#it's just crapola all around lol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

realhankmccoy · 2 years

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Me: I'm not into 'special' people acting like they're better than others Typical Milleninal: YOU ARE ALL ABOUT YOURSELF WELL HERE IS THE KISSER: I ________ (insert intensifier here) THOUGHT YOU WERE SPECIAL!

Me: Oh no, sick burn bro, lol. That's exactly the thing I don't want to be. You honestly don't know that by now? Does anything in the way I conduct even my tumblr say 'oh gee i want to be some special person who rises like a star? I want to be a Marilyn? I want to be a Britney? I want to be a Kurt?' please. Listen, dumbass, I'm sick of your projection (an overused term in arguments but in your case it really applies) and here's a case of where you're making your value system (special people) very clear as the most sort of salient 'Sticker' while at the same time ignoring that I have the polar value opposite system. I'm not into feeling special. I am not into this game of more-special-than-thou. I go on and on about that and you never pay attention. In fact, one of my high school rivals sang 'Special' by Garbage at my 10 year class reunion as a sort of kiss off to the whole class about how she thinks she's a special person and hoped they were but none in the end measured up to her a special person so she wins. I thought it was really terrible of her. It reminds me of your value system which is made clear by you.

I told you that I have life experience the likes of which you have not known and that I have seen the patterns over and over again. I told you that I want people to be nice to me and stop it with the cartoon drama and 'isn't sparring so much fun with people who tell you flat out they don't want that' -- no it is not, it is not fun to do the opposite of what others want unless you are some spoiled Boomer -- and you shat all over that with explosive diarrhea just as bad as my dad did last time I saw him and I said I didn't want to talk about anything serious -- bam, what does he do, launch straight into serious rectification of me -- no interest in what anyone wants but himself. If you don't understand what I'm about at this point you never will -- so go accuse me of being the type of person that you are. But it's simply not true.

I don't want to be 'special' I alienate people on purpose here just because I'm disgusted by this capitalist culture of limited edition special extra expensive toys, exclusivity, you name it -- the systemic crap you haven't gotten over at all

I'm sick of being the nanny due to your internalisation of the worst 'punching down' traits of capitalists and refusal to learn that I am not into humouring the 'big crushes little' 'man crushes female shit' and you know better than to dare try it at least -- 'white crushes black' although i think you stick like paste to the fucking whiteness personally -- so fuck off i will not even be around to read your response cuz I'm just kind of drawing the line in the sand between me and those who do that Trumpola Crapola isn't a crapitalist jungle a lot of giggles and fun and ups and downs high highs and low lows like a Batman film i mean fuck. I don't read The Donald anymore either, though I learned a few things from fighting back against his evil too. You had time to apologise or improve if you felt you did anything wrong, but aren't capable of that and just worsen in the most predictable way under the 'creative destruction' of increasingly hierarchical, increasingly mistrustful capitalism that I've seen since, well, the last systemic cuck -- systemic buzzing and systemic treading water is all i hear -- certainly not personal growth or improvement of artistry, so you are off the read list.

And I'll tell you this too about yourself -- the most mistrustful people of me I know are what, my biological dad and brother -- because they know themselves and figure everybody else is just as bad or worse. Consider how paranoid Putin is. He knows he's up to no good, thus everyone else must be even more up to no good in his view.

I have faith in who I am because I have the courage of my moral, ethical, and love and kindness convictions, and I know plenty of people busting a sweat to do good, so whatever you think 'courage' is is in a whole crapola ballpark compared to my value system and I am totally uninterested in whatever precisely yours might be because -- why would I care about inferior, more hierarchical, more throw-a-punch technology as something worthy of adopting?

The only 'special' people in my book are the ones who believe in kindness and niceness as a way of life and as a way to heal this sick and spoiled, globally parasitic nation.

And no, I haven't figured out how to tie Donald J. up in a big red ribbon and bow and plant a kiss on his face to soften his heart with nary a sharp word for him. Same with yours. So sue me that I'm not fucking Marianne Williamson but she hasn't figured it out with the Donald types either, I believe, or perhaps she could have stopped the narcissism. but I am not the biggest selfselfself guy in the room even between the two of us -- your own value system as posited, opposed to mine, makes that clear -- and your own value system is microMAGA with the most superficial, vague and lightly tethered tokenist communist intentions -- as if that's anything i haven't seen a billion times and those fade away even more as you age into something more conservative like systemic types always do -- i've already seen it in the years of knowing you - and you haven't figured it out yet and I get so sick of having to speak the truth for nothing but non-elucidating spittle back -- just self-serving manipulation attempts is what I get -- so whatever.

#Youtube

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madsdefencesquad · 2 years

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The more I think about it the more I think those interviews Justin did talking about Kevin being “lonely without feeling alone” & all the romance stuff. That just HAD to be before the script changed. I remember that was right at the beginning of January(?) Have we seen that?! Him being alone & it not bothering him? Nope not really. So my theory is they won’t show any romantic stuff in the way he talked about it. Not that I care bc I won’t be watching but it’s just a thought I had. Really don’t think it will happen 🤷🏼‍♀️

There is absolutely NOTHING anyone can say or do to convince me that they didn't change the script out of nowhere. NOTHING. Again, taking out the interviews and all that nonsense, just the narrative itself! The entirety of 6A and the charged energy between Kevin and Madison, his jealousy, his care for her, etc. All down the drain.

There is no sense, no rhythm, no logic to it all to just throw away such a significantly built relationship between two people, for all of the parallels and symbolisms that were EXPLICITLY said (still thinking about Miguel and the "written in the stars together" one) only for them to just go oh yes, the other actress is available, I guess we can veto all that we've built so we can stick to "our plan", whatever TF that was anyway because none of it is believable anyway.

JH was gaslit as the rest of us.

Now, in response to your "alone without feeling lonely" comment that he made, I feel that it could've gone either way like that could've happened after his episode 8 before they did that damn FF and just married off Madison like it's nothing. Or it's still to come between the years of Kate's wedding and the cabin flash-forward with a dying Rebecca. Either way, since it's not gonna be Mads anyway, I don't give a flying F.

#what a load of rubbish isn't it!#shock for the sake of shock!#eeek #even those who still ship him with someone at this point like why do you even bother #when none of it will be satisfying anyway #it's just crapola all around lol #anyway stan madison (and beth) for clear skin #thanks anon #ilyyyy #<3 <3 <3 #kevison #kevin and madison #anon #ask

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maemiller420 · 3 years

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Seriously tho if you have a net worth then i just assume you're a selfish piece of crapola.. net worth means that's how much money you just sitting on that's currently doing NOTHING! like first of all, you're rich and have all your bills paid for, enough food (and good food) to eat three meals a day comfortably, have all your utilities hooked up in your house (obviously, i mean i don't because we can't afford it but fuck it) and i assume your fams taken care of for life yet, for example, DRAKEs net worth is over $150 MILlIOn dollars.. are you serious bro what the fuck you gonna do with that? just let it sit there?? because you do realize that if you wanted to cash all that shit out you wouldn't be able to because the government is using you and every other celeb.. If just ONE famous person started encouraging us citizens to stand up for ourselves and contributed their whole net worth to that, our country would be changed and the majority of people would be down because what's going on now is bull shit.. and since every single famous person is showing their true colors (lol naz x) i guess it's up to me, someone with literally nobody on my side but like 1 or 2 ppl.: is going to have to social media the fuck out of myself to get my voice heard and change the world because we can do it we just have to actually want to and realize that it may mean we have to go on strike with a few things and change your life style a bit but the end result will be complete freedom and i promise you that the world is going to be a better place.. but we need to realize also that it's us against the leaders that are currently leading and we can't be pussys and be scared of a few damn cops because that's what's they're trying to do make us scared of them and no fight back.. but fuck that shit i'm not letting myself get pushed around thank you

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crewneck · 6 years

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hey sara, how was your week?

ahh it was ok! pretty boring and just the usual ~crapola~, nothing fun or amusing to report. i pulled a muscle in my leg which had me hopping around (and nearly falling bc my leg gave out on several occasions. watch me while i collapse at the cheese counter in kroger, y'all). im staying home all weekend with a heating pad on it so it can heal lol good times. tho my infirmity has given me the chance to finally watch strong girl bong-soon. it's a pretty good show so far!! :-) thanks for asking, anon. hope your week was swell.

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satellights · 7 years

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Obligatory “I just had top surgery!” post/on having top surgery after having already had a reduction/on being trans and having to deal with medical professionals and such

PS: This is copied word for word from my reddit post, so apologies that it is not tailored to tumblr...I just can’t be bothered lol.

So just had top surgery! Thought I would write about my experience. I've seen at least one person on here who said they were looking into the surgeon I went to (Dr. Melvin Maclin in St. Louis, MO), as well as people who have been interested in getting a reduction, but worried it would make it impossible for them to have top surgery...I just had top surgery after having had a reduction two years ago.

I had top surgery with the same surgeon, and at the same surgery center I that I went to for reduction surgery. There were a few little things that have been different in comparison to the reduction surgery though, that I will talk about. Also, while no one was rude, inappropriate, or transphobic, there were two nurses who asked things relating to me being trans, one for an actual medical reason, and one just out of curiosity/to make conversation. I also have no idea who of the other people involved in my surgery actually knew I was trans (like the anesthesia team, etc). My surgery was written up on the papers as surgery for gynecomastia, so unsure who all knew it was actually top surgery lol.

An unrelated to surgery note: Dr. Maclin is the coolest dude. We have basically the same tastes in movies and pop culture. After my reduction surgery I gave him a figure of a Toho monster, as well as a dvd of this silly Japanese movie that involves like a robot, aliens, and just loads of wtf-ness that I knew he'd enjoy. Today he gave me a dvd of two Godzilla movies, and a Studio Ghibli film (surprisingly one that I had not ever seen...I thought I had seen them all lol). I have the first book of a Doctor Strange anthology that I finished recently, and plan to give him at my post op appointment.

**top surgery compared to reduction surgery on day of surgery**

With reduction surgery my parents came in with me from the start. With this surgery a nurse took me back to get me prepped, and then went out to bring my dad in to me. During prep for reduction, Dr. Maclin came in and drew his lines on my chest before the nurse did any other prep. However, today with top surgery prep, the nurse did all her prep like putting IV in and the things on my legs and such *and then* Dr. Maclin came in to draw his lines. It seemed like kind of a weird order to me, but whatever lol. With reduction surgery I had the IV in my left hand, but today I had it in my right. Because I had the IV put in before he drew the lines, when he needed me to do things like push my hands together to help show him where my chest muscles were I couldn't really do that with the IV in, but we figured it out and I was able to kinda flex my arms in the right way. The rest of prep was basically the same as before. Last time I just talked very briefly with one anesthesiologist, she asked the usual questions. However this time, it was like the whole anesthesiology team lol. I talked to the main anesthesiologist first, he asked his questions, explained in detail step by step what was going to happen with that (like we wheel you to the OR, put a mask on, put the stuff in your IV, once your out we put the tube in, then this is what happens while you're waking up, etc), which was really nice. I don't think they explained it all like that to me last time. Later during prep, two anesthesia nurses came in to ask the same questions, and ask if I had any questions. I got an antinausea pill just like I did last time. However, with the reduction surgery I think I had a lot of drugs put in my IV before ever leaving the prep room, and really don't even remember being wheeled out of it, and don't remember anything in the OR. This time I was like totally with it and awake while being wheeled to the OR, while scooting to the table, met another nurse there, and only very very vaguely remember the mask being put on me. Unlike last time, I woke up while still in the OR, but after all of surgery was over (so not like I woke up by accident lol, the anesthesia team intended for me to be on my way to waking up by that point). I woke up as they were just about to zip up the post op binder vest on me. One of the anesthesia nurses said they were going to put me back to the wheely bed, and not to help them (they didn't want me to move myself). When I got back to the recovery room, I was like wide awake, and I had to pee SO BAD. Like I don't know how tehfuk I was able to hold it while I was under, but I guess somehow I did. But I had to wait a little while (like about an hour), while my need to pee continued to increase, until I was finally able to go to the bathroom lol. With the reduction I stayed at the surgery center overnight, but with this surgery I was able to go home after having been awake for 1-2 hours. With reduction I had just drains, and they got taken out the next morning. With top surgery they stay in a week, and I also have a wound vac for that week as well. I don't think I really got any meds in my IV aside from anesthesia stuff, whereas with the reduction I had pain meds and valium in my IV before and after surgery. Immediately post op with the reduction, my arm mobility was really bad, and the pain was bad enough to need the prescribed pain meds. Today immediately post op I actually have a ton more arm mobility than I thought I'd have, and the pain is there of course, but it's mostly bearable, and pretty much up until right around now it felt like just muscle pain. It's only just now that I'm starting to feel some pain from pressure on the incision areas.

**on being trans and having to deal with medical professionals and such**

So it wasn't until I was all prepped for surgery, but before Dr. Maclin had come to draw his lines, that the nurse was basically like "oh wait...I need to get a urine sample" so we had to go over to the bathroom. We went in and closed the door, and it was once we were there alone that she asked me "you still have a uterus right?" and apologized and explained that it meant they'd still have to do a pregnancy test. Personally I just found it kind of amusing, but it also made me really curious who of the personnel there knew I was trans. Every person of the anesthesia team asked what name to call me. I don't think this had to do with me being trans at all, and just that the name I registered with the surgery center was actually a nickname of my legal name lol (my legal name is my new changed name, so didn't have to have my birth name on anything during any of this). They explained they ask that of everyone in case they need you to respond while you're still mostly under/half asleep, and they want to address you by a name you will be the most likely to respond to immediately lol. But for some reason them asking me this still felt a little like *"because you used to respond to a totally different name because you changed it because you're trans"*, but it still didn't really feel hurtful or anything. Then later in recovery when the nurse was taking my IV out, like she did when she was putting it in before she tried to make small talk to distract me. This time however, she started asking about me being trans. While I had no real problem with it, or with talking to her about it, it still felt weird because it came out of nowhere. She asked how long I had been transitioning. I told her how long I'd been on T, and how long I'd been out before then, but told her I couldn't actually remember whether it was two years or three years ago that I came out to my parents lol. She asked if they were supportive, so I talked about that a little, and explained while they weren't unsupportive at all that this has all still just been one big learning experience for them it seemed. She went on to say something like "yea, some parents wonder what they did wrong, and it's like 'you didn't do anything wrong'!" which made me smile, and made me feel good to know that her saying that meant she was most likely pretty supportive of trans people in general. After I talked about how long I've been out she asked me like "yea, but how long have you *known*?" which personally I found kind of rude of her to ask cos like that's kind of a *too* personal question sometimes. But still I didn't really have any problems with talking to her about it. She asked if I knew as a kid, and I explained I'd known ever since I learned about what being trans was and how I related to it 100% right in that moment that I was reading about what it was, but that when I look back there are definite signs in my childhood of me being trans, and had I known it was a thing back then I would have fit the trans as a child narrative.

Everyone gendered me correctly the whole time I was there. Even my dad which I was surprised about. He almost said she once, but switched to he after like 0.2 seconds of the "sh" sound coming out lol. My dad tends to just take ques from others around us if we're together. If the other people are calling me he, then my dad will do. But of course this sucks, when we're around people who have a hard time with pronouns and still automatically use she (like my dad's best friend does, and like my mom does).

Anyway, if anyone has any questions about any of this stuff, feel free to ask. I'll try my best to answer. Unlike with the reduction surgery, I for some reason don't feel like total crapola this time around. Last time I felt like the anesthesia did a real major number on my brain and I became a total dud, but today I'm feeling like I can actually concentrate on things like reading and writing and I think that's just totally wild lol, so I think I should be capable of answering any questions and such.

To those of you who are interested in hearing about having top surgery after having already had a reduction, at what points post op top surgery would you like updates on the differences in the healing/recovery process? Maybe every week? I will try and keep notes so I can share them with you all periodically through the next year, because I know there have been a lot of people around here who have been really interested in getting a reduction before top surgery, but are worried or don't know what to expect.

#mine #surgery #top surgery #trans #transgender #transmasculine #ftm #march 28 2017 #transition

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