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#it's really tiring and boring
boyruggeroii · 1 year
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I know beating yourself up is pointless but when you make a decision even though you know exactly what the consequences are going to be, because it's habit at this point, then not beating yourself up is really hard cause the circumstances themselves are beating you up
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i am asleep much in the way that Wally is asleep. that is to say, I Am Not Sleeping
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kirby-the-gorb · 3 months
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livin that spoonie life
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forecast0ctopus · 20 days
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idk if you still draw merlin art that much BUT ,
i always headcanon arthur with long hair for historical accuracy . what do u think of it? what long hair would you give hin?
i’m bad at focusing on multiple things at once which is why i tend to only post art of one thing for a few months straight but trust me i think about merlin and all my other interests All The Time…. i am always up to talk about them!!!
anyways i know this probably isn’t the answer anyone wants but. historical accuracy be damned i like his hair short…… if i Had to have it longer id want it like that scruffy haircut they almost gave him in s4ish? if i remember? i love a disheveled looking man <3 im sure thats not at all what you meant by long hair though haha
consolation arthur sketch for me not being a long hair person:
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54625 · 1 month
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people can keep coming up with angsty headcanons about why qPac passes out (crashes) so much- like he's got low blood pressure from not eating properly or he's exhausted from not sleeping properly- and I accept that
but to me he's just that one character in a kids movie that keeps getting injured as a gag. like he's just constantly tripping over roots and whacking his head off the ground, birds just constantly seem to drop rocks specifically on his head, people just keep inexplicably slamming doors into his face without realising it. qPac is just such a cartoon character to me I'm sorry
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secretmellowblog · 7 months
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It’s odd how lots of writers basically turn Inspector Javert into Claude Frollo?
In the original novel Javert is not obsessed with Jean Valjean. It is not his life’s goal to capture him. He is a police officer who is bad because he is a police officer; he’s bad because he’s just doing his job, and his job is to enforce cruel violent bigoted inhumane laws. He reunites with Jean Valjean by coincidence and just seems mildly annoyed by it. He doesn’t care at all about Jean Valjean any more than he would care about literally any other criminal in the world (until the barricades, which is the first moment when he does develop complicated emotions for him.) Javert isn’t bad because he is obsessed with Valjean— he is bad because he is a cop, and as a cop it is his duty to be mindlessly cruel. He is indifferent to Jean Valjean on a personal level. He is not obsessed, he’s an authoritarian.
But Frollo!
Frollo is a character who has a deep personal obsession with someone, pursues them relentlessly out of that personal obsession, and then uses the law as an tool to abuse them. Frollo is the one who makes it his life’s mission to capture some random person who did nothing wrong and use the full power of the law to torture them for his own gratification.
I kinda don’t understand why it’s so common for Les Mis adaptations and stuff to turn Javert into Frollo by making him ~personally obsessed with Valjean~ and ~making it his life goal to catch him.~ It severely undercuts the novel’s political message about the evils of the prison system, and also just makes Javert a far shallower and less compelling character. It makes him evil in a way that isn’t even interesting to read and has nothing very valuable to say.
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x-other-souled-x · 6 months
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No. Nope.
Using language that systems may also use in a medical setting to describe their expereinces and go through treatment is not appropriation. Full stop.
There is no culture being exploited, unless you want to argue that the medical-industrial complex is a closed culture somehow.
Which I have definitely seen posts saying something dangerously close to this, and I urge you to not base your entire sense of self on the guys making money off of you. Even if they're helping, there's intentional siphoning of money from poor patients.
Secondly, language is a tool used to communicate. Words exist as "bodies" to a concept, and sometimes this concept is interpreted a little differently from person to person. There are a lot of words that mean several different things depending on the context. The most important thing is the setting which they're used in. A good ammount of medical terms are also words that are used by laymen in other contexts, meaning something different.
A system is a group of interrelated parts working together as a whole.
An Operating System (OS) is a system of code and software that tells the hardware what to do in order to make your computer run. There's agricultural systems, government systems, the solar system itself. Are these things appropriating the medical-industrial complex by existing as parts that make one whole thing work?
And before anyone splits hairs about this, I am not equating human life to computers or the government. These are examples of things that are literally defined AS SYSTEMS. The main takeaway you should be having here is that system is a broad term with many many applications outside of the medical-industrial complex. That one institution does not own the word nor the concept of being multiple parts (headmates/alters/whatever) working together.
The concept still exists and system still is a word outside of a medical context.
In other words, people would have eventually came to the conclusion of calling themselves systems regardless of if it was used in a medical context or not. It's not hard to put 2 and 2 together, to see parallels in concepts and expereinces and decide those words work just fine. Thank you for coming to my TEDtalk.
This is a post online, made by a trauma-formed system. I'm not going to have the time and foresight to cover every little nuance, and I don't care to be pedantic and pick apart small case instances. At the end of the day, this does not actually matter to how I live my life, how I get therapy, how we as a system have to work together. Endos using terms that are also used in a medical setting (but also used outside of medical settings) is not harmful to me in any way. And quite frankly, I think anti-endo witchunting has done more damage to us as a system trying to figure out how to navigate life than any endo friendly post has. I'm not arguing semantics, I'm going to go live my life and go outside and do my job and pay my bills like everyone else.
All this discourse around stealing terms and what you can and can't call yourself is so seriously unimportant in the grand scheme of things. You all sound so comfy and privileged to be worried about something so trivial as a word or three that is used in multiple contexts accross human language.
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lagosbratzdoll · 7 months
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On Daenerys, Colonisation and Race Discourse within the ASOIAF Fandom
This has been on my mind for a good long while and honestly, as much as I would like to leave discourse in the pits, it has been bugging me intermittently over the past few weeks.
Far too many of you get on here and call people who like the fictional dragon-riding family, neo-Nazis and that sentiment is so prevalent, that white people feel comfortable telling me a black woman that I am a neo-Nazi for rooting for Daenerys Targaryen. I am upholding neo-Nazi power fantasies for wanting to see a little girl live at the end of a story. I am a neo-Nazi for wanting to see the rape survivor have the family she aches for and children with the man (or men) she loves.
Then, those same people go on spiels about how the systemic erasure of those who sing the song of the earth and other old races is not colonialism. That their removal from their home is not displacement but an agreement between two equal parties. The fact that the only place where those who sing the song of the earth exist in the present timeline is north of the wall, surrounded by the bones of their dead, is not a travesty. That the expulsion of the old races from their home isn't that bad and should not be condemned. 
Instead, people argue, completely seriously, that the harm that the First Men and Andals have caused is centuries in the past, so essentially the slate has been wiped clean. The logical leaps that are required to arrive at such a boneheaded conclusion are truly mind-boggling, and those who make such arguments are not good people. 
I am unsure how one could read those books and come away with the impression that the old races do not mourn the loss of their home. I am unsure how one could read The Last of the Giants[1] and Ygritte’s reaction to both the song and Jon’s dismissal of the ethnic cleansing of the giants then believe that the old races and the free folk have moved past their displacement. 
In Westeros, from the Wall to the broken arm of Dorne, they all speak one language despite the fact they are all different ethnicities and they all landed on the shores at different times. That is not the case in Essos, we have been introduced to at least six languages and in A Dance with Dragons, Tyrion notes that the Valyrian spoken in the Free Cities has evolved into nine distinct dialects, and they are well on their way to becoming different languages.
How would a continent as large and diverse as Westeros maintain its hegemony over the people if not for forced assimilation, discriminatory practices and violence? The brutal repression required to keep one house in power for thousands of years is nothing to sniff at. The suppression required to keep the vast majority of Westeros worshipping one (or seven) gods. The systems in place ensure that language does not grow or evolve amongst the highborns at least.
Centuries before Aegon's Landing the maesters were the definitive educational authority and even now centuries after, nothing has changed. The grey rats still decide who learns what and when they learn it. There's one in every highborn home, all correspondence passes through them, they are the healers and the councillors.
The circular logic gets even more blockheaded when you factor in the fact that Daenerys is far from the only white character in the books. She is not the only character who wishes for home. She is not the only character who draws strength from her ancestors, her bloodline and her magical creatures. 
Cersei draws strength from her family’s iconography, and the Stark children (Jon included) all draw strength from their direwolves, their home and their blood. Sansa, Arya and Bran wish to return home and their home was built on the indiscriminate murder and displacement of the indigenous peoples. Their home is built on centuries of rape, murder, exclusionary practices and sexual slavery. 
However, if we give the nonsensical argument that time erases crimes air; the Starks, Lannisters and Tullys are warring to settle personal grievances in the present timeline. As a consequence of that war, thousands (a modest guesstimate) of small folk, minor nobles and even some major ones have been raped, tortured, maimed and killed.
Despite all this, no one writes meta after meta about how Sansa and her siblings must surely die for justice to be had for those who sing the song of the earth, the free folk, the giants and all the old races that fled beyond the wall.  
People write meta about Cersei and how she must die, but those are typically more misogynistic nature. They typically argue that she must die not for the “crime” of being Lannister, but for the “crime” of being Cersei and “ruining” Jamie. 
I would not mind criticisms of Dany and her peace-focused approach to ending slavery because the approach is naïve and she gives the slavers far too much ground. However, she is learning, growing and self-critiquing. At the end of A Dance with Dragons, she has decided to embrace fire and blood, her knight is breaking the false peace which is a necessary step forward.
What I find offensive is people saying that she should have planned better before she abolished slavery. And that the death, violence, and sickness that arises from her quest to eradicate slavery is somehow worse than the death, violence, and sickness that already existed in Slaver’s Bay. 
This argument often downplays the horrific conditions and suffering that exist(ed) under the slave system in Slaver's Bay. Such arguments are often in poor taste and prioritise the lives and comforts of the slavers more than the people they have enslaved.
I would not mind criticisms of Dany if people applied that same critique even-handedly. The same people who believe that Jon and Bran have done much to rectify the evil that their ancestors perpetuated believe that Dany has not done anything to right the wrongs of her ethnic kin. They praise them for the non-existent steps that they have taken, but in the same breath, they condemn Dany for not being able to immediately end the plague that is slavery. 
It is perfectly alright to not like fictional characters, no law requires you to like certain fictional characters over others. However, what is not right is making broad accusations about those who do, it is beyond the pale. It is disgusting, and annoying, and trivialises real-world issues to score cheap points against fictional characters.
Equating the survival of a teenage survivor to the restoration of a fascist house or neo-Nazi power fantasy when such designations do not exist in the world of ice and fire is strange behaviour. Saying that the teenage survivor will eventually be manipulated and raped (again) before ending up dead on her manipulator's blade is also strange behaviour. 
Dismissing the horrors of colonialism, especially when the text shows you that the involved parties are still affected by it, is not normal and often veers into real-world imperialism apologia. While criticism and analysis of characters and their actions are valid and even encouraged, it is essential that we do not resort to sweeping generalisations about other people and that we keep criticisms of characters grounded in the text. 
[1]  
Ooooooh, I am the last of the giants, my people are gone from the earth.
The last of the great mountain giants, who ruled all the world at my birth
Oh, the smallfolk have stolen my forests, they’ve stolen my rivers and hills.
And they’ve built a great wall through my valleys, and fished all the fish from my rills
In stone halls they burn their great fires, in stone halls they forge their sharp spears.
Whilst I walk alone in the mountains, with no true companion but tears.
They hunt me with dogs in the daylight, they hunt me with torches by night.
For these men who are small can never stand tall, whilst giants still walk in the light.
Oooooooh, I am the LAST of the giants, so learn well the words of my song.
For when I am gone the singing will fade, and the silence shall last long and long.
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dollsome-does-tumblr · 10 months
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this is the most valid internet article i’ve ever randomly clicked on
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Boutta get real problematic and make a ‘which aphverse man would be the easiest to impregnate’ poll or something lmao
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ticklingmesoftly · 5 months
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I did a thing
Apparently I am a lee of many interests lmao
*Edit: credit goes to @ticklecraze for the template!
Blank template under the cut
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shakingparadigm · 13 days
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this is random but one of my favorite ALNST joke OCs is a girl who had a massive crush on Ivan and was able to date him for a little while because he felt bored enough to accept her. what follows is the most excruciating insanity inducing half-relationship in existence (they lasted 3 weeks before she gave up trying to understand him)
#her name is saya!! saya ng#she had the biggest crush on ivan and when she asked him out he said yes in the most casual way ever that she thought he was joking#the whole time they're “together” she's nervously looking away and blushing while ivan's eyes are trained on that gray haired boyfail there#whenever she'd ask to do couple things with him like hold hands or eat together he'd comply for a little while#but then he'd say something important came up and that he had to leave#she understood because of course! he's a top student surely hes busy no worries#he always seemed to have a wall up. smile never faltering but never fully genuine either#he always looked at her like he was seeing past her and not like he was looking at her person#he was a good and charming conversationalist but even though she got to spend more time with him#it never really felt like a “relationship”. more like two people roleplaying the actions of a relationship#because ivan was so closed off#she started noticing till more all because ivan kept noticing him#and she noticed how he seemed to change when he noticed till. like tills presence was enough to rewire his brain#she quickly realized she was nobody next to him and broke it off#anyways she got sent home because she wasn't good enough to graduate (she wasn't particularly good at anything)#she watched all her friends (dotori/acorn#round 3 and 4 kids)#die on screen#and when she's sent to a different singing competition she loses and dies#her name saya ng combines to make the word sayang#which in my language means: a waste#okay. this was supposed to be funny but now that im saying it#it low-key sounds kind of diabolical#by the way this idea is inspired by the Patreon info about ivan#(he CANONICALLY would accept anyones confession if he was bored enough. V and Q said that theyd tire of ivan being so closed and mysterious)#imagine being in the “recovering from dating ivan” club#alnst#random
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kiwiwi-art-aaa · 7 months
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eepy
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rosycheekies · 5 months
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The Guy She Was Interested in Wasn’t a Guy At All by Arai Sumiko
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freshlypizza · 4 months
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Not every story has a happy ending,
No, some end by the timelines bending,
Some end in a chorus, some end in a war.
People promise to never leave, to stay, they swore,
Promises are always broken, they never last,
A promise not kept, a man doomed to the past.
Two souls always destined fall, made for each other,
Bound to being torn apart, their love is their tether.
Two sisters, related not only by blood,
Meant to leave home, their powers only a bud.
A witch and a mortal, he is always smitten,
She always has to move on, she he has forgotten.
A town always doomed by five higher powers,
Oh, how a town can bloom such beautiful flowers.
No, not every story has a happy ending,
But those that do are always connecting.
A brother and a daughter, two polar opposites,
Never do they follow the pre-written scripts,
They dance the night away,
Waiting for the new day,
Some say it will never come,
Others, to the Lords, will never succumb.
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zebratimw · 10 months
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#svsss#scum villains self saving system#shang qinghua#how I be feeling these days ahdnfjgkg#I keep stressing about life in general and its seriously bumming me out hajdjg#how nice it would be to not exist#everyday I wake up and do the same things I hate#time hasn't felt real in years and it goes way before covid times#I haven't felt real in most of those years either#Look I'm lucky I'm not like depressed or whatever but frankly this derealization shit is seriously startin to get a little worrying at times#tbf I only really notice it recently so maybe its just a bias#I've been chugging along this way for years all thats changed is my perception of it#but at the same time I really want to do more too#I get I'm a very boring and unreliable person#and I know I just said its my perception of it but like I do genuinely think my social skills my general living just like me mentally ig#I'm kinda deteriorating in my stagnation ig? artistically too but more worrying in my life idbfjg#priorities sorry anyways I also think I do have adhd or something and that rejection thing dhfjgjg I really can't start things anymore#idk I really just feel so clueless in most things now and I'm too scared or too confused or both to start fixing things#like how do I even fix things? what do I even search for in this kind of thing?#Idk I'm just gonna go sleep ig god I'm so tired of everything#I haven't been able to draw I've really lost passion for a lot of things again and everything irritates me#I can't stand my phone sometimes but it's kinda the only thing getting me through it all ha#ngl I wish I were depressed sometimes if only so I'd actually have the balls to do smth but Ik that's just the Metnally Ail part speaking so#chug chug going along#I also have to make wushi before I die. haha#god my life is so empty#what am I even doing#I'm really so tired why can't my life end here already? modern lifespans are too long how am I supposed to keep going on like this?#so pointless and vapid and its just me ? why did it have to be me that was born? couldn't someone else have been here I hate it here so much#I strive for nothing but I have such a long life and so many people to disappoint haha maybe I should go outside more
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