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#like thats what tumblr was made for!!!! interaction!!!
sea-buns · 2 months
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SO insane that Sam has seen AND liked this... I'm so cozy in my little tumblr corner that I forget my words can escape containment and be perceived beyond Aabria Iyengar
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presiding · 6 months
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just saw that there's a monster in the hull update and realized i'd missed three of those........this + the audio are such treats giggling and kicking my feet about it fr. going to leave a comment on the fic itself but in the meantime needed to drop a letter on here to say i love the way you write billie--her loneliness, her thoughtfulness, distrust of yet attraction to emily and everything she represents........not to mention the way she's haunted by daud, the longing for a life she can't fathom and will never have !!! society if everyone gave billie the complexity she deserves. and your banter and prose are stunning as always lord everything abt this fic is so good. bringing wine to you on the deck to drink together about it in spirit and yes pun intended
🙏😭 thank you so so much I don't know what to say! that's amazingly kind of you ♥ its a genuine pleasure to like. double down on themes and nuance and less popular characters and just like. idk. trustfall into the fandom that there's people with taste like you, and you can invite them onto your metaphorical deck for wine and meaningful looks 🍷♥♥♥
re: billie - no one else in the dh universe comes close to whatever she has going on
hiding my thoughts about writing dh2 billie >
there's so much material to her!
i thought i'd never write for dishonored 2 (not derogatory - its my favourite game). its undoubtedly linear & doesn't have the mystery or grit of dh1 IMO.
but i saw lapin post that billie & emily comic, and i saw a few other people i respect mention billie/emily and it had me rotating them until the abjection/emily-monster thing clicked and then it was downhill from there
but there's more to think about - what billie has been doing with herself, how she feels about daud & the whalers at this point in her life, her relationship with sokolov (god.a separate rant), her history in karnaca & dunwall, emily's place in the empire and how that fits into billie's story, her lifelong revenge arc, and comparisons between jessamine & deirdre.
like. when you consider billie's perspective you realise how fucking badass she is for going back to dunwall. she not only did it scared she did it scared for her life. suicidal level flimsy disguise trapped in a tin can with your enemy. etc
PLEASE tell me if you ever decide to post that daud & billie fic you mentioned a while back :O
#asks#corpseprince my beloved <333#thinkin bout your one-day fic. daud and billie are SO difficult to write#not simply father daughter but like. the suicide pact vibes they have and the all consuming nature of dauds bonds#and there's a strong running tension between them#not to mention neither being the type for feelings#the more 'dishonored fandom friendly' fics im working on i've deprioritised recently#yuri on the way <3 there was a deficit anyway!#mostly excited for brigmore smut#if i may bitch on your lovely post (sorry). if you cbf with that stop reading here#idk. it keeps happening#so i post a chapter. maybe get 2 kudos that week#which is nice and i smile every time im stoked to see readers around#but then one or two days later some unpleasant fucko on tumblr has taken one of the ideas i put in the new chapter of my fic#and turned that into a low quality textpost like it was their idea. it gets a heap of notes#and its always a *highly specific* idea after i posted it. and i know what the fandom is talking about broadly so it sticks out#i dont mind at all when its like mutuals or people who have commented or talked to me then its more like 🤝#like. someone who doesnt appear to have ever interacted with me or the fic#im not trying to flatter myself by saying theres no chance its a coincidence. but its offputting as hell#backhanded signal of success? bestie thats my meta post but you made it worse <3#so my focus rn is niche-r stuff for smart cool people with taste#THE RAMBLING. *tops up your wineglass if you made it this far*
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getreadytosmash · 4 months
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Sometimes there's just lids on things u don't wanna open
#the queen of smash (mun)#idk its dumb and stupid but ever since i've been playing more visual dating sims#i just get these days where i feel like....nothing????#like. not a girl just a body this compile of personhood#and like idk maybe its cause visual sims lets you have so much cleaner interaction with selfhood and gender#compared to irl where i live in a country where HRT is smth thats difficult to comeby so overall ALL of it feels messy#demigirl works out fine enough for me but idk i just. somedays i feel LESS like a girl and more. nothing#i dont fully like it because it just feels like im faking it?? jumping on a bandwagon???#almost half of the friends i've made or have on tumblr pretty much went down a pipeline of afab to they/them to he/him or he/they#with more masc learning and terms#and idk if i'd go THAT far??? I don't mind being called he/him but it's not my full go to i don't think???#but idk it feels. selfish. like im pretending. idk if i like the idea of being they/them ALL the time i like she/her enough#im just. (huffsssss) my parents have always been open that they expected me to become a dyke lesbian or trans because i was a big tomboy#so maybe a part of me feels like i'm playing into these expectations and i feel so sick at the idea. even tho ANYthing of my pronouns.#would stay online#idk idk i guess after being always she/her i'm...vaguely curious to see how i feel with they/them but again. pretender stuff.#maybe i don't feel it properly like everyone else does#im just this sack of flesh filled with nothing good but what others have#i don't FEEL enby enough to be one#but idk if demigirl fully suits me AS much now#oughhhhhhhhhhhhh
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waybrightgender · 9 months
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google how to get someone to stop reading about crypto and using degenerate
#jesus christ. i tried to move them over to tumblr to get them off reddit but they just go back to the tumblr subreddit every time.#if i tell them to do something they do it but then they put a new and fascinating /neg spin on it#like i told them to follow more ppl on here and they followed about 50 ppl that seemingly never post and i told them to make their cute#little project a sideblog so they can rb stuff but they made it their main and cant rb anything now#i tell them to be vague about the details of homestuck so that their mom doesnt stop trusting me and they decide its a better idea to keep#calling it a cringey bad old webcomic that i really love because i have bad taste#i tell them to stop using degenarate because its a nazi dogwhistle but they decide thats just stupid i guess and keep using it#i think theyre gonna become a crypto bro they have like 5 books about it#they've been on reddit since they were like 10 i dont think i can get them out of there but they should at least go on better subreddits#instead of r/iam14andthisisdeep and r/tumblr and r/whitepeopletwitter and r/nonpoliticaltwitter and who knows what else#its especially the r/tumblr part that i dont get. because they literally have a tumblr account#if theres a specific user that you see making posts you like on the subreddit go follow them! scroll thru tags of things you like and follo#all the blogs! be annoying and put out a post asking for mutuals tagged with fandoms you like!#oh and they rlly like r/nosleep i wish i could get them to go on the creepypasta wiki instead because at least thatll give them some shared#references with the wider internet and ppl their age. their mom has literally no pop culture references whatsoever so im trying to help the#but its honestly really hard when they dont do what i tell them to do. jesus i sound awful dont i#real sasha waybright moment. “you are going to follow 100 more blogs and turn off algorithm stuff now. end of discussion.”#it's not like they have a community and friends on reddit they dont even have an account theyve been lurking for years#they dont even have the app they use the mobile website. ugh im being so bitchy rn ill just shut up#maybw if yall see that this is how i think then youll realize that im not exactly worth interacting with#sorry for spiraling on ya. im pmsing.#and i have a whole disorder about that so
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rotturn · 1 year
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once i come back from my trip i think... there's gonna be some big changes
#theres a Lot of mutuals ive been trying to interact w who ignore me and a fair few I've stayed mutuals w#just bc it feels like i have to#and it has made tumblr feel. very lonely#i know this time of year just gets like that#but like. theres people who i used to be close to and talk to a lot who i can not get a reply from ic or ooc these days#and like people move on thats fine its just. idk it sucks#and i know im guilty of being slow sometimes and messages sometimes get missed if im overwhelmed but#i try very very hard to at least reply sometimes or acknowledge peoples posts/existence#but it only feels like 3 or 4 people actually want me here or want to talk to me#idk i love rping and i love being here but this is a collaborative hobby and it feels very much like everyones got people except me#the two people that i talk to every day mean the world to me i love u guys#but outside of those 2 and like 3 other people who like my posts i just feel. like im only a number in peoples follower counts#maybe come the end of jan people will be back online more and I'll feel better but idk#i just try so hard to be here all the time and have completely fucked my sleep schedule on Many occasions#just to hang out and talk w people and i throw my all into trying to be here and have friends and be interesting#and i guess im just. not? and it sucks but it is what it is i guese#i just wish that this wasnt such a lonely place bc im so tired of deleting a bunch of posts constantly bc they get no notes#and it makes me feel like my blog looks messy and bad for anyone new whos looking#i just constantly feel like i have to apologize for existing here and its not fair thats not what this is meant to be#i miss having friends here. people used to like me and im not sure what changed
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What do you see in her when she treats you like such shit? What makes her so great you’re willing to risk everything else when she will never give you anything back?
I'd give her my kidney
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hi mutuals (who i interact with) since i suck at being on here and discord if you guys have snapchat and feel comfortable with it message me your thingy because im actually on there and like post on my story and shit
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friendlifyre · 2 days
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i dont rp anymore, or really play genshin, but i just want you to know every so often i'll see diluc and think about yours and i hope that you're still doing well and having fun, bc even now remembering pieces of your writing has brought me joy and i hope that you still have that feeling as well, even if its for a new muse now!! as always, i hope ur having a nice day. ♥
oughhhhh thank you for taking the time to send me such a sweet note 🥺 unfortunately yeah i can say with certainty that my diluc brainrot has passed now, but he will always hold that special place in my heart and im really glad to know the fond memories i have with him as my muse are shared by someone else in some way ! i dont really rp anymore either and my commitment to genshin has also significantly decreased these last few months jsdfhdsh but its more sweet than bitter at this point it just means life goes on and we find different - and hopefully better - things to enjoy and sink our time into. i do very much think back on those days fondly though, and i dont think thats going to change 🤍
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jvzebel-x · 7 months
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🦋
#the pros of caving&opening my pro email for the first time in waaaaay too fucking long:#nice messages from nice clients that had no other way to contact me wishing me well. nice prince fan who paid for#topical pics on princes birthday one year for example lmao. another one who paid for these icarus themed#shots that are still some of my fave lmao. i have nice interactions sometimes.#the cons of opening my pro email for the first time in waaaay too long bc i was specifically avoiding it bc i had a feeling this had#already happened: two v specific ppl found it&now theres no way i can trust any emails i get there lmao.#seriously debating just not making another one lmao i do not NEED repeat clientele on that level right now.#but it does make the work siginifantly safer. idk..#annooooooyedddddddd w myselfffffff i have bad interactions too&those ones seem way more frequent#&last way fucking longer i am losing track of the fucking idiots i need to remember to hide from its been years leave me alone#i am going to fucking scream i have genres of morons to flip thru if any of you fucks are reading this right now know i hate#you. neither of the two who found that email know about my tumblr tho i think so its like a moot point lmao.#im pretty sure one did get my ig nuked tho thats what the email made it sound like#so i guess that answers that question lmao.#BLAH i am going to get v high&scream into a pillow now anyway good morning everyone#i cant tell if my meds are being disrupted by my moods or if this is just what having a personality is lmao#&i regret literally nothing in my life but some ppl make it pretty damn close when i think about whether or not i would go back&#instead of speaking to them at all perhaps walk directly into traffic lmao. but y'know.#... just girly things?
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punkitt-is-here · 10 months
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Frequently Asked Questions!
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Heyo! I get a TON of asks each day, so I'm making this post so that folks know what's already been asked so my followers don't have to see the same stuff over and over, haha.
Hi! I'm Punkitt! I'm a game developer, artist, editor, director, and a bunch of other stuff! I'm working on an RPG called Astral Guard, a platformer called Susan Taxpayer, and I have a couple more fun projects in my pocket like Happup and Super Mario Death Row.
Why do you have so many hats? Do you know you have that many hats?
ye i like hats. :) free tumblr badges for one pea i like one piece and took as many as i could. free.
Where can I find your art/game development/horsecomix?
Great question! Everything I make that's my own and not a reblog is under "my posts", every bit of art I do is under "my art", any game development I do is under "gamedev", you can find all my MLP art under "mlp, my art" or "horsecomix" for the best stuff. I also have an "animations" tag and a "shitposts" tab. I also properly tag all my asks to be asks and write out the asker's name, so if you don't wanna see those just mute the ask tag.
Do you have a Patreon or a Ko-Fi?
I do have a ko-fi here! I also JUST launched a Patreon, which you can find here :)
What do you use for your art?
I use FireAlpaca and Paint.net for misc. effects!
What are you using to make your games?
I use FireAlpaca do make my assets! Astral Guard, Happup, and any other top-down RPG games I make are all made in RPGMaker 2003. Susan Taxpayer is made in SMBX2 Beta 4, a Mario fangame engine with lua support!
Why are you using a 2-decade-plus engine to make games?
It's fun!
Do you have a sideblog or something for your art?
Not right now! What you see is what you get. I do have a sideblog for Astral Guard though, if you want to follow that game specifically! @astral-guard
Can I make an OC based on your work? ABSOLUTELY!!!!!!! THATS THE COOLEST THING EVER!!!! LET ME KNOW IF YOU DO!!!! I WANNA SEE!!!!
Can I do dubs/redraws of your comics? As long as you credit me! I get a ton of notifs each day, so if you wanna show me (and PLEASE i so do wanna see fun dubs and redraws!!!) tag me or DM me!
Can I use your art as a PFP? Sure! Just credit me somewhere. :D
Are you the one who trapped her coworkers in a room and made them listen to TF2 lore?
Yep! Everyone had a blast actually. :]
Did you make that comic where Fluttershy eats the weed brownie/Rainbow Dash has a male living space/someone has a cutie mark that says they'll kill Ronald Reagan?
Yep! That's me.
Where are you in MLP right now?
Currently just finished Season 7! Haven't watched the movie yet.
Have you watched Equestria Girls?
Yep! Thought it was super cute. I watched up to Rainbow Rocks and plan on watching more.
What's your opinion on MLP so far?
I love it! I think it's cute. I really don't agree that there was some sort of huge quality drop after season 2 or whatever.
What do you think of G5?
Not my style! I don't really like either animation types and it just seems like I'm not in the audience anymore. That's totally chill, but it just doesn't grab me!
Have you watched any other MLP stuff from previous generations?
Nope! But I did see a compilation called Minty Being Autistic for Six Minutes Straight that I loved. she's perfect.
Favorite pony?
Don't got one, I love all the Mane Six a LOT, but I'm particularly fond of Fluttershy, Applejack, and Rarity!
Favorite episode/season?
I'm so bad at picking favorites! But any season past Season 1 I have a blast with because I feel like it's just more my style. I don't have a favorite episode, but the most recent one I can remember LOVING is the one where Starlight bottles up her emotions because it was REALLY funny.
Do you like Pony.mov?
Nope! And stop saying my stuff reminds you of it, it's a lil annoying!
Have you watched the Mentally Advanced Series/Friendship is Witchcraft/Other fandom vids?
Probably not! My interaction with the MLP fandom prior to last year was pretty minimal, so I'm making my way through the show first!
What do you think of Fallout: Equestria?
I think it's super weird but really fun because of that. I've never properly read any of it but it's very fascinating to me.
Are you transgender?
Yep! I go by she/her, I'm a trans woman. Have been for many years, but I only recently came out online!
Are you a lesbian?
Nah, I'm bisexual!
Can I commission you?
Yeah! I only have my commissions available on my Ko-Fi at certain times though, so keep an eye out! I usually announce slots being open at least 12 hours beforehand. Slots are usually first come first serve, but we'll see.
Can I use your art as a Discord emote?
Yeah man i'm not scouring every discord on the planet to find stickers of my work. i think it owns if people take my stuff and make it stupid injoke emotes between friends that makes me very happy.
Can I send you an ask inquiring about gender dysphoria?
I feel like this is beyond my capabilities of advice! I'm actually very comfortable with my body and I have been for many years, so I don't know if I can give any good or helpful advice on that front. Apologies, but there are many resources out there where you can ask about those things if you look for them, like Discord channels!
Favorite Color?
I'm a sucker for blue!
Favorite coffee?
Can't drink coffee, my stomach is cringe.
Favorite tea?
I'm lame and can't drink most tea but I love this one orange-flavored tea a lot. I also LOVE ice tea.
Can I say you're horsegender/punkittgender/a little gender goblin void thing?
Well, I can't stop you, but I'm kind of beyond that phase now! I really am a boring ol' plain she/her girl, and I like it that way. It's not much, but it's honest gender.
What's your favorite game series?
Mother, Kingdom Hearts, Mario, and I USED to say Fallout, but I found out I'm really only a big Fallout New Vegas fan.
Favorite game from those?
Mother 3 is one of my fave games of all time! I love KHII, and I'm tied for SMB3 and SMW. Also Fallout New Vegas fucks hard.
Any other favs?
Bug Fables, SLARPG, and TF2!
Favorite Movie?
Everything Everywhere All At Once, no question.
Oh, are you going to college?
Yep! I'm a film/theater major.
Do you have a YouTube channel?
Yeah! Click right here for it, I stream there and upload footage of my games/animations/my film projects + other stuff.
What is that little orange creature I see?
That's bweenop, my little persona that I use when I'm feeling a little scrunkly.
Do you have a ponysona?
Yep! Her name is Star Magnolia, you can search her on the blog to see art of her.
When will Susan Taxpayer/Astral Guard/etc. be out?
No clue! I take things slow, that's just how I am.
How do you work on so many things at once?
I make small, satisfying amounts of progress! I never try to complete one giant thing all at once, I just like doing small bursts of fun stuff. I got ADHD, so I learn to work with it.
Did you know you look like Weird Al?
Im going to run you over with a clown car watch out
WHY do you work on so many things at once?
Fun! I like learning, I like making cool stuff, and I like showing it to people :)
Do you need any help with your projects?
Potentially! I'll probably put out a post asking for help if I need it.
If you could be a horse, would you?
You kidding me? Several ton beasts with the frailty of a sickly Victorian boy; my clumsy ass would never survive.
Are you some sort of...furry?
yeag
Why do you reblog so much?
Brother I LOVE posting. that's just how it is.
Fav music artists?
It changes literally ALL the time but I will recommend ANYTHING by Vylet Pony, its music is incredible and probably the reason I'm a weird niche microcelebrity now.
Why are you like this?
theater kid + having a lot of fun on the internet makes you a bit silly hehe hoo
SUSAN TAXPAYER QUESTIONS
Is it out? Not yet! But hopefully sometime in the next year. I dunno! I take things at my own pace and keep stuff fun. :)
What are you using to make it? SMBX2! It's a free fangame engine for Mario episodes, but it's incredibly versatile and has a wonderful community, so I decided to make Susan Taxpayer in it.
Is there a demo? You betcha! You can find it right here. I'll also probably put it up on my itch.io.
How do I install it? I made a post here about how to run the SAGE '23 demo!
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pachimation · 6 months
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redrawing my very first chiscara comic/art i ever did for chscr day!!
old comic under the cut!!
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lol a bunch of sappy semi serious stuff below bc i cant help but be a bit genuine about this ship today :’3
i cant possibly put into words how important this silly little ship and its community mean to me haha,,,, this comic was made in 2021 but i didnt really get serious about chscr until late 2022 after a bunch of pretty bad interpersonal stuff happened and i needed an outlet,, COINCIDENTALLY a certain someone was announced to be playable around then and i was already thought chscr was Pretty Neat™️ so i ended up diving headfirst into the ship. it also gave me a good excuse to work on more comics too!! i’d done a pretty big zhongven comic earlier that year in the summer, but in terms of lore there was only so much i could have worked with at the moment.
childe and scaramouche have that perfect combination of silliness and angst and violence that could be explored or expanded in so many ways and i love love love seeing other people’s interpretations of their dynamic and relationship. they’re so complex,,,,they’re narrative foils,,,they’re narrative parallels,,,they’re trans allegories,,,they’re flies in the spiderweb of the games lore,,,they’re my stupid little meow meows,,, they’re just two losers i want to see make out,,,
in a nutshell, they’re everything to me. well, i hope i get that kind of sentiment across in my own comics,,,,
and i cant get started on all the people ive met through chiscara or the way that having something i can call “my thing”, as in, the thing that i like and that i will spend a lot of time and effort (and money, but lets not talk about that) to surround myself with because it makes me smile. its stupid to say, but being a nerd about these two stupid guys who have never had a single canon onscreen interaction in some random game has made me a much happier and confident person that i could have ever imagined back in my freshman year of college,,, when i say i dont know who i’d be if i hadnt gotten into chiscara, i really do mean it lol
i’m actually surprised i’m making it to over a full year of regular-ishly making art, especially for the same game and ship! thats never happened before and my art has improved so much over this past year!! more than anything else, i’m happy! i get to be excited talking about these characters with my friends and i love to see art of them pop up on the tl. i make stickers of them and decorate my phonecase with them and have little figures of them in my room that i look at when im up late at night working on schoolwork. sometimes just the thought of finishing a comic or daydreaming about a scenario or seeing what my mutuals are up to are some of the few things getting me through a tough day.
,,,,so believe me when i say, to both childe and scara and to everyone else as obsessed with these pathic losers as i am, thank you! i’m having a lot of fun!!!
(also i just found out tumblrs copy/paste doesnt work on my ipad??? idk if this ends up legible i may or may not have deleted smth by accident and im not in a mood to proofread haha)
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darubyprincx · 5 months
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if tumblr existed in empires s1 then the dashboard would look a little bit like this i think
🏜️ cactus-abolitionist
MY CAT JUST RAN OUTSIDE IN THE MIDDLE OF A SANDSTORM IM
🌿 theres-no-place-like-gnome Follow
oh no are they okay?? i don't know how serious sandstorms are but maybe you could go after them?
🏜️ cactus-abolitionist
Sand blowing past you at upwards of 75kmh. It's also really hot sand. It's been known to literally strip the flesh off of bones wait post cancelled my cat just walked back in she's fine guys
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🏺 clay-the-dirt-man Follow
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visiting the Mythlands today and me and my family found a neat lil natural floating island while hiking
🏺 clay-the-dirt-man Follow
to the people in my notes going "what the fuck": have y'all never heard of physics?
🥀 remorse-is-remorse-of-course Follow
OP WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU LIVE WHERE THIS IS NORMAL
🏺 clay-the-dirt-man Follow
western mezalea?? lol
🔧 verylostmechanic Follow
well that explains a lot.
🏺 clay-the-dirt-man Follow
Can I Help You
🔧 verylostmechanic Follow
ain't emperor joel dating a fish
🏺 clay-the-dirt-man Follow
yeah, they're married. Isn't Emperor Joey a demonfucker????
#dude why are the notes arguing over the ethics of being ruled by a demon 😭 what the fuck #op im so sorry
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🌸 prismarined Follow
...i'm in this class thats being taught by the headmaster today and she smells like weed. i'm not gonna say anything but like. what
🦦 i-like-otters
yeah the academy's just like that. as long as she's not like, actively dying or anything she's probably fine??? idk o7
#reblog
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⌛️ thelittlesandthatcan Follow
I JUST GOT BACK FROM A BUSINESS TRIP WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN THE COPPER KING'S GONE
🐟 kelpieselkie Follow
I DONT KNOW I DONT LIVE THERE BUT apparently nobody expected it either?? like some people are saying it was the Dragon Fight that did it (i know Emperor Joey came out with statements that Emperor Riffs actually helped kill the dragon and unleash the demon but its been two days and we all know that he hates that guy so idk) but nobody actually knows anything. it's crazy bro
⌛️ thelittlesandthatcan Follow
my mom said the royal housekeepers found a note from him alongside like everything he owned but they're not saying what's on the note yet. holy shit
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🐠 fishfucker997
this will definitely have an impact on the local trout population
🏰 all-the-kings-hen Follow
the Guardian of the Thirteenth Empire just died and you're worried about fish???? be for real omg
🐠 fishfucker997
have you people never heard of references in your life
🏰 all-the-kings-hen Follow
why are you interacting with me i literally have "codlanders dni" in my bio
🐠 fishfucker997
my brother in cod you literally reblogged this from me??
🐠 fishfucker997
they blocked me lmao
#how is this post only 2 days old
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🐪 camel Follow
she dragon fight on my copper king til i disappear
elvfish-deactivated-20210503
who the hell let a camel onto this site lol
🐪 camel Follow
You will die at age 87 with nobody to mourn you and no stars still shining to watch you go.
#911 i just witnessed a murder
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🌻 helantheia
anyone know who made emperor pearl's dress? it's really pretty :0
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📷 desertphotography
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West of the River of Plenty, Pixandria
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echoes-of-mia · 3 months
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okay this is a long ramble and kinda personal, so bear with me, but i want to talk about being aspec in the joker out fandom bc I'm full of emotions and i need to share them somewhere
(just a short warning for internalised aphobia before i go on)
for context, i identify as aspec, more specifically asexual and some flavour of aromantic. I've known about the ace part for about 3-4 years now, the aro part is more recent and I'd say that before, lets say, a couple of months ago, I'd always seen that as something negative, something that makes me miserable, a deficit that will always be there and that others will never understand
and then i joined the (tumblr) joker out fandom around... june of last year, probably? and at first i thought "theres no way there are many queer people in this fandom, its essentially a boyband, and other aspec people? no way"
well, oh boy was i wrong
because not only is this fandom, like what, 90% queer? (i know someone made a poll at some point but i dont remember the percentages) but it's also around 50% aspec. and there's just this general positivity and support surrounding the a-spectrum in the fandom. like, some days ago there was an aphobic comment somewhere and before i even saw it my dash was FLOODED with people defending aspec people and i was just sitting in the kitchen reading through the posts and crying.
and yes, this is tumblr, i could have seen this coming and it's probably different on other platforms, but so many aspec people in one place, in one fandom, is still something that I've never experienced before.
so why are so many aspec people drawn to a slovenian indie/shagadelic rock band that, at first glance, is just 5 very good-looking probably-straight guys making music? that doesnt really make sense, right?
and then you see how much more they are. how they interact with each other. how comfortable they are in their sexualities, in their masculinity, in being themselves. you see a group of friends that love each other so unashamedly it's a bit unbearable to watch sometimes. you don't see them holding back because "thats not their partner!" or "that's reserved for romantic relationships!", you just see love. you see them supporting each other, being physically affectionate, looking out for each other, laughing together, even living together. vse kar vem could easily be a romantic song, but it's about their friendship!!
and what is all of that, if not THE dream of many aspec people? to be okay with not feeling sexual or romantic attraction because you have your group of friends that you love the same amount as allosexual/-romantic people love their partner(s) and to show it, and to know that they love you the same (and won't replace you with romantic partners) because they also show it, without thinking twice about it, without thinking about how others might interpret your relationship because it just doesn't matter as long as you love each other.
so of course aspec people see themselves in joker out. we see hope for ourselves in them, we are probably a little (or in my case very) jealous of their friendship, we want what they have or we just love to finally see real people live with the sort of affection we would like to have. (just to clarify, this is based mostly on what i feel, so other aspecs might feel completely different about this, idk why I'm trying to generalise this)
and this is about all five of them, but to take jan and nace as an obvious example: they love each other so much that the fans start to speculate, and they know about it. but instead of hiding their affection, they just keep on doing what they're doing. because they know how they feel for each other, and it's no one else's business, and they won't be stopping their love just because of "conspiracy theories". and to me it doesn't matter how they love each other (platonic, romantic, whatever), it matters that they do and that you can't help but notice it, because they show it in every interaction we see of them. the damon baker photoshoot just confirmed that, they look at each other and the amount of love makes me cry, it's so incredibly beautiful.
(just some other things i want to mention: them probably cooking mostly potatoes because nace is glutenfree. nace calming down bojan after his panic attack in summer. jan and bojan casually kissing on the lips during a concert. the jure and bojan getting married photoshoot. bojan touching kris's hair during concerts. kris being carried around during a photoshooting. jure and jan drawing a heart together. them gathering around jure's drumset during concerts. i could go on but for my sanity and yours i won't, there are so many moments that just make me soft)
I'd love to be more physically affectionate with my friends, but every time there's this voice in the back of my head saying what society has conditioned it to say, which is that that kind of affection is reserved for romantic relationships, and this voice stops me every time. i feel like bojan, jan, jure, kris and nace either don't have that voice (anymore?) or they've just managed to ignore it, they don't hold back and i admire that as much as i wish i could be like that.
and while i still have a long way to go until i can be affectionate with my friends without worrying about it or holding myself back, joker out have shown me that it's possible, because of them i finally have days on which i think that i can be aspec and actually happy about it. being aspec finally feels as freeing as it should feel and I'm just grateful
joker out has allowed so much queer joy into my life without intending to and although i don't think anyone i know irl will ever understand this, i hope that some of you can relate to this in some way.
I've said this a lot during the past two weeks but i can never say it enough: all the love to my fellow aspecs, and also to all the non-aspec people who support us <3
feel free to add to this if you want to; my dms are always open if you want to talk about it without posting about it, i love hearing other people's thoughts about stuff like this ^^
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electraslight · 2 months
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fave bevin headcanons ??? ik u probably have answered this and dgaf but I love them and love hearing ur ideas and opinions they're always so great ☹️❤️‍🔥( im a lurker so I apologize for the lack of interaction !!!!! )
hiii taking a break in my no tumblr run to prosteleytize abt bevin, here are some loose headcannons
-kevin had a running joke going for a bit where he would not let ben out of the car until he gave him a kiss on the cheek aka Kiss Tax especially when people who weren't ben gwen and kevin were also in the car. he thinks the way ben gets mad about it is very funny, but it kind of backfires on him because ben stops getting mad and just does it and now every time he drives ben somewhere he gets a kiss. hes considering making the ride tax something more embarassing, like kissing with tongue.
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-kevin sleeps with such a wide berth that he will somehow be on top of someone during any nap, even if the person is sitting feet away. the only one who's ok with being snored and drooled on is ben, because he is constantly cold and appreciates a bro snuggle
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-ben and kevin do that scoobly do shit when theyre scared (a la jumping into each others arms n high pitched screaming)
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-u may at this point be like 'hey these aren't bevin headcannons this is just them doing mildly gay best friend stuff' and to this i raise u this: i feel like, if ben and kevin were to ever aknowlege their feelings for each other, they wouldn't be the type of ppl to 'date'. theyre kind of beyond dating at this point, arent they? their relationship isnt really defined by human terms, as theyre both distanced from a lot of human social norms (kind of teetering on the brink of human and alien) and also theyve been through so much shit it would be weird to suddenly go through the human rituals of 'hold hands and go to resturants and introduce him to the parents blah blah blah'. they're more than that, and the way they go about being in love is kind of the same way they're friends, still joined at the hip and ragging on each other, still getting into fights and willing to kill and die for each other. its like being best friends and being 30 year married people at once. theyre sure theres some alien word for it, but they dont really care. ben is kevins and kevin is bens, and thats how they roll. and they make out with tongue. duh.
(clarifying for ppl w no reading comprehension: they are in gay homo love but they dont put labels like 'boyfriend' or 'dating' on it bc once youve held another boys hand and made the choice to destroy your body to save him twice + your lover learned what it meant to be a hero from u and you are a symbol of hope for him and he is for u you cant really just be like 'heres my bae' now can you. relationship anarchy win.)
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dilfhos · 7 months
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sooo this is gonna be a messy rant on the observations ive made between different writer communities, blog interactions and overall “status”. just silly little things I’ve noticed in my 4+ years being on tumblr btwn 2 diff blogs. and this is about no one specific, a very generalized post so if you find urself offended i honestly dont know what to tell you?? :o do better ig. & if you relate, i feel for you. TLDR @/end.
i dont like interacting/ building connections with people but not for the reasons ppl think. im not stuck up or pretentious or weird or anything. just another anime-enjoyer who loves to write in her free time. nobody special by a longshot!! i enjoy writing, always have since before i was a teen. (wasn’t always ff tho!).
but over the years ive just noticed fandom writing has its gritty sides that no one talks about often and its no mystery why so many prolific/ popular writers deactivated, me included. i had some shitty experiences and have seen friends go bc of it.
firstly, I’ve noticed, once you start interacting and building friendships with people, it’s easier to see the bigger perspective of where ppl stand and the blatant hierarchy of friendships and groups. same applies to that outside. like its literally just me n’ my bsf then my acquaintances bc mfs be weirddd omg its like cults or something. like thats why initially I didn’t interact w/anyone starting on my new blog. that n’ fear of drama following from my last blog ugh. ‘Cept the few i’ve met on my old blog (like my wifey)
not to mention i have bad anxiety. and sometimes im cue-deaf. i dont always pick up what people put down and vice versa and it makes me conscious in a lot of my interactions. so a part of me doesn’t want to interact at all to avoid all awkwardness and possible miscommunications. that’s not to say i don’t notice subtle changes in interactions after one situation / conversation or so forth, that in myself or witnessed between other ppl. (im perceptive, just not that good conversationalist lol. like i really have to try.)
but then…if you don’t interact with people on here, your chances of building an audience or a reader base is slim to none. the likelihood of developing relationships is zip. because you’re already perceived and pegged as just another tumblr writer. pause. to clarify, a writer who doesn’t want any recognition or interactions from mutuals or new friends. or just a lonely writer? a introverted, lonely writer. which leads to little to none interactions (anons, reblogs, moots —exposure.)
so then its like you’re kinda placed btwn a rock n a hard place. and there’s absolutely no problem with that! in fact this is the best part—meeting friends and like-minded people! people that make being online all the more worth it right? thirsting over fictional characters and sharing in each other’s works!
but you have to be in specific circles it seems. but then you can’t imply that you want to be in those circles bc then you’re desperate.
but well, then you cant purposefully want to be independent or be on your own or else you’re a hater, hypocrite or stuck up. not to mention, no one will reblog your stuff lol. no one will interact fr, and you’re friendless essentially. and god forbid if you disagree on something as if opinions don’t exist btw! then you’re being ganged up on. (like omg grow up!)
but then if you reach out you’re seen as trying to wedge in or kiss ass? you interact and follow and you’re ignored or left hanging? (bc im gonna touch your hand when i say this—it never gave fan, your majesty of horny nerds) and this is about ALL the writing communities and fandoms—spicy content, black content and dark content. ALL.
yet no one wants to talk about the pregnant elephant in the room—bias. and favoritism. also people seem to have a hard time being direct with how they’re feeling toward/about someone ( in a good or bad way) which in turn leads to a lot of miscommunication and subliminal attacks. (not to mention hate anons? one of my moots just had her inbox flooded w/them recently, ew.)
you can lead a horse to water AND you can write a 500-word essay on the observations made on tumblr writers as a whole. (a long ass post on the truth on behalf of those feeling this too)
also, slapping a HEY LOOK AT ME! IM A WRITER WHO WANTS INTERACTION AND FRIENDS! on a blog is frankly embarrassing. it shouldn’t even take all that seeing how easy it is for others wanting the same thing.
or doing less to achieve the same result.
not to mention, yall shit on ppl who essentially feel this way altogether bc you peg them as sb who doesn’t “try” or just jealous when their own works are phenomenally written themselves. ive seen it. and ive lived it. never gave jealousy baby.
at the end of the day, we’re all writers— either longterm or hobbyists. (personally, im longterm) self-indulgent or not! and its absolutely amazing when people are being fair in how they spread love and feedback to their writers.
Secondly, its not news that people have to want to reblog your fics so that their followers can reblog, so they can reblog, and their followers can reblog and so forth. but ppl honestly dont care atp bc once they’ve already read it, they owe you nothing. and apparently asking for reblogs is crass and bold. (imma do it anyway) but putting your very all into a story just to turn and see a half-thought out hc soaring 3k in 2hrs and 5k in a day — you have to stfu, open your ass and take it. keep it cute!
you’re getting fucked after all!!
because if you complain—you’re just jealous and lazy and uncreative!! and i hate that to seem like a writer worth a damn, you have to change up your writing style every two weeks to fit in with trending waves.
“no more poetic long fics, nobody’s into that! short, snappy slutty shots are all the rage!” “ppl are only into these specific tropes but you can’t exceed 2k words!” “only add trending characters to these hcs! ppl love them only!” “don’t write too much about a specific character or else ill unfollow you!” its exhausting.
i am well within my right as a literary artist to desire more feedback and interaction on anything i put out. period. and you are too! 🫵
God, im tired of that stupid, ‘you have to enjoy your writing for yourself and not worry about notes’ line. i do love my writing! don’t get me wrong there’s nobody id rather write like if not myself fr. not to mention the inspiration i draw from famous literary authors. however, i would love feedback and the same energy that i see with others in my same caliber.
and when i see others that didn’t even try fr—its a slap in the face to put it bluntly.
i can want silly little comments and notes about something i cherish and put out for that reason and yall aren’t gonna make me feel bad about it. sorry! like yall really be making people feel shitty for wanting the same type of interactions you get! especially when its harmless, bye asf. nb want to recipe to ur peach cobbler b!
the only one giving push back are those appointed popular /top blogs n’ cliques tho. now personally, i honestly dgaf if you have 20 followers or 25k, writing is writing and if its good you should want to support it regardless of following count/interaction right?
unfortunately, and quite unsurprisingly its not the case for the rest of this hellhole lol. there’s always gonna be some “big blog” in any part of tumblr or any social media for that matter.
but when the sole purpose being on a site like tumblr to write is mainly exposure, then it just makes it ten times worse especially if it seems that these blogs are steady at the top of every. single. tag. and listen, i know how initially stupid that sounds but when you’ve picked up on patterns for as long as i have, well iykyk.
so imma be real bc no one else will, half of the posts that yall see with 25k notes have alr been done. just different characters, different words, different dialogue. And 8/10 its been done by sb who only received 100 notes. Thats the evil part. whats more is that it lacks the creativity the one post with 100-300 notes is filled with completely.
POP QUIZ! what post would readers be more inclined to read? — one that says 10k (ohhh that must be popular!) or the one with only 150 (oh i guess nb really liked that one) that no one is even willing to reblog for MORE. and BOOM. now yall wonder why so many great writers LEAVE, its a fucking joke.
so unfortunately its no longer only about or only on readers anymore. its about who you know and who you know is willing to support your fr. who is willing to REBLOG your fics for their friends and followers, so that their friends and followers can reblog. to fit in you actually have to get in these days and it makes it all less enjoyable. makes it a chore and if you aren’t ‘doing it right’ ultimately it makes you feel shitty about your writing. (Please don’t, you are doing amazing. its the platform.)
it makes people not want to jump into writing. it pushes away those who actually want to join writing communities and meet people without feeling like they have to jump thru hoops to thrive or worse—live in other ppls shadows. and then it deters those from speaking up in fear of being shut down by bigger groups. ive seen it happen time and time again.
lastly, and this is the juiciest part! you absolutely cannot say anything about any of this bc you’re complaining and a fisher just looking for attention and not someone who just want things to be fair all over. play the game, right? ( wrong. and if this is your logic, you suck! )
its no longer about making flashy banners and pretty themes. its no longer about how many clever directory links you add or how many games you initiate on your blog or whether or not you’ve reblogged your fic three times already. its about your “friends”, other mutuals, and blogs willing to support you too. not just the audience. audience gonna do what they want regardless. reblog, don’t reblog, whatever. “at least ive read it right?” but everyone knows this. duh! but it’s obvious who doesn’t care as long as they’re on top of that tag! its admirable in a way but it sucks for those wanting to break out and build some kind of readerbase and/or make friends.
TLDR; people need to stop being bias and be fair and open lol. stop picking favorites and share the love all around. you see another person writing your favorite character or trope, give them a fucking chance and reblog, regardless if they’re in your ‘circle’ / radar or not. regardless if you know them or not. hell, let them put you on to a new fandom. bc writing is writing and making new moots and finding new fics seem to be what everyone loves to showcase until its time to actually do it. no wonder people get discouraged to make friends and write, yall treat it like some kind of secret society when its supposed to be fun💀 not a competition. (yall need to dead this clique-y shit. )
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faintedlcve · 4 months
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END OF 2023
sorry to anyone who didn't want to be tagged xx
hi! most of you will know me as lucy (unless you're @m3ntallyunstable34 and know my real name lol)
so yes, i am lucy. and this is me reflecting on 2023 on tumblr because it seems like a logical thing to do considering this year sucked like 20% less (one of us is lying reference) because of all my amazing online friends. so yes i guess in a way this is a mutual appreciation post 🫶
@berryzxx you wouldn't believe me when i tell you you were the first mutual i didn't have to be all professional and got to be a crazy bitch with lmao so thank you for not judging me and talking to me like we're besties (we totally are btw bc i said so) mwahh
@longlivestv the loml literally owe my life to you bee 🫶🫶 you are one of the main reasons i'm friends with all of the people i will mention after, so tysm and thank you for being so sweet to me and i love flirting with you /hj ilysm 💗 also if im too young to fall in love why do you keep running through my brain? 😍😍
@loserdiaz one of the very few people i get to openly talk to and not feel weird doing it akshdasjhd ilysm april <33 and youre one of the only people i will ever admit has better pick up lines than me (thats a huge honour btw) so thank you for keeping up with me and flirting with me it makes me feel very special mwahhh and ily and we should totally snuggle by the fireplace you know i made those cookies you like (sab reference) 😍🫶
@weeping-in-the-willows thank you for being the absolute SWEETEST person to me <3 ilysm and btw you were my first discord friend and i'm so honoured about that ajshdnjfe you're so nice and ily and i hope you get everything you want
@theladyinwhite13 thank you for appreciating my unhinged comments and you're one of the few people who deserve to be told that they are funnier than me (i rarely ever give anyone this honour btw so its very special) and i think you might appreciate this reference 'so what if i just wanna be a little out of my mind'
@bodybetters and @its-tortle karo and tortle my beloved <3 ilysm you're like two of the BEST mutuals ever and i was so honoured happy excited (any other positive adjective) when i realised you followed ME back?!? i was literally so ajshdnjfe i can't even put it in words you're like my favourite people on this hellsite (affectionate)
@suugarbabe ajdhhgajsgf my pookie <33 you always stand up for me and ilysm for it youre the nicest to me what did i ever do to deserve you 😭❤️
@patrophthia omg the absolute sweetestt!! youre an angel and ilysm and i hope you have the best life every <33 ilysm thank you for being so nice to me and making me feel valued asjdhajksd i love youu
@theautistmwitch omg idk how youre still sane after hearing to my traumatising jokes 😭 ilysm mwahh❤️thank you for being so sweet to meee it makes me so happy <333 can't wait to traumatise- uh i mean make you laugh even more next year!
@kurtcobainsgreencardigan ajkshdad i had the time of my life 'bullying' [insert their name] (i dont wanna get cancelled yk just in case people actually like them) with you <33 [i mean you technically didn't 'bully' them but we bonded over that] you're so funny and sweet and ily<3
@catastrxblues nadine the loml <33 i LOVED chatting with you and ranting to you and reading your answers to my asks akgdskg im so glad to have you as a mutual and i would love to have some more ranting convos with you in the future haha asdhjhajsh ilysm mwahh <3
@nyctophile-me omg you're so sweet to meee 😭😭😭 ily you're like one of my favourite wives too you're one of the only people i will ever share sab with mwah ❤️❤️ id love to talk to you more next year <3
@magicandmaybe @andi-is-bored @alltheliars and @animallover4000 omg you're all so sweet and ily and we didn't really interact a lot this year but i loved chatting with you on discord 💕
@imperpetuallylost omg ilyy you're so unintentionally (or intentionally?) funny ahsjdnfne and i guess it's inevitable sorry sky but it looks like you (lea not sky) deserve to [redacted] goosebot and it's well deserved ajsjdjdne ily and id love to interact more with you next year <33
@london-affairs literally started talking to you like 5 days ago and we were flirting non stop that's CRAZYYYY ily btw pookie 😍
@m3ntallyunstable34 my literal best friend!! i absolutely love you mwah mwah mwah thank you for being my best friend and dealing with me for 12 years llama im shocked you're not insane yet ahsjsj ilyyyy ❤️
these are the mutuals that made me throw my phone across the room and scream in excitement when i realised THEY followed ME
also i will take this moment to thank all of you for making my year amazing and i love you all so much and i hope you have THE BEST 2024. thank you so much for being a part of my crazy blog i would never have imagined 438 people would find this silly little blog 🫶
@cassiopeiasdaughter @faultsline @underthenightskydreamsneverdie @theostrophywife @slytherinslut0 @imperpetuallylost @themidnightarcher @stvrlighhttt @psychedeliccc @prettybaby-grande @nqds @themidnightarcher @i-miss-you-im-sorry @cottoncandywhispers @svnflowermoon @finalgirllx @fallingforfictionalcharacterss @ashisgreedy @moonffe @suugarbabe @wordsarelife and @xobridgertonblues (i might've tagged some people twice sorryyyy)
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