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judessangel · 2 months

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look after you

jude bellingham x f!reader

summary: when a night out takes an unexpected turn with a bit too much alcohol, jude finds himself tasked with looking after you, but you're not making it easy for him with your actions.

a/n: sorry for not posting:(( soonly i think ill start writing smut. requests are open!! please keep sending them in it gives me more motivation!!

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"cmon.. babe, don't you think you've had your fill of that?" jude questions, reaching for my drink. i quickly dodge his attempt, shaking my head and bringing the straw to my lips. the liquid burns as it slides down my throat, but the buzz inside me only makes me want to smile.

the music thumps in my ears, club lights flickering around us as people dance messily to the beat. jude and i sit on a sofa in a tucked-away corner, his arm casually draped over my shoulder. my little black dress with spaghetti straps leaves almost nothing to the imagination.

our friends are lost in the crowd, but jude isn't in the mood to join them, so I'm stuck with him. he refuses to leave my side, becoming even more protective as I get a bit tipsy.

im way past being just a little hazy now. ive lost count of my drinks, and all i can think about is the alcohol coursing through me. i don't notice jude's growing concern.

"can we pleeease go dance?" i plead, looking up at him, planting a small kiss on his neck. he sighs, shaking his head.

"i don't think that's a good idea amor. you've had way too much to drink, and I'm just trying to look out for you," he says gently, kissing my forehead and holding me tighter. i reach for the tray of shots on the table, grabbing the nearest one without caring what's in it — i just want to taste it.

"love..." jude starts, trying to stop me from taking it, leaning forward and placing both his hands on my shoulders.

i move away from his touch, swiftly downing the liquid as it cascades down my throat beyond his reach. a shiver courses through me, provoked by its bitter taste. "quit treating me as if i'm a kid, jude. allow me a drink and just loosen up, for goodness' sake," i retort, my words sharp, accompanied by an eye roll. i face him, finding his expression slightly wounded, lips slightly parted.

"i'm just trying to take care of you hermosa, stop arguing with me." he replies calmly, attempting to pull me back into his embrace, leaning backwards into the sofa.

"i'm going to dance." i mumble, standing up as my body sways slightly, showing how wasted i really am. not giving jude any time to try stop me, i quickly walk towards the dance floor, though i hear him calling my name, the music soon drowning out his voice once i near the crowd of drunken bodies, beginning to sway my hips to the music.

a smile takes over my expression, my arms swaying freely in the air, the alcohol controlling my every move. my head throbs, my body becoming sweaty, yet i tune it out, focusing only on the music, until i feel two strong arms wrap their way around my waist, their hold slightly foreign.

i turn around, expecting to see jude, but the deep blue eyes that are staring into mine take me aback, my hands roughly trying to pull his grip off of my waist with little success, the alcohol taking away the small strength that i had.

"get the fuck off of me you psycho! are you cr..azy?!" i say, trying to sound as sober as i can, but my words are almost incoherent, the guy chuckling at my struggles.

"don't be like that. what's a pretty girl like you doing here alone, hm?" he asks, his hold on me only tightening as i begin to feel like a complete idiot for not listening to jude. if i had just stayed with him and appreciated his efforts to keep me safe, then i wouldn't be in this situation.

"i have a boyfriend! fuck o-" i begin, but my voice is soon cut off by the guy being roughly pulled away from me, all too familiar small curls soon coming into my view.

"you ever touch my girlfriend again and i swear to fucking god i will fucking kill you." jude threatens, holding the guys shirt until he scoffs, letting him go and watching him walk away.

judes attention soon turns to me, pulling me closer to him, holding my shoulders whilst he frantically checks my body, looking for any signs that the guy had hurt me.

his eyes are glassy, lips parted as ragged breaths escape from them, his hold on me strong, yet he makes sure to not hurt me, attempting to study my expression.

all that is clear to see is that i am wasted as fuck, my eyes empty, not even completely processing what has just happened, my mind only longing to carry on dancing.

"are you okay baby? did he hurt you?" he asks, sighing in relief when i shake my head, quickly pulling my body into his, wrapping his arms tightly around my waist and refusing to let go.

"i'm fine jude, i promise." i say, genuinely telling the truth.

"we're leaving now. and don't try fight me on it, okay?" he asserts, taking my hand in his and leading me out of the bar, my walking all over the place as the alcohol is still strong in my system.

despite what had just happened, i long to be back in there, tugging judes arm slightly, causing him to stop and turn around, waiting for me to speak.

"can we stay just a bit longer, please jude..?" i beg, pulling him towards me slightly before he reaches the doors. his eyebrows furrow, confused at my question as if i had asked something completely crazy, because to him, i had.

"really? you want to stay, even after all that? you really are absolutely wasted." he replied, lacing his fingers in mine once again. "we're going home, it's not safe for you to be here, not when you're this drunk."

"you're so boring jude." i mumble, having no choice but to leave with him, my body too weak to put up a fight, knowing that he would win and be able to carry me out of the club, which was an option too embarrassing for me to consider, even in this state.

"if wanting to keep my girlfriend safe makes me boring then fine, whatever amor." jude sighs, opening the doors as the cold immediately hits me, the night bringing on a chilling breeze as the dress i am wearing gives me practically no warmth.

i let go of judes hand, trying to warm myself up by wrapping my arms around my frame. jude picks up on this, taking off his oversized black jacket and slowly placing it on me, threading my arms through the material and holding my hand once again.

"better?" he asks.

i nod my head, not bothering to think of a quick remark, the throbbing in my head only increasing as the high i was on begins to wear off, leaving a nauseous feeling to spread in the bit of my stomach.

he guides me to the taxi, opening the door for me and gently placing me in the seat, reaching for the seatbelt and stretching it around my tired frame.

"you okay?" he asks, his hand resting on the end of my seat to hold himself up as his upper body hovers over me from putting my seatbelt on, his brown eyes looking into mine. i nod my head, and he smiles, pecking my lips slowly before bending down to climb out of the car, walking over to the back seat and hopping in.

his hand rests on my thigh, his thumb comfortingly grazing over the soft skin, his other on his phone as the uber driver drives us home through the empty streets, the early hours of the morning dawning over us.

my eyes falling shut, on the brink of falling asleep, i feel a strong grip lift me from the car, jude using his hands to wrap my legs around his waist as he carries me inside. he slips my heels off whilst still holding me, my head resting on his shoulder. he takes his own shoes off, placing my purse on the table and walking us upstairs.

"jude?" i say, my words muffled into his t-shirt, his jacket still draped over me.

"hm?" he says, moving one of his hands to rub my back.

"i don't feel too good." i admit, feeling the urge to throw up as he gets the hint, carrying me into the bathroom and switching the light on.

he quickly sets me down as i hunch over the toilet, finally releasing the alcohol from my system. he holds my hair in his hand in a makeshift ponytail, using the other hand to comfortingly rub my back.

"you're okay, i'm here." he whispers, bent down beside me as i practically throw my guts up, regret quickly taking over as i wish that i hadn't drank as much as i did.

i lift my head upwards, feeling completely sober now, jude looking at me sympathetically. he opens his arms for me as i fall into them, wrapping my arms around his torso.

"i'm sorry." i mumble into him.

"why are you sorry baby?" he asks, running his hands through my hair, brushing out the knots the best he can.

"you've had to take care of me the whole night and now i've just thrown up and it's all my fault!" i complain, my eyes welling up as i find myself becoming strangely emotional.

"don't be sorry my love, that's what i'm here for." he begins, planting a soft kiss on my forehead. "now let's get you ready for bed, yeah? you must be exhausted."

i nod my head as he pulls me upwards, walking me into our bedroom. i fall into bed, completely drained, not caring that my makeup is still on, or that i'm still in my dress. jude however, does, sitting on the edge of the bed and gently lifting me upwards.

"not yet, come on let's get this off." he says, pointing to my dress.

"you do it." i mutter, too tired to even form complete sentence.

he nods, turning me around so that my back is facing him. his hand reaches for the zipper, pulling it downwards slowly, moving the straps off of my shoulders and getting up, grabbing one of his t-shirts and some fresh underwear for me. he pulls the dress off me and folds it neatly, putting it to the side.

"lift up." he says, and i obey, allowing him to put his t-shirt on me. the material hangs from my frame, reaching my knees. he passes me my panties, and i put them on lethargically, my body almost passing out in exhaustion. jude gets up, saying nothing and walking to the bathroom, coming back with some makeup wipes.

"you go to sleep baby, i'll do the rest." he softly says as i fall backwards into the sheets, feeling him gently wipe the makeup from my face, making sure that he gets everything off, taking extra care to not apply too much pressure and hurt me. he puts the used makeup wipes in the trash, my body on the verge of falling asleep. he takes his clothes off, climbing into bed in his boxers and pulling me closer to him.

"thank you for taking care of me. i love you." i whisper, my eyes still closed.

"i'll always be here to look after you. even when you don't want me to be." he chuckles, kissing my forehead.

i smile, snuggling closer to him as he wraps his arms around my waist.

"goodnight hermosa. i love you." he says, his voice the last thing i hear before i fall asleep.

again, requests are open!! send them!!

#football #jb5 #jude #jude bellingham #bellingham #la liga #real madrid #soccer #jobe bellingham #england #jude bellingham x you #jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham imagine

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frauleinfunf · 2 years

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bc of adele i have to make sure i hit shuffle every time i go into a different playlist on spotify and i'm this close to taking out the 4 songs of hers in my liked playlist bc of that

#personal #it's literally the dumbest thing and so many ppl were defending it too #like! why! do you care! about how other ppl listen to music!#i'm so sorry i didn't realize me putting folklore on shuffle killed your family and gave you a terminal illness #none if this would be happening to me if i hadn't lost my ipod classic months after apple discontinued the line

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dreamescapeswriting · 24 days

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Petals Of Love ~ HJS

WORD COUNT: 2.9K

GENRE: Non idol, college au, established friendships, unrequited love, jisung blind to his feelings, reader almost dying, mentions of coughing and blood, hanahaki disease [Hanahaki disease is a fictional medical condition often depicted in anime, manga, and fan fiction. It's characterized by the symptoms of coughing up flower petals or blossoms due to unrequited love. ]

PAIRING: Jisung X Fem!Reader

⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - April 2024

⤜MASTERLIST

In the bustling city of Seoul, cherry blossoms painted the streets pink, and everywhere you went petals fell down and showered those around them creating a beautiful scene, but you hated it.

You had once loved the flowers but now they simply reminded you of the one person you could never have, the one person that was killing you slowly on the inside and didn't even know it. Your best friend. Jisung.

You'd always loved him but you hadn't realised the depth of your feelings until recently. It had started subtly, with you admiring his infectious laugh or his giant smile. The way he stored food in his cheeks or his passion for music. Everything about him drew him in. He even had a remarkable ability to see the best in people and bring joy to those around him mostly you.

"Dear? Is there something I can do for you?" A voice brought you out of your daydream as you slowly turned around to face an elderly woman who was staring at you. You took in her appearance, silver hair that cascaded down her back in gentle waves and she was dressed in a headscarf adorned with cherry blossoms. You'd been reading about her all week long, she was supposed to be the best herbalist in all of Seoul and you figured she'd be able to find a way to help you.

"I...I need your help," You stuttered, your voice barely above a whisper, and your hands were trembling.

"I have this... this illness. It's called Hanahaki. I'm in love with my best friend, Jisung, but... but he doesn't feel the same way. I'm coughing up petals, and I don't know what to do." Tears sprang to your eyes as you finally admitted it out loud to someone else. Ever since you'd started coughing up the petals you'd done everything you could to hide it, not wanting anyone to see you.

The herbalist listened attentively, her expression softening as she heard your plight. With a gentle touch, she reached out to comfort you.

"I'm sorry, my dear," the herbalist sighed, her voice heavy with regret.

"But there is little I can do for you. Hanahaki is a curse born of unrequited love, and its remedy lies not in herbs or potions, but in the depths of your heart." Your heart sank at the herbalist's words, your hopes dashed against the harsh reality of your situation. Tears welled up in your eyes as you realized the gravity of your predicament.

"But... but there must be something!" You pleaded, desperation lacing your voice.

"I can't just let this disease consume me. Jisung... he means everything to me. I can't lose him." The herbalist's gaze softened, her eyes reflecting your anguish.

"My dear child," she murmured, her voice gentle yet firm.

"Sometimes, the greatest remedies come not from external sources, but from within ourselves. Only by confronting your feelings and expressing them honestly can you hope to find peace, whether it be in love returned or in letting go." With those words, the herbalist offered you a comforting embrace, a silent reassurance that you were not alone in your struggle.

"Confess your love and hope for reciprocation or face the consequences of a love unspoken." She told you softly as she rubbed the small of your back, the weight of everything pressing down on you as you began your walk back to your shared apartment with Jisung.

No matter how much you adored Jisung there was always someone else for him, someone he liked more than you. The thought of it made your throat close up until you coughed a little, petals falling into your hands, the beautiful pink in stark contrast to the blood red that covered them.

As you stepped into the apartment, you were instantly greeted by the scent of your home and Jisung running around excitedly, his energy infectious as it always was. The thoughts and problems of your day melted away instantly as he grinned in your direction,

"You're back!" He exclaimed, his eyes bright with excitement.

"I have some exciting news!" Curiosity piqued you set your bag down on the floor and walked toward him,

"What's the news?" You smiled.

"I met someone, her name is Emi and she's incredible! You have to meet her!" Your heart skipped a beat, a pang of longing shooting through you as you processed his words. It honestly felt as though it was going to be anyone but you at this point and your chest tightened, your throat burning as you felt the flowers making their way up making it feel as though you were going to choke. Forcing a smile onto your face you nodded,

"T...That's wonderful, I can't wait to meet her," You lied, doing your best to mask the ache in your chest as you spoke. It would be a while before you'd ever have to face her, Jisung was always slow when it came to relationships and never wanted to rush anything.

"Great! Chan is hosting a party tonight and she'll be there! I can't wait for you to meet her," Your smile faltered as you stared at him, this was faster than any of the past relationships he'd had.

"Tonight? But-" You didn't even have time to come up with some kind of excuse not to come.

"It'll be fun, I heard Lix is going to be there." He wiggled his eyebrows at you, he'd been trying to set you up with his friends for a while not catching that you weren't into them but rather him.

"Sounds good," You lied through your teeth, you could think of a million different places you wanted to be rather than at a party where you would watch him with someone else, hell being one of those places.

"You're the best, this is going to be so much fun!" He told you, embracing you in a tight hug as you squeezed your eyes shut, enjoying the fleeting moment of being so close to him while it lasted.

"Why not me," You whispered to yourself as he walked away from you, going to plan an outfit for the night and you coughed into your hand throwing away the petals into the bin.

The party pulsated with energy, its atmosphere electric with excitement and anticipation. Held in Chan's college house adorned with twinkling fairy lights and draped with cascading cherry blossom garlands, it resembled a scene straight out of a fairy tale. The sight of the garlands felt as though they were torturing you though, as if they were there to remind you of your unrequited love.

The air was alive with the sound of laughter and animated conversations, mingling with the rhythmic beat of music that reverberated through the room.

"This is exciting, right?" Jisung asked from beside you, the two of you went to almost all of Chan's parties and this one certainly felt more extravagant than the others that you'd been to in the past.

"Yeah it's nice," You whispered, letting your eyes linger on him for a second enjoying the way his eyes were lighting up at the sight of the party.

"Might be his best party yet," Jisung chuckled, nudging you softly as you nodded at him but you were in complete awe of him not to agree with everything he was saying. You forced a smile on your face, your heart pounding as you followed Jisung through the throng of partygoers. You tried to focus on the lively atmosphere, the music to try and drown out the whispers of doubt in your mind.

"Hey! Yn! Jisung!" Felix waves at you both and you smile, hugging him softly and relaxing as he whispers in your ear,

"Missed you little one," The two of you were close with one another, not in a romantic way but still close nonetheless.

"Have you seen Emi anywhere?" The mention of her name had you choking up as you stared at Felix,

"She was with Chan last I saw her." Without a second thought, Jisung left you and Felix alone, your eyes staring off after your best friend as you swallowed the nervous lump in your throat.

"She's the girl of the week then?" Felix teased softly, it was no secret that Jisung fell in love with a new girl faster than anyone else but it was something you found endearing about him.

"I guess so," You mumbled, reaching for a cup from a nearby tray and downing it instantly trying to forget everything that was going to happen tonight.

The two of you fell into casual conversation, catching up with one another as you walked through the party, your eyes finding Jisung instantly as you noticed just how close he was to Emi. Their hands linked with one another as you stared at him a sharp pang of pain shot through your chest, causing you to gasp for breath and clutch onto Felix.

A delicate petal, stained with blood fluttered from your lips, a cruel reminder of the curse that plagued your heart. Felix's eyes widened in shock as he stared at you,

"You okay?" He asked, his voice laced with worry as he pulled you to the side, trying to get you out of the crowded party. Your cheeks were burning with embarrassment as you tried to compose yourself,

"I-I'm fine," You stammered, your voice trembling a little.

"It's nothing." You lied, but Felix's eyes remained fixed on you, his eyes filled with understanding as he realised what was happening.

"You're in love with him, aren't you?" He asked as you stared at him, your breath caught in your throat as you nodded silently, unable to find the words to express the depth of your emotions.

"You can't tell him," You begged, your hands clutching onto Felix's forearms as petals began to fall from your lips faster than before, more blood coating them with each falling petal.

"Yn, it'll kill you if he doesn't know." Something you already knew but even if you told him and he rejected you, you were going to die, you were fighting it as much as you possibly could.

"It'll kill me faster if he knows and rejects me," You croaked out, tears streaming down your cheeks as you shook your head. You'd thought about confessing a million times before, you'd written songs, letters, and poems but nothing was ever going to work because you knew he would never love you back.

"But-"

"There's nothing I can do Lix, either way I die." You mumbled, wiping the corners of your lips to remove the blood from them, sighing a little as you shrugged your shoulders.

"How do you know he doesn't love you?" You scoffed a little and shook your head, there was no way Jisung returned the feelings you had for him,

"He would have said something." You mumbled a little, looking down at the floor as Felix stared at you,

"Like you have to him?" He had you there but you just shook your head,

"I'm going to get some fresh air, keep him distracted...I don't want to meet Emi," You admitted as Felix nodded, always having your back no matter what.

The moon cast a gentle glow upon the garden, its silvery light dancing among the cherry blossoms like ethereal spirits. You stood at the threshold, your heart heavy with the weight of unspoken words and unrequited love. Each step felt like a burden, and your chest constricted with the pain of the Hanahaki disease.

With each laboured breath, you coughed, delicate petals stained with blood escaping your lips like crimson tears. The air was thick with the scent of cherry blossoms, their sweet fragrance mingling with the coppery tang of blood—a haunting reminder of the curse that plagued your heart.

As you stumbled forward, your vision blurred with tears, and the world around you seemed to spin, a dizzying whirlwind of colours and sensations. Your strength waned with each passing moment, your body growing weaker with every faltering step.

But still, you pressed on, driven by a desperate longing to be alone with your thoughts, to find solace amidst the tranquil beauty of the garden. Each petal that fell from your lips was a silent plea, a silent prayer for forgiveness and understanding. Darkness began to cloud your vision as you leaned up against a tree, trying to catch as much breath as you could but it was as though there was a filter to your lungs, stopping any viable air coming through.

In that moment of quiet surrender, you finally found peace—a fleeting glimpse of serenity amidst the chaos of your suffering. And as the night stretched on, the garden whispered its mournful lament, a solemn witness to the beauty of love unspoken and the tragedy of a life cut short.

"Have you seen Yn? I figured we'd go home together," Jisung said as he joined Felix in the kitchen but he shook his head,

"She was going for air the last I saw her," He admitted, he hadn't seen you for at least an hour now and he figured you'd gone home. Jisung smiled weakly and began to make his way through the people, his date with Emi couldn't have gone worse, it turned out she had a crush on Chan instead of Jisung and all he wanted was to go home and watch bad movies with you.

"Yn?!" He called out to the party, sighing a little at the thought of you going home alone. The two of you always went home together, dates or not. As he walked through the party, a hushed whisper reached his ears, a rumour that someone had been found unconscious in the garden. Panic built inside of him as he dashed toward the garden, his heart pounding with fear.

As he burst through to the garden his worst fears came true, you were lying on the floor surrounded by cherry Blossoms as people simply stared at you in awe. You were frail on the floor, a halo of petals surrounding you like a mournful shroud.

"Yn!" He cried out, his voice trembling with anguish as he rushed to your side, his hands trembling as he brushed bloodied petals from your chest. Your eyes fluttered open, your gaze clouded with pain as you struggled to breathe,

"Yn," He whispered, his voice choked on emotion. Tears welled in Jisung's eyes as he took in the sight of your frail form, the severity of the situation finally sinking in.

"Oh, Yn," Jisungwhispered, her voice choked with emotion, the thought of all of this happening to you.

"What happened? Why didn't you tell me?" He pleaded with you, the sound of distant sirens blasting through the air, your response was a weak cough, a delicate petal stained with blood escaping your lips—a silent testament to the depth of your suffering.

Realization dawned upon Jisung like a bolt of lightning, illuminating the darkness of his ignorance. He'd been blind to your silent struggle, oblivious to the agony hidden beneath your friend's smiles and laughter.

"I'm so sorry," He murmured, his voice trembling with regret as tears streamed down his cheeks.

"I didn't know... I didn't realize..." With each passing moment, your strength waned, your breaths growing shallower as the petals threatened to suffocate your fragile lungs.

"I wrote a letter and threw it away, 'cause god just knows that I'll never say I think about you every day...I-I know you'll never see me that way." You coughed out before everything faded to black, Jisung's hands shaking you as he begged you to come back to him.

"Yn...Yn, can you hear me?" The voice was gentle yet urgent, pulling you back from the brink of oblivion. With a faint groan, you stirred, your eyes fluttering open as you squinted a little.

"Jisung?" You mumbled, your voice hoarse from how dry your throat was.

"You're in the hospital, you collapsed," Jisung whispered, his hands griping yours with trembling hands, you stared at him and took in his appearance, it looked like he'd barely slept and his eyes were bloodshot.

"What...What happened?" You thought for sure you would have died right then and there, it had been the only reason you'd admitted your feelings to him.

"You were coughing up blood...petals...Yn, why didn't you just tell me?" He squeezed your hand and you shook your head, looking back on it, it all seemed silly not to tell him the truth.

"I was scared I was going to lose you," You admit as you slowly sat up in the bed,

"And I nearly lost you," He choked, kissing your hand softly as you watched him,

"How am I-"

"Alive? After you passed out...I finally realised I love you, I always have and I just cried into your chest," He laughed nervously and wiped the tears away from his cheeks.

I've loved you for as long as I can remember. I just didn't know how to tell you." He admitted as you stared at him in complete shock,

"You saved my life," You whispered as you swallowed and for the first time in forever it didn't hurt, it felt pain-free as you finally didn't feel the urge to cough anymore.

"I love you, Jisung." You whimpered a little./

"I love you too, Yn," He whispers, leaning down and kissing you softly as you wrap your arms around the back of his neck bringing him closer to you.

In that moment, amidst the sterile walls of the hospital room, you felt a weight lift from your chest—a burden lifted by the power of love and the courage to speak your truth. And as Jisung leaned in to press a gentle kiss to your forehead, you knew that this was exactly where you belonged—in the arms of the man you loved, your heart finally at peace.

@chiisaiblog @sw33tnight @kaitieskidmore97 @laylasbunbunny @stayconnecteed @saymyspringrain @toplinehyunjin @katnisspeetaprim @acciocriativity @just-aelia @choisoorin @straykids5star @midnightfrog625 @beccaskz @scarletemeterio @halesandy @junhannies @gothic4under4lord @lixie-phoria @soulphoenix1618 @aerastus @jin-from-the-block @lensfilm @elizaschuyler18 @piratequeen-impact @kpopsstuffs @chaeyoungs @delulu18 @xyahrinx @katsukis1wife @anthropologymajorkpopmultistan @blairscott @4-chan-inpadella @niktwazny303 @moonlight-the-writer @armystay89 @hadassahchan @yxngbxkkie @myyouthdonut @extrhotjne @ca11me3mily @elissasimp @piercedddriver

#skz #skz x reader #skz imagine #skz imagines #stray kids #stray kids x reader #stray kids imagine #stray kids imagines #han jisung #han jisung x reader #han jisung imagine #han jisung imagines #jisung #jisung x reader #jisung imagine #jisung imagines

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stuck-in-the-ghost-zone · 2 years

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literally what is the point of life if i cannot make things

#srry gomna delete this ina minute but i ha v to fucking scream #im so. useless @ literally everything like.#all i do is sit here and listen to shitty music and cry and go to my stuoid job that i hate and never accomplish anything #tell myself 'yeah ill draw when i get home'and then picking up my tablet pen makes me want to kill myself #even when i can bring up the stupid energy to make something it turns out bad and gets a total of 3 reblogs all from myself like.ok cool #guess ill die #'dont tie your attention to your insecurities' ok cool nice to hear from you and your hundreds of nice comments and likes and #gruhhggghghhh #ive never made anything good in my life and anyone who says otherwise is a liar #like. theres no scientific hard evidence so like. even when ppl r like noooo ur sooo talented uwu its like #so fucking surface level pandering bs like. ok if that was true why does nobody like. ever look at it or think about it or anything #yeah I think my stuff is cool but a huge part of making things is sharing them with other people snd ehen other ppl r like. yea ok cool die #its like. wow i never want to create anythjng ever again #im just not good enough and i never will be and all of my ideas can be done by someone way better thsn me so whats the poin in even trying #i will simply just tell my ideas to peoplewho r better than be and watch them reap the benefits without anything in return ever #guess ill fuvking die

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omegalomania · 9 months

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face in my hands. listen to me. no just. just listen. like. i think on the whole fandom tends to heavily mythologize what certain songs are "about" despite this never being solidly confirmed to be the case and fob (pete in particular) generally try not to say without question What Songs Are About because they want people to take whatever meaning they can from it. but from now on we are enemies is one of the exceptions to this rule to a very limited extent and by that i mean that on two separate occasions, during the hiatus, patrick and pete shared a little bit of what the song was about on twitter, independent of one another.

if you haven't seen the film amadeus it's about a rivalry between two historical composers, wolfgang amadeus mozart and antonio salieri. salieri loathes mozart and finds him supremely childish and annoying...but also irritatingly brilliant beyond words. salieri obsesses over wanting to see mozart fail and even plans on killing him, but they do eventually form a friendship. then mozart gets sick and dies. salieri essentially breaks and loses his mind and years down the line will claim that he murdered him.

the name of the song, "from now on we are enemies," is a direct quote from the film. but it's not talking about mozart. it's a furious diatribe that salieri flings at god himself. he's so wildly and deliriously envious of mozart that he feels like this is divine punishment and so he declares god his mortal enemy for bestowing mozart with such brilliance. from now on we are enemies, you and i.

this is, i should note, one of the last songs fall out boy wrote before the hiatus. this and "alpha dog" were considered "new" for the believers never die greatest hits compendium, but alpha dog was technically debuted before folie released, on the welcome to the new administration mixtape. then fall out boy went on hiatus and there was no guarantee of return.

like i dont know what to say about this song that hasnt already been said. its fucking deranged as all get out ill tell you that much. its fucking unhinged that this song, this song with this central thesis statement, is one of the last songs you wrote together as a band before going your separate ways without any guarantee that you would reform again. and it's THIS. IT'S THIS SONG. a song that laments about whether anyone will remember you when you're gone (reminds me of flu game, reminds me of so much (for) stardust the title track, reminds me of .... so many of the themes inherent to their eighth studio album. actually.), and a song that practically lays out its inspiration for all to see. for a band that seldom if ever discloses with actual intent the Meaning behind their songs, this is a song that discusses a HIGHLY FRAUGHT ARTISTIC RELATIONSHIP and it's hard, it's real damn hard, to see anything but what is clearly all on display. composer but never composed (patrick has always considered himself a composer first and foremost). singing the symphonies of the overdosed (pete played a song that was named after the drug he tried to overdose on with his band mere nights earlier). i'm just a man on a balcony singing no one will ever remember me (again there's the fear and dread about the legacy you leave behind just before the band goes their separate ways).

can't fucking lay out the sheer psychological damage this does to my soul just thinking about this. they played MISS MISSING YOU the night before. just, you know, one of the other Songs that's so hard to disentangle from the hiatus because of the way it was written (patrick wrote the music while making soul punk, felt like it wasn't for him, and set it aside...despite there being, again, NO guarantee that the band would ever reform at this point, and then the song was only completed once fall out boy decided to come back, with joe and andy adding instrumentation and pete adding the lyrics) and whose music video features patrick and pete literally KILLING EACH OTHER. from now on we are enemies. i need to walk into the ocean. i need to lie down. im inconsolable.

#*making poasts #i need to be doing comic work but im just fucking FUMING instead. i cant get over this. im never getting over this.

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bloodstainsontengensfloor · 5 months

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Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes Movie: first response

⚠️SPOILERS⚠️

Okay so! There’s QUITE a few changes from the books. The funerals, which I read the book I always found so unsettling, were cut. Honestly, I was worried if I’d be able to stomach watching it on screen so honestly, those being excluded was a bit of a blessing. But, it’s not really clear if Didi and Apollo died in the attack on the Arena or not. The only confirmed mentor death is Felix, who has been upgraded from the president’s nephew to the president’s son!

The biggest change though, which after listening to the recording from the soundtrack I enjoy a lot, is how Lucy Gray wins her games. Rather than the snakes being released mid way through her games, the snakes are what ends her game. Dr.Gaul spirals, claiming that there doesn’t need to be a Victor and the districts MUST pay, especially because now the president’s son is dead because of these ‘rebels’. Lucy Gray poisons one of the tributes from Coral’s alliance, who’s name escapes me at the moment. I think it’s the one she’s kills with the snake. Lucy Gray’s (Rachel Zegler’s) performance in this scene is so powerful. It’s amazing. The way it’s reframed that she’s singing as the snakes shroud her and she’s the only one alive in the arena, is just chilling. Dr.Gaul refusing to end the games and Snow pleading for her to let Lucy Gray go, with the students chanting “Let her go. Let her go.” I’ve been a Rachel fan since the start. Since I was 12, I’ve been subscribed to her YouTube channel, and seeing the movie and her in it is so… AHHHH. This scene was just so powerful and I honestly still am not over it and can’t wait to see it again on my second viewing.

Reaper’s death also changed with this! He is killed with the snakes along with Coral and I believe two other tributes. Clemmie, sadly, is gone from the movie after the incident with the snakes. She also takes a much more like… not antagonistic per day, but cocky role. Reaper’s death was… it was good. His reaction to Wovey’a death being what triggers him creating the grave for the other tributes is amazing, and the performance of that grief and anger was so good.

The movie portrays the mercy of the games so well. Lucky Flickerman is HILARIOUS as a host which is so disturbing. “The odds are not likely but may they be in your favor” is what he says to Lucy Gray after her interview. His quips are funny and quick, and honestly a highlight of the movie. Only to be reminded of the dying children of course. It’s very Ceaser Flickerman and it’s amazing. After Lamina kills Marcus, Lucky even says “was it mercy or murder?”. It’s such a sharp contrast to Lamina and Marcus’ interaction. She gently reaches for his head, and he turns, face clenched with pain and sorrow, saying “please.” You can see how gentle Lamina is as she kills him, the music too really adds onto the tragedy of it. How Lamina, who is seen as weak and a cry baby for most of her screen time, offers such mercy. Lamina’s actress says nothing, but her performance is so beautiful.

The movie highlights on Lucy Gray’s grief and guilt too. When her and Snow reunite, she talks about how they are BOTH killers. She expresses such grief at how Dill (‘ill Dill’ and ‘Tuberculosis on legs’ WERE WILD ON LUCKY’s part) was the one who found the poison and the audience gets to see a lot of her live reactions to the game’s events.

THE LAST SONG OF LUCY GRAY

The way Rachel and Tom play the scene in the cabin is WILD. The movie’s tone SHIFTS so much the second Snow finds the guns. It becomes like a horror movie as Lucy Gray asks what is it and snow turns to her pointing the gun slightly at her, finger almost on the trigger ready to pull. Rachel’s performance of Lucy Gray in this scene is something I’ll be talking about for days. She’s a bit of a schemer, she is suspicious, and she knows what will come next. She tests the waters with him and when she says that besides the guns, she’ll be his only loose end, I can’t tell if Lucy Gray does it to taunt or test him.

SNOW. “Lucy gray. are you… are you trying to kill me? AFTER EVERYTHING I DID FOR YOU?” Something about the way Snow says this… it takes you out of context of the story because this is something that happens often in toxic relationships. It’s so real and raw, and honestly a little too close to reality than we would like. I personally see it as an effort on the writer’s part to make sure the audience doesn’t side with snow at the end. As we know, the Yassification of characters and if a bad person is attractive it’s okay yada yada IS such a discourse. Tom Blyth as Snow has been seeing a lot of this too. But this part? This part makes it a bit more real, which is greatly appreciated.

Everything about the last scene with Snowbaird was fantastic. The two people I went with said that they were honestly confused on who betrayed who. And who stopped trusting who first. And that’s what makes it so fun AHHH.

I have so many thoughts but not enough people to talk about it with, so word vomit on tumblr lol. I’ll prob have even more to say after round two! (My friend got to meet the cast today and I’m so jealous that I wasn’t able to go)

#ballad of songbirds and snakes #coriolanus snow #lucy gray baird #snowbaird #reaper #wovey #rachel zegler #tom blyth #suzanne collins #i have so much to say ahhh #hunter schafer #she was so good #the perfect Tigriss #tigris snow #OH and snow asking is this real #real or not real #everlark parallel #I’m still sad they didn’t include the scene where Sejanus and Snow get bread from the MELLARK Bakery.#like lol I’m 65 years im gonna put your grandson through so much abuse

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multiwreckedmess · 7 months

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Kinktober Day 9

Prompt: Stuck in Wall Pairing: CampusCrush!Wooyoung x fem!reader WC: 1.8k Summary: Instructions unclear, stuck in the new IKEA Bestå. This is a work of fiction, it does not represent Wooyoung or any Ateez member. On top of this it is an 18+ work. For my comfort and boundaries please if you are under age do not interact with this. TW/CW Under the Cut!

TW/CW: just so fucking stupid. little bit of ass fixation, slight dry humping, protected sex, really fucking stupid

“I cannot believe I’m stuck in some cheesy porn script. Oh this sucks. Oh my god this sucks,” you yell. The assembly instructions for your new television console clearly stated that it was a two person job and yet, you were stubborn and went ahead. Now, almost two hours later, you’ve somehow pretzel’d your way through one of the cubbies with no way out. “Wooyoung help! Can you hear me, you moron, help! You’re going to go deaf if you keep listening to music that loud you little-SHIT,” a sharp slap to your ass interrupts your tirade. “WOOYOUNG!” His witch cackle gives him away. Presumably somewhere behind you, your leg kicks blindly back. “I dropped the screwdriver and now- it’s too heavy I’ll get squished if I knock it over,” you gesture at your predicament. He cackles again. The cold snap of a camera shutter echoing in your mind. “Did you just take a picture of my ass?” You practically scream. “Help me or the second I get out of this thing I’m going to end your entire short twink-y life you GREMLIN.” Sighing, Wooyoung places his phone on the kitchen counter. Appraising what exactly had you helpless in front of him. “You can just go back the way you came?” “No moron. If it was that easy I would've done it. Now can you please PLEASE pull me?”

One hand bracing the frame of the console, the other holding your waist Wooyoung pulls. You don’t budge an inch. He huffs, blowing a tendril of hair up and away from his face. You bounce on your tippy toes with frustration, the fat of your ass jiggling alluringly. You don’t even know you’re doing it as he’s chubbing up inside of his sweats. “Help me out on this would yah?” Wooyoung asks as he readjusts his arm placement. “I”m holding the shelf just focus on pulling back with me, three, two, one, GO!” Both of you tug down, your ass grinding into him, adjusting the height as you push back harder and harder. Still you stay trapped between plywood boards and what’s worse is you can feel him slowly hardening in his loungewear and you don’t hate it.

You’d had a soft spot for Wooyoung, how could anyone not. Handsome with the right amount of self awareness and unique strange charm. In part you wanted to surprise him with the fully built furniture as a way of impressing him, showing him how sufficient you were, as if singlehandedly setting up the entire apartment would win his heart. Dumb, but crushes make you do dumb things. “At least your ass looks great like this,” Wooyoung laughs, taking a handful of flesh in his grasp. “God, I never understood how people could be into those cheesy porn plots but… damn. Really is all out there, vulnerable and whatever.” You stamp your feet, “Wooyoung it isn’t funny.” It wasn’t how you wanted to catch his attention but if it was working who were you to stop it. “What am I gonna do?” Having had a fondle with one hand his other joins, grabbing the opposite cheek, massaging in large slow circles. “Maybe if you relax a bit,” he trails off. “Take advantage of the situation, meditate…or something.” As if hypnotized by his own languid touches, his hips drift forward to meet your butt. He rests there just leaning into you as blood rushes from his brain to his dick.

You aren’t doing much better, practically melting in your pants from even this slightest of touches. It was ill advised to move in with him, but you thought that living together would kill the small flame you’d been carrying. Instead the spark had become a full kitchen fire and now it was spreading to the living room. Your head swimming with his suggestion to “take advantage” of your current predicament. “I’m not very good at meditating, could you help me relax?” “You know, it’s really convenient that I’m home right now. Right when you’re building this. If I’d gone out you’d really be out of luck.” Wooyoung’s teeth catch his lower lip, fighting back a moan as you adjust yourself, ass rubbing against him in the process. “Here’s the problem. I also need help with something,” he pauses, leaning forward and pressing his bulge into you harder. “I think you know what with.” “Mhm,” you nearly whine, lips pressed together hard, making a thin line across your strained face. “It’s sort of your fault, if you think about it. So you should be the one to help me. Take responsibility and all.” He fully settles his clothed bulge between your cheeks, dragging them along his length. “Yes, really, god yes. It’s totally my fault,” you capitulate easily, voice tightening as need sinks heavily into your core. “However you want me to take it, I will. Responsibility I mean. Take responsibility. I can take it in whatever way.”

Wooyoung is ready, just waiting for your word before he drops his waistband to his thighs, a small damp spot already formed in his underwear. Running the length of his shaft along the smooth spandex of your tights gives him goosebumps, a tremor of elation passing through his spine. Tentatively he presses the head into the stretched fabric, watching it dimple and pucker under his microthrusts. “You can take it however I want you to?” His cheshire smile spread wide across his face, tinting his tone. “Even if it’s just this?” “Mhm,” you desperately want more than just this. Fingers gripping the slats of wood as he jostles you. A short sad wheeze escapes through your nostrils. Despite your best efforts to tamp down your desire your body betrays you. Wooyoung laughs again, a short outburst, hand coming down hard on your ass before wrapping you in a hug, as best he can. “You sound so distressed! How will you relax if this is all I give you?” Hand snaking south he presses on your mound, the wet squelch of soaked underwear against his fingers sends another shiver down his spine. “You really want me, don’t you?” “Fuck Woo, yeah I do.”

The response of your pussy to the telltale crinkle of foil is almost pavlovian, walls fluttering in anticipation of fullness. Feeling the warmth of Wooyoung’s palm on your lower back you can picture the packet between his lips, tearing it open with one hand, not wanting to be too far from you. The console rocks as he roughly pulls your leggings just under your ass, just enough to give him access to what matters. Strings of your wetness cling and shine as his fingers slide along your slit. “I was going to prep you but-” he wiggles two fingers in, your walls sucking him deeper. It’s enough to interrupt his train of thought, his persistent teasing. All he can think about is the comfort of your sex. How inviting it is, how ready you are, how much you must want it. “-fuck that’s hot.” “Please Woo, please, hurry.” You beg. You don’t need to as he quickly replaces his fingers with his cock. Grabbing the frame of the furniture he pulls you back onto him in one smooth thrust. The fullness twists in your gut, knocking the breath from your lungs. “OH! Shit, you feel-why are you so big?” You sound almost offended as you moan, adjusting to the pressure. “You don’t know that,” he kneads your lower back, rocking closer. “God I wish I could grab your tits. They’ve always looked so fucking delicious. Just sitting there, taunting me.” “Grab them later fuck me now.” You groan, swirling your hips on him. The wood of the console keeps you from doing much more than rocking and twerking on him. “Show me how much you want it.” He demands. “I know you can do it. You set all this up. Show me how much you need me to fuck you.” Whining you arch your back, wiggling your hips side to side. It barely shifts him within you. He still doesn’t move to fuck you. Bouncing on the balls of your feet, you try humping back on him as best you can. Jaw slackening a dry hiccuped sob escapes you. “I’m stuck, you have to. You have to!”

With a smirk he grabs your waist, tugging back on you to hold you in place. Leaning back and away he rolls his hips, the ridges of your walls dragging along his length. Driven by crazed lust, it isn’t enough to feel how you grip him, he needs to see it. Wooyoung holds the hem of his shirt between his teeth, watching how his abs flex as his bodyline rolls again, your lips tugging with the slow thrust of his cock. “Woo,” you moan as he slowly fucks you. It’s nice to moan his name aloud for once instead of just in your head. “God damn it Woo. Ssooo good.” “Hmph,” his response is muted by the cotton shirt. Speeding up little by little. Your eyes glaze over, mind hazy. Getting fucked by your crush in the living room you shared. Nothing matters except for the insistent drag of his cock against your walls. His hips feel like magic, melting your tension with each stroke. Your leg shakes as your orgasm builds, the entire structure swaying. Wooyoung’s hands migrate from you to the wood, gripping it and using it as leverage to pound into you harder than before. The ripple of your ass with each percussive slap of his hips has him hypnotized. Lost to the friction of your walls, he thrusts deliriously with abandon, uncaring of the precious nature of the situation. Chasing the delight of your punched out moans and groans. Core contracting, air is forced from your lungs. The wave of pleasure crashes over you, every muscle bracing as it hits hard. At the same time the console creaks, your top half jolting free. A choked yelp escapes you, unable to warn Wooyoung. The structure crashes forward, fear clamping your walls tightly down on him. “Shit!” He yelps, eyes wide he spills into the condom unceremoniously. “Fuck!” He continues a steady stream of swear words as he pulls from you, stumbling backwards as you crumple to your knees, panting. “Can’t believe that worked-” “I came,” Wooyoung sounds dejected, red and panting. “FUCK! I came so quick.” Your eyes dart under the sofa, a glimmer of the a loose screw hiding underneath. Looking from Wooyoung to the screw you scoot and reach your arm towards the glimmer, instead grabbing the crossbar of the couch. “Uh…I hate to say it Woo but-” His eyes twinkle, “you’re stuck? What a dummy, getting stuck twice. I’m going to start thinking you’re doing this on purpose.”

I just love giving Wooyoung the most ridiculous of prompts. He’s fun to write for me.

#wooyoung smut #jung wooyoung smut #ateez wooyoung smut #ateez smut #atz smut #ateez kinktober #atz kinktober #kinktober #kinktober 2023 #kpop kinktober #kpop smut

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