#my sister cant even do much cause she still has school

[bbybearcubbs]

How does someone manage to piss off someone else before that other person is even aware they're awake???

I just became aware of the world around me for 30 seconds max and you've already managed to make me wish my heart stopped while I was asleep. Because why are you mad at me for you having to iron your own son's school pants??? You're mad you have to iron it even though you gave yourself that task??? You said yourself that you'd handle the ironing of clothes since everyone else had other things to get ready for in the morning.

"That phone you love so much? You go loose it. Because you really pissing me off." EXCUSE YOU?!?

WHAT THE FUCK DOES MY PHONE HAVE TO DO WITH ANY-FUCKING-THING???

Idk if you haven't realized but when was the last time you could complain about the floors being dusty? When was the last time you could complain about the dishes being dirty? When was the last time you could complain about the stove being dirty (right after food was finished being made mind you) When was the last time you could complain about dirty clothes? Or the closest being a mess? Or not finding your shoes under the bed?

I'm stuck at home with the two youngest kids NOT EVEN BY CHOICE and I make it a point to try and keep the place and tidy and neat as possible for 24 hours EVERY DAY because YOU REFUSE to take me to go apply for jobs! I can't do that on my own because I don't have a fucking cent to my name and to get to town I need money because transport costs money!

Don't start ranting early in the mornings as if I haven't been doing shit the entire time I'm home! The only motherfucking thing I don't do is cook and it's only because #1 - I fucking can't and #2 - I'm scared I'll end up wasting ingredients if I tried cause we're broke as fuck, which is no ones fault but you and our moms, and I don't wanna waste anything.

You're recalling the ONE TIME I didn't do the dishes on time in the last month and 2 weeks and blaming it on a phone I didn't have until a week ago?!? You're upset because in the rush of constantly cleaning, dealing with screaming kids on behalf of my mother so she can rest after work and my own screaming mind that never shuts the fuck up, I didn't secure my brothers school pants? Okay yeah I could've hung it up but I didn't think of that, yk why? Cause I was thinking about the living room I needed to clean and the kitchen I needed to clean and the clothes I needed to wash

I forced myself into a sleep schedule so I can do things at a more convenient time for everyone else even though it fucking kills me to be doing anything during the damn day. I work better in the late hours but that's not convenient so I tried to fix the problem and you apparently don't see that. I was up doing chores at 1-2am because our pipe lines suck and we never get running water every day so I needed to refill everything in the house while I could. I also needed to wash as much clothes as possible before they water left. I went to bed at 3 in the fucking morning after having maintained a sleep schedule that has me knocked tf out by 12am.

I was a fucking MESS the next day but STILL managed to follow the fake routine I'd built up. Nothing I do is a routine. I have to actively make the decision to do all those things because adhd is a fucking bitch. And maybe I do rush some days to get back on my phone but that's because I have to play housewife as the oldest kid and haven't left my house beyond going to the shops in the neighborhood twice a week AT MOST. I'M LOOSING MY FUCKING MIND HERE YOU PRICK!!!

Why do I have to walk on eggshells in my own house around my own father because he's a narcissistic, selfish, dumbass??? I'm not supposed to make any mistakes at all??? Name five fucking things I did in the past month that you can consider a problem and I'll stfu.

#cubbs.vent #its fucking 7am and im heated as fuck #you even offered to do the dishes for my sister because she was tired and i couldn't becausr i was busy with my siblings #and you STILL LEFT SOME DISHES THERE #and you didn't “pass a broom” like you always say my sister and i should do #which we always do #my sister cant even do much cause she still has school

[coolprettyleo]

my soul has changed? - will smith au

wc: 1.4k

tw: depression, suggestion of an ED, awkwardness? mean girl.

will smith x oc celebrini sister!

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

lola celebrini was in a point of her life where everything felt still. she was pretty sure she was suffering from depression and it was a cycle she didn't know how to get out of.

she would wake up, go to school, go to work, and then sleep. she was lucky if she fitted a meal in between that meant she had lost tons of weight.

she had been a pretty healthy teen, she played hockey up until high school alongside her brothers; but when the time came to play college hockey, she got no offers. contributing to her depression.

it was a sport she held so much love and dedication, she couldn't understand why she hadn't been good enough? I mean her brothers were good enough, they got college offers. macklin was even projected to go first overall, so why couldn't she?

those were thoughts that were constantly haunting her mind. if she found something to forget them they would flood back in, like if they wanted her to be a lifeless doll she had been feeling like.

her family had been really worried for her. she had finally seen her brothers after a year, at the NCCAA playoffs and it only caused them to worry more.

flashbacks

lola knew that macklin and aiden were gonna bombard her with questions as soon as they were alone. they could hardly recognize her. growing up she was always a smiling person with a big personality and now she was about forty pounds lighter and was a ghost of the person she used to be.

"april what's going on" macklin said shutting the door behind him.

"what do you mean"

"cut the bullshit. I know your not okay, you barley answer my text anymore, what's wrong"

"it's nothing mack-"

"no it's not nothing, maybe I can fix it-

"you cant 'fix' it"

"and why not-"

"because I don't know what wrong with me!"

that had been about two weeks ago. she just didn't know what to tell her family. she really didn't understand why she had been feeling that way.

she was currently at work where she was a barista in a cute coffee shop. she honestly loved working there, she had got the job when she was in high school and had kept it till college. seeing as she didn’t move far away for college, choosing to stay close to her parents.

she often wondered if she might be happier if she moved away just like everyone else did, just like her brothers did. but it would always end in her telling herself; that it's not worth dwelling on.

it was currently six am and at this time of day there weren’t many customers. the cafe was always busy mid day when people were looking to find somewhere to study.

so she was surprised when she turned the open side around, to find a boy waiting outside to come in. a boy who looked a lot like will smith.

lola wasn’t an idiot to hockey, she kept up with it a fairly good amount, so she would have to be living under a rock to not know the guy who dominated the ice at her brothers rivalry school.

that didn’t mean she wasn’t going to act like she didn’t know him.

he reached for the handle and took a look at her before turning as red as a tomato and blushing,

“hey, are you guys open?” he asked nervously, mentally slapping himself because he just saw her turn the sign around, to ‘open’

“uhm yeah I’ll be with you in a sec” she told him.

will couldn’t help but think her voice was cute. she had a rasp to it that made him want to give her everything she’s ever wanted.

lola finished up, putting the coffee too brew and turned to the counter.

“okay! order when your ready”

“uhm. i actually never been here before… any recs?” he asked after a moment nervously scratching his neck.

“well I get a dirty chai, but considering my brothers hate it, you might hate it too… I guess you might like a frap?” she told him, a little too monotone.

“yeah okay” he told her again nervously. he found her to be breathtakingly beautiful.

he paid and stood back as she got to making the drink.

“you from here?” will asked hoping to make small talk.

“uhm kinda. I was born in Vancouver but moved here when my dad got a job”

will panicked. oh god was she still in highschool

lola must of saw the worry on his face because she added,

“that was a couple years ago, im eighteen now” she said smiling at his face. something she didn’t do often anymore.

“oh, i’m eighteen too”

“oh yeah, what brings you to san jose, school?” she said innocently knowing very well he was drafted here and was most likely here to work on development.

“no. I”m came to meet with some people here. I go to boston college” he answered. lola starting to not feel so bad because she saw he didn’t want to right away say he was a hockey player.

“far from home huh”

“yeah, i’m literally across the country from everything and everybody i’ve ever known” he told her wanting to slap himself. did she need to know that!?!

“i’m sorry. it’ll get easier” she said remembering her brother had been homesick too but utimatly started feeling better after some time-- as she handing him his drinks and gave him a sympathetic face.

“yeah i hope so, i should be moving here soon, if everything goes right” he said as he took a sip.

“hey this is good!” he said taking another sip as lola smiled. something that will thought looked amazing on her.

lola smiled at him remembering the fact her brothers liked that drink. boys were so typical

“i’m glad… and hey— if you ever need a friend in town my names lola” she told him as she held her hand out to him to shake.

will starred at it for a moment before he quickly met her hand.

“will” he told the girl with a smile.

they were cut out of there moment when two customers walked in.

“I should get back to work. i’ll see you around will” she told him as he smiled a nodded and walked right out.

say something! ask for my number! do anything!

lola felt really dumb after she basically just presented herself in a silver platter to the boy and he didn’t finish his part in asking for her number. he had definitely rejected her in the nicest way someone possibly could.

meanwhile will got into the Uber with a gitty feeling. she seemed really cool and having someone to hang out with other than his teammates was going to be so nice.

he was midway into the meeting with some general managers when he realized he didn’t even ask for her number.

“oh my god” he mumbled as he came to the realization

"i'm sorry?" one of the GM's said confused.

“uhh— I said I was excited to join the franchise!” he covered up, feeling like an idiot.

hopefully she was still there after the meeting.

the meeting had gone a little to long for his liking and as he raced down to the coffee shop he hoped she was working a long shift.

he opened the door to see a blonde girl who looked old but yet looked young, and a taller boy with curly hair working behind the counter.

“hi. is lola working today?” he said breathlessly

the blonde eyed him for a moment before smirking,

“I don't recall a lola ever working here...my name samantha though” she said with a face that will knew was a face of someone who was lying.

“yes there is, she helped me earlier-"

“if your here to file a complaint against her, I can totally help you then,” she said

“no she was great— wait, you said you didn’t know an lola-“

“your looking for lola?” the other barista cut in

“yeah she was here earlier, i was hoping she was still here”

“she got off like two hours ago but i can give you her number!” the curly haired boy told will. he was one of lola's friends and he wasn’t going to ruin this opportunity for her.

“you totally can’t do that!” the blonde girl said in a nasally voice.

“shutup samantha. go take candy from a baby or something” he sassily told her.

she rolled her eyes before walking away to wipe a table down.

“sorry about her, here’s her number— good luck!”

“thankyou so much” he told him as he thought about what exactly to text the pretty girl.

both lola and will not knowing the epic love story they were about embark on.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

hi guys! i hope this is kinda good, dont feel shy to send in ask and au thoughts… i like never get any but im so open to it!!

#nhl imagine #nhl imagines #hockey fic #will smith hockey #bc hockey #gabe perreault #ryan leonard #will smith hockey x reader #jacob fowler #bc eagles #will smith hockey x oc #will smith hockey imagine #gabe perreault x reader #nhl #hockey imagine #lola x will

[jaemified]

major, minor, and the things in between - nishimura riki

"are we friends, lovers, or whatevers in between?"

pairing ; nishimura riki x fem!reader

genre ; slice of life, enemies to lovers-ish (y/ns mean to riki smh), romance, drama, fluff, small angst, non idol au

warnings ; swearing, drinking, brief mention of blood (someone gets cut), mention of offing yourself but its just niki making a joke

wordcount ; 7.0k

synopsis ; though never quite well acquainted, sim y/n had always felt strongly against nishimura riki, until her brother jake had forced them to get along. but, what was meant to have them get closer turns into something a little more.

note (5/29) - there isnt rlly much mention of jake/nikis actual siblings but for one scene theirs like additional (baby) siblings

note (7/10) - its finally here!! im a little upset it took me 2 months to write 7k since i used to be able to write 4k in 8hrs but summer has been kicking my ass so im glad its out despite being 10 days past release date

taglist 🏷️ ; @stinkoscope @asyleums

read below the cut !

"'when im with you, i.. im so happy. i like you, na bora!' 'i like you. i like you too! i really really like you!'" y/n cried at her computer screen, rewatching 20th century girl for the 2nd time this week, before being so rudely interrupted by her brothers presence, bugging her with the same, repetitive question. the same question hes been asking for years on end now.

"the guys are coming over and of course you know niki is gonna be here as well. i want you to talk to him. why cant you just be friends?"

"id appreciate it a lot if youd leave, this is my space."

"i dont know if you noticed, but this is a small flat with not much room to move around. its not only you living here you know." jake reminded.

of course y/n knew there was limited space, she knew the moment she first realized she had already circled about the unit, trying to escape her brothers nagging.

"if you know theres not enough room for you and me then what makes you think theres room to accommodate an additional 6 other grown ass men. go to your room, im doing homework.'

'annoying..'

"you were literally just crying watching 20th century girl milliseconds before i walked in, and im not asking much y/n! all i want is for you to talk to him, even pretend like youre getting along, thats it!" jake remarked, before catching the pillow y/n attempted to throw at his face.

'so damn annoying.' y/n thought, growing more and more annoyed by her brothers constant nagging as each second passed.

"whats so hard about getting along with niki? hes a good kid!" jake complained. since his little sister couldnt get along with one of his best friends, it made even the intimate gatherings.. unpleasantly awkward.

"hes annoying, like you are being right now."

"no, why do you really hate him so much."

"i dont know! he just reminds me of someone i guess? and he always cheated on projects back in middle school. even stole my ideas so he could make it look like im in the wrong."

"thats it? youre holding a grudge over him just being a middle school kid from, what, 5 years ago? cmon, theres gotta be something better then that. not to mention even if there wasnt, that makes you sound hella dumb holding a grudge from the 7th grade when youre graduating next year."

y/n thought to herself. of course there was another reason, but it seemed unnecessary to bring up. and she also just didnt want to share it with jake. or maybe, it wasnt the right reason after all.

"well hes cocky as hell and is still a better dancer, basketball player, volleyball player then i, not to mention ive been playing longer and layla likes him more then she likes me!"

"thats your fault youre never home, laylas just more used to him. and me. i am clearly her favorite between you and i."

"more like his fault hes practically living in my apartment cause hes never at his own home. and how can she be more used to him when ive known her since way before she met riki.."

"tough luck." jake pat y/n on the head on his way out before shutting the door.

__________________________________________

the sound of the doorbell awoke y/n from her, well, what was meant to be a quick nap (which later turned into a 4 hour sleep). just as she slowly got out of bed to answer it, she heard jake yell from down the hall, "ive got it! make sure you dont look stupid or anything in front of my friends!"

she rolled her eyes and climbed back into bed, thinking about her outfit. standard pajamas, plaid shorts and a black tee (which probably wasnt even hers). she thought about how the one person out of the 6 she didnt want to see would be out there. truth be told, even she herself didnt know the best explanation as to why she hated riki so much. y/n figured it was because of a little mishap back during freshmen year and she just couldnt bring herself to apologize for everything that had been said during that time, so she forced herself to continue hating him. 'yeah, seems about right.'

the sound of the door opening caught her attention and the next thing she knew, there was a boy in a cream essentials hoodie jumping onto her.

"oh shit, what the f-"

"hi y/nnn!" sunoo smiled, carefully getting off his best friend.

y/n was in joy once she realized who it was, and brought him into a tight hug.

"hey sunoo! god it feels like forever since i last saw you!"

it was really only a week.

"i know right! its been too long!"

she smiled, no matter what mood she was in, sunoo always was the sunshine in the rain.

"so, whos here?"

"oh, you know the usual. sunghoon, heeseung, jake, and jay hyung. niki and jungwon are supposed to be setting up something in the courtyard."

"setting up what?"

"a volleyball net. jake was on nikis ass all week and wanted him to 1v1 you while we all played basketball. jungwon just wanted to help however he could, hes been tired all week from his job and the dance program."

no fucking way.

"youre saying i have to be alone, with nishimura riki? hell no!"

"isnt it great?" "this is a disaster!" they both exclaimed in unison.

"how is that bad?" "how is this good?!"

sunoo signaled for y/n to continue first. "i just cant stand riki. jakes been on my ass to talk to him but i didnt think hed actually talk to him, or that hed even listen either."

"seriously? i always thought you had a thing for him. i mean, you look good together, you both share mainly the same interests, mainly the same circle, not to mention the undeniable love you have when your eyes meet-"

"okay thats enough! you know what, how bout we go outside, im hungry anyway."

sunoo shrugged and went along with y/n down the hall.

he was slightly surprised when he saw niki and jungwon sitting on the couch, having a sip of their drinks.

"back already? i thought you were setting up the nets."

"yeah, but it was easier then expected. and we didnt even need to go to the lobby for the stuff. it was all already in the courtyard." jungwon told the two with a smile, proud of their work.

"y/n." niki looked at her with that stupid grin she had always hated.

"nishimura."

"i didnt know youd be here." he observed, ignoring how she had addressed him by his last name instead of niki, or riki.

she scoffed, crossing her arms.

"i live here dipshit. you think id run away just cause i knew you were coming?"

niki got up from his seat and walked closer, and closer, until their faces were mere centimeters away.

"just like you ran from all our problems in freshmen year huh?"

"you realize it was all because of what you did, dont you?"

it took niki a minute to notice how close they were. he looked down at her lips before realizing what sunoo and jungwon were saying in the background. "are they about to kiss?"

"hell no!" y/n and niki both yelled out in unison, quickly pushing away from each other.

"whatever. i need to use the bathroom, i cant stand seeing your face." she remarked to niki.

as soon as y/n closed the bathroom door, she let out a breath she never knew she was holding in, slowly trying to register what had just happened. 'did i really almost kiss him.'

minutes after being stuck in the bathroom for so long, she left and walked into the main living space, only to notice everyone was gone.

well, almost everyone.

"are you serious."

y/n dryly stared at the boy sitting on her couch, in her spot, watching her favorite show.

"i forgot you were still here." niki yawned.

"where is everyone?"

"did you seriously not hear them say theyre gonna get food and that theyll be back in.. three hours or more?"

"three hours or more? it does not take that long to get food, youre fucking with me." y/n walked into hers and jakes individual bedrooms to see if anyone was hiding from her, to her dismay, niki wasnt lying.

"it does if youre getting food from busan."

"why the fuck are they going all the way to busan for food??"

"language! my young ears cant take this!"

"shut up nishimura youre only 11 days younger."

"more like 11 years at heart cause you act like a grumpy old lady all the time.."

"whatd you just call me?"

"nothing!"

"so why are they going all the way to busan for food again?" y/n reminded, getting niki back on track.

"cause they got a friend whos house is down there and hes in town for the weekend, they said theyll bring us home our own order."

y/n walked into the kitchen, rummaging for food.

"what are you doing now?"

"looking for food, im gonna die if i see your ugly ass face any longer."

"what are you on about 'ugly'? girls at school love this face."

"and apparently you loved those girls too much in return.."

niki got up from the couch and walked over to the kitchen bar, sitting down. "are you still mad at me about that?"

she stopped what she was doing and looked at niki, not saying anything, hoping it was enough of an answer.

"so you are." 'so he isnt all that dumb'

"look, i didnt know she had bad intentions, and you were right, i shouldve listened to you. but you really have to stop avoiding me. how was i supposed to tell you i didnt realize what she was trying to do if you keep running away?"

"how do you not realize no matter how many times i warned you?"

"i thought you did it because you were jealous."

"i did it because i loved you!"

niki froze, thinking he was crazy, thinking maybe he hadnt heard right.

"you what?"

"past tense. loved, not love. and how could you think so badly of me? we were supposed to trust each other, always tell the truth, and you thought i told you she would end up using you was because you thought i was jealous? how could you?"

he sighed, thinking about what he had done, realizing how badly he had mistreated y/n in the past, realizing there was no reversing it. he walked into the kitchen where y/n was, backing her into the corner as the kitchen was just as small as the apartment itself.

"get away from me!" she yelled, throwing ramen packet after ramen packet at niki.

"no. i know i havent been the best to you-" "more like you know youve been the worst."

niki glared at y/n.

"-and i know theres no reversing it. i realize i cant undo the past, but what i can do, is fix our future. i want to show you i can be better to you then i was then. we can be what we used to be before, us. our spark."

"there is no us, or we, or, our. but maybe just you, caught up in your daydreams." y/n pushed niki out the way, and walked out the kitchen, not noticing she was slowly being followed.

"i loved you too you know. except for the fact that i still do."

"can you just please leave." she turned around, now facing him.

her vision blurred, head dizzy, face stained, all as her glass like tears trickled down her cheeks.

"hey, its okay. dont cry."

"get away from me!"

niki attempted to hug y/n as she fought against him, trying to run from his grasp, struggling to no avail. she eventually fell still in his hold, forgetting its natural warmth and comfort.

"im sorry for everything." was the last thing y/n heard before falling asleep, growing tired and stressed from everything that had just happened.

__________________________________________

it was late at night by the time everyone else had come back, 2am to be exact. traffic was unusually heavy though it was a saturday night, not to mention the designated driver and his understudy (heeseung and sunghoon. yikes, scary night) ended up being the most wasted while everyone else was still tipsy. poor jungwon, still tired from a 4 hour nap after being on 2 hours of sleep all day, had to drive everyone through the slow traffic.

jake, who was slightly sobering up, turned on the lights in the dark room and dimmed them as his head was still throbbing. he walked into the living room and saw y/n, fast asleep with her head on nikis shoulder with his arm around her as he finished the rest of avengers endgame.

jake knew his sister well enough to know she had been crying once he focused on her puffy red eyes. but, it was a sweet moment, y/n was passed out, niki was barely conscious, and everyone was painfully drunk or achey. he figured he would just yell at riki for whatever happened in the morning.

sunghoon and heeseung ran into the kitchen (as best they could without tipping over) for water, jungwon had knocked out as soon as he sat down in the chair next to y/n, jay was busy trying to figure out how to use jakes water filter, and sunoo was sitting at the kitchen bar eating a pudding cup.

jay called for jakes help, just as his eyes had fluttered shut. begrudgingly so, jake got up and helped the three boys it the kitchen. "you press the bottom button, not the top button. the top is for ice."

"thanks." "yeah whatever."

"i know youre tired hyung, but so are we. where are we all supposed to sleep?" sunoo quietly asked, putting his hand on jakes shoulder.

he thought, looking at the three sprawled out in the living room, and the three bubbling nonsense in the kitchen. "jay and sunghoon can stay with me, ill move niki and y/n to her room, you can stay in the living room with jungwon and heeseung hyung. but move jungwon to the couch since he drove everyone."

"thanks-" sunoo cut himself off as he heard the sound of jakes receding footsteps.

__________________________________________

morning came, and though it wasnt a good one, y/n wanted to remedy that. or, remedy the nasty hangover she knew everyone would be experiencing.

she had woken up with her eyes puffy and red, and even though she didnt want to get up she knew she would have to eventually.

"is that hangover soup i smell?" jake asked tiredly, rubbing his eyes as he walked out his room.

"well i know riki doesnt know how to cook and jungwons still asleep. so who else would be making it?" y/n flashed a tired smile, pouring a serving for jake.

"so, why were you crying last night? and dont say you werent or that you just didnt sleep well. ive lived with you long enough now to tell the difference between your 'i didnt get enough sleep' eyes, and your 'i was crying pretty hard' eyes." he interrogated as he took a big sip of the soup. so good he almost felt better already.

"what did he tell you? or were you watching me?"

"he didnt tell me anything, he was already asleep by the time we came back. i just saw the look on your face and knew."

"just reminiscing on some bad times is all."

jake raised a brow at his sister, taking another sip.

"you dont have to tell me now if you dont want to. but i do want to hear about everything. later. when my head isnt pounding like when i heard mom push you out in the emergency room. after i take a nap. and when youve bought jungwon some coffee."

"me? why do i have to buy him coffee? im not the one who drove him because the designated drivers were too wasted."

"we typically treat him to an iced americano since hes always up taking care of us when were drunk, but we havent gotten this wasted in a while. and he spent so long getting sunghoon out the house, not to mention the long drive to the point he ended up falling asleep as soon as we got back."

y/n thought about it before mumbling a, "tough luck" to jake, patting him on the back before walking into her bedroom.

she was met with the sight of niki making the bed as she walked in. "when did you wake up?" she quietly asked.

"not too long ago, you?"

"about an hour ago. i had to cook for them."

"ah. did you sleep well? i know sleeping upright on the couch mustve been a lot less comfortable then this."

"i guess. i dont remember waking up to walk here though. jake probably carried me."

"he was way wasted, snoring loudly way before i woke up. how else do you think you got here?"

it took a minute for it to click in y/ns mind when she realized it was niki who took her to the room and slept next to her. this whole time, she thought it was her brother who lent his own room to his friends.

"of course not, he just asked me to help or make sure you got to bed safely and that i could stay with you since there was nowhere else."

'that bastard.. ill kill him one of these days. im surprised i havent already.' she spoke to herself in her head.

"so. are we good now?" niki questioned, walking over to the other side of the room.

"how can you ask me such a thing after making me relive one of the worst memories of high school ive ever had?"

"it wasnt my intention. i was just trying to explain-" "theres nothing to explain when i had already given you multiple warnings. thats on you."

y/n threw a pillow at niki and walked away, back outside.

"what was that all about?" sunghoon asked, taking a sip of the coffee he had just made. 'where did he get silk pajamas from. are- are those mine?'

"what?"

"not to bother, but i mean, you were kind of yelling." heeseung explained to y/n.

she let out a sigh, rubbing her forehead in stress.

"i dont want to talk about it right now. i- actually. you know what? ill be back."

"where are you going?" sunoo asked y/n, following her to her room just as niki walked out.

"somewhere, not sure yet. dont follow me."

"i wont, i know how much you value your alone time but- oh youre changing. hold on ill turn around. but please be safe. when will you be back?"

sunoo turned back around and saw she had changed into beige cargos and a white crop top. realizing he was staring, he looked around the room, before a certain picture caught his eyes. he walked closer to get a better look. it was baby jake feeding yogurt to baby y/n. 'awe, they were always close werent they.' he hadnt even realized y/n was talking to him, and by the time he faced where y/n was standing, she had already left out the front door.

y/n🤨; srry, u were so immersed in that picture of jake and i as kids, but i rlly wanted to leave. i cant handle being around niki. see u l8r

sunoo😴 ; no worries, have fun, stay safe, and dont take any candy from strangers lol

__________________________________________

y/n drives to her favorite cafe she always used to visit with her brother, mama han's. she sits down at the bar and scrolls deep into her camera roll, coming across some mundane memories of her and riki back when they were close.

"what can i get you, hun?" the waitress, jiwoo, asked with a small grin. she didnt look to be any younger than 40 something now, compared to the last time she visited the spot. jiwoo was always the waitress here, even served the two frequently in their childhood when they visited from australia.

"just a vanilla shake is all. extra whip please."

"sweetie, arent you lactose? it must be pretty bad if you want extra dairy."

"yeah, it is. but, im not comfortable talking about it at the moment if thats alright."

"of course it is. just hope youre doing okay." jiwoo pat y/n on the shoulder, before reaching down to get the ingredients.

"hows your brother? havent seen either one of you in a while."

"hes well, a little hungover, but hes fine."

jiwoo laughed as she poured milk into the blender. "of course. what more to expect from your brother. well, how are you? i realized i didnt really ask."

"im alright. and, do you remember niki?"

"little niki from when you were kids? the one you used to like- oh dear, dont tell me hes the reason as to why youre so down?"

"long story, but yeah. its fine though, ill deal with it. but what about you, whats going on? did you ever pursue your dream as an actress?"

"no, and i regret not going for it. i didnt get to be in stairway to heaven, but shinhye and taehee did though. which is why you need to go for what you want, otherwise you really will regret it." jiwoo advised, adding the cherry on top of the extra whip prior to sliding the glass over to y/n.

"so i should forgive him?"

"if its what you want. though i dont know the backstory, i do know that as long as its something you want then its worth a shot. the worst he can say is no, you know?"

"yeah.. oh and jiwoo, can i get a chocolate shake to go?"

"no problem, just give me 4 minutes. and- oh dont worry about it, put your card away! its on the house."

___________________________________________

y/n heard her phone buzz in the center console as she pulled into an empty parking lot. she turned the engine off the car and pulled out her phone.

sim jaeyun ; Can you come home

Y/n Sim ; can u stop using caps

sim jaeyun ; I don't think it matters but okay

sim jaeyun ; can you stop disappearing whenever you're mad at someone

Y/n Sim ; can you change my name so its not in caps

sim jaeyun ; can you stop changing the topic and just drive back because niki wants to talk to you and i was getting worried

Y/n Sim ; can u change my name

'sim jaeyun' has changed your display name to 'y/n sim'

y/n sim ; i bought u a shake from jiwoos

sim jaeyun ; no you didn't she probably got it to you for free

y/n sim ; cz im her fav sim

sim jaeyun ; im going to tell all the guys about how you pissed yourself at disneyland on splash mountain

y/n sim ; driving home rn

sim jaeyun ; no texting while driving love u

y/n sim ; lyt

she let out a small laugh at her brothers texts. she quickly got out the car, taking some pictures of the sunset for her instagram, and posting it, before driving out as the milkshake was beginning to melt.

niki got the alert y/n had posted and pressed the notification at the top of his screen. he didnt miss how the caption referenced wave to earth as it was always their favorite band to listen to together.

@/05sim_y/nn ; how can my day be bad when im with u? - [9m ago]

liked by @/02sim_ikeuu, @/suniskim, and 99 others - 20 comments

@/rikimura has liked this post ! [now]

___________________________________________

after getting back home and taking a relaxing shower (thanks to everyone leaving 2 hours prior), y/n had continued to keep herself up at night for the past week before deciding it was time to talk to riki.

she pushed her feelings aside, waking up on a random wednesday morning at the crack of dawn then randomly told herself 'ive got to do this, for my brothers sake and our friend group.' (or so she unconvincingly tried to convince herself, but thats already another thing she didnt want to get into at the moment) y/n quickly threw on whatever clothes she could gather laying about the floor, then ran to grab her car keys and hurry out the door.

as soon as she swung the big piece of metal open, she was met with the familiar sight of nishimura riki knowing when hes done wrong, his guilty face, with his hand raised and ready to knock.

"what are you doing here at the ass crack of dawn?"

"what are you doing ready to run out your apartment like its the olympics as the ass crack of dawn?" he responded to her question with a question, with the intent of knowing how much she hated it.

"actually, i was about to leave to see you. i think its time we had a talk. you know, after my.. moment, that i had last week."

"yeah. i know. its not your fault i realize now, or, im telling you that but ive realized it since the moment i lost you. i think-"

niki was interrupted by jake shouting from across the flat, "if youre gonna finally have this talk i think you should go somewhere else! can you leave soon? 'cause my girlfriends gonna come over at like 12!"

"i seriously doubt any place is open for us to be going to at 5:41 in the morning." y/n yelled in response.

"you know well mama han's is open now, and jiwoo works day and night, just go there so i can be alone!" "for 7 hours?"

niki laughed in response as he registered what jake and y/n were arguing over.

"what girlfriend?-" "-talking stage, technically, but he says theyre dating because she accidentally kissed his cheek on their first date when reaching to grab something near him."

"i remember her lips on my skin like it was yesterday, meanwhile you have yet to kiss niki." jake scoffed in english, the words flowing smoothly off his tongue with his accent before walking closer towards where y/n was standing.

"gross. if anything her accidentally very barely brushing her lips against your stupid face is the only action youll ever be getting if you keep trying to get rid of your one and only favorite little sister." y/n muttered in response, slightly ignoring niki muttering about how he thinks y/ns accent sounds cute.

"really?"

-

and so y/n found herself driving to mama han's cafe with niki after jake called their eldest brother, complaining she should listen to him because shes younger and if she wouldnt listen to jake himself then maybe she would listen to her older-older brother.

"you should listen to your older siblings but jake, if you had someone coming over you shouldve told her in advance. and what are you even gonna do alone for 6 hours??"

after being seated and placing their orders, niki brought back the conversation from earlier that had sort of been killed by jake.

"i get it, youre mad at me, and i shouldve listened to you. i know i fucked up and i know you see it too. i get it if you dont want to forgive me yet, or if you ever even will. but when you decide we could be good, im always here for you."

"why would i be here if i hadnt been prepared to forgive you?"

"huh?"

"i seriously question how dense you are sometimes."

"thanks for believing in me."

"no problem, but seriously. i forgive you. as much as i hate to admit it since i know youll use it against me, but i kinda missed having you around. i mean, you were my first love among other things but you were also one of my first and closest friends. it wont always be the same but im sure if we try enough we can get pretty damn close."

"god have you always been so philosophical?"

the two burst into laughter together, smiling as they took a sip of their milkshakes, reminiscing on the times they had spent together in their earlier high school years. it was moments like these that they has missed the most.

by far the most fun together (said niki), by far the most fun theyve had in a while (said y/n) after having spent the morning together, discussing and going over whats happened in the past few hours before going to pay. "ive got it," niki said, pulling out his card. "its the least i can do."

"thank you for today. i know i was hard on you but i needed this."

"no worries, i think ive owed you for a long time now right?"

"i need to do something in here real quick. you mind waiting in the car?"

"wait are you gonna be okay? i dont wanna leave you here alone."

"im a regular here, i know the people. its fine."

"are you sure?"

"if you go ill let you have the aux."

thats all it took for niki to run straight for the car, rushing to open the door.

y/n laughed as she saw him waving from the passengers seat, before going to talk to jiwoo who was busy wiping down the counters. she took a seat at the bar and felt comfort as jiwoo flashed the same smile she always would throughout y/ns childhood.

"thats a hell of a boy youve got there. special one isnt he?"

"you could say that in the very least. hes definitely special to me though."

"thats the boy you were tellin my sister about? he aint from round here, that right?" an distinct, familiar, voice spoke from the back kitchen.

"auntie jiwon?" y/n questioned in shock.

jiwon is jiwoos sister, she also used to work at the cafe just as much as jiwoo did. had been a favoritre of the customers including the sims themselves before moving to the countryside, only popping up on occasion. jake would call jiwon auntie since she was older and it had also grown on y/n.

"thats my name isnt it?" she chuckled as y/n ran up to hug her.

"wow, i cant believe it. i havent seen you in like, 7 years!"

"been a long time right? well, im just down here for a short while before i gotta go back. just here for a weddin and thought to visit my sister at work."

"thats great auntie, too bad you arent here for longer."

"yeah, well. thats what happens when you get 3 divorces and run out of money, that right jiwoo? but, seriously, whats with that boy of yours? he dont seem to be from here."

"hes not, hes from japan, for the dance academy we all go to."

"that explains a bunch. i always knew youd be a dance. you have quite the physique for it, no?"

jiwoo interrupted jiwon from rambling on the way she always would, quickly seeing y/ns desire to leave as she has other things to tend to.

"alright well, im sure y/n has plenty of things to do as do we, so we all really should be going. its about time for the regulars to start coming in." jiwoo awkwardly laughed as she too seemingly forgot her sisters idiosyncratic personality.

"you dont want to spend time with your auntie jiwon is it? kids nowadays have no sort of respect for their elders. you could drive a preacher to drink!"

y/n awkwardly cleared her throat and put on a smile, frozen in a sort of way as auntie jiwon hadnt seemed to be the same as she was 8 years ago.

"oh im only joking now! go on then, ill just see you in another 8 years." she sighed, overexaggerating the moment.

"its not like youre her real aunt anyway." jiwoo muttered, yet jiwon heard it.

"like your supposed to be? what are you to her anyway?"

"someone whos around of course! i practically raised her and babysitted her on top of running a restaurant with my own children whenever her parents would be in office from dusk till dawn with her brother busy at school with his own life."

"i was there too you know! she would tell me things she never told you."

"she only told you things because you made her! she was scared of you!" jiwoo rolled her eyes at jiwon before quickly gesturing for y/n to go.

"what are you doing- where is she going?" "somewhere where youre not."

-

as y/n go back into the car, she slightly scared niki in the middle of a game.

"what happened in there? looked kinda tense. never seen the other lady before."

"jiwoos sister. shes kinda crazy and possessive and scary. didnt even know she came back."

"maybe we should go.. shes kinda walking towards the car so i suggest to step on the gas."

"shit- shes what??"

------------------------------------------------------

within the next few months, niki and y/n drew closer to one another like they were before.

it was only a matter of time before their unresolved feelings for one another began to surface, yet they continued to push it down with all their might, not wanting to ruin anything like before.

so here y/n was, watching some random kdrama out of boredom, completely uninterested before she received a text from niki.

nishimura ; help

sim ; with what

nishimura ; baysitinf

sim ; the fuck

nishimura ; hold - my brother just took my phone

sim ; babysitting?

nishimura ; yes pls

nishimura ; jake literally js dropped off ur sister here while my brother was having a hyper thingy

nishimura ; hes just very hyper

nishimura ; send a swat team.

sim ; i dont rlly wanna watch sarang tho😐

nishimura ; BUT ITS UR SISTER??

sim ; yea but she’s a headache i have to deal with that like every weekend

sim ; i gave her to jake so i can have a free day just for her to bounce back to me😒 sim ; i hate guys named jake

nishimura ; thats what u get for abandoning a 5 year old

sim ; then im not helping

nishimura ; that lego set i bought you arrived today

sim ; see u in 20

and so here y/n found herself driving towards nikis apartment, reminding herself to lecture her brother once they both get home.

“good thing you came otherwise i mightve actually killed myself.”

“this better be good, i dropped crash landing on you for this.”

with that, niki stepped aside to point at the kids behind him without breaking eye contact with y/n, not wanting to look inside only to furrow his brows as she tilted her head in confusion.

“is this a joke?” she scoffed.

“what are you talking about?” his jaw dropped once he saw sarang and hiro getting along together just fine, completing some puzzle together. “i swear they werent getting along and hiro was just bouncing off the walls, plus sarang was like having a meltdown about ice cream!”

y/n slightly grinned then spoke, “you look fine. they look more then fine. you don’t need my help. did you just want an excuse to see me?”

“no! i- i mean i kinda wanted to see you but that’s not why- i, ughh!”

y/n held back a small laugh at nikis frustration before she heard the two kids watching them giggle adoringly at their older siblings.

“riki has a girlfriend!” “y/n has a boyfriend!” hiro and sarang exclaimed in excitement.

“im going home.”

“absolutely not.” y/n groaned in annoyance while niki pulled her into the house by grabbing onto her shoulder.

“so.” he awkwardly started, rubbing the back of his neck nervously with the palm of his hand.

“so??”

“about yesterday.”

“what about it.”

“we’re good right?”

“of course we are.” she reassured.

just as niki was able to reply, sarang began to cry loudly, like she saw a monster in her closet or something.

“what happened?”

“i cut myself!” she cried, showing the skin between her fingers. her and hiro had been doing small arts and crafts for the past hour, so she has hurt herself with the scissors.

“just put a bandaid on and ice it.” y/n rolled her eyes, shaking her head while not even bothering to look up from her phone.

“you’re so mean y/n unnie!” sarang pouted before holding her ‘injured’ hand up to nikis face.

“what is this, the school nurse? you gotta be a more helpful sister then that.”

“i am helpful. i asked her what happened then gave her a solution.”

“but you were so mean to her.”

“im teaching her to be tough! our parents were hard on me and my brothers, so we have to be hard on her.”

“but you aren’t your parents. you’re y/n.”

“but what if i don’t want to be just y/n?”

“well, then that’s not something you can control. you’re you whether you like it or not. you gotta learn to accept life as it is. that’s what really being hard on yourself is, and that’s what it does to you.”

niki goes over to sarang to pick her up and carry her over to the kitchen. he sets her on the counter and grabs a pastel flower print bandaid before placing a small kiss onto where he placed the bandaid.

he coos at her lovingly, with him who’d always seen her as his own sister having had watching her grow up since she was born despite her not really remembering much of him.

y/n felt her heart melt as she saw how good he was with her baby sister.

she got up from her seat to go over where they were, wrapping her arms around nikis waist to envelop him with into a warm back hug, pressing her head into the space between his shoulder and neck, letting it rest there.

“mean unnie.” sarang stuck out her tongue at y/n, pushing her face away from niki as she stuck out her tongue back.

“what are you, 5?”

“no but she is.”

niki sighed before pulling away (he really didnt want to but you didnt need to know that) grabbing his car keys, and picking up his brother.

“let’s go for some ice cream.”

so here you were, sitting at the local ice cream parlor together.

niki’s face turned as he watched you absolutely devour those three scoops (scoups) of mint chip.

“i seriously dont see how you could eat that. it tastes like toothpaste.”

“why are you talking when you’re eating plain vanilla.”

“hey, sometimes basic is better!”

“well you don’t have to like mint then. ‘cause me and this kid do!” she jokingly replied, hugging said kid (hiro) while niki and sarang rolled their eyes with their vanilla cones.

“hate to be a bother, but you guys are such a cute little family. youre just like me with my kids when they were still young. and, little girl, you really have your fathers eyes.” an elder women from a table across the parlor smiled, patting y/n and niki on the shoulder as she ignored her husbands remarks “stop disturbing the little couple!”

“do we really look like a family?”

“sort of, if you really think about it.”

“okay but she had to be lying because your eyes look nothing like sarangs.”

“i mean.. if you look closely enough.”

“you aren’t even korean!”

they laughed together, for the first time in a while.

“okay, but on a serious note. what are we? are we friends, lovers, or whatever’s in between?”

“i mean.. I guess for now, in between.”

“please date y/n unnie! shes sooo lonely and boring.” sarang interrupted, tugging on nikis sleeve.

“yeah! and i want more playdates with sarang!” hiro pouted, looking up with puppy eyes at y/n.

niki laughed at the kids’ reactions, before taking y/ns hand into his.

“well, no matter what you decide, let’s see where this takes us. they seem to be up for it anyway.”

“you’re right. alright, fine. but if you fuck this up again, you realize you’re not getting another chance, right?”

“i promise i won’t hurt you again. it already cost me everything last time.”

“glad you’re aware.” she bitterly mumbled.

“so. you will date me then?”

“ill think about it.”

#kpop imagines #enhypen fanfiction #enhypen #enhypen x reader #enhypen fluff #enhypen scenarios #jake sim #niki enhypen #niki x reader #nishimura niki x reader #nishimura riki #riki imagines #enhypen niki #jungwon x reader #enhypen imagines #niki x you #nishimura niki #riki au #enhypen riki #enhypen reactions #kpop scenarios #kpop fanfic #park sunghoon #heeseung #yang jungwon #jungwon #jungwon imagines #nishimura riki x reader #enhypen jay #jaemified

[n1k1tty]

012 - we never changed (written!)

the moment jake sent that message about meeting up in the library, you haven’t been able to focus that whole weekend. your mom often looked at you with concern in her eyes whenever you would squeal out of the blue thinking about having to spend some time in the library with your ex boyfriend jake. just like the old times.

“yn what’s up with you lately? every time i pass by, it’s like a rat bit your butt” your mom laughed as you choked on your cereals “okay i cant hold it in anymore! mom, i have jake in my physics class and… he decided to help me out with my grades” your mom snorts, knowing where this is going. she liked jake, a lot. and she was more than depressed when you told her that you and jake were over.

he left a very good impression on your family, heck even your dad was kind of upset that it didn’t work out, he was really going to miss grilling barbecue outside and talking about sports. and your heart utterly broke when your little sister had asked you when could jake come over next, often bringing him up in random conversations not knowing that you and him had broken up.

“im glad he still offers to help you out with physics. jakes a great guy. you should definitely get back-“ you squint your eyes, groaning “mom, no” she pouts “fine,” she takes your bowl away, back facing you as she tilts her head “im just saying, you should give that guy another chance. he makes you really happy, yn, im sure of that”

—

so you’ve thought about it, again, and again, and again. until it was written 4:26am on your clock and you couldn’t sleep at all. this whole study date ordeal had been stuck in your mind as if it was to mock you. you were stressing so hard, your palms sweaty thinking about what could happen in the library after school.

you were scared, more than anything. scared that you would find yourself not being able to let go of jake the moment you experience what it’s like being his lover once again.

because before all this mess had been created, you had found comfort in the study dates jake would force you to go to. and secretly, you found yourself looking forward to it.

—

the whole day you were anxious, not being able to focus on other activities, heck you almost spilled a chemical during a chemistry lab thinking about jake.

and now the time has come. you found yourself intentionally taking your time opening your locker and ‘accidentally’ getting the code wrong. peaking your head through your locker door to see if jake was in your vicinity.

“you’re taking your sweet time aren’t you?” jake chuckles, sending you to jump and hitting your head on the locker door, with him asking if you’re okay right after “shut up, i guess i’m just tired today” you felt yourself breathing heavily, it felt too much to take in.

“i got a blink of sleep” you finally closed your locker, jake following behind you as you nervously walk together to the library “it does seem like it” he jokes, causing you to smack his arm “it’s your fault, jackass”

his giggle that makes your heart swoon no matter how many times you’ve heard it. “how is it my fault? i went to bed at like 3am” jake was aching to wrap his arm around your waist, but he knew it was somehow crossing the line. i guess it was just a force of habit, and he was fully aware of how touchy he got with you, and it saddens him that he couldn’t do those things with you anymore. and it left him thinking, wondering in his own world.

where did things go wrong?

“yeah well i was about to fall asleep until you sent me a message basically THREATENING me to go to the library” he rolls his eyes, opening the door for you, mumbling a small thanks before he continued the conversation “for one, i did not threaten you, i specifically said ‘you’re coming tomorrow whether you like it or not’” he defends himself “sounds like a threat to me” you both laugh

and there was the usual spot, the one close to the window with cushioned chairs and a small potted plant that you both named jeremy. it had grown a whole lot, and somehow how you felt emotional seeing it grow so much without the both of you witnessing it.

it was almost like you got a flashback of all the moments that ever happened in that very spot, and you know jake felt his heart beat just as fast as yours. you both sat, gulping as you awkwardly take out your textbooks and notes “so… which part are you exactly confused about?”

“everything..?” he chuckles, shaking his head with a big grin on his face “i knew it! why did i even bother asking”

and as you get shushed by the librarian over a million times, snickering and doodling on each other’s notes you finally accepted the fact that.

we never changed

next , masterlist , previous

a/n: not proofread btw😔 i wrote this in one sitting bcs i needed to the other chapters LOLZ

SYNOPSIS a couple creates summers filled with so much emotions; happiness, sadness, regret, and jealousy. jake and yn, who were so in love, had suddenly brought the news that you’ve broken up. as the anniversary of the heart wrenching break up awaits, neither of you have really moved on. and your number one supporter, yuna, does everything in her power to mend the broken hearts and create a happy ending for the best couple on the yearbook 2021.

TAGLIST @seungstarss @msxflower @yunki4evr @kolvg @simjakeissohot @kazuhugs @beans-and-jeanes @strwberrydinosaur @iloveoceaneyes @lhsng @heelariously @jwsflower @bigtoewinwin @viagumi @notdrunkbuthazed @ahnneyong @tsubasshi @flower-lise @bennettsprmcy @sophhloaff @sseastar-main

[pyropsychiccollector]

yo its been a bit but im back again with the nagi harem question. so i was on tumblr and saw ur post on hiromi and it got me thinkin on how theyd react to her. like in canon everything kinda just, blew over. Like everything she did and even trying to burn the school building down and just the talk at the end of the festival thing and that was it (i dont remember too much, i dont like her and its been a bit since ive watched AC). In canon im guessing everyone didnt wanna interfere too much, cause its his family stuff. But if he's got a protective harem then it might take a bit of effort to get them to not do anything to her, especially the ones also coming from terrible parents.

Its nagisa so he would still care about her like

Nagi: "ik she can be... reactive, but shes still my mom. I cant just leave her..."

Koro "He's right, while its understanable you would be upset with her, the issue lies between her and nagisa. Trying to force anything may set her off.

...

But if you still plan on anything remember that making a good first impression on your parnters parents is a big step for a relationship :)"

Kaede-chan is, frankly, terrified of Hiromi. ^^;;; Once you get past her arc with the tentacles, there's nothing protecting her from that crazy woman. ... Even if Hiromi does mellow out and isn't prone to... screaming as much anymore. Kaede-chan doesn't wanna poke that slumbering bear, and prefers keeping Nagisa from "home" as long as possible~... She tries being open-minded for Yukiko-chan and Nagisa's sake, but she's very leery. After all, she left her sister to someone like Yanagisawa, and that ended up badly... ^^;;;

Yukiko is one of the ones with most experience in working with difficult parents. She understands Nagisa's feelings the most about wanting to stay with Hiromi, even if his mom has hurt him over the years.

Rio-chan's at the forefront of those not okay with Hiromi, even after she mellows down. Kinda hard to "forgive and forget" when the mom goes and dresses Nagisa up like a girl for years, making him grow his hair out and act like he's the "girl" Hiromi always wanted... Rio might be guilty with regards to crossdressing Nagisa, too... But that was never serious for her or a jab at Nagisa's manhood or anything like that. She might tolerate Hiromi because Nagisa wants them to try getting along with her, but Rio's always on the watch for any relapsing.

Rinka's kinda like Rio in that regard. ^^;;; She's used to strict parents, too, but what Hiromi did was... very extreme. She'll grudgingly give Hiromi a chance cuz Nagisa wants them to, but Rinka is definitely keeping a watchful eye out...

Yuzuki-chan... Probably closest to a neutral party you'll get. She doesn't like that Hiromi's been abusive for years, so she understands where Kaede, Rio, and Rinka are coming from with their distrust. But she can also understand Yukiko and Nagisa wanting to give second chances. Yuzuki tries going with what everyone agrees with, as much as possible.

Touka-chan... She's in Kaede, Rio, and Rinka's camp. Doesn't forgive easily. And like Rio and Rinka, Touka isn't above speaking her mind when Hiromi gets frustrated with Nagisa about something. Doesn't want any relapses to happen here; no more crossdressing, accept Nagisa for who he is. :3

#assassination classroom #Nagisa Shiota #Hiromi Shiota #Kaede Kayano #Yukiko Kanzaki #Rio Nakamura #Rinka Hayami #Yuzuki Fuwa #Touka Yada

[blujaishah]

hi! How’s it going?

This is a good opportunity to explain why I haven't been posting art dont read any of it if u dont want to it's more for me

Aside from normal academic stuff it's mostly because my school's literary magazine is allowing submissions and I really want to get my art in it (you're a published artist/author if you get in it)

Thing is last year I didn't get my art in it (I made a self portrait titled 'hearts' that I stupidly never took a picture of because I never got it back) but they had too many art submissions and not enough literary submissions so most of the art got cut from the magazine

So I think you can tell that I was pissy bc I really need to get my art in this thing

So now I have been focusing a lot on my submission because I'm writing something with it, it's gonna look like a children's picture book with multiple drawings and a story

I might post it here if it doesn't end up being too personal but prob not

It's taking me a while because one i want it to look good and two i want it to look painted and that isn't my normal style and three because I am not a writer

Another reason as to why I'm not posting is because I'm looking for jobs because ur girl does not have money and that's something I wanna prioritize

And the last reason is less fun and something that I genuinely need to type out and admit in writing is that my parents are absolute batshit crazy and I want nothing more than to complete my high school credits and leave my home town

My sister didn't mind leaving like I want to in fact she wanted to get as far away from us (specifically my dad) as possible but she has no problem having me with her and husband because they've somewhat settled down

She's traveled the world and she's pretty cool, she's at a very prestigious university, she went to Thailand in high school, she's been to Jordan, Lebanon, and a couple years ago she went to Palestine for a year and became a high school teacher there she's awesome

It would be amazing to go to college where she is (i'm in a position financially and academically where going out of state for college is very possible ESPECIALLY where she is) and also to get to know her husband more would be great cause we barely got to know each other when he was here

My brother on the other hand didn't want to leave our mom but really needed to get out of the house because of our dad so now he's in this really awkward position where he lives in an apartment literally a 15 minutes walk from our house and by extension his very comfortable bedroom, and also he comes home every night to see our mom

It absolutely sucks and I very much want to leave my home even though I say what my parents want me to say I'll do after high school when I'm around them

My dad is demented and I have no problem admitting that he's never abused me physically but he has verbally quite a few times and hinted at physical abuse and it gets to me a lot

mostly it's about academics which he is quite literally insane for thinking I don't do well academically

There's a lot of stuff with him that's god awful and i wont get into it because that's what I do in a therapeutic environment which I cant get without being gaslit by my family so yeah

I can't draw anything except what I have to with all this it's a lot to be thinking about because I'm still just a kid and idk i can't handle it maturely so I have to write about it on tumblr lmao

#personal #thx for asking and sorry i used this as an excuse to rant

[glittter-gel]

my mental health is declining so have some kyōtani angst ✌️😚✨

when kyōtani was younger he always had the biggest smile on his face. he was always super excited to go on the bus, to see his friends, to go out for recess, for gym to start, to get home to see his parents and sister, the kid was excited about it all. he didnt mind that his mom and dad fought a lot, he didnt mind that his sister would always yell at him, and he didnt mind that he always had to be a little bit quieter than everyone else in the house when he came home from school. he just knew that he loved his family no matter what. what he did mind though was the candy, his moms candy. it didnt look very tasty, and dad always said that it didnt help mommy, so he wondered why she always ate it. he cant remember the last time that she wasnt eating the candy. she always had some of it on her, whether in her purse, or on the table, it was always there. when it really started to bother him was in middle school. another thing about kyōtani as a kid is that he always wanted to help. but this time it didnt feel like he could. his mom had changed, so much so that he didnt know how to fix it anymore. she wasnt the fun mom that would make him pancakes on the weekends when she was awake, she wasnt the mom who turned up the tv volume because he couldn't reach the buttons yet, and she wast the same mom who would sit down with kyōtani and help him with his homework, no not anymore. she was the mom who would always sprinkle this gross white powder on the food she made that gave kyōtani stomachaches throughout the day, she was the mom who would scream if he turned the tv volume up higher than 5, she was now the mom who threw stuff at him whenever he asked for help on anything. he didnt like the change, not at all. his anger from the change bubbled up and came out at school. he got into fights, yelled back at teachers, and threw away any schoolwork he couldn't get quite right. then, one day he finally realized he couldn't help anymore. he came home from school and saw her there. just laying on the floor, cold as ice, stiff as rock. dad was still at work and his sister was at her boyfriends so nobody could hear him but he screamed. he screamed until it hurt his throat even to breathe. he didnt know what to do with himself. he quit the volleyball team, the only thing he looked forward to. he ghosted his friends and teammates. he didnt eat until he was starving. he didnt know what the point was anymore. he didnt care what the point was anyways. he just wanted to sit until he rotted away like his mom. he just wanted to see her again, be with her, be held by her. no matter how much pain she caused him she was still his mom, and he loved her for that. he would do anything to get her back. now as he got older that smile has faded, and turned to a scowl. he isnt excited about anything anymore, he doesn't look forward to school, and he definitely doesn't look forward to going home at the end of the day. he isnt the happy kid he once thought he was, now hes just numb.

#does this make sense #maybe idk- #haikyuu!! #hq #kyoutani kentarou #kyotani angst lol

[henriiiii-1001old]

can you talk abt the alt swap au :3 ?

ooooohohoho alt swap au </////3

here's my first post talking abt it just for reference :3

most of this that im gonna talk abt is from discord and it just gonna be a bunch of different stuff so cut me some slack xddd

and this is. a lot more than i thought so uuhhh enjoy another masterpost??? kinda??? CFVGBHNJ

"cain can travel through tvs and mabel can travel through mirrors, but cain cant travel through mirrors and mabel cant travel through tvs (at least on their own).

seth can travel through both, but they didnt know that until uh. until adam told him"

"i have an idea to how the end of vol 1 in this au would go so cain has been locked in his room for 3 days by this point, and basically the "uh oh, bad decision!" part would turn into more of a "cain killed abel" situation. the alt outside cain's door would mock cain and fake his sister's death to maybe make him succumb to M.A.D. finally, and it almost worked.

until mabel came in and dragged cain out of the house...

...based in the message i replied to," (which are the lil blurbs i pasted above lmao), "i think that when mabel was trying to help cain escape, she realized she also just trapped herself in cain’s room. but then cain realized somehow that he can travel through tvs. he took mabel’s hand, took them to trust him, and they went through. they end up in the static world and theyre like “tf is this” they do end up getting out though, and after they figure out where they were, they go back to mandela, grab seth, and fucking leave

also here's some toonbriel lore! bc hell yeah he deserves to be in this au B)))

"and he actually takes the place of dave in the au. i originally didnt have a technical spot for him and decided that putting toonbriel there would be cool.

his name is terry o'brien but he goes by "toony" around family bc he was super obsessed with cartoons when he was younger, whether it be on tv, comic books, etc

he's a pastor at st. gabriel's and is lt gabe's younger twin brother and theyve been two peas in a pod since they were super young. they did end up fighting on their different methods of trying to help the county, and terry argues that while gabe is literally doing nothing, terry has been giving people hope and shelter and food and so many things. this ends up causing them to split, and terry goes to dave for advice. turns out, dave has been using him as his prophet and ends up killing him because he's no longer of use to dave.

im still working out the details of how he helped dave tho, but gabe is devastated after losing terry. he was already stressed enough and was basically blamed for sgt maria's death (she's preacher who took ruth's place) back at the murray house, and losing one of the only things he lived for was heartbreaking. finding seth dealing with the horrors^tm helped a little bit bc he's actually helping someone he tried protecting in the past...

...im thinking gabe was the more protective one of the two as well as the more sociable twin. terry was super clingy and liked sticking around gabe bc he was the only person he knew.

not a childhood story, but i do imagine that gabe does know dave, and they probably met through terry! not sure abt how terry and dave met just yet, but gabe doesnt actually like dave all that much.

gabe immediately knew who to suspect when terry died, and the fact that he heard his voice after said death only made him more sure"

some lilith and seth lore

"lilith and seth were both troubled kids in school and they just. fought so much. and lilith had to deal with shitbag dave at mandelatech and was even forced to stay working for him once he revealed to her and he led the alternates. she has a LOT of pent up anger and just needs to get it out.

like i imagine that one time after seth found out he was an alt, he called lilith over for a fight, and she'd been itching for one since dave killed terry. she literally beat him to a pulp during that fight, but she stopped once she saw him look up at her. he looked hopeless and his eyes looked somewhat glazed over. he took slow, deep breaths even after he got the wind knocked out of him several times.

lilith new something was wrong. she ended up helping him recover and even asked what was wrong. he didnt really reveal the whole alt thing, but he mentioned having holes in his identity and how its been beating him up, especially since someone claiming to be his father wants to suddenly come (back) into his life.

since then, theyve worked towards trying to support each other and just trying to maybe be friends {:)"

ALSO I CANT BELIEVE IVE NEVER MENTIONED THIS!!!!!

yknow how in unholy gift sarah and tiffany are kinda rivals?? like tiffany likes to fuck w sarah bc she's bored? and she's usually v snarky and cocky?

lilith and eve are the exact same way except tat eve is like GENUINELY malicious and very manipulative. she takes advantage of lilith's dislike of mandelatech to make her do a bunch of shit for the alts, and it's asically a big old scheme to use lilith to advance the alts' plans.

i also think that thatcher is the one who told davis to go back and get seth. davis did go to cain and mabel first though, and they were VERY rightfully pissed. but they did eventually get seth and shit. seth was super avoidant of everyone after the whole thing though {:(

#station interviews #alt swap au #mandela catalogue #the mandela catalogue #evidence reel #cain murray #mabel murray #seth murray #thatcher marshall #alternate thatcher #terry o'brien #six mandela catalogue #intruder #stanley mandela catalogue #lilith miller #tiffany #<- oh yeah i thiiiink i forgot to mention that tiffany becomes lilith (if i didnt forget then PHEW) #i swear to fucking god i wrote down everyone's personalities at some point though >:(((( #maybe im like. misremembering that but STILL!!!!!!! #long post

[roseicicles]

Looks at Aki. I have no idea how they do it. They can keep the KING JACK ATLAS at KING level but they still cant keep a competent female through arc-V. They either die, are humor only, or fade into obscurity sadly

Yugioh doesn't, and never has known how to write badass female characters. They either start out strong, or can be good, but all end up just being either non existent, or as you said, fade into obscurity.

Like lets go series by series.

OG Yugioh: Mai? Mai? The girl who basically lost most of her duels, was pretty much used as canon fodder. As in just to showcase Ra, and give reason for Joey's epic duel vs Marik. To then join up with the whole Dartz thing, only to then STILL feel like a poor duelist. Sure, she and Joey had an epic duel, but then after that....Meh. Then after that season she was g o n e.

GX: Alexis could've been a great character. She had links to the shadows through her missing brother, she was best friends with the school's top duelist. But after her good start, she gets captured lol. Sure, she does get her payback, but I swear, after that it's mostly downhill for her development. While everyone around her goes down a major path of development and character.

Another point going to Blair, cause what could've been for her. When you consider her Tag Force 3 deck. Imagine if she had Lightsworns in the show. She'd be a unit, but nah, she just became a cheerleader sadly, and a damsel during the Yubel later stages.

5DS: Honestly, the Blackwings are at fault here LOL. Akiza had such a grand opening, and then the second half/rest dropped the ball SUPER hard. Hell, you could argue all the females here had great starts, only for it to go downhill, or just nothing. Carly, Misty, Luna even((Mina doesn't count as she's just more a proper side character)). Of course later we had Sherry, whom we should've had a epic Sherry vs Aki duel one on one. But what did we get? Shery vs Aki AND Crow. Like least Jack having Leo and Luna made sense, as it was to set up Life Stream's birth from Power Tool, but jfc.

Zexal: Rio huh. Honestly like I said, she has a good opener, but then later just becomes basically worth nothing. Even when the big reveal happens. She's not threatening, or important. We also have Anna who had fucking trains, yet was barely used.

Arc-V: OK. Now here is where I first talked about it. Cause honestly, THESE FOUR GALS DESERVE BETTER. Yuzu has a good growth period, but after basically Serena takes her spot, Yuzu basically becomes NOTHING. While Serena kicks ass like a true badass, and becomes a great character. Her duel with Yugo is honestly one of my favorites. It helped her realize that maybe dueling can be fun. But what do we get after that? Oh, she's taken away in the most bullshit plot armor way, and mind controlled lmao. Rin and Ruri? We get told they're great through flashbacks, do we get to see it? Nop, they're controlled. Then the end, only Yuzu gets to be free basically. What a mess.

Vrains: How many times do you want to fuck Blue Angel/Aoi did you say? Like, what important duel did she win? Every important duel, she loses. She came off as a really good character, and everything good and cool they threw at her, they then decide to make her LOSE. I'm not saying she has to win to become relevant and good, but it just felt like she became a punching bag, and only Playmaker and later Soulburner COULD save the day.

Sevens: Sevens is more of kid Yugioh honestly, so I can't really expect too much from it, as comparing it to other series, yeah. Sevens isn't bad, just...Alright. Though I will say, it had some pretty good female characters. But like the dudes in this show, pretty average gdigsdidg. Will say though, Romin surprisingly had a positive dueling record. With 11 duels. One not shown, three loses, and SEVEN WINS. There are some notable characters too, like Luke's sister, and the construction crew girl. But in terms of what my post is mainly following, can't put that there.

Go Rush: Same can be said here tbh. Might be some 'nice' characters, but none fitting the mold.

I'm not making all this to say, 'oh the female characters are complete shit' when they're not. I love em for a reason, I just get so sad when their writing goes to sour shit, as if they get the rug pulled from under them, while the dudes continue forward, and get the lime light.

It's why if Yugioh ever goes serious again, I'd love a female lead. A female lead that would kick ass, and not go down a more forgetful or poor writing path like these have before.

[ahe-bby]

i have issues with my social life, i have a very hard time trying to keep friendships since im often seen as annoying and im not very good at social cues. the friends who have been with me the longest are online, and i love them. they have saved me, they have been there for me for everything.

i form attachments to some people very quickly (i think i have bpd, thats one of the symptoms out of many i share). i thought someone was my best friend, and she knew that, i literally fought for her, helped her with her problems, etc. she has dropped me, her friend doesnt like me since im a socialist. my special interest is politics (mostly american), so i talk about it a lot. i dont notice when people are upset with me, or if i talk about it too much.

shes been ignoring me for a while after she told me that, and i asked why, she just said "everyones allowed to have their opinions". im very upset. she just dropped me, with no warning.

i left school, i told them about how im gonna do a hairdressing apprenticeship and everyone but one ignored me. that one person is the only other socialist or transmasc there. im very thankful for him, he told me about what they have been saying. about how they wanted to drop me. im glad that i know.

i told my other friends, they told me not to chase someone. so i blocked her. it hurt when i saw her hanging out with everyone like nothing happened. i have no friends in real life anymore. my sisters friend yeah, the other transmasc, yeah, my ex, yeah. but i was never very close with them, even my ex.

im sorry for this rant, im just upset and i need to get it out.

(btw, the only reason i cant get diagnosed with bpd is because i have so many issues that the symptoms overlap and might cause all the same symptoms of bpd. but i still struggle the same way, i share 8/9 main symptoms)

#rant #vent #personal vent #autism #bpd #favourite person

[what-if-nct]

hiiii is it ok if i ask for some advice? im sorry im gonna sound rambly but uhhh i'm 14 and starting high school next year (which i alrdy dont feel too good abt haha) and my (overbearing asian) parents are going to send me to this private lutheran hs instead of the public one i was supposed to go to bc its more upper class and smart (?). tbh i was genuinely surprised that i liked the school, academic-wise, and i rlly liked that i had the space in my schedule to take more fine arts classes (i dont have any in my hs) but like the first thing the principal said to me was that i "needed to learn to be a good christian". a whole hour each week is dedicated to jesus and i just know my atheist ass is going to be uncomfortable asf. first, one of my best friends has a thing for jesus (he says jesus is too hot to be straight 😭) and i cant tell if hes joking anymore, and second, i dont have a problem with people who are religious, but i do when they are flat out hateful and harrassing people from communities they "dont agree with", and i just know the people preaching at this school are the latter.

also rn i am the *only* poc in my entire school, and i noticed there were a lot more asian students and students of color, so hopefully there'll be less kids pulling at their eyes or calling me slurs :D

anyways i not a fan of the fact that "homosexual behavior on or off campus" warranted for expulsion, since i am a *very* queer and bisexual individual. at my current school, i dont really need to hide my gayness bc no one cares, and my teachers are accepting (my homeroom teachers a lesbian lol <33). i dont think i can handle having to hide such a big part of my identity at home *and* at school :( too add to that i really suck at making friends, so being somewhere without people i'm comfortable with, my anxiety gets really bad, and i just shut down completely.

my hs is p rundown (like most public highschools are) and the classes are average at best, so idk man, im torn :( i dont know if i should suck it up and go to lutheran school bc their good academics, or ✨be myself✨ and go to p shitty school :/

i dont know what to do (or if i can even do anything) abt it i just dont feel too good about this :( you've mentioned you went to a christian school, so do you have any advice? even if you dont, thank you so so much for listening to me rant for a moment there <33 i really treasure you and your blog, atp you feel like the big sister i've never had. i love youuuu <333

That is such a sticky situation. Cause maybe you can try to persuade your parents especially since they'll be paying for the private school on top of college tuition in the future, it can be a huge selling point. I know that's how I won in the decision of beauty school over college it's cheaper. And christian and catholic schools are heavily based in religion like it's a huge part of it so if you don't believe in it it can be absolutely mind numbing. I actually didn't go to Christian school, actually wasn't forced to go to church as a child, I was like 11 and for some reason told grandma Christianity is responsible for all the bad things that happened in the world. Which is wild that I even was able to come to that conclusion as a child she just brushed me off. But I did go to church summer camp to be with my friends which my friend and I got scolded for holding hands but she was just leading me through the crowd of people. So that's still unfortunately a huge part of christian beliefs

the thing that really caught me off guard is the homosexual activity off campus can lead to expulsion. On campus like sucks but is expected of a christian school sadly. But off campus in your day to day life is like your actions off campus shouldn't be judged by the school. Like I can't wrap my mind around that. I think since you have a whole summer maybe look for more schools you can attend I remember doing this in middle school because my home high school was an F school so you could choose any high school within a certain range. You'd be really surprised with how many schools are around you I'm assuming you're in the us but I'm sure everywhere has a ton of schools. And look for a school that holds some of what your parents want and also your own values and needs for your education. And maybe your parents seeing you take initiative might be an extra point.

If your parents are deadset on it. I think try to make the best out of it as much as you can usually there's a group of people in the same boat you're in where their parents forced them to be there. Trust me no matter where you go you will always be drawn to those like you every single time. But if you do get the choice of going to the original public school firstly screw every single racist little bitch who does that to you that is horrid I am so sorry you have to endure that. People suck. But you can also learn extra independently I always did that cause I was a bit ahead of my class. But I really think researching more schools in your area would help you find the perfect school for you. I personally was in love with Waldorf schools they're more creative led schools and freer, I wanted to go to one so badly. So figure out the exact kind of education you want like a magnet school, charter school it doesn't hurt to see how receptive your parents will be to it.

I really hope this helped at all and I hope it works out well for you. And Awwww it's so sweet you see me as a big sister, I gladly be your big sister, love you too🌸🌸🌸

[tfyouthinkiam505]

i always say i hate kids

but heres a list of kids that are exceptions

my friends 2 daughters (she has a son too but hes not old enough for me to know if i vibe with him or not yet since kids under 2yo creep me out the most). the oldest is def a trouble maker but im glad shes gotten better cause she was WAY worse when she was younger but she high key funny af. known her since she was like 7 yo (she 13 now). the younger sister is a bit of a crybaby but shes still p chill. tho she always forgets who i am lmao. shes 5 tho so i cant blame her.

1/3 of my little cousins. hes a little shit head. cant say much on the other 2 cause i only met one of them once n i never met the other one. but the oldest one i met plenty of time. hes v funny

one of my exs little step brother (they were only step siblings for like a month or two) but he was a cute kid. very creepy at times, but cute. loved helpin my ex baby sit him. wed watch spooky youtube videos n hed draw pictures of monsters n tell us the story behind them. n he forced us to let him sleep in the bed with us cause he was sad that his dad wasnt back yet(his dad was a drunk n wed have to baby sit while hed go n get shit faced at the bar till like 4 am)

the little boy i hung out with during their lunch (our hs class did a "buddy" thing where wed go to the elementary school n have a buddy that we hang out with during their lunch. he wasnt my original buddy but ended up claiming him cause the kid i was original assigned to was a dick n didnt want anything to do with me anyway lmao but this kid begged a teacher to ask me if i would be his buddy.) hes the sweetest kid fr. he even begged his mom to get his hair cut to look like mine at the time n showed it off to me sayin we were twins n how he wanted to get his ears pierced like mine too when he got older. was only his lunch buddy for a single sememster, but every time hed get off the bus at the hs (his foster mom worked at the hs so hed get dropped off there) hed always run up n hug me if he passed by me in the hall or outside while i was on my way to the bus

just like the buddy thing, our class also went to help kids with their class work n there was a little girl i helped in math. she was v nice and very smart too, idk why they felt it necessary to assign her someone to help her with her class work. she also lowkey had like doll eyes. like very O-O type eyes. very vibrant green color

my old neighbors 2 kids. her daughter was absolutely insane n also very hyper n talkative. always had me chasin after her when id baby sit. she was fun tho. her son was more quiet n reserved but he liked me for some reason. like he hated being picked up n would throw a fit anytime someone other than his parents tried to but hed always come up to me n do the grabby hands for me to pick him up or hed come over and climb up onto my lap n start showin me whatever he was doin on his dads phone. he rarely talked tho.

the random little boy i saw at walmart who was wearing a really cute little charlie brown sweater

the dinosaur boy on TT or whatever (he got glasses n is obsessed with dinosaurs)

the little girl on TT whos obsessed with creepy things n thinks theyre cute

think thats about it

[meiishu]

just finished the newest episode and my thoughts on hsmtmts episode 5 under the cut

- elton john caswell 

- im glad that instead of making ej cause deliberate drama, it turned into the entire group trying to fake drama only for real drama to surface. i was really worried for a hot minute there they were gonna make ej do something dramatic for cloudt or whatever

- ricky feelings reveal i saw it coming but also i like how it was unwittingly recorded. thats going to come back to bite ricky in the ass later 

- LET CARLOS SAY BITCH SLAP

- carlos’ reaction to finding out maddox and jet were together absolutely sent me. also maddox going along with his crazy story instead of explaining they were actually siblings cracked me up. especially when she had her ”dramatic outburst”

- LOVED RICKYS REACTION TO JET AND MADDOX SIBLING REVEAL LMAO 

- still gunning for eventual jet/ricky even though with every episode i feel my chances of it slipping farther and farther away 

- LOVING the backstory we got on jet and maddox. so it seems like they’ve been siblings since they were kids and used to be super close! i think that maddox might be older since her younger self looked bigger than jet? but i could be wrong. also jet’s musical ballad was sweet. im glad maddox overheard it. i wonder why he got in the way of maddox and madison? was he being protective or felt threatened by someone else being close to his sister? also jet was EXPELLED? BACKSTORY TIME PLS??? why did jet get expelled? i hope that he will open up to ricky at some point next episode.

- also carlos and ricky’s friendship is everything to me

- i feel bad for EJ i know that he shouldve talked to gina about the letter but hes been going through so much. EJ is getting so much shit the season, like forced to be a director, forced to be the frontman on this project with CORBIN BLEU in charge, his father trying to send him to that school. all he wanted was to spend a fun summer with his friends and with gina. really, really hoping EJ and gina get a chance to TALK. 

- also speaking of i wonder who EJ was speaking to on the phone??? my gut wants to say ms jenn. i hope he calls her and she comes and takes over as director and gives my poor boy a break lmao. its unlikely, but i can dream cant i? i doubt it’s nini. i think it’s either his father, or ms jenn. it could be corbin i guess, but i doubt corbin would have even answered the phone, lmao. i think whoever he’s on the phone with is going to help him in regards to the letter drama, so i lean towards it being his father

- maddox saying ashlyn had romantic tension with val just had me shook i didnt expect her to say that. also jet’s comment too was interesting -- “can you stop telling people how they feel for once” or something to that effect? i wonder what the history is there. to be hoenst to me, it doesn’t seem as much like ashlyn is going through a crisis, but with how muck maddox is insisting that ashlyn must like val, im getting the feeling that maddox may be projecting and she might be the one with a crush on ashlyn here... interesting. also the pan to carlos and EJ’s faces after maddox’s comment definitely makes me thinks carlos and or EJ are going to have a convo with her about that which i’m excited for

- also my thoughts on gina and ricky lowkey sofia and joshua have really good romantic chemistry together their entire dance number was so good. reminded me of why i shipped them in season 2 for sure. i dont dislike them together, i do think theyd be a good pair, it’s just so messy for them right now with all this drama. 

- i am sick of the love triangle cliche though, i would love to see ricky have some development that doesn’t relate to romance (a friendship with jet, him and carlos bonding more, ect ect). like the original high school musical wasn’t love triangle either, but this show has def turned into more love triangle just with it being gina instead of nini caught in the middle. i dont dislike portwell or rina though, just interested to see where the story takes them!

- also lowkey bummed that it seems like any comments about a “possible queer storyline” for ricky which was kind of blowing up around the primer of this season is kinda moot. i get they cant spoil anything but it feels like they got my hopes up for the potential. there’s still more season to go, and who’s to say ricky might have a bisexual reveal that doesn’t end in ricky/jet or even ricky/anyone at all? i can still hope. 

- RICKY SLAPPING EJ MOMENT WAS ICONIC 

- love kourtney this episode, too. i wonder if her worry about gina telling carlos about her anxiety will cause tension/a fight between kourtney and gina?? i hope not, i love kourtney and gina and dont want things to be tense there. but it may also make their roles as anna and elsa have a double meaning too (anna helping elsa come out of her shell, gina helping kourtney deal with her anxiety?)

- i did like that ricky went to talk to jet and jet said “i’m not you”. i think that ricky has been thinking about jet as a “ricky 1.0″ ever since they moment when he said “aw he’s like a little ricky”, so i think that moment made ricky realize that jet isn’t actually as similar to season 1 him as he thought.

#hsmtmts #mac speaks #hsmtmts conversations #look i watch this show every week religiously i may as well share me emotions #my emotions i became a pirate #not tagging any ships because im not looking for ship war dramatics but my ask box is always open for comments

[munsonology]

so the religion esque advice (the boys will be in a different message)

I'm a Christian. Whatever no big deal, I do know a ton of the evangelical Christians give Christians a bad name (some of those people are crazy). So I can understand some apprehension. But I digress on all that.

The advice I need is...would it be wrong to post ANONYMOUSLY a doc exposing this group in my area as a cult 🥴

They claim to be a Christian group, which is how I heard about them, and my sister actually went to it. She's completely changed but out now.

Some things that they do that make me think its a cult: you aren't allowed to have a job because you are "supposed to focus on God" and yet to get money to pay tuition you must do jobs for the leader. You live on property owned by the leader. You are not allowed to date anyone in the first year you are there, you are not allowed to join unless you are single. They limit the amount of sleep you can have. They don't necessarily mandate diets, but they shame you if you don't follow the diet. Anyone who has left has been completely cut out and encouraged to block. They also cater to those straight out of high school.

The one that really got me was a "team bonding" experience where they forced you to memorize Scripture but not only that BUT POETRY THE LEADER WROTE AND SAY THANKS AND GRACE TO THE LEADER if you messed up you got sprayed with water.

I cant believe it's still active??? So is it an issue basically doxxing the group cause idk if people know

First thank you for sharing! Glad to hear your sister got out and hopefully she’s ok and is getting the support she needs.

I think it def is a cult and it sounds predatory as well, but knowing they’re targeting people fresh from high school is extremely concerning. I think it might be best to go to the police, for you and your family’s safety or even your local news because cults are so dangerous and I don’t want them coming after you if you do post something, even if it’s anonymous. It might be helpful to talk with your sister if it’s not too much for her. She’s a survivor of this cult and it might be best to follow her comfort level 🩷

It’s so interesting and disturbing how cults use religion to bring people in and even religions who twist the words of the scripture they claim to know and do the exact opposite of what it says with their abuse and hate. Just foul!

Please be safe with whatever you decide! 🫂🩷

#sav’s anons #sav’s mailroom

[rippeds0cks]

5/27/2023

Im falling apart at the seams physically. My body cant keep up with all the pressure, stress, and work im putting it through. Its to the point where im taking ludicrous amounts of meds to keep it together. My body hurts so fucking bad from my muscles to my tendons to my bones im in pain all day. If i lose focus on whatever motor function im doing (using stairs, walking, running, fighting) i just collapse. Ive been dropping things cause the nerve damage in my hands is progressively getting worse. I deserve it though not only for being a piece of shit and failing those around me but just for my existence. My pops always told me growing up that “guys like us arent supposed to do well or live long” and i guess he was right cause im barely keeping myself in one piece. It’s ok tho cause im living for absolutely nothing right now. If i drop dead a couple people here n there will be sad but theyll soon forget and move on. I dont contribute anything to anyones life so its not like anything crumbles in my absence. Anyways every little detail ive ever known of my ex flooded back into my mind today in the gym and it left me fighting back tears and choking up while working out. Everything from how her old fursona back when she was a furry was a dutch angel dragon, how beautiful she looked everytime i saw her and her face lit up, the one time we were standing in the park at night and she kissed me and said “feels familiar”, how she always wanted to play apex or valorant, and most importantly as for now, how she used to make music. For shits and giggles i decided to go see if her music page was still up and it was. I decided to listen for old times sake and it reminded me of how i never told her how good i thought she was. I went straight to criticism and telling her how to improve it. Idk why im like that. Maybe cause its the way my parents were to me anytime i did anything i dont know. Its no excuse though. Dont get me wrong she still did rookie things like fill syllables with unnecessary curse words or make her vocals too low in the mixing process but its genuinely good music and ive been listening all day. Listening to the lyrics has made me realize how much i failed her. She placed a lot of emphasis and faith on me to help her or value her and i failed. And while my therapist would say something along the lines of “its not your responsibility to carry the burden of her happiness” i dont believe that to be the case at all. I think its something she placed in my hands trusting me and i failed. And that doesnt negate the insane way things ended between us. Her mother is still batshit fucking insane for the next level mental manipulation she did to my ex to make her mental state even more volatile than before. Idk. Maybe its my fault for leaving in the first place. Ive failed her every other way i cant not think i failed her by leaving and making those the only people she spent time around. Back when we first got together shes agree when her mother would say insane shit or treat her bad or her sister would bully her but by the end of it she flat out didnt think those things were happening. I just hope she got therapy like i begged her to so many times. Her ex best friend is a piece of shit though. Texting your best friends ex of almost 5 years the week after they have a nuclear break up confessing your unhealthy obsession from almost 6 years ago is disgusting. I was nice and all in my response because i thought my ex and her were doing it together as like a test of my character but i later found out it was just her disgusting ex best friend. And her reasoning as to why my ex shouldnt have gotten mad was “ive known you longer” no you dumb bitch youve known OF me longer. I didnt speak to you for 5 years you let this middle school crush go to your fucking head. I shared everything, heart and soul, with my ex for four almost 5 years and your disgusting selfish ass thinks you know me better cause we were locker mates in the 8th grade? Truly disgusting insane gross behavior. Anyways heres my exes music

#SoundCloud

[mysticdreamlandavenue]

My beautiful niece two yrs now tat shes not wit us plus my dad too n my besties have no one all my grandparents r gone everyone tats so close to me gone so im tryjng hard to stay strong here for my kids but sometimes i just wanna give up n tis so called bf of mine not real im just being used for money tats y wit all the kids like wat he said to me no guy will ever wanna go out wit me cause i have lots of kids so i think hes right n he can easliy go out wit ladys since he has nothing to worry about n i do..have 11 kids n i feel like im single since im rasing dem on my own ever since i was 17 n my teen yrs mostly bbsit my sister cause of problems back than now tat my dad isnt around feels like he still out der at the hospital i thought he would come back but he didnt only by casket tats y i dont like christmas anymore got ripped off from my cuzin told her to get me stuff for christmas presents for my kids n family but nv did n cant get my money back tats y im cutting off all my family out of my life they only want money n no one helps me wen i need money n my bbs ct will b n by jan thank god now i can buy him everything n get new beds lamps dressers all tat stuff ik its expensive now so ill get watever i can get now tat i have starlink too so my kids can do their work online r i can do my work online was thinking about finish school but how?!..how am i gonna do tat been trying to figure how to rasie my kids n the future sometimes i need help n no one knows tat no one talks to me no visitors cause of him now iky hes like tat hes the one who cheated on me for yrs n he goes crazy wen i have a ride wit a guy friend i wish i did too i wish i was seeing someone else too wish i can lie so much too n steal but tats not me im not like tat wasnt raised to b like tat i miss my grandparents anyways now to do house chores n look after my gbb n my bb alraedy cooked early for lunch enyjoy ur christmas ppl hope u all get presents for ur family i cant have nothing for dem ill just wait til jan 20 i feel bad about tat she didnt even buy one thing wit all tat money i gave her ill just ignore tis holiday Merry Christmas everyone!!..🎄🎊🙏🏻🎆💖💕🎁