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#jess it's a delight to work with you :D
cardsharps · a year ago
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for #spnprideweek day 1: coming out + flags
↳ summary: cas tells sam a secret that he hasn’t (really) told anybody else. surprisingly, sam has one too.  PRIDE series | gen, sam & cas | word count: 1.7k
[READ ON AO3]
Sam’s grimacing a little at the grease from the fries on Cas’ plate. Cas would usually make a comment, here, about Sam keeping his eyes on his own paper, or that it isn’t nearly as bad as the veggie burger sitting on his plate at Sam’s behest. This is the recompense, Cas wants to say, but his mouth is dry and no words are coming out even if he wants them to.
Accompanying the inability to speak is the twisting feeling in his gut that won’t even allow him to pick up the burger. The smell is too much, too, and Cas hates to admit it but it’s probably the grease, so he sits back a little against the peeling seat of the booth to calm his nerves.
It’s just Sam. He can do this. It’s only that this is the first time he’s telling anyone, and that definitely ups the stakes a little.
Well, that’s somewhat of a lie. Cas had told the nice woman at the grocery store check out last week when he’d seen her little pin on her work uniform and asked where he could get one. 
He hadn’t actually bought one, of course, but Cas eyed the small bin full of brightly colored pins on the way out, convincing himself it was stupid to get back in line again for something so small and inexpensive. Still, he’d thought about it on the drive back to the Bunker, and that night in his bed, and the full week following, up until now. 
Now, Sam was looking at him with concern, and wiping his mouth in that way that means he’s about to get serious.
“Is everything alright?” he asks, pointedly looking down at Cas’ loaded plate. He’d barely taken a bite, except for a few nibbles of his admittedly greasy fries. And it was weird because since becoming human, Cas' appetite had grown considerably, much to Dean's delight.
And—Dean. That's what this was all about, wasn't it? Sure, it was more than just Dean, it was all the humans that had made Cas' body ache like it hadn't before, had made him think of what it means to be in this vessel—his body—and be attracted to other...humans.
It was odd. In hindsight, things in Heaven had been so much easier in this regard. Cas had spent most of his life clueless to the capabilities of human attraction, and then he met Dean and it all came crashing down around him. Only then, Cas was ignoring it. He was facing the other way, because though he felt human, he wasn't. Not really.
But everything is different now.
Cas clears his throat.
"Well," he starts, "no. I am feeling what I believe you’d call...anxiety. My stomach hurts, I find I'm unable to eat, a-and my hands are—"
"Cas," Sam interrupts. Shaking. Cas' hands are shaking.
Sam's fully set his fork and knife down now, hands clasped together on the edge of the table. "Talk to me."
Cas licks his dry lips.
"It’s not...it isn’t a big deal, really,” and yet Cas can feel his heart hammering in his chest. He sucks in a breath. “But I’m, uh. I wanted to tell you that...I like men.”
Sam’s expression doesn’t change, but he blinks at Cas once from across the table.
“Okay.”
Cas raises an eyebrow, pulse slowing down a little with his next exhale. “Okay?”
Maybe it was that simple, and Cas was worrying over nothing. It’s just...this feels like it should be bigger. Earth-shattering. Like Sam should either hug him or tell him he never wants to speak to Cas again.
Instead, he just shrugs, picks up his fork and pushes bits of his salad around his plate.
But then Cas’ gaze moves to Sam’s face and...Sam’s frowning. Cas feels his heart thumping hard again, waiting for the ball to drop. It feels a little like when Dean sat him down to “talk,” right after he lost his powers, and, well. Cas knew how that had ended. He braces himself for the worst, schools his features to something more neutral.
“I’m,” Sam clears his throat, “I’m sorry you got nervous over all of that. I-I get that coming out is...” he laughs, “usually a bigger deal, but. You don’t have to worry with me, you know? I get it.”
That makes Cas pause. “You...do?”
Now Sam’s looking at him, eyes a little wide, but he works his jaw and gets the words out. “Yeah. Uh... well I guess now’s a good a time as any to tell you.”
“Tell me what?”
The fork is set back down again. The bell over the diner door jingles. 
“In college...you know about Jess,” Sam says, jogging Cas’ memory. He knows, so he nods and Sam continues, “Well we uh. We actually met in a Gender Studies class. I thought, ‘pff, easy A,’ but it was actually way more complex than I originally thought, so she kind of...tutored me.” Cas raises an eyebrow, and Sam rolls his eyes.
“Actually tutored me. Whatever. Point is, I learned a lot—‘cause she was a great teacher—and...not just about the class, but about myself, too.” 
Cas nods slowly, beginning to catch Sam’s drift. “Okay...”
Despite his tone, Sam’s posture stiffens a little, like he’s uncomfortable, or not really used to this type of conversation. Cas does his best to relax into his seat to ease him, unfolding his arms.
“What I’m saying is,” Sam shrugs, “I’m...not...cis. Like, I don’t....I’m not um, a guy, I guess. Well, sort of. I’m non-binary.”
Cas is silent for a second, mulling it over in his head. Eventually it becomes long enough for Sam to say, “Uh...you know what? You can forget it, man—”
“No!” Cas says, almost knocking over his plate in the process. The silverware clatters as it falls onto the table, and Sam flinches a little. “I was just thinking...I want to apologize if anything I’ve said about your gender has ever made you uncomfortable, or if you—”
Sam’s out-facing palm makes Cas stutter to a stop. There’s a weird guilt settling in the pit of his stomach, and the anxiety that he’d thought was gone is back full force again. Cas tears off a piece of his napkin.
“Cas, dude. Calm down,” Sam laughs. He takes a deep breath, and Cas follows his lead. They breathe in and out together for a beat, and when Cas feels fairly calmer, Sam pushes both of their plates aside.
“There’s no need to apologize for something you couldn’t have known about,” he starts, shaking his head a little, “and you haven’t done anything wrong, either. I still use he and him pronouns, and sometimes they and them. And besides, it’s not like I go around telling people. Especially with, uh, the way I was raised...I’ve been hesitant, you know? It was great in college, people were really supportive when I told them. But then when I started hunting again...I don’t know. 
“My dad...uh. I tried telling him, once. Didn’t go too well, so I didn’t try it again. I think that’s why Dean...” he shakes his head, frowning down at the table again. “It wasn’t easy, growing up the way we did. You could probably understand that.”
Cas nods. Under the table, his napkin is shredded into bits. 
“I do. I think, in a way, I also understand being trans.” Sam jerks their head up, intrigued. 
“Angels...we don’t experience gender the same way humans do. In fact, the concept is entirely nonexistent in Heaven. So, when we take vessels...”
“You’re essentially defining yourself,” Sam says in awe. It makes Cas smile to see them back in their element, leaning forward a little to listen better. “I never thought about it that way, not really.”
Cas shrugs. “I’m not sure all of my siblings did, either. Many chose according to which vessel would best suit them and their form. That was definitely a factor in me choosing Jimmy, but I also found the thought of looking like a human man...greatly appealing.”
Sam’s nodding now, gaze darting to different parts of the table. Cas knows that means they’re mentally crafting an essay right about now, or thinking of what books in the Bunker might further help in their research about it.
“Wow,” he says, “that’s—I mean. Wow, Cas. Thanks for telling me that. And uh, the other thing.”
“Oh. Thank you.”
There’s a comfortable silence between them now, and Cas takes it as an opportunity to sip from his slightly-melted iced tea. 
“So,” Sam starts again slowly, “have you told Dean?”
Cas sucks in another deep breath, and Sam nods. “Yeah,” he says, “me neither.”
It surprises Cas a little that Sam hasn’t told him, and he expresses that with an inquiring eyebrow. 
Sam purses his lips and dodges the unspoken question. “Dean’s not a bad guy. You probably know that better than anyone except me. You know he’d still love you if you told him.”
Cas’ heart pounds at the mention of the word. When Sam notices, he feels his ears begin to heat with a blush. 
“Oh,” Sam smiles, “that. I figured. For a while now, but I didn’t wanna say anything.”
Cas tries to will away the heat on his face. He doesn’t say anything, so Sam leaves it be.
The waitress gives them a worried look when she brings the check, eyeing their barely touched plates. They both smile apologetically, insisting that their food was “great” when she whisks it away.
On their way back home, Cas asks if Sam can stop at the store. They don’t ask anything more than, “we need groceries that bad?” and Cas dips inside. He knows this is just like any other grocery run—going in and out as quick as possible with the things they need—yet his heart hammers all the same when he stops in front of the bin near the door. The same employee from last week is working on lane six, and he’s sure to check out at that one with his goods. She gives him a knowing smile.
Cas flops into the passenger seat, a little out of breath.
“That was fast,” Sam starts to say, before noticing Cas’ lack of grocery bags. “Dude. What d’you buy, air?”
Instead, Cas brandishes two brightly colored pins. Sam tentatively takes the yellow, white, purple, and black one, eyes wide.
“For me?” they ask.
Cas smiles, running his thumb over the rainbow one in his hand. 
“For both of us,” he says.
[@spnprideweek]
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axolotllumberjack · a year ago
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Lena was just finishing writing up her daily plan when Jess’ voice crackled over the intercom.
“Miss Luthor, the reporter from CatCo is here.”
Lena took a deep breath, letting her professional mask slip into place, ready to start the day. “You can let them in, Jess.”
She stood as the door to her office opened and a woman with soft blonde curls and a yellow sundress entered. She smiled brightly at Lena despite the slight nervousness behind it. Lena found her own polite smile reflecting a little of Kara’s sunshine back as she approached.
“Kara Danvers, CatCo magazine.” She moved her hand as if about to offer a handshake and Lena’s heart rate ticked up a little with dread, but Kara seemed to change the course of her movement and ended up fiddling with her glasses instead.
“Lena Luthor,” she introduced herself and getured for Kara to sit at one of the chairs across from her desk.
Kara pulled a notebook and pen from her bag. “So, Miss Luthor, mind if I ask you some questions about your latest tech?”
Kara was kind and sweet and seemed to be genuinely interested in her work, not just looking for some new angle to paint Lena as the next terrible Luthor. She listened and asked questions off of what Lena had been saying rather than just reading the ones Lena could see written in her notebook. She seemed to light up a little more every time Lena let her professional mask slip a fraction and showed some of the enthusiasm she normally tried to keep bottled for when she was alone in her lab. Kara Danvers had an uncanny way of drawing out her unmasked self until she was rambling about her work and talking with excited hand gestures that Lillian always chided her for but she could never quite suppress.
The interview was over before she knew and Jess was popping her head into the office with barely concealed surprise at the fact that Lena had almost let it run over to escort Kara out again.
But she had a feeling it wouldn’t be the last time she saw Kara Danvers.
———
Kara’s article came out a week later and Lena filled her office with flowers in thanks. Kara called her within an hour.
They arranged to go to brunch together which turned into another brunch the next week, and then a lunch date, and then trying out a new cafe, and then more interviews. Lena found herself adding calls after work with Kara into her routine and messaging Sam about how often was appropriate to text a new friend. (Sam was no help but Lena refused to give in to the urge to google it.)
Kara saved her as Supergirl and it wasn’t long before she accidentally revealed her identity and Lena sheepishly told her she already knew.
It was a few weeks before Kara visited her office without the pretence of an interview.
Lena was reading through a contract when there was a knock at her office door and Kara walked in with a paper bag.
“Miss Danvers! Miss Danvers!”
Kara looked back down the hallway with a frown as Jess hissed her name, rushing into the office after her.
Jess turned to Lena apologetically. “I’m so sorry Miss Luthor, I was only gone for a minute to get a coffee and she must have slipped in.”
Kara looked to Lena in slight panic. “Oh no am I interrupting?”
Lena capped her pen and stood with a placating smile. “It’s quite alright, Kara. I can take a short break.”
Kara couldn’t hide the hopeful way her eyes lit up but she still asked, “are you sure?”
Lena tried to counter the way her heart strained slightly as she glanced at her timed schedule with a bright smile, ignoring Jess’ mildly concerned look. “Of course.”
Kara stayed and ate amazing donuts with her while they talked and laughed for over an hour. The reminder of work was constantly in her mind but she pushed it aside to prolong the wonderful experience of sharing donuts with Kara Danvers. Until Jess informed her she had her next meeting and Kara left and the stress of her messed up schedule came crashing back down, piling up as the day went on and each item on her list for the day got pushed back or rearranged.
It was nearing 10pm when Kara found her at her desk with her head in her hands, desperately trying to ignore her headache and not let her emotions overwhelm her.
“Lena?” Supergirl landed softly on her balcony, stepping gently into her office and crouching down beside her. “Lena is everything okay?”
Lena just screwed her eyes shut tighter, unable to do anything else.
“Lena, can you take some deep breaths for me?” Kara carefully opened her desk drawer and took out the noise cancelling headphones as she softly counted breaths. She gently placed them over Lena’s ears and the incessant humming of her computer and the lights and the wind faded.
Lena slowly removed her hands from her head and blinked, still feeling sluggish.
“Will you let me take you home?”
She nodded, holding out her arms and letting Kara scoop her up into a surprisingly strong and calming grip. She let her head rest in the crook of Kara’s neck and just breathed as they flew back to her penthouse.
Lena found herself curled up on her couch, wrapped in a blanket, as she began to come back to herself.
Kara wandered over from the kitchen, gently setting two mugs of tea on the coffee table and sitting down on the other end of the couch. Lena removed the headphones and murmured a quiet ‘thank you’ as she picked up her mug.
She could tell Kara was looking at her with worry. “Did I make things hard by turning up at your office today?”
Lena stared down at her mug, heart clenching. “It’s not that I didn’t want to see you! Or that I didn’t really enjoy the donuts or anything…”
Kara sighed, shuffling a little closer. “Lena, it’s okay. I want to respect your boundaries but you have to let me know what they are so that I can.”
Lena swirled her tea in the mug as she figured out what she wanted to say. “I don’t like it when my plans change. I really like seeing you, but I like to know when. It makes me stressed to have to rearrange my plans when I’ve got a sequence of how to do them already in my head.”
“Okay.” Kara smiled softly. “Thank you for letting me know.”
———
They scheduled in visits after that and Lena found herself smiling at her desk, looking forward to each and every one of them, thinking about all the things she had to tell Kara that day.
Their lunches increased to at least twice a week and movie nights became a regular fixture too. Some evenings Kara would come over and they would just sit in comfortable silence, doing their own things, happy to be in each others’ presence.
Lena found her smiles growing and her heart fluttering around Kara. Kara could hear her affect if her shy smiles each time it happened were anything to go by.
Kara was the only other person allowed in Lena’s private lab. While Lena loved her visits down to R&D, she valued the organisation and quiet of her personal lab. Kara understood that and happily watched her work and listened to her excited explanations without interrupting.
Kara sat quietly, doodling in her notebook while Lena revised the code of one of her projects. She looked up when Lena grinned, tapping excitedly on the desk in front of the computer.
“Is the code working?” Kara stood from her seat to peer at the screen as it ran through a simulation of the code.
“Potentially.”
The program ended, perfectly completing its function, and Lena squealed in delight. She turned to Kara and threw her arms around her, basking in the deep pressure of Kara’s tight grip as she lifted her off the ground and spun her round.
“It worked!”
Kara put her down again, beaming at her. “You’re amazing, Lena.”
Lena’s heart skipped a beat and Kara’s eyes flicked down momentarily as if to track the noise, flicking back up with a blush just as quick.
Lena bit her lip, a light flush dusting her own cheeks. “Thank you.”
Kara’s eyes dipped down again, seeming to get stuck at her lips. Her voice was soft when she spoke. “Can I kiss you?”
Lena’s heart stopped all together as the air rushed from her lungs. “Yes.”
And for a moment the rest of the world seemed to melt away.
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dogmascutie · 7 months ago
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Hi Dee! 💖 I am wondering about Dogma’s first holiday season with the Corrie guard (or first with Babygirl). Do you think the guard sneaks in nice food, or tries to make or find little gifts? I know their days and shifts must go on, but I like to think they try to find some small moments to celebrate.
hi jess! i am sorry this is so late, but i wanted to answer before the holiday season ended! i know christmas doesn’t exist within the star wars universe, but i’m feeling self-indulgent, so let’s pretend it and life day are basically 1:1 as far as similarities! this is how i think dogma and babygirl, as well as the corries, would celebrate 🥰
so, first off, i imagine the clones traveling aboard starships and regularly seeing battle, may not celebrate life day! it probably varies from jedi to jedi how important the holiday is, and so one battalion’s general may make it a big deal where the next doesn’t celebrate it at all.
also, being that they’re often out in space and time works weird there, it’s probably forgotten about a lot of the time. what i’m saying is, up until his transfer to coruscant, dogma either straight up didn’t know what life day involved, or thought it was just a day where the meals in the mess were a little more festive. he wasn’t big on celebrations before umbara anyway, so even if the 501st did have a mini party on life day, he likely wasn’t participating/enjoying it
babygirl, meanwhile, bc again, this is self-indulgent, is obsessed with life day.
dogma doesn’t realize this is going to be a small problem for him (in the sense that he thinks he has to make it perfect for her bc he puts too much pressure on himself) until the holiday season actually starts, and she’s wearing holiday sweaters and singing carols and excitedly decorating her office and oh. oh no. his girlfriend is a life day nut and his understanding of life day is made up mostly of hardcase chasing the captain around with a poster of a holodrama star and mistletoe, insisting he has to kiss her.
he runs to lot and his other friends and lies only kind of badly about a hypothetical situation in which a man wants to make the holiday good for his girlfriend, but doesn’t know how. lot is delighted, bc, of course, lot is also a life day nut.
they spend the next week or two exhausted during their shifts bc half of their allotted sleeping time is spent watching life day themed holovids and catching dogma up on regular civvie traditions. dogma misses out on nights he could’ve spent with babygirl studying. i need to stress to you how goddamn panicked he is that he’s gonna mess this up somehow. babygirl doesn’t care. she figured he wasn’t familiar and just wanted to spend the time with him. they are a funny couple that are close to my heart.
anyway, when she finds out the lengths he went to understand, she prohibits him from making any attempt to give her a gift. the effort was far and above what most would do, and the way he tries to fulfill all her life day traditions means more to her than any gift could. when he gets a night off, they bake cookies and watch one of her absolute favorite holovids. that’s as crazy as it gets for those two, but it’s very sweet and loving, and, i think, in character.
the guard, however, they’re a different story.
unlike the battalions away at war, the men on the home-front are more familiar with civvie traditions and have experienced them more commonly. they don’t get off on the holiday or anything, bc the clones don’t get much of anything, but they do notice that things get cheerier, that people who would ordinarily be nasty to them are a little kinder, that locals send them home-cooked meals as thank yous for their service. it’s nice. it makes the corries warm up to the holidays quickly.
the guard doesn’t get particularly cozy with all civilians, but the ones they are cozy with (aka the ones they work with), they trust to decorate the detention center nicely and in general make the atmosphere warm and jolly. simple, small decorations, like handmade snowflakes and some tinsel here and there, but appreciated decorations nonetheless.
there is a small gift exchange. it’s voluntary and not at all required, and entirely organized by hound. the commanders yell at him that it’s too much pressure on top of his other duties, but for hound it’s a joy he doesn’t get often, doing something for fun for his brothers, so he insists on continuing the tradition.
the gifts are unusual and small, often handmade from scraps, but they’re very much appreciated by the brothers who participate. it’s a very sweet, quiet, and unknown-to-the-outside-world activity that the corries do. hound is very proud of this idea of his.
there are multiple parties every year around life day. fox and thire try to stop them - not bc they’re party poopers, but bc other battalions somehow always get invited, and it’s a goddamn mess every year. one time fox had to cure bly’s hangover via bacta tank. he’s never doing that shit again. jedi freak him out enough as it is - now aayla secura has his name on a hit list, fox is sure of it.
the parties are the part of the year most corries look toward to, including commanders thorn and stone. this obviously makes thire and fox’s work that much more difficult, bc when staples of the events are two of the commanders, the other two aren’t really being listened to. it causes arguments basically every single year.
it’s a lot of “i love you man” energy at the parties, just bros being bros and hugging and talking about old times and shit, but somehow it always gets out of hand no matter how hard anyone tries to put a lid on it. no one knows who invited the other battalions, or the handful of jedi who somehow show up, or the civilian dj who gets paid in exposure bc this is THE party of the year, but that person really needs to stop bc he’s screwing over everybody else, and, like, the reason it gets out of hand is bc of all these extra people, dude. we need to keep it just corries, okay?
(it’s lot. lot invites these extra people. he doesn’t mean to. he’s just very friendly.)
most of the refreshments are “donated” which is to say someone swipes them from a variety of big chain supermarkets. the way the clones see it, the republic isn’t doing much for them, so, why shouldn’t they get a treat? this is one aspect thire and fox don’t particularly try to put an end to.
overall, the holidays are beloved by the corries! they just don’t always know how to celebrate them in a responsible way. but when it comes to it, and they are a little gentler in their teasing, a little longer with their hugs on life day, they find the spirit of the season by appreciating each other 💞
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asphodelgame · a year ago
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hi jess!!! the update was absolutely superb :D i think ive replayed foa around. a quadrillion times! its absolutely delightful and id like to thank You for putting so much hard work into this <3333 i know myself and many others read the update and went “wow! i think i will sell my soul for this if :D” thank you so much and much love <33
Isaac! Thank youuuu! I'm always a little stunned to hear people like to replay it so much, but it makes writing all the variations and choosable scenes feel very worth it! <3
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subjectsix · a year ago
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Hey! I have been going through your blog and seeing your Control fics (they are wonderful!) Could you maybe rec some fics? (Yours and others' too if you want!) And maybe some Control blogs to follow? I am trying to get my bearings in the fandom here :)
aaaa thank you!!! ;o; ;u; and welcome!!! Control is such a blast and the community here is wonderful sekfjhsekjfh
I have some fic recs! honestly I have way more than I listed too akjshfakjhdf I tend to stick to oneshots, but there's some amazing fic writers out here I haven't mentioned, I defo recommend asking around or just going through AO3 to see what you find :D
separate but interacting systems is a oneshot/snapshot collection I really enjoy. Little glimpses of things in this universe :')
Around One Constant Is a really neat fic abt random employee POVs around the Hiss crisis!
sound like a needle is about Dylan meeting the Hiss for the first time and it makes me Ache™
so circles around so & Tribulations of the New Gerbil are both excellent fics, the first mind bending and lovely, and the second a little lighter in tone but still full of that New Weird™ vibe. any of their fics are [chef's kiss]
hope is a thing with feathers is a short but super delightful second person piece that I love dearly
What does the Former see? more of the New Weird vibe I love so dearly, about Former and who/what it is/was :]
Cohabitation is a good Darling fic about the events leading up to his discovery of Hedron
You're 11! is an incomplete fic that's more a set of connected oneshots that I hold dearly about kid Dylan and Jesse
laterna magica is WONDERFUL (though I haven't finished it yet shhhhh) and has a+ prose and dylan and jesse characterization :')
and if you'll allow me to rec a bit of my own,
A Fool's Errand has the "old guard" in it-- Trench, Marshall, and Darling-- and is a more light hearted glimpse into the fantastic mundane office work happening in the Bureau.
I'm Dreaming of a Non-Archetypal Holiday is another more lighthearted one of mine that features most of the "new" cast of Control
nearly all (but not quite) my other fics are Dylan-centric, so if you ever find urself wanting Dylan stuff... he's in my brain rent free ASKJDHAKJHD
as far as blogs go, @oldest-house is a great blog and hub for fans! you can find a lot of us through there I think! I feel bad tagging people bc I know my garbo memory will leave someone out and I'll feel bad, but you're bound to see them on the House's blog or in my Control tag! Or even in the notes of this post, perhaps? The community around this game is really sweet and amazing and I'm thankful for both the game and all these lovely people :')
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stranger-who-writes-fiction · 10 months ago
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Ah! There’s been a brief break in the schedule from hell! QUICK, LET’S GEEK OUT OVER Supergirl, episode 6x13, “The Gauntlet”, while we have the chance!
SPOILERS!
We jump right in with a Fortress visit (woo!) and Vita (Vida?) our resident Kryptonian witch!
And like...choices are being made with this performance. I’m...not entirely sure what those choices are, necessarily, but. Not mad about it! It’s a weird blend of funny and unsettling, which kinda works?
Especially given the overall tone of the episode.
Love that Kara’s like, ‘yeah, it’s magic.’ And Lena’s like, 
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Anyways! Vita lays down the ground rules for the McGuffin hunt, and then we’re off!
Definitely thought Dr. Lahr was a reference to Lesla-Lar, a Silver Age Supergirl villain (who kind of appeared in Superman & Lois? Like, in name only?) but nope! It’s a reference to Bert Lahr, the actor who played the Cowardly Lion in The Wizard of Oz, as per one of the writers of this episode.
(Which is neat b/c it ties in thematically with the whole totem plot and ALSO b/c that’s Kara’s favorite film!)
Love the bit where Nyxly was exasperated by heist movie genre conventions. XD
Love Nyxly in general, TBH.
Like. Peta Sergeant is killin’ it, both the wacky chaotic stuff and the more serious, emotional side. And. AND. It’s good and personal, between her and Kara. (And it gets even MORE personal in this episode but! I’m getting ahead of myself.)
Appreciate that the Alex and Kelly stuff at the tail end of the last episode was not a one-and-done! Kelly is still processing, and Alex is still giving her space to do so.
Chyler’s ‘Oh-kay’ was very cute.
New CGI CatCo shot? Maybe? Don’t think we’ve seen the building from that angle.
*GASP!* MY BOY. WILL.
PROCESSING HIS PTSD???? 
More good crumbs! I will take them!
Dear SG writers, re: David and Goliath: Not a slingshot. Just a sling.
But I understand that visually, that would not have worked for a prop, so. I will give it a pass. XD
Another shout out to the woman who brought her pet lizard to the science museum. 
Kara then zaps the artifact, and, in the words of Warehouse 13 agents, ‘everyone gets whammied.’ 
And then Brainy is possessed by Vita (natch) and apparently, ‘Are these his nipples?’ was a Jesse ad lib.
Bravo, sir. I laughed out loud.
(Honestly I laughed a lot during this episode. Just. Delightful performances all around!)
“I did not like that.” 
And then PILOT KARA?!?!?!?!?!?!
WITH SEASON ONE SCORE!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Also MAJOR PROPS to the production design folks, I totally thought they were recycling footage and then Kara spoke and I was like, ‘WHOA. WHOA THIS IS NEW.’
Plane saaaaaaave!!!! :D :D :D :D
Love it. Love it so much.
And OooOOoOOoh, that little bit! That we didn’t see before! Kara ignored calls for help because she was afraid of revealing her identity!
(What you wanna bet the Courage Totem wanted her to do exactly that?)
Love her big smile after she saves the guy, though. You can tell that it’s, you know. Obviously 30-something Melissa, not 20-something Melissa, but that smile? Like steppin’ back in time.
Perhaps it was simply the CW ads playing during the commercial breaks, but the whole ‘YOU FAILED’ and ‘totem’ aspect gave me Legends of the Hidden Temple vibes.
Unintentional cross promotion! XD
The Fifth Dimension is...fine? Kinda lackluster, for an entirely different plane of existence, but, you know. Budgets.
Not a fan of Nyxly’s dress. 
But very good character stuff!
Meanwhile, back at the museum:
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And THIS, my friends, is where the episode jumps from ‘pretty darn good!’ to ‘practically perfect in every way.’
Because J’onn has the courage to freely express his feelings and Alex has the courage to be dangerously optimistic. Which means we get gems such as:
SWEET, another dragon!
And can I just say how proud I am to have watched you both grow into the strong women you are today?
Uh, Mr. Dragon sir? Two minutes of your time. Just two minutes.
(To the woman throwing coffee cups) Good hit.
These people must be so scared...but they’re being so brave.
My immediate thought, when finishing this episode, was that I wanted a gifset of just J’onn lines, but. Upon further reflection, you just can’t capture how excellent the line reads are in plain text.
Thus, I feel like the best thing would just be a J’onn supercut.
Sadly, there’s only a Lena supercut for this episode that youtube thought I’d want to see HAHAHA I hate it here.
J’onn: Alex is such a courageous hero. :D
Kara: Yeah, normally she’s a grade-A, glass-half-shattered realist. >:C
I am happy that Katie didn’t have to wear uncomfortable heels in this episode but uuuhhhh...the white sneakers with the Janet-From-The-Good-Place outfit is...certainly...a look.
I like the CGI on Kara rushing around the city to save people! It looked really cool, the glowing lights of the buildings and the white streak of Kara speeding/hopping around. 
And ooooh, the shot of Kara holding the totem at the rainy window. Nice and moody.
Every time they bring up Project Bolt I’m just like:
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This? This Bolt? Aaaand now I’m sad about the lack of Krypto on this show.
Guesstimating?!??!?!
XD
Right, so. Then we get the Lightning storm showdown and I love it.
We’ve got WILLIAM! OUR BOY! SAVING A KID!
And then J’onn being like, ‘Bummer. I understand your frustration. Wanna talk about it?’
And Kara ultimately putting the safety and well-being of her team ahead of ‘beating’ Nxyly aaaahhhh yes, excellent, wonderful, stellar.
(Also Dr. Lahr uselessly pounding on J’onn’s chest is hilarious.)
Guardian and Sentinel team uuppppp NICE, NICE.
(But wouldn’t the metal shield be...bad...for deflecting lightning?)
(...You know what, who cares, looks rad.)
And then! We circle back to a thing I mentioned earlier, that whole, ‘This is personal for Kara’, all this stuff with Nyxly.
Like, not only is she just a fun villain to watch, perfectly nailing that sweet spot of comic book silliness and a serious threat to our heroes, but ALSO. This season did a great job setting her up at the outset and directly involving Kara by having them bond and such.
And they continued to build on that in the previous episodes as well; here, it jumps up ANOTHER level as they become psychically linked! 
INTRIGUING!
(Also, I know it was like, framed as Kara wanting to have a strategic advantage over Nyxly but I like to think some of her ‘no, thanks’ to Lena was also rooted, ‘Haha, our friendship is mending but no, I do not want you using your novice magical abilities to mess with my head, thanks.’)
Credit where credit is due, Katie’s ‘turns out...thatshesawitch’ was a very funny bit.
So then! The episode-ending bits! Looks like we’re gonna get some WILLIAM stuff and some ALEX stuff, yes, good, yes.
Excellent, A+, loved EVERY MINUTE OF THIS EPISODE. SUCH A GOOD TIME.
COMING UP. New episode, obviously, but also! This month! DC Fandome! And supposedly a farewell Supergirl panel? IDK, we’ll probably get more info as we get closer.
Until the next break in my schedule, then!
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bechloeislegit · a year ago
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25 Days of BeChloe Christmases - 2020
Day 14 - Thank you, Santa
Military Coming Home AU: Beca tells Chloe she won't be home for Christmas.
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Sgt. Beca Mitchell was video chatting with her wife, Chloe, on WhatsApp. The conversation was a bit tense after Beca told Chloe she wouldn't be able to make it home for Christmas.
"Chlo, you know I'd be there if I could," Beca said.
"I know," Chloe said softly. "I just miss you so much. You haven't been home for Christmas in over two years."
"I know," Beca said with a sigh.
"And it's not like we're at war right now," Chloe said. "Why can't they let you come home? Your dad and my folks have all said they'd help pay for your trip. They want to see you as badly as I do."
Beca sighed and stared at her wife as Chloe wiped at the tears in her eyes. "Please stop crying. You know I hate to see you cry, especially when it's because of me."
"I'm sorry," Chloe said, sniffling and wiping her face. She forced a smile, and said, "So, Brey and Stacie are having a Christmas Party."
Beca smiled at the sudden change of topic, knowing it was Chloe's way of dealing with her emotions.
"Yeah?" Beca asked. "Are the Bellas going to be there, too?"
"Emily, Jessica, and Fat Amy will be there," Chloe said. "The rest aren't able to make it."
"Sgt. Mitchell?"
"I'm sorry, babe," Beca said. "I have to go. I'll talk to you later. I love you!"
"I love you, too," Chloe said. "Stay safe!"
"Always," Beca said, smiling and blowing Chloe a kiss.
~~ Day 14 of the 25 Days of BeChloe Christmases - 2020 ~~
"CR and Ashley are coming home for Christmas," Chloe told Beca on their next WhatsApp video call. "Why can the Air Force and Navy send soldiers home for Christmas, but not the Army?"
"It doesn't work like that, babe," Beca said.
"It should," Chloe said. "The Army sucks!"
"I know," Beca said. "But it is what I signed up for, and by virtue of marrying me, so did you."
"I know," Chloe said. "Doesn't mean I have to like it. Sometimes I wish-."
Chloe paused and looked at Beca.
"Sometimes you wish what?" Beca asked, raising her brow. "That you never married me?"
"NO!" Chloe said quickly. "I'd never wish that. I love you, Beca, so, so much. I was going to say sometimes I wish you had never joined the Army."
"But, I did," Beca said. "You knew I was a soldier when we met."
"I know that!" Chloe said. "And I love that you want to serve our country." Chloe's voice broke as she added, "What I don't love, is the families that are left at home not knowing when, or if, they'll see their loved ones again! I have to go."
Chloe ended the call and cried. She didn't bother to even try to curtail her tears. She cried because she missed Beca. She cried because she had yelled at Beca and Beca didn't deserve that.
Chloe knew she owed Beca an apology, so once she calmed down, she initiated another video call with Beca.
"Hey," Beca said, accepting the call.
"Hey," Chloe said, swallowing the lump in her throat. "I'm sorry. You didn't deserve to be yelled at. I'm just so frustrated at how much I miss you, and can't see you, or hug you, or kiss you. I miss all that."
"I get it, I do," Beca said. "I want to see you in person and hug you and kiss you, too. I'm going to see if I can get permission to take some leave and come home. I know I won't be able to do it for Christmas, but I'll try to make it as soon as possible."
"I'll take it," Chloe said, smiling at Beca. "I love you."
"I love you, too," Beca said. "Things have been quiet here, so I should be able to call you on Christmas. Maybe we can video chat while you're at Stacie and Aubrey's party."
"I'd like that," Chloe said. "I'm sure the girls would love to see and talk to you, too. They are always asking about you."
"I miss those crazy nerds," Beca said smiling.
"God, I love that smile," Chloe said, causing Beca to blush.
"Stop it," Beca said.
"I really am sorry for taking my frustration out on you," Chloe said.
"It's forgotten," Beca said. "I should go. I'll talk to you soon. I love you."
"I love you, too," Chloe said. "Stay safe!"
"Always," Beca responded and ended the call.
~~ Day 14 of the 25 Days of BeChloe Christmases - 2020 ~~
On Christmas Eve, Chloe pulled up WhatsApp and initiated a video chat with Beca.
"Hey, babe," Beca said, answering the call. "Where are you?"
Chloe looked around. "I'm spending tonight at Brey and Stacie's. They didn't want me to be alone on Christmas morning. This way I get to see Bella open her gifts from Santa."
"That's good," Beca said. "What's a good time for us to talk tomorrow?"
"The party is supposed to start at one my time," Chloe said.
"That's good," Beca said. "It's still early enough here that I should be able to talk for a while. Hopefully, I can talk with everyone."
"I'll make sure to keep them to a time limit," Chloe said. "After they're done, I can hide out in my room and we can chat privately."
"Why, Mrs. Mitchell," Beca said, waggling her eyebrows. "Are we going to have one of those kinds of chats?"
Chloe laughed. "Stop, you perv. If I can't have you physically participating, it's not worth it."
"Speak for yourself" Beca laughed. "I love watching you."
"You need to stop," Chloe said. "Or this might turn into one of those calls."
"Would that be so-"
"Chloe?" Aubrey said as she opened the bedroom door. "Lunch is ready."
"Hey, Posen," Beca said from the computer screen. "Impeccable timing as usual."
"Oh, hi, Beca," Aubrey said, looking at Beca. "I'm sorry, I didn't know you two were talking."
"It's okay," Chloe said. "We were just finishing up."
"We were?" Beca asked, pouting.
"Yes, we were," Chloe said and laughed. "We'll continue this tomorrow. Maybe."
"Fine," Beca said. "I'll talk to you tomorrow. I love you."
"I love you, too," Chloe said. "Stay safe!"
"Always," Beca said. "Bye, Aubrey."
"Bye, Beca," Aubrey said.
Chloe ended the call and closed her laptop.
"I really am sorry, Chloe," Aubrey said.
"It's okay, Brey," Chloe said. "I'll get to talk to her tomorrow."
~~ Day 14 of the 25 Days of BeChloe Christmases - 2020 ~~
On Christmas morning, Chloe was awakened by a very excited four-year-old Bella Conrad.
"Aunt Chloe," Bella yelled as she bounced on Chloe's bed. "Santa came. Get up!"
"I'm up. I'm up," Chloe said, sitting up.
"Mommy said breakfast is ready," Bella said as she slid off the bed and ran toward the door.
Chloe flopped back on the bed, stretching her arms over her head. She ran a hand through her hair and wiped her eyes before sitting up on the side of the bed.
"Aunt Chloe!" Bella yelled from the doorway. "Breakfast is ready!"
"I heard you," Chloe said, standing and slowly made her way to the door.
"Hurry up," Bella said as she grabbed Chloe's hand and led her to the kitchen.
"Good morning, sunshine," Stacie said to Chloe.
"Bite me," Chloe said, as she took a seat at the counter, placing her head on her arms.
"Chloe!" Aubrey admonished. "A c-h-i-l-d is present."
"Presents?" Bella squealed. "Is it time to open presents?"
Stacie laughed. "Not until after we eat."
"Darn it!" Bella said, crossing her arms and pouting.
Chloe laughed.
"Don't encourage her, Chloe," Aubrey said.
"Sorry," Chloe said. "She's just so darned cute when she pouts."
Aubrey set a cup of coffee in front of Chloe as Stacie plated the food.
Breakfast was finally over, much to Bella's delight. Chloe watched Bella open her gifts, with a sad, thoughtful smile on her face.
"You okay, Chlo?" Aubrey asked, looking at Chloe.
"Yeah," Chloe said. "I'm just thinking about Beca and what it will be like when we have kids."
"What time is Beca calling today?" Stacie asked.
"I told her the party started at one," Chloe said. "I'm guessing she'll call a little after that."
~~ Day 14 of the 25 Days of BeChloe Christmases - 2020 ~~
Chloe helped Stacie and Aubrey get everything ready for the party. It was a little before one when the doorbell rang.
"Looks like our first guests are arriving," Stacie said as she and Bella went to the door.
Stacie opened the door and found Santa standing on their porch.
"Santa!" Belle squealed and clapped her hands.
"Ho, ho, ho, Bella!" Santa said.
"Um, Santa?" Stacie said, her brows furrowed. "What brings you here?"
"I have a special delivery," Santa said.
Aubrey and Chloe moved to look over Stacie's shoulder.
"Who is that?" Chloe whispered to Aubrey.
"I have no idea," Aubrey whispered back. "We didn't ask anyone to be Santa."
"Come in, Santa," Bella said, stepping outside to grab Santa's hand.
"Bella!" Stacie yelled, reaching for her daughter.
"No!" Aubrey cried, reaching out as well.
"Why not?" Bella asked, standing outside the door, holding Santa's hand.
"I, uh, I don't know him," Aubrey said, as she stood next to Stacie.
"It's Santa, mama," Bella said (the duh was not said, but heavily implied).
"Come on, Brey," Stacie whispered. "What harm could there be in letting him in? He knows Bella's name so he has to be someone we know."
Aubrey looked at Santa and then at the hopeful look on Bella's face.
"Okay, let him in," Aubrey finally relented.
"Yay!" Bella yelled. "Come on, Santa."
Santa threw his sack over his back and followed Bella into the house. Aubrey kept her eye on him the whole time.
"So, where's this special delivery you have?" Stacie asked.
Santa set his bag down and opened it. He pulled out three wrapped packages and reached into the bag and stood.
"There's supposed to be a fourth gift," Santa said. "The last one must have fallen out in my truck, um, my sleigh. I'll go get it. But first,-."
Santa handed a gift to Bella, Aubrey, and Stacie. "You can open these while I get the last gift."
Santa turned and hurried outside, yelling "I'll be right back" over his shoulder.
Bella sat down and ripped the paper from her gift. Stacie and Aubrey just stood, looking confused as they held their gifts and watched Bella open hers.
"Look, mommy," Bella said, holding up an army shirt with her name on it. "It's just like Aunt Beca's."
Chloe walked over to the two mothers. "I think Santa is Jesse," she whispered.
"Really?" Aubrey asked. "Why would he be doing all this?"
"Maybe Beca put him up to it," Stacie mumbled.
"She didn't say anything to me about it," Chloe said. "But, Bella's gift makes me think she is behind it."
"I wonder what she sent for you," Aubrey said.
Santa was back, carrying a wrapped package, and handed it to Chloe.
"You need to open this last," Santa said.
"Open your gift, Brey," Stacie said, ripping the paper on hers. "So, Chloe can open hers."
Aubrey ripped the paper from hers.
"I got a red cashmere sweater," Stacie said, holding up the sweater for them to see.
"I got a green one," Aubrey said, showing it as well. "They're beautiful."
"Open yours, Chloe," Stacie said.
Chloe ripped the paper and set the box down. She lifted the lid and saw a laptop sitting inside.
"She sent me a laptop?" Choe said. "There's a note on top."
Chloe lifted the note and opened it. "It just says play me."
"So, play it," Aubrey said.
Chloe lifted the laptop out of the box and opened the lid. She held the laptop in front of herself as Stacie and Aubrey stood on each side so they could see. Chloe pressed play and Beca's face popped up on the screen.
"Hey, babe," Beca said through the laptop. "I know you were expecting me to Skype during the party today, but something came up and I won't be able to do that."
"That's it," Chloe said, looking at Aubrey and then at Stacie. "It just stops. I wonder what happened? Why can't she Skype?"
"Because she wanted to do it in person," Santa said.
The three women looked over at him.
"Aunt Beca!" Bella yelled and ran to the door.
"Hey, Bella," Beca said, leaning down and grabbing Bella up in her arms.
"Aunt Beca?" Chloe said and looked toward the door. "Beca!"
Chloe shoved the laptop at Aubrey and ran toward Beca. Beca quickly set Bella down and braced herself to catch Chloe. Chloe launched herself at Beca and smashed their lips together. Beca held her around the waist and spun her around.
"I love you," Chloe said, pulling back from the kiss.
"I love you, too," Beca said, reclaiming Chloe's lips.
"We want a Beca hug, too," Stacie said, causing the couple to break their kiss.
Chloe held onto Beca while Stacie and Aubrey gave her a quick hug.
"Can we go home now?" Chloe asked, staring at Beca.
"Shortstuff!" Fat Amy's voice called from the doorway.
Beca looked over her shoulder to see Fat Amy standing by the door.
"I think that means we're staying," Beca whispered to Chloe before turning back toward Amy.
"Oh, my stars!" Emily squealed as she entered the house. "Beca's home!"
"Beca made it home?!" cried Jessica and Ashley as they entered behind Emily.
CR entered and smiled when she saw Beca. All the friends moved as one toward Beca, and Beca was soon lost in a sea of hugs.
Chloe slipped away from the hug circle and walked over to Santa. She hugged him and whispered, "Thank you, Santa Jesse."
"You're welcome, Chloe."
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A/N: I know I'm a day behind, but I hope to catch up in the next couple of days.
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m0mmat0rtle · a year ago
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Her Voice
Chapter one
I’m in the process of moving my fics from wattpad and ao3 to take tumblr so please enjoy chapter one of “Her Voice” from my Wattpad. It’s a Kix x mute OC with lots of TLC for other clones as well. I’ll do my best to update it every Friday but for now enjoy chapter one.
Summary: Princess Calypso is eager to meet the visitors to her planet but being the youngest of twelve sisters, being the first in line for certain things isn’t always easy for her. She is eager to get a glimpse of the famous senator Amidala and her Entourage escorting her.
Warnings: none.
Word count: 854
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Padme waited patiently for her ship to land on the distant world of Atla, a tropical planet which was mostly filled with water save the few islands that dotted it's blue surface. It was these islands that Padme watched grow closer and closer as the ship finally made its way to the planet. "I was told to inform you to prepare for landing." A familiar voice caused the woman to smile. "Ani." She addressed him. "What if this meeting doesn't go as planned? The people of Atla have a history of being hostile." Anakin pressed a small kiss to the woman's forehead. "If anything goes wrong I won't let anything happen to you. There is nothing for you to worry about." He added as he followed the woman's gaze to the planet below. "The senate sent both me and the 501st to ensure everything goes along smoothly. Nothing will go wrong, I assure you." Padme looked at him, her brown eyes looked over the man she loved before she smiled and wrapped her arms around him in a quick hug. "Thank you Ani."
"General skywalker said to prepare for landing, you boys know what that means." Rex addressed his men. "Do you think we'll catch a glimpse of any of the royals?" Tup asked as he followed his brothers to prepare to land. "What do you care?" Dogma snarled. "Shut up, Dogma." Jesse teased. "Besides I heard the king has twelve daughters! Twelve!" Fives cut in. "That's almost enough for each of us to have two." Hardcase joked causing the men to laugh. "Laugh all you want, I don't want any part of your schemes to get too acquainted with the royals." Kix said, checking to make sure he had everything stocked up in his first aid kit. "C'mon, Kix." Jesse said as he brought an arm around him. "Don't be a killjoy." "I'm not." Kix replied cooly. "I'm just not a fan of objectifying women." The counter caused the men to fall silent, guilty of their crimes. "Enough banter, you lot." Rex cut in. "We're needed to escort with landing."
"Can you believe it?" The second eldest of the king's daughters asked with delight as she brought a brightly colored shawl around her shoulders.  "Careful Charlotte," Another sister warned as she ran a silver brush through her hair. "That's one of our best shawls. Please be careful with it." The eldest, Caroline, stated. "Oh hush." Charlotte replied, admiring her reflection in the mirror. "If it's one of our best shawls then this is exactly the right time for me to wear it. It's the first time father has let outsiders into our borders, I better dress to impress if I am to finally meet someone who could be the one." "Not this again." The second youngest, Caitlyn, began with a roll of her eyes. "When are you going to let it go? We are princesses, Charlotte. We're all going to have arranged marriages so please quit with the romanticized dream of finding a handsome nobody to sweep you off your feet." Courtney snapped at the third youngest and Charlotte scoffed, not fazed by the words of her sister. "You're one to talk, Courtney." "No, she has a point." "You all ways think Courtney is right." "Well she is my twin." "Well not all of us can have a twin who shares the same dull mind as us." "Dull mind? I beg your pardon!" "You heard me, dull. D U L L!" "Caydence  you insufferable-" "Ladies Ladies! Please!" Caroline called out, rather loudly causing them to all hush. Caroline, being the oldest, was often found to be mothering her younger sisters. "Wait a moment," She added as she looked around the room they all shared. "Where's Calypso?"
Calypso Canto, youngest of the King's daughters, snuck around another corner of the palace of Atla. The sunlight streamed in through the tall glass windows and kept the marble halls well lit in the early morning. She wanted to be the first to see the visitors to Atla. Being the youngest of twelve sisters, there wasn't much she got to be first in line for, but this time was going to be different. She had managed to wake long before her sisters and dressed herself to her own liking and snuck out of the room before the sun had even risen on their small planet. "Miss Calypso!" The small princess turned to see a maid, a maid she knew rather well. "What are you doing up and ready? Your father hasn't even called for you or your sisters yet." She added, the maid, or Miss Turner, as Calypso knew her, stated. Calypso brought a finger to her lips, urging the woman to hush which she did with a smile. "Oh I see." Miss Turner replied. Calypso then used her hands to sign to the woman. "Up first to see the visitors first." She signed. Miss Turner smiled at the girl. "Off you go then, before anyone else comes looking for you." She ushered the young woman out of sight. "Thank you." Calypso signed before running off again.
Chapter Two >
/ if you enjoy my work please reblog to let me know!
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unremarkablegirl · a year ago
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Hello hello! I was tagged by the wonderful @moonysourenza so thanks for that dearest 💕
Name/nickname: call me Mars!
Gender: Female
Star sign: Aries
Height: 5'2 :(
Time: 4:34pm
Birthday: April 14th 
Favourite bands: The Amazing Devil, AJR, Bastille, Misterwives, The Script, COIN, Saint Motel, The Lumineers, The KONGOS, We The Kings, The Strumbellas, 5SOS, Kodaline, Little Mix, MISSIO, The Mowgli’s & The Score
Favourite solo artists: Hozier, Banners, Ruth B, Matt Maeson, P!ATD (it’s deadass just Brendon, let me live), Zayde Wolf, Woodkid, Aminé, Big Sean, Qveen Herby, Flo Milli, Steve Aoki, Saweetie, NF, Molly Kate Kestner, Dodi, MGK, Lorde, Julia Michaels, Jess Glynne, Bohnes, bulow, Bishop Briggs, Barns Courtney, Blackbear & Alice Merton
(yooo i will be coming to you for song recs, our tastes sorta overlap!)
Song stuck in my head: Like Real People Do by Hozier, I am just currently yearning
Last movie: Inception
Last show: Bridgerton 
When did I create this blog: uhh 2019 but I didn’t start actively using it until summer of 2020 :D
How it started: I had one in middle school/high school deleted and for some reason thought it would be a good idea to come back
How's it's going: It’s mostly delightful! Y’all are so nice and it’s allowed me to get back into fiction writing which I never realized I missed 💕
What I post: uhh issa multifandom mess, mostly the 100 (yes almost 100 days after it ended), the witcher, tua, occasionally dc and marvel alongside whatever I'm fixating over at the mo. Also! Lots of aesthetics and quotes and my own writing!
Aesthetic: I don’t think I subscribe to one specific aesthetic, switching between like moods and stuff but flowers are good! And chaotic academia, a bit of rage and yearning y’know alongside nature and space aesthetics (its a mess I know)
Last thing I googled: The 100 psychedelic berries (it’s for a fic okay)
Other blogs: I only have this one.
Following: honestly, if the vibes are good I follow, regardless of how much or how little I interact with that particular fandom
Followers: a surprising amount, y’all sweet af 💕
Average sleep: If I could swing 10 or 11 hours every night for the rest of my life I’d be so happy, the actual number ranges from 5-8 hours unless it’s a day off :)
lucky number: 13 cause that was my jersey number from middle school through to high school
Instruments: nope
what i am wearing: uhh sweatshirt and yoga pants 
Dream job(s) (in no particular order): Author, Neurolinguist, Professor 
Favourite Animal noise: when cats go purr, good shit
Random: I wanna get back into kickboxing
Dream trip: Road trip through Italy!
Favourite food: Coconut curry noodles, hands down
Nationality: CAN Richard Funk
Favourite song: Lost Boy by Ruth B
Last book i read: It was a textbook lol, but currently working through This Savage Song by VE Schwabb
Top 3 fictional universes i would like to live in: Specifically Central City (DC), Star Trek, The Witcher
that was fun!
Tagging: @astral-almighty @loveyou5everr @kayabiter @needsmustleap @lovelessdyke @songbirds-poet @sleeplesswillows @spacekrulesbians @gansxythethird & @sleepy-enigma :D (no pressure or anything tho) 💕
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eafsegse · 11 months ago
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I would be alone
And here let me say, that the treatment of plantation slaves cannot be fully known, except by the poor sufferers themselves, and their drivers and overseers. They would be much cooler than her in her tokar, with its heavy fringe of baby pearls. He was not brave enough to take cold steel to his own belly, but a bite of mushroom would not be so hard. One woman who knows more than most about creating a trainer which llantas 4x4 onlineis perfect for the workplace is Rose Rankin who founded her eponymous trainer brand after spotting a "niche for a smarter kind of trainer which is as beautifully crafted as a normal shoe but would still cost less than 200." Rankin, who spent seven years working as an industry analyst at Google and has long favoured trainers for work, began trading last year with styles designed to stand out from the usual branded options. So they changed their mindset, put a lot of time in themselves and refused to be denied. The men were all of a height, with long legs and flat bellies, every muscle as sharply etched as if it had been chiseled out of stone. The little candidates for “field honors” are useless articles on a plantation during the first five or six years of their existence. “Delightful, indeed! You scribblers think every one’s delightful if only she wears petticoats. “Good,” he said. I would be alone. Thus he says: “Because individuals may have been deprived of many of their rights by society, it does not follow that they have been deprived of all their rights.” Again, he says of the slave: “He is still a human being, and possesses all those rights of which he is not deprived by the positive provisions of the law.” Here he admits that the provisions of law deprive the slave of natural rights. Capture up on the most recent lingo so you do not sound like an idiot when these guys in fact do start playing, apparently sometime in January. It had a bitter taste, though not so bitter as acorn paste. Miller where Jesse McCreary lived, and then seized me by the arm, and pulled me out of the house. Holding her tokar daintily so as not to tread upon its fringes, Daenerys Targaryen eased herself onto the chair’s plush velvet seat, and Hizdahr zo Loraq went to his knees, unlaced her sandals, and washed her feet whilst fifty eunuchs sang and ten thousand eyes looked on. So do their friends. Personally, I think this is very bad form. For longer hair section hair smaller about 1" for medium length to short hair use 1 1/2. By an
cazadora vaquera tommy hilfiger
unworthy artifice, therefore, he got possession of his servant’s free papers, and condemned him still to hopeless slavery. "So I was always mamma's little girl, staying next to her constantly. Johnson (D) and county schools zone 2 director Andrew Zuckerman. Then he licked
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thoughtportal · a year ago
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City of Ghosts, the Netflix show, is a bit hard to explain.
For starters, it's a children's show. It's animated in 3-D, and the characters — mostly children — look kind of like Wii avatars. It's set in Los Angeles, and the backgrounds are real places that thousands of people encounter here every day: Koreatown subway stations, Venice skate parks, East LA restaurants, you get the idea.
The premise is simple: it's framed like a documentary, hosted by a group of kids who are all members of the "Ghost Club." The Ghost Club, as the name implies, gets reports of ghosts in the city, goes to find them and, once they do, sits down to interview them.
The members of the Ghost Club are voiced by kids with little to no acting experience. The questions they ask the ghosts sound genuine because, well, they really are genuine. And the ghosts and other adults in the show are also real people, telling more-or-less real stories.
Despite the name, City of Ghosts isn't scary or alienating. In fact, it's the opposite: Warm, inviting and illuminating. It gives viewers — both kids and adults — a better idea of the world around us, without sacrificing our capacity for imagination.
It's a really hard thing to do, but Elizabeth Ito, the show's creator, does it beautifully.
She's a writer and animator who's worked on Adventure Time, Spongebob Squarepants, Hotel Transylvania and more. She created the award-winning short Welcome To My Life. She's won an Emmy. And she's a delight to talk to.
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redgoldsparks · 2 years ago
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July Reading and Reviews by Maia Kobabe
Serenity (novelization) by Keith RA DeCandido
I bought this novelization of Serenity back in 2005, not long after watching the movie in theaters. I had recently been introduced to Firefly by friends and fell in love with it, possibly because there was so little of it: the fact it had been prematurely cut short meant it was left to my imagination how amazing the conclusion COULD have been. It's one of very few TV shows that I've watched more than once, and I hold onto an extreme nostalgic fondness for the characters and the world. It was interesting to re-read this book in 2020, with a much fuller knowledge of Whedon's unsavory behavior, and also during a period in which JKR's evolution into a full, loud TERF has caused me to spend a lot of time reflecting on how much or little of an author's problematic beliefs can be seen in their work. Part of what drew me to the Firefly crew was the fact that 4 of the 9 main characters are women, each one interestingly different from the others. As a high schooler, this near gender parity in a sci-fi ensemble show delighted me. Reading the book through much older eyes, I noticed that each of these unique women are completely defined by their relationships with men. This aspect of the story is probably more emphasized in the novelization because of the added internal narration. The dialogue in this book is exactly the same as the film, but the author gives thoughts to these women that I didn't always agree with or love. Still, it was fun to revisit this story, and I think there is still value in reading a flawed book, especially if it inspires some good thoughts or conversations.
Witch Hat Atelier vol 5 by Kamome Shirahama
Another beautiful installment of one of my favorite manga series. Coco's classmates taking the second test of witch craft have been attached by a member of the Brimmed Hats, the witches who want to bring forbidden magic back to the world. Coco and her friends have to use the limited spells they know to save a fellow apprentice from a terrible fate. Gorgeously drawn as always!
A Year Without a Name by Cyrus Grace Dunham
Dunham's short but powerful debut memoir covers the year in which they finally decided to start taking testosterone and do top surgery, after a lifetime of struggling with intense dysphoria and mental illness. Prior to the beginning of the narrative shown here, Durham had already been diagnosed with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder and generalized anxiety. They lay bare their failed attempts at self-definition through desire and worship of others, a string of passionate romances that bleed into each other, often twisted with jealousy and fear. Durham's life seems unmoored by responsibilities, as neither jobs or school commitments are mentioned between a trip to India, time spent in their parents house on the East Coast, their shared queer apartment in Los Angeles, and road trips up to the Bay Area. I always enjoy recognizing places I know in memoir, and I was delighted to read a scene that took place on a Northern California beach I also visited and loved as a child. It was hard not to compare Durham's gender evolution to my own, and be grateful for the comparative quietness and gentleness of my own journey.
Hotel Dare vol 1 by Terry Blas and Claudia Aguirre
Blond preteen Olive travels to Mexico with her adopted Latinx siblings Charlotte and Darwin, to spend the summer at their Grandmother Lupé’s (possibly haunted?) hotel. They discover a series of strange artifacts which allow them to visit alternate worlds, and also a history of missing family members. All of this plot is wrapped up quite quickly, though the ending also leaves the door open for a sequel. I liked a lot of the concepts in this book, but it just didn't quite come together for me.
Kriss: The Gift of Wrath by Ted Naifeh and Warren Wucinich
Kriss is a pale, emo, teenage misfit in village of hearty medieval peasants. He suspects that the couple who raised him are not his birth parents; he is haunted by ghosts, or gods, who whisper to him about the northern kingdom of Darkovia where his true destiny lies. Kriss's only friend in town is a kind girl named Anya, who confiders her own sadness over her mother's recent death. Kriss goes into the forest to hunt down the beast who killed her, and defeats it at great personal cost. This isn't a complicated story, but Naifeh is good at developing characters with clear personalities and motivations. I am curious to see where this story goes in volume 2!
We Are The Fire, We Are The Ashes by Joy McCullough
I had the pleasure of illustrating this novel! So I got to read the book early, and my review will be quite biased :D It takes place mostly over one summer during which high schooler Em Morales loses her faith in the justice system after the frat boy who raped her older sister is found guilty by a jury, but not sentenced to any prison time. Em was a writer on her school paper, and used her small social media platform to raise awareness and advocate for her sister's case. Now she is ready to quit journalism altogether in disgust. At loose ends, she reconnects with Jess, a nonbinary acquaintance also home for the summer but trying to avoid their divorcing parents. Jess is in the drama club, practices sword fighting, and loves medieval history. Jess introduces Em to the story of Marguerite de Bressieux, a 15th-century French noblewoman who according to legend took up a sword to avenge victims of sexual violence. Em starts writing poems about Marguerite de Bressieux, which Jess illustrates. I created 18 black and white pieces (Jess's art) for the book and it was one of my favorite illustration projects to date. I, too, was once a nonbinary Renaissance-Fair-obsessed teenager; I looked through a bunch of my own high school sketchbooks, as well as reference books on illuminated manuscripts, for inspiration while working on this. I can't wait for readers to get to see the book when it comes out in early 2021!
Deadly Class vol 1: Regan Youth by Rick Remember, Wes Craig, Lee Loughridge, and Rus Wooton
Set in the late 1980s, this story opens with teenage orphan Marcus living on the streets of San Francisco. He has a violent and tragic past; he has a bleak present; he wonders if he has any kind of future at all. Out of the blue, on Dia de Los Muertos, a handful of cops begin chasing Marcus seemingly trying to kill him. A group of teens intervene, and they save Marcus's life before kidnapping him and taking him to meet their mentor. It turns out they are all students at an underground school for assassins and they've had their eye on Marcus for a while. Most of the students are the children of Mafia, Yakuza, Neo Nazis or the heads of drug cartels, but Marcus is offered admittance. However, remarkably little of this first volume takes places at the school or shows any of the education that takes place there- instead it mostly follows two off-campus trips Marcus does that turn into drug-fulled murder scenes. I liked the art quite a lot and the inventive page layouts drew me in, but the story didn't do much for me. If you want to read about kids at an assassin school I'd recommend instead Five Weapons, a comic series by Jimmy Robinson which is much lighter, humorous and clever; or the fantasy trilogy Book of the Ancestor by Mark Lawrence, which is set at a girls' martial arts monastery and has multiple queer characters; or Robin Hobb's Assassin's Apprentice, the opening book of an epic and devastating fantasy series.
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persephone-garnata · a year ago
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The Only Thing You Can Never Buy In Heaven
Just finished my first fanfic in more than two years!
Thank you, SPN finale :D 
remembering this scene
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It’s a wincest one-shot about our favourite co-dependent soulmates, with middlegame Sam/Eileen. It’s mostly canon-compliant, except for Miracle goes to Heaven too, and there’s the Samulet, because I love the Samulet.
Read it on AO3 here or below the cut:
The Only Thing You Can Never Buy In Heaven
Dean loved driving around in the Impala, Led Zeppelin blasting on the stereo – the sound much cleaner now, the acoustic guitar opening of Ramble On coming through as clear as a crisp spring day. Always his favorite song to drive to, along the endless highways of Heaven.
           He visited with old friends – Bobby, obviously, his mom and dad, he went to the Roadhouse to catch up with Ellen, Jo, Ash and the rest. There were so many he knew who had died before him – hunters and civilians alike. But mostly, he just drove around – through countryside in all seasons, spring and summer and winter and fall, through mountains and deserts and cities and forests, along the shores of lakes and oceans. He stopped at countless roadside diners and ate countless plates of delicious food, without having to think about cholesterol once.
           But there was always something missing – or rather, someone. Someone to tell him to think about cholesterol, even though he didn’t have to. Someone to sit shotgun, and keep him company on nights beneath the stars. He knew he wanted Sam to live a full life, to enjoy all those years he deserved – a career, a family, a house with a white picket fence. And after all, against the backdrop of eternity, what difference did a few decades make?
           Enough difference, it turned out, to make him feel constantly like half of him was missing. Especially since there was one thing he couldn’t find, no matter how much he searched, no matter how many boxes he emptied out or pockets he rifled. You’d think that, in Heaven, you should be able to get hold of whatever the hell – or whatever the heaven – you wanted, but there seemed to be at least one exception to that. He found the replica and hung it from the rearview mirror, but it wasn’t the same.
           ‘Do you have idea where I can find my old necklace?’ he asked Bobby, one time when they were sitting on the porch together, drinking beers and shooting the breeze. Bobby gave him a slightly sad smile, and didn’t ask which one he meant. There could only be one.
           ‘Think Sam’s still got it,’ he said. ‘Back on Earth. You’ll just have to wait. Won’t seem like no time at all. Like I told you – he’ll be along.’
           ‘But –‘ Dean creased his brow - ‘Sam still has Baby, too, and yet there she is.’ He pointed at the car, sitting gleaming on the driveway. ‘And – I don’t know how this is supposed to work, I was never that good at all this stuff, but isn’t there loads of stuff in Heaven that’s on Earth too?’
           ‘Oh, you got that right,’ said Bobby. ‘There are exceptions to the rule, see? Cosmic special cases. And that necklace is one of them. Can’t be in two places at once.’
           Dean took a long pull of his beer, thinking. ‘Can’t I make a new one?’ he asked. ‘Or – buy one?’
           Bobby laughed at that. ‘Buy one? It ain’t something you can buy, boy. In fact, I figure it’s the only thing you can never buy in Heaven.’
           ‘I just – don’t feel right without it.’
           Bobby turned his shrewd gaze on Dean. ‘I know,’ he said. ‘It feels like there’s half of you missing, doesn’t it?’
           ‘Well – yeah.’
           ‘That’s ‘cause there is half of you missing. That’s how soulmates work.’
           Dean nearly choked on his beer, and Bobby had to slap him between the shoulder blades. ‘Oh, you didn’t think I didn’t know about the soulmates thing, did ya? The amount of time I spent with you boys – gimme some credit.’
           ‘I – well – we – I thought…’
           ‘You thought what? That soulmates aren’t supposed to be brothers? That incest would keep you out of Heaven? I think we both know that ain’t true.’
           Dean sipped his beer in silence, not trusting himself to say anything at all. He’d always known – or at least suspected – that the link between him and Sam went deeper than any bond normal brothers, or lovers, or even brother-lovers, shared – but soul mates? He remembered what Ash had said to him at the Roadhouse-Heaven, all those years ago – about soulmates having shared Heavens, and had he expected that he and Sam would share their own little piece of eternity?
           If he was honest with himself, he’d never thought he’d reach Heaven at all, after his years in Hell, and all the other things he’d done, and now that Jack had reconfigured things so that everyone could visit each other – well, that meant the soulmate rule no longer applied, surely? And yet – the feeling he always had, the ache like he’d lost half of himself – dammit, like half his soul was missing – that had to mean something. He’d wanted Sam to have his own life – had finally come to terms with the idea that they had horizons beyond hunting, and that his baby brother might want to explore those horizons without him – and yet now – there was only one thing he could think about.
           He had finished his beer, and was on the verge of getting up to get back behind the wheel (no issues with drink-driving in the Great Beyond) and go for a long drive with only Led Zeppelin for company. Perhaps he’d even see if he could go and visit John Bonham,  and some of the other rock stars who’d reached the top of that Stairway a long time ago. Then something burst out of the bushes and came running up to the porch – a shaggy dog, woofing in delight and licking his hands.
           ‘Hey, Miracle!’ said Dean, petting his head. ‘You’re a good boy, arentcha, a good boy…’ his voice trailed off as he thought about something. ‘Wait, if you’re here, does that mean…?’
           ‘All dogs go to Heaven,’ said Bobby, and lifted his beer bottle. ‘Guess he ain’t on Earth no more.’
           ‘Wow,’ said Dean, his hands pausing in Miracle’s long fur until the dog nudged him to make him continue petting. ‘Did Sammy look after you? Did he give you a long and happy life?’
           Miracle just barked enthusiastically, which Dean took as a Yes. He buried his face in the dog’s fur and felt, for a little while, just a little bit closer to Sam.
***
           It took Sam a long time to accept that his brother was really gone. The bunker felt so empty, all the time, and as the hunts gradually dried up, he decided he needed to move out. The echoing underground spaces just felt haunted – not by Dean, Sam could have coped with a ghostly brother – but by his absence. He caught himself, several times, eyeing up a gun, or a bottle of sleeping pills, or a coil of rope, or a knife, and wondering how long it would take for him to be reunited with Dean. And he had to admit that, if it hadn’t been for Miracle, he probably would have gone through with it. The dog just kept demanding to be fed, and to be taken out for runs, and to be petted. He never gave up on Sam, so Sam couldn’t give up on himself.
           Finally – on the day he got the call about the werewolf hunt – he resolved to leave the Bunker behind him. He knew that, once he turned the light out and closed the door behind him, he’d never be back again. So he packed up the trunk of the Impala with three boxes of possessions: one for himself, one for Miracle, and one for Dean. The last box was full of memories – shirts which still held a lingering scent of Dean, his old leather jacket, his watch, his most beloved vinyl records, his favorite weapons, a few photographs – and his necklace – the one with the amulet.
           Sam had kept that necklace in his pocket for so long it had almost become a part of him, but he’d always thought of it as a part of Dean. Now, he lifted it up to the light inside the bunker, looked at that inscrutable face, and felt a powerful tug inside him – a tug of both sadness, and hope. He put the necklace inside the box with the rest, and for the first time since Dean had died, thought that maybe, just maybe, things might turn out right.
           That werewolf hunt turned out to be his last hunt for a while. Sam drifted around, sleeping in whatever dog-friendly motels he could find, or on the back seat of the Impala when he couldn’t find one. He scoured the local news and the internet, looking for more cases, trying to throw himself back into the job. Yet it seemed that the monsters were thinner on the ground now, and soon Sam realized his heart wasn’t in it any more – the family business just wasn’t the same without the family.
           He toured around for some time, checking in with old friends. He saw Jody and Donna and Clare and Alex. He saw Charlie and her girlfriend. He saw Jesse and Cesar. He saw Garth and his family – little Sam and Castiel were growing well. No Dean though – his absence was a constant pain, like the ache in a missing limb, and Sam felt it even more acutely when he saw other people’s happiness.
He kept seeking people out, further and further flung branches of the extended Winchester hunting family. He tracked down Lisa’s son Ben Braeden, now twenty-one and studying medicine, and looking just a little bit like Dean at the same age. He even reconnected with Amelia, now living happily with her husband Don and their two young children – and a big shaggy dog. He really regretted that particular foray into his own past – it just made him feel miserable, and as he drove away from their picture-perfect house, if it hadn’t been for Miracle on the back seat, he’d have probably driven the Impala straight off a bridge into the nearest canyon.
Finally, he worked his way back to Jody Mills, and as he sat in her house late at night, drinking her wine and eating her potato chips, Miracle gnawing a bone at his feet, she said something to him.
‘You know you need to see her at some point, Sam,’
He didn’t need to ask who she meant.
‘It’s – not that easy,’ he said.
‘Isn’t it? You know she cares about you, and I think you care about her.’
Sam sighed. ‘I do,’ he said. ‘I really do. But – me and Dean –‘
‘You had something special,’ Jody filled in for him. ‘She knows that too.’
Sam sighed again. ‘Something special’ was one way to describe what he and Dean had shared, he supposed, but how could he ever really convey the true depth of their relationship? How could he possibly tell someone – anyone – the way he and Dean had lived together, hunted together, slept together (and yes, they had slept together, but almost more significant was the way they had always huddled together for warmth and protection, neither of them ever able to sleep properly without the other). How they had been everything to each other – more than brothers, more than lovers, more than anything?
He looked up, and saw that Jody was smiling at him.
‘And I’m sure she knows how you feel without him. If you’re worried what she’ll think of you – don’t. Most hunters – we got something, some pain, we carry with us.’
‘We’re all damaged goods,’ said Sam, and finished the rest of the glass of wine with one big gulp.
‘What’s damaged can be mended, if you’ll only let someone try,’ said Jody, and took the empty glass from him.
‘I suppose you’re right,’ said Sam, and got his phone out right then to send a message to Eileen, before the courage could leave him.
They arranged to meet for brunch at a trendy vegan hipster café (which also accepted dogs) in New York City, where Eileen had settled now. Sam remembered how Dean had never wanted to drive the Impala into Manhattan, so he left Baby at a big parking lot in a commuter town and rode the train into town, Miracle on the seat next to him. And he remembered how his brother had always hated these trendy cafes with their avocado toast and their artisan coffees and their stupid plant milks. Meeting Eileen at a place like this felt like moving on – which felt both fresh and good and right, and gave Sam an aching feeling of guilt.
The café was noisy with both music and chatter – Sam felt glad that he’d spent a long time practising his signing beforehand, so that he and Eileen could have a silent conversation in the middle of the hubbub. They sat on a half-collapsed sofa, twisted sideways to face each other, while they drank their almond-milk lattes and ate their sourdough toast, topped with scrambled tofu, wilted spinach, and a sprinkle of dukkah. Delicious, and not a nitrate in sight. Dean would have hated this place.
After exchanging a few stilted words of standard greetings, Eileen asked Sam to describe what happened on his and Dean’s final hunt. He did his best to describe everything to her – and found that having to do so with his hands really helped, because he didn’t have to worry about his voice cracking. Then she asked him what he’d been doing since, and he told her that too – along with an apology for not contacting her sooner.
‘It’s okay,’ she signed. Then she asked him the killer question: ‘And how are you coping without him?’
How was he coping without him? ‘Not well,’ he signed. ‘If it hadn’t been for Miracle here – I think I wouldn’t have made it this far, to be honest with you.’ He pulled a face. It was the closest he’d yet come to admitting to anyone just how close he’d come to ending his own life, stretching out ahead of him like an endless highway, with nobody sitting by his side.
‘I’m glad you’ve made it this far,’ Eileen signed back. ‘It’s good to see you again.’
There was an awkward pause. Sam drained his coffee and then petted Miracle, just for something to do with hands.
‘So – what happens now?’ Eileen signed to him.
‘I think – you-’ Sam stopped, waved his hands in a clearing-away gesture, and started again. ‘I would like you to be a part of my life,’ he signed. ‘If you want to. However you want to.’
Eileen nodded, thoughtfully. Sam knew a moment of pure panic – what if she was going to tell him to get lost, that she’d already found somebody else and wanted nothing to do with him ever again? And that moment of panic told him that actually, no matter how close to the edge of despair he’d gotten over these last months, he did want something more out of life – he wanted Eileen beside him.
‘I would like to be a part of your life,’ she signed, eventually. ‘If you’ll let me in.’
‘I will try my best,’ Sam signed back to her. ‘But – you should know – me and Dean – we were much closer than most brothers. Without him – it’s difficult for me.’
‘I understand,’ she signed. ‘And I don’t mind.’
‘Really?’ Sam accompanied the sign with a pleading look – the kind of look Dean had always called his ‘puppy-dog eyes’.
‘Really. I like you, Sam. I like you a lot. You’re a good man. And if you’ve got baggage – well, I have trust issues myself. We can take things slowly, and I understand if you need time for yourself, sometimes. And maybe I’ll need some time for myself, too.’
‘Thank you,’ signed Sam, and meant it.
Eileen sighed then, and looked away, briefly, before turning back to him.
‘I want you to be honest with me, Sam,’ she signed.
‘Of course,’ he replied, although his heart sank at what she might ask him. Being close to a dead brother was one thing – actual Game of Thrones, Flowers in the Attic incest was another.
She didn’t ask him about the incest. Or at least not in a sexual way. That would almost have been preferable to what she did ask him.
‘Do you think you and Dean were – or are – soulmates?’
Sam blinked a few times, and had to ask her to repeat the question. She did, even saying that word ‘soulmates’ out loud for his benefit.
Well, he’d promised to be honest with her. ‘Yes,’ he signed. She just nodded.
‘I thought so,’ she signed.
‘Is that – a problem?’ he asked. ‘Do you – not want to be in life now?’
‘It’s okay,’ she signed. ‘Thank you for being honest.’
‘Is it really okay? Being with me, knowing I’m soulmates with – somebody else?’
‘Most people never meet their soulmates, or never have one in the first place. I’d rather be with you, knowing you’ve told me the truth, than somebody I don’t know if I can trust.’
Sam nodded, slowly. It made sense. Sort of. To be sitting here, with Eileen, talking about his dead soulmate.
‘Shall I get us some more coffees?’ Eileen asked him.
‘Please.’
***
           He and Eileen did take things slowly, at first. Then it felt like they accelerated their life together. After Miracle died – the dog had already been old when he and Dean had found him – it felt like the last thing tying Sam to his old life had gone.
As he hugged the old dog to him in the vet’s office, he whispered to him: ‘You’re a good boy, Miracle. You go straight to Dean now, tell him I’ll be all right.’ Miracle just nuzzled Sam a little, and Sam felt the simple love in that gesture, hoped he could take the message to Dean.
He sat in the front seat – the shotgun seat – of the Impala for a long time after that, crying his eyes out. And yet, he no longer wanted to drive off a cliff. He wanted to stay alive, for at least a little longer. He messaged Eileen, and started driving before she’d even answered him.
When he turned up on her doorstep, she saw the absence beside him, and invited him in without a word.
Shortly after that, they got a house together, in upstate New York, parked the Impala in the garage, under a dust sheet, and started their new life. They got married, in a very low-key ceremony, only a few people – their old hunting buddies – present. Eileen got a job in computing – helping to design and test user interfaces to be suitable for the hard-of-hearing. And, while she didn’t say anything to him directly. Sam realized that, if they were going to settle down properly, he should really get himself an actual job. He hadn’t been a hunter for some time – he’d stopped without even realizing it. So he finished his legal training, and finally qualified as an attorney. It felt weird to be doing a ‘normal’ white-collar job at last, but he consoled himself with the thought that, with all the pro-bono work he did, he was still saving people – and hunting things, in a different way.
A few years later, although Sam had never really seen himself as a father – Dean was the one with the strong paternal instincts - they had a child. When they came to thinking of a name, Sam was filled with all sorts of suggestions – but Eileen shook her head, and signed at him ‘How about Dean?’
And Sam didn’t like that idea at first – it felt too much like revisiting the past he’d tried to leave behind – but the more he thought about it, the more he found he couldn’t think of his little baby boy as anything other than Dean. So Dean it was, and would ever be. He had another Dean in his life now, and he gave his son all the love he had.
He never forgot the other Dean – how could he? – but gradually, over the years, he accepted that he had other people in his life now, who were more important to him than his dead brother. At least for now, and now was the only time that really mattered. He got the Impala out very occasionally – one Halloween he even sat behind the wheel wearing his costume of an old Grandpa, complete with cheap grey wig.
Eileen and he rarely spoke about the car, or the old Dean. His life before her, and their son, became something packed away in a box that he only rarely got out looked at – like the amulet he still kept, tucked away, and occasionally took out. Whenever he did so, he admired the golden gleam of the metal, still untarnished after all these years, and let himself fill up with all the aching sadness that was normally stoppered up.
***
Time worked differently in Heaven. Dean knew that. It took him a while to get used to though – however long ‘a while’ was here. He kept expecting things to change faster than they did, or for people – and Miracle – to age and wither away. It was an adjustment to realize, gradually, that here things just went on and on – unless you changed them yourself. And Dean didn’t really want anything to change, not really. He wanted everything to go on as it was, until –
Until Sam arrived. Dean accepted that he shouldn’t wish his brother would hurry up and get there – they’d have eternity together, after all, and wanting eternity to start sooner made no sense. Not when he’d told Sam to live on without him. He wanted Sam to live a full life, to hook up properly with Eileen at last, get a job, wear some dorky sweaters, even have a kid or two. Enjoy all the apple-pie-and-picket-fence stuff that he, Sam, had always wanted, and he, Dean, didn’t.
Did he? Hadn’t part of him always enjoyed cooking for his little brother, taking care of him? Hadn’t part of him longed for Ben to be his son? Hadn’t part of him wanted to settle down and have a family?
Well, in Heaven, all things were possible. He could find somebody else – like Rufus had Aretha – and have a new life, for a while at least. However long ‘a while’ was, here. He didn’t know how to start finding someone, though, or who that someone would even be. Whenever he tried to imagine sharing his afterlife with anyone, only one person ever sprang to mind.
And then. One day – one moment – when he was standing on the bridge, enjoying the view over river and the forests, Miracle by his side. He felt, without being able to say how he felt it, that his brother was here. At last. Or – time worked differently here. Maybe not at last. Maybe he was right on time.
Eternity had to start sometime, and Dean guessed it was starting now. He smiled.
‘Hey Sammy,’
He turned around. And there he was, exactly as he remembered him. After however many years it had been for him on Earth. Sam looked a little tired – as if the last few months of his life had been a lot to bear. And – almost shy, almost as if he was worried Dean wouldn’t want to see him any more, that he might somehow have moved on, in the time before he arrived in Heaven. Well, for better or worse, he hadn’t.
‘Dean,’ said Sam, and met his eyes, and smiled.
They embraced, Miracle rubbing himself against both of their legs at once. As they did so, Dean felt something hot pressed against him, and when the drew apart again, he saw a light glowing from Sam’s pocket.
‘Is that…?’
Sam dipped his hand inside his pocket, and pulled out the necklace. The amulet. The only thing you can never buy in Heaven. It was glowing, as it had done in the presence of God, except now –
‘I think that means,’ Dean started to say, but then Sam cut him off.
‘I know,’ he said, and lifted the necklace to put it around Dean’s neck again. Dean ducked his head without even thinking, and felt the weight of the amulet fall into place once more. Once more – and forever. And finally, he felt whole again. He had been reunited with the other half of his soul, and he was now complete. And he always would be.
Sam and Dean leaned together against the parapet of the bridge, and knew they had eternity to explore all the vistas of Heaven. Together.
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Anonymous said: 
What are some blogs that you consider part of your rp family?
> Aww anon this is a really cool question. Well I have a particular group of people that are pretty much my always follow. I know people do those follower forever but I haven’t done any before. I get overwhelmed as it is with the amount of people who follow me but some blogs that I will never not be following are: 
@coffee-and-guns​ @theyearningtofly​ Uh hello. Have you seen the babes Lotus and Asuka? Feli has some dolls right here and I stan them to death. They don’t get the interaction or attention they deserve and I will fight until they do. Lotus is 60′s pre-tumblr babe. I’m talking OTP from the onset. He literally will destroy the city of Detroit for her. He will go to hell and back for her. It’s amazing how much this ship has taken over my life but our crazy amount of verses and aus is very telling. We have a ton of plot. Lotixty reigns supreme. And Asuka is my Connor’s waifu as well as Callum’s wife. Best babe.  @diivinerose​ Daniela is not just one beautiful muse. She is so diverse in her three verses that she is pretty much a multi. Curly is my chaos doll but also a shy bean with such great ideas. Our aus are another wild treasure trove. Each verse has something favorite in it. Each rendition I love and DD60 considers Main D his true love. Mad D is the other half of the toxicity known as Corla with my boy Corvus. The ship of Main D and Connor was a surprise in the beginning. I didn’t expect it but I’m glad it happened. Cause I just love her clinical coolness against this supposed cool machine who has more emotion than he should now as a deviant. Best Babe.  @stayhuman-genevieve​ @leaderawakened​ @pathdiverted​ Gen is amazing. Markus is tops. 52 is a babe. OK but also Amanda, Louis, Anarchy the list goes on. All of these muses are amazing and it’s just such a privilege to write with such a wonderfully developed original in Genevieve. She is 60′s weak spot. The ruthless one gave up Cyberlife for Gen. That takes some doing. But they have a ton of shit they went through including a terrorist takeover by that aforementioned Anarchy. We have such great plot ideas and I can’t get enough of them. Main Connor and Markus for my gal too. Main Markus all around. I love him damn it. Genevieve is also my Connor’s waifu. DD60 on the other hand.... just don’t let him alone with Corrupted Gen. OTP status right here. Best Babe. 
@dcwnxism​ @soulxism​​ @lethalxarsenal​ @wintcrcoded​ @resentfuldrcgon​ OK but here the list goes on as well. All of these muses canon and original are just amazing. Iron is the queen of angst. Hands down the best at making me cry. One of these days I’m gonna get her back for all the pain. lol Not only is Nines (now known as Cassius) my canon RK900 but my 60′s exclusive 900 bro. That took some doing let me say. Aiden is 60′s soulmate. Sixden is a ship I never expected but it snuck up on me. I love him. I love Lexi so much. She needs more attention. The one Gavin my Connor will put up with.... as an enemy of course. Oh and WuXian? Caleb loves him already. They will shine bright. Best Babe. 
@creatorofclay​
Did somebody ask for the only Kamski of my life? Well look no further than Kam/Ash/Clay right here not only making me appreciate Elijah but turning me to liking him as a character. I didn’t think much of him when I played the game. But let me tell you waifu right here writes him with such humanity (even when he’s being an ass) that gives such a new perspective. 60 is still on that creator nonsense but it’s in the demon au where he gets to shine with his affection or rather verbal brawls effectively with Elijah. My exclusive Kamski. Don’t @ me. Best Babe. 
@rk800isalive​ @imabittercoffee​
Waifu spotted! My platonic soulmate right here. Eme is someone who gave me a wonderful springboard for Sixty to get his hate on with Connor. That hate took a turn I never expected early on. These two wound up getting over their altercation at the tower. They wound up becoming siblings. The only Connor that 60 considers a brother in his main verse. Let me say the work up for this was some good old work. We wrote so many things with them and still do. I adore their human au. Let’s not forget Sierra. I love this bitch. She’s such a contrast to Caleb but man I’m digging it. Also she is the unofficial goth wife of Corvus but you’ll never hear it from him. Or...will you? thinksmirk Best Babe.
@et-liliium​ @musesdivine​
My baby Cherry has wonderful original dolls and I still miss them. BUT I’m super excited to see Lily on her own blog and my babe slowly getting back into the fandom. Sixty is looking to corrupt that sweet flower but it’s Connor that is absolutely in awe of her. He is in love. Let’s not forget Lily being the good to Corvus’ bad. We got some good shit planned for them. She’s the android Suzanne pretty much ;) Seriously check out these wonderful female muses. They are amazing and deserve all the love in the world. Best Babe.
@robobiitch​
Let me throw some love on Moe right here. Yall wanna see full on enemies with Sixty? Look no further but man we have some good ass plot with assassin au with a little dose of angst. Lust already hates/loves his brother-in-law in the other demon verse. The shenanigans are bound for some good shit. A wonderful Connor and that’s the bottom line cause ruthless sixty said so. Literally such a fun and cool person. I love plotting and just hanging. Best Babe. 
@anderson-residence​
Have you seen these muses? I love every single one and Alley always has something in my inbox that either makes me laugh or worry. lol Sending YK to Corvus is probably not the best idea but I love it. I love chatting about aus, plots and everything in between. Each muse is one I enjoy seeing and I really want to interact more with all of them. Sixty just wants to push Hank’s buttons and probably wants to kill Connor but.... lol Best Babe.
@rxseguided​ @repliicantceo​
A literal bab right here. Jesse, Eli and Elliot are all originals that bring so much more to the plate. If you haven’t seen Jesse in action what are you doing? The evil bitch’s daughter herself? Well then sign me up. Cupcake is a doll and her muses are chef kiss. Got it? Good. Lust loves his angel mom but DD is also in love. ;) Elliot is legit one of Corvus’ official cronies. That’s an honor in the worst way possible. Gotta love that human sk verse with Corvesse. Best Babe.
@triptocained​ @syntheticisolation​
Let me tell you all a story about a fed drenched in heavy rain..... No this isn’t a pun. I swear but Norman is literally a highlight and I’m looking forward to that enemies shit with Sixty. Bringing Jayden into the DBH universe is the best damn thing to happen. Danny brings him to life perfectly. I haven’t seen anybody else do this much justice. Norman is yours alone and deserves all the attention. Also let’s not forget Richard. Look I love this knife happy bastard. 60 still wants to show off Monica but he can wait as long as it takes. Always a pleasure to see on my dash. I’m in love. Best Babe. 
@fearlessandchaotic​
Original babes need more love and Hana his no different. Ely has such development and constant shenanigans I love to see on my dash. It’s always wonderful to see but also Sixty is over the moon for Hana. He hates to admit it but the best thing was coming back to his fiery fox. These two have such chemistry with their ruthless selves they’d sit around and poke fun at people instead of working on a case. Seriously go give the female muses their due love damn it.  Best Babe. 
@vexeddetective​
Vex is a precious babe that I adore the hell out of. Sixvin is here fam. Sixty likes to push Gavin’s buttons. We all know how that shit goes down. I will legit protec this babe. Not Gavin tho. He can fight his own battles and most likely end up wrestling with Sixty. That might end up messy good. Also Lucifer.... whenever he pops up my gal Jade is just: well he’s tall and scary. She probably secretly has a soft spot for him. We’ll have to find out. Please go follow for these two muses. You know you want to bishes. Best Babe. 
@swat-cptn-allen​ @det-gavin-reed​
My canon Allen right here. There is no one else who puts this much love into this muse. Webby is a literal precious bean. Sixty loves and hates Joseph. DD is definitely sof for him. Let that sof boy show his dom ;) I love the way Allen is given more development and his own unique persona from the little we see in game. I never imagined liking this character that much but Webby certainly has made me a fan of him. Please go give my canon Allen some love! Best Babe. 
@ambitiouslyruthless​ @fragmented-personage​
Goov is a babe. I have followed them for a while now and Vius was always a unique bab to see on my dash. Sixty still wants to pounce on him. Results may vary into ruthless territory BUT let him love on this original muse. He deserves more attention and love. Let him be that bastard to Gavin. Such a unique portrayal of Gavin that is totally one of my faves to see. I’m excited for the werewolf/vamp thread. Also can’t wait to see what happens with them in their main verses. Best Babe. 
@thirum-stained​
Always a delight on my dash and one of the earliest people to give my blog here a chance. Luna is a doll who has so many amazing muses and not just in the DBH fandom. Vanessa is Sixty’s waifu. She snuck up on him by surprise. He never imagined to fall in love but he sure did here. I adore all of the muses you tackle. I want to interact more with all of them. They’re forever follows on my dash for a reason. Best Babe. 
@theveryfirst​
This is my one and only Chloe. My literal canon babe. No one else compares and Heather is an all around sweetheart with amazing ideas. The plotting is always something I look forward to as well as just being able to chat. One of the earliest to follow me and still going strong on that forever follow list. Sixty adores Chloe. He feels for her more than he’d ever realize. Until he does. Corvus is still waiting to gets his hands on this angelic android. Best Babe.
> There are so many of you who follow that are so talented. It’s near impossible to give love to you all but there are some new babes who just followed that I’m looking forward to writing with. <3
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Me, throughout the entirety of 6x05:
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And I suppose I could just leave it there but NO, we’re doing a LIST. Of all the excellent things from “Prom Night!”
SPOILERS!
AV Club reviewer giving this episode the first ‘A’ of the season: :D
AV Club reviewer still insisting that “Midvale” was filler: D:<
Forever destined to disagree with the AV Club reviews in some way or another...
Okay, so! We begin with a very helpful reminder from Alex that things are different, in this Post-Crisis World!
(I mean, on the one hand, am I slightly distressed that key aspects of the Pilot and the WHOLE of “Midvale” are now gone, along with Earth-38? Yes. 
On the other, Kara remembers her lived-experiences of everything that had transpired in the Earth-38 timeline, so they still sorta happened and have informed her characterization. 
So...it’s fine. It’s fine. This is fine.)
I do love that, ‘Kara punched a meteorite out of the sky’ is now a Thing That Happened, though. 
(Well perhaps NOT ANYMORE but I’m getting ahead of myself.)
KENNY LIIIIIIIIIIIIIVES!!!!!
“Scooby-Duo” listen, as someone who has already imagined all these kiddos in Hanna-Barbera cartoon style, running around Midvale, solving crimes and saving the day, I loved this description.
Alex being like, ‘DO. NOT. SCREW UP. MY PAST.’ ahhhhh we love to see that scary Older Sibling energy on full display.
And then Brainy and Nia are off to the past!
The only thing that could’ve made the utterance of ‘totes’ worse would’ve been the addition of, ‘magotes’. Thank goodness they exercised restraint in the writers’ room.
FORTUNATELY the terrible ordeal of reliving dated slang is offset by some truly excellent lines and line-reads throughout the rest of the episode.
For instance! Loved Brainy’s, ‘the perfect optical illusion’ and ‘off the dash, please.’ So great.
Other honorable mentions: ‘Damn it, Mitch!’ ‘That’s a LOT of exposure’ and I forget the line itself but when Cat’s like, ‘normal town my a--’ and then the cut to commercial break AAAAAHHHHHH so good.
Okay, back to the episode, Nia and Brainy, on the Legion Cruiser, AND THEN!
AND THEN AND THEN AND THEN!
OUR KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDS!!!!!
I love them. It won’t happen, but gosh, I want a Midvale spin-off so bad. 
Like, the Crisis retcon made some space in the girls’ past for a spin-off to actually...kinda work. 
(But sustaining the premise across multiple episodes/seasons would be tricky and there would always be the threat of running up against like. The current show’s continuity.
But hey! They could just ignore it, I guess! That’s what the Superman show is doing!) *insert frowny emoji here* 
So the kids have gathered with Alex for milkshakes, which is delightful.
But ALL IS NOT WELL! As Alex reads about the ‘luckiest town’ and is like:
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(Except with a lot more anxiety and frowning)
I feel as though we already knew Alex went to Stanford but I can’t remember if Kara’s (terrible) resume revealed that she went to National City University?
*Checks* Yes it did.
Another thing I LOVE is just. Alex as the Responsible One, whose anxiety is perpetually cranked to a 9.5, driving the Scooby-Duo around in the suburban mom van for super-ing jobs.
Also, ‘super-ing’ is an excellent verb, 15/10
Young Cat Grant! ....More on her later.
Nicole and Jesse did such a great job with the comedy in this episode--their initial attempt at a cover story/lie is so good. 
And the masterful transition into an actual good lie that Nia knew would win Kara over...VERY NICE.
Kara being so obviously thrilled that there are OTHER ALIENS! WITH POWERS! HERE, IN MIDVALE! RIGHT HERE!
Fandom has ruined the whole ‘Kara has golden retriever energy’ as is their way but I must say...very much getting ‘excited puppy energy’ here. 
Nia and Kara comparing powers was so CUUUUUUUUTE!!!!
As was the picture on Kenny’s desk of him and Kara. D’aaaawwww.
(But OH NO SADNESS...BECAUSE A BREAKUP IS IMMINENT.)
Okay in addition to all of the incredibly adorable content we also get lots of FAMILY FEEEEEEELINGS, which: Yes, good, yes.
But Eliza is only here as a PICTURE on Kara’s nightstand and a NAME on Alex’s badge, I am sad. :C
(Hope Helen Slater is in this last season at some point...need that soothing mom energy after all the Phantom Zone angst)
I think I’m out of order now but Kenny wanting to help Kara help people is just. The most adorable thing. 
Spoiler alert: I use the word ‘adorable’ a lot in this list. Sorry...but also not. 
The Brainy music when he’s in the school computer lab watching the printer is really great. I think we’ve heard it before, but it meshed so well with the whole vibe of both the character and the episode, just stood out nicely, I guess.
Okay, so. Do we think that Jesse could always do the baseball bat tricks, and the writers wrote it in, or do we think that he learned them for the show? My money is on the former.
Either way, very impressive.
And now for the truck situation! I kinda thought it would turn out that it was Cat’s doing, as she was trying to suss out the ‘super’, but nope, it was the blue dudes.
(Which makes more sense, since they have no qualms about endangering other people.)
And ON THAT NOTE, the blue guys! They are the perfect level of ridiculous, and they are wonderfully straightforward in ways that the Phantoms are not.
Also, I love that one of them is named Mitch?
Nia and Kara save the day!
After Kara busts the brakes and is like, ‘uhhh....they’re not working’
I noticed the Metropolis license plate and while yes it’s a little strange that plates are...apparently city-based in this corner of Earth Prime, stranger still is that Cat presumably drove clear across the country to check out this story. Right? Like, that’s the only way she has that plate out in Midvale?
Wait, wait. Totally forgot to mention Kara and Nia’s EXTREMELY OBVIOUS ‘don’t be suspicious’ sunglasses gambit at the Midvale College campus you absolute DORKS.
Right, so.
Remember those FAMILY FEELZ??? WELL!
We’ve got Nia’s call to her mom, which, oof. OOOOOF. 
And then we have even MORE FEELINGS aka: The garage talk.
Okay. OKAY. So even though I’m a little sad “Midvale” no longer occurred in Earth Prime’s timeline, I am fascinated by the ways this new series of events have impacted Alex, Kara, and their past. (Also thrilled that Kenny lives, natch). Alex’s resentment and the burden of ‘protect Kara, PROTECT KARA’ have been left to simmer while Kara’s determination to help people has led to some...earnest but slightly careless secret hero work. The building blocks of the conflict introduced in “Midvale” are still there so while it might at first seem a little...repetitive, for Alex to lay all this out to Kara, it’s really just the reveal of a new boiling point; a post-crisis update on the scene in Midvale where Alex is like, ‘I had two parents before you showed up.’
AAAAAAAAAHHHHH IT’S EMOTIONALLY DEVESTATING I LOVE IT. 
And then like. The new, but also not-new angle, of Alex leveraging her world-weariness against Kara’s youthful optimism/somewhat reckless desire to help, and then Kara throwing BACK that she’s explored other solar systems. 
The LAYERS.
Also that Alex is like, ‘we need weapons, let’s tell mom and also call the DEO,’ classic Alex.
The garage talk ends with Kara determined to come clean to Kenny...BUT OH NO, THE HERO HIDEOUT IS SO CUTE, AND KENNY IS SO DEAR. 
And the reveal that the almost-kiss in “Midvale” actually happened d’awwwww these kids. 
Like. I am legitimately torn, here. I totally understand and support Kara in being honest with Kenny about the whole college situation--but also GAH. KENNY IS SO NICE AND CUTE AND EARNEST. 
You know what ELSE is nice and cute and earnest?
Nia singing “9 to 5″ to Brainy to cope with stress and boost morale.
Heckin’ adorable, gosh.
Aaaaaand some other stuff occurred as the episode closed out but I don’t have them in my notes and BASICALLY I want the next hour like, now. Right now. Because this was WONDERFUL. FROM START TO FINISH.
So some Overall thoughts!
I said we’d get to Cat ‘CJ’ Grant later, so here we are: I...think I liked her? Overall? It was a performance that gradually won me over, is how I would describe it.
Absolutely wild that Cat built a media empire in a mere six years. 
Also her whole, ‘I am going to find this extraordinary being and name them and kick Lois Lane into the classifieds’...I mean she eventually gets two out of three, there.
As I already started to mention, sad that Eliza wasn’t here! But it makes sense, since a lot of this, Kara is trying to keep on the DL.
Obviously, I am ALWAYS down for these flashback situations with the young Danvers. But it was also nice to take a break from the Phantom stuff. The plot here is simple/streamlined in a way the Phantom stuff...isn’t. I love the emotional character stuff coming out of the Phantom Zone arc but wow, the Phantoms are just. Needlessly complicated. 
The little episode recap where Lena is explaining that Phantom Prime is like a bloodhound was like, ‘oh right, they do that too...in addition to all the other stuff that they apparently do.’
So, yes. Welcome change.
The change of scenery + type of action was nice too!
Though RIP to everyone’s hair, fighting against the moisture.
This episode also handled the Brainy/Nia relationship really well, IMO. Like, due to the whole, ‘trying to fit so much in, always’ approach to Supergirl episodes sometimes results in a bit of...one-sidedness, for various characters. Think for instance of Kelly needing to cheer everyone on in episode 2, but not having space for her own feelings/emotional needs in that episode.
I’ve felt that a bit with Brainy and Nia thus far--one will sort of take up more narrative space, so the relationship feels a little lopsided.
NOT SO HERE! They are both going through some stuff, they are both struggling to cope, they both come to rely on one another for help. 
YES. GOOD. YES!!!!
Something I’m loving about season 6 overall is that so far, it doesn’t feel like the plot is stepping on character development too much. Like, it still isn’t a perfect balance, and some episodes manage it better than others, but compared to season 5? Leaps and bounds.
Everything was so nicely tied together and the dialogue was witty, the humor was delightful, EVERYONE WAS ADORABLE AND EARNEST AND DID I MENTION ADORABLE?* but they never lost sight of the themes and emotional through-lines and GAAAAAHHHHHH MIDVALE EPISODES ARE THE BEEEEEESTTTTTTTTT!
*Okay Alex was mainly stressed out but that’s to be expected.
TL;DR - Best episode of the season thus far? Best episode of the season thus far. 
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missmudpie · 2 years ago
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Name Ten Films That Have, For Whatever Reason, Stuck With You
@millennialfangirl tagged me, and this was harder than I thought and I might have gone over the ten.  Also, tumblr is being tumblr and not cooperating with gifs, so only the first film has one.  Here they are, in chronological order:
Casablanca, 1942
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Look, Casablanca is the best film ever made.  Is it my favorite?  No, but it’s the best, much better than Citizen Kane, which is often heralded as the pinnacle of cinema but is about a rich old white guy who loves his sled.
Here’s looking at you, kid.  Of all the Gin joints.  Round up the usual suspects!  I’m shocked - shocked!- to find that gambling is going on in here (Your winnings, sir.). This is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.  As Time Goes By.  Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman and a supporting cast to die for.  Renault throwing away the bottle of Vichy water.
I could go on, but here’s why Casablanca has stuck with me: It’s one of my Dad’s favorite movies, too.  When I think of Casablanca, I think of him.  One Christmas (I can’t remember if I was in high school or college), the old timey theater in town played Casablanca.  I got us tickets as his Christmas present.  It is one of my favorite movie-going experiences (more on that below).
Star Wars, 1977
When I was little, we used to go to my maternal grandparents’ house every Tuesday, and I would watch Star Wars.  I was probably waaaaay too young - there’s audio of me playing out Star Wars with my My Little Ponies and I was like, three.  On my college essay, I wrote about how Return of the Jedi was my first movie (true story, I was six months old and slept through the whole thing, because apparently taking your sleeping infant to the movies is something parents did in the ‘80s).
Star Wars is where I learned about the Hero’s Journey.  About princesses and rebellions and wizards and flying spaceships.  I devoured the Timothy Zahn books and Young Jedi Knights series.  And yes, I’m a little down on it all after Episode IX - but I still love it.  It has impacted me in so many ways.  I know my life would be the poorer for not having seen it.
Raiders of the Lost Ark, 1981
If Princess Leia was the first damsel I saw who get herself out of distress, Marian Ravenwood was the one who solidified the idea that women were perfectly capable of getting into and out of trouble themselves, thank you very much.  Then there’s Harrison Ford in being Peak Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones - Intelligent, clever, brave-bordering-on-reckless.  Who wouldn’t want to go on far-flung adventures to find hidden treasure, and maybe punch some Nazis while you’re at it?
The Goonies, 1985
Speaking of far-flung adventures, how about going on one in your hometown?  Booby-traps, pirates, Italian gangsters, Sloth, hidden treasure - it’s every kid’s playtime fantasy come magically to life.  I still want to go down those tunnel slides and shoot out into a hidden lagoon.  They just don’t make movies like this any more - fun, family movies that don’t dumb down the action or characterization for kids, that’s a ride for both kids and parents alike.  This was the first movie I showed my kids during quarantine.
The Princess Bride, 1987
Inconceivable.  The Six Fingered Man.  Death cannot stop truly love.  Only mostly dead.  Have fun storming the castle!  Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya.  You killed my father.  Prepare to die.  ROUSes.
This is a perfect movie.  It is.  It is lightning in a bottle and it should never, ever be remade (those were just rumors, right?).  This is romance and humor and suspense and two of the best swordfights in cinematic history (fight me on this.  No, really, fight me.  I took fencing in college because of this movie), all wrapped up in the sweetest Happily Ever After.  I love it so much.
Jurassic Park, 1993
I’ve told this story before, but here it is again.  In the summer of 1993, I was 10 and my sisters were 8 and just turned 6, and we convinced our parents that we were for sure old enough to see Jurassic Park - a book my mother had read and thus knew what level of horror to expect.  It did not go well.  I ended up burying my head in my dad’s chest; my youngest sister was in my mom’s lap; and my middle sister, with no where left to go, ended up under the seat in front of her.
Now, it’s the movie we quote (Hold on to your butts).  When my youngest had jello recently, I told him to hold it up and look scared, then texted the picture around.  We all knew immediately what I meant.  The DVDs are given as gifts and then immediately stolen.  My youngest sister can recite the entire movie.  I can’t wait to scare my sons with it.
The Shawshank Redemption, 1994
I don’t remember this movie when it came out; I remember it was this movie I hadn’t really heard of at the Oscars, where it won none.  Not until I was much older did I realize what a travesty that was.  I first watched this on a pep band bus trip in college - not the time or place to truly appreciate it.  Months later, I rented it (remember renting movies?) and fell in love with it.
This is a beautiful movie about friendship and hope and finding light in the darkness.  It’s always on TV, and I will always stop and watch at least a few minutes of it.  The ending - the last half hour, really - is pure cinematic poetry, but noting beats Red’s monologue as he travels to find Andy on that Mexican beach.
That Thing You Do!, 1996
This movie is Capital-D-Delightful.  Just thinking about it makes me smile.  This is the movie that tipped me from Tom Hanks Fan to I Love Tom Hanks and Need Him to Be My Best Friend.  He WROTE and DIRECTED this gem of a movie.  The talent.  The song is legitimately catchy, the characters are Wonder-ful (see what I did there?), and it’s all in Day-Glo ‘60s color.  I love this movie and make no apologies.
Toy Story 2, 1999
Speaking of Tom Hanks, this is my favorite Toy Story.  Look, the first is a technological marvel, but Woody is an ass throughout most of the film.  The fourth is it’s own thing, and the third is really, really good and I ugly sob at the end, but it’s also got a lot going on there.  But the second - oh the second is beautiful in its simplicity.  In addition to all of Andy’s toys, we get Jesse and Bullseye and even Stinky Pete.  It’s an ode to friendship and love and the realization that life, for toys and people, eventually ends, and we have to appreciate every moment we have now.  It is my favorite Toy Story.
Finding Nemo, 2003
I don’t know if it’s my favorite Pixar film, though.  It depends on the day, but most of the time that distinction goes to Finding Nemo.  I first saw it when I was twenty, a decade before my first kid was born, but it has greatly influenced how I parent.  The conversation between Dory and Marlin in the whale, the idea that keeping anything from happening to your kid cuts both ways, the leap of faith, the mantra of “just keep swimming,” the notion that your kids don’t just want, but need to have independence - it’s all there, in Pixar’s stunning ocean animation.  I get choked up just thinking about it.  “Now go have an adventure!”
Honorable Mentions:
Forrest Gump, 1994
I loved this movie.  I love Tom Hanks in this movie.  I would watch it in snippets during college, while I ate dinner or lunch or just needed a quick study break.  But it’s been years since I last saw it, and I wonder if it still holds up.  It’s a Boomer movie made when the Boomers were - basically, just a little older than we old Millennials are now.  It’s American history in the last half of the twentieth century, but the big events - Vietnam, Civil Rights, even AIDS - are filtered through the lens of a straight white man who kinda wanders into history but doesn’t really get why the moments are historic.  I feel like it’s a film I appreciated at a certain time, but wouldn’t love as much now.
Avengers: Endgame, 2019
There just hasn’t been enough time for this movie to make the list.  Ask about it again in ten years.  Although, to be honest, I haven’t seen the whole thing since I saw it in theaters, and I fear it won’t live up.  It was the best movie-going experience I’ve ever had.  The crowd was so into it, and the last battle had everyone, me included, screaming at the screen.  Part of what makes Endgame so special to me is that, among the three big franchises that ended last year (Avengers, Star Wars, Game of Thrones), this one actually stuck the landing.  And yes, I could argue that Steve Rogers’ end doesn’t actual make any sense and deprives Peggy Carter of her agency - but in the emotional moment of the film, it worked.  That portal scene is the culmination of twenty-plus films, and I still can’t believe it works as well as it does.
Thanks again for this! I second tagging @lerayon for this.  I feel like I’m kinda cold-calling mutuals from our Arrow days, so no pressure.  But I’d love to hear what @machawicket @dust2dust34 @dettiot @theshipsfirstmate​ have on their lists.
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salmonthestoryteller · 2 years ago
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Creator’s Appreciation Week - AU
In one way this was the easiest set to choose, and in another way not.  For one, I love AUs, Fusions, and Canon Divergence.  So that makes it harder for me to choose.  Luckily, however, it was one of the last days in Creator Appreciation Week - and since my goal was not to repeat a fic,  that meant getting to decide to assign some fics to other days.  To all the creators who have taken time to create delightful alternate universes, mix together roswell with other stories in glorious fusions, and explored delightful what ifs with Canon Divergence -
Thank-you!
Dr Isobel Evans and the Fountain of Youth https://archiveofourown.org/works/20337673 Isobel Evans (alien, archaeologist, professor) never believed that the fabled fountain of youth was a real thing, until Alex Manes showed up and sent her on a wild goose chase after it, all with her ex-girlfriend at her side. Boy I’ll Hunt You Down https://archiveofourown.org/works/20250376 It turns out that when you sleep with a man's youngest, then steal his prized stallion to escape, your face ends up on a wanted poster. When the man who got you in that situation goes into the bounty hunting business and comes hunting you down, it's usually not a good sign. Lucky for Michael, Alex Manes isn't the kind of man who plays by his father's rules.  By: @andrea-lyn
Freaky Friday https://archiveofourown.org/works/20206054 the one where alex, maria and liz are the aliens By: reachedthebitterend
raise the black, for my heart will not surrender https://archiveofourown.org/works/19719028 Alex climbed the ladder thrown over the side of the boat, helped over the rails by a thin blonde woman, curled hair pulled back barely hidden by her hat. The captain of The Aphrodite was known to Maria, but never before had their paths crossed. It was unfortunate for Captain Jenna Cameron that she made an enemy the day she struck a deal with Jesse Manes. By: @michaels-blackhat
don't you ever tame your demons (but always keep 'em on a leash) https://archiveofourown.org/series/1434232 alexander manes is the son of the head of the new york institute. along with his friends and fellow shadowhunters kyle, liz, and rosa, he protects the new york streets from demons, aims to keep downworlders in check, and is hoping to remove his father from power. his very careful plans are thrown into disarray when three warlocks seek his and his friends' assistance with the removal of their own management. the trio introduce more chaos into the shadowhunters' lives than they ever could have imagined.
Let me count the ways https://archiveofourown.org/works/19419148/chapters/46213624 liz ortecho isn't allowed to date until her snarky, determined-not-to-date brother, alex ortecho, does. luckily, one of her suitors has a plan. well, max goes to isobel for a plan, which involves getting their brother, michael, to woo alex. or, the 10 things i hate about you AU By: Milzilla
An Indentations in the Shape of You https://archiveofourown.org/series/1459804 After their impromptu first scene, Michael and Alex discover just how perfectly they fit together and decide to continue their D/S arrangement and see where it takes them. Even if that's far from just an arrangement and well into the realm of the heart... By: @signoraviolettavalery
Trying to find my piece of mind https://archiveofourown.org/works/18004889 Alex doesn't understand why his husband has been so distant lately, but he's determined to get to the bottom of their marital problems. One way or another, he's going to get the answers he so desperately wants. By: @alexmanes
Ad Astra https://archiveofourown.org/works/18698983/chapters/44347522 Michael’s been picked up off the floor of more bars than he can count. Usually by irate bartenders, occasionally by begrudging crew members of whatever ship he’s serving on... and then there are the times he’s been arrested… But he can say without a doubt that it’s been a long, long time since he’s been hauled up off his ass by his old Academy roommate. AKA the Star Trek AU that won't leave me in peace. By: @beamirang
Bitch I’m a Monster https://archiveofourown.org/works/20396026/chapters/48377665 For three years, Alex Manes has remained isolated, trying to keep the people he cares about safe from the monster inside of him. After being changed in the middle of a warzone, he's got more questions than answers about his condition ... but none of that matters when he wakes up stranded in the middle of the New Mexican desert with Michael Guerin, starving. By: @seeaddywrite
Love is a Burning Thing https://archiveofourown.org/works/18725632 Alex frowns down at him. “What are you doing on my couch?” The stranger rakes a hand through his curly hair, making it stand up even more. “I don’t know. Did you kick me out of bed?” “You were never in my bed.” “You sure?” he asks, lips spreading into a slow, sly smile. “Because you definitely look like somebody I’d wind up in bed with.” Alex raises an eyebrow. “I can assure you, you’d remember it if you’d slept with me.” (aka The AU Where Michael Drunkenly Breaks Into The Wrong House And Ends Up Stealing Alex’s Heart.) By: @sabrinachill
Of Guitars and Kitschy Logos https://archiveofourown.org/works/18036494/chapters/42620477 When two people who are uniquely compatible experience a moment of such intense feeling as to never be replicated, a bond forms. The hows and the whys vary but one thing has always been clear - only humans form bonds. But that was before we were aware of honest to goodness aliens living in New Mexico. Some might say that aliens are incapable of such emotions, that a soulmark is beyond them in every way. Others would disagree. And they have evidence on their side. By: Bestillmyslashyheart Hope https://archiveofourown.org/works/18132005/chapters/42870116 Michael has been getting ill lately which is weird because as long as he's been on Earth, neither him, Max or Isobel have ever gotten sick. So, he goes to see Kyle Valenti and what he finds out will fuck things up, that's for sure because this mess is no place for a baby. (Mpreg) By: StarrySummers04 The Less You Know the Better https://archiveofourown.org/works/20019106 “I didn’t think you would show.” Alex spins around, taking in the masked man standing behind him. The beautiful hazel eyes he dreams of are watching him, taking him in. The curls, normally hidden underneath a black cowboy hat are flying freely, still looking as soft and beautiful as always. He’s wearing the same outfit he’s always in, black jeans and a black denim jacket overtop a white t-shirt, cowboy boots and large belt buckle. A vigilante known as The Cowboy is still hilarious to Alex, but damn if the mystery man doesn’t make it look good. By: @el-gilliath
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