#it's like you're an imaginary friend but also you're pretty real

[lennadanvers]

Eddie Munson is a loser: he doesn't stand a chance to be with you. He's also a coward sometimes, so he doesn't dare ask you out.

He also has some virtues: his imagination, for example. It's taken him places, and has taught him a valuable lesson: if life isn't the way you want it, you can make it. In your head.

I mean, people believe what they want to. Some believe in God, and they have as much evidence as he has of his fantasy scenarios. They also help him endure life, so it can't be that bad.

Or, Eddie fantasizes about all the ways he wants you to be in his life.

I'm so tempted to make this into a series with all the times he likes to imagine the reader is with him.

Edit: this but Eddie pined for you his whole last year(s) of high school, and now that he managed to graduate he still looks for you everywhere. He still wishes you'd give him the time of the day, and still regrets not being brave enough to ask you out back then. But also under no circumstances is he going to go looking for you now. He can just pretend you're there, it's easier.

Did it :)

#it's like you're an imaginary friend but also you're pretty real #he still needs the emotional support #emotional support fantasy #eddie munson #eddie munson x you #eddie x reader #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x female reader #stranger things #fanfiction #he needs a break #he needs it

[mysecretlittlelibrary]

Take What You Give

Pairing: Nightcrawler x Reader

Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings: fingering, hella dirty talk, pet names, oral (f receiving), multiple orgasms, overstimulation, DP kinda- it's with his tail so there's that, praise praise praise, unprotected p in v, creampie, kinda cockwarming also- I think that's everything lol

Genre: smut with the tiniest bits of fluff

Summary: after a dreadfully boring date you know the perfect way to unwind

A/N: Someone on tiktok called Nightcrawler community dick and this idea popped into my head because of it lmaoo

***

You're bored. You're on a date with the least interesting person you've ever met in your life and oh GOD you are bored. You feel bad, he's cute and seems like a nice person but none of your conversations have been stimulating this whole time. You're trying to give a real and honest chance before you quit on this and leave. Although you'll admit you're already making plans for after this date so maybe you've checked out at this point. When he starts telling a story about a nightmarish party his college roommates held years ago you practically leap from your chair.

"Sorry to interrupt, I need to use the restroom." You tell him. You don't wait for him to respond before you rush off to find the bathroom. You allow yourself five minutes to come up with a plan ultimately setting a timer before heading back to your table. "Sorry about that. Please, continue." You say with a smile.

"All good?" He asks.

"Yes. Thank you." You say and he continues his story. Twelve minutes later, the alarm on your phone goes off. "Hang on let me just- sorry I have to take this." You mutter angling your phone away from his view as you fake a phone call. "Hello? ... No I'm out, why is everything okay? ... what?! ... Do you need me to come and get you? ... don't be silly of course I'll come. I'm on my way, alright? ... See you soon. Hang in there." You pace out your responses to your imaginary call. "Dillan I'm so sorry my friend is- in a bit of trouble and really needs my help. I hate to bail but it can't wait." You grimace as convincingly as you can.

"Is everything alright? Do you need-"

"I'm alright. We'll take care of it. I just have to go now, but tonight has been fun. I'll call you!" You say standing up. You will not be calling him.

"Yeah I had a great time. I hope things with your friend turn out fine." He says standing with you. You leave the restaurant with one more muttered goodbye and roll your eyes once you're down the block. Time to solidify your plans for the rest of your evening. You dial the number you haven't used in some time- a few months you think but no matter.

"Liebling." His voice is a little breathless when he answers.

"Hi Kurt." You say.

"It's been a while." You can hear the smile in Kurt's voice.

"I'm a busy woman Wagner and you have quite the schedule yourself. Are you engaged for the evening?"

"I can make myself unengaged."

"Don't trouble yourself Kurt."

"For you my dear it's never trouble. When do you want to see me?"

"Whenever you can unengage yourself and get here is fine. I'm not in any particular rush." You tell him.

"I'll see you in an hour. Ish. Be ready."

"Already am." You say suggestively before hanging up the phone. You catch the beginning of what, knowing Kurt, was probably a swear and you chuckle to yourself as you make your way home.

At home, you take off your makeup and the dress you wore and change into some pretty lacy lingerie. Kurt is quite fond of your collection, he says taking them off feels like unwrapping a present he's been dying to receive for months. He's quite dramatic, but you don't see him often so it's easy to enjoy giving him that little treat when you call on him. It's not yet an hour later when he materializes in your bedroom where you're reading leisurely.

"Hello darling." He smiles.

"You're early." You match the grin on his face.

"I said 'ish' plus I hate to keep you waiting." He shrugs.

"Always so sweet to me." You hum marking your place in your book and placing it on the nightstand beside you.

"Do you work tomorrow?" Kurt asks.

"No." 

"Good." He says and then he's over you, holding himself up with one hand while his other cups your face. "You smell of cologne."

"Bad date." You mutter tugging him down to connect his lips to yours. The kiss doesn't last long, you feel him smile against your lips before pulling away.

"Happy to help you forget about it darling but you should call on me more often if you're feeling lonely." 

"If you're worried I'm replacing you Kurt don't be. You'll always be my favorite." You wink at him pulling him in for another kiss. This one he doesn't break, his tongue slipping into your mouth, dominating the kiss quickly. His hands are up your sides nails slightly dragging against your skin enough to send shivers through you. You back away from him enough to tug his shirt over his head, sliding your fingers down his patterned chest.

"I'll always be your favorite hm?" He smirks kissing down your neck.

"Of course my shadow jumper." You whimper when his mouth focuses on a spot against your throat, one of your hands sliding into his hair.

"You know you're my favorite don't you liebling?" He hums into your skin.

"Never had a doubt." You giggle.

"Good girl." His lips trail further, kissing the swell of your best just over the edge of your bra. "I think this might be my favorite set on you too by the way." He says sitting back and pulling you with him so he can unhook the lacy number.

"You say that every time you're here Kurt." You remind him.

"Every time I'm here you unlock a new type of perfection." He winks dipping his head to wrap his lips around one of your nipples as he lays you back against your pillows.

"You're such a flatterer." You say jokingly but a moan punctuates the sentence as Kurt's teasing tongue against your chest tugs at something deep within you. Your back arches towards him your fingers burying themselves in his hair again. Kurt's tail slides up your leg, making you squirm even more and he uses the extra appendage to pull your panties down your body. That tail wraps around one of your ankles, keeping your legs spread for the hand that slides down your abdomen. When his fingers reach the apex of your thighs you're breathing hitches before he's even touched you.

"Always so ready for me, pretty girl." Kurt chuckles. He plunges two fingers into you quickly, curling them in just the right way to have you grinding against his hand. His fingers pump in and out of you with deliberate thrusts, stretching you for him. "Heaven help me, you're absolutely soaking." Kurt hisses, your juices flowing over his hand.

"Fuck babe- I'm close." You pant out, arching into his hand as you chase your end.

"That's it liebling, let go for me." Kurt coaxes softly before leaning forward to take your clit between his lips. He sucks harshly on the bundle of nerves and the sudden stimulation sends you over the edge with a whine. He works you through it with gentle licks and slow pumps of his fingers, watching the way your face shifts between the stages of your pleasure. When you let out a long albeit shaky breath he pulls away, knowing that loud unsteady release of air means you're back in your body. "Oh how I love making you do that." He says pressing a kiss to your lips before placing his sticky fingers into his mouth. The groan he lets out at your taste flooding his tongue is pornographic. There's no other way to describe it, and a fresh wave of arousal washes over you at the sound. You watch him clean his fingers with a darkened look that he relishes in. That carnal desire in your eyes focused solely on him, he'll never get tired of it. When the essence of you no longer coats his digits he pulls them out with a satisfying pop.

"Skipping your usual protocol today?" You ask with a teasing smile. You'd have no qualms if he did but Nightcrawler is one of those makes you cum a dozen times for his own enjoyment types who has never passed up the opportunity to eat you out before fucking you.

"And allow the sweetest nectar to go to waste? Don't insult me." He scoffs shifting himself to lie between your legs. He wastes no time pulling you towards his waiting mouth and allowing his tongue to dive into your center. Your fingers are in his ink-colored hair moments later, desperate to ground yourself as he devours you like his final meal.

His tongue thrusts in and out of you, slurping the juices that spill from you, moaning as your arousal washes over every inch of his mouth. The sounds from him reverberate against your skin only furthering your madness as Kurt takes you apart one lick, one slurp, one suck at a time. When your legs begin to shake, he brings his hands up to hold your thighs still, digging his fingers into the flesh there as he feasts. Your first orgasm on his tongue meets you with a loud moan and barely contained thrashing that does nothing to slow Kurt. You jerk against his still seeking mouth, but his hold on your thighs simply tightens as he continues his onslaught.

"God! Kurt- please!" You cry out though you're not sure if you're asking him to stop or continue. As if it matters, Kurt will go until he's satisfied which with him could literally be hours. With Kurt there's no such thing as too much, he can go and go and go shattering you into a million pieces just to put you back together so he can do it all over again. And you let him. You relish in the bite of overstimulation that soon melts away to pure pleasure again as his tongue forces another orgasm from you. This one takes you by surprise as you pull at the strands between your fingers, your body convulsing harshly.

Kurt's eyes meet yours and he winks at you as he pulls you tighter against his mouth. His tongue focusing now on your too sensitive clit. You writhe against him, caught between escaping and searching for more as you squeal from his ministrations. When a scream Kurt would describe as piercing falls from your lips and your third orgasm coats his tongue he finally gives you a break, working you through your release before sitting up.

"When I asked if we were skipping your protocol it wasn't a challenge." You eventually huff at him, once your chest stops heaving so hard you thought you'd never get enough air in your lungs.

"Tapping out already? I've given you much more in one go before. Perhaps I should be checking on you more often liebling." Kurt smirks as he wipes his face.

"Tapping out? Before you've even fucked me? It's like you don't know me at all anymore sweet one." You tease back.

"That's my girl." Kurt chuckles shucking his pants off before sinking into you. Between your breathless moan and the feeling of your walls pulsing around him Kurt can't help but groan when he bottoms out. He holds still for a moment allowing both you and him to adjust to your heat swallowing his length. With a deep breath, his hips rock back, almost all the way, and then he thrusts into you so harshly that he shifts you on the bed. He settles his hands on your hips then and sets a brutal rhythm, his hips snapping against yours relentlessly.

"Holy- fuck." You grit out, tossing your head back against the bed. Kurt always fills you to the point where it's almost too much, you can feel him everywhere somehow but oh how you love it. Your nails scrape down Kurt's back as you cling to him while he fucks you ruthlessly.

"So good. You feel so good liebling." He huffs out between his thrusts.

"So do you, god- you fuck me so well. Fill me so nicely."

"I know I do pretty one, this pussy loves taking my dick. Does it so well each time. Isn't that right baby?"

"Yeah- yes- love it so much." You whimper when Kurt's tail slips between your bodies and finds your clit. The extra appendage is as dexterous as his fingers and the swollen bundle of nerves reacts to it the same way, luring you to another orgasm that has you shuddering in Kurt's arms. His tail continues to poke around near where you and Kurt are joined, his hips not slowing even with his tail in the mix. It's something he's done before, not often- but it seems tonight he's pulling out all the stops. The tip of his tail is gathering your wetness, covering itself to prepare for entering you at the other end. Kurt lifts your hips further into him, holding you high enough for his tail to get under you and slowly prod your ass.

"Gonna stuff you proper tonight." Kurt mutters before his tail breeches you. Your gasping whine at the sudden intrusion only fuels Kurt more. His tail quickly matches his hips in rhythm filling you in both holes, clouding your mind. You're a mess of moans and whines as Kurt has his way with you. He pulls one or two more orgasms from you before he's spilling into you with a roar. He doesn't even bother pulling out before lays beside you and pulls you tightly against him. He kisses your forehead softly and whispers something in German that you don't know the meaning of. It's fine he'll be here a while. With Kurt it's never one and done. He'll pull more orgasms from you until you've completely lost count, until all you know is his name and the pleasure he's giving you, until the world has been flipped on its axis and you along with it. It happens every time and that's exactly why you call him when you do.

***

#marvel #marvel fanfiction #nightcrawler #nightcrawler fanfiction #nightcrawler smut #nightcrawler x reader #kurt wagner #kurt wagner x reader #other marvel characters

[factual-fantasy]

27 ASKS! :D FANK U! :}}} 💖

Ah! That I did. I mistook them for a bot.

Folks, you gotta put a unique profile picture of some kind and at least put in your bio "IM NOT A BOT!!-" If you have all the default stuff artists like me will assume you're a bot and just block you on sight :(

Sorry about that- I unblocked your friend. And thank you! I'm glad you like my stuff! :DD

Well,, Seam has some permeant injuries too. :( Such as his missing eye and the scars around his neck and wrists that will never fully heal..💔

Between sci-fi or fantasy? I thiiiink I prefer fantasy. XD And no its not just becuase of my name-

(Post in question)

Looking back I didn't illustrate it super well- it was intended to be something less earthy, yes. Not straight black though, It was supposed to be a really dark red. It seems black.? But anything it stains is stained red. And it was supposed to be rather thick compared to human blood.

If I ever draw it again, I'll be sure to get it to look right next time <XD

@khoiazo

@thesleepyteen1214

:DD Thank you! I'm glad you like it! :}}

Now as for Peso. I think its impossible for Peso and Barnacles to have met as kids- not only is there that age difference,, But I thought that polar bears are from the Arctic, and penguins are from the Antarctic. On the other side of the planet!

None the less- if they somehow met, I don't imagine much would happen other than them potentially becoming friends. :0 Kwazii sure ain't going anywhere, he's sticking with Barnacles family!

Oh man, if Bibi and the gang were real they'd all be screwed.😔 I don't have what it takes to take care of them properly in the real world-

I imagine that the Deltarune crew only really stay in worlds that seem safe. So if it looks safe? They'll stay. And probably not think too much about all the weird critters running around <XD

Not sure how the FNAF guys would react. A world where imaginary friends come to life seems impossible! They might think the imaginary friends are actually animatronics-

The princess quest game wasn't implemented into any of my AUs,, sorry! <:/

I've seen the game floating around, though I don't really know what its about. Also I heard whispers of a potential controversy..? Idk I'm a bit weary of the game <XD

If Freddy had a problem where he started hoarding lost kids after hours? That would be horrible for the kids.. but pretty slick for Vanessa.. 👀

Aww! That's so cute! I love all the different names! XD Having someone to man/assist in the cupcake factory would be really cool/useful as well! :DD

@beryl-shade

I was thinking that no one else in the group other than Frisk remembers. But Jevil? He.. had some kind of reaction to it.

Like when the reset occurred, Jevil had this horrible spike of anxiety and he broke out in a cold sweat and shakes. But before he could even process what was wrong, Frisk swooped in and saved Seams life. Right after he was saved, the shaking and sweating began to subside.. huh, strange..

(The second question was answered in the ask right above this one! :} )

In the comic that I was intending to draw- we would see little snip-bits of most everyone's reactions.

Jevil reacted how you'd expect.. he completely broke down. Screaming and wailing over Seams body..

Frisk froze at first, but then turned on her heel and sprinted into the woods in order to uh.. reset. No screaming, no panic. Just dead silent, sprinting into the woods..

Goner kid was freaking out so bad over Jevil screaming that when she saw Frisk run.. all she could think to do was run after her. So she did..

We don't see Grillby's face, but you can see his hand light up greenish/blue and his coat burst into flames as he realized Seam is dead..

River and Spamton weren't really meant to be seen on screen. But you can see Asgore physically become more misty/unstable when Jevil started screaming..

You know? Maybe for the sake of everyone it was better that I didn't end up drawing all that <XD 💔

No no, nothing about tombstones. The Easter egg lies in this panel.. 👀

@snickerdoodlezz

F.. FANK U,,, 💖🍽

Thank you so much!! :D

As for my brushes? I just use the standard pencil brush set to 3.0 for sketching and line art. And I use the standard pen tool for coloring! :}

@youlikwjazz004

I have seen a decent sized chunk of Adventure Time yes! Although I don't really know the story and I definitely don't know all the characters,,

But out of the characters I do know? It would have to be Simon Petrikov! ✨ With Jake as a close second. Aaaand maybe Prismo as a 3rd placer? I don't know him too much but his design slaps and he seems really chill 😎

(comic in question)

As Freddy explains, he (and the others) had a "bug" in his system. Which made his eyes purple. (Although he wasn't aware that they were purple-)

And after he crashed on stage they reset his system. Wiping the "bug" from his programming. Turning his eyes blue again :0

@storylover2

I imagine that what ever it tastes like depends on my mood. Lately its probably tasted like when you just brushed your teeth and you eat an orange 😖

Also please do not eat my noggin I need that to art-

@ocinstituterep

It's been a while since I've thought about them.. 🤔 If we're using the same formula as I did before.. (the stories of the real life cars are translated to the characters).. then that means some of them aren't doing so hot <XD

We've got a few break downs, some are still broken down. A few sold to better homes.. and a few new (very old) comers! Some are back on the road and some are still on the road when they probably shouldn't be <XD

All in all, I'd say they're doin ok :}

@beelze-juicee

:DDD THANK YOU!! And don't worry, I'm sure I'll come back to it every so often. Even though I'm a bit weary of this fandom.. I cant help but love the characters and want to draw them sometimes XD

(Kirby family in question)

<XD Sorry, no can do! I'm glad you like them! And thank you! But I'm afraid my blessings cannot be purchased.. <:/

@ninaandthegames

Yooo that is the coolest dog I have ever seen 😎

:D Thank you! And I'm not currently into any animes.. although there are some that I attempted to watch and liked for a while :0

Such as Kirby right back at ya and My hero academia! :0

@elegysonnet @willthemechanist (Post in question)

XD He's just embodying his spirit animal. A narwhal ✨🦄🐟✨

#my response #factual fam #octonauts #fnaf security breach #undertale #deltarune #transformer ocs

[absolutebl]

Hi.

I was watching TharnType for the first time. I started wondering why people have issues with gay for you and wifey and other things like that. From what I'm seeing it isn't intended in a harmful spirit. It's not received badly in the show in context. I'm not just specifically talking about TharnType but just these tropes in general. I was wondering if someone, the writer/screenwriter, director, any actor or someone else said that they'd intended it as demeaning or in a bad way... I don't know if I phrased that correctly. But I guess I'm wondering what people are basing this on. Even UWMA's Pharm's entire demeanor. Before I watched it I'd read that he is too feminine and damsel in distress-y. But watching the show made me realize that he is traumatized. I noticed similar patterns with other shows as well. Is it audience interpretations?

BL Is a Mess of Really Damaging Stuff & You Probably Shouldn't Just Accept it

Because, if you do just accept it without thought, you're also being damaged. If you're gay, you're being taught a type of gayness that doesn't exist and will fuck up your expectations. If you're straight you're misinterpreting what an entire group of people are like (that's prejudice, FYI). And if you're somewhere in between you're learning really bad behavior patterns for your coming out and self actualization journey.

And no, I don't think you're capable of distinguishing fiction from reality, because you've just asked a question that patently demonstrates a burgeoning parasocial tendency. (And yes, parasocial relationships can and do form with fictional characters. Why do you think I am so terrified by KinnPorsche fandom and shipper culture?)

Here have some education, first one is free:

Imaginary Friends & Real-World Consequences: Parasocial Relationships (YouTube video)

But also, if you don't want me to rant about this, and you just wanted to justify your questionable taste, you should stop reading right now. I get it, denial is great! Go sail that river.

Here I am talking about the good BL can do. That doesn't mean I'm blind to its flaws.

Still reading?

Okay, well, now you asked for it.

And guess what, I'm not gonna sugar lube coat it.

Consider yourself Drunk Type lying in a bed and I'm Tharn's c*** shoving some dry BL reality into your a******.

Oh, don't like that image, do you?

Tough nuts.

Put yourself in my position. I don't wanna have to do this either.

Consider this a "BL narratives made me do it" post.

I'm not responsible for anything, I'm just an archetype.

I'll be your seme for today and you were all just "too cute" for me to resist and now you have to take some tumblr dub con...

But first:

Seme uke when it specifically conflates seme with "the man" and uke with "the girl" is old fashioned, anti-feminist, and anti-queer. Here's some of where I talk about it, but I talk about it a lot. Too much, some might say.

Pharm is a blushing maiden archetype character, I talk about it and what that means here:

It's sex negative. And a lot of it stems from internalized misogyny and ties to something called benevolent sexism. It's pretty rampant in BL.

Yes I think Pharm's behavior can be perceived as traumatized, but that trauma is brought about by In's past actions and the fact that In was punished (BY THE NARRATIVE) not just for being gay but for being a self-actualized pro-sex uke character.

There is a distinction being made between critical discourse over narrative versus how the characters behavior makes an audience feel (within the immersive experience of the drama). Some viewers care about this distinction, others do not.

I very much get why someone might like TharnType (I did) but actually also, you might want to think about why you like it despite the messages the narrative is sending... You might want to think about not just the characters in their little perfect romance world together, but consider if you were in the position of either of those characters how you would feel or behave.

And NOW the Dub Con Portion of tonight's BL party

Okay I was trying to be my usual semiseme-welcoming snark self but ya know what, let's be VERY FUCKING CLEAR HERE because I am jet lagged and tetchy....

We (the collective of BL critics here on tumblr) aren't always talking about WHAT is depicted so much as HOW it's depicted, and whether that HOW allows the WHAT to skate by without encouraging the audience to reflect on the damage the WHAT does to their own perception of what is romantic. Or what is queer. Or what is morally acceptable for decent human interaction.

Like thinking, for example, that it's okay for Tharn to RAPE Type while he is drunk.

Why on earth is that okay? It's NOT OKAY. It's just NOT!!!!

Did Type ask for it?

Did he dress too sexy?

Was his skirt too short?

Was he too much of a jerk?

Did he want it anyway?

Did he not protest enough?

Did he protest too much?

You gonna make that call for him, are you? You read his mind (apparently the way Tharn can?)

But SERIOUSLY.

What if you were actually in Type's position? Roommates with someone you didn't like who molested you when you were drunk. At home. In your own bed. What if that roommate didn't look like Tharn? What if your roommate were the wrong gender or body type or age or familial relationship (!) for your preferences? How would you actually feel?

Because if you're okay with this, really okay for yourself, you have a strong kink and you need to seek out the appropriate community or you are signing up for a very abusive relationship and likely an early death.

Can't put yourself in Type's shoes/bed?

How about Tharn?

Are you the kind of human who would molest a drunk person just because you desired him? Her?

Because they're homophobic and you want to punish them with your queerness?

Because they were a jerk to you?

You always get back at people by raping them?

You an old white dude putting your hand down secretary's shirts because they're just "too cute to resist"?

Why should you have to resist taking what you want? Who cares that there is a whole other human involved?

Grabbing ladies by the pussy any chance you get and bragging about it, are ya? Or is it somehow different or less damaging because TT is dude on dude?

So, are you gonna justify taking what you want and violating another person because they're the same sex?

Now who's being "gay for you"? This is going all the way into DL closet case "it doesn't count if it's with a man" territory.

Because if you are any of the above 8, please block me right tf now. (And... do I have a world leader to recommend for YOU to get into a car with.)

GAH!

Fucking TharnType.

Anygay...

I talk about dub con here:

My initial post about TharnType is here, but more recently here's us having a whole ThanType discourse unpacking Mame among other things as part of the BL movement both as a genre and as a fandom:

and here's an important article on rape culture in Thailand

Gay for you talked about here:

Wife language talked about here:

I'm gonna go watch some BL trash that, hopefully, doesn't have any rape in it. (You never know tho...)

Fuck me (consensually) I am so tired.

I'd drink but I did too much of that already this week.

Maybe I need to eat something.

Don't troll m,e just block me.

For heaven's sake please.

(source)

#ABL goes on a rant #sorry not sorry #could we please stop having this conversion #just try putting yourself into these characters shoes #for me? #also ARRRGGHHHHHHHHHH #thai bl #rape culture and misogyny and benevolent sexism and .... #I don't wanna think about this anymore so I'm not entertaining anymore asks on these subjects I'm just pointing people at this rant FOREVER #I watch BL to forget about this stuff

[sophieinwonderland]

I know an endogenic system is a system that is not caused by trauma, but what does cause an endogenic system?

Also, is there a form of system that is developed in adolescents/10-14 age range or teen years?

You'll get different answers depending on who you ask. Endogenic systems are a broad category each with their experiences and beliefs.

For one thing though, I personally think the mind is naturally inclined to be multiple, and that multiplicity is suppressed by society. You look at children, and many will describe so-called "imaginary friends" who are fully autonomous and acting outside of the child's control, as well as demonstrating a degree of self-consciousness. But the child is taught to not see these agents as real, and so they ultimately end up suppressed until they're forced into dormancy or fuse with the host child.

Essentially, you have children who are naturally multiple forced into being singlets, like how born lefties would be forced into using their right hand.

(Note: Not all imaginary friends demonstrate autonomy and self-consciousness. There are "Imaginary friends" who are fully autonomous, and then there are what I consider True Imaginary Friends that are entirely under the child's control.)

A couple years ago, I wrote up an overarching theory for how and why I think non-traumagenic plurality works. It's a pretty long read, and there's a lot I want to revise. (Which is why I don't have it listed on my pinned.) But you're welcome to check it out! 😊

#syscourse #plural #plurality #multiplicity #systems #endogenic #pro endo #pro endogenic #endo safe #imaginary friend #imaginary friends #system stuff #sysblr #plural system #system #endogenic system #tulpa #tulpamancy #actually plural #actually a system

[howtofightwrite]

So, I have a character in an urban fantasy setting who's a pre-teen child thrown into dangerous situations. Now, I'm well aware untrained kids don't do well, to put it lightly, in dangerous situations. The one advantage my character has is that they have overwhelming magical power they can't control. They also have a mentor who has a lax standard of safety since they lived the Child Protagonist lifestyle and they survived. What kind of dynamic would arise from this?

So there's a big problem here, and it's not the protagonist, so let's start with that.

Writing kids in urban fantasy is extremely tricky. A lot of the kinds of situations you'd normally work with can't incorporate a child. In most cases, your character can't really operate independently without other characters getting suspicious, and eventually involving the police or other authorities.

The bigger problem is the whole, “uncontrolled,” part of their overwhelming magical power, because that's a lie. They may not have direct control over it, but you do. Worse, your audience knows it, and by the time it matters, they'll have a pretty good grasp of how you're willing to use that power.

The trick to making these kinds of situations work is when the uncontrollable power is exercising its own agency in the story. It may be an actual character in its own right, or it may simply be an unknowable, idiosyncratic force. Now, with the setup you're suggesting, that can be downright horrifying, especially if the character isn't the protagonist. If you introduce a child into urban fantasy where their imaginary friend has very real, and very destructive, powers, that can be an extremely unsettling hook.

Actually, stepping back for a moment, magically empowered kids make fantastic villains in urban fantasy. They neatly sidestep the question of, “why don't you just double tap the monster in the back of the head with explosive rounds?” Because you can't do that to a kid, especially if they're not actively malevolent. (It's a little different when you're dealing with an unspeakable cosmic horror that's wearing the skin of a child like a worn out sock.) More than that, they have an incredible capacity for cruelty without regard for the consequences. A child with magical powers is scary as hell. (And I'm not just saying this because of that Twilight Zone episode.) If you isolate out their magical powers into a distinct entity that operates in parallel to the kid (again, the imaginary friend), that can get really horrifying, especially if it's unclear what the relationship between the child and the magical being is. There's even options here whether the magical force manifests physically (for example as an animated toy) or is entirely incorporeal.

As a protagonist, it's a lot more difficult. You have a character that simply doesn't have the capacity to fully understand the full nuances of the situations they're dealing with. If their uncontrolled magical powers are another character, (again, the imaginary friend comes to mind as an immediate template for this structure), then you start to open up options a bit, but you're going to be asking that character to shoulder a lot of the weight for the situations the child finds themselves in, and you are going to drastically undermine the threat your character faces. There's nothing wrong with the idea of a kid in an urban fantasy setting, who's accompanied by their benevolent (and very violent) shadow monster, but it's a very different dynamic from a kid with godlike powers and no concept of morality. Also, as a protagonist this dynamic can get tricky because the child, and monster, might identify non-malicious actions as threats. It's entirely understandable if the shadow monster rips apart a couple patrol officers because they scared, and tried to take, the kid, but if these are your heroes, this is going to be a bumpy ride. Also, this actually worse if you're not personifying their powers, because the kid might simply murder the cops, with magic, if they scared them.

Like I said, writing kids is difficult, unless you're interacting with them on a fairly regular basis. If you're not, I wouldn't recommend this. Child protagonists are doable. Child protagonists in urban fantasy are very tricky. Honestly, kids do much better in portal fantasy because of the genre conventions. Children as PoVs in urban fantasy is something I personally avoid, (and when I do violate that, it's more in the vein of a cosmic horror wearing a sock.)

Leading into the beginning of this question, it's kind important to remember: No one else knows your characters as well as you do. I don't know who your protagonist is. I've got a five word prompt, and no idea what you're doing beyond that. I can make guesses, but I can't even begin to articulate what kind of magical power your character might possess. Are they a wild mage? Are they possessed? Are they a werewolf? I don't know. These are problems when these are very real possibilities. And it's not like you can't do a very compelling story about an orphaned werewolf stranded in the city, hundreds of miles from the surviving members of their pack, with no idea how to navigate back to them. But, that's going to be a very different story from a kid who accidentally summoned a transdimensional shadow monster, and is now trying to help their new friend find a way home.

There's a lot of possibilities, but I don't know which ones you're looking for.

-Starke

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#Starke Answers #How to Fight Write #writing advice #writing reference #writing tips #urban fantasy #I missed the Mentor part of the question

[simm-mouse]

So how does needles come to life? Just force of will from nervous or from somebody's strange experiments?

You guys have done it now, now I'll never shut up lol

I've explained it before in a past post but I don't mind saying it again. Needles is similar to the imaginary friends in the Sims 3

They are both inanimate objects that will be seen as a living being from their owners, or in this cause creator. Only they can see their imaginary friend this way, as everyone else just thinks they're strange

They can also both move around on their own. As in Sims 3, the imaginary Friends tend to move around on their own if you're not paying attention. Especially when their kid went to school or somewhere outside the lot. Needles did this too, and it pissed Loki and Circe off, because they thought Nervous was fucking around. The Needles is literally just the flour sack with a face drawing on it that is used with family sims that have aspiration failure and have a mental breakdown

Since Nervous having a mental breakdown is pretty much a scripted event at the beginning of gameplay, I could see him having that flour sack around and seeing it as his actual child. Even when not in aspiration failure, because he's that mentally unstable.

Since Needles behaves like an imaginary friend, he can also become a real person. With the help of the imaginary friend metamorphium potion

It's an orangish brown liquid that could be made using the chemistry table with a high enough skill level. It's used to bring imaginary friends to reality. Pascal of course helped with this. Since Needles is supposed to be Nerv's son, he'll start out life as a little boy instead of the same age as Nervous, unlike imaginary friends. He started out two years old, because that was the age Nervous had him set to before the potion was created. He's supposed to be a year older than Tycho, so that is why he's 20, while Tycho is 19

#my bullshit #non art #Needles #Needles Curious #needles the flour sack baby #flour sack baby #Needles lore #I'm always open for more questions about my ocs😊

[kitkatopinions]

I think that V9 really just made me convinced that the friendship between Team RWBY is pretty out of obligation and that their friendships and relationships will not last with the possible exception of Ruby and Weiss. Like, the writers might continue on to make them 'bffs forever' with relationships we're supposed to think are perfect, but I really just think they barely even like each other.

Trigger warning for discussions of attempted suicide.

Ruby spends the entire volume going through a terrible depression and grieving over the loss of her friend and struggling with trauma and very clearly not okay, and meanwhile only one of her friends really seem to care and only when she's not distracted. Ruby then blows up that she doesn't want to be the leader anymore, doesn't want to be treated like she's perfect, doesn't want to be the one who provides answers, and basically admits that she feels like no one cares what she goes through. Then her friends don't do anything when a forty year old man screams in her face that she's responsible for all bad things, don't do anything but watch as she basically tries to kill herself after being tortured, don't care much after the fact, and then when she comes back, they all basically says she's perfect and would never be weak and announce they're still looking to her as a leader for all their answers.

Blake and Yang have never addressed any of their actual past issues and Blake became a completely different person and the doylist reason might be that the writers just changed her character but in universe it feels like she did that for Yang, but then in V9 Yang is pretty much just blowing off all of Blake's concerns while Blake tries to control Yang's temper for her by coaxing Yang like a mom with a toddler, they were forced into confessing their feelings for each other and what Yang said to Blake basically amounted to 'I think it's cute that you're a minority, also here's some incorrect things that indicate that I don't pay attention to you or your past as an abuse victim,' and then the little sister that Yang supposedly cares about killed herself after implying that Yang was ignoring her for Blake's sake.

As for Weiss's relationship with Blake and Yang, did they even talk outside of Weiss telling them that Ruby was going through too much and sharing eye-rolls about how exasperating the Ever After was? Weiss put way more work into her friendship with Jaune than them and basically acted like they were just her co-workers and she was Angela in the first season of the Office.

And you know what, let's include Jaune in this too, because despite the fact that Jaune was closer to Ruby than almost anyone for the majority of the show... This whole thing made me not believe in them as friends from here on in. Jaune screamed in her face victim blaming her for stuff that wasn't her fault while basically saying she has no right to feel anything bad, after Ruby dismissed the Paper Pleasers as imaginary, and Jaune is now young again but has spent like twenty years apart from her and it would only make sense for Jaune to care way more about a lot of different things and it seems like he has a lot of resentment towards her built up. And meanwhile, I have no choice but to think they're trying to set up White Knight but he's??? Forty in his head??? And also Weiss was one of the people dismissing him as an unreliable crazy person. Which Blake and Yang also did, and he'd barely talked to Blake and Yang EVER before falling into the Ever After, especially Blake. Their little group hug meant next to nothing when half of them had no real relationship anyway and if there's a romance between Jaune and Weiss I cannot and will not believe that it'd ever work out especially now that's he's like mentally twenty years older than her.

The reason why I think that Ruby and Weiss have a chance for their friendship to survive is because they both still act like they care and would be willing to admit when they've been wrong. I honest to god feel like if Ruby tried to sit Yang down and have a conversation about feeling like Yang's past actions hurt her, Yang would get defensive or just be like 'what are you talking about of course I love you' and then go on doing the same stuff she was doing in volume 9. Of course I don't think the writers are actually going to act like anything is wrong or that anyone in the team needs to change and adjust and especially not anyone but Ruby (who somehow managed to get partially thrown under the bus this season for the power couple and the fandom's best girl and best boy 🙄) But I really just feel like no matter how much longer they writers try to make us think they're close friends, I'm still gonna feel like a year down the road Yang and Ruby will have very little contact, Blake and Yang will have broken up, Jaune and Ruby will be fighting, Weiss will have fallen out with Yang and Blake, and Ruby and Blake will have an incredibly awkward 'let's hang out some time,' small talk infused conversation like once every two or three months, and that's it.

#rwde #tw; discussion of suicide #trigger warning; suicide #tw; suicide

[contentment-of-cats]

Part I

I cannot think of anyone I would rather have at my side, as we walk our measured miles down the winding road of life (yours being FAR more tenuous than mine) Nonetheless, here we are with you lighting the way as we navigate illness, cats, and fandom. Since you’re so old - ancient even (not so inside joke😆) I have the pleasure of accessing your - WHUT?!- 30 years of fandom activity.

Holy guacamole 🥑!

Welcome, my friend, as this is the first time I have had the pleasure of inviting you to my imaginary easy chairs over here at the Asker’s Studio™️ (cats are extra welcome here)

This is probably going to be in two parts. In this first installment, I would like you to give us your history:

How did you enter fan fiction?

What was the medium? Did you participate in Zines?

Please list the fandoms. What were your experiences/favorites?

Did you have anywhere like A03 to post your fics?

Do you still have any connections from back in the early days?

Included in your history, I would be curious to know if you attended any comic-cons, gatherings, etc.

Bonus: Is it true that in the early days, people used their real names?

***

We will end the first half with the overview. The second half of the interview will deal with the growing pains of Fandom: Censorship, Fandom lifecycles, Media transitions, pitfalls (Dark Fandom), and lessons learned.

This has been a long time coming. I’m thrilled to see it come to fruition.

Ahhh! It's great to find this in my inbox this morning. Thank you so much for asking me.

I'm so happy you're feeling better. The measured miles are thoughtful ones, and good for clearing out the crap, but also for finding out who is willing to walk them with you. I'm blessed to have you and other ride or die folks with me. Man, I am Old, not just Fandom Old, but within hailing distance of sixty! No sin in Old, there are a lot of folks who don't make it. I'm blessed there, too, to have the extra time that I do. Let me get comfy in that easy chair, sip my coffee and cuddle a cat.

How did you enter fan fiction?

I became aware of fan fiction and fan works when I was in middle school. My hometown had a great record store, and I'd go in on Fridays with my allowance and whatever kid-work money I had. My Walkman was a constant companion, and I'd buy cassettes and records, then go down the street to the newsstand for comics. One day, I went in and there was a Star Trek mimeographed 'zine - someone cut a mimeograph stencil and inked it. I picked it up, it was the same price as a comic book, but it had stories - some that I should not have been reading in middle school, but I did!

Side note. I remembered reading Spock: Messiah in a zine before it came out as a book. Everyone tells me that no zine would publish something that godawful

It's weird, but now I look back and think that it was someone working in a school. Could have even been one of my teachers. Photo copiers were huge and expensive back then, most schools didn't have them. Those zines were something I anticipated as a kid - and my mother trashed the lot when she found them. Of course, some never put out more than one issue, but the record store soon became the zine store.

I'd always told stories in my head as a kid, but I didn't start writing until I took a creative writing class as an extracurricular in high school. Fan fiction writing for me didn't enter the picture until the start of the internet (at $2.50 a minute on a dialup modem and pre-Windows 95) and I fell into fandom as an activity on Usenet. I think my first fanfic was a Skinner/Scully from X-Files about 1994. I wrote pretty regularly in that pairing, but the fics, the archives, and the e-Groups/Yahoo Groups are long gone.

What was the medium? Did you participate in Zines?

My first fics went to a Usenet group, and then after that to a Skinner/Scully e-Group. I submitted to a couple of archives, too.

I didn't participate in zines, but I did read whenever I could get my hands on one. I stashed them in the attic under one of the floorboards with my comic books and the bodice-ripper romances.

Please list the fandoms. What were your experiences/favorites?

Nancy Drew books were my first fandom. Little House on the Prairie books, too, but I really loved Nancy. Comics - Archie, Wonder Woman, Dr. Strange, and I casually read about a half dozen others. Of course I loved my Saturday morning shows. The after-school specials were too preachy and I hated them. I wished for a magic box to record all my shows so I didn't have to pick and choose - the betamax was out and OMG so expensive. Mom was not going to cough up that kind of money just to record cartoons and kids shows.

My first visual media fandom was Star Trek which I started watching when it was in syndication. I think I was seven or eight? I bought the books long into the early 80s. Space:1999 was next, Star Wars was after that. I know I picked up the zine before the movie came out. Battlestar: Galactica was a favorite and had its own zine.

Then there was a long lull where I was just too jammed with messy family stuff, school, and extracurriculars that kept me out of the house. At fifteen, I started a paycheck job. I didn't really get into being a fan again until ST:TNG, X-Files, and Heir to the Empire. I was in the Harry Potter and Black Butler fandoms, and also wrote in Doctor Who, Sherlock, and Star Trek's reset movie. Fandoms after that were Stargate (movie and SG1), ST:TNG, Babylon 5, Star Trek: Voyager, Sliders, Farscape, Firefly, all of the Star Wars original trilogies (do not talk to me about the sequels), some of the books, and naturally the two latest Thrawn trilogies. I've enjoyed The Mandalorian, Andor, the Bad Batch, and have idly been watching Rebels and The Clone Wars.

Did you have anywhere like A03 to post your fics?

Back in the Ancient Times, there was only Usenet. Then people started posting to e-Groups, Yahoo Groups, and Listserv. Public fanfic didn't really take off until people could make their own sites - think Geocities, Angelfire and so on. People made sites for their own fic, or started archives. Fanfiction.net came along in 1998 and was a HUGE development - anyone could post whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted to do it! You didn't have to submit to an archive, didn't have to format the html. You just uploaded it!

There were a lot of copycats, especially after FF.net went after the porn, but Live Journal gave the authors a place to post fic themselves, and have a social media interaction. It was heaven - until it wasn't. Archive of Our Own grew out of Live Journal and the repeated crackdowns on smut and slash and launched in 2008. I've been there ever since.

Do you still have any connections from back in the early days?

I still have one friend and collaborator that I've known since early 2000's. We talk most nights and have been through a lot together.

Included in your history, I would be curious to know if you attended any comic-cons, gatherings, etc.

Cons and gatherings always required resources that I never had at the same time. If I ever had the time or the money at the same time, I'd go. I used to go to Comic-Con in Pasadena back when it was just a comic and collector's show.

Bonus: Is it true that in the early days, people used their real names?

It depended on the circumstances. Almost everyone online used a pseudonym. In the 'zine days, the circles were smaller and many people used their real names, unless it was smutty.

#asker's studio #aaaaaaaaaaaa #fandom old #i forgot so much shit until you asked me about it

[lola-babylon]

Ryan Ross does not exist and I can prove it

Don't worry. He's not.

Ryan Ross fans continue to wait patiently for any sign of new music from him. Some loved his work in Panic at the Disco, some are huge fans of his solo releases and live performances captured on YouTube, And as long as you're into pretty looking guys, there's a Ryan Ross for every bisexual taste. Hold up. Is it not kinda weird that he looked so very different in every six month period?

Where is he, the prodigious beautiful boy whose creative vision propelled an early Panic at the Disco to their early fame? It's like it was never real.

It was never real. Ryan Ross does not exist.

"Ryan Ross" was only ever a dream, an alternative persona Pete Wentz created in 2004. Pete wanted to delve further into his adolescent experiences in song lyrics, but fearing the ridicule that would come if Fall Out Boy, now all well into their twenties, started exploring such themes, he brooded over what to do before deciding he could create a new band. He'd find young, talented performers for the positions of lead singer, drums and bass who would perform as themselves; but Pete would insert himself into the band via an avatar, a brooding, Chuck Palanhiuk reading lyricist who would exorcise Pete's teenage demons through the character of "Ryan Ross".

Pete drafted a back story for Ryan Ross - a young kid from Vegas who'd found solace in words and music - then scouted for young, unknown performers who could embody his Ryan Ross character. Any performer who would play the Ryan Ross character obviously had to be able to sing at least well enough to perform live harmonies, and to play guitar. But there are hundreds of young musicians with these skills. And whilst viewing yet another stack of videos of guitar playing 18 year olds who'd responded to the ad that simply asked for audition tapes from young admirers of Blink 182, MCR and FOB who were interested in playing guitar in a new band, Pete hit on an idea.

After all, if he cast an upcoming new performer as "Ryan Ross" in the new band he was putting together, and the band hit it big, surely that person would demand to be outed to the public as their real selves. The intention was always for any musician performing as Ryan Ross to sign an NDA as part of their contract, but Pete could envision a nightmare scenario two or three years into the hopefully successful career of the band he was putting together; a musician tired of the lie and wanting their own share of glory telling him "hey Pete, sure you write the lyrics, but it's me who is up on stage, playing the music, singing, on the magazines, in the webzines. I want people to know it's me, not this imaginary Ryan Ross character".

If that happened, no NDA would be worth as much as the outcry from the media and fans, as much as a musician who signed a contract as a naive teenager would demand as a seasoned performer with years of touring under his belt.

Realising this, Pete hit on the evil genius element of his whole scheme (and also a lyric for London Beckoned Songs About Money Written by Machines). There wouldn't be one Ryan Ross. Instead, from the time he first hyped up the band in blog posts in 2005, there would be a continually rotating cast of "Ryans": every few months, there would be a new skinny jeans wearing guitarist to take over the role of Ryan, to ensure that no individual "Ryan" would ever believe they had enough star power to pull the whole project down.

These are all pictures of the same person? Really?

With high school friends Brendon, Spencer and Brent, and the first of the "Ryan"s in place, Pete's Panic project hit the ground running. There's was even an adorable story of how Pete discovered the band when Fall Out Boy fan Ryan sent him his new band's demos via Live Journal - simultaneously an "it might happen to you" moment for the Milennial generation, and prompting baffled takes on what this internet thing means for music from older music journalists.

That origin story was the closest anyone got to pulling back the curtain on the Wizard of Emo. The true origins of Panic at the Disco - how and why Pete and Ryan actually made the initial connection that made Pete listen to a fan's demos, drive to Vegas to listen to their band barely able to play their instruments live, then sign said band on this slim basis - was a murky, kalaedoscopic story, "details shifting between each telling of the tale[...] details behind how they made contact, and what was said, are eternally changing and never told quite the same way twice". No wonder, when it entered the record on the basis of a Pete Wentz needing to obscure the truth, and a succession of Ryans reciting for interviewers someone else's memory of what never happened.

But the obvious part of the deception - the fact that "Ryan Ross" never looked like the same person from one season to the next? Pete could barely believe he got away with it, but he did. No one seemed to question it. Fans eagerly took up the myth of Ryan Ross, expanding on an invented history to begin Ryan's story from his birth in Summerlin, Nevada in 1986, despite that before development of the residential community commenced in 1988 Summerlin was empty land. Journalists who slept through the lectures on fact checking on their way through college added this (mis)information to their articles, further obscuring the record.

Initially shocked he was pulling the deception off, by the end Pete glowered at his success getting in away with it.

For the potential Ryans were not simply a series of lookalikes. Aside from musical skills and a willingness to subsume their identity in the face of endless touring and inane interviews, potential "Ryans" were mostly selected on finger length, and for their noses; every "Ryan" has a beautiful nose.

Each new Ryan was put through an intensive Panic boot camp; several weeks of learning the bands songs, memorising the back story of the band and Ryan himself, studying videos of the "standard" Ryan mannerisms before joining the band for rehearsals. With Pete himself having the final say, producers scouting for potential Ryans generally stuck to contenders from the south west USA to ensure a consistent accent; although vocal coaches worked with each "Ryan" to develop the trade mark mono tone, the brief experiment in hiring a British performer to play Ryan in 2008 nearly ended in disaster when he kept slipping into his native accent, which to Pete's eternal amusement has gone down in fandom history as the "real", American Ryan trying to sound English.

But even though the music press, and even the rabidly devoted fandom, never seemed to catch on to the fake Ryans, problems inevitably arose. It was easy to get 18 year old guitarists to agree to the stringent conditions required to be Ryan Ross; but despite that Pete allowed some leeway from the performers, allowing them freedom in their social lives and styling choices to reflect the maturing of a real young person, by the time 22 year olds were hired to be Ryan, fresh in on the scam they may have lacked the star power to use Panic to launch their own careers but they were still young men exposed to more money and adulation than they'd seen before, and some of them were making questionable choices.

By 2009, Brendon and Spencer were sick of the lies. They just wanted to continue the music. Pete Wentz saw how Brendon in particular had blossomed in skills and confidence through the years. He also saw the way the commercial winds were blowing - the introspective lyricism of "Ryan Ross" was out, to judge from the reception on its release of Pretty. Odd. On top of all this, "Ryan Ross" was now ostensibly 22; too old to sing about the trials of late adolescence, which had been Pete's reason for creating his Ryan alter ego in the first place.

Seeing the potential long term appeal in a Brendon-driven Panic, Pete told Brendon and Spencer to go forth as Panic at the Disco with his blessing...and let's never mention Ryan again.

Pete's scouting skills weren't impeccable. He let the original band bring along their friend Brent as bass player, despite his shaky skills and apparent lack of commitment. Brent may have played little part in the creation of the band's first album and definitely found touring not to his taste, and he was soon replaced with the far more talented and present Jon Walker, who already had a respectable pedigree in the Chicago scene that spawned Fall Out Boy. Jon participated, albeit reluctantly, in the Ryan charade, forming a close friendship and musical kinship with the last of the fake Ryans. When Pete informed the group that his dream of the fake Ryans was coming to an end, Jon decided to follow this last Ryan, forming the group The Young Veins. Whilst they both appreciated the musicianship, Jon grew increasingly frustrated with the Ryan charade, having to continue the lie of Ryan Ross as the last of the Ryans remained bound by the non disclosure agreement. With sales of the Young Veins debut album not matching the hopes of its creators, Jon left and the band split after just one year.

And thus ended the contractual existence of "Ryan Ross", creation of Pete Wentz.

Some think Brendon looks startled when Ryan is mentioned. It's not because Ryden was ever a thing. There was no Ry for Bren to Den with, just an ever changing cast of young musicians hired by Pete Wentz to be his avatar. When Brendon pauses now he's not lamenting his lost love. He's reflecting on the lie he had to keep up for years and thinking "wait, what was the official line again?"

The Ryan Ross character has been occasionally revived in recent years as a conceptual art project by the musician Z Berg, teasing an album that never arrives, with the role of Ryan in occasional public appearances performed by a few of the former Ryans who are in on the joke. The Ryan Ross character made his last public appearance in 2022, joining former Panic label mates Phantom Planet for a live performance of Do the Panic - a wink to long standing fans of PATD/"Ryan Ross" (and a song that sounds like a dual pastiche to Pumping on Your Stereo by Supergrass and Just What I Needed by The Cars; there really is nothing original under the sun).

There will never be a reunion of the original, "real" Panic at the Disco because the original Panic at the Disco was never real. There will never be a Ryan Ross album because there is no Ryan Ross. Maybe in some future memoir Pete Wentz will tell us all how it was done.

This post is satire. Please do not take it seriously. The real Ryan Ross, who is an individual, actual person, is alive and well and researching literature of the transition from medieval to middle English through USC. (Well, who knows but that seems like something he might do)

#pre split panic #ryan ross #brendon urie #this is a joke #shitpost #pete wentz #panic at the disco #Ryan Ross isn't real

[destinyc1020]

Danny's alters started with the creation of an imaginary friend (in Danny's case a twin) just like many little kids do, particularly those that spend a lot of time alone. Adam filled a void in him after his father left and his mom had to work more hours to support the household. But then the trauma brought forth by the repeated sexual assaults made the dissociation deeper, to the extent that Danny felt that he was not the one that was sexually assaulted, but his "twin" was. With time more alters appeared to fill needs for Danny's fractured self

Hmmm.... You know what Anon, that makes perfect sense! 🤔

It's true, kids make up imaginary friends all the time! It's not necessarily a sign of abuse or childhood trauma.

But you're right, Danny may have probably felt alone and like he needed a friend (especially with his father gone and his mom working so much), so he made up an imaginary twin brother, and his mom simply played along with it.

He seemed like he was bullied in school a lot 😔, so that was also another reason why he created a "protector" for himself.

I thought it was ingenious the way they started off with Jack in Ep6, and Rya was trying to pull Danny into the foreground. It made sense that all of Danny's alters are simply there to PROTECT Danny (the real person underneath), and that's what they've always been doing.... and most likely what most people who have DID might be experiencing.

Their alters are not necessarily to be feared, but more so a protective mechanism for the hurt person underneath. 😔 That was a pretty deep revelation for me while watching Ep6.

Even the subtle changes in Tom's body language, his accent changes, his eyes, the way he carried himself, etc.... just perfect 👌🏾

A lot of ppl think ppl with DID are "weird" or "scary", but this series is helping many I feel to realize that the alters with the different personalities, different accents, different body language, etc have really developed over time due to childhood TRAUMA, and the alters are there to protect the hurting individual underneath.😔

As someone who has a degree in Psychology, I LOVED this last episode, because I feel like it brought a depth and understanding to Danny's character that some might have been missing in previous episodes.

Again, idk how the critics missed all of this and just slammed this series so badly.... It's actually very interesting and fascinating to me.... but maybe that's just me lol 😄🤷🏾‍♀️

#TCR

[invisiblegarters]

Only Friends Character & Relationship Ramblings - Ep 11

Last week on Everyone (put a pin in that everyone, because I think we're having trouble with it) Here is Messy, Boeing was doing his best to mess with the reconciliation of Top and Mew. Top shut him down pretty fast because my man is smart and he doesn't want anything getting in the way of Mew forgiving him, but Mew entertained the idea a little too much for most of fandom to handle. I, however, thought it was very understandable if not entirely the best choice. Atom accused Boston of raping him and no one stopped to think that maybe that was a tiny exaggeration on the little weasel's part because apparently being a slut means one is capable of anything (okay yes also because of what he did with Top, but let's not pretend that's the only reason here) and I nearly blew a fuse. And Ray found out that his dad had hired Sand to get him off the sauce and in predictable Ray fashion flew off the handle about it, leaving Sand devastated. He later learned what we all should have guessed (although lbr some people really want to think that Sand is awful in any way they can, lol): Sand had the money practically forced on him and still returned it, because he cares more about Ray than he does about his bank account (this is wild to me as I care way more about my bag, but I repeat, that is not Sand at all. I repeat this because people seem to be having a problem getting that). Ray then actually decided to give his rehab thing a real chance and had a breakdown in front of an imaginary Sand that actually made me cry a little. I'm not made entirely of stone, people. Just mostly.

So full disclosure, the real reason this is coming so late is that I've been hoping that the longer I wait the less irritated I'll be, but unfortunately the reverse seems to be happening. So I guess we're doing this full steam ahead (ftr, the steam is coming out of my ears).

Also once again I'm not ranking because only two characters really pissed me off this week, so we'll just ramble and then I'll put the Sand part behind a cut because he's the one I have the most feelings about this ep (and also that is where you should stop reading to avoid my apparently unpopular opinions).

Character Rambles

Atom & Cheum. I'm just gonna get these two out of the way because they are the ones that irritated me and since I've been banging this fucking drum for so many weeks that we're probably all very tired of it now. I do not know what the hell is up with this show when it comes to this stupid "Boston SAd me" plot, but I don't think I like it. Actually, I know I don't like it. I did say that I understood where Cheum was coming from in part last week and I stand by that, but the least Boston deserves from her is an apology for the way she came at him now that she knows it isn't true. But I doubt he'll get it. Or if he does it'll be the same bullshit he got from Nick - well what can you expect when you're like you are? The poor lad was just dickmatized, give him a break. NO. The idea that Boston needs to give someone e break for accusing him of rape boggles my mind, as does the constant implication that he's somehow earned all of this because he sleeps around. And no, I will never shut up about this.

I suppose at least Atom seems to realize that what he did was supremely fucked up, but I'm not sure it really matters when everyone is rushing to act like it's just one of those things that happens, and at least he learned something new about himself (looking at you, Cheum, because don't think I've forgotten you literally accused Boston of turning him gay last episode)!

I have said it before and I'm sure there will be a whole rant about it next ep, but the entire attitude towards Boston's promiscuity really puts me off. It's not the characters, either - a lot of people have some really fucked up ideas about sex and purity and morality - it's the show itself. There are ways to have the characters doing or believing things that the narrative explicitly disagrees with - hell, Jojo has done it before - so the fact that they really don't seem to be doing that here makes me feel like whoever wrote this agrees that Boston kind of deserves what he gets. And I am not a fan of that line of thinking. Even if Boston were truly as reprehensible as everyone thinks he is, it still doesn't make it right to do the things people keep doing to him. That line of thinking is insane to me. And honestly a lot of the problem I have here is that the show keeps explicitly conflating his promiscuity with being a bad person. Over and over again. It's never about the other shitty things he's done, it's always about him sleeping around. I hate it.

Boston. Since we're here, lol. I still love him. His journey has been the most fascinating one for me as we've gone on, mostly because it's been in increments. I said this last week, but Boston has been taking slow, steady steps to growth this entire time - and IMO it has very little to do with sex (but more on that later). This entire show has been a journey of Boston coming to terms with some of his less savory habits - breaking things because he can, not respecting or maybe not understanding that his way of doing things is not the only or best way, etc - and deciding how he wants to handle them.

This isn't me saying Boston is utterly wrong or whatever - you'll never hear that from me. He's an asshole in many ways though, and there is a part of him that has come to question why, and to maybe think that there is a better way of handling himself than he has been. He's also slowly gone from being very "I'm going to care about me and get mine" to thinking more about others - not saying he'll ever be the type of person that cares overmuch beyond a few set people and I don't think he'll ever stop putting himself first, nor do I necessarily think that's a bad thing, but he's definitely started to factor other people's feelings into his actions more. Maybe understanding more now that even if he's not necessarily wrong, he doesn't need to be quite so blunt force about everything. I think it's gone mostly unnoticed because there are others who are making changes with big displays, while Boston's have been almost entirely internal and only reflected on occasion through is discussions with Nick. It really struck me last episode and it continues to strike me as we go on, and I'm into it. Also Neo has just been killing this role. I can't get over how good he is.

Nick. Speaking of growing, this is the first ep where I really realized just how much Nick has done. I really hope that growth includes never bugging his fuck buddy's anything again, but I'm not entirely hopeful about that since his go to to catch Atom out in his lie was to entrap him via video recording. Sigh.

He was enjoyable for the most part this ep. I don't like him telling Boston not to be mad at Atom but I do completely understand Nick feeling some sort of kinship with him. Both of them fell for Boston after just one time, lol. That said, there was this look on his face when it was mentioned that Atom only fell for Boston because he was his first, and it makes me wonder if he was coming to a few realizations himself.

Top. TOP! I just loved him this episode. I have said before that he would be perfectly within his rights to tell Mew that enough was enough, and I was happy he did this episode. I thought he was very mature about it, actually - he knows he fucked up, he's known it pretty much since it happened and he owns that, but he's not wrong in saying that if Mew can't stop punishing him they will never work. It's very clear to me that he desperately wants it to - he is all in on Mew - but I liked that he said he'd walk away if Mew couldn't find it in him to forgive him.

Mew. I said that I understood his pettiness and I meant it, but I'm also glad it ended this episode. Look, I get the need to hurt someone who hurt you, and I very much get the petty urge to keep doing it until you're satisfied. The problem is that sometimes you just keep doing it, you push and hurt and hurt and push even past the point where it even feels good anymore because ultimately, you can't get over it, and it just breaks everything. Love and hurt and maybe a little bit of hate are warring inside Mew, and yeah, it feels good at first to hurt back.

But I think he came to the realization in this episode that his need to strike back at Top really wasn't worth losing him, because for better or for worse Mew loves him. He had to make a conscious choice this ep to actually forgive Top for what he did, and I think he rose well to the occasion. I really liked that he made sure to warn Top that he might bring it up again when they fight to hurt him - it's not pretty, but it's very self-aware, which I have come to expect from Mew. He might get hot headed sometimes but when he decides to reflect he doesn't fuck around. See too his acknowledgment that he probably won't be Top's last boyfriend, but that he wants to try with him anyway.

I also enjoyed how easily he dismissed Boeing and how little he let him get in his head, but to be fair Mew had Boeing sussed very quickly and was only ever going to entertain him right up until the point when he was no longer useful. Mew had less than zero emotional investment in that dude or his opinions once he stopped trying to flirt with Top, lol.

Boeing. Here is my conundrum with Boeing: I both love and loathe him. Honestly, he amuses the hell out of me. It should be impossible for one person to be so slimy and yet here he is doing the most constantly and it is very, very funny. The way he is merrily bouncing from couple to couple like some kind of video game boss (or the final endurance test in a stress challenge) amuses me so much and I desperately need someone more talented than I am to find a way to make it a meme. But I'm conflicted, because right now he's messing with Sand (yes SAND, that's his primary target and frankly I don't really care about Ray being collateral damage because one, he's actively making it worse and two, it feels like the rest of this fandom is doing that for me) and I have feelings about the way my favorite dude looks so miserable every time Boeing shows his smirky face (even if it is a pretty one).

Also he's basically got Ray doing the job of driving Sand away from him and he really didn't have to do much to get there. All the man had to do is make a few pointed comments and smirk and now he's got Ray doing the dirty work for him. It's amazing. I genuinely can't wait to see what he has in store for Boston and Nick (and I have my suspicions. More on that later).

Ray. He was absolutely adorable for like 95% of this episode. I really like him in boyfriend mode, lol. I also feel like he was mostly sober through the ep, too. I think that's great, and while I wish there were a little more about what he's doing to wean himself off of the alcohol, I have also come to the understanding that the show is not choosing to focus on it too much. I will just be glad they focused on it at all and move along. Honestly I should have expected it - if they were planning on dealing with Ray's alcohol problems in depth they would have started it earlier, lol.

The one quibble I have with him is at the end of the ep. While I can understand him being upset, it's pretty clear to me that so is Sand, and Ray is too focused on his own pissiness about Boeing to either see that or care if he does see it. Sorry guys I know everyone is saying it's insecurity and worry that he'll lose Sand but that just isn't what I'm getting from him at all. I don't think he thinks that Boeing is anywhere near his level or a real threat to him for Sand's affection, I think he's just pissed because Sand's not handling it the way he wants him to - which is by shutting Boeing down hard. And while I can understand and appreciate his ire, the way he's going about trying to force it is completely disrespectful to Sand. If Sand misstepped by sending Ray away to deal with Boeing on his own (which I don't really think was the horrible misstep people are making it out to be, but more on that later), then Ray is misstepping by ignoring Sand's clear wish for him not to insert himself by deliberately inserting himself and trying to provoke Sand into action.

If he's lucky it won't backfire right in his face (Ray has no fucking clue who he's playing with here, Boeing flat out does not respect Sand or his relationship and all Ray's doing here is showing his own damn belly and exposing the both of them to more mind games), but I don't think he will be.

Which brings me to the thing that has had my blood boiling since Saturday.

This is a good point to stop if you're not in the mood for half-essay, very probably half-rant.

Sand. Before I start, let me disclaim a little: I freely admit my biases here - for a ton of other people in this fandom Only Friends is The Ray Show, but for me it is and has always been All About Sand - and my own hypocrisies. I will defend Sand for things that I will not defend other characters for (although I do try hard to be as objective as possible with varied success, lol), and Ray has gotten it in the teeth from me more than once simply because he's often the character hurting my baby, possibly (probably) unfairly at times. Ray's done a lot of shit, but I admit that I see that heartbroken look on Sand's face and my objectivity tends to go out the window. It's why I understand all the posts about how much Sand sucks for the supreme crime of making Ray unhappy, but it's also why they make me furious.

I am going to pose a question here, for people that have been brave enough to read this far and who are genuinely worried that Sand and Boeing are gonna fuck: what in all the world has made you think that Sand would cheat on Ray? Is it just general fear combined with blorbo love?

Because okay I can get behind that, if so - I was utterly convinced last week that Ray and Boeing were gonna sleep together myself, and if I'm entirely honest I still expect some supreme stupidity of the Ray/Boeing kind simply because Boeing's MO seems to be going after the new boyfriend (estranged or not) after rejection - and I do NOT want to hear it about Sand not rejecting him, almost every scene that man was rolling his eyes so hard at Boeing it's a surprise that he didn't give himself a headache. He might not have been forceful enough for Ray or the fandom, but he is definitely not giving me the impression he's interested (to be fair I don't think Ray is interested either - I do, however, think he's infinitely more reactive than Sand in a lot of ways and far more likely to do some dumb, impulsive shit).

But if not that, what is it? Because there has been nothing in canon to suggest that Sand would ever, so apparently I do need it explained to me like I am five.

Maybe I'm just a little too much like Sand myself, because what I mostly saw was a guy who still has a lot of issues stemming from his previous relationship being confronted with the source of most of those emotions and doing his best to eject himself from the situation with as little conflict as possible.

And I've seen a lot of posts really taking after him for it. For being so passive, for not telling Boeing Ray's his boyfriend, for telling Ray to leave him and Boeing to talk. Hell, I've even seen people blaming him for the bullshit that is the last part of the episode, and I'm sure if Ray and Boeing do make out or (heaven forbid but I honestly won't rule it out yet) fuck, they'll find a way to make it Sand's fault, too.

And the more I read, the more annoyed I get. Not surprised, mind - I've seen too much of fandom blaming everyone else for every shitty thing Ray does (again, not saying he has no right to be upset here. I am saying, however, his way of dealing with it is likely to cause more problems) for this to be a surprise - but definitely annoyed. Because this isn't OOC for Sand, this isn't incomprehensible. This isn't some foreign, new thing that he's doing that we simply can't understand because we don't have context. This is all stuff that Sand has been doing since as early as episode two. The only difference is that this time, he's doing it for and with someone Not Ray.

Facts about Sand.

He is way way way too patient and has a tendency to bend far too often. We see this over and over and over again with Ray, well before Sand even really starts liking him much. I do think that he saw a bit of a wounded bird in Ray and wanted to help, because Sand at heart is a caretaker, a fixer, someone who needs to be needed. I'm not saying any of these are good traits - they can be, but as with anything they can be taken too far. And Sand unfortunately has a tendency to let himself be pushed well past his own limits so long as he feels like the other person needs him. I know. It sucks to realize that all that boundary pushing he let Ray do wasn't just because Ray's special. Not so cute when he's doing it with someone else, huh?

When Sand cares about someone, he does it wholly. I know a lot of people don't like to acknowledge this, but all signs point to him caring about Boeing at one point. Hell, in my opinion all signs point to him being deeply in love with him, and even though I don't believe that Sand still harbors those feelings for him, nostalgia is a hell of a drug and Boeing keeps doing his level best to bring that out in Sand. And just because he might not be in love with him anymore doesn't mean Sand can shut off his instinct to defer, to put himself aside, because that's what he does when he cares about someone. I hate to bring this up but look how much he's put up with from Ray. And while I can understand the temptation to think that Ray is the only person he'd be like that with, it was also spelled out to us in the very beginning of the episode that that's not how it is. I would wager that that's why they took the time to spell it out - so we'd understand when Boeing came along that Sand can't shut that off just because Boeing sucks.

Sand likes to operate alone, especially when it comes to his feelings. How many times has he said outright he'd handle how he feels himself? How many times have we seen him withdraw to deal with his own feelings and lick his wounds in private? Whether or not Ray wants to be there for him - and frankly I think that might be reaching, because that last scene didn't feel like it was about Sand at all to me, it was about Ray and Boeing's pissing contest - Sand has never learned to accept that kind of help. Of course he'd send Ray away to deal with Boeing's bullshit on his own. It's his mess. And to be honest, if I were Sand I'd do it too, because the last thing he needs is his sleazy ass ex on one side and Ray - who he knows can be volatile when riled up, mind, having been on the receiving end of it more than once - on the other.

And here's a fact about what went down with Boeing that everyone is choosing to ignore: he did lay down boundaries. He made zero effort to pretend to be into whatever Boeing was saying, he told him he didn't want to go to the Arctic Monkeys concert, he told him he couldn't come over and that all he could give him was friendship. He also tried to limit Boeing's access to him to YOLO only...and then Ray came in and trampled all over it. And Boeing watched him do it with a smirk, because now Ray is doing his work for him. And it looks like he'll continue doing it next episode.

I have to confess that the amount of vitriol I've seen directed at Sand for being a tiny bit messy flabbergasts me. Be honest, guys: is it because Sand is just the designated love interest to you? Because that's what it is starting to feel like. There's nothing wrong with that but knowing for sure would help my blood pressure.

Relationship Rambles

SandBoeing. I know we probably don't have time for this, but I would pay money to see a flashback of what they were like together. I already know that their relationship was very serious, at least on Sand's end and possibly on Boeing's (although I've seen enough of this man sliming around to not really buy it even if he says it, haha), but I am so so curious what their dynamic was like. Boeing's "you never yell at me" was telling, I think. But again, that's Sand all over, sigh. He'll just bottle it all up until he can't, then woe betide the person he sets his sights on.

Next ep may make me eat my words, but I say again that do not think that Sand has any lingering feelings for Boeing that would actually be a threat to his current relationship - but I do think that he has lingering feelings about what happened with Boeing that could very well threaten it. I think Boeing is mainly here to test the foundations of these couple's relationships and see how well they stand up to some huffing and puffing, but I also think (hope) that because he's so intimately tied to Sand due to their past that he will serve the same purpose as Ray and Mew's adventures in not really dating did for Ray: a way for him to get past the things keeping him from moving on with the person he wants to move on with.

I probably won't get much of this, haha. But it's a dream.

SandRay. I think I've gotten most of what I wanted to get out about these two out already. I can see this breaking really really badly. I will be disappointed if it does, but not surprised. I'm getting strong implosion vibes.

TopMew. Endgame vibes. And I am great with that because I adore them. Although them moving in together right after getting back together is a bit nuts. Slow your roll there, Topper.

BostonNIck. Saved for last because I have the most to say about them. I have to admit that they haven't been working for me as well in the past couple of episodes, and this one I was honestly really annoyed because - no points for guessing - of the monogamy stuff. One of my biggest worries as we've gone on is that the show will have Boston "redeem" himself by winding up in a monogamous relationship with Nick, and while I wasn't necessarily opposed to that if it could be done in a way that felt right for the character, I was super unsatisfied with the offer this episode.

But then I watched it again, and it hit me that Boston isn't saying forever, he's saying for now. And I can get behind that.

And then I watched it a third time because anything worth doing once is worth doing thrice. And now I've come to believe that he is mostly doing this for Nick. Because he does care for Nick a lot, but also because he's realized just how much Nick cares for him, and he's thinking to himself, "I can do this for him. I can give him this much, for now." It comes back to that whole wanting to put someone else first thing that I was talking about - it's not to pacify Nick or to make him stick around, it's genuinely (I think) because Boston cares about him and he wants to give him something he wants, something that - because it has a time limit - he thinks that he can give.

Enter Boeing.

I'm not saying that Boeing is gonna succeed in bedding Boston. I'm just saying that - fresh off of whatever happens with Sand and Ray (and regardless of what happens with the two of them as a pair, I have no doubt that it will end in Sand firmly rejecting Boeing once and for all. And unless I'm very mistaken the only interest Boeing has in Ray is to peck at Sand, so Ray will become useless to Boeing once that happens) - he's going to try it on with Boston next, and that it might make Boston and/or Nick realize a few things.

Why Nick? Because although Nick was flattered when Boston offered him the boyfriend title - flattered and pleased - he didn't accept it. I think he might, but I also can't help but wonder if they won't even get that far. Because as Nick says, he knows Boston, and maybe he knows that what Boston's offering isn't necessarily something he wants.

This is all spitballing, of course, and maybe a little bit of projection. I still think they deserve each other but I also still think Boston would do best in an open relationship and Nick...would not. One or the other of them might be able to do what the other one wants for a time, but eventually they will find themselves unable or unwilling to do it. And that would be the end.

I wouldn't mind being wrong here; this is mostly my gut speaking based on my interpretations of the characters. But if the show can convince me otherwise I'd be happy for it.

In Conclusion

My goodness, next week is the last episode. I have a nasty feeling that there will be a second season and I do not want it, nor will I be watching if it is so, so whatever happens Saturday will be how Only Friends ends for me. I'm excited and a little anxious, which is about how I've spent the majority of this show, so it's very fitting.

It feels like there's absolutely no way they have the runtime to make this work if there's no second season.

I hate it here.

#only friends #only friends the series #rankings

[fountainpenguin]

“I come to you with all my secrets... And you never, ever judge.” (x)

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New Dog's Life chapter today!

Chapter 11 - “Phantom Hour (Martyn, Joel, Honey)”

Read on AO3

Start from Chapter 1

End of Session 1

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Martyn gets called into work, but drops by Scott on the way. Scott's fighting through his own problems that not a single one of his friends can relate to. Meanwhile, Joel invites Grian to Empires to visit Hermes- Y'know, that kid Joel insists is real and Grian claimed was an armor stand last chapter.

Lastly, Grian returns to his wife on their home server. Their marriage may be arranged and awkward, but he's locked in offline status with her for another month straight, so he may as well get cozy...

(First 1,000 words under the cut)

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InTheLittleWood

- Card-carrying member of the Broken Hearts Club

- Kept hungry on purpose for nights like this

💚  💛  ❤️

If you're not hearing James Turner cry out "Aww, bat too!" every time Pearl swoops down on his head with wings unfurled, or listening to the constant hum of bee wings in your ear, are you even in Simmers' Quarter? Martyn spreads his arms and wings for balance, meandering across the copper rod rail that spans between the rooftop of one building and the next. Oh, sure… Flapping your wings is easy, but that sort of takes away the thrill and the rush of the tightrope, doesn't it?

Funny joke. I've got 24/7 vertigo anyway.

He takes every step with his eyes shut, tongue sticking out from one corner of his lips. Technically this is the Australian Quarter, but literally no one ever calls it that. Not even Pearl, and she's an Australian Minecrafter. It's just that all the Simmers live together down in this corner: not because they have to (or even because their time zones match up), but because they're such good friends.

Simmers' Quarter also happens to be the edge of the perimeter where Scott assigns housing to the accounts played by fairly young creators who are still learning their way around Minecraft. Basically, you'll never find any fewer than a hundred babies running around, and if you ask Martyn, the Simmers always look exhausted, like managing their needs in mere proximity of noisy children leaves them drained. But if they really didn't like it, they could file the paperwork to move, right?

I mean, they're Simmers… Maybe some of them still think we pay for things with consistent currency instead of doodles and build tips.

Martyn wobbles in an imaginary breeze. His vertigo kicks on a little stronger, a little more demanding. It swirls his stomach and guts in circles like he's mixing homemade ice cream. Whoa. Martyn keeps his eyes pinned shut. He doesn't peek. He only breathes.

I am not falling.

He balances on the copper rod, which Scott probably installed here for the many bat hybrids that call this area their home. Besides little rods and decorative bits like these, everything in Simmers' Quarter is built from wood and chiseled stone. The block palettes are pretty simple, but it works… The young, newbie builders don't often care for fancy designs (and setting them up with pretty stone and wood is a good way to guarantee they won't settle for less tasteful blocks like cobblestone or emerald). Most of the Simmers dump a few leaf blocks down for bushes, but largely prefer interiors, so in the end? It's a win-win.

Martyn's not here to talk to any Simmers. Or any of the hundred kids. At the end of the copper rail, he swings down and drops with a thump on the landing pad. The door's not locked. He waltzes right in. Just without a waltzing partner.

Ah, I'd love a waltzing partner. I oughta talk to Skizz.

The hallway's lit with golden lanterns. He's on the top floor. Nobody else is wandering. Martyn strolls along until he finds Room 810. He sifts through his pockets, digs out his spare key, and pushes it in the lock.

"There we are…"

Home bitter home.

The flat's a lot tidier since Scott packed his things and moved out. That's not to say Scott caused a big mess when he lived here. Jimmy just… never redecorated. Martyn can't even blame him. He's not redecorated in, eeeehhhh… Probably getting close to 300 years at this point. Definitely over 250. Dunno, honestly. Math is hard and everyone's brains are scrambled. There's not really much point in decorating, is there? Jimmy's the one who spends the most time in it, and while Jimmy and Scott were dating, Martyn hadn't seen a reason to get in the way. He keeps his stuff and private portal in his room, but so much of his station time is spent at the flock roost or else combing the perimeter. The flat is…

… Martyn only has a flat at all because of the people he came to stay with.

Martyn kicks his crocs at the front door, sliding into his slippers instead. All the lanterns are off. Jimmy's not home yet, still at the first of many late-night parties. All their games are gone too. There's no food here that Martyn's anivore body will get any pleasure from. And Scott took the blankets and throw pillows. He left the printscreens now framed along their walls - even had the decency not to crop his own face out when he left - but Martyn glances at exactly none of them. He'd just… rather not right now.

His room's the left one at the end of the hall. Jimmy's and Scott's (Jimmy's) is the right. The third door, straight ahead, is the one he came here for. As he walks, Martyn reaches into his pocket and withdraws a letter. He wrote it over break while they were killing time, waiting for Grian and Etho to account for Scar's glitch. Martyn swats it several times against his palm and opens the last door. The purple, wooden N hanging on its front clacks as he pushes through. This room never had a bed. The old occupant never saw the point in one, seeing as you can't sleep in the Between dimension.

It's not as quiet in this abandoned room as Martyn would like. He can hear screeching children playing in the road outside. He can hear Gluon's distinctive bee wings humming very, very near the edge of the apartment. Martyn makes a mental note to take him and his fez out first next time he gets the chance.

Ah, well… It's Simmers' Quarter. Whatcha gonna do?

He gives a little love-tap to the sugar glider hoodie hanging abandoned on the hook behind the door. Hasn't been worn in a few hundred years, but it's nice to know it's still there. No matter how hungry Martyn's gotten… he's never been hungry enough to eat that.

[Full chapter on AO3 - Link at top]

#Joel SmallishBeans #Martyn InTheLittleWood #Grian #Empires Hermes #trafficblr #traffic life smp #Empires SMP #mcyt #Dog's Life #ridwriting #Scott Smajor #''So is the song title a bonus pun or-'' ''Yes'' #Pixels Imperfect #apparently art #fic announcement #Dog's Life art

[princesssarisa]

7 question ask: Belle

Three facts about them from my personal headcanons.

She inherited her love for stories of magic, adventure and romance from her mother, as well as her ladylike bearing and manners. I imagine that the 1991 Belle's mother died when she was between seven and ten years old. If she had never known her and Maurice had raised her alone, as in the 2017 remake, I think she would be more of a tomboy, as the 2017 Belle duly is.

Her curiosity and impulsiveness got her into all kinds of trouble when she was a little girl – since they still sometimes get her into trouble in her adulthood – which only reinforced the villagers' idea of her "oddness."

She can't cook. Maurice did all the cooking when she was growing up – he approached it as a science, just like inventing, and even though he favored eccentric ingredients, he did well. As a result, Belle would be comically hopeless in the kitchen.

A reason they suck:

She makes the mistake of revealing the Beast's existence to Gaston and the other villagers.

A reason they are great:

Her personality is such a wonderful blend of sweetness, strong will, emotion, intellect, dignity, and warmth.

A reason I relate to them:

I also spend more time reading than I do socializing.

(what I consider to be) the top tier otp/ot3 for that character:

She belongs with the Beast/Prince Adam, no question.

Five things that never happened to the character that I believe should have happened:

I don't necessarily think these things should have happened, because they might have needlessly complicated the movie. But on a purely emotional level, they appeal to me.

She should have conversed with another villager besides the bookseller near the beginning of the movie – preferably with a woman for enhanced Bechdel Test-passing. She could have seen that villager doing some heavy work and helped her (showing that she isn't a lazy snob who shuns her hardworking neighbors), and then they could have talked about Belle's dreams of adventure, with her neighbor sympathizing but reminding her "We're poor people, we can't afford to dream." Belle would agree, saying that between laundry, errands, gardening, tending the animals, and taking the chickens' eggs to market, she only has an hour or two each day to read. (Again, this would make it clear that she doesn't just read all day while her neighbors work.) Then she could say something like "But maybe if we hope and wish hard enough for a better, then maybe someday..." And her resigned, practical neighbor would shut her down with some remark like "You're a kind girl, but you are odd" and walk away.

She should have conversed further with the Beast about his temper, and offered him a kind suggestion for how to control it by describing what she does to calm herself down. Visualizing something pretty and peaceful, for example, or privately venting to an imaginary friend, or going for a walk outdoors (much like she talks to the chickens and goats and then runs out onto the hill when she's angry about Gaston's proposal). I would have liked to see that, because real-world anger management requires more than being shamed.

She should have had a chance to talk about her mother. Not in the way of the 2017 remake, per se, but in some way. Maybe in the above conversation with the Beast, when she tells him her method of calming herself, she could explain that her mother taught it to her when she was a little girl.

She should have had a conversation with Mrs. Potts in her dressing room before the dance scene, paralleling the Beast's with Lumiere. Or better still, a conversation with Mrs. Potts and Fifi/Babette, giving the latter more characterization than just "flirty French maid." More female/female interaction, please!

In the final scene, she and the Prince should have been shown taking a break from ballroom dancing, and stopping to look at a mural on a wall that depicts a map of the world. (Similar to Linda Woolverton's original idea of showing her sticking pins into a map near the beginning.) The Prince could ask her where she wants to travel to now that they can leave the castle, and she would exuberantly point to all the places from her favorite books (Verona for Romeo and Juliet, England for King Arthur, etc.) while the Prince laughs at the sheer number. Then one of the servants would point out that the music is starting again and they would go back to the dance. This would let the audience know that Belle hasn't given up her dreams of adventure.

Five people that character never fell in love with and why.

Gaston. No explanation needed.

Lefou. Ditto.

Lumiere. He's a good friend, but he's slightly too old for her and a little too flamboyant and vain.

Cogsworth. He's also a good friend, but a little too old for her, and too stuffy.

Chip. He's nowhere near old enough.

#beauty and the beast #belle #disney #7 questions

[djservo]

HI it's that time again end of the month it's warming up it's almost summer how did your may reading go, what's on your list for the summer?

the thread vaguely weaving together may's reads: sex, anger, and neocolonialism

YES the rumors are true YES I slashed my standard (as of the last couple years) reading goal from 50 books to a humble 36 SIGH I have two wolves inside me telling me 1. to commit fully to the bit and 2. to trust my gut/instincts — with enough willpower I could force myself to hunker down and become a lean mean reading machine just to barely scrape by with an even 50 by the end of december for some imaginary accolade/clout/tradition on Amazon-Owned Goodreads Dot Com, or I could #BeReal with myself and accept my reading habits of the past few months as a litmus test of how things have been going + so shall continue to be. I'd rather not turn my goal (and thus reading as a whole) into this looming monster that taunts me ykwim especially when the point is enjoyment so TLDR . we're being Real and Intentional and Downsizing <3 ONTO MAY'S READS, FULL OF HITS BABY!

Bad Behavior by Mary Gaitskill

I was reading this around the time I watched this vintage gay erotica Equation to an Unknown (1980) where one of the reviews succinctly says it's "Erotic ennui" — this kinda perfectly sums up the vibe of this short story collection. sex-tinged dramas, though not melodramatic, not edge-of-your-seat high stakes, but just enough entangled emotional transactions to feel as if you're on the precipice of something only to be left in the cold. I'd been meaning to read Secretary for a while now and somehow didn't connect that this was the short story collection it came from?? kismet! I have a friend who doesn't like watching black-and-white movies or pretty much anything pre-80s because they "look so old" (bless her heart) — often (moreso lately) I feel the inverse of that with movies post 2000s where sometimes everything looks/feels too new and sleek and sometimes the mere sight of a cell phone is enough to turn me off. all this to say, I did try watching Secretary but turned it off after 15 minutes bc it didn't feel right at the moment and I wanted to sit with the tepid yet strangely alluring bubble of the original story a little longer. the last story was my favorite and made me cry lolol

The Essential Dykes to Watch Out For by Alison Bechdel

there's nothing I could say that would do this justice GOD I'm obsessed with this! somehow I've read every Bechdel work Except any of dtwof, but I'm glad I waited to read it in this collective form rather than in bits + pieces. I love all the details and references Bechdel puts into every panel — I swear I must've added like 20 books to my TBR list while reading Fun Home — and how effortlessly the state of US politics gets weaved into the background of their lives in a way that really puts you in that time and place. there's clearly so much love and humor and dedication she has for her community, but I love how she doesn't shy away from community in-fighting and hypocrisies — the desire to live a happy and fulfilled life without being a liberal "sellout" queer, and what that even means depending on who you are etc etc. it's also strangely assuring to read these arguments and discussions amongst the friends and how relevant and fresh it all still feels? like we're still having the same arguments and worrying about the same things decades later and it sucks but there's also this string of consistent humanity threading it together idk we're never alone in our experiences n time is a circle n all that jazz. loved that no character felt wasted or sidelined for the sake of a "greater" plot, loved how even the children and men had their own motives/personalities, SIMPLY LOVED IT ALL + I'M HEARTBROKEN IT'S OVER! </3 (though I read they're doing an audible version soon with a buncha celebs so I'm Intrigued by that)

Dogeaters by Jessica Hagedorn

Magnolia (1999) but for Filipinos!! thrumming with chaos and desperation and anger. Similar to Bad Behavior with its lack of loose ends being tied up nicely at the end. I fear I'm too cynical nowadays to put much weight in "representation" and the corporate intentions that back it, hallmark movie endings with a very glossed-over + white-approved "see? we're just like you!" message. that sentiment is not present here whatsoever, and I adore Jessica Hagedorn for that. unhealthy family dynamics and power structures and the curse that is American colonialism thrusting itself into your very concept of what you want in life. obviously (and unfortunately) Many can connect to that, but this book is so distinctly FIlipino, so specific and dedicated to a Filipino experience, that I can only laugh at negative reviews from (white) people complaining about what an incomprehensible mess it is or how there should've been a glossary to explain certain terms and aspects of Filipino culture, etc etc. I'd like to think it was intentional of Hagedorn to omit a glossary or footnotes or much explanation at all — a big FUCK YOU / THIS ISN'T FOR YOU and I love it. could even argue that that was one of the messages at the core of each of these intertwining stories. I read The Gangster of Love and watched the play in college and was equally floored with its anger at the world, how it kinda spits in your face when you're waiting for conventions or comfort. love love loved this so much, I do not mean it lightly when I say Miss Hagedorn is my hero

+ 2 journal articles

The Bedroom of Things by Caitlin Blanchfield and Farzin Lotfi-Jam — bedroom as theater + the performance of our living spaces as we portray them in images for the spectatorship of others; connecting our interior lives to physical things/commodities as manifestations of the self

The Transnational Ga(y)ze: Constructing the East European Object of Desire in Gay Film and Pornography after the Fall of the Wall by Nicholas F. Radel — pretty much exactly as the title suggests, the effect the fall of the wall/shift away from communism had in gay porn and general (gay) media depictions of East European men. desire constructed through a nationalistic standpoint, the hierarchies of power at play. I watched a few documentaries this month that would pair nicely for a little lecture on sex work + communism in East Europe: The Fall of Communism as Seen in Gay Pornography (1998) dir. William E Jones; Not Angels But Angels (1994) dir. Wiktor Grodecki; Body Without Soul (1996) dir. Wiktor Grodecki

Currently reading Pornotopia by Paul B. Preciado and I'm about to take a trip which will mark my first time traveling with my kindle so I'm excited for that hehe I have a buncha books downloaded but my priority is getting into Dennis Cooper bc I've been meaning to for so long and I feel like several movies I watched this month had been likened to Dennis Cooper vibes in the reviews + I even saw someone on insta reading The Sluts so if that's not all a sign to finally get with it, then IDK what is!

#asks #cheesehair #reads

[sophieinwonderland]

im confused about personal plurality, feel free to ignore. for a while now ive wanted imaginary friends (although they are all characters in media) out of- i guess- lonliness? not the best reason, i know, but its lead me down a rabbit hole of researching plurality and whatnot. i know i dont have alters or switches or anything, if i try to call out unprompted i get no response. for some reason im so fixated and almost really wishing i had alters to talk to and experience things with, but i dont. the closest i can get to that is imaginary friends, but they feel puppeted, for lack of better words, and arent autonomous. i really want to make myself belief they are, and in a way i think they want to as well, but i have a feeling thats my brain telling me that, aka not an indication of anything.

if talking about my experiences help at all, for a while i went through a process of mimicking systems, aka having the imaginary friends speak to me in thoughts, but it was all voluntary and scripted. a while later i tried a different method of mentally visualizing these imaginary friends in the same room as me, and sometimes theyd "share" my body, and id pretty much only be the one in control, and theyd just talk to me. again, its not switching or anything, i dont have sudden memory gaps, although my memory of stuff is consistently foggy, ranging from earlier that day to multiple years ago- kinda maybe about a 35% chance ill forget something every time, and the number climbs the longer its been.

with the imaginary friends themselves, its a rough explaination. again, they come from any fictional media i fixate on, but my fixations change nearly weekly, so its never consistent with who it is. i am a copinglinker who links witb these fixations as well, so its a 50/50 of if i want to personally identify as the character, or if they are an imaginary friend. again, conversation is prompted and feels very short, because i think in the back of my mind i know im directing the entire conversation, instead of talking to a seperate person. i want to believe so bad the conversations and opinions are real, but i dont think they are. whenever i ask them if they think theyre autonomous, its either "i dont know" to "yeah, why?" but i feel those answers are fabricated to. i dont know, maybe i just sort through thoughts through characters.

sorry, im rambling. i dont know if this is the right place to go, ans im genuinely hoping none of this is offensive. again, im 99.9% sure im not plural, but i feel /something/ in the back of my mind if i focus hard enough, but then again, it might be confirmation bias or something, i donr know.

if you have any thoughts or advice, please share. this has been plaguing me for nearly a year now and im not sure what to do with the information or how to interpret it. thank you.

Are your imaginary friends actually puppeted, or do they just feel puppeted? Because these aren't the same things.

In tulpamancy, there exists what's known as parroting, where you consciously talk for your tulpa and control their speech. Conversely, there's parrotnoia. This is the fear that you're controlling your headmate even when you aren't.

But if you aren't consciously doing it, it's not parroting.

If you haven't yet, you should check out my article on how to know if your imaginary friend is sentient:

I'll also add that switches feel differently for different systems. For us, it's often like something external is entering the body. But to some systems, it can feel like you're becoming somebody else.

Switching also doesn't usually have amnesia unless you have DID. (Although, if you do have DID, it can be hard to recognize if you have amnesia because... you know... you forget. But don't worry about that right now.)

But it's also normal for some systems to only partially switch, co-front, or just be co-conscious.

If you want them to be more real and developed though, I'd recommend sticking with a few over time. Cycling between proto-headmates every couple weeks means none will get the full development they deserve.

#tulpa #tulpamancy #imaginary friends #imaginary friend #pluralgang #plural #plurality #endogenic #multiplicity #system #systems #plural system #endogenic system #system stuff #endo safe #pro endo #pro endogenic #sysblr