#me. points. that's autism babey

[pocketsizedquasar]

i def understand criticisms of botw/totk link being unexpressive/ppl wishing he was more so (& this is not a dig at the ppl making those criticisms), but also, as an autistic who has trouble regulating my facial expressions/expressing emotions 'normally,' i rly like link as he is

like idk i never personally was upset by the 'silent/emotionless' videogame protagonist thing, partially bc i dont have much video game exposure in general & it was some of the first stuff i encountered, but also bc like. that's just how i am ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ that's how i interact with the world / how i Would Naturally interact with the world if i wasn't forced to constantly mask in order to be treated as "normal" and worth talking to

#totk #botw #loz #legend of zelda #tears of the kingdom #breath of the wild #link #quasartalks #idk i felt the same way about byleth feth too esp bc in that game they also in Canon were like #yeah this character just has trouble expressing emotions #me. points. that's autism babey #and i understand the criticisms for sure of link bc especially when compared to his dialogue options his behavior in cutscenes doesn't line #...up. so it does feel like inconsistent writing sometimes #i get that #however comma #some ppl i feel like get a little too. comfortable saying shit like Oh no ~normal~ person reacts like this to things oh it's so unrealistic #..that xyz emotional things happen and he doesn't have a visual response i recognize #like. u might think it's not ~normal~ but a lot of us do that #also i dont necessarily think that like. link was Intended to be autistic tm by nintendo just bc of this #i just like to read him that way

[lumiereandcogsworth]

me writing fic

#i was just writing a family fluff scene and at some point everyone - adam belle and their daughters - all stim or fidget with SOMETHING lmao #and i was like afjdkfj. just gotta pepper in the fact that they’re all nd babey!!! #for the record if anyone cares: adam is autistic - belle has adhd - juliette is audhd - renée has ocd and Maybe something else. she’s a bit #of a mystery to me but she definitely isn’t normal your honor 🫶 #(maurice has adhd too he’s just not born yet in this fic) #anyway lmaooo. this is ok to rb if anyone relates #op #fic #ao3 #ao3commentoftheday #writeblr #writblr #neurodivergent #autism #adhd #writing

[pixiestein]

bigstupid ramble/rant incoming feel free to ignore//cursing cw

it’s actually very disturbing to me how many people in the monster high fandom think it’s ok to say that abbey & twylas g1 sculpts are “ugly” or “offputting” because they have strong/square jaws & the new molds are sooo much better bc they no longer have them. like i really really really try to be nice here & pardon my language but are you fucking stupid? did you miss literally everything monster high was trying to teach you? did you miss the whole “everyone is unique & beautiful in their own way” thing? or did you just forget that the features you’re calling ugly are features that real people have? genuinely asking because it’s baffling to me how many people who praise g3 for it’s body diversity are foaming at the mouth excited over characters’ unique features being replaced with conventionally attractive ones. u don’t like strong jawlines? awesome, people who have them still deserve to feel beautiful & have gorgeous dolls that look like them & the fact that mh had that & got rid of it is objectively bad. like first of all, a franchise that preaches accepting ppls differences SHOULD have characters with both body types & facial features that aren’t considered “conventionally attractive”. that was one of the issues w g1, their message was about everyone being different but everyone had the exact some skinny body type. & now g3 has greatly improved on body diversity (pls give us an actual plus sized doll tho) yet they’ve been removing diversity in facial features. it fucks me up bc WHY can’t we have rep for diverse body types AND rep for diverse facial features?? and second, bro they are literally monsters. they absolutely should have features that challenge traditional beauty standards because hello she’s a yeti, she needs jaw space to house those bigass tusks. and if those unconventional features look strange to you? GOOD. bask in their strange weird abnormal beauty!! i literally don’t care if u think abbeys new face is cuter & her old jaw was ugly, if you see a person with a prominent jawline & think “hm not aesthetically pleasing enough” unpack that with your therapist, don’t post it on the internet where impressionable kids with those exact features get to see it & gather more fuel for their insecurities. this goes for literally any facial feature or body part btw. basically, bottom line, if it’s a feature that real people have that they can’t control, don’t fucking say a WORD about how aesthetically unpleasant you find it. criticize the fashion, criticize the quality control & messed up face screenings, criticize the weird continuity errors & questionable representation, but if your issue with a doll is their body type/facial features look ugly to u, shut the fuck up!!!!!!

#NOT trying to be mean i’m just a very confrontational person #ac if u think that conventionally attractive ‘cute’ faces are better than diverse features then maybe i am trying to b mean to you #this might all be poorly worded & sound stupid but that’s just me babey!! #gibe us fuckigng uhhhh more diverse features give us big noses give us downturned eyes give us sharp cheekbones gib is chubby faces pls #if i was in charge of monster high it would have zero issues & i genuinely believe that #i am allowed a little hubris. as a treat. #yofhsgsjd cleo w classic egyptian features deuce w a classic greek nose #buff girls???? ik the bodies are better but they still follow the hourglass shape w narrow shoulders giv me BIG ARMS girl #honestly at this point i’m just making my own monster high bc neither g1 or g3 have everything i want from the franchise #maybe it’s mostly ppl on ig that are being weird abt the face sculpts idk maybe i’m too worked up #i just get so into monster high stuff i get so passionate #maybe i’ll delete idk #happy disability month the undiagnosed autism is going bananas this evening #cw cursing #cw swearing #monster high #mh #monster high dolls #monster high gen 1 #monster high gen 3 #mh g1 #mh g3 #abbey bominable #twyla boogeyman #rant

[catadromously]

please tell me more about the alterhuman thing in your recent post (whether your experience or things in general) if you are comfortable! i would love to know more. i know very little about it other than some brief descriptions from impersonal online sources, but the way your blog mentions tiny things here and there like blurring human/animal divisions, or conscious/nonliving or even tangible/conceptual things makes me feel seen, so i imagine the alterhuman topic would not be so foreign a concept to me or other tumblr users in this sort of niche :)

no indeed! alterhumanity is a term encompassing nonhuman identities of all sorts; most well-known are probably the -kin people with specific creature identities, but the umbrella is wide. my experience is not otherkin and I have no specific nonhuman being to point to. I'm simply nonhuman in general. I just am. I'm an Entity, Creature, Visitor, Other, and have been my whole life.

alterhumanity can also involve partial (or, uh, altered) human identity, and thus, like a fair few other alterhumans out there, I see myself as partially - or at least functionally - human as well! I understand myself alongside "disguised as human" or "chosen human" or "caught between worlds" narratives; as long as I can remember I've felt this ... almost painful seen-ness and protectiveness over those sorts of characters when I encounter them in fiction. I think the best label description of my alterhumanity is generally nonhuman and Chimera or Chosen Human archetrope. archetropy my beloved...

now I do know exactly why I'm like this, and yes, it is the autism. big shocker. I'm sure I'll see some fellow autistics nodding along when I say that for many and multifarious reasons my experience of the world, through most of life, was not conducive to the formation of a human self-identity. simple as that. that's psychological alterhumanity for you, babey! sometimes it's felt practical, sometimes deeply painful and othering, but now, after a whole damn lot of Stuff and Happenings, I find it freeing. I've made the choice to embrace and embody my alterhumanity and my position as a Visitor and Chimera to the human sphere. I like it here. I'm here to stay, in my Other self, in my beloved improbable human life. I am cringe, yes, and I am free.

sometimes I run across people complaining about alterhumans (and especially -kin) as some kind of deeply embroiled online-exclusive microphenomenon, and I have to laugh a little. you know, all of these people probably already know someone like me, just out here chugging along in our normal-ass lives, being creatures. we're elders and children, we have families and friends and careers, we can be super obvious about our identities, or nonchalant, or secretive. we're everywhere!

if you've got an alterhuman in your life, say hi to them for me today, ok? tell them an internet stranger wants them to know they're never alone in this.

<3

#call and response

[aihoshiino]

yo, ai is really canon autistic??

I'm like 99.999% certain, yeah! At the very least, Ai is canonically neurodivergent – specifically, she has some form of developmental disability (発達障害 hattatsu shougai) which is an umbrella term used in both English and Japanese to refer to neurodivergencies such as autism, ADHD, Tourette Syndrome and various other learning disabilities. In fact, if you google 発達障害, the first result will be a (Japanese) government website defining the term and listing examples and the first one it defines is autism.

This term is used to refer to Ai in both 45510 and in chapter 28 of the manga - I had trouble finding a raw of the original Japanese chapter but Akane can clearly be heard saying hattatsu shougai out loud at the equivalent point in episode 7 of the anime.

For transparency's sake, I don't know that Ai has ever been referred to specifically as autistic (自閉スペクトラム症 jihei spectrum shou) in either the text of the manga or in Word of God material but googling around in Japanese fan spaces had me come across a lot of folks speculating or otherwise pretty certain that she was supposed to be read as being autistic or having ADHD. In addition, hattasu shougai is a very specific term to reach for not once but twice and that combined with the way Ai is characterized has me pretty certain that this is authorial intent on the table.

Akane's big infodump and the information contained in it is pretty telling, imo:

None of these things are unique to autism, obviously, but 'sharp hearing and sense of smell' (alternately translated as sensitive) combined Ai's struggles with matching people's names and faces (a possible indication of faceblindness) and her general struggles with empathy and intuiting other people's feelings feel very deliberate to me.

There's also things like her always dressing in loose/baggy clothing when she's picking her own outfits (possibly indicating some sensory issues) and what Akane says here about her holding her chopsticks 'a little crooked' (that's the fine motor skills issues, babey!).

This is also way more anecdotal and not a slam dunk, but there's also the fact that the Venn Diagram of diagnosed autistic people in my friend circle who like Oshi no Ko and diagnosed autistic people in my friend circle who have pointed at Ai Hoshino and gone "she is Literally Me" is a single circle. I have literally lost count of the amount of times a friend has brought up some hyperspecific aspect of their lived experience as an autistic person and pointed it out in Ai and her behaviour and it's like... at some point you just have to start calling a duck a duck, you know?

#oshi no ko #oshi no posting #ai hoshino #hoshino ai

[punkeropercyjackson]

As an irl punk who consumes tons of media due to autism,it's astonishing to me how people insist characters who turned into child abusing or even fascistic villains had no choice but to turn out that way because they had shit tons of childhood trauma-The whole reason i'm punk is BECAUSE i have a big ass load of childhood trauma.And i don't mean 'Well SOME of us are taught healing coping mechanisms so they should've known better!!',i've gone to therapy exactly twice in my life so i had to learn to cope BY MYSELF and y'know what the first one i did was?Saying 'fuck you' to everyone who hurt me by refusing to be as cruel as they were to me and spreading kindness to everyone i met so they wouldn't have to go through what i did and it WORKED not just for me but in healing the other survivors i've befriended and even as a kid i was always nice to my younger siblings and used to get into fights with bullies for picking on me and my schoolmates,none of who were even my friends

"But they're fighting the system that hurt them!!!!"And is the direct action they take to dismantle it and replace it with a beneficial and fair one instead of spending time fucking around destroying the lives of people who have no power in it in the room with us right now?

"They have so many symptoms they can't help but evil!"Skill issue.I'm cluster b with ptsd and four neurodivergent disorders including autism and they's been beating my ass since i turned 18 and i'm completely unmedicated and that's made people treat ME badly,not the other way around,and there's no such thing as 'mental ilness that turns you evil' and my friends with more stigmatized ones than me can confirm it

"They never fit in anywhere so why should they try to be a good person instead of giving in?"Yeah,that's called sellingout.You think nobody who's super earnest and optimistic and presents in a way that's deemed 'weird' by society is that way of spite in addition to it just being their personality?That's me and it got me tons of friends and TWO girlfriends and maxing out my inner child's healing points babey!!!

"Not EVERYONE can choose to be good!"You literally can regardless of what you've been through and what you were born as and if they choose to do bad things instead with no redeeming themselves ever then they're also A FUCKING PUSSY

#I'M RIGHT! #pastel punk tag #solarpunk #acab #socialism #anarchism #indiepunk #autigender #genderpunk #afropunk #traumapunk #riot grrrl #catkin #dragonkin #ghostkin #actuallyautistic #blackness #black femme #trans #anti kylo ren #anti reylo #anti slytherin #anti harry potter #the WHOLE franchise including fanon #anti luke castellan #lotor deserved worse #anti slade wilson #anti joker #hopepunk #summerposting

[roachemoji]

NEW ST LIVE BLOGGING bc i lost my old thread lmao S1 06-08 (but not really i need to rewatch the end again)

Episode 6

OKAY im starting like halfway through ep 6 again

the AUTISM in the first 30 seconds of this episode starting up again lmao EL calling him a mouth breather because its the first insult she fucking hears??? Yea YEAH

GOD JOYCE IN A TURTLE NECK <- my mom (hold oni have to jump back up here because I completetly skipped the part about Jane and her mom and the connection to El and i feel like its a little too on the nose that thats who El is given how much ive seen and read about the fuckery and connections in this show so im waiting on that - unless it is just... that. AKJHD)

I LOVE DUSTIN SO MUCH WHY DO I NEVER HEAR ANYTHING ABOUT HIM LIKE WHAT THE FUCK

hes SO smart holy shit i mean they all are but his interpersonal skills are so JUST YEAH CALL THEM OUT CALL THEM OUT also his quiet "ok" when he pushes that theyre all his best friends UGH

is this the scene is this the i think im about to watch the thing i just OH MAN HE JUST CLOCKED HIM WHO STRADDLES A MAN LIKE THAT WHEN YORUE FIGHTING HELLO

damn

anyway sorry Johnathan and Nancy Platonic Soulmates Best Friends Forever im making them bracelets !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh man i was gonna mention the van that Lucas saw but i forgot also GOD DUSTIN IS THE ONLY ONE WITH FUCKIGN SENSE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH boys boys boys boys boys

I FORGOT HE PISSED HIS FUCKING PANTS LMAO

JUST PISS YOUR PANTS???? oh he okay yeah i though the was actually asking him to just piss his fucking pants

DUSTIN JUST SACRIFICING HIMSELF WHY DO I NOT HEAR MORE ABOUT HIM ACTUALLY

SO what would happen if Mike had like died what would happen if those kids had caused his death like wouold they have just ran and left Dustin or pushed him off or what like AKJSHDSKAJHD

IM SORRY THE SONG WHEN EL SHOWS UP IS SO FUCKING FUNNY

El exxperiencing PTSD so vividly breaks my fucking heart like girlie i understand i understan di do i reall really do god im so sorry BABY GIRL ITS OKAY AOOIASUDSKAH SHE OPENED THE GATE DAMN gonna like swaddle her or something god

im sorry the squad of white vans going to kidnap children is a little too on the fucking nose for me

---

Episode 7

real talk could El not just explode them what if El just exploded them i mean obviously theres OTHER consequences like... killing people BUt i mean.

SHE IDNT EXPLODE THE VAN BUT I MEAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT GUY IS PROBABLY DEAD SO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pausing to say something actually: How child abuse is depicted so far in the show is very scary to me in how real it feels. To be a kid in those situations, to not understand the power you weild because an adult as manipulated you into believing that you're helpless? That the only person you can rely on is them, even as they're actively harming you? Brenner being aware of the harm that El can cause him but believing so strongly in the hold he has on her and therefore he is above consequence, above harm? fucking yucky The scene of him giving her the potted flower made my stomach sink. Felt a little too close to home I know that themes of abuse are really prevelant in this show and Its really interesting to see how it affects people different but especially El, someone who'se pretty fucking clearly autistic and shows a lot of the same symptoms that i did post abuse? I thought i had more to say on it and maybei will as time goes on i just!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ough okay moving on --

LUCAS!!!!!!!!! APOLOGIZING and El saying she sorry too and ALL OF THEM APOLOGIZING YEAH THIS IS BOYS BEING BOYS BABEY THIS IS!!!! BOYS! BEING! BOYS!!!!!!!

WHITE WOMAN JUMPSCARE AGAIN

i cant wait to get to the part where i understand who you (POINTS AT EM) believe she is and fully feel whatever i should feel about her and what shes done or about to do or going to do in multiple timelines or what have YOU

Mikes dad makes me want to ram my head into a wall

and BRENNER is just fucking STABS HIM STABS HIM STABS HIM

Joyce is just :3c she just!! she <3

she can.... make you fly....... and...... piss yourself

the two super powers

OUHAKJSDH i forgot they think Johnathan killed Will jesus christ i hate these two so much and OUGAKSDH GOD THANK YOU FOR AKHSDAKJH FINALLY!! THANK U IK STEVE SHAPES UP AND CHANGES HIS SHIT AND GROWS THANK GOD BUT JESUS ITS ABOUT TIME HOLY FUCK

SPIT IN HIS EYES SPIT IN HIS EYES !!!! WISH U HAD GOD NOT THEIR DND SHIT HELLOW???

the Byers,,,,,,,,,, seemed so distant before like they didnt know each other or cared but god theyre so close theyre so so close and i feel that i get that

MIKES DAD AGAIN I WANT TO HES SO FUCKING STUPID if i were locked in a room with him id put on cocomelon

HOPPER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3

THE BOYS ARE ALL SO SMART I LOVE THEM OS MUCH

El is just trying so fucking hard god the liek desperation and fear or failure and guilt that she just keeps carrying itS JUST!!!!

MR CLARKS LIL DATE NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!! do you ever use your teacher's autism against him and force him to info dump in the same of science.

watching them setting up the pool and knowing they probably just told them to figure it out while they filmed it <3 ALSO MIKE REALIZING HIS SISTER IS ACTUALLY COOL idk need more siblings being siblings

JOYCE IS MY MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

someone giving El the option to say no? to back out? to FEEL SAFE??? im going to lose my mind im gonan scREAM and cry and throw up!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am BANGING MY FISTS On the TABLE

genuinely WAHT did barb do to deserve this WHAT DID SHE DO SHE WAS SUCH A GOOD FRIEND OH MY GOD

joyce joyc ejoCYCE JOYCE JOYCE fuck all yall shes my favorite character im in love with her

Do episodes that end in the upside down also not end with music @ em i cant remember this happening before bc i didnt write it down <3

---

Episode 8

LAST EPISIDE OF THE SEASON i went to get popcorn for this to pay full attention or as much as i could im goingin an dout of dissociating so bare with me i feel like im gonna have to rewatch the entire first season again bc i missed a lot but we'll get there in due time anyway onward and upward boys

OHH THE FIRST SCENE I SAW A PARALLEL TO EPISODE ONE!!! WITH JOYCE ON THE PHONE AND NOW YELLING AT BRENNER

god i love WHEN PEOPLE STAND UP TO BRENNER AND DONT BELIEVEHIS BULLSHIT

Hopper <333333

Johnathan and Nancy are my favorite best friends theyre jUST like GUNG FUCKING HO i love it

IM OAIUSDKAJHD NANCY AND HOPPER GOING FUCKING IN WHAT DO YOU MEAN ITS NOT GONNA HAPPEN yall keep underesitimating these people because you got your fancy suits and you think ou have control of the situation and then you get your ass handed to you SO IM waiting for his ass to be handed to him

do NOTTTTT DO NOT DO THIS TO ME WITH HOPPER DONT THROW ME INTO A FUCKING FLASH BACK!!!!!!! NOT LIKE THIS NOT HERE GONNA BITE

if i have to watch people cut their palms to get blood one more time im gonna STOP STOP IT STOP IT STOP oh my GOD LIKE... BAK O FYOU HAND? YOUR ARM? GIRL.

STEEVEEEEEEEEE are the lights gonna start blinking girl please pleas eplease srteve please can he help kill please bro Im HIS big brown eyes hello hwa the fuck

SO Tumblr deleted... everything after this and im kinda upset man i got like 20 minutes left in the episode not even and it just wiped out 90% of me going balls to the fuck wall about El exploding people's brains and how much i love Joyce Byers and how they gotta stopputting me through so much emotional turmoil when it comes to Hopper and his flash backs

I think im gonna rewatch the last episode to give a better genuine reaction bc i kinda spaced out at the end and dont super know whats going on now askdhj

#bo posting #bo.txt #stranger things #oougHSKDHGSJF #AH

[charliespringverse]

iwbft – ghosted: a Bonus brief summary of my annotations

all highlighted quotes: 91

· ouch/ow/owie: 5

· real/felt/relatable/so true: 4

· ☹/☹☹/☹☹☹: 4

She said Shrek and Fiona, and then told me she never wanted to be famous. — the double life thing babeyy

“Jimmy,” he heaves out, and I feel a stab of panic in my chest. — just hearing ur friend's name shouldn't be enough to trigger panic unless u already know something is Very Wrong . at which point i feel they should've pushed for further help instead of finishing out the tour

“We can’t leave Jimmy out.” Lister stands shirtless in the middle of the room and spins around on the spot. — fuck yeah trio tingz :')

It almost makes me laugh how polite and casual Rowan manages to sound, despite the fact that our best friend is missing. — IT'S A DEFENCE MECHANISM!!!!!

I only wonder how much of it is my fault. — none of it bb dw :( he is Not With It enough to be thinking abt anyone but himself rn

“But I can’t drive.” Rowan stares at me. “I thought you had lessons.” “I only had three lessons.” And then I got bored, or tired, or busy, or all three. — ... adhd lister btw

Why would he do this to us? To me? — i think jimmy's dependence on rowan is more reciprocated than he realises

If we weren’t in a famous band together, I’m not sure whether we’d still be friends now. — this rly hurts my feelings and it hurts more bc he isn't necessarily Wrong i don't think

“You do know I can play eight instruments, right?” “But not the drums, huh.” Rowan folds his arms. “You will never let me live that down.” — LISTERROWAN BESTIEISM BANTER BABEY

“But you think I’m an idiot who has nothing intelligent to say.” “I don’t think that.” “Yeah, you do. You’d much rather I was the one who was missing right now.” Rowan doesn’t respond. We both know I’m right. — WELL MAYBE BUT U DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME THAT. I DON'T WANNA THINK ABOUT IT.

“I wish you wouldn’t—” he begins but is cut off when his phone buzzes. — i hate that the phone gave him a get out from being open n sincere w lister :^(

“That’s a Southeastern Railway train,” says Lister instantly. “You can tell by the seat patterns.” — [freddie mercury voice] auuuuutism auuuuutism i want to ride my autism (note: this is summat @to-grill-a-mockingbird says and now i can never get it out of my head)

“He needs a night off.” "A night off from … what? His entire life?” Piero chuckles. “Yes.” — i mean ouch but also Yeah

“That was good news. He hasn’t been kidnapped. He just needed a nap.” “Can you not make a joke about this situation for like one fucking minute, Allister?” — could be the tism on my end but i didn't take this as a joke . jimmy needs a break, piero told them that, lister has seen enough to agree . (also: lister has Also contemplated running away so it makes sense he's less eager to bring jimmy back to ldn bc he doesn't see it as fixing the problem the same way rowan does)

Why do I always have to be the serious one? The worrier? Why can’t someone else do the worrying sometimes? — other ppl Do worry . but not so much that it becomes its own problem worthy of therapy

We save the deep chats for Jimmy. Jimmy doesn’t open up very often, but you know Jimmy will listen if you have something serious to say. — vs jimmy's wednesday narration 'we don't ever talk about deep stuff, me and lister bird' :((((

This whole bedroom is something out of twelve-year-old Lister’s wildest fantasies—it’s spacious and modern, with one floor-to-ceiling window, dark walls, LED lights behind the headboard, and a fifty-inch TV. — what u lack as a child you seek as an adult etc etc (space, material possessions, money)

Rowan’s room is always tidy. He puts away his clothes at the end of the day and makes his bed in the mornings. — always craving order & control :(

Rowan loves to criticize me about buying unnecessary things, but all I need to do is remind him of the velvet chaise longue in his bedroom that I’m pretty sure nobody has ever sat on. — comedy gold amidst the agony

He blinks at me. “You remembered my weird order?” — remembering ppl's orders is a love language

“Can I … ?” I shuffle on my feet. “Can we eat it in here?” — i hate that he's so uncertain n lacking in confidence while asking one of his best friends

I’ve always been deeply annoyed by what a high metabolism he has. I work out three times a week with a personal trainer just to stay toned. — rowan's fixation on body image makes me ✨nervous✨

“You were reading?” I ask, eyebrow raised. Lister narrows his eyes at me. “Wow, hilarious." — i stand by my 'lister loves to read but nobody ever assumes that or believes him bc their perception is skewed by him not gelling with academia' hc

“But don’t you see how that’s, like, still very fucked-up behavior, Rowan?” — GET HER JADE

And it’s scary that he thinks he’s completely fine. That this level of stress is normal. That he’s a functioning, well-adjusted human who is able to cope with being one of the most famous musicians in the world with absolutely no help or support whatsoever. — yeah :((

“You kissed him,” Rowan says. “So he decided to climb out of a window and run away.” “I mean, yeah, in summary.” — but no, realistically

Rowan wipes a tear from his eye. “Oh my God. So funny.” He’s properly pissing me off now. — give him a break roseph he's already mentally ill u don't have to embarrass him as well (/lh)

It’s a question I’ve asked myself every day for years. A question I’ve answered in daydreams, in nightmares, in conversations with myself in the shower. A question I still don’t know the answer to, and maybe never will. A question that doesn’t need an answer, now that I know for sure that Jimmy doesn’t like me back. — aaaaaagonyyyyy beyond power of speeeeeeech when the thing that u want is the only thing out of ur reach

“But … the circumstances of our relationship are so challenging. We live in very, very different worlds, and our lives are on very different trajectories. And sometimes I think relationships just can’t survive that.” — JUSTICE FOR LAIMONDI :(

Jimmy fell asleep almost immediately, a feat that would become less and less common as we all got older, but Lister and I couldn’t sleep because we were too busy watching funny YouTube videos on my phone, muffling laughs into our hands, trying not to wake anyone up. — BABY ARK MY CHILDREN

#i annotated this on friday but i've been too busy to write it up #so heyyyy guess who isn't ready to let this week go #anyway. i truly feel ghosted may be one of the best things to ever happen to this fandom #in the absence of iana at least #iwbftreread

[confoundedluna]

autism moment I got something real fucking exciting in the post and so I wanna show y'all something

it's my until dawn collection babey

yes I have six copies of the game yes I want more that's autism collecting when no official merchandise exists lmao

the press kit is the newest addition, it's So fucking cool and I never thought I'd own it so i'm super hyped about it, the details in it are amazing (maybe I'll do a detailed post with my favourite details when I go back home again at the weekend)

not pictured I do have a poster that I had printed of the box art, I have it on my wall at uni and I love it

I also have another box display thing, it's from GameStop, but it is not currently in my possession - I am not American so I wasn't gonna buy it when I came across it, but my darling wife is and said they'd ship it to me if i bought it and sent it there, so it will come at some point, and I am forever in love with my wife who indulges me so much

#until dawn #i love collecting and i love until dawn so this is the result lmao #let me get an itemised list for y'all #that's the regular edition of the game #the extended edition #the steelbook #the promo version #the japanese edition #and the press kit which has another edition but the envelope it's in is still sealed and i am gonna keep it that way #plus my poster #and two shop displays

[schmabbald]

woe. category 7 autism event got to me. ramblings under the cut (he's waving to you!!)

please excuse John's hands in the first one i had no reference and i've never drawn hands before. i usually got by with just circles but today i wanted to be quirky. not too bad considering my inexperience

i rarely draw humanoids as well so. please excuse his strangeness too. well he's strange anyway but if he looks a lil disproportionate you know what happened. chat is gloop glop they're meant to look odd proportionally

love these things

design is heavily based on @/ananinidraws John design which is probably pretty evident. i like that flavour of John i think he's perfect. the chat design is super similar too. er. i like this persons designs they're very very cool

i have made the decision that he is not at all human in any way. that's all flower babey!!! i imagine that plantfolk and humans have a relatively recent common ancestor except plantfolk live exclusively in bigg forest and can photosynthesise. they fit similar ecological niches

if you look closely at one of his cheeks you can see some ancient John Lore™ from when the series first came out and gave me terrible brainrot

in relation to the above point, John is the only documented plantfolk to live outside of the community. nobody ever asked him why so he never said anything about it

he doesn't like clothes touching all of the fluffy planty bits but he really likes the hero outfit, so he rolls up the cuffs as far as they will go and it works fine. in causal attire he's probably in a sundress to negate any discomfort but he just. he wants to look cool

in relation to the above point, there was a valiant attempt to get him to wear shoes once. it evidently did not work. he owns one pair of boots and does not wear them ever. he draws energy for attacks and healing from the ground and it's too much effort to do that through an inch of rubber and leather, which weakens their effect

his weapon matches chat's most of the time (bouquet) but i got lazy so chat has a star wand

chat swears that their matching weapons are a coincidence and that is a lie

i don't like shading i will not do it. not even for them

he has three tails because i said so

IVE FORGOTTEN TO COLOUR A BIT OF HIS TAIL disregard that

#rtgame miitopia #thats the only tag. i get scared posting art because. well you see i am not that good. but its ok! not everything has to be perfect! #(through gritted teeth) it's ok to make mid art it's alright. the lines are pretty solid and he looks overall fine. show him off

[dreamballade]

ok, i saw someone do this on tiktok and thought it looked fun so here is redacted characters and whether i think i could successfully date irl or not:

vincent: 100% yes. he’s my ideal type the loml. I LOVE HIM! 100000/10

ivan: probably…? we dont know much of him as flyboi so i cant really tell. we are both quite socially challenged though which would either be incredible or horrible. i picture him with a really beefy top half with arms good for hugging though. 8/10

ollie: no. our names are too similar. he is cute though but i am bad at board games. 4/10

david: no … i dont like vocal fry 😭 and i would just piss him off and he would be mean to me and i would get upset. we wouldnt mesh well i dont think… esp early david he was a bit toxic. 3/10

elliott: yes yes yes!!! i am super attracted to protector types i love the best friends-to-lovers trope i love how caring he is. i’ve only listened to his earlier audios so i dont know how he develops but im giving him a solid 10/10!

gavin: i think we would be better as friends but i cant give a good reason why. 5/10

asher: you know what yea!!! he’s cute fun and awesome. neither of us can answer the door tho 7/10

lasko: probably not only because neither of us would have the confidence to make a move on the other 💀 i would treat him like the babygirlest of babygirls though dont even worry about it. 6/10

damien: this man would hate me. ranked slightly higher than david because i wouldnt be as scared of him and he would be a lot funnier to antagonise. 4/10

huxley: YES. my boy!!! “dude” but in a romantic way. i would love to be around his energy i would love to spend time with him i would love to go on hikes with him. one point deducted bc i would probably feel guilty if i did anything to affect his positivity yknow..he’s TOO mentally healthy . 9/10

sam: it would never happen he is attracted to roguish dangerous badass types and i like to be in bed by 9pm. i love his character and voice though and i would love to keep him in a small room for a small amount of time. 7/10

milo: YEA BABEY!!! i like a man who understands the importance of dress socks. and a man who has a cat. and a man who speaks in that funny voice. AND I LOVE SHORT KINGS. i dont care about anything else i am attracted to him 9.5/10

vega: yes. it would be horribly toxic. yes ?/10

aaron: yes only because i think his bonus audios are hot. he’s so corporate and i am so not so its hard to imagine… i saw art of him cooking pancakes in his little red boxers he has a kind of reigen arataka appeal to him my pathetic babygirl… 7.5/10

geordi: YES! my angel my snowglobe my grain of icing sugar… i would love to hold his face in my hands and tell him that i love him. “you can never have too much garlic right” This man is my president. 10/10

guy: yes for the autism/adhd solidarity of it all . i feel like i could truly be myself around him his general personality is so attractive to me because hes so authentically annoying….although idk if i could stand smelling pizza all the time. AND he definitely snores every now and then. 9/10

#was thinking about this my entire work shift #i now have 17 boyfriends…. #vincent my fav forever though #redacted audio #redacted asmr

[nyxetoile]

Ive been headcanoning amanda as autistic for some reason and every single time i read one of your fics and i see a Quirk that i can attribute to autism i get so excited.

Like theres this moment where amanda mentions needing to get nice yarn because “these hands dont touch acrylic” i got really excited and went “thats Texture Issues, babey!”

Anyway Amanda is autistic and her special interest is niche broadway musicals. illuminati confirmed.

I've sort of been waiting for this ask 'cause I as I wrote more and more for her it became obvious to me that Amanda is some sort of neuro-spicy. The only neurodivergence I gave Amanda consciously is Sensory Processing disorder which, as you point out, is a symptom of ASD. Given her age and gender, she would have been extremely unlikely to be diagnosed with anything as a child and most of her "quirks" probably would have been attributed to losing her mother young. So, feel free to head canon her as autistic, or anything else you like, she is definitely some flavor of ND.

[chekovscaramelcurls]

listen. i love 2012!Raph with all my heart and soul. (and surprisingly enough, no, it’s not because of the two Yelchin Dreams (TM) that i had like two years ago.)

(also it has been nearly three years of me typing “Yelchin” and my phone still tries to get me to change it to Yeltsin every single time. no, phone, i do not mean the former leader of russia. i mean the actor. and also sometimes his author uncle.)

he jus a lil guy. but he still did wrong by mikey…er, all of ‘em, tbh.

so why am i so passionate about this? well, i can relate to raphael a lot. i was an autistic kid who went undiagnosed until SIX MONTHS AGO, and i’m eighteen if that puts it into perspective. and everyone around me thought i had “anger issues” and that i was “a crybaby.” no. no, those were meltdowns, go fuckin’ figure. no wonder i couldn’t control ‘em.

(oh, and yes, i do get upset when ppl accuse rise!donatello of being an asshole or a psychopath because he’s autistic or because of the ONE TIME he really messed up. y’know, the whole “gifts” thing. and once he was TOLD why it was bad, he felt like absolute shit afterwards! like, i just—oh, i do shit like that too, and it makes sense to me because it followed the fuckin’ social norms three minutes ago but now it suddenly just doesn’t anymore, OOPS! well, guess i’m a goddamn blue-marble motherfuckin’ psychopath, then!)

but like, raph is proven to be more than capable of controlling himself. several times. (and yeah, sometimes he couldn’t. i ain’t faulting him for those, i’d be a giant hypocrite if i did.)

am i saying raphael was evil or a jerk or anything like that? no! for god’s sakes, even though i love all of them, he’s my favorite of the turtles!

yeah, yeah, laugh it up, chuckles, he’s my favorite because my sleepy-time-RNG-brain decided “fuck it. raphael the ninja turtle has anton yelchin’s voice now.” and then did it again a few months later, after i’d forgotten about the first one…man, this will never not be funny to me. on a side note, there’s this website called mycast.io, and you can vote any actor for any character. and i do mean ANY. and apparently two different ppl think my mans would’ve made a good donatello? like i don’t disagree but i’m too attached to the concept of ay!raph now.

but yeah, anyway. i usually can’t stand villain characters because of the whole black-&-white Autism Morality (TM) or whatever. (/hj) so me saying that raph’s my favorite just goes to show that i don’t think of him as a villain by any means.

what i am saying is that his actions were wrong. his intent wasn’t. unless a giant plot point flew over my head and no one ever bothered to mention anything about it ever again…yeah, no. then again nobody ever talks about the fact that donnie fucking died in the 2012 series at least twice?? probably more?? so idfk. but that doesn’t make it okay. mikey didn’t deserve to be treated the way he was. he didn’t do anything to anybody.

i just. it hurts seeing him get demonized for no real reason. he’s babey. it’s just that he’s…also babey with mental health issues.

so, TL;DR—

stop justifying raph’s actions and bullying as him “jUsT bEiNg A sIbLiNg”—like wtf u guys—WITHOUT DEMONIZING HIM AS A RESULT (i swear ppl can only do one extreme or the other). like, think of it this way. raphael clearly loves his family. but he needs therapy someone to tell him that, while occasional lighthearted teasing is okay as long as it doesn’t cross any boundaries, bullying his brothers 24/7 is not a healthy way to show it!

also this whole thing may or may not exist because i want 2012/rise crossover content that doesn’t bash 2012!raphael at every fuckin’ turn…

#does any of this make sense? #look man my little cousin hit her head on the coffee table (she’s fine btw) and her shrieking almost made me have a meltdown #and i DID shut down so i’m exhausted 👍🏻 #raphael needs therapy #raphael #tmnt 2012 #should i tag this as anton yelchin? yeah i’m gonna tag this as anton yelchin. #anton yelchin #don’t get me wrong i’m not dissing sean astin or omar benson miller or anything like that #it’s just. special interest brain and coincidental dreams combo go BRRRRRRRR

[sillyabtmusic]

okayyy post concert ramblings 👍

note i have memory issues and am already struggling to recall half the concert so i'm sure more stuff happened but!!

to start off the venue lied and said the event would be seated when it wasn't and i was so upset about that i forgot i was gonna try and look at them during the hi-touch (i have to put conscious effort in to look at people's faces) and so i stared at their hands as i walked by and then realized i had NO clue who i high-fived so that sucked a lil but not their fault. venues fault.

but! i knew louis was at the beginning, hwon was at the end, and jahan was third from first, and when i high-fived hwon he went "cute!" so that was a thing that happened!

we managed to get a folding chair for me to sit in and i ended up getting to sit in the back of vvip (i wasn't vvip) which was neat! but the silly thing is is that the vvip people were by the stage obvs and the back of vvip was empty. i sat in the corner back and around me was just tech stuff so me and my mother were the ONLY people in that area. this is important later

show starts yay big cheer big cheer!! this is where my memory gets really scattered so we're doing bullet point format in no particular order

their live vocals were SO good. i was just a tad worried because i've seen recordings from previous concerts & performances where they were okay! but just okay but genuinely they're so. so good soooooo good i think they've gotten a lot better

pointing out ivans vocals specifically because goddddd. i actually think a lot of the high notes in songs are a little too high for his range and i don't like that he's pushed that way because his comfortable range is so good but he did the high notes lower than the og song and they sounded SO good and wow. they were still high but they fit his voice a lot better. methinks

mujin kept looking in our direction. like i know people say this kinda often but remember earlier how i said me & my mom were the Only people where we were due to the seating situation. i would look at him and he'd literally be staring directly at us and it was 🧍 i actually got nervous i'll be real with you ALSKDFJALFA. i actually thought maybe i was making it up but when i went to talk about my mom to it she was like no i saw that too he was definitely looking and i was like oh okay. cool.

uhmmm i'm already out of words but their live performance is really good it's so good the energy was amazing

snapshots :D i did jahan first cuz i had premium for him and i meant to say just like. one sentence. but i got nervous and i was honestly half-dissociated because i was in a lot of pain so all i could say was "thank you" but i do remember he has a very comforting presence 👍 after i walked away from the snapshot i went to sit on the floor off to the side and back a bit (pain reasons) and started rocking (autism reasons) and i was just kind of looking around for a moment and i ended up making eye contact with jahan which half of me didn't really like because well. not great at the eye contact thing. but the other half got happy silly because he just smiled over at me but i panicked and tried to smile back before quickly looking away. yay!

then was hwon! and he also has a very comfortable presence! and he held his hands up to everyone after snapshots and i meant to just high five him but i was on autopilot and half-present so i just clasped his hands and i felt so guilty about it but then he called me cute (again) and said other things i don't remember but he was really nice and had a nice smile :•]

overall the concert itself was very fun!! bad parts was 1. the venue lying about seating so i didn't bring mobility aids under the assumption i could sit without having to fight for seating 2. waiting in the heat for. 5 hours. but none of that is on the group thats venue babey!!

#speaking.txt #this is not put together or organized but neither is my memory sorryz!!

[scourgethewhorehog]

long post abt social spaces specifically online and offline, unrelated to any recent events so don't put words in my mouth it just is part of me reflecting on trauma shit+ journaling + understanding why i lacked boundaries for so long and trying to sympathize with why other people may Also lack boundaries even if it doesnt , excuse certain shit

man does anyone else realize that condemning people as evil or dismissing them or insisting they are inherently bad to continue existence in a way they feel doesnt align to their worldview for things that dont actually cause harm on other people and are actually decent outlets to redirect traumatic experiences n passing judgement on them to the point theyre isolated to an incredibly small group of people to seek acceptance actually makes everyone worse off

and makes people question themselves and their morals to the point they eventually give up on trying to be a good person and actual bad people use this to infiltrate these groups of rejected traumatized people because of this us vs them mentality that comes from being rejected by wider society both by virtue of a lot of these ppl experiencing irl oppression 98% of the time and also have to deal from rejection even from any support group they may have to help them deal with very real life issues because everyone is inventing online problems and reasons to ostracize people more for like what for power for feeling like theyre better themselves in the face of all they also face in real life...

anyways this is just me thinking of how many people i see from a distance that have so much common ground with me and otherwise would be fine to be around but would hate me for being like a dirty evil queer with the kind of autism that isnt cute enough for tiktok who doesnt understand social cues or having the wrong kind of system or too bizarre of an identity as it is so when someone who comes along that checks so many of the boxes of just at least not fucking hating you you put up with So much shit. and thats what lead to like half of the abusive close relationships we've been in babey!

and when you talk to people outside of these circles, trying to get away from all the people who hurt you in them, there is subtle victim blaming, recovery spaces admonish you for having been in these spaces in the first place, insisting if you hadnt been who youve been you wouldnt be around these Inherently Bad people....

it doesnt help that in real life we did Everything right to not be the Bad Child, never dyed our hair until recently when we had enough, and never spoke out and paid all our bills on time and most gay people are disgusting perverts but youre quiet enough and never come out to your parents friends and never are too loud about it even if youre dying inside and want to cry when you have to say your partner is just your friend whose coming over because its a death sentence, god forbid we get into gender because even if we're trans in the end its just some sort of dykefag anyways and nothing gets acknowledged except the same imagined scenario of like. being a dirty depraved sex pervert even if you struggle to touch other people and are terrified to tell anyone about that.

being an assumed danger to other people no matter how harmless you are sucks. its like, i come online to all these people where, at surface level expression, maybe would like me, because physically everyone near me wouldn't if i was half honest, but i'm still too much for them too now and i'm left feeling exactly like i do day to day. the internet isn't really escapism anymore its the same shit with a new coat of paint. i go through life thinking these people are good people and would be cool in any other circumstance, and i wish them the best, but the minute i am me i am a problem and something is wrong and all the kindness and good will they have and their favorite dessert and birthday and the things i recognize of them and love and care about wont matter anymore because i stopped being a person to them, and it happens to me online now too! and that sort of blows but at least i actually have real friends now who are like family and ill count my blessings on that.

#infection #reader beware

[vanweezer]

rarely am i ever affectionate on main but when i am.....!

#im not the type of person who says ''i love you'' a lot unless im in a relationship of some kind #or the. situation? requires it? i guess #i was like that when i was younger (tweens & late-ish teens) but now im like ehhhh #noah knows dis but basically im very black & white when it comes to any affection of any kind #its da autism babey !!! #some people i will hug and never let go of because i just do that. other people i will swat like flies #hugging someone like ash or mikey or noah is strange to me because i? just dont? do that? #although if i ever see ash in tally or they come back to miami at any given point im also there. im fucking glomping u bitch. #but sum of my irls i was p much always latched onto in some way. pre covid at least. #my childhood friends r diff tho so if any of yall see this just know that the moment i see u i am also glomping u there is no escape.