#men and women who are friends

[scribefindegil]

saw a deeply rancid take this morning about how amatonormativity isn’t real (especially in slash fandom contexts, lol) because all mainstream media focuses on platonic relationships so what do we even want. and was tempted to write a big thing breaking down the various prejudices at play in the way society (and thus the media reflecting it) refuses to treat women and queer people and other minorities as Real People deserving of stories, and how this leads to all this media focused on men whose only meaningful relationships are with other men in a way that does nothing but support amatonormativity along with every other status-quo bigotry. but actually i think this sums it up:

Mainstream Media to Aros (& those who believe in their beliefs): You’re platonic because you value friendship. I’m platonic because I hate everyone who isn’t a cishet white man. We are not the same.

#i get that if you are using zero critical thinking skills #it can look like mainstream media loves platonic relationships #(between men) #but it does not #it's just forced itself into that corner because it thinks that men are the only people who can be protagonists #and of course gay people can't be protagonists either #so the people who are allowed to have Rich Inner Lives and Emotions do that with each other #but if you look at any relationship outside of that framework #women who are friends #men and women who are friends #queer people who are friends #family members who are friends #you will immediately see the way that these are de-prioritized in favor of sex & romance #sometimes one bigotry will mask another under certain circumstances #that doesn't mean that the one being masked has ceased to exist

[greykolla-art]

My favourite thing about Alastor is his hoard of gal pals!

He’s just a cool and charming dude that women feel comfortable around…And is also a power hungry eldritch horror.👌👌👌

#grey art #fan art #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel fanart #hazbin rosie #hazbin alastor #aroace #asexual icon! #I’m so tired of oversexualised charming men I’m so happy he’s ace #nothing but love and light for people who enjoy the dark romantic type tough! #the radio demon #men with a lot of women friends is such a green flag #he’s so villain coded tough I love this guy! #Alastor

[filmnoirsbian]

If homophobic weirdos don't stop ruining the absolute beauty and solidarity of love and friendship between gay men and lesbians by pushing for us to fuck each other as if that isn't what cishet homophobes have been pushing for since the dawn of time I'm gonna start car bombing

#tcp #note that this is NOT a gold star post gay men who have been w women in the past and lesbians who have been w men in the past are still gay #but let's not pretend that's what these HOMOPHOBES. BC THAT'S WHAT THIS IS. IT IS HOMOPHOBIC TO WANT LESBIANS TO FUCK MEN #AND TO WANT GAY MEN GAAAAY MEN TO FUCK WOMEN. no arguments. are talking abt #how to be hateful towards lesbians gay men AND bi people in one fell swoop #'oh my lesbian friend fucks men all the time' THAT'S BC SHE'S BISEXUAL. why are yall allergic to the word bisexual. #the world only spins forward

[femmesandhoney]

male socialization is wild to me because when men deviate it by generally being nice to women and then get womens attention by being friendly and normal to us other men get mad and punish them for it bc they're actually meant to be domineering, rude, and misogynistic to us and if a man doesn't do that they're either gay or trying to unassumingly get with one of the women. like it blows mens minds that they can actually try and be normal and nice to women for no sexual gain, and then they punish men for deviating from it. they're like we see you're getting female attention without abusing the women?? thats wrong and also we hate u for it. like jesus men are so fucked up as a whole.

#witnessed this in my class group #two of the more 'manly' men were saying shit about one of the guys and its like #i obviously know this is common but as a girl who grew up w male friends who were always seen as gay for preferring female company #seeing it repeated in the world always still catches me off guard #like you'd think logically for het men especially maybe being nice to women would get u farther #but male socialization and the patriarchy are so insane #to be nice to a woman is to acknowledge she is human and not just a sex vessel #so when they see other men treating us like humans they get both mad and probably jealous idk what goes on in their heads but its wild

[punkeropercyjackson]

Oh did that trans woman present femininely in a way you find corny?Did that autistic kid annoy you by being passionate about their interests?Did that traumatized person cope by being a therian so you think they're stupid?Did that black person act in a way you found offputting?Thank you SO much for making a whole post to make fun of them because it was completely necessary to announce your most important feelings ever because weird people are vewy scawy.Should we throw a party to cheer you up?Should we invite JK Rowling?

#like shut your fake freak ass UP you're not breaking social norms by being k/inky and using over the top cruelty those are literally normal #i used these groups because they're the kindness most accepting and coolest people ever and have done nothing but help me heal as i do them #and with autistic kids i mean they did it completely unintentionally by being my friends while i took the role of the shoulder to cry on #because i'm a GROWN ASS MAN AND WOMAN who does NOT need the approval of my oppressors and i will NOT throw them under the bus to get it #go do actual activism and grow a spine and get a relathionship that's not a situationship and communicate outside out of your little bubble #transmisogyny #ableism #antiblackness #transfem #trans women #actuallyautistic #catkin #dragonkin #ghostkin #therian tag #autistic girl summer #black femme #black men #black love #blackness #misogynoir #bigender #genderfluid #transmascfem #pinkcore #weirdcore #children's rights #anti harry potter #💌 #summerposting

[blueeandyellowmakesgreen]

yall know i love my ronance content but a part of me is also really happy for nancy for finally having a platonic girl friend her age. i imagine ever since barb, shes had a lot of walls she had to put up, and maybe robin practically tearing it down and letting herself in is just what she needed and wanted, so nancy just.. let her. idk im looking forward to more of them in the next season. nancy deserves that

#byler #mike 🤝 nancy benefitting from having more women in their lives #also again tagging byler bc yall get it #byler tumblr #nancy #nancy wheeler #i mean think about it her only company was her two boyfriends her dad then her brother and a kind of neglectful mom #she must feel relieved to be able to confide in her. #hell i could even argue that its because of this fact alone that she wasnt jealous abt steve at all #she just didnt know how to take another friend again #we forget that nancy wasnt actually popular since steve. it was just her and barb and was basically like mike in a way shes smart #and kind of nerdy and potentially lonely with a very small circle. straight A student #so yeah i think she deserves this #and it must mean a lot to finally have someone who is a girl be her friend again #considering she always felt strongly against the patriarchy and how women are treated in general #so yeah it must be a treat to not be surrounded by men for once

[naturecalls111]

I think I love Sanji so extra much because he’d acknowledge my ‘girl-ness’ in a way that I feel like has not ever been acknowledged in a way I wanted it to be wails

The chivalry intended not with hopeful reciprocation but with admiration. WAILS.

#nc111 talks #like growing up the whole concept of ‘being one of the boys’ was so stupid to me #mostly because I had so many guy friends and I was not appreciative of their treatment of me at all #there were definitely times where I wanted to tell them like. hm. I wish you would respect my girlhood a bit more #I love being a woman. I really do #my girlhood is something I keep very close to me. I was very jealous of other girls in my school who exuded that type of femininity #speaking purely from personal experience - just to make that clear #but I like being and being associated with traits that are quite literally stereotypically aligned with Girl-ness #so hard to explain!! but at its core I just love chivalry though lol #one of my friends was like ugh no I’d never want a guy to hold a door open for me just because I’m a girl #‘I’d want them to hold it open because it’s just a kind thing to do’ #and like. yes. core sentiment I totally agree with #but also I Do want to be acknowledged as a girl I spent all of my childhood and teen years having my Girl-ness barely recognised and #it sucked seing the disparity in the treatment #but it also sucked seeing the intent with which these guys treated women chivalrously #which is why Sanji appeals to me. his chivalry is not ill intended or manipulative. ever. and it acknowledges womanhood all the same #OK RAMBLINGGGG #lost the plot. point is I love Sanji because I see him do his little dance while giving Robin a dessert she never had to ask for and I sigh #WISH THAT WERE ME. #edit: none of this matters mostly because I don’t care to date men #but I suppose it’s like. even in my friendships with other girls I feel like there was an inherent establishment that ok so I act as the Guy #And She acts as the girl #when we go out their arms would wrap around mine #and mine never wrapped around theirs. does that make sense #hold their hand as they walked down the stairs in heels. helped them out of cars. you get the image #SANJI WOULD HOLD MY HAND OUT OF A CAR EVERY TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love him #I’d never have to ask! ah. love chivalry.

[kingkunigami]

I love that we collectively agree that these men exude so much power and confidence but the moment they’re in front of a pretty woman they’re terrified and have no idea what to do.

#no chat any of them #none whatsoever #my friend just started bllk and we were talking about it #and even men like Oliver who think they know women have no clue at all

[pisshandkerchief]

the obvious double standard with which we as a society treat amab nonbinary people and trans women who don't fit the level of feminity that they're expected to is actually disgusting.

#I see it every day in the way my gm (and closest friend at work) is constantly misgendered without anyone apologizing #but everyone uses the correct pronouns for me and quickly corrects themselves if they mess up. #I see it in the way my nonbinary dad #couldn't be friends with women in our old homeschool group #without rumors being constantly spread that they were just trying to get in the women's pants. #I see it in the way my mom was disgusted and disturbed by discovering my dad's early forays into crossdressing #but is proud of me for being my authentic self. #I see it in the way my dad is still scared to wear a skirt despite frequently expressing a desire to #for fear of being seen as “an ugly man in a dress". #I see it in the way my theatre director is constantly called they or he despite clearly having she/her pronouns on her email. #I see it in the way my mom refuses to use the correct pronouns for my dad even though they are out to her #and constantly “forgets” my gm's pronouns even though I've used they/them for them for months. #deep down I know if I was born with a penis my mom would think of my transness much differently. #when “women” embrace masculinity they are seen as empowered at best and at worst as victims of the patriarchy. #confused little girls who don't know any better. #when “men” embrace feminity they are seen as predators. traps. manipulative freaks. #I see it every day. It's so deeply ingrained in our society it seems like there's no escaping it.

[beanghostprincess]

Saw somebody once saying that people's arguments to say Nami is a lesbian are always about her negative traits and focusing on her not liking men and... Why do we have to have any arguments when it comes to a sexuality headcanon? Why can't I just say that she doesn't like men, and that's all? But even if you needed arguments, "not liking men" isn't a bad trait or something negative at all. She just is uninterested in them, imo, both romantically and sexually, and that's quite literally the definition of being a lesbian. Yes, obviously we can focus on her appreciation of other female characters and how the way she reacts around them is way different from how she reacts with the men of the show, but saying "she likes women" isn't an argument to prove she's a lesbian because bisexual girls exist. Or really, just any other sexuality regarding women. It's beautiful to focus on her love for girls, but if we're looking for arguments here, I think the best one of all is saying that she doesn't like men. And that isn't a bad thing at all and it is quite literally the only argument you need for your headcanon to work. And yes, I do agree that a lot of people use negative traits of her to call her a lesbian (a "mean lesbian". A term that I personally despise. When it's a joke about a character who's actually mean it's okay and funny, but lesbians are already demonized enough, and Nami isn't even mean. People just hate that she has a personality and stands up for herself) but I've never seen somebody say "she's a lesbian because she's mean". I just see people saying she's a lesbian because she doesn't like men, and, again, that's not bad as long as you don't stereotype her and say she hates men and put her in a little box of "being the mature one" because she's a lot of the time as silly and careless as the men of the crew. Not liking men is not a negative trait. It's literally just being a lesbian. Like we could talk for hours about her relationship with women and womanhood in the show, how her character behaves around them, and the way they portray her. Because yes, I don't know if I'd say she's queercoded but she definitely is way more fond of girls than she is of men and her relationships with them seem way more genuine and organic than the one she has with men. But... Again, the core point of all of this is that she doesn't like men. Easy as that.

#the first step to realize i was a lesbian was realizing i didn't like men like what else do you want from me #i told my friends and they were “oh yeah idk what you are but you definitely don't like men” #and then i had the “i like women and enby people” realization and here we are #and also nami has a personality and people label her as mean because they've never seen a woman in their lives #<- said by someone who is not a woman but i am genderfluid and afab so yeah i can get what the poor girl is going through #one piece #cat burglar nami #lesbian nami

[filmnoirsbian]

Straight men really will treat every kindness towards a woman they find attractive as transactional. My local vape guy asked me out after weeks of us having fun chats whenever I showed up and after I (GENTLY) turned him down I found out that he'd apparently been giving me a discount (which he stopped after my rejection). Bro I didn't even know you were taking off $5 in hopes of getting laid 😭 I just thought that store was cheaper...

#it's WILD. but I've discussed my issues w straight men. we simply cannot be friends #which SUCKS bc i strongly disagree w the idea that men and women can't be friends bc of possible romantic/sexual attraction #esp as a lesbian who manages to be friends with many hot dykes! #but i have been burned too many times. straight men start pulling ur weight wrt platonic relationships #tcp

[celluloidbroomcloset]

I don't even know what to do anymore.

#rhys darby #love birds #gif #ofmd #like what is even happening #i'm mostly making these to harass my friend with #something about a gigantic dork who is also really fucking hot #totally normal for rhys darby tumblr association #my bisexuality is basically: very select slightly odd men and all women #if stede and the crew had a queen-inspired rock band #fang is even there! #ed would be their number one and only groupie

[nonokoko13]

Watch me make a shrine for a character we have only seen in bubble speeches and flashbacks

Jeeves I don't know you but you seem the only stable person in this wicked household. Thank you for being in Damian's life, unlike certain man

#spy x family #sxf jeeves #give me his surname Endo I wanna know what will be my married last name #unless Melinda is first in line then good for her #we only have a somewhat profile picture years old and a front one with his eyes closed but he looks fineee #sxf chapter 93 #yes I'm desperate. Look at the male market we have here #Malewife mc happily married. Siscon guy. Franky. Dominic taken. Old men. Scar SSS dude #and a girlfailure of spy who has only appeared twice. the second time in the background in one single panel #this is the Atacama and I am THIRSTY #thank god Endo compensates with many gorgeous women (out of my league) #oh I almost forgot the teacher with eye patch. that guy was nice. BUT STILL #sxf spoilers #everyday I wake up and thank God for giving Damian some good people who cares like Jeeves and his friends

[craycraybluejay]

Saw a Reddit post about a cis woman infantilizing trans men, and this is why I think cis women are THE most annoying version of transphobia in the world. Like yeah a cis man will tell you "kys tranny" but he's not very well going to take the time to psychologically torture you for the heck of it by treating you like you are exactly [three] years old.

#im sorry but cis women are so much more likely to be really fucking weird to trans people #i cannot stand them #tw suibaiting #mentioned #transphobes #infantilization #transandrophobia #bite kill maim #look im not a misogynist BUT i dont trust women for shit #they are literally taught never to talk straight at people which results in some of the most convoluted psychological warfare ever #also on one side there's transphobic misogynists on the other side there's terfs #and very few women i've met cis OR trans have been normal about trans men and transmasculine people #even the tumblr trans community is chock full of either trans women telling us we're oppressing them and also us being hated doesn't matter #and spouting transandrophobic bullshit #but the cis women 'allies' who are like 'i know trans guys i have a trans friend who most definitely isnt scared to tell me off for my #fucked up behaviour' #the thing is this is very much how women bully other women so actually #newsflash #transmascs are not 'tme' and literally all fucking trans people are endangered by transmisogyny #some of you gals just have a superiority complex about it bc you want to have someone to look down on #almost every man I've met who is not old as hell or a borderline nazi is just. normal about it. #if a woman is too interested in your transness? run for the fucking hills #no she most probably won't physically attack you but she will try her damnedest to psychologically ruin you #not sorry if i come off as an asshole #these people are WAY too comfortable making us uncomfortable #i have had it up to here #if anyone tries to infantilize me for any reason i will scare them till they beg ME to leave them alone #idk how other people tolerate it but i sure as hell won't #and i am absolutely not above hitting a woman if she's touching me against my will #you want to baby me and constantly touch me and shit you are getting slapped into sunday

[captain-stab-a-hoe]

I can't explain it but bingqiu is one of those ships where if they were lesbians it would take an eternity compared to their male counterparts to get together and it's entirely Shen Qingqiu's fault

#coming from someone who has a friend group of mostly girls in which most of us has said we would marry each other at least once #i can see shen qingqiu going 'it's totally normal to admire a woman's chest' #'women are naturally prettier than men what's wrong with that' #'binghe would totally be my type if she was a man' #like ok how is the closest see through glass and unbreakable at the same time #svsss #bingqiu #luo binghe #shen qingqiu

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

questioning sexuality is so exhausting

#(edit: sorry for the rant in the tags and i just. i want someone to talk to me) #i keep on doing it for no apparent reason #someone was talking about lust yesterday and i realised today that. #even tho id thought i don't experience it. i possibly do. but exclusively towards women. #i hate it here! #for a multitude of reasons i will never have a relationship with a woman but! i may be incapable of having a relationship with a man! #at some point in the last few months i have abruptly pivoted from definitely wanting marriage and kids to being ambivalent on marriage #and not wanting kids. that's such an outlier in my life that it might just be a mental health thing tho idk #but at the same time i. want to be loved. #i don't know what i want anymore and im tired of questioning myself #i definitely overthink it but idk how to stop it #and i hate hate hate how the moral obsessions have bee lately #this isn't entirely related but it kind of is #like Am i a terrible morally bankrupt person for having certain thoughts or is it just religious ocd go brrrr?? am i overthinking it? #i don't know. i don't know! #for a while labelling myself as arospec ace kinda calmed that down but. i don't know #i do't want to be attracted to women. i don't want to have to look away so often. i don't want any of that. #but i don't know how to stop it. #i don't even know if i'm attracted to men at all. #this is a cry for help and encouragement and prayers no matter what your views on these matters are #queer stuff tag #i nearly fessed up to my friend yesterday about same sex attraction and i might've except that it would have probably outed me as #the person who anonymously sent in a question several months ago about the side b movement to a church thing #ive only told one person at church about any of that sort of stuff and it was very vaguely worded #also see: this friend is the mother of the boy i?? i don't even know how i feel about him #i increasingly think it wasn't romantic at all. but i don't know #i would love any encouragement you got. anything at all. #i don't know how much this stuff is affected by the fact that i consider myself unloveable and think it highly unlikely any boy will ever #care for me #now im rambling. sorry