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#needed to scream about this for a min

notnamedjohn · 23 days

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IN STARS AND TIME SPOILERS

ACT 6/TWO HATS

God I love how much Loop tries to hate Siffrin but deep down really just can’t bring themselves to commit to it. Like they start off as being intentionally annoying because “look this idiot got stuck in a timeloop! How embarrassing! He wants to stay with his friends but can’t bring themselves to actually talk about it! COULDN’T BE ME” and they empathize with Sif because yeah no shit they went through it too. They actually want them to break free of the loops because what they are going through is horrible and so so painful that it hurts to watch.

They give actual genuine advice (hidden behind alot of teehee’s) and talk through Sif’s ideas and theories. They are always there waiting for Sif to come back and try to work out the next thing they should be doing. And, in my opinion, I think they enjoy it. They went through their own timeloop hell and they finally have someone who understands and can talk to about it. Sure that person is you who made the same blinding mistake and is making it worse and you can’t help to make fun of them because its like the you from your most embarrassing moment that lives rent free in your head is right in front of you and you get to be like “hey man what were you thinking? That was really stupid what you did oh my god.”

But I can only imagine how that “haha ur dumb but im here to talk” energy gives way to actual spite and jealousy as Siffrin gets farther than Loop. They killed the king, Loop never could. They find out more about wish craft, Loop never got that opportunity. They can read their native language and speak it again, Loop is still stuck with headaches and fleeting memories. And worst of all? They won. They get to live their lives with their family. They made it through hell and won. The King is defeated,their family is with them promising to stay together and keep adventuring together seeing all these wonderful places and things. And Loop never will. Loop lost their family. They lost them because of their wish. A wish they couldn’t handle. Their family THEIR family is gone forever. The only one who can remember them is stuck with copies that see them as a stranger. And the only way to get them back? To even HOPE to have a chance at being by their side? To kill the better version of you. To murder the one who the Universe loves more. To kill the person who stole your happy ending and family. The person who struggled the same as you. Who came to you whenever they needed help, because they trusted you. The person who came so SO close to failing just like you, but you saved them because you know how much it hurts. The person who you wanted to succeed. The person who you can’t kill no matter how badly you want to.

If you lose to Loop in their fight. They won’t kill Siffrin. They can’t. Not after all of the pain the two of them went through. Not after they have a chance of being happy. Loop just can’t do it because they feel that they don’t deserve it. For all their talk of Siffrin needing to work things out with their family, Loop can’t do the same. They can’t look them in the eye and tell them they are Siffrin, they tried so so hard but couldn’t do it and left them all behind. In their eyes, why should they get a happy ending? They doomed an entire reality, their family and left them behind. They can’t take Siff’s place because they know Siff deserves it. Because they won. They made it. They earned their happy ending.

And im so FUCKING NORMAL ABOUT THAT.

#in stars and time #isat spoilers #isat siffrin #isat loop #isat #god i hope Loop finds peace bro I swear to god #sorry for the rant #needed to scream about this for a min

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abloomingperiod · 1 year

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try | min yoongi

"i hate you."

he snaps his head, eyes locked on your face, but not to the point where he used to go - making you unable to speak.

"i hate you and your eyes when they're searching for any ounce of secrecy in mine. i hate your ability to catch every word that i keep from you before i stuff them down my throat again. i hate your will to listen to me, and even more, your desire to do it again. i hate your hands and how they never fucking let my chin when i try and hide from you.

yoongi is a man of personality. he will scoff, he will bicker, he will complain and he will make his opinions clear.

but now, as he watched closely the way your face glowed with your tears, he knows better. like he knows the palm of his hand, he knows the best he can do, is keep his mouth shut.

"i hate how you make everything seem so easy, but somehow can't figure out how to fucking call after 5 days of sleeping and staying with me." you're aware of your surroundings: his place, his room, his space. you sense you should feel bad about telling him off at his own goddamn home.... but should you?

after he did the same?

after he went to your place, your room, your space, and then tore you off like a used band-aid from a wound?

you're not the type to go just vent. no, you're top caught up in your own head to do so. yet, you feel like he should be as uncomfortable as one can possibly be.

he made you feel that, why shouldn't he?

"i fucking hate your arms when they embrace me, even though i want you away. i hate that they know i don't really want to." you weakly let out a bitter laugh at that, knowing you're probably falling off the deep end of what should be a tell off, a firm and stern goodbye. but you know you could never do that.

that is not you, and yoongi also knows that very well. which is why his eyes go redder and redder, saved from your sight by his dark locks and your scared chin, that holds your face down.

"i hate your fucking body for making mine feel so unprepared and held hostage of you. i hate your warmth and i hate the feel of your hands on me. i hate your fucking touch, and i hate the fact that if you approach me right now, i will forget everything i want to say. i hate how you make me forget my own name, but can't seem to know anything but yours when i'm coming down under you" you feel your cheeks redden as they have been doing lately every time anything carnal comes up regarding yoongi, and the fact that it does, only makes you hate him even more.

because it's never been like that. no carnal shit has ever made your cheeks red.

because this wasn't just carnal, and you knew that.

and you hated yoongi for that.

"i hate you for making me feel like i'm the only thing in the world, like i'm your fucking 'love'" you hiss at the nickname he himself put in you.

"there you go, love" "good morning, love" "you can tell me anything, love" "but i want to hear about it, love" "i'm being serious, love"

love, love, love..

it seems impossible to not observe those 4 letters move around until it becomes a mere gutted, bitter and scary feeling.

yoongi catches his breath before you can hear any urgent sniffle from him. because of course he does. he undresses you, your feelings and your heart, and uses it as a shield for his own.

"i hate you more than anything and everyone in the world, because i can't fucking hate you",

and with that, your voice breaks, along with your already weak posture and you hold your face on your hands as to try and protect the last layer that's left, and surprisingly, the first he peeled when he first saw you across that bar, with a dark, firm make-up trying and holding his stare, whilst keeping a smile as your teeth sank on your on lip.

he knows every layer of you, and like nothing, tears it apart.

yoongi feels like a kid that's desperately trying to cover his misdoings from his elders. he knows he's beyond to blame, but still, keeps his gaze on the floor as the only glimpse of you he catches is your nervous feet, movind around nonstoppably.

"and i hate you because i fucking love you, desperately and insanely."

yoongi lifts his gaze for the first time since you started talking, and he scolds himself like never before for that.

seeing people crying is never the best sight, but watching you, the person he feels like he could kill for, breaking apart in front of him, doesn't feel like a scold.

it feels worse.

a sinking consequence.

a punishment.

a capital sin he should pay for.

"i can't fucking do this anymore" you say in a defeated voice "you did it, congratulations. you know me and not you know what you did." yoongi can sense what you're about to do and his heart, if not on the ground, is probably because it got stuck in his tightening grip on the counter top he supported himself.

"i don't know what else you intend to do, but it has to stop. i'm done with your shit, so leave me out of it. this isn't me, this isn't the type of thing i get into, and you fucking know that because i told you so." your tears start falling again, and your head feels like it's gonna explode. but the pain isn't as near as the one in your heart. "so please, please" you beg him, and you're sure you never seemed so pleading, not even when you wanted him to make you beg in other circumstances "fucking let me be, 'cause i can't stand this anymore."

yoongi feels like he might bust at any moment. how could he be so inside his own head, to not realize what he has done before you literally cried it out for him?

but of course he wouldn't. it was so easy to read others, but not nearly as easy as shutting off from them.

but he knows better than to cherish this fact. after seeing the damage he has done, it was transformed into a reason to feel ashamed of himself.

and he hates himself for that. he hated every layer you peeled for him, as he simultaneously battle himself to not peel his own. he hated that, and he hated that it affected you.

you. the person that made him feel like a deranged man. the person he kissed every limb, chased every freckle, cleaned every millimeter of skin after marking it, and mumbled desperate promises in the dead of night to.

you, his love.

but love wasn't supposed to hurt like that.

he knows that very well.

and you know that very well, too.

and he's aware of that, even more so now, that you're gathering every layer he peeled off of you, to regain yourself.

he knows he fucked everything up.

he knows.

he, then, reaches for something in his pocket. a black, tiny box, and fiddles with it for a few seconds.

you're not sure why, but your legs feel like giving up.

"i should've been quicker on my feet" he mumbles, as he sadly looks down at the mysterious object.

"i got it a month ago... the day after the blackout" he seems to go back to that day. ah, yes. the blackout.

it was mid-afternoon, a regular saturday with not much to do, but since you had yoongi over your body, and his warm, plump lips on your skin, it was far from boring.

unfortunately, as you guys laid spent on his bed, your phone died, which meant it hadn't charged, and that's when you realized the power went off.

his place had two way out's and both needed energy to function. so instead of storming out as you used to do after your rendezvous, you stood there, with him. and hours ago, after huge conversations, room-filling laughter and urgent make out sessions, as you left, yoongi realized he wished the power never came back.

he comes back to where you're both at right now, and it feels like ages ago.

a month.

he went a month with that ring on his pocket slapping his own face mentally as he tried to find the perfect time to open its lid and his heart for you.

but you were quicker on your feet, as you were quicker on wearing your heart on your sleeve when you got comfortable - or wrecked - enough.

yoongi bitterly chuckles, but you don't hate him for that. no, his single tear detaches from him in such a fast way you don't have the time to do so, before another one comes.

"i know you find commitment jewelry rather 'lame"... so you can still use it as just accessory, if you want to." he keeps explaining himself with a voice that's suffocated from his urge to cry. he lets another sad, bitter chuckle out "you seemed so radiant when it fit your finger..."

he couldn't've.

he shouldn't've.

well, he did.

"you shouldn't have done that'." you lightly scold him.

"i wanted to"

"what changed, then?"

"it has 'i love you' engraved inside, you know."

then, his eyes get to yours, and you feel like you've been petrified.

of course it did.

and you know very well it didn't when you tried it back then in the pottery shop, but it did now, and you don't know if it's a sick game of his, or if he's really that much of a coward to not put himself together and just give it - the ring and his whole - to you, like he knew you were wiling to do for him.

"you know damn well i am right here ready for you and you don't do it"

"i'm sorry-"

"do you even know what goes inside your head?"

"i wish i didn't if it'd make it easier"

then, you go silent. yoongi is good with words, but surprisingly, not when is his own thoughts translated to them. and you're tired of it.

"i can't put myself into something if it's one-sided"

"it's not"

"you don't seem to be sure of that"

"i'm as sure as i am with death"

you can't do this anymore, you can't, you can't.

"yoongi, i can't be tortured like that because you're afraid" then, you snap back into it all. "hell, i was fucking mortified and yet i let it go because you made me feel like i could" the least you can do is fucking retribute."

and he knows that.

he knows that.

"i can retribute"

you sigh and close your eyes. no. not this. not months ago. not now.

not when you can't do it anymore.

"a ring and a tear is not enough"

"i don't think it is"

you look back to the floor and wish you could stop your tears from coming back, but it would be wasted effort. one you could use right now to say no to his advances.

yoongi tries to approaching you carefully, like you could break just from feeling his warm body close to you. "can i?" he asks.

you look back at his eyes with a feeling you know he understands, and he wants to slaps his own face for being responsible for it.

you're guarded up.

of course you are, and it didn't surprise him.

then, he reaches the black box for you.

"i still think it looks beautiful on you" he comments, the same thing he commented months ago, when you tried it.

"looks beautiful on you, love."

you sniff at his gift, and touches it as if it was a new puppy for a kid, or a confirmation letter from the best college out there for a teen.

you touch it as if you adored it, even in it's been seconds since he gave it to you.

you touch it as if it was a piece of him he gave to you.

you touch it as if it was him.

and suddenly, your fingers itches for his skin.

and you cry because of it.

"i would do anything to try again" he says in a tone that made you heart break three times in a row. "anything."

you stare at him, and his eyes are already on you.

"you really think you tried once?"

he fucking crumbles at your words. they cut like a knife, but he knows you're not lying.

it might be hurting like nothing before, but you're not lying.

"i think i can try more. this i think" he retaliates, but not in a defensive way, no. yoongi knows he's in no place to do so.

it sounds more like a fact. he knows he can.

all he needed is for you to know it too.

he approaches you, but this time, you don't move an inch, and doesn't raise one eyebrow. instead, you feel it and your tears falling together.

"let me try."

he says, looking right at your eyes, and you swear you wanted to grab him by his collar and never let him go. as usual.

yoongi cups your face carefully, his thumbs wiping your tears away as you bit your lip anxiously.

"i want- i will try."

you raise your eyes and find his, that are already on yours and you find in them a stripped yoongi; one that you've only seen in the dead of night, one you've only seen when he's with his six closest friends.

one you've only seen when he loses himself in his true colors.

"anything." he says, mouth close to yours, gaze never letting go.

and when he feels your hand raising the box to him, for a few seconds, he feels his heart in shambles all around the room.

but that is until you open your mouth.

"start from when you stopped, then."

oh, and will he.

with his whole being, and his entire soul.

for a minute, you hate him for saying those exact words.

but at the same time, deep down to where he can see in your eyes, you know you don't.

you know, you actually love it.

you love it.

you love him.

and you see mirrored in his eyes.

he loves you.

he loves you, he will try.

he will try.

#screaming crying throwing up #CAN YOU SMELL THE 10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU IN THE AIR #i love him #min yoongi #min yoongi imagine #min yoongi drabble #min yoongi angst #min yoongi exes to lovers #min yoongi bts #bts imagine #bts min yoongi #suga #agust d #suga imagine #i know i need to learn about real and healthy love leave me alone

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tackmins · 8 days

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tack is whatever the opposite of doomed by the narrative is. he can’t die, both literally and in a deeper sense. and it’s not for lack of trying! he tries to sacrifice himself over and over and every time he’s propped up as the example that you Can’t Just Die. and though i think the end of chrysalis is uhhh…questionable, bringing everyone back means finally leaning into this role of rebirth and starting over (min tried to be this but ultimately needed to kill toby to finish the story). tack is the antithesis of extinction. he’s a fire you can’t put out. this was always going to be his role. he has no choice in the matter. it’s not even so much saved by the narrative as it is forced to return to the narrative until there’s no one left who needs help.

#which will be never because min will always need him #like everyone has to come back but it’s tack who illustrates this the most clearly #(you’d think it would be hector. which is part of why their potential dynamic slaps)#when he couldn’t die he tried to just take off and was dragged back kicking and screaming #and then realized he cannot leave. he’s bound there. doomed to live in a cabin under min for all eternity or something #in this essay i will #tack russo #max rants about project nemesis

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mcdbutgay · 1 year

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mcd aaron as a character frustrates me SO MUCH BC HES A GOOD CHARACTER IN THEORY BUT KNOWING HOW HE ENDS UP,,, WHAT HE ENDS UP BEING IS SO AHGHHH

i REALLY hate how they dumb down the characters in mystreet, like. i understand that mystreet is SUPPOSED to be a lihht hearted slice of life (at least, at the beginning. i don’t even wanna TOUCH myst s4-6) but REGARDLESS THE FACT THAT SO MANY CHARACTERS GET DUMBED DOWN IS SO FRUSTRATING BC THEYRE SO GOOD IN MCD.

katelyn, garroth, laurance, aaron,, aaron is especially frustrating bc i REALLY don’t like aarmau. i never have, and the fact that it essentially DOMINATES mcd/myst at a certain point is annoying. also the fact that he’s so mysterious and cryptic in mcd is SO COOL but then he only turns out to be some guy. GOD. i hate this stupid show.

then again i am only going off of what i remember, which is from when the episodes originally came out YEARS ago. i could toootally be wrong about a lot of stuff since im nowhere NEAR being done with mcd but still its nice to vent (currently on s2 ep24 as of me writing this)

#lowkey i dont wanna tag this post w stuff that will reach wider audiences bc rlly its just me venting but #ughhh idk. dont rb? i dont think this is reblog worthy in the slightest lol i just need to SCREAM #and like i said i could be wrong about SOOO many things but who cares its my mcd side acc i can do whatever and being wrong is fine lmao #its not like im spreading misinfo or anything bc i KNOW its true lol #anyway.#idk how many ppl read my tags but this doesnt rlly deserve a post of its own #i dont think ill be continuing the chibis as much as id love to lol #the zoeymau post got SO much attention and im forever grateful for that but im starting school soon and wont have time to draw for a while #i’ll still post obviously lol im not planning on going on hiatus again i promise #but idk i cant promise to post EVERYDAY bc homework n shit lol. also i dont always feel like watching mcd bc SHITS DRAINING AS HELL and also #i tear up every few mins bc of nostalgia LMFAOOO okay ill shut up now haha #ashe.txt

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chaos-coming · 2 years

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My aunt and cousin dont understand why my sister and i are fucked up, bc our parents abused us and did not make decisions based on our wellbeing, only their own. But my aunt was not abused by her parents the way that her brother (our dad) was, so she isnt fucked in the head like our parents are, and so in turn she did not abuse her son (our cousin), and neither of them can comprehend just how badly our parents treated us in comparison to how she raised her family. And it makes it really hard for me to see how my aunt did everything so that my cousin would have good experiences and grow and learn and explore, while our parents did everything to make their own lives easier, and their children were just a nuissance that gave them anxiety and whom they disposed of at the earliest convenience (lock them in the house) or else needed micromanage because they had too much anxiety and no desire to view children as humans instead of housepets who obey orders and produce academic successes they can brag about, and never have needs of their own or want to leave the house. My aunt took my cousin travelling all over the country, we were taken to the house and dropped off like luggage, forbidden to leave or interact with anyone. To say that i'm jealous my cousin had a childhood that didnt come straight out of a shrink's notebook would be a wild underexaggeration. I resent our parents so much for being shit at being parents and my aunt and cousin have zero clue how terrible they were and all they can say is stop being so negative not everything is your parents' fault. Which is super frustrating and invalidating bc its like if YOUR parents had abused you the way my parents did and their parents did, then youd understand just how thoroughly and deeply abusive parents can fuck your life up