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docilepillow · 3 months

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2024 January Media Post Thingy

i dont post on tumblr.com a whole lot i mostly just love to reblog but i wanna see if this novelty thing sticks because for like 2020-2022 i had like a text file i did that i stopped doing in 2023 or so for like video games in particular and i unno it was fun but i got distracted cus half that month i was doing retail anything special happen this year yet? not especially, but since soon ill be very busy with something that IS indeed special, and my bday, i may as well make a post now bc i feel like i will be preoccupied for the first good bit of febuary personally ( exciting life stuff ! ) last disclaimer is that at some point i would want to add movies and shows to this list when i get around to it , but for me december and january've kinda blended in that regard.. me and my friends watched Wonka recently and i was kinda so-so on that just cus' i think the original movies a certain way i guess. oops. i think there were other movies/ shows too and comics as well but once again, december-january blurr for me. Furthermore, any piece of media i pick out for this will also have a completely arbitrary doc-ism secondary title just because i feel like it. Enjoy! VIDEO GAMES! ! MARIO GALAXY 2 < SECOND ROUNDEST MARIO GAME >

I wanna say i spent from the first of january to the third on this game, but my Wii Menu calendar is a little fucked up....

Whoops! Regardless, i do have a bit of a background of not completely " gel-ing " with the original Mario Galaxy gameplay wise in my own friendgroup, to mostly dismayed reactions n junk. In short, i think artistically the game's merits are absolutely fantastic, but since i played it on the switch 3d mario collection some time after sunshine, i do think the control scheme is overall pretty limited, and that does apply to mario galaxy 2, i guess, but methodically, i think playing this game on a wiimote does make the limitation feel i guess more fair in terms of like camera control and deliberacy n stuff... the galaxy games and presentation are completely amazing works of art obviously and theres some good music here but i think between galaxy 1 and 2 i definitely prefer 2 mechanically. i enjoy the level scenarios more thats primarily it, i think. I'm so-and-so on how comets work and how many stars you need to get to get to the end ( I think how comets spawn is a little filler-ey and waiting for them to appear in a level i don't know it'll appear in was a little obtuse to figure out, even if i did eventually manage it and actually enjoy the challenges they offer. its mostly just really annoying comet spawning mechanics that were a drag. a very deliberately- controlling mario i guess and being more familiar with galaxy's control probably was why i was able to enjoy this one more ? Yay! I think i still enjoy 3d world more then this and most other 3D marios, though. It's a good video game and i liked the boss fights in it, theyre surprisingly cool and dynamic for what i'm used to from the mario series. I didn't do the special world, though. i wasn't compelled to go that far past the credits. ( You'd think this game's doc-ism title would come from it being the sequel to mario galaxy, and thus, second roundest, but honestly, i think in terms of the mario series scale, Mario Pinball Land has round mario in it, and galaxy 2's starship mario is definitely, i think, rounder then the comet observatory from galaxy one. That makes Mario Galaxy the third-roundest mario game! )

From around the 6th to the 13th, I ended up playing --- ACTRAISER RENAISSANCE < THE CEREAL-BOX GOD GAME >

actraiser is definitely a mixed video game for me, because i definitely see the merit in it. It's a very unconventional splicing of both sidescrolling and city-development game, a " remake " of a novel SNES/Famicom game with the same premise. You're like a big god of light guy who sends your soul into this little warrior guy who cleanses the land of monsters for around 6 different settlements to florish in with the assistance of a cute little angel friend and whatever area's flavor of local legend the game gives you after a story event or two to hold down the place from encroaching monster dens and such; and, apparently exclusive to this version, there's also little tower-defense segments that come in waves around four or five times per area, which in my opinion are kind of this game's weakest link, but not without like Some kind of merit. At the end of each town segment, there is also a big boss fight, usually tying into the story in some way.

( I think one of the things that genuinely pushed me to give the game a try was the cute angel design in it..... ) (I usually take an excessive number of screenshots whenever i'm playing on switch, just because doing so is very easy and i'm a sentimental freak ( For actraiser R, this is 148 screenshots ) ) ( If i continue doing this next month, i'll try to include the foresight to actually use my capture card for images, instead of taking pictures with my phone.. ) ( I think one of the things that genuinely pushed me to give the game a try was the cute angel design in it..... ) (I usually take an excessive number of screenshots whenever i'm playing on switch, just because doing so is very easy and i'm a sentimental freak ( For actraiser R, this is 148 screenshots ) ) ( If i continue doing this next month, i'll try to include the foresight to actually use my capture card for images, instead of taking pictures with my phone.. ) Some things i like that this game does, alot ---

i think it has a very very cool " world select " map. one very postive thing is that it updates in real time with your progress in the area, so you can watch it all expand from your little sky palace once you've done your buisness there. it's really satisfying and pretty... this game's got really good 2d art, i think. I've heard people be mixed on the sidescroller art in comparison, but i think it's got a charm to it. I think it's cute and while its probably more a budgetary limitation, i do like how everything kind of looks like one of those fantasy stills you can sometimes buy from arts and crafts stores. The framerate on them is like a bit lower then what you'd expect from a modern game but mechanically its still very responsive, which makes me feel like it's a stylistic choice to look more stop-motioney, i guess. Maybe im just a fan of ham, i unno.

In terms of the overhead segments, it's pretty basic and automated, which is fine by me, and perfectly workable for what it is, i think, conceptually ( they build out on your own but you do kind of " guide their hand " when it comes to where paths go, at least. It does lead to a weird meta thing being to zap your own people with holy lightning to destroy stuff you don't want though, which feels flavorfully odd for a benevolent god.... I guess it's fair enough

the main problem with the game is that the tower defense segments, the main major feature and addition of this remake, does kind of take the game's pacing and drop flat in the middle of it. They're usually decently long segments where you can only indirectly fight, and are kind of slow. They also usually need you to protect or have a certain number of buildings left by the end of it ( having all of your farms in tact by the end, defending the main temple, not having every house burned down ) which can be a bit more difficult then it sounds. i dont think the segments are bad or anything, there's just.... entirely too many of them??? like mechanically theyre fine they just happen every other second between story events and it feels kind of padded after like the second one in one area, and there's about 5 per area of increasing difficulty. i definitely think if anything could be reined back, it'd be that. I don't think the story is too special , either, the angel kind of just quips sassily about the story at you from time to time and your followers make requests of you at the temple, usually manifesting in the town segements as " have x number of y " or getting the population to a set threshold, or getting x number of resources. The structure of each area isn't shaken up too much, mostly just " new settlement, find a guy, guy isnt so sure about this lord of light guy but through fighting alongside u and some small character arch, they become a champion of yours or something and you meet the scary boss guy and kill them and weaken the big bad dark lords forces behind it all, but there were two segments i liked, both pretty late-game, with the ice wyvern and this guy named shemall whose only affront to you is having a more popular humanitarian ideology ( who actually becomes the dominant ideology in the segment leaving the church literally empty for a good portion of it , and is only tied into the status quo by the dark lord himself possessing the other temple and shit and starting a really really bad storm of eeevil , who i like a bit ) and a boss in the last area who was implied to once be a force of good but ultimately subservient to the bad guys will, which is basic but i tihnk neat. also they have cool designs. )

Shrug! I think it's neat but it has problems that bog it down! Waah! i dont regret playing it or anything but it's like a 7! ( It's kind of like a game you'd get in one of those cereal boxes, and it's a little cheap, but its endearing to me ? ) TOREE 3D < LEAST-CONSEQUENCIAL SPOILER AWARD >

finished this game the same day i finished actraiser, in one sitting. Ummm... i know this game's like a crowd favorite, and it's, like, solid, but i don't really have all that much to say about it ..... Like, it's an OK platformer, with like really great value for your dollar, but i don't really have all that much to say about it, endearment-wise. I think also that the VHS horror elements are largely unnecessary and are kind of whatever, but I know i'm not really the audience for it. That's the spoiler, i guess. Around the same time, in a date range I don't remember, I basically ended up completely reorganizing my room for Life Stuff, and ended up giving a really cool fan project a try, from a series i've always wanted to try more of, if not for the language barrier, in the form of -- STARFY ORIGINS ( Densetsu no Stafy ) < SPLASHABLE VIDEO GAME >

Waaaaaaaa ! i love starfy ( Stafy? ) You probably wouldn't have the background on it unless you knew me, but i'm a real DS head, and one of my earliest games on the system, one i have vivid memories with, was The Legendary Starfy, an " underwater platformer ", mostly known as being a kirby-like game in style, and being the last entry in a mostly untranslated series of platformers that're japanese-exclusive!

Essentially, what this means for me was that there was , for a very long portion of my kid-years, a bunch of video games out there that i knew i'd be instantly endeared by if ONLY i could play them ( since, even at the time, gba emulation for me was kind of mystical and out of my ability ) ; and , at least in my mind, that meant it'd have just as many lovable characters and such as the the starfy I got to play, anecdotaly meaning the only exposure i'd have to these games beforehand is ferverously looking up stuff on the starfy wiki and watching youtube videos of the final bosses and stuff; basically just lementing for years that " aww,, theres no translation. i guess it's just too obscure " with the rest of the starfy fans i've heard about online, until recently! I emulated this game on Vita and overall i'd just have to say its a cute, decently-novel-but-slightly-padded 2d sidescroller. I'd say it was like ok-levels of worth the wait, but im honestly just floored that a translation of the first game happened at all, and i think its awesome what's been done. It's selfish to want, but i'd really like to try the other DS starfy game sometime, whenever that's translated. It's honestly one of the few loose-end games i can even think of and mechanically that one's a whole lot more out there then this one, which, other then the novelty of playing this game i've only heard murmurs of for over a decade, is just kind of alright. kudos to the fan translators making this game work out!!! I wonder if the team that did this have plans for the others now that this game's been translated....

Wew, halfway down the list, i'm sick of typing, but i'll keep going with ---> DEATHSMILES < SCARY >

Cool bullethell shmup with really tight gameplay my friend endeared me to with a single screenshot and a slightly empassioned ramble i forget the exact context of

idk i think this green girl is neat and the arcade style bullethell gameplay's really fun on steam deck; i just think the girls should be like 7 years older each then what the game says because the loli aspects of this game are kind of uncomfortable and unavoidable and i don't like them at all... the gothic horror halloween aestetic the game has otherwise absolutely rocks and is just up my alley, though. i guess its just part of the style theyre going for, but it's a really unfortunate Japanese quirk you kind of have to just tolerate for the other Very Good aspects the game has gameplay and artisticly wise ( music and art direction is awesome )

the girl's dragon familiar is named booboo by the way. just thought that's important. LITTLE GOODY TWO SHOES < GAME **MOST** RESPONSIBLE FOR SINGLE-HANDEDLY HOME-WRECKING MY BRAIN CHEMISTRY THIS MONTH >

Another game my friend reccomended whicch is completely awwesome and my entire aestetic and i love it alot and i think its my game of the year unless something else comes around and im absolutely floored with it and i went into it completely endeared and its completely wrecked my vernacular and its so pretty and its so artistic and its so different and its so pretty and its so girl and its so gay and im Elise and im in the woods i like being in the woods this game has the best aestetic of any game ive played ever and it feels like no competition and ummmmmmmmmmm

idk just fucking look at it its so so so so good i love this games world so sooso osososoos s oso ososo o os so mcuh its so good it so nice its so charactered genuinely great little slice of life slash horror slash social sim game with admittedly some jank portions of it that piss me off a little bit but holy fucking shit this games aestetic is the best besy best best bersy tbest best thing ever made i think its really really good pelease watch this segment on youtube its so silly

youtube

im not gonna type anything else this game Is its narrative and i dont wanna spoil anything but its great its got a lovely dark fable aestetic and i think everyone should play it especially if you like rpg maker horror type games / are gay as hell / love fairytale aestetics like I do

i like ummmm Lebkuchen by the way. if u wanna know what my ending is. there is some fucked up shit that happens in this game though despite how absolutely adorable it looks. everything in this game points to it being one of my favorites of all time or at the very least it will definitely poison my brain forever at the expense of my friends who havent played it yet. Waaah..... no i dont think talking about a fanmade pokemon rom hack after arguably a massive artistic achievement is disrespectful thats just how the month flows POKEMON ROWE < I broke it, oops... >

really cool open-world emerald rom hack, similar to crystal clear and the like. I've technically played it already, but this is the first time i've completed it, though i completely broke the game really early into it that undermined it in a way i didnt realize for about 7 gyms, before i accidentally nuked the overworld with a massive bug that scrambled my player's gender and made the overworld color pallete fuck-ey, which, im not ggoing tto blame the developer on, i'm summing that up to a cosmic ray or something. i think with time and with more polish i could see myself liking this more then crystal clear, but time'll see. ( Team was as below )

MIGHTY GUNVOLT < tie in video game i've ever played >

typing this like an hour ins making me realize this docism thing might not stick but mighty gunvolt is neat i guess i never finished it when i first played gunvolt and obsessed over that when it was new ( Mighty gunvolt came as a free download if you bought the first game digitally, you see ) because of the first boss, but now as a more experienced gamer, that's really just because the fire boss is kind of just a weird difficulty spike at the start that the rest of the game difficulty wise doesnt really match up to. It's a cute, very short ( i beat all 3 character campaigns in two hours , liesurely ) platformer styled like megaman, and that's all it really needed to be at the time. i wouldnt go out of my way to play it these days if it wasnt for my own baggage with the gunvolt series in general, and if it wasnt for my much greater affection for its sequel, mighty gunvolt burst.... I'm just gonna say if this game interests you , you really should just play burst instead. Even if you've played the latter before, you're really not missing out on much more then a moderately ok side scroller. it sure is a tie in demake on the early 3ds ! 6180 THE MOON

Surprisingly, this game's on alot of platforms? I just kind of chose it on a whim 'cus it was on the top of the list of H-SHOP stuff and i was looking for something short to play, but it's pretty artsy.

It's a puzzle-platformer where the gimick is that the ball wraps around the screen when you fall down or up, which works really well with the 3ds in my opinion. with the compression and stuff on the 3ds and how the game was laid out, it affectionately reminds me of a flash game you'd find on coolmath or the such, and its very relaxed ( if a little wonky ) . i dont have anything bad to say on it or anything its just a small little game i played on a whim. it's very minimalistic, if you're into that aestetic, you might like this. That's the last of the wholy " new " stuff i finished this month, and id say overall its a solid start for me, and kind of out of season ( very octobery-feeling game lineup in retrospect..! But that month's always usually crowded with obligations and stuff, so i doubt i'd be in a mood for them even at that time of year.. )

Also, i gave a try to cavestory on wiiware, first time i've played the game in a few years now since the switch rerelease! I think its just as fun as i found it when i first discovered it on 3ds, and, while i have a friend who adamantly disagrees, i actually really do like the OST of this version. It's a cute mutation on the games ost that in my opinion enhances the kind of forelorn vibe the game originally had, and i really like the blown up art of this version of cave story, even if it does have nichalis's hands all up in the matter. since it's unlocked from the start, i played the game on Curly Story till the true ending. I still love this game alot. Sometime i'll trick a certain individual into finishing it, i hope.

That's all i have to say! this is the first time i've made such a big post on any kind of social media period, so, hopefully its not unreadably disjointed or self-absorbed. Whatever!

play little goody two shoes

#media diary #video games #little goody two shoes #mario galaxy 2 #actraiser #cave story #mighty gunvolt #I hope i didnt put an excessive number of tags on this #shoutouts to marble and brim on discord for the game reccs #video gamer #docile pillow #Youtube

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rhythmmortis · 5 months

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imstill thinking. i want to know so much. Which is ur favorite trio. Ur favorite kh game. Favorite kh world. Whats ur favorite kh headcanon. Thoughts on axel

fave trio: this one is hard but im gonna have to go with wayfinder trio because aqua and terra my beloveds....... the autism duo........ (and also ventus is there and he's cool but i am more focused on aqua and terra because i have so many fucking thoughts about them. where did they come from. how long have they been training and how much do they know about keyblades and history since they were presumably studying. what specifically made them be chosen. i am so excited for their future in the series because AOUGHHH). since i think the series might be headed towards a shift in the 'light good darkness bad' mindset where light might serve as a slightly antagonistic role (what with the whole keykids fighting over light and whatever the fuck is up with MoM, also i think it would just be cool), i think aqua and terra and ven are kinda the perfect trio to explore that with. there's also them ACTUALLY dealing with the aftermath of bbs (since we never really got that!! and i wanna see how their dynamic actually is, how do they deal with the fallout of those events like terra killing eraqus, aqua not trusting ven, ven still technically being pure of heart?) and how aqua is gonna handle basically being the successor the eraqus (especially since aqua BECOMING a master and not terra was part of why shit fell apart. theres drama to be had (even though in bbs xehanort does call terra 'master terra', its just to trick him into trusting him more yes BUT xehanort is still a master. to our knowledge all it takes to name a master is another master seeing them pass some sort of arbitrary test and saying they are. yes xehanort is evil but he is still a master. making terra technically one too. and i wonder how he would feel about that title still, as its everything he wanted but thats how he got it)). i have so many thoughts on them all but it's very chaotic and disorganised so i will move on fkhfdkjh

fave kh game: bbs i love you so so so so much my beloved wonderful game!!! ive talked about this a bit before but bbs is very accessible for me to play since you can choose your own moves and commands so you have a good degree of customisation with how you play, you can choose if your finishers have QTEs (since my hands are kinda shit, i cant really do QTEs or input heavy things, so being able to choose if i want to or not is amazing), command board is actually quite fun and a fun way to level up commands without having to go into combat so you can take a break but still enjoy it, i enjoy the movement options and how varied they are between characters, and its easy to move between commands on the command deck (im looking at you ddd. why do i have to use the goddamn D-PAD). aside from actual gameplay, while the story is a bit clunky at times and theres DEFINITELY room for improvement, i still find it quite endearing and theres some REALLY fucking good moments in there i still think about so often. the fact that terra's final fight is a fight we as the player know he cant win but he fights regardless. and then sprouts a stupid little cape like its from a tissue dispenser for the sake of continuity. terra's voice genuinely cracking slightly when he's crying after he kills eraqus. aqua calling vanitas a freak. the extra chapters in the bbs novel that add so much depth to vanitas and ventus (which isnt in the game but its still so good regardless). the entirety of the secret chapter in aquas route. the vanitas remnant fight (you find what's left of this sad kid, beat him up, and steal his keyblade). good fucking game

fave kh world: for some goddamn reason this is also bbs worlds. what the fuck is wrong with me. it's either land of departure (which we literally know basically NOTHING about and i am so curious about it) or the realm of darkness SPECIFICALLY in the secret chapter.

(^one of many insane ramblings i sent to my friend after playing bbs again and again) when you first start the secret chapter, you're put in a place right after that scene on the bridge thing in the realm of darkness where aqua gets surrounded by the darksides. if you turn around, you can still see it slightly but you physically cannot go back. you can never go back. and being able to see it gives me this really weird feeling like im being watched or followed, and who's to say that she isn't!! the darkness is always lurking!! after that message i also mentioned that while enemies can drop potions and stuff, its never a guarantee and you are constantly fighting for even the smallest chance of surviving, if that can even be called surviving. your most valuable item that you have (if you have any left) are the ice creams that can trigger command style changes. disney world, the place you get them, is one of the brightest, happiest worlds, and once youre in the realm of darkness, you cannot get any more. you're essentially trading fleeting memories of a happier time as a desperate attempt to stay afloat (you can tell im a kh fan because im essentially thinking about A SECOND TRAGIC ICE CREAM). its a futile and tragic experience which, while 0.2 also has the realm of darkness, the secret episode has such a specific feeling to it i cannot stop thinking about

fave kh headcanon: this one is actually pretty hard because there's so many and i have been losing my mind over other things recently BUT. theres so many headcanons about physical appearance that i love (brown eyes for ALL please put those blue things away, freckles for sora, namine, terra, and a few others, XEMNAS WITH CURLY/WAVY HAIR which is from one panel in the days manga where he's just slightly distorted by water but like. its a good fucking idea, giving characters their normal skin tone back. im looking at you ssbu sora v kh1 sora. they took my boy's melanin (which isnt really a headcanon and more of a genuine anger at the whitewashing), scar headcanons for kairi and sora from where they died, etc). current favourite headcanon is either: aqua using more strategic fighting styles (with teleporation being a BIG part of her bbs moveset, like her unique teleport dodge, her ultimate finisher being teleport spike, and a unique command style being ghost drive) and that either playing into either her feeling detached from everything like a ghost (ghost drive) after being stuck in the realm of darkness for a decade or since these moves leave after images, maybe her developing a fear of isolation (or HERSELF especially given mirror aqua in 0.2), kairi also training with terra because i want her to fight like a fucking TANK instead of being more magic focused. i want her to kill (and if we get a rikai teamup, i think mage riku and tank kairi is such a fun idea), OR the current headcanon/connection of xion to the cavern of rememberance (i talked about it in the tags in this post), but i know theres so many ive had over the years that i genuinely cannot think of right now fkhfdkjh

thoughts on axel: the organisation's assassain. they chose HIM to be the babysitter. and then those kids said 'i could make him feel emotions after a decade of feeling detached from everything' and they did!! they gave him a heart!! but i LOVE thinking about axel during com and i think its the closest we'll probably see of his actual job as an assassain. he AIR FRIED A MAN (and i think in the manga he used his chakrams to physically attack instead). he 'betrayed' larxene and marluxia so easily. he wasn't afraid to go through namine to fight marluxia (that scene where marluxia uses her as a human shield, you can actually visibly see namine shaking in fear and rewatching some com scenes to get gif footage REALLY made me remember that its literally just Kingdom Hearts: Namine's No Good Very Bad Day) but he had NO hesitation. he ordered repliku to STRANGLE zexion. needless to say, this is all treated very casually for him that it makes me think what he mustve done during his time in the organisation to get the status as an assassain. he treats murder as an 'icky job', but on the flipside, when we see him actually care about something, it's just that same drive and motivation but used for his own personal goals (tracking down xion, following roxas in the kh2 prologue which is terrifying without context), but MAN. seeing him from a detached perspective without context is like 'holy shit this guy is scary' and then you play days or read the manga and anything else with him and you realise he's so sillies. wonderful guy 10/10

#kh #YIPPEE I LOVE GETTING ASKS THANK YOU AND I LIKE TALKING TO YOU WAHOO :D #apologies that this is far longer than i anticipated it seems i think about aqua or the realm of darkness or bbs #and black out and wake up to several paragraphs in front of me #long post

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watching-pictures-move · 1 year

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Movie Review | Infinity Pool (Cronenberg, 2023)

This review contains spoilers.

There's a point the movie's trying to make about how wealth can shield you from consequences. I hesitate to call it novel or interesting, at least in how the movie explores this idea. The premise involves wealthy characters vacationing in a backwards-ass country where pretty much any crime is punished by execution, with the catch that if you have enough money, you can pay to have a clone, or "double", in the movie's speak, executed on your behalf. So the hero, after being "executed" for running over a local, joins up with a group of rich assholes as they partake in increasingly naughty antics with impunity, with the added thrill of getting to see themselves violently murdered repeatedly. (For the lulz.)

Which is all well and good for a horror movie premise. But for a movie that's supposed to startle you with shocking, gross, repulsive imagery, I never felt sufficiently shocked, grossed out or repulsed. (I should disclose that I'm the kind of person who thought it was a good idea to do a double feature of Forced Entry and Water Power last month, so clearly my definition of what is repulsive should be taken with a grain of salt.) This is directed by Brandon Cronenberg, son of another more famous Cronenberg you may have heard of, and he's very much following in his father's footsteps, to a fault. I compare those early movies from Papa Cronie, which had a certain crackling, punk rock energy, with gross out imagery that felt off the cuff, and this feels more studious, belaboured. Gross out imagery should get a jolt out of you. Creepy imagery should worm its way into your subconscious. What I saw here felt both too deliberately considered and at the same time, "level one" imagery. You get creepy masks, the hero standing in what looks like tomato soup (hopefully not gazpacho, as that would be uncomfortable), strobe light sex, all of which is wacky, but not much more than that. (Fellas, is it gay to pee on your own double?) The camera is trained on these sights intensely, so that any surprise they might have provided is sure to dissipate, rarely lingering once the movie cuts to something else.

Regarding the strobe light sex, Junior's erotic imagination seems limited compared to his father's, and I never got the sense that he found any of what was playing out to be terribly exciting or hot, even in theory. Compare that to the arcs of Videodrome and Scanners (and a whole bunch of other Papa Cronies) and you can see how those movies capture an empowering, sometimes erotic quality in the proceedings and actually try to make us complicit in what the heroes do. Junior observes from a distance, mocking the obnoxious rich assholes we're stuck spending time with. He's taking notes from the movies of his father and other esoteric horror filmmakers from generations past. He takes all of this and summarizes it into a movie which he presents to you in a gesture of obnoxious ingratiation, nudging you repeatedly as he speaks. "Hey man, wanna see something fucked up? Careful, things might get a little weird." Sure, Brandon.

I should be a bit more even handed and say that the movie didn't actively annoy me, just left me pretty unimpressed. At the very least, it's pretty nicely shot, and has some interesting visual ideas that might have worked better had they been freed from such overly deliberate presentation. I did like the scene where the villains taunt the hero by making him walk in front of their car while they heckle him and yell at him to walk faster, which is one moment that didn't feel mimeographed from Papa Cronie's movies and was pretty funny to boot. I think Alexander Skarsgard is quite good in the lead, or at least effectively cast, in that he brings a certain deadpan humour to the endless bad decisions he makes, and that his improbable handsomeness seems to be part of the joke. As for Mia Goth, I think early on when she's viewed from a distance, she brings a nice off kilter energy to her sexpot role. But as we get closer and her character comes into focus, the bigger swings she takes do more to demonstrate all the work she's putting into her performance than actually selling her character's state of mind. After seeing three of her acclaimed performances in a row (X, Pearl and this), I'm beginning to think I don't like her very much as an actress.

#film #movie review #infinity pool #brandon cronenberg

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dashawfrostart · 2 months

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This Week In "Time & Again" #12: It's Alive... Alive! Honest! And A Little Sour, And A Bit Sweet!

Guten Fhtagn! It's been... a while again.

(this is just a colourful teaser for you now, because it feels silly to make a post that starts with a wall of text - even though I personally love walls of text. Keep reading and you'll find out why those weird empty rectangles are here! And as I often do: there's an animated GIF in the end of the post!) Lately, life has sucked me into a giant cycle of great and lush eventfulness. Kinda as if I hopped into a funnel and then swirled around a bit. I might even say it was fun (haha, fun funnel 😁 What, not funny?.. Lame?.. Aah, well then). So, below goes a straightforward chronological report on what happened to "Time & Again" during this long looooong period of my blogging hiatus.

2 weeks ago I've actually spent only a few days working on "Time & Again" - much less than anticipated. As I always say, life usually takes away so much time from art!.. 🤣 However, it's always a choice. Because I'm not drawing 24/7; never did, and perhaps never will - because otherwise I'll never go birding, among other things. And birding is love. Birding makes Frosty happy. I wanna see more nuthatches and northern flickers around me, preferably every day, when possible. Too much to ask? Yes! But life is always about setting priorities straight and meticulously balancing the things you love and want to do. Because something always goes first, and something other goes second (third, fourth, etc.). So that is what I'm trying my best to do here.

But that was only half of the problem. The other half of the problem was about my futile endeavour to relight the creative spark that was seemingly extinguished over the course of the previous 2 weeks - perhaps due to the reasons mentioned above in this post. I'm always very hesitant to take breaks as I work on my projects, because it breaks immersion - and getting back into the mood again might pose a serious challenge. That is exactly how some of my novels/stories failed to see the light of day in the past. Now, since the work on Chapter 5 is nearing to its end - yes, it's almost done!!! - it's just very disappointing to slow down and having to look for the spilt marbles on the floor (however, Lothar, personally, will definitely benefit from at least TRYING to find his own marbles 🤦‍♀️ dear goodness, that man is indomitable). The work still went well, but without excitement I previously had. And I perpetually have serious problems trying to figure out a personal cure for the "lack of spark" issue: not even once in my entire life have I found a resolution that works wonders like a panacea for me in situations like that.

That said, with all of the distractions and not-exactly-creative events with myself in the epicentre, I managed to keep my word and created a Krita forum thread featuring majority of WIP screenshots from Chapter 5, which you can view following that link. Now, my only objective in this regard is to keep updating it 😁 (what I'm kinda failing at recently)

While not being exactly productive with "Time & Again" - that is only up until this week (read ahead) - in the meantime I have reconsidered a couple things that are related to the artistic part of my existence. One of the decisions was to take down the links to my DeviantArt account sometime after this post goes life. The reasoning behind that decision is as simple as an egg: because I don't post anything on DeviantArt anymore. And I keep forgetting to do it anyway. And I keep forgetting simply because it doesn't really matter. In the recent years I perceived DeviantArt to be nothing but a sort of a personal sketch/art dump simply for the sake of gaining more exposure [not really - read an UPD note ahead]. Let's be honest here: DeviantArt is not a good place anymore. It used to be awesome in 2008-2010 or around - for me anyway. But nowadays... Not so much. I don't think I want to delete it yet, for I still want to pop up, perhaps, once or twice a year and dump all the new artworks in there for the future archival purposes - and in case if somebody might be still interested. But for now, I view my DA account as an almost completely dormant collection of trash masterpieces of yore. So I will stop promoting it for the reason of it being obsolete like the morning dew beneath your feet in its current state. (holy effing smokies, that song was very difficult to find to provide a link to! 😱) [UPD 2024/03/12]: my aim with this was originally a bit off - which I realized only now. Aside from it being a random artworks dump, my decision to keep my DeviantArt account alive was precisely for linking back to it: meaning, I was thinking about uploading artworks on there in order to specifically use them in my posts and on the websites. So, yes, it is a relatively dormant collection, but also a convenient stash of art things to utilize elsewhere (thank you, id Software, for teaching me this word! 🤣). I'll see if that really works out in the future tho.

There's also something else that I don't to reveal just yet, and I'll keep it a secret for now 😉 I must try something before I jump to conclusions.

HOWEVER!.. This last week has changed the tides considerably, in my favour. Again, having only a very hypothetical and a rather unclear clue on why that happened - what, I must admit, mesmerizes and puzzles me to a great extent - that long-longed-for spark I thought I had lost along the way somehow magically returned back to me after I spent a few hours (and 2 days in total) of writing an arch-important "Notes & Commentary" section for the reissue of all the previous "Time & Again" chapters that is nigh (here, I teased ya. Now live with it 😎🤣). I really like "Time & Again". Even while it's still incomplete. Even if Lothar is just a stubborn a**. Even if a certain other character has quite funky fetishes. Even if Jeanny is perhaps dealing with her own little pinky demons. I really like "Time & Again", and I really enjoy its style, so revisiting the whole thing for the sake of writing additional materials for it quite possibly worked in a positive way on my spark. I love you, my spark. Let's keep it this way for as long as we can from now on. So now the work goes quite well, and I feel very good about it. There's still something troublesome that needs to be dealt with... but that'd be a painful tale for yet another post.

And, of course, I experimented with some Krita stuff again - for it seems, Chapter 5 really marks a period of great technical discoveries for me.

For example, finally, after all these years 😅🤣, I learnt and made a very good use of the toggle "All Layers" and "Current Layer" settings of Contiguous Selection Tool (that'd be your Magic Wand tool, ya Photoshoppers around - including my past self). That helped me to speed up flood fill of the certain areas. Speaking of flood fill and all, I experimented more with the "smart fill" as well. In the previous post, I was dreaming about an advanced AI algorithm to automatically recognize and colour the characters according to a user-prepared colour pallete. I might be exaggerating a bit, but flood-filling flat colours on every page felt almost stupefying - and, in short, not fun. I've read a little about the potentials to automate the process in Krita and have discovered a few neat tricks that I might use to speed up the process of colouring of the next Chapter. But right now - that's a story for another day in the future. And at last, let's talk about the backgrounds. I find it that the backgrounds that are just, let's say, "placeholders" and don't contain the surroundings of the characters are sometimes challenging. And in Chapter 5, there's gonna be plenty of those - because oh boy do I love long conversations! (strong self-awareness and self-mockery go here) And most of these conversations don't even require detailed environments for the backgrounds! Because people are just friggin' talking! And their surroundings don't matter on those particular panels. I've looked through quite a few graphic novels and comics at the local book store to get extra inspirations - but very often I see that the artists simply fill the panel with a solid colour. Completely flat. I must admit, I'm deeply hesitant to do the same, because I like at least a little texture on storywise-insignificant solid colours. It gives... depth.

So this is what I've been doing so far (and yes, you guessed it now! the picture in the very beginning of this post is very relevant here!):

While the "flat solid colour" on the background just seems... too flat, I decided to utilize a gentle gradient as a base, and then to apply additional brush strokes on a separate layer with special blending mode in order to create the effect of imperfection and ever so slightly visible texture to it. After a few sessions of trial and error, and thinking about how it feels and if it matches the mood of the chapter, I ended up using a couple of watercolour and splatter brushes together, in black, and the layer blending mode that I figured worked best for me was Soft Light (SVG). As illustrated by the following GIF:

And LAST (but as usual: not the least, but I won't cover "the least" in this current post for now, for the post is already a fatso - typical, innit?!), I've learnt how to use Filter Layers for the quick colour correction on the go. And this might be extremely useful in a long run for the future chapters of "Time & Again". I might cover this in one of my next posts.

That should be enough for now. So let's summarize: I most certainly did NOT disappear because "Time & Again" ceased to exist, or because I've been abducted by aliens, or because I got carried away giving belly rubs to pinky demons, or anything alike. I disappeared BECAUSE I was working hard on my story, even though at times it didn't go as smooth as I wanted to 😉.

Well, folks, let's wrap it up for today, and see you next time in another blog post! Take care! You will see Lothar in action again soon enuff! 👋

#TimeAndAgainbyDWF #This Week In Time And Again #graphic novel #krita

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lunarsniperwifle · 5 months

Text

Now for some Bloom Into You thoughts!!! Ill put it under a read more since its easy to hide lots of text that way & just in case anyone new is looking into the series they can avoid the read more spoilers. I loved it a lot :3

To no ones surprise now that i have all the manga i finished the main bloom into you story (so have the anthology manga and the 3 spin off light novels now!) Volume 3 & 7 got delivered today, i had the rest and read 1 & 2, and then 3 - 8 all got read today lol.

It was very cute!!! I can see why a lot of ppl treat it as a good "beginner" yuri/gl story for ppl to get into the genre with & a good "what if i like girls" story for self discovery. Very cute coming of age, dealing with finding out what kind of person you are, what love means to you, how your actions can accidentally impact others & make them upset in complex ways, why communicating is so important.

I really liked the change up of the play being a way for Yuu to push Touko into accepting who /she/ is rather than living on as her sisters replacement. It hurt so much seeing her bury her feelings for long, and have no one to talk to about it to process what shes feeling. Poor babygirl was suffering so bad, and couldnt tell anyone. Im glad Maki didnt beat around the bush at the batting cage, and that Saeki got the courage to confess and tell her definition of love which really helped Touko. Im excited to read her story in the light novels!! Im glad we get her perspective and eventually her love <3

And it had some side characters who are adults and gay which was really nice. I enjoyed the ending a lot too, it didn't just flat end at "we accept we love each other mutually" it went beyond that (was spicy but also got some time skip panels too, makes me excited for if the anthologies or LNs have any post ending stories and such). And the rings!!!!! I hope they werent just "cute ring" but like engagement rings of some sort. Ik touko didnt really care for labels, but it would be so cute if she was the one to propose and show yuu she does care and considers yuus feelings abt couply stuff. Also the "were girlfriends right" lil bit was adorable, and then shoving the parents out so they could be together in the house. And the dream of them being together (been there Yuu) and touko like validating that feeling of "of course well be together and live together in the future". Also Yuus sister internally clocking "my sisters gay' and being happy for her and supportive, such a good sister. So many gay lil happy thoughts.

Since the bluray was 50% off today got that on the way (i think the anime only ever got to like the 5th? Manga volume before ending from what i read? It was mentioned in one of the afterwords too) so thatll be exciting to watch too.

And then i can start the whisper me a love song once the extra bloom stuff is read! It seems cute, i mainly got it cause theres an anime adaptation coming soon and ppl were excited abt it so i figured why not read it and have the anime to look forward to!

#gay ramblings #bloom into you #its so cute and good!#im really glad i read it #excited for the anthologies and LNs #thanks for reading if you did :3

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eriisaam · 6 months

Note

WIP fic asks: 1, 12, & 15!

Oh! Thank you~ 😭💖

(for anyone who missed it this is in reference to this: https://www.tumblr.com/eriisaam/733396818115919873?source=share )

What are you most excited about when you start to write it/publish it?

That it gets done, at least in a stable/solid enough state to share. 😭

Granted it's also equally exciting and terrifying in hoping that what comes out is coherent and turns out at least decent, but it's new territory for me with the wip I was thinking about with that ask list in that not only is it an original work story, but an attempt to fulfill a lifelong dream of making a game of some kind (it's a script for a visual novel, just in its early state it's in fic form right now that I've been kinda haphazardly working on and off on).

It's not technically the first time I tried to make an original-work fic, but all my other works up to this point tend to be in scattered states of progress, disjointed on what I have to show for them or what's figured out for them due to varying constraints (same issue with current fandom stuff too even, my summoner/feh OCs lore and art are all over the place too), and a lot of past attempts at making something original either wound up shelved, scrapped, or lost in time due to various circumstances.

This project in particular is the first that got far enough to have a set plan (however roughly), a cast with consistent ideas of how they look and feel (not just a name and a vague yet-to-have-a-face concept), and I'm at a place now I feel like I can approach learning how to make it the way I wanted (the game side of it) when in the past I felt really easily confused and discouraged pretty much right at the start.

So even if it gets to a state I can actually share even the characters or snippets of their world, or the project in its completion, it already means a lot to me even at that state, and further than I got before. I've also got other projects cooking alongside of it too, but this project is the furthest out of them so far, and seeing even one of them see the light of day helps have faith in the others too later on.

How far have you planned ahead?

I feel like I have a definite start, and a definite conclusion point, but the problem I'm stuck at is the actual specifics of how we got from point A to B and the specific details throughout. (A problem that follows me a lot even in fanfics haha orz) On the bright side it has the most of itself figured out to see a rough roadmap of the story I wanted overall, rather than just a collection of fragmented ideas like a lot of my wips are/end up being, or a play-it-by-ear work until the "and then what?" wall like a lot of other fics otherwise. It's been very much like the Plankton meme from here on out of "Well I didn't think I'd get this far".

I also had rough concepts of a lot of factors determinant of the MC of the story and how the story shifts and where, though in its current state I'm trying to plan out at least one complete story start-to-finish first before getting too far ahead in those beyond concepts. (It's not necessarily a "canon" set of events, but just enough to cover the most ground in the first pass before the branch-offs happen.)

Do you have any unwritten scene that you think about a lot?

A lot, yeah. There's one that is in a place really late in I'm working up to that's very spoiler-heavy, but there's another early on that I'm still thinking about and keeping my fingers crossed whatever iteration of it that it settles on would carry the feelings across that I hoped it would.

One 'scene' that's early enough I think is safe to spoil a bit about might be a bit of a stretch cuz it's more of a theme and intent for multiple scenes than just one particular scene: How the MC meets the rest of the main reoccurring cast and gets his ducks in a row, and establishing early parts of them I hope carries through.

Specifically, the MC in question is named Enoli, and at the start, he was already recently living together with one of the reoccurring main cast, Hiroto. Eventually, there'll be others that appear and are recruited into the fold from varying backgrounds and happenstance (maybe it's safe to also reveal this is a BL magical boy series, for better context), and while I have set plans I want to start with for now in its fic form, in game form I was hoping they might vary in order and timing to an extent. I sorta get nervous of the first impressions they make and whether or not the intent I have with them carries across well enough. (Let alone later on when the order you get them has subtle differences later on.)

Enoli and Hiroto are set to be the first you start off with, and right from the start, I wanted and hoped they carry their hints across on the how-we-got-here's of the two. Hiroto is very frail, sickly and bedridden, and can't do much at first, and Enoli would risk everything, including his life, to try to get him medicine, and his cat some food and supplies, even if he has to defy his instinct (or rather, the player's input) to do it. They both newly moved in together, yet the only thing actually moved in proper is all the treats and toys and assorted other things for his beloved cat. Everything else are still in boxes. Hiroto's things in particular were haphazardly packed, and many possessions outright destroyed. Why?

I want to tell just enough that I hope I get some questions going, but I worry of crossing the fine line between being vague enough to either hint something more or spark answers, or become too vague as to be cryptic and confusing. And I want similar hints to tell something of the other eventual characters, but not enough to tell too much, too soon, all at once. For one later characer, I even wanted to challenge him with setting him up for a bad first impression, but I still feel equally curious of how well it'll go, but also scared of putting him OOCly in a bad light.

More specifically, there's one character later on who accidentally roughly bumps into Enoli. To Enoli, it was just an accident, both mean well, and there's no harm and no foul. But to the perspective of Enoli's beloved cat - ever the protector - he thinks that man actually did worse to Enoli than what happened actually, and ends up hostile and protective as a result of the misunderstanding, something that remains and shapes how he and Enoli's cat react to one another for quite a while. Maybe it's me being too tilted of extreme bad-faith reads on fandom getting to me, but it's details I think of constantly and worry and weigh if it's worth going into directions like that.

Either way, thanks for lending an ear~

#From the inbox #Thank you!#Maybe later on I might go into even more details of this particular project #but for now I'm waiting until I have a bit more visuals to show the cast themselves first #I've just been slow clearing up some backed up almost-done stuff first

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littlepadika · 3 years

Text

Calling Home (1) | Frankie Morales x Reader

Summary: You are a receptionist at the VA. Frankie Morales keeps calling. Yearning ensues...

Rating: M -> E in later chapters

Warnings: fem!reader, age gap (legal), praise kink, voice kink, discussion of addiction/PTSD/trauma, no use of y/n, no beta reader, reader is bad at Spanish, Frankie has a sexy voice 😩

Masterlist here

AN: My first fic. Pedro writers have inspired me to finally start writing again 🥺. Concept inspired by the movie RED. I hope you like it ❤️Set after triple frontier.

Chapter One

~~~~~~~~~~~

The first time he called was an ordinary Thursday.

“Veterans Affairs, how can I help you?”

You had been working at the VA office for about two weeks. Fresh out of college you felt lucky to have a job in the first place. You went to school to be a writer but your big idea for 'The Next Great American Novel' had yet to present itself. At least here you had access to the most inspiring stories and interesting people. Men and women who had seen more and done more than you probably would in your entire life. You loved talking to clients on the phone. It was weird but something about only being able to hear people’s voices excited you. You would sometimes write little stories in your head about the people you'd talk to, filling in the details that were unknown.

Your desk accessories reflected your love of books and writing. You had your growing collection of books sitting on your desk sandwiched between baby pink bookends. Next to them was a matching desk organizer filled with your favorite sparkly pens and sticky notes. You had decorated the plain cubicle walls with posters of quotes from your favorite books. You also brought your favorite candle from home. Even though you couldn’t light it you still liked to lift it to your nose once and a while and smell it between chapters. When you weren’t on the phone or scanning documents you would read. You finished To Kill A Mockingbird in your first week on the job and were now halfway through Murder on the Orient Express.

You were starting a new chapter when Frankie Morales called the first time.

You picked up the phone on the second ring already mustering your chipper 'customer service' voice. “Veterans affairs.” You stated your name. “How may I help you?”

“H-Hi. My name is Frankie- uh-Francisco Morales." A deep voice answered you. "I’m calling because I have gotten my benefits check yet. It’s been a month. I was hoping you could tell me if it got sent?”

“Okay Mr. Morales." You flipped on the computer. "Let me check. Can you spell your last name for me?”

“M-o-r-a-l-e-s”

“Okay... let's see.” You clicked on his account. You were momentarily distracted by his picture likely taken when he graduated basic if you had to guess based off the uniform. He looked sweet. Sharp nose and strong jaw balanced by kind eyes and a shy smile. You could imagine how age would continue to soften his expression making him even more handsome. The image was a strange juxtaposition to the voice you were hearing on the phone which was much deeper and rougher. His profile said he was special forces. A pilot. The rest of the information was blacked out. Something you were used to seeing on many people's accounts but even his years of service were redacted. He must have been involved in some dangerous stuff, you thought to yourself. The dates that were not redacted were mostly in Latin America. You clicked over to processing requests. “Looks like the check got sent one week ago.” You informed him.

"I'll look again but I haven't seen anything-" It sounded like he was apologizing when clearly it was not his fault.

"No no. It's probably a mistake on our end." You interrupted. With how shitty and outdated the payroll interface was you wouldn't be surprised if there was a mix up. "I’ll go ahead and let payroll know to send another."

"Great. Thanks." He replied sounding relieved. The roughness in his voice gave way to a smooth baritone.

“No problem. I'm sorry for any inconvenience it may have caused. We'll get it sent right away." You hoped he was not relying on this benefit check for anything important. While you could promise you'd fix the problem, the administration was notoriously slow. When he didn't respond you asked, "Is there anything else I can help you with today, Mr. Morales?”

“Uh-no" The roughness back in place. "Thank you." He paused before adding your name onto his thank you which made you smile. People usually never remembered your name.

“Alright. Have a nice day and thank you for your service.” You chirped before hanging up. The smile he put on your face lingered for a few minutes as you returned to your book.

The next time he called was exactly twelve days later.

“Veterans affairs” you answered, your routine greeting cut short as your eyes were still on your book.

“Hi- I’m calling because uh I still haven’t gotten my benefits check. This is Frankie Morales.”

“Oh Mr. Morales.” You recognized his voice even before he even said his name. You quickly shut your book, pushing your hair out of your face. Had you been thinking about him? No! Okay maybe you stared at his picture for a few minutes longer after he hung up. Yes, it was probably very unprofessional but you couldn't fight the curiosity. You were trying to rationalize the contrasting sharpness and softness of his features with his voice. How it all worked together. How one person's voice could change textures and colors so easily. You wondered what kind of things this man might have seen on the job. Most of the veterans you would help day to day did not have so many redacted missions and deployments. You were in the middle of Narcos season one so you immediately thought of drugs or something equally dangerous. After much pondering, you had come to the conclusion that Frankie Morales was both insanely attractive and insanely courageous. “Still no check, huh?”

“Nope.” He sighed the sound making the phone's shitty speaker crackle as you held it to your ear.

“Let me just check that it was approved...“ you found his profile again and scrolled to the status page. “Hmm... it says it was sent out last Friday after we spoke. That’s so weird...”

“Yeah. Really weird.” He echoed your frustration on the other end.

Typical payroll, you thought to yourself as you rolled your eyes. “I'll get another one sent to you right away. I'll see to it myself.” You tucked the phone under your chin and typed out a short email to Mary in payroll letting her know you'd be stopping by her office to explain the situation. You realized he hadn't hung up yet.

“Sorry for the back and forth.” You said, trying to fill the silence.

“It’s not your fault." The earlier irritation gone. "You’ve been really helpful.” His voice sounded warm and reassuring. Less gruff than it was last you spoke. Instead it was that rich baritone that you caught of glimpse of last time.

You feel your face warm at his compliment. It was this annoying reflex you had. Praise always made you blush no matter what context but it was worse when it came from a (you assume) gorgeous stranger.

“And just to verify that your address is correct- you’re on Maple Lane in Miami, Florida?”

“That’s right.” He confirmed.

“Okay. Sent!” You clicked send on the email, which caused the window to close and reveal Frankie’s profile page again. “I was curious-" You spoke before you really made the decision to speak. You didn’t want to overstep but once again your curiosity got the better of you. Honestly, you were just searching for a way to keep him on the phone. The day had been so boring.

“Your profile says you were stationed in Costa Rica.”

“For a bit.” He replied after a moment. He didn’t sound too defensive but there was definitely some tightness in his answer that made you feel bad for asking. Like you were scratching a wound.

“Did you like it? The country I mean.”

“Are you planning a trip?” He sounds a little amused.

“Yeah- well- kind of. It's more a trip in my head right now. I’d like to go there one day. It looks so beautiful.” You sighed closing your eyes trying to imagine the heat on your skin.

“It is." He agrees. "Really humid though.”

“Mm that sounds nice.” You would kill for some warm weather after such a long winter in DC.

“It was too muggy for me at times." He grumbled. "If you do go, stick to the costal areas where it’s more breezy or else you’ll just be sweating the whole time.”

“I don’t mind a little sweat” you shrugged, still thinking of the awful east coast winter you were currently suffering through. The sexual connotation of what you said hit you hard as soon as you heard the statement in its entirety. You felt your face flush again, though the man on the other end would never know.

“I’m learning Spanish!" You announced loudly trying to move the conversation past your awkwardness.

“Wow. Muy impressivo.”

“Si” you replied but after a moment you admit “I don’t really know what you said.”

Frankie laughed loudly on the other end and you couldn’t help but join in, drawing dirty looks from the elderly lady, Donna, working in the cubicle across from you. You ducked your head behind a stack of papers to avoid her glare.

“Fake it till you make it.” He chuckled.

“Maybe you should help me out.” You took on an indigent but still playful tone. “You sound better than duolingo” Your smile widened when he laughed again. His laugh was what you hoped it would be, by all your assumptions from his picture. It was an unencumbered, unburdened, rich sound with only a hit of roughness from the air behind it.

“Tell me you’re not using that dumb app to learn.” he scoffed, saying your name in an almost scolding tone.

“I’m got my thirty day streak today.” You boasted.

“You’ll be a total tourist if you go by duolingo.”

“But the owl is so cute every time I get something right!” You argued your voice taking on a more childish cadence.

“That’s how they trap you, silly girl.” He teased right back. Usually such a condescending nickname would piss you off but something about the affection behind him using it made you feel very differently. You felt warm like you were proud to be silly as long as it made him laugh.

“Then you saved me just in time, Mr. Morales.” You bit your lip. His scoffing and laughter died down on the other end.

“Frankie” He corrects you.

“Frankie…” You repeated it, smiling at how well the nick name suited the voice over the phone. Honest, sincere, and not pretentious at all. Way better than the pompous guys you know with equally stuffy names like “Edward” and “Christopher.”

“So what do you want to know?” Frankie interrupted your thoughts. “Dime”

You started asking him questions in Spanish to the best of your ability. Granted they weren't particularly probing questions. What is your name? What is your favorite color? What is your favorite animal? What's your favorite book? I am reading Gone Girl. He answered them all with patience and amusement, occasionally interrupting you to correct your pronunciation or explain what a word meant. Every time you’d repeat the word back correctly he would say something like “good” or “there you go” or “you got it”. You hated to admit that his kind words and his praise was doing something to you. You didn't even realize you were clenching your legs together unconsciously, almost in anticipation of his next correction or next answer. His low voice so sweet and encouraging against your ear, more tangible when he was speaking Spanish. You just wanted to hear more of it. Would it be this sweet in other situations? Would it get huskier or rougher? If you closed your eyes it was like he was sitting right next to you. It would be all too easy to slip into that daydream and escape the dull office.

Suddenly out of the corner of your drooping eyes you saw a flashing red light on the phone console meaning another caller was waiting.

“Shoot- i’m sorry, Frankie- I have to take this call.” You shot forward in your chair, legs uncrossing.

“Of-Of course. I should let you get back to work.” He sounded a little sad or so you hoped. You felt bad for interrupting him after you both were having so much fun. You wanted to say he could wait on hold but he killed that idea when he said, "I have work too. Technically I'm five minutes past my lunch break."

Your pout turned to a smile. He was spending his precious lunch break with you? Get a grip! you snapped at yourself.

“You’re welcome to call again if you want.” You threw out the offer in a small voice, scared you would be rejected. You peered over the cubicle wall to see if you were still being glared at. Thankfully Donna was away from her desk. Probably out for a smoke. “It’s really boring here and usually no one calls.”

“Maybe I will.” He replied and you could hear the smile behind those words. You felt your heart clench weirdly in your chest like it didn't know how to process the sudden spike in emotions.

“Bye, Frankie.” You beamed.

“Bye”

This time the smile on your face lasted for hours. Frankie’s laugh echoed around in your head, taunting you, sending your mind to the gutter. His voice went from grit to molasses on a dime. You wanted to be the one to bring out those sounds. You wanted to hear his voice bend and stretch and strain as you fucked him. What the hell is wrong with me? you screamed internally. You had never been so depraved and with a stranger no less! You clearly needed to get laid fast because this much yearning would not end well.

Frankie got the second VA check a few days later and this time he didn’t even feel bad about ripping it in half. He was already reaching for the phone to call you.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Tags: Message to be added 💕 no minors please!

#frankie morales #francisco morales #triple frontier #pedro pascal #frankie morales x reader #frankie catfish morales #pedro pascal x reader #frankie morales x you #triple frontier fanfiction #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal x y/n #frankie morales x y/n #catfish morales #calling home series #i would die for frankie #frankie morales has a sexy voice #daddy!frankie

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gffa · 3 years

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Do you think one could follow the Jedi Code/Lifestyle in real life as a positive manner of living or do you think it only works in Star Wars? I asked this on r/Mawinstallation and the answers I got were either:

''The Jedi code is oppressive so no'' ( this was the most upvoted answer )

''The Jedi code works but only for the Jedi''

''The Jedi code requires the force to work and since the force doesn't exist in the real world, the code cannot work''

And finally, I got only a single reply that said

''Yes, the Jedi code does work in real life, that's the entire point of Star Wars''.

What is your take on this?

This is going to be sort of a long, roundabout answer, but the short version is: In the finer details, we're not space psychics, but as a general idea? Yes. First of all, what even IS the Jedi Code? Are we talking about the whole “there is no emotion, there is peace”/”emotion, yet peace” meditation mantra, which we should point out is nowhere in the movies or TV shows, but is entirely in the novels and comics supplementary material? Are we talking about a more generalized idea of Jedi philosophy? And what, precisely, does that mean? I mean, what’s oppressive about it and what scene evidences that that’s what the Jedi taught? Second, there are two talks that George Lucas gave that I think really illustrate this view of emotional navigation and how that impacts Star Wars and the Force: There’s the writers meeting of The Clone Wars where he talks about the light side and the dark side and there’s an Academy of Achievement Speech from 2013 where he talks about joy vs pleasure: “Happiness is pleasure and happiness is joy. It can be either one, you add them up and it can be the uber category of happiness. “Pleasure is short lived. It lasts an hour, it lasts a minute, it lasts a month. It peaks and then it goes down–it peaks very high, but the next time you want to get that same peak you have to do it twice as much. It’s like drugs, you have to keep doing it because it insulates itself. No matter what it is, whether you’re shopping or you’re engaged in any other kind of pleasure. It all has the same quality about it. “On the other hand is joy and joy is the thing that doesn’t go as high as pleasure, in terms of your emotional reaction. But it stays with you. Joy is something you can recall, pleasure you can’t. So the secret is that, even though it’s not as intense as pleasure, the joy will last you a lot longer. “People who get the pleasure they keep saying, ‘Well, if I can just get richer and get more cars–!’ You’ll never relive the moment you got your first car, that’s it, that’s the highest peak. Yes, you could get three Ferraris and a new gulf stream jet and maybe you’ll get close. But you have to keep going and eventually you’ll run out. You just can’t do it, it doesn’t work. “If you’re trying to sustain that level of peak pleasure, you’re doomed. It’s a very American idea, but it just can’t happen. You just let it go. Peak. Break. Pleasure is fun it’s great, but you can’t keep it going forever. “Just accept the fact that it’s here and it’s gone, and maybe again it’ll come back and you’ll get to do it again. Joy lasts forever. Pleasure is purely self-centered. It’s all about your pleasure, it’s about you. It’s a selfish self-centered emotion, that’s created by self-centered motive of greed. “Joy is compassion, joy is giving yourself to somebody else or something else. And it’s the kind of thing that is in it’s subtlty and lowness more powerful than pleasure. If you get hung up on pleasure you’re doomed. If you pursue joy you will find everlasting happiness.” –George Lucas And how I like to compare that to The Hijacking of the American Mind by Robert Lustig, MD, MSL, which is a book about how corporations have hijacked our pleasure centers to make us focused on reward over pleasure. It talks about the exact same concepts, with only slight word adjustments, but otherwise might as well be verbatim: “At this point it’s essential to define and clarify what I mean by these two words—pleasure and happiness—which can mean different things to different people. “Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary defines “pleasure” as “enjoyment or satisfaction derived from what is to one’s liking”; or “gratification”; or “reward.” While “pleasure” has a multitude of synonyms, it is this phenomenon of reward that we will explore, as scientists have elaborated a specific “reward pathway” in the brain, and we now understand the neuroscience of its regulation. Conversely, “happiness” is defined as “the quality or state of being happy”; or “joy”; or “contentment.” While there are many synonyms for “happiness,” it is the phenomenon that Aristotle originally referred to as eudemonia, or the internal experience of contentment, that we will parse in this book. Contentment is the lowest baseline level of happiness, the state in which it’s not necessary to seek more. In the movie Lovers and Other Strangers (1970), middle-aged married couple Beatrice Arthur and Richard Castellano were asked the question “Are you happy?”—to which they responded, “Happy? Who’s happy? We’re content.” Scientists now understand that there is a specific “contentment pathway” that is completely separate from the pleasure or reward pathway in the brain and under completely different regulation. Pleasure (reward) is the emotional state where your brain says, This feels good—I want more, while happiness (contentment) is the emotional state where your brain says, This feels good—I don’t want or need any more. “Reward and contentment are both positive emotions, highly valued by humans, and both reasons for initiative and personal betterment. It’s hard to be happy if you derive no pleasure for your efforts—but this is exactly what is seen in the various forms of addiction. Conversely, if you are perennially discontent, as is so often seen in patients with clinical depression, you may lose the impetus to better your social position in life, and it’s virtually impossible to derive reward for your efforts. Reward and contentment rely on the presence of the other. Nonetheless, they are decidedly different phenomena. Yet both have been slowly and mysteriously vanishing from our global ethos as the prevalence of addiction and depression continues to climb. “Drumroll … without further ado, behold the seven differences between reward and contentment: Reward is short-lived (about an hour, like a good meal). Get it, experience it, and get over it. Why do you think you can’t remember what you ate for dinner yesterday? Conversely, contentment lasts much longer (weeks to months to years). It’s what happens when you have a working marriage or watch your teenager graduate from high school. And if you experience contentment from a sense of achievement or purpose, the chances are that you will feel it for a long time to come, perhaps even the rest of your life.Reward is visceral in terms of excitement (e.g., a casino, a football game, or a strip club). It activates the body’s fight-or-flight system, which causes blood pressure and heart rate to go up. Conversely, contentment is ethereal and calming (e.g., listening to soothing music or watching the waves of the ocean). It makes your heart rate slow and your blood pressure decline. - “ Reward can be achieved with different substances (e.g., heroin, nicotine, cocaine, caffeine, alcohol, and of course sugar). Each stimulates the reward center of the brain. Some are legal, some are not. Conversely, contentment is not achievable with substance use. Rather, contentment is usually achieved with deeds (like graduating from college or having a child who can navigate his or her own path in life). - “Reward occurs with the process of taking (like from a casino). Gambling is definitely a high: when you win, it is fundamentally rewarding, both viscerally and economically. But go back to the same table the next day. Maybe you’ll feel a jolt of excitement to try again. But there’s no glow, no lasting feeling from the night before. Or go buy a nice dress at Macy’s. Then try it on again a month later. Does it generate the same enthusiasm? Conversely, contentment is often generated through giving (like giving money to a charity, or giving your time to your child, or devoting time and energy to a worthwhile project). - Reward is yours and yours alone. Your sense of reward does not immediately impact anyone else. Conversely, your contentment, or lack of it, often impacts other people directly and can impact society at large. Those who are extremely unhappy (the Columbine shooters) can take their unhappiness out on others. It should be said at this point that pleasure and happiness are by no means mutually exclusive. A dinner at the Bay Area Michelin three-star restaurant the French Laundry can likely generate simultaneous pleasure for you from the stellar food and wine but can also generate contentment from the shared experience with spouse, family, or friends, and then possibly a bit of unhappiness when the bill arrives. - Reward when unchecked can lead us into misery, like addiction. Too much substance use (food, drugs, nicotine, alcohol) or compulsive behaviors (gambling, shopping, surfing the internet, sex) will overload the reward pathway and lead not just to dejection, destitution, and disease but not uncommonly death as well. Conversely, walking in the woods or playing with your grandchildren or pets (as long as you don’t have to clean up after them) could bring contentment and keep you from being miserable in the first place. - Last and most important, reward is driven by dopamine, and contentment by serotonin. Each is a neurotransmitter—a biochemical manufactured in the brain that drives feelings and emotions—but the two couldn’t be more different. Although dopamine and serotonin drive separate brain processes, it is where they overlap and how they influence each other that generates the action in this story. Two separate chemicals, two separate brain pathways, two separate regulatory schemes, and two separate physiological and psychological outcomes. How and where these two chemicals work, and how they work either in concert or in opposition to each other, is the holy grail in the ultimate quest for both pleasure and happiness.” – Robert Lustig, MD, MSL And then lets add in what Dave Filoni has said about the Force and the core themes of Star Wars: "In the end, it’s about fundamentally becoming selfless moreso than selfish. It seems so simple, but it’s so hard to do. And when you’re tempted by the dark side, you don’t overcome it once in life and then you’re good. It’s a constant. And that’s what, really, Star Wars is about and what I think George wanted people to know. That to be a good person and to really feel better about your life and experience life fully you have to let go of everything you fear to lose. Because then you can’t be controlled. “But when you fear, fear is the path to the dark side, it’s also the shadow of greed, because greed makes you covet things, greed makes you surround yourself with all these things that make you feel comfortable in the moment, but they don’t really make you happy. And then, when you’re afraid of something, it makes you angry, when you get angry, you start to hate something, sometimes you don’t even know why. When you hate, do you often know why you hate? No, you direct it at things and then you hate it. And it’s hard because anger can be a strength at times, but you can’t use it in such a selfish way, it can be a destroyer then. “These are the core things of Star Wars.“ –Dave Filoni So, the core things of Star Wars and the Jedi teachings (because Jedi teachings are basically almost word for word how GL described how the Force works) can very much be a reflection of real world teachings and ways to live by, because all of the above are about how GL viewed the world and what he wanted to put into his movies. Further, Jedi teachings are basically just reworded Buddhism + Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. And both of those are very livable by our real world standards, if you so choose. GL was very much about how SW had themes that were meant to be picked up on by the audience and even DF has said this: “ Jedi have the ability to turn the tide, to make a significant moment, to give hope where there’s none. That’s their ultimate role to play, to be this example of selflessness. And that’s what makes them a hero, when no one else can match that heroic thing. And then our job is to emulate that, to use that example, and further our own lives.” --Dave Filoni Ultimately, the Jedi are specifically focused on disciplining themselves (which GL has said is the only way to overcome the dark side, in that TCW writers’ meeting), probably to a degree most of us wouldn’t have the room to devote to, but that doesn’t mean that the broader strokes aren’t meant to be applicable to our lives or don’t echo real world teachings.

#jedi order #meta #long post

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soobadnoonecanstopher · 3 years

Text

Touch it for Real, Part 9

Genre: Humor / Fluff / Angst / (Eventual) Smut 18+

Warnings: OMG they were roommates / slice of life / slow burn / mutual pining / crude humor / cursing / virgin!baek / idiots to lovers / unresolved sexual tension

Characters: Baekhyun X You/Female Reader

Description: You teach Baekhyun how to date. (Basically the Get You Alone M/V)

A/N: DO NOT YELL AT ME! It is going to be okay.

Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3 , Part 4 , Part 5 , Part 6 , Part 7 , Part 8 , Part 9 , Part 10

You had a secret.

For such an abstract and shapeless thing you could sure feel it sitting in there.

It was pulsing.

Your secret felt like a splinter lodged just under a single taste bud that sat in the center of your tongue. You could feel your white blood cells attacking it, trying their best to push it up and push it out, but still it clung tight with its sharp barbs lodged within your cell walls. You brushed your tongue against your teeth.

The secret did not budge.

What you knew about them though, was that secrets did not like to stay hidden forever.

Your fork slipped and clanked noisily against the ceramic plate and the bright orange carrot ball rolled across the smooth white surface nearly sliding over the edge onto the white linen. Whoever decided that your steamed vegetables needed to be shaped into spheres simply for aesthetics should be forced to come out here and explain how you were supposed to spear one of these things while also avoiding the risk of it shooting across the table and hitting your date in the face.

Ben turned out to be very nice. If you were into tall, handsome, clean-looking, and responsible guys who drove their own cars and also had things like health insurance and retirement plans. When you first saw him, you were struck by the firmness you felt when he shook your hand and smiled brightly at you. He had all of his teeth and a head full of hair. He was definitely walking around on his real legs too. He looked like the kind of guy who didn’t let the clean laundry sit in the dryer for longer than a day and changed out his toothbrush every three months. You couldn't see a single fault.

You were trying your best to make a good first impression.

Really, you were.

Well, while also keeping an eye on Baekhyun who sat beside you with his focus down on his plate as he sliced his food into bite sized bits. His control of the fork and knife felt so careful and so exacting, it neared obsession. He had not ordered the steamed vegetables. None of his food rolled.

Across from him, looking just as cute in person as her online dating profile pictures conveyed, was Mia.

Mia was fine.

She was fine.

You didn't want to get into it.

Her clothes were fine. They were exactly the kinds of clothes you had expected she would wear.

Her hair was fine.

She actually had a hairstyle that reminded you of one of the characters in an anime you watched with Baekhyun once and you wondered about the upkeep costs of that particular shade of blue that streaked through her hair. You wondered if she had to switch to blue towels and blue pillow cases or if everything in her house was just stained forever.

Baekhyun’s cheeks blushed when he shook her hand and his smile was bashful, if not a bit tight when she complimented his glasses. Your mind briefly considered the plush, expensive white towels you both owned at home and a flash of horror overcame you for a split second when you imagined those towels streaked with a blue stain from the shower.

He bought those glasses at a store. Anyone can go to the store and buy glasses. Did such a superficial compliment really warrant such a deep shade of pink on his cheeks?

You took a sip of your glass of wine and the sweet, cool liquid had a tart aftertaste that lingered on your taste buds long after you swallowed and you stabbed roughly at the runaway carrot again, impaling it with the prongs of your fork.

Finally.

“I got it,” you said out loud to yourself with a wide smile and you held your prize up in front of your face for a second. Long enough for your eyes to drift across your table to meet Ben’s and you caught the soft amused chuckle that puffed from his nose.

You’d already gotten through the backstory. Starting with the curious question from Mia about how you and Baekhyun got to know each other and you took a quick glance toward Ben as Baekhyun explained that you and he had been roommates for a couple of years. You caught the slight smile on Ben’s lips as he looked down into his water glass and you wondered if he was pleased that he already knew the answer to this question as you had been quick to tell him this important detail about your life as you chatted with him during the last week or so.

Mia on the other hand simply let her eyes drift over from Baekhyun’s face to land on yours for a moment and you offered a disarming smile by way of explanation. Not that either of you had any explaining to do. You could live with whoever you wanted to live with. It took her ten seconds to return your smile, although you didn't quite believe it, or believe that she was done with her curiosities about this topic.

You couldn't really blame her although you’d given her nothing to be suspicious about. Not in the last 20 minutes since you’d all arrived and nibbled on shared appetizers, at least.

Hell, you hadn’t even touched him all day. From before you both arrived at this fancy restaurant and just relinquished your coats to some stranger simply because she held a hand out and sported a severe enough hairdo and manic look in her eyes that was too frightening to question. From the morning when you woke up and wandered into your kitchen to make toast for one and you ignored the sound of his feet shuffling in, half-asleep to grab a yogurt from the fridge. You hadn’t even helped him style his hair; which looked stunning, by the way, with the waves and the faded brown color that absolutely looked like something the perfect boyfriend would let you play with as he laid on your lap. He hadn’t even asked for your help picking out his outfit. He’d simply done it all on his own and waited for you by the front door wearing those jeans and smelling like that familiar scent that he bought for your date with him weeks back.

When had this all become so awkward? You’d never been afraid to touch Baekhyun before but now, well, the touches hadn’t ever concealed quite so much meaning before.

By the time the entrees arrived the conversations had moved on to hobbies and interests.

Ben was a movie buff, and his favorites were mostly mainstream blockbusters of the Marvel Superhero variety. He enjoyed many of the genres of films you’d mostly seen just the previews of. His top ten contained a bit more horror than you were comfortable with. One in particular, a prolific film based on a Steven King novel, had been the kind of psychologically terrifying film that made your chest rattle and you had spent most of the second half of that movie with your face buried in Baekhyun’s arm begging him to just describe to you what was happening and to tell you when the scary parts were over.

When he asked you what your favorite movie was you hesitated for a moment before pulling the movie Forrest Gump out of basically thin air. Yes you had enjoyed the movie. Yes it was something you’d seen more than once and if it was on television right now you would sit down and watch it from start to finish and you would enjoy it. It was a respectable favorite to have. It was the kind of favorite movie you would not be embarrassed to show to your grandmother.

But it wasn’t actually your favorite and you could feel the burden of Baekhyun’s eyes as he turned his head to look at your face when you said it.

Something about naming, out loud with your own lips — the light and fun, mindless guilty pleasure of the film that was actually your favorite movie that you’d watched hundreds of times and returned to watch again and again every time you felt even a little bit upset; something about saying it out loud to this table of people with countless of hours of media consumption under their belts and opinions about things like prolific directors, production companies, hefty CGI budgets, and overused, tired tropes that absolutely should be dropped in 2021, well it just felt too vulnerable for you to say out loud.

You swallowed a sip of your wine and refused to turn your head to look at Baekhyun until you heard the sound of his throat swallowing the ice water he sipped.

When Mia changed the topic to Anime you felt Baekhyun come alive beside you and Ben slinked back in his seat a little as the two of them got to talking about something that was highly anticipated and was slated to be released next year. Rumors about artists and directors with names you could not know flew easily from their lips and Mia mentioned the name of one previous work that you recognized.

In fact you had watched the entire thing last year with Baekhyun and you remembered talking excitedly about it with Mia during one of your early text conversations.

Your face lit up and you happily joined in, excited to finally know what in the world they were talking about when you accidentally let something slip when you reminded her of what she had said about the anime before. Luckily you stopped yourself before you could admit that you had actually been the one she had been chatting with at the time.

Still, she caught it. She was very quick and sharp and you watched her face as she registered that you’d referenced something that only Baekhyun should know about. Had you just fucked up?

“Ahh, we,” you raised your index finger and waved it lightly toward where Baekhyun had stiffened up in his seat beside you, “he told me about what you said.”

There was a moment when her eyes widened and she looked at Baekhyun briefly before returning her focus to you.

“He...told you about me?” She lifted a hand to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, straightened her back and leaned forward with her forearms rested in front of her plate on the table. Her off-the-shoulders number dipped when she leaned in and you caught a bit of black lace and the bunch up of her impressive bosom.

She smiled a coy smile aimed across the table.

You followed the smile and your eyes reached Baekhyun. He’d been hit with the smile and had been too stunned to return it. Instead, he lifted a hand and rubbed it over the back of his neck twice before reaching the same hand forward to grab the ice water he’d been sipping all night as he pulled in a mouthful and puffed his cheeks before covering his lips with his flattened palm and swallowing noisily.

“I also mentioned you to my friend,” Mia said not quietly enough for it to be just for him and you dropped your eyes down to the half finished chicken on your plate.

She was fine. Mia was fine. She’d done absolutely nothing wrong. She was nice and she was probably a good person, but you kind of wanted her to die.

“So,” Ben interjected suddenly and you looked across the table at him as you tried to conceal the surprise on your face to find him sitting there.

You noticed he was done with his food and his plate had already been cleared away by the super attentive waitstaff.

The negligence of your own date weighed heavily on you and you angled your chest forward to face him directly for whatever questions he had for you.

He was pointing toward Baekhyun and Mia with his extended finger and raised eyebrows.

“You two work in computers?” It was a work question. He’d gathered this much from the brief introductions everyone had given and while you had failed to offer any insight as to what you did for a living, Baekhyun and Mia had both mentioned computers.

“He’s a software engineer, and I’m a programmer. Similar but not the same,” Mia explained. You weren't sure of any of the details or of how they were different. You hadn’t really put much thought into it. You knew Baekhyun worked the magic with the keyboard and could fix anything that you happened to break.

“I’m in advertising. Just got scouted by Comma Entertainment and I’ve accepted.” Ben had a hand raised to his chest and his eyebrows were up. This seemed important to him and you let your lips form into an impressed O shape as you raised your eyebrows. His tone and the way he said the name of his new employer seemed to warrant the excited reaction.

You weren't familiar at all with his industry but you knew how to react like you knew what he was talking about. He certainly seemed impressed by himself. Who were you to discourage his enthusiasm.

“You’ve heard of it?” You sold it too well. Baekhyun had leaned close to you and whispered an aside question and you shot him a tense look with your eyes as a warning, but you quickly pushed your smile wide for Ben who was, deservedly, very excited about his new position.

“Of course, who doesn’t know Comma for advertising. That’s a very big deal. Is that why you were so busy last week? We hardly got to talk.”

Your subject change was so slick. If you hadn’t been the one to do it, you’d have been impressed by it. The disappointed pout on your face sold it well.

“Actually I was at the bank a lot last week. It was so weird. I had a few accounts that seemed to be hacked but then it turned out to be nothing. Had to change all my passwords though, so that was annoying.”

“That sucks. They didn't take anything did they?” Mia spoke up from beside Ben; concern written all over her face.

“No. Whoever did it just seemed to access purchase histories mostly. Some loser of a hacker. Didn't even get any money.” Ben’s lips pulled wide and he was laughing with his head thrown back at his perceived victory over the hacker that had been messing around in his bank records.

“You can learn a remarkable amount of information about a person’s bad habits from their bank history, Ben. Sure utilities and rent; that’s boring. You can find out how often someone gets hammered at bars. How many of those bars are also strip clubs. How many maxed out credit cards they make minimum payments on each month just to keep their head above water. Their gambling losses and the motel rooms they book in the bad part of town…”

Baekhyun was speaking up beside you. You turned and you looked at his profile as he spoke so candidly and with what you could only describe as a certain smugness on his voice.

The only reason he’d stopped talking was to catch his breath. It was the most he had spoken all night and you honestly felt taken aback by the suddenness of his words and more, the topic he spoke on. It felt weirdly pointed. It just felt so detailed; almost accusatory.

“What?” You hissed the question; focused it hard and as under your breath as possible to the man seated beside you.

His lips closed up before his eyes turned to look at you and you caught a quick blink of his eyes that preceded a softening of his features that had no business looking that confrontational in the first place.

“I’m not saying any of that stuff applies to Ben.” Baekhyun lifted a slim dismissive hand to wave toward your date. “It’s just an example. For all we know Ben’s only weakness is eating fried chicken every day.”

Ben’s lips were pulled into a thin line on his face and his jaw unclenched when you looked back at him. Then he was smiling at you and it was bright and convincing. You smiled back at him and shook your head at your wacky roommate’s antics.

“Actually it’s pizza. You caught me buddy, I’m a hardcore pizza addict. Every night.”

“Well, not tonight.” Baekhyun shrugged with an odd smile landing on his lips.

Ben’s tight smile flattened and the two men seemed to be staring at each other for longer than you thought was polite for a shared first double-date.

“So what is it that you do?” It was Mia who ultimately broke the tension and you looked across the table into her eyes. She had a pleasant smile on her face and was still chewing on a piece of bread, clearly unbothered by the strange standoff that had just been going on between the two men at this table.

Surely you weren't the only one to notice how odd it had been. Had you just imagined the tightness in Baekhyun’s fist that laid over his thigh and the hard glare in Ben’s eyes?

With Mia’s question though, you felt your own lips pull closed and your eyes danced around the table to the other curious parties who also were now looking at you to answer the question.

You’d prepared well for this date. You’d made sure Baekhyun had the detailed first date topics, questions and answers for perfect small talk, even the section on table etiquette. You’d made sure he knew you’d be here to steer the conversations toward topics he was comfortable discussing and you’d even set up a safety signal he would use if he wanted to bail and just go home.

You’d planned it all out, down to the detailed progression of the evening and how at the end someone might even suggest going together for drinks. And should one of the dates wish to split off, it would be completely okay as long as the corresponding person felt comfortable. You’d even promised that under no circumstances would you abandon Baekhyun to do this on his own if he didn't want to. Not even at the behest of Ben, your date.

They were looking at you and you'd gone quiet. You’d been so busy preparing for this date that it never occurred to you that you were also actively involved and that someone might possibly ask a question about you and your work.

Your work. Well…

“Uhh...I don't really do anything worth mentioning.”

You felt it. It was a warmth that had pooled in the skin around your nose. Your cheeks felt warm and you felt just insignificant enough for it to take your undeserved confidence and throw it out the window.

Ben and Mia were watching you. You pulled your bottom lip in between your teeth and bit down on the dry chapped skin on the surface.

“Nothing?” Ben said and his eyes were wide with a look of confusion on his face.

“Well, not nothing.” You were not completely unemployed. You had been quite impressive before. You’d been working with the best publicists of an entertainment company and had been in charge of crafting and perfecting the asset sheets of many of your company's highest profile artists. You’d been the best at it and at one time had been highly sought out for your expertise. You had a way with it. You could work some real magic. You could make a dud of a raw potato sound like a five star course in a Michelin star restaurant. Losing your position in the spring of 2020 had really been a huge blow to your confidence. You looked back at how far you had fallen. Boring data entry jobs to make ends meet. Taking on weird side gigs so you could afford tiny luxuries like your favorite scented lotion or the name brand tampons instead of the store brand.

“I do have a job.” You added lamely. “It’s just not at all interesting.”

Ben dropped his eyes from yours and Mia shrugged her shoulders and stabbed a carrot ball expertly on the first try.

“Yeah but what is it?” Mia said as she chewed daintily. The heat in your cheeks spread and you let your eyes wander away from hers over the various dinner items that covered this table.

Beside you, Baekhyun’s movement caught your eye and you turned to see him place an elbow on the table in front of him and he leaned forward.

“She’s a dating coach. She’s really good at it, but much too modest when she talks about herself.”

Oh no. He wasn't about to spill the beans was he? This was definitely not something in the approved list of first date dinner topics. Wasn't this topic too incriminating? Wouldn't Mia put two and two together and figure out that you had been coaching Baekhyun all along? Also, wasn't this new profession of yours too brand new to start talking about so freely like this? What the hell was he doing?

“A dating coach? What’s that?”

Strangely, Mia didn't seem to be looking at Baekhyun with wheels turning and sirens blaring. She was looking at you with her mouth empty and hung open with a look of genuine interest in her eyes.

“Do you like, feed them what to say in an earpiece?” Ben was speaking up from the other side of Mia and you laughed at the absurdity of such a silly rom-com movie cliche.

“Well no. I’m not a pickup artist. I am a dating coach. Think about it like a sports coach. I am teaching my clients the skills to play the game. Skills to overcome dating anxiety, or I’m teaching them to identity and move away from self-sabotaging behaviors, limiting beliefs, or preconceptions that are detrimental to a healthy relationship.

I have clients that don't even know where to begin. My goal is to strategize with them and place them effectively within the dating scene so they stand the best chance. It’s incredibly hard to be objective about your own love life, but I provide an outside viewpoint. I step in and intervene when I see something that isn't in line with their relationship goals or the vision they have for dating.

I’m not teaching manipulation or just telling them what to say. There are no love spells to make someone fall in love with you. I’m changing the way they believe in themselves so they can present themselves to someone else in the absolute best way to begin a real relationship with someone.”

You’d been leaning in as you spoke animatedly with your hands. You felt the genuine excitement building with your words. You were surprised at how much of your previous profession’s language applied to this new exciting endeavor you were embarking on, but there really were tons of overlapping similarities between the two fields. The explanations just poured out of you.

You hadn’t said any of this out loud before to anyone but the more you talked about it, the more elated you felt about what you were doing with your life. With how much you had been helping Baekhyun and how much progress you had seen in just one day of helping your clients — Baekhyun’s friends Minseok and Sehun. Sehun had finally, finally sent you his first selfie that wasn’t taken from his lap after you’d sent him many examples of good selfies taken from different angles. Minseok was already halfway through the materials you’d sent him to study and had been working hard on identifying and changing the self-defeating language he’d used in his rough draft dating profile.

“She has an app.” Baekhyun piped up from beside you. He’d leaned back in his chair as you spoke.

Both Ben and Mia’s faces mirrored each other’s. Their eyes were wide and their mouths hung in amazement and you quickly closed up your own mouth and grabbed anxiously at your wine glass, feeling a little bit embarrassed about having talked so much. You couldn't resist the chance to smash their misconceptions about what your goals actually were with helping your clients. None of these people were unlovable. They were all worthy of finding someone and you were going to give it your all to help them see their own value.

“Not at all interesting?” Mia spoke up, “that’s super interesting. That’s really, really cool. Can—Can I have your contact info? I have a friend that would be interested in your services.”

“You have an app too? This is something we could advertise online. It would do extremely well on certain kinds of reddit forums and definitely in most online gaming communities.” Even Ben sounded excited, if not a bit overly judgmental, and you heard a quiet, but hostile scoff next to you.

You ticked your head toward the sound but did not turn to look at him. You knew that scoff well enough to hear the annoyance in his voice at whatever he thought Ben might be insinuating about online gamers and the connection to the incels that haunted the forums of reddit.

“I think it’s a bit premature to think about online advertising. I’m still only one person.”

Ben smiled and shrugged off your quick dismissal of his idea to partner up and advertise your business to the desperately lonely and pathetic gamers of the world. Hell, the more you thought about it, the less inappropriate Baekhyun’s annoyance was. Ben could use some coaching on choosing less insulting words.

Thankfully the dinner was over and the check had been taken care of. You looked away from the palpable awkwardness that slapped you across the face when Baekhyun waved away Ben’s card and paid for the entire bill with his own.

“You can get me next time, buddy.” He definitely said this word sarcastically. It was out of line and you simply could not find the right moment to pinch his leg under the table to get him to behave himself in a discrete enough way that would not get you caught by the other two people at this table.

You let it slide simply because you had no way to stop it. He was ignoring the way you waved your finger frantically at him down by your calf. You knew he could see you in his peripherals.

No, Baekhyun. Stop that. Be nice. Your hand was saying. He wouldn't even look at it.

The dinner was over and the movie was starting soon. You’d picked a restaurant that was close enough to the theatre that you could walk.

You paired off. It was far from natural. You actually caught Baekhyun’s eyes as you stepped quickly and walked ahead of him, falling into step beside Ben and you left behind Baekhyun and Mia to bring up the rear. It took every ounce of self control not to turn around and look behind you to see how closely they walked to each other. To see if Baekhyun kept his hands shoved securely in his pockets or if he swung his arms at his side as he walked, inching a hand closer and closer to Mia’s swinging hand in the hopes of a back of the hand brush of his warm skin against hers.

Your steps must have stalled. You’d reached the theatre and you looked up to locate Ben, only to find him at the box office purchasing four tickets for the movie you’d all agreed to watch days ago. For the life of you, you couldn't remember what you were seeing. You merely followed where you were led and found yourself seated in a center row of a movie house sandwiched between Ben and Baekhyun. You noticed the center armrests had been lifted when you arrived and simply did not bother to lower them since everyone was too full from dinner for any movie snacks or drinks.

The house was mostly empty and then lights dimmed as the movie began. You searched your brain and nearly pulled out your phone to check your chat logs for the name of the film but decided against shining a tiny bright light in a dark room.

The movie began and you were quickly drawn into the narrative. It was a dark film and as the soundtrack began to take on more sinister sounding tones you recognized that your heart was racing and you were feeling the tension all over your body. It was not a gorey horror film, but it was leaning more toward the psychological suspense thriller genre. Not really something you watched much of.

To your left, Ben sat completely still; focused only on the movie screen. He looked so calm and nearly unaffected by the terrifying things happening on the screen. He occasionally shifted in his seat but did not react to the jump scare that flashed before your eyes and made you flinch hard in your seat. You’d reached the point in the film when the main characters were in genuine danger and you began to wonder if anyone would make it out of this movie alive. Was this one of those films where everyone was doomed?

It happened again, another jump, another loud shocking sound and another noise startled you and you dove to your right, hiding your face in the warm shoulder of the man sitting beside you.

The realization was instantaneous. The second you felt the warmth of his arm, and the smell of him hit your nose, you pulled your head up and you straightened out your spine, mumbling a quiet apology to Baekhyun for using his arm to hide behind as you removed any and all contact points you had with his body. You angled your hips and your knees away from him and even went so far as to stick your hands well under your own thighs and keep them there so you didn't grab for him again. You had been doing so well by not touching him at all today. Why did it have to be a scary movie?

Things grew more frantic on the screen. You held your breath and tried your best to keep from reacting as much as you could. How long was this movie? How much longer did you have to endure this? You should have paid more attention to the details of this part of the date. This was your own fault. You were acting like a big baby because you couldn't handle a little frightening scenes in a movie.

It was coming again. You could feel it building. You closed your eyes and terrible sounds were erupting all over. You would just not look. You could make it through if you just didn't look. With your eyes closed the sounds felt louder than ever and when you thought you couldn't take it anymore you considered committing the enormous sin of getting up during the climax of the movie to use the bathroom just so you didn't have to sit through this anymore.

There was a shift beside you then. You felt warm fingers inching down your forearm, traveling the path your hand took that led below your thigh and someone was reaching for your hand and pulling it out from where you’d been sitting on it. Someone to your right was gripping your hand with his own warm hand and you opened your eyes to look down between the hidden space between your hip and Baekhyun’s hip. There, you saw the grip of his hand that wrapped securely around yours.

He squeezed down once and you followed the length of him up to catch a glimpse of the side of his face. He was looking up at the screen. His eyes were open and he did not flinch at all. He was so still aside from the occasional movement of his lips when he moistened them with his tongue.

You could handle this if he lent you a little bit of his strength like this. Your eyes returned to the screen but your mind wandered back down to the secure comfort you felt in his hand.

You felt your own secret throb.

It made you flinch just a little bit and Baekhyun’s hand shifted then. He moved, lifting the tight grip for a moment and you wondered if he was done, would he take his hand back and leave you cold and afraid again? The lift was for the shift of his fingers and you felt the push of each digit between yours. He pushed his fingers between yours; interlocking your hands together with his and his thumb moved lightly over your own thumb, brushing comforting strokes again and again through the loud and scary and shocking scenes that played over that screen.

This time the racing you felt in your chest had nothing to do with the scary movie. He was touching you. He was holding your hand in secret. It felt forbidden with his date sitting right beside him like she was and with your date seated right beside you like he was. All of your attention was down on the slow pressure you felt from his thumb as it traced the shape of your own thumb down from the very bottom up to the tip, around again. The simple up and down had a slow and sensual rhythm to it. When he lifted his hand his thumb moved and you held your breath to feel that same very slow touching trace the outline of the palm of your hand again and again. He drew absentminded shapes into your skin with the pointed tip of his thumb and your eyes drifted closed as the longing grew within you. He followed the paths of the creases in your skin like a palm reader. He did not even need light to see them, he simply felt them and traced along the paths.

You let him.

You felt bewitched.

You loved him.

The credits rolled on the screen and the lights switched on. The change was abrupt. You were taken by surprise and shocked by it like you were from the jump scares in the film.

His warmth left you. His wandering light touch, his deliberate and careful exploration of the lines that made up the palm of your hand vanished.

Everyone was standing and everyone was walking out of the theatre house and your mind felt clouded and dazed but you followed where their steps led and you found yourself standing outside of the exit doors with the three other people who you entered with.

Baekhyun stood beside Mia and Ben occupied the space of the sidewalk square that you also stood inside.

It was the end of a night. You felt an overwhelming urge for this evening to be done so you could go home and shower and maybe eat something sweet and distracting and maybe made out of chocolate.

“Well this was fun,” it was your own voice that ultimately called it.

Mia had been looking at Baekhyun who had been looking down at his own feet as he lightly tapped his foot on the concrete below. Three taps.

Tap, tap, tap.

You felt a jolt of realization. Baekhyun had just tapped his foot thrice on the floor below him well within your sight and you recognized what that meant. He was feeling done. He was done with all of this exhausting socializing and being out in public with so many people around and he wanted to go home now. This was him asking you for help now as he wasn't sure how to end the date but wanted it to be over.

“What about...grabbing some drinks, maybe...” Mia was talking only to Baekhyun as she looked at him, “if you aren't too tired.”

“Hey Baek, isn’t your grandmother coming over early tomorrow? Do you still have to get ready for that?” You interjected suddenly and Baekhyun looked up into your face with his mouth open and you watched his eyes move slowly over your face as he recognized what you were doing. You were giving him an out. Mia had asked him to go for drinks and you were giving him an excuse, should he need it.

You both knew his grandma came every other Sunday. You both vividly remembered the wonderful visit you had at the beginning of the week with her and she wasn’t due to arrive again until next Sunday.

He could simply correct you if he really did want to go with her. He could call you a dummy and tell you that you had the wrong week again and playfully tap you on the head to jog your brain back into functioning the right way as he often did when you got something mixed up.

“Oh, yeah she is,” Baekhyun grabbed your convenient reminder from the air and smiled a rueful smile directed at Mia. His smile widened with the wince on his face, “that’s too bad.” He added and Mia took it well.

She smiled and nodded her head and there were well wishes for a safe trip home all around as you all parted ways.

Ben said he would text you later. Baekhyun told Mia the same and you waited until they both walked away to follow Baekhyun back to his car for the quiet ride home.

The silence was heavy, but it was comfortable.

Baekhyun didn't speak at all and you could tell by the way he carried himself that he was tired. He wasn’t normally an extroverted person and found it very draining to carry on a full conversation with friends he knew well. Strangers like he had been with tonight, well, you could see the fatigue in his movements and you knew he needed something warm to drink and maybe some comfort with a familiar favorite tv show to zone out in front of.

You handled it better. You were used to having to go out of your home occasionally and you even enjoyed socializing with your coworkers on the few days you went in to the office for work. You felt a bit drained but mostly you were preoccupied with watching how he was handling it and you were also burning with curiosity to know how Baekhyun felt about the whole thing.

He’d wandered into the living room and he found the sofa. You followed him close behind and grabbed the remote, flipping to a familiar and funny cartoon that you often saw him playing in the background as he worked on things. He didn't usually watch it that closely but it was comforting enough to stay on and keep his mind occupied for a while.

You didn't speak. Everything you had to ask him could wait. Even the scolding you had for him about how he acted toward Ben could also wait. You’d let the man breathe a little first.

You busied yourself in the kitchen making two cups of hot tea and when you returned you found his head leaning against the back of the couch with his eyes still glued to the screen. He had a passive smile on his face and he reacted positively to the wacky scenarios the characters found themselves in. He would occasionally speak out loud, speaking along with a funny line he knew by heart and you found it impossible to resist saying the follow up joke. You knew this show as well as he did.

He accepted the tea with a smile and had a few sips and you set your mug on the coffee table in favorable of the comfortable side of the sofa, the side with the pillows that allowed you to rest your head comfortably as you watched the big tv.

You were feeling pretty good. Baekhyun had now officially gone on his first date with a real girl who wasn’t you and he’d had a nice time. You could see from where you laid your head down how relaxed his face was as he giggled at the show.

You stretched and you felt his warm thigh with your foot. This sofa was long enough for you to stretch out completely and you only barely reached where he sat at the other side. You wiggled your toes, unable to resist the light messing with him that you often gave in to and his hand reached down to grab ahold of your foot, which he held in place as he paid attention to the tv.

Your phone buzzed in your pocket and you sat up a little bit to pull it out.

You saw a text message from Ben.

From the preview you got the idea of what kind of text message the man would be sending you an hour after your first, and apparently your last date with him.

-Hey you seem like a super cool girl, but...

The preview showed you enough to know that he was dumping you before you’d even gotten anything started with him.

You opened the text. Your curiosity outweighed your sense of self preservation.

-...but whatever’s going on between you and your roommate, well it doesn’t really seem like there’s much room for me. I just don't think I can start something knowing I’ve already lost. Thanks for inviting me tonight. The movie was fun. Good luck with everything. - Ben

You felt the sting.

You couldn't help it. You’d spent all evening watching Baekhyun interact with Mia with every ounce of your self control devoted to not letting your jealousy show at all. At one point you’d been so damn engrossed in them that you forgot Ben was even there. What an unfair and shitty situation to have put him in. You quickly keyed out an apology for your crappy date etiquette and thanked him for going out with you tonight.

You couldn't even blame him for anything. He had been sweet and he had tried his best to be the perfect gentleman. What had you expected?

You sent the last message you would ever send to Ben and tossed your phone roughly toward the coffee table. It bounced but landed in the middle.

The racket called Baekhyun’s attention and he turned to look at you with his eyebrows raised in question.

“Ben just rejected me.”

Somehow saying this out loud to Baekhyun felt better than hiding it from him. It felt less miserable than keeping it inside of yourself and letting yourself suffer the sting of the rejection alone.

Baekhyun’s lips pulled into a small frown and he took out his cell phone from his pocket and tossed it roughly on the coffee table beside yours. It took a similar bounce and your eyes widened in surprise at the sudden gesture.

“No way, not Mia too,” you said in genuine fear and Baekhyun shook his head with his shrug still well in place.

“Nah, I just can't lay down with my phone in my pocket,” he said as he wiggled on the sofa trying to get comfortable, “though in hindsight I can see how you would think that, sorry. Mia hasn’t texted yet.”

He was wiggling, finding no comfort in all the positions he tried and you caught his wandering eyes for a second as you lightly tapped a hand over your belly.

This…

This would be fine. This was something you both did sometimes. Baekhyun said your belly was warm and comfy and made the best noises and he liked to use you as a pillow when he was just too tired to go to his own bed.

He moved right away at your invitation and you let your legs part around his chest as he laid his head down right on top of you. He turned his head to face the tv and didn't even squirm too much before he sighed out loud. His arms laid on either side of your waist and you felt the constriction as he lightly squeezed around you.

You really hadn’t gotten to touch him all day. Your fingers found their way into his hair and you felt a low moan from the back of his throat travel though your body as you raked your nails down the back of his head to his nape.

“Peanut,” you said softly, feeling every little bit of the annoying little tickle of that stupid secret sitting inside of you.

You could feel the heaviness of his body as he gave in and relaxed his muscles on you. You felt every breath he took and they seemed to be changing as you played with his hair and he gave in to the relaxing comfort you offered him.

“Hmm?” He replied after a long while. You angled your face and could see that his eyes were closed.

“How was the date? Was it nice?”

You had so many hopes for him. You were trying your best to ignore the pangs of your own selfish jealousy and get past it all to get to something good for him. Something that would make him understand how incredible he was. How beautiful he was inside and out and how precious of a human being he was.

“Mhmm, I liked it.” He said softly and he shifted and you felt him tighten his hold around your waist briefly before he relaxed again.

“Did you really? Do you think you liked Mia?” You kept your voice strong. You did not allow your fears to overcome your voice. You were okay with this if he was okay.

He did not answer right away. You’d stopped playing with his hair and you kept your hand rested over his head. He was so warm. He was so lovely.

“Do you want me to like Mia?”

No.

Mia would be so good to him.

You did not answer. Your answer would have been no. It would have been selfish. You’d just been dumped by your date, how dare his date have gone so well. You’d both been on the same date. You could still see the way she looked at him. She found him just as lovely as you did.

You felt a thickness at the back of your throat and you swallowed it down.

“I’m trying, Bug. She’s very nice to talk to. Do you think I should like her?”

Was this because of his mistrust of people? Was this his shyness about letting someone he didn't know very well in close?

You couldn't respond. You did not trust yourself to do the right thing.

“You should go rest if you’re sleepy,” you said, you know, like a coward.

It took him a few minutes of laying on top of you before he realized that you were right and he would be much more comfortable in his own bed. He nodded and pushed up with his arms, and his eyes stayed closed and his head stayed hung down as his feet shuffled and he made his way into his bedroom, leaving his door open you merely heard the loud sound of him plopping down on his bed.

You were stuck where he left you.

Stuck in about as crappy a mood as you’d ever found yourself.

You hated everything about this. You hated how much you loved him and you hated how receptive he was to the idea of dating Mia. You hated how she looked at him and giggled at his small jokes and you hated HATED the way his cheeks blushed and the shy smiles he gave her when she talked to him.

You laid there and you stewed in your mood for longer than was good for you and the only thing that made your it up was the simultaneous buzzing that brought both of your cell phones to life on the coffee table.

You reached for yours. It’s as your dating coach app. Baekhyun had received a new message from Mia. The feelings that surged through you were taking over your sense of what was good and what was right and what was proper behavior for someone like you to participate in.

You swiped to read the message.

-Hi Baekhyun. Sorry I couldn't wait until tomorrow to text you. I had an amazing time tonight and I was wondering if you would like to meet up tomorrow after your Grandmother’s visit for coffee? I have something I’d like to ask you.

You felt as if your body was on fire.

You could feel it deep inside your chest, deeper still inside your belly where his head had been resting moments before. You felt it in the palm of your hand where his thumb had traced the patterns of lines there. You felt it in your lips that he had kissed and in your tongue ached inside of your mouth from your stupid secret.

You reached for your phone. You opened the app for the power he’d given only to you and you responded to her message as if you were Baekhyun.

-Hi, Yeah, that sounds fine. I’ll meet you at 1pm.

Your hands moved on their own. You moved to the internal commands of your app and you deleted both of the messages from the chat history. When you picked up his phone you saw the notification for Mia’s message vanish before your eyes and when you unlocked it and accessed his chat log, there was no sign of the unimaginable and unforgivable sin you had just committed against him.

Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3 , Part 4 , Part 5 , Part 6 , Part 7 , Part 8 , Part 9 , Part 10

Tag list: @j-pping @blahblahblah-boo @his-mochi-cheeks @amyeonzing@littleflowercrown13 @baekinmylife @insta1010 @nana-banana @f4ncyvelvet@bbhbeth @totallynerdstuff @byunbabybaek @maijinki @bbyunz@theclawofaraven @kingkushdealer @uhobob @baekswifey @punchmebaekhyun @xlxbaekhyuneex

#baekhyun #baekhyun fanfic #exo #exo fanfic #exo fic #baekhyun fic #baekhyun ff #exo ff #baekhyun scenario #baekhyun chaptered #baekhyun fluff #baekhyun angst #baekhyun smut

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kankuroplease · 3 years

Note

Can you tell us more about Katsura and her relationships with Shino? :)

Well this came out longer than expected BUT it is sectioned (not proof read, so oops). Hope you enjoy 🖤

About Katsura

For starters, she’s very aware that she’ll never be this great kunoichi. She’s not from a major clan that has special techniques, her chakra is barely above average, and her size is a disadvantage.

So to compensate for what she sees as short comings; She trains, studies, and tries to keep up with her teammates/not be a burden.

Will train with her sister even past her team training exercises.

Katsura is very logical about things. There’s always a logical explanation or way of handling things.

Loves writing and will carry a notebook to write in wherever she may go.

She also enjoys dressing up just because on her off days.

Doesn’t want anyone to look at her though. It’s annoying and uncomfortable to her when people she doesn’t know pay her too much attention.

She isn’t proud of it, but she has played dumb and showed some skin to get information on missions. It’s amazing how idiotic some people are over cleavage 💀

Very envious of civilians with soft hands and has definitely invested in creams to try and help with her callouses

She has been helping at her grandparents bakery from time to time for as long as she can remember.

Its one of the reason she bakes so much. She doesn’t want to get rusty~ the other is it seems to make her friends happy.

Never had a crush before Shino and just assumed she wasn’t capable of feeling like that. Genuinely curious how people can just develop crushes on people they don’t really know.

Gets really excited when one of the beetles she raises does well/finds a mate. Like she is so proud of her beetle-companion.

Also gets very upset if it gets flung off a branch by its competitor or mate. She will pout and try to soothe said beetle-companion.

Beyond ticklish. Tries to hide it but even the slightest playful touch of her neck will have her laughing and snorting.

Touch starved, honestly. Will never admit it but she loves hugs. They make her feel warm and fuzzy.

She doesn’t remember her mother at all because she was so young when she passed away, but she still will visit her grave to ask her to watch over her father. He’s getting old and he’s still a recluse.

Absolute morning person and likely to want to crash before 8 pm if she’s not on a mission

Poisonous~ no but fr, she’s crafted her own poison to coat her sword in

Her sword is her baby. Custom made just for her by her father. No one is allowed to handle it for the previous reason.

How It Started

When she met Shino, it was simply by chance. Her dad told she was small but strong like a beetle.

And unfortunately, the beetle he compared her too got away before she could observe it and collect information on it properly.

So she went searching for her escaped beetle and ran into Shino.

Who told her he had no seen that bug but told her where can probably find one.

She was highly insulted but her father raised her not to let her emotions take control of her actions

So she let it go (sort of) and followed his advice. Which did lead her to her first pet beetle

After that, she made a point of saying hi or waving to Shino whenever she’d see him around for helping her out.

And they built a friendship over the years and all was fine with the world. They’d go bug hunting and Shino became someone she really respected and enjoyed talking to.

She could listen to him talk about insects all day because he sort of lights up and his knowledge was pretty impressive

And his voice is nice too~

Also, she really liked his dad too. He was so kind and even accepted cookies she had baked for Shino before realizing he was on a mission.

She totally loves Shinos bugs (before she realized she loved Shino)! even asked their names. Not that she would remember all of them or even recognize one from the other, she was just very curious about these special little guys.

It took the coming of war for her to realize just how much Shino actually meant to her.

And she didn’t expect to survive the war either. So she put all her feelings in an origami beetle that she gave to Shino.

It wasn’t like anyone unfolds them anyways, so it’s safe.

But by some miracle, they both survive.

Now she’s blushing heavily whenever he’s around because ‘oh no’, yes she’s always been aware his conventionally good looking but this feeling keeps growing and now his looks are a burden on her heart and mind

She was honestly pretty embarrassed about that origami beetle he still has sitting a little too close to light for her comfort.

All it would take is for him to look at it in the light to see her confession and she’s not even supposed to be alive to face this possibility.

Tried asking her father what he liked about her mother and none of that matched her (soft figure and extroverted bubbly personality) and Aori gave her ‘the talk’ while completely red faced.

And once she told her teammates, they basically told her to stop being a chicken and just tell him how she feels.

now Katsura does find that just telling him would be the most logical thing to do… but it’s easier said than done.

What if he doesn’t feel the same? Can they still be friends?

Shino pricked up on her not so subtle changes in behavior and wasn’t sure what to make of it.

She’s standing closer, stealing glances when she thinks he’s not looking, jumping a bit when he’d call her name, blushing and losing train of thought whenever their hands accidentally brush, etc.

He’s almost certain he knows what all this means, but maybe it’s just wishful thinking?

Katsura has always smiled easily for him and never seemed to forget him no matter how long it took for them to see each other again.

Maybe it was the way she always was so proud to show him her latest beetle she nurtured from larval or how she seriously always told his beetles to take care of him for her before any missions no matter how small.

Perhaps it was the fact that she always told him she thought he was amazing

Maybe it was the way they both could comfortably enjoy each other’s company without words

Or maybe the way she fussed over the children’s novel she was writing.

The way she always made sure other acknowledged him in group settings by mentioning him or asking him questions.

Her snorting laugh that she’s so embarrassed about had grown on him too. Also made it easy to find her

But at some point he’d developed a crush of his own, so it would be great if she felt the same.

It’s not until Kiba discovers the origami beetle and ask who gave him the love letter

Shino’s like… love letter?

Kiba holding it up to the light so Shino can faintly see the writing in it.

Kiba guesses it’s probably from that mean little thing that always seems to be around Shino these days. In fact, he’s pretty sure it’s her because of the faint scent still on it.

Shino looks calm on the surface but inside, Shino.exe has stopped working. Some quite a few bugs are escaping and kiba is cackling because he f**kin’ KNEW IT!!

Now they’re both acting strangely with each other trying to figure out their timing but what better timing than during one of their forest walks?

Shino waits until they’re absolutely alone (None of his bugs spotted Katsura’s nosy teammates) and Katsura is distracted by if her beetle is ready to find a mate/leave home.

She’s humming to herself that this one doesn’t seem to want to leave when Shino murmurs he can’t blame the little guy. He wouldn’t want to leave her side either.

Queue Katsura turning red and telling him not to joke like that, because she might get the wrong idea.

He tilted his head before asking her why would joke about that? He likes her, and the rest was a blur as her heart was beating too loud to hear everything he said outside of the end of his confession.

Of course she said yes too loudly and then asked him to repeat what he said because she wants to know remember his words forever 🥰

Them as a couple

Once they become official, nothing much changes honestly

They still go on bug hunts and walks in the forest, but will to hold hands while doing these things now.

Shino isn’t into too much PDA of course, but he doesn’t mind her cuddling up to him in private. In fact he welcomes it.

Katsura is the first one to say ‘I love you’ and she’s not shy about saying it.

Will leave him notes to read each day if either one of them has a particularly long mission. (they are numbered and yes she expects him to wait and read them)

He’s also been the subject of several questionable dishes because baking is her thing, not cooking. She is very sorry, Shino.

They both decided she should to stick to cookbooks for awhile after the last random dish

Garden picnics are something they both enjoy whenever their schedules allow and Katsura actually knows how to prepare foods for such an occasion

Shino will have a few more butterflies than normal join them because he knows it will make her smile.

Took them awhile to share a passionate kiss because, they’re both patient types and were waiting on the other to take the lead

But once they did and she heard his beetles buzzing— and he sighed against her lips that was it, she practically jumped on top of him and then apologized profusely later

Shino knows she’s capable, but will still get things down from higher shelves for her.

Katsura loves tracing shapes in Shino’s palms and can/will fall asleep holding his hand. His hands are always so warm and calming to her

She knitted them matching sweaters for winter because she really liked the idea. They didn’t turn out perfect but Shino wore his anyways and made her whole day!

Shino was very supportive of Katsura retiring to take a bigger role at her grandparents bakery and pursue writing. It’s something she always enjoyed and he’s ngl, the thought of them having more time together made him happy.

Katsura was also very supportive of Shino becoming a sensei! What a cute job and she could get intel of what kids may be interested

Both of them would still rather eat at home but will go with their friends. Katsura is more likely to convince Shino it’s good to socialize every once in awhile… although if he wants her to be more selfish with him, she will gladly do so~

Overall just a really sweet couple that’s over the moon about each other 🖤

#oc: katsura #ask #long post under cut

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yukidragon · 3 years

Text

Our Life Snippit - Fish and Flirting

Soooo... who’s ready to read another clip of the first draft for my Our Life: Beginnings & Always fanfic novelization? This time, let’s take a slice of Step 2's moment, Dinner.

I’d like to thank everyone for enjoying my writing. All of your likes, reblogs, and comments are the fuel that drives me to share more of it here. I’m thankful for the feedback my fellow fans of the game and especially its creators @gb-patch! You are all just so sweet. Thank you!

...

The crunch of sand against the mat beneath her sandals was a familiar welcome for Jamie as she entered his bedroom. Cove didn’t care if he brought a little bit of the beach home after every visit there. Cliff never scolded him for it like her moms would if she adopted such a lackadaisical attitude. This left sand to accumulate all over his personal space, but he never minded.

That was just how Cove was - a little bit of a mess.

Cove didn’t waste time getting comfortable, taking a seat on the edge of his extra large bed. “You can sit wherever you want.”

There weren’t actually all that many options. The desk chair was the obvious choice, as it was the only place to sit besides the bed, but Cove rarely used it for that purpose despite claiming her desk chair as his preferred spot whenever they hung out in her room. Jamie knew from experience that his chair was nowhere near as comfortable as hers, and it had a squeak to it that set her teeth on edge. She could deal with a stiff chair, but the noise it made ensured that the first time she sat in it was also the last.

This meant that the only options left were to stand, sit on the sandy floor, or…

Jamie fought to keep the mischief on her mind from showing on her face. Well, Cove did say that she could sit wherever she wanted.

Although Cove had hoped Jamie would take his offer as an invitation to sit on his bed with him, he was shocked that she took a seat right beside him. She was so close he felt her knee briefly brush against his as she made herself comfortable, all the while flashing him a cheerful smile that sent his heart pounding. He had hoped she would sit close to him; he just didn’t expect she would sit this close.

Not that Cove was complaining.

Jamie noticed Cove tense up, his back going stiff as he ducked his head away. It reminded her of how he would react whenever she hugged him, especially when he began to blush and tried to hide the way his lips curled into a trembling smile.

“Oh my God,” Cove whispered under his breath. The words slipped out of him without realizing, spoken so softly that Jamie might not have heard it if she wasn’t sitting right next to him.

The reaction thrilled Jamie, and she couldn’t stop herself from beaming at Cove. He was just too cute!

Cove noticed the shift in Jamie’s expression out of the corner of his eye. With how close they were, it was impossible not to notice each other’s every move. He couldn’t help but raise his eyebrows at her, wondering why she seemed so happy all of a sudden.

Jamie noticed the silent question in his eyes. Before she could seriously consider playing coy, her real feelings came bubbling out. “You’re adorable!”

The compliment, delivered with such enthusiasm, seemed to come right out of nowhere for Cove. He stiffened again, his eyes flying open wide as his mouth hung open in shock. “I… what?”

Jamie watched as the blush deepen on Cove’s face before spreading to the tips of his ears and all the way down his neck. He wasn’t the only one blushing, as her cheeks grew rather hot as well, but since she already said it… “You’re adorable,” she repeated, trying to look and sound much more confident than she felt.

That got Cove’s mouth trembling again. It was a wonder how he could still look Jamie in the eye with how much his insides were fluttering. He gripped the blanket underneath him, feeling like he might just fall off the bed with how weak his knees were at that moment. “I’m not. That’s…”

It was almost too much for Cove to take. How could Jamie say stuff like that to him so easily? It wasn’t fair how easy it was for her to send his heart into overdrive and turn his mind into mush.

Cove shifted nervously in place as he scrambled to get his mind working again. Jamie was flirting with him, right? She had to be. Unless he was mistaken. Then again, this happened often enough that it couldn’t be all his imagination, right? Except this was Jamie - she was nice to everyone. Of course, she was nicest to him, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t reading too much into things.

Should he flirt back? What would he say? What could he say? Should he call her cute? Jamie was definitely cute, and nice, and thoughtful, and fantastic and…

But what if that made things weird? If Jamie was just being nice and not thinking too much about this stuff, Cove might make things awkward. And if things got uncomfortable between them…

It was all too much for Cove. He did the only thing he could do - he fled the subject of romance completely.

“Did you see my fish?” Cove blurted out, latching onto the first non-romance-related topic to pop into his head. “I’ve got some. In a tank. Right there.” He threw both arms out in front of him in an almost desperate gesture to direct Jamie’s attention away from him to something else far safer with less world-shattering ramifications.

As happy as Jamie was to make Cove so flustered, she could see she had overwhelmed him. She wanted to drop hints about how she felt about him, not make him uncomfortable. Despite how poor the change in topic was, she granted him mercy and allowed it.

Cove bit back a sigh of relief when Jamie directed her gaze away from him. He closed his eyes and tried to focus on getting his rapidly beating heart back under control. At the same time, he couldn’t help but feel just a little disappointed with himself.

The fish in the tank were fairly varied, all of them bright and colorful. The way Cove had so dramatically pointed them out, one might think that Jamie had never seen them before. She knew that Cliff had gifted him the tank and pets not long after the father and son first moved to Sunset Bird.

Fondly, Jamie recalled the excitement that always shone in his eyes whenever Cove proudly introduced her to his newest pet. He always made sure she was the first to know, and it always made her feel special.

Jamie was also always the first one Cove went to whenever a fish unfortunately passed on. Those occasions broke her heart to see him so sad, and she did whatever she could to comfort him. Despite the sad memory, a small smile tugged at her lips as she recalled how she had come up with the idea of giving the fish funerals, and she officiated over them as best as her childish self could without having any real experience with funerals prior. As sad as they were, they did help her best friend heal from the loss.

Returning her focus to the tank, Jamie inspected it and its occupants with increasing interest. Although she had no experience having pets of her own, she had learned what it took to take care of fish from listening to Cove talk about his pets. She helped him out wherever she could as well, be it with checking to make sure the tank’s thermometer was accurate by comparing its reading with one her moms owned or looking up information he struggled to find by himself.

Cove was very serious about the care of his pets, and it showed. The fish were healthy and energetic as they swam through the crystal clear water.

The smaller fish zipping about were interesting, but Jamie found her eye drawn to the especially big one because of its dazzling multicolored scales. A thought suddenly occurred to her, and she felt dumb for never asking a very simple question before. “What are their names?”

Although the question was innocent enough, Cove found himself growing a bit bashful. “I don’t name them,” he admitted. “Well, not really.” At seeing Jamie direct a raised eyebrow at him, he gave her a lopsided smile. “I mean… Mostly, I just call them things based on what they look like. ‘Squirt’ for a small one, ‘Tangerine’ for a really orange one. That sort of thing.” He let out an awkward chuckle. “I’ve had a lot of fish, and I’m not that good at coming up with names…”

The answer tickled Jamie. She hadn’t known about that little weakness of his. It was always such a nice surprise whenever she learned about a new side of Cove that she had never noticed before.

“Oh,” Cove said, as a thought occurred to him. “A couple of them have other types of names.” He pointed towards a small orange-red fish. It was off on its own away from its tankmates. “My dad named her Dreamcatcher.” He paused for a moment before pointing at a more yellowish fish that just darted out of the fake log. “And that other one’s Mark. Mom came up with that one.”

Jamie focused on the two particular fish before turning back to Cove. He was still looking at his pets with a more relaxed smile on his face. For a moment she just admired how the glow from the tank reflected in his eyes before snapping her focus back onto the conversation. “You let other people name your fish?”

“Yeah,” Cove said happily. “It’s nice.” He then turned to Jamie as an idea popped into his head. He tilted his head to the side, considering the thought for a moment before deciding to go ahead with it. “Do you wanna name one?”

Jamie’s eyes lit up at the offer. “Yeah I do!”

Cove’s smile grew a little at her enthusiasm. “Cool. There’s a few who don’t have names right now, the newer ones. You can pick which you wanna name.”

Jamie waited until Cove pointed out each of her options. The first fish was the smallest in the tank. It was orange all over and zipped around the tank so fast that it was lapping the others. The second was red and just slightly bigger, with a tail dotted by black spots almost like freckles. The last fish was the largest one in the tank that had caught her eye earlier. Its multicolored scales practically glittered under the bright light of the large tank as it slowly glided through the water.

It was an easy choice for Jamie to make. “The biggest fish.”

Cove nodded, a little amused, as he waited for Jamie to decide on a name. He had a feeling that would be the one she would pick. She did like rainbows after all, and that particular fish was practically a living rainbow.

Jamie squinted at the tank, hamming up an exaggerated show of taking this sacred duty of naming a pet fish seriously as she stroked her chin and let out a low hum. She was rewarded for her theatrics when Cove noticed and let out a chuckle. She barely kept herself from grinning or doing more than glimpsing at him out of the corner of her eye as she tried her best not to break character.

Eventually, Jamie straightened up and turned to Cove, maintaining her solemn expression the entire time. “Gil.”

Cove couldn’t help but laugh unreservedly at not only her choice, but her antics as well.

Finally, Jamie broke character and allowed herself to smile and enjoy how she made Cove laugh. The affectionate sound was music to her ears.

“I could’ve come up with that,” Cove chuckled.

“Well, it was the second name to pop into my head,” Jamie said almost a little too innocently.

Cove caught on that Jamie wasn’t quite done with the bit yet and raised his eyebrow, playing along. “Oh yeah? What was the first one?”

“Cove,” Jamie announced, grinning.

With that, Cove broke into another round of laughter. “What? You thought about naming it after me?”

Jamie shrugged, doing her best to appear casual. “A little bit, but I couldn’t help it; your name is always the first one to come to my mind.”

Heat bloomed in Cove’s cheeks as his laughter turned bashful and trailed off. He was pretty sure Jamie wasn’t flirting with him this time and was merely joking around, but it still felt a little too good to hear her say something like that. “I-is it? Oh, well… uh…”

Jamie gave Cove a moment, feeling satisfied that her attempt at flirting got such a positive reaction. Those tips from Lee were paying off.

When Cove shook off the flustered feelings, he gave Jamie a bent smile. “Alright, it’s Gil.”

#Our Life Beginnings & Always #Our Life #ourlifeba #Cove Holden #Jamie Last #Jamie Leimomi #My Writing

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jypbae7 · 3 years

Note

Me me meeee <3 I'll request a full analysis about NCT's Johnny! 😚😚 Include errrrthing baby hahaha 18+ stuff, him as a romantic partner aka bf <3 whatever you want! I'm so excited to read this akndfkgkfn 😎😎😎❤️❤️

Johnny Suh - Natal chart

Finally finished it!! Johnny was actually the most requested member I received in my inbox! Sorry that it’s nearly the length of a novel lmao but I sectioned it to make it easier to read and navigate 💕

(Not claiming to be an expert this is just for fun please don’t take anything too seriously!) Hope this is helpful and that you enjoy it 🥰❤️

Personality: Aquarius Sun, Gemini Moon, Aqua Mercury, Virgo rising, Leo Mars

While Aqua is a fixed sign it is definitely the most adaptable of the 3 fixed signs due to the Air element of Aquarius plus the ever spontaneous Gemini moon. Most things that make the rest of us feel anxious tend not to seem that scary to fearless Gemini or cool as a cucumber Aquarius.

Natural social butterflies who love their tribe deeply and fiercely once they find them. Busy bodies who are easily bored if left unstimulated too long which will turn into crankiness if not rectified quickly. Thankfully Aqua & Gem have a zest for life that makes them quite easy to please. They are open minded and will gladly stay up till 3am talking about aliens and conspiracy theories, just like they are thrilled to go on last minute random trips just because why not (Gemini impulsivity at it’s finest lmao)

Gemini is a mutable sign unlike fixed Aquarius. This is a pretty big difference and something that goes under the radar with Aquas due to that cool as a cucumber attitude. Because they are adaptable and typically very easy going they don’t often show their stubborn aggressive sides and honestly prefer not to have to unless they are feeling extremely disrespected or pushed beyond their boundary which is a BIG let me say that again, BIG no no with Aquarius (almost as big as it is for for the water signs)

Adding to these deep inner thoughts and vast inner world that Aquarians have, his Virgo rising adds more depth and self awareness. As perfectionists and highly intellectual minds they are a lot more self critical than they let on, just like they are a lot more caring and soft than they let on. They deeply care about others and the world in general seeing the big picture in a very earthy and traditional way - good people should strive to put good out and try their very best at whatever they do. They deeply dislike mean, malicious, manipulative, or spiteful behavior or people and generally keep guarded around people they don’t know well until they feel certain of the person’s true intention. There’s nothing Virgo is more cautious of than to be swindled or hurt by someone they take it reallyy hard and they know it.

Now we alllll know his swag and confidence is legendary and we can all thank the Leo Mars placement for that and the beautiful lush shiny hair and big toothy smile (Looking at Mark, Jaemin and Xiaojun like 👁��👁) But beyond the aesthetics and dripping confidence and charisma, Leo is another creative sign that tends to be a lot more intellectual and intuitive than people give them credit for.

When the other members call Johnny one of the scariest members you can bet it’s his aggressive fiery fixed Leo Mars which is loud and even violent when provoked enough not to mention the fixed Aquarius tornado energy...Oooof that is a lot of Fixed sign rage right there honey so let’s tread lightly with Johnny boy and appeal to his open minded and friendly nature with a gentle tone and non-pointed words during discussions and all shall be good even if there’s some disagreeing!

Honestly if the argument starts getting bad you can always distract the Gemini moon by just bringing up other interesting topics! Geminis minds move FAST and while they can process a lot of information quickly and precisely they tend to get distracted easily (but here’s the good side of that😉)

Aquarius have a deep love of family and the desire to create their own (Geminis often share this trait) they can feel a bit like outsiders or “other” from people and thus crave to build a tribe of their own - this can be friends that are lifelong deep relationship carried on no different than family or starting their own family with a partner and kids

Relationships:

Non-Romantic Relationships & overall communication style: Aquarius Sun, Gemini Moon, Aqua Mercury, Leo Mars, Virgo Rising

Built off laughter, time spent together whether its at home hanging out casually or going out for meals and fun new things to try together

Wants to bounce lots of ideas off of his closest friends and secretly loves doing creative stuff together the most - this is pretty evident if you watch JCC he’s happiest when he’s doing stuff with his bros whether it’s sporty, musical, or crafts

Does not like to be vulnerable even with those he’s close to, tends to stick to neutral and more light hearted topics of interest and conversation because he prefers to spread a good mood instead of a heavy one

If he really trusts you or has worked through it enough already to want to talk about something serious you’d better listen cause the boy drops gems of wisdom and has a really soft mushy heart

Immediately adopts his close friends as family and no matter the time apart or distance will always treat them the same

Likes friends he can learn from and take on new adventures with they satisfy the intellectual Virgo rising and Aqua & leo sign thrill needs - Gemini is all about BOTH of these

Deeply appreciates loyalty, acts of service, and quality time with his friends and family - makes his heart soooo happy BUT

He would rather fucking DIE than let you or anyone see him cry so he cries like 4 times a year at 3am in the bathroom while everyone’s asleep (HIGHKEY feel like Ten & Jaehyun are exactly like this too)

Romantic relationships and preferences: Capricorn Venus, Leo Mars, Capricorn Juno, Capricorn Eros

Mr. Johnny Suh has THREE Capricorn placements tied to love and intimacy so that’s saying something lmao

Going against Aquarius’ open mindedness and anti-traditional persona Capricorn prefers all things traditional and stable.

Very much does acts of service for his partner as a sign of affection also lots of touching and quality time.

A veryyyyyy spontaneous boyfriend/partner thanks to that Gemini moon - he either wants to stay at home in pjs and order food and have movie marathons or whisk you away on zero notice to a trip lol

Earth sign men are drawn to women who embody very flowery feminine energy and aesthetics. They prefer a “natural beauty” who can spice it up sometimes rather than a super flashy 24/7 partner. (He’s said in the past that his ideal type is Yoona which says it all lol)

Will be highly drawn and intrigued by someone with a high work ethic and high intellect. BIG bonus points if you can keep up with his sarcasm and jokes.

Earth signs are pretty physical and handsy so expect to have little personal space around him, make no mistake they enjoy this very much. He will definitely be grabbing you and picking you up often! He’ll be smirking down at you devilishly watching you get flustered backed into a corner trapped by the sheer size of his muscular body. A Capricorn male’s ego really enjoys this dynamic, trust me lol.

Also another quirky male Capricorn trait that actually applies to Aqua & Gem as well… They like to initiate all the touchy feely stuff - What I mean by that is they can get easily spooked by clinginess too early on. These three signs want romance and definitely want to feel that you’re into them but they also are innately independent and enjoy relationships where their partner can also go off into the world and thrive in their own way and meet back together in the middle. So long as you can find a happy balance, when you are together you won’t have to initiate anyways honestly because he’ll be the one pulling you.

Okay let's talk about Juno & Eros - Juno in Capricorn is about serious, loyal, long term commitment though they tend to marry later in life once they’ve already achieved the things they want to for themselves which I can see being the case for Johnny as well especially with his current career.

18+ Preferences:

Eros in Cap where to begin - high libido, stimulated by visuals and touch. Wear interesting colors, patterns, textures to catch his eyes & his hands - lacy lingerie is a plus the texture will really excite him and the feminine look will please his earthy traditional cap side. If you really wanna have him drooling throw in some spicy contrasts like a leather choker with the lace set and you’ll also set off his Aqua, Gem, and Leo placements as well ;)

Tends to bounce back and forth between fucking you like you’re a cheap groupie whore and taking his time staring you in the eyes and kissing you passionately as he’s stomach deep - no inbetween but really who’s complaining??

DOM KINK - NOT UP FOR DEBATE he has THREE Capricorn placements for fucksake meaning 3 cardinal signs which are literally called “the INITIATORS” plus all his other fixed personality placements

More of the classy rich ceo vibes kind of dom (suits, expensive cologne and jewelry, leather, black and red binds) - takes you to bougie hotels when he really wants to ramp it up and not have to care who hears. You can expect not to sleep those nights but he’ll damn sure pamper you afterwards with cuddles, food, and a spa date.

Now...with all his Air sign placements...I have to say it...he’s a kinky ass dude. Few things are off the table, but he’s also super content with “normal” stuff too. It’s more about the person and experience for him than doing the wildest things possible. So if it feels natural and right then he’s down.

Don’t be surprised if he wants to tie you up like a pretzel or role play because he’s definitelyyy going to ask. Well actually he’d probably just buy whatever outfit or binds he wanted to use and casually be like “look what I got for us baby” as if it’s matching charm bracelets or something. The good news is he’ll dress up and get into it with you and he’s super receptive to your boundaries, fantasies and making it enjoyable as possible for you too.

If you flip the script on him and suddenly break the norm either by taking the initiate/lead first or trying something new he will absolutely combust 🤯 and be in the palm of your hand staring in absolute awe and fascination till he can’t take it anymore and reclaims his spot as the one in control

Nudes, videos, and phone sex when apart are a definite and they really keep the passion burning for him which is honestly VERY important and don’t worry he’s NOT shy and you will be grateful for the beautiful collection of photos and videos 🤤

Boredom for Aquas, Gems, and Caps can quickly lead into self-sabotaging behaviors and/or wandering eyes not because they don’t value loyalty but that they really need and benefit from mental stimulation and feeling wanted so when that’s gone they can pull away

Honestly pretty much any type of lingerie or outfit will turn him on because the most arousing part for him is knowing that you spent time doing such a naughty thing for his sake

Breeding kink - 3 earth placements and has said himself in interviews he would’ve started having kids at 25 if he wasn’t an idol soooooo that’s a definite. He imagines you pregnant with his baby and it makes him super soft and warm which quickly turns to super turned on. He loves the primal marking aspect of claiming you in such a way and also watching you unravel to the point of begging him to do it. Even if it’s just “play” he loves it and will probably think about it a lot more than you know. If you ever do it for real he will be utterly and completely obsessed with you forever and be practically more excited about all the stages of your pregnancy than you are

#nct #nct 127 #johnny suh #nct Johnny #nct 127 imagines #nct 127 scenarios #nct astrology #nct 127 fluff #nct 127 smut #Johnny suh fluff #Johnny suh smut

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hypmicdaydreams · 3 years

Note

Hellooo!! Congrats on 100 followers!! Honestly you deserve more. May i please request for jiro and ichiro helping saburo for his first ever date?? If thats ok with you. Hope you have a great day~~!

Sorry I forgot to add, I'm the one with the saburo date.

Headcanon, fluffy and its female. Sorry to leave 2 asks!!

Haha it's totally fine anon! This was an adorable request aww. I can totally see Saburo shyly asking them for advice after he realized that he has no idea what he's doing. Thank you sm for your kind words and request, and I hope you enjoy 💕

𝗦𝗮𝗯𝘂𝗿𝗼 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗳𝗶𝗿𝘀𝘁 𝗱𝗮𝘁𝗲 (𝗳𝘁. 𝗜𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗿𝗼 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗝𝗶𝗿𝗼)

-pairing: saburo yamada x f!reader

-genre: fluff, general

considering that this was his first ever date, saburo was rather nervous, though he wouldn’t let that slip through

he was generally confident about everything he did, but this time, he couldn’t help but have a few doubts

saburo seemed more conscious of every decision he made given that he really did like you, not wanting to lose you already. saburo himself didn’t really interact much with others or even care for it, but he was keen on getting along with you

now that you were his girlfriend, it seemed like that you were the only thing on his mind. saburo may be confident at times, but even he was shocked that he managed to land someone like you

he really did want to do his best to leave a good first impression

so he decided to go to the person he knew would give him the best advice: his older brother ichiro

he didn’t know the first thing about dates or what people even thought was a good one, so saburo decided that ichiro should be able to help given that he was older and therefore wiser

ichiro definitely was excited for saburo’s date, maybe even more than him to an extent. he wanted him to have the most fun imaginable, so ichiro tried his best to give suggestions (he most likely teared up at the thought of them growing up so fast)

ichiro hadn’t been on many dates given how busy he seemed to be as of late, so i can totally see him throw out ideas based on what he’s seen from his anime or light novels

none of them particularly interested saburo, however, since he wasn’t really a romantic, but he still listened rather intently and took mental notes. even if the ideas weren’t appealing to him personally, if that’s what was considered a ‘decent’ date then well...

a nice stroll through the park sounded nice or even a date at the nearest café. honestly, saburo preferred to keep it a bit lowkey, not wanting to be too over the top and startle you

and of course, when jiro saw him talking to ichiro, he just had to join in on the fun, though anything he suggested went in one ear and out the other for saburo

it kinda seemed like jiro and ichiro were at odds as to what saburo should plan for this date (jiro would always backtrack and agree with ichiro in the end however), so preparing with his two older brothers was disastrous to say the least

“you totally got to take her to the latest movie bro, take it from me. when it gets dark, you can hold her hand or even wrap your arm around her shoulder!”

“really? i think saburo should take her to the nearest park. the weather will be nice, and the flowers would be blooming”

“um, yeah, exactly what you said ichiro! the park would be way better than some boring ol’ movie”

at the end, saburo was left feeling more confused than before he had asked. should he take you to the park or a movie? should he dress casually? slight formal wear? should he act like himself? should he even talk about his interests or let you lead the convo? (all things both jiro and ichiro disagreed on)

dating was way too difficult

even if saburo didn’t show it, his brothers (aka ichiro) could sense that he seemed more nervous now than before. it was honestly a bit adorable how saburo really did want to make this date special, not wanting to admit that it’d genuinely upset him if even anything minor went wrong

they’ve never seen saburo so invested in someone, and well, they did want to help him any way they can. he was still their little brother after all

at the end, the two did leave him some words of assurance:

“saburo, just be yourself and everything will come naturally.” ichiro’s hand on his shoulder sure did feel comforting, and his words seemed to have struck a chord within him

“yeah man. even if you are annoying at times, i’m sure you’ll do fine if you just do what you normally do”

wow, even jiro was being nice to him. saburo really must’ve been out of it

their words did mean a lot to him, however, and they definitely did calm him down right before his date. saburo really was thankful to have two older brothers to look towards for advice

(the two certainly did stalk both you and saburo, though saburo pretended not to notice just to satisfy them)

#asks #requests #hypmic #hypnosis mic #saburo yamada #saburo x reader #fluff #general #headcanons #female reader #ichiro yamada #jiro yamada

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salami2 · 3 years

Text

← Chapter 1 →

They Call It Teyvat…

⇥ fem!reader x genshin men ⇤

(n) a homesickness for a home you can’t return to, or that never was.

Synopsis: It felt like a dream when you first arrived to this odd land. No clue on how you got there- let alone leave. Soon enough, you met Paimon and started the journey of finding all the archons of Teyvat. Along the way, you catch the eyes of numerous men… to your demise.

Word Count: 1.6k

Warning(s): Nothing really! Mentions of Venti, Dvalin, dresses, etc.

A/N: ITS FINALLY HERE! I’m sorry, I closed the requests just so I could work on this crap. Anyways this is just pt. 1 to many chapters. Enjoy!! Really though, enjoy!

“Hey… I need you to wake up now. I know it might be hard…”

A thousand voices rang through your mind, getting lost in a sea of voices. The one that called out was different then the rest. Calmer, quieter… more desperate.

“Wake up. Wake up. Wake-“

Your mind jolted awake, sweat growing on your forehead and body. What a horrible feeling of waking up to a nightmare, you thought. The voices were still ringing around your mind.

The feel of spikes underneath your fingertips convinced you that this cushioning was not your bed. You came up from the grassy ground, dirt dug deep into your nails.

“I must’ve thought I was clutching my bed sheets..” You thought while scraping away the grim.

But you were right. This in fact was not your bed- nor your bedroom. No. In fact, this was a grassy area in a not too familiar scenery.

It was lushious. Like a calm summer's day. Dew drops on the bright green grass made it almost sparkle in the daylight. And the smell of rain could be smelled. Fresh in the air.

Oh, this was most definitely not your home…

Goodness what were you doing here? Your mind tried to trail back to what you could remember. And you could only think of bits and pieces.

You remembered pitch black; owls howling in the nearby trees. Remembering that you cried asleep.

“Thinking back isn’t going to help me, wherever the hell I am…”

You thought. Inside, you were panicking. This was not your home. It was strange, nothing looked familiar to you. And yet it felt familiar.

This place, this time. It feels too nostalgic for you to say it’s new. To say it’s unfamiliar.

“Oh, my god it looks like I’m stuck in a.. fantasy novel! This scenery is gorgeous.”

It suddenly occurred that you were on a cliff side. You carefully trudged over to the end of the cliff, looking over to see the view. What you could see amazed you..

There were walls. They stood so tall and grand. Peaking over those walls was something to be expected.

It was a city, from the looks of it. Hiding away behind those walls. With even bigger towers and buildings. With windmills! And massive buildings in the back. Maybe they were the important ones.

Wait, what were you doing just standing here like a fool??

There’s civilization out there! And all you could do was gawk like a fish? You embarrassed yourself. Still- that place looked nothing like you’ve ever seen before.

Your first thought was somewhere in Europe. The scenery seemed that way. And from first glance, Germany? Yes. The structures would explain it all!

“heeeeeyy!”

A faint sound ringed from the distance. Coming from the bottom of the cliff. From what you could make out, it was almost like a child.

Children? No, it can’t be. The voice was quite childish, but it couldn’t be. And where they calling out to you?

Suddenly the voice started to grow; louder and louder. Until you could see the face behind the voice.

Whatever it was was tired, screaming, and flying right into you.

Wait-

You fell back with the force from the flying child. The thing fell into your arms, swirls in its eyes and a red bump on its forehead.

It didn’t take long for the thing to wake up, though. Immediately flying up to your confused expression.

“S/O! There you are! Paimon’s been trying to find you everywhere, and this is where you’ve been hiding!?”

It’s face came inches away from your own, huffing in frustration. So far all you could get was that this thing was named Paimon. And it was angry, for some reason.

“I-I’m sorry, Paimon,” you managed to get out, “I just wanted to see the scenery. Y’know?”

She huffed. “And you better be! Now c’mon, I brought you a simple dress for you to wear. Be grateful Paimon is such an amazing companion.”

The flying girl looked proud of herself. Thinking it was stupid of her to be proud of a pointless feat. But then again, she was quite small and frail. You’ll let this slide.

She was right about one thing: you needed to change.

Peering down to your legs, you noticed the attire you were sporting right now. A… hospital gown, from the looks of it.

The fine dress she had picked out for you was decent. Basic and brown with a leather belt. Perfect for being unnoticed. Along with a satchel with simple embroidery. You felt a little worried as to where Paimon might have gotten this from…

“Thanks, Paimon. Uh- should I change here, or?” You asked. She puffed out her cheeks in frustration.

“NO! Are you a savage or something!? Here, Paimon will take you to somewhere remote and then we can go to that city over there. Uhhh, what was it called? Oh yeah, it’s called-“

“Mondstadt. It’s called Mondstadt…”

Rigid bark against your palm went smoothly along the trunk of the tree.

You and your lovely companion, Paimon, had found a spectacle that was still unfamiliar and new. An old statue resting underneath a grand, oak tree: just sitting there while the world went by.

Standing underneath it alone made you feel intimidated. Wondering how the hell a tree could get so big.

“Wow… damn, I wonder how old this girl is..” you said to yourself. “Hey, Paimon? Can you tell me where we are again?”

“Uhhh, Paimon doesn’t know the name. Oh! But Paimon remembers they call this continent Teyvat! That’s about it, though.”

You hummed to yourself.

“Teyvat… wait, a continent? Then that means there’s countries inside of this place. Or whatever this world follows.”

Before you and Paimon left, you had mentioned Mondstadt before she could. Funny- you had never known of that city before and yet the word seemed to fly out of your mouth.

Paimon floated up near your shoulder, looking panicked and scared.

“S/O! I saw something weird in the sky!” She exclaimed, taking a small hand and pointing up towards the clear, blue sky.

You stepped away from the tree to see what she was rambling about.

It was like an instant did the flying green object go by. Leaving you and your floating companion speechless.

“AHHHH- DID YOU SEE THAT!?” Paimon exclaimed while tugging on your sleeve.

You couldn’t help thinking to yourself. “Huh. You don’t see that everyday-“ still in awe at what just happened. “C’mon Paimon! We have to follow whatever that thing is!”

She gasped dramatically. “Follow!? Did you SEE how scary that thing was??”

You rolled your eyes as you stepped up the pace and started jogging. “Paimon, if it is what I think it is; that thing that was in the sky might just be a dragon!”

“AND HOW DOES THAT MAKE IT ANY BETTER!?”

While she groaned in detestment, Paimon quickly trailed behind you. You- being determined to find that dragon- kept running towards the direction it was going.

It took a while, but you stopped in the middle of a thick forest. Hearing grunts of an animal getting louder and louder as you peaked from a nearby tree.

What you saw shocked you; to say the least.

A boy, arms reaching forward near the snout of the dragon. Smoke coming out of its nostrils.

“… Don’t be afraid.” He said, trying to calm the beast.

“… It’s alright now. I’m back.”

You felt something happening crawling on your skin, arms. It was odd. Looking away and at your arms, you finally saw. Eyes widening.

Turquoise veins appeared- running down your arms. Glowing for what seemed like a split second. Soon it stopped. Your veins, disappearing.

The dragon roared. It echoed across the entire forestry. The young boy's arms went to cover himself as the dragon tried to attack.

“Who’s there!?” He called out. The dragon, now enraged, spread its coloured wings and flew off to who knows where. While the boy vanished with a bright light.

The same bright light that you encountered…

“Oh, my god… what the fuck was that?” You were too staggered to mind tongue. Looking back at your arms.

“A-are you ok? Your arms…” Paimon said under her breath.

Ok? Ok wasn’t the word. You were… lost, scared, thunderstruck, worried, anxious, terrified to your wits ends.

But all you said was-

“I remember.”

“So wait, Paimon is confused-“

The day still burned brightly as you walked down yet another gravel path.

“Confused about what? I remember. I remember being in a… hospital. Yeah- a hospital. Also, there were people surrounding me and I just… passed out.”

Your face while rembersing showed Paimon enough to know what you were gonna do.

“Paimon… I have to get back,” you said, “I- I remember, there’s something I need to do!”

The flying toddler was confused and hazy. Get back? Another world?? She didn’t know how to respond to what you were saying at all.

“Uhh- well, if you need to get back home, Paimon might know a way…”

“Really?? What do you got?” You persisted.

“Well, all over Teyvat they mention these deities called the seven archons…”

“Deities…” you mumbled under your breath, thinking out loud.

“A-and they created all the elements of the visions you see today. So, if anybody can get you home, maybe they can…?”

Suddenly, your hands flew to Paimon’s shoulders. A shining beam plastered across your face. Oh yeah, Paimon was scared.

“I’m in a new world full of magic and mystery, trying to find seven gods that might take me months, years, or even DECADES to find… LET’S DO THIS, PAIMON!”

You scurried away. Seemingly towards the massive towers you could see in the distance. Paimon gasped, catching up to you.

“A-are you crazy!? No way you could ever do that! Paimon could never dream of such a… ridiculous thing!!”

Alas, you could not hear her over the feeling of pure excitement and adventure in your eyes. This is just like in the books! Where there’s magic and powers and hidden romance- everything you loved to read!

“Too late! C’mon, let’s get to Mondstat quickly so we can find the first god!”

You ran off ahead. Leaving an annoyed Paimon to trail after you.

Oh yeah, this was most definitely gonna be a journey to remember…

@salami2

#genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin fanfic #genshin series #hiraeth

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jenosslut · 3 years

Text

sugary euphoria

pairings: mark lee x fem!reader

genre/s: fluff, suggestive, angst, romance

details: strangers to lovers!au, high school!au

warnings: suggestive content, suggestive humor, explict language

word count: 3k

synopsis: where two sunset lovers experience feelings they never knew existed through the journey of adolescence.

a/n: i absolutely hate how this turned out im so sorry. a special thank you to @navyhyuck, @heartyyjeno and @neojaems for beta reading this. an even more special thank you to @hunjins for always believing in me no matter what.

taglist: @hunjins @neovrse @mrkcore @moonbeamsung @jjikyuu @mellowvoidexpertfriend

couldn’t tag: @markslovelymaid

02.09.2016

you got me breathless, got me begging you to drive me insane

The weather stays warm, in hopes of smiling on everyone. The buoyant sun rays travel directly into the brunette’s eyes, though he doesn’t whine in exasperation like many would do as he is surrounded by his most favored people.

Ecstatic is how he feels around people he loves, and Mark absolutely adores his friends. Those six people- whom he labels as ‘idiots’- aid him to hold onto an endless amount of belligerent days, especially at school.

Even though Mark isn’t exactly the best with words and doesn’t prefer to demonstrate verbal affection, the legitimately adorable laugh escaping his lips whenever he’s around them is enough to let everyone acknowledge the amount of adoration he holds for the six boys.

“Are there two butts or one butt?” He hears Donghyuck question, who has an over dramatically serious expression accompanied with lips shaped in a pout pressed on his face.

“One butt Dongfuck, one butt.” Renjun is the one to respond between gritted teeth and heavy breath, thoroughly devastated with the unnecessary discussions Donghyuck never seems to leave alone.

“There’s two! They’re separate!” Chenle exclaims in an avoidably resounding manner, causing a couple heads to involuntarily shoot towards their direction in inquisitiveness; silently judging the group of boys.

“Why are we having this conversation again?” Jeno states, wrapping his arm around Jisung’s shoulder who happens to nod, displaying agreement in the older’s words.

“Ask Dongtruck.” Renjun says, raising his arms upwards in defence.

“Yeah ask Dongtruck- wait what?” Donghyuck continues, then widens his eyes at the realization; turning his head towards Renjun as his jaw commences to part.

“I’m selling a Dingdong for free, contact me for details!” Chenle screechs, throwing his hands towards the air as the boys surrounding his figure stare at him in incredulity. Many people’s attention switch onto the group of boys again, allowing them- except Chenle- to give reactions out of embarrassment.

“When will you learn to like, shut the fuck up?” Renjun silently shouts at Chenle’s face in exasperation, biting his bottom lip as he runs his hand in between his hair.

“We’re supposed to bully Yuckie here, not me! Gosh, what a traitor.” Chenle responds, letting a dramatic sigh escape his lips, poking his tongue inside his cheek.

“If only you used the creativity you use for Hyuck’s nicknames for pragmatic reasons.” Jeno states, shaking his head.

“How do you even know what pragmatic means?” Mark questions- more to himself- in a lower tone, glancing at Jeno.

“I’m not Renjun, Mark.” Jeno replies, patting Mark’s back as Mark nods at his friend’s words.

The moment Mark Lee turns his head towards the side, his eyes witness a smile; looking dazzling as ever. The sight of you standing exquisite, the most guilelessly enticing expression sitting delicately on your features is enough to cast anyone under your spell.

Your friend says something, you laugh again. Your eyes meet as you involuntarily turn your head towards his direction. Mark’s breath gets caught in his throat, thoroughly overwhelmed. You send him a wave, then boom.

Spark.

Mark Lee bewitches under your spell.

13.11.2016

I see rainbows when i think of us

First Date

First dates are cute, adorably delighting. Kind of awkward. But that’s fine, because it’s delirious. Maybe not euphoric, but definitely a form of ecstasy.

A new experience, a new person. Something contrasting, something exciting.

It’s not the transcendence that makes it appealing, because no first date is perfect. It’s the imperfection, the sheepish smiles shared throughout the day, the embarrassing-feeling sentences that appear cuter than embarrassing.

Maybe the occasion is cliché, maybe it’s not worth enough to be included in a million-selling novel. But the experience is worth it. A simple exchange of ice cream flavors, simple exchanges of words as you amble around a keenly alive park. Cliché, but new. Cliché, but delighting.

Things are a bit less expected in Mark’s case.

The arid leaves fall as a gospel choir, harmonized in such a way that celebrates each hue and shows how they complete each other. The fallen leaves create an alluring pathway as you amble exquisite with Mark besides your figure, hand in hand.

“I think i’m seeing rainbows.” You state breathily, head falling on top of Mark’s shoulder; coming in contact with the soft fabric of his maroon jacket.

“Where? It’s dark though, i don’t think that’s possible,” Mark responds, his eyes scanning through the sky involuntarily as he takes your words legitimately.

“It didn’t rain, it’s not sunny either.” He continues on analyzing his surroundings, not exactly sure of what you meant with the words you had previously put together.

“You make me see rainbows.” You smile, astonished at his oblivious nature.

“How do i do that?” He asks, eyes slightly wide as his lips unintentionally form a small pout.

“I was trying to be poetic, Mark. I know it was bad, you could've just gone along with it.” You let out a playful scoff, the small yet absolute smile continuing its appearance on your lips.

“No no it wasn't bad, i just-” He rambles.

“Oh my god, i’m joking. Calm down, i was just trying to say how you made me happy.” You let out a full hearted laugh this time, clearly amused.

“Oh…” Is all that Mark lets out at the realization, head turning towards the side in embarrassment as his heart skips a beat.

Cute, you think to yourself.

And yes, Mark Lee is indeed an adorable boy who enchants you in even more bewitching experiences.

01.02.201

I love the way I light up when you call me

Your feet play with the treacherously empty and dry looking sand while concentrating on the undulating sound of the shallow turquoise ocean. The majestic ocean seems to be wrapped in a darker color, which could easily be blamed on the endless darkness of the sky caused by the time being nearly five in the morning.

Your head lays on Mark’s shoulder while the jacket he had given you minutes prior- insisting that you were shivering- sits on your shoulders. He holds your body close to his own, feeling an- what he labels as- unreasonable urge to protect you from anything that could occur.

You sit there, a serene feeling captivating you as you listen to each other's alleviating breaths and heartbeats. You throw small sets of words here and there to create some type of a conversation, delighting in the consolatory atmosphere.

"Your heart is beating so fast." You softly speak in incredulity, eyes slightly wide at the unanticipated moment.

Mark widens his eyes, a sheepish smile commencing to play on his lips. He starts mumbling and stuttering as he tries to put together meaningful words, though they don’t make any sense to say the least.

“Mine is beating fast too, if that makes you feel better.” You don’t know where the sudden confidence comes from, yet you keep on staring right into his sparkling orbs with your own; the most ravishing smile sitting buoyantly on your lips.

Mark muttres out a few “Oh”s before lazing his visibly tensed body, slowly melting in your arms as you pull his body even closer to your own.

As the sun begins to rise, a song along with a valse melody commences to play out of the speakers Mark had brought. You softly grab the brunette’s hand, taking it into your own; signaling him to dance with a playful smile on your face.

Mark lifts himself upwards as the sheepish smile from earlier commences to display its appearance back on his features. He uses some help from your hand as he lets out a nervous chuckle, youthful hysteria running through his body.

The two of you sway your bodies according to the mellifluous melody rhyming behind. You recline your head on Mark’s chest, getting into a more comfortable position.

"You're beautiful." Mark’s graceful sounding whisper is heard clearly in your right ear after finally gathering up the courage to state a compliment, causing the smile on your lips to grow uncontrollably.

Before leaning in, you go through a whole debate about whether to kiss him or not inside your head. Finally, you lean in; mixing both of your uniquely ambrosial scents as you catch his lips in between your own.

Although the kiss isn’t exactly perfect, the experience is.

“Be my girlfriend?” Mark asks in a whisper as he uses his right hand to keep your chin up, staring right inside your eyes fervently.

“Yeah.” You whisper back with a heavy breath, not able to control the smile growing on your lips.

The newly rising sun accompanies your bodies as you try to move your lips against each other’s in the middle of a beach. Youthful giggles get thrown around as you share your first kiss, a feeling unfamiliarly intriguing enchanting you.

Maybe, maybe you had a future with Mark. Maybe he was someone who would be there for you during your worst nightmares, a shoulder to cry on after calamitous fights, a soul to share your overwhelming ecstasy with.

Though, you don't know that just yet. You never know what the future holds for you. So you completely give your all to him, living through each second of one of the many euphoric moments you share.

Mayhaps this is the beginning of a new journey...

14.03.2017

I lose my mind when you whisper sweet nothings

Gratuitously, Mark guides your body towards his bedroom; hands all over each other’s bodies as giggles out of hysteria escape your lips. You run your hands through his brown locks, plunking them eagerly as your already plumped lips messily move against each other’s.

Mark lets out another breathy giggle as your noses brush, your hands traveling on his body. Your hands find their way towards the hem of his shirt, fingers fiddling with it; contemplating on whether to take it off or not.

Mark gives you a short nod, displaying approval within his actions as he sends you an adorable smile. You glance upwards to steal a glance from his features, only to get lost inside his doe orbs; sparkling in youthful enthusiasm.

He pushes your body onto his bed, trying to be as meticulous as he could. He helps you slide his shirt off as the kiss gets even messier. After unintentionally biting his bottom lip, you mutter out multiple apologies as Mark assures you; running his hands through your hair soothingly.

He pulls your body onto his lap, blushing when he sees your eyes glued onto his upper body. Your eyes meet when you move your head, both shying away at the shared stare. You land him a kiss, on his cheek instead of his lips. Giggles continuously flow through both of your lips as you keep on planting kisses on his cheeks.

Your lips land on his nose on accident when attempting to shower him in sweet cheek kisses, allowing another giggle out of timidity to be shared.

“I love you, like a lot.” Mark whispers admiringly, the adorably sheepish smile never washing away from his lips as the first ever “I love you” effortlessly falls out. You involuntarily smile at the statement, melting into his honeyed words.

“I love you too.” You whisper back, exchanging the specific three words for the first time.

You spend your night blissfully, not precisely knowing what you are doing. Yet you sure are delightful inside Mark’s tight embrace, heart clenching inside your chest at every amiable touch.

23.05.2017

You’re my favorite mistake

“Mark,” You speak out, fidgeting on his bed uncomfortably as your fingers fiddle with the hem of your skirt.

“Yes, baby?” Mark replies; not exactly paying the most attention as his eyes stay still on the laptop seated on his desk, trying to get an essay done.

“Love, are you okay?” He questions when you don’t respond, diverting is doe orbs towards your direction.

“I’m leaving,” You say as your teeth immediately find their way towards your bottom lip, biting and peeling the skin off in apprehension.

“For university, i’m moving.” You continue, explaining yourself when he doesn’t display any type of reaction.

Mark finally lets out a small yet heavy “When” as his lips part, staring at you dispiritedly.

“This sunday.” You reply faintly after a pause.

“And you decide to tell me about it now? Three days before you leave?” Mark’s eyes go wide as his voice raises, visibly accustomed.

“Calm down.” You attempt to calm him down, though it doesn’t exactly work as he shouts even louder each time he parts his lips.

“Do you even care about my feelings?” Mark clamors.

“Mark, what are you saying?” You ask in incredulity, aching to believe you didn’t hear him accurately.

“Look Y/n, I support whatever you do. But not when you tell me right before it happens!” He continues as a scoff out of mockery follows his words.

“I’m sorry i just-” You start rambling, not having an idea on how to ease his emotions.

“A sorry doesn’t fix everything!” He extends, not allowing you to speak.

“I know-”

“Good that you know! I hope you don’t make the same mistake next time with someone else.”

“Someone else? Mark, are you seriously breaking up with me over this?” You ask as a feeling of overwhelming incredulity captures you. His words allow your eyes to widen as your lips part afterwards.

“What’s there to not break up over, Y/n? How do you expect to continue this once you’re away?” He shouts again, making you pause.

“Okay, i wish you the best.” You state with a shaky voice as tears commence to gliss up inside your eyes, causing them to look glossy. You try your best to not blink, holding your tears in.

You can’t cry. No, you can’t cry in front of him.

So you get up and leave.

You are still young.

Not everything lasts, not everything is meant to last.

Each moment is worth living without allowing a knot to form inside your stomach in worry. Experiences have reasons, purposes. So do you, you have a purpose. Cry your heart out after agonizing fights, laugh in delight with all you’ve got; enchanted in an overwhelming euphoria.

You are shaped by awkward encounters, innocently sheepish grins, pernicious altercations, anguished tears. Mistakes you make at eighteen become experiences you thank at thirty.

Sugary moments come to an end, so do the bitter ones. Nothing is permanent, nothing is promised. You can’t live with worry, you can’t live in pain.

Life is short, short enough for you to give each moment a chance. Short enough to feel everything, to live and not just exist.

Somewhere out there, there’s someone for you. Someone willing to cherish all your imperfections, someone willing to shower you in love as immense adoration dances in their sparkling orbs.

Love...love is alluring, fascinating, breathtakingly dazzling. There’s so much to explore within love, so much to explore within a person. New euphoric moments to be shared, new eyes to get lost in, new hearts to beat together.

Love with all you have, give people every ounce of what they deserve without worrying about the ending. Every moment comes to an end. Every kiss has a final share, every breakdown has a final tear.

There is a beginning to each journey, there’s also an ending to those journeys. No time is worth spending cooped up in your room with tears drenching on your features, no time is worth contemplating on whether or not to do something in worry.

Although this is an anguished ending to the previous chapter, it’s a sugary euphoric beginning for another one...

#neowritingsnet #kpopscape #ultkpop #nct-writers #czennet #mark lee scenarios #nct mark lee #mark lee nct #lee mark nct #lee mark scenarios #mark lee fanfic #lee mark fanfic #nct scenarios #nct mark fanfic #nct mark lee fanfic

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