#lmao lmao

[spirk-trek]

I ALMOST SPIT OUT MY DRINK HE REALLY WENT "aww... anyway bye!"

#like JIM #star trek #shitposting #lmao LMAO #AND THEN SHE SAYS I'LL MISS YOU AND HE DOESNT ANSWER GIFKFNFIF #idk why i find this so fucking funny #he's like hm no i'm good #get some birth control on your planet first then we'll talk #also i have a boyfriend #the mark of gideon #star trek the original series #season 3 #tos #spirk

[zharizard666]

cutest Idol group!

#ikigusare #イキグサレ #ikigusare idol group #stan ikigusare #lmao lmao #out of jokes I do actually like them #their music is really cute #(if we don't count the odd lyrics) #reminds me a lot of emamouse #I even have the slight suspicion that emamouse is behind this project too #please let peepy and ikigusare be part of the same universe pls pls pls

[thefirstknife]

the guardian shaking a nezarec reliquary like it's canned espresso, getting ready to shotgun it before whatever traumatic event happens next week at season launch

HFKAJHFIF/HSKFHKSJFHKSJF

#destiny 2 #nezarec #ask #LMAO LMAO #honestly me. i would do this. #mithrax make more #actually don't i'm afraid for mithrax like. they didn't mention 'curse of nezarec' for no reason

[thislittlekumquat]

Corrin like "instead of interrogating randos, let's find an old man to talk to! Much better :)"

Even in Birthright she thirsty....

@dirtyoldmanhole

#lmao lmao #vicky plays

[nirikeehan]

Happy friday! "sharing food" from the fluffuary propmts

Thanks, Blue!

Came up with some post-Barovian nonsense for shady besties tonight for @dadrunkwriting

WC: 792

---

She puts the pie down in front of him, steam wafting up from the flaky crust. Metrion’s eyes go wide, as if he’s never seen a shepherd’s pie before. They’re brown in the dim light of Herald’s Rest, but she’s grown used to his many disguises. And his true appearance, his exotic background. She had assured him he wouldn’t need to hide himself at Skyhold, but he’s done it anyway, taking on the part of the unassuming, tan-skinned human. It will take some time, she thinks. 

Thalia hands him a fork and sits on the bench across from him. She stabs her side of the pie with her own. “So. First impressions?” 

“That this is bloody better than wolf jerky.” His voice is muffled by a full mouth, his head bowed over the dish, hair hanging down in his face. He eats like a prisoner might, she has noticed: hunched and frantic, afraid each meal may be his last. Her heart tugs with a little pang of pain.

“I meant Skyhold.” She eats a forkful of gravy, meat and peas, wonderfully seasoned. The cooks know what they’re doing. It’s so good to be home. 

Metrion shrugs. “’S big. Busy. Full of people.” He glances at her quickly. “They all defer to you.” 

Thalia nods. “I am the Inquisitor.�� 

“Yeah, but you never really explained what that means. I think I get it now.” He looks away, to the casks of ale Cabot rolls out from a back room. He taps his empty stein on the table between them. “Be a love and get me another pint, will ya?”

Thalia laughs, but she does as he says. This catches the eye of many in the tavern, but she ignores them. When she returns with the frothing mug, he takes it from her and slings it back. He wipes his mouth, though through the illusion, no foam stands out on his lip. “Is it gonna be a problem?” 

“Is what going to be a problem?” Thalia breaks off a bit of pie crust and chews on it. She has a feeling she knows what he’s getting at, but she intends to make him say it. 

“Me being here. Think there’s at least a dozen blokes ready to defend your honor because I dared make the Inquisitor serve me ale.” He switches mid-sentence to the accent he uses to impersonate nobility. 

Thalia takes a breath. “You’re here because I invited you. You’re under my protection. If anything, you deserve a medal of valor for helping me escape Barovia alive.” 

Metrion chortles into the ale stein. “Sure. Right. Like anyone’ll pin a medal on my chest.” 

“I can,” Thalia retorts. “I will, if you want. In the main hall, in front of everyone.”

“While sitting on your throne, your highness?” 

“It’s technically your worship,” Thalia reminds him. Metrion scoffs, burying his face in one hand. 

She chews her lip. “You don’t have to stay, you know.” The words are painful in her throat, even worse rolling off her tongue. “I just thought, after everything we’ve been through, I didn’t want to you to have to…” Return to old habits, she wants to say, but that feels too judgmental. She’s adamant about not judging him, not the way her team did. Not when he understands her in strange, unexpected ways no one else has, and would have died for her several times over. 

She’s worried, though, that this was perhaps too idealistic of her. That removing Metrion from the environment that exacerbated his worst impulses isn’t enough to break the cycle of shame she’s observed in him. Some behaviors he’s slid right back into. One she’s aided herself, by giving him the ale he requested. 

 His hands don’t shake anymore, at least.

“No, no, no, no.” Metrion waves at her dismissively. “Don’t get me wrong, this is loads better than the streets of Waterdeep or Neverwinter. Just. Takes some gettin’ used to, all right?” 

He digs into the pie again, eating very deliberately while maintaining eye contact, as if to appease her. He has an intense gaze when he wants to, a way of making it seem like she is the only person in the room who matters to him. She knows this is a trick of his, a way to butter up a target, but he does it enough unbidden she suspects it’s also simply the way he is with people he likes. 

They eat in silence for a while.

“This meat really is superb,” Metrion comments, licking his fork clean. He glances at her, a smug smile tugging at his lips. He looks away, feigning wistfulness. “Not as good as Ismark’s, but. You know.” 

Thalia groans with laughter and throws her napkin in his face. 

#dragon age drunk writing circle #fics #thalia trevelyan #metrion the magnificent #shady besties #i may already be devising a sequel to #it's never sunny in barovia #i'm calling it #it's always sunny at skyhold #lmao lmao

[aerodaltonimperial]

Hook and Danhausen start "taking care of" each other's problems and then anyone who might keep them apart.

Sorry it isn't as fully written as others, I need to go eat something.

(An oldie but a goodie in terms of prompts; content warning: gore, blood, um dark shit?)

Your head throbs, in time with your heartbeat. You're aware, in the very vague story sense of the word, that something on the lower end of your body is very, very broken; you aren't quite sure what, but you've lost feeling in your bottom extremities, and you might not know much, but you knows that's bad. You blink up at the ceiling and the tiny circle of light beaming up at the texture. You doesn't know where you are.

Someone is moving on the opposite end of the room, crouched low, but it isn't until the figure moves that you can see clearly. Hook?

Hook glides closer until his face in in full view. He's frowning. "Didn't think you'd wake up."

"Where am I?" you ask. Your throat is on fire, your voice ragged.

"That's a bit of a problem," he continues, ignoring your question entirely. You don't realize there's a door on the opposite side of the room until it opens, spilling yellow brightness within, and then closes again. Somehow, the door closing hammers home that you are not going to get out of this. Hook’s been an odd flutter backstage for weeks, hovering around the peripheral with sharp eyes, and no one has been able to figure out what's going on.

Well, now you know. You wish you'd paid more attention, too caught up in your own shit.

Because Danhausen is here, too, but he's in the face paint that's all wrong. There's crimson streaked across the bottom of his chin as though he's been...eating. That's a hell of a visual you don't need. Mostly, you need to get out: this entire situation has started to shriek against your ears.

"Ready?" Danhausen asks, voice low. It doesn't sound like his normal voice, either, sort of...rough? Scratchy, almost. He's standing straighter than you've ever seen him stand before, shoulders square. It's jarringly wrong.

In front of you, Hook smirks. "Ready." It's only now that you make out the dark stains along Hook’s arms, creeping up to his elbows. Oh, holy shit. This is bad. That's red, dark red.

"You've done well," Danhausen murmurs. He slides closer to Hook and cups the man’s face in one hand. "A very obliging thrall."

"Shut up," Hook says, but he's still smirking. In fact, he's smirking right up until the point when Danhausen leans in to kiss him. It's maybe more of a demand than a kiss. Hook grabs Danhausen’s face and leaves angry red streaks behind, and neither seems to care.

You're going to die; that's obvious now. What a fucking way to go out.

"Everything should be ready," Danhausen says, when they finally pull apart. "Let's begin."

"Okay," Hook agrees. He leans towards you, fingers outstretched.

"Wait," you croak. You want to scrabble against the ground, but you can't feel anything to move. Helpless. A sitting duck. A sacrifice for whatever this is that they've embarked upon. "Wait."

"Nah," Hook says. He grins, and it's terrible, all sharp and knife-like. "Lights out."

That's the last thing you remember. Pretty fucked up, honestly.

#WE ARE BACK BABY #Lmao lmao

[deepcuts]

Still never will be over the fact my mom, and multiple other, older, people told me when I was a literal child that I had ‘evil eyes’ (literally autism stare) plus the fact I have brown eyes that get mocked just as often made me so insecure about my eye’s and eye color, also probably what lead me to dying my hair to black so it wouldn’t match my eyes anymore. I’ve embraced the evil of my eyes, the evil of my soul.

#rambling #lmao lmao #yeah I have evil eyes they work fuckin wonders warding off cruel minded people who harm me

[wild-moss-art]

the things that go bump in the night that you can’t see

#dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #fire emblem three houses #fire emblem #fe3h #blue lions #my art #tw blood #?? #tw uhhh idk how to tag #ask to tag #brain signals be like #your neck by alkaline trio #vent art? or primary color study??? #lmao lmao #broke: Dimitri is blue coded #woke: Dimitri is primary triad coded #myart

[virtue-and-beneviolence]

How much do you think Hanma knew about Kisaki's obsession with Hina?

What do you think his opinion was about it?

I always figured Hanma made little teasing comments about how there are better women out there and try to get him hooked up with a girl at a bar or something

which moot is so kindly indulging me in my unreasonably long rants? i love you endlessly

I don't think Hanma would have asked much early in their friendship but as Michi starts leaping and fixing shit and forcing plans to change, there's no chance Hanma doesn't know by then. And bro by the time high school and beyond rolls around Shuji had to have been so fucking amused that Kisaki was so torn up over some blandass vanilla sweethearted chick.

a bitch goes off on a rambling disaster of headcanons.

Like, we've got Shuji who lives life seemingly only for the rush of adrenaline, partnered up with a little yandere incel who's rattling off convoluted ass plans to start killing people to punish this girl who's clearly into crybabies,,,,and I think half his daily fun comes from riling Kisaki up about the situation.

Hanma makes the most stupid and mundane bets with Kissaki, and being the ultimate gambler (and probably cheater in some cases) that he is, he always wins and always set his pal up on dates that he had crashed on more than one occasion and caused some undue chaos for the laughs

Hanma 100% hires sex workers for Kisaki but they almost always end up acting like his therapist in a very Holden-Caulfield-Chic turn of events. They don't mind, usually, as long as they get paid, but the few times a girl has blown up at Shuji over his friend's drunken and probably upsetting depressive antics, Hanma has delighted in tossing them over his shoulder and passing them off to a bouncer in a routine he likes to call "time out."

Hanma is the wingman Kisaki not only didn't ask for but actively discourages. A pretty girl waiting on them who asks about Kiskai's jewelry and listens to him go off about fine wine with a little sparkle in her eye? You KNOW Shuji is gonna go out of his wait to mention her pretty strawberry blonde hair and how she's just his type, sweet and innocent and pliable but such a hard worker. Hanma has his people learn about her schedules and drives Kisaki crazy with his insistence that he has to take the girl out.

I wouldn't out it past Shuji to set up a whole all (meme-y) intervention for Kisaki where he goes down a line of his favorite working girls to highlight their favorite things to do and talents and shit. All in the name of convincing Kisaki to A) get his dick wet and relax on the workload he's giving the guys and B) remind him there are other, hotter, cooler girls out there and he's wasting his precious youth pining after a dollar store girl next door when he could have a n y o n e now. The intervention actually serves to send the girls off on some lucrative benders with some of the other execs.

In the end, I think Shuji's teasing devolves into, the oh-so-it's-not-about-the-girls-clearly-you-want-me territory and Kisaki doesn't know if the early teasing or the late stage teasing is worse.

sorry not sorry for the hina slander but from shuji's perspective the most interesting thing about hina is the concept of corrupting her and you all know it.

#hanma shuji #kisaki tetta #hanma shuji headcanons #kisaki tetta headcanons #virtue literally s h u t #lmao lmao #sorry for the hina slander

[damage-incorp0rated]

happy early birthday to me from me

#i am one happy camper fellas #i played the shit out of this game in 2018 and 2019. only thing i regret? my friend did a lot of the campaign for me #i never truly beat it #so im gonna try to beat it on my own #oh my dad also got this for me for my tenth birthday when it came out!!!!!!!!!!!! very fitting for me to get it again for my 15th birthday #lmao lmao #random thoughts w/ hardy

[half-gone-prince]

How about I blow your brains out instead ayyyyy

AAYYY I'm a lazy fuck so do it toots

#lmao lmao

[ashortdropandasuddenstop]

Ragetti and pintel both wandered up to the admiral.

"If ye like tha' captain so much, why dontcha marry him" pintel laughed.

Ragetti joined "Yeah, why dontcha".

(@captainofthepearl)

" .. Oh would you two just shut it? " He rolls his eyes.  He'd not realized the two had been watching him enjoy the praise/petting session. “ Or it will be YOU going for a swim next. “  He glowers.

#captainofthepearl #lmao lmao #v: former commodore #Barbossington #Barbossa's Pet Commodore

[eddiekinkston]

billy whats 16 for u!!

ok i listened to this when i played rockband 1 back in 2008 and it stuck ig

#lmao lmao #spotify wrapped 2022

[potatoes-tomatoes]

(for the ask game!!) buttercup, plum, cinnamon, mahogany, fuchsia ❤️❤️❤️

Not plum being the constant trait 😭😭😭 um, cinnamon right back at you fucker and you know what? mahogany as well. Ur SP takes are 🤌🏼✨ Your writing?? Godly. 💥🥊

#cel answers #cel speaks #omg fuchsia? 😳🫣🤭😏🫶 #let’s have the ceremony at South Park Studios bro let’s goooo #lmao lmao

[mikey-ways-dogshit-bread]

If King Charles dies on or before March 25th, 2024, he will technically be the shortest-reigning king in English history.

Anyway, like to charge, reblog to cast.

#king charles #king charles iii #king edward #king edward viii #march 25 #the royal leech #royal family #britain #lmao #like to charge #reblog to cast

[bokkerijder]

pro-AI in the sense of "they taught a bread scanning computer to recognize cancer cells" etc etc

against AI in the sense of "we stole artwork from hundreds to thousands of artists, didn't credit them and didn't financially compensate them"

#rambles '24 #ok to reblog btw #all my posts are ok to reblog #if not i would make them unrebloggable lmao #edit: i am a fool #i said that thinking this would maybe get 5 notes or something #and now we're here lol