#just to be clear i don’t think anyone in a fandom has a responsibility to respond to or share posts on serious issues

[neil-gaiman]

Hi Neil.

I know you are flooded with asks and this somehow became extremely long. Too long. “Why am I suddenly telling this poor man my life story?” too long. “I think I’d rather he work on the GO3 script than read this wild beast” too long. “He’s going to think you’re criminally dangerously insane” too long. If you never get to it, I’m good with never seeing a response from you. Maybe it’s better that way? Maybe an anon would have been nice here. But, it’s 2024, so I say “we ball.” It’s a privilege to be able to send this to you at all. You get a lot to this effect and I hope they give you good feels, so maybe what’s the harm, yeah? Because this is not an ask. This is a thank you letter.

First, thanks for reblogging my therapist post, I hope it amused you. I nearly sent you “How am i supposed to explain this to my therapist?!” But refrained. At that time.

So, therapy. What is therapy really? Well…

Things have been really rotten for as long as I can remember. Bad health, bad doctors, bad relationships, bad coping mechanisms, bad all kinds of things. (Yeah, bad is a weak and unhelpful word, my therapist reminds me, but we’re doing this.)

Well, things got even more really really rotten and BAD these last few years. Health declined further, coping mechanisms declined further and more intensely, packed up my life, applied for disability, moved back in with my parents across the country.

Then 4 years ago last week I watched my fiance die of a sudden heart attack. I was 29. Two years later my best friend died. Then last summer I sauntered vaguely into a cancer scare. Not long before an operation my cat who has been my companion through so much garbage died as well. I’m not entirely in the clear on the cancer scare front. All my attempts at going back to work, volunteering, going to grad school - they collapsed on me because I couldn’t get through this STUFF.

(Sometimes when I talk about this, when I tell people, I think “they are going to think you are a raging pathological liar.” Because I’m not sure I would believe someone if they told me all of this happened to them. In such a short time period. All before they were 35. And hell if that hasn’t been isolating. You know how it sounds? Lonely. And it is.)

I did the hypervigilant and sensation/experience chasing stage of PTSD. It got me in a lot of trouble in all kinds of ways. I had to do a lot of medical and psych advocating because things kept getting worse. That was exhausting. Then that peaked. I went into the thick of the “I feel absolutely nothing” stage for a long time. I didn’t feel fatigue or hunger or thirst. Not people, feelings, a reason. Not hope.

But of course, like seems be for a lot of us, I somehow found Good Omens at just the right time. I was a very “I’m so cool and intellectual I mostly consume non-fiction media” person for too long. Like, what? How is that even a real thing? And it wasn’t real. It was just part of this curated autism mask that I don’t think anyone really bought anyway.

I think I got to a point where I’d just had too much reality. I needed fantasy. I didn’t realize I always needed it. But I denied myself for too many odd and painful reasons. Maybe I thought it was an escape I didn’t deserve.

But as it turns out, it wasn’t an escape. I watched both seasons last fall, and then this light came on. I watched it again and again.

I came to tumblr because I needed more. I found this fandom. I stepped into this beautiful world of fanart and fanfiction and brain flexing meta writing and a sense of community and wonder that you and Terry created - that everyone involved in the show inflated - exploded in the right way - like fireworks if fireworks were some kind of autocatalytic reaction - a self perpetuating force.

It’s not a “saved my life” feeling. Not a “getting my life back” feeling. It’s been a “maybe it’s time for you to have the life you’ve always been denied - that you’ve denied yourself” feeling.

I’m creating. I’m not “great” yet. Not terribly “good” at all. Maybe “behind” as far as the “proper” timeline for starting. I know there isn’t one, not really, but boy does that society machine make ya feel like there is. And sure, I started and stopped a lot in the past. But the second it got hard I always gave up. I felt like if I didn’t get it “right” to begin with, then I just didn’t have it in me at all. But for once I’m really in it. I’m writing and trying to draw things that look less like fever dream five year old drawings. (Not that there’s anything wrong with those, is there? 🙃) I’m eating better. I’m sleeping better. I reach out to old friends more. I’ve made new friends who share this love of Good Omens.

My therapist has been floored by the change in me. After that first funny mini flop, he has been so encouraging about it. I saw him this week and I said “Maybe this is helping me get prepared to start living again. Maybe it’s a springboard.” And he honest to god said “But You ARE living. This is YOU LIVING. Why does it have to be a springboard? Why do you have to turn this into ‘work?’ Just let yourself have this for once in your life.”

But there were two more added elements that made it all work. And I can’t help but think this whole brainrot thing wouldn’t have happened without them. So many things just happened all at just the right time - a proper coincidence.

In all of the madness of the last few years I finally got the memo that I'm autistic. i figured I was for a while. But it finally sunk in for me and my docs and my people. So I’d been working on unpacking that. Grieving the life that could have been entirely different, shedding the mask. I let myself hyperfixate openly instead of hiding it and hating myself for “spiralling” or “obsessing” like others -!like ‘I’ always punished myself for before we knew that it was a trait and not a personality flaw.

Then over the last few months my therapist and I started trying this new exercise. One session he stopped me and said “in the last 20 minutes you have responded to what I’ve said with 9 ‘I knows.’” My response to that? “Ugh, I know.” So we started this “I know” swear jar type situation. Really, I’ve been afraid of not knowing. I couldn’t let myself “not know.” Because it meant I was “dumb.” I was just drowning for so long in guilt and self loathing for the “I knew better and screwed up anyway.” Or “I should’ve known better - I should know that by now.”

As it turns out, there’s a lot of things I don’t know. That I didn’t know. Things I will never know. And refusing to admit all of that kept me from learning a damn thing. Kept me from asking questions. Kept me from trying new things because it was scary to do something new - something unknown - and I "knew" how it would all turn out anyway. Kept me from connecting with people because it was painful or embarrassing when they knew things I didn’t and it seemed like I already should have. Kept me from getting better at making art, music, writing. Kept me from forgiving myself. Kept me from growing. And kept me from moving forward. Maybe not on. I don’t know if we ever “move on” from things. But we can move forward as we carry them. And as we do, the weight gets less. We’re able to carry it better. But only if we can admit that we don’t know how. Only if we don’t treat ourselves like this is something we do know or should know and we’re just failing because we’re less than. Not good enough. Not strong enough. Not deserving. We have to be able to say “I don’t know how to do this.” And then we can start looking for the answers. We can ask. We can learn.

I thought about the apple. Being able to tell the difference between good and evil. Aziraphale’s years and years of watching what he “knows” to be true be proven wrong. Crowley’s need to ask questions…

The simple and enormous gift of “Knowledge.” The “Knowledge” of the difference between Good and Evil. The “Knowledge” that can only be gained by realizing, accepting, admitting that there are things we don’t know. Asking the questions. Sometimes we get answers we don’t like. Sometimes the consequences of asking hurt us. And unless you want to stay in that painful place that painful knowledge got you, well, you’ve got to let yourself learn how to get out.

So all of this good? I never expected this. I never thought I deserved it. Joy and belonging and this sense that “Yeah, maybe things can get better. Maybe things can be good.” Because I said those things, not truly believing them, to the people I thought needed to hear it. But it couldn’t save them. It was hollow. The proof for us wasn’t really in our orbit or on our radar at the time. And now they’re gone.

People always say “it’s never too late.”

One of the people I lost said “it’s later than you think.”

I jokingly would respond “it’s already too late.”

It was for him in the end. For them. For some people I guess it really is. But maybe a lot of the “too late” people are there because they think “they know” that things will never be good for them. So they stop looking, they stop asking, stop finding. And eventually they just stop.

Then there came Crowley’s “It’s always too late.” The first time I heard it I thought “For sure, Crowley-cakes, I KNOW.”

But then…I just needed to rewatch the whole thing. And lines like that…familiar things…familiar themes…I was suddenly identifying with these characters. I suddenly saw myself. And the realization hit - I connected with something! Something new. And I FELT THAT. And that tiny little crack that made in the wall was just enough to start breaking it down. Yeah, when you start letting yourself feel after not feeling for so long, opening up to the good feelings means opening up to feelings and then the bad ones come out too. But when there IS good … it helps you balance. You can deal with the bad a little better because you’ve got the good thing to lean against when it gets too much. And now you’ve got feelings. You’ve got good and bad. You’ve got sticky foggy grey. You’ve got life.

Whew.

So, TLDR, thank you. From the bottom of my slowly healing heart, thank you.

And to sign off with some shits and giggles… I couldn’t find this in existence as a sticker so I had to custom order. Perhaps this will spread misery and panic among the humans of my city - or at least a malignant and creepy sense of unease.

Or maybe they’ll say “wtf” and go home and google it and they’ll fall into the Good Omens hole they never knew they needed too.

Thank you for this. I never quite know what to say to messages like this apart from I am really glad that it helps. (It becomes the weird extra piece that I worry about when writing season 3 -- hoping that it will be that thing again. Not just a story, but something that helps people feel and helps with healing and helps with love.)

[cancerian-woman]

Hi! I would love to hear why you think Klaus and Bonnie would be a compatible or at least fascinating match :) I can tell you're going to turn me into a Klonnie shipper even though the last thing I need in my life is another doomed OTP!!

Hey :D I love a good doomed ship it makes the fandom more interesting especially in terms of creativity tbh.

Bonnie had proven herself to be just as morally corrupt as other characters as needed. Sure, it wasn’t to the extreme of others but it existed especially if her friends were threatened. That type of loyalty and strength would be what Klaus would like because of how possessive and selfish he is.

There’s Bennett-Mikaelson connections through the lore of TVD. Ayana was Esther’s mentor. Abby entombed Mikael. Then in present there’s Esther prasing Bonnie for being the one to fight Klaus. Elijah recruited Bonnie to do it. Both Bonnie and Klaus have parental struggles on both sides. Klaus is more forefront than Bonnie’s but it exists. Tagging my friends content here :).

Klaus was introduced with an affinity for witches (Gloria, Maddox, Greta..)it was just dropped after well you know ;). But in a sibling light I could see both Rebekah and Kol taking a liking to Bonnie. Rebekah wanted that normal highschool experience and Kol was formerly a witch. We got a little bit of Kennett moments in s4 but that was dropped. Bonnie is the only TVD character to never have her own side friend out the group.

Narratively TVD would’ve just had to work with their few key points to make Klonnie a slow burn ship from s2-4 tbh. Bonnie kept getting the short-stick. Season 3 she got cheated on, her mother abandoned again, she had all the reasons to distant herself from her friends and end up in someone’s darker arms. The Mikaelson Ball ep Esther is leeching off Bonnie and her bloodline yet Bonnie is no where to be found… huh… Bonnie doesn’t get enough in universe credit for her actions because she has not only nearly killed Klaus she has saved his life(and everyone else’s.)

Season 4 Bonnie was dipping into a darker side with Expression and she blindly trusted Shane just to learn magic. It would be another moment for Klaus to try and get in her good graces. Klaus would have to open up emotionally for Bonnie to sympathize with him. I think they would challenge each other. Bonnie is one of the female characters who can fight back to people who are trying to harm her in a way Elena or Caroline can’t tbh.

Bonnie wasn’t just any witch either she was a Bennett which her family is responsible for nearly everything in TVD. I don’t think Klaus would’ve suddenly became a “Disney prince” type of BF by any means but I could see the relationship working. Klaus is still an elitist bastard with years of knowledge Bonnie would want. Bonnie is willing to give that loyalty to anyone who is good to her. Cami is seen as good and she even falls for Klaus lmao.

Last point people only play morality clauses with Bonnie because the series does. By the end of TVD Bonnie considers Damon not Elena or Caroline or Matt her bestfriend. That should say enough about what Bonnie would allow but….The writers and fans will argue that Bonnie doesn’t deserve to be paired up with toxic men or women but TVD never introduced anyone that was “morally good” by our world standards. Even Enzo physically harmed Bonnie pre-relationship. The other leads are white and never held to the same standards. Elena said it was Stefan until it wasn’t. Caroline said no to Klaus until she didn’t. Hayley’s arc includes with her fucking Klaus and dating Elijah… the list could continue.

Hope I made it all clear 😁.

Tagging some of my friends accounts who love Klonnie too: @klonnieshippersclub @melmedardasworld @mythorhuman @24kmagiic @bennettmaximoff

#ghosts-of-cangel #enemies to lovers exist for a reason #klonnie has no business being that hot i can’t believe i forgot that part #bonnie bennett #tvd #the vampire diaries #klaus Mikaelson #klonnie #Bonnie x Klaus #Klaus x Bonnie #the originals #dria responds #kol mikaelson #kennett #Rebekah Mikaelson #bonbekah

[the-other-art-blog]

Richard Gunningworth: *ignores Sophie for years, barely acknowledges her existence, makes her feel unloved, gets married without considering Sophie, does nothing to defend her against his wife’s abuse, doesn’t take the proper measures to secure her future if he dies*

The Bton fandom: “I think Sophie’s father really loved her. He must have been in love with her mother. Yes! It was forbidden love! Poor baby, he ignored Sophie because it was too painful to see her.”

Violet: *loses the love of her life when she was 8 months pregnant, suffers depression, has a traumatic birth, suffers post-partum depression, recovers and dedicates her life to raise her children and makes sure her children live a HEA*

The Bton Fandom: “what a horrible mother, she should have been there for Anthony. She’s an absent mother! She’s the worst.”

Make it make sense.

If Violet would have died and Edmund would have crumbled, everyone would have made excuses for him. Stop acting as if Anthony raised those children alone. Violet was depressed for a while, but then SHE raised them. And before Edmund died, they were loving and involved parents.

People forget too easily all the damage Richard did to Sophie.

Let's just recap all the shitty things he did in the book.

He abused his power as a wealthy heir to take advantage of a poor maid.

He left said maid alone, even when he knew there was a possibility of getting her pregnant. And yes, we don't know why she left, but if he cared he would have done something.

He let Sophie live with him because he had to. The book is clear in that he is not happy about her arrival and decides to treat her as a ward. Now, yes, this technically gave Sophie many opprtunities, but he only did it to safe his reputation. He made her pay for his mistakes.

He abandoned her in the country while he spent most of the year in London doing who knows what. Sophie grew up completely alone, except the servants. She had no friends ebcause everyone knew she was an illegitimate child.

When he is in the country, he barely spent time with her. Although I believe he asked for reports from the governess and knew she could be an accomplished woman.

He married Araminta without ever considering Sophie. If he cared about Sophie, he would have mentioned her to Araminta before proposing to her. No loving father would have made any decision without making sure that his new wife treated his daughter with respect. In fact, Araminta was treated as a fool here too, cause she deserved to know. As horrible as she was, she deserved to know Sophie existed, and the fact that Richard didn't think it important to tell her shows how privileged and horrible he was.He was a very wealthy earl, he could have had anyone. He was only 36 years old and if Sophie looked like him, he should have been handsome.

When he presented to the whole staff, he totally forgot about Sophie. He wasn't even planning on making a formal presentation!!! That scene breaks my heart cause Sophie beams when he tells her he didn’t see her. Like how despicable you have to be to make her feel like she’s forgetable and more insignificant than a scullery maid. Let’s not pretend that this messed up with Sophie’s self-esteem.

He didn’t take measures to protect Sophie’s dowry. He left her money... and then what? There were no further instructions on what to do with her. Did he plan to arrange a marriage? How could he have trusted Sophie’s only opportunity for a good life to a woman who hated her?!?!?!?! An ambitious woman who only cared about money and status.

He was aware of Araminta’s treatment towards Sophie and he allowed it. As horrible as Araminta was, the only reason why that woman came near Sophie was Richard. And Sophie knew it.

I know the dowry was extremely important to Sophie, and it does prove that he acknowledge her existence and his responsibility. But honestly, it wasn’t enough. Even if he was already thinking about a future for Sophie where he dies, he could have been more specific in the will. Or, he could have left instructions to his lawyer. What if Sophie didn’t find a husband? Could she have gotten access to the money? I do believe he would have searched for a decent man, but I don’t think he planned a HEA for Sophie, merely a man willing to overlook her illegitimacy. I don’t think they would have had contact once Sophie got married.

And frankly, the fact that people tend to brush off his conduct and abuse and just focus on Araminta pisses me off. Men really can get away with everything.

NEGLECT IS ABUSE!!!!!!

Richard made Sophie carry all the weight of his crimes. He went on being an earl in London and being wealthy and influential. Sophie couldn’t have done anything, she was just a child. The servants didn’t have the power to defend her either. And then Benedict came and he tried to do the same. He wanted her to carry with all the shame of being a mistress while he continued with his life. But this time Sophie could say no and forced Benedict to make sacrifices.

#bridgerton #benophie #richard gunningworth #sophie beckett #benedict bridgerton #violet bridgerton #araminta reiling #feels good to let this out

[gffa]

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about why I find it so difficult to say uncomplicatedly nice things about Anakin and, as cliche as it is, I think it always comes back to this.  Part of it is of course the fandom discourse that surrounds his character and feeling like you have to head off the idea that he wasn’t responsible for any of it, so you nail everything down in the original post, etc.  But I don’t think that’s the very root of it for me. It keeps coming back to this.  And this isn’t a judgement of anyone who sees the character differently (he is, after all, a fictional character that will inspire different reactions in people), it’s an exploration of where I’m coming from myself and why I have a tough time being on Anakin’s side in anything.  Because, for me, any good qualities Anakin has--and he does have them!--cannot be divorced from that he is Darth Vader and all that Darth Vader will do, that Darth Vader isn’t a separate character, that Darth Vader is Anakin Skywalker, that Vader’s issues are Anakin’s issues, and that Anakin’s issues lead to that he willingly murders children.  The entire time we know him during the Clone Wars, he is someone who has already murdered children and whatever he feels about that, all we see of it is him feeling perfectly justified and then that everything is totally fine. Every kind moment he has with Ahsoka, he is still a baby murderer.  Every time he has a sweet moment with Padme, he is still a baby murderer.  Every time he has a good moment with Obi-Wan, he is still a baby murderer.  Every time he has reasonable fears and understandable hurts, he is still a baby murderer.  Every time he does something nice for someone, he is still a baby murderer.   A baby murderer who doesn’t feel bad about the babies he murdered. He is still the character who is going to murder more children.  It doesn’t matter that he hasn’t done it yet, when I watch anything of the prequels or TCW, I know that he is the kind of person who would genuinely do it, that is already in him, that is a fundamental part of who he is. Does it come layered with a lot of other stuff?  Yes, absolutely!  I actually genuinely do relate to Anakin’s character far more than I do any other in Star Wars, I do interpret him as someone with severe anxiety and a terror of facing the worst parts of himself, who is terrified of rejection by those he cares about, who struggles to genuinely believe that those around him are telling him the truth and genuinely care for him.  All of that shit rolls around in my head every single day of my life and it makes me empathize with Anakin’s character so much.  I love analyzing those parts of his character, too! But it cannot be separated from that he is someone who is absolutely willing to murder babies.  Every bit of anxiety he has?  It leads to baby murder.  Every bit of terror he has about fear of loss and rejection?  It leads to baby murder.  Every time someone is less than kind to him?  He’s still hiding baby murder.  I just cannot find anything that outweighs that when I look at the character, just about every single moment of his life that we see is soaked in a willingness to murder babies. It’s inescapable because it’s part of his character and I just cannot find it in my heart to look at a scene of, say, the Jedi denying him an unearned rank of Master or Obi-Wan faking his death in the middle of a war where lives were on the line, where even when Anakin’s hurt feelings or being upset at the situation were valid, and have any of that outweigh baby murder.  It doesn’t matter if he is or isn’t justified in a given scene, because I look at him and I see someone who is willing to and has murdered babies.  It’s always, always there.  And it’s bigger than anything that was done to him.  (Other than Palpatine’s abuse of him across the span of his life.) To be clear, it’s not just the baby murder, it’s also the lies and the betrayal and the unwillingness to really look inside himself and do the hard work of personal growth, but the baby murder really is the big one.  It’s always there and it’s never addressed!!  If Anakin had made real effort to make amends or grow from it, I could probably get over it, but he never does, so it’s just always sitting there.  Baby murderer is a neon flashing sign over his head.  It’s inescapable because he never is shown to regret it or deal with it, it’s always just there, a part of him. The closest I can get to being on Anakin’s side is to head into “he’s my trash baby and I dug him out of the dumpster fair and square” because I feel like that at least addresses the monstrous things he’s done and that they cannot be divorced from any given moment in his life. Anything in the canon that’s purely Anakin-positive (at least by the time he’s 19, but even then he’s someone willing to do it) I just can’t fully connect to (props to others if they can, I would love to join them!) because it feels false to me, it feels like it’s hollowing out the character of a fundamental part of who he is, that he’s Darth Vader, Baby Murderer.

#anakin skywalker #meta #child death cw

[nighwingsdiscordkitten]

So this is what I have so far on the Dean Winchester character analysis it's a bit all over because I wrote it while on the bud home but I'm writing it in a notebook of mine in a more clear and organized way then gonna re type it once I get it done

Also if you guys don't mind pls add your own character analysis of your own or just things you've noticed during the series because I really don't wanna mischaracterize him and accidentally make him into a complete different person especially since Dean's whole character is literally so important to me

Also I don't want anyone to think I'm gonna excuse the bad things Dean has done to Sam, Cas, and also Jack. I wanna include the fact that he isn't that great of a person and i still wanna hold him accountable for all the bad things he has done throughout the series

How Dean Winchester is. Given the parental role and also the more “women” or ‘feminin’ role in the series and also by the fandom.

Firstly we will talk about the fact that from a very young age (four years old) when his mother died in the fire he was the one to grab Sam from his crib and ran out of the house while his father stayed back. We see this in the very first episode and was also mentioned in one of the later seasons, growing up he was given the parental role because John (the father) was to busy with ‘grieving” his dead wife to the point that he threw himself and his family into the hunter life leave Dean and Sam to grow up on the road with no real home, they stayed in dirty old motels and barely had money to live off of, you can see this by the fact that they never had Christmas and I know that’s not a very ‘big deal’ BUT the fact that Dean had to sneak off and steal from a random home to give Sam some type of Christmas and also the fact that Dean was arrested for stealing some peanut butter bread and then was sent to Sunny’s home or wayward boys. There was also hints that Dean barley ever got to eat and often have his food to Sam so he wouldn’t go hungry at night, I don’t know if it was ever actually mentioned but it was hinted in episodes where Dean would have flashbacks or it was hinted, you can also notice this with how Dean eats his food, it’s more animalistic and rushed while Sam eats more calmer and also less, that is because Sam never had to really worry because Dean always fed him but Dean never knew when his next meal was so I believe it is a trauma response. Another trauma response is also is his savior complex, in the show we often see Dean more concern for Sam then himself and and could also be a readily for his own self destructive tendencies but we’ll talk about that later- since Dean has taken care of Sam his whole life Dean took on the parental role naturally and also started to relaty on Sam to be there constantly because Sam is his only constant figure in his life much how Dean is Sam’s only constant figure as well. Why is Sam and Dean each others only constant figure even tho they both have John tho? Well that is because John wasn’t the parental figure they needed. They only could rely on each other and no one else, sure they had Bobby but they don’t show him much in their flashback so I don’t know how much of a role he had in their childhood because he only really shows up more in their adult life, I do belive Bobby was there in their childhood because we see Bobby and Dean playing catch in season 7 when Bobby dies but that’s pretty much the only scene we get with Bobby and younger Dean every other scene is when Dean is a adult, so that makes me belive even more that Sam was deans only constant and the same with Dean for Sam. Now, about the savior complex, there are multiple examples of Dean wanting to risk his life for same and wanting to ‘save’ Sam for example

•Dean welling his soul in season 1 to same Sam

• Dean wanting to save Sam from ruby and his demon blood addiction

•Dean wanting to say yes to Michel

•Dean trying to get rid of the mark of Cain

•Giving himself up to Amra

•Even giving his own childhood up for Sam

Etc (look up more of deans self scarification)

We also see Deans self destructive tendencies by the fact he pushes people away, him being a alcoholic, him hiding his own traumas and emotions resulting him to have break downs or out bursts of rage because that was what he grew up on. He never learned how to let his anger out in normal healthy ways I believe that was because of John and how he was raised because we constantly see John being abusive and taking his anger out of Dean.

Again this is super all over the place but that’s because it’s still the rough draft I’m planing on rewriting all of this to make more sense and also I still wanna add more things to this as will because There’s so much more I wanna talk about but just can’t put it in words exactly

#dean winchester #dean winchester character study #spn #spn fandom #jensen ackles #jared padalecki #sam winchester #supernatural #spn cast #spn castiel #castiel #Sam and Dean #spn sam winchester #spn dean winchester #supernatural sam winchester #supernatural dean winchester #supernatural characters

[chalicedefinite]

I have been on this tag since day one and the majority of the posts and blogs I've seen adore Louis. Pointing out canonical traits like him actively lying in Canon books and now the show as well is not being hateful or disrespectful. Saying episode 5 and the whole tale infact being revisited is Not fans of lestat being apologists. It is what Anne Rice canonically did with the Vampire Lestat and the books that followed. Louis is loved widely in this tag. Lestat is being hated on as a result of the villainous portrayal in season 1 which again Canonically is a tale (not a true one) being told both in books and in the show. A lot of people however took it too far with the lestat hate and started calling anyone who liked him names and then people starting to fight back and the rest is how we got to here. If there is no understanding to fans of both characters the two most loved characters in the show -who at the end of the series canonically end up together- then what the hell is the point of being in this Fandom in the first place? Please don't take this as a personal attack it wasn't meant as one but as another person's experience and thoughts of the fandom so far.

I’m going to be honest I find this very hard to believe that it was only just about liking Lestat.

I’ve gotten more hate and vitriol from Lestat fans ever since I’ve joined this fandom. I’ve never talked bad about his character and I make it very clear on my blog that I love him and that he’s my favorite character both in the show and in the books. And yet, because I calmly engaged with a popular blog’s theory about episode 5; everyday I wake up to hate in my inbox that I have to delete. Lestat fans have been nothing but disrespectful to me for no reason.

Im a Lestat fan myself and I talk about how much I love him all the time it seems and I haven’t been once called a racist. I’ve had anons accusing me of hating Lestat but never ones accusing me of racism. This is the second time someone has told me that Lestat fans are bullied for liking him when all I’ve seen and experienced thus far is the exact opposite which begs the question: Is it really because you like Lestat or is it something deeper that other people picked up on but not you yourself? 3. How is anyone’s rational response as a human to someone calling them racist for liking Lestat is to deny the systemic oppression of black people? This is the main thing that doesn’t make a lick of sense to me. How did we go from, “Users were attacked for liking Lestat” to “So a bunch of blogs are now starting to agree with and talk about how reverse racism is real.” I��ve gotten attacked for liking characters before and my reaction to that is blocking whoever is causing trouble and ignoring them. I got harassed to hell and back in the Voltron fandom for defending and liking Allura and never at any point was I thinking about how affirmative action is the real systematic evil plaguing society. If this kind of thinking was always in the back of certain people’s head as they were analyzing the show then it’s safe to say that people weren’t mad at them just because they liked Lestat. You can not properly analyze a show where a black man talks about how he was systematically oppressed for being black when you don’t even believe in systemic oppression yourself. How can you sit down and watch this show where Louis is constantly being put down by the white people around him, where he has to pretend to be his husband’s chauffeur, where you see white people burning a black neighborhood, where Louis and Claudia cant even sit next to Lestat and have to sit at the back of the bus and come out of it thinking that reverse racism exists in our society? Louis is the age of a lot of black people’s great grandfather, what he went through was not that long ago and the society he lives is still alive today.

4. What purpose would it serve narratively to have Louis and Claudia lie about episode 5? I’m leaving this question here because the last time I tried to have this discussion it led to anons hounding me.

#Ask #interview with the vampire #iwtv

[ceterisparibus116]

Recently read your one ask response about Karen and Matt and Matt putting her on a pedestal but I think it's remiss not to mention that Karen put Matt on a pedestal too. I often find that in critiquing their relationship only Matt gets the brunt of the blame for it not working out- that he told lies, kept secrets, put her on a pedestal and had specific expectations of Karen. But Karen is all that too and the same way towards Matt. She certainly expected him to be a goody two shoes man and pictured him incapable of violence. But I rarely see this pointed out and most of the fingers are pointed at Matt as the reason for their relationship imploding.

Ooh, this is interesting.

On the one hand, I do agree with you that a lot of the fandom tends to put all the blame on Matt for…well, for everything. The analysis can definitely be one-sided.

At the same time (and feel free to push back against this, Anon, or anyone else for that matter)…I don’t think Karen is responsible for their relationship falling apart.

By which I mean: their romantic relationship. I do think she contributed to their friendship imploding, so let me address that first.

I think Karen contributed to their friendship imploding by: her inability to understand him after his revelation that he is Daredevil.

Relevant facts:

Karen is analytical, investigative, and intelligent;

One of Karen’s strengths is her ability to understand why people do what they do, even when what they do is something she doesn’t necessarily approve of (see, for example, her approach to Frank Castle and Grotto);

She knew certain things about Matt, even if she didn’t know his full background (specifically: that he was an orphan who was never adopted, and that he has very few friends).

Based on those facts, I think it’s reasonable to expect Karen to have connected the dots between Matt’s background and his secret-keeping. Based on those facts, I think Karen failed by taking his secret-keeping personally. I do think we can criticize her for this.

But that’s not about their romantic relationship imploding. Let’s talk about their relationship imploding.

Relevant facts:

Karen admired Daredevil, even knowing all about his violence, and thought he was a hero;

Karen knew Matt was keeping secrets;

Karen repeatedly invited Matt to share his secrets with her (and, as far as I can tell, he never felt pressured by these invitations);

When they did break up, she explicitly tells Foggy that it was because of his lies and refusal to tell her the truth about whatever was going on with him.

Based on these facts, I think we can conclude that their relationship did not implode because she put him on a pedestal. Their relationship did not implode because she couldn’t handle his capacity for violence (which she didn’t even know about when their relationship imploded).

Why did their relationship implode? Because of Matt’s continued dishonesty.

Is that Karen’s fault? No. It’s Matt’s.

Now, I suppose it could be argued that Matt was dishonest because he thought Karen was putting him on a pedestal, and he thought she wouldn’t be able to handle his capacity for violence. Fine.

But whose fault is that? Karen’s? No—short of literally telling Matt: “Hey, just so you know, I’m cool with dating you even if you’re secretly a vigilante,” I don’t know what else she was supposed to do to assuage that fear of Matt’s. She literally admired Daredevil (repeatedly) out loud in his presence, and she never once shied away from reaching out to people who are violent (like Frank).

I find it hard to believe that Matt thought Karen was putting him on a pedestal based on anything Karen did. Instead, I think it’s clear that if Matt thought Karen was putting him on a pedestal, it was because he was projecting his own insecurities onto her.

That’s understandable. That’s relatable. That’s very human. That’s even reasonable for him to do, based on his history.

But it’s also his problem—not hers.

He’s the one who tried to read her mind and decided that she wouldn’t be able to handle hearing about Daredevil, and that’s on him—not on her.

Now, Anon, words are tricky here, because words like “blame,” “fault,” “responsible,” etc. might all carry some moral connotations. I’m not trying to say Matt was morally in the wrong for projecting his insecurities onto her, and I’m not even sure he was morally wrong for lying to her about Daredevil. I’m not saying any of that right now.

But I am saying that, if we remove moral connotations, Matt is still factually responsible for their relationship imploding. It was his issues (abandonment) which caused his choices (lying and secret-keeping) which caused their relationship to implode.

Not Karen.

(And I think there’s a lesson to be learned here. It’s tempting to always say that if two people are in a conflict, fault must lie with both of them. But that’s not necessarily true. And it’s tempting to say that we shouldn’t put all the responsibility on one person when we know that person wasn’t trying to do anything wrong. But sometimes all the responsibility does fall on one person, even when they’re not doing anything immoral. Matt wasn’t trying to hurt Karen. He wasn’t trying to ruin their relationship. His choices can easily be traced back to the ways that he was hurt by other people. But none of that negates his factual responsibility.)

Also, you mentioned "specific expectations." For the record: it's okay to have specific expectations in relationships! That's healthy, actually! What's unhealthy is to not communicate those expectations, and then go nuclear once someone doesn't meet those expectations.

But that's not what Karen did. Karen communicated her expectation: she expected Matt to be honest with her. Matt chose not to be honest with her. She responded, then, by ending their relationship.

That's healthy!

That said, I do think she would have done even better by being even clearer and telling him what the consequence would be if he chose not to meet her expectation. She should have said, "I expect you to be honest with me, and if you cannot or will not do that, I will not continue to date you." That would have been ideal.

But I definitely don't think her failure to be that explicitly clear means it was her fault that their romantic relationship imploded.

#matt murdock #karen page #karedevil #daredevil #meta #asks #ask me things i'm friendly

[autism-alley]

i don't know if you answer asks but you're one of the few blogs still consistently posting pjo tv crit and it's been such a relief. with the amount of praise it's gotten i feel so gaslit like am i just being a baseless hater?? but no there's a reason a lot of the people criticizing the show are writers. it's a poorly written show and the more i think about it the more problems i find

like i was thinking about the way the kids in the show just know everything and how boring it is to watch, especially the casino scene, and something hit me

the lotus casino functions perfectly as a metaphor for traits associated with adhd--the need for stimulation and time blindness. anyone would fall for the casino's lure, but especially adhd kids. the fact that the show takes that away is REALLY weird to me, to put it kindly

if i were being less kind? i would say there's grounds to argue that having these characters, who are children with adhd, be impervious to something that is designed to trap people exactly like them is, on some level, erasure of their disabilities. especially since the one character who does get affected by it is the one who doesn't have the same neurodivergencies as the two who don't. the explanation for why percy and annabeth didn't start to forget themselves was such a lazy cop out and i can't believe people ate it up

i don't know what that writers' room has against literal adhd children falling for traps that are designed to trap people, but it's embarrassing for them tbh

i’m so glad to hear it anon!! i’m a little surprised to hear it too tbh, i wasn’t sure if anyone else was still. interested in discussing it? it seems like the pjo/atla fanbase overlap means most people have moved onto to the live action atla show. and while i am an atla fan, i didn’t grow up with the show the same way i grew up with the pjo books, so based on what we’d already seen/heard of the natla show before it even released + my utter disappointment and heartbreak regarding the pjo show, i decided to spare myself the watch. i would rather keep my memories of the original show untainted; what i have seen of the show resonates with people’s criticisms of the writing (and as someone who has done costuming work. one look is all you need to understand THAT criticism lmfao).

but i’m honestly… surprised? the pjo show did not get the same level of criticism as the natla show? it’s not like pjo is not also very popular with that same generation, sure, atla being a show perhaps made it more appealing and accessible to more kids, etc etc, sure. but from the fan bases themselves, size aside? proportionately? the pjo fandom is FULL of show defenders just blatantly ignoring the show’s major foundational issues if not just outright parading them around as successes, meanwhile the critics are in the minority. compare that with what i’ve seen where the complete opposite is true of the atla fandom, it’s weird!! and especially jarring to me bc it seemed pretty clear to everyone in the atla fandom the show had Issues, meanwhile the pjo fandom heard the promise from rick riordan’s very own mouth this show is going to be faithful to the series’ spirit. it’s so weird to see the wildly different responses to what i think are prolly equally bad reboot shows, with a fandom of similar demographics (clearly not the SAME demographics or the response would prolly be more aligned but you get my point). so i agree anon, i do feel a little gaslit by the pjo fandom, and watching the atla fandom’s very reasonable response to the natla show is like. whiplash. another sign you and i are not losing it lmao

as for the lotus casino, this is an excellent point! i don’t even think it can be called unkind to point out how this episode is a symptom of the show’s overall disability erasure. i would say it’s unkind of the show to erase adhd and dyslexia representation. in fact, because of the explicit promise by its creator to see that representation, i would go as far as to call it cruel to then erase it. if anything, based on rick’s promises to add more representation, i was hoping for elements like autistic annabeth confirmation, since when pjo was first written, it was based off rick’s son and his friends who were all ND, and at the time it wasn’t thought to be possible to be AuDHD, but likely some of those kids probably were (and that then made its way into the books in characters like annabeth!). that would have been the perfect opportunity to add something with the foresight of modern times, but instead we got… absolutely no disability rep from the show aside from a few short lines of dialogue as a lame-ass bone-toss to the book fans.

the pjo show’s biggest crime is its lack of spirit of the original book series, and that book series cradled myself and every other ND child or child in an abusive situation who read it. it offered us a mother who never got angry with us when we showed “difficult” symptoms. it offered us camp half-blood, the idea of a place, a home, where people like us were not just accepted, but thrived. it offered us a new world. it offered us a friend in percy jackson. i do not feel the show truly offers anything substantial. it only takes.

#anon going ‘i’m so glad you’re still posting pjo show crit’ had me whipping my head around like ‘YOU ARE?’ #so thank you anon lmao #i’m still like. marinating in the idea of making a pjo discord server (where crit is welcome) #i don’t know if anyone would still be interested now the like. hype/reverse hype for the show is dying down #and truly excellent point i had not been able to put my finger on why that scene got under my skin so bad #pjo show crit #pjo tv crit #ris raves

[saintsenara]

Hi! for the Snape asks game I propose you 1, 4, 45, 46, 48 and 49 . If that's too much you can cut it and keep only the ones you find interesting :))

thank you very much for the ask, @big-scary-bird! all of these were interesting :)

also tagging @bronzeagepizzeria here, since you asked the exact same sequence of questions.

[snape ask game here]

1. do you have a snOTP? what is it?

in an extremely cultured move… it’s severus snape/lord voldemort. i just think they belong together! once they move past the whole ‘using nagini to rip your throat out’ thing…

voldemort is obviously incredibly fond of snape - not only because he must recognise so much of himself in him (feral working-class children with muggle names and disappointing dads need to stick together, after all), but because they have a shared attitude towards magic, the defining force in both of their lives.

voldemort describes himself in goblet of fire as someone who dabbles in creating potions, we know he’s a great inventor of spells, and we - of course - know that he’s someone who’s experimented deeply with all sorts of magic, macabre or otherwise. in this, he understands snape’s attitude towards magic exactly - it’s clear in canon that one of the tensions between snape and dumbledore prior to half-blood prince is that dumbledore cannot countenance someone having even a theoretical interest in dark magic. but snape clearly does, even as his willingness to use that magic to harm and control disappears.

voldemort can appreciate that - it’s what he’s talking about when he tells harry that there is no good and evil, only power - and i can very easily picture the two of them ending up in bed together the first time when a discussion about potions theory got out of hand. you can decide for yourself if voldemort is still hot at this scenario…

it’s also clear from canon that voldemort is one of the few people in snape’s life who takes an active interest in improving it - snape must become a death eater because voldemort offers him a chance to transcend the restrictive class structure which rips opportunities away from poor half-bloods unless they have a slughorn-esque patron - which i think is an aspect of his personality which is too often overlooked.

plus - the adult snape clearly models how he speaks and comports himself on voldemort (seriously, they have near-identical speech patterns, they get a lot of the same movement and dialogue descriptors), which is cute. maybe the dark lord took him shopping for his first set of bat-like robes. (he did - he was getting sick of the brown corduroy bell-bottoms which snape was obsessed with in the seventies.)

and - of course - the reason that snape is the only death eater to whom voldemort teaches the principle of unaided flight is because they were going on lots of romantic midnight swoopings over the countryside. i love that for them.

4. do you think snape remained a virgin?

i don’t think it matters either way, but i think it is worth interrogating why saying no to this question often provokes the response that, if snape had slept around, then his love for lily would no longer be as profound or legitimate as it would have if he’d never had anyone else since he couldn’t have her.

the harry potter fandom has a real issue with conflating sex and love [just see any discussion of whether voldemort actually slept with bellatrix, even though it’s canon that he did] and with having slightly puritanical views on people having meaningless sex for no reason other than the fact that they enjoy it [it feels like every time i see a character written as promiscuous in something, it’s always because they have a reason™, usually a traumatic one, rather than because fucking is fun]. but indulging in sex for physical pleasure and pleasure alone does not make you any less capable of being stalwartly committed to the mission you took for yourself in honour of the dead love of your life. it’s just sex.

so no, i don’t think snape remained a virgin. all teachers need to blow off steam every once in a while, and i think he probably had a sequence of one night stands while on the piss in knockturn alley which meant nothing to him. i’m sure his capacity for self-loathing meant that he felt very bad for doing so, but that sounds like a him problem.

[as an aside, it also seems to me that the scepticism about whether snape had a casual sex life is also rooted in the fact that he’s canonically unattractive - whereas the fact that many people headcanon sirius, who i think was actually infinitely more likely not to have slept with anyone, since he spent his teen years pining for james and his sowing-wild-oats years in azkaban, as a womaniser is entirely because he’s described as hot - but ugly people get to bone too.]

45. what is your opinion on snape's sexuality?

snape’s a bi disaster.

i am convinced, for example, that his canonical vibe with sirius is caused by the fact that he fancies him - he loves acting up in an attempt to get sirius’ attention (him making excuses to pop into grimmauld place to neg sirius about how he’s spending all his time cleaning… immaculate), despite the fact that the way he behaves around lupin suggests that he ought to be avoidant of him, given their history.

plus, his obvious thing for powerful men is what gets him into trouble in the first place. lord voldemort only had to flutter his eyelashes a couple of times and snape was done for… and when it comes to dumbledore, well you know what they say about men with supremely powerful wands…

46. which of the marauders do you think snape could have gotten along with?

sirius, for the reason outlined above.

48. did you feel that snape was the "good guy" even before the reveal?

answered here - the tl;dr is that i did because i'm built different.

49. do you prefer tall!snape or short!snape?

snape is, canonically, a short king. he’s five-eight and feral and i love that for him.

#snape ask game #severus snape #asks answered

[niceminipotato]

Hello guys.

So for Pride month this year I really don’t have the capacity to do what I did last year with a one-shot a day. Sorry. Still I wanted to do something. So I will be posting 5 one-shots for 5 different fandoms. Hope you enjoy. The first is of course Meddison 😉

PRIDE - Panicked

She was breathing. Wasn’t she? Her heart rate spiking and the tingly feeling at the tip of her fingers didn't mean anything. The jumbling prickling sensation running up and down her spine was nothing. She was ok. She was alright. But… maybe this thing she was feeling wasn’t entirely normal?

No. She was fine. She just needed to breathe and clear her head. She only had to calm down. It didn’t matter that he knew. Everything was fine. Everything was—

“Denying it won’t make it be less true, Red.”

“Go away, Mark.”

Just how the heck had he found out? This whole thing was platonic. It wasn’t as if she had let anything show. Had she? Not even she herself believed this was true. Oh the lengths she’d go in her denial.

“You are in love with a woman. And hey that’s ok. I’ve been in love with women before.”

They were in the middle of the hall, where just about anyone could hear. As soon as the words left him she covered his mouth and glanced around. The last thing she needed was one more rumor about her to become part of the general circulation of Seattle Grace. And they didn’t need much to go off of…

First people had found out she had cheated on McDreamy and that’s why he ran. The amount of dirty looks she had gotten for that one made her laugh some times. Then people heard about things not working out in bed. Honestly, how they had found out about that one was a mystery to her. News of their divorce wasn't really a secret. Still the whole hospital was buzzing with it before lunch. The last bit had been her little arrangement with Mark, which of course led to nothing between them. Not that she wanted it either way. But after so long being in the front page she wanted to be out. She really didn’t need anything else to be part of the gossip cesspit that was this damned hospital.

“Shut up.” She seethed and Mark only chuckled.

Uncovering his mouth he gave her one of his shit-eating grins. “Red, this is fine. Falling for a w-”

“I told you to shut up.”

“Are you really that ashamed to have joined us in the rainbow?”

“Us? And I’m not—”

“You’re acting like it. Do you think it dirty? Are you not proud of what you are?”

Proud? It had nothing to do with pride(ahem). And she really wasn’t ashamed. She had never had issues accepting people and their preferences. Hell, it wasn’t as if anyone would need to have her blessing to love who they loved.

No. No one had the right to judge people. Not even Satan herself. Not that she’d ever want to or feel the need to. People get to be happy with whomever makes them happy. They get to be happy in whichever way they choose and no one has the right to keep them from their happiness. That was what she believed at least.

Back to the present conversation though. Mark really didn’t know what he was talking about. He was wrong (he wasn’t though).

“Mark, I-I’m not…” not what? Yes, I am.

Mark only watched her as she struggled with her own acceptance, his grin still as irritating as ever. In reality, it wasn’t hard to accept her inclinations. See, she had already had an inkling as to where her preferences lie. What was hard to accept was the reason or rather the person who finally cemented the notion for her. It was so messy and complicated.

“Why her?” She whispered the question echoing in her head.

“I think your heart chose the best person.”

“I don’t even know if she’s-”

“Meredith Grey is as colorful as you and me, Addison.” He took a deep breath and continued to smile.

“Do you hear yourself, right now?”

“Oh come on, Addie. Gotta throw in the jokes wherever I can.”

An eye roll was her only response as she went back to panicking over the fact that she had utterly fallen for the blonde with baby blue eyes. That same blonde who had been her ex-husband's mistress. The blonde she had thought she’d grow to hate but didn’t. Why did she have to be her ‘gay awakening’? Truthfully her gay awakening was probably that girl from med school but still not even her slight panic then could compare to her panic now. This felt more real. It felt true. But…

What was she supposed to do with all of this? What could she even do? Denying this whole thing was becoming increasingly harder. Making it seem as if Meredith being close didn’t affect her was just not something she could do anymore. Not now. Not after she let herself sorta accept the issue. She was freaking out now and she didn’t even have the other woman in front of her.

“Speak of the devil and she will appear. There’s Grey.”

Addison spun around, only years of experience kept her standing after moving so quickly on her high heels. Her heart, that traitorous thing, beat furiously as she noticed said blonde at the end of the hall with her person, as she called Cristina.

Mark chuckled beside her, no doubt noticing the bigger shift in her state. “Now what?”

“What do you mean now what?”

Mark let out an exasperated sigh, “do I need to spell it out for you?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about Mark?” Her gaze was still on the blonde when Mark leaned in and whispered the craziest thing in her ear, sending her into a stuttering mess. “W-wh-what?”

“Go over there and ask her out on a date.”

“Are you out of your mind? You hit your head before you got here, didn’t you? You need a CT.”

“My head is perfectly fine. And you just need to go over there and ask her out.” Mark wrapped an arm around her shoulders while she looked at him as if he had grown three heads.

“You must be delirious. Why would I go ask her out?”

“Because you like her and you’re both single so why not?”

Pulling away from him and turning to face him she shook her head. “I can’t just go ask her out. Sh-she’s… Meredith Grey.” She whisper-shouted the name and Mark only chuckled.

“Addison, what do you do when you’re interested in someone?”

“Nothing. Because I’m not interested.”

“Again. Denying it won’t make it less true.” He raised a brow when she opened her mouth to argue but closed it again. “Listen, trying won’t cause any harm. Just get over there.”

“Mark, I’m her ex’s ex-wife.”

“What I heard in that statement is that, as I said before, you’re both single.”

“That has nothing to do with—”

“What’s got you so scared, Addie?”

“If she’s not… and then even if she is… what if… what if—”

“You’re acting like a scared little baby. You won’t know what’ll happen until you try.”

“Can you give me a break? I just figured out that I—”

Mark laughed and she went on to shush him. “You did not just find out. You already knew.”

“I… whatever. What about Derek?” She asked and noticed Mark stiffening slightly, which was pretty strange.

“What about Derek?”

“You know what. Why are you being so defensive all of the sudden? Anyway, I don’t even know if he’s over her.”

Mark glared, “he is.”

“How would you even know?”

“I just do.”

“Well, I don’t believe you.” She crossed her arms and watched him almost pout before letting out a sigh.

“I know because we’re as colorful as you.”

“We’re…”

Suddenly Mark’s defensiveness made sense as well as the slight blush creeping along his neck. She looked at him a moment and watched him shift uncomfortably, which made her grin. There had always been something about Mark and Derek. The way they acted after that little drunken adventure which had led the three to bed. Oh yes. She could definitely see the two of them together and happy.

“I’m happy for you two then.”

“Yeah?”

There was a vulnerability to his words that made her reach out and squeeze his arm. “Yeah. Definitely.”

He relaxed, “good.”

“Mhmm.”

“Ok well now, as I said, Derek won’t be an issue so…”

“Mark…”

“Addie, just go over there and ask her out. What have you got to lose?”

‘Everything’, she thought to herself and Mark seemed to read the thought on her face.

“Don’t be a chicken. Do it or you’ll regret it. Trust me.”

The ringing of Meredith’s laugh floated over to them drawing their attention. Ignoring the chicken bit Mark had said she focused on the rest. As she watched the giggling blonde she wondered what could happen should she listen to her friend.

Did she have it in her to get hurt again and survive? Wouldn’t it be better to stay safe and away? What would Meredith do if she told her? What would she do if she didn’t? Would she really regret not acting on this? There were so many questions that she couldn’t find an answer to. What if it didn’t work out? But then… what if it did? What if Meredith felt the same? Could the blonde feel that draw she felt? That never ending pull? Did she also freak out when she figured it out? Was she stumped just as she was in her panic?

Meredith’s laugh rang once more, shaking her out of her haze. As she looked at the happy blonde she wondered how it would feel to be the one to make her smile. The one to make her laugh.

She could picture late dinners, rushed lunches, small juju breaks, late night movies, small conversations, wordless conversations. It was the little things she’d like with her. Coming home after a long day to just sit and be with each other. The other things that came from a relationship would be most welcomed as well. She would never deny that but just the small things, the things you don’t think about. She wanted those with the blonde. How would she get any of it if she didn’t try? At least once.

“Fine.”

“Yeah?” Mark beamed and she couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Yeah.”

“Ok. I’ll wait here. Then I’ll celebrate with you or go drown in beers with you.”

“I’d rather drown in wine.”

“Fine. Wine it is. But I don’t think we’ll need to drown.” Mark wiggled his brows and she shook her head.

They waited a few minutes for Cristina to finally leave Meredith on her own. Mark had been impatiently waiting, throwing glances towards the blonde. Addison had almost smacked him a few times for being so obvious. Once the brunette had gone leaving just Meredith at the nurse’s station he practically shoved her towards it.

Addison had half a mind of turning around and kicking him on the chins but resisted. She took a steady breath and made her way towards the blonde. Her usual strut was less impressive, less threatening. That confident gait of hers has been replaced by a nervous, almost hesitant, one.

Heart knocking violently against her rib cage she managed to get to Meredith, who was writing down notes on a chart. With absolutely no idea how she managed, she cleared her throat to call the blonde’s attention. Baby blue eyes met her jade and she almost turned around with her tail between her legs.

“Hey, Addison.” Meredith smiled softly and honestly why would she do that to her.

“H-hi.” ‘What the hell was that sound?’

“Umm hi.”

“Uh, busy?”

“Just charting.” Meredith watched her a while and the silence became awkward and almost unbearable. The blonde gave her an almost pained smile before she spoke again. “Well umm, yeah. I’ll see you later I guess?”

Addison resisted the urge to pinch or slap herself out of her haze. She needed to say something. She hadn’t come here to stand in front of Meredith doing nothing and looking like an idiot. She had come here to ask her out, like Mark had said. But her mouth wasn’t moving and the air was so thin. Still, though she had to say something, anything.

“A…” she began but stopped taking a quick breath before resuming. “Are you on a twelve?”

“I uh no. I’m not. Finishing a sixteen.”

“Oh, I see...” ‘Dammit, Addison. Talk!’ Another steady breath and she continued, “are you going to be busy after?”

Meredith frowned, curiosity evident in her eyes. “I don’t know.”

“You’re probably going to Joe's, huh?” Addison forced a chuckle and all she could think about was the cheer amount of awkwardness and tenseness in the air.

“M-maybe? I don’t know. I think I’m the only one that gets out early today.”

“Ah…”

“Addison, are you ok?”

“Yep. Are you ok?”

“Yes. It’s just you seem umm…”

She needed to stop. She was making things worse. Meredith was looking at her as if she had gone crazy. Frankly she felt was going crazy. Who in their right mind would do this? This thing wasn’t real. She didn’t—

“Denying it doesn’t make it less true, Red.”

One big deep breath and she grounded herself. “Meredith… let’s go out.”

Meredith stared blankly at her, her lips parting as her mouth hung slightly open. Briefly the image of staring into a computer blue screening entered her mind and she fought to contain her laughter. Soon the blonde’s gaze softened and she bit her lip almost nervously.

“Go out? You and I?”

The questions floated softly towards her and Addison couldn’t tell what emotion was swimming in those baby blue eyes. All she could tell was that now, now she was really freaking out. Her palms were starting to sweat and she had the sudden impulse to jump in the balls of her feet while chewing her bottom lip. She resisted in both instances.

“W-well, yeah. I mean umm well you and I… you know… and I thought that Joe’s was a good place. Unless you’d rather… if you’d like… uh…”

For a moment Meredith’s gaze drifted away from her and focused on something or someone behind her. Where her gaze had been blank then surprised then a bit soft when it returned to her once more it was hard and closed off.

“Is this a joke?”

“Huh? W-what do you…” Addison turned and found who the blonde had been looking at.

Mark had stayed right where they had been still staring towards them with a grin. It seemed as if he were poking fun and he probably was. Though Addison suspected the blonde had the completely wrong idea of what Mark was making fun of.

Spinning back to the blonde she began to blabber on. “No. No. No. Meredith I would never… he’s just— it’s not what you think… why the hell does that sound worse? No wait. Listen, he’s only making sure—”

“Goodbye Doctor Montgomery.”

If she thought she was panicking before she was wrong. Seeing the flash of pain etching into Meredith’s features sent her reeling. Quickly she made her way around the nurse station and thoughtlessly grabbed her hand.

“No. Please, it's really not what you’re thinking.” Meredith’s eyes locked on where she held her hand and she quickly let go. “ sorry. I… This really isn’t a joke. I’m not trying to make a fool out of you or … or anything like that. He, Mark, is only there because he’s trying to make sure that I go through with it. Wait no… that sounds worse than before.”

“Doctor Montgomery, I really am busy.”

Meredith’s low tone made her ache. Why was this going so wrong? All she had to do was tell her she wanted to go out with her. Why had it become so much more complicated? Meredith really thought that she was playing her.

“Meredith, wait. Please let me explain. See what’s happening is that I well I just wanted to uh you know… God I’m acting worse than a child. I’m being ridiculous.” She groaned and covered her face before taking a steadying breath. “Ok, I wanted to ask you out. I… well… I really…”

Why couldn’t she finish the stupid sentence? It was simple. Just three words and done. One more deep breath and keeping her gaze on the floor she went on.

“I’ve never done this before. Y-you’re the first um woman that I ask o-out. I sorta uh l-like you…”

Once the words were finally out she felt a bit more relieved but as she dared a glance at the other woman’s face her rising panic overtook her. Meredith stared blankly at her with her bottom lip stuck between her teeth. She didn’t know what to make of the reaction. Was this good or bad?

Her panic only rose higher as the seconds ticked by with silence being the only response from the blonde. She felt a pang on her heart as she realized that maybe coming to tell her had been wrong. That now Meredith was quiet because she couldn’t think of what to say to get out of the conversation. Maybe Meredith was straight unlike Mark had suggested. Or maybe she wasn’t but she still felt this was wrong.

“I… I… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.” There was a deep void spreading through her heart but she continued to force the words out. “Don’t mind me or what I said. I’m sorry. Just forget it all, ok? I’ll s-see you around.”

She turned away from the blonde, ready to bolt, and feeling her heart breaking. She needed to get out of there. Mark was frowning at the other end of the hall, seemingly confused, and she turned away from him too. As she made to step away a slender hand wrapped around her wrist.

“Addison, wait!”

Turning to the blonde she saw panic in baby blue eyes. Panic she supposed she had put there when she told her she liked her. She really should go before she broke down in front of Meredith. There was only so many times her pride would allow her to make a fool out of herself.

Trying to pull her hand away she began to beg the blonde to let her go. “Please—”

“I get out in, in an hour and twenty.”

“What?”

Meredith bit her lip nervously, a slight blush dusting her cheeks. “I get out soon. So maybe we um we could go out?”

“Y-you want to?” Addison only blinked in disbelief.

“Yes. I also um well me too. Same like you.”

The blonde’s sentence was a complete mess but she understood. Suddenly, Addison could feel a smile tugging at the corners of her lips. A smile, which Meredith nervously mirrored. Soon butterflies sprung to life in her stomach. Her fingers tingled, but it wasn’t a bad tingle. It wasn’t the nervous and panicked one. It was the excited one, the expectant one.

“You want to go out?” She asked and Meredith nodded vigorously. “O-ok. In an hour twenty?”

“Y-yeah. We can um go to Joe’s. Though I’m a little hungry—but Joe’s is fine.”

“Well there’s this sushi place I want to try. We could uh maybe go there instead?”

“Sushi’s good.” Meredith beamed at her and before she knew it the blonde had left a peck on her cheek.

Her brain almost short-circuited at the action. She could feel heat rising on her cheeks and the top of her ears. Her breath hitched, and she felt herself shudder. She was definitely going through it, but one glance at Meredith told her that the blonde was going through it worse than she was.

The pinkish hue from before had intensified into an almost crimson. Her baby blue eyes were wide in shock. It appeared as though Meredith had acted on impulse, and now it was catching up to her. She rambled incoherently and Addison found it so very cute. The blonde waved her hands around, trying to explain, maybe? Addison wasn’t sure what Meredith was saying because she was on cloud nine at the moment.

“…uh s-so an-an hour and change?”

Addison shook herself out of her stupor and nodded with a grin. “Yes. I’ll meet you in the lobby.”

“Ok.” Meredith grinned back nervously before turning around to leave.

Before she could talk herself out of her own impulse Addison gingerly grabbed the blonde’s wrist making her stop. Before Meredith could fully turn to look at her she was already placing a soft kiss on her cheek earning herself a surprised gasp.

“Thought I’d return the favor.” She whispered before pulling away. “I’ll see you soon.”

Meredith nodded wordlessly before scurrying away with her adorable flushing self. A chuckle escaped her at the ridiculousness of the whole situation.

She had been needlessly drowning herself in panic and anxiety. She had been so scared without needing to be. It appeared as though Meredith was having the same issue she was. Oh but was she ever so glad she had done it. Glad she had listened to her friend, even though for a moment that same friend had almost cost her everything.

“So… you’re going out with Grey?”

She wasn’t surprised when Mark appeared beside her. “I am. I am also going to kill you.”

“What? Why?” He brought a hand to his chest in mocked offense.

“She thought I was playing her because you were so not subtly watching us.”

“I just had to make sure you did it. I’m taking my duty as a friend and wingman seriously.”

“Oh, be quiet. Anyway, I have to go. I need to leave my written orders for tonight.”

Mark wiggled his brows suggestively, “why the hurry, Red?”

Narrowing her gaze she sized him up before speaking, “because, Mark Sloan, I have a hot date to get ready for.”

“Wow, the panic went away. Good.”

“I wasn’t panicking.”

“Denying it doesn’t make it less true.”

“Bye, Sloan.” She rolled her eyes and began to make her way to the elevators.

“I’ll walk you. Need to give you pointers.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Mhmm. So listen, take her to a nice place then you start a simple conversation. Don’t do heavy things first. Just ease into it and—”

“I know how to go on dates, Mark.” She let out already exasperated.

“I know but still I’m nothing if not a good wingman.”

“Manwhore is more like it…” She muttered under her breath.

“That’s besides the point plus I’m taken now. “ He shrugged. “So as I was saying when you so rudely interrupted. Take her to a nice place and…

Hope y’all enjoyed this messy little thing 🤭 until the next one. Stay awesome 😎

#addison montgomery #meddison #meredith grey #meredith x addison #addison x meredith #greys anatomy

[impish-ivy]

Nightbringer Lesson 17 spoilers

I’m going to be honest this does not make Asmo look good, like at all.

Let me first clarify that I don’t hate Asmo, and I do not condone the way Solomon forged his pact with him. Asmo is great and Solomon was absolutely in the wrong for how he forged a pact with him.

That being said, the fandom’s reaction is both overblowing and minimizing what actually actually happened.

I will be talking about sexual harassment and assault. If that makes you uncomfortable then please don’t read further. Fictional anime men aren’t worth your mental health and wellbeing.

None of what is being said is to demean or insinuate either Asmo or Solomon is worse than the other or that your own feelings on said character(s) is wrong.

I’m going to be honest, it was upsetting seeing so many people gloss over the implications of this interaction and Asmo’s actions.

This is sexual harassment.

Asmo is sexually harassing Solomon in these screenshots. Solomon is clearly uncomfortable and no, Asmo being drunk and upset isn’t an excuse. Asmo, even when intoxicated, is responsible for the way his actions affect others.

Let me make it clear, just because Asmo was sexually harassing Solomon does not give him the right in any way to forge a pact without his consent and it’s still wrong.

There’s also a heavy implication that Amso used his charming powers on this random human. Which is gross. People don’t say stuff like “I love you” to someone they‘ve just met. It’s very likely that’s why the priest/sorcerer chased him off. This was not a consensual encounter.

People talk about how icky this scene makes Solomon look but Asmo says/does icky things as well. I felt icky reading it.

Asmo even tries to seduce Solomon, and while we don’t know what he would’ve made Solomon do, it would obviously be against his consent. Asmo has tried to use his powers to seduce MC, and depending on your interpretation, Helene as well.

The tags are full of people (rightfully) discussing how wrong Solomon was and how unfair it was to Asmo to take advantage of him while intoxicated. But I think we also need to talk about how wrong Asmo is for trying to seduce humans against their will, to seemingly boost his own ego.

This is my issue here. What both of them did is wrong. But we’re only focusing one of their wrongs. By collectively ignoring what Asmo has done, we would be condoning it. And it shouldn’t be condoned. It genuinely felt like people didn’t care because they didn’t like Solomon and not because they actually cared about consent.

Obviously I’m not trying to imply Asmo is some predator, that feeds into very disgusting stereotypes about queer men that I want nothing to do with. Asmo is a sweetheart but if we’re gonna call out how icky Solomon we should also call out how icky Asmo was.

Both of them have moved on, we should to.

@melody-ruskin has a really good in-depth discussion about Solomon here, it was released before lesson 17 but it is incredibly well written and is definitely worth a read. I can’t recommend it enough!

Please feel free to disagree with me, share your thoughts, or even post your own counter arguments. Having open and honest discussions is integral to a welcoming and toxic-free fandom environment. My dms are open to anyone.

#obey me nightbringer #obey me nightbringer spoilers #obey me shall we date #obey me Asmo #obey me solomon #obey me spoilers #obey me discussion #this post is not to single out one individual or make anyone feel ashamed for their own opinions #this is genuinely how I feel and how I interpreted this scene #I just think it’s important that we acknowledge Amso’s wrongs as well #this was written up yesterday so if anything doesn’t make sense that’s in part why #I glad we’re now addressing it because it felt very….icky we were

[thatswhatsushesaid]

kicking around some thoughts this morning, this is extremely disorganized but here are the key ingredients in this meta smoothie:

jin guangyao +

the bad things that he does (both of his own free will and under duress for wrh and/or jgs) +

textual evidence presented to the reader indicating that jgy is aware of the awfulness of these things +

reader interpretation of what jgy's understanding of that awfulness means about his personal feelings about his own actions (i.e., he is perfectly okay with them, or he is absolutely fucked up by them, or something in between)

= two* contradictory versions of jgy in fic and/or the neverending game of mdzs fandom discourse

(*yes i know there are more than two contradictory interpretations of his character, but by and large the majority these interpretations can be filed into two categories: he's Evil or he's Not Evil.)

the more i mull it over, the more i think it's at this specific intersection (of jin guangyao as a character, the actions he takes in the story, his understanding of these actions as being terrible, and reader response to his understanding) where the disconnect happens between fans who consider themselves jgy stans, and fans who either don't like jgy or don't have much of an opinion on him either way.

i think it's clear where i stand on the issue (jgy is NOT unaffected by the terrible things he has done, even in those instances where he believed his actions to be unavoidable or necessary), but i also want to provide clear textual evidence for why i stand by this interpretation. since i don't have the time today to go through the whole book and draw out the specific passages i have in mind, i'll just pull this one quote from the guanyin temple sequence for now and come back to this post with additional quotes as reblogs later:

Only after the word came out did [Lan Xichen] remember that he’d already one-sidedly broke off with Jin GuangYao, and thus he shouldn’t call him [A-Yao]. However, Jin GuangYao seemed as if he didn’t notice it, his expression collected, “Brother, don’t be surprised that I can call him such dirty things. To this father of mine, I once had hopes as well. In the past, as long as it was his command, whether it be to betray Sect Leader Wen or protect Xue Yang or remove anyone who disagreed, no matter how foolish it was, how hated I’d be, I’d obey regardlessly. But do you know what it was that made me lose hope completely? I’ll answer your first question now. It wasn’t that I’d never be worth a single hair on Jin ZiXuan or one of the holes in Jin ZiXun, it wasn’t that he took back Mo XuanYu, it wasn’t that he tried every possible way to make me a mere figurehead either. It was the truth he once told the maid beside me when he was out indulging himself again [...]" -EXR translation, pg 984

bolded emphasis is mine because i think these textual context clues provide insight into jgy's state of mind, both in this moment where he is struggling to maintain his composure (and will later fail to maintain it), as well as in the past when he was carrying out these actions for jgs. i think we have every reason to believe that jgy is being honest when he says that he once had hope of receiving his father's affection, recognition, and respect, given what we have seen of his past actions prior to his legitimization. i also think he's being honest when he describes the actions he takes for jgs as being foolish, or certain to make people hate him, because... well, that's precisely what happens in the text, isn't it? his word choice is deliberate when he describes his own actions: they were foolish, and he knew that he would be hated for doing them, but even while doing them, he held out hope that perhaps one day, he would have done enough to earn the thing that jgs gave freely and unconditionally to his other children. one day, he would not have to do these terrible things that jgs never, ever asked of jzx, or jzn, or mxy, ever again.

and then. and then.

anywho. /sticks a bookmark on this post, i will come back to this, probably.

#mdzs meta #jin guangyao #he did crimes??? good for him 😌

[everythingpresley]

Don't You Kiss Me Once or Twice - Chapter 11

Character/Fandom: Elvis - Elvis (2022)

Prompt: Jessica Anderson is Elvis Presley's assistant and after months of working together, slowly something sparks between them. Friendship? Or is it more? [ Fem!Reader ]

Rating: Explicit/Mature (NSFW, 18+), Slowburn

    ||     Word Count: 7,178

Author's Note: I'm really having doubts about this chapter but I hope you guys like it! Since one of my favorite RomComs (How to lose a guy in 10 days) is trending on tiktok, I thought I would include a small part! Also, shout out to @iheqrtaustin for the idea of Elvis getting handsy when he finds out someone has a crush on Jess.

Masterlist

Don't You Kiss Me Once or Twice - Chapter 11

Elvis and the guys were in the Jungle room recording some new music. Graceland was full house today with all the mafia members, their wives and their kids so it was kind of hectic but fun. I loved being around kids, not so much in regards to teenagers but none of the mafia members had kids older than 10/11. Everyone was running around having fun, I walked down to the Jungle room to see if Elvis needed anything.

I opened the door quietly, making sure they weren’t in the middle of recording a song. They were all talking and chatting with one another.

“Hey guys.” I smiled.

“Hi Jess!” They all said in unison which made me chuckle. 

“Do you guys need anything?” 

“Water please doll.” Elvis said, the rest of the guys nodding along.

“Popcorn.” Charlie said. 

I chuckled “You got it Charlie.”

I looked back at Elvis to see him frowning looking between Charlie and me. I furrowed my brows but chose to ignore it.

“I’ll be back.” I said and walked out. 

“Uh uh.” I heard Elvis say as I walked down with popcorn and bottles of water for the Mafia members “She’s off limits.” 

I stopped and furrowed my brows. I know it was wrong to listen in on conversations but I couldn’t help but be nosy.

“But-“ Charlie sighed “She’s gorgeous and kind and funny! Plus she has a really nice butt.” 

“Charlie. Don’t.” Jerry warned. 

“What the fuck did you just say?” Elvis growled.

“What? It’s true.” Charlie chuckled awkwardly “Look E.P I just wanted your permission to ask her out on a date. That’s it.” 

“Don’t you dare talk about her in that way.” Elvis growled “Have some respect.”

“We always talk about girls that way.” Charlie replied. 

“Listen. She’s my assistant and she’s. Off. Limits. I don’t want anyone getting involved with her.” Elvis replied.

Oh shit, they’re talking about me. Charlie thinks my butt is nice?? Ew.

“It’s just a date. Why is she off limits?” Charlie replied quietly. 

“I think she’s seeing someone actually.” Jerry said.

I am? What does Jerry know that I don’t?

“What?” Charlie and Elvis asked in unison.

“Who?” Elvis continued. 

“I don’t know.” Jerry cleared his throat “Grace mentioned some guy called Matt.” 

Elvis scoffed “Please. She’s been on one date with the guy and said nothing came of it.” 

We also almost kissed at Elvis’ party but I haven’t talked to him in a while. Janice has been hounding me on calling him and going out on a date with him. 

I knocked on the door, deciding enough was enough. Why the hell were they discussing my dating life and I hated being the topic of conversation in their locker room talk. I was just glad Elvis and Jerry put a stop to it instead of letting Charlie go on. I liked Charlie, he was sweet and funny but I’m not attracted to him in any way, shape or form. 

“Okay.” I forced a smile, pretending like I didn’t just hear any of that “Water for everyone and popcorn for Charlie.” I said, placing the tray filled with water bottle and a bowl of popcorn on the coffee table. I didn’t look at Charlie, I didn’t want him to think I was flirting with him or doing something to encourage his thoughts especially after getting drunk together and dancing with him. 

“Let me know if you need anything else, I’ll be upstairs.” I said, looking at Elvis who nodded in response. The mafia threw around a murmur of thank yous as they reached for the water. 

I walked up the stairs seeing the kids running around and shouting as they played tag. They were being a bit loud and Elvis was trying to record. 

“Hey kids!” I shouted getting their attention “How about we go outside, enjoy the sun and play tag.” 

“Yeah!” They all cheered and ran outside.

“Jess, you don't have to do that.” One of the wives laughed. 

“It’s okay, I love kids. Plus I think Elvis might march up here at any minute saying that he can’t record.” 

I headed outside to see the kids waiting patiently for me to come out. 

“Okay, I’ll count to ten. Everybody hide!” I said and turned to give them my back while I counted. 

I ran after the kids while they shrieked loudly and ran away from me. I laughed as I ran after Sofia and wrapped my arms around her waist from behind, picking her up “Tag, you’re it!” I said while she giggled. I placed her back on the grass and ran away from her.  

We had been playing for a while when the kids decided they wanted to tackle me instead of playing tag. 

“Get Jess!” Ethan, one of the kids yelled which made all of them run after me while I sprinted across the yard. 

I could see the group of adults standing on the foyer, Elvis being one of them, standing with his arms crossed of his chest and a huge grin on his face. 

“Save me!” I laughed, still running away from the huge group of kids. 

“Get her kids!” Elvis yelled. 

“Traitor!” I yelled back and then shrieked when Elvis jumped down the steps that lead to the house and started running after me along with the kids. 

I sped up but Elvis was faster and was able to wrap his arms around my waist and tackled me softly to the ground, making sure he landed on the bottom while I landed on top of him with my back against his chest. We were both laughing as the kids threw themselves on top of us. 

“Ouch!” I laughed when one of the kids’ elbows dug into my ribs.

“Okay! Okay! Kids off!” Joe yelled, clapping his hands “Come on!” 

The kids groaned and got off. I rolled off of Elvis and got up, dusting off my jeans. I reached my hand out to Elvis, he grabbed my hand and pushed himself off the ground. 

“Jess, will you still play with us?” Ethan asked. 

“Yeah come on, one more round and then that’s it.” I replied “Go take a break, drink some juice and we’ll play the next round.” 

“You’re really good with kids.” Elvis said, smiling softly. 

“It’s the big sister in me.” I chuckled, shrugging.

“Aren’t you supposed to be recording?” I asked, walking towards the house with Elvis walking next to me. 

“I was but then the kids and your screams kept interrupting us.” Elvis replied, giving me a pointed look.

“Oops.” I laughed “I took them outside so that you can record, it seems like I was no help.” 

“It’s okay.” He laughed. 

“Let’s go!” The kids yelled, running out of the house.

“Play with us.” I said, grabbing his arm when he started going up the steps.

“No.” He shook his head.

“Pleaaase.” I pouted, squeezing his forearm. He frowned looking at me for a second then he rolled his eyes. 

“Fine.” He huffed. 

I grinned, power of manipulation. Seems like the King can’t handle when someone pouts. 

We started with Elvis being it, he ran towards me making me sprint the other way “Sofia! Save me!”

“No!” Sofia giggled. 

I gasped “Sofia! You’re supposed to be my friend!” 

“No one is going to save you Jess!” Elvis chuckled, still running after me and completely ignore the kids he ran past. 

“You’re it!” Elvis yelled when he tapped my shoulder and ran away from me. I huffed and turned to run after him. 

“I’m done! I don’t want to play anymore!” He yelled, running away from me. 

I laughed at him “That’s not fair!” 

Elvis grabbed Ethan and placed him in front of him “One more step Jessica and off goes the boy.” He threatened. 

“Please Jess tag me! You guys are no fun! You’re just playing with each other.” Ethan grumbled, trying to shrug Elvis’ hands off of his shoulders. 

“I don't want to play! Tag Ethan!” Elvis said. I grinned and side stepped Ethan, making Elvis take off. 

“You’re so fast! You and your incredibly long legs!” I yelled after Elvis. Elvis laughed and headed towards the pool, putting the pool between us. 

“No where to go!” I said. 

“Actually, there is somewhere to go.” He smirked. I furrowed my brows when all of a sudden he came running towards me. I gasped when he hugged me to him and threw both of us into the pool. 

“Oh you son of a bitch.” I gasped, laughing when I shot out of the water. Elvis laughed and slicked his now wet hair back and away from his forehead. I laughed, placing my hands on his shoulders and pushed him down into the water. I held his head down for a second when he started tickling my sides under water, I shrieked and dropped my hands off of his shoulders. 

“Were you trying to drown your boss?” Elvis asked with a huge grin on his face.

“Yes! And I would’ve gotten away with it if it weren’t for my ticklish body.” 

Elvis laughed and reached over to swipe some of my wet hair back and away from my face. I smiled softly, feeling my cheeks heat up at the close proximity. Elvis and I were a few inches away from one another. His grin faltered and he sighed, his eyes drifting down to my lips. He kept his hand on my cheek, his thumb rubbing softly back and forth. I licked my lips, looking at his lips. 

“Are we going to continue the game or are you guys going to start making out?” Ethan asked, with his hands on his waist. Elvis allowed his hand to fall off of my cheek. 

“Ethan!” I gasped, splashing water at him. 

Ethan laughed and ran away. Elvis sighed and started going up the steps to get out of the pool.

“We need to start getting ready for the BBQ tonight.” Elvis said, not looking back at me as he walked into the house dripping wet. My heart was still racing as I followed Elvis out of the pool and into the house. 

I showered and got dressed in a dress for the BBQ, the house was in full swing. The guys and Elvis were preparing the meat, the wives were setting up the tables, Martha and I prepared the mashed potatoes and salads while the kids continued running around playing various games. 

Elvis kind of avoided me the entire time we were setting up, I also kind of did the same since I really wanted to kiss him. 

Did he feel the intense feeling I felt while we were in the pool? Sometimes I just have this overwhelming need to be close to him. Was it because he was kind of a forbidden fruit or am I actually developing feelings for this man? We are definitely a great team, my job doesn’t feel like a job most of the time. Slowly over the course of the two years I have worked for him we had gotten closer and closer. Even the simple act of him defending me makes my heart swell. I know he will always protect me and I will always protect him even if it is from his own father. 

The men started distributing the steaks, I usually made my own at the end because I loved mine medium rare so I was waiting for everyone to get their meat and head to the sides buffet. I walked out of the kitchen and into the yard with a bunch of drinks for everyone. As I placed the drinks on the table, Elvis walked to me with two plates of steak in his hands.

“Here.” He said, handing me one of the plates “I made yours medium rare.” He fake gaged, he loved his well done. I chuckled and rolled my eyes at him. 

“You made mine?” I asked, taking the plate from his hand. 

“Yes.”

“Thank you Elvis.” I smiled, be still my heart. 

“Your welcome darlin’” He smiled softly. 

Everyone took a seat at the multiple tables that were placed on the yard but I couldn’t find an empty chair for myself. I took my plate with me, heading towards the house to grab a chair from the kitchen. I passed the table where Elvis, Charlie, Red and Joe sat at.

“Where you goin’ doll?” Elvis asked. I stopped by their table.

“I need to see if there are any extra chairs inside, there’s no place for me to sit.” I replied. Elvis smirked then turned his head and smirked at Charlie who furrowed his brows in confusion. 

“Nonsense. There’s plenty for room right here.” Elvis replied gesturing to his lap. 

“Funny.” 

What was he trying to do? Make Charlie jealous?

“I ain’t makin’ a joke doll.” He replied, still smirking. He rolled his eyes then wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me down to his lap.

“Elvis.” I said through gritted teeth. Elvis chuckled, placing his hand on my bare thigh and moved my legs so that they were between his legs, I was now siting sideways on his lap. I held my breath at the slight touch. The mafia chuckled while Charlie gulped and stared intently down at his plate. 

I sighed and placed my plate next to his. 

I was frozen in place, Elvis’ arms still around me. The arm that was around me held the knife while the other held the fork. He cut into his steak and took a bite. 

“Aren’t you going to eat, Jess?” Joe asked, biting his lip to stop himself from laughing at how uncomfortable I looked siting on my boss’ lap.

“I’m good.” I smiled timidly at Joe, he chuckled and shook his head. 

Elvis on the other hand paid no attention and reached for my plate, cutting into my steak. 

“Here.” He said raising his fork to my mouth. I moved my head back and turned to look at him, my mouth gaping open.

“Just eat darlin’.” He chuckled. 

“No.” I grumbled, pushing his hand away. I placed my feet on the ground, moving to get off his lap. Elvis dropped the knife and placed his hand on my waist, pushing me back to sit on his lap.

“Where do you think you’re running off to?” He whispered in my ear “Now eat.” He growled lowly. 

I sighed and ate the piece of meat that was on the fork he held.

“That’s my good girl.” He whispered in my ear and looked towards the mafia to see them all looking at their plates as they ate, he quickly planted a small kiss on my neck. I choked on the steak as his lips made contact with my neck.

“Wow.” Elvis chuckled and patted my back softly “You alright?”

“Yes.” I replied and reached to take a sip of water “You are so dead.” I whispered into my cup before taking a sip. 

Elvis threw his head back and laughed “I didn’t do anything!”

“You wish she was siting in your lap, huh Charlie?” Elvis asked with a huge smirk on his face. 

“Elvis.” I hissed. Charlie choked on his steak while Joe and Red laughed at him. 

“Don’t listen to him Charlie. Ignore him.” I said. 

“Jess.” Grace said walking up to our table “You can use my chair, I’m done eating.” She said pointing at her chair which was two tables away from us.

“Thanks Grace.” I replied, she gave me a look that said “We’ll talk about this later.”

“Thanks Grace but she’s fine here, ain’t that right Jessica?” Elvis asked, narrowing his eyes at me.

“No, you’re very wrong actually.” I replied, grabbing his hand that has now started to softly caress my bare thigh and pushed it off. He pouted when I stood up, I reached over and pinched his arm. 

“Ouch! What was that for!” He laughed, rubbing his arm. 

“For being annoying.” I replied, picking up my plate. The other mafia members laugh at Elvis while he rubs his arm to ease the pain. 

That son of a bitch. Embarrassing Charlie and I like that. He deserved a punch to his shoulder instead. 

We had music playing the entire time but after dinner the TCB band got on the make shift stage in the yard and started goofing around using their instruments. People were getting up on the stage and singing, the BBQ kind of turned into a karaoke party and it was hilarious. 

“What the heck was that earlier!” Grace asked standing next to me as we watched one of the mafia wives sing. 

“I don’t know! Ugh! I wanna punch him!” I grumbled.

Grace laughed and shook her head “Jerry told me that Charlie has a crush on you.” She wiggled her brows.

“I know! I overheard him saying he wanted to ask me out on a date! Grace, he’s not my type at all!” 

“Yeah, I know your type.” Grace replied and pointed at Elvis with her eyes. 

I scoffed and rolled my eyes but didn’t deny it. 

“And you know what I think he was trying to do? I think he was showing Charlie that you were his.”

“His?! No. I think he was trying to show that he’s the alpha male, that asshole.” I huffed. 

“You need to open your eyes Jess.” Grace said “Jerry and I see the way you two look at each other.” She said sincerely. I gulped nervously, avoiding her eyes. 

“I wanna sing.” I said, staring at the stage “Come up with me.” I said pulling on her hand.

“No way.” Grace shook her head.

“Please! I can’t get up there on my own.” I pouted. 

“Fine, but which song?” Grace asked. I smirked, I knew the exact song to dedicate it to Elvis. 

“Oh no.” Grace laughed, reading my mind. 

Let’s be clear, I don’t have the best singing voice and if you would’ve told me a year ago I would be singing in front of Elvis Presley I would’ve laughed in your face but after spending so much time with him I no longer feel shy to sing in front of him. Plus, he’s heard me scream along to music in the car. 

“You’re so vain by Carly Simon.” I whispered to the band. They smiled and nodded, knowing the song because it came out recently and its been a big hit. 

I looked at Elvis and smirked while he smiled back at me. 

“For you.” I mouthed to him and winked. He furrowed his brows and sat up in his seat, straightening his back.

Grace started singing the beginning of the song while I waited for my turn to start singing the song.

“And all the girls dreamed they’d be Elvis’ partner! They’d be Elvis’ partner, and!” I sang loudly into the mic “You’re so vain!” I grinned and pointed at Elvis “You probably think this song is about you, you’re so vain! I bet you think this song is about you, don’t you, don’t you!”

Elvis rolled his eyes, biting his smile back. Grace and I continued singing and dancing, the other wives singing loudly along with us. I obviously don’t think he’s vain but he really annoyed me plus the song was stuck in my head ever since it came out. 

Grace and I laughed and hugged each other as the song came to an end. 

After a few more people went up, Elvis came to stand next to me.

“Nice song.”

“Thanks, I hope you liked the dedication.” I smirked. 

“Oh I loved it.” He replied sarcastically “I especially loved the lyric change to my name.” 

“I think that line was the only line that’s true about you in the song.” I chuckled.

“So you don’t think I’m vain?” 

I gaped and turned to look at him “You didn’t think I was serious right?”

He chuckled and shook his head “No, I didn't think you were serious. Did I think you were getting up on that stage and proclaiming your endless love to me through a song? Maybe.” He joked. 

“I was thinking of singing I love you, baby to Charlie.” I joked. 

Elvis gave me a poker face “Not funny.” He grumbled. 

“Who’s next?” John asked into the mic.

“Elvis!” I yelled, grabbing Elvis’ hand and raising up in the air.

Elvis shook his head, no.

“Elvis! Elvis!” Everyone started to chant. 

Elvis sighed and pulled his hand out of my grasp “This is the second time I do something for you today.” He said, poking my nose while I grinned at him in victory. 

“How will I ever repay you?” I asked sarcastically.

He grinned and leaned in, as if about to hug me but instead whispered in my ear “You. In my room, once everyone is gone.” 

I took a deep breath, feeling like my entire body was on fire. 

He grinned moving back to see my face. I clenched my jaw which made him chuckle “You’re so cute.” 

“Go.” I grumbled, pushing him back by pushing his chest.  

He laughed and headed towards the stage. 

“Okay! Any requests?” Elvis asked, swinging a guitar over his shoulder. 

“Lawdy Miss Clawdy!” I yelled, cupping my hands around my mouth. 

“Anything for you.” He winked, speaking into the mic.

Why is he being overly flirtatious? 

Grace turned from where she stood next to Jerry to give me a look. I rolled my eyes at her. 

Her words rang through my head for a second before I shook them off “I think he was showing Charlie that you were his.”

He started singing, fully keeping eye contact with me as he sang the lyrics.

“Well, lawdy, lawdy, lawdy miss clawdy. Girl, you sure look good to me. But please don’t excite me baby, I know it can’t be me.” He grinned. 

“Lord, I swear, girl, what you’ve been doin’ to me. I’m gonna tell everybody that I’m down in misery.” He wiggled his brows which made me chuckle.

“So bye, bye, bye baby!” I yelled, singing along making him chuckle mid song “Girl, I won’t be coming no more! Goodbye, little darling, down the road I’ll go!”

“That’s it! Thank you!” Elvis said, removing the strap off the guitar and handed the guitar over to John. 

I was finally able to catch up with Janice after being on tour but she kept on hounding me on calling Matt up. She says it would be cute for us to both be in a relationship at the same times since her and Chris made things official over the four months that I was gone. I liked Matt, I don’t know him well enough and honestly he’s been out of my mind since Elvis and I slept together but I decided why not give it a shot. I called him up and asked him out on a date during the weekend because it was my day off. For some reason I felt slightly guilty going out with him when I know I shouldn’t be. Elvis clearly moved on the day it happened and slept with so many girls after me so I shouldn’t be feeling the way I was. I ignored it and got ready instead. It was 6PM and I was almost done getting ready when someone knocked on my bedroom door. Opening the door I was met with Grace.

“Hey! What are you doin’ here?” I grinned.

“Jerry needed to drop some things and I thought I would come and see what plans you have for the weekend. Based on the way you look, you’re going out!” She wiggled her brows “Please tell me its a guy.”

I rolled my eyes with a smile on my face “It is.” 

“That Matt guy you told me about?” 

“Yup.” 

“Does Elvis know?” She raised her brow.

I frowned “Why should Elvis know?”

“No reason. Just asking.” She shrugged “So what are you guys doing?”

“Early dinner at that Italian place then maybe a walk in the park.” 

Grace smiled softly “Have fun Jess.”

Matt and I were having a great time at dinner. We talked a lot and were having a lot of fun. We started walking along the side walk a few blocks from the restaurant. Matt slowly reached for my hand and intertwined our fingers together. I looked up at him and smiled while he blushed and smiled back. 

“I hope you liked our date.” He said.

“I really enjoyed it, Matt.” I smiled. 

“I honestly keep getting the vibe that you might not want this. So I was shocked when you called me yesterday.” He said, still holding my hand as we walked. 

“You know I was gone for like four months and honestly I don’t think a relationship would work if I’m away a lot.” 

“You want this to be a relationship?” He asked, biting his lip.

“We’ll see.” I chuckled. 

“So we’ll go on more dates?” He asked, his eyes lighting up with hope. 

“Yeah, why not?” 

Matt stopped walking and pulled me back to stand in front of him, he grabbed my other hand and smiled down at me “We never got to kiss at that party.”

“Yeah.” I breathed. It was weird that I didn’t get this intense feeling to kiss him. This pull that I always felt when I was with Elvis, it was like he had this gravitational pull to him and I couldn’t help but want to lean in to feel his lips on mine. 

He leaned in cautiously, his eyes glancing back and forth between my eyes and lips, gauging my reaction. I closed my eyes and leaned forward. His lips gently met mine, he smiled against my lips. It was sweet but it didn’t make my heart beat out of my chest, it didn’t make me feel like I couldn’t breathe. I pulled back and smiled reassuringly, I didn’t want him to think I didn’t like the kiss. 

“Let’s go get some ice cream?” I asked. 

“Sure.” He grinned and nodded. 

We continued walking hand in hand when all of a sudden a loud honk from a car burst out next to us. I jumped, because the car appeared out of no where and the street that we were walking on was practically empty. I turned as the car pulled up next to us with the windows rolled down.

“Get in the car.” Elvis growled from the driver’s seat. 

What in the hell?

“Elvis?” What was he doing here.

“Get. In. The. Car. Jess.” Elvis said not looking at me but instead looking straight ahead. 

“Hey man, we’re kind of in the middle of something right now.” Matt said, squeezing my hand. 

“Hey man” Elvis mocked Matt’s tone, turning to look at us. “I wasn’t talking to you.” Elvis’ jaw clenched when his eyes drifted to our joined hands. I gulped and pulled my hand out of Matt’s grip, choosing not to fight Elvis because I had never seen him this angry even in the darkness of the night I could tell he was mad about something.

“It’s okay Matt. I’ll-I’ll call you later, okay?” I practically whispered to him. 

“Jess.” Matt shook his head “We’re on a date, it’s you day off. You have no obligation to him.” 

“It’s fine. Raincheck, okay?” I gave him a forced smile. 

Matt sighed and nodded. I reached over and grabbed the handle of Elvis’ Cadillac, opening the door and getting in. The moment I slammed the door shut, Elvis sped off. 

He was gripping the steering wheel so hard, his knuckles were turning white. He kept clenching and unclenching his jaw, looking straight at the road.

“Are you okay? Did something happen?” I asked, really confused. 

How did he even know where I was? 

He breathed heavily and ignored me. The restaurant we ate at wasn’t far from Graceland so we got home fast. Elvis got out of the car and slammed the door harshly causing the whole car to shake. He grumbled something under his breath, clenching and unclenching his fist, storming into the house. I remained seated in the car, shocked and confused. I got out of the car and walked up the steps that lead to the house. Grace and Jerry walked out just as I was about to open the door. 

“I’m really sorry Jess.” Grace winced. 

“Why?” I furrowed my brows, confused as to why she’s apologizing. 

“He asked me where you went and I thought just to provoke him, I told him you went on a date with Matt. I didn’t think he’d drive over to you and pick you up.” 

“How would that provoke him?” I asked.

“Jess.” Jerry started.

“Jess, did something happen between you two? He seemed really hurt when I told him.” Grace interrupted. 

I chose to ignore her question. “I don't get why he’s mad. He’s mad that I went out on a date? He has no right to be, he has slept with dozens of girls.” I said, starting to get mad. Especially after knowingly making me walk in on him fucking a girl and then making me get him another girl to fuck. Was he doing that on purpose? To get me jealous. 

“I think you two need to talk.” Jerry replied.

The problem was right now I did not want to talk, I wanted to fight. 

Jerry and Grace left, I stormed into the house. 

“Why are you mad?” I asked when I saw Elvis stomping up the stairs, heading to his room.

“I’m not.” He growled. 

“Oh really?” I hissed. 

“Don’t start Jess.” He replied, continuing up the steps.

“You started it.”

“I did not.” He turned around “I needed you here and you weren’t there. You didn’t even tell me you’re going out.”

“Oh, you happen to need me on my day off? I don’t have to tell you anything. It’s My. Day. Off.” I growled. 

“When you’re going out fucking around with random guys-“ He growled but I interrupted him.

“Oh! So its okay for you to fuck other girls but I can’t fuck other guys?” I clenched my jaw, I hated how he made me feel like the dirtiest person. Hypocrite. 

“You fucked him?!” He yelled, storming down the stairs and coming to stand an inch away from my face, breathing heavily, his nostrils flaring. His eyes engulfed in rage, his bright blue eyes now dark as night. 

“Yes! And it was amazing.” I said, wanting to push his buttons. What was he going to do?

“I-I-I’m gonna fucking kill him.” He hissed, moving back and going to the table to grab his keys. He stomped to the front door, car keys in hand.

Oh crap, he’s serious. 

“Elvis! I didn’t!” I yelled jogging after him as he headed out, I grabbed onto his arm and pulled him back “I didn’t sleep with him.” I said, gently.

He stared into my eyes, looking back and forth, seeing if I was lying or not. 

“Did you kiss him?” He whispered. I stayed quiet, dropping my hand from his arm. He clenched his jaw, grinding down on his molars, moving closer making me step back until the front door hit my back.

“Did. You. Kiss. Him?” 

I gulped “Yes.” I whispered. 

“That son of a bitch.” 

“You have no right to be mad.” I whispered. 

He grabbed my face with one hand and swiped his thumb harshly over my lips as if to wipe something off. 

“You deserve some serious spanking.” He muttered over his breath, still holding my face.

My chest heaved, starting into his eyes. Heat pooling down at the thought of being thrown over his knee. 

“Fuck this.” He grumbled, smashing his lips to mine. Oh fuck I missed those lips. I moaned, allowing him to slip his tongue into my mouth. I grabbed onto his shirt and pulled him closer. His hand slipped from my face instead grabbing onto my hips, pulling me closer to him. My pelvis pushing into his, I could feel his semi hard on poking my hip. He reached back and opened the front door, pushing me into the house while still kissing me. 

“Elvis.” I sighed against his lips. 

“Hmm?” He asked, kissing my lips. 

“Elvis.” I said, pulling my face back. Both of us panting heavily, my hands still on his chest and his hands still wrapped around my waist. 

“Don’t Jess.” Elvis sighed, shaking his head. 

“We can’t.” I whispered “You know we can’t.” 

“Tell me this kiss was better. You know it was.” He said, leaning his forehead on mine.

It was. Of course it was. He didn't even have to ask.

“Elvis, the kiss with Matt was barely a peck.” I whispered, moving my hands up to cup his cheeks. He sighed, keeping his forehead on mine and closed his eyes as I caressed his cheeks. 

I didn’t want to admit that it was way better and I felt nothing when I kissed Matt but maybe it’s because I developed an emotional connection with Elvis that made the kiss way better. I’m trying to gaslight myself at this point to believe I would feel something for Matt. I wanted to, he was sweet and kind and funny and… safe. 

Elvis then leaned in a planted a chaste kiss on my lips “Let’s not do anything you’ll regret tomorrow.” He whispered then pulled away and walked up the stairs without turning back. He slammed his bedroom door with force. He emphasized you. I didn’t really regret it, it was amazing but I think it placed this weird tension between us. I felt guilty for a second but the anger came back because he’s such a hypocrite. How dare he be mad at me for going on a date?! Just because we slept together he now thinks I owe him an explantation when I did nothing wrong. It wasn’t like I brought Matt over and paraded him around like he did with girls. He had no regard to my feelings so why should I regard his?

Thank god no one was home except Grandma Dodger who was probably asleep since it was 10PM, hopefully she didn’t hear our yelling because we were being so loud. I took a deep breath and stomped down to my room. I slammed my bedroom door shut and got ready for bed. Sleep felt like a lost cause because I kept tossing and turning especially since I wasn’t used to sleeping this early, I usually slept at midnight. My mind was racing. The Matt kiss, then Elvis appearing out of nowhere, the Elvis kiss. I kissed two guys in one night, who am I? I groaned, this day was so good then Elvis had to ruin it. I actually enjoyed the date, it was fun. Screw him, why am I up thinking about him anyway?! I squeezed my eyes shut and did some breathing exercises that I heard helped make your body relax and make you fall asleep. 

I don’t know how long I fell asleep for but I heard a soft knock on my bedroom door. I opened my eyes and turned to the clock that was placed on my bedside table, it was 5AM. What the heck? Who’s up at 5AM?

I yawned, running my fingers through my hair to tame my bedhead down. I opened the door to see Elvis dressed in a thick jacket and jeans with a cowboy hat on his head. 

“Good morning.” He smiled. 

“Morning?” I said, it came out as a question because what is he doing here at 5 in the morning?

“Get dressed and wear a jacket, its cold outside.” He said and started to walk away.

“What, why?” I asked, looking at him with wide eyes.

“Just do it Jess and wear your cowboy hat and boots!” He called walking away, not turning around. 

What the heck? I shrugged but still got ready. It wasn’t that cold yet during this time of year but it was getting colder at night and early morning. So I wore a dress with some shorts underneath and a jean jacket with wool on the inside and my cowboy hat. I walked out of the house, the sun had just started to rise and it was kind of cold. I spotted Elvis feeding his horse Rising Sun. 

“What’s going on?” I called, leaning on the wooden fence. 

Elvis turned and grinned taking in my cowboy hat “Do you want to learn how to ride a horse?” 

I grinned “You’re going to teach me how to ride?”

He shrugged and nodded. I could tell from the look on his face that this was his apology for last night. Plus it made my heart pound in my chest because he remembered when I said I wanted to learn how to ride. 

“Elvis, you don’t have to.” I sighed. 

“I want to. Now come here.” He said. I walked over to the little wooden door and walked towards him and Rising sun.

“You’ve ever ridden a horse before?” He asked as I reached over to pet Rising Sun and shook my head no “Okay, I’ll help you up.”

I placed my foot on the saddle and tried jumping on but I couldn’t so instead Elvis wrapped his hands around my waist and hoisted me up on the horse. 

“You okay?” He laughed when he saw the grin on my face. 

“I’m more than okay.” I replied, looking down at him. 

“I’m glad. Let me lead you around and get you and Rising sun comfortable.” He said, pulling on his reins and leading the way. 

“This is the best day ever.” I said which made Elvis chuckle. 

“We’ve barely started. One step to getting your cowgirl fantasy.” He said. I laughed because he actually remembered everything I said that day. 

After a little bit of Elvis walking us around, he gave Rising Sun a snack for being a good boy. 

“Do you want to go get coffee and then we can get started on your official first lesson.” Elvis said. 

We walked together to the kitchen and drank our coffee then headed back to the stables. 

When we walked out we spotted Grace and Jerry getting out of their cars.

“Hey! Good morning! You guys are up early!” Grace said, looking between us. Probably thinking back to last night and if we were okay. I smiled reassuringly at her. 

“Yeah, I’m getting a horse riding lesson from this one.” I grinned at Elvis who smiled softly back at me “What are you guys doing here?” I asked. 

“Oh I needed to pick up some paperwork but we’re on our way to go visit my parents and its a few hours away.” Jerry replied. 

“It’s on my desk upstairs.” Elvis pointed back to the house. Jerry nodded and headed towards the house while Grace, Elvis and me walked to the horses. 

Elvis helped me up again on the horse while Grace leaned against the fence, watching us.

“Okay, pull on the reins and get him to walk.” Elvis said standing next to the horse. 

I pulled on the reins but he stayed still “He’s not moving.”

“Give him a little kick.” Elvis replied.

I gasped “I’m not going to kick him!” 

Elvis threw his head back and laughed “Just a small one, it doesn’t hurt them, don’t worry.”

I looked at him with uncertainty and shook my head no. 

“Honey, just a small kick.” 

“Jess! Turn!” Grace called out. I looked at her and smiled when I noticed her pointing her film camera at me “I got a new camera and you look really cute, I had to take a picture.”

I chuckled. 

“Okay, let me show you. Move up a bit.” Elvis said. I scooted forward on the saddle as Elvis hoisted himself up and swung his legs around the horse. He wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me back into him a bit. His thighs wrapped around mine. “Okay, watch my foot.” He said and gently kicked Rising Sun causing him to trot forward. I jerked back into Elvis’ chest at the sudden movement. 

“Come here! Let me get a picture of you two.” Grace said calling us over. Elvis led Rising Sun to where Grace stood. We both smiled at Grace as she took the picture “Okay, now without the cowboy hats.”

I removed my hat and placed it on my lap, soothing my hair down while Elvis did the same. He then leaned his head forward and placed his chin on my shoulder, wrapping an arm around my waist, both of us grinning at Grace. 

“Aww, so cute.” Grace said. 

Elvis kissed my cheek and leaned back, pulling on the reins to walk Rising Sun away. I bit my lip, my cheeks heating up in embarrassment. 

Jerry and Grace waved goodbye, getting in their car and leaving. 

“Okay, you ready to do this on your own?” Elvis asked. I wanted to say no just to keep his arms wrapped around me but I nodded so he gently jumped down to the ground. 

“Actually I think it would be better if you wore a helmet, you’re not very confident and it sometimes scares the horse.” He said and stretched his hand to me, to help me off the horse. We walked to the stables, I hung my cowboy hat on one of the hooks. Elvis grabbed a horse riding helmet off the hook and placed it on my head, clipping it in place. 

“You ready?” He smiled at me, placing his hand on top of the helmet that was on my head and shook it. 

“Yes! Let’s go!” I said and pulled him with me. 

I got on the horse again and gently kicked him to move.

“Great! You’re doing so good!” Elvis said as I started walking Rising Sun around. 

I walked Rising sun around for a little while then I wanted him to trot. 

“Not yet.” Elvis said.

“Please.” I pouted. 

“Doll, you need to be really confident and know how to hold on.” Elvis shook his head “No.”

“Pleeaase.” I begged. He sighed and looked up at the sky “Just a little bit.”

“Fine, but hold on tight. Kick him a bit stronger. But please hold on tight.” Elvis said and leaned his back on the fence, crossing his arms over his chest. 

I kicked him stronger than the last time. 

“Wow!” I yelped and tightening my hold on him but it worked. 

“Good job!” Elvis grinned. 

I turned my head and smiled at him, loosening my hold on the reins when Rising Sun reared back and stood up on its hind legs. I gasped, my body jerking back. Everything felt like it was happening in slow-motion but it all happened in a second. I slipped off the horse and landed on the ground, my head slamming harshly on the sand. Darkness engulfed me, hearing Elvis call out to me from a distance. 

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[sk8termikey]

Chapter 4 of 21 Questions

better interface on wattpad

Matt, Lily finally had a name to put instead of only texting the random digits that Alex had given to her a few days prior. Unable to resist and despite the late hour, Lily was eager to share this with her best friend who would definitely enjoy having the latest details regarding the mystery boy as she had called him.

As Lily got up from her bed and rushed to her friend’s room, she didn’t wait for a response when she knocked and immediately entered – Lily knew that Alex was still awake because of the light coming from the bedroom and the fact that Alex was a hundred percent a night owl. The look on Lily’s face and her tone were enough to draw Alex’s attention:

“Alex!”

“Lily!” the blonde replied with the same excitement her best friend had despite not knowing yet what would follow.

“Guess who has a sort of new friend?” Lily asked with a tone that was pretty much giving the answer. 

“Ooh mystery boy is back? Tell me!” Alex was absolutely involved in whatever happened between her friend and the stranger.

“Okay sooo, I have a name: it’s Matt. we actually cleared the ghosting situation, he was just busy which is completely understandable like– we barely know each other so I didn’t need a whole explanation to be honest.” Lily shrugged as saying that – it was true, she wasn’t really bothered by it.

“What else have you learnt about him?”

Alex could see how genuine the smile on her best friend’s face was when talking about this potential new friendship of hers. By force of habit, Lily gave her unlocked phone to Alex for her to read the latest conversation while she replied to the question:

“I’m so happy because he is a huge Pokemon fan and I don’t know, I wasn’t expecting it like he’s not as into the DS games as I am but he seems to adore Pokemon like in general, the universe and everything as much as I do so it’s really exciting that we can bond on that! I hope we can find more stuff we have in common in the future like movies or TV shows, you know?”

While listening to Lily, Alex couldn’t help but think about the only Matt she knew: Matthew Sturniolo, one of the triplets she’s been following on YouTube. A bit far-stretched maybe, Alex thought as there were probably thousands of Matts on earth who love Pokemon, it's just a coincidence. 

For now, Alex was just enjoying her friend having someone else in her life apart from Jade and Lucas who also worked at the café. The blonde was thinking back to middle and high school when it had always been the two of them without anyone else. Obviously, they had had a few classmates they liked talking to at school, but never has Lily ever had other friends for she wasn’t very outgoing – Alex became more of an extroverted during high school and kept a couple of friends from that period but it was hard, even nowadays, for Lily to go up to people and get to know each other. Online friends was a concept that Alex always thought would correspond to Lily as speaking to people without meeting them was so much easier than being face to face with someone you absolutely don’t know. She was really hoping that this friendship would help Lily grow and appreciate new beginnings as well as changes.

~~~ 

For the following weeks, a new routine had started for Lily. On the one hand, she was spending more time knowing Matt – she had for instance learned that he loved hiking in the mountains, while she briefly talked about her wish to travel the world. On the other hand, Alex was successfully getting her deeper into the Sturniolo fandom and twice a week when Lily would come home from work, this was what she was welcomed with:

“NEW VIDEO!!” Alex shouted when hearing Lily close the door.

“Yayy, let me just take a shower and get changed, I’ll be here shortly”, Lily replied, eager to watch the new video.

“Okayyy, I'll wait for you! What’s twenty more minutes after an hour”, Alex laughed at herself.

Since Alex had managed to convert Lily into watching the triplets with her, she decided she would now wait for her best friend to come home so that they could watch the new videos together. Before that, Alex would simply watch the Sturniolo Triplets alone in her room, but as Lily had now found interest in watching them as well – Alex was glad the Wheel of Doom video had convinced Lily that the triplets might be funny, they actually started watching them on their TV in the living room.

After Lily returned from her well-deserved shower, the two girls sprawled out on the sofa and Alex gave a snack to Lily as she looked for the latest video on the boys’ channel – this had been their ritual for every Wednesday and Friday.

“I didn’t see the notif on my phone, what’s the title of today’s video?” Lily asked.

“It’s Triplets brothers lie detector test (Chris’s revenge), it’s gonna be so fun!” Alex replied, excited to see how it would turn out. “Remember last week it was only Chris who had to answer questions, so this time I guess he’s gonna ask Matt and Nick.”

“Yeah I remember, I’ll remind you that most of the time I’m the one with a better memory than you!” Lily argued – honestly it was half-true because there was one time when Lily forgot what Alex said to her only two seconds later. “Last week was really funny, I loved how Chris would just smile after every question for no reason.”

“Oh my god, yes he waaas”, Alex – a certified Chris girl – agreed with her best friend.

As they watched the video, the girls couldn’t stop laughing at the answers given by either Nick or Matt. For instance, when Nick denied that he would give a kidney to Matt – the reply being so quick but turning out to be a lie was always funny to see. Moreover, it simply ended up showing the special bond between the three brothers, something hard to understand but beautiful to look at.

Then, as Nick tried to cover the lie from John – the computer guy that somehow always does these tests, no matter the YouTuber, Lily couldn’t help but feel like she was missing a piece of information.

“Wait what– Chris has a brand? Of what?” she asked the girl sitting next to her.

“Oh, it's his clothing brand. I’ll show you after the video, it’s honestly sick!” Alex explained. “I’d die to have something from FreshLove”.

Unknown to Alex, this was something that Lily would definitely not forget as she was already planning on looking it up on her own – away from Alex’s eyes – so that she could maybe find a birthday present for her best friend. This was always a very special event for the both of them as they were both gift givers that loved trying to find or make the perfect gift for the other.

On the same subject, as Matt was now the one answering questions from his brother, a relationship as pure as the girls’ could be observed when Chris asked him if he ever felt jealous of his brothers. Matt’s no was agreed by John to be true; and while the three boys were smiling, Matt decided to add that he only felt proud of them, thus getting an aaww from both Chris and Nick – as well as Lily and Alex.

The video nearing to an end, Alex and Lily couldn’t help but burst out laughing when Chris mentioned his Pepsi addiction.

“It’s honestly a wonder how this guy even survives on Pepsi like– bro fully believes that it’s not crazy even when his brothers tell him it is.” Lily couldn’t comprehend this triplet.

“No yeah, I don’t know whether to cry or keep laughing right now because I know Chris is def not making it to forty years old”, Alex could only agree with the blonde.

After this simple exchange, Alex looked at her friend and couldn’t help but feel overjoyed with the feeling of knowing that the person she loves the most in her life was loving the same things as she does.

Thank you for reading. Votes and comments are always appreciated if you like this story :) The story is co-written w @/little_grapejuice

#christopher sturniolo #chris sturniolo #chris #matt #matt sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #nick #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo #nick stuniolo fanfic #fanfic

[risrielthron]

Risri Elthron

“Photography is a way of feeling, of touching, of loving. What you have caught on film is captured forever…It remembers little things, long after you have forgotten everything.”

Name: Risri Elthron Nickname: Ris, Big Bear Race: Kaldorei FC: Erica Cerra Language(s): Common, Darnassian, Thalassian and some Orcish. Height: 6′2″ Body Type: Lean, fit. Eye Color: Silver Hair Color: Purple Age: 415 Notable Scars, Marks, etc: None. Tattoos/Piercings: Claw tattoos on her face. First Appearances: She always appears very well put together, always has a notebook and her camera.

Personality: The Consul (ESFJ-A). Consuls are altruists, and they take seriously their responsibility to help and to do the right thing. Consuls love to be of service, enjoying any role that allows them to participate in a meaningful way, so long as they know that they are valued and appreciated. Consul personalities respect hierarchy, and do their best to position themselves with some authority, at home and at work, which allows them to keep things clear, stable and organized for everyone.

Can Currently Be Found In: Stormwind, occasionally on her travels for photography reasons can be found anywhere in Azeroth

OOC INFORMATION:

What I’m Looking For: Character progression as well as story/plot progression. Friendships or hateships are good! Pre-established relationships are okay, just chat with me first. Fandom: World of Warcraft. Sole Faction or Cross-Faction: Sole Faction. Faction I Play: Alliance. Server: Wyrmrest Accord Venues I Actively Roleplay In:  Discord, Tumblr, and in game Favorite Type of RP: Friendship, Adventure, Small Social Circles Triggers: I do not condone any sexual harm to a minor. Period. Things I Will Not RP: Ultra-taboo, degradation, explicit content with minors. RP Strong Points: I am usually good about giving you something to play off of, whether it be a question or action. I typically write paragraphs but I don’t care if you do or not. I don’t usually put a lot of filler words in. RP Weak Points: I get anxious when more than three people sometimes. I can sometimes slow down an RP because I’m typing a response. I feel I am horrible with rapid fire RP.  What To Expect:  A very calm disposition, friendly, quiet most of the time. Where I RP: Prefer in-game or discord depending on the availability/content. Will do tumblr as well.

Shadowlands:  Risri is not IC in the Shadowlands and has not been there. Dragonflight:  Risri might be found in the Isles, especially around the Green Dragonflight areas.

RP HOOKS:

A Moment in Time: Risri owns a little photography studio on the canal side of the Trade District in Stormwind. Visitors would find photographs she has taken at events and around the worlds on the walls up for display or purchase (mostly landscapes for purchase).  She also does photo shoots in her studio (think family portrait).  She can be hired to take photos for events (she had done several weddings) or even for special reasons.  This is the perfect venue to meet Risri whether you’re just browsing or coming in to schedule something in particular.

Cenarion Circle: Risri is a member of the Cenarion Circle. Anyone who is a member could know Risri or know of her. She became a druid with the circle about 100 years ago. Druid things are always welcome whether its teaching or just chatting about events.

Other ideas:  Risri once ran @the-royal-courier​  many people know of her from those days, its okay to be one of them without chatting to me first. She often wanders taking photos out in the city, maybe she snapped one of you - its perfectly fine to question or even be angry that she did so, or even ask for a copy!

Art credit: 1st: @BBergolts on twitter, 2nd: @MischiArt on twitter, 3rd: @thedawnsart​

#Risri #its only slightly updated

[duplicitywrites]

Hi Duplicity! I’m asking you this with no intention to cause offence, and because you’re a creator in this fandom I like a lot, but how do you balance your content with JKR Rowling’s views ? I keep seeing people say that we should all stop consuming and producing Harry Potter content, because despite the intention, or Hc-ing it to suit our views, any engagement with the source material is bringing it to attention, and thus bring her and her hateful views against Trans people to attention, furthering her platform by ensuring her works remain in the collective mind of many people instead of letting it die out and somehow contributing to her legacy. I know you’re very very supportive of LGBTQ+ folks and seem like a very kind person, and I’m not insinuating at all you support JKR herself, but how do you deal with that implication and the unintentional effects your fanfics may have ? Just because it is somewhat true that fandom fuels popularity that fuels profit and yada yada. Please don’t take this the wrong way! Thank you and bless you for your writing ❤️

no offense taken! i hope you'll take my response the same way 💗

to be blunt, i think people who say that we should cease any engagement with the source material are wrong. the equation of content consumption with someone's personal morals is reductive and ultimately harmful.

this (often literal) armchair activism disrespects and disregards the very real efforts people make on a day to day basis -- whether that be through volunteer work, charitable donations, or simply serving as support to friends/family who are a part of those very minority groups that those naysayers claim to advocate for.

jkr is extremely vocal about her garbage opinions -- why are people not directing their ire at her instead of the random strangers they encounter on the internet? well, strangers on the internet are easier targets. it's easier to get a response. it's easier to ostracize and bully someone who doesn't have the security and following that a public figure like jkr has.

it's concerning to me how the concept of "doing the right thing" has shifted more and more towards "attacking the 'wrong' people". who is the target in these situations? is it actually a transphobic person who is being criticized, or is it someone who just likes harry potter? because in most situations i've seen, it's the latter. moral policing in fandom spaces has only gotten worse as the internet slowly morphs into one homogeneous corporate blob, and this is just another example of it taken too far.

harassing someone for liking harry potter doesn't miraculously make them a good person -- it doesn't make them morally superior. it just makes them someone who likes to attack others to feel better about themselves, someone who often looks for 'acceptable' excuses to do so. i'm secure enough in myself that i don't let this bother me, and i certainly don't accept anyone who thinks this way as a 'better' person than me.

i know i am not responsible for the opinions and actions of my readers. it is insanity to claim my writing harry potter fanfiction is making transphobes be transphobic, just as it is equally ridiculous to claim that writing about murder will turn people into murderers.

personally, i believe the best step is to not financially support harry potter as a franchise. this means not paying for official merch/content. but that's my own business -- i won't judge, insult, or attack the people who do, and that's because it would be hypocritical to hold anyone to this standard.

what about disney? what about walmart, or amazon, or any other company that profits off of the misery of minorities and the disadvantaged? people will say there is no ethical consumption under capitalism, but that is just another black-and-white approach to an incredibly nuanced topic.

the world we live in is flawed, with "problematic" humans involved at every level of society. there is no clear answer for every situation, so at the end of the day, i can't and won't tell you what to do or what to think, other than encourage you to make these decisions for yourself.

as individuals, the best thing we can do is take responsibility for ourselves. think critically about the actions we take and the impact these actions have on others. live the best life we can under the circumstances we've been given.

(much better than dunking on someone for putting their hogwarts house in their social media bio.)

#asks #anonymous