#ive been writing more recently than i have in ages and im also interacting and talking about ocs with a bunch of people i barely know

[tytopls]

.

#goddddd i really did just send a long winded 'are you mad at me?' message fucking kill me #ive been feeling really shitty and anxious lately and i dont wanna keep spiraling thinking people hate me and find me annoying #idk just. this person went from being really talkative and affectionate with me to like. not responding for days on end and i panicked #like realistically theyve just been busy bc of the holiday season starting and irl stuff but #anxious lizard brains got me overthinking everything ive ever said #plus like. ok its an rp group right. and kind of a big one #and i havent done rp with more than one person in YEARS #ive been writing more recently than i have in ages and im also interacting and talking about ocs with a bunch of people i barely know #so like im just. so nervous im being annoying or stupid #social anxiety and self consciousness is ruining me gd LIFE #i just wanna have fun but my brains being mean!!!

[spatio-rift]

Hello! I wanted to ask your favourite ships and the ones that you don't really like and why

Hiiii thank you for asking i love to talk about stuff like that and procrastinating on work. i think in recent years ive been enjoying comedic dynamics the most ^_^ i love to laugh and the best kind of dynamics (romantic or otherwise) to me are ones that are funny first and foremost. and theyre best when theres something compelling about it but still a lot of room to play around.

a funny thing ive noticed also is that for most of the media i really really like i care about a platonic unit including the ship/at least one character more than the ship itself? like strky > imakasa, taka (oto) > suika, $quad > kubometo.... like the shipping is funny but the platonic unit is where i get the warm feelings from.

now to actually answer the question ^_^

my favorite ships are the ones cited above as i said mainly because theyre hilarious to me. but i also like that suika dont necessarily like eachother but grow to care deeply for eachother, and the plausible possibility of a history together in oto as kids from how much they know about each other despite being so hostile in early hebi. what happened there... its funny asf but It Could Be That Deep. and also i like the idea that they still hold a massive grudge against sasuke literally 15 years after he fucked them over even though the man doesnt care and probably doesnt even remember. ive always liked the idea that they could have bonded when they reunited during the war over both being mad at him for treating them like dirt but alas kishimoto decided karin still being into sasuke and beating the shit out of suigetsu was funnier.

kubometo and imakasa have a lot less going on, mostly i just find them absolutely hilarious. imayoshi in knb is mostly presented as weird menacing and creepy from seirins pov so imakasa (and strky) is a fun way to play around with his sillier traits, because in that unit hes not a scary opponent determined to do everything in his power to win, hes not an eccentric senpai that never says what hes thinking to his teammates... around kasamatsu and other dudes his age hes just a gay little freak. its refreshing!

i will not pretend kubometo has anything like this going on. its just really funny to me! so many things in saipsi are, but this one really scratches an itch for me. i would actually say that trying to make it deeper than it is and write about it seriously makes it a lot less interesting for me. well thats just my saipsi philosophy in general ^_^ if you start thinking too hard about it it becomes less funny, which is a capital mistake when enjoying a gag manga.

Erm ! for the ships i do not like.... there are so many but out of respect for some beloved followers i wont mention the ones that i really hate just because im biased as hell and no other reason (lol). lets just talk about a few that i have actual arguments for.

for saipsi i dont mind a lot of things as long as it is made funny by people who like it (otherwise i just do not care) but when it comes to saiko and kusuo im sorry we need to stop what is happening here. Out of every possible pairing in saipsi why these two. asou made saiko because financial power was the only thing he could think of at the time that was left to be a challenge to kusuos powers, and then he never really pitted them against each other because it was (offense number 1) already done (kusuos dynamic with kokomi and her divine beauty esp in earlier saipsi revolves around the exact same thing) and (offense number 2) literally not even funny.

their main reasons for interacting are 1) one sided rivalry because of kokomis crush on kusuo, which was abandoned Very Quickly and thank god for that because it wasnt funny at all and made saiko less likeable with each panel (and it encroached on makotos reason for existing in the work as well) 2) The Purge, except saiko never ever learns who that cyborg ciderman cosplayer that humiliated him was. kusuo barely registers in saikos mind past his introduction like he really doesnt care. the ones that consistently and meaningfully interact with him are always nendou, aren and kaidou, kusuos just always around so we actually witness it. it actually matters a lot to me that saiko is one of the only characters that are in the (extended) friendgroup not because of kusuo but mainly because of first kokomi and then nendou. so why make him and kusuo a thing?? theres nothing there! (heavy breathing) sorry if you like saisai i had to get it off my chest.

i think one other ship that i really do not like now for Actual Reasons is hanaima from knb. i used to be a Huge fan but as with a lot of things in this godforsaken fandom my enjoyment of it was really soured by people who just Did Not Get It. hanaima is the ship for people who want a ~Dark and Edgy~ dynamic in a highschool basketball manga. people who like it generally dont understand hanamiya and imayoshi as characters and the actual dynamic they have, they just want to write about abuse and poor little meow meow hanamiya and yandere sadist imayoshi and stuff like that. One! hanamiya is not scared of imayoshi he just hates him for being annoying and weird and not letting him do whatever he wants which is injure people and ruin their dreams! Two! imayoshi is kind of a freak but he is kind! whatever awful thing you think imayoshi did to hanamiya in middle school that explains why hanamiya doesnt want to do anything with him now is complete bullshit! its not about imayoshi being evil or an abuser or anything like that ITS ABOUT HANAMIYAS EGO! at most imayoshi is just annoying because messing w people hes fond of is his favorite past time!

ah well there are more things that people get wrong about their characters and dynamic but lets not increase my heart rate too much i wouldnt survive it. if i had to sum it up i think ships i do not like are either just offensively unfunny or like, the idea of the ship goes against established character so forcing it to happen makes them awfully ooc to the point of being near unrecognizable. like i know anything can happen in the mind of a fan but i like these characters for a reason, you know?! Erm well i dont know how to end this rant now so ill just say thank you for asking and sorry if its a boring read, just talking about myself and all ...!

#but to be honest even with the ships i do like... i only like the way *i* do it #because nobody really gets it the way i get it <- not to say im above everyone else but just we enjoy VERY different things about it #so i could make a similar rant about all the things i do not like about how people portray suika etc etc #its kind of hard to talk about stuff i dont like! ultimately its more like 'im neutral on this but people do it badly so i dont like it' #i dont want to ruffle feathers if i get really honest about the things i actually straight up do not and never will like

[azumasoroshi]

watched the first two episodes of oshi no ko a while back (REALLY FUCKING GOOD, ive been a manga reader for a while but i stopped reading the recent chapters and basically forgot everything except for the major points and god it’s so satisfying to have the adaptation remind me of what i’ve forgotten in the most beautiful way possible)

but this post isnt about onk, it’s about izaya!! izaya orihara!! lets fucking goooooooooo izaya idol au!!!! i cant get this flea out of my BRAIN

i was about to open a new canvas to draw some more shizaya stuff for my animatic that im never gonna finish and i was like huh. maybe i should draw onk fanart. and then i remembered this art of venti genshin impact with ai’s eyes and i remembered thinking man i hope this becomes an artist trend for people to do with their art blorbos! and then i was like OH. guess i could contribute to the trend by drawing izaya with ai’s eyes

and then i started thinking and i was like huh. Ai’s never experienced love from her parents, doesn’t think she knows how to love or how to express it, doesn’t get attached to others easily, is a perpetual liar, became an idol because she hoped she would learn how to love - oh hey doesnt. that. sound like izaya. just a little bit. not exactly, her character goes into more learning how to love/that she can love while izaya’s character is i can love but only impersonally because i’m afraid of getting hurt and his arc would be learning to let his walls down for his own good

SO for izaya idol au, izaya would become an idol because he wants to experience love, or something along the lines of “there’s no greater demonstration of parasocial love and foolish decision making than in the idol industry! ahaha~” and probably “idols are perfect liars and i need to put myself into their shoes so i can become an even better liar and close myself off to any possibility of falling in love that could ever exist”

there’s a lot of reasons he might want to become an idol, really. there’s so much corruption and behind-the-scenes dealing and lies and facades and shit in the entertainment industry that i think izaya would eat for breakfast. he would LOVE witnessing that shit and making his own shady deals and stuff and occasionally ruining lives and watching people rise and fall down the rankings and tear each other down. plus the people who are in it for passion rather than money are fascinating as well. psychology student’s dream really- i mean what this is definitely about izaya and not me projecting

plus he definitely has the looks for it (narita would hard agree given how many times he’s indirectly called izaya attractive through other characters. we love a canonically hot king)

now i need to make everything shizaya because i’m not okay but i have no idea who shizuo would be lmao

like you could make him some up and coming manager (no age difference stuff here sorry lmao) or a fellow idol (doubtful. shizuo can act cute but i dont think he could dance) or an actor like akane/kana or a streamer??? like memcho (my favorite character)

a mangaka/screenplay writer/writer in general could also work but i feel like you’d have less reason to interact with idols that way

idk how japanese idol groups work for men in particular or if there’s even like a market for that :sob: id have to look into that if i actually started making stuff for this au

alternatively izaya crossdresses as a female idol and somehow no one realizes. except for shizuo. that would be hilarious actually. he refuses to do swimsuit modeling or other provocative stuff and his fans are like “oh?? the brazen kanra-chan is unexpectedly shy?? how cute” and he plays into it but inwardly he’s like. god i know exactly how im gonna go out with a bang when i retire. and shizuo watches him playing at being shy on tv knowing that that motherfucker is planning to strip on his last days as an idol

anyway this is just me spitballing ideas but ill definitely write at least a concept/intro fanfic of this at some point so stay tuned lmAo im just about to run out of writing juices on ABAON so i gotta transfer my energy somewhere else and where better than the idol!izaya au

#shizaya #idolzaya #ill be using that tag for whatever idol au stuff i come up with #i drafted this like. five days after the onk anime came out #this has been drafted for way longer than i wanted it to be #this was also sorta inspired by the idol!kim dokja au fic that’s really popular #i think the male idol industry is way stronger in korea than japan thiugh #that said i dont interact with idols at all personally lmAOO so i have no idea #i will do research later i promise #and read more of more more jump!’s stories for inspiration PFF #i wonder if izaya’s group should be a bunch of drrr girls or like. mostly irrelevant side characters #or if he should just go solo which again. i need to research how hard that would be #i feel like he might want to blend in a bit inside a group #would be fun to observe the jealousy and drama and group dynamics up close too #because if they get jealous of HIM at any point he might just laugh until he dies #i have more ideas but i should save those for the fanfic…. #anyway #izaya orihara #shizuo heiwajima #durarara #im excited for this one bro oshi no ko is one of my favorite series ever #but like. not for the romance just because i really like learning about the entertainment industry LMAOO #i dont ship aqua with anyone tbh #can he just be besties with everyone pls #i loved his and kana’s relationship in the beginning where they’re like two good actors in a room full of mids #that was a fun dynamic but it just went downhill for me personally #oh well i can talk about this in my author’s notes pff

[pennydontwannabeahero]

Just a Hero, 4 years of work and an teaser of its opening

Pre ramble, I've been working on a world to set my stories in for about 4 years now, in that time ive done alot of details that im slowly noting down, ive made literal hundreds of characters many of them background with to much detail, and during it all ive also been planning a bunch of diffrent stories, and recently ive even started writing the first of them, im about 10 pages of a likely 50+ down, but due to a lacking social media presence ive not been able to get others thoughts on the story, so having recently made tumbler i figured i should try sharing it on here and seeing if i can acctual build a following for it, thank you to anyone who interacts with this cause its a big ass project and i want to go beyond just something ive written, even if its just a couple people. Ramble over and quick warning the story is written with a target age of 16 to 18+, its got swearing, light nudity, sex reference, substance abuse, violence, mild gore, and honestly alot of other stuff im probobly forgetting, theres little to none of these in the following excerpt just its worth giving for future warning beyond this is the opening to Just A Hero, thanks again to anyone that reads and im sorry for any formatting or spelling issues its copy pasted off the google doc i write it in

The world of Astera has many stories. Some about monsters, Some about gods, Some about kings, Some about villains and some about heroes and this one is about a hero, Technically.

The great steam city of Hektalia floating above the Eidelon plains was often noted for its mighty   steam and clockwork machines, It was also known for legendary adventurers dressed in fine clothes and augmented with polished brass prosthetics and intricate transforming weapons. However there was something far more infamous from Hektalia. Its thieves and on this night through clear skies one runs down a street chased by a middle aged gentleman. Darting between the crowds of reveling drunkards a small girl no older than 6, She has short messy black hair with red highlights and atop her head a pair of fox ears as opposed to normal human ones, She wears a tattered black dress with some red adornments and from her lower hip comes four black fox tails, Her left forearm is in a badly made cast and sling, Her boots are light, Dirty and damp from where she ran through puddles, Across her shoulder a worn strap that leads to a satchel that klinks slightly from the objects inside it. From behind her shouts a commanding voice.

“STOP THIEF, PICKPOCKET.” The drunks don’t do much despite the shouts though a few accidentally get in the way of the gentleman bumping into him and breaking his line of sight of the girl. As it was with Hektalia if something was stolen no one much cared who owned it, Just who was more skilled in keeping it and to drunkards in this part of town a rich man didn’t need to keep it, After all he could always buy more.

Despite that the chase continued into back alleys away from the lights of the street, Small vents of steam make the ground damp and humid and tricky to see. The girl slips around corners doing her best to lose her pursuer. She ducks around one last corner into a dead end but with no sign of the man behind her she takes a breath and leans against the wall opening her stachel to examine what she stole. A wallet containing a few hundred shards, An ID card that she tossed away, A worn photo of what seemed to be the owner's family that she tossed onto the floor and ground into the dirt with her heel while scowling and a VIP card for the Hektalian servants market this too she tossed away. On top of the shards the wallet made of fine Astilian leather would sell for a couple hundred more enough to buy one of the nice burgers from the Byzantium style diner in the entertainment district. She put the wallet back in her satchel and pulled out the rest of her loot, A ring made of silver with a flawless ruby encrusted into it. This she slipped onto her finger despite its value. She liked red things and preferred to keep them. Lastly was the watch a golden and brass master work, The skeletal design showed the beauty of the clockwork that ticked and tocked in an almost relaxing way tracking the seconds that were passing in an ever moving world. Such things sold for a good number of shards, This one though seemed special the girl observed that it only tracked seconds not minutes or hours nor days or months just seconds ever passing. Her head tilted to stare deep into the clockwork distracted by the beautiful metal that reflected her red and light blue heterochromic eyes .

“Ah found you, You little thief.” The voice of the man she had stolen from who was now standing in the entrance to the alley. The girl almost jumped while tightening her grip on the watch before thrusting it back into her satchel and backing off deeper into the dead end.

“There’s no running any more you little brat, Give me back my things and I won’t call the police.” He held his hand out while looking down at her. In a gut reaction she tightened her grip on her satchel. She had defended her prize before but only against other children, Never an adult.

The man’s eyes locked with her own and he offered a soft false smile.

“You can keep the cheap jewelry and money, Just give me back my watch and I’ll let you go.” His voice was far softer now and the girl recognised the trick. Other adults had tried it to sound soft to make her feel safer than she was. She glanced around and saw an external staircase on the side of one of the buildings. Far too high up to reach for most people but she had a plan.

“Fine.” She looked down at the floor as she walked forwards slowly. Reaching into her satchel she pulled the watch out holding it tight in her fist.

“Stupid kid.” The man lunged for her and she swung her arm partly opening her hand to toss the dirt she had taken from her satchel into his eyes while dodging to the side. In the same motion as he fell to the floor she jumped up onto his back and from there with a deep breath she leaped up to the staircase jumping much higher than a normal person. She had always had an easy time jumping and leaping, Even falling as she didn’t feel the impact, Always landing softly no matter what, Though she never knew why it was a very useful ability.

“Damn it where did you go you little shit?” The man rubbed the dirt out of his eyes and looked around, Unable to spot her.

“I’m up here dummy!” The girl waved down as she danced around on the steps giggling at him.

“When I catch you I’m going to wring your dirty little neck, You filthy little piece of vermin waste.” He growled at her and began to run around to the entrance of the building.

“Good luck with that, Run run run as fast as you can old man, I may not be made of gingerbread but you’ll never catch me.” She called out as she leapt from rooftop to rooftop running along the rooves before jumping back down into the street and climbing through a window into the orphanage she called home.

“Been sneaking out again have you? You know if you keep doing silly things your arm is never going to heal.” The voice of a young woman was a comforting thing for her. The assistant matron, A nice lady who did her best to look after all the children there.

#writers #women writers #female writers #writers on tumblr #creative writing #origonal work #original character #fmlispent4yearsdesigningaworldandcharacters #amature writer

[opalesense]

hello i just read your rules and iii am a minor so it does apply to me. i don’t understand what mental consequences would happen in the future though. i mean this genuinely, im not trying to be snarky or anything but ive seen a few blogs saying the same thing but i cant think of what may emerge in the future due to being exposed to nsfw things? also i wont look at your blog again (after today bc i wanna see if you reply) since you say it makes you uncomfy,,, sorry for writing so much!!(⊃ °Д°)⊃≡ﾟ ﾟ

i’m so sorry this is a late response!! i was on hiatus for a while and only saw this just now (;__; )

there’s no cookie cutter answer to this so i just wanted to first say that my answer to this is based off of personal experience so i might be oversharing a bit, but i feel like this is the only way to get my point across without sounding too blunt ^^”

i was exposed to porn at around 8 years old because i had free, unrestricted access to the internet and i saw a lot of things that i really should not have at that age. a lot of it was fanfiction. if 8 year old me saw what i was writing now, they would eat that shit up.

it might be obvious to most people my age that kids that young shouldn’t interact with nsfw things but at 8 years old, it was not obvious at all. at 8 i was very unaware of how any nsfw would impact me as an adult. i just didn’t know any better and no one taught me that it was “wrong” (at the time, nsfw and sexual jokes were way more normalized and unrestricted on the internet than it is nowadays) so i naturally assumed it was normal growing up

fast forward to now, i recently turned 20. a few problems i noticed in myself that i can probably correlate to being exposed to nsfw as a minor include being extremely hypersexual as a kid to the point where some really bad things happened to me and i passed it off as “kinks,” making friends uncomfortable with how hypersexual i was being, and not being able to enjoy my childhood at all because i matured way too early in general. i should’ve been hanging out with my friends or focusing on healthier hobbies, not staying cooped up in my room reading x reader smut at the age of 15

there is plenty of time ahead of you if you’re a minor to engage with nsfw things, i promise! i know it feels weird to hold back especially if you are like me where my hormones are SUPER out of control, but it’s better to set a standard for yourself and enjoy your childhood for as long as you can. i think it’s kind of?? okay to indulge once in a while, but make sure you set limits for yourself. porn/nsfw addiction is a major problem among minors and it’s all due to unrestricted internet access, and it breaks my heart that so many kids don’t understand how it’s a problem until it’s too late </3

tl;dr - being exposed to nsfw as a minor while your brain is still developing can be traumatic without you even knowing it. i don’t want kids to go through the same experience i did so i urge any minors to see the bigger picture and look out for yourself by setting these boundaries first. your older self will thank you :)

also, i appreciate you asking this in the first place! this is a topic i love to talk about because it’s a very serious and real issue that doesn’t have an easy solution. all i can say now is that even if you don’t want to stop interacting (because i can’t force you to) i’m still glad you’re willing to listen to what i have to say in the first place ^__^

#inbox

[dracosathenaeum]

ofc!!! And I just wanted to add that manacled doesn't romanticize the things per say it's mostly the fans. Like apparently there was this one girl that shifted to manacled like she was Hermione and then complained when Draco treated her like a piece of shit instead of being romantic and sweet like??? Also it's totally true that people like that are in every fandom but there seems to be a lot in dramione because it's very hated because it's forbbiden love or whtv, also no offence to you if you take it and even though I am techinally not a minor either I just feel it's very very weird that Dramione fans mostly consists of adults- Like they age up the characters just to put them through something or sexualize them.. Oh and one more thing I think Golden Boy got taken down because it's on Wattpad and it was around the time when Wattpad was bought and they were 'clensing the app' or smth, and well you can report a story on AO3 almost 99% of the time no matter if it has incest or even worst it doesn't get removed. Also also it's not just manacled. People/The author of 'The Auction' were gonna turn it into a fan film?? The story itself is pretty fucked up, and seeing people making a toxic and digusting relationship normal is to say the least very distrubing. Especially that fic were she is being literally SOLD. Anyhow I think I talked too much woops! I just never ever meet nice Dramione fans willing to talk about it.

i- what even was that first part 💀 is that person okay lmao

no worries about all about the offending part. i write for draco and recently a lot of people have been aging draco up for step!dad etc fics so i kinda get where you're coming from, it happens everywhere. with this like this, just because it makes you or i uncomfortable, it doesnt mean its necessarily disgusting or gross. if they were aging up a minor, then absolutely it's just wrong, but as Draco was 18+ by the end of the books and middle aged by the end, i don't think i could agree with you whole heartedly there.

also i have a feeling you'll never read dramione so speaking as someone who has read hundreds of dramione fics and am an avid reader (ie, i read roughly 50+ a year), having older people in the community makes the writing so damn good. some of these most well known fics were written better than half the ya books ive read. and that's something i probably can't say for many other fandoms (we are not counting After the harry styles fic remotely in the same category)

omg it was Golden Boy yes, jesus what a shit show that was.

as for your last point, there are hundreds upon thousands of books, films, tv series revolving around the topics of sl*very, m*rder, r*pe etc. you could say that Voldemort trying to murder a BABY was equally disturbing. so another work of fiction in this format doesn't change much in my opinion. fanfiction is a work of fiction ie made up. I've read The Auction and i can happily say it's one of the best works ive read and does not portray in the way you think at all. i understand that if you have just read the synopsis and have heard others talk about the premise, you could see it as such but that's simply not true when you read it.

no worries about the rant, i do it a lot ie here. if you actually read all of this than thank you! I'm sorry that you havent had many nice interactions with people who like dramione and i hope that this discussion has been useful in anyway! i know it sounds like im just disagreeing with everything you've said and partly it is but as i can see where your opinion comes from, i hope you see mine

#anon <3 #dramione.chats #zo answers <3 #tw rape mention #tw murder mention #tw slavery mention #dramione

[cracknoir]

not really headcanons more just pretentious shit i wanted to type out - sometimes it’s good to listen to yourself talk ok 

i quite like writing with npc’s because it gives me a chance to like show what jimmy’s like to people he perceives as below him. i always feel like people i interact with get a sort of skewed view of the sort of guy jimmy actually is cos he has time for them, but i also never write with npcs because if i do i end up writing absolute fucking essays 

i used to rp deadpool and i think that’s why i just say all the crack stuff i write is canon 

this might sound like a dumb thing to say but i have to do things to write. i need to be out exploring and talking to people and it usually inspires me a lot without me noticing. like im not saying i NEED to go on a walk in the woods to start writing but i always find once i’ve done that kind of stuff when i get back i usually have Ideas™. the rule goes that you only ever want to write when you can’t write, for me at least. most of this shit is just daydreams i have at work. that said time’s also the enemy. last night i went out for a walk and by the time i was home i was just too fucked

music plays a big part in what i write but sometimes this fucks me up, sometimes i spend ages looking for the “right song” to write something when really i write just as well when i have like, lofi beats to study to on 

ive been thinking about writing more short stories, or vibes as i’ve been calling them. love writing those sort of out of context drabbles that i’ve been doing lately, maybe i could do them about more than just these characters  🤔 🤔 🤔 maybe i’ll write something about my cowboy mans  🤔 🤔 🤔

if i do some short vibes about my cowboy oc with no icons would people like be down for that 

scratch that i’m gonna do it and you can’t stop me 

i did it and it’s in the queue oops 

also this has been in my drafts so long that i’ve just started doing the vibes thing. i hope nobody’s taking it personally but work’s really kicked into gear the past couple days 

actual headcanons tho

i recently found out that the mercenary business in america has a large overlap with nazis however i always thought that alex specifically worked with nazis, this said i’d probably never write anything related to that on this blog. i do have a sidestory in my head where jimmy goes down to florida and ends up killing a bunch of nazis but not like, bc of the morals or anything 

also this doesn’t bug me at all and i’d never correct anyone bc lbr assassin is a cooler word but assassin relates to political killings usually, if your character kills for money they’re a mercenary BUT ALSO i think mercenary usually has connotations of like military training??? i should reiterate this isn’t an actual gripe i have, but none of my characters are assassins

jimmy won’t go outside to smoke. dont even bother asking him to unless you want trouble. 

jimmy’s faked his death ONCE canonically but also maybe as a shitposty joke ye he’s done it like five times. i mean, the best way to celebrate someones birthday is to gaslight them into thinking ur dead 

been thinkin bout growin a mullet but same with growing a Big Beard there’s this gross inbetween bit that i’m like nah 

jimmy and jack and brad and rasputin are all wildlife mans. the rest are city slickers that wouldn’t last two rotations of the sun without at least 4 bars of signal on their Damn Fone 

jack steals lighters and the worst part is you barely even notice him doing it. if he’s been on a night out he’ll wake up with like, 18 different lighters 

it’s unclear whether the ufos frankie sees are real, just plains, or if he’s just an attention seeking prick. i don’t think he sees actual aliens but he has a log of ufo encounters he’s had 

on the same note, molly loved urban exploring 

death loves ice cream, especially bubblegum flavor 

yes. satan did lose that fiddling contest. everyone should stop talking about it. 

Claude’s killed roughly about 60 people 

Molly, Jack, little jake and jimmy will drive around for no reason just doing numerous drugs. sometimes it’s coke but they mostly just smoke weed and once they drove around sniffing mdma 

jimmy hates speed but still does it. jack hates ketamine but still does it if offered. 

u can tell what jack’s up to by what he offers u when u first walk into his house. if he offers you a coffee, you’ll probably be offered a smoke next, if he offers u a drink, you’ll probably be offered a line next. 

also jack bought a fancy coffee maker and makes like caramel coffees nd shit 

i really need to cut this shit off this post’s getting too long 

consider this shit cut off 

shit 

cut

off

GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY 

#do i have a headcanon tag yet??

[0chexmix0]

Hello!! Bout time I make a semi intro lol, so here is a small get to know me!!

I'm Chex, but y'all can also call me Jester! I am 17 years old, but will be 18 in a couple of months!

I consider myself an artist, though I have not actually drawn somethin in a while lmao. I also like the play video games and write occasionally! I also cosplay but I don't think I'll be showing off any of my personal stuff on here anytime soon due to being underage and also just self conscious lol

I am a lesbian (atleast I'm p sure!!) and speculating being on the ace spectrum (kinda ironic considering I have kinks, but this is where it starts getting uncomfortable to talk about openly especially considering I'm a minor so I don't really wish to disclose WHY I think I am)

Since this acc is for kink and NSFW shit (and one of my kinks is snez), I'll mention that I usually prefer women sneezing wavs n stuff, though occasionally male sneezes are alright? Idk lol I think it's just the comphet subconsciously trying to attach any sneeze it here's to "this characters sneeze would sound like this!!!" Lmao idk

I like Ho/mes/tuc/k, Dan/ganr/on/pa, SG/T Fr/og, and a few other things (I promise I'm not a problematic tiktok child pls I've been stalkin SFF and Snzblr for a few years now and try to do actual analysis n research of and on characters n plot stories n all that--)

Im not the most active on this acc cause I have a job n have actually finally started hanging out with friends more, but I do try my best!!! I prob won't post much but I'll try to interact a bit!

Uhhh I like making friends? Don't be shy to message me or somethin!! Im a bit new to actually interacting community n all so I'm not sure how to like comfortably hold a conversation (that part isn't exactly new tbh lmao) so if I seem a bit rigid in conversation or iffy pls know I'm trying!!! I'm not used to just talkin bout this stuff lmao.

If anyone wants to roleplay I may be down. Ive been having a huge writers block recently n have some other non-kink rps to respond too but I really wanna get back into it and keep practicing in character writing and not just ocs!! (I do semi-lit to novella if anyone wishes to know lol)

My discord is 🕸️ChexMix💮#0871

I'm always open to talk, though I'm usually more comfy talkin to people around my own age ya know? It gets a bit awkward if you get really into talking about this stuff with someone older than ya lol

I'm one of those people who likes hearing people sneeze n stuff but I'm uncomfy sneezing myself n all. Idk if it's weird or hypocritical but that's my personal preference buuut if anyone wants to talk on discord or Tumblr bout sneezing and maybe do a call I may draw ya somethin if I have the time and motivation in return instead of sneezing 030 (I need to redownload KIK I don't have it anymore since it's got such bad shit round it lmao)

IIIIII think this is all for now I think??? Idk buuut I guess here is the end of my intro!! I hope to be able to finally make friends round my age who I can actually talk to and all that stuff!! Have a great day / night everyone!!!! :DD

#snez kink #snzblr #sneeze kink #whump #sneezing kink #uhhh yeah idl what else to put

[hyunjinssmile]

Title : ‘pathetic’

Genre: horror, witch!jisung

Member: Han Jisung

Warnings: death, sacrifice, unholy(?)

Note: this is part of a Halloween series called Tales of the Dead, collaboration with @blankpaigefics ! Half will be posted here and half is already on her page (that I will link here also).

Also; im sorry. This is very rushed. With recent events im not sure how much longer I can write well for. Im going to try for the sake of this collab but im so sorry everyone.

The twigs snapped beneath your feet as you approached the hut on the hill, vines and ivy intruding onto the bricklain building.

“I just need the medicine and then Ill be going.. its fine- its totally fine-“ you hyped yourself up as you found yourself before the old shack, the rickety wood of the walls looked to be decades old, spiderwebs and weather damage evident almost everywhere.

About three metres from the door, thats where you stood, as it swung open, revealing a young-looking man, hair slightly disheveled as his black clothing hung from his frame.

“Oh-! Hello there!” He was bright and bubbly, the complete opposite of his outfit choice; but you didnt mind, it made you feel more at ease, even after his sudden arrival.

“I- Im here to get the medicine? For my cat..” you looked down at your shoes nervously before you heard a chuckle from the man, his eyes smiling as he sized you up.

“Now, if I remember correctly, it was a man who inquired; is that your boyfriend?” He pondered aloud, making your eyes widen.

“No-nono, just my neighbour. I live alone actually.” You dont know why you mentioned that; but somehow, you did.

Great, this interaction is already longer than it should be, and now you’re embarrassing yourself.

When you looked up at him, again you saw a fond smile, before he nodded in the direction of his house, causing you to follow him inside.

“Its almost finished; the medicine, that is. Just needs to brew. Would you like a cup of tea?”

————

After continuing with small talk, you finally reached the topic of jobs, and while you knew he was a chemist of sorts, what you didnt expect was for him to almost outwardly admit to being a witch; something you giggled off in a friendly manner.

“No seriously!” He pouted, grabbing your hand as he walked with you to a small wooden door, concealed in the wall.

“I am a witch- havent you heard all the townspeople talk about me?” He huffed, walking down the stairs.

You waited before following him;

Yes, you had heard the towns talk- yet you went to him anyway. Your cat was sick, and you needed his help.

Whilst you thougt of this, the only thing on Jisungs mind was how perfect you were as his next sacrifice.

Jisung,

That was his name; his name so sweet sounding like the boy infront of you, yet when you reached the bottom of the stairs, he looked nothing like before.

The eery red light from the many candles in place had a shiver running up your spine, sand and crystals everywhere, as well as different pots and pans, jars of insects and various coloured substances littering his shelves.

“Y’know, I know I dont look much like a witch; you can partially blame that on that damn medusa. My damn pentogram necklace is somewhere in that oversized bloody house-“

He cleared his throat.

“Anyways..” he moved his hand and the door from upstairs slammed shut, a small squeak leaving your lips as you found yourself walking toward him, not caring about the floors burnt pentogram beneath your feet as you kept your eyes on the man.

“The medicine.. i-“

“Oh, “ he broke off in laughter,

“You really still thought you were getting medicine?” He almost doubled over.

“What a pretty, yet dumb little thing you are.”

He sounded disgusted, voice low, completely different to before.

“You, sweety, are my sacrifice. So do me a favour and dont make too much noise okay?”

Your eyes widened as you completely froze, his arms reaching out to grab you before you turned to run,

But he was there, he was all around you as he grabbed you, ripped at your clothing and taunted you, making you slowly back away until you fell to the floor, his body ontop of yours as he placed a chain around your neck, the candles that were once on the desk, now perfectly settled around you , goosebumps on your skin as you stared up at him, eyes wide as he only chuckled.

“Hmm i think the medicine is ready?” He taunted, walking over your body to the bubbling pot, picking it up before walking back to you.

“Why are you doing this??” You whimpered in fear, his eyes wild as he smiled;

“As i said, youre my sacrifice. Im going to be more powerful once your blood has been spilt.”

“But- why me? Why?”

“Youre alone. You always have been. Ive been watching you, honey, waiting. Waiting till you were the perfect size and age to sacrifice. Its your fate, and its mine to become supreme.”

“And with that;”

He gladed at you before grabbing your jaw, holding it open, letting the burning hot liquid slide down your throat, before letting you lie back against the floor, coughing and spluttering.

“What was that?”

“An activator, honey. Youll feel it soon.” He cackled before reading some lines from a book; a language you couldn’t understand.

your eyes watering as you thrashed around beneath him, back arching and eyes rolling back before you slumped against the floor. Your body lay limp infront of him, his show quite quick as he observed with a wonder.

“Hmm? Maybe you werent ready yet.” He sighed, his sacrifice gone to waste.

“Pathetic.” He groaned, dragging your body toward the fireplace, before hearing a knock from upstairs.

“Maybe this one will do better than you.” He grinned.

#straykids #skz #jisung #han jisung #kpop writing #skz writing #straykids writing #straykids jisung #han #horror #horror au #witch au

[luxexhomines]

S

Ahhh, thank you guys so much for asking!! I just compiled them all into one post so I don’t clog up your dash with several posts. Here we go! I’m going to tag this as discourse and put a cut because my answers to the letters might not please everyone, aha. It’s long, too. Major spoilers for NDRV3.

S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist?

Honestly, I’m not super sure at this point. Surprise, surprise, I only just recently finished watching the rest of NDRV3 and started writing for it. And I haven’t thought about tropes that much, though I’m sure I’ve written plenty of them into my writing at some point, even if not posted on here. 

If we’re going to go Danganronpa-centric, as this is my side blog for Danganronpa writing, I’d say that I fall in love with characters that are contradictory and with seemingly bipolar or gray morals despite probably having morals as straight as an arrow myself, i.e. Nagito or Kokichi. The characters playing “straight man” and relating to the reader’s perspective are also my favorite; in a wacky situation, they offer reason and normal reactions, which I would peg Hajime as (maybe Kazuichi, too, although he’s more of a crybaby). In fanfiction, I just love hurt & comfort fics, especially involving–you guessed it–Kokichi. I am particularly partial to the Oumota chapter 5 and chapter 5 trial rewrites, which, lucky for me, both of which are quite often rewritten by spectacular writers.

If we’re going in general, I always end up reading manga with an independent, strong and decisive character that crosses worlds and/or bodies by accident or death and becomes incredibly powerful/influential in the world and dominates over other characters with skills ranging from cooking to fighting. I guess I read a lot of manhua with martial arts or other manga with game aspects to it.Writing-wise, I love reading slow burn fics, even if I haven’t read one in quite some time. 

T: Any fandom tropes you can’t stand?

I have a feeling this is going to go into highly controversial areas, so if you ultra ship Kaito x Maki, please turn away now...

I just hate that “man saves woman” from herself or traumatic past trope. Don’t get me wrong, I love hurt/comfort like I mentioned, but to specify, what I mean is when a strong and independent woman needs saving by a man. I realize Maki has a lot of issues from her past as an assassin and that Kaito is a viable, good option for helping her out and facing those issues, but the fact of him being a man and the way he just swoops in and fixes things forcefully by pulling her along for training just irks me. And before you ask, yes, if Kaede did it instead as a woman I would have less of a problem with it, even if I don’t like that somehow after a couple days of training together Maki somehow is better able to get along with others and most notably Shuichi despite having spent the previous entire time cooped up in her Ultimate room alone, is willing to use her experience as an assassin to help out with the investigation when she just walked out in the past, etc. Problems from a past like that would never be so easily faced in reality; people and their minds are much more stubborn than we’d like to think, too. 

In general, I am also highly averse to the Women in Refrigerators trope. To some extent, I feel that Kaede fits this trope, as a.) she is an important, pivotal, incredibly fleshed out female character and even the initial protagonist of ndrv3, b.) she dies arbitrarily for a murder she did not commit, c.) a big part of her death is written into Shuichi’s character development for making him grow as the protagonist (he sheds the cap, faces the truth, and the memory of Kaede’s last wishes serves as his support to reveal the truth several times in trial), and of course, d.) her death in the execution is grotesque as befitting of a Danganronpa execution. Kaede deserved so. much. more.

There are probably more out there, but I won’t mention them for the sake of length & time. 

U: Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

Okay! So don’t hate me for this, but I haven’t been really keeping up a bunch with fanfiction writers or specific ones that much. It just hasn’t ever been a habit of mine in the past to follow one writer–ironic, I know. There’s one that immediately comes to mind, but she’s not part of the Danganronpa fandom, so unless someone asks, I’ll leave her out of it. However, there are a couple of writers that I recently discovered through the Oumota weekend event and which I follow on my main blog, and I thoroughly enjoy reading their work. Their work also contains mentions of NDRV3 spoilers!

1. @kirastrations

I recently reblogged her work on this blog because I have so much love for the Oumota fic she wrote (which deserves more love!). It’s called One by One, One After Another, and I simply adore the way she writes Kaito’s character and experiences with the other characters throughout the game and the overarching feeling that comes across as a result of the situation and what ensues. The diction choices she makes is absolute art; I see the imagery so clearly in my head, and not a single word of hers is wasted. It’s concise while being aptly and most beautifully descriptive. Even though I’m not a huge fan of Kaito, the way she writes him and his actions make me love him. I would describe the work as a futile yet desperate and exquisite struggling, an embodiment of angst that is so beautifully painful that it appears to be an illusion. I haven’t had a chance to check out other works from her just yet, but that’s on my to-do list!

2. @golden-redhead

I love, love, love their work too. They recently posted Lavender, a Kirumi x Kaede (Tojomatsu? Kaerumi? Kirumatsu?) work for femslash Feb, and it is a post-reality Virtual AU short fic. The way they write the interaction between Kirumi and Kaede offers such a delicate, carefully constructed image and story while creating some tension between the two. They also format the story with Kirumi’s thoughts in a simple and straightforward way that is just so delicious to read. Aspects of Kirumi explored are small things that unravel into a bigger statement about her character and the nature of the killing game and the impact it has left on her. It reminds me of the way a player might gently stack up a house of cards–attentively, with a sharp eye and feel. 

3. @starlightwritesalie

They wrote these two Oumota fics for the weekend that I fell in love with, especially the one for Day 1: Heroes/Villains. Sometimes when living in the world of Danganronpa, you forget that these tragic situations and the killing game are experienced, in essence, by children. You can argue that they’re older than high schoolers for the first two games, but mentally they are still high schoolers, and let’s face it–a couple years above the legal age of being an adult in America, 18, can hardly be counted as an adult, either. They reminded me of that sickening fact so poetically yet bluntly, and the story they write only serves as a further reminder of that fact. They write statements about the situation and how the pair act in the situation that are so agonizing yet irrefutable–as is the situation that they’re both trapped in. The ending is so unbearably cruel, packed with pain, but the way they create it is so decisively soft and snatches away my breath with the truth at the heart of the game, the situation. 

So there you have it! Sorry that my answers are so long... I have too much to say, and especially about the people whom I adore. Since it said to pick 3, I didn’t get to include these two, but I also love aroseandapen and mystic-mints dearly. If you ask, I’ll write a whole paragraph on why I love them, too, although I suspect by this time you all are getting rather tired of all my talking, haha. I also didn’t include imagines blogs, but if you’re curious, feel free to ask about that since I am still kind of a imagines blog! I guess at this point I’m kind of a fusion of an imagines blog and normal fanfiction writing blog.

Thanks for asking, and if you have any more questions, feel free to shoot an ask!

#ask #anon #ask game #writing ask game #lux answers #lux speaks #discourse #not imagines #not writing #ndrv3 spoilers #drv3 spoilers #v3 spoilers #danganronpa spoilers #controversial #ask away if you have any more questions! I will always answer! #luxexhomines #astrogirl2003

[aijee]

hello! i’m the anon who left the 6-part ask regarding mg a few months ago (i refer to those asks bc i’m back to drop more thoughts about mg and might touch on what i previously said). i wrote this whole thing disregading word count, believing i could drop it all in one go because i managed to log in to my tumblr, but it seems i still have to break it up… lmao i don’t know how many parts this will be or if i could post it all tonight, but i will signify the very end with “6-part anon” :)

Cont’d with response under the cut (I made some executive decisions about where the paragraphs break lol so it’s not all one block of text):

they want to be famous; that part just came along with the package. then i read in your bts post, you see mg as more wrapped up in entertainment, having star power with a bright personality, liking the limelight. reading that, i do agree, but i guess ive never thought of that before. i think wanting to be a star and wanting to be in the spotlight can seem self-centered. i hope im not coming across like im judging everyone who wants to be famous as “bad” because that’s not what i’m trying to do, but i think it’s safe enough to say that wanting to be famous means wanting people’s attention on you. i’m trying to tread carefully but i suppose i am saying that on the surface, wanting to be a big star can seem a little selfish in the sense that you want to boost your image, present your best self at all times, want people’s eyes on you and want them to think good things about you. combining those general thoughts about wanting to be a star, with my thoughts about mg in particular, is interesting to me.

i’ve always seen him as someone so selfless, so lovely, so considerate towards others. throughout idotsc, you’ve written him throughout as someone so amiable, liked by everyone, and also selfless and considerate. and in chp 7, his reaction twds the pictures is... well, I think they’re pretty true to character, and again i think it shows selflessness. then the ‘Love Languages’ text that OP had written— while, of course, OP doesn’t know him and everything is an assumption to a certain degree, I think their writing summarizes in one place what I observed about mg through the content available to the public: he constantly gives to people around him, exhibiting sincerity, words of gratitude and acts of service. at the same time, i definitely agree with what you said about his star quality, so i think that was the first time i really stopped to examine my thoughts about stardom and how some things may not be mutually exclusive.

“stardom” also makes me think about his recent incident, because of course, such incidents are definitely a potential consequence of fame. during that time i’ve also come across several opinions saying that they’re not surprised if a current idol was a past bully… i don’t remember exactly what people said but i think it was somewhere along the lines of, if they were so confident and cocky since predebut, then they might have had the qualities of a bully. something like that. i think from the outside looking in, it may be easier to equate star quality with a diva attitude/disregard twds others.

one thing i’d like to add is sth that a famous person said abt fame, and why they value it more than money, bc if they meet a fan, the look on the fan’s face upon meeting them gives them a feeling money can’t buy. and i suppose from this angle, being a star seems selfless. with svt too, they expressed how meaningful it is to them that theyre able to bring us so much joy. i think from the outside looking in, it may be easier to equate star quality with a diva attitude/disregard twds others. one thing i’d like to add is sth that a famous person said abt fame, and why they value it more than money, bc if they meet a fan, the look on the fan’s face upon meeting them gives them a feeling money can’t buy. and i suppose from this angle, being a star seems selfless. with svt too, they expressed how meaningful it is to them that theyre able to bring us so much joy.

i hope this all makes sense; i had lots of thoughts and wanted to try to write them. i struggled to understand why one would want to be a star, and went in circles questioning if i thought it was more selfish or selfless, and what one’s true motives might be behind wanting fame. ik u implied u embrace long writing bc you also write in length, but i’m less eloquent than you are so i hope this was fine! thank you again for having a space where people could offload their thoughts :) ~6-part anon~

There’s a lot to unpack here, isn’t there! A buffet of food for thought, for sure. I can’t possibly respond to everything written here because there’s just so many points, so I’ll write a few points. As always, take what I write with a grain of salt.

I don’t think there’s anything bad or inherently wrong with pointing out that, hey, people who are interested in a profession necessarily tied to a public image probably to show off or want attention. These things are perfectly natural to want, even for people who aren’t celebrities, because we’re (1) inherently social creatures and a lot of our survival is contingent on external success, and (2) we are brought up to feel validation from others, especially in an age where our lives are much more on display. But I can see why “selfishness” may be thrown in the mix because we often look down on attention-seekers and “popular” people, many of whom exhibit arrogant/tone-deaf behaviors. On the other hand, it’s understandable that an idol with a big public image necessitates putting their best foot forward all the time to maintain good opinion of them and to earn more money, frankly.

I’ve probably repeated myself too many times, but something I’ve been grappling with recently is this black-and-white mindset/judgment system we often have of others (very much exacerbated by social media, e.g. witch hunts). Bad is bad, good is good. I’ve thought this way for a long time of myself in an upbringing that always punished/looked down on bad behavior (or what was considered behavioral flaws, like speaking out against elders, swearing as a femme person, etc.) rather than acknowledging that “bad” behavior can be exhibited by people who also do and act “good.” In short, while I can only speak from my perspective, I think we’re programmed to subconsciously seek behavioral perfection for a number of reasons: we were raised that way by family; and/or society; we feel judged by the presence of social media and greater access into our lives; accessibility to celebrities and “perfect” public figures makes us judge ourselves by comparison; education systems that poorly address internal learning as well as external learning, etc.

In Mingyu’s case, there’s nothing wrong with seeing and continuing to see him as all those good qualities in my opinion. There’s nothing wrong with grappling with potential past problematic behaviors of your faves, as long as you’re critical and open-minded about the parties involved (which is rarely ever a fanbase at large, but the skewed authority of a fanbase is a different can of worms). Idols are human, which means dealing with the good and bad that comes with interacting humans. Contrary to popular belief (and I write this sarcastically), people CAN change. People should be ALLOWED to change. Characters are static. People are not. And it’s sad to say that this is still an issue in the K-Pop world. 

As hard as it sounds, a person who bullied others in the past could still have good or pure intentions for becoming an idol. They could still feel fulfillment from making others happy; is that a bad thing? I personally don’t think so. Or maybe a person’s intentions for becoming an idol could be mixed good or bad, who the fuck knows? Not us. Honestly, I firmly believe that we fans don’t have the right to make definitive moral judgments of idols in the first place because we don’t know them personally. That, and people are extremely complex and hard to categorize, as much as we want to because it’s easier to do so. People are messy. Real life teaches us that more than the Internet does imo.

In any case, I don’t think selfishness and selflessness are mutually exclusive in the same way a person can be both good and bad. I learned that language, too, is a powerful vehicle that influences how we think. In that vein, with how compartmentalized definitions are in specific words, perhaps we think that their existence/practice is separate, i.e. being “selfish” is never being “selfless” because each word’s definition exists solely in their respective word and not the other (hopefully that makes some sense).

TL;DR: I think wanting attention and validation from others is okay and not inherently a bad thing, and people are fucking messy and rarely good without the bad (and vice versa).

Pretty sure I rambled a ton as well and probably didn’t hit that many points that you offered, anon. You ended up putting me on a thought train as well!

#askaijee

[beryul-blog]

so  i’ve  reached  a  milestone .   ive  loved  luke  ever  since  i   first  watched  the  movies  when  i   was  seven  years  old  and??????honestly  my  love  for  him  hasn’t  changed?????  having  said  that ,   my   love   and   understanding   for   his   character   would   not   have   been   where   it   is   now   without   you   guys.    im  just   so   grateful   and   balled   over   at   the   talent ,   creativity ,   and   passion   of   everyone   i   follow   and   idk   expressing   emotions   is   not   my   strong   suit   so   uhhhhhhhh   yeahhhhhhhh   ilu<333   im   way   too   adh.d  for  this   i  stg ZOOM ZOO M TO  THE SPECIAL  MENT I O N S

THE BLUE MILK  (  the  duplicates  ---  some  id  consider  friends  )

ooOooOh boy .    you   guys  i  cant   even   bE  GIN  to  explain  my   love  for   y’all .     i   have   the   biggest   duplicate   angziety  in   the   world .    its   in   my   nature   i   cant   help   it   and   honestly??????/all   your   interpretations   terrify   me   bu t in a good way i promise   bc   theyre   all   so   unique   and   well   thought   out   and   amazing  and   what   makes   it   even   wor S E   is   that   all   of   you   (  even  the  ones  that  i  dont  speak  to  all  that  often  )   are   the   sweetest,   most   talented ,   sensitive ,   passionate   individuals   ive   met   online????? EV E R.   also   all   these   comments   are  genuine  not   sarcastic aslkjaksdnasl   (forgive  me  im  british  i  thin k  everything  sounds  sarcastic)

@horizonwept  :   charlie????mY. G OD.   your   understanding   and   enthusiasm   of   our   Son   is   unparalleled   and?????? ik   we   dont  speak  that   much  recently  b u  T  I  WANT  TO  MORE????? everytime   you  post   something   i   press  mah   lil   face   up   to   the   screen   and   weepe t h .   you’re   also   kind   and   funny   and   people   just????? love  u?????AND  I lov e  u  too?????  al SO   you   convinced   me   of   lukes   characterisation   in    tlj   and   tfa   and   honestly????im   so  s O   glad   u   did<3   everythign  u   post   is  just   so   thought  out   and   intelligent  and   i   just.   wish.   i   could  do   wht   u   do???   keep   being  amazing   sweaty  :’) @lstjedi  :   KAY!!!!!!!   the   founder   of   the   lu k e   slywalker  group   chat   *g a sps*   mah   love.   now   i   know   youve   been   feeling   a   lil   insecure   recently   about   ur   age   and  ur   mental   health  has   been   acting   up   (belief  me  i  know<3 )   b u T  HUN NN Y   listen   up:   you   ar e  the   symbol   of   dont-judge-by-age   policy   bc   honestly???? u   have   the   skill,   dedication,   and   maturity  of   people   who   are   twice   ur   age.   ur   passion????? unbelievable.   ur   kindness?????  one  of   a   kind.   ur  maturity?????? uhhhh more   than   me.     ur   writing???? delicious.    if   youre   feeling   insecure   about   your  age,   dont.      you   are  amazing   and   talented   and   dont   u   d  A  RE    forget   it<3   edit:   also   i   love  how   you   come   onto   the   chat   being   the  first  person  to   talk   and  ur   like  ‘hi  guys!!!’  and   idk  i   just   find   u  really   sweet   and  friendlyasjdna,nda @skyhcpped  :    ro!!!!!!!   henlo   there  my   frond.    first   of   all   wh  ERE   DO  U   FIND  ALL   THESE   MEMES??????  im loving it keep going.    we   havent   spoken   much   b U T   the  groupchat   has   brought   us   Together   and   thats   the   best   thing   ever   bc   i   think   ur   just?????? so   talented   and   ur   understanding   and   love   for   luke  (eveninmemes)  is   unparalleled.   i   love   talking   about   our   mutual  Hate  for  re/ylo   and   a L SO   i   hope   ur   not   still   freezing   on   hoth?????if  you  are cold,   wrap   up   warm,   grab   urself   a   hot  chocolate   if   u   like   that   sort   of   thing,  run  a   bath,   uhhhhhhhhh  create   a   pillow   fort,   find   a   tauntaun   and   sit   inside  it.   that   was   my   survival   lecture  thanks  for  coming  to  my  ted  talk  :)))))   also  the  fact  u  are.  literally.  daredevil???? taking  a s  hot  of  vinegar  and terrified   a   boy??? my  hero, mah idol.    i   did   a   reverse  thing  where  i  dared  (2)  boys  to  take  a  teaspoon   of   vanilla   essence   and   they  did  it   (s o empowering  ;)

@lightswept  :   riceeeeee.   honestly  how  can   anyone   ever   hate   you????    we   havent   been   talking   for   v   long   but   omgskdnf   you   are   so   sweet   and   lovely   and   u   deserve   The  World?????   haters   need   to   back  tf   up   bc   u   are   so   Pu re.    and   ur   also   really   attentive?????  your   writing   is   just   so   fluent  and  honestly??a  full   course  meal.   remember   that  i   love   and  appreciate   you   and  thats   NEVER  going  to   change<333   if  u  ever   need   to   talk,   i  am  always   here   even   tho  im   shit   at   advice   i  will   send  u   metaphorical  cake  and  hugs xoxo

@hopegave  :   mY  ITALIAN  BEAN.   look  at  us  europeans  yesiknowbrexit,   awake   when   all   the   ‘muricans   are   sleep i n g  asljdaksl   ur   honestly   adorable??????like   i   cant even  begin?????on  the  group   chat   youre   so   enthusiastic  and   capiTAL  LETTERS   and   asjaklsdlka  so   Pu re???  and  both  of   us   gushing  about   snow  ??????? iconic,  truly.  you,   being   the   first  person  to   call   ne w   york   hoth????? also  iconic.  ITALY  IS  ONE  OF   MY   FAV   PLACES   ON  EARTH  I   GO  THERE   A   LOT  IN   THE  SUMMERASFJHSD b U T  thats  off  topic.  what  i   need  to   say   is   that   ilu   and   ur   enthusias m   and  friendliness   and   yeah??????   stay  awesome

 @dualsuns   :   LIAM   IDK  WHY  IM   TELLING   U   THIS   BUT  WHENEVER   I   THINK   OF   U   I   THINK   OF   WINE???????  m aybe  its  bc   ur   prose  is   so   damn   sophistica t e d?????  its  so   fluent   and   makes  s o  much  sense???? ur  so   good   at   narrating   lukes   thoughts   its   so   obvious   you   have  this  amazing   understanding   of   his   character  its  !!!!!!!!  and   i   seriously  admire  that/?   like  your   voice   is  uhhh h   on  point .    i  can   tell   you   take   this   seriously   and   care  so   much   about   luke    (boi   me  too)  and  it   shows????  in   all   ur   hcs   and   ooc   posts   its   all   backe d   up   with    quotes,   love   and   analysis  like   damnnnnnnnn.   i   know  ive   only   really   interacted   w   you   a   couple  of   times   in    passing   but   id   love  to   more?????   ur   amazing   everythings   amazing  wow<3

 @didntturn   :    hmm mMMMM Mm   kylie.   have   we   ever  spoken?????  i   dont   think   so.   i   just   admire  u   from   afar   :’)   g U RL   first   of  all   ur   hilarious????  idk   i   think  we’ve  got   a   similar  sense   of   humour aklsdnanm  its   very   british.   also  ur   hcs   t a KE  MY  BREATH   AWAY.   so  muc h  detail   and   love?????   u   clearly   have   a   deep   understanding   of   luke  only  us   mere   mortals   can   d  REA M   of<3   hope  we   can   start   talking   bc   i   uhhhh  adore   ur   characterisation   and   id   love   to   discuss?????  idk   im   gushinggggggg

THESE  ARE  ONLY   SOME  DUPLICATES  I  COULD  GUSH  ABOUT  EVERY  SINGLE  ONE  OF  U  UNTIL  THE  DAY  I  DI  E

THE DROIDS  (  mah  main cretins  )  

@guiltslut  :   yh  idk  who  u   ar e   :/    j K  BINCH  IK  UR   WENDO!!!!!   mah  main  cretin  :’)   youve   been   by   my  side   for   8   months   (or   was  it   seven???? i cant rememberasdkajsdk)  which   is   an,, ,, ,  achievement.   your   writing  is   tasty  af   and   ur   enthusiasm  unparalleled.   i  will   always  love  and   appreciate   you<3

@smuglr  :   i   have   to   put   u  on  here   bc   we’ve  known   each   other   for   over   a  year   and   thats   kinda   mcCrazy??? im  sorry  i  havent   kept   in  touch  as   much  as  i  probably   should   have,  but  im   more  sorry   for  making  u   think  i   was   on   bath salts   when  i   was  quoting  bad  lip   reading  :/   honestly   ever  since  the  beginning   ive   admired   ur   prose   so   much???? its   so   good   and  attentive   and  poetic  and  fluent  i  just???? could   gush   about   it   all   weak   tbhhhhhh  your   graphics   and   aethetics   are   also ?????? amazing?????? im  so   happy   that  i  know  u   and  even  after  all  this  time   i  still  love   and  appreciate  u<33  Stay groovy  mah  frond

@primdoe   :    sO   ik   i   havent  known   u   for   very   long   at  all   n  this   is   probably   like?????? a  lil   Extra??????   but   im   already  in  love.   i  could  gush   about   ur   oc   for  Yonks   and   just   how   passionate  and   attentive   you   are  to  her????? shes   so   detailed   and   cared  about   by   many   and   you   inspire   me  to  put  more  detail  into  my  own  ocs askdjasmnd???? ur  graphics  and  ps  skills  are  just????? they  water  my  crops  honestly???? and the fact that you gave me one of your psds is the sweetest ilu??  

SPACE SHIPS  (  the  i-admire-from-afar-but-also-interracted-with-in-the-ims-and-loVING IT-so-far-even-tho-im-shit-at-replying????  category  )  

@aequitia ,    @astrmech ,  @awokeforce ,  @baelnc ,   @deadlymarch ,   @elanere  ,   @hopehrt ,  @rystolo  ,   @scintist  ,   @sunworn .

SUNSETS   (  the  i  admire  and  havent  interacted  with  yet  *__* )

@dynste ,  @entropiet ,  @ersoic ,  @flypulse ,   @forcebled ,  @galasymph ,  @greysistance ,  @jaigsight ,   @midlapse ,  @tiefighting ,  @resistijo ,  @roseared ,  @starkniight ,  @theforcetm ,   @rotichor  ,   @scorpyre .

#ik ive missed a to n #b U T if ur my mutual then #hmu :* #this too k me all da y #but i need everyone to know that yall water my harvest<3 #✫ * . THIS IS THE DOLLAR STORE . HOW GOOD CAN IT BE ? / * OUT .

[thedapperrabbit]

She-Ra Rewatch: season 3 and onwards through season 4, and boatloads of Introspection time!

So Ive been rewatching She-Ra with my partner, because sharing Entrapdak is caring. I could probably squee on about that for a century or more (because eeee, sharing things i love with people i love AND THEY EVEN PAY ATTENTION TO THE THINGS AND REMEMBER THEM!)...but ill spare you, kind internet strangers who for some reason find my thoughts mildly interesting enough to be reading this. This is going to be a lot. Like, a LOT. A lot especially from a stranger that youve probably only seen a notification from due to me sticking a heart on your content or for reblogging something lovely youve made in pictures or words. I dont think anything is going to be violently trigger-y because im not always great at judging that stuff and also ive yet to feel quite comfy enough to be  fully open-posting specifics about my own past trauma, other than a vague allusion to self-harm and distant-ish unspecified abuse aaaand the usual childhood garbage truck of assholes....but i suppose you could possibly draw some darker potential conclusions from the content im focused on. Also, my ADHD makes it incredibly hard to keep to a straight and non-branching narrative so...ramble-y bits and expressions of brain frustration ahoy. Either way...you are forewarned, just in case. Sorry in advance, this is going to be a small booklet by the time Im done explaining, and thinking, and then attempting to stick words to abstract feels which sometimes im great at, and then others i fucking suck at...but at least this is all written and not me trying to say this to any of your faces! Thats....a mercy all of its own. Haa...  Anyway, while rewatching with my partner, I realized just how much more painful parts of it are to sit through now...they were the first time, and each time since, but NOW having spent a while mulling over the series as a whole a bunch, and reading a lot of other peoples writings on here and finding myself largely in agreement with most Entrapdak fan’s assessment of things, I just....feel like all the air is ripped out of me during some moments, watching  with keener insight. And despite thinking i had myself reasonably well figured out by my age, its all also made me further consider a few things about myself as well. Particularly my notable internalized fury response to chunks of it which have been consistent through all my viewings of SPOP. With Hordak at least, its way easier to understand my reactions. For me at least. Maybe not so much for the people around me. And, shittier due to intensity and subject matter, but still easier in the long run because...the broken bits in me that he resonates with are fresher and sharper and still more recent, like within the last ten years, and thus more towards the front shelves in my head, compared to things that resonate with Entrapta, which are all old, lifelong dull aches at this point. I feel like nothing i can point to is fully sufficient to fully express my feels involving Hordak. But, maybe the best representative moment is with the crying i do every damn time I see his face looking up at Prime just after he glimmer and catra were beamed up...because ive seen that face in the mirror. I HAVE MADE THAT FACE. That same. Goddamn. Face. I may not have gotten a jab to the back of the neck directly from the person I made it at...but they often seemed to silently goad me to harm myself in an attempt to jolt my brain out of getting stuck in re-looping through what theyd just done/said to me. Likewise, much of his interactions with Entrapta are very...very weirdly familiar in feeling, but in a good way. Watching the stuff with Hordak hurts because fuck me if it isnt frequently like watching myself back in 2008ish to 2013, which was the duration of the worst parts of that particular circle of hell i parked my ass in. So...that makes sense. Hes so well written in those moments, it occasionally gave me PTSD flashbacks (still does a little, but now im prepared and braced for it and can shrug it back off....thanks, lifetime of therapy and years of studying abnormal psychology! Still totally not an expert, just very passionate...just, as a disclaimer).  Entrapta though...Entrapta is a different story. Mostly, I see Entrapta and in her free expressions of delight and joy and her bouncy enthusiasm I am reminded of a younger, less discouraged me in some ways, and in others, a “me” I could have been, but...well, extremely early-onset anxiety and depression made me insanely self-conscious super-super early on...not that i was great at hiding or...i guess the term people seem comfy with is “masking”? Which was a huge problem, or so it was in the 80s when far less was understood of such things. Id do so for a bit and then would forget to, in a way (because id forget long enough to go and trust again reflexively) and would get badly bullied and would squish everything down until id feel a crumb of safety again, and then almost instantly ADHD would pop that mask right the rest of the way off aaand it would start all over again. Ad nauseam until my teen years, where the depression sort of “fixed” that, and made it much easier to destroy my desire to share much of myself freely at all, save for with one or two people, and to a less deep extent a broader circle of nerd friends. Course, then i hit 30 and ran out of the majority of fucks I used to give. Or I became so damaged and salted with anger that parts of me dont grow any fucks anymore? Either way, plowshares to swords, WHEEEE!) And, maybe thats where this time while watching, I started to really think back to all that, and to how i see Entrapta treated by the other princesses, or really just in general except by Hordak...and why it burns my biscuits so badly. Every time I see someone roll their eyes at Entrapta’s beautiful unbridled enthusiasm or try to make it seem distasteful or at least weird and unwanted and uncomfortable for them but then dont even bother to try coming to terms with why they feel that way... or how they seem to feel free to grab and manhandle her without her consent, or the way they try to lessen her contributions because shes non-normative? Like its the fucking least she can do to make up for being weird in their space (...okay, that might just be the anger kicking in..but i dont feel like its an entirely innacurate assessment, is it?)  All of that...seeing it inflicted upon someone, It feels like someones punched me right in the damn sternum, but because its a hurt that im so desensitized to, it seems to have a much different effect than the sharp, violent crushing pain that i feel when I relate to Hordak a little too well for comfort. Again, i could go on, but its nothing more eloquent people on here havent already spoken volumes on. And my first gut reaction is always “I dont understand! why is that their reaction to her?! it doesnt seem logical at all, i dont seem to be able to parse it correctly, how is this acceptable? I HOPE SHE IMMOLATES YOU ALL.”. Which...I suppose isnt entirely usual for me (the silent wishing that people be immolated, I mean...i blame my past years of working in retail. And devouring too much Warhammer 40k contentl).  (oh gods...and this is going to be the most clusterfucky part cause i can feel my meds kicking in and thats gonna be hard to keep coherence on but i gotta get this all out of my head or ill forget it or get too scared of you fucking BRILLIANT insightful smart people on here and then ill continue to live scared and regretful that i never said..anything, and just sat here like “noticeme, entrapdak sempais!”  Ehhn...which is to say, if this is a garbage dump from here down, dont worry, when i wake up ill fix it...but hopefully itll at least make a tiny bit of sense ) But I realized something...something I hadnt ever rememberd much about due to the shitty neuronormative (apology if thats wrong term) behaviors continuing over years and years but in less and less directly aggressive ways as i grew older and was more prone to losing my shit in , (and likely because I got excessively lucky and managed through...uhhh...agonizing determination? Sheer stubbornness? Alleviatory rebalancing of universal karma? fuck if i know --to  curate a surprisingly supportive circle of other castoffs and misanthropes.) That was exactly how people used to treat me.  OKAY THISLL BE EDITED LATER to add in the rest of what i was gonna say...im...too full of Ambien sleep meds and damn write it anymore...and im aing trouble separating realigty and dream...an i k apawing at the kybord...not safe Lov yous for reading this far. Il fix it later, swears.

#should i tag this? #im not sure if i like it #berres #psyhcology of pop culture chraracters #psychology of the writer/author

[punkcherries]

get ready to rrrrrumble

jesus christ this is a long ass submission so uh puts it in a read more also puts my txt in bold so its easier to read 👍

Right, so I’ve just read everything that happened in the last few asks you got and I’m just gonna sit down and tell you this right now. You better strap the fuck in because this is long and if you’re not gonna read it, shame on you, because all of this is specifically about YOU and the problems people have with you (the people Blu mentioned). First off, I’m not Blu, so don’t go and start calling him names in your server because you’re finally, FINALLY, being called out on all the bullshit you do. I used to be your friend, I left on semi-good terms, and this entire thing is going to explain WHY I left + why you need to square the fuck up.

sounds like fun whoever u are

You need to get your shit together and seriously change yourself, but of course you’re not gonna do that, because you’re an incompetent piece of shit who has your head so far up your ass you can’t see all the things you do wrong. You act like you’re the person who suffers the most, and that anytime anyone is rude to you it’s THEIR fault, not the fact that you did something terrible to someone or that you started some drama. I’ve been fed up with this shit for months, and have been hesitant to say anything directly to your face, because you don’t even know me that well and we hardly talked. We did interact a few times, but those few times were absolute hell to me, because I must have literally retracted some kind of disease just from being near you. You are the fucking EMBODIMENT of tumblrina, and it’s so fucking sad because you weren’t like this before (based on what a few others have told me).

the use of tumblrina here is jus makin me laugh ur a funny guy buddy but i feel like my past self is worse thn my current self like past me participated in cringe culture so like ew

The way you talk? Absolutely fucking horrid. Sit the fuck up and talk like a normal goddamn human being. I’m here to talk to you, not to decipher some 57 commas and abhorrid shortening of words. Jesus fucking Christ Sombre, I can understand Internet slang and cutting some words up, but you fucking butcher the English language so bad it literally sounds like a toddler having a stroke while mashing at their keyboard. It’s “that” not “tht”, it’s “thing” not “thng”, it’s “something” not “smth”, and for GOD FUCKING SAKES IT’S “THE” NOT “TH”. ARE YOU LITERALLY SO FUCKING LAZY THAT YOU CAN’T EVEN TYPE “THE”, A THREE LETTER WORD. I don’t give a shit if you’re talking like this to sound like an anxious uwu tumblr piece of SHIT, it sounds fucking IDIOTIC and it’s an ABSO-FUCKING-LUTE PAIN TO READ.

language is fake and is mostly just sounds we give meaning, im very sorry if you have trouble reading the way i type and id be more than happy to try and not speak to you like i usually do to everyone else if you just asked politely and talked it out with me (tho the idiotic part is accurate im not very smart lmao)

SPEAKING OF YOUR TUMBLR, LET’S TALK ABOUT YOUR UPSET.TXT TAG. If you think anyone is gonna pity you, SPOILER ALERT! THEY’RE FUCKING NOT. Unless they’re your shitty “friends”, NOBODY fucking gives a shit, alrighty? Speaking from my perspective and a few others, nobody’s gonna see this venting on their dashboard and give two shits. Unless they’re your mutuals, they won’t care and it just leaves a bad impression. It’s pathetic how when ANYTHING negative happens to you, you decide to take to Tumblr to boo hoo crypost about it. You wanna vent? You wanna cry yourself to sleep? Cool, talk about it on your server, NOT FUCKING TUMBLR, WHERE LITERALLY ANYONE CAN SEE IT. This is just like how Facebook used to be, you see these posts of people posting personal shit and getting bit in the ass for it later, YEAH WELL THAT’S WHAT’S HAPPENING TO YOU RIGHT NOW BUDDY. DON’T LIKE IT? DON’T FUCKING VENT ON TUMBLR.

i rarely vent on here dude like?? do you see the time gaps between the posts in my vent tag? its also my blog so i can post whatever i like as long as im not hurting anyone yo, plus the point of venting for me at least isnt to like get attention or sympathy its to let off some steam not to mention most to all of my vent posts are vague as hell so like…. why do you even care though?? if i get bit in the ass then thats my problem not yours

Right, so let’s talk about your “im gay” tag too! You identify as male, correct? That’s cool! Congrats. But you’re not gay if you clearly show an interest in girls. Doesn’t matter if they’re fictional or not. Your “im gay” tag is filled with girls (Bismuth, some anime girl, pinup girls). NEWSFLASH ASSHOLE! You’re male, those are females! Opposite genders! That means you’re NOT GAY! WOAAAAAH! So who are you to be reblogging and posting all this shit about how hetero people are the devil, hetero people are the worst wah wah, when you yourself identify as a guy and clearly seem to be interested in girls, even if just a little?

dude i used to identify as nonbinary i only recently started identifying as male, hell i used to identify as female ages back so like? the posts in that tag are most to all old and i do realize my attraction to girls isnt gay, hence why ive only been referring to my attraction to dudes as me being gay post-male identification i guess

Speaking of all the heterophobic shit you reblog, have you not considered it could make some of your followers feel absolutely terrible? I’m bi myself, I like both guys and girls, but holy FUCK when I see that shit on your blog it makes me feel guilty for liking guys at all! Is that how you want people to feel? Whether they’re pan, bi, or straight, that shit’s literally so fucking damaging and it sure as hell hurts to see! And don’t throw that “some of those posts are jokes” bullshit at me, because guess the fuck what! They may be jokes to people who aren’t hetero, but they sure as hell don’t seem like jokes to those who are! How would you feel if I made a joke that was even SLIGHTLY negative towards homosexuals? Wait, no, don’t answer that, because I already know how you’d feel. You’d get pissy, you’d stomp your little baby feet over to Tumblr, and then crypost about it, saying you’re facing homophobia and being harassed blah blah blah.

HETEROPHOBIC IM LAUGHING…. buddy…. pal…. heterophobia is fake and im very sorry if those post make you feel bad as a bisexual person (im also bi so) but heterophobia isnt actually a thing, comparing jokes directed at straight people to lgbtphobia is inherently lgbtphobic as it compares little jokes most to all directed at bigoted/ignorant straights to something that can often result in the actual literal death of hundreds of people for their gender/orientation- that doesnt happen to straight people dude

Also: you don’t have autism. Were you officially diagnosed? Because I’m gonna be real fuckin’ honest, it doesn’t sound like you have autism. You sure have something, hoh yeah, but it’s sure as hell not autism. You put your “autism” up on a pedestal and act like it’s one of the only things about you, like no hunty, your mental illness doesn’t define you. Nobody gives a shit, okay? Your mental illness isn’t an excuse to act like a literal fuckface, it’s not an excuse to treat people like shit, and it sure as hell isn’t an excuse to blame everything on others and make yourself out to be the good guy because “my autism made me anxious or forget things ;w;”. This is the exact kind of tumblrina thing I’m talking about, people on this goddamn website act like their mental illness is the only quality about them and that not being neurotypical makes them special. NEWS-FUCKIN-FLASH, it doesn’t. It really doesn’t. You don’t see me using my mental illness as an excuse for my actions, because I actually step the fuck up and take responsibility for shit I’ve caused. My mental illness does not define me. There’s more to me than that. You need to realize that your fake-ass autism isn’t an excuse for you to be a fucking asshole to the people around you, and that your actions do have consequences. Stop blaming others for shit you’ve caused, stop calling people jackasses when it’s YOU who’s insulting people and twisting the truth, and for the love of God tell your white knights of friends to shut the FUCK up if they don’t know all the details of a situation.

i was technically diagnosed albeit in a nontraditional fashion (a psych at our middleschool was the one who diagnosed me) and i have never defined myself solely by my autism nor have i used it as an excuse for my fuck ups, ive literally apologized and stopped doing the things i did since the blu incident, i recognize i fucked up there and i apologized and i havent done the whole lying out of anxiety thing since, also my white knights of friends??? YOURE the one coming into MY inbox to tell me how shit i am after i blocked blu i literally just want this to be over leave me alone dude

Alright, so now that we’re done talking about YOU, let’s talk about your fandoms. You like Osomatsu-San. Okay, that’s fine. What’s not fine is how FUCKING obsessive you are about it. There’s nothing wrong with liking something and being attached to characters, making art of it, having a blog, reblogging it, talking about it, that’s okay. That’s okay! But you? You fucking hold the characters so close and act like they’re your own characters. You get upset when something doesn’t go your way in the show. This was evidenced by how many times you’ve complained about episodes (guess where? upset.txt) after they’ve come out. That anon about the straight joke? You got so heated over that, didn’t you? Saying Chibita was “out of character”, BITCH, what do you fucking know? He’s not your goddamn character! The writers will write him however the fuck they want. It’s THEIR fucking show, it’s THEIR fucking characters, and it’s THEIR decision of who does what and who acts like what. There’s a VERY thick line between canon and fanon, and you can’t seem to distinguish that AT ALL. You merge your shitty headcanons with the canon universe, and when something doesn’t go your way, you FREAK THE FUCK OUT and go crying about it in your server or on your tags.

youre blowing that ONE FUCKING POST so out of proportion ive never complained abt ososan in upset.txt outside of MAYBE episode 4 and that would be because of the NONCONSENSUAL SEX SCENE i KNOW my headcanons arent canon i KNOW that the chibita/snowtoko complaint was MINOR and i fucking LIKED THAT EPISODE A LOT!! i didnt cry i just felt that based on how the staff have characterized chibita up until that point it was a little jarring to see him react like he did THAT IS ALL! what the fuck!! how would you even know what i talk about in my servers!! youre obviously misinformed my guy!!!

Lemme tell you something, Sombre: Karabita isn’t canon. OH SHIT! I SAID IT BOYS! THAT’S A FUCKING CURSE ISN’T IT!! No, sorry, sit the fuck down and suck those tears up, because it’s true. It’s not canon. It isn’t. You grasp at straws to say it is, but it isn’t. Chibita wore somehing blue? Oh shit, it’s Karamatsu! He’s clearly in love with him! No, sorry honey, that’s not how it works. Of course Chibita would feel pity on him and let him stay with him (ep 24), because who wouldn’t? That doesn’t mean they’re dating. Karamatsu may be the most bisexual person ever, but he sure as hell isn’t dating Chibita (at least, not canonly). Speaking of Chibita, you need to stop acting like any other Matsu x Chibita ship is literal hell. They’re not. There are some decent ones out there, and although they’re rarepairs by now, they’re a lot better quality than the Karabita bullshit you spew out.

me saying karabita is canon is a joke, and my disdain for non karabita matsubita ships is based half in coping reasons and half in chibita has literally no chemistry with the other matsus and seems to not like any of the other bros at all whereas hes actually shown some level of tolerance or interest in karamatsu

While we’re on the subject of non-canon ships, Atsutodo isn’t canon either. Fuck’s sake, they were on screen together for 10 damn seconds. Yes, I’m aware there’s card art of Atsushi and Todomatsu having a meal together, but they’re very clearly not dating if Todomatsu is still going out with girls and holding their hands etc. Oh, speaking of Todomatsu: Your trans hc of him? Generic as fuck. He’s not trans. Call me a transphobe, I don’t give a shit, but he’s not trans. Look at the -kun animes. He’s a guy. Where in his life would he have magically been a girl and then go right back to a guy? The time span between a 12 year old and a 21 year old isn’t long enough to allow you time to transition. In that day and age, it wasn’t even acceptable to be transgender. So none of the Matsus are trans, get that out of your head. Get those “autism hcs” out of your head too, because I KNOW you hc Kara and Jyushi as autistic (and I’m aware you used to headcanon Ichimatsu as autistic too, but we’ll get to that later).

i know atsutodo isnt canon i never said it was all the “x ship is canon” jokes are about karabita and theyre jokes dude, i just think atsutodo would be cute. why the fuck do you even care about my trans hcs?? theyre HEADCANONS they dont HURT ANYONE and like dude there are trans children out there….. stop being a fuckface about simple headcanons what the fuck.

Lemme tell ya something. Karamatsu sure as hell isn’t autistic. Literally the only reason you headcanon him as such is because you yourself claim to be autistic and because “uwu he’s m fav,,,, i relate to him,,,”. Also, I realize “jyushi is autistic xD” headcanons are common, but JESUS FUCK it’s time for them to die. Jyushimatsu is just bizarre in and out, it’s his personality and his way of life. If you’re gonna hc him as autistic for his personality, you’re obviously ignoring his physical abilities. What about that time he cloned himself? Grew different sizes? What about how he seemingly has no bones (tentacle arms)? But oh, let’s ignore that, because he’s always got a smile on his face and he has a childish personality so DURR HE’S OBVIOUSLY AUTISTIC. Also, you used to headcanon Ichimatsu as autistic, but as soon as you started hating him you threw that headcanon out the window. This is PROOF you only headcanon your favorite characters as autistic, and that’s some of the STUPIDEST shit ever.

literally just let people headcanon what they want if it doesnt hurt anyone, im sure in canon theyre not autistic but this is HEADCANON. and is this also to imply that just because a character can do bizarre thing with theyre body they cant also be autistic?? what the fuck does that have to do with anything??? and i didnt throw my autistic ichi hc out the window because “i hate him” i dont even hate him im indifferent to him i hate his fanon incarnation because its stupidly out of character and one note, i also didnt even drop the autism hc for him i feel like he definitely 100% could be autistic but i just dont think about it as much because i think about other characters more than i think about him

Oh yeah, I’d love to hear why you hate Ichimatsu so much? Shut up, I know it’s because “hhhh he abuses kara” but that’s fucking wrong. Listen, Ichimatsu isn’t exactly my favorite either but at least I don’t make him out to be a fucking asshole to Karamatsu. All of the brothers have treated Karamatsu like shit at one point or another. They’ve thrown things at him, ditched him, called him names, ignored him, it’s a fucking trope in the anime that Karamatsu was the one to get hurt. Sure, season 2 has kinda turned that around, but the whole “Ichimatsu is bitter to Karamatsu” thing is the dynamic between them. They DO have moments where they’re not onto each other, though. See how Ichimatsu followed Karamatsu into the woods? Remember the episode where they switched clothes? They didn’t kill each other neither of those times, did they? And yes, I’m aware Ichimatsu has hurt Karamatsu at times (the bazooka, I think smacking?) but he doesn’t LITERALLY ABUSE HIM. You don’t see him kicking him around, PUNCHING HIM, HITTING HIM, EVERY SECOND OF HIS LIFE. Yes, he calls him names. Yes, he’s threatened to hurt him (“I’ll kill you, Shittymatsu.”) but he’s been stopped or HAS stopped every time. If he really was so intent on hurting Karamatsu, don’t you think he wouldn’t ignore his brothers and hurt Karamatsu anyway? But no, he didn’t, and he stopped each time he grabbed Kara. That’s because the entire “Ichimatsu despises Karamatsu” thing is a GAG in the show. It’s meant to be funny. It’s not meant for your negative ass to label it as abuse and then boohoo about it every time Ichimatsu is mentioned. That’s not a valid reason to hate a character, hell, even Karamatsu’s seiyuu said in a Doramatsu CD that Karamatsu was just comic relief. And if you’re gonna look for a reason why Ichimatsu dislikes Karamatsu, consider the hinted and well-supported reason: Ichimatsu “hates” Karamatsu because of how confident he is and how he can always be himself. Ichi is insecure. Ichi is antisocial. Kara, on the other hand, can express himself and show how “cool” he is. Consider that Ichimatsu wants to be more like him, hence why he said he’s the “number one Karamatsu boy” in that one episode.

okay this is just ridiculous i DONT HATE ICHIMATSU and i KNOW its a GAG, i KNOW they get along sometimes i KNOW all the brothers have shat on kara I KNOW THIS abuse takes many forms though and in a more serious anime the way the bros treat kara would probably be depicted as abusive, but it isnt a serious anime so its a gag and i understand that thats FINE, did you even watch the ichimatsu incident? ichimatsu got plenty fucking pissed off at karamatsu and stuff and the “number one karamatsu boy” nonsense was him being concerned about how karamatsu might think of him as such not him calling himself a karamatsu boy, and yes i know the whole ichi wants to be cool and confident like kara thing i understand that but even so that wouldnt logically excuse his bitterness toward kara but again, its a gag anime so its whatever, youre also ignoring the facet of his disdain towards kara being in part because kara is also vain and ichi finds this annoying and thinks kara is fake as hell because of it there was something in i think a magazine where the bros are all asked what they think of eachother i think and i THINK ichi said something along the lines of him not liking kara because he fakes being nice for the sake of his own ego or something (which is likely ichi just having a negative image of kara rather than that actually being the case because i dont think karas that smart but who knows i dont!!) so like y’know

In conclusion, I would like to say you need to shut the fuck up and chill with your fandoms and headcanons, realize headcanons aren’t canon, and also get your head out of your ass. You’ve done so many wrong things and need to stop blaming them on others. You’ve lied, insulted, and put the blame on so many of your old friends, you’ve avoided people who you deem “toxic” (simply because they have different opinions than you), you think people can’t form their own opinions, and you don’t back up your friends when they’re getting shittalked. You act like an assoholic brat and cannot, for the life of you, open up your eyes and see this. You’re lucky the dicktwats on your server are there for you, because if they weren’t, you’d be all alone, and honestly? That seems pretty good at this point. Fits you perfectly.

i know headcanons arent canon, i know ive lied (though ive really only insulted people who were dicks to my friends and maybe blu which probably not a good thing but i mean hes also insulted me so?? even i guess??) and i regret that, im more honest now and try my best to show kindness to people who have done me and my friends no wrong, ive only ever put blame on blu i literally dont blame anyone else for anything, i dont avoid people i deem “toxic” i avoid people i dont get along with because if i dont get along with them then theres no reason to talk to them im gonna let them live their lives, of course i think people can form their own opinions what on earth are you talking about???? when did i not back up a friend when they got shit talked?? i dont remember that but id like to deeply apologize if i ever did, unless youre talking about when someone in my server insults blu over ykno… him not leaving me alone and harassing me when ive done nothing but mind my own business since the incident, then while it was kind of uncomfortable for me because i felt it was the wrong thing to do i couldnt exactly muster the words to protest it. im very sorry you feel that way im always trying to improve and i like to think that im making some level of progress in being more sensitive and kind to those around me. but also dont insult my friends they didnt do shit weve been minding our own goddamn business this entire time blu is the one who started it back up again.

Now, go back to crying in your server and soaking in self-deprication, fuckass.

yknow i get the feeling i know who this is but i dont want to jump to any conclusions so, uh, okay! see ya my dude :0c

#shut up sombre #drama / #heres to hoping this is the last thing i get abt this bc this is jus really dumb and im tryna move on over here #ask to tag / #submission

[d-erica]

worth living

Life is as beautiful as you can possibly make it out to be.Life is very much taken for granted. But everyones perspective is different. We can deny it as much as we want, but the ugly truth is that at some point almost everyone has sat in their bed in complete darkness and hoped and prayed for a better or just in general a different life. But we didnt magically get that now did we? No. This post is primarily my past perspective on life. I dont know if anyone else has felt or at least thought in this same way, but this is my input. Now I am not going to sit here and write lies saying that my life was consistent of good or of bad. Childhood was really weird and awkward for me. My memory has blocked alot of those earlier days out primarily because I never learned the basics of being in touch with my emotions so yes in elementary i had bestfriends, but what everyone else felt it seemed kind of impossible and foreign to me. I didnt understand the meaning of hugs and of saying the words ‘’ I love you’’. Saying the word ‘’bye’’ always rubbed me off the wrong way because I knew at a young age that when i said  that word to my dad before he was stationed overseas in the air force that that potentionally could be the last time that Id be considered ‘’daddys little girl’’. I knew too soon that things couldnt be perfect forever so I already started putting up a wall trying to  protect myself from any harm or abandonment. I grew up with the same routine all the way up to high school avoiding certain interactions and any type of physical affection. I came off as nonchalant or as alot of people would refer to me as ‘’emotionless’’. I knew for a fact that I had emotions and some type of heart deep down inside of me somewhere. My comedy made up for the missing aspects of me i guess. At least for awhile. Fast forward to sophmore year of high school. Something in me changed, it was like a switch. Sixteen years of built up anger, disgust, sadness all came and took control over my entire mind,body,and soul. The funny, lively side of me people once loved changed, people saw the drastic change. I knew they knew something was wrong, and alot of people tried their best to uplift me but no matter what they said. I was still me, I was still the only one in my head. I made myself think and feel like I was all in this alone and that i couldnt get pulled out of this rut. I was just so bitter to the world, just so over basically everything. For someone who used to cry twice a year, i started to cry like five times a day everyday of each month in that time frame. These feelings went on for such a long time that I started to hate myself for me being so uncontrollably sad and weak all of the time. My grades in school went down and down. My family life was at the peak of being the worse thing Ive ever had to see. I think i was just overall disgusted with the way I allowed myself to bury myself in my bed and my feelings without seeking or reaching out for help. During the time frame, I lost all ability or energy to go to school, sleep at night causing my extreme insomnia even now to this day, perform my best at my job, be happy in public settings with friends, leave my room to show my face to my family, and mainly stopped eating and drinking appropriately, I lost like fifty pounds just during the time of being so numb and hopeless. My bones became brittle so I could sometimes barely stand without feeling like falling over. This basically just gave people bigger and stronger than me the green light to sexually abuse and psychically abuse me. Everyday it seemed like another thing to break me. Months went by and I just grew tired. Absolutely tired, exhausted, literally depression won over and over again. My mind shifted from feeling utterly lonely to developing to mental nightmares. No matter how much trauma Ive witnessed or been through, my thoughts are what ruined me, No one else did that to me. Only thing that went through my head was how and what was the easiest way i could possibly die, I didnt want this life. Obviously the odds werent in my favor. Obviously I was a lost cause because no matter what loved ones said or did it didnt stick with me throughout my whole day. Therapy didnt help probalby because I sat there stubborn for two hours with blank eyes, they offered prescriptions that seemed like placebo. ‘’ Here take this when you wake up every morning so you can start off with a clear mind.’’ Yall know how hard it is to look in the face of a therapist you had since seventh grade and hold back the words ‘’ Mrs. Witherspoon I dont plan on waking up in the morning, Im really tired you know.’’ I never told her that and couldnt bring myself to say ‘’bye’ because it brought me back to childhood where I knew itd be the last time. I wrote my notes to individual people. I knew what action I was going to take that night to finally put things and myself to rest. I was on the edge of putting myself at peace then like in a split second difference I got a ft call that I didnt answer. Seeing the name of the person made me stop in my tracks though and something told me to check my messages and look at the previous loving paragraphs Ive ever gotten. I just could not continue. I knew the people in my life didnt deserve the heartache and confusion that would be left after my self afflicted passing. I burned the handwritten goodbye notes and went to sleep . I vowed that I wouldnt put myself in that situation ever again. Yes, things in my life didnt magically improve but I did try to look at things in a different manner. Months went past and I wasnt in as a bad place anymore, but I just wasnt fit for some relationships anymore because it was just unfair to give half of me all the time when people did nothing but give me love and sense of patience all the time. I guess there was alot of pressure to be perfect and it sort of started messing with my mind seeing everyone happy and wondering why Im not i guess. People definitely deserve better than what I ever had to offer, I wish nothing but the best for anyone who has stuck with me in the times around a year ago. Fast forward it is the middle of senior year and I am really happy right now. Ive gained alittle weight, I feel beautiful in my own skin, my grades are so muc better. I should get at least three to four cords at graduation from my honor society clubs here this upcoming spring .Isolating myself in a positive way and letting go of bad situations and coping mechanisms was the best decision I have done. Lately Ive been taking one day at a time. This transformation definitely wasnt overnight, it was like a two year process. Even though some things from those times are still hard to think about, im forever grateful for the hardships and obstacles. Life experiences definitely has shaped me into the young woman I am now, I was kind of mature before everything but this definitely pushed me to see clearly and handle things with more thought and overall process of how and when to react. I used to pray that I could have a diiferent life and even though this is not exactly what I meant, It is still really good at the moment. Ive reconnected with some people from the past, and Ive also attracted more people recently who have come my bestfriends, Things do look up eventually. Life is truly what YOU make it.

#selfworth #recovery #mystory

[progressivleythin]

whos to blame

whos to blame for the reasons you drink

me

whos to blame for the reasons youve screamed about how you hate her

it was me i was once again the reason.

i dont want to keep going, i want to end it so bad but ive people i wanna see

you tell me im being dilusioinal but i remember seeing you threaten to leave this house if i keep doing that

i was simply laying down by my dad at the time. simply laying down smiling,,happy

shes a child mom my sister yelled i watched from the top of the stairs wondering what was happening. i was four or five

at 13 i witnessed or heard persay my dad finally beat you in front of me. you threw his phone you were both drunk so i was scared to call 911 as id have to live with his mom.

at 14 i realized my dad was a piece of shit but you mom, you stayed golden to me because you were on my side most

still. at 14 my dad punched me for the first time while screaming about how disrespectful id been to him i was simply walking away from him to keep from bursting into tears. he came two days later apologizing saying he cried at work about hitting me.

nearing the end of age 14 you had a fight with him. he was gonna leave and i didnt mind ive been wanting him to since i was around nine maybe?

he kept slamming doors and id chosen to mock him out of anger. bad choice as itd lead to your constant wish for death sofia. “you know what!? shut the fuck up sofia, its your fault its all because of you that me and your mom are always fucked up. if you werent here wed be fine but you and your fucking ungrateful ass keep getting in the way. im fighting it right now but you dont know how much i wish i could beat your ass right now for what YOU did to us”

thats when it clicked..youve never cared about me all along. and my fear of my dad peaked that day and my suicidal thoughts took control i relapsed that day after nearly two years clean! are you proud? you were both drunk and he admitted to his thoughts of abuse to me while you hid away in your bathroom “cleaning” to which i found out meant doing cocaine and smoking weed. i sat completely straight faced listening to him say that and worse trying to shw i wasnt weak but that one tear left my eye and i knew it was over im never gonna be stronger than the fucking hate from my “parents”. that night i tried suffocating myself before bed because i thought itd be better if i was gone.

at fourteen years old you led me to my first suicide attempt,or second if you consider the time i took four ibuprofen pills “because of my headache”.

im fifteen now and nearly cried tonight on the way home because you screamed fuck you to dad and i was scared hed hit you or me in front of the baby. or maybe hed decide to turn into oncoming traffic and end us all. that fears only been growing since and its only been four hours maybe? i nearly cried in front of you both because the baby knew what happened and wanted to cry too.

thank you parents! for showing your child how happy you are to have them in your life.

to anyone currently reading this ive only listed some of the worst. im not abused im not treated as a slave im simply treated as a human im happy when im not around them but im ok i have my older siblings to save me if times get rough.

to my mom if you ever find this i wanna say fuck you but i fucking care about you too much to mean it. i constantly think youre there for me but its because ive tried to forget the moments youve said bad about me.

and my dad i have nothing i want to say to you. no thank yous none at all not even a fuck you because itd mean i care enough to waste my breath. you try but i wont let you back in no matter what.

to my brother.. the only one whos helped me most i truly love you more than my own life! id take anybullet for you okay? youve been more of a parent to me than mom and dad and i thank you more than anything for that i love you so much so so so much franco too. i havent ended my life because of you and im truly grateful for you youre my angel and i cant live without you were both pretty broken after all. i hope you find yourself soon and i find my happy soon. i really really do love you okay? you shaped me into most of the person i am now and i cant imagine not having you. id probably be dead because you know how to make me feel happy. im crying most while writing to you because its true i cant be unhappy with you. thank you so much brother so much youre an angel with your own problems and you still take time to listen to me angrily rant about mom and dad.

to franco. youre three ive known you for a while and im glad i can. im also staying alive for you i want you to remember me as a great older sister rather than an aunt. youre like my little angel too..one that bothers me enough to get out of my room or enough to laugh genuinely inlove you and your dad so so so so so much youre both the light of my life im so truly grateful for youre presence in my life

to my sister. were not as close as sisters should be. im closer with my brother but i have amazing memories with you i hope we have more dude. ive had some deep convos with you maybe not like my brother and me but enough to know how your relationship is and im glad you trust me with that info. i love you so so so so so much too i hope you have an amazing future. i hope we get closer soon otherwise idk who ill come out to first

to my closest cousins. im sorry most of you didnt find this out sooner im sorry for being so awkward with every interaction we have for constantly fucking things up. i feel like an annoyance constantly so thank you for putting up with my shit.

my internet friends ive never met any of you but thanks to you guys too even the most recent ones :) some of you really listen and helped me through some dark shit.

to anna, the first person id ever r e a l l y dated. weve never met and we dated and yeah it didnt seem like it but it feels nice saying i have dated someone even if it was barely anything physical. you truly have heard my nearly darkest thoughts ive kept most because i dont wanna be a burden. you fit with the lil gaurdisn angel group too, youve helped me alot and were both pretty fucking fucked up people. idk what my life would be with out you. you mean alot to me maybe not as much as my brother as he has the highest “score” so far but its near that.

to keana and amaya. im fucking sorry for constantly speaking about my fucking weight to you guys especially you amaya youre so fucking young and ive already shown you eating disorders i hope you never have these thoughts. keana i feel the same i gotta get annoying to you at some point im sorry

to past me this is your “rough draft” maybe? for a suicide note. im not killing myself i just wanna get it out.

once again to my brother your tribute made me cry most dont tell me i dont care for you. you mean so much to me youre really keeping me alive by alot okay? keep it up big bro please i cant do this without you i know youre as broken as me somewhere youre doing great and youre gonna make it i hope i do too.

10.06.17