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brain-rot-central · 3 months

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ok so has anyone made a list of things that Astarion said that had a different meaning than first thought?

For example, if you tell Astarion when you first meet that you’re Baldurian as well, he says they must not be in the same social circle. With the way he talks and dresses it seems like he’s implying you’re lower class, but later it becomes clear you’re not those petty criminals or brothel goers that he targets. (And there’s the separate “of course it’ll turn me into a monster” line that becomes obvious later.)

He reveals he fears breaking his nail to the dryad, and it seems shallow but we learn he’s traumatized by digging himself out of his coffin, and the year he endured being trapped inside a coffin and desperately scratching and breaking his nails off as punishment, which is also why he refuses to dig anyone out like Nere.

Also, he mentioned he targeted brothel visitors, and at first it sounds like he just waited outside those establishments for victims, but then if you visit the drow twins he mentions he never thought he’d be on the paying end, plus if you choose one of the twins then Astarion says you have a type for elven prostitutes. And if you really think about it, considering how Petras’ lines are similar to Astarion’s, it wouldn’t be weird to imagine Cazador forcing them to work at a brothel for a few years as training…

Some of Astarion’s lines have a lot to unpack

Many things Astarion says are doublespeak. It's a common coping mechanism used by trauma survivors to "make peace," in a way with what they went through. It's not until you've played through his whole story that you understand that, and honestly it breaks my heart. He has a lot of self-depreciating language. Little quips here and there where you realize he's not only commenting on the current situation but himself, as well.

The monster line in the beginning gets me the most, because he follows it up with, "What did I expect?" For the first time in 200 years, he's able to stand in the sun without burning. He's grappling with that entire realization while also readjusting to there being light and color in the world, and probably was looking at the whole Nautiloid experience as something slightly positive... only to learn that no, this is not something positive. In fact, it's horrendous, because if it's not rectified, he'll become a grotesque monster, worse than he already is. And idk, that guts me. He has this small glimmer of hope for the first time in two centuries, all to realize that it's a giant farce.

But, Astarion is also stubborn, so he holds onto this small glimmer of hope to see if there's a way he can work the tadpole to his advantage. So that he can continue to walk in the sun. Once he realizes that Cazador's compulsion has been interrupted due to the tadpole, he doubles down on wanting to keep the tadpole and control it.

Astarion's story is such a beautiful portrayal of what being in survival mode feels and is like. You're so entirely desperate to make it out of your current situation that you would quite literally give anything and everything to obtain it, even if it means burning the entire world down around you.

The elven prostitute line made me laugh when I first heard it; I knew he was referring to himself and trying to make some light humor about his past, but it's also heartbreaking to realize he sees himself as one. He hasn't yet taken the grace with himself to distinguish between being forced into that line of work vs who he actually is. The lines are still blurred.

I can't think about the intricacies of his background/personality too long, because it all feels way too familiar to me. To know even a smidge of the despair he probably felt for years and the constant mental and physical struggle he endured (there's even disordered eating/food insecurity in his back story too and no one really talks much about it; Cazador purposely kept all the spawn near-starving as a form of control).

Our boy was severely abused and neglected and I really just want to give him a fucking hug.

#astarion #trauma tw #i mean i totally get why he burns down the palace post game #i probably would too #like how could you not want to do that #neech's speeches #answered

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lord-save-me · 11 months

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I'd like to thank my parents for helping me come up with fanfic ideas involving Walburga and Orion

#marauders era #marauders #regulus black #sirius black #walburga black #orion black #the black brothers #the black family #the ancient and most noble house of black #marauders fanfiction #trauma #it's my trauma i get to choose the coping mechanism

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the-cat-and-the-birdie · 7 months

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Kinda sick of the racism from nonblacks (i say nonblacks because it ain't just the whites tho it's mainly them!) in the spiderverse fandom because why does black ppl centering themselves in fiction (you know cuz we never can have ANYTHING) bother them so much??

"Hobie would choose a white girl over you" "why does miles have to be with someone black" "why does he always have to have a black reader" like Ummmm DO Y'ALL NOT HEAR HOW DUMB AND IGNORANT YOU SOUND?

We gotta gatekeep the black characters in this fandom until ppl know how to act right and stop getting besides themselves

PREACH!!!!!! CAUSE LIKE -- People out here are really disturbed that they *checks notes* were reminded black people exist? black people being found specifically attractive in a way whiteness is CONSTANTLY.

Anti-Blackness, Hobie, & The Black!Reader -

[A SHORT rant about people who have an issue with Black!Readers]

I ALWAYS find it where when people beef with Black people who want to date other Black people.

Because it's 100% racism.

If you think that a Black person dating only Black people is wrong - Anti-blackness is probably the root.

Just kidding it is the root its literally the only solution and explanation hehehe

Because as a trans person - when someone says they're T4T, everyone is fine with that.

Cis people can understand that they will never understand the trans experience, and that trans people may be attracted and want relationships with people who can understand on a personal level.

But when a Black Person say they're 'Black4Black' suddenly that's wrong?? We can't do that??

It's like non-whites cannot grasp that anti-black racism is a very VERY specific experience that we deal with all our lives and we may want partners that can not only support us but relate too. Partners we don't have to explain race shit too.

No- blackness is an experience that HAS to be available to them. Black people's experiences, minds and bodies HAVE to be available for there consumption or we're in the wrong.

We are either there to be consumed (like Hobie is) or ignored (like the Black!Reader is).

All my life I've seen the default OC and default reader be a white person. Readers that don't speak AAVE, that show no attempt at culture outside the 'normal' heteronormative American family.

And suddenly we try to change that for ourselves and that's not cool.

Also - people who say that about Hobie are just outright uneducated.

Hobie is from 1978.

Racial Discrimination in the UK was outlawed in 1965. Regardless of whether you think he's 16 or 19 - Hobie Brown grew up under racial segregation from ages 3-6.

He grew up seeing it - experiencing racism. Living with and being raised by and surrounded by a community of older black people who lived under segregation.

And even after the bill - Racist attitudes would still be surrounding him realistically speaking.

HE'S NOT FROM NOW.

Acting like Hobie has no opinions on that, or experiences, or coping mechanisms or TRAUMA from that - is fucked up.

That's black trauma LOOK AT IT.

So YEAH, A guy who grew up under segregation and a police state would have trauma from it.

But they (racists) wanna sidestep that.

They'll talk all day about Hobie's police related trauma - but not the race thing......okay. Okay, no it's fine. I'm fine.

The idea that Hobie might have unsavory experiences with race makes them uncomfortable. The idea that Hobie would seek out Black Spaces to GET AWAY from white people - makes them foam at the mouth.

Not all white people are racist - but a white person can never understand anti-black racism from a personal view the way Hobie or I or you do.

That's just a fact.

But the idea that there's a special outlet we alone understand about Hobie, and connect with him through, they dislike that.

Anti-Blackness. It's everywhere.

YOINK!! I'M TAKING HOBIE BACK TO THE ANCESTORS. LETS GO.

#spiderman #atsv #spider man #marvel #across the spiderverse #hobie brown #spider punk #spiderpunk #Racism #anti-blackness #hobie x black!reader #hobie brown x black!reader #hobie x reader #hobie brown x reader #atsv analysis #antiblackness #discrimination

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iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia · 19 days

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What do you think M6’s answers would be to the question “is it better to feel all the pain or nothing at all?” I haven’t played all the routes so I can’t answer for everyone but I think

Julian -feel it all

Asra -nothing

Muriel -at the start of his route nothing but as he grows as a character it would shift slowly to feel it all

Portia -feel it all

I’d also love to hear your answer if you’re comfortable with that! As someone who’s felt both my answer is nothing bc in my experience the numbness allows you to still function. Even if the life you’re experiencing isn’t as full as it could be, you still get to experience it. When I become so overwhelmed by Everything I completely shut down and cease to be a person. I am my emotions. And I think in Asra’s route this kinda gets explored in that they choose to not feel as deeply ever again bc a muted life with MC is better than a full one without them. Anyway can you tell I recently reread The Giver lol

Woah, that's a good question friend!!

To be completely honest, I think all the M6 progress from the "numb" to the "willing to feel everything" point throughout their routes - as is the case for many people who are in the healing process! (essay below the cut)

Julian, while fully embracing the misery of his situation, is also running from the part of him that wants a happy ending. Meeting the MC is his slow journey of self-acceptance, realizing that his happiness is valuable and worth fighting for. He stops choosing one feeling to drown out all the others and starts feeling everything in a context of loving and being loved.

Asra's in a similar situation. They don't see giving up half their heart as something to regret, but they still talk about the reduced ability to be attached to people as a loss. Reconnecting with MC, being able to slowly bring down the walls that used to facilitate a drifting, untethered survival mode, allows him to start caring more about the people around him since he has a person to call home again.

When Nadia wakes up, she's lost. Seven years of memory have blipped out of view, she's responsible for a city she knows very little about, and the people who are supposed to help her are only getting in her way. She speaks of a similar numb state, being detached and uninvested in the world around her, until meeting MC and finding a way forward gives her what she needs to flourish again. We see a lot of that emotional progression in her reconnecting with her family.

Muriel is an almost textbook case of complex trauma and the myriad of coping mechanisms that arise from trying to escape it. I've written whole essays on the effects of his deal on that process before, but his journey with MC starts with him just wanting them to forget about him, and ends with him asking MC to help him collect the memories of himself and his people.

Portia isn't quite as much numb as she is stuck. From the moment her parents' ship wrecked, she's lived her life in the orbit of other people. First her older brother, then the children and grandmas of Nevivon, then her older brother again, now the Countess - it isn't until she begins to receive that same attention from MC that she starts to really own herself and discover the true depth of her capacity. While we never see her choosing to be numb, we do see her hesitating to come fully into her own. With MC's empowerment, that's exactly what she ends up being able to do.

And finally, Lucio - he's literally numb. He's spent the last three years trapped between realms in a ghostly form that won't let him feel anything at all beyond hunger. While MC is instrumental in returning him the capacity to feel, it's Lucio's own choice to take advantage of that as a fresh start.

#ask arcana brainrot #the arcana #the arcana headcanons #the arcana game #the arcana hc #asra the arcana #julian the arcana #nadia the arcana #muriel the arcana #portia the arcana #lucio the arcana #asra alnazar #julian devorak #nadia satrinava #muriel of the kokhuri #portia devorak #lucio morgasson

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funnier-as-a-system · 2 months

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uhm, I'm not part of a system, but I use a person in my head who can take over for me and has their own personality as a coping mechanism, and I was talking about her to my brother cause they help so much and he said that I sounded like his ex who was part of a system so I did research and I experience practically no DID symptoms. So should I stop using it as a coping mechanism? Is that bad and mean to people actually parts of systems? And if it is okay, would it be bad to use things attributed to DID? (alter, headspace, host, etc) Cause I don't wanna harm people actually part of systems and make it seem like some quirky little thing, sorry for rambling a little I get rambley when I'm anxious

I don't mean to alarm you, so please imagine me saying this with a gentle tone, but what you're describing sounds exactly like a system. A system involves having multiple beings* sharing the same body, each with their own sense of self**, and typically being able to change who has control of their shared body (or "take over" as you put it).

* These "beings" can be persons, or referred to with other terms.

** I can't tell for certain based on your ask, but based on how you said she has her own personality, I find it likely that this person in your head has her own sense of self and considers herself to be her own person, since personality is generally understood to be part of one's self.

However, it sounds to me as though you don't believe this could be a system due to some misconceptions about systems. So, let's go over them.

Firstly, you don't need to have DID, or any disorder, to be a system. While having, quote, "two or more distinct personality states" (headmates, or in the case of how you described her and likely describe yourself, persons) is required to have DID, the reverse is not true; you don't need to have DID to have two or more distinct personality states. You don't need to fit the other criteria to be a system; you'd just need to fit the other criteria to have DID. You can experience this specific symptom of DID without experiencing any other. You can be a system without having DID.

Secondly, there are plenty out there without DID (or other disorders) who are still systems "as a coping mechanism", as you put it. They are known as non-disordered traumagenic or stressgenic systems, and their systems come from needing to cope with trauma and/or stress. Sometimes, these systems are even purposely created as an active coping mechanism, but other times they occur without any conscious choice. It sounds to me as though your system could very well come from similar origins, or at the very least, help you in similar ways.

Thirdly, while "alter" is generally associated with DID, as it comes from the medical term "alternate personality state", the other terms you mentioned have origins from other parts of the system community. "Headspace" is a term used by many regardless of status of system or singlet, and "host" has more roots in spiritual systems than psychological. You are free to use whatever terms you wish so long as you make sure you understand their definitions and associations, and are comfortable using them for yourself – for example, systems with spiritual origins are less likely to use the term "alter" due to its medical connotations making many systems of this type uncomfortable, but there are others who are fine with using it for themselves. There are other community terms that people misunderstand in this same way, so don't feel bad about this.

While most people hear of systems in association with DID, DID is not the only way to be a system. You can be a system and describe yourself with system terms without having DID. And on the flip side, some folks with DID choose not to describe themselves as systems or with system terminology! It all depends on the system/person/plural in question.

I'm not going to outright tell you that you are a system. But I urge you to consider where your rejection of the idea comes from, as it seems to me that it is coming from some easy to make misunderstandings about systems in general.

In short, no, you're not being offensive, bad, or mean for being like a system (or being a system outright) without having DID. You're far from alone in that boat, in fact, so don't worry about it. If this other person is helping you, there's no need to get rid of her – in fact, I'd discourage you from doing so on the possibility that she is her own headmate, as repressing or ignoring one's system generally makes things worse. Instead, I'd recommend gently exploring the possibility of being a system, perhaps looking into the created system side of the community to see if anything resonates with you or if there are resources you would find helpful. My own system found many resources from that sub-community that we found helpful when we were first discovering our plurality, and we thought we were only traumagenic back then!

It's alright to be anxious. But I promise, the only people who would get pissed at you for using system terminology or being like a/a system without having DID are generally people you'd want to avoid anyway. If having a coping mechanism of another person in your head who can take over your body sometimes is improving your life – well, I think it'd just be hypocritical, rude, and pointless of me to tell you off for that!

Hope this helps!

#thanks for the ask!

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catindabag · 3 months

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In your opinion what would be snows gay or bi awakening lol

In the books, I think Coryo is too depressed (he is) and too stressed (he is) and too mentally unstable (he is) to really think about love (the sincere kind of love), friendships, and bi/gay awakenings.

He does feel things like pain, sadness, anxiety, and desire. However, his childhood war traumas (the horrific 2 year Capitol siege by the rebels that almost starved everyone to death), hunger (physical and psychological), and early losses in life (the death of his parents and other financial problems) were great factors that shaped him to be as cold as his name.

We also have to understand that he was raised in the Capitol. He was raised in a place that was ruthless and merciless to those who don’t have money, power, or status. If you don’t belong or have no relations/connections with one of the “Old Guards” like the Ravinstills, Heavensbees, or Creeds, then you’re a “loser nobody” who has no place or future in the Capitol.

Propaganda was also everywhere (and I mean everywhere). Sympathizing with the rebels who almost starved and eradicated your people to death is a great no no. This also applies to those who secretly aided and supported the rebels.

Don’t forget, the punishment was so severe as well. Either you die a horrible death or you get turned into an Avox. Die or suffer. Those are your only options if you get caught helping a rebel or even know someone who aligned themselves with rebel sympathizers.

So I understand that Snow had to be selfish AF and put great importance to his and his family’s self-preservation and ambitions no matter the cause, reason, or outcome. And because most people in the Capitol will also choose to put themselves first before others. Heck. Being ruthless and selfish are a form of mercy to one’s tragic self if you live in a country like Panem.

Is it wrong to think like that? To most readers who value goodness and love, yes. However, for those who survived a horrific war, no, not really. And for those who are constantly starving or suffering, no. Sometimes hunger will drive anyone (and I mean anyone) to madness. Even the best of us will be tempted to commit such grave sins in order to survive and live a comfortable life.

In addition, we can’t deny that Snow was living in a cruel society where one mistake will cause you and your whole family’s life and reputation. So a poor Coryo had to pretend that everything was splendid and his life was perfect (like most of his rich classmates) because the House of Snow must not fall. It must always land on top.

Moreover, I believe that pretending and performing are one of Coryo’s strongest coping mechanisms when facing the harshness of reality. In a way, you could say that Snow would rather live and accept his crazy delusions than face the consequences of his actions. If not, he might’ve ended up being sent to the gallows or being turned into an Avox.

Even in the books, when Snow was sent back to the Capitol to meet with Dr. Gaul, there was a part of him that screamed and believed that he and his family would be severely punished. He was even in the verge of accepting his “Avox fate” for the mistakes he made while serving as a Peacekeeper in D12.

So is Coriolanus Snow capable of sincerely loving someone above himself? His childhood war traumas, mental instabilities, ambitions, self-preservation, and depression say NO.

Was Snow in love with Lucy Gray? His lonely life and delusional mind say yes, but he’s too afraid of love and just wants power after experiencing one horrible breakup. So no.

Let’s just say that love is the death of power/ambitions/glory and Snow chose the latter in order to survive and thrive.

Was Sejanus Plinth in love with Snow? Yes. Definitely. I won’t question it.

Did Coryo have feelings for Sejanus? I believe that a tiny part of his cold heart will say yes, but his confused AF mind and “rebel allergies” say no.

But these are just my thoughts and opinions anyway. Lol. I specialize in writing and editing crack!AUs. Not angst.

But I do read a lot of psychological & mental health books, Greek tragedies, historical literature, and crime stories.

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obsessedwithgale · 4 months

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Why Gale's tale resonates so deeply

I've been pondering this for quite some time, even before I set up this blog, and I've finally mustered the words to share my thoughts. Although this blog primarily serves as a haven for fangirling over Gale, I've decided to open up about something more personal.

So, what's the crux of the matter? This is my take on why the Wizard resonates so deeply with me. Many players connect with characters, whether it's Astarion or others, and for me, Gale is especially relatable. The irony lies in the fact that the criticism surrounding this character actually enhances my experience.

Gale endured a romantic relationship with a significant power imbalance. He loved a woman idolized by many, feeling special to be her chosen partner. Although the dynamics of their relationship may have been non-monogamous, that's beside the point. What's crucial is the portrayal of a man with an immense heart yearning for love, tethered to a partner who prioritized obedience over genuine affection. The overwhelming feeling of inadequacy led him to make a risky decision for someone he believed loved him back. The result was heartbreak, and instead of love and support, his partner treated him callously, leaving him alone and devastated, with her followers aware of the betrayal.

Gale's heart shattered, and his health prevented him from healing. Consequently, he frequently mentions her at the start of our journey. She burned and destroyed him, leaving scars on his heart and psyche. When he reveals he dated a goddess, companions are amazed but fail to see the broken man beneath the surface. Only Mystra's intervention, sending Elminster as a messenger, makes them realize he was the victim.

Not everyone receives the grace of being recognized as the true victim; some remain perceived as the villain in many memories.

Following Gale's personal story, delving into his suicidal thoughts and discovering the untainted pieces of himself, was cathartic for me. Witnessing a man who couldn't recognize his worth find someone who loved him, scars and all, was beautiful.

Now, the Baldur's Gate 3 fandom seems to miss this message. They only pay attention when he mentions Mystra and find him annoying when he passionately shares his thoughts. They overlook the chronic pain, depression, and the harrowing message from his omnipotent lover. Sometimes I wonder if we're playing the same game or if they choose what to see. The community reduce to the way he handles his depression (deflecting and humour), and not for the horror he clearly hasn't processed.

While other characters accept their pasts and trauma bomb you, Gale is still in denial. Facing the truth is challenging; it's easier to blame oneself, right?

TL;DR: Gale resonates with me due to his trauma denial, coping mechanisms for depression and suicidal thoughts, and how he, despite being the clear victim in a relationship, is portrayed as the villain due to the overwhelming power and influence of the other person.

I adore this man, and learning the Leadwriter didn't get the message about Gale is disheartening.

#personal #tw: trauma #tw: abuse #tw: sui thoughts #gale of waterdeep #bg3 #baldurs gate 3

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misty-caligula · 1 year

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This is my big one for s2e6 and it’s the thing that made me bolt upright in my chair, really just ... kicked me in the chest. For context my point of view on the show is a non-supernatural one, I do not think Lottie is psychic I think she’s delusional. It’s okay if you do not, but that’s the context for my take:

I have a strong suspicion that adult!Lottie’s being played, and I really do not like it.

Full disclosure, I have a history in the psychiatric world as a patient, I’m not schizophrenic but I am psychotic and I am well managed and very stable but like... I know what this shit is meant to be like, from about 15 years of personal experience. So back in s2e4 I was immediately .... confused. By Lott’s new psych. She seemed... just off.

I thought to myself “Hey, you know, psychiatry is one of those things that is so often misrepresented in all forms of media, I’m probably just reading too much into it.” But then I rewatched (and rewatched) and the more I did the more it felt... deliberate. What got to me was that ... her normal psych has gone on sabattical and been replaced, and the new one is trying to tell her not to suppress her visions with medication but try to understand them and what they’re trying to tell her.

A real psychiatrist simply would never talk like that. Would never suggest that. As far as psychiatry is concerned, Lottie is schizophrenic, her visions are delusional. And delusions/hallucinations are less ... they’re less like dreams where you might think “Oh I’m going to keep track of what I’m dreaming about and see if it means anything” (which, incidentally, is also not a thing a psychiatrist would usually do, but that’s besides the point) but are more like... a damaged computer, throwing up random, unsorted and unrelated data. Our brains are pattern finders, we desperately try to make connections in what we experience, and when our brains start misfiring and giving us bizarre and nonsensical data we still try to connect it. Delusional thinking doesn’t ... say anything about you, it doesn’t mean anything. It’s just the brain trying to sort nonsense into piles of organised nonsense.

From a psychiatric perspective a delusion or hallucination is a symptom no different to a ... headache or a rash. It’s a non-desirable issue to be treated and ideally cured, not ... explored and looked at for some kind of deeper meaning. And this isn’t even talking about like, trauma, and processing it through therapy. Lottie’s psychosis manifested long before the plane, she’s been on medication most of her life. It’s not something she can just... ignore, or choose to fight, or try not to have. More than that, by actively engaging with it it damages her coping mechanisms that she’s developed over the years to ground her in reality when she’s not certain.

Anyway. This all just seemed.... off. Wrong. And Lottie’s reaction is to say “There’s no meaning, because they’re not REAL.” Because she’s spent a LOT of time in treatment, trying to build a solid foundation of reality to live on. She’s clearly very distressed by the idea of losing touch with that, and her psych is NOT helping. It all seemed very... off.

I thought through options of what was going on. Maybe... maybe her new psych isn’t real? Maybe she’s talking to the wall? That was my best theory with so little to go on. But it was not a very satisfying answer, and didn’t really fit the general themes and style of the show anyway... I was confused.

Fast forward to ep 6 and we get more time with the new psych. Lott is now CLEARLY agitated. She can’t sit still, seems very anxious. She starts talking about “the visions” and “this feeling even about things that I know are right infront of me, it’s like it’s pointing me towards back then.” Her psych says “Is it possible that your fear of the past might be actually your fear of your illness?” Only THAT IS NOT WHAT LOTT SAID. She didn’t SAY she was afraid of the past, she was afraid of “a feeling about things I know are right infront of me, pointing me back towards then.” What does she mean by that? Finding random queens in a pile of papers? Visions of dead bees? The reality is that she’s not afraid of the past, she’s losing touch with reality. In psychiatric wording, she’s struggling to hold onto “insight” i.e. the ability to determine what’s real or not.

Lott kind of misses this disconnected thought though, and instead she says “That’s not the problem, I’m not worried that I’m ill, I’m worried I never was.” This shows a complete LACK of insight, she’s forgotten that only very recently she was terrified of her illness and now she’s suddenly thinking that maybe 30+ years of treatment were all for nothing? Maybe she was just never sick at all?

Then she goes off on a tangent, she says “With Travis coming, Natalie and now Misty’s here too. It’s like it sent them here, to show me.” “To show you what?” “That it WAS real. And that I wasn’t the only one who felt it out there, that it was all of us, that it was a part of us.” “What is...it...Lottie?” And she goes off about the god of the wilderness and the terrible things they did.

But... okay so Lott’s losing her objectivity here, which is ... not uncommon for a psychotic person to deal with. And she’s developing a belief that she was never sick, that she was never delusional, that it was always real. Now only 2 episodes beforehand she’d come to the psych on an emergency basis to increase her meds PRECISELY because she was afraid this would happen. She’s TERRIFIED of getting to this exact point, being this exact way. Because it leaves her absolutely out of control of herself, her own mind.

But listen to what the psychiatrist is saying. First she says to her face that Lott’s psychosis is “controlled.” But... no it’s not! She’s having hallucinations, she’s CLEARLY delusional, and showing all kinds of signs of psychosis. She’s definitionally out of control.

Then she asks probing questions not about her mental state, but about the details of her delusions, about the god of the forest. She STILL hasn’t increased her meds and she’s acting like it’s not at all weird that she’s saying stuff like “I think I’m not sick and never was.” Which, to a psychotic person or a psychiatrist is SUCH a red flag, because the next immediate question to raise if a schizophrenic or bipolar or otherwise psychotic person says those words is “...are you taking your medication?” Because believing that you’re not delusional is one of the core hallmarks OF BEING DELUSIONAL.

Literally the definition of a delusion is a belief without evidence that you hold against all odds even in the face of contradictory evidence. If you are sitting there saying EXTRAORDINARY things and requiring zero external evidence to back up your claims and ABSOLUTELY certain in those beliefs no matter what... that’s delusional. Of COURSE you think you’re sane, if you lack insight you simply cannot tell what you’re thinking isn’t rational.

It’s like you are so certain that gravity exists, you can feel it, you can see its’ effects, and you comfortably put your life on the line for gravity a hundred times a day. If someone told you gravity wasn’t real you’d think they sounded mad, and if they told you YOU were the one out of touch, and that actually gravity wasn’t real, you could just look around and go “Uh... obviously you’re wrong.” But if you’re getting bad info into your brain you could be relying on something with JUST AS MUCH certainty and have absolutely no idea or capacity to tell that it’s actually completely wrong, no matter how many times you were told or shown. Medicated psychotic people regain their insight and can say “Sometimes I think things that don’t make sense, and I can tell that they’re not real, and I’m glad I don’t make choices based on that false information.” Unmanaged psychotic people say “I don’t know why I should take some pill, I’m fine, nothing’s wrong at all.”

I just canNOT fathom how any psychiatrist in the world would sit with a known schizophrenic patient who’s describing having active visions, who believes that a god they found in the middle of the forest is sending people to them so they can all be magically healed by them, and not IMMEDIATELY say to themselves “Hmm, this person is clearly having a psychotic event, is clearly in a tough spot, and needs their meds adjusted and maybe we should look into their wellbeing in the short term.”

All of which led me to suddenly jump up in my chair and shout “OH MY GOD” at my poor friend who was watching with me. Because I think that Lottie is being manipulated. I think that someone’s been fucking with her meds. I think that someone got rid of her real psychiatrist and replaced him with a plant. I think the new psych is either trying to encourage her to become a more invested cult leader, possibly the cult is becoming like... more intense without her knowledge and they’re trying to turn her into a saint by removing her meds and encouraging her delusions. OR someone is trying to work out what REALLY happened in the woods and they’re manipulating her so that she’ll tell them the full story while she’s vulnerable and confused.

Either way, I’m 99.9% sure someone’s deliberately fucking with her at this point, and it’s actually really pissing me off because I can’t stand seeing vulnerable people, esp mentally ill people, being manipulated and used. It’s a HUGE thing for me, and ... aaaaaah whoever’s behind this shit I hope they meet Shauna on a very bad day.

#yellowjackets #spoilers #theories #I think I'm right on this one even though I really do not want to be #long post

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