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urfavstargirl1 · 2 years

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The Empress, Part X

A/n: Here's a May the 4th gift for y'all. Thanks for your patience in this last chapter and support for this series. This series is what brought me to writing fanfic in the first place and I can't believe where it's taken me since. I'm so grateful for everyone reading and enjoying what I have to write. Without further ado, I present the last chapter in The Empress series, I hope you enjoy.

AO3 Link

Kylo Ren x Female Reader

Words: 10,700

Chapters: 10/10

Chapter Summary: Kylo and Y/n attend the Emporer's Ball where they introduce themselves as a couple. What will happen when the empire learns of The Supreme Leader and his soon to be Empress?

Story Summary: As Kylo Ren steps into power as Supreme Leader, he struggles to use his power to effectively lead the Empire. Y/N is a renowned Commander eagerly working her way up the ranks. Her loyalty to the Empire is tested when the Supreme Leader suddenly takes an interest in her. When one date becomes several and she is ultimately tasked with becoming Empress and wife of the Supreme Leader, will Y/N be able to handle that kind of power outside the commander’s uniform?

CW: angst, swearing, romance, kissing, making out, fluff, implied sex

“Is it too late to back out now?” I lock my eyes with him through the mirror.

“Technically, no.”

I look over my shoulder to Kylo. I gasp when the lady’s maid tightens the final strings to the corset of my dress. I turn my attention back to my reflection. Waves of bright crimson fabric, chosen by Kylo, consume my gaze. When I look at my face, I hardly recognize myself. Instead of my usual slicked backed uniform bun or light makeup, my hair is done in thickly coiled waves and glamorous makeup sculpted to perfection. My ears and neck are adorned with glittering diamonds.

“You look beautiful, my love,” Kylo murmurs from behind and heat rises to my cheeks. He wraps his arms around my waist and lightly presses a kiss to my ear before whispering, “It’s time.”

I take a deep breath, feeling the air as it fills my lungs. I turn around and feel the dense yards of fabric in my skirt swoosh with the movement.

I reach out and take his hands in mine. We look at our hands then into each other's eyes.

“Are you ready?”

“I think so.” I nod

“You have nothing to fear.”

“Easy for you to say.” I roll my eyes.

“Y/n,” he scolds.

“I know. I know… I want to be positive, but the anticipation of how people will react to us is killing me.”

“I anticipate that the news will rile everyone up a bit at first, but with time, they will see what I see: a beautiful and magnificent woman who will be a stellar empress.”

I smile and look down bashfully. I don’t think Kylo knows the effects his words have on me. Even though they are simple words that can easily be overlooked if his actions do not correspond with them, he often speaks truthfully. And with every word he speaks, it feeds my spirit and caresses my soul.

“Whatever happens Kylo, please know that I truly do love you with all my heart and soul.”

“Y/n, we are not marching off to our deaths,” he teases.

“You may not be, for this is the path that has been paved before you. But for me, this is a moment in which I am forging a new path… You must know how treacherous that is.”

He nods with empathy and squeezes my hands. He brings them up to his lips and presses a soft kiss to each.

“I love you to the ends of the universe,” he replies and my heart flutters.

“Why do people say I love you to the moon and back. The moon isn’t even that far. It’s actually the closest thing to us in our solar system so it’s actually like saying I love you to the end of the hall and back. Really people should be saying I love you to the ends of the galaxy and back because that’s much bigger.”

“But there are millions of galaxies in this universe. Would that not too constitute a lackluster definition of expansive love.”

“Yeah, I guess so. Then perhaps to the ends of the universe and back. The universe is infinite and even then constantly expanding, so it would be much more poetic to say your love is infinite and ever increasing like the bounds of the universe.” He presses a soft kiss to my lips and pulls away.

“I cannot promise you that this will be easy, but I can promise you that you will not be alone,” he assures and I know he’s not just talking about himself.

“Balia, Karmir, I have something really important to tell you guys. It’s possibly the biggest news I could ever have to tell you, but I hope it doesn’t change the way you guys see me at all.”

“You’re pregnant,” Balia gasps.

“No, I’m not pregnant.”

“But you and Kylo finally did it right,” Karmir squeals.

“Well, okay yes, but that’s not what I’m talking about right now.”

“Ooh!” Balia and Karmir sequel in unison.

“How was it?”

“Tell us everything!”

“Well, I’m-I mean it was… It was really really good,” I blush and they squeal. “Like, I was definitely seeing stars.” I smile bashfully, secretly giddy over my friends’ reaction.

“But seriously that is not what I wanted to tell you guys. I meant to tell you that… that Kylo asked me to marry him.”

“And what did you say?”

“Please tell me you said yes!”

I said yes,” I squeal and raise my left hand. My friends shriek and we all wave our hands back and forth.

“Y/n congratulations!”

“We’re so happy for you!”

“But that’s not all. I said yes which means we’re going to get married but it also means… I’m going to become the Empress… The Empress of the First Order.”

“What? That’s incredible!”

“Holy shit, the royal pain in our butt is finally getting the crown she deserves!”

“Seriously Y/n, we’re so happy for you. You’re going to be the best empress ever” Balia says and we all lean in for a group hug.

He’s right. I’m not alone. No matter what happens, as long as I have him and I have my friends, I have all I need.

Kylo outstretches his arm and offers his hand to me. I link my arm with his and smile up at him with confidence. He returns an equally elated smile.

As he leads me out into the corridor and we make our way to the main entrance, I think about all the moments that have led me to this one. All the soldiers and missions and memories splay out one by one. It’s weird how far away those moments seem now. And even now, as I stand here clothed in the finest fabrics and jewels of the galaxy, it almost feels like a dream.

“You ready,” he asks.

We’ve reached the top of the grand staircase. Most soldiers enter the emperor's ball through the various other entry points but entering through the grand staircase is a ceremony reserved for the highest ranking officials: the generals and Supreme Leader.

The Supreme Leader's entrance is last but definitely not least. Especially when, for the first time, Kylo is accompanied by a special guest.

Our position at the top of the staircase is visually blocked by the ceiling of the floor beneath us.

As I stand, hand in hand with my soon to be husband, I imagine what the crowd must look like below. If I wasn’t so anxious, I would laugh at how absurd the notion is. I can't see them and they can't see us. We are both left in gripling anticipation.

“You know, you could still back out if you wanted to,” Kylo says in simultaneous jest and earnestness while squeezing my hand.

“Ladies and gentlemen, it is with great pleasure that the First Order announces the arrival of the Supreme Leader of the First Order, Kylo Ren, and his guest of honor.”

“Too late,” I whisper, “Looks like you’re stuck with me.” He snickers.

“Attending with Sir Ren is his fiancee, soon to be Empress of the First Order,” gasps fills my ears, “and former vice admiral of the First Order’s Armed Forces…” at this part the announcer pauses and a wave of silence crashes across the room.

Kylo takes his first step forward and I follow suit. In an almost slow motion, the announcer says my name, “Y/n Y/l/n.”

I would remain frozen if it weren’t for Kylo’s grip on my hand leading me down the stairs.

As we slowly, almost painstakingly, descend down the steps, the vision of the crowd comes into view. It is customary that when the Supreme Leader is presented that the audience responds with applause, but tonight is different.

At the sight of me, hand in hand with Kylo, members of the crowd gasp or are too in shock to do or say anything. I scan the crowd, trying to locate anyone I might know but there are too many people, all the faces become a blur. My face grows hot and I put on a nervous smile and tighten my grip on Kylo's hand.

When we reach the bottom of the steps, we pause for a moment. Kylo remains regally stoic and stares straight ahead, as if ready for battle. I scan the faces directly in front of me, many of which have eyes widened and dropped jaws. I look back up to Kylo again and he smiles down at me and nods approvingly. I smile at the faces before me, some of whom soften their own expressions in response. I continue to smile while subtly fidgeting with the fabric of my dress as Kylo lets his subjects bask in the sight of their new Empress.

After a few moments, we’re escorted to the high ranking officials table: a long rectangular table placed on a stage at the front of the ballroom to allow for the Supreme Leader and his generals to be within view of all attendees.

The room is filled with dozens of round tables, many of which we weave through to get to our designated spot. For years, I used to sit at these tables, but it didn’t hit me till just now that I wouldn’t continue sitting at one tonight, or ever again for that matter. They’re not that comfortable anyway, but they were all I’ve ever known.

Once the Supreme Leader, the generals, their guests, and I have been seated, the rest of the attendees carry on being seated. When realization of the events that have just transpired set in, whispers fill the room and heat floods my body. The people at my table begin conversing, but I don’t pay attention. Instead I try to overhear what the people below are saying, but none of it is discernible.

Once all are seated, the dinner portion of the evening ensues. After the small talk and peasantries subside, all eyes and questions are directed at me. Who am I? Where did I come from? How did I meet Kylo? How do I feel about getting married and becoming empress?

Once our first course arrives, I’m spared by the delicious plate of food. As the courses continue, the meals are lovely and dinner goes by smoothly enough. General Hux and Ameen are present at my table and their familiar faces are enough to put me at ease. Conversation passes easily thanks to Ameen and a few other generals.

I’m meeting them all for the first time, but they’ve all known each other for so long that their chemistry is electric and conversation flies back and forth too quickly to leave me any room to participate. I’m grateful, in a way, to be spared, but it also leaves me with enough awareness to sense the attention on me from other attendees.

Between courses, I glance over at the round tables. Surely Locke and Neela will be in attendance along with the other members of my former unit, but I can't seem to locate them. I’ve left the shore and am now in uncharted waters.

“Are you okay,” Kylo whispers to me while two of the other generals have taken the lead in the table conversation. He places a hand on my thigh and squeezes it. I place my hand under his and interlock our fingers.

“Yep. Just admiring the beautiful decorations,” I say, a half truth, with a squeeze of his hand.

Once the servers begin clearing the tables, the announcer stands at a podium by the table and begins speaking into the microphone.

“Ladies and gentlemen, if I may have your attention please.” All clicks and clatters of dishware and chattering voices fade to a silence.

“It is customary that we commence the dancing portion of the ball, a tradition in which we introduce our honored members of the First Order military by rank. This year's ball will begin with a special dance between the Supreme Leader and his guest of honor. In subsequent songs, members of subsequent ranks will be allowed to join the floor.”

I look at Kylo with widened eyes and he only closes his own eyes and nods.

“Did you know this was happening?” I hiss at him.

“No.” He responds coolly.

“But they always start with generals! You’ve never had to dance at one of these before.”

“That’s because I never had anyone to dance with at one of these before.”

“For the first dance of the evening, The First Order proudly presents the Supreme Leader, Kylo Ren, and his guest of honor, Y/n Y/l/n,” the announcer blares into the microphone.

I look at Kylo and he’s already standing. His hand stretches out for me to grab. I turn to look at the crowd. Hundreds of pairs of eyes are on me and I gulp. It’s like I’m not even in my own body anymore and I’m watching from some weird outer perspective.

“Y/n,” Kylo calls out, “C'mon,” he says with a tilt of his head in the direction of the dance floor.

I shakily rise from my seat and grab onto his hand for relief. I grip it tightly as I slowly and robotically follow him onto the dance floor. I can’t shake the feeling of so many people watching me. It feels like my corset is even tighter and my dress is getting perpetually damp under my arms with every step I take.

We stop in the center of the dancefloor and a spotlight shines directly above us. I look at him like a deer in headlights. He places his right hand on my waist and raises his left hand. My body is frozen.

“Put your left hand on my shoulder,” he gently directs. I hesitantly do so and interlock my other hand with his. For a moment, all I can see is him. The light up above illuminates his face so brightly it drowns out everything around us. Despite my current state of disarray, seeing him like this is enough to anchor me in a sea of eyes and anxious thoughts.

Then, the music starts to play, and Kylo gently begins to lead my body along with his. He’s a natural. Our dance is formal yet he glides our moving bodies across the floor like water. In a moment like this, I’d never admit it to him, but it’s nice to have someone else take control.

“This can’t be the same former commander who danced with a stranger in a foreign tavern just to spite me,” he smirks and I glare at him.

“That’s different and you know it. And besides, I wasn’t in a room full of hundreds of people, all of whom I knew and/or needed to impress.”

“Who says you need to impress anybody?”

“Well, look around. I’m going to be their empress soon and I want to be worthy of that title.”

“What makes you think you’re not worthy already?”

“Well…” I stumble, failing to find a reason why.

“Y/n, everything you are is already worthy enough to be empress. There’s nothing you need to prove to anyone here, including me.”

I furrow my brows. He’s right, but why is this surprising to me? In a way, I always felt like I had something to prove and sought to prove myself to others, but I just didn’t think it was so apparent to others just how much I vie for their validation. I can’t think of a time when I wasn’t this way, and even now, I don’t know how else to be.

“It’s just… I don’t take any of this lightly Kylo and I guess it’s important to me that they see that.”

“They will, Y/n, with time. You and I both know you will be the most stellar empress the First Order has ever seen, but that sort of thing doesn’t just happen overnight. To be the kind of leader I know you want to be, it will take some time to build people’s trust, but it doesn’t mean you weren’t worthy at any step along the way. When someone is truly worthy, it is impossible not to see it.”

I nod as I process his words. There’s something else that would take a lot for me to actually admit to him, and it’s that he’s right. And he’s not just right because he knows this, he’s right because he’s lived this.

“Are you okay,” he interrupts my thoughts.

I smile and lower my eyelids as heat rises to my cheeks.

“Yeah, I’m just thinking. I guess I ought to thank you for the pep talk, coach.”

“Y/n,” he chuckles and rolls his eyes.

“I’m kidding,” I say and close the gap between us by pressing my cheek to his chest. I close my eyes as we continue to sway to the music. He caresses my hair for a moment until I pull away and look up at him.

“I love you Kylo. Your support means the world to me. In fact, you’ve had such an impact on me that I can’t imagine what my life would be like without you and I don’t even want to''

“I share the exact same sentiment. But I must say, even if I wasn’t the Supreme Leader and I was just Kylo Ren, I would still choose you. You would still be the person that completes me,” he responds and dips his head low enough to press his lips onto mine. It’s a slow full bodied kiss, one that holds me in a trance till the sound of applause breaks me from it.

I break apart from the kiss and look from left to right. I’m grateful Kylo is holding me or else I’m sure my knees would have given out from underneath me. Dozens of people are clapping and few have even risen from their chairs to holler and whistle. I squeal and instantly press my forehead into Kylo’s broad chest to hide the raging blush spreading like wildfire across my neck and cheeks. His body vibrates with laughter and as he strokes my hair, he kisses the top of my head.

“How are you not freaked out by this?” I hiss.

“Well, for one, I guess I’m used to the attention. And two… well, it fills me with pride to have the empire see me embrace the woman I love, who will rule alongside me.” I beam up at him. I look back at the crowd around us and try to imagine how we must look from their perspective. I look back up at him and the unease in the pit of my stomach slowly evaporates and forms a new wave of gratification.

Soon enough, the song fades into a new one and I see Hux and the rest of the generals joining us. As each song passes, the next one gets faster and as more people join the dancefloor things rapidly evolve into a high energy almost mosh pit like mass of dancing attendees. When things get too crowded, Kylo excuses himself for something to drink and I continue to dance with some of the members of my former unit I ran into.

Questions and comments like “Wow, I can’t believe you’re with the Supreme Leader!”, “To be honest, a lot of us didn’t ever think he would find someone to be his empress, but now that he has, we’re really glad it’s you.”, “Just promise us you won’t become scary like the Supreme Leader.”, and “How did that even happen, Y/n?” are thrown at me from every which direction. It surprised me at first, but became exciting getting to explain my relationship with Kylo and all the things I love about him.

“Y/n, I knew it!” I turn around and am greeted by that familiar warm brown skin and dazzling brown eyes.

“Neela,” I exclaim as we hug.

“I totally called you and the Supreme Leader. Everyone thought I was crazy for it, but I know what I saw. The love you two have for each other was undeniable then and it's just as undeniable now.”

“You really did Neela. I’m sorry I couldn’t have told you earlier. Things were still kind of early then and we had a lot of things to figure out before we could put our relationship on full public display you know?”

“Yeah of course, I understand! He’s not just an average guy so you have to be extra careful with every step you take.”

“Yes, that's exactly how it feels! Are you dating the supreme leader too?” I joke and she awkwardly laughs.

“No, but something similar happened to my older sister. She lives in the Seeset galaxy and we come from a common family but she married into royalty on our home planet so traversing that relationship was a big deal and took a toll on the family and the people of our planet for a bit but eventually people got used to it and things settled down and now they’re happier than ever and even expecting their second child soon.”

Woah who said anything about kids just yet.

“Oh wow, yeah that’s a lot like what I’m going through, so far at least. It’s really insightful to hear that so thank you Neela. You know, before any of this stuff happened, I always saw you as the little sister I never had, mainly in a work capacity, but as of late, I feel that in a personal way. You’re really something special and if you ever need anything, you can always count on me.”

“I feel the same way, well except you as an older sister. But thank you, that means so much to me. And if there’s ever anything I can do for you, just say the word. My loyalty is not lost on the soon to be Empress. You know a lot of us were never really rooting for the Supreme Leader, but we were always rooting for you. But your connection with him makes us wonder if maybe we had him figured out all wrong. Or maybe you’re just what The First Order and what the Supreme Leader needed.”

“I-I that’s the most heartwarming thing I’ve heard all night. You have no idea how worried I was about announcing our relationship and how others would receive it. I know it’s shocking, in fact the beginning of our relationship was just me being shocked by everything that happened, but Kylo was the one I fell in love with and is my soulmate and life partner. I never expected it to happen, it just did. But I'm glad that people are warming up to the idea of us.”

“Yeah a lot of people were pretty shocked at first. It was the talk of the dinner, but I think seeing you two together and interacting it's obvious how much you love and complement each other.”

“Wow, thanks, I really needed to hear that.”

“Yeah I wouldn’t stress it too much. You’re going to do really well as Empress. We’re all really excited for you.”

“Thanks Neela. Thanks for everything.” We hug and I hold on for another second, on the brink of tears trying to hold back.

“I have to go to the restroom, but I’m really glad I saw you tonight and that we could have this talk.”

“Of course. I’ll be seeing you around your majesty,” she responds with a bow and my eyes widen. I instantly make a beeline toward the bathroom and miraculously its empty. I take a moment to compose myself and breathe deeply. The adrenaline and anxiety of wondering how people would respond to Kylo and I is wearing off now that I know we’re being received with excitement and hope. But, there’s only one last person to face.

I take a few more breaths and exit the bathroom with purpose. I scan the tables in front of me and don’t recognize any of the faces. I do the same with the dance floor and have no luck. I make my way to the refreshment table and decide to at least take a breather and get something to drink. Before I can even take my first sip, I’m interrupted.

“Y/n, there you are. I’ve been looking all over for you,” Kylo comes up from behind me.

“Hey baby, what’s up,” I ask and take a refreshing sip.

“There’s a few people I want you to meet,” he replies with a devilishly handsome smile.

“Should I be scared,” I tease.

“With me, never. C’mon,” he holds out his arm for me. I interlock my arm and follow his guide.

Turns out, the few people he wanted me to meet weren’t close friends or close professional acquaintances but whole dignitaries and ambassadors from various planets across the First Order. I greet each with incredible humility and reservation, an attempt to prevent me from embarrassing either one of us while Kylo converses with each as though they have been friends for years. His demeanor is confident and radiant and I can’t help but think that if this was the side of Kylo that was the default for First Order soldiers, then people wouldn’t be so afraid of him. I guess it's all an act to save face and appear to be what an authority figure should be like. But if everyone got to see what I’m seeing now, then I think the leadership dynamic of the First Order would be quite different.

This goes on for almost an hour until I’ve shaken hands with about a thousand, realistically twenty, people.

“We hope you enjoy your stay on Starkiller base and appreciate your attendance for tonight's event,” Kylo says to what I’m hoping is the last new person I’ll talk to forever.

“Kylo, I don’t know how you do it. I’m utterly exhausted now.”

“It’s all part of the job I guess,” he charmingly shrugs and places a kiss on my cheek.

“But you did great, my empress,” my heart flutters as he pulls me in for an embrace and kisses the top of my head. “Everyone absolutely adores you.”

“I’m glad I could be of service,” I say with a dry laugh.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I think I’m just going to go outside for some fresh air. I’m glad I could meet all those people and I’m even more glad I was able to make a great first impression, but that really took a lot out of me, so I think I’m just gonna go recover my energy for a bit.”

“Do you want me to go with you?”

“No, it’s okay. I know there’s some other people you still need to mingle with. I’ll just be out for a little while.”

“Okay, well remember the award ceremony will start soon so be sure to come back in by then.”

“Sure thing,” I say and give him a quick kiss.

I feel him watching me as I walk to the other side of the ballroom and pass through the open door to the outdoor courtyard. The garden has been manicured to perfection and the luscious fragrance of their flowers fills my nostrils. The scent is utterly delicious and intoxicating. I make my way toward a railing that overlooks the stars.

I take a few deep breaths and admire the clusters of stars before me. Their bright light entrances me and I feel hypnotized by their varying shapes, colors, and patterns. This space warms my heart and brings simultaneous feelings of strangeness yet fondness when I realize it is yet another part of the empire I will soon come to reign over.

But, it reminds me of the first date I had with Kylo. I guess our first dinner together could be called a date right? Stars it was so awkward but who knew it would be the beginning of all this, of something so grand and beautiful?

But that night, I remember a moment where I was doing something similar to what I’m doing now, but with Kylo. And I had told him that it was a beautiful empire he ruled over. Little did I know that one day the beautiful empire he ruled over would be a beautiful empire I could rule over too.

“Y/n,” a voice asks from behind me.

I whip my head around and see a pair of blue eyes beneath furrowed eyebrows and a head of golden hair.

“Locke,” I whisper.

“What are you doing out here? Why are you alone?”

“I, um, the ball was getting a bit overwhelming for me so I needed a bit of a breather.”

“Oh,” he replies, his tone indicating that that wasn’t what he was expecting me to say.

He takes a few steps over and joins me at the railing.

“How are you enjoying the ball,” I ask casually, hoping to preserve some semblance of normalcy.

He cocks his head and scowls before wiping the look on his face and replacing it with a subtle discomfort.

“Um, I… it’s definitely different from any of the balls of previous years,” he says, choosing his words carefully. I nod in acknowledgement but am unsure how to respond to the statement.

“Yes, it has been quite different.” I respond and then an awkward silence fills the space between us. Perhaps I should have said something else. But what should I say? How do I acknowledge this without creating any sort of–

“You know when rumor started going around that for the first time in First Order history Kylo Ren would be bringing a guest of honor to the ball, I couldn’t really believe it. I honestly thought it was just petty gossip or someone’s morbid idea of a joke,” he explains in a neutral tone.

“But when Neela brought up the ball and asked if you would be going with anyone and you said you were, I was almost doubly surprised. I didn’t believe it because I thought you were incapable of it like Kylo, but because it seemed out of character. I mean, you hadn’t brought a guest to the ball in a while and you never mentioned anyone in your life that could be significant enough to bring to an event like this. You said you would surprise us, so I just figured it was some new boyfriend or girlfriend or whatever, but not… not this… not him…” he chokes.

I open my mouth to say something but nothing comes out. My silence leaves so much left unsaid that Locke continues speaking.

“This was one hell of a surprise Y/n. I guess I can’t say that I didn’t completely see this coming, but I just can’t believe you would hide this from us. Neela and I made comments about the Supreme Leader left and right and you never said anything, and then you suddenly just drop this gigantic bomb on us that not only are you seeing the Supreme Leader but you’re going to marry him and you’re going to become his empress? That’s fucking bullshit,” he raises his voice and throws his arms up. I lean closer against the railing and observe him pace around.

“Now what? You have nothing to say?”

“I wasn’t sure if you were finished,” I say in a much smaller voice than I’d intended. He looks at me with annoyance.

“I wanted to tell you, I just didn’t know how. And honestly, I was afraid of how you would react. And this,” I move my hand in a circle motion in his direction, “lets me know that I made the right decision in not telling you till now.”

“How did it happen?” He taps his finger to his jaw and looks down with a concentrated facial expression.

“You and Kylo Ren, how did it happen?”

I’m a bit taken aback by his question and the way he worded it.

“It-it just did.”

“No it didn’t y/n and you know it. Things like this don’t just happen.”

I take a deep breath and contemplate my next words. I mean I really don’t owe Locke an explanation but I still feel compelled to. He still means something to me so I think maybe I do owe him that much, but I also owe it to myself to be firm and confident no matter what.

“Okay, maybe it didn’t just happen, but it felt that way. Up until the things with the Planet Korr missions started happening, I never paid much attention to the Supreme Leader outside of duty hours. But one day, he expressed an interest in me and I was curious to find out more about him. And then our work started to bring us closer together and as we spent more time with one another, our feelings started to grow.”

“You expect me to believe that?”

“Yes Locke, because that’s what happened.”

“C’mon Y/n, you can fool everyone out there, but you can’t fool me.”

“I’m not trying to fool you or anyone for that matter! I’m telling the truth.”

“Then why don’t I believe you?”

“I don’t know why you don’t believe me. It probably has something to do with you more than it does with me. I know that I’m telling the truth and if you can’t believe that then I know there’s nothing more I can do or say to change your mind.”

“Just answer me this one question.”

“Okay.”

“Why him?”

“Yeah, why Kylo Ren? Why the Supreme Leader? Of all the people in the galaxy to be with, you choose him?”

“Well it wasn’t really like I chose to love him.”

“Seriously Y/n, you know what I’m saying! Why did it have to be him? What could he possibly have to offer you besides a title?”

I gasp. It’s so deep I almost choke.

“Locke, are you serious? Do you truly think so low of me?”

A scowl drapes his features but then his cheeks turn bright red and his shoulders sag a bit.

“If you must know, I did not decide to marry the Supreme Leader, I chose to marry Kylo Ren because that’s who I want to be with. And I would do it again, regardless of his rank. Despite his anger and other flaws, he is a good man with a pure and honest heart.”

Locke glares at me.

“I know you only get to see the daunting afflicted side of the Supreme Leader, but there’s a side to him that is charming and caring and loyal. I know it might be hard to believe and, for a while, I could barely believe it myself, but it’s there. I hope to share that side of him with the people of the First Order because that is the side of him I fell in love with.”

“Still, I really don’t know what you see in him.”

“It doesn’t matter if you don’t. All that matters is that I do.”

“But you could do so much better.”

“Like who? Like you?”

He smacks his teeth in disgust.

“No. It’s not like that, I promise. Maybe in the past it might’ve been, but it isn’t anymore. In fact, there’s someone else I’ve got my eye on… who I’ve had my eye on for a while…” He turns and looks to the floor to ceiling window dividing us from the rest of the party. On the other side of the glass is a petite and slender girl with bright blonde hair wrapped in an ornate bun and clad in a baby blue ball gown.

“Camryn?” I ask and he nods with a faint blush. She’s a commander from a neighboring unit that was assigned by General Hux to our most recent Planet Korr Mission.

“You know, I thought the two of you worked well together. I hadn’t imagined that would translate outside of duty hours as well.”

“Yeah. I had seen her around but hadn’t really worked with her directly prior to the mission but once there we had to spend a lot of time together and one thing led to another…” he trails off and I give him a knowing look. A look of concentration appears on his features. Movement in the corner of my eye catches my attention and I see Kylo appear on the other side of the glass, next to Camryn. He raises his eyebrows at me, as if to ask if everything is okay. I press my lips together and nod with a slight shrug.

“Look, Y/n, any sort of inappropriate feeling I might have had for you at one point is long gone. Now, I see you as a sister, like a member of my work family. And I just worry about you. I’m concerned about you.”

“I appreciate your concern and know that I only hope the best for you. I hope you can understand that there are people who choose to conduct themselves much differently in public than they do in private. Kylo and I are both those types of people. So it may not make sense on the outside, but on the inside, he’s the perfect match for me in every possible way. I apologize for blindsighting you or anything like that because it was not my intention. But I just ask that you try to understand the circumstances I was in that led me to choose that option. To pursue things with Kylo was the most difficult thing I have ever done in my entire life, but I would do it again in a heartbeat,” I say and look over to where Kylo is still standing. He looks at me proudly and gives a small encouraging nod and it makes my heart swell. I turn to see Locke witnessing our interaction and the look of realization spreads across his features.

“I see.”

“I hope one day, you can experience the happiness I am experiencing with Kylo. Whether it be with Camryn or whomever your true love may be.” I offer an encouraging smile.

“Thanks,” he says solemnly yet thankfully.

“Perhaps we should go inside. Don’t want to keep them waiting all night long,” I say and nod my head in the direction of our significant others.

We shuffle back into the venue and approach Kylo and Camryn. Kylo, all dark and twisted and beautiful, stands a good foot taller than Camryn, light and glistening like a diamond and the sight of such contrast alone makes me stifle a laugh.

“Hi Camryn”

“Hello, ma’am, er, madame. I’m not sure what I should call you.”

“It’s okay. I’m not sure what you should call me either but I’d be much more comfortable if you called me Y/n.”

“Okay… Y/n.” She blushes bashfully and interlocks her arm with Locke’s.

“Kylo, you know Locke right,” I ask knowing full well they do but realizing this is the first time they are being acquainted in a personal facet.

“Locke, it’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance,” Kylo says with an outstretched hand.

“The pleasure is all mine sir.”

“Call me Kylo.”

“Uh… really?”

“No not really,” Kylo teases but it goes over Locke’s head and the look of shock on his face makes me laugh.

“I’m teasing, of course. You may call me by my first name if you so wish, as long as it’s outside duty hours.”

“Yes, sir.” Locke replies blankly and even Camryn giggles.

“Oh and Kylo, this is Camryn. She’s one of our finest up and coming commanders who attended our most recent mission to Planet Korr. And she’s also attending tonight's ball with Locke,” I introduce.

“It is an honor, sir,” she sheepishly says with a bow.

“The honor is all mine. And I thank you both for your service. It does not go unnoticed,” Kylo graciously responds and Locke looks like he might pass out at any moment.

It humors me but almost makes me smile to think of how mundane this moment is yet how far we’ve come to even reach it all.

“Locke and I were just outside… catching up on things… It’s been far too long, hasn’t it,” I say and look to Locke.

“Look Y/n, there’s something I think I should warn you about and Sir, this concerns you too,” Locke starts and looks up at Kylo. I want to laugh at how obviously afraid he is of referring to Kylo by his own name, but his tone worries me.

“What is it?”

“Well, we’ve been talking to some of the other attendees at the ball. A lot of the ones from our unit have been excited about the news of your potential union and possibly becoming empress, but everyone else… well, they don’t really share that same excitement.”

I jerk my head back, surprised at his words, especially considering what Neela told me, but I guess her’s was only one side of the story.

“What is everyone else saying?” I can’t help but ask.

“Everyone’s just really confused. Everyone’s saying that it feels like this all came out of nowhere. They don’t understand because the Supreme Leader had never taken an interest in anyone and then all of a sudden one of the First Order’s own soldiers ended up with him. I think it also doesn’t help that they don’t really know you either since they haven’t really worked with you like everyone in our unit has.”

“Well it’s none of their business,” Kylo growls, breath quickening. I place my hand on his bicep and shake my head.

“But it is. We are their leaders. Their curiosity is warranted,” I reply and we all remain breathless for a moment.

“So is that all? Is that what everyone’s been talking about?”

“Well, there is one more thing…”

“Okay.”

“I don’t think you’re going to like it very much.”

“It doesn’t matter how I feel. We need to know the truth in order to determine our course of action.”

“Because everyone’s really confused and you and the Supreme Leader, a lot of people have been trying to come up with explanations of their own. So far, the leading theory is that … this union is your doing, Y/n. That it was your plan all along to marry him… because it would be closer to the throne than even the highest rank in the military.”

I let out a breath as though I’ve been punched in the stomach. My knees start to wobble and I place my hand on Kylo’s forearm with an iron grip.

“Y/n,” Kylo calls out and brings my body closer to him for stability. Every inch of my body tenses up.

“It’s fine. I’m fine” I whimper and my voice sounds even louder because the music has cut out.

“Ladies and gentlemen, if I may have your attention please,” the announcer blares into the microphone. “We know you’ve all been dancing the night away, but if you would please return to your seats. The coveted annual award ceremony for the First Order military will commence shortly.” And like that, the lights come on and bodies start shuffling.

“We need to go and say something,” Kylo directs and tries to get me to move but I’m still frozen.

“No.”

“No?” Kylo and Locke ask in unison.

“No, at least not right now. We should let the award ceremony carry on as usual. I don’t want to ruin the night any more than we already have. After the award ceremony, we can make a grand speech and address the people. But not right now. This moment right now is about honoring members of the First Order military and their service.”

“Are you sure,” Kylo asks with the deepest wells of concern in his eyes. I nod and press my body against his. He holds me tightly against him and presses a kiss to my temple.

“C’mon, let’s not ruin all the fun,” I try to say with cheer.

“Wait Locke,” I say as he starts turning around to walk with Camryn to their table.

“Thank you,” I say while hugging him.

“What for?”

“For being a good friend,” I pull away and look into his eyes. They’re filled with a bit of remorse but mostly appreciation.

“I should be the one thanking you. You’ve helped me out in unimaginable ways. I truly do hope for nothing but the best for you and Kylo,” he shudders saying Kylo’s name and I laugh.

“It’s an acquired taste. You’ll get used to it.”

“I’m not counting on it,” he teases. “Enjoy the rest of your night,” he says earnestly.

“Thanks. You too,” I respond and head back to my table with Kylo.

I try to keep my composure, meanwhile, all I can do is think about what I could possibly do or say to improve the situation.

Once we’re seated, the announcer commences the award ceremony. Kylo and the rest of the general are called to the stage to stand alongside the awards table. Kylo passes out each medal or plaque to a recipient and that recipient shakes the hand of the Supreme Leader and follows down the line to shake the hands of the remaining generals.

As the announcer calls upon the names of various soldiers for various different awards and accolades I recognize a few from my unit and learn new names and faces for the rest. I try my best to pay attention and clap after every name is called, because as the soon to be Empress I should be involved in things like this. But then my thoughts linger and I wonder what it is I might say when I address the people.

By the end of the award ceremony there is one final award to be given and my anxiety heightens in anticipation of making my speech soon after.

“Ladies and gentlemen, to end the night on a high note, we have our last and final award. This award is the most prestigious award given throughout the entire First Order military. Each year a panel of committee members composed of a representative general from each unit of the First Order military joins together to select an honorary recipient of the Medal of Honor and Valor. And while the Supreme Leader has a hand in selecting and approving all other award recipients, he has no involvement in the selection of the recipient for the Medal of Honor and Valor.

This award is one of the highest honors one can receive. The person chosen for this award has demonstrated an exceptional dedication to the First Order. This year the Medal of Honor and Valor goes to someone who has shown exceptional strength, bravery, intellect, and compassion towards their fellow soldiers, units, and overall First Order realm. The recipient of the award has shown outstanding calculus in her initiative to conduct peace and cooperation throughout the Empire. This person has been honored by her subordinates, peers, and mentors for her conduct and innovation in the acquisition of new territory to the First Order-,” the announcer says and instantly my stomach sinks to my toes.

“This year’s Medal of Honor and Valor goes to none other than… Y/n Y/l/n!” The announcer declares and half the room cheers while the other half remains too stunned to do anything.

I’m frozen in my chair until the announcer says, “Y/n Y/l/n, will you please come to the stage.” I leap out of my seat and cautiously walk over to the stage, tunneling my vision on Kylo. I stop in place in front of him and laboriously try to catch my breath.

“Congratulations Y/n,” he smiles warmly at me. Oh stars I could just kiss him for saying that. My thoughts are all over the place but after Kylo’s congratulations they all seem to center on him. Part of me feels so gratified to hear him say those words and to see the pride in his eyes, but another part of me feels like none of this is real or that it shouldn’t be happening.

He places the medal between his hands and raises the ribbon above my head to place it over me, but before he does, I reflexively step a step back. I look up at him with widened eyes and furrowed eyebrows. He lowers his hands and takes a step forward, his eyes filled with concern.

“Y/n, what is the matter?”

“I don’t think I can accept this award.” I squeak while shaking my head.

“What?”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because… I don’t… deserve it.”

“Nonsense! Of course you deserve this” He declares. I don’t say anything but I can’t help thinking that it still doesn’t feel that way. It must show on my face, because Kylo puts the medal back on the table and grabs my hands in his.

“There’s no one I know more deserving of this award than you. Your diligence and merit speak for themselves.”

“But still, it doesn’t feel right. I mean, I am very grateful to have been deemed worthy enough to receive this award, but somehow, actually receiving it feels wrong.”

“Why does it feel wrong?”

“Because…” I start and turn around to look at everyone in the crowd either looking at me or whispering to one another.

“Y/n, you’re worried about them?”

I look down and nod. He takes a deep breath and sighs. I look up at him and his eyes scan the crowd. His shoulders visibly tense and reflexively, I place my hands atop them. They soften and he places his hands along my waist.

“In my heart, you are the most deserving person in the galaxy of this award. It shouldn’t matter what they think, but if it matters to you and you truly to not wish to receive it, then I will stand by you.”

“Thank you” I nod shallowly and hug him tightly. When we pull apart, he looks down at me with restraint in his features.

“So what would you like to do now?”

“I think I would like to address the crowd. Maybe explain things and just properly introduce myself. Properly reintroduce ourselves as a couple.”

“Okay. Is there anything you want me to do?”

“I just need you by my side. And if I can’t find the right words, I need you to…”

“Already done,” he smiles at me. He cups my cheek in his hand and kisses my forehead. I close my eyes and sigh. I open them and walk to the podium. I can hear Kylo’s footsteps behind me and murmured whispers erupt throughout the crowd. The announcer covers the microphone with his hand and looks at me expectantly.

“Would it be alright if I said a few words?” I ask.

“Yes, of course Madame,” he responds and shuffles away.

I take a step in front of the podium and place my hands along either side of the smooth cherry wood. I take a deep breath in and let a deep breath out. Kylo grabs the hand closest to him and interlocks our fingers. I look up at him and he mouths “I love you”. I mouth it back and then look at the crowd head on. I clear my throat and without realizing the mic would pick up the sound, I’m surprised to hear the murmurs cut off by my sound and hundreds of eyes all on me.

“Um, hello everyone. My name is Y/n Y/l/n. I was nominated for the Medal of Honor and Valor award, but for various reasons I will not be accepting it.” The crowd gasps and several “what” and “huh”s spread across the crowd.

“Um, I think there’s been, um, an elephant in the room this evening, and I would like to address it. Tonight many of you have learned of me only a few hours ago and you learned of me in an unexpected way. Many of you only know me as the soon to be wife and empress of the Supreme Leader, Kylo Ren. I take a lot of pride in this aspect of my identity, but it is rather new to me still. Before I met Kylo Ren, I was just a soldier in the First Order military. I’ve been a member of the seventh unit–” A few members of my old unit holler and I nervously laugh.

“I’ve been a member of the seventh unit for several years. I cared very much for my unit and we were a bit like a family, always looking out for each other. For some time, much of my life has been devoted to the First Order. Late night guard duties and early morning cleaning duties, training, or weeks away on mission made up much of adult life.

But I did feel a particular devotion to the First Order that I recognized was stronger than most. As soon as I entered, I knew that one day, I would want to work my way up to a position of General of the First Order military. I went out of my way to seek mentors and projects and other opportunities that might help me advance in my career. It always felt natural to me and was something I did on my own will, but I know that’s not particularly common for all the personnel I worked with.

Up until recently, I was a commander, a title which I was quite proud of but also recognized the responsibility that came with it. I took that role quite seriously, and one day, that role led me to Kylo Ren. Up until my position as commander, I hadn’t thought much else of him beyond the terrifying man under the mask who had my entire professional fate lying in the palm of his hands. I seldom interacted with him and only regarded him as the Supreme Leader of the First Order.

But somehow, my ambition caught his attention and…” I look over to Kylo who is already looking at me. He reads my facial features and leans closer to the mic.

“I knew my life wouldn’t be complete unless she was in it,” Kylo adds and the crowd elicits gasps and “aw”s. We shuffle so that we both split the center of the mic.

“My journey has been remarkably similar to Y/n’s. Except I think I may be only speaking for myself when I say, my ambition took me far, but it took me there alone. When I became Supreme Leader, the highest high of my life, I realized I had no one to share it with. For many years, I thought I could suffice without, but the need to share my life with someone grew stronger to the point where I could not ignore it. And even if I could, I reached a certain point in my career where the obligation to find someone to take the place of my empress fell greatly on my shoulders.

For a length of time, my search was quite unfruitful. And for a while, I was beginning to lose hope. But one day, miraculously, Y/n entered the picture. I hadn’t even met her properly, but I knew. I knew then just as I know now that she would be the one for me.” He smiles down at me. I blush and continue my side of the story.

“But when we did actually meet, I had no idea what would be in store. I thought I was just a commander consulting the Supreme Leader on the course of action for a rebel invaded planet that if approached with caution could easily be cooperated in First Order territory. But then he approached me, as Kylo Ren. And a part of me, the part of me that exists when I am not in uniform, was intrigued. As we got to know each other personally and were brought together by the work we were doing for the First Order, we became close, a little too close for my liking... I tried to fight it, but love isn’t meant to be resisted.” I turn my head to the side to look up at Kylo.

“There were many moments when I felt we were ready to take things to the next level, but then Y/n would have hesitations. We were able to overcome them as they arose, but when it all culminated in my desire to marry her, we reached a severe stalemate.” Kylo looks down at me.

“I was prepared to marry Kylo Ren, without hesitation, but the Supreme Leader? That was another story. I spent a lot of my time with Kylo and for the first time in my life, fell deeply and truly in love. I had worked with the Supreme Leader and even though we worked well together, I feared how our union would appear to others. For one, I tend to keep my personal life quite private, so telling others something as significant as this was sure to cause uproar. And two, knowing my ambition, it made a little too much sense for me to end up with someone in a position of such prestige that I felt a sense of guilt and a great deal of pressure in deciding to marry someone so powerful.

I want to make it abundantly clear that it was never his power that attracted me to the Supreme Leader, Kylo Ren or even made me want to marry him in the first place. It was his compassion, bravery, intelligence, and strength that drew me to him and made me fall for him… that continues to make me fall for him.” I look up at Kylo and he nods at me reassuringly, as if to say, “You’ve got this”.

“I did not take the decision to marry him lightly. In fact, it might have been the most difficult decision I have ever made in my entire life. But, I would make the same decision all over again if given the chance. And with that said, I feel it is my duty to let everyone in this room know that I take my role as the soon to be empress of the Supreme Leader extremely seriously. And as such, I will do everything in my power to serve the First Order to the best of my ability. I’ve done so during my time in the First Order military and am fully prepared to continue doing so, regardless of title.”

I take a moment to catch my breath and recover from all that I’ve just said. And right when I think about what I should say next, someone in the crowd claps. It’s Neela. Someone else starts clapping and then they rise from their seats. It’s Locke. Camryn pops up next to him and joins in the applause. And in the blink of an eye, multiple people follow suit till the whole room has risen from their seats and clap their hands… for me? I look to my left to see even the Generals join in the applause.

I blush and look up at Kylo. I’m simultaneously confused and excited.

“It’s all for you my dear empress,” Kylo coos and rubs his hand along my lower back. He hooks his fingers along the crook of my waist and pulls me closer so that my side is pressed against his.

I can’t believe all these people are clapping for me. I knew if we explained things, then people would understand, but this? I wasn’t prepared for this. I was prepared for everything to crash and burn. I was prepared to have to fight for my life.

I can feel Kylo’s body squirm from beside me and I look at him. He’s looking in the direction of the generals so I turn my head and see Hux moving toward us with the Medal of Honor and Valor in his hands. Hux outstretches the medal, offering it to Kylo but he shakes his head and says, “Hold onto it”. As the applause dies down, Kylo begins to speak into the mic again.

“Ladies and gentlemen, thank you again for your unwavering support and attendance at tonight's ball. We still have one last award to hand out. Despite her resistance, the recipient of this award has done more for the First Order than has been asked of her. Because of her, the First Order has been successful in removing the rebel base off of Planet Korr. And as of today, First Order bases have been installed on Planets Korr, Myr and over ⅔ of the remaining solar system, all of which would not have been possible without her. She has paved the way for the First Order and while her time as a formal member of the First Order military has come to a close, she will continue to serve as the best and brightest empress the First Order has ever seen. Y/n Y/l/n, will you please accept the award of the Medal of Honor and Valor?”

I look at Kylo and lock eyes for a moment, then turn to look at Hux. Hux holds the medal up and keeps it there till I lock eyes and nod my head. He graciously places the medal over my head and drapes it along my collarbones. I shake his hand and proceed to shake the hands of the rest of the generals. When I come back to the podium I look to Kylo, wondering if I’ll shake his hand too. He outstretches his hand and I shake it as a formality, what every other recipient of the night has done, but then he does something he didn’t do for any other recipient and cups my face with his hands and kisses me deeply.

I pull away, my breath taken away, but when I look at the crowd, many people cheer and whistle. I was not prepared for this either, but I can’t say I mind it.

“Thank you again for attending this year’s Emporer’s Ball. We look forward to seeing you this time next year. Have a good night and please return home safely.” Kylo announces into the microphone. I must be paralyzed because I'm not moving but everyone around me is. People start leaving their tables and moving towards the entrances. Waitstaff begin clearing up the tables. The generals scramble to find their guests and leave.

“C’mon let’s go,” Kylo says and grabs my hand. He starts walking and it takes a second for my legs to catch up.

“Where are we going?” He leads me out of the ballroom and through a hidden corridor.

“We’re going home, my little star.” His brisk walking turns into jogging.

“Kylo, what are you doing,” I ask breathlessly.

“I’m taking you to my quarters. Now. I need to get you out of that dress and take you with nothing but that medal on,” he declares.

“Kylo,” I squeal and giggle breathlessly.

“I’m dead serious kid, I need you. Now.”

When we get to the door to his quarters, he picks me up bridal style and kicks the door open. The space is dark as we enter, but Kylo knows where he’s going. We enter a room and he lays me down on a large bed with the softest sheets in the entire galaxy. I look to my right and see a giant window in place of a wall. Across from the bed is a dark colored dresser. This feels a little familiar.

In front of me, Kylo stands before the bed removing various articles of his clothing. Then he removes my heels off each of my feet. Okay, things are starting to feel different. He snakes his hands along the skin of my legs, pushing the fabric of my dress upward. He moves his head downward to rest beneath the yards of fabric gathered at my hips.

“Hm, so beautiful,” he hums.

I extend my arm and fun my fingers through his hair. He kisses my skin then peers up into my eyes.

“Anything my empress wants, my empress gets, okay?”

“Oh yeah, it’s like that?”

“You know I got it like that.” He winks.”I love you Y/n”

“I love you too Kylo.”

I fawn for a bit, and feel giddy at what the emperor has in store for me.

———————————————

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