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#me when i fart
sohaoying · 2 months
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i'm in the house like carpet
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ganondoodle · 7 months
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me: finally im able to cope with how much i hate totk and can fuel that energy into other things :)
nintendy: the shiekah tech just dissappeared and no one knows why or cares enough to investigate it lol. lmao. its gone bc the calamity is gone or something even tho it literally isnt bc ganondorf is right there haha lol, stop asking, why do you care. just forget it existed and look at that sexy goatman and glue instead!! glue! isnt that wild?? also its totally a direct, 100% same universe and exact same characters, despite them act totally out of character, sequel to botw-
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majimasleftasscheek · 9 months
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Adachiwagi... thoughts??
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I think they're cute! I don't have much of an opinion on them but as an Adachi enjoyer, I very much enjoy their interactions and think they fit very well together 😊 they're funny too so that's a plus in my book 👀
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paw-padss · 1 month
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the sun has long since set, and the sky is now only illuminated by the gentle glow of the moon and the twinkle of her surrounding stars. The wind blows steadily in the quiet streets as everyone seeks refuge for the night.
everyone except you.
sitting anxiously by the door, careful not to do so much as a wink, for you might fall asleep and miss it.
miss him.
you don't want to miss him as he walks through the door, with his red hair tied back in a messy ponytail and a tired smile plastered on his face. his musk invading your senses as he practically falls into your embrace, quietly mumbling about his day as he gently kisses along your neck and collarbone.
you don't want to miss the opportunity to lead him to the kitchen table, hanging up his coat along the way, and seating him next to you as you both share a quiet, late dinner.
falling asleep now would mean you wouldn't get to follow him into the bathroom, using the toilet as your seat while he's in the shower, sharing remarks about your day. Eventually, brush your teeth side-by-side in front of the cramped sink.
and then you would follow him to the bedroom, curling up next to him as you both let the stress of the day melt into the sheets, exchanging I love you's before allowing your eyes to close and falling asleep wrapped up in each other's embrace.
that, is why you cannot risk closing your eyes at this moment, you cannot risk the chance to finally enjoy a calming nighttime routine with Diluc.
you must not.
your eyes dart to the clock and back to the door, the minutes tick by ever so slowly, and your brain starts to feel a bit foggy.
you blink.
or at least you thought you did, but when you open your eyes, you can smell the aroma of breakfast wafting in from the kitchen and sunlight creeping through the window shade.
slowly crawling out of bed, you see the sight that you had been wishing to see all night.
red hair draped around his shoulders, a tan apron pressed around his figure, and a pair of pajamas. Diluc stood in front of the stove, turning around to greet you.
even though you didn't get to say good night, at least you got to say good morning.
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tomouraline · 2 months
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you know where to find me / and i know where to look ….
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bixels · 3 months
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I apologize for this thinly veiled attempt to push some of my own favorite media, disguised as an ask, but, have you ever seen Centaurworld?
I watched the first season and enjoyed it more than I thought I would. Laughed out loud at the jokes and watched it till the end. Didn't watch the second season though because I heard it wasn't good. I felt like season one had so much chatter and hype and as soon as season two dropped, nobody was talking about it anymore.
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froog-water · 4 months
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warning!! gore under the cut!!
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that's terrible cable management. tear it out
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frchillingrn · 7 months
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Was doing a muscle study or whatevahhh it’s called and decided to slap johnnys face on there 💪
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anonymous-fartist · 7 months
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ok hear me out but have u ever thought of torture w it? Like ofc consensual but like chaining someone up and continuously ripping mad ass in their lap ((they can't get away))
or someone doing THAT to YOU🧁🌺🎀
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My boyfriend sent me this fucking amazing scenario and it's all I've been able to think about
So I've written this piece for it
Enjoy, I know I fucking did ^-^
CONTENT WARNINGS: Gas (of course), restraints, dubious consent/mild torture (with the gas), mild knifeplay, read at your own risk fellas ~~~
You’d known this would happen, really. When he’d taken you out to eat — to that lovely pasta place you two loved to visit — he’d ordered way more than you knew he could handle. All that free bread, too. You’d watched him. It didn’t take long for his stomach to start its familiar protest, gurgling and grumbling under his shirt while he drove. Each time it did, he’d wince, and pull a pained little face. You could tell he was trying to ignore it, to keep it out of the conversation, but you just couldn’t let that happen.
You were poking fun. Literally, and figuratively. Teasing, taunting, reaching out to prod at his gut. He couldn’t exactly push you away — you were in the passenger seat, right next to him — and with every jab, you could feel how full he was. Poor guy. He grit his teeth, and tried to endure it. “I’m fine.” He’d insisted. “Just… lay off it, ok?” Like hell you’d listen to that. More teasing, poking, bratty little retorts. Almost like you were having a conversation with his bubbling belly.
You could tell it pissed him off. He furrowed his dark brows, cheeks burning and shoulders hunched. He kept hissing little demands, pleading, asking you to stop. Softly at first, but more forcefully, the more you teased and sassed. You ignored him, like a brat. By the time you’d gotten home, he practically slammed the door of the car shut, storming inside stiffly. Fuming.
You followed close behind. “What’s the matter??” You giggled, hovering over his shoulder. “Too embarrassed to admit you have gas??”
You saw his jaw clenched the second you uttered those words. His sharp eyes darting, staring daggers at you. You’d never seen him look so stern. It sent a chill down your spine, and you faltered a little. Clearly not enough to deter him, though. He shot an arm out, grabbing at your wrist with surprising strength. His grip was so tight it hurt. You couldn’t have pulled away even if you wanted to — much to his amusement — and with a firm yank, he pulled you closer to him, lowering his mouth to your ear. His voice was husky.
“I warned you to watch your fucking mouth.” He seethed. Oh dear god…
He practically pulled you off your feet, dragging you halfway across the house, towards your shared bedroom. He was rough, and the corners of his lips twitched up into a sadistic-looking grin. His stomach continued to growl, softly, under his hand.
Grrrmmm…
He winced. If he was in pain, it didn’t last long, though, when he threw you carelessly onto the bedspread. His usual tenderness had all but entirely seeped from him, replaced with frustration and… well, a killer stomachache, you supposed. You barely had time to retain your composure before he grabbed you again. Your eyes went wide.
In your daze, he’d gone digging through the drawers by the bed. In his hands, he held a thick length of chain. By this point, his smirk had spread into a full grin, and he regarded you with wide, dark eyes. “Teach you a fuckin’ lesson, huh?” He muttered, almost to himself, as he yanked your arms up. You yelped — which he paid no attention to — and felt the cold restraint rubbing against your wrists.
Good lord. He was tying you to the bedframe.
“What the fuck-?” You managed to stammer, before a low growl cut you off. You couldn’t tell whether it came from his throat of his belly. He ignored your confusion. The restraint was tight, and held your poor arms up high, behind your head. No matter how hard you squirmed, the damn thing wouldn’t budge. Shit. You instantly regretted letting him practice so much on you.
He sat before you on the bed, taking a second to admire you. He chuckled deeply to himself, his voice rumbling in his chest. That laugh. It frightened you. “Not so cocky now, huh??” It was his turn to tease. His tone caused your cheeks to burn, and you lowered your eyes, squirming. Trying to tug on the chains. No luck.
He shuffled closer, putting a firm hand on your knee. He was warm. There was no way he was gonna… not now, right?? All because you teased him a little?? … He shuffled a little, from his place in front of you, sitting himself back down. Right in your lap. His weight pressed against your thighs, and the gesture took you by surprise, your eyes going wide.
His poor, overstuffed belly gave a low gurgle. It was a more desperate sound, and he huffed, placing his other hand on his side. Giving it a quick rub. “I can’t say you were wrong, though.” He chuckled. “I’ve been, ahem… holding back. For your sake.”
What the fuck was that supposed to mean??You cocked your head, shooting him a confused look. All he did was laugh. And give a soft grunt. The unmistakable sound echoed through the room, and you felt it ripple against your lap, heating the area where he sat. You went stiff. No way he just…
But then the smell hit. God, it was awful. Fucking putrid, really, a disgusting concoction of whatever bullshit he’d eaten throughout the day. He sighed, in relief no doubt, while you thrashed about, turning your head, trying pathetically to escape the damn stench. Your arms were bound. Your couldn’t plug your nose, no matter how bad you tried. It burned.
His sadistic grin never once left his face, eyes scouring your writhing form. He was clearly amused. You could tell by the smug lilt in his voice. “I saved that just for you.” He seethed, grinding himself further against your leg. “Smells lovely, hmm?” You practically gagged. He clicked his tongue.
“Tsk, tsk, so unappreciative. Such a brat.”
You felt ashamed to be blushing at his words.
“God, that’s foul…” You managed to mutter. He scoffed, narrowing his eyes. That look, the one that made your blood run cold, returned to his face.
… He leaned over your pitiful form, reaching into a drawer behind you. He pulled out something metallic, that glinted under the dim light seeping through the closed blinds. A blade. Why the fuck did he have a knife on hand??
Never-mind that, though, because you had no time to think. Within a few seconds, he’d twirled it in his trained hand, and pressed the cold metal right against your collarbone. Your breath hitched. It was so close. You really had to watch that temper of his. “Watch yourself.” He demanded, shifting around in his seat. Still firmly pressed into your lap.
Grrrgggllmm…
He let out a shaky breath, biting his lip, and forced out another fetid, rippling burst. He strained to push it out, and you were worried he’d let the knife at your throat slip in the struggle. But he held it still.
Jesus Christ, the smell. Somehow worse the second time. You let out a sharp cough, and forced yourself to hold your breath. Blinking back the tears from your watery eyes. He didn’t seem to take too kindly to this, and with his only free hand, reached up towards your face, clamping it over your mouth. You couldn’t breathe.
You had no choice. You could usually hold it for a while, but god, it had taken you by surprise. Air was running thin, and it wasn’t long before you were forced to inhale sharply, through your nose.
Goddamn repulsive. He seemed overjoyed by your whines.
“You love it.” He hissed, pressing the cold metal further against your nape. One wrong move, and it’d slice straight from shoulder to jaw. “Go on, tell me. You love it.” You had no choice but to comply.
“I-… I love it.” Your words were muffled into his hands. His grin twitched cruelly.
“It smells good, huh??” “It… fuck-… it smells so good…”
So fucking degrading. You could tell it excited him. His rhythmic grinding against your thigh told you more than enough.
“You want more. Go on. Beg for me.” … You considered resisting, but a flick of his wrist reminded you who was in charge. You let out a strangled whimper. “I said beg.”
“Shit-… Please. Please, I want more.”
He tittered in mock disgust. “You’re fucking filthy.”
But he did as you’d asked. He lowered the hand clasping at your face, and pressed the heel of his palm into his stomach, causing it to growl and churn. He was coaxing more out, you could hear it. You have a last-ditch effort to tug at your wrists, trying one last time to free yourself. Hah. No luck.
The next one sounded awful. Loud, long, and almost sickly, damn near surprising him as well. It was a miracle that he could handle his own damn brand. Was this the kind of shit he was holding daily?? It almost made you regret picking on him so frequently.
“Go on.” He urged you. You were too light-headed to protest. You just hoped to god he’d spare you soon.
“It smells lovely-…” You stammered, swallowing back a gag as you spoke. “Th-… Thank you.”
“Good.”
For your good behaviour, he loosened the grip on his knife, giving you a little more room to breathe. Not that it’d help. Every single sniffle was tainted. And there you were, drinking it in, begging like some sort of animal. If he’d wanted to teach you a lesson, he’d made his point clear as fucking day.
But he wasn’t done with you yet. There was plenty more where that came from, you could tell. Might as well make the most of it. You could be there for a while.
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nalpurex · 1 month
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i got souyo brainworms again and i gotta share some thoughts i have
this ones a long one so ill put a 'keep reading' thing here just in case yall dont wanna scroll past a wall of text
basically some headcanons about a healthy mix of chad narukami and normal yu, injecting loads of gap moe into this guy
(and it eventually devolves into some weird semi-story because my brains really spiralling here)
okok so, hear me out, chad narukami isnt that bad as an idea...? maybe as a more calm iteration, just another layer to yu
in the p4 manga, we get to see some of yu's backstory. (its been a while since ive read it so i might get some details wrong but) his parents are very busy people, always working and moving around, so yu's always moving around with them
because of this, hes a very independent but also lonely kid. poor guy doesnt talk much with his own mom and dad, and he never really have a good enough chance to form lasting friendships
so when he moves to inaba and starts making friends there, hes like 'oh i really want to keep these guys around...' so he starts putting up a bit of a persona (hah), some cool, unfazed guy that everyone can rely on thinking thats what people might like more. to his credit, it works pretty well, but its a bit stifling for yu himself. hes never had this many friends though, so he'll keep it up
we all know yosuke admires him quite a fair bit as is, just as a dependable friend and a strong leader. he looks up to yu in these aspects, thinking hes basically the perfect guy. (and lets never unpack that thought.) talented, charming, 'gets all the ladies', that kind of stuff
at some point its just the two of them, maybe walking home from school or something, yu gets pretty comfortable and his facade slips a little. maybe he says something completely silly, or heavens forbid theres a stray cat along the road! ("awww look at the little guy, cmeree, pspsps- oh- ahem- uh, its pretty cute...") it surprises yosuke quite a bit. he's thinking about it a lot as they part ways, it was... definitely a new side to his partner, but its also not a bad thing...
after that, yosuke starts noticing more small things about yu. whenever he invites anyone to share his lunch, its always something they like. whenever the IT are talking, he makes sure no one feels left out. he likes cats, a lot more than hes willing to show, and he loves nanako a whole lot too. his partner's... a bit of a softie under that calm and collected vibe, isnt he?
(alternatively, it'd be really funny if the entire IT knew? like "yeah, hes got a straight face all the time and sparkles fly around him whenever he strikes a pose, but hes got a dedicated schedule for hanging out with us and hes always asking when we're free. hes a big puppy, really.")
anyways, yosuke tries to encourage him to show more of this other side of him. stuff like "c'mon, we'll think you're cool either way!" and yu at first is a little hesitant, so yosuke suggests he just try it out with him
he feels some pride about it, because hes the first to learn about this side of yu! his partner trusts him the most, hes the most comfortable around him! (whats this strange other feeling? hm. dont like that.)
yu takes a little more time with the others, but theyre very welcoming about it nonetheless. specifically, they find it very charming! (making cute shapes in your bento? sewing cute stuffed toys with kanji? playing with literally every single stray cat you lay your eyes on? hell yeag.)
of course the facade doesnt completely shatter, because some parts of it are still true to yu. its just that he'll now crack the dumbest joke youve heard in your life with the same old straight face
(aaand now to derail for the sappy stuff huhuhu)
because yosuke's usually the first to be exposed to whatever new shenanigans yu's up to, eventually he starts getting some... weirder things. he brings some of it up to the other IT members and he looks insane, like:
"what? he hasnt been giving you guys origami?"
"why would he? i mean itd be cool, but thats just his part-time job isnt it? hes probably sick of paper cranes!"
"cranes... haha, yeah..." (as he thinks about the row of stupid paper animals sitting on his windowsill)
yu over time starts getting real sweet with yosuke, and he kind of gets the feeling he should just... keep this to himself...? especially when he doesnt see him acting this way with anyone else, and a small part of him wants to keep it to himself. all of this, just for him.
but that would be kind of gay, wouldnt it? hes not gay, is he...? he gets pretty happy whenever yu smiles at him, whenever he does something for him, but its just because he appreciates him as his partner... right?
eventually it all comes to a head when yu invites him to that... that spot high up in inaba. (ykno the one, its got the railing and shit.)
yosuke's climbing the hill, wondering whats yu gonna tell him, and at the top he sees him already waiting there as the sun's about to set on a nice breezy day
he kinda jokes a bit about it, like "damn did you ask me to come here now for the atmosphere?" but yu's strangely quiet
so they kinda just stand in a bit of an awkward silence before yu clears his throat... and confesses to yosuke.
...
they just. stare at each other for a bit. yosuke's at a loss, heat slowly rising in his cheeks, because what the hell?
and then yu explodes into a flustered mess, bumbling about "hey yeah man you dont have to accept if you dont wanna, i was just saying things yknow? you dont really have to-"
yosuke cuts him off, sighing a little. he tells him its okay, hes kinda had a feeling he felt the same way but he wasnt ready yet... and now his partner's confessing to his face, he cant really put it off anymore, can he?
("by the way, did you plan this? like, the timing and everything?"
"i... had a hard enough time saying 'i like you' with a straight face as it was, i kind of had to..."
"... ah.")
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macomico · 1 year
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sifting thru oldies but goldies <3
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gummi-ships · 1 year
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seabeck · 4 months
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my dad does home inspections and has done for more than a decade, and only like two of the local realty teams have learned not to lie to him. the others are always like oh it's a perfect house :) what foundation problems? no the electricity is perfect. there are no crawlspace scorpions.
Where's that handshake meme with "car salesman, realtors: being lying scumbags"
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thsc-confessions · 9 months
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"People hcing Galeforce as a responsible and sometimes a no nonsense father and authority figure forget that the man:"
"Had a criminal kidnapped to throw him at other criminals so he could help take them down because of a hunch"
"Has a helicopter pilot employed that has a penchant to wanting to slam copters into things"
"Has information on Ellie and possibly other criminals for probably wanting to throw them at other criminals"
"His first reaction for the Toppat Rocket Station being destroyed was just 'excellent work'"
"The old fart is probably more unhinged then he lets on." submitted by anon
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(WALNUT!! WHEN I CATCH YOU WALNUT. WALNUT WHEN I CATCH YOU-)
@walnutcookiesstuff
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