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doorbloggr · 1 year

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An Introspective Study of my 2022 Spotify Wrapped

Thursday 1/12/22

I know Spotify Wrapped is kinda cringe and people hate brands trying to sum up a year, but I embrace cringe and I want to talk about my music taste for the year. 2022 is a unique study of my tastes because I didn't actually use Spotify much for a large part of the year.

As discussed in Media Recommendations #37, I spent a few months bingeing all of Season 2 of Critical Role, and recently, I've been listening to another D&D podcast called Dungeons of Drakkenheim. Now I hate being alone with my thoughts, so while I usually will have my headphones in with music to fill that void, D&D filled that role for a large part. And so, Spotify did not get as much use.

The interesting impact of this on the trends in Spotify Wrapped compared to 2021, is that times of obsession are overrepresented in the data. In past years, if there was a song I played on repeat for a week, it would maybe make it to somewhere in the top 10 maybe, but the top songs would still be my evergreen faves. This year, when I had a song on repeat for a week, that would've been one of the only times I was on Spotify, and it would therefore be guaranteed top 5.

With that preamble out of the way, let's discuss my Spotify Wrapped 2022.

So first bit of data to analyse is my taste in genres. The top 5 they gave me is Rock, Dance Pop, Otacore, Indie Pop, and Anime. In the past, Dance Pop was my top genre, since a lot of my fave songs are 90s or 00s Pop like Savage Garden, Gorillaz, or Outkast. But I went through a phase of angsty rock music early in the year, where I constructed a play list of Linkin Park, Imagine Dragons, and Nirvana.

In my younger years, I thought these and other teen angst bands were cringe, but earlier this year, when I recommended Sail by Awolnation, I went through a phase where I accepted sometime a bad mood needs angsty music.

Otacore and Anime are more a result of later in the year, when I started to listen to a lot of Anime OPs, and music by Vtubers. For those confused by the term Otacore (like i was), it basically means weeb music. Videogames, Japanese, Anime.

Next, my top song was Komm Susser Tod, from the soundtrack of The End of Evangelion. Now to be perfectly blunt, I didn't walk away from Eva a superfan. It was confusing at times, and often hard to follow. But at the time, I was going through huge problems with family relationships and self esteem. I was in a state where suicide was a real option, and unfortunately, the lyrics of Komm Susser Tod really impacted me.

Example lyrics:

So with sadness in my heart, I feel the best thing I could do, is end it all, and leave forever. What's done is done, it feels so bad, what once was happy, now is sad. I'll never love again, my world is ending.

You can see how easy it is for someone in a real bad place to get into a worse place with messaging like "it all returns to nothing, I just keep letting me down, letting me down, letting me down."

Now I am in a much better place, but I still appreciate Komm Susse Tod as a very powerful piece that sounds amazing and has very impactful lyrics. So even after I had gotten mentally better, I often replayed this song. 26 plays is not a lot, but again, I wasn't on Spotify a lot this year.

As for the rest of my top 5, it's a bit of a mixed bag. Imagine Dragons' "Believer" started out as a frequent play because of a meme song from Siivagunner if you'd believe me. But as that Angst play list became a more frequent part of my listen time, I started enjoying the song unironically. Out of Touch is up there as a happy accident. It's just a song I'm often in the mood for. And while it is tangentially a bad mood song, it's more often a comfort song.

Magic Circuit I've gotten more into this year. They're an Indie Dance Electronic band that sometimes features Vtuber personalities such as Nyanners and Ironmouse on vocals on their tracks. Slip is the first song of theirs I ever listened to, and it's still my big fave of theirs to this day.

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Money Game pt 2, like Believer, I started listening to as a meme, since there was this clip featuring the best verse of the song circulating at the time. But then I legit became a fan of Ren and his music. He's often does stuff commentating on how much the world sucks and how we live in a society. Big recommend his stuff if you're unfamiliar.

Despite my suicidal angsty phase earlier in the year, my top artist was Ninja Sex Party again. And that's good news for my mental health overall, since NSP is all about absurd positivity. Despite there being no NSP songs, even in my top 10, I wanna attribute NSP being my top artist to the fact that I listen to so many different songs of their all the time.

Because while I may have only had 6 NSP songs in my top 100 play list they made me, other bands I have to be in the mood to listen to. But I'm always in the mood for NSP, and if I have my library on Shuffle, I never skip an NSP song.

As for the rest of my top 5 artists, these ones were also consistently in my good books. Magic Circuit I have sung the praises of above. And while I said that I had 6 NSP songs in my top 100, there were also 6 Magic Circuit Songs. Nyanners is my favourite vtuber, and also a really good singer. She does vocals for most of my favourite Magic Circuit songs, but she also releases songs outside of their collab. And while some of them are shitpost songs like Hey Boy Hey Boy (subtitle: I wanna fart in your mouth), others are legit bops such as Foolish Heart, which was my Top Song last year. She also recently released a cover of Snake Eater (from Metal Gear Solid) that I'm a big fan of.

Maroon 5 got really into my good books this year. I've always thought Maroon 5 was alright, but this year I took the chance to really explore their catalogue, and found there were many songs of theirs I enjoyed that I didnt even know was them like Harder to Breath or their new one Memories.

Imagine Dragons, as I mentioned above, was originally a meme follow, but I became a fan of quite of few of their songs, not just Believer, but Radioactive, the tie in song for Arcane: Enemies, and I like their new one, Bones.

My "Listening Personality" was The Deep Diver, which just confirmed my suspicion that this year's Spotify listens was very often obsession based. When I investigated Maroon 5, I went back and listened to all their stuff. When I followed a couple of Magic Circuit songs, and then their new album came out, I listened to all of it, multiple times.

Not a lot of regular vibing with music this year. It was either I was in the mood for some serious jamming, or I wasn't listening to music at all.

And that was my Spotify Wrapped for 2022.

I had an angst period which ended up being over represented in my top 5 artists and songs, but I also deep dived on some more happy and chill music in Magic Circuit and NSP.

I'll try to listen to more music next year and expand my scope, to try and discover more music, and try to stay in a happier mood. Best wishes for next year!

Here's a link to my top 100 if anyone wants to interrogate the rest of my music taste:

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/37i9dQZF1F0sijgNaJdgit?si=7EEwTg0LS3-cVUBqqui5oQ&utm_source=native-share-menu

#Youtube #blog #blogpost #media recommendations #music reccomendations #spotify wrapped #komm susser tod #magic circuit #nyanners #ninja sex party #imagine dragons #maroon 5 #out of touch

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sagehaleyofficial · 3 years

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HERE’S WHAT YOU MISSED THIS WEEK (4.28-5.4.21):

NEW MUSIC:

Waterparks released another track off their upcoming album Greatest Hits titled “You’d Be Paranoid Too (If Everyone Was Out to Get You).” The new album in question will be dropping on May 21 via 300.

Lights surprised fans with a brand new track titled “Beside Myself.” It's the first new music from her since the release of her project Dead End last year with MYTH.

WILLOW released a new collaboration with Blink-182’s Travis Barker titled “Transparent Soul.” It's the first piece of music to be released from her upcoming fifth album, which will drop this summer via MSFTSMusic/Roc Nation/Polydor.

Machine Gun Kelly joined forces with Sleeping With Sirens' Kellin Quinn on a new collab titled “Love Race.” The pair first worked together back in 2013 on the song “Swing Life Away,” with the rapper also featuring on SWS’ song “Alone.”

Twenty One Pilots premiered their new song “Choker” exclusively on the band's livestreaming platform on their website last Friday. The event was exclusively available to all those that purchased tickets for their livestream on May 21.

The Maine released a new cover version of Fall Out Boy's classic single “Thnks fr th Mmrs.” The band is set to release their new album, XOXO: From Love and Anxiety in Real Time, on July 9.

Stand Atlantic released a new collab with nothing,nowhere. titled “Deathwish” last Thursday. The latter artist’s newest album Trauma Factory is out now via Fueled by Ramen.

Attack Attack! returned with the second taste of new music since their comeback, titled “Brachyura Bombshell.” It follows on from “All My Life,” which dropped back in December last year.

Free Throw shared another track from their upcoming album Piecing It Together titled “Down and Out.” The album is set for release on June 15 via Triple Crown Records.

Set It Off's Cody Carson teamed up with No Love for the Middle Child on a new song called “Older.” The latter artist released an EP called Happy Faces a couple of months back.

TOUR ANNOUNCEMENTS:

After confirming that the festival will not be taking place this year, Download Festival revealed some more names for their 2022 lineup. Joining the previously announced roster will be Deftones, Korn, The Pretty Reckless, Rise Against and others.

The Hella Mega Tour, featuring Green Day, Fall Out Boy and Weezer, rescheduled its Europe and UK tour dates for 2022. The new overseas dates will begin in Vienna on June 19 and end in Paris on July 2.

Slam Dunk Festival confirmed that Waterparks have been added to the lineup for this year's event. Fans who pre-order their new album Greatest Hits from Crash Records can get exclusive access to an intimate acoustic session at the festival.

The first ever ALT:LDN Festival was announced to take place on August 30 at Clapham Common. Main acts for the event include Architects and Machine Gun Kelly, among other hip-hop artists.

Hollywood Undead played a special livestream event called “Undead Unhinged” last Friday. The event follows from the band's “House Party” livestream at the end of 2020.

OTHER NEWS:

Linkin Park's 2010 album A Thousand Suns hit Platinum certification in the United Kingdom. This marks the band’s sixth full-length release to reach that status.

YUNGBLUD’s song “Parents” recently became certified Gold in the United States. It was also certified Silver in the United Kingdom last month and surpassed 100 million streams on Spotify in February.

The nominees for the Billboard Music Awards were released. Machine Gun Kelly’s Tickets to My Downfall is up for Top Rock Album, as well as “My Ex’s Best Friend” up for Top Rock Song along with songs by All Time Low and Twenty One Pilots.

___

Check in next Tuesday for more “Posi Talk with Sage Haley,” only at @sagehaleyofficial!

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hellbentrapture · 3 years

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🎵🎶Curated Playlists🎶🎵

One of my hobbies is curating playlists on Spotify, and I decided to go ahead and properly do them! I’ve worked through existing playlists that I had previously made, some of those I liked, and all liked songs I have so far on Spotify.

These playlists are all actively ongoing and growing, they are never complete!

There are a total of thirteen playlists (currently), all active and ongoing - this means I will be adding to them each week (sometimes to just one, some, or all of them). I will also take recommendations. The thirteen playlists and genres: • Hermes Mix I: complete mix; includes rock, alt, indie, synth, hybrid, metal, and more. • Hermes Mix II: a collection of specifically selected songs as a form of autobiography and self portrait. • Hermes Mix III: A single song chosen from each of the artists in my generated iceberg! Top is popular artists, bottom is obscure artists. • Hermes Mix IV: Ever expanding playlist of songs I listen to constantly - most often songs I like to sing along to! • Hermes Mix V: Hermes' personal mix made for sharing with their peers. Indie, rock, alt, synth, and musicals! • Together: complete mix; includes rock, alt, indie, synth, hybrid, metal, and dramatic. • melancholy: sad, dark, heartful, emotional music. • Weeping: sad, dark, depressing, strings, orchestral. • xX_2000s_Emo_Xx: it’s in the name lol; this is the only “complete” playlist. • Soundtrack: while the title is “soundtrack”, it is not exclusively a collection of soundtrack music, rather what can be used for such as well; instrumental, epic, emotional, vocal-hybrid. • Vocal Hybrid: similar to the “Soundtrack” playlist, but exclusively with vocals. • Metal: focuses on lyrical and melodic metal; includes some screaming and roaring. • Retro Waves: synthwave and darkwave that features lyrics. • Electronic Vibes: synthwave, outrun, darkwave, and electronic. • Instrumentals: progressive, rock, alternative; no vocals. • Hungry: **NSFW** a mix of hard, dark, and rougher horny music. • Sorrowful Nostalgia: a sad, nostalgic, and melancholy synthwave and electronic playlist.

Please enjoy! 🖤 Links and Descriptions below the Read More...

Hermes Mix I // Cleaning & Chilling

Link Last Updated: 29.01.2023 • Hermes' personal mix used for cooking, cleaning, chilling, and singing. Mostly indie, rock, alt, but includes synth, hybrid instrumental, metal, and more!

Hermes Mix II // A Self Portrait

Link Last Updated: 30.08.2022 • The story, memories, feelings, thoughts, dreams, grief, and journeys of Hermes. A personal mix of experiences.

Hermes Mix III // Iceberg 2022

Link Last Updated: 08.07.2022 • A single song chosen from each of the artists in my generated iceberg! Top is popular artists, bottom is obscure artists. // icebergify.com

Hermes Mix IV // On Repeat Masterlist

Link Last Updated: 12.07.2022 • Ever expanding playlist of songs I listen to constantly - most often songs I like to sing along to!

Hermes Mix V // For Everyone

Link Last Updated: 22.01.2023 • Hermes' personal mix made for sharing with their peers. Indie, rock, alt, synth, and musicals!

Together // Emotional, Passionate, Harmony

Link Last Updated: 15.03.2023 • For duets; random genre blend of songs to sing together with and harmonize.

𝚖𝚎𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚢 // Deep, Heartful, Dark, Emotional

Link Last Updated: 21.01.2023 • A playlist for all your sad, melancholy, and emotional needs.

𝑊𝑒𝑒𝑝𝑖𝑛𝑔 // Sad, Mournful, Strings, Instrumental

Link Last Updated: 30.03.2023 • Songs for the weary, the sad, the broken~

xX_2000s_Emo_Xx // It's Hellworld in 2o2o

Link Last Updated: 25.08.2020 • From Autumn to Ashes / Bright Eyes / Brand New / From First to Last / Escape the Fate / My Chemical Romance / Panic! At the Disco / The Used / Fall Out Boy / Linkin Park / Thirty Seconds to Mars / Three Days Grace / Evanescense / Alexisonfire

𝒮ℴ𝓊𝓃𝒹𝓉𝓇𝒶𝒸𝓀 // Emotional, Hybrid, Epic, Instrumental

Link Last Updated: 25.11.2022 • An ever-growing mix of instrumental, soundtrack, epic, emotional, strings, and vocal-hybrid.

Vocal Hybrid // Epic, Instrumental, Soundtrack

Link Last Updated: 21.11.2022 • A mix of soundtrack, epic, and emotional instrumentals with vocals; some synth included.

𝕸𝖊𝖙𝖆𝖑 // Lyrical, Melodic, Hybrid, Dark

Link Last Updated: 31.01.2023 • A mix of lyrical, melodic, hybrid, and dark metal. Includes Port Noir, Dark Tranquillity, Coheed & Cambria, Khemmis, and more. [Contains screaming, growling, roaring.]

Ⓡⓔⓣⓡⓞ Ⓦⓐⓥⓔⓢ // Lyrical Synthwave & Darkwave

Link Last Updated: 07.03.2022 • Mix of synthwave, darkwave, and outrun that mostly contains lyrics.

𝘌𝘭𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘪𝘤 𝘝𝘪𝘣𝘦𝘴 // Synthwave, Darkwave, Outrun, Hybrid

Link Last Updated: 09.02.2023 • A mix of electronic music, primarily synthwave, darkwave, and outrun. Including Gunship, Carpenter Brut, and more.

Instrumentals // Progressive, Rock, Indie, Alt

Link Last Updated: 30.08.2022 • Instrumental music that isn't classical or orchestral, focusing on guitar primarily; some genre blending.

Hungry // Lustful, Desire, Passion **NSFW**

Link Last Updated: 28.09.2022 • Harder & Hardcore. ♡ She Wants Revenge / Flume / Nine Inch Nails.

𝙨𝙤𝙧𝙧𝙤𝙬𝙛𝙪𝙡 𝙣𝙤𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙡𝙜𝙞𝙖 // Sad Synth & Retro

Link Last Updated: 06.07.2022 • A collection of synth, retro, and experimental sounds for a certain kind of sadness, sorrow, and contemplation.

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travellingunicorn7 · 4 years

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I deleted this thinking I was outside the realms of reality and I probably still am, but I've decided to repost only because why should I delete it? Most of the sentiment is true and I'm not going to be shy or embarrassed about it. Fuck anyone who wants to be dick over it. Just because maybe it also focuses on one person, for everyone else- perhaps it focuses on you too, just as much.

Here is an novel/essay on my feelings. After this post I am going to try my hardest not to post anything else along these lines because I just don’t want to, I’ve said enough now. I’m just begging if I say anymore, and I don’t beg. I worry about some of the things I have said and I hope I haven’t overstepped a mark. I don’t really want to post this, but I feel if I don’t I may not get what I want, but then I may not get it anyway, so why not just say it and be done with it. Please don’t do anything hasty from this, accept what I have to say and don’t shoot it down in flames before thinking about it, because you never know, some things may be worth considering.

1. I am a true convert to Royal. You will not get me cruising with another company, not if I can help it. But I can not keep cruising on the same ships. I need to mix it up and see something different. I’m loyal to royal but I’m not loyal to the ships. I will be doing my absolute level best to see the other vessels within the fleet and if that means flying halfway across the world, so be it, I don’t mind, because I love to travel, but it does annoy me a little Australia misses out a fair bit.

2. I am saving madly to get to the Caribbean, Miami, London and the Netherlands. I am hoping between 2022-2025 these trips will happen. I can’t specify dates yet because I’m not in a position to and quite frankly I don’t want to say too much online about it, because I would like to make new friends in person where I get their contact details and maybe ask if they would like to be my personal travel guide when I finally get to these places. However I intend to stay for a full month when I do visit these four parts of the world.

3. I’m not going to the Caribbean for 1 cruise. What a long way to go for just a week. I intend to pay for 2-3 back to back cruises within the Caribbean. I want to visit Coco Cay, Aruba, Curacao, Bonaire, and where possible; Jamaica, Mexico, Haiti and Puerto Rico. I am sold on Odyssey, she will happen, and I’m tossing up between Explorer, Oasis, Independence, Allure and Symphony. As for the Netherlands: Amsterdam, Zaandam, Zaanse Schans, Leiden, Lisse, Den Haag, Scheveningen Strand, Delft, and possibly Rotterdam are all places I intend to visit.

4. Lelepa and Wonder of the Seas: I’m still hesitant, on these two, only because I have concerns, Australia will not be considered fairly when it comes to more information being released about them and Australia often falls into the Asian category when it comes to travel destinations. However if Wonder can be taken away from Asia then yes I will consider this ship. If Wonder is taken to Lelepa from Australia- I’m looking at Brisbane- then yes I will consider Wonder and Lelepa. If Wonder can not be taken away from Asia, then Royal and Brisbane better make some decent decisions when it comes to other ships in their fleet, that aren’t already here, such as Mariner, Navigator, Symphony, Independence, Allure, Harmony and/or Oasis to make their way to Australia for me to consider going. I’ll make that call when further announcements are made and on the completion of Brisbane’s new cruise terminal. I also believe Sydney is looking at building a new cruise terminal too, which I’d like to believe Royal will come to the party and provide Australia their “bigger and bolder” ships in confirmation and completion of that. Also I understand Lelepa will be different to Coco Cay but it better not be lacking too much. I would like some similarities for me to consider visiting.

Before all of these changes of new cruise terminals are completed, I would love to see ships with similar sizing to Ovation, Explorer and Voyager (considering our ports aren’t big enough), visiting Australia more, as there’s not enough itineraries and I wouldn’t mind going from Australian port to Australian port; rather than heading to the South Pacific or New Zealand all the time. I don’t want to cruise with Carnival or Princess and no offense to the Radiance class ships, but they lack too many activities for me to want to jump on them, I know these ships do visit the Australian ports more; I just need a mixture of places to see and things to do on board. Not one or the other .

5. I am not interested in visiting Asia. There are few reasons why, I just don’t want to explain them here. Asia in general seems to have some amazing landscapes, and the people I know are wonderful but I would rather get fat than go to Asia. Unsure why I should, because I just said I have no desire to go, but, persuade me to go to India, Malaysia, Singapore and Japan and I will consider Quantum and Wonder. However will I be looking at a carbon copy of Ovation if I step on Quantum?

6. I am learning Dutch. I enjoy it. I will continue to say and write things in Dutch so I can continue to get a grasp on the language. I’m planning a trip to the Netherlands and the Caribbean. I know people in the Netherlands speak English but I think it’s only fair I learn their language too. I am also looking at Russian and Polish after I feel I have successfully got the Dutch language ‘down pat’.

7. Why Dutch? Why the Netherlands? There are several reasons, one I’ll explain later, I can count at least 5 reasons. Get time off and come and find me in Circular Quay checking out Voyager and Ovation and I will tell you why. Or better yet when it’s holidays, kom alsjeblieft naar Bairnsdale en vind me. Kom me alsjeblieft bezoeken, don’t fly straight home…

8. I cannot keep posting my music. My music tastes ranges from rock, pop, classical, electronic, dance, hip hop, rap, alternative, indie, folk, punk, blues and metal. Country is the only genre I suffer through. A few Australian country music stars however, can be tolerable like Lee Kernaghan. As long as the artist has 99% input into the way the music is delivered then I’ll listen. As much as I enjoy sharing my music, because I love music, there comes a point where you start to know too much about me, without actually getting to know me at all. You want to get to know me, talk to me. Here is a list of some the bands I have the most music of and if I could share my iTunes with the world I would, but I am not subscribing to several different streaming services to do so. Spotify is enough:

Linkin Park

Garbage

The Killers

Glass Animals

Arcade Fire

Peking Duk

Safia

Rufus/Rufus du Sol

Delphic

Florence and the Machine

Sia

Interpol

Kingswood

Major Lazer

Miike Snow

Kings of Leon

Gomez

Duke Dumont

Friendly Fires

Zhu

Jamiroquai

Spoon

Flight Facilities

Arcade Fire

The Aston Shuffle

Fatboy Slim

Basement Jaxx

Chemical Brothers

Groove Armada

Marilyn Manson

Placebo

Foals

Nine Inch Nails

Mø

Arctic Monkeys

Cold War Kids

Hayden James

Mansion Air

Presets

Chvrches

Beck

The Rapture

The Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Jack River

The Prodigy

New Order

Depeche Mode

Korn

Kasabian

Muse

Oasis

Gorillaz

Two Door Cinema Club

Calvin Harris

9. The list of emojis; There are stories behind them all. I will tell you if you want to say hi. ♉⚽🏊🏏🌹🇦🇺🔮🇳🇱🎶👻🚢✈🤸🐈🌷🌩. I’ve just explained the music emoji, I’ll explain my love of travel. I love my country I’d like to see Darwin, Broome, Perth, the coast of South Australia including Kangaroo Island, Tasmania and Northern Queensland. I want to go back to the US and Canada, and maybe New Zealand. As mentioned Netherlands, London, Caribbean and Miami are currently on my immediate list. I’d like to see parts of Russia, Poland, the rest of England, Scotland, Egypt, Morocco, Chile, and Peru. I work to earn money to travel and play pole. If money was no object I’d just spend my entire time travelling maybe I could study further and be a professional pole teacher, teaching all over the world? Just a thought. I like to spend my money on experiences and culture and education, not unnecessary things. So the aeroplane and ship emoji reflects my love for travel and cruising and ships in general fascinate me including the stories of ‘ghost ships’. Yet there will become a time I need to set up roots, sooner rather than later, and south east Queensland is currently getting my attention, but I’m not closed to the idea of moving OS either.

10. I will continue to be as honest as I can and saying things that may or may not sit well with others without name dropping. I don’t like sugar coating, yet somehow I live in a society where people get offended so easily. So I hold back. I say things on here and on my instagram because I can be me and say things that are true to me because somehow there are people who are offended in how I live my life, and it makes me worry about what our society is turning into where people are scared to say what’s on their minds or say how they feel without a keyboard. Too many people are wrapped in cotton wool these days, it’s why they get offended over the most miniscule thing. I think about that a lot, and that’s why I try and not care about other people’s opinions. It doesn’t always work but if you want honesty, check this out or instagram or better yet- get to know me and talk to me in person.

11. Let's talk about honesty for a moment. Lying and keeping secrets from me doesnt end well so don't do it. Being honest with me may upset me at first yes, but I'll accept it and let things be. Honesty is the best policy, regardless of how much someone may get hurt, just be honest.

12. This gets to my next point, why is it ingrained in current culture for arguments sake that men should be the one chasing the woman to get her attention. Why can’t the woman let the man know she’s interested? This whole ‘chase’ mentality just really needs to stop. She’s not going to play games with you when it comes to feelings so don’t string her along. Let your ego relax a little and let the woman ask you out. Let her ask you to come home with her, she’s wanting to get laid, and just as a guess you probably do too because you paid attention to her in the first place and wanted her to notice you. She might even want more too if it’s all worth it. She’d be open to anything ranging from friendship to lovers, to whatever works. We’re all adults and I’d like to think we all switched on enough to work out fairly quickly whether something is worth continuing or not. If he wants to do the work fine, I’m sure she’ll let him, but he shouldn’t be rejecting any effort from her when it’s given to him, because it’s probably taken her some courage to do so in the first place and wouldn’t he want the pressure taken off him just a little bit especially if he wanted her attention? She’s also probably just as interested, he would know if she wasn’t interested; and women can be capable too.

Both parties should be able to meet each other halfway with effort, and work 50/50 to make a go of things. It shouldn’t be give and take and it shouldn’t be one party or the other doing all the work. It should fall on both sets of shoulders. A lot of women get tired of getting attention from guys, so they reciprocate that attention because they’re just as interested, by being proactive and doing something about it, and are more or less ‘ghosted’. That’s cowardly behaviour. If a man shows interest, follow through with that interest, don’t bail before giving anything a chance. Why can’t women make the first move to get what they want too? Didn’t the man initially get the woman’s attention because he wanted to sleep with her? Maybe she does as well…

Maybe it’s the social media. We all have it, we all enjoy it, it’s not going to go away, but it’s changed everyone’s ability in how to speak to one another. People are afraid to say how they feel now regardless of whether it’s good or bad. We can be keyboard warriors and armchair experts to strangers but we can’t have decent conversations with people we actually meet and want to get to know further, we are all too scared. How do you think your grandparents met each other? They didn’t have social media, they met each other in person, and spoke to each other in person and showed effort to each other. Maybe social media and the online world is what makes guys run away from normal or average or different because they are so used to seeing ‘perfect’ that anything different to ‘perfect’ hits them for six, and they don’t know how to handle it. I’m not perfect and I refuse to be, what a hard life that would be to live up to and expensive too. All that botox and plastic surgery just to be ‘perfect’ and to put on a persona that’s not me- no thanks. I’m happy doing what I’m doing. I enjoy my exercise, it makes me feel good and that’s enough even though sometimes I do have doubts about my body, I see so much ‘perfection’ online that I often feel like I’m expected to look the same. I prefer to be stronger, fitter, have muscles and just be myself any day, than worry about what snap chat filter to use, or how much money I need to go under the knife or change my personality to impress people, so just take me as I am.

13. Also if you are in a relationship be honest about it. We don't need to see the ins and outs. That's no ones business other than yours and your partners, but leading other people on, showing other people your attention, letting them think that you're single and they may have a chance with you, when in actual fact you're not and they don't have a single chance whatsoever. That's not on. Not only does it upset the person your paying attention to, it will also upset your partner and then most likely everyone loses in some way shape or form. So just don’t do it. It's almost a form of cheating and I don't have time for cheaters. There will be no second chances with cheaters. If you are not 150% in your relationship and you want to be with and pay attention to other people, then break up.

Once you make your partner feel like they're not the only one, whether it's cheating or not, that's a rule breaker. If you are paying attention and showing interest and appearing keen and single to others, when you're in a relationship, perhaps you need to take a good look at your own relationship and decide if it's for you or not. Maybe the relationship isn’t strong enough to keep going, sometimes you have to be honest with yourself, and especially if someone within the relationship, is wanting to make eyes at other people and wander, that’s not showing your partner any respect. (Not everyone deserves everyone’s respect, and that’s life, just don’t be unkind about it). Decide if things need to change and work on them. Don't throw your relationship away before you think about it properly, but if you’re not into the relationship 150%, throwing the relationship away is probably the best option. No one likes to break relationships up, but maybe walking away from the relationship is what needs to happen too. Look at Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth? Sad they couldn't work it out and make they're marriage last, but they obviously weren't happy, and the following behaviour, especially from Miley where she wanted to wander, she really wasn’t ready to settle, she wanted to be with other people, now I think they are both better off apart. You should be in a relationship for the right reasons. Is there a reason someone is paying attention to someone else and showing them interest? Are they really ready to settle? Or do they still need time to be with other people?

If there's someone else, before you go breaking everyone's hearts, make sure that someone else gets your complete and full attention, don't go doing the same thing by paying a person number 3 the attention you paid person number 2, when you just left your last relationship with person number 1 for. Does that make sense? Prove to the current person you are with (even if it means you broke up with someone to be with someone else), that they are the only one for you, and that you only have eyes for them. They deserve that at least. Person number 2 doesn't need you running around behind their back giving person number 3 attention, just like you did with person number 1 to get to person number 2.

Just don't cheat. Break up before you move on is all I'm saying.

14. Going back to all things Dutch, maybe I’m learning the language for one of many reasons; to impress a guy and get his attention, and I don’t know how successful it is, but it’s my way of trying and/or making an effort because he is still in my head. He is Dutch, he works abroad for 95% of the year, he doesn’t even live in Australia and the situation is incredibly far fetched and that damn difficult, I don’t even understand why I would even want to pursue this idea, but if you really can’t let something go, you put in the effort, you try and want to make it work, right? He will not leave my thoughts and I miss him way too much, more than what I should. I would love it if he either let me make an effort or he made a little effort in return, but I don’t expect too much really, I’m sure I’m flogging a dead horse after eight months and counting. Maybe he’s just someone who’s very easy on the eyes 💪 who I can only like from a distance 😍. I would like to be his friend, I would like to take him home and have sex with him and I would like to get to know him. Situations can be hard, and situations can come with huge limitations and often situations distort reality, I get all that, but give me a little credit. I hope he thinks about me just as much as I think about him. I hope he misses me just as much and I hope some days he thinks about the exact same things as I do, like wanting to get to know me too, or wanting to come to bed with me… naked… 💋 I suddenly have Tove Lo’s Talking Body in my head.

15. If he wants to see me, or wants to give something a go with me, be it anything, then I’m giving him a few choices: Don’t fly straight home at the start of the holidays, come to Bairnsdale, het is niet zo moeilijk om een supermarktmerk in Bairnsdale te vinden waar ik voor werk, omdat iedereen boodschappen nodig heeft. Be my personal travel guide… Netherlands… Caribbean… Miami… Please transfer and be around when the 30/01/2021 arrives. I’d love to see a friendly and familiar face. I will be partaking in water slides, mini golf, ice skating, and laser tag and I will consider surfing and rock climbing. I still have around 14 months to go until my holiday and I’m not giving up hope that I will see him again yet but maybe one day I will if I can’t see anything working, I can’t hold on to nothing forever.

16. Would I like to contact him? Would I like him to contact me? Fuck yes, but I’m not here to beg for his attention. I also feel I shouldn’t, that I haven’t got the right to, so I sit here quietly thinking about him and doing nothing about it…. So, I’ve said my piece. I’m interested in him and I think about him every day. Everything tells me not to be, but here I am, still interested. I’ve tried contacting before it didn’t work, and I can only hope I see him again sooner, rather than later, for one last opportunity and where possible, there’s a way around the situation- whether it works or not, whether I can try and contact him or not, time will tell. I do think he’s around again for a reason, I just hope that, that can extend out until January 2021 if that’s the only chance available. If everything fails, it fails, and at least I can say I tried without bailing before giving it a chance and I’ll accept whatever life throws at me, I’m used to that. I will ask though; I’d like to know why Australia is on the cards again at the same familiar home? I appreciate it regardless and although I hate the fact I’m not around this time and it’s so long before my holiday and wishing I could find the time to see him sooner, I’m sticking around aren’t I? I’ll just be over there instead of the familiar, as I said I’m loyal. All I can say is, please accept my feelings for what they are. I can’t ask for my feelings to be reciprocated even though I would like them to be, I guess I would just like them to be have been acknowledged.

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