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blue-n-yellow · 2 years

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stranger things spoilers (+like… non serious ‘ableists die’ comments, and discussion of su1c1de, and eugen1cs (censored for tumblr, jic))

manifesting death for everyone who says that they hope max dies so she doesn’t have to live as a disabled person. as someone who’s disabled due to a traumatic incident, 100%, max loosing her sight/potentially loosing limb mobility is a tragic thing, and will be very very very hard on max should she wake up. but like… saying that a girl who had been struggling with suicidal thoughts and was now finally wanting to live again would be happier dead than blind is fucked up.

honestly shit like that feels like it’s approaching eugenics with the whole “well personally i’d rather be dead than be disabled, and i think that being disabled is a curse which people should be freed from via death” vibe. again, suddenly being blinded/having any such change is an extremely upsetting experience, but if you think max would be better off dead so she wouldn’t be disabled, id rlly recommend taking a look at your views and checking for internalized ableism. (cuz some people genuinely don’t see an issue with this view! and that’s okay, i’m just saying…. check in with yourself, ask why you have that opinion. also, if you just straight up think life as a disabled person is worse than being Dead and unable to do Anything, maybe die then <3)

Edit:

exactly!!!!! let max be disabled, let her be supported, let her have people in her life who care about her and are there for her!!! let her continue to have her passions and her personality- give her people in her life who will support her and help her continue to do what makes her happy, who will help make her interests more accessible. dustin’s smart as shit, let him work with max on her mobility aids. give lumax their movie date, let them fucking. rent a movie from blockbuster and have mike and will work to make it accessible, so max can learn what’s happening in real time and enjoy the movie with lucas. let el read comics to max like how max showed her comics back in season 3- let elmax continue to be close and show one another new things.

let there be change, change that takes the form of accessibility and accommodation, not max being miserable because there’s just 0 point to living now. let her be loved and supported by people in her life who care about helping max, but let her continue to be happy just to be alive, because being disabled =/= being miserable

#stranger things #max mayfield #i can’t decide what tone to take with this but like. i get it? it’s just #sudden loss of mobility is scary!!! it was a traumatic experience for me and. from what i’ve seen its traumatic for the overwhelming #majority of people who experience it!#but like…. saying you’d rather die than be disabled #and expressing that you pity people who are disabled and view their life as like…. honestly im gonna go ahead and say vast worthless #*as worthless #is….. just a yikes view. loss of mobility is scary #but disabled life is just as enriching and enjoyable #even without the able bodied experience #<-tags are from before i edited this post with the addition!

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roo-bastmoon · 1 year

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"so in that kumbaya post u just openly admit ur a fat ugly single abused people pleasing jkker? not suprised. u all r. id kms if i were u."

Hmm.

Okay.

Quite a bit to unpack, there.

To answer your question: Yes, I'm a bit overweight right now--it's part the hormone blockers for the cancer and part my own emotional eating the last few months because, ya know, it's a bit stressful battling cancer. I plan to get back into working out after Yoongi's concert, though! And I'm not hideous, but I'm definitely not gorgeous. You're right, I'm single, have been for years, by choice. I do tend to people please a LOT (working on boundaries with a really sassy wonderful cognitive behavioral therapist--10/10, highly recommend CBT!). And I absolutely love and adore Jikook, for sure, as well as all of BTS.

So... guilty as charged.

But no, my "flaws" aren't a reason to DIE. I still have value, dear throw-away-account-in-my-inbox.

Despite my many shortcomings, I still have purpose. I still get pleasure. I can still do amazing things in the world and create some meaning in this life. All people are works in progress. Me, too. Who told you you had to always be exceptional to ever be worthy?

I'm not perfect. But I can try to be good.

In case you need a reminder, here's what "good" looks like:

I hope you heal from whatever wounds others gave you to make you calloused and aggressive toward total strangers.

I hope when you read this that you unclench your jaw and relax your shoulders, because you are safe and sheltered and you know there's no immediate threat.

I hope you can afford a nourishing meal and a long hot shower with amazing-smelling soap to restore some of your energy, which must be flagging, since you're spending it on Asks like this.

I hope you get a great night's sleep in a comfy bed, and wake up feeling refreshed and ready to face whatever challenges are a part of your days. Because I'm certain you have challenges just like everyone else.

I hope you have someone you trust, who you can talk to, who will listen to every word intently, and try to empathize and understand you and give you good counsel.

I hope at the end of your day, when all the work and chores are done, you get to read a really engrossing story, or listen to a thought-provoking podcast, or check out some amazing music that makes you feel alive and excited to be so.

I hope you remember yourself--your true self--the kind of person who can be kind.

Because the universe returns your energy back to you. I promise you, eventually, it does.

So here's some kindness from a random overweight absolutely flawed single Jikook fan on Tumblr, who genuinely wants you to be healthy and whole as soon as possible. We all will be better off when you start to heal.

Now, to get us both back into a place of calm and gratitude, you inspired me to make a donation to NAMI. If you ever need mental health help (and who doesn't?) they have some great free resources that you can check out HERE. Please never seriously consider killing yourself, or even joking about it, for any reason. Every day, every moment, is a new chance to start from scratch and make your life into something you prefer.

And if you're not open to talking to a therapist right now, there's a free app called Insight Timer with tons of great meditations, calming exercises, insightful podcasts, and mood-resetting music.

So, this is as much of my time and energy as I can give to you. I wouldn't have even answered you, except the K-pop community just suffered a loss from suicide this week and I felt it important to address what you said. But now I've got some streaming and voting to do in between my real-life responsibilities. So this is the last we will interact under your sock puppet account. But I hope you see this post, and I hope you know I really mean it. I really mean that you deserve to heal from this toxic anger you're taking out on others. I know you can be better.

"Who says a dream must be something grand?

Just become anybody.

We deserve a life.

Whatever, big or small, you are you after all."

--Paradise, Love Yourself: Tear, BTS

For everyone else, if I keep getting Asks from sock puppets like this, I'll turn off the option to message me unless we follow each other. I already turned off anons ages ago because of these types of messages. I will limit access to me, not as a punishment, but just because it's important to protect my (and my friends') energy against negativity. I am here for BTS, not drama.

This fandom needs to work harder to reflect BTS' values, or else what are we all doing here?? You don't have to agree with anyone about anything, but you do have to at least be civil.

If you're looking for a fight, you won't get it from me. My tongue is ruled by the law of kindness.

With sincerest respect,

Roo

P.S. Jimin and Yoongi are close to record-breaking milestones. Please don't waste any time or energy on this sort of thing--keep streaming!

#Spotify

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cyb3rspyd3r · 7 months

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Since everyone addressin their problems with rashad ..

a lil while ago i had an issue with another writer , it wasn't a big problem but someone found a way to fuel the damn fire..

um its obvious who the fuel was .. at first i thought he was tryna help me because at the moment he was one of the only people who were tryna actually help me in the situation.

this was the last message i had from him before ppl got on his ass about the stuff he was causing , he also pretended to be me in the other writer's anons.. which didn't click to me that it was him at first , until i just saw the other writer's post about the situation and now it all make sense to me.. i see him causin problems to evb now and im js thinkin like um.. damn.. cs it is no fuckin reason damn near the whole miles writers block should be on yo ass rn..ts is insane 😭

and honestly the whole thing abt him "usin his mental issues as an excuse" made me squint at my screen bc like .. ohhh okayy...

back to the situation with him pretending to be me , the other writer added it all up and it makes sense to me now , only her , me , and rashad wouldve been the only ones to know abt her not accepting my apology , and the anon just happened to know abt it .. and ik the writer wasnt that dumb to js go in her own anons so it left rashad as the only person.. i don't even ask ppl stuff as an anon , i make it very known who i am

so i'm honestly pissed at that nigga rn bc i was genuinely stressed , and u js tried to make the situation fucking worse? nigga wtf mental issues gotta do with fueling a disagreement? like dpmo bruh .. bc ur mad weird for that , i trusted you , defended you , and hella other shit and ur the anon the whole time..

u got urself known by all these writers js to end up like this.. u got ya self into this.. don't even act like ppl targeting u or wtv bc u made urself the target..

and at first i didnt believe @averagegirlie when they said it was him pretending to be me , but now ts make sense , we had an argument or wtv but i appreciate you for that 💗

this whole situation just pissed me off .. bc u caused a big ass eruption in the damn miles writers group and then try to blame other shit on it .. tbh u js attention seeking , if u needa talk abt ur mental issues , problems or whatever the fuck u got goin on id recommend doing it to a person in private or going in your notes??? something that WONT cause shit?..

yall have a good day tho.. tagging ppl who have had some problems too with him (lmk if i missed anybody..)

@hiimayee @ashsostrange @tainted-liquor @breeandhermunches (MB IF U DONT WANT ME TAGGIN U BREE JS LMK)

#manitalkss #ts is dumb #cmon now #js pissed me off #anyways ..#sigh

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liquidstar · 8 months

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Ok so, I have only ever watched one episode of Adventure Time, and it was on a hotel room TV, in terrible hindi dub, and I barely remember it on account of being 10(?) but it horrified me.

I remember the MCs trying to get Ice King a girlfriend or something, but he keeps being a gross asshole so they take him to a lake and point at some swans to try and explain love to him. They point to two swans kissing like ':D' and he's like 'ewww' and then the male swan suCKS IN AND EATS THE FEMALE and IK's like ':)))' while the boys stare in horror.

IDR how the episode ended or how much I watched, but I remember thinking 'wow american cartoons are hardcore. I'm sticking to pirated pokemon from now on.'

And you are telling me that show had lesbians in it leter????

oh my god im so sorry but imagining you watching that swan scene as a 10 year old is so fucking funny, i can understand why you stuck with pirated pokemon LOL

adventure time is absolutely very fucked up in a lot of different ways. the early seasons leaned into that type of absurd shit you just described a lot more especially. while the later ones actually started getting more existential and building on the worlds lore.

there wasnt exactly a focused plot, per say. i mean, there was, but it wasnt something methodical and planned out, it was played by ear. and i think it really worked. the way they did it turned out a really cool magic system (based on the idea that reality is just collective perception, and magic users are aware of this and can manipulate perception ergo reality. but the more cosmic knowledge you have the more insane or depressed you become etc especially if youre mortal), and also cool world building (it takes place in a post apocalypse after a nuclear war, now far into the future the face of the earth has completely changed but the horrors unleashed still impact it today), and also a lot of really amazing themes (the world is always changing and nothing is ever permanent, but no matter how things change things also stay the same, in a different way. especially where bonds and love are concerned. everything stays.)

and YEAH there are lesbians (i mean i always hc marcy as bi but still). and they also come from the shows improvisational nature. theres a lot of genuinely really amazing relationships and plotpoints born out of that to me. like, as the show starts to get a lot more thematically dense later on it can seem like a weird shift. some ppl say it got pretentious over time bc its not as goofy (its still pretty goofy lol), but i think it worked... like... perfectly.

because its a coming of age story where the main character actually ages, it actually feels so right that the world around him begins to seem different too. it makes sense that when he was 12 we were doing stupid goofy adventures, when he was 15 we were watching him deal with a lot of really fucked up trauma, and when he was 17 we watched him learn to grow as a person who thinks beyond simple terms of good and evil.

i know im tottaaallly rambling at this point but theres really an insane amount to talk about with adventure time. the timeline alone is ridiculous. but mostly i think my passion comes down to the fact that i was also growing up with the story, always around the same age as the mc going through similar stuff... even now, the story is focusing on a depressed 20-something trying to find whimsy in her life again. and technically the last episode timeline-wise is about accepting death lol

so like idk how exactly id recommend it to a new viewer, its really possible that a lot of ppl wont be able to really tolerate the early seasons as adults (i mean, i think theyre charming, but i have nostalgia goggles lol). that being said i think that its a series totally worth a shot for everyone... eventually. if it sounds interesting you just gotta accept the goofiness at first and trust that youre in for something wild in a totally different way later on. and totally unique and cool and special in a way nothing else has really been able to capture for me since.

TL;DR: no yeah the show was incredibly fucked up and that swan did eat that other swan. but it does have themes and also lesbians.

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arromantica-lucha · 8 months

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i got a lot of thoughts about loveless by alice oseman and if this post seems very one sided well thats just how it read to me. my opinion isnt the end-all and i value how everyone interpreted and was affected by this book. this isnt a closed topic lets talk about it

gripes with loveless by alice oseman

took a while to actually explain that ace and aro are two separate identities and still not that well. it makes aro seem like a subset of ace which is entirely false. its cool there was an aroallo character involved but still

the book title 'loveless' is a real term and identity and the entirety of the book kinda shits on it by enforcing the ideal that its still okay to be aspec cause platonic love can be experienced and any type of love is required or at least better than "not feeling anything and being alone forever"

it was weird for her friends to forgive her over gestures that had nothing to do with apologizing before georgia actually apologized and explained but that may just be more of a personal thing that i didnt like. likewise the story being about platonic love it kinda sucks her deepest connection is with her roommate and not the people shes known for years and wronged

kinda sex negative. i mean rooney says she doesnt dislike casual sex but then that whole thing becomes the reason she hates herself and a reason to cope with being "unloveable" and its kinda lame. you can tell that story without making it seem like casual sex is just a means of devaluing yourself. and you can be sex repulsed and still not do that. it just feels unfair to aroallo people especially who are told they are monsters for enjoying and only wanting casual sex when this book is supposed to be about aromanticism too

(can we also be done with harry potter references??? lets stop hurting trans and jewish people thanks)

basically particular identities' stories shouldnt come at the expense of others and other ways of life. its great and important to write different experiences because no one is gonna relate to them all but no one has to replace romantic love with ANY type of love to feel good about themselves and be human. loveless and aplatonic people shouldnt have to read something that uses rhetoric against their identities within a book about aspec people

things i like about loveless

i didnt relate to it personally but the experiences felt very genuine. internalized aphobia, being hounded by aphobic comments, finding it hard to portray love even in a fictional or artistic sense, etc.

I appreciate the references to race and intersectionality that come with being queer even if they were minimal. so few times is it actually acknowledged that there is privilege when it comes to being understood, coming out, being accepted, etc. the references to that were nice to see because too often intersectionality being brought up is brushed off and blatantly ignored or people pretend like they understand

it was written by someone who is aroace even if there are some things that can be less isolating within the aspec community with the language being used. someone being open about their identities and how they choose to define them in the mainstream world is how we get more peoples voices in there

it has helped people discover their own identity though id still recommend further research on the actual identities being named and ones not named. these stories are the first introduction of aspec identities in mainstream and that hopefully means itll start to expand to other identities within that community that have not yet had representation

this should be the start of developing more rep. the first takes are not gonna represent everyone and its a good thing it exists to tell a few peoples story. but that doesnt mean it should be free from any criticism because thats how we make them continuously better. i hope to see an aroallo character soon. i want the term loveless to be properly used in media and expressed for what it is. i want to stop pretending like ace is the umbrella term for all aspec identities. i want amatonormativity explained as the sociological term it is that harms all life not just aromantic and polyamorous people. i want a polyam aspec character and polyam characters in general. i want disabled and ethnic aspec characters where the intersectionality is just as important to the narrative. i want a whole lot more and to stop prentending like any of that should be unreasonable

#loveless #alice oseman #osemanverse #aromantic #arospec #aspec #aroace #aroallo #loveless aromantic #loveless aro #queer #lgbtqia #made this sideblog specifically for this post

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shigayokagayama · 1 month

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maybe a weird question, but do you have any recommendations for non-mob psycho media? I’ve been in search of something that hits similarly/is as well made and I trust your judgement o wise one. I’m not super picky, so recs of any kind would be appreciated :)

im like the worst person to take media recommendations from because you have to tie me down to watch something new and then i get obsessed with it forever, in terms of things ive seen recently that hit the same tumblr is NOT lying dungeon meshi is really good and if you start watching now you're gonna be watching at the part where it starts getting crazy

other stuff ive been into (gets progressively less mob psycho and generally more depressing like the further down we go bc i tend to get into really, really sad shit):

-i <3 deltarune but everyone has already played that. deltarune good. if you havent played deltarune play deltarune. genuinely like it more than undertale. also if the last chapter of deltarune is just the confession arc i called it and deserve a million dollars

-same w spiderverse. listen usually i dont care about superhero stuff but god these movies are good and i really hope they stick the landing.

-everything everywhere all at once continues to be one of my favorite movies ever

-rainworld (video game, very difficult but skurry's playthroughs do a good job summarizing the plot and general vibe of each route if you wanna watch those. i watched my friend play survivor ages ago and ive been playing through survivor with a friend on multiplayer and decided to watch some playthroughs to get a feel for the map and GOD DAMN the story of this game. rivulet route almost made me cry.) fair warning this is animal death the video game.

-severance (live action tv show, general plot is some sort of dystopian future where they invent a surgery where you can seperate your work self from your normal self so you clock into work and then black out until your shift is over. except your work self is just stuck at work forever. only 9 episodes but very, VERY good)

-i actually really enjoyed the scott pilgrim comics and the anime i wish anyone ever could be normal about them. id definitely suggest comics (if you can handle the 2000s humor) then anime. also basically everyone knows this but fair warning that starting out the main character is in his early 20s dating a 17 year old, it is explicitly treated as a shitty thing by the narrative and theres nothing explicit and its made very clear that he has 0 feelings for her whatsoever and is just using her as an ego boost but if youre sensitive to that stuff i might skip this one

-lots of webcomics about animals. i read so many webcomics about animals its like. my main media intake. this is part of the reason that i dont understand complaints about the art style my favorite webcomic looks like this

its called doe of deadwood and ill think about it until the day i die. others im currently reading (since this one wrapped a while ago) are "what lurks beneath" (cat cult on an island) "waves always crash" (cat cult on the beach) "i didnt know" (cat cult in a barn), toufati sawa (hyena trying to avenge her clan) and africa (leopard trying to survive the harshening world with her cubs) warning for animal death with all of these and general abuse warning for all those cat cult ones bc. cults.

-i like warrior cats. do not read warrior cats. its not very good and youll get stuck here forever.

-pathologic but the actual game and not just people describing the game please watch someone play the actual game summaries skip so much of the meat of the story and the characters. or play the game if you can bear learning to strategically quicksave. fair warning there is a lot of racism depicted against indigenous people in these games and while the framing of it generally aires on the side of "racism bad" there are a lot of kinda shitty tropes that come with it.

-listen bojack horseman is one of my shows it is the polar opposite of mob psycho in like every way and i would never in a million years recommend it if you want something that hits like mob psycho but if we're asking for just things i enjoy this is one of them. heavy cw for drug usage and abuse with this one. might want to give "does the dog die" a look for this one bc people are not joking about how heavy this show is

-same with hospice. hospice is a concept album about a hospice worker and a patient and has had more of an influence on me than any other piece of media ever bc i found it at the exact perfect time in my life for it to be relevant to my circumstances and now its like part of my identity. heavy cw for abuse also

-speaking of concept albums hey have you listened to tyler the creator he has several. WOLF especially i really like because the plot is actually like. kinda intricate. he also says the f slur a lot in WOLF but hes bisexual so diversity win?

-succession good. tw for like. everything though. probably "does the dog die" this one.

-hey have you ever watched david lynch's 1972 film "eraserhead"

#me and my friends tor and mich read the entire manga in 2 call sessions #i put everything else under a readmore #i feel like the more you know about my interests you can look at anything i write and go #hey. hey i see you.

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mindstormpress · 3 months

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Illusory Sensorium ran a game of Barkeep and their writeup is one of the clearest signs that the hard work we put in was worth it.

Here's the recap. I genuinely was laughing out loud a few times. Highly recommend: https://illusorysensorium.com/b1-wand-of-embiggening/

If you want to delve into the design theory of Barkeep, keep reading! ⬇️

When we were working on the book, we came up with a sort of mantra for the encounters: Is it sticky? Is it toyetic? Do the NPCs have means, motive, and opportunity? Is there information, choice, and impact?

That's a lot of jargon, and it's been synthesized from across multiple sources. Prismatic Wasteland summed it all up here:

Sticky means that the encounter isn't something the characters can avoid. It sticks to them.

Toyetic came from false machine as well, but also from a post now lost to time from Rebecca Chenier. Basically—will the players and GM want to pick up and play with the encounter?

MMO is just a way to conceptualize NPCs in a simple, understandable form.

ICI is from Bastionland. We can't make informed decisions without information, and there's no point to making decisions if our choices don't matter.

Building the encounters meant looking at each of them carefully and considering those foundational elements. Not EVERY encounter needed every single thing. In fact, with the way WFS wanted to write the book, each encounter had to be relatively short and packing a punch.

A really really sticky encounter didn't need to be as toyetic, and a really fun and interesting encounter that the players would NEED to investigate didn't need to be all that sticky. Everything is a gear of a different size that turns the whole engine.

Illusory Sensorium thinks that they ran the game "wrong" and I disagree. They used the tools provided by the book and had fun! Mission Accomplished!

But one thing they point out very early on is how they "trusted" the encounters in the book as written. The very first one they got is quite simple: 54 skeletons in a conga line, labeled like playing cards.

Incredibly toyetic, not sticky. But the players immediately joined in!

They could have moved on, but that situation was too tantalizing to skip. The rest of the game unfolded from that first encounter, and was filled with shenanigans. The work we put in—hand crafted encounters—worked out!

I'm incredibly proud of the work everyone on the team put into Barkeep, from the writers, artists, and fellow editors. I'm especially proud that people are playing the adventure and having fun. People playing the stuff you've worked on and made is the best feeling as a creator.

Thanks for reading. There's a lot of links in this thread, because I love tracing the history of things. It's no surprise that blogs are the home for so many of these ideas—word of mouth and common practice are easily lost forever when not documented!

The bloggies, a celebration of rpg blogs, are happening now! I've got a post in the running, and I'd love it if you voted for it. My competition is FIERCE (and I recommend all the nominated posts as reading material!)

Vote for RANSACKING THE ROOM today!

#indie ttrpg #ttrpg #gming #rpg #blog #roleplaying #tabletop rpgs #ttrpg community #ttrpg theory #rpg theory #adventure design #adventure

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honeyhotteoks · 3 months

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Now where do I find the words to describe chapter 14. I don’t think such words exist as nothing can encapsulate the way this wrecked me- but in the best way possible.

The way you didn't just revolve it around y/ns trauma but the reaction and emotions of the other characters makes it so much more realistic and enticing as a reader. I’m so glad they’re finally communicating, while I definitely prefer angst, breaking it up with such sweet and fluffy scenes allows the angst to be of much greater calibre as we have grown to love the characters and relationships as well as empathise with them which makes it all the more painful. Y/N having ‘relapses’ per say, of the attack is so reminiscent of what too many of us go through in real life, and im glad to see that portrayed in a fictional sense rather than her simply moving on with ease and it was genuinely written so well.

And thank you so much for touching on the taboo of therapy. My parents never allowed me to have it even when I very clearly needed it and now I feel ashamed of wanting to reach out as a result of that, so its comforting to see my favourite fictional characters be able to discuss that so nonchalantly.

I never in my life believed id be able to read over 14k words in one sitting but here we are thanks to your beautiful mind. As always I’m left so hungry for more and can’t wait to see the next portion of the story unravel.

- 👻 anon

oh 👻 thank you so much this was too kind of you to say.

while we are moving on to a much happier part of this fic (and quite honestly getting close to the end....) she still has things to work through and that's going to come up again. her working through the idea of a claim, her neck being touched, and also just the idea of sharing herself so fully with the boys and giving them control (even when she knows they're safe) is all going to be dealt with between the fun smut and happy times.

the other thing that's also coming is some more miscommunication because yes, they're working at it, but it's not like two conversations magically cures them all of their personalities or human nature lol

that being said, we're definitely on the path to a HEA ending for everyone, and i'm excited to show that unfolding over the next two to three chapters while it wraps up.

also, just as a therapy aside, i'm sorry that your parents made that difficult. i had a similar experience, my mom very much ties the idea of therapy to "being crazy" which is such an old school and unhelpful mentality. now as an adult i've been able to get so much more out of mental health services, and i really recommend embracing them when it's safe to do so 💗

#answered anon #👻 anon #tnt ask

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frances-baby-houseman · 8 months

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Here are some things to say about my time in Santa Fe:

Highs:

Taking a vacation in adulthood with your friends! This was a weird group for me and I was a little anxious about it heading in, but it ended up being a blast. The other 6 women were all friends in college, and while I went to the same school as them, I knew them vaguely but wasn't friends with any of them. Then one of them became my closest friend after school, and I got to know most of the other women over the years thanks to her. But I wouldn't say I was close to the group as a whole so I was a little pleasantly surprised to be included. It ended up being great, obviously-- everyone is so cool and smart and I am so so happy we made it happen. It's hard to coordinate 7 grown women!

Meow Wolf! This is super fun and trippy and we spent like 2 hours wandering around and banging on things and going through portals in dryers and refrigerators and generally having a blast.

Hiking Sun Mountain! We did a real hike! I now want to take a hiking-forward vacation! I found it harder to come down than to go up bc I have kinda bad knees but good cardiovascular, but I think most of the group found it easier to go down. We almost all slipped and fell on the gravelly path coming down.

Going for a run! I always like to run on vacation but I was nervous bc of the altitude. It wasn't my FASTEST run but it was fine and beautiful!

The Indian Art Fair! OMG the art was so so so gorgeous. And art in Santa Fe in general!

Green chili sauce not christmas. I didn't like the red as much!

The Georgia O'Keeffe museum! I was really moved by her life and this was a small but mighty and very well-done collection.

Getting free hotel breakfast! There was supposed to be a pool but it wasn't finished in time so one of the women negotiated free daily breakfast at the hotel restaurant and omg it was it delicious. It was so luxurious to have a huge leisurely breakfast every day. With green chili sauce!

The sangre de christo, the blood of christ mountains of New Mexico (if you can read that without singing it, you have a different life than I do)

Shopping in general! I saw a cute store that had little print dresses in it and I went it and half of us ended up buying matching dresses. Shopping with friends is so fun and the people in the shops there are so so so nice.

Again, the indian art fair. It was just the most beautiful art and jewelry and all of the artists were so happy to talk about their process and let you try things on and tell you their family history. It just felt really beautiful and generous.

Visiting a friend's ranch! Two of the women went to hs together and their friend owns a giant ranch outside of santa fe where we went for drinks and omg the views were just so incredible. Also his partner is from Santa Fe and he was telling us that his family has been there for hundreds of years (the us-mexico border crossed them, as it were) and they speak spanish from Spain, not from Mexico, and he gave us so much context for what the city and environment is like as a native. Also they had goats and chickens, which is alway fun. Their house looked like a spread from architectural digest.

the weed store! buying weed there is so different! almost no taxes (lol illinois 30% tax on weed), there are windows and you can just walk in and out (no windows in IL and you have to show ID to get in) and they take debit cards! IL is all cash. I bought Adam some red chili toffees and YES i transported them across state lines!

Lows:

the miraculous staircase. This was such a gimmick, you can't even walk on it. It was in the Loretto chapel attached to our hotel so we went (and were genuinely excited about it!) but I do not recommend it.

The dry desert air. I am shriveled like a corn husk. I thought the altitude would get me but it was actually the complete lack of humidity.

That's all I've got for a low. Truly! no real lows! I loved every minute and my outfits were all great. I bought a tiny turquoise necklace as you do when you visit Santa Fe.

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tallymali · 3 months

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When contemplating cosmetic surgery myself I've often fallen into this fear zone where I worry the relatively minor procedure won't fix that doubt in my head. That I'll have it done and then find something else on my body I'm unhappy with and that'll keep repeating until I end up as an art piece/sideshow exibit. So I end up doing nothing and deeply hung up about that one minor- to everyone else- thing.

I guess all I'm asking is do you ever have these thoughts too or if its just my crazy?

this was a long ramble so im putting it under a readmore!

i actually think those are really important thoughts to have! im no expert on anything but id honestly recommend a lot of therapy before pursuing any kind of procedure. ive had body dysmorphia for most of my life and ive also been in a LOT of therapy and i think the ability to differentiate dysmorphic/self-hating thoughts from genuine desires is a skill that can be learned, albeit through a lotttt of work lmao. in my personal experience the dysmorphia-based desire for procedures is very urgent, feels like the most important thing in the world, if i dont get the surgery to change this thing then im just gonna waste my life away being hideous. luckily ive been able to get that voice down to a sort of “background junk mail” that is made to be deleted.

throughout the therapy process ive really kept an eye on my self esteem in general and how i feel about my whole body. and ive definitely felt all around better about it. not in a “im so perfect and flawless!!!” way but moreso “my body is a normal human body and its never gonna be perfect but im mostly chill and content and calm about the way it looks”. ive pretty much lost the desire for all the procedures i previously wanted, all except for my boobs. nowadays i want them to keep looking like My Boobs but be tweaked in a way that makes them a more pleasant and enjoyable experience for me.

so the first thing im asking myself is how would i feel if i DIDNT get that boob procedure. and id be okay with that. theres nothing wrong with my boobs healthwise, they are regular boobs doing regular boob things, everything will be okay. i also very much WANT to take my sweet time thinking on it and maybe eventually having a bunch of consultations with different doctors and then thinking on it even more before deciding whether ill proceed or not. i conceptualise it as a helpful present to myself rather than a fix. im always checking in on these thoughts to see if they’re being tinted by the dysmorphia, and so far they are not.

so yeah, i apologise if none of this is all that relevant or helpful to you. i can really only speak for my own experiences. but yeah, you’re definitely not alone in that kind of thinking! id just definitely recommend therapy to really get to know those doubts in your head and find the best way to deal with them before making any physical changes

#asky ask

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spookyscarydemonbabe · 10 months

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Blog Spotlight

Hello everyone! since i don’t have a ton of time to work on fics and stuff like i used to, i figured i’d use this opportunity to share around some other creators 🥰 i want to be able to show this community more love and support and so i’m going to try and make this a weekly thing! all of the content creators deserve to be shown love and support and if anyone has any creators they’d like me to mention in one of these id love to check out their work and mention them!

the very first creator i’ll be mentioning is my lovely friend @wheels-of-despair

they’re someone that i’ve been mutuals with for a while and i’m so glad that they’re the very first person i’m using for my blog recs!

They write for a variety of Joseph Quinn’s characters and honestly i love to see how much of a genuine fan they are of his characters. She always makes sure to do her research too! For her more historic fics she will always make sure everything is very true to the time period.

They also have their own specific universes for their fics which i love! You’re able to see the difference in personalities when it comes to interacting with the characters.

They collectively have 50+ fanfics already posted for her characters and that’s not including all the other extras 👀

Because they’ve written so much i’ve decided to pick my favorite fic for each of the characters they write for 🥰

Eddie: Wake-Up Call

I’m an absolute sucker for lazy mornings 😂 absolutely adorable and his mannerisms were captured so well! though it’s a shorter fic you’re able to get all the perfect parts in one little package 🥰

Billy: The Little Plant That Could

So sweet! It’s so simple and yet so touching, even if it is just bringing an adorable little plant back to life, i actually got excited to see Billy’s reaction at the end c:

Ralph: Worth It Chapter 5

Picking out just one was a bit tough 😅 but i do love that these fics are written in a way where they can be somewhat read as one-offs as well :) this is the one fic that actually made me shed a tear as i read it, Ralph is just his sweet self as always and it’s hard to not love that!

Tom: The Boyfriend Cure

Though this is their only fic for Tom it was one that i loved nonetheless! Very short and very sweet, i love smaller fics like this, especially when they’re this comforting!

They were also kind enough to let me give them a little interview to help you guys get to know them better 🥰

what got you into writing?

Insanity? 😂 The Brainrot had me in such a chokehold, I had to let it out somehow. I was driving my normal friends crazy. So I came to tumblr last fall, after I'd read almost everything on AO3, and conned eddiemunsonsmum into being my friend. (She wrote a series I read and loved last the summer, when I was still suffering through The Brainrot in silence.) She's the one who convinced me to start writing. So really, this is all her fault. 🥰

do you write anything else other than fanfiction?

I do some writing for work, but it's not that creative.

how many followers do you have?

Closing in on 400. 😳

other than writing, what other interests do you have?

Watching the same things over and over again, and buying things I don't need at thrift stores. 😂 My favorite things to collect are DVDs and old kids' books. I have no place to put either, but if a movie has someone I like in it or a book with cool illustrations was printed before the 70s... yeah, that's probably coming home with me. 😍

if anyone has any of their favorite blogs they’d like me to recommend to everyone i’d be more than happy to check out their work and give them a shoutout 🥰

#stranger things #stranger things 4 #eddie munson #timewasters #ralph penbury #cb strike #billy knight #make up #tom grant #joseph quinn #fic rec #blog recs

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ariapmdeol · 2 years

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zeno anon once again, most likely for the last time (my apologies for bothering you so much haha!) thanks for the rec! I was planning to play that but I wasnt aware of that part, so thank u for the heads up so I could prepare ahead of time. if you have any other game recs in general id love to hear them

i promise youre not bothering me at all, no worries :D! i love talking abt games and stuff so i promise im having fun dsalkjakjdslkjds

Here is a list of game recommendations, with a summary and the major TWs that i can remember! I'll edit in links after i post this ask too! and ill put them under the cut bc this is gonna be long lkjdsalkjdskjads. All games listed are free!

Cell Of Empireo - Sharktale Factory: Major TWs: Cults, Human Experimentation, Body Horror, Character Death, Suicide, a single implied mention of cannibalism (very brief), Overall Dark themes, Two (2) jumpscares. My personal favorite right now! Haruki Atou is a 28 year old detective. When his friend and coworker, Eiji Shinano, goes missing, he follows him to his last known location... the mysterious cult known as the Empyrean Heaven Research Institute. LOTS of lore. Like genuinely every single detail feels so fleshed out, it's insane! Foreshadowing EVERYWHERE. this one has a similar vibe to ZENO to me? Also i love the character writing in this game, everyone has their own motivations and plans and its SO DETAILED. Theres a gay mad scientist! a headless rat! a puppy!!! No official playable translation, but there is a translator who has uploaded the entirety of the base game on youtube! The DLC is currently being translated. 7 endings, + bonus scenes based on whether a specific flag is triggered.

Witch's Heart - IZ (Blue Star Entertainment): Major TWs: Body Horror, Suicide, Murder, Dark themes. While playing up in the mountains, Claire Elford finds herself taking shelter from the rain in a mansion. Soon, she finds four other people, some bizarre monsters - and no way back out. In the company of demons, the five must figure out how to escape... and solve the mystery of the legendary wish-granting treasure, the Witch's Heart. This one is split into multiple scenarios. There is the base game, Witch's Heart Bonus Stage as the direct sequel, and Sirius' Conclusion. There are more to come (more character conclusions). This one is fun! Wonderful Character writing, fun gameplay, and charming interactions between the whole cast. Five endings.

SHTDN - Umami Mazu (Marutoku Kichi): Major TWs: nothing major iirc. brief mention of sex, some discussion of death. The desktop is peaceful as usual. In order to delete the computer virus called "Agape", the anti-virus program, Virus Buster "Goyou", must cooperate with it while searching through the computer's files. This one is short and genuine, with GORGEOUS backgrounds. It's STUNNING. It’s so so so cute and the conversations between Goyou and Agape are genuinely sweet <3!! Same creator as ZENO, different translator! Three endings.

Eloquent Countenance - RachelDrawsThis: Major TWs: religion, horror imagery, blood You have been told that the pastor of your church had suddenly passed away last night. As you helped with his wife's funeral not so long ago, you were assigned to assist the pastor's funeral service today as well. But as soon as you were about to start the service, you hear a strange voice in your head… This is short but compelling! Made for a game jam where the entire game takes place in a single room. I had a lot of fun with this one :D WONDERFUL character writing! Two endings.

Cold Front - RachelDrawsThis: Major TWs: Blood, gore, disturbing imagery. Augustine and Winnie have always been together their whole childhood. Ever since elementary school up until now, when they have graduated high school. They were inseparable. But now that Winnie got accepted to his university, he is soon leaving town. The two decide to spend their last day together before his move. Not long after they hopped into Winnie's car, they suddenly find themselves trapped in a freezing blizzard... It's currently July. also short with 2 endings! FANTASTIC character writing, both Winnie and Augustine feel SO fleshed out <3

Your Turn to Die - A Death Game By Majority - Nankidai: Major TWs: Death, graphic depictions of violence, Hallucinations, Trauma, overall dark themes. Sara Chidouin returns home from school late one night to discover that something's gone terribly wrong. When she comes to, she finds herself, her friend Joe, and 9 other people trapped in a mysterious place. Placed in life-and-death situations, they must come to an agreement about what they should do - and who should die. YTTD <3 this one is released up through chapter 3-1B, with part 3-2 to be the final part when it is released. Multiple routes! this is what got me into playing these kinds of games in the first place :D very fleshed out characters, details matter! your choices determine who lives or dies!

Therapy With Dr. Albert Krueger - Dino999z Major TWs: jumpscares, cartoon gore, blood, flashing images, loud noises The genius of Dr. Krueger shines again with his newest revolutionary breakthrough therapeutic sessions. Allow Krueger’s new treatment to tackle the toughest cases of mental disorder (peer-review pending) and fears in our ever changing day to day world. The genius lies not only within Krueger's stunning techniques as a therapist, but also with what he calls “Dream Therapy”, combining breakthrough neuron technology with his closely held therapy principals. So what are you waiting for? Sign up for your therapy today! HELLOOOOO MR KRUEGER! Same creator and world as VTSOM, with some connections between the two (though the order in which you play them doesnt matter)! three endings! I love this silly goofy marine biologist turned therapist! the protagonist is NB :D

#rpgmaker games #cell of empireo #cold front #eloquent countenance #SHTDN #therapy with dr albert krueger #your turn to die #witch's heart #rpgmaker horror #indie games #zeno anon #aria rambles #anon #aria answers #game recs

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zosociologist · 9 months

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"Dating Peter Tork Would Be Like..." [Scrapped]

[Teacher!Peter x Librarian!Black!Female!Reader Headcannon]

A/N: This was bound to happen eventually...just glad I was able to get this out of my system; WwaBRiM per usual and likes, comments, & reblogs are strongly encouraged(=

Era: Mid-70s (around the time Peter became a teacher)

Warnings: Mentions of fooling around, and light makeout stuff.

Yeah, you knew who Peter Tork was....as did every young woman that came of age in the 60s and had a working television in the house.

Re-run episodes of The Monkees is what helped you get through your last year of college, and although you hate to admit it, you'll be forever grateful(:

Your love for sharing knowledge led you to get a Bachelor's in Education, but your spite of those around you saying that men don't like women that are "overachievers" got you your Master's in Library Science.

You have quite a few interests: you paint, sing, and play the guitar now and then, and read and write a lot of poetry and stories.

So, you took those skills and became a Librarian at a nice high school in the hills, and the job is very enjoyable, just as you would’ve expected it to be.

You expected there to be hundreds of things checked in and out per day and thousands per week, resulting in hours of restocking shelves and setting displays.

And you were expecting to have engaging conversations with students as they tell you about their recent reads, while you return the favor by giving them even more book recommendations to further expand their minds.

What you DID NOT expect when the new school year started, was for an oddly familiar man to approach your counter inquiring about an instructor’s copy of a textbook that he’d ordered for his science course.

And you’re still not sure if it was your slight gasp or starstruck demeanor over the random circumstances, but something made him chuckle at the situation while you spoke in disbelief, “Nooo, you can’t be”, “The only problem is, I am”.

Far off from his former band days, Peter grew his hair out much longer and sported a beard that you thought fit him very well. He also dropped his alias and went by his actual surname, Mr. Thorkelson. A subtle change that made a huge difference.

At first, you weren’t so sure that Peter could be that friendly a person, even bashful at times, but you learned early on that it was all genuine.

That was just the kind of person he was. On the job, Peter could talk to anyone and make friends with everyone.

But after a while, you noticed he went out of his way to make conversation with you…even though the library is nowhere en route to his classroom.

You two soon became good friends, bonding over various things from literature to your shared love for the folk music scene.

Whenever you had free time in your schedules, you’d be at each other’s respective workstations scribbling ideas on chalkboards or making pyramids out of lost library cards and bookmarks (that you’d return to the students that lost them immediately after).

Somedays you and Peter could even be found in the teacher’s lounge, sharing reviews of movies you’d watched in theaters that past weekend.

Your coworkers started calling you “two peas in a pod” and neither of you minded it…as a matter of fact, you were both kinda hoping the phrase spoke for itself.

There would be days when you’d set a big apple on his desk before he got to his classroom in the morning, and he’d return the gratitude by waiting until you were in the back of the library somewhere, ID-ing some publishers, before placing a folded paper crane on a short stack of books on your counter.

Of course, there was something there! But nobody said anything for fear of ruining the great friendship you both had cultivated for months.

But in the thrill of the moment, and contrary to Mr. Thorkelson’s belief, you took the liberty of making the first move…and at the Christmas faculty party of all places!

The event was off school grounds at a venue in the city. The night was young, and it was freeing to see your coworkers let loose outside of the professional box that working as educators placed them in.

Add in the fact there was an open bar and everyone was basically on cloud nine.

There were Secret Santa gifts and party games, and one of them was, of course, "Truth or Dare".

Salaries were exposed, shots were taken, relationships and teacher pregnancies were revealed…

But your new Library Assistant, with a suggestive amount of wine in their system, took the liberty of shooting Peter a truth question: "I saw you put a crane on (y/n)'s desk a week or so ago. Do you two have something going on?"

Your eyes shot up from the unopened Secret Santa gift you received just in time to witness Peter finish his old-fashioned, "With all the love and respect in the world, no. We do not."

Your co-workers gave lively reactions, and the game quickly moved ahead, but now the tension between you two became suddenly unavoidable.

Peter couldn't bring himself to look at you, let alone in your direction. He thought he messed up everything, by not saying something different. He felt like it set his relationship with you back by a long shot. How was he supposed to recover from that if he ever did find the balls to confess that he thought the world of you?

You, on the other hand, didn't think much of it….mostly. I mean, sure, you did like him….A LOT. But for the sake of professionalism, you figured that if it wasn't meant to be, then it wasn't meant to be.

The evening progressed and so did the party, but you figured you'd make your discreet leave and wave goodbye to a few close coworkers early.

You saved Peter's goodbye for last and gave him a warm embrace like usual along with a warm message, "Don't worry, okay? We're good! I'll see you back at The Hills after the break. Merry Christmas, Peter."

And off you went…….to the venue's unsupervised walk-in coat closet to retrieve yours. It took you a bit of sliding around coats on hangers to track it down but you finally were able to get a hold of it.

When you opened the closet door to exit, Peter was on the other side holding your Secret Santa gift you left behind.

You kinda just stood there? Mouth open and in shock, but the good kind. You even backed up a little bit, hoping that he would walk in.

And he did. Shutting the closet door behind him, Peter stepped forward, closing the gap as if he was just a short space away from you.

"You forgot this on the table and I didn't want you to leave without it." He smiled, handing the gift back to you as you handed your coat over for him to hold.

Unraveling the silver and gold wrapping paper, you couldn't help but rest your forehead against the gift and laugh: a hardcover copy of "Origami: The Art of Paper Folding" by Robert Harbin.

You were tickled because you KNEW it was Peter, and he couldn't help but smile at your infectious laugh.

"What? What's so funny?", "No, it's just this is so adorable! Did you plan this? Did you pull strings to be my Secret Santa?", "I didn't, I promise that was coincidental. I just figured since I was making so many of these and leaving them with you, I'd give you something so you can make your own.", "But I like when you make them for me!"

Your eyes were filled with such sincerity, and you were HOPING…that it would be enough for him to TAKE A HINT…..

You didn't wait. You kissed Peter, but he immediately followed suit, cupping your face as he leaned into it. The book slipped out of your hand as Peter grabbed your waist, backing you two into the wall as the line of hung coats surrounded you both.

The kissing intensified, and Peter dropped your coat to the floor as he unbuttoned his cotton henley shirt, never taking his lips off yours. You lost all sense of time. The closet got smaller and warmer by the minute, and frankly, you were feeling more aroused than you ever had in your life. And he sensed that, but he also respected you much more than just minimizing what you two share to a quick fuck in a stuffy coat closet at the faculty Christmas party.

So in the midst of you reaching to undo his belt buckle, he stopped you, fixed you both back up, retrieved his corduroy jacket, and kissed your forehead.

Gathering your things, you both left the party together, unnoticed, and hand in hand.

You two finished the evening by watching artists perform at a venue you randomly stumbled upon.

❣Dating Life❣

You and Peter becoming official made everything that you were already platonically doing regularly, feel a lot more special.

You still bother each other on school grounds, but now you enjoy one another off of school grounds as well! (In more ways than one)

Movie theaters, plays, concerts, farmers markets, and bookstores on the weekends. And you have sleepovers at either of your apartments.

You always love his place. It always feels cozy and nostalgic because of some things he has around from his days as a television star.

He'll lay his head in your lap in his living room conversation pit and share stories from the set, and you enjoy every moment of it. He plays his guitar or piano and you'll listen or sing along.

But you're convinced he loves your place more. He adores just how much "the essence of your apartment matches your personality" or whatever that means.

You'll admit, you have a lot of scholastic things lying around that gives away your identity as an educator, but your apartment holds much more than that!

He loves your collection of autobiographies, novels, and poetry books of Black authors, and finds joy in having you read passages written by esteemed artists of the Harlem Renaissance to him as he listens intently.

You'll cook together and sit on your couch watching sitcoms, music, and game shows.

And he was SO determined in helping you out whenever you have a wash day, so you walked him through how you detangle your hair and he's been a specialist ever since😌

He will make up any and every excuse possible to hold you and just be in your space.

He loves when you just lay together in silence, preferably with the window open so you can hear the sounds of the outside world and everything happening around you both while you're in your little sacred space.

That's happened quite a few times on Sunday nights, which rolled over into Monday mornings…which resulted in carpools to work where you'd have to act like you two didn't just arrive together from the same place.

You were almost late quite a few times on those types of mornings, it's like Peter wouldn't let you shower and get dressed in peace without messing up your outfit due to his..............antics…..

Oh, he wasn't a saint. You've heard rumors of the parties he'd host at his old Hollywood home, but you didn't think he was THIS mischievous…

When it came to sex, you were far from innocent. But Peter brought out this adventurous side of you as far as stepping out of your comfort zone goes.

You went three rounds in the back of a van at a music festival high off Mary-Jane once because you kept giving him praise and it drove him insane.

Sure, the bedroom, shower, kitchen, and balcony were nice…..but the library back room, teacher's lounge, janitor's closet, his classroom, and school parking lot in his backseat were mind-numbing. There was also your childhood bedroom when you went back to visit once…It was an otherworldly experience.

And he's such a giver! His definition of helping you de-stress is going down on you while you vent about what happened during the day and how it made you feel (and how he's making you feel).

He LIVES for seeing you come undone and lose yourself in pleasure, it's a challenge to him almost.

You're careful with how blissed-out you look after he makes you finish because HE WILL immediately go again.

And that's basically Peter's whole thing, he lives to please and enjoys helping in any possible way he can

Like that one time you and your library assistant were supposed to go over to the primary school to read books to the little kids and sing songs while you played your guitar , but the assistant got sick so Peter gladly snatched up his guitar as well and went along as your Stories and Songs accomplice

[End of Writing]

I started writing this in May but I just had so much going on during the summer that I would have to keep pausing my writing and just add on when inspo hit. This is basically the entire headcannon I guess, but I just didn't know how to close this one out and I didn't wanna just abruptly stop, ya know? BUT my classes are starting back soon....and with that comes the random and unexpected spurts of writing inspiration so I'm hoping for the best😅

#my writing #the monkees #peter tork #peter tork fanfic #the monkees fanfic #60s music #70s fanfiction

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