#jokes on him i was already doing that

[glassofpumpkinjuice]

the final piano medley of the US leg of tourdust. (8/6/23)

jet pack blues. dark alley. golden.

#fall out boy #tourdust #patrick said everybody sob and cry and weep right now #jokes on him i was already doing that #fob #medley

[ocdhuacheng]

So laios and fallin have been ostracized by society since they were children, Marcille has lifelong grief from constantly outliving her loved ones that leads her to dark magics, kabru’s village was destroyed by monsters, senshi and mithrun both have horror movie level backstories, izutsumi was sold as a freak show attraction, and then there’s chilchuck, who is a normal ass divorced middle aged man. And somehow he’s the most shady and secretive out of all of them

Edit can y’all please let me live I didn’t make this post bc I think chilchuck doesn’t have his own trauma or doesn’t experience racism or that being a union boss is a walk in the park or whatever I made it because him lying that he cheated on his wife to get the others to stop asking about his family was funny as fuck. Come on.

#edit: GUYS THIS IS A JOKE POST STOP TAKING IT SERIOUSLYYYYYYYYY #WHY DO YALL GOTTA BE 'well actually☝🤓' #LIKE I KNOW ALLAT ALREADY.. I SIMPLIFIED IT FOR COMEDIC VALUE LET ME LIVEEEEEE #anyway. #divorced father of three and he acts like hes about to be put into witness protection #literally obsessed with him #.txt #dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi spoilers #<- just to be safe for anime onlies

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

a couple scribbles i cleaned up. also i think i like drawing him in varying states of distress

#i desperately want to know what happened the first time he cried #actually is that something he can do? is he capable of it? #i feel like he wouldn't like it... #since crying is messy and we all know he enjoys/values his appearance greatly #i mean cmon. its an involuntary loss of composure. and especially if he doesnt understand what/why its happening #so in my mind rn hed be idk... kinda desperate to stop crying & act fine? #HES SO FASCINATING. WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM <3 #many things probably! #what to do when you're a puppet created as a blank slate while everyone around you already Knows Shit and Understands Feelings #scribble salad #welcome home #welcome home puppet show #welcome home fanart #welcome home wally #wally darling #i know there's a lot of Head Empty jokes abt him #but honestly he gives the vibes of thinking constantly #always absorbing information and considering and learning and Forming Opinions #he LOOKS head empty. but he isnt. #i just cant imagine him never not Thinking #unless he really is head empty in which case. good for him. i support him no matter what. hes just like me<3

[leverage-ot3]

I’ve talked about this before but imagine what it’s like for someone in a country/place where eliot is Top Most Wanted and then your tech guy finds a breakout star baseball player on their visual scanner that looks EXACTLY like spencer. but…there’s no way that’s him, right???

and then the next year it happens again but this time it’s some one hit wonder country singer kenneth crane that has like 78 tween-run fangirl blogs dedicated to him. you see a grainy video of him being chased by a horde of screaming teenage girls and ??? no way Eliot Last Thing You’ll Ever See Spencer is a country singer star just. signing pictures of his face right…?

a few months later your intern shows you footage of an eliot lookalike who is in san lorenzo talking about how there is dog fighting in the presidential palace and you just. sigh. because of course. a scant few days later the political geography of the country changes drastically and damien moreau is imprisoned. …interesting

and then a year of silence goes by. he still shows up as blips on the radar but he must have a good hacker working for him because his tracks on the internet are expertly erased.

every time you ask through interagency channels some random interpol guy talks in (condescending?) riddles at you and it also somehow feels like he’s threatening you

and then your friend who recently got into foreign hockey teams sends you a dropyourgloves video of someone called jacques the bear. you immediately get a headache (and watch some more videos because even you can admit this guy is a good hockey player)

and you know he’s a Bad Guy but it’s been admittedly a bit entertaining seeing what claim to fame he will come upon next. and his most recent actions over the few years make you wonder.

a few months later your phone pings because multiple heads of state evacuated from DC. the reason? eliot spencer was in town. you hear two days later a bioterrorist was taken down by… the report was redacted. your hacker tells you spencer and two teammates were behind the successful operation. which, huh.

not even a full year later it is released that spencer is dead and… you don’t know how to feel.

#sorry this turned kinda angsty I just think eliot famousaliases spencer is a great reoccurring joke #eventually an indeterminate amount of months later you see him pop up again and you breathe #at this point all the intel you’ve gotten points that he’s actually doing something good with his life #like he’s changed. and you know he’s a bad guy but he’s doing things that nobody else is really capable of doing. making changes on large #and small scales #he will face consequences eventually you are sure. but his tracks are so well covered already and he’s so slippery so maybe. maybe you just #don’t make your agents work so hard to track him down #you get to know sterling a bit better (and maybe understand him a bit better too) #sterling invites you to an off the books lunch at this brewpub in portland when you’re in the states. the head chef looks familiar #it’s the best food you’ve ever tasted. because OF COURSE it is #at this point you’re not even angry. or resigned anymore. you’re slightly impressed #anyways that’s how sterling’s leverage club gains another member #(mcsweeten was the second member btw. if you’ve seen my other posts) #eliot spencer #eliot spencer meta #headcanons #humor #leverage #jim sterling #(mentioned) #the studio job #the blue line job #the three strikes job #ficlets #mine #a post not on my queue??? more likely than you think #I should make a tag for in universe pov posts #into the leverage verse #headcanons in the tags #the rundown job

[mxtxfanatic]

Fandom Gripe #23: I know that fandom is in some deep denial about its treatment of female characters that are canonically involved with fan favorite m/m ships, but do y’all realize that when you disappear female characters from the narrative wholesale to push the idea that your canonically straight fav was “secretly gay all along!” you’re making several bad implications? That 1) bi men don’t exist, 2) bi men do exist, but those who have genuinely loved a woman before cannot genuinely love a man after that (therefore bi men don’t exist in practice), 3) women cannot inspire genuine love and devotion in men, therefore any relationship with a woman is “lesser” than the one they later have a man (see previous parenthesis), or 4) to acknowledge the existence of a lovable woman who isn’t a terrible person, where if a relationship previously existed, it did not end because of “incompatibility,” is enough to destabilize the present relationship between two queer men?

Because why is the tgcf fandom allergic to acknowledging that He Xuan had a whole ass fiancée that he loved? Why does no one ever seem to remember that the kidnappings and murders of He Xuan’s sister and fiancée were the final straws that sent him on his rampage, and he still keeps a shrine to them in the present-day of the story? Why is her entire existence and significance to He Xuan as a man, character, and to his character arc disappeared in favor of pushing Shi Qingxuan—the brother of the man responsible for his fiancée’s death—into that same role, as if to say that her impact on He Xuan is significant... just not when it's from her? Why does He Xuan’s life in fandom essentially begin not just after her death but because of it?

#tgcf #human gripes at fandom #anyways these are rhetorical questions because I already know the answer #i just absolutely hate it #why do y’all hate female characters so badly 😭 #especially when they ‘get in the way’ of m/m ships? #mxtx shows that woman more respect in the book than fandom does outside of it #and she didn’t even give that character a name! #simply embarrassing #i could have also talked about jgy here #but let’s be real: that man never loved qin su (or anyone) #so i did not want to include him when discussing people who are *actually* capable of unconditionally loving others #but anyways #mdzs fandom sure loves to either disappear qin su #or act as if she’s the one responsible for why their precious ‘meng yao’ can’t just hop into bed with his bros #you know? the one he killed and the one he used as an accomplice in his murder? those bros? that he so obviously loved with sincerity? #at least moreso than he could ever love a *woman* amiright? #(for legal purposes that last tag was a joke) #i also really hate the implication that he xuan had no life before shi wudu ruined it #that in fact shi wudu made his life 'better' by tying him to shi qingxuan #the romanticization of shi wudu's actions to make way for a ship is... a Choice

[cursed-child-autumncookie]

There is something INHERENTLY homoerotic about the relationship between a pirate captain and his first mate. Even the title is gay. First mate? Yeah I bet he is...

#i already made this joke in DMs with my mutual but it was too funny not to share with the public #how do I tag this I wanna be acknowledged uhhh #pirates #jokes #one piece #zolu #kidkiller #<- because those two were what i was thinking about when i made this joke #(this applies to other genders too I just used he/him because of the characters I was thinking of) #(and I thought it was funnier)

[lokh]

mom avoids dead anime mom curse because he transitions. he’s always had a complicated relationship with pregnancy because of how woefully little people are told about potential complications and aftercare, and also because of how gendered it is, so after the birth of his second child he’s finally had it and decides to transition

he joins a local community group for mothers and at first it’s played for laughs how often they fall to the dead mom curse, but soon we find out more about how society has failed mothers and people who give birth, from information being withheld, procedures being carried out without consent, lack of accommodations and maternal and paternal leave, racism…

it also turns out that becoming a man doesn’t help with this, not really, because being a pregnant trans man brings its own problems. follow along as he learns more about being a parent and a mother, and maybe even… finding love???

coming to you never because I can’t write!

#if the japanese is bad. MY BAD LMAO #this was also a joke for me at first but then i was like well hang on..... #my initial romance thought was his husband leaves him after the transition and eventually a new single father ends up joining the group #cos he like. idk misread the flyer as being a new parents group but the group accepts him with open arms #and hes drawn to the only other guy there and well u know wink wonk. #then i thought well come on thats not. very nice rip what if his husband sticks with him. #but thats why u have more than one trans guy LMAO so it doesnt become bad tokenism!!!! #the older kid also has a complicated relationship with his mom transitioning tbh #art #wow original art from me... ummm. #he also wears glasses but not all the time #GRAPHIC DESIGN IS (NOT) MY PASSION!!!!! #I WANT YOU TO KNOW IF THIS WOULD EVER BE WRITTEN IT WOULD BE GROUNDBREAKING INCREDIBLE. #but it wont because one that would imply that i finish writing anything ever. #two it would require so so much reading. which you should be doing you should be researching. #but the point is there would be a lot because i would think 'oh it had to be perfect' and then would never do it. on top of already #never finishing anything.................. #ocs

[mooseonahunt]

The way Luis asks for a cig when he first meets Leon and Leon responds with “You know, those things will kill you” and then Leon ends up lighting Luis’s final cigarette for him just guts me. Makes me lose my mind. I’ll be having a good day and then I’ll remember that and I’ll be inconsolable.

#GOD IM SO SAD OVER THEM #I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY ABOUT THIS PARALLEL IN PARTICULAR #it’s like… Leon is the cigarette ya get me? #Leon is not a good person to be around. Luis jokes about it himself (Hanging with you? Not healthy!) #but he sticks around anyways just like he knows cigarettes are bad for him but he still smokes them. #Just... Leon lighting that last cigarette for him. #Resigned to the end and doing one last thing for him bc he's already a dead man so why not? #luis serra #luis serra navarro #leon kennedy #leon s kennedy #Serennedy #Luis Babygirl Serra #resident evil 4 #resident evil 4 remake #re4 #re4r #moose posting

[cuoredimuschio]

okay, but where's my steddie AU where steve wants to learn to play guitar to impress a girl he's infatuated with and he remembers that munson kid was always hanging up posters for his weird band at school, so he hikes out to eddie's usual dealing spot behind the track and asks (with far less groveling than he really should have) if eddie will teach him how to play, and obviously eddie says no because why would he want to help king steve, but of course, steve offers to pay him, $20 a week, and well, that's the kind of get-the-hell-out-of-this-shithole-town cash eddie really can't afford to refuse, so fine, he'll teach steve to play and they'll spend inordinate amounts of time together tucked away in eddie's room and they'll start to see that they have more in common than they thought and that they kind of had each other all wrong, and eddie will put his hand over steve's to help him get the placement for a tricky chord and it totally won't awaken anything in either of them?? where is it??

edit: i started writing it

#steve x eddie #steddie #stranger things #someone tell me this has already been written because i need it. please. #bonus points if steve shows up to the first practice session empty-handed #and eddie nearly calls the whole thing off when he has the Audacity to grab at eddie's sweetheart as if eddie'd ever let him play her #and he doesn't even teach steve anything that day because rule number one get your own fucking guitar and keep your mitts off mine #but by the end when eddie is deep deep deep in love and it's time to send steve off to woo this lucky girl of his #he offers to let steve take his sweetheart because she's guaranteed to make him look ten times hotter and cooler #and he'll have no trouble sweeping his girl off her feet and maybe eddie's breaking his own heart but it's fine—as long as steve's happy #except steve doesn't seem nearly as happy as eddie thought he would be #he seems sad actually and eddie kind of hates that so he starts to make some lame joke about how steve should be honored #because eddie wouldn't lend his baby out to just anyone and that gets steve to crack half a smile #but then he puts the guitar down on eddie's bed (with all due gentle reverence) walks over takes eddie's face in his hands and kisses him #kisses him like he's been dying to do it for weeks. because he has #because somewhere along the line it stopped being about wanting to impress a girl and started being about wanting to be with eddie #it started being screwing up on purpose so that eddie would grab his hands and show him how it's supposed to be done #and forgetting about lessons entirely and just sitting around and listening to eddie talk or just watching him play #because somewhere along the line steve fell out of infatuation and into love with the last person he ever expected.... #anyway idk where i'm going with this

[zeeckz]

(x)

#metal gear #metal gear solid #mgs #liquid snake #friend sent me this reel yesterday n i was like “that's liquid” (he's a gymbro to me). then she mentioned the sunglasses (i didn't realize) #and i was like. hold on. i can see him dressing up as kaz and doing this shit at his funeral... #and then hours later i saw someone here drawing a discord convo about kaz's last words to ocelot #so i kinda felt a sense of urge to do this bc they were winning us w the kaz death jokes n ive already lost battles to other memes #like the two guys holding each others head n touching their lit cigarettes. couldve done that months ago but im a procrastinator #ive already seen like 3 different versions i feel defeated

[time-to-write-and-suffer]

Ugh everyone dunking on Steven are soooo cringe 🙄

Shane and Ryan are grown men who stood by this decision, so please dunk on them too lmao.

#watcher #sorry i think it's funny to dunk on steven and his tesla and expensive lifestyle and finance bro ways #i just think it's unfair to forget that they let him do that!!! they looked at that and went 'yeah i'll stand behind that' #so #let's dole out the dunking accordingly #but i do get why ppl hone in on steven specifically because like #the optics of going 'we're strapped for cash!!! anyway here's our new show about me traveling all over the world and eating gold!' #are not great good buddy ol' pal #they are in fact EXTREMELY hilarious #to be clear i'm not saying go and harass them #and in fact most that i've seen are people making the same sorts of gold-flake tesla jokes which i think are understandable #considering the aforementioned optics #i just think people hand-wringing over all the 'hate' steven gets are forgetting that he's living a life 90% of his audience can't afford #*because* of his audience #ALREADY #ya dig??

[tianhai03]

when ethan says no to turning rose into a weapon or smth idk

#get it. bc theyre both called heisenberg. both him and mr white. get it do you get the joke #idk if anyone's done this already me and bf havent stopped laughing at this for like an hour i had to draw it out FHRJSDH #resident evil #karl heisenberg #allyart

[milkbreadtoast]

o yeah btw i liked these guys from the latest crk update..... detective gays.... macaroni and cheese....🤭

#i finished the story it was fun #whyd i have to get invested in the cookie npc yaoi... need them to kiss #i thought cheddars design was kinda boring (esp after the golden cheese update where every design slapped... hes also cheese...) #and he looked rly similar to almond so i think they couldve made him look more diff #but i still liked them LOL... esp macaroni cookie he's sooo cute #tsk macaroni cookie does everything... hes even an attack dog... what do u do cheddar cookie? #ur lucky to have such a cute smart and useful hoobae...😙 #i saw some cute fanart of them on twit so i'm happy :) #joking i dont think cheddar is completely useless but it makes me laugh bc he has the #'my job here is done ;)' 'but u didnt do anything' *dramatic exit* vibe #at the v least he's good bc he has faith in his partner...😙 #if they arent already dating theyre def gonna start dating... doesnt take a detective to figure that out... #like stop playfully bantering in front of me🙄 #oh btw i liked their kr voices so much #cheddar's voice was... insanely good how could they just use this voice on an npc #like his voice makes up for any complaints i had on his design #and macaroni sounds cute... i looked it up and apparently its jeong ui-taek?? who also voiced archbishop cream and 1 of captain caviars crew #voicing a bunch of cute npcs but no playable cookie yet... #im curious how they sound in other lang tbh...

[rabbitindemun]

I will never get over this fanfic..

here ya' got, some FlatDreams doodles i did, sorry if it's a little confusing, i wasn't in the whole mood to draw, but i was reading the fanfic again * sobbing * and i was CRAVING for drawing a bit of it- (and some little billy drawings because, well, he's my spiritual animal HSHAH) (btw if you have any ideas or recommendations for drawings or minicomics please let me know... I want to draw these beautiful creatures of evil and my mind is DRY-) just in case

#flat dreams #bill cipher #liam cipher #kryptos #kryptbill #the gang of interdimensional criminals and nightmares #teeth desperately trying to tell a joke without wheezing is a mood for me #kinda weird to draw tho- #kicking my feets with this story oh my gah- #*giggles* #It's 4:39 in the morning #I haven't slept #and I've already eaten 7 lemon popsicles #What am I doing in a tropical country #Please put me in the refrigerator #it's not a joke anymore 😭 #look at that little anarchist #he's so evil and adorable #i lov him #* proceeds to melt * #update: 8 lemon ice popsicles*

[narwhalandchill]

oh my fucking god i feel. SO stupid rn at How i didnt make the (super sane very normal just absolutely. Yes. Surely) connection earlier but uhh

so anyway im now like 89% certain that whatever the "traces" of the narwhal that remain on ajax and facilitate their (ever-growing) innate connection are like. an actually fundamental aspect of it (them?) more or less.

why? because if you consider its pov just for a moment. the narwhal was literally about to depart teyvat for good. it had nearly finished consuming the primordial sea and preparing to breach surface to finish the job by eating the french for the leftovers their human bodies were made from. its an interstellar voyager it does not linger on planets it devours. it goes glug glug and it leaves.

and like if it wasnt for traveler intervening its confirmed through narzissenkreuz and renes world formula that teyvat wouldve just been destroyed. no one could have stopped the narwhal not neuvillette not focalors not anyone.

so what was the one other thing it did right before going for that french brunch? calling for ajax. getting them reunited in the primordial sea. like all the possible implications aside bc theres many different ways to speculate on the exact reasons why and the nature of that link. the point remains.

it wasnt leaving teyvat without finding him.

like the narwhal is about to fucking Dip from this cringe planet and whatever part of it that ajax carries within himself his narwhal Absolutely wanted to be reunited with. what the fuck am i supposed to read from that. hoyo???????!??! answers?!?!?!

and its not only the calling from the narwhal side itself either bc this is ALL coinciding with the growth of a 'restless power' within ajax and his vision malfunctioning (the things celestia is literally confirmed to harvest energy thru to repair its damaged authority) and his connection with the narwhal reaching an actual conscious level (arguably subconscious n emotional too bc i find it Curious his mood is poor right as the narwhal is repeatedly described as positively malding to the point its boss fight mechanic is literally a rage meter). ajax' power is growing. his destiny is starting to shift and something is drawing him to fontaine... right as the narwhal is getting close to finished with the primordial sea. funny how it overlaps eh. how it aligns 🤨🤨 why are they orbiting each other like this (they should kiss)

(& not to even Mention how ajax just Happened to get that absolutely exponential and borderline unbelievable feat of power spike in extending his foul legacy endurance as massively as he did. while. within the primordial sea. with his narwhal. who had at that point all but incorporated the power of that sea into itself. i s2g if childe was getting passive home turf co-op bonus exp with a 4x multiplier automatically the whole 40+ days 💀💀)

#man the way its lovely reunion but tjen ajax fucking ATTACKS IT ON SIGHT you couldve gotten married!!!!11!1 fucking unbearable i am in agony #anyway contrary to popular belief we still have no fucking clue whether ajax' link to the narwhal was innate #skirk saying the traces remain on him after meeting it isnt saying tht much. the parts he shares w it couldve well been innate but dormant #instead. also just the fact that he woke it up already shady #then like. monoceros caeli being his from the beginning is completely plausible despite ppl acting like its been confirmed his const change #and like them being halves of the same entity on some lvl would make the narwhal being so weak without him n until ajax found it again #make very much. sense. anyway ajax toxicity jokes aside if the narwhal was just trying to eat him point blank without even a hello #i do get why hed react aggressively. but also bros been telling everyone n their mom hes fighting his narwhal the seconf he finds it again😔 #so i feel somewhat confident in assuming he started that 40+ days brawl #anyway if ajax Isnt the celestial narwhal on some level or possibly becoming it as their link grows. #riddle me this atheists. why is his 3rd phase boss theme. the song about His individual murderous rage at us #bc he thought he was outplayed by us. His personal wrath #whys the song for that called the wrath of the celestial narwhal. of the star swallowing whale. Hmmmge. his individual rage. #why does tusk of monoceros caeli speak of him embracing the narwhals innate qualities as embracing mere parts of Himself #funny how tjat goes!! (the OST n boss drop is not 100% serious theory but it does drive me insane. bc why would they phrase it like that) #anyway either theyre 2 halves same original entity or theyre soulmates idgaf . they should fold teyvat in half and eat it for brunch #aaand im going to be consumed by this realization for the next month wish me luck #WHY DID IT NEED HIM THERE SO BADLY???? HUH?????? #i mean relatable dont we all. but its sooooooooo inch resting. Curious indeed #rambles #genshin #childeposting #childe

[notmoreflippingelves]

Me walking up to the HBO Velma’s writer’s room:

#fred jones #scooby doo #hbo velma #velma hbo #pretty sure this has already been done but whatevs #this is mostly a joke but like not entirely #the rest of the scooby gang deserves better as well but fred is my special sunshine boy #tbf i might also have sent this to james gunn if i had been a scooby doo fan in the early aughts #since he also did freddie quite dirty in the live action movies #but live action movies were actually my first exposure to scooby doo and i didn't like them so i didn't know better then #but now i do #and frank welker is the only one i really trust with fred #which is probably why they didn't let him voice fred for velma #since he would've set them straight on the ooc-ness right away #and this is also supposedly why scooby isn't on the show #not frank welker specifically but like the execs at WB who wouldn't let their doggo #anywhere near something that was contrary to his spirit/character