#my great jokes

[tittyinfinity]

I was hanging out at the karaoke bar, chatting with a beautiful woman, and we were really hitting it off. I threw a couple of flirtatious comments her way. She giggled nervously, but abruptly stopped and looked at the floor.

She told me that she was too nervous to hit on people because she's trans and worries that people will view her as a predator and that she might get hurt.

My heart sank. I let her know that she could hit on me in whatever way she wanted and I would LOVE it. We spent the rest of the night hanging out and flirting. We ended up making out. It was great.

But I can't stop thinking about how that wasn't the first time a trans woman has said that to me. About how unsafe it is for some women that they feel the need to give out fucking disclaimers to have normal interactions with people.

We have GOT to make the world a safer place for trans women. It pisses me off that there are men at the bar who are openly predatory towards me without fear of consequence, yet a trans woman is too scared to even fucking call me pretty. And that's because she IS more likely to face worse consequences for lesser things! Like what the fuck!

You need to always check on your internalized biases. Being queer yourself doesn't absolve you of transmisogynistic thoughts and behaviors. Being bi/pansexual doesn't mean you don't hold those biases either! If you feel differently about a trans woman hitting on you than you feel about a cis woman or a man hitting on you, you need to evaluate that.

Trans women, I love you so fucking much. You should be able to express attraction and love as freely as everyone else. I hope you can always feel safe around me. And I'll never stop fighting until you can feel safe period.

#her name was Kara which we joked about bc I came with my other friend named Kara and we were at the Kara-oke bar lol #i told her about how last time i was hit on at that same bar was ALSO by another woman named Kara #she said ''i need to find a man to transition right now so we can have more karas'' 🤣😭 she was so great lol #and I'm texting another friend named Kara right now😭 soon everyone will be Kara #transmisogyny tw #.bdo

[srapsodia]

Maaaaan, that was close...

#persona 5 #p5 #p5 fanart #phantom thieves #my art #holding atlus by the neck LISTEN. you cant make your character's whole deal the fact that he's a survivor of abuse and then use him as a #as a literal punching bag as a joke. you cant. the joke doesnt fucking land and i WILL kill you. #anyway everyone should've rushed to hug ryuji in absolute relief when they saw him and then thank him for what he did #and congratulate him on his great running cause he's been working so SO hard to get back to that point and he deserves the praise

[phantomrose96]

Im usually much too shy to send asks but you gotta be the change you want to see, and i agree that asks need to stay so: would you rather right 1 horse sized rat, or 100 rat sized horses?

ah yikes... so my knee jerk reaction is "the 100 rat-sized horses, certainly, as those can be picked off one at a time." however the risk of my conscience catching up to me by the 30th or 40th horse is too great. how much death could I inflict upon these rat-sized horses before I vow to see death no more? even if pure survival instinct drives me through all 100, what of the aftermath? surrounded by the carnage of 100 tiny horses with only my own wet breath among 100 still chests? inconceivable. war is hell.

#lordlochness #thanks 4 the ask very thought provoking great ice breaker #(considering you may have just seen my post at random and dont follow me: i promise im joking) #clearly id decimate all 100 rat sized horses without remorse #(also joking!!!) #(probably)

[dedusmuln]

yeah you support trans people but are you normal about trans men who choose to get pregnant

#i'm not a trans guy who evr wants to get pregnant but #the amount of queer ppl and other trans people i see joke around about like #how weird mpreg or men getting pregnant is #and use it as shock value shit #is really disheartening #like damn dude! it's almost like men CAN get pregnant and there IS a lot of men who choose to get pregnant ! #they don't deserve any less respect for that #and their existence shouldn't be made into a joke #ik mpreg doesn't have a great history but like #it just weirds me out to see people treat the idea of men getting pregnant as something baffling #idk normalize it. stop treating it as some weird alien thing #my textbox #a little bit upset. sorry #discourse #pregnancy #<- for filtering

[ruporas]

kiss the pain away

#vashwood #trigun #trigun stampe #vash the stampede #wolfwood #nicholas d wolfwood #ep 10 was crazy bc vashwood was literally the plot goodbye #i like how the most intimate moment between these two was in the goddamn sewers #i feel like that alone symbolizes so much in their relationship. im half joking BUT ITS JUST LIKE #the SPONTANEITY the PRIVACY they get in such an open Space while being literally chased / hunted after.... #and vash is out here showing his scars.............. and ill always lose my mind that they gave this spotlight to wolfwood instead of #meryl and milly like in the previous versions. i dont know how else to read this other than that wolfwood is the romantic interest of stamp #it makes sense even aside from this scene. u know. wolfwood was technically the damsel in distress in ep 5-6 and vash saved/helped him. #and who stayed in the bedroom with vash................. #who rushed to his side when he got shot...... with that worried ass expression.... #i dont have anything smart to say at all im just gushing over vashwood thru stampede bc its just so blatant. and its great that its blatant #bc it was blatant in trimax too. like so blatant. the romance was written in every chapter they showed up together #god #ive never witnessed a pairing more canon without being spoken as such its soooooo much theyre so much #ruporas art

[paradoxbeta]

so there was a little significant harassment

#the great part is this joke works regardless of if you think he gave hunter cancer on purpose or on accident #rain world #rainworld #no significant harassment #rw no significant harassment #rw nsh #seven red suns #rw seven red suns #rw srs #my art #digital art #art #rain world spoilers

[minthy]

Skelebros, woo

(a irl convo w me and my younger sibling actually)

#undertale #the great papyrus #papyrus #sans #sans the skeleton #skelebros #They are us #istg #I'm the Short lazy older sibling with audhd who puts ketchup on everything #and she the taller Judgy younger sibling with autism who hates dogs and my bad jokes #Wohoo

[hawberries]

aventurine tops, because:

#my friend's great joke. #hsr #aventurine #dr ratio #golden ratio #fanart

[leverage-ot3]

I’ve talked about this before but imagine what it’s like for someone in a country/place where eliot is Top Most Wanted and then your tech guy finds a breakout star baseball player on their visual scanner that looks EXACTLY like spencer. but…there’s no way that’s him, right???

and then the next year it happens again but this time it’s some one hit wonder country singer kenneth crane that has like 78 tween-run fangirl blogs dedicated to him. you see a grainy video of him being chased by a horde of screaming teenage girls and ??? no way Eliot Last Thing You’ll Ever See Spencer is a country singer star just. signing pictures of his face right…?

a few months later your intern shows you footage of an eliot lookalike who is in san lorenzo talking about how there is dog fighting in the presidential palace and you just. sigh. because of course. a scant few days later the political geography of the country changes drastically and damien moreau is imprisoned. …interesting

and then a year of silence goes by. he still shows up as blips on the radar but he must have a good hacker working for him because his tracks on the internet are expertly erased.

every time you ask through interagency channels some random interpol guy talks in (condescending?) riddles at you and it also somehow feels like he’s threatening you

and then your friend who recently got into foreign hockey teams sends you a dropyourgloves video of someone called jacques the bear. you immediately get a headache (and watch some more videos because even you can admit this guy is a good hockey player)

and you know he’s a Bad Guy but it’s been admittedly a bit entertaining seeing what claim to fame he will come upon next. and his most recent actions over the few years make you wonder.

a few months later your phone pings because multiple heads of state evacuated from DC. the reason? eliot spencer was in town. you hear two days later a bioterrorist was taken down by… the report was redacted. your hacker tells you spencer and two teammates were behind the successful operation. which, huh.

not even a full year later it is released that spencer is dead and… you don’t know how to feel.

#sorry this turned kinda angsty I just think eliot famousaliases spencer is a great reoccurring joke #eventually an indeterminate amount of months later you see him pop up again and you breathe #at this point all the intel you’ve gotten points that he’s actually doing something good with his life #like he’s changed. and you know he’s a bad guy but he’s doing things that nobody else is really capable of doing. making changes on large #and small scales #he will face consequences eventually you are sure. but his tracks are so well covered already and he’s so slippery so maybe. maybe you just #don’t make your agents work so hard to track him down #you get to know sterling a bit better (and maybe understand him a bit better too) #sterling invites you to an off the books lunch at this brewpub in portland when you’re in the states. the head chef looks familiar #it’s the best food you’ve ever tasted. because OF COURSE it is #at this point you’re not even angry. or resigned anymore. you’re slightly impressed #anyways that’s how sterling’s leverage club gains another member #(mcsweeten was the second member btw. if you’ve seen my other posts) #eliot spencer #eliot spencer meta #headcanons #humor #leverage #jim sterling #(mentioned) #the studio job #the blue line job #the three strikes job #ficlets #mine #a post not on my queue??? more likely than you think #I should make a tag for in universe pov posts #into the leverage verse #headcanons in the tags #the rundown job

[marc--chilton]

house having a reputation for being soooo unserious that all of his passes at wilson are brushed off when in reality he would let wilson fuck him in his fishbowl if wilson would let him

#house md #hilson #regretting not having a tally for all of the gay jokes house makes between him and wilson #there are so many it raises questions (the answer is gay sex. obviously) #“sex with you wouldn't fix me but it would make me better” “what if i like you terrible?” “what if i told you this is foreplay to me” #<- dialogue i want to see happen somewhere even if i must do it myself #also wtf tumblr automatically making arrows with < - i had to find this out on my own!!! great website

[hamsternamedmarinette]

ANOTHER COMIC THAT I DREW AND @carpisuns /@marimbles and @anna-scribbles DEFINITELY HAD NO PART IN!!!1!1!!!!1!!!¡!!!!¡!!

#are you guys sick of this joke yet #too bad #Hamsternamedmarinette's Great American Tumblr Mutual Road Trip #carpisuns #marimbles #anna-scribbles #мой рисунок #<- that's russian for 'my art' #(it really is) #мой пост #ml comic #miraculous ladybug #miraculous #ml #ladynoir

[pettydollie]

”why me?”

matt asks one random night as you sit in his bed while he strokes your hair. your back is leaned against his chest, so neither of your faces is visible.

you furrow your eyebrows. “what do you mean?” you ask, fiddling with a necklace he bought you. he shrugged like it was obvious.

“why did you choose me instead of.. i don’t know, chris?” he hesitantly asks. in this moment, he was relieved that you couldn’t see his face.

you grin slightly and grab his free hand to intertwine your fingers with his. “because i like you, not him, silly.” he nods slowly at this, but that wasn’t the answer he was looking for.

“well i know that, i just mean, what do you like about me that chris doesn’t have?”

you finally quirk your head to look up at him. you stare at him for a few moments before giving him a small kiss. when you pull back, you sigh. “do you really want to know?”

he chuckles and nods. “yeah.”

you scramble to the other side of the bed where your phone is. you snatch it up and unlock it. “i have a list.” you told him, trying to find it piled up in your notes app.

“you have a list?” he giggles. of course you would have a list. you nod your head and smile once you finally found it.

“here we gooo. now get comfy, there’s 134 points.”

#she’s so me #i have 200+ reasons why i would be a great gf #it’s half joke half realness #if i ever find someone worth my time #i will definitely show him that list #matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader #𝓶𝓪𝓽𝓽 𝓼𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓸𝓵𝓸

[saturnisfallingdown]

defending SING is so basic. talk to me when you're ready to take a bullet for the 3rd conventional weapons track AMBULANCE

#/LH OFC. im joshing im joking. but NOT about loving ambulance id NEVER hate ambulance #i'm listening to the very critical chemical fancast coverage of ambulance and shaking my head. only i understand her.... #''these lyrics arent great'' ''the bridge is mediocre'' yeah. but have you tried to have some FUN !!!!!! #mcr

[lonicera-edulis]

A month ago I had a brief moment in dream where I was Bofur. Who forgot to put trousers on for some reason and made some joke which I didn't memorize sadly.

#the hobbit #I think I also had a son? #and it was in my old school #there were people walking around #anyway great dream thank you brain for this rare moment of fun 10/10 would like to know what joke I said though

[flightlessbirdboy]

#ihnmaims #my art #am #allied mastercomputer #great soft jelly thing #ted #ted ihnmaims #i have no mouth and i must scream #this was supposed to be a joke #pls ignore how worm adjacent the j looks

[t00thpasteface]

absolutely miserable experience that Some Fucking Guy would set up shop yelling at students here on campus with one of those big signs listing all the people that are going to hell, like homosexuals and "darwinists" and "dirty dancers". completely humiliating that he would point at students and scream wild assumptions about their orientation, their std status, the appearance of their genitalia, etc. BUT. it's incredibly heartwarming that it only took one or two outbursts for a HUGE crowd of students to gather around in solidarity with each other, laugh at him, play music over him, and wave a huge pride flag AND a jolly roger flag over his head while several women started making out with each other. and as i was walking away to get a bite to eat with my friends, we passed by even more people asking us "is that asshole still out there yammering? i wanna give him a piece of my mind!" THAT'S what it's all about. no matter how much hate and anger there is in this world, there's always going to be kind, warm, helpful people who outnumber it, and who may just need a little encouragement to plant their feet and reach out to each other in the face of the blistering hatred.

#he said some truly vile things but more importantly i think he brought a lot of people together in defiance of him #and he definitely gave my friend group some great new inside jokes about being a divorced virgin LMAO #shebbz shoutz