#like i can feel the brainworms setting in so hard i am GOING to get pov rot and get so excited about my perceptions of his character that i | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

louroth · 9 months

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Hello hello everybody! It is time for another months progress, and I am so excited to share with you, all the things I have gotten my grimy little gremlin hands on. First off, what we are all here for; writing. I have been on fire, to be honest! Last month I churned through the last of the first batch of erotica stories (there's 6 (!!!) of them on my patreon already) and set them up for publishing along with two more unseen ones- I'm still going over the logistics of where to publish for the best revenue (I know this sounds boring, but I have to make an income somehow, and hopefully find another audience as a smut writer on other platforms 💀 I love writing it so why not!), and I am making headway, learning the ins and outs of self publishing. On patreon, there are also two Q&A's that are written in a bit more fictional manner, in character: a more fun way than just writing answers straight up and down. I have enjoyed those so much! There's a bunch of other stuff I haven't even mentioned- honestly, I have to say, I'm really proud of my output on Patreon even though I have been really anxious about writing full time. It's going great! I have to thank my new friends and support-network on discord; you make this all worth it. I cannot express how fun it is to shoot the shit with you in vc, gaming together, or seeing your shenanigans in gen or your in depth theories (thanks for the brainworms!) or memes or staring longingly at the fanfic channel or drooling over your art (ouro related or not) or... Gah. You are just amazing people, and I will waste no opportunity in saying so. Thank you forever and ever and ever an-

When it comes to OUROBOROS, I am happy to announce that the next chapter is damn near done! I was halted because of the discovery that dashingdon is no longer supported by it's creator, and have been working on the twine version ever since, earlier than I expected- it's tough work, but I am so excited to make this an actual game made entirely by myself, and not submitting to a company that quite frankly leaves a bitter aftertaste. It is taking long to make because I want to make it mobile compatible from the start, which there isn't a lot of resources for. But I'm doing my best! The plan is that I will be posting the next chapter for Patreons in the coming month, and then treat you to a full twine release here on tumblr. I haven't made any rewrites when porting the twine build, but I would like to do that too... so we will see; this plan is not set in stone. I will just have to see how it evolves over the next month. Yes, beta-readers is still on the schedule, just holding off a little while while I wrap my head around this new coding landscape.

Other than that, I have been working on the set aesthetic for ouro, which has been really hard, a lot harder than I expected. You all know I am no wizard when it comes to graphic design, but I want to at least develop a set palette and imagery and portraits that is cohesive to the story. The work is ongoing, and I don't have much to say about it- even though it is taking a lot of my brain power. I'm hoping I can come to some kind of set and in depth conclusion that I am happy with before the twine release, because I want the game to feel like a treat to open up and play; a world to get lost in.

That's it! If you want to see weekly and more in depth dev-logs, you know where to go. I hope you have an amazing day or night, and we will see each other soon. xx

#OUROBOROS #ouroboros-if #interactive fiction #twine wip #progress report #dev log #I am SO sorry I haven't been around a lot to answer asks- there is so much work to be done and only so little of me to go around whuhuhuhu #send help lmfao. tuck me into your pocket. keep me safe!!!! I have no idea how people manage all this. But I promise and cross my heart I a #Doing My Best™#other things not mentioned: I have been going through The Stress with my doagy who injured her leg but today we finally took a full hike t #together- she really scared me with how much pain she was in but we made it through 😭 I cannot thank my patreon supporters enough because #your support is making me breathe easy about the upcoming vet bill. why are blood samples so expensive. wah #yeees yees im bursting with butterflies and rainbow emotions. but truly- I can't thank you enough #Onwards! We keep moving!I am so excited for all this-damn all the stress and the insecurities-I am Doing It!!! It is Happening! Wahoo!

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bryce-bucher · 1 year

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Midwest Lost Post #1

Introduction:

This is my second time writing this post because I pressed ctrl z on accident at the end of my (very long) first attempt and apparently tumblr doesn't have a redo button. I am going to scream. Anyway, Midwest Lost is a souls-like set in the American Midwest in which you play as an angsty teenage boy with a big fuck off sword. My main inspirations for this project are the mainline souls games (also bloodborne psx), metal gear rising revengeance, and kingdom hearts 358/2 days. The best way I can describe my goal for this project is that I want it to be a fun, earnest, introspective, and emotionally raw teenage drama with a focus on atmosphere, narrative, and cool bossfights. As you can probably tell this project is the most early in development of the three I'm currently working on.

Story:

I'm not going to go into too much detail here because I want to avoid talking about spoilers, and, also, anything is subject to change at this point. The gist of it is that you are playing as an emotionally troubled teenage boy who (figuratively and literally) hides behind his big ol' sword. His ultimate goal is to leave his dead-end home town behind and make a better life for himself. The first obstacle of many in this goal is the protagonist's abusive stepfather who serves as the introductory bossfight of the game. I have a lot of ideas for bossfights that I am extremely excited about, but I'll avoid talking about them here so that I can show them off when they are more developed (one of them I'm excited about is a mom van). The game is likely going to be 50% exploration of a vibin small town and 50% fighting bosses, so most of my effort is going into those two things. The game's story is going to take place in chapters with various time gaps between them. This will allow me to set different chapters in different seasons, and, most importantly, it will let me set a chapter on Halloween night. The last thing I'll talk about in regards to the story is that, as absurd as the subject matter may get, I want to avoid the game feeling irony poisoned at any point. I want the game to feel earnest as that is how I'm feelin' while making it.

Mechanics to Appease a Goopy Goblin Gamer Brain:

I would describe my enjoyment of games as a medium as belonging on a spectrum where the left has experiences that touch me in an more complex emotional sense, and the right has experiences that are pure serotonin injected straight into my soul. The souls games sit comfortably in the middle. This is because the atmosphere, storytelling, and general vibe of the souls games is really harrowing and beautiful, and the gameplay gives me the kind of intense brainworms that lead me to play through it twice a month. Before working on my current three projects, I hadn't really worked on something that I intended to necessarily be fun. In a way, I'm sort of getting out of my comfort zone by making something so mechanically heavy. It's been a nice change of pace to learn that I can focus on atmosphere and gameplay without either of them feeling creatively unsatisfying. Something you must know about me is that I have an immeasurable fixation on dodge rolling, and I think it's one of my favorite mechanics of all time. All this to say I put a dodge roll in my game, and I think it's feelin' really good.

Animation is Hard:

(But if I'm being honest, I'm getting there.)

Souls-likes are sort of unique as a genre in that animation is extra important in them. In something like a platformer you might have a bad jump animation that makes the gamefeel all wonky, but the jump itself will still work the same. In contrast, a 3D-Action game like Dark Souls is very dependent on its animations to control timing, spacing, and telegraphing on top of the gamefeel. Before starting this project I didn't really know if I had the animation chops to pull something like this off, but heading straight into the deep end has, I think, really helped me improve my animation skills quickly. The moment I got the stepfather's "lunge + spin knife around" attack implemented (as pictured above) I got a lot more confident in my ability to probably make this game feel pretty dang fun. Recently, I had to make 8 different strafe animations and it strangely didn't feel like a chore at all. I'll talk about that more next week since it's related to the mechanic I'm currently working on.

Drinkz:

The main healing items in this game are a variety of energy drinks, coffee brands, soda, etc. that each have their own unique effect. In the above gifs you can see the two that I have currently implemented. These are the green and blue varieties of in-world brand "Vlade Energy". The green one is the most basic heal item, and it's the one you start off with. It allows you to take two sips per can with each sip healing a good deal, and you can roll out of the drink animation at anytime; however, cancelling the animation also discards any sips yet taken while still using up the can. The blue one stacks a passive buff on the player that allows them to heal by dodging through enemy attacks. I'm really happy with the presentation of the heal mechanic with the fun particles, the sfx (take my word for it I guess), and the animation of the protagonist throwing the empty can away.

Music:

The game currently has none. I'm looking to commission a bunch of artists to fill up the soundtrack with some banging Midwest Emo or songs that otherwise have an indie feel. If you make music and are interested in doing a song or two please hmu. It'll be a p long while before I'm actually worrying about getting music in the game, but I thought I'd mention it. There is also gonna be some fights that have tracks way outside of the Midwest Emo genre, so don't be afraid to hmu if you are making different types of stuff.

Conclusion:

I wish I could talk more about this project, but I'm gonna have to wait until it's further along. Next week I'll be talking about my strafing / sidestepping mechanic that I'm currently implementing, so I'll see ya then. I'd like to end this post by mentioning that the amazing portrait of the main character seen in the health UI was commissioned from lonesomnia. I cannot stress enough how much I love how that piece came out.

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astridthevalkyrie · 2 months

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U want lds thoughts? I gotchu 🫡

I really like all 3 boys, but I'm leaning Zayne bc he's just so husband coded. He's the only one I could see a long-term relationship w. I love Xavier and Rafayel, but I just can't picture them as husbands or dads (at least w my MC/myself). I also desperately need them to interact in game and in the main story, there's just sm potential for chaos and funnies.

I honestly dk what will happen next. Obviously, MC is gonna want to investigate Onichynus and her heart, but idk how that story will unfold or how they'll tie in the stories w each li and their separate myths/reincarnation bit. (Also, the fact that the myths happen in the future doesn't make sense to me yet, so I hope they plan to really flesh that out and not give us questionable writing like most mobile otomes do). Idk how I feel abt Sylus (and possibly Caleb) becoming lis, ig I'll have to see what they're like and if they appeal to me at all, bc so far we haven't had enough Caleb content for me to actually get attached (I was also convinced he was MCs brother so idt I'll ever be able to see him romantically 😭).

I hope we'll get to see more of the side characters and what MCs life is like outside of just the three guys, but I honestly doubt it lmao (more for me to hc abt ig lol).

I have more but this is already rambly and idk how to be coherent rn. This game is giving me brainworms and I'm def thinking abt it too hard. Oh, well. I don't consume media, media consumes me.

i'm telling you it's xavier boyfriend zayne husband and rafayel sneaky link. that's exactly the look and vibe they give off.

i think as of right now zayne is the most popular, at least on ao3 him/mc is the most popular ship. which is just to be expected when you have a levi ackerman coded character LOL. like you said, he's a husband. he just is. he's a doctor and he's successful and he cares for the mc so deeply it just makes sense. i started the game for him because. i mean he looks like THAT. he acts like THAT. he has ice powers and you get to melt the ice in his heart and make him love you i adore that shit see my pinned post for the kind of romance i write you could make a zayne x reader set in the aot universe and it would be my fic. and dooooooon't get me started on dawnbreaker zayne. DON'T GET ME STARTED i gasped during the anecdote when the truth about the kid comes out. he dreams about his past life what the fuck bro what the fuck.

surprisingly, though, while i do love him, he's probably the one i've had the least amount of thoughts about (that's still clearly a lot of thoughts so that's not saying much). i think it's partly because my gacha favors xavier and rafayel a lot more and right now i pretty much am just heavily thinking about whichever guy i consumed the content for last.

xavier and rafayel have me obsessed. i thought xavier would be completely meh because zen from mysme was meh for me. but um. he was not meh. my levi hawks pattern has told me that i love a man who was forced into fighting because of the stupid goodness in his heart and manipulative outside forces. and even though that's not exactly what's going on with xav, he does have that vibe. his is the only myth i've watched in full and i'm just. they should have been able to go to uluru together. the scene where they're both lying on the ground i have watched it so many times. i love love love the royalty x captain of the guards trope so much. the fact that they both serve in both roles is insane. i've read the anecdote about her first life on philos too there's a fucking part in there that talks about how he shares his EARBUDS with you?????? end me.

and rafayel is beautiful. like he's actually beautiful. his english voice actor makes him sound so fucking bisexual + the bi wife energy whenever you're with him is just. UGH. the game is hilarious whenever he's on screen and obviously with the way the main story has ended for now he's the most intriguing. and while you can feel the pining energy from all three of them, his is just. lowkey the most pathetic. and i eat it up. bro started TEACHING AT HER COLLEGE just for the chance to see her. i like that he's not possessive per se but he is very whiny and attention seeking the sassy man syndrome is real. i need to unlock his myth but i'm not patient so i may very likely just watch it on youtube. i need to see hunter rafayel. i need to see him right now.

the main story is genuinely fascinating. i was a little bit bored up until the explosion happened and it really kicked in. bc suddenly it's not just 3 guys and you doing your best, but you actively investigating and them helping you. like i said i don't have raf's myth and i haven't finished zayne's yet (need more fucking upgrades to his card) so i don't have the full story but at least what i'm getting right now is okay. they're all from the past or future. they all remember?? xavier and rafayel definitely do. zayne knows something about grandma who seems kinda shady to me. i've seen the caleb=sylus or at least caleb lives theories. i saw someone say the man at the end isn't sylus though? and his english va is the same as caleb's but in other languages it's someone else. idk.

idk about the others but xavier's myth being in the future makes sense. i'm pretty sure the timeline goes: in our current timeline, earth is about to go bye-bye and become inhabitable bc of wanderers -> survivors go to philos -> xavier and a new mc are both born -> she dies bc of something in her heart and is reborn bc she's the only one who's truly immortal (everyone else on philos lives forever naturally but can still be killed i think??) -> new lightseeker mc and xavier are meant to become guard and prince respectively but philos is dying -> to save mc from being sacrificed again and again xavier decides to go back in time to find another way where he after at least like 200 years meets current timeline mc

i know what you mean about not being able to see caleb as a love interest. the first time i saw him i genuinely thought they had no need to make my brother this hot what the fuck. and then i realized he was just her childhood friend and i went

and then he blew up 😭

i neeeeeed to see the love interests interact. i mean mc barely thinks about the others whenever she's with one but i really hope in the next arc we actually see them meeting each other. beefing or working together or whatever, i need to know (i may also have already started a fic about what's gonna happen next bc i'm mentally ill). xavier has a tracker on her so he should be able to find her and zayne kinda disappeared off the face of the earth but i want them all back. i want interaction. i want it so bad.

#thank you for the thoughts and for letting me ramble LMAO #love and deepspace

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kyshiwarrior · 2 months

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tbh. i liked live action jet but i also missed his anger at the world he seemed less angry to me although i am hoping they will keep this version alive because katara was still kinda defending him in the tunnels to sokka?? praying someone in that writing room has jet brainworms

isn't he so !!!!!!!!!!!

I really doubt they're going to let him live unfortunately :( I just watched Sebastian's other work and I feel like he was hired for all the range he has to offer + if Hahn didn't live, Jet doesn't stand a chance.

They also set up the mind control early with his conversation with Katara, actually being specific about his past while bringing to light what it takes to get past 'a mental block' that prevents you from reaching your potential as a fighter. He asked her to remember her mom past the tragedy and something about her that was alive -- that's definitely gonna make a comeback when they're breaking him out of the Dai Li mind control. Specifically why I think he's doomed alongside this foreshadowing is his word choices:

I'm placing $20 on this btw. There's NO WAY this isn't a set up for season 2.

I do, however, have good temporary news!!! I'm betting they give him a redemption arc EARLY and JUSTLY. In the original, he was 'redemption by death' trope which was shitty as hell. I think they have a golden opportunity to do more with his character by keeping him in Omashu. They set it up perfectly as it is: Jet's whole reason for trying to kill King Bumi was BECAUSE Jet thought he gave up and wasn't doing anything to help the people . . . what do you think it must be like for Jet to watch Omashu to be taken over because an order NOT TO DO ANYTHING? Oh he's gonna be so rightfully pissed!!! This is a perfect set up for someone who was RIGHT but also out of the loop. (honestly , fuck king bumi, i know it works out in the end but I dont forgive him for giggling to himself while everyone was horrified and helpless to the violence)

With that said, I think they're going to make Jet the lead or one of the leaders in the Omashu resistance group we see in Book Two! This makes so much sense AND offers a good redemption arc. His worst nightmare came to life and now he has the chance to not make things worse for his people but step up properly as a PROTECTOR AND GUARDIAN. That's all he really wanted to be. If they already reached what he fought so hard and swallowed his morals to prevent, his actions from there speak LOUD. That group gets convinced to prioritize escaping over fighting and it saves all their lives. I would LOVE for Jet to come to peace with that. -- even though he's also just for wanting to go out fighting.

So I'll take Jet dying if it means at LEAST we get early redemption arc that can make the Jet-Antis switch up

#jet #jet atla #atla #natla #avatar the last airbender #avatar liveaction #WRITERS ROOM I KNOW YOUVE STALKED MY BLOG BEFORE SO HEAR ME OUT NOW

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nyxofdemons · 3 months

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OHHHHKAY I FINALLY WATCHED THE FIRST EPISODE OF HAZBIN ON YOUTUBE AND . HM. HM. MANY MANY THOUGHTS HEAD FULL

okay okay. please dont hate me. i was underwhelmed

LISTEN I CAN EXPLAIN. the first thing that stuck out to me was the,,,, dialogue? in some scenes its GREAT but initially i was sort of jarred by it, i feel like it's going wayyy too hard on the exposition at the cost of immersion. it just feels noticeably clunky in scenes

the SECOND thing, i both LOVE and dislike the music. i love like 65% of happy day in hell but vaggie's sudden interjection, plus the sequence where the background changes and charlie is like rolling along with all the random sinners singing felt. aghhhh i don't have a new word a lot of it just feels CLUNKY to me !! help !!!

i DO enjoy the characterization, from the get go a lot of it seems very very clear and tightly written. alastor remains my favorite character and the implications of vaggie making a deal with him have me MAJORLY intrigued i am SO curious about their dynamic in particular .

i. fucking. LOVE. ADAM. OH MY GOD HES GREAT. his speech style his outrageous personality HIS TAKEOVER OF HAPPY DAY IN HELL MADE ME SOOO EXCITED, THAT WAS THE BEST PART OF THE EPISODE TO ME. ive seen criticism of him as 'uhh the writing is so dumb and lazy if the angels behave just like the sinners' but i literally dont give a fuck he is ENTERTAINING (and if i wanted to be serious about it i COULD say something about the juxtaposition between the angels and sinners seemingly having the same brand of humor but being WILDLY different in terms of worldview and philosophy. the angels who are self-obsessed and think theyre the greatest things to ever exist vs the sinners fully embracing themselves as the WORST things to ever exist, and charlie somewhere in the middle. oooooh i just KNOW this is gonna be a whole thing for my brain to chew on)

okay okay im sure theres more i could say but . hhhh. brainworms only. i think my official stance, for right now, is that i am fully optimistic that the rest of the show is gonna be awesome, but, as for right now... i think i actually preferred the youtube pilot to this first episode. i enjoyed the set design more, the character animation more (it feels stiffer in this one?? hazbin pilot and helluva boss both have a way more BOUNCY feel to them, i think, and i just adore it; i felt like it was missing from this one a bit), and most ESPECIALLY the dialogue. i way preferred the dialogue in the pilot than in here.

i DID absolutely love the expectation subversion of adam and lilith, though. that they eagerly wanted to share the gift of free will with humanity, rather than trying to orchestrate a cataclysm on purpose. i really enjoyed that.

(also, my final note: the voice acting is... okay. to me. i feel like some of the voices are sort of forced, and no matter how good he is, i am sorry, but i can NOT reconcile that voice with husk's face and design. it just feels so jarring every time he opens his mouth like my brain is struggling to connect that that's where this voice is coming from. im sorry mr david)

#mine #hazbin hotel #I HAVE NOT WATCHED POISON YET BTW. ILL GET THERE

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selkiefinalist · 5 months

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for director's cut: you promised not to write me an essay about nate's complicated relationship to his selkie heritage, but if I asked you to write me that essay??? If you aren't up for that, talk to me about your ej/sid ficlet because I, too, have thoughts and feelings and brainworms about two first overalls who went on two very different trajectories and also nathan mackinnon was there. -patrichornkissed

@patrichornkissed i do this for you even though you know i struggle to articulate things well. but if we are going to talk about nate’s complicated relationship to his selkie heritage (in that fic anyway), then i think we have to talk about it in terms of control, vulnerability, sameness, and tradition; and how sometimes nate wants all of those things, and sometimes he wants some of them, but most of them he doesn’t want to want at all. and at least a part of that fic is nate letting himself want.

control is a theme that’s so central to how i write nate, because this is a man who has built up so much lore about controlling his own destiny. changed his training! changed his diet! changed his therapist/therapy! he’s an outcome-based individual, and he can be pretty ruthless (in terms of his own soft-wants) when pursuing what i’ll call a hard-want. no euphemism intended. like, he will ignore the soft animal of his body if it means getting that big silver cup, you know. and the thing about being a selkie is that, at its mythological core, selkies are always in danger of giving up control of their lives. someone steals your skin and you can’t find it: game over. your life is no longer your own. of course in our modern era, that’s no longer such a threat - so instead i translated that into a physical need. he needs to change periodically in order to stay healthy; his biology requires that he face his selkie nature. he can’t cut it off entirely and continue to perform the way he wants to as a player. and he hates that, being betrayed by his own biology. i think you can see that in how he forces himself through the change, when he could let it happen more organically/naturally - he’s like, this is gonna hurt but let’s just get it over with, pain is temporary. and you know i love setting up that kind of life approach because it informs his choice to go all-in on ej even when he knows from the outset that it’s likely not going to turn out the way he wants it to.

that segues into vulnerability, i think, because nate has to change - and, even though the likelihood of someone stealing his skin and trapping him in that salt-scoured shack by the seashore or whatever is very small, it still exists. any time he’s changing, any time his skin is exposed. there’s risk. i played around with the ending scenes a bit in the original outlining, and one of the versions of the end that just didn’t fit anymore by the time i actually made it there was a scene where ej steals nate’s skin in CA, and nate lets him. like, it was implicit that ej would give it back if nate wanted him to, but nate was like, ‘keep it, it’s safe in your hands.’ not to mention the moments where he’s actually changing, naked and in so much pain on a dark beach. not an elegant moment, not the way you want your partner to see you when you’re trying to seem sexy and cool! but he gives that to ej from the very first beach scene - just hands himself over. and at that point, ej definitely doesn’t know what that gesture means - i don’t think nate does, fully, either - but i am here to tell you that gabe wasn’t gently draping blankets over nate or tucking his own hat over nate’s cold little ears, and nate definitely wouldn’t have let him. it might be fun to write that scene, actually (“fun,” lol, punch me in the face please) - from a previous season, gabe taking him out. just to see the differences! of course i told you this already, but that progression of car scenes and beach scenes, and having to painstakingly layer in growing intimacy until we get to that vancouver beach where nate’s like “you should watch me,” and ej finally does. tricky to execute but i do think i did okay with that. MY POINT IS, clear to me from the beginning that nate really wants that vulnerability - he literally gives ej shit about not looking at him in the first scene - even if he hates the implications of being vulnerable. he’s seeking it out from ej specifically because he trusts him not to use it against him. WAAH

sameness is really just in relation to hockey culture; nate’s not the only selkie in the league or the only two-natured, but the league enforces certain privacy standards not just to protect players but to keep that otherness from making any one player stand out too much. all nhl hockey players, at least to some degree, have to buy into that homogenous presentation. and for nate, the chips are already stacked a bit against him, because he’s not the same. more of an undercurrent in the fic but another complication - physically being a selkie can create issues with his play, socially it sets him apart from the team (his pod), and professionally could be seen as a liability from the league.

finally, tradition. on a side note, i’d say world-building in general is one thing i’m actually good at, and i was drafting (early draft) that trip back to cole harbour for christmas and realized i had done almost nothing to actually build out selkie culture. so i had to invent the chest and robe stuff really quick and then go back and insert that lore into other scenes. those symbols ended up working well, i think, but were certainly not part of the original outline.

okay, back to tradition. idk this is going to be a mess, but selkie tradition in this fic is very much draped in privacy, secrecy, and following the rules. how not? if a literal stranger can steal your entire life, you gotta be careful about things. but they live separately versus communally, and are pretty tight-lipped, even with each other. insulated, kind of. and i think like any young person, some traditions are more meaningful to nate and some just seem like a pain in the ass, especially when you know he’s not necessarily the biggest fan of his selkieness to begin with. but traditions also hold a lot of weight, at times. and so nate has to kind of negotiate for himself and within himself which he wants to keep, or at least acknowledge he’s not as detached as he thinks he is (that moment on New Year’s Day when he thinks ej’s about to hit him with a robe, for example). and you know, when he gets to see ej’s whole-hearted acceptance of him, sees ej start to engage in those traditions in his own way, he lets those traditions take a bit bigger foothold i think. also i just wanna cry a bit about baby nate carving little pine trees and stuff on his own chest, putting shells and pucks and dog collars and other important mementos in there :(((((( ok, sorry. if this is a fic about nate growing up, which at its core it really is, then part of it is that moment we all reach as adults where we get to choose what’s important to us or what parts of our histories we want to honor and what we want to let go of, and who gets to be part of that future.

i could go on and on and on and probably point out more things every time, like that meme with the guy and the pictures and the connecting lines but. here you go, fwiw <3

#this is sooooo rambly I am sorry #also I had completely forgotten about that sid/ej fic and now i’m like 👀#could revisit that some day #anyway #please accept this for what it is #and understand why i don’t usually do these lmao #selkie fic tag #hockey rpf #replies #what is writing?#I don’t know her #patrichornkissed

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bogkeep · 1 year

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maybe it's a little bit early but i'm ready to do the Review and Reflection of my 2022!!

where the past two years were very static years for me with only subtle changes (yes there's a pandemic but i still had to go to work and it all blended together into a soup), THIS year set off the rube goldberg machine of Theo Quit His Job To Move To Sweden And Started Watchmaker School. SO YEAH i think i can make a list again >:)

- I QUIT MY HOTEL RECEPTIONIST JOB THANK FUCKING GOD!! on one hand, i've been incredibly glad to have had the income and stability, especially during a pandemic even though holy fuck i sure had to go to a public facing job during a pandemic, and there were many aspects of my job that i genuinely enjoyed, and i felt quite good at it. that said, thinking about my job now triggers a spike of anxiety through my brain, and i was planning to quit sometime already last year. all of my good and cool coworkers quit shortly before me and i had to train all the new ones (including the new manager!) and i hope i never have to work at a hotel ever again or interact with cops that much. i gave myself so many headaches trying to accomodate all the guests to the best of my very limited abilities - there's only so much i can do with old building inaccessibilities (the elevator didn't even go to the top floor) (most of the bathroom doors were not wide enough for wheelchairs) (COULDN'T WE AT LEAST BUY SOME SHOWER STOOLS?) and the lack of AC. and while my wages were livable enough, i don't think i got paid nearly enough to compromise my personal morals and ethics on a regular basis. that's capitalism for you i guess. ANYWAY GLAD TO BE OUT OF THERE

- i got into watchmaker school!!!!!! i was looking into this and preparing for it already last year, trying to figure out what to DO and where to GO, and it's a huge relief to me that i actually got in!!! a new and exciting step for whatever my future will turn out to be!! :D

- as a result i didn't only move out of my town but out of my country. for now. but now i get to live in an itty bitty garage-turned-house by myself and it's WONDERFUL. this is my first time living entirely by myself!!! i love it!!!!!! yes i will have to temporarily move out in the summers when the houseowner wants to use the space as a tourist season airbnb, but getting to be in control of my own environment is very healing and affirming to me. i spent so much of my teenage/early adult years thinking i'll never be able to handle adult life, but here i am!! thriving!!!!! i am more self sufficient and capable than i ever thought i'd be!!!

- my summer was incredibly chaotic due to all of the moving out and moving in and uncertainty of whether i'd get into school or not et cetera, BUT i did get to visit the czech republic again for the first time since december 2019. it was good to see my family and my childhood best friend again.

- i got to meet several close friends i haven't gotten to see in person for a long time. i got to spend some good quality time with friends i lived close to, as well (that i now miss so so much). i made some new friends that are very dear and important to me.

- i got really super into S & D tier this year, and my brainworms have calmed their wrigging since i've been busy with school and all these other life things, but it's such a wonderful series that i'm absolutely thrilled to have discovered. it even got me making fanfic, and it felt really good to get back into writing again!!

- i think i got a new tattoo earlier this year? so much has happened since march that it feels like a completely different year! it's also very small compared to all the tattoos i got during 2020 and 2021, but i didn't have much else going for me then. so.

- i wish i had like, anything to report regarding my gender transition, but all i've done has been like... 2? video consultations with the trans clinic? and zero progress? i don't want to think about it too hard because it makes me want to tear my hair out. I'M HANGING IN THERE

TO CONCLUDE. this year has been one of huge changes in my life!! i am thoroughly overwhelmed by it but doing my best to ride the waves!! i am being so so brave and pursuing the things i want to do!!!! every now and then things turn out Good and i have to confront the reality of Sometimes Things Are Very Good and it's a little bit like a blinding light too bright to look at directly, because i'm a little burnt out, i'm lightly toasted, and i'm taking on these big things and trying to change along with them, and it's a lot but ultimately worth it, yes? yes.

#swedenquest #other things happened too but these are the things i want to share!! <3

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quietwingsinthesky · 1 year

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I have been tagged by @sugaraddictarchangels! ^-^

Your name: I am Will. Still debating acquiring other names.

Your first fandom(s): HP, but let's not talk about that. The real shit was in the Warriors fandom. I survived wars in there. Cat wars.

Your current fandom(s): Primarily Supernatural. (It's my special interest! I do not have a choice in being here! uwu!) but also, rotating around Mass Effect, Succession, and if Cat succeeds in drawing me back in, I'm gonna end up in my Elder Scrolls phase again.

How did you first get into fandom? Well, you see, I was given far too much unrestricted access to the internet as a child. And I wanted to read Everything.

How long have you been engaging in fandom spaces? Forever? Forever. Long as I can remember, anyway, which to be fair, isn't very long.

How often do you read fanfics? Well, damn, dude, I just set one down to come answer this. (Really though, a lot. Idk I like seeing the blorbos dance. And also I'm still experiencing some burn-out from having to be autistic and in college and such so actual books... no. only blorbo.)

Top three characters from your current fandom(s):

Supernatural: Sam Winchester the most character of all time. Lucifer! Second most character of all time! and rn, Michael. but that third slot is always subject to change. Last week it was Raphael lmao.

Mass Effect: Legion. They're my favorite robot, I want their gender and their name. Tali'Zorah nar Rayya, genuinely my favorite teammate and I think she has the best plotline through all three games don't @ me. and hm. hard choice. Joker. Because he is funny. Because his relationship to Shepard is maybe my favorite out of anyone's, even the romance options. (Tiptree + "Anderson told me to take care of you" conversation in my mind always at all times...)

Succession: (okay this is cruel this is actually like asking me to pick a favorite child. but i will.) Shiv my beloved my queen i would die for her. Gerri my other beloved and queen i would also die for her. and Roman, my favorite little guy with everything in the world wrong with him.

Elder Scrolls: Martin Septim & the v specific version of Hero of Kvatch who does mantle Sheogorath, yes, both of them together, they are a set but the point is that they are separated by fate and godhood. and then also Nazeem. because he is funny. I wrote a whole fic about him.

Have you ever written fic for a fandom? YES! someone go read my silly mass effect fic i just wrote i crave attention

Have you ever drawn fanart for a fandom? Also yes. I don't post much and what I have I delete later because it's never good enough. i am. hard on my art.

Share a personal headcanon that you feel very strongly about: sam is queer of sexuality and trans of gender. end of story. (and the reason I feel strongly about this is people who claim he's 'too boring' to be queer. first of all, you're wrong, he's amazing. second of all, you don't earn queerness by being cool. you just are. fandoms stop treating queerness as a reward for some characters and being cishet as a punishment for others challenge.)

You’re trying to convince a friend to get into your current fandom(s) with you. what episode, clip, or scene are you showing them? Depends on the friend. But I stand by that if you want to infect someone with the spn brainworms, give them a copy of john's journal and watch the rot set in.

And finally, what does fandom mean to you? it's all of us sitting around a campfire sharing insane takes.

I am tagging... hm. @godsprettiestprincess, @synesindri, @archangelsammy, @herefortears, @ladyknightskye, @thnks-fr-th-samulet, and anyone else who wants in. :3

#tag game

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talenlee · 8 months

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The Man In The Memer

Hmm, is that a Michael Jackson reference too spicy to use. Not sure. Well, I’m sure my better judgment will kick in before I post this. Or maybe it won’t, because what I want to talk to about today is the idea of autoconnoisseurship.

Look you get this or you get me venting anxiety about realising that not only am I not connected to the lives of my students, but that disconnect is going to only ever get wider. My brief window of time of teaching people who share the same brainworms with me is a fleeting memory of the before lockdowns.

What a word. Look at it. It gets all French in the middle there. Double ses and suchlike. I bet if you showed me a noisseur in a D&D rulebook I’d be like oh yeah of course it’s like a lance. It’s a long word, and it’s a long word made up of other words bolted together. It’s such a wonderfully complex word, like other ones I’ve introduced you to. Do you remember autoethnography? What about hyperintertextuality? It’s a word like that, and it’s a word I get from an author called Estelle Barrett, in the book Practice as Research. Great book, love it, reading it over and over again to try and make sure I understand it hasn’t scrampled my prains or anything.

Connoisseurship is the idea of being an expert, competent, critical judge of something, and particularly, in the context of that thing’s subtle distinctions. A connoisseur isn’t a fan; they’re someone who can recognise all the distinct and varied ways in elements within the space of interest are similar and different. The connoisseur appreciates deteails, appreciates nuance. The connoisseur is by practice, an expert, because without expertise, there can be no appreciative comparison. To be a connoisseur is to have context, and appreciate context, and be able to share that context.

Connoisseurship or as the ‘pronounce it aloud’ button on merriam webster asserts, connor sir ship, is therefore the practice of being a conoisseur. It’s about putting in work to understand, catalogue and recognise these nuances and their distinctions. And autoconnoisseurship is about being able to do that in the context of your own work. To look at your own work as if it is worth being catalogued, sorted, scrutinised, recognised and considered.

Barrett, by the way, is building on ideas from Michel Foucault, notorious baldy and prison-mentioner, so this isn’t like weirdo outsider ideas.

This is hard. Connoisseurship means positioning yourself as an expert, and one capable of recognising distinctions between distinct elements. When examining one’s own work, I feel like there’s a natural flexibility. If someone compares one of my games, for example, to another, similar game, I can feel the need, for the sake of conversation, to concur, even if another person bringing up another wildly different comparison might seem equally valid. Setting aside the social grace and the natural imposition of capitalism in here (if I didn’t have to convince people to pay money for my games, would I still feel the need to couch my games in terms of appealing to people?), there’s a question about what I really mean in terms of expertise. What’s nailed down about these things, how much room and flex is there in their discussion?

I am a little sensitive about my OCs and the characters I write in fiction, for example; I can see very clear delineating lines, different kinds of scenes and narratives into which they fit, the assumptions of their world. Rafe and Tideward are both orphaned children of royal parentage with a bad dad and a gift for violence, but one of them can make his problems go away by finding the right wall to burst through and the other sulks a lot. I am thrilled by knowing from my friends that Talen Boy is its own archetype, almost its own gender (indeed, having been told that ‘this girl is a Talen boy’ at least once), but that always comes with the anxiety that I am boring my friends, that I am sharing with them creative stuff that they think could be better, more or original, that this character archetype they’ve seen before is something depriving them of something new.

In the context of connnoisseurship, though, there is an element for the connoisseur that I think this blog has built in me over time; that there is, along with the assumption of expertise, the right to be heard. A connoisseur presents expertise and that expertise is itself worthwhile in its presentation. Being interested in presenting this information is reason enough to present it. By having this expertise, I demand the elevation of the subject in which I am expert.

Which is pretty cool.

That’s not all there is to it, though. There’s a little more, which is an idea from Melissa Febos (Associate Professor at the University of Iowa), of the idea of how this autoconnoisseurship imposes on ourselves a preoccupation with your perceptions of others’ perceptions. Does this read right? Is this joke tasteful? Am I making something that presents an idea I’ve heard because it’s interesting, or am I mining others’ grief for sport? Am I being kickass, or just an ass, or am I showing my ass?

There’s this phrase Febos uses that I think about a lot, which is you have to write for the reader of best faith.

The internet has geared me to be generally confrontational over the past oh god thirty years I’ve been using it. I know I’ve gotten better about that, because in my twenties I was ferocious about looking for fights. But now I think there’s a natural impulse to pre-emptively defend ideas from people who are looking for ways to criticse it. The piss on the poor website effect.

Exile the thoughts of the person who is looking to invalidate the art you are making or it will be a brittle, sad version of what you would have done if you had imagined the loving reader who is grateful and interested in what it is you are actually trying to communicate.

(Paraphrasing Febos).

Oh and part of why I wrote this was to share this idea but also to get used to writing connoisseurship a lot by hand without just googling it and copy-pasting.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

#Academia

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thepavementsings · 2 years

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idk if someone already approached you about this but im brave enough to ask. so your thoughts about mpreg yukierre. elaborate please

I have been approached indeed about the tags of this post (? i know. hear me out) by many an anon student and scholar so than you all for that. Also shout out to @fromcainwithlove for giving me brainworms about them. This is under the cut because well. lol.

So this whole thing is set starting at the beginning of this season. And it starts off casual! Yuki and Pierre started hooking up in between Barcelona and Bahrain testing. Mostly it happens because the car is a shitbox (lol). This year is gonna be bad anyways, and they’re both in Faenza all the time for feedback meetings trying to help fix this tractor trailer of a car. Pierre nearly spun out the final day of Barcelona and if he has to watch the footage of it one more time he’s going to scream. Because it’s way too similar to 2019 when he… he wont even let himself think about it.

This time Yuki is there, and unlike Max who just gave him pitying smiles from across the table, he’s rolling his eyes at his engineer and folding up bits of paper he’s picked off the side of his notebook to toss at Pierre when he thinks he’s not looking. When the head of aero comes in to go over the footage of the testing incident with them for the 5th time this week, Pierre has to focus all his attention on evening his breathing and keeping his jaw closed. But then he hears Yuki mumbling not so quietly under his breath about how fragile last year's front wing was, and instead Pierre feels the urge to lean over and devour the smirk that’s growing across his face. Pierre corners him in the hallway towards the sim a couple of hours later. If it’s gonna be a shit year, they may as well let off some steam.

Anyways Pierre isn’t blind, he knows Yuki has a crush on him (honestly my headcanon is that by like halfway through last season Yuki stopped caring to hide it -i’m going to come to your house Pierre! Etc etc - he’s flirting!) So maybe it's not super fair of Pierre, maybe it's not the most responsible thing they could be doing, but he likes Yuki! They get along and the sex is good so it doesn’t have to be a big deal. But then *waves hands timing/logistics/science of mpreg whatever* Yuki tells him in the late spring that he’s PREGNANT.

And initially Pierre freaks out because they’re both only contracted up until this year and what is Helmut gonna say and Yuki can’t DRIVE. But Yuki tells him he’s already talked to Red Bull and they aren’t happy ofc but they don’t want a PR nightmare on their hands so they’re gonna put him on mat (pat? Lol who cares) leave right away because he can’t drive anyways and once he’s had the baby (he’s due in early January) they can talk about the future. And he tells Pierre it’s fine because he didn’t tell Red Bull Pierre's father so he doesn’t have to worry!

Which Pierre is a little mad about? He should probably be grateful to Yuki for that, but it’s his kid too and he wants to be part of all of this. And his life plan is getting thrown for about 4563543 different loops and my king of compartmentalization does not take that very well lol. But he doesn’t say anything like that to Yuki because what is he supposed to say? So instead he starts sending Yuki apartment listings in Milan for 3 bedrooms and google links of prenatal vitamins he saw off an instagram guru’s page and he’s throwing himself a little too hard into the whole dedicated father thing.

And it’s YUKI who stops him one day about a week or two after he first finds and is like… Pierre. We are not dating. It is your kid yes but just because I am pregnant does not mean you have to do all of this? Which Pierre doesn’t understand at first really because Yuki’s always joked… he thought he would want that?

And Yuki sits him down and tells him that he’s going home. For the rest of the pregnancy. Because Pierre isn’t even in Milan half the time when he’s racing and his mom wants him home and what is Yuki supposed to do in Italy? There’s nothing keeping him here. Pierre wants to say what about me but he CAN’T because Yuki’s right, they aren’t dating. And Yuki deserves to have his family around him. It’s not up to Pierre anyways.

So Pierre tells him that he wants to tell Red Bull that he’s the father. If Yuki is going to be so far away and he can’t be there to make sure everything is okay, he wants them to know. He wants to be a part of this as much as he can. Because they may not be dating, but they’re a team right? Yuki agrees. And then he goes.

Ok I'm stopping there FOR NOW but there is a WHOLE pregnancy arc to get through but I feel like this is enough for one post lol. Anyways I like to have my fun little headcanons and if I could write a) dialogue b) narration or c) literally dialogue then maybe I would actually write this but alas I can't so this is what you get from me lol. Welcome to my descent.

#I will tell you all what the TRULY deranged tags were going to be on that post though which were:#this is when Yuki is pregnant and makes Pierre do one of those birth simulator things that was going around youtube in like 2015 #Pierre 1000% is the type to have sympathy symptoms. by the third trimester he's having his own cravings #SORRY #there's literally 1500 words worth of this in my notes app rn so if you want to know more lol #yukierre #mpreg yuki #<- I cannot BELIEVE that is a tag on my blog I am SO sorry lmaoo

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helisol · 3 years

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dude im not sure you will get it after reading this either, but you Can read it now

okay so first of all do not expect me to adhere to rules of grammar or Proper capitalisation, I am writing from the heart

so it’s been said before by other people but if Quark and Odo didnt look like the aliens that they are but instead like two regular prettybois the fandom would do cartwheels over their dynamic and Not call them a crack ship. because really, their dynamic fucking SLAPS and I’m here to tell you Why.

their surface-level dynamic is “Respected and Talented Security Chief and Cunning Immoral Businessman who are in Love but pretend not to be” and that's just an off-brand version of enemies to lovers! which is excellent and for some people that’s all you really need to get invested in a ship.

but some people look at it and go “Hm, no, that’s not enough. I mean, they work as friends but it doesn’t really have to be romantic.” and to that I say you are Absolutely Valid, not everything has to be romantic.

it just so happens that these two fuckers have one of the most compelling romance stories ever, and it’d be a shame not to explore it.

so before I dive into the internalised homophobia and repression, I’d like to take a moment to talk about Quark as a character.

because if you have brainworms like me you can kind of see that its an honest to god greek tragedy.

this guy comes from a race of people where being kind, ethical and fair is considered Abnormal and Horrifying. and I’m not gonna call Quark out of all people kind, ethical or fair but,,,

you ever notice how he’s A Much Better Person Than Pretty Much All Other Ferengi?

dont get me wrong, Quark is still a bastard, but every once in a while his True Character shines through. and I say True Character because guys,,, the way he behaves around other people is an Act. he’s pretending to be something he’s not.

he has to try so hard to be a good ferengi it’s honestly painful to watch at times. because he is a SHIT ferengi!

he loves his friends- because that's what the ds9 crew are. they’re his friends! and it makes him miserable because that's not! normal! for a ferengi!

let’s compare Quark and Rom for a second.

Quark reeks of self loathing because a lot of the time he just Doesn’t act like a ferengi is supposed to, and this drives a lot of conflict in the show. he knows how a ferengi should act, it’s just that he can’t!! fucking!! do it!! but he still tries and tries to fit into that mold, which straight up ruins his life on multiple occasions.

Rom is also not a Model Ferengi, but he lives without hating himself. and it’s mostly because he doesn’t care about how a ferengi Should act, he’s loved and cared for even when everybody knows that he’s a shit ferengi! because his non-ferengi-ness works to his benefit. it encourages and highlights his abilities as an engineer. the success and love he finds make it easy for him to be content with his true self. Unlike Quark, who doesn’t get unconditional love from anyone.

its so!! tragic!! because you can see what Quark is really like!! his true self!! he’s a nice guy who cares for people!

its right there all the time and it's so blatantly obvious. especially in episodes like “Body Parts”, “Bar Association”, “The Way Of The Warrior” and “Ferengi Love Songs”

his own wiki page literally calls him “a compassionate and generous man by ferengi standards” which pretty much translates to “not really a good ferengi”.

anyway so Quark is a tragic figure or whatever but we’re actually here for the REPRESSED! HOMOSEXUAL! TENDENCIES! that he and Odo both exhibit.

with characters like garak you don’t really need to have brainrot to pick up on those tendencies, because that was something andrew robinson chose to do, on purpose.

and to be fair, Quark wasn’t intended to be Any kind of representation, not even by the actor. I’m just pointing out that he Does look and act and talk like a little gayman.

I will admit that he is Painfully Straight in the text of the show, but on a meta level he’s just. a dude who has a serious case of repressing his real personality. and taking it a step further- he also represses his feelings towards another man.

and that man is Odo.

a few things on him:

Odo is literally desperate to be a person. unlike Quark, who at least has the comfort of belonging to a society of people with a set of rules and expectations, Odo has never met anyone or anything like him in all his years of life.

like, we all know Odo basically grew up in a lab, right?

with people who didn’t know anything about him. who he was so unalike that they literally called him “Nothing”

but he still learned to look and talk and act like them (because if he didn’t he’d feel *pain* which is very fucked up by the way?)

so we know for a fact that Odo wants to be recognised as a person- which is why he tries really hard to conform to the ideals of the society that raised him. instead of exploring his nature as a shape shifter he maintains a humanoid form, picks up a job and creates an entire personality around what he wants to be seen as. but not what he really is.

and that's the thing that causes all the conflict between Quark and Odo. the type of person odo wants to be seen as is the polar opposite of whatever the fuck quark wants to be seen as.

In the same way that Quark acts like a Normal Ferengi, Odo acts like a Normal Security Officer. and in a cruel twist of fate, the Ferengi happens to be the antithesis of the Security Officer.

If you only look at them as the things they act like, and not the things they are, you might say they’re way too different to like each other, right?

but,,, if you think about the fact that they’re both putting on this act,,, this performance of idealised versions of themselves,,, you can see that they are The Same. They Are Both Gay Repressed Loser Aliens Who Try To Act Like Things That They Aren’t!

Imagine you’re Odo.

Imagine that you’re Nothing, because you’re not like anything anyone has ever seen- and because you are Nothing you don’t fall in love with anyone for years and years. since who could love something that isn’t like them at all?

But then one day this Thing shows up in your path and you just hate it. Because it’s not like anything *you* have ever seen. It’s disorderly and looks grotesque and it’s criminal to boot.

It’s all the things you learned would make a “Bad Person” It’s everything you aspire not to be, because if you were any of those things you would BE PUNISHED.

But the trouble is, eventually he’s not an “it” anymore, he’s “Quark” and you see him every day of your miserable little life because you live on the same damn station in space and it’s hard to avoid each other.

He also happens to be one of the only things in your life that are constant. He will never leave because he is stubborn and greedy and you just *hate him so much* that you’re convinced he must be doing all of it to spite you. And yet you also can’t seem to leave him alone.

So Odo Must Hate Quark. everything else is a non sequitur for him. he can’t not hate Quark.

because Quark is, and i’m sincerely sorry to apply christian fucking imagery to this, The Forbidden Fruit.

If he liked quark he’d admit some kind of moral failing. it would be the end of his act. but on the other hand...it might be a good thing, because at least he could have quark.

but Odo can never go through with biting into this apple because the consequences are horrifying to him. he could never have quark because, according to his performance, he would Never like quark to begin with.

and here’s a take for you: Odo's Brand Of Internalised Homophobia Doesn't Stem From Heteronormativity. It Stems From The Fact That He Was Kind Of Assigned Asexual At Birth.

and the show sort of alludes to this, for real! not just subtext! canon! except the writers used the wrong person.

because instead of Odo having these Forbidden Feelings for Quark he has them for,,, Kira.

but since this is My Quodo Manifesto you’ll understand that i am 100% willing to just toss that part of canon out the airlock.

so Odo does canonically have that mindset of “no one could ever love me” for decades he repressed any and all feelings of love to avoid getting hurt. in the show he breaks this cycle of repression when he takes a chance and enters a relationship with Kira. yay?

but we all know that aint it chief. and part of the reason why That Ship Ain’t It is the fact that Quark is Right There. and he is simply the more interesting choice for odo.

he and Odo literally share the same problem and have weird intertwined character arcs! they are both dreadfully afraid of not conforming to the ideal versions of themselves, so they reject everything that could challenge their Performance!

on some fucked up level they hate each other *and* themselves individually. and this hatred makes them reject parts of their real identities for the sake of protecting their image. which. yknow. in gay people. is internalised homophobia!

so you can see that they’re both repressing A Lot even if you view them as Friends, but the most important thing in this kind of romantic dynamic is usually,,, when the characters *stop* repressing.

and the thing is. the thing that Kills Me with these two. They Never Get That Moment. Thats Why You Need The Brainrot To See Them As Romantic.

The Ascent gives us an example of what happens when they both take their act too far. I mean, who could forget “Fascist!” and “Fraud!” That is what odo thinks of quark’s performance and vice versa, but we don’t really hear them adress the fact that they *are* playing these roles to a ridiculous extent.

We also never get an example of what would happen if they dropped their act instead of over-performing it. or rather we don’t get to see both of them drop it.

And the reason why we never get that moment is because there’s this one key difference between Quark and Odo.

Quark knows that he’s constantly repressing his true nature and his feelings for odo. We pretty much hear him say so in the iconic root beer scene in Way Of The Warrior. he knows that he’s not a good ferengi but he keeps up his act.

So quark is aware enough to feel that sweet sweet self loathing. But Odo isnt self loathing as much as he is just self sabotaging.

and this subtle difference between them is why, at the very end of the show, we get “That man loves me, can’t you see? It was written all over his back!”

this moment is quark dropping his act and asking odo to do the same. he wants to hear a genuine Goodbye from him because they have known each other for Decades and they are Friends. but odo is so unable to express the feelings he’s been repressing all these years. that he self sabotages again and just walks away.

even though this is like. very anticlimactic. considering I just spent 2000 words talking about how Odo and Quark are Most Certainly Gay For Each Other.

The fact that their ending is so Weird is the reason why quodo is so engaging and appealing to me? especially post-canon quodo.

like, the amount of “what if’s” this ship has are Astounding.

What if either of them had dropped their act a little sooner? What if they both did, for just a moment, and it was the straw that breaks the camels back?

What if Odo comes back after a few years? What if Quark comes to get him?

What if, in that moment in the finale where Quark drops his act, Odo had returned the gesture? What if Gag-Reel Quodo Kiss.gif Real?

with the depth that I read into their relationship, those what ifs are really fun to think about.

anyway its 1 am and i’m not an english major so literary analysis is not like, my strong suit. plus most of this was written in a late night screaming session with a friend who has the exact same opinions as me. i just think aliens hot and in love. thats all.

#the SOUND of my HEAD hitting my DESK with TERMINAL VELOCITY #quodo #star trek

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autumnslance · 3 years

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What I’ve actually been working on for a bit over a week, now that the Zenos brainworm has been evicted. Back to Stormblood 4.0 and two besties having a post-sparring chat about current crushes and past regrets. Below the cut for those who prefer Tumblr to Ao3:

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Lyse and Aeryn fell on their backs onto the palm of Rhalgr, laughing as their early morning sparring session ended in a draw.

“Maybe we got a little carried away...But you have to admit that was fun,” Lyse said, lolling her head in Aeryn’s direction. “You’re getting better at hand to hand.”

“C’oretta’s been putting me through my paces. Got to keep up with her energy,” Aeryn replied, staring at the now-blue sky, the sun high enough over the mountains to have burned away the last of the early morning colors.

“I should practice with her more then,” Lyse said. “When we’re done with...all this.” She vaguely waved her arm, before letting it flop back to her chest. She kept watching Aeryn. “So what are you going to do once we’ve saved Krile and freed Ala Mhigo?”

“Nap,” Aeryn said immediately, setting off another round of giggles from them both.

“Oh-kay, that’s fair. But after that? Or maybe before?”

“If you’re going fishing you’re going to need actual bait, Lyse.” Aeryn turned her head enough to grin at her friend.

Lyse grinned back and rolled to her side, propping up on her left elbow. “I’m just asking, if there’s anything--or anyone--you’ve been thinking about.”

Aeryn frowned for a moment, looking to the sky again. “...Not particularly.”

Lyse wrinkled her nose. “You’re a terrible liar. C’mon, Aeryn, you can say it.”

“I don’t know what you mean,” she replied, her hands briefly gesturing from the wrist only before dropping back to their resting spots on her stomach.

“Right, because you didn’t spend half our time in the Far East writing letters to and talking and thinking about certain charming rogues.”

Aeryn didn’t reply, her brows drawing down as she frowned more.

“Aer-yn.”

“What do you want, Lyse?” Aeryn sighed, turning now to mirror Lyse, propped on her right elbow.

“For you to admit whatever’s going on in your head concerning—”

“Oh don’t—”

“Thancred,” Lyse finished. At Aeryn’s wince and blush, she grinned again. “Aha-ha! I’m right, I knew it.”

“We’re friends—”

“So are you and a lot of other people, none of whom make you look like that.”

“...Like what?”

“You’re not just blushy, you’re...I dunno, like someone’s knocked the wind out of you, but in a good way. Your eyes practically glitter when you’re looking at him. Which is a lot when he’s around, by the way.”

“You’re exaggerating. Also we’ve seen Thancred for a whole, what, half a bell since we returned?”

“I know what I saw. What I’ve been seeing, every time you got a letter. Or wrote one, for that matter; you even write to him differently than you do to Rashae or anyone else.”

Aeryn rolled her eyes, but the blush had deepened and crept up her ears and down her neck. “You know I don’t--It’s not that easy--I…” she frowned again, trying to organize her thoughts, but from the thoughtful little crease between her eyes, Lyse knew Aeryn was now truly considering it.

“And you believe you messed up with Haurchefant,” Lyse said quietly. Aeryn didn’t respond. “That’s why you don’t realize what’s been happening.”

“And what, pray tell, has been happening?”

“You acting like a besotted schoolgirl, that’s what.”

“I am not.”

“Oh yes you are. And it’s adorable.”

“Take that back.”

“I shan’t,” Lyse replied in sing-song. Her smile quickly faded and it was her turn to sigh. “I didn’t want you getting involved with him when you first joined the Scions, you know,” she mused. “One, I knew you weren’t interested, and two—well, I’d known Thancred too long.” They both snorted and giggled again.

“But,” Lyse finally continued once they’d calmed. “You two have always had a rapport. You got to be pretty good friends, and I don’t know, it seems like with everything since finding me and Papalymo again, and then after Minfilia left...It’s become something else and it’s...nice.”

Aeryn didn’t answer right away, staring at some spot on the stone palm between them, and for a moment Lyse began to think she had definitely overstepped when Aeryn finally replied, very quietly, “It feels nice.” She frowned and looked at Lyse again, her grey eyes dark. “Things have changed but I don’t know that it’s,” she stopped and thought for a moment. “I don’t want to...ruin anything.”

“I have a hard time believing you could ruin anything, even if you tried.”

“You’d be surprised,” Aeryn said, rolling onto her back again. “I tried relationships when I was a girl in Thavnair. Twice. Neither worked out because...well…”

“You don’t like sex.”

Aeryn winced at Lyse’s bluntness. “It’s not that I don’t like it, it’s just...not something I look for. It’s fun in the moment, but not a priority. And for a lot of people…”

“It’s important,” Lyse said. “So you think any relationship is doomed because you don’t have the same wants as other people?”

Aeryn nodded.

“Hrm. Well, I’m no expert, but seems to me that’s one of those things you’d just have to talk about. That whole being adults...thing.” Lyse waved a hand again, gratified by Aeryn’s small smile in response. “Which you likely just weren’t experienced enough for all those years ago, right?” She paused, frowning. “Orrr, is this also about Haurchefant?”

Aeryn covered her face in her hands and made a frustrated noise. “Gods, if I could purge those rumors and stories and the damned songs about that…” She sighed again and let her hands drop to her chest. “It...was sort of like those earlier attempts. He was kind, and I knew how much he cared for me, and I guess I...tried to reciprocate. Confusing his feelings for mine, maybe? Sometimes it’s hard to tell.”

“You mean because of the Echo?” Each Walker’s Echo was a little bit different, and Aeryn’s made her especially empathic at times, Lyse knew.

Aeryn nodded. “Probably didn’t help that everything after Ul’dah was just...I was lonely, and scared, and I thought…” She shook her head. “I was stupid, and before I could apologize and fix it...Well.”

“You are far from stupid.”

“Doesn’t mean I can’t make stupid mistakes.”

“Well, sure. Still, you couldn’t have messed up that badly.” At Aeryn’s cringe, Lyse raised a brow. “Come on.”

“I did sleep with him—once.”

“Really?” Lyse rolled onto her stomach, chin propped in both her hands.

Aeryn rolled her eyes. “It wasn’t...It was a stressful day.”

“You’ll have to be more specific. Your idea of a stressful day is different from other peoples’.”

“Fair.” She grinned at Lyse. “I had to babysit Emmanellain de Fortemps.”

“All right, that does explain a lot.”

“He got himself kidnapped by the Vundu…”

“Of course he did.”

“I went ahead, while Honoroit ran back to get aid--so, Haurchefant and a couple Haillenarte knights--and that was the day we learned about Bismark, as Cid rescued us with his ever-exceptional piloting before we were eaten.”

“That is a stressful day, even by your standards.”

“We stayed the night at the Rosehouse, there in the Sea of Clouds. Haurchefant came to my room--he claimed he had some nightmare that I had gone to fight the primal and had to see if I was all right; an irrational concern--”

“I don’t know, it’s what you do.”

“Well, yes, but not--anyroad, we spoke, and...held one another; not uncommon. But I felt as though something in me just...broke, and I wanted...I don’t know. Comfort? Closeness? ...I fear I may have simply used him…”

“I doubt that,” Lyse said gently. “You cared for him, right?”

Aeryn nodded.

“Well there you go. You had a vulnerable moment like any of us mere mortals,” she ignored Aeryn’s latest eyeroll. “It happened. And given what I’ve heard of Haurchefant, it couldn’t have been that terrible.”

“It wasn’t! But...As soon as he left—had to ‘protect my reputation’ or whatever—I realized...I didn’t,” Aeryn huffed as she paused in thought again. “I loved him, but not...like that. I couldn’t give him what he wanted.”

“And what’d he say to that?”

“That’s the thing; we never got to talking about it. I...avoided him for a bit after that, just to get my own head straight, think about what I wanted to say and why...and then we went on our mission to Dravania, and then it was just one thing after another and…” Her voice cracked. She took a breath and shook her head. “I regret not taking the opportunity to be honest with him.”

“Makes sense. And I can see why you’re hesitating to open up like that again. You’re afraid what you’re feeling is a reflection of Thancred’s feelings.”

Aeryn made a face. “I wouldn’t go so far as to presume what he feels—“

“I would,” Lyse stated. She smirked at Aeryn, then shrugged. “Before I would have said this is one of his fleeting infatuations. Buuut I’ve been watching since we rejoined you all in Mor Dhona, and he’s been...different.”

“How do you mean?”

“Well if I didn’t know better, lots of what I hear about how he behaved, up ‘til about Papalymo and I got back to the Toll, sounds like he was flat jealous.”

“Of what?”

Lyse scoffed. “Of other people being interested in you, of course. Not that you notice that ever. There’ve been talks he and I have had, where I look back and realize there were multiple meanings going on and I hate that he can’t just talk plainly like a normal person, but anyway the biggest one was when we did see him briefly in Castrum Oriens before he went off to find Krile.”

“He seemed normal to me,” Aeryn said, though she was pointedly not looking at Lyse.

Lyse recalled how Thancred had turned and smiled, his shoulders lifting as if a weight had been removed from them; not unusual in anyone, really, when the Warrior of Light walked by, but something about Thancred had lit up from within, and his uncovered eye had practically devoured Aeryn head to toe before simply settling on her, like someone basking in a sunbeam in the bath. In all the time Lyse had known him, he had never looked at anyone like that. And Lyse had known Thancred through some of his earliest attempts at relationships, when the experiences and emotions were all new (and Yda had teased him so much back in those days, before Lyse herself really understood what was happening), as well as more recent ones as an adult he had no real serious interest in.

“Well, he wasn’t normal,” Lyse said, uncertain how to explain it all out loud. “Neither were you, for that matter. If you’re acting like a schoolgirl, he’s just as bad.”

“Ugh!” Aeryn sat up, wincing a little, resting her arms on her half-drawn-up knees. “I still say you’re exaggerating.” She looked away. “...And given my Echo, it’s possible just one of us reflecting off the other.”

Progress, of a sort. Lyse sat up too. “I still say I’m not, and I don’t think so. Know how I know?”

“How Lyse?” Aeryn glanced at her friend, brows drawn into a helplessly annoyed expression.

“The way you were in the East when he was nowhere around,” Lyse reminded her. “Writing him letters, and excited to get his personal reply along with the reports. You wouldn’t even realize you were mentioning him, or telling stories, and the way you sounded and looked when doing so. And I know you were thinking about him other times, too.” She smirked as Aeryn went crimson again.

“...Fine. Maybe. It’s still...weird and makes no sense and doesn’t mean anything.”

“Means a whole lot, actually. You did say earlier that it felt nice.”

“Yes but...He’s a friend, and a colleague, and he...well…” Aeryn made a helpless gesture.

“Oh no; use your words!”

Aeryn let out an exasperated noise. “I don’t want to make the same mistake again,” she blurted finally.

“So, don’t,” Lyse shrugged, chin on her hand, elbow propped on a knee. “You know what went wrong with Haurchefant, and those others when you were younger. Thancred’s a smart man, and more considerate than he lets on. You can figure it out.”

“I don’t know that I should. It may not be a good idea, given...everything.”

“‘Everything’ like what, exactly?”

“Like, that we live and work together as Scions. That we’re in the middle of a war--which, by the way, we really ought to be meeting the others--and just…everything.”

“You mean being the Warrior of Light.”

Aeryn sighed. “Gotta admit, there’s a lot of...a lot, with it. Most of it I don’t even want.”

“Or it’s all the more reason, given who else outside the Scions really knows what you do?” Lyse shrugged as she got to her feet and stretched. “Food for thought, at least.” She reached down to offer Aeryn a hand up. “I think it’s a good idea, for the record,” she said as she hauled Aeryn to her feet and into a hug. “But that may be because I want to see my friends happy.”

Aeryn returned the embrace. “Thanks, Lyse. Let’s get cleaned up and meet the others.”

She was deflecting again, but that was all right; she was at least thinking about it now. Lyse nodded in agreement. “Thanks for the practice; I know I feel better.”

They negotiated the massive stone wrist and forearm to reach the entryway back into the old temple, then down the long, twisting stairs to the base. On emerging from the old door at the literal foot of the statue, they were met by Resistance runners delivering updates on matters in the Lochs, and a request from General Aldynn to return as soon as possible now that Alisaie and the other injured were safely in the Reach.

Lyse sighed as the runners left to make their next deliveries. “Guess cleanup can wait. If we teleport to Ala Ghiri we can meet Pipin and the others there and head to Praetoria together.”

“Good thing it has to wait, since Naago’s already there,” Aeryn said, a sly smirk on her face as Lyse stumbled.

“Wha—? I don’t know what you--Since when did she okay you calling her that?”

“I’m just pointing out that you call her that. Often. And I’m thinking maybe she can help you clean up since you’re so familiar.”

“Aeryn!” Lyse gawped.

“What?” She asked, all fake sweet innocence, hands clasped behind her back as she rocked on her toes.

Lyse peered. “Maybe you do notice more than you let on,” she muttered. Then shook her head. “I’m the Commander of the Resistance now, which means Na-M’Naago is my subordinate--don’t you dare!” she threatened, wagging a finger as Aeryn bit her lip, though that did nothing to suppress her giggles. “And it...it wouldn’t be proper or professional or...or something…” Rhalgr’s sake, now Lyse was the one feeling hot and blushing; her skin must have nearly matched her dress.

Aeryn patted Lyse’s shoulder as she buried her face in her hands. “I think no one’s going to care.”

“You know what? I take it all back; you’ve obviously spent too much time with Thancred already. Any more and it’s irresponsible levels of corruption.”

Aeryn laughed. “Don’t poke if you can’t handle getting poked back, Lyse!” She wrapped her arm around Lyse’s back and gave her a quick hug. “Though I do think you two are cute and I definitely know what I’ve seen is not me projecting,” she stage-whispered, grinning.

Lyse side-eyed her, trying very hard to be grumpy. “You’re lucky you’re my best friend and I love you or I’d kick your arse so hard right now.”

“Like you didn’t half a bell ago?”

“That was a draw! I could have had you!”

“Probably!” Aeryn sang, adjusting so they were walking arm in arm as they crossed the Reach toward the aetheryte.

Lyse grumbled, but couldn’t help smiling, too. This had been a nice reprieve from everything else going on before the final push to Ala Mhigo, and hopefully saving Krile along the way.

Alphinaud joined them at the aetheryte, grinning in that cheeky way he had when he had gotten the last word in on his and Alisaie’s latest verbal spar. Just to playfully annoy him, Lyse lightly punched him in the arm while Aeryn ruffled his hair before she initiated the teleport to Ala Ghiri for all three of them, to get back to the business of the war.

Despite that, Lyse knew that at some point in all this mess she was going to have to catch and play Little Sister to their resident sneak and probably just straight up bully him into admitting what he was thinking and spur him to do something about it. These two idiots would be happy one way or another, dammit, if Lyse had her way.

And if nothing else it might distract them from Lyse’s own love life issues. One could always hope, anyroad.

#Final Fantasy XIV #Lyn Writing #Stormblood #Lyse Hext #Shippy Nonsense #Thancred Waters #Haurchefant Greystone #Thancred x Wol #Haurchefant x WoL #Aeryn Striker

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amorphousfurrysnakething · 4 years

Text

So I have a fursona now

Despite being an incorrigible furry for over a decade now, I’ve never actually managed to get a stable-ish fursona sorted out ‘cause I’m indecisive (and didn’t realise how my fluidity was interacting with that). But now I have and want to froth, so:

Name:Ráðsviðr Náttfari ("Rath") Species: Garden Tiger Moth (https://www.ukmoths.org.uk/species/arctia-caja/) NB Masculine, he/him, pan (masc preference) Appearance: A moth, he has eight limbs (four arms, two legs, two-ish wings) and is covered in a soft fuzz of fur. Lean build, but looks bulkier due to fuzziness. Red body, brown and red spotted wings. His wings have arcane text written across them and close inspection reveals that they're made up of lots of very thin pages. Job: Thaumozoologist (Lives in a pseudomodern fantasy setting)

Powers: Scrivened Wings: Has dozens of very thin wings, which when at rest or when being used as wings look like a pair of normal moth wings in shape. These wings are covered in text copied from books, to absorb text, he must read the original. The character can read any of the text on their own wings by concentrating on them, and others can read them like a book. Although he can fly with his wings, it's fairly undignified fluttering and he doesn't like going too high. Wizard: A dabbler in the arcane, he favours spells of healing and others that interact with animals and living phenomena, as well as general utility spells.

Because I can't draw and don't have the funds right now to commission a ref sheet off someone, I instead wrote some horny which I'm going to put behind a cut.

(NSFW, Contains fingering, pet play, teasing and denial, casual nudity, bondage and an unreasonably buff lion)

There's a knock at my door, and I start. I'm not expecting anyone, and I'm currently sprawled, topless, on my sofa. I cast about for a jumper, my society might not have a problem with casual nudity, but I have enough body image issues to do so. I don't manage to turn one up before the knock comes again, and its insistence calls me over to the door on instinct. I mutter a quick spell, opening a window through the thick wood, and smile as I pull the door open.

"Hiya, Marcus."

The lion grins down at me. I'm not short, but Marcus is massive. He's a head taller than me, and in contrast to my skinny build, he's broad too, and exudes easy confidence that I'm both jealous of and so very gay for.

“Hey, Rath, need to pick your brains.”

“Sure, come in.”

I try not to blush as my sometimes-boyfriend strides into the room, and it's made harder when his tail gently brushes against my stomach. He's been running, and isn't wearing much more than a pair of shorts that show off his legs as he brushes the mud off his paws. He's probably flirting with me, again.

“Can I grab a drink?”

“There should be a clean glass by the sink. What do you need?”

He tosses me another grin. “Looking for information on thaumic mutation in plants. There's a nest of something nasty up by Silver Beck and it needs clearing before some hiker stumbles into it.” he calls over his shoulder as he heads for my kitchen.

While he's busy filling a glass, I start looking for the books I'll need. My library might not be huge, but I've thus far failed to maintain anything beyond the most rudimentary organisation, and by the time Marcus comes back in I'm fluttering near the ceiling, glaring at a row of computing manuals that should be arcanobotany references. Or at least, could be, after the first three locations were, in order: empty, the 4th edition of Thaumaturgic Encylopedia, and the complete Judge Dredd collection.

“Any luck?”

“Nope.”

I descend quickly, trying to salvage some dignity by getting my feet back under me. It's...not entirely successful; moths are not known for being elegant fliers. While I'm distracted, Marcus slips behind me.

“I'm sure there's something on these wings of yours.” the husky whisper in my ears coincides with a firm rub between my shoulderblades, the leonine pads sending jittery tingles through my body. My wings flicker, the arcane text flowing across them dancing in my brain. “You remember the safeword?”

“Banana.” I'm not trying to whisper, but my breath has left me.

“Good boy.” he purrs. I can feel his arms wrapping around me, and at the corner of my eye I see the contrast of his golden fur against my red fuzz. “Now, then. Do you have what I need?” The magical text scrawled across the layers of my wings dances behind my eyes, and I nod.

“Very good boy.”

He gently guides me to my bedroom, and I have no desire to stop him, simply enjoying the feel of his muscle and fur against my body, and the hard warmth where his groin rubs against my back; the absence when he lets go is almost painful. He pulls my box of toys out from under the bed, his bent posture putting his tail and arse on full display in front of me.

“Enjoying the view?”

“Yes, sir.”

“You're hot too, you know.”

This time I do blush, and though it's barely visible through my natural colouring, Marcus' smirk tells me he sees it. The smile turns a little ironic, as he stands back up, and my vision goes dark as he wraps a blindfold across my eyes.

“Good lad, now get yourself naked while I get my reading table set up.”

I hesitate, but a squeeze to my arse that is both reassuring and warning suppresses my reservations, and as I hear him moving around I quickly strip off my clothing. Once I'm done, I suppress the urge to cover myself again, and my unpleasant brainworms are silenced by an appreciative noise from Marcus.

I know he's done when his lips meet mine, pulling me into a passionate kiss while his paws explore my body, as they've done so many times but never seem to tire of. He draws me close, his clear arousal heightening my own.

After a few minutes, he pulls away and a needy whine escapes me.

“I know, lad, but I do need that info.” His own lust is clear.

I'm guided over to the bed, and gently pushed onto it. With a firm hand, he straps me facedown and spread-eagled, at his mercy. He settles himself over me, kneeling across my lower back, the light pressure of his body delightful as he bends over, rubbing again at that spot between my shoulderblades. A brief, ecstatic spasm leaves me limp, and I can feel the leaves of my wings begin to separate out, becoming the pages of the book they are.

“Very good. Now, you know what I need.”

The text on my wings, scrawled across the eigengrau filling my eyes, runs rapidly through my brain, and the thin pages of my wings flip and blur. A cool wind brushes across my antennae until I find what is needed.

Marcus gives a pleased pet to my head, and leans back against my abdomen, and for a few minutes I am nothing. A pleasant calm of the cool and warm and dark, with a background scratch of Marcus' pen as he takes notes. Occasionally, the peace is punctuated by the soft pleasure and pressure as he turns a page.

“There we are.” He scritches the base of my antennae, and I purr without meaning to. “You're adorable. Now, I think I'm going to order us some dinner, if that's OK with you?”

“Yesss.” I'm so relaxed that I don't manage much more than a soft hiss, but Marcus knows me well.

“Well, sit tight.”

I can feel the weight shift as he gets up and leaves me alone. I know it won't be long before he comes back, but I wriggle impatiently anyway.

“Patience, lad”

Marcus punctuates his return by running his paw across my crotch, which only causes me to struggle more, whining with need.

“We've a few minutes before it arrives, so...”

He lays his erection against my arse, and I push back as far as my binds will let me, hungry for more, but Marcus knows me well, and he leaves me desperate as he takes his pleasure, rubbing his body against mine with only the briefest, but expertly chosen, touches to my most sensitive areas. His early growls turn to ragged pants as his orgasm approaches, and I grind my body against him, trying to increase his pleasure in hopes of reward, as well as an instinctive act to attenuate the sensations he's so skilfully denying me.

“Pleasse...”

“Good pets don't talk.”

His admonishment is gentle, but unyielding, though quickly unnecessary as words are lost in a pleading whimper.

“Good...good...” the intended compliment is abandoned as his climax comes, and he roars in delight, splattering his cum across my back and wings. It's a long minute before he's able to catch his breath again. “Good boy.”

I moan plaintively, feeling my own unfulfilled arousal drip out across my bed, but he just gently pats my arse and gets up, going into the bathroom to clean himself up and leaving me to stew in the frustration in a most delightful way.

He's barely done when the doorbell goes, and his brief negotiation with the deliverer ends in curry smell awakening an entirely different hunger in me. I hear him plate up the food, and he unbuckles my restraints, though he doesn't let me free, quickly binding my arms and legs doubled over, denying me my hands and forcing me to crawl to the bowl of curry he's left on the floor. Leaving me to sort myself out, he sits in a chair with his own dinner, smirking at my fumbling.

By the time I've managed to empty my bowl, he's long finished, enjoying an eyeful of my raised rear. As I rock back, licking the last of the sauce from my lips, he gets up, stalking towards me and pushing a finger into my still-wet pussy.

“You're really desperate, aren't you.”

Remembering the earlier command, I don't respond verbally, trying to fill my voice with as much desperation as I can as I whine in acknowledgement. Marcus chuckles as he adds more fingers, one by one. He knows his business, and I'm soon panting as his movements send waves of pleasure through my body. After a moment of particularly masterful attention to my clit, he bends low against me and whispers.

“Do you want to cum?”

I nod again, and with a his long experience, he quickly brings me to a shuddering, screaming orgasm, the waves of pleasure turning into a tsunami that crashes over me.

As I lie there, recovering, he strips off the bondage gear, murmuring gentle praise that ends with us both curled up in my bed.

#my writing #furry #grapefruit #m/nb #m/m #m/m smut #moth #lion #cw: insects #tw: insects #fursona

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