio is stupidity and a very much useless way to spend one's time. Even though he proofs himself wrong by enjoying art, music and literature not for it's ratio, but it's beauty. There's not much shift in that when he's unwell. Other than some loathing and selfpity he almost hates himself for, he's not prone to being more emotional than usual with a cold.

Nikolai tends to be much more emphathetic than Simon. He's able to read his opponents feelings and respond to them in a way that make them feel at ease. Which is not to say, that he himself is very emotional. However, when he's sick, he tends to be more selfcentered, sad and might feel lonely easily. Weirdly enough, Simon's lack of empathy is comforting him, in a way, that he doesn't have to feel bad for being evoking negative feelings in the other by being overly dramatic - other than annoyance though.

Bonus: In case you are by chance familiar with the four temperament theory (melancholic (rational type), phlegmatic (supportive type), sanguine (energetic type) and choleric (dominant type) with the first two being introvert and the last extrovert) where do they tend to be on the chart?

I'm very happy to answer that one of course! Maybe I'll give a brief impression of my understanding of the types (though my knowledge is rather shallow. Feel free to correct me!) The melancholic is obsessed with details. They want to know everything to the last bit of information before they make decisions. They really like to think things through and they tend to pose questions. The phlegmatic is very kind. They tend to put others first and they seek to make people around them happy, always striving for harmony. The sanguine is always seeking for experiences. They like to live their life to the fullest, not caring that much about lasting things but rather shortlived desires. And the choleric is rather strongminded. They know exactly what they want and how to get it. They don't care for long explanations or details, but rather easy and short instructions. That said, I'd say that Simon has strong tendencies to melancholic. He likes to draw connection between things and he does not respond well to hierarchy, which is part of the him opposing choleric type. That said, he wishes to be more dominant, as much as he dislikes people who actually are. He's much more close to the sanguine in terms of being introvert, though he's far enough from it to struggle with extrovert people from time to time. And Nikolai's on the other side of the graph with more tendencies to sanguine. He's a bit more on the outer level, farer from choleric and closer to melancholic, which is how and why Simon and him go along at all. I used to think that Niko could be phlegmatic as well, but since they somewhat oppose to one another and cancel themselfs out, I'd rather say that it's his tendency to consume people in a way, that makes it feel as if he cared, while he actually does not really think about whether they profit from him being there or not.

It's so annoying that tumblr would cut this off...

#thank you so much for asking that! #it was a delight! #asks

[caspianxth]

Hi, more thoughts, sorry<3

like yeah i agree that kaz absolutely has a heart, but i think those acts of kindness are mostly reserved for the people he loves, even if wylan is new, you can tell he's already warmed up to him, and i really dont think he'd do something kind just because for someone he feels indifferent to at best, much less someone like a king, and wait omg i just remembered he's friends with sturmhund i take it all back, he would indeed give it up for his friend. and yeah youre right about wesper it was adorable, but i dont know i needed the slow burnnnnn, but yeah given netflix penchant for with gay shit, it was necessary.

And about everything else, yeah it made sense but it was really rushed, especially in s2, and like i get that they have to make everything as fast as they can in case it gets cancelled but im sad about it, but i just really hope malina does meet in the meadow in the end, cause at this point, this show is uncharted territory and completely new and i am so excited for it, and i think that was just setting up for nikolai i bet they will make him all scary later, or at least i hope. But like MERZOST!!!!! ALINA WTF!!! i loved the shadow cut it, like alina i love that youre very powerful but pls try not to turn evil, and like shes heading exactly in the direction the darkling said she would go which is so scary and obvious in a good way i love it. And omg the darkling, like in the books its neither easy to not root for him except maybe when he dies, but here omg, you're telling me he actually felt something for alina and it was not just manipulation!!!

Also Ben Barnes makes it really hard to not be on his side, Alina is waay stronger than me, "Make me your villain", for you? anything, also very simp i loved it, so its okay they omitted a lot of his character and relationship with alina, as they basically made a new one which i like. and about the white hair thing, it was iconic!!! i needed it!! but its okay, also i think the darkling probably experienced some shit associated with his power, but probably never like that cause the only amplifier he used was his mother, and it wasnt until he used merzost he became unstoppable, and it was slowly taking its toll on him, so slowy at first that it might have even been a plot hole, cause later it starts eating him from the inside.

Anyways Ice Court Heist is coming omgomgomgomg im so excited, i cant wait to see something really serious happening with nikolai and alina, and the crows just, just, yeah. i love them. i love jesper and wylan (the characters not their relationship in this instance) so much i could die just thinking about them.

And i think that's all my thoughts until now, I apologize in advance because I WILL think about it more and I WILL bother you about it<3

sturmhond my beloved <3 best of the grishaverse men truly!! also re wesper I love them I'd die for them plus with a tv show I need smth to be happy about and kanej: glacial pace, helnik: slow burn bc of the whole hellgate sitch. like I need smth to be diggin!!! re nikolai, a nichevo'ya is not how he should look and tbh I don't like how they're doing it in the show if that's the angle they take but hopefully I'm wrong. I do think paddy gibson did kill as nikolai like when they let book nikolai pop out? slayed!!! also yeah alina like don't be doin that (merzost) baghra made u promise!! but it is a way better end than her losing all her power and I'm excited to see where they take that, I saw on twitter somewhere that leigh has lots of ideas where to take it if given more so we shall see <3 also w the darkling, like, ok so 1 he is ben barnes so that's a thing bc I've been crushing on him since prince caspian but also!! like the thing is like, he really did love her for a bit there! he had peace when she surprise kissed him!! that's the moment he went right back to in his defeat right before alina mcstabbed him (which he did deserve btw). like the heartbreaking part w darklina is they really could've had it if he'd trusted her!!! but he didn't!!! and that was his greatest weakness!!!!! I do like malina but like, for me it's nikolina >>>>>>>>>> malina sorry. book or show nikolai is just *chef's kiss*. but also re nikolai, zoyalai >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>nikolina. so like, the setup there is also *chef's kiss*.

#asks #kurtcobainsgreencardigan

[allisonlol]

Hii, how are You? :DD I really like Your writing so could I request Jouno, Poe and Nikolai comforting their sad/anxious s/o?

a/n: omg absolutely !! some of my fav characters; i adore this req :D

warnings: mentions of panic attacks, anxiety, crying, descriptions of general unwellness

(Jouno, Poe, Nikolai) Comforting a Sad & Anxious S/O

this gif? high key me lmao

Jouno

he can always immediately tell when you’re feeling upset just by the rhythm of your heart 

so, the second he hears your heartrate increase to be unusually fast, he’s concerned

on this day in particular, it happened while the two of you were preparing for bed

out of nowhere, you’d just started to feel incredibly anxious

happens to me all the time. really sucks, doesn’t it?

“y/n? is something wrong?” jouno immediately asks 

“i’m fine! just a bit tired.” you say, but your voice is shaky

it’s painfully obvious that you’re lying, and jouno is at your side in a second, pressing two fingers down on your wrist to test your pulse

“your heartrate is over 100 bpm, your breathing is rapid and you’re shaking...clearly something is wrong.”

well damn jouno, we didn’t ask for an entire medical evaluation

jk that’s just how he shows that he cares

you admit to your boyfriend that you’re having a panic attack even if the cause is unclear (those are the worst kinds of panic attacks tbh)

jouno is, surprisingly, very understanding and tries his best to calm you down

this is one of the only moments that you’ll see his extremely soft and caring side :’)

helps you to sit down somewhere and will rub soothing circles on your back

also whispers soft little affirmations in your ear about how he loves you & that everything will be ok <3

won’t leave your side until he can clearly hear that your heart rate has subdued back to normal and that you’ve stopped shaking 

basically,,,i need myself a jouno. right tf now

Poe

poe is extremely empathetic for you

to the point where if you’re sad or anxious, he will also become sad and anxious

it literally can’t be helped lol. he just gets so worried for you it overrides his emotions as well

now this doesn’t mean he won’t be able to comfort you 

because he tries his best !

poe isn’t the most...well versed in situations such as these so he might be a bit awkward but it truly is sweet

he can read ur emotions easily so he pretty much instantly knows when you’re sad

panics a bit internally but tries not to let it show for your sake

the moment he realizes something is wrong, he’ll quietly approach before putting his hands on your shoulders and softly asking what’s bothering you

if it’s anything you want to talk about, he’ll patiently listen to you rant and offer comfort or advice where he can

poe is a really good cook (canon bc i said so) therefore whenever you’re sad he’ll make your favorite foods for you

he’ll also read his stories to you, and his voice is so deep and calming-

karl even tries to make you feel better too, and will climb into your lap and snuggle with you

after poe’s initial panic at you being sad, he becomes very sweet & dead bent on improving your mood :)

Nikolai

this man’s a bit clueless so he might not notice you’re upset at first

he’ll be in the middle of teasing you when, out of nowhere you just break down and start crying

this really shocks him and his smile instantly drops

another one who goes into panic mode. except this is because he think’s you’re crying due to him

in reality you were just very overwhelmed and that was your breaking point; it had nothing to do with nikolai teasing you

you try to reassure him of this between gasps as you cry

when you’re upset is one of the only times you’ll see your boyfriend actually be serious for once

he leads you to a nearby chair so you can sit down, and crouches down next to it so he’s at your eye level

won’t say much at first and will let you cry for a bit while holding your hand for reassurance

after you’ve stopped crying he’ll gently wipe the tears from your cheek and ask if you want to explain why you’re upset

believe it or not, nikolai actually turns into a very good listener during these times

also becomes very doting, getting whatever you need without you even having to ask 

he’ll even attempt to make you smile or laugh by showing you some magic tricks <3

and once you’re in a somewhat better mood, he’ll scoop you up bridal style and carry you straight to bed to cuddle !

a/n: ty for such a cute req omg >.< hope u enjoyed !

#bsd x reader #bsd nikolai gogol #nikolai x you #nikolai x reader #nikolai gogol #bsd poe #poe x y/n #poe x reader #bungou stray dogs poe #jouno x reader #bsd jouno #jouno saigiku #bsd hcs #nikolai headcanons #bsd x you

[yesimwriting]

Tranquility

A/n about time i wrote something for my privateer,, my love, Nikolai Lantsov

Summary: You and Nikolai are masters of being a couple without actually dating, and the only thing threatening that is the way Nikolai gets after having a nightmare. 

--

Tranquility. So rare for a world on the cusp of war. I guess that’s what the difference between a world at war and a world only boarding on it, the occasional glimmers of goodness, peace. I shift cautiously, careful to not disturb Nikolai. He is tranquility, especially in the few moments in which he allows himself to rest. Not long ago, I found his trips to my bed in the middle of the night strange. But now I only think of the oddness of it when I can’t fall asleep and I find myself enjoying the peaceful lull of his even breaths more than I should. I think a lot of things we do are more indulgent than they should be. 

Nikolai only comes to visit me when the bags under his eyes become noticeable and his humor falls flatter than normal. I tell myself he takes my comfort because he trusts me to some extent and I give it to him willingly when he seeks it. I��m not fully innocent. I take his peace, his touch and warm sentiments, when they are offered to me. But now I’m bordering on something else. Something much more devastating. 

This isn’t something I can afford to think about, to weigh on. Not now when war is on its way and Nikolai already has so much to worry about. Perhaps I’ll mention this to Alina and she’ll manage to give me some type of perspective, but that isn’t something I should do now. When the world has ended or is made safe, then I will sort through the significance of the way my heart stalls or speeds up for him and him alone. 

I should just try to fall asleep again. If I do, when I wake up again Nikolai will either already be gone because of his duties or he’ll make some kind of joke about how fortunate I am to wake up to such a sight before trying to coax me back to bed. I shouldn’t want that.

Ugh. He’s so pretty, I hate it. It’s unfair--one cannot expect someone to have someone like Nikolai dote on them, playfully or otherwise, and not catch some type of connection. Even in sleep, with his golden hair disheveled, parted lips, and fluttering eyelids he’s unfairly attractive. I sigh, the irony of the situation twisting my stomach--if he knew my thoughts his ego would bask in them. 

As if he can feel my conflict, his defined eyebrows draw together, his placid expression turning harsh. I tense, watching as that look only hardens. Is he...okay? It wouldn’t be the first time he’s had some kind of nightmare. Nikolai’s lips press together, and then he makes a noise. A sad, discomforted sigh. 

The remnants of my drowsiness disappear at that. I place a hand on his shoulder thoughtlessly, shaking him once. “Nikolai.” I keep my voice low and soft. His expression stays hard, “Wake up, it’s not…” He lets out another broken sound. I shake him a little more determinedly. “It’s not real.” 

Nikolai’s eyelids flutter once more, and he’s pushing himself upwards, sitting up and breathing harshly. My hand falls off his shoulder, but I think it’s better this way. He needs space to realize that he’s safe. 

Taking two shallow breaths, Nikolai turns his head. I watch him carefully, resisting the instinctual urge to help him, to comfort him and chase away the darkness that wants to engulf him. 

“Y/n?” His voice is so fragile a part of me doesn’t recognize it as his. 

I nod my head once, folding my hands in my lap to avoid reaching for him. “You’re okay. It was just a dream.” 

His gaze flits from my face to the ruffled blankets draped over me. He’s silent and still. Two things he should never be for a long period of time. Nikolai shifts slowly, as if still trapped in a daze. I let his hand take mine from my lap and pull it towards him. He squeezes my hand once, bringing my knuckles to his lips. I inhale sharply as he exhales, warm breath burning my skin. And then his lips brush against each knuckle. I let him, fighting not to let myself be reduced to a puddle. 

Nikolai lifts my hand, coaxing my palm open before placing it on his cheek. I brush my thumb down his cheek. He lets out a breath, the sound is soft yet it leaves my heart raw. 

I don’t say anything as he moves his hand down my arm, fingertips leaving my skin electrically charged as he always does. He pauses once his hand is on my shoulder. I let him grip me harder than I normally would. It feels like I am an anchor, weighing him in place so that the dark cannot take him away from me. 

My lips part, but I have no words to offer him, not when I don’t know the extent of his torment. Nikolai’s hand brushes past the sleeve of my nightgown and across my collarbone. I swallow once, dropping my gaze to avoid the sharpness of the look he’s giving me. 

“You’re heavy sometimes,” I keep my voice low, “I wish I could--” 

“You do,” his voice leaves no room for argument. The tone is filled with a tension that he has never used on me. “You do everything.” 

“And you are everything.” His expression softens at my words. It feels like a reward in a way. 

Nikolai moves forward, the bed makes a noise as he rustles the sheet. I don’t bother asking what he’s doing. He’s always touchier than usual after a nightmare, breaking even more social rules than normal. I let him place his head in the crook of my neck while ignoring the warmth that pushes itself into my chest as he adjusts himself against me. I hesitate before placing my hand on his back even though I know he’d never reject me. He lets out a breath at the additional contact, adjusting himself so that he’s even more against me. I move my hand up and down his back.

The urge to ask him about what his dreams are about bubbles in my chest, but I ignore it. If he wanted to speak about it, he would. 

“Things are easier with you.” His voice is so delicate it’s almost hard to bear. His hand presses into my side and my breathing stiffens as a result.“I’m glad you’re here.” 

I meet his gaze as he tilts his head upwards. “Of course I am, how could I ever resist someone as wonderful as you?”

The corner of Nikolai’s lips tug upwards, a sign that he appreciates my attempt at humor. “You’re not wrong, darling.” I roll my eyes as he grins, ignoring the way my stomach tightens as he presses his face into my shoulder to hide his amusement. “You’re the wonderful one.” 

I smile slightly, sarcastic retort dying in the back of my throat as something in Nikolai shifts. His eyes have taken on a simple, dark quality. I’ve seen this tension in him before, but I’ve never understood it. Nikolai tilts his head slightly, regarding me with more intensity than I know how to deal with. He shifts closer until I can feel his breath on the edge of my jaw. And then I feel his lips brush against skin. Testing, cautious. I don’t move. He must take this as a good sign because he then presses his lips further up my jaw. Again and again, always gentle, always fragile--always more welcomed than it should be. 

I close my eyes, indulging in the feel of his touch, and then I feel him touch my cheek. The contact is feather light as my eyes flutter open. He’s close in a different way now, lips two centimeters away from mine. 

This means nothing to him, this is nothing to him. It is just a way to push through pain he refuses to share with me. “Nikolai.” It’s meant to be a warning, but it comes out as a breathy sigh. “Nikolai…” A little stronger, he pauses, face a centimeter from my face. 

“Y/n.” My name is soft grace on his lips. 

My eyes shut. “You can’t--you can’t kiss me just because you need to be distracted.” 

His eyebrows draw together and then he straightens. The distance between us leaves me colder than before. “Do you really think that?” 

I press my lips together. “We should just go back to sleep--” 

“Y/n,” he sighs once, “Is that what you think?” 

I stare at the blankets, gripping the fabric. “Does it matter?” 

“Yes.” His voice is hard, losing all touches of irony. “It matters.” I stay silent, avoiding Nikolai’s gaze. “Out of all the reasons I want to kiss you, being distracted isn’t even on the list.” 

My head snaps in his direction. What is he implying? “What?” 

“Y/n,” his hand is on my arm, warm and tempting, “I want to kiss you because when you smile it feels like all the bad goes away. I want to kiss you because you bite your bottom lip when you’re thinking and then that’s the only thing I can think about. I want to kiss you for the same reason I come to your room whenever I want to rest. You’re my tranquility.” My eyes soften at his words, my mind racing at the implications of them. “You’re biting your lip again, darling, and it’s torture.” 

On instinct, my lips part slightly. He doesn’t move closer or farther away. I exhale slowly, trying to push away the electric current the potential of this moment is stirring. Nikolai’s hand moves up my arm and settles on my cheek. 

His thumb brushes against my cheek, making me melt. “I want to kiss you because when I’m with you all of the bad, all of the uncertainty disappears.” 

Nikolai leans forward slightly, breath warm near my skin. “Is that all?” 

If his touch wasn’t so enticing I’d roll my eyes at such a blatant attempt to get a compliment. But his touch is all consuming, especially when he moves to run his thumb across my bottom lip. “No--you’re also ridiculously enticing, but something tells me you don’t need me to add to your ego.” 

He grins, shifting impossibly closer before finally letting his lips meet mine. The contact is everything I’ve ever needed, his lips warm and inviting and eager. I kiss him back easily, melting into him like that’s where I’ve always belonged. Nikolai pulls away slowly, drawing out the kiss and letting his teeth graze my bottom lip.

“For the record, you’re the only ego boost I need.” He smiles lazily, hand not leaving my cheek. “You’re my peace, y/n,” he exhales flatly, “Please remember that.” 

There’s something strangely sleepy yet revered about his tone. “Of course I will,” I hum, letting him rest his head against my chest, “You’re my peace, too.” 

“Sometimes when I dream I see you and then I lose you.” Nikolai’s tone leaves my heart sore as he adjusts against me. 

“You’re not losing me,” I whisper, eyes fluttering shut. “Ever.” He exhales gently. “Get some sleep--you never get enough rest.” 

He squeezes me once, pressing a quick kiss to my collar. “Whatever you want.” 

I half roll my eyes, too tired to to call him out on his teasing, the lull of sleep strengthened only by the weight of him against my chest. 

 --

general tag list: @theincredibledeadlyviper, @grishaverse7 @benbarnes-supremacy  @tranquilitymoon @kaitlyn2907 @lunamyangel @christinawxxx @deceivedeer @real-mbappe @tonks33

#nikolai lantsov #nikolai lantsov x reader #shadow and bone #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone x you #shadow and bone netflix #shadow and bone show #grishaverse #grishaverse x reader #grishaverse imagine #grisha #grishaverse x you #my works #six of crows imagine #grishaverse imagines

[scarletta-ruan]

Beautiful flower just for you [Nikolai Gogolx Fem!Reader]

WARNING: OOC, soft!characters, reader is a lady of the family, vampire!character

TYPE: Oneshort, fluff

PAIRING: Vampire!Nikolai Gogol x fem!Young lady!reader

WORDCOUNTS: 2k9+ words

NOTES: Thanks for 100 followers, I decided to write it after post an idea on Tumblr. The idea is here. I also open a request box when I hit my first 100 followers too, read the rules here.

I also have another scenario is waiting for me to finish too.

Oh my, you are as beautiful as the moonlight. The charming flower crown is matched for you, young lady.

“Miss, you received a letter.”

The maid appeared at the door of your room and said, you were reading a book when you heard her voice. You lifted your head up from the book, and when you saw the maid, you stood up and walked to her right away. The maid gave you the letter by both of her hands, you took the letter from her and said.

“You may leave, thank you.”

The maid whispered thank you then disappeared. You checked the letter from behind and back just to find out who would send you a letter, when you noticed a name was written neatly on the envelope. 

From the [Last name] family.

You chuckled in despair when you read your last name, it used to be your home but not until now, when you were set in an arranged wedding just for them to exchange the freedom. You were a young lady from the [Last name] family which is one of the longest noble families in the area you live. Sounds great for the poor people who often wish that they could become like you, but they were misunderstanding. But they did not understand how you feel when living in a family like this.

In front of people’ eyes, they became perfect parents, always wanting to take care of you and not let you do anything which they are unable, but deep inside their heart you were nothing but an exchange for them to have a good life. You were brought up by their saying of when you were old enough they would get you to marry the person you did not love.

And that led to your current husband.

The other things that you did not realize that they made you marry a vampire. You knew this man when you were a child, he always came to your family mansion just to meet your father to do some of their business. You met him several times before you got married.

“Hey, what are you reading, lady?”

You startled when you heard a voice behind your back, nearly dropping the letter in your hand. When you tried to turn around, that person slowly put their hand on your waist to pull you closer to their body. The cold temperature made you shiver when your body got to lean against them, you realized that immediately.

“W-Welcome home Sir.”

“I’m home.”

Nikolai said when he leaned his chin on your shoulder. His mismatched eyes looked at the envelope in your hand, curiously. Then he asked.

“What’s in your hand, Dove?”

“Nothing, just some of the paper needs to be thrown away.”

You said then put the letter inside of your dress pocket. Nikolai looked at your side profile when you said that, you felt his arms grabbed around your waist tightly then he said.

“Young lady doesn’t lie, little lady [Last name].”

You sighed then took out the letter you were hiding, you showed him the name of the sender on the envelope. When Nikolai learned that this kind of letter was from your family he said.

“A letter from your loving family? Well, I don’t expect them to send you a letter like this.”

“Me too.” You agreed with him, your eyes now paying attention to the envelope, as you continued. “Shall I open it?”

“Depending on you, Dove.”

Nikolai said, his eyes did not leave the envelope, if this kind of letter is the reason why you were sad he would storm up with the whole of your family. When Nikolai was planning you opened the envelope and took a card out of it, you turned to the letter side. A beautiful handwriting that you recognized right away when you looked at it, you read outloud the card.

“The [Last name] family masquerade?” 

You frowned when you read the first line, you wondered why they celebrate a masquerade during these days. You tried to remember if there were any important days that you forgot, but you had no clue, when you read the next line you finally understood.

“To introduce the wife of the young master of the [Last name] family?”

You sighed, they never cared about how you were during these days but they sent you a letter to ask you to join the family masquerade. 

“Do you want to join in?”

Nikolai asked you when he looked at your side profile, your face seemed like you were lost in your mind now. You crumpled the letter in your hand then tossed it inside your dress pocket, you leaned your head on his chest and said.

“I guess I will join it with you.”

You showed up with  his name written neatly on the line.

Sincerely invite Duke Nikolai Gogol and his wife.

“Thank you.”

You received a glass of wine when you stood alone in the party, people kept having their own gossip with the others and there were some of them approached to asked or talked to you. You felt uncomfortable when joining your own family, just felt like you were going to become a young lady of the [Last name] family again. 

Nikolai was going to meet a person he needed to meet in this masquerade so he told you to stand there and waited here for him. You took a sip of wine when you looked at the people who were standing in here, beside the people talking to each other, you could hear a Waltz music which was playing over and over. And overthere, you could see some couples dancing together.

“Oh, I thought that you would never join our masquerade.”

A voice suddenly raised to make you turn around, a young boy that you had known a long time ago just before you left this [Last name] family. You narrowed your eyes behind your own mask and a smirk appeared on your face when you recognized that person, you said.

“Ah, long time no see, my little brother is growing up fastly, I guess.”

“And young lady [Name] doesn’t change after a long time we don’t interact with each other right?”

Your young brother asked. Suddenly you guys chuckled when you finished asking, you raised your own glass of wine to him and said.

“Congratulations on your growing up, kiddo.”

“Thank you, older sister.”

The clinging sound of the wine glass resounded gently in the air, you looked at the person opposite you and said.

“So the old man forced you to marry? To continue his idiot family tradition, right?”

“Yeah, I am sick of his talking everyday that I had to get married a lot.”

Your young brother replied, he then looked at your [color] orbs which were hidden behind the charming mask and asked.

“So… dear sister, what do you do during these days? Does your husband treat you well?”

“Duke Nikolai is good, beside the problem that he was a vampire so he needs to have my blood everyday.” You stopped for a while then continued. “He still takes care of me really well.”

“Glad that you are feeling better.”

You frowned when you looked at your young brother, you could see his eyes were sparkling as if they were smiling at you behind his mask. He could understand right away that you did not get what he was saying so your brother said.

“You said about him with your sparkling eyes, sister. Before leaving this family, your eyes don’t have any colors or happiness in it.”

“So am I?”

You said to him, your brother nodded his head to confirm that. You smiled with him and hitted gently on his arms.

“Thanks, you better visit me next time you come to our mansion.”

“Okay, dear sister.” Your young brother chuckled then his eyes noticed at the stair of the ballroom then he looked at you and said. “See you later, sister.”

You nodded your head when he started walking, your young brother also nodded his head before he disappeared in the crowd. After your brother you left a long sigh then put the glass of wine on the tray of the servant who was standing nearby and left the ballroom. You step out of the room then walk to the balcony outside of the room.

The cold wind brushed your [color] hair when you were standing at the balcony looking at the beautiful night sky in front of your eyes. You slowly took off your own mask, you were really tired when joining a masquerade party just like this. You closed your eyes to feel the wind rubbing your face, your body leaned on the railing, the cool air seemed to have its own way to calm you down a lot. After standing here for a moment you decided to put your mask back on, it was time for you to get inside the masquerade again.

You suddenly quivered when you felt there was a cold temperature on your neck. This party was one of the most dangerous masquerade if humans like you did not be careful. Almost all the noble families in this area were vampires, so humans always needed to be aware of them if they did not want to die. You turned around right away and saw a hand appear through the portal, you realized it right away. You chuckled and said.

“Sir Nikolai, is that you? Are you here, Sir?”

“My, my, my young lady is too sharp, she can realize her own husband right away, right?”

A familiar voice resounded behind your back, you turned around immediately just to see Nikolai was sitting on the railing where you had just leaned on a moment before. You could see his eyes which were showing off some tricks in them through the mask. His hand through the portal gently rubbed your head and he said.

“Don’t you enjoy the masquerade without me, Dovey?”

“Not quite much.” You replied, gave him a smile on your face, you continued. “I feel empty when you aren’t here with me, Sir. Seems like…”

You took a step closer to Nikolai who was still sitting on the railing, tipped your toes then gave him a kiss on his cold lips. 

“I miss you, Sir.”

You whispered to him. Nikolai right away put both of his arms around you to make you lean on his chest. When you left his lips Nikolai slowly took off your masquerade mask and whispered.

“This mask hides your beauty, love. And also, I am not interested in wearing a masquerade mask, so… will you take it off for me?”

You nodded your head then you took off his masquerade mask, Nikolai’s mismatched eyes looked at you gently. You loved his beautiful mismatched eyes a lot, somehow those eyes made you feel safe when you were looking at them. Nikolai suddenly placed a kiss on your cheek, then he put one of his hands on your other cheek and said.

“Still as beautiful as I remember.”

Your cheeks glowed red when you heard Nikolai say it. Of course, you still remembered what he called remember, to be clear that was you two first time meeting.  

“Sister, you need to get back to the masquerade or the old man will be mad at you.”

The young boy kept chasing and talking with you while you were holding up your own prom dress and tried to get out of him. You then stopped and turned around, that made the young boy fall if he did not stop immediately, you hissed.

“Don’t you dare talk about that stupid old man again? I am sick of his damn saying, if he is gonna do anything to me I would piss him off.”

You left the boy behind and tried to escape that place, now you were standing in the garden where you could see the light of the ballroom and the Waltz music was resounding into your ears. You were getting tired just because of those traditions that your father setted up for you and for the whole family, he made you marry the one you did not know his face neither you did not have any emotions for him just because he helped your family and had big affection in front of the public.

You sat down on your knees, buried your face in your crossed arms, you cried quietly. How many times did you cry when you were a child, you did not know. You hated this kind of life a lot, you thought if you got married with someone else you would escape from this house and maybe if that man did not love you, you would leave him and have a normal life, you thought.

“Hey, why are you crying here?”

A man's voice resounded made you startled, both of your arms hurriedly wiped away the tears on your face. You did not want anybody else to see you were crying, but that person seemed fast, you could feel he was standing behind you. You felt a hand touching your head, when you lifted your head up just to say.

“I’m alright Sir, you don’t have to worried about m-”

Your eyes opened wide when you saw a hand appear in the portal instead of that person standing in front of you. You turned around and saw a man with a half black and white mask on his face, you could see his elegant smirk was on his lips, he asked.

“Young lady, what’s wrong, I don’t mind if you tell me.”

You stood up, wiping the dust on your dress away when you faced him, the other hand of yours tried to clear all of the tears on your face. You said.

“I am sick of my family, I hope I will be able to leave them.”

“Oh, I understand it. You were forced with lots of traditions of your own house, am I right, young lady?”

That man said politely, you nodded your head. This person understood your idea really quickly, he seemed like he knew all about you even though… you had not met him before. He smiled when he looked into your eyes through the mask. You could see his mismatched beautiful eyes behind the mask, that was when the man bowed down made you surprised, he raised a hand up to you and said.

“Shall I invite you for a dance?”

“O-Oh, you should be careful of me. Because…” You stopped for a while, hesitated to take his hand then you continued. “...I can’t dance as nicely as other people in my family, I might step on your feet, Sir.”

“Don’t worry, I will help you, young lady.”

The man lifted his head up, and said. You slowly took his hand, he immediately held your hand and his other hand placed on your waist then he started dancing when the Waltz in the ballroom had just started playing another one. You were panicking with him but you felt that he was slowly waiting for you to dance, not to rush, but not to slow, his speed was nearly for you to catch. 

When the music flew up he lifted you by grabbing your waist and spinning three times, that was the hard one in dancing, no one could do it except they were professional in dancing. You now could see his overall, white-longed hair was braiding neatly, his mismatched eyes sparkling under the moonlight. His beauty made your heart miss a beat, how beautiful he is. He might be an Angel, not a real Angel but maybe the decay one. 

When his hand touched your hand again, you could feel his cold temperature on your hand. He seemed so fragile…

You thought to yourself when you continued dancing with him, when the Waltz was done he left your hand and with a turn with his cape, you did not see him anymore.

“You didn’t even tell me your name or nothing, Sir. You just disappeared and then returned back to our mansion and said that you are my fiance.”

You chuckled when you talked with Nikolai, he switched the place between you two. Now he was standing on the floor of the balcony while you were sitting on the railing. He said.

“I just want to meet my fiancee before I ask to marry her.”

Your cheeks were glowing red when your forehead leaned on his one. Nikolai smiled when he looked at you then he said.

“Dovey, I have a present for you.”

You tilted your head when you heard him say, then you felt something had just put on your head. That was when you raised your head up to touch the things on your head, a flower crown was placed on your head. You were surprised when he did it, Nikolai smiled when he looked at you.

“Beautiful flowers for beauty, love. You deserve it.”

“Th-Thanks, Sir.”

You smiled gently when you looked at him again. 

Nikolai slowly looked at you in your eyes, he really wanted to protect you, not to make you hurt for any reason. He would kill anyone who laid their fingers on you immediately. Nikolai helped you to get down from the railing, placed your mask on your face again. He also put his mask on his face and said.

“I guess that we have to continue the masquerade, love.”

You nodded your head, agreed with what he was saying. Nikolai raised his hand for you to hold him, you immediately took it in your hand. He felt warm when your palm rubbed against him, for somehow he also used to this kind of warmth of yours.

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