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teyamsatan · 1 year

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The Archer | Chapter II: Out of the Woods

Chapter I Chapter II Chapter III Chapter IV Chapter V Chapter VI Chapter VII Chapter VIII Chapter IX Chapter X

Summary: A fight with Neteyam makes you run to the forest with the rest of the Sully kids, right into the arms of the enemy. You come face to face with a man you never thought you'd ever get to see.

Pairings: Neteyam x Avatar!Reader

Word Count: 10,2k words

Warnings/notes: smut(18+, minors DNI!), angst, mentions of death, disease, blood, violence, cursing, SPOILERS for ATWOW

A/N: I am writing this at 2am, so my apologies for any grammar errors, I am exhausteddd!! I don't know if you can tell, but I am actually really struggling writing any of the scenes (particularly action scenes) from the movie, and describing what is happening on the screen is the bane of my life. Also, sometimes I can't understand what the dialogue is and I can't find the script or english subtitles and it makes me unnecessarily upset. Also my inspo for the dad is Oscar Isaac cause wow what a man. Can he be my daddy too? Hahahaha ok i'm so tired i'm gonna go to sleep enjoyyy x

Remember when I hit the brakes too soon? Twenty stitches in a hospital room

When you started crying, baby, I did too, but when the sun came up, I was looking at you

Remember when we couldn't take the heat? You walked out, you said "I'm setting you free"

But the monsters turned out to be just trees, when the sun came up you were looking at me

You watched Neteyam leave the comfort of your shared tent and you instantly knew he felt horrible about what he said. You knew he didn’t mean it, but in this moment, you didn’t care. He had to have meant it to a certain degree for it to come out so easily out of his mouth.

As you were preparing to leave, unable to spend the night in this place, in this tent, where everything hurt, where every corner had photos and trinkets and memories that you couldn’t bear look at in this moment, you heard a squeaky voice you loved break through the unbearable silence. You were a mess, you knew, paint splattered all over your face, neck and torso, seeping into the woven fabric of your top, but you wouldn’t deny her - you couldn’t.

“Come in, Tuk-tuk.”

She gently opened the flap and walked in sheepishly, carrying your mother’s guitar that you gifted to her almost a year ago.

“I’m sorry about Neteyam.” She looked so sad you almost started crying again, this pure soul who felt and cared for everything around her, listened to everyone and always made you feel important, always made you feel heard.

You knelt and opened your arms in her direction, and you saw her place the guitar carefully on the ground and run into your open arms.

“Oh, my dear girl, you have nothing to be sorry about. That is between me and him, it has nothing to do with you, alright, baby?”

“But it does have to do with me, because he is wrong. You have a family, you have always had a family. We’re your family. Sullys stick together.”

The tears started as if completely independent from the rest of your body, and you couldn’t stop the cry that made its way out of your throat without your consent. This little girl you loved so much managed to undo so much of her brother’s mistakes in just a few words, and you felt so grateful to have her in your life, so grateful to have someone to call a sister.

“Baby, I was going to go wash this whole day off, would you like to come with me? We can take Neyn, we can bring the guitar, you can sing to me the song I showed you?”

“Yay, adventure time!”

You chuckled at this 9 year old who reminded you a lot of Lo’ak at her age, always up for new experiences, as long as it avoided the boredom of the mundane. You knew you were going to get in trouble with Jake and Neytiri for taking their youngest away at night, but right now you just needed to be away from here, and you couldn’t find it in your heart to turn away this precious soul who just made you less miserable in just a few minutes.

You sneaked out of your tent, feeling stupid for feeling like you had to sneak out in the first place, like you were an unruly teenager, not a full-grown adult who just got her heart broken by her mate. He should be sneaking out. As a matter of fact, he should be sneaking in, begging on his knees for your forgiveness, like he used to when he was young. I guess that’s just another thing that has changed in the year you have become mated. You signalled for Tuk to get on your ikran, who was dozed off next to the rest of your family’s, and you cursed yourself for waking her up after such a traumatic day.

“I’m sorry, sweet girl.” You said with a kiss on her snout, and she cooed affectionately at you. You made the tsaheylu and you couldn’t feel any fear, anxiety or frustration in her thoughts, which put your mind at ease a little, and, with a hand on the neural whip and the other wrapped tightly around Tuk’s chest, you took flight.

It was a short trip to the cave you and Neteyam come to all the time, the one that had a small subterranean lake that you would sometimes wash in. The water was absolutely freezing, never seeing the light of day, but it was peaceful and clean, and that sounded as good to you as heaven right now. You dove in without a second thought, the freezing water inundating all your senses, healing all the wounds that were scratching painfully at your heart.

Why would he say that?

I mean, you did attack him about saving his baby brother, who would have probably died if it wasn’t for him.

He should’t have to keep saving Lo’ak at his own expense.

He shouldn’t have to, but he does. Lo’ak wants to prove himself, and Neteyam is a protector by nature. It’s like asking water to not be wet.

I want to kill Lo’ak.

No, you don’t. Because you understand Lo’ak. You’re sad for Lo’ak, for always living in his brother’s shadow, for always getting the cold shoulder from his dad, who you also know is just being harsh because he has to be, because no one else can be.

What if he dies? What do I do then?

Your mind didn’t have a quippy answer to that - or any answer at all. You were left alone, with no answers and enough terror to fill this whole floating cave and overflow around it. You emerged from the water and got on your back, just floating aimlessly, trying to get your heart to stop pounding in your chest and the tears stop pricking at your eyes. What if he dies?

“Can I swim with you?”

Tuk’s question pulled you out of your frightened contemplation, and you realised you have probably been unnervingly quiet for too long.

“It’s really cold, Tuk-tuk, I don’t want you to get sick. How about I take you to a warmer lake tomorrow and we can swim together, would you like that?”

“YES!”

“Can I come, too?”

The deep voice stopped you in your tracks, and you almost drowned when your feet stopped paddling underwater to keep you upright.

“NETEYAM!” Regardless how upset Tuk was at her older brother’s words, Neteyam would always be her favourite. Her favourite sibling, her favourite family member. Some people in the village loved asking Jake and Neytiri whether Tuk was more a mother’s or a father’s girl, but in reality, Tuk was her brother’s girl.

“Hi, Tuk. What are you doing here? You want to give mother and father a heart attack?” The little girl’s face was nestled in Neteyam’s neck, hidden from sight behind his long braids that moved as she chuckled.

“I wanted to keep my sister company.”

“You need to go to sleep, parultsyìp. How about I take you back home and then I can keep her company?”

“Will you apologise?”

Neteyam shifted uncomfortably on his feet, and looked to the ground - he was embarrassed.

“Yes, I will apologise. Come, let’s go.” He let her down and patted her back affectionately to get her to go ahead before him.

“Please don’t leave? I’ll come as soon as I make sure she’s with my parents.” He looked at you pleadingly, begging you silently. A year ago you would have ran for the hills, took off to not be found by anyone, but just like so many other things, this has also changed. You weren’t a child anymore, careless and impulsive, controlled by your never-ending grief and anger; you had to be better. You were someone’s daughter now, someone’s mate, someone’s sister. You were a future Tsa’hik, you were one of the best warriors in the clan. People depended on you. Despite what Neteyam so cruelly told you, you did have a family. And he was part of it. So you would wait.

You nodded without looking at him, and you heard him sigh in relief. He placed something on the ground before he turned on his heels with Tuk in his arms, and you noticed with a sudden burst of pain felt all within you that it was a flower bouquet. That’s why he took so long…

You washed yourself properly now that you were alone, and when you got out, you noticed the guitar that Tuk forgot to pick up with her still resting on a wall of the cave. You sat next to it, back resting on the same wall, and picked it up, your mind immediately wandering to your mum. With everything going on around you, you have not been able to visit the Tree of Souls after your consciousness transfer. It’s been a year since you saw your mum as you lay dying and you regretted every day not going back to visit, to see if you could see her again, see if Eywa would be able to bring her back to you, at least in this way. The guitar was tiny in your hands now, but you could still play the chord if you were really careful. You started strumming a song, and let yourself sing to let out the hurt and fright.

Looking at it now, it all seemed so simple, we were lying on my couch, I remember

You took a Polaroid of us, and then discovered the rest of the world was black and white, but we were in screaming colour

Your bracelet hanging from my hand, the night we couldn’t quite forget, when we decided

To move the furniture so we could dance, baby, like we stood a chance, two paper airplanes flying

And I remember thinking, are we out of the woods yet? Are we in the clear yet?

Are we out of the woods yet? Are we in the clear yet?

“Well… we are definitely out of the woods.”

You saw Neteyam’s shadowy figure slowly walking towards you, deeper in the cave, the silhouette of his body and the braids swinging from of side to the other to only thing you can make out in the darkness. You glared in his direction and he winced, already regretting his words.

He sat down in front of you, with his legs crossed so your knees were touching. He reached a hand to your knee and caressed it gently.

“Thank you for waiting.”

You refused to look at him, instead opting for the dimly illuminated lake to your left, that twinkled every time a drop of water would fall from the ceiling. You traced the stalactites and their curious shapes, fascinated with they clung to the wall, when you felt Neteyam’s hand on your cheek, softly turning your face to face him.

“Atan, please, look at me. I can’t stand it when you refuse to look at me.”

Tears fell from your eyes like water from the roof of the cave, and eventually you looked at him, and saw his pained expression, and you knew how bad he felt. You could feel it in your soul, his misery, but it did very little to comfort you. It was easy to feel bad after the fact.

“Atan… I am so sorry. I could never express into words how sorry I am, I will pay my whole life for what I said, what I spat at you in a moment of stupid anger. I just want you to know that it isn’t true. What I said, it isn’t true. You’ve always had a family. You’ve always had us, and Norm and Max. You’ve always had me. I have been your family my whole life, and I am so, so sorry. There’s no excuse for what I said.”

“I forgive you.” You placed your hand on his chest when you noticed him trying to get close to you. ‘I’m not finished.”

“I forgive you. But I need some time.”

“What do you mean you need some time?”

“I mean, I have to figure out how I will do this. How I could possibly do this. How I can watch the man I promised to spend the rest of my life with kill himself before the rest of my life can ever come, and learn to ever be ok with it.

You were right. I never had a family. I had a mum who didn’t want to live past my tenth birthday, friends I cared for, but that lived in a completely different world to mine, people that tried to be there for me but I pushed them away, a dead dad and you. A guy I loved my whole life who left me without saying goodbye. I’ve never had a family.

But I have one now. And you’re right. You’re right, it isn’t a choice. If I had to choose between my life any of yours, I would give mine up in an instant. And there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to make sure you are safe. So I do get it. But that doesn’t mean that I can watch you do it.

I know how hard this is on you… how much this enormous unspoken pressure weighs on you. Being Olo’eyktan, being the oldest son, the big brother, the protector. I know you won’t say it, and you won’t complain, but I know. You have nightmares, and you cry in your sleep. You cry for your dad, and for Lo’ak… for Tuk… for me. I hoped that you would talk to me about it, and I’ll be here to listen when you feel ready. I’m sorry you feel like you have to go through this alone.

But I don’t know if I can’t stand and watch you kill yourself. Because it will kill me too. So until I figure it out, I need some time.”

Neteyam was shedding silent tears that refused to stay hidden, and he felt his heart break at all your words, each one harder to hear than the last. Time? He didn’t have time. Time was for a different period of your lives, before the humans came, when you were young and wild and free to run through the forest whenever you pleased. Time was for when you made him sit through an entire season of a show he couldn’t understand half the words to, but he was just happy to sit in silence next to you, hearing your laughter bless his ears, his mind, his soul. Time was for when he took his siblings through the forest to forage for rocks and beads because Kiri wanted to make them all something special to wear for his second birth. There was no more time, no more future, no more past. Just the now, waiting to see what the humans have planned next, what hell they’ll rain on this planet this time, and who will suffer as a consequence.

“Atan…”

“I don’t want to put you out, so I will go sleep with the rest of the Avatars for a while. I have work to do in the lab anyway, so it’ll probably work better this way anyway.”

Neteyam saw you get up from where you sat, deep coldness settling where your knees weren’t touching him anymore and dispersing all throughout his body. He saw your back turn and you made your way out of the cave, stopping to pick up the flowers that he spent an hour collecting for you. You brought them closer to your face and smelled them, smiling sadly.

“Thank you for the flowers. It’s good to know at least some things haven’t changed. I love you, Neteyam. I’m sorry.”

Neteyam couldn’t find it in him to get up from the floor, and he felt the hopelessness envelop him like a blanket that he was suffocating under. What was he supposed to do? What did this mean? Is this a human thing? Neteyam remembers when you were much younger and you had to explain to him the concept of a “break”, after making him sit through a whole Friends marathon. Is this what this was? You were asking him for a break? Were you breaking up with him? Today just feels like a never-ending nightmare, and he was hoping that you would wake him up, like you always did, comforting him and singing him back to sleep. He didn’t have it in him to go back to the camp, so he lay on the cold ground of the cave, and let himself fall into a restless slumber - even if real nightmares did invade his subconsciousness, how much worse could they get?

You spent the next few days mostly in the lab, trying to take care of everyone who was affected in the fateful mission that left more than physical scars behind. It was a full-time job, as there were a lot of victims that required surgical intervention, which you were more than happy to do yourself. You’d like to think that it was because it would bring you peace - helping others - but you knew deep down you were also happy to be able to avoid Neteyam. You felt bad for what you said, bad for distancing yourself from someone you loved more than life itself, but you were still hurt and angry, still terrified and paralysed at the thought of losing him. You don’t know what this distance would achieve, but you were hoping for some clarity and perspective.

Norm and Max came in the little lab you turned into an intervention room as you were finishing checking in on the people you operated on a couple days ok, making sure their vitals were normal.

“OK - spill. What happened?” You heard Norm speak over the machines beeping in the room.

“What do you mean?” You removed your gloves and quietly made your way out of the lab.

“You’re never here this much anymore. I’m sure there are better things to be doing, and you know very well me and Max, or hell, Claire and Tim can take care of people post-operatively. We all know how to stitch wounds, Ace.”

“Not as well as me.”

“True, but definitely better than we would be at scouting and hunting, which is what you should be doing. So something happened. Had a fight with Neteyam?”

“Of sorts.”

You reached the dry labs and sat on one of the chairs that you barely fit in anymore; your elbow resting on your thighs, you put your head in your hands and sighed deeply.

“You’re gonna remove all the oxygen in the room if you sigh that hard.”

“We fought about the mission a few days ago. Lo’ak disobeyed Jake and got himself in danger - as usual -, and Neteyam got hit by the explosion as a result. I yelled at him about it, he yelled at me, it got ugly. I told him I need space. So I’m taking space.”

“So that’s why you’re sleeping in our tent. I knew it wasn’t just so you could check on people easier. Liar.”

“It’s not a complete lie, but yeah.”

“So what were you yelling to each other about?”

“So I said -“

Loud commotion happened around you as the door to the outside opened and in came Lo’ak, Kiri and Spider.

“Yeah, haha, real hysterical, you guys. You know what really sucks, though? That you can breathe the air here for hours, and I can only breath your air for like ten seconds.”

“Yeah, monkey boy, that really sucks. For you.”

Spider and Kiri have always been close, but recently, you felt a shift in their dynamic. It was a lot more flirtatious than friendly, and you couldn’t help wonder if there is something going on beneath the surface. Their interactions reminded you a lot of you and Neteyam’s before he left, just intimate enough they didn’t feel platonic anymore. Having been in Spider’s shoes, if there was, you felt bad for him. It was a slow poison, loving someone you know you could never have - whose body is literally incompatible to your own. You have always felt bad that you got an Avatar and Spider didn’t. In reality, you felt like he deserved it more. He has always been so connected to the Na’vi, so inseparable from the Sullys, so desperate for a family and a sense of belonging. Nobody knew this, but you were working hard to try to see if it was possible to build him one too. It would take time, but with the new technology and supplies the humans brought with them, maybe it wasn’t a pipe dream anymore.

Kiri finally acknowledged your presence.

“Hey, everyone!”

“Hey, kids!” Max chipped in enthusiastically. He loved when the Sullys came to visit.

“Hey, what’s up, Max?”

You didn’t look at Lo’ak, although he came really close to you and sat on a chair in front of yours. He moved on the chair until he was face to face with you, and put both of his hands on either side of you on the arm rests to force you to face him.

“Angel, are you going to be upset with me forever?”

You scowled at him and he smiled, and you melted a little. You could never stay mad at Lo’ak.

“You are a public menace, do you understand this?” it was his turn to scowl now, and he turned his gaze away from you - he seemed upset. You took his face in both your hands and brought his gaze back to yours.

“Lo’ak, I need you to be more careful. Please. I can’t lose you. And I can’t lose Neteyam, who will die one day trying to protect you. I know it’s hard, I know there’s so much you want to do and so much you want to prove, but please. Try?” You were looking at him as seriously and warmly as you could, pleading him to hear you, pleading that he would listen. He looked at you intently for a long time, and eventually, he nodded softly, looking remorseful. You moved his head downward a little so you had better access to his forehead and you gave him a quick peck, and noticed the slight purplish tint of his cheeks. You could never stay mad at Lo’ak.

“We’re going to go take a walk in the woods, come with us, please? I know you’re mad at Neteyam, but you can’t stay here forever. Even Norm and Max go out more than you.”

“Lo’ak, you shouldn’t be walking through the woods, you know this.”

“We’re not going to go far. We’re even taking Tuk, you know we would never put her in any danger.”

You raised an eyebrow at him. “She blackmailed you to come, didn’t she?”

You saw Lo’ak rolls his eyes and huff in annoyance. “…yes.”

“Fine, I’m literally only coming to make sure Tuk is safe.”

“I’ll take it. Let’s go, gang!!”

You had to admit it felt really good to be out, to just run on the huge vines that connected the Hallelujah mountains to the ground and to each other. It felt like a blessing to be able to still enjoy these views, these moments with your siblings, even amidst the chaos that was erupting everywhere around you. You went like this for ages, and even though you knew you should have gone back, knew Lo’ak was again pushing his luck and the safety of everyone here, you couldn’t find it in you to stop him. You wanted this, you craved the warmth and safety the forest gave you, your forever home, your forever first love. Even the thought of returning back to camp in a couple hours made you sad. So you decided to focus on the now, and just enjoy the time you’ve got.

It was close to eclipse when you decided to make your way back. The kids were not allowed past curfew, and you didn’t want to risk it, especially with Tuk around. You were disappointed, but not surprised when Lo’ak stopped in his tracks and moved away from your path to inspect something he found on the ground.

“What is it?” Kiri said, in an exasperated tone, and you found yourself mirroring her sentiments.

You saw Lo’ak and Spider hovering over a patch on the ground and you decided to go investigate.

“We’re always supposed to be home by eclipse.” You heard Tuk join in.

Your mouth dropped at the sight in front of you. Shoe prints, made by boots that couldn’t be worn by any human. You recognised the pattern of the sole, as you have seen it before among clothes worn by the RDA soldiers. Military combat boots. Your heart was thumping in your chest at the only possible explanation. You started looking around you, and you felt the all-too-familiar dread building in your stomach, greeting you like an old friend. You barely registered the words that Spider and Lo’ak were exchanging.

“It’s way too big for a human.”

“Avatars?”

“Maybe, but for sure not ours.”

You saw Lo’ak move towards where the footprints were headed, and you tried to will your legs to move, to stop them, tried to will yourself to speak, but you couldn’t find the words, just dread. Just pure fear at every possible scenario that could take place, your mind computing all your worst nightmares and displaying them to you like on an outdoor cinema screen. Eventually, you started moving your legs and made your way in front of Lo’ak, positioning your body, now just as strong and tall as his, in front of him.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

“I’m tracking.”

“Are you out of your goddamn mind?” You were trying so hard to keep your voice down, but it was hard to do when you felt rage replacing the anxiety and spilling over all around you.

“Angel, we have to see who it is. Whoever it is will never find us, this is our territory. We have to bring back the intel, and what are we going to say when dad asks us what did we see? We need to find out more.”

“Lo’ak, we are not prepared for this. I don’t have my gun, or a radio, or my bow. I have a knife. I’m not putting Kiri and Tuk in danger. We can go back and we can track tomorrow and figure it out. We know they’re Avatars. What you don’t know is that they’re military.”

You saw his face drop. “Yeah, that’s right. Those boots? They were worn by the RDA soldiers that murdered so many of our people. They’re larger now, but the imprint on them is the same. They fucking brought Avatar soldiers here this time. This is fucking serious. We have to go.”

He thought about it for a while. You hoped that he would listen, you hoped that he would abide by what you talked about only a few hours ago.

“We will be careful. We will keep our distance. Let’s just see what they’re doing, at least.”

You growled at him loudly, but said nothing, and the shock overtook your body when you realised that you were following him. You tried to tell your body to move, to take Kiri and Tuk and leave, but you couldn’t. You couldn’t leave him or Spider, couldn’t bear the thought of them getting hurt and you not being there to help. Fuck, you owed Neteyam an apology.

You followed the tracks for a while, until you found them, and you kept your distance in the bushes and observed quietly. You could see six people in the clearing where 19 years ago, Jake and Neytiri defeated Quaritch, Spider’s dad. It was a forbidden place, cursed by dark, ominous energy that will plague this land for many years to come. The people were clearly Avatars, dressed in camo outfits, carrying so much weaponry it was making your knees shake. Every cell in your body was begging you to move, begging you to run, but you couldn’t, not until Lo’ak the rest of them were safely behind you. So you waited, trying to gather as much information as you could. The Avatars were searching the hub for any sign of recent life, and they took particular interest in exo-suit that you know belonged to Quaritch. In it, there were 2 arrows that you recognised as Neytiri’s, the emerald green feathers a dead giveaway. You never knew exactly how Spider’s dad died, and neither did he, so you wondered what feelings were plaguing him watching this unfold.

“We are never supposed to be here.” Kiri says, in a forceful tone. “Dad is going to ground you…”

“Shh, Kiri.” Lo’ak said exasperatedly, talking over his sister. “…for life.”

“Bro, we have got to check this out.”

You put your arm in front of the two boys. “Absolutely not. This is as far as we go. Call this in, now. I don’t have my radio.”

“No, bro, we’re gonna get in trouble.” You gave Spider a death stare, at his seemingly unending recklessness.

“Call it in, now. I’m not going to repeat myself again.”

“You sound like dad.”

Neteyam’s mood has been in a rapid decline over the last few days. He hasn’t seen you since that night, clear to him you were doing anything in your power to avoid him. Instead of thinking of the potential demise of your relationship and how that put his fucking heart through the meat grinder, he instead decided to bury himself in work and training, and try to spend some time with his parents that he very rarely seemed to talk to anymore outside of war-talk. His childhood was long gone, he realises - where he was just a kid, surrounded by so much love it was almost suffocating, full of laughter and joy, full of his dad’s Earth stories and his mum’s impressions, full of hope and light. His parents were now soldiers, generals, commanders, and he was just a subordinate, a corporal trying to help out in the best way he knew how. There were definitely perks to being an adult, and Neteyam could list just about all of them staring in between your legs, but there were times, such as now, that he wishes his parents would be his parents again, and he could just be a little kid again, spoiled, cherished and unencumbered by life’s tragedies.

The three of them were high in the Hallelujah mountains, returning from a full day of scouting and tracking, when Lo’ak’s voice through the radio interrupted his train of thought.

“Devil Dog, Devil Dog, this is Eagle Eye, over.”

“Eagle Eye, send your traffic.”

“I got eyes on some guys. They look like Avatars, but they’re in full camo and carrying ARs. There’s six of them, over.”

“What’s your post?”

“Um... We’re at the old shack.”

“Who’s we?”

“Me, Spider, Kiri…Quickscope…and Tuk.”

Neteyam’s knees felt like they were buckling underneath him. He was dizzy, and he felt Seze’s flight becoming unsteady as his mind was collapsing into a puddle of mush. Lo’ak… Spider… Kiri… Tuk… and you. His whole world. He could lose everything in a second. What the fuck were all of you doing in the forest? Why the fuck were all of you in the one place that was strictly forbidden? If it was Lo’ak and Spider he could maybe understand the stupidity, but you? The thought that you went along with this, with Tuk next to you boiled his blood - it was easier to be angry than to admit how immeasurably scared he actually was.

“Son, you listen to me very carefully. Pull back right now, do not make a sound, and get the hell out of there. Move. Copy?”

“Yes, sir, moving out.”

Neteyam’s entire body was lit up with pure adrenaline, coursing through his veins like ice water, sharpening his senses. He had to save you. All of you. He had to do something.

“Dad. I know a quick way.” He didn’t stop to see if his parents were following, but he heard his mother letting out a war cry behind him, so he assumed they were. He had to save you. He couldn’t lose you again.

“You’re gonna be in so much trouble.” You heard Kiri whispering to her brother.

“Kiri, stop. This is not the time.” You heard yourself say. You were gonna kill Lo’ak yourself, but right now, you just had to focus on getting out of here. Getting them out of here.

You saw Tuk run ahead and you wanted to tell her to slow down, but she spoke before you. “It’s almost eclipse, come on!!”

Out from the bushes came Avatars, so many of them they outnumbered you at least 2 to 1. A woman grabbed Tuk, holding her tightly and you hissed aggressively and pulled out your knife from its sheath, but you knew immediately it would do very little against so many military people carrying fucking machine guns that were pointed at your face, and worse, at the faces of the people you loved.

You heard the Avatars screaming at you, telling you all to put down your weapons, and you did, knowing there was no other choice. This wasn’t a battle you could win, this wasn’t even a battle you could start. You saw Lo’ak throw his bow on the ground, but Spider was unrelenting.

“Drop it. Drop it.” Lo’ak warned Spider in Na’vi, and you thanked your lucky star that he was being at least a tiny bit reasonable.

You were pulled forcefully by someone tugging you by your hair and pinning your arms together, holding them tightly, mirroring what was happening to your siblings around you. Tuk was crying, and your heart tugged at the sound, desperate to help her, a deep maternal instinct rising within you, and you felt rage and adrenaline fill your body.

A few more Avatars made their way to the group. One of them looked a little older, and by the way all the others shifted towards him subconsciously, you reckoned he was the leader. Two men were following him closely, and a profound, unsettling feeling overcame you. They looked…familiar. The first one was bald. The second one had wavy hair and looked slightly different than all the others. He looked…dignified. Like he didn’t quite belong. Like his clothes were unbecoming on his body. You somehow felt you knew this man, and when you looked next to him at the first guy and his tattoo, at the girl holding Kiri… when you looked closely at all of them, your body jerked violently and your mouth fell agape.

It couldn’t be… no…

Quaritch. Weinfleet. Pike.

…Your dad…

You didn’t understand what you were feeling at the moment, a mix that you have never experienced before, but at the forefront was gaping confusion and horror, shock and fear, and deep within you, maybe even a little bit of excitement. Could that actually be your dad? How is that possible? You buried his bones, you saw Weinfleet’s skeleton in the forest, you just saw Quaritch’s at the Shack. How could this be?

You saw Weinfleet stalk towards you and he took a hold of your hand and forcefully brought it up. “Colonel, check it out. Four fingers. We’ve got a half-breed.”

They thought you were Na’vi. Good. They realised you were born with Avatar blood, so you were most likely Jake’s. That made you valuable to them. Bad. The man behind you was pulling on your queue to lift your chin up so Quaritch can look at you properly. They were pulling on your arm and you felt pain all over, that was overshadowed by so many other emotions flooding your being. He inspected you shortly, and then moved on to Kiri and Lo’ak.

“Show me your fingers.” Lo’ak brought both his hands up and flipped him off. You would laugh if your body could still produce any ounce of serotonin.

You saw Quaritch smile crudely, eyeing Lo’ak up and down. “You’re his, aren’t you?” He continued smiling as Lo’ak hissed at him and took him by his hair, pulling him towards his eye level.

“Where is he?”

“Sorry, I don’t speak English…with assholes.”

“Where is your father?” His accent was thick, and he butchered the words and pronunciation, but there was no mistaking what he wanted. Jake. So this is what it was all about. Even after 19 years, the RDA was willing to spend hundreds of millions of dollars in order to eliminate the Olo’eyktan. It was a good investment, you thought, considering there was only so much the humans can do with Jake in the picture. You wondered what they were willing to do to get to him. Would they kill you off, one by one? Would your dad kill you to get to Jake?

Lo’ak said nothing, only hissing in pain when the man kept tugging at his queue aggressively. You heard wails all around you coming from Kiri and Tuk, but you were focused on only one thing. Figuring out an escape route. You knew Neytiri and Jake were on their way, since Lo’ak alerted them to your location. It was only a matter of time before they arrived. Eclipse was also only about 10 more minutes away, so you would have the cover of darkness soon, which was an advantage to you, but not to them. Lucky for you, they tied your hands in front of you, which means you could still use them. You probed the strength of the hand ties, and realised quickly you weren’t getting out of them without a knife. The man holding you was keeping you close to his body. You recoiled in disgust, but tried to shimmy your body into him to feel for any possible things you could use. He was wearing an army vest. You felt grenades and ammo poking you in the back. You moved subtly a bit more, making it seem like the position was just uncomfortable, and felt a military knife holder in your lower back. Bingo.

Quaritch took out a knife, and threatened Lo’ak with it, but soon moved along the line to Kiri. There was screaming coming from all the boys, but Spider’s voice broke through and Quaritch turned around to face him. It must be a weird sight to see, a human amongst the Na’vi, clearly young enough to have been raised here. You wondered if Spider connected the dots, if he figured out who the man standing if front of him was. You gave silent thanks to your mum and the scientists for the Avatar again.

“What’s your name, kid?”

“Spider… Socorro.”

Quaritch’s face changed, the sly smirk faltered and his expression was shocked, when it dawned on him the kid standing in front of him was his son.

Neteyam and his parents landed as eclipse set in, enveloping the nature in bioluminescent glow. It would be beautiful if he wasn’t on the edge of losing his goddamn mind. He grabbed his bow and patted Seze before he made his way towards the shack. His dad turned around and put a hand in front of him. Neteyam’s nose flared at the words he knew were coming.

“No, no. You stay with the ikran.”

“No.”

“Neteyam…” his mother was trying to defuse the situation the best way she knew how.

“I’m not going to say it again.”

“You are not leaving me behind. I am older than mum was when the Sky People attacked the first time. My mate is out there. My brothers and sisters. I am coming.”

Neteyam saw his dad looking at him intently, thinking about it for a while. Eventually, he relents and nods curtly.

“You stay behind, do you read me, boy? Your mother and I will go first, so they think it’s just two of us. You stand and attack from behind when the opportunity arises.”

Neteyam agreed, although still disappointed. It was better than nothing.

“Let’s go.”

After splitting from his parents, Neteyam made his way quietly through the forest to a high point by which he could spot you and his siblings. He gasped silently and he could feel his heart in his throat, making him pant in shallow breaths, that were leaving him dizzy and disoriented. So many Avatars, all in military clothing, all carrying heavy guns, all holding at knifepoint the people he loved most in the world. He saw you and his breath stopped altogether, wet hair and a concerned, but focused expression on your face. Your eyes were scanning all of them, scanning the forest, it’s almost like you could tell they were here, that he was here.

From far away, he heard his mum’s signature distress signal echoing through the forest. It was inconspicuous enough that to the undiscerning ears it probably sounded like a bird or a forest animal, but Neteyam saw all of your ears perk and your heads snapping in the direction it came from. Neteyam knew you were all trained for this, trained for emergency situations, and he felt a tug of gratitude for his father’s military ways that will most likely save their lives tonight.

The unmistakable sound of Neytiri’s call brought relief that washed over you like the raindrops falling from the sky. You knew then the kids will be alright. You looked at Lo’ak and you nodded almost imperceptibly in the direction of the guy at your 12 o’clock who was facing you both and had a smoke bomb clearly displayed on his vest. He looked at it and nodded back, and you knew he understood. You got this.

With a loud thud that declared the beginning of the rescue mission, the man holding both Kiri and Spider was knocked to the ground, a green arrow sticking out of his forehead. The man holding you pushed you aside to get his gun, and without a second thought, you removed the knife from his holder and slit his throat. The blood went all over you, on your face and torso, but you didn’t care.

“LO’AK!” You screamed, and the boy released the pin from the smoke bomb, enveloping the whole area in green smoke.

You stabbed another man in the neck at the same time Lo’ak and Tuk bit the people holding them, and ran for the woods. Good.

You managed to run as well, trying to dodge the barrage of gunshots being released all around you, but you felt someone harshly pulling you backwards by your queue. You cried out, as pain dispersed from your spine all around you body, but the pull stopped when the woman who grabbed you got an arrow on the side of her head that came out the other side. The shot came from a different angle, and you knew that was Neteyam. You ran as soon as you were released, making sure to take the machine gun she was carrying in her hand before you sprinted to a tree that could provide cover.

You took a few deep breaths to calm yourself, and poked your head out so you could shoot whoever was still alive. You realised from the angle you were at, you had a perfect shot…that would kill your dad. Was this man even your dad? Would sparing his life for your own twisted desperation for answers and closure cost your new family theirs? Your finger went to the trigger, putting slight pressure on it. Just a little more pressure, and it would be over. Tears welled in your eyes and with a silent curse and gasped breaths, you lowered your gun and got back undercover.

“Is that you, Mrs. Sully? I recognise your calling card.”

“Why don’t you come on out, Mrs. Sully? You and I, we’ve got some…unfinished business.”

You saw the kids running in the distance, and you felt so much safer, so much gratitude in knowing they were going to be okay. That’s all that mattered in this moment, that Tuk, and Kiri, and Lo’ak and Spider make it back home in one piece.

“DEMON! I will kill you as many times as I have to.” Neytiri’s voice sent shivers down your spine, so much hatred, so much intensity behind it.

“Guess you and the corporal got pretty busy, haven’t you? Got yourself a whole litter of half-breeds.”

You saw the reflection of the gun in the corner of your eye before you had a chance to process it, and you heard a man scream “Na’vi!”, followed by the unmistakable sound of shots being fired where you stood. You saw the bullets like in slow motion, and you knew then you were done for. You were just happy everyone else was going to make it. You were happy Neteyam was going to make it. You closed your eyes in anticipation of the pain, but the pain you expected never came. Instead, you were pushed to the ground and another type of pain, the pain the came with scratches all over your body and the wind getting knocked out you, brought you back to reality and you registered Neteyam’s unmistakable pheromones flooding your entire being.

“MOVE! GO, GO, GO!” He helped you to your feet and you both ran as fast as your feet could possibly carry you. You made it to a tree where you found Jake, and his presence calmed your thoughts and focused them - that was the effect he had on people, this great man and leader that you knew you would follow anywhere without question.

He touched you arm and spoke to both of you.

“Are you okay?” You and Neteyam nodded quickly.

“You ready? You ready?!” You saw him get out of cover and shoot, and you both sprinted for the hills, manoeuvring your way through thick shrubbery and tree roots, knowing that you wouldn’t have been able to do this even a few months ago, this level of athleticism and acrobatics that came naturally only to true Na’vi.

You heard a big explosion behind you and you saw part of a big web of roots get destroyed as a result, and Spider falling a few meters beneath it. You and Neteyam were preparing to run back, but Jake stopped you, placing a firm hand in front of your bodies. You saw Neytiri picking Kiri up forcefully and running with her towards your direction, as the girl was looking back to where Spider was.

Lo’ak and Tuk made it to your location as well, and you saw Jake kneel next to Tuk and hold her tightly in his arms as she cried, the weight of all you have all survived settling in all your bones. You hugged Neytiri like you never have before as you both cried, letting it all out, all the relief and fear and shock and happiness that you all made it out alive.

“THANK YOU, GREAT MOTHER! THANK YOU!”

Lo’ak’s voice echoed through the forest. “Where’s Spider?”

You looked at your sister, whose eyes looked like endless pools of sadness. “They took him! They took him!”

There were no words spoken as you all made your way back to camp. There were no words for what just happened. The adrenaline slowly depleted its resources in Neteyam’s body, leaving him in shambles, scrambling to figure out where to go from here. What were the next steps? Your back was flush against his chest, and the feeling of your skin on his, of your warmth emanating from your body, of your hand wrapped around his arm was the only thing that kept him from breaking down into a million pieces. You were here, his siblings were here. His thoughts flashed to Spider, and he knew he couldn’t think about it too much without tears welling in his eyes. He wasn’t close to Spider, definitely not nearly as close as the rest of his siblings, but he was family. Seze landed softly on the ground by the entrance to the camp. It was late, so most people were out for the night. You didn’t let go of him, not for one second, and he was so happy to see you again, so happy to feel you again, so sad it had to be under these circumstances. His family slowly made their way to the tent, but Neteyam felt you pull him back, urging him to let them go ahead without you.

He saw you properly for the first time since the whole ordeal. You had mud all over you, but that was nothing compared to the blood covering your entire face and chest. Tears were falling down your cheeks and neck, and his hands immediately found your face, just as his lips found yours. It was soft in the beginning, tentative, like a flower blooming in the morning. But as you came to terms with everything that transpired, everything you went through, everything you could have lost, it shifted, it became desperate and needy, full of breathy moans and wandering hands. He almost lost you.. again.

“Let’s go, please. I can’t be here.” Without any words, you got on Neyn and flew to your secret place. Neteyam’s hand was settled on your heart, that was thumping loudly, mirroring his own. You arrived quickly, the cave only a short distance away.

You ran, without looking at Neteyam and dove straight into the lake, not knowing for sure whether you wanted to reemerge, craving the numbness that came with drowning, craving it like the air that your was body was begging for. You felt the ripples in the water as Neteyam joined you, and when he touched you, your whole body lit ablaze, and the craving changed, as it always did when he was around. You missed him, so so much, and your fight and your need for space felt so silly now, so unnecessary in light of everything that you stood to lose at any moment. Any moment not spent in his presence, in his arms was wasted time, time you didn’t have.

You came up for air, panting from your need for him settled deep within you, so that he could fill the gaping hole that just opened in your soul. He looked at your intensely, and you knew he felt the same, so you kissed him, pouring all your desires into it, feeling him do same to you.

“I need you so badly, Atan. I have missed you so much.”

“Then take me, Neteyam. I’m yours.”

You exited the water and lead him to the mossy grass outside of the cave, where the nature was shining brightly and the wind warmed your skin. You pushed him onto the ground, and straddled him, looking deep in his eyes as you took off your beaded top and unhooked his cummerbund from around his abdomen. He rose from where he was laying on the ground and started planting kisses down your neck and collarbone, making his way down. You moaned at the feeling, and threw your head back, giving him access to you, begging silently for him to never stop. HIs mouth found one of your breasts that he kissed, softly in the beginning before his tongue flickered over your nipple. You started grinding on him, cursing yourself for not removing both your loincloths before. His mouth moved to your other breast, whilst his hands went on to undo your loincloth, that he removed from you and threw to the side. He stopped to undo his own, and you thanked the great mother for whatever unspoken connection you two have always shared.

“I need to feel you, my love. All of you.” His hand went to his queue that he brought forth, and you were so grateful at the sight, aching for the union that will always bind you together, for life.

You gasped loudly at the bond, overwhelmed with the outpouring of emotions emanating from Neteyam. So much pain, and fear and sadness, and so much love, and relief and gratitude all inundating your mind and soul, all making you breathless and dizzy. You both looked in each other’s eyes, both overcome with each other’s minds, both desperately in need of each other’s bodies.

One of his hands resumed his slow torture on your breast while the other wrapped around your throat, until the asphyxiation lead to euphoria you felt deep between your legs, slick dripping all over Neteyam’s hard-on that you were grinding against. His hands let go and the rush of oxygen to your brain made you moan in pleasure, and increase the speed at which you were getting yourself off on his cock. His mouth was all over you, leaving marks that you knew would be seen by everyone in the village tomorrow, but you couldn’t care less. The whole world could burn around you at this point and you wouldn’t care, because there was nothing else. Nothing outside of this, of him, of this feeling.

His hands went to your ass, pushing you deeper on him, urging you to go faster, helping you to your release.

“Fuck, I love it when you fuck yourself on my cock.”

You moaned loudly at his words, feeling your orgasm building up in your core. “That’s right. Come for me, baby girl.”

You threw your head back and rode out your orgasm with his hands on your ass still moving your now puffy and sensitive clit roughly on him.

“You are so beautiful. So fucking beautiful.”

Dazed, you felt yourself being picked up and placed on the ground, your back loving the feel of the wet grass touching your skin. His face was inches from yours, and he lowered it to kiss you, and it was so unlike everything else around you, so tender and soft, so needy and gentle.

“I love you so much. I am so happy you are here.” You cried out and brought him back onto you, kissing him like your life depended on it, which to be honest, you think it did. You felt his dick twitching against your inner thigh and moaned, desperate to feel him deep in your, desperate to be filled.

“Fuck, please.”

He smiles into the kiss, and reached down to line his cock to your folds, teasing your entrance mercilessly.

“Neteyam…” you mewled, not in the mood to be teased, not tonight.

He didn’t need to be told twice, as he pushed in slowly, letting you adjust to his girth, that always took you by surprise, that always stretched you out deliciously. He moaned as he filled you fully, and stopped to enjoy the way you squeezed him, the way you took him in like you wouldn’t ever let him go, your pussy the only prison he wouldn’t mind being held prisoner in forever.

“Fuck, Atan. You’re taking me so well, baby. Always so well, I could get lost in this pussy.”

You were so wet your slick was dripping all over him and down his balls, making it so easy for him to move in an out of you, at a slow, agonising pace. Your hands made their way to his back, hard and muscular, and you dug your nails in it roughly, scratching him as he increased his pace, fucking into you roughly and ruthlessly, making of you a whimpering mess. Your legs wrapped around him to grant him better access, to bring him in deeper, always deeper, until he was hitting a spot you could feel in your whole body, inundating your every cell, your every sense.

“I can feel you squeezing my dick, Atan. I want to hear you coming on my cock, I want to feel you taking my cum like a good girl.”

Your orgasm hit you like a lightning strike, overcharging your every nerve ending until you were so drained you could only see white, and you felt Neteyam’s load fill you to the brim, overflowing around you. Blissfully spent, his head fell on the crook of your neck, and you stood like that, listening to each other’s heartbeats and shallow breaths.

You laughed quietly thinking this was probably the most tame sex of your life, and how even when you were trying to be tempered and soft, you ended up like this, moaning and mewling like your life depended on it. This is what he did to you, what he’ll always be able to coax out of you.

“It’s good to hear you laugh again. So I take it you forgive me?” He rolled from on top of you, and pulled you on from the ground so you can be face to face, as he intently listened to every sound that came out of your mouth. Your queues were still attached, so you could feel the anxiety building in his system. You hoped your lack thereof would put his mind to ease a little.

“Mm, I don’t know if I forgive you, but I have realised something. Actually, I realised two things. First, today, walking through the forest with the kids, I realised that you were right. There’s no other choice, but to follow them to the ends of the world and hope you can at least help them not fall off the edge. And if you have to fall instead, that’s fine as long as they are safe. So I think I owe you an apology.

Secondly, I realised I can’t change who you are, and I don’t want to. I love you. I love how kind and patient and compassionate you are. I love that you love your family, your baby brother so much that his safety comes first in your mind. You love fully, and give everything to the people you love, and that is what makes you a great brother and a great son…a great mate. It’s what will make you the best Olo’eyktan this clan has ever seen… it’s what will make you the best dad. So I can’t change that about you.

But what I can do is make sure I will always be around. I’ll always be next to you, and behind you and in front of you, and I’ll always have your back. So if anything like that ever happens again, I will protect you. And if I can’t protect you, I will heal you. I will stitch your wounds, and mend your broken bones, because putting pieces back together is what I do best, anyway. I won’t have to be scared anymore, cause I’ll just always be there for you. Deal?”

“Deal.” He said as he kissed you tenderly, and you felt the salty taste of his tears on your lips.

You made your way back a couple of hours later, and were shocked to discover the Sullys were still awake. You silently stepped towards the tent where Lo’ak, Kiri and Tuk were hiding, listening in to their parents’ shouted conversation.Kiri motioned for you to come and brought her hand to her lips, urging you to be quiet.

“This thing, this Quaritch, whatever he is, is going to walk right into here, right under Eywa’s nose.”

“I cannot, you cannot ask this. I cannot leave my people. I will not.”

“He’s hunting us, he’s targeting out family.”

“You cannot ask this!” Neytiri was furious, her screams loud and forlorn.“The children, everything they’ve ever known, the forest! THIS IS OUR HOME!”

“He had our children. He had them under his knife.” Jake’s voice was hoarse and pleading, hushed tones hiding the deep hopelessness echoed in his words.

“My father gave me this bow as he lay dying, and he said ‘Protect the people’. You’re Toruk Makto!”

“This will protect the people!”Jake’s voice was raised now, no longer poised, no longer holding back. “Quaritch has Spider, and that kid knows EVERYTHING! He knows our whole operation. He could bring them right in here.”

You felt annoyed at how quick Jake was to assume Spider would betray this family, the only family he’s ever known. Spider was a loud mouth, and he was just as reckless as Lo’ak, but he had a good heart. A strong heart. He is loyal and loves the Sullys and this clan more than he loves his own life, and you thought Jake knew that.

“If the people harbour us, they will die. Do you understand?”

“Look, I’ve got nothing. I’ve got no plan. But I can protect this family. That I can do. And I do know one thing. Wherever we go, this family is our fortress.”

So many thoughts engulfed your mind, so many emotions flooded your being, one more extreme and agonising than the next, but almost like a joke brought about by the universe, the only thing that rang supreme was the realisation the Tiongli was going to get to be Tsa’hik after all.

Taglist (thank you ily x) @changing7 @erenjaegerwifee @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @winchestertitties @puffb4ll @rebeccao03 @ultimatebluff @cottoncandy23 @zaddyneteyamlovergirl @n3t3y4msm4t3 @loquatious-josephi-krakousky

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bengiyo · 4 months

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Top 5 BL parent-child relationships?

I actually don't think we had a ton of parents this year, but some of them were good!

Gim and Gun in My School President

When I tell you I ugly cried when they were singing Let Me Tell You at Hot Wave and I thought that might be the last thing she ever saw of her son: was him being brave on stage and doing what he loved even as he worried about her. I'm literally tearing up right now just thinking about it. She showed up as soon as her son and his friends were in trouble and intimidated people into letting them go. The last lesson she tried to teach her son was to cherish the people who love you. I love her so much.

Photjanee and Tinn's Father in My School President

It takes a lot to recognize that you may have messed up with your kid, and even more to not interfere in their affairs when you're worried. She recognized that something she had done made her loving son not trust her with something important about himself, and she turned to her husband to figure that out. Then, when the crisis moment came and someone came for her son, she put herself right in front of the opposition and said "No, don't you ever touch my son ever again." She stood in the crowd and said, "Scream louder," for his first love. This dad always has his son's back, and will do the dad thing of nudging the stern mom to relent and let them have a little fun because he trusts his son.

Jim and Li Ming in Moonlight Chicken

The hardest part about being an uncle who becomes a father is it's not something you planned. In Jim's case, he also lost his partner. Despite his poverty and his grief, Jim still gave Li Ming all of his best qualities. Li Ming is kind and thoughtful. He is righteous and stubborn. He values community. Nowhere else in this genre have we ever seen a father and son expressed like them. They are one of the most important things Aof has ever given us, and it doesn't surprise me that this is what we got out of his original work.

Shiro and His Parents in What Did You Eat Yesterday? 2

When Shiro told his father that his friend borrowed the character from his name and so the child is named Goro like him. He went on to say that he always regretted that he couldn't give them grandkids, but feels like he's done right by them by passing on what he learned from them, you could see something finally click between all of them and give them peace. Shiro's parents have not handled his queerness gracefully, and I've loved the slow work between all of them to do better by each other. Coming out of the painful barrier they put between them and Kenji in the movie, I like how much of this season was Shiro's parents undoing that.

Ueda Koji in Our Dining Table

This man lost his wife and now caring for a very young son with the help of his depressed adult son. No matter the grief he's carrying, he's continued to maintain his profession and provide for his sons. When he sees a kind stranger reignite his own son, he does everything he can to support that relationship, including physically throwing his own son out of the house to go reconcile. He gave Yutaka the kindest advice I've ever seen about going into love with your heart open and your mind clear, knowing that you will probably lose that love at some point. Incredible father figure of the year.

Ask Me Top 5 BL 2023 Anything

Wow, congratulations, anon. You are the first person to make me cry as I answered all of these questions.

#answered #best of bl 2023 #our dining table #my school president #moonlight chicken #what did you eat yesterday?#kinou nani tabeta #bokura no shokutaku

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bibliophilesince2003 · 7 days

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Episode 15 (Star Wars: The Bad Batch) spoilers and general reflection. Do not read if you don't want to be spoiled, because I will be going into depth. This finale, y'all. Wow...

I can't even put into words what I'm feeling right now. I'm so glad it ended up being almost an hour long. The Bad Batch producers weren't kidding when they said the end is bittersweet.

When the intro popped up, I noticed the words "Bad Batch" were completely void of color. I'm not going to lie, I got a little choked up at the sight of that. Here's the thing... I never cry over movies/shows. Obviously, I'm still human. I may sit in stunned silence, I may give a strangled cry or talk as if the characters can understand me, and I have been on the verge of tears for a few shows in the past. At the end of the finale, though - when Omega leaned her head against Hunter's arm, Wrecker and Crosshair joined them underneath the tree, and the screen slowly faded to black - well, let's just say my expressions were very pained and my eyes watery. For me, that's a big deal. It hit me that we've made it the end... the very end.

I did not watch The Clone Wars (animated series) when it first came out, but my sister and I had watched the entire show a few times over before Bad Batch came out for the first time. When you're with a show that long, you kind of have to get slightly emotional. Inwardly, if nothing else.

A lot of people may not understand because the show is in fact animated and not real. As a writer and film enthusiast, however, I found the plot and dedication from the voice actors very impressive. Very little movies/shows have impressed me recently.

Besides that, Hunter was very relatable for me. I'm a military brat. I am very used to a "chaotic" life. Home is wherever my family and I have gone. Home is being with them. Our strong bond is what kept us sane in the midst of chaos, and it's difficult to explain. Seeing the Bad Batch have a life like that just made sense to me. Additionally, I would do anything for my family. I am very protective of my younger siblings. Sometimes they look up to me and expect me to make the final call; it's very daunting if you're afraid of making the wrong choice.

Eventually, though, everyone has to settle. Even the Bad Batch, after a very chaotic, stressful life.

I didn't expect to see an adult Hunter and older Omega. I love that she wants to be a rebel pilot! For one thing, it makes sense. I also love that she's still so close to her brothers. Hunter lets her go, but he still pictures her as his kid, in a way.

I don't want Tech to be gone, but I'm willing to accept it. I was delusional until the end, and I hope many of you were spared that stress. It felt like he had died again. And Crosshair without a hand? If Echo can manage, so can he, but they were really willing to go to extreme measures to get Omega back. I think him struggling to pull away made it so much worse; the intensity of this finale had me on the edge of my seat.

Well, fellow fans, I'm still processing the finale as I write. I don't think I'll ever recover, but I'll treasure the memories. Clone force 99, thank you for being both comfort characters and characters to learn from. And Bad Batch producers, a round of applause for all the hard work you've done. Consider my watery eyes the highest honor I could bestow upon you.

#tbb #the bad batch #bad batch #star wars #star wars the bad batch #tbb spoilers #tbb hunter #tbb wrecker #tbb echo #tbb crosshair #tbb tech #tbb omega #bad batch season 3 #bad batch finale

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gurenmonster · 7 days

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I keep thinking about Knuckles possibly having Iblis sealed inside him in the movie-verse and how they could work with this to bring Silver for a posible 4th and final movie?

Hear me out:

First of all, if Knuckles does literally posses the Flames of Disaster (Iblis is sealed inside him), then in the movies Sonic can very much still be the Trigger. Think about it, the reason why Sonic is deemed the Trigger in 06 is because his death causes Elise to cry, which releases Iblis.

The concept of Sonic being the Trigger can be boiled down to one specific aspect: someone close to Sonic has Iblis sealed inside them, and Sonic's actions, intentional or not, causes them to release it.

So, if this were to be adapted to the movies, then you have Knuckles: someone close to Sonic who has (presumably) Iblis sealed inside of him.

In 06, Elise can't cry, or else Iblis would be released. Knuckles however is an interesting case because it seems he has more control over the Flames, using them in battle to add onto his power. This made me think that maybe, if he's pushed to the edge enough, forced to use too much of the Flames in battle, then maybe that could eventually release Iblis? Or, knowing how hot headed Knuckles can be (even though movie Knux is definitely less hot headed than game Knux), maybe all Sonic has to do is push him just enough to make him literally burst in rage. (though to me this isn't as likely, since I don't believe Sonic would ever push anyone's buttons hard enough to cause something like that)

Either way, we got all the necessary things to make a certain time traveler worried enough to jump back in time to stop that from happening.

The Knuckles Backstory Rock Opera sequence has caused a lot of discussion. I personally believe that it was important, in a way, and not just a silly way to tell a story we already know.

Think about it: why would they go through all that trouble of making puppets and sets, plan choreography and costumes, just to retell a story we all already know?

Yes, you could argue it's most likely for the people who just walked into the show not knowing a whole lot about Knuckles. But even then, the addition of Iblis is simultaneously very random and specific, that I feel like all that was missing was a sign saying "Hey pay attention now! We added this new bit to Knuckles's backstory!"

They could've picked a random boss from any game, but they chose Iblis... a creature with A LOT of story behind it. A creature from a VERY specific and memorable game in this franchise. Mostly everyone who watched it knew what it was, we all collectively reacted to it. I seriously don't think this was something they randomly decided to add just to make a reference...

Before this, I was happy with the idea of having the 3rd movie be the last. But if they manage to shape this whole Knuckles-Iblis thing and fit it to make a movie version of 06's story, then I can maybe see a decent 4th and last movie in the future. I feel like it would be nice to end the movies with the past-present-future hedgehog trio.

Anyways! If you read all this then wow, thanks? I'm just a big Silver and Knuckles fan lol

#knuckles the echidna #movie knuckles #knuckles series #knuckles show #sonic #sonic movie #knuckles series spoilers #knuckles spoilers #also excuse any awkward phrasing English is not my first language and when i get to long rants like this is even worse lol #g chat

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cemeterygirlrocks · 9 months

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JUST LET ME SHOW YOU | CHARLIE WALKER

Summary; You’re going to show Charlie just how special he is.

Contents; P in V, slightly degrading words, praise, slight mommy/momma kink, unprotected sex, handcuffs used, reader uses she/her pronouns, baby/baby boy used by reader a ton, Charlie has a slight pain kink, overstimulation, slightly mean reader, black girl reader.

Charlie was feeling down, Y/n was just such a pretty girl. The way her hair flows, her pretty white teeth flashing anybody who made her giggle.

Her soft, light brown skin. It felt like silk against his fingertips. Oh, how bad he loved Y/n.

He didn’t know why she liked him, he was so basic, an insane nerd, just a boy weirdly obsessed with horror movies. Although thats the exact reason why she was so obsessed with Charlie.

The boy was just so different from what she was used to. Men always wanted her to submit, even though that’s not how she saw fit. She liked seeing them squirm, pout, beg. It made that familiar feeling pool in the pit of her stomach.

Y/n had never admitted it though, but he knew. Charlie always knew what she wanted, it’s like he could read her mind.

Both of them were sitting down on the couch in Charlie’s living room. She was straddling him, while the boy softly sobbed in her chest.

“Baby, Shh. Please tell me what’s wrong.” Her soft words only helped him a little bit, the girl knew she was wrong, but Y/n couldn’t help but feel a heartbeat as she watched him cry.

Looking back up at her with teary eyes, he shuffled while his hands stayed tight on her waist.

Y/n dressed up to see her boyfriend, she almost always did. Soft black curls in her hair, a white cropped tank top, and an oh so tiny mini skirt.

Underneath, a matching set was shown. It was Charlie’s favourite color on her, soft blue. He could see it through his glazed over eyes, it wasn’t his fault when his dick jumped.

Tilting his head up by his chin when he shamelessly looked down, her brows furrowed, “You gone tell me baby? Or am I going to have to make you?” Her voice came out condescending, a fake pout landing on her face.

He whined, the poor boy whined, “Please.” Raising a brow she huffed, “Please what Charlie?” Hating when she called him Charlie, he huffed.

“I.. I just don’t know why you like me. You know you could have anybody, but you chose me. It just doesn’t seem real.” She knew he was gonna keep talking so she hushed him up.

Y/n pulled her shirt off, it was slow but fast. The girl knew the minute he saw her lift a bit of her clothing off his eyes would widen, biting down on his lip.

Clicking her tongue, she frowned, “Little Charlie, I know I could have anybody. The thing is, I only want you.” Y/n could feel his dick twitch below his jeans, the bulge pressing against her clothed cunt.

“Y-You do?” He sighed, trying to hold in his whimpers. His girlfriend nodded her head sweetly, but there was a hint of teasing in her actions.

“Of course I do baby! You’re just so… wow. I love you baby, you know I do. You also know how upset you make me when you doubt me. Don’t you charchar?”

Charlie nodded, licking his lips that ran dry, “Words make me happy baby, you know this.”

“I know, m’sorry.” Patting his cheek twice, she smiled. That pretty little smile that made his stomach turn. His eyes never came up to meet hers, stuck on the blue laid out covering her chest.

“Can you take it off? Please.” She knew what he was talking about, oh but how cute is he when he begs.

“Take what off? So vague baby boy.” The way his grip tightened on her waist, she knew her baby was getting needy.

Every time he tried to kiss her she moved her face, only adding on to how bad he wanted his momma.

“Please take your bra off mommy, I won’t doubt you ever again.” Giggling, she leaned in cutting the gap off between the two.

They were made for each other, Charlie loved the way she tasted. Y/n smirked into the kiss when he opened his mouth for her, letting her tongue explore.

When she pulled away for air, she didn’t think before biting his lip while pulling away. Softly chuckling when her poor baby whines loudly.

“Y/n please, p-please.” The way he looked up at her with those sad eyes, he was so cute.

His dried tears, with his plump pink lips.

“Only cause I want to.” She unclipped her bra strap, letting it fall before tossing it beside them.

He could feel himself get close, the familiar feeling in his stomach, the way he could almost see white.

“I’ma cum, can I cum? Oh fuck, please please.”

Y/n guided his mouth towards her nipple, letting out a sigh when he immediately got to work. Licking, sucking, softly biting.

“I just love your mouth baby, nobody else makes me feel the way you do. You’re so good to me.” He didn’t hide the moans and whimpers falling from his lips.

The boy knew just how much she liked to hear him, every noise he made. They only got louder once she grounded her clothes cunt on his sensitive cock.

“No.. no, stop. I’m gonna cum too fast please, you know I’m gonna cum fast.” Even the tight grip on her hips didn’t stop how fast she moved, she threw her head back trying to keep the small amount of pleasure she got going.

The way he begged made her happy, could even make her cum. It just wasn’t enough, that was until she felt herself clench around nothing when a warm liquid made its way to the tip of his pants.

“Oh shit, Im sorry. Mommy please, I’m sorry.” She scoffed, she didn’t remember giving him permission.

He looked like he was fucked dumb, even though she barely touched him.

“Wow.. and here I was thinking you were good.”

He instantly felt like crying, he didn’t wanna disappoint her, “I-I can go another round, I’ll be good for you, please I can take it.”

His hands fell to his sides, sniffling quietly. So when a whine escaped from his lips Y/n looked up, her eyes lighting up when she saw her boy with tears in his eyes.

“Crying cause you’re a bad boy? Oh, I’m so sad Charlie.” Clicking her tongue she shuffled off his lap, standing up and looking down on her pretty boy.

Hair ruffled, cheeks coated with blush. Cute, yes he is.

“I’ll be good, c’mon mommy let me show you,” She pushed his hands down when he tried to lift them to pull her towards him, “No Charlie, let me show you.”

The boy below her nodded his head, he just wanted to be good. So when Y/n got on her knees and unbuckled his jeans, he pulled his hips up so she could take both his boxers and jeans off easier.

His tears have been dried, but they started pooling again when she scratched his thighs with her sharp french white tips.

“Mm, It hurts Y/n.” Her eyes met his as she massaged where she scratched. Her wetness growing when she saw how red the marks were.

“You want me to st—No! No, please please don’t stop, fuck please.” She ignored the interruption, a small smirk growing on her face.

Charlie loved the way her lips looked, all plump and juicy. He loved when she let him cum on her lips.

She could see right through him, exactly what he wanted, “You wanna nut again on mommy’s lips baby? Let her taste you?” He frantically nodded, his breathing growing heavier just thinking about.

“Mommy likes words baby, you know this.” Wetting his lips, Charlie felt like he was on cloud 9, “Yes fuck, please oh please.”

He hadn’t even been touched yet, already begging for relief. The boy hadn’t even gone soft, standing hard and tall for his only girl.

When her cold hand came in contact with his hot needy cock, he couldn’t help but feel more tears trailing down.

“Why you being such a crybaby?” Her question went unanswered as her hand only stroked his tip, “I-I can’t go much longer, so close.”

“That doesn’t answer my question CharChar, you want me to put back on my bra?”

“No! Don’t do that t-to me, I’m good. Aren’t I being good?” She couldn’t help but shake her head, trying to keep her laugh in but failing.

“S’mean.” Her ears perked up, “Mean? I’m mean? I’m touching you right now aren’t I? Tell me again whose mean.” The squeeze on his tip along with the way her nipples were coated in spit, his spit. It was all just too much, it and her words made his stomach turn.

“M’close, mm fuck I’m close. C-Cumming, oh shit I’m cumming!” Y/n milked him through his high, moving up closer to make his wish come true. She didn’t lick her lips until he came to, his eyes glazed over just watching her.

He tasted so good, everything about Charlie was so amazing, it was crazy he doubted the way she felt about him.

“You wanna kiss baby?” His whole body shuddered when she kept going. It hurt so good, he would truly do anything for her, anything she asked.

Nodding, he let her take control. She always took control, another thing she was obsessed with.

Y/n’s lips slightly moved more experienced then his, he was a good kisser. Although when she was stroking him at the pace she was, he couldn’t help but fall behind. Mumbling straight nothings against her lips.

Didn’t even wanna breathe, chasing the feeling of her plump lips against his, “W-Wait, shit.” She hummed, accepting his question.

“Wanna taste you again.” Y/n shrugged, her lips wrapping around his tip making him jolt up, almost putting his whole length in her mouth. She didn’t mind, loved when he was eager.

“Sorry, I’m sorry pretty.” Humming around his cock, a whine escaped from him, it was painful, but he liked it. Oh, how bad he loved it.

“I’m gonna cum again, can I in you? Wanna make mommy feel good.” She smiled, nodding. Y/n knew he would nut so quickly, but then she would just use him. Use him for her pleasure.

“Take your shirt off baby.” He wiped his tears away, doing exactly as she asked. Charlie was a pretty fraile boy, but Y/n liked it. How pale he was, how fast she could mark him.

She was gonna slowly pull off her skirt, but he stopped her. Looking up at her with his big blue eyes.

“Can you keep it on?” Y/n pulled her panties down, locking eyes with him, “Magic word?” He couldn’t speak when she got back to straddling him, ignoring his needy cock and kissing on his neck.

“C’mon, don’t be a pussy. What’s the magic word Charlie.” He hated when she called him Charlie, only did when she was upset.

“Please mommy, keep it on?” Her giggle made his heart beat so fast, she always laughed during sex. It made it not so awkward, just cause Charlie was always nervous.

She didn’t want him to be too loud, so when she brought him in for a kiss it was only to muffle the loud groan that left his lips when she slowly sunk down his length.

When she sat down at the bottom, she let him adjust to the feeling of her suffocating his worn out cock.

“C-Can you move now? Please move, I don’t know how long I’ll last. I’m sorry.”

“Mm, don’t be baby boy. I love you okay? Only you.”

He nodded his head fast, not able to reply. It got worse when she started moving, her movements being so fast and so meaningful.

“Fuck Fuck Fuck! Im so close.” He pouted, Charlie was always loud. Too loud sometimes, they got a knock on the front door once.

So when she covered his mouth with her hand, it wasn’t exactly to shut him up, just muffle it.

She kept her movements as she talked to him, he loved when she talked to him. Y/n didn’t need him to answer, just needed him to listen.

“I love you CharChar, only you. Nobody makes me, fuck. Nobody makes me as happy as you do. My forever boy, don’t need nobody else but you baby boy.” He whimpered against her hand, the feeling of hot tears seeping onto her palm.

A loud moan escaped her lips when she felt him shoot up into her, “You’re such a good boy, my good boy. I just, shit, I love you baby.”

Her climax was approaching and that’s when she went faster. Knowing he was probably crying due to the pain, she wanted to reach it as fast as possible.

“Ima cum, oh fuck Ima cum!” He twitched inside her when he heard her moan his name as her liquid coated his dick. Every time she clenched around him he sobbed, the pain and pleasure mixing.

“I love you too Y/n.”

xoxo, liah.

#charlie walker x reader #dom reader #sub character #dom!reader #sub!charlie #sub!charlie Walker #pain kink #black reader #black!reader #black!fem!reader #charlie walker #scream #black!femreader

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hebimoonlightwrites · 1 year

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HI HI!

If you don't mind could you write some headcanons about how will be having a marriage life with Yuto, Yohei and Ichiro? ( What can i say i'm a sucker for this clingey things and a simp for them =^=)

I hope you have a great day <3

Writer's corner: Hey, sweetheart! Of course I can do it! I'm so sorry for let you wait for so long, actually, since you requested me some weeks ago! Hope you don't mind I took some more time to answer your request!♥ Have a great day, you too, dear, and don't forget to let me know if there's something you want me to fix or change!♥ Enjoy~

mc's pronouns: THEY/THEM

Warnings: Fluff/ sfw

⭐𝐘𝐮𝐭𝐨, 𝐘𝐨𝐡𝐞𝐢, 𝐈𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐨⭐ 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬

⭐We all know about Yuto's secret so well!

⭐As a married man he would kinda struggle with keeping his other self under control, in my opinion

⭐As his actual self, Yuto would be the best husband ever!

⭐He would care about his s/o a lot, always checking if they're doing fine and taking care of them

⭐I can even see him cooking with them or helping them whenever they seem to need help!

⭐Plus I can picture him hanging out with them and buying them their favourite snacks!

⭐Just like we've seen him buying ice-cream, he wouldn't mind buying something to his s/o as well

⭐I'm 100% sure he would be that kind of husband holding his s/o's hand while walking around the streets

⭐Or that kind of man clumsily moving the chair in a restaurant to make mc sit down

⭐As his normal self, Yuto would be so adorable and clumsy, especially during the first days as a married man!

⭐He has always seemed a man in need of affection.. oh well.. to me, at least

⭐So I can see him also lying on the couch, hugging his s/o while maybe watching a movie together

⭐They could also watch some travel TV shows, since they're Yuto's favourite!

⭐Maybe while planning their next vacation, why not?

⭐"Wow.. uhm.. it looks really.. hot there, love.. Y-you sure you want to visit it next summer..?"

⭐Yuto would be so adorable while falling asleep between mc's arms

⭐They would be there cuddling and caressing his hair while he's sleeping peacefully, his cheeks blushed.

⭐In short I truly believe they would be a cute couple

⭐Even when his other self would take control, I'm sure Yuto wouldn't hurt mc

⭐He wouldn't make them feel pain, but... would be more possessive and jealous, especially around other people

⭐While being his usual self Yuto would act cute and adorable, caring and protective towards mc..

⭐While being his other self, on the other hand, Yuto would act possessive and jealous..

⭐He would stare at all the people who look at mc with a serious and piercing glance, as to say: "Whatcha' looking at?! They are mine!!"

⭐Other than that, by the way, I don't think he would hurt mc, but hurt whoever tries to harm mc!

⭐But, if I can tell, I think Yuto would make mc dream in bed-- (sorry, not sorry)

⭐"Huh..? Why are you crying?... L-Love.. Who made you cry..? Just tell me.. They will get what they deserve for causing troubles to you too...!! I promise..!"

⭐Yohei is always caring and such a father to Ryu and Shiki

⭐It's said by his routine that he takes care of our sweet Shiki and Ryu, cooking for them or preparing Shiki's lunch for school!

⭐So I can tell for sure that he'd be a great husband

⭐and even a good father in the future!

⭐Maybe the worst part of being his partner would be the fact that he's always busy with his job at Bar 4/7

⭐(like coming back home very late in the morning after a sleepless night)

⭐And when he's free, he sleeps because of tireness

⭐So I don't know how much of an intimacy there would be between him and his sweet s/o

⭐Maybe they wouldn't spend much time together in the first place because of that!

⭐Perhaps his s/o would also spend their time in Bar 4/7 with him!

⭐I don't know if they would work with him, but if so, I bet Yohei would team up with them

⭐They both would be the best couple, always doing their best at work together

⭐Mc would be also considered as a parent-figure by Shiki and Ryu

⭐While Yohei would be such a father figure, cooking for Ryu and Shiki

⭐Mc would be a parent for them too, maybe listening to them or spending time playing pretending to be a cat with Ryu and his cat!

⭐I can totally see mc listening to Shiki's vents or playing around with Ryu!

⭐And Yohei would look at them and smile blushing, while smoking

⭐I can even picture mc caring for him, especially since he's easy to lose his temper while drinking

⭐So I cannot hide the fact that I headcanon mc telling him: "Yohei, please.. be careful and do not exagerate with drinking.."

⭐And Yohei would sigh but in deep he would be touched by mc's cuteness

⭐Yohei is also a man of faith.. he changed after his time with Yakuza

⭐And somehow I cannot hide the fact that I headcanon him being clingy as well

⭐He wouldn't mind show his affection to mc, even in public, kissing their lips

⭐Or more romantically, kissing their forehead as to prove that he really cares about their well-being

⭐He would play piano for them..

⭐Like.. literally- Imagine them both sitting in front of a piano..

⭐- maybe mc doesn't even know how to play a piano-

⭐so Yohei's hands would rest on theirs, while guiding them through the piano keys.

⭐"You say you don't know how to play a piano.. but look at your hands, love!.. hehe... you're adorable.."

⭐As I said many times already in this blog, Ichiro would be the best husband ever!

⭐Like.. I really challenge you all to find another character from Hypmic who would be better than Ichiro!

⭐We're talking about a young man who literally stopped his own life in order to completely support and help his younger brothers!

⭐He's able to maintain economically not only his own needs, but also his brothers' and even their apartment!

⭐I mean... he's A CHAD---

⭐And he would keep caring for his brothers even after getting married!

⭐I mean.. Especially after getting married!

⭐So s/o has to accept the fact that their house would constantly host Jiro and Saburo!

⭐And as Yohei and his s/o would be "parents" to Ryu and Shiki..

⭐...the same would happen to Ichiro and his s/o with his brothers!

⭐S/o would have not only a caring and sweet husband who would also be there each time they need to be listened or to be comforted

⭐But also a selfishless man who would totally respect mc's time and needs of affection!

⭐Like, if mc doesn't like PDA, then he won't force them to PDA!

⭐Otherwise, he would be clingy and constantly hugging them, showing how much he supports and loves them

⭐I also can picture them both laying on the couch and watching some animes

⭐Maybe they would read some mangas or light novels together as well!

⭐Or they can adorably listening to music, sharing earphones!

⭐In short, they would look like those cute couples in horror movies (the ones who got killed first- oof xD sorry-)

⭐Also I headcanon Ichiro being the one cooking most of the times

⭐He'd cook with his s/o, it's true, but...

⭐ I cannot hide the fact that in my opinion he would keep an eye on them only to be sure that they won't get hurt!

⭐And if s/o didn't know how to cook and got hurt, then Ichiro would rush and grab some ice to put it on their hand:

⭐"Haha.. I told you to be careful with the pot, honey... You're clumsy, aren't you?... hehe- Are you okay now..? Keep this bag of ice on your hand.. I'll take care of the rest, okay?"

#paradox live #paralive #paradox live headcanon #paradox live headcanons #paralive headcanons #paralive headcanon #paradox live gokuluck #paralive gokuluck #gokuluck #yuto inukai #inukai yuto #paradox live yuto #hypnosis microphone #hypnosis mic #hypmic #hypmic headcanons #hypmic headcanon #hypmic ichiro #ichiro yamada

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zanyzensblog · 11 months

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Suletta Sunday omg holy crap!

My reactions More or less in order. But probably a jumbled mess. Spoilers ahead.

Ahem...

Oh wow we’re really just getting right into it.

Damn, Suletta really loves her mom and sis and doesn’t want them to become even bigger war criminals.

Damn it Laudna, you’re emitting peak incel women hating energy right here. Stop it.

Suletta is officially the best damn pilot of the show, maybe Eri was holding back a bit but still the fact she’s flying through all of Aerial’s bits is something I don’t think even Guel in a gundam could really do.

Somebody else is in the data storm? Oooo our elusive Notrette perhaps?

Oh crap, the Assembly league has a death star. A big one. Annnnd of course those bene gesserit looking bitches are not only saving their own skins but making a play to be the top dogs. Ugh.

Elan 5 a little bit of a badass.

*Gives gun to Belmira “I could never” (oh come you know you’ve basically killed scores) “I’m not giving a gun to a student.” (Damn it I almost like this guy even though he killed Nadim and basically started this whole mess)

“where did you get a gun?” “Who cares?” LOL

I always knew Haro’s were evil. Always knew it!

Damn Propera hitting them with the “You didn’t think I would change the password?” good villainess shit there.

Damn it Laudna, why do you suck sooo damn bad? Guel just kill his ass, the additional ptsd will be worth it.

Oh damn Guel is gonna die nooooooo not our boy!

*Sees flashback of when Guel met Laudna and Guel was immediately an accepting big brother happy to have a little bro.* Sniff, I’m not crying. Damn bro.

Felsi you goddamn miracle. MVP. Would have bet money one of the brothers was gonna die but nope, not if Felsi had any say in it. Attagirl!

Miorine calling out Prospera’s clear favoritism of Eri over Suletta.

Miorine remembering what I assume is a whole ass genome sequence she learned of yesterday that translates to an I love you from her mother to override Quiet Zero was absolutely baller and she’s got a galaxy brain if there ever was one.

Damn Bel, way to step up a bit.

Damn Elan5, nice shot.

Miorine basically telling Prospera “I’m marrying your daughter no matter what, we’re gonna be a family. So deal.” Happy Pride month indeed! Love to see it!

Oh crap, here comes the double cross from the bigwigs, they’re a firing the laser!

Eri noo!

Prospera’s mark? What’s going on there?

ERI NOOOOOO!!

Holy crap most of Aerial actually survived that? That Gundam really is built different. But did Eri still die? Is there anything left of her? If not, Prospera’s gonna utterly freaking lose it on somebody.

Closing thoughts Next episode is called the Final Episode? Huh, feels a little weird to title something that. I doubt this series is gonna get another season (Really wish it would, it’s done pretty damn solid storytelling for the amount going on and the small amount of episodes it has. Though still it definitely could have benefited from more episodes and a little more time to breathe and develop certain plots)

I mean hopefully maybe it’ll at least get a movie (Gundam 00 did it) or a spinoff at worst (freaking Gundam Seed had like 3 right?) So here’s hoping we get to see more of this Gundam timeline cause damn, they made a solid and fun anime with this one. Last episode I’m almost positive we’re gonna get Delling talking about what exactly happened to Notrette and why he made Quiet Zero (I’m still positive it’s a Gendo Ikari thing, I’ll eat a hat if I’m wrong.) and also, hopefully we’ll finally get to hear wedding bells!! Get the best dresses! Chuchu should be Miorine’s maid of honor and Guel should Suletta’s best man! Don’t @ me.

#gundam witch from mercury #gundam witch spoilers #g witch #suletta mercury #Prospera Mercury #miorine rembran #ericht samaya #Gundam Aerial

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cholatey · 5 months

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Honestly, sometimes it makes me confused why so many people decide to dye their hair weird colors. Growing up, I never really got the chance to be considered a person per se. I was a hyper-visible minority in a country where no one looked like me, and I sort of had to deal with the consequences of that my entire life. If you can imagine being a five-year-old biracial child in a train car with a bunch of Asian adults staring at you, and when you look back at them, they look down at their phones like they’re afraid of making eye contact with you. And just, day in and day out, that being your reality with you growing up with that as your baseline. I felt like a monster at times, I’d get angry, and I glared at them when they stared at me, relishing in the idea of them freaking out at the way I looked. Sometimes, I’d get really sad, and sometimes, I just listened to really really loud music. I had bad social anxiety. To be fair, it wasn’t me being overly paranoid; people really were staring at me. I think it was a completely rational reaction to how people were treating me, but of course, it was bad for my productivity skills, so it was definitely unhelpful for me.

To be fair, my life was not hard. I grew up in a fairly progressive space, and within, you know, my school, I felt at home with people who looked kind of like me. Still, there was always an expectation, or at least I felt like there was an expectation, that there was something inherently interesting or radical about my existence. I never really felt like I was a person of my own that I could cultivate meaning by myself of myself. And I think I just never learned how to do that. To this day, I don’t really know how to be a person. I feel more like a zoo animal. Or like a person on display.

I feel, at times my life is an experiment on what happens when you put a child through severe social alienation and expect them to be OK. Sometimes, I wonder what it’s like to be visually disabled, to sort of have to deal with that everywhere you go. I watched the movie Wonder when I was in- I don’t know, middle school, high school? And when the main character said something along the lines of “There is a second where people register my face, and they see me as a freak. They try to hide the face, but it always comes out”. That made me cry at the time, as I wanted to watch Deadpool and not really this movie, but it also really bummed me out because I realized that what was that was what was happening to me my entire life. I don’t really know what to do about it. I think- well, you know, I take my antidepressants, and I don’t have to feel these emotions if I choose not to, which is cool. Still, I sort of want to be a person of my own making, being myself and not necessarily a representation of other people or what things could be your political values or anything. I just wanna be myself, and I don’t think I’ve ever been a person. I don’t think I’m ever gonna really be allowed to be a person.

I really love boring people. I love born people because I feel like I was never able to grow up being a boring person. My number one wish is that I could be boring, I could be unremarkable, I could be nothing when I walk down the street.

I have this character in my head, and she’s well- she’s tall because I’m short, and her face isn’t really a face, it’s a white circle, and the white circle has no facial expression has no emotion unremarkable you can’t really feel anything from it. You know, it doesn’t really show any reaction to anything you do to it. It’s just a white circle. And sometimes I think about her tall and lanky, just walking around the world, and no one seeing her, and I think, ‘Wow, that would be nice if it was me’.

#i like to talk

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local-redhead-bookworm · 1 year

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I just got back from seeing Avatar: Way of Water and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

First off, the movie was absolutely visually stunning. The planet, the locations, the animals, all of it was gorgeous. Some of the most gorgeous shots I’ve ever seen.

I loved the Metkayina designs. They were clearly designed with water life in mind—the wider tails, wider arms to allow for better swimming. I also noticed inspiration drawn from Māori tattoos for their facial markings.

I loved all the kids, but Spider is definitely my favorite. It just makes me so sad that this kid has grown up never fitting in with the humans or the Na’vi and has been barely tolerated by most adults in his life. I have a lot of thoughts on Spider, but that’s a whole separate post. Basically I love him, I want him to be safe, and he’s a kind kid with a big heart and I’ll defend him to my dying day.

Kiri is a close second favorite. I was literally thinking “are there autistic Na’vi?” Before watching this and I kind of got my answer. Yes, i do 100% see Kiri as autistic. Also she’s canonically epileptic, which I thought was interesting. I just want more disabled characters that are interesting and contribute to the story, and she delivers. I also think it’s so cool that they gave her such a close connection with Eywa (no I don’t have religious trauma leave me alone). My only complaint is that Sigourney Weaver’s voice doesn’t…sound like a teenager’s voice to me. She plays the part very well, but her voice throws me off a bit.

I think it’s very interesting what they’ve done with Quaritch’s character. By making him a clone, you basically start over. He’s got all the memories but basically only a year or so of life experience and a lot of that influences how he interacts with the world, especially Pandora since he’s experiencing it from a new angle. He also noticeably softens toward Spider and while it may have started as manipulative, I do think he genuinely cares for Spider by the end. He reminds me a bit of early-show Zuko, and I can see him getting redeemed through his bond with Spider. I really want to see him link with a Spirit Tree, the existential crisis it would cause would make for great writing.

I don’t feel that Jake has been super poorly written, but I feel that we’re seeing him acting in survival mode so I don’t know what his relationship with his kids is usually like. I understand why he would revert to military training in a time of crisis.

I do feel like Jake has forgotten what it was like to be human in some ways, like he’s forgotten that he wasn’t always Na’vi. He does great his boys like they’re soldiers under his command, and I feel like his treatment of Spider shows just how much he’s forgotten what it was like to be human. What it was like to live in a world that wasn’t compatible with his body.

I also feel like Jake doesn’t have a full grasp of Na’vi culture still, and he sometimes overrides Neytiri when he should listen to her experience. Again, I understand the reasoning, it just annoys me.

Neytiri got shoved to the side a bit, in my opinion. She was in character, and I understand all of her responses, but I felt that Jake didn’t always treat her as an equal or value her knowledge enough. I don’t quite have words for how her emotions impact her character, but they’re all very impressed words. Just wow.

The tulkun are so cool to me. It started out as just kind of a whaling story, but you realize that these creatures are sentient, they’re capable of thought, they’re deeply intelligent beings. They’re people, plain and simple. And seeing the whaling analogy paired with the fact that these creatures are people, it made me nearly cry. Seeing them being murdered and their bodies desecrated for a tiny bit of profit had me cringing in my seat and made me so angry.

Random thoughts in no particular order:

Tsireya is so pretty I love her. She reminds me of a fantasy Elf for some reason.

Quaritch attempting the “death by thighs” move was unexpected, but not entirely unwelcome. I’m used to seeing femme fatale characters use that move, and I’m pretty sure I was blushing.

All of the Sully boys have daddy issues now, and Spider also has mommy issues

The “why so blue?” dad joke and Spider getting the one “fuck” of the movie made me laugh

#avatar way of water #oh look I’ve developed a new interest that’s gonna take over my life for the next few months

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petertingle-yipyip · 19 days

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POOKIE now that the album has been out for a while what are your fav songs????

me personnally i cant pick they all already mean sm to me😭😭

once i saw it was a DOUBLE ALBUM i decided to wait till i had enough time to listen in full so i will listen right now and pull a you and give live ratings! (skip to the bottom for an overall feeling)

fortnight 8/10 - this is so ex coded holy “i love you and it’s ruining my life” literally of her relationships at some point, wow. i will say that post is an interesting collab for this type of song but i don’t hate it

the tortured poets department 6/10 - i liked the bridge (i think that’s what it is) the best. lyrically it’s good but not my fave and saying that ab the title track i hope doesn’t get me yelled at by anyone

my boy only breaks his favorite toys 9/10 - i claimed this one from the tracklist so i knew i was gonna like it. the best she stays with as she sings the title is perfect for an edit

down bad 7.5/10 - i didn’t expect her to come out cussing at me, okay ms swift. not a skip but not a daily listen either. crying at the gym is relatable though

so long, london 8/10 - i used this as a fic title lol but the cadence really shows how angry/tired she was by the time they split. the lyrics here are so powerful too. her imagery is always so beautiful

but daddy i love him 6/10 - idk why but this just doesn’t resonate with me the way i thought it would. still good though but i wouldn’t save it turn it on from my own phone

fresh out the slammer 9/10- having that one person who is your immediate thought, the driving force behind you, your everything is all i want and that yearning keeps me up at night

florida!! 4/10- nothing about this song drew me in 🫣

guilty as sin? 8/10 - “i choose you and me religiously” so matt murdock coded

who’s afraid of little old me? 10/10 - SO ex coded and rep coded “i was gentle, i was tame till the circus life made me mean” or “you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me” TELL ME THAT ISNT OUR GIRL EXODUS

i can fix him (no really i can) 6.5/10 - me with every fictional man i come across the “ woah, maybe i can’t” at the end is crazy, basically agreeing that he was such a mess but i was hoping to like this one a little more

loml 9/10- joe put her through it, holy shit

i can do it with a broken heart 10/10 - immediately can tell she was writing about herself performing from another perspective and i love the juxtaposition of a pop-dance type beat with these tougher lyrics “i cry a lot but im so productive” is literally me

the smallest man who ever lived 7.8/10 - the title feels like the inverse of the “loudest woman this town has ever seen” lyric and to me, it really highlights got she was always this icon whereas he was always ducking and dodging and not willing to live in that spotlight with her

the alchemy 5/10 - i feel like the message of this song went right over my head

clara bow 6/10 - it’s a cute song that (i think) documents the growth of her career and maybe the comparisons/comments she gotten as she’s worked and how people compare new stars to her

the black dog 5/10- it doesn’t really resonate with me

imgonnagetyouback 8.5/10 - is this the one some people are saying is similar to get him back! by liv? bc the only similarity i hear is the concept of not knowing if you’re gonna rekindle or beat the shit out of your ex

the albatross 8.5/10 - it’s like she knows exodus and elektra. “she is here to destroy you” but i think this is another way of her reclaiming her image/reputation through acknowledging and challenging what men/media say about her

chloe or sam or sophia or marcus 8.8/10 - honestly idk what ab this song but it’s so beautiful. i can’t explain it but its like a ballroom dance

how did it end? 9/10 - this song gives the vibes of a movie scene where two people are on swings at the night and then suddenly, one swing is empty (but still going) and the other person is just teetering on their toes

so high school 5/10 - gives me early ts vibes and it’s cute but not really me

i hate it here 7/10- not my favorite but i do like the beat

thanK you aIMee 6/10 - this is directed at KIM or am i tripping? also the guitar reminds me of debut era for some reason

i look in peoples windows 7.5/10 - this song is yearning, wanting to see that person just one more time and its me wondering if i’ll see my ex again, just to know what’d happen if he saw me again after everything he’s said to me

the prophecy 9/10 - i really love the chorus

cassandra 5/10 - didn’t really stick out to me and became background noise 🫣

peter 7.8/10 - its really cute and ik it’s probably more of a peter pan reference but the editors need to get on it and do peter x mj

the bolter 8.7/10 - i was not reviled by anyone except my own father so (we’re better now though) but i do run from intimacy

robin 6/10 - slow, sweet, cute little song

the manuscript 9/10- instantly loved it (forgot what else i wanted to say here)

overall, is a lyrically beautiful album. there’s so much emotion in the music and her delivery. her imagery is so beautiful as always. personally, i won’t say i love it but it is so so impactful. releasing 31 songs in one project is unheard of so i tip my hat to her ability to tell these stories with such grace and eloquence through such a marathon of an album. i like that you can hear bits of her previous albums in some of the songs and it is a very mature project imo. you can tell how much this meant to her and how much of herself she’s poured out. its an overall ~7.8/10 for me but i would recommend everyone to give it a listen

#fallingfavourites #en talks: music #the tortured poets department #taylor swift ttpd

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hyunnieshannie · 10 months

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Have you ever read a fic that captures you in every way?

Warning: this is a rant // Review about a fic I just finished. I DONT usually post this kind of thing on the writing blog and would usually post this on my secondary ( @hyunsungbased ) but I felt like I needed to rant properly so here you go.

I just finished the most gruesome. Heart wrenching. Psychiatric facility needing fic I have EVER read and enjoyed all 35 chapters of the gut twisting, anxiety inducing story line.

The tags? Usually ones I don’t go out of my way looking for (Dead Dove: Do Not Eat and others) but when I saw THE TRAILER. YES. A WHOLE. MOVIE. TRAILER. for it. I had to do it.

Like this fic genuinely surpassed being just a fic. I 100% believe that if the author changed the names around from SKZ / ATEEZ names it could be a published book. That would more than definitely capture the attention of horror // psychological thriller fans.

As someone who wants to be in film as a director I’d JUMP at a chance to make this a tv show or movie. It was fucking PHENOMENAL.

The plot. Attention to detail. Continuity. The side plots. The foreshadowing. The hints dropped throughout the story, Everything about this fic was so incredibly well done. The author must have been as meticulous as Chan was throughout the story to genuinely have me this floored.

There are very little authors who’ve had me this intrigued. A few being some mutuals I’ve made here. (@milkandhyunnie & @straywrds I’m looking at you) and some who I continuously read their works. (You can find the works I genuinely love SO MUCH in my Fic Suggestions list HERE

Back to my rant/Review:

I Don’t cry at fics. I barely cry reading but some of the deaths gutted me. I have an entire video of myself SOBBING over two deaths. Ranting to a friend of how cruel it was even tho I was EXPECTING it. And every-time it was brought back up I could feel myself choking. It was unfair and cruel. And one of the characters last words being “Do you think he’s waiting for me?” Destroyed me in my entirety.

This fic became an obsession. Almost as unhealthy and the relationship between the main characters. It ate me alive. My brain couldn’t function properly. It became an obsession. I stayed up countless nights reading because i couldn’t put it down.

I fell in love with the characters, their development, and genuinely felt so strongly. And DEFENDED THEIR ACTIONS.

There were times I found myself thinking ‘wow yeah I’m in love with Hyunjin’s character in this fic..’ when I know I should have been wincing at the thought of who his character was.

It. Fucked. With. Me. So. Bad. (In a good way)

I talked about it to all my friends —> told them what was going on as a play by play as I read.

They aren’t really down for the kind of fic it was (Murder// Gruesome killings// and other things that is best described in ‘Have you ever seen the show Hannibal?’ {no. No one in SKZ does those things to each other // Eats. Weird things}) they opted to me giving a synopsis.

They laughed with me and when it came to. Cried as hard as I did and they weren’t even reading it. (Ty to my friends for putting up with me because dear god. When I say it became an obsession I genuinely mean it. A lot of it inspired how Kierra acts within our fic super board. So if our last chapter of Kierra’s past shocked you that fic may have definitely had a part to play. Kierra was ALWAYS going down that road. The author inspired the gruesomeness of the act itself)

As someone who’s been writing another fic on the sidelines to test the waters of the dark and twisted this fic has truly inspired me. (I may perhaps leave it on AO3 instead as I’m not sure how our readers here - who are used to our casual fluffier happy ending writing style may react.).

I have never been more inspired to write angst with either a hopeful ending or no happy ending at all.

I could go on about this all day. I have done it too. I have went on a whole TWO HOUR explanation on how I felt about this I could probably write an essay about why it was so good.

If you made it this far thank you.

Here’s a gift for your troubles.

*cries seeing them because this fic altered my brain chemistry*

>> Mini’s Note: If somehow any of this interested you after reading this (i tried to leave it as vague as possible while my brain still tries to process the last 3 chapters) pls feel free to dm me for info on it but I cannot stress this enough. This fic is so heavy in terms of topics and the details put into it. SO. HEAVY. I’ll gladly pass it along but it really is not for the weak of stomachs. If you still want it, I advise you HEAVILY READ THE TAGS MORE THAN ONCE.

Ps: i have started their next series which is on going and supposedly DARKER than the one I just finished. Please pray for not only may sanity, but for the sanity of the friends who will have to deal with me for the next [insert time period] that I spend reading it.

#hyunnieshannie #stray kids #stray kids fic #fic recommendation #fic review #ao3 works #i seriously have a problem #i seriously want to cry #this fic is so good #this fic will be the death of me #this fic altered my brain chemistry.#dm me if you want the link.#READ. THE. WARNINGS.

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tellthemeerkatsitsfine · 25 days

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I didn’t plan things this way, but it turns out it’s Mental Health Weekend in my stand-up comedy watching. By which I mean the three stand-up hours I downloaded to watch this weekend happened to all tackle that subject, in wildly different ways. Which isn’t that massive a coincidence, I guess, as a lot of stand-up hours do this. But these ones really find three quite different and specific takes on the subject.

Dan Rath – I’m Not Doing Well, Folks (2023)

Do you like Sam Campbell? Well, meet his weird Australian friend! Seriously, I’ve also heard the show Greg Larsen was doing last year, and I’m increasingly convinced that Sam Campbell is the normal one among his people in Australia.

I’d heard Dan Rath’s pervious show, Cockroach Party, which was released as one of the ABC comedy podcasts. I liked it, but I think I kind of listened to it at the wrong time, while on break at work. Listening to this one while at home doing nothing makes me think his shows deserve more attention, because there were a lot of jokes that I would not have caught if I’d been less careful. Anyway, for whatever reason, Cockroach Party made me like him, but I’m Not Doing Well Folks (which was his 2023 show and was just released on YouTube) has made me think he’s brilliant and has moved far higher on the list of people I’d love to see live.

I laughed out loud so many times when watching this, hard and uncontrollably in the way that you usually don’t when just watching something on your own in your room. The whole show was constant and quick and ever-changing so you never really settle down and stop laughing so much.

There were only a few topics that he stays with for a significant period of time, one of which is mental illness, so that’s why I said this was on theme. It’s very much not “let me be confessional and vulnerable about the dramatic mental illness I’ve suffered” (not that there’s anything wrong with that, the other two shows I watched today were that and they were also great). It is jokes about autism, in what would be a case of “Oh, you can’t say that” if he weren’t autistic. At least, I think he’s autistic. He repeatedly says he’s autistic, and the vast majority of what he says during this show is clearly not true, but if there’s one claim in this whole show I don’t find it hard to believe, it’s Dan Rath being autistic.

It's not storytelling comedy, it’s definitely not sketch or anything like that, there are a few one-liners but most bits are longer than that, it’s not not character comedy but not the way Anna Mann is a character. The way Joe Wilkinson is a character. It’s a really, really funny character. His stuff about serial killers made me nearly cry with laughter. It had a few little bits that I recognized from Cockroach Party, but most of it was new, and I thought nearly every single bit was good. His disarming way of saying something offhandedly and then immediately moving on got me every time.

I’m going to have “I don’t give a fuck if the robots take over. I’m autistic, they’ll hire me as an interpreter,” stuck in my head for a while.

Lulu Popplewell – Actually, Actually (2023)

I have to admit: I mainly watched this show because I fucking hate Love, Actually. I didn’t see that movie until last year, which I guess was too late in life to watch it. Too late in my life, and too late in history, as a lot of the shit that apparently “seemed okay at the time” really no longer seemed okay by then. Though I’m pretty sure I’d have thought this even if I saw it when it came out. I turned 13 in 2003, and I spent a fair bit of 2003 telling people that various things on TV were sexist, and getting told to stop being oversensitive, and then as an adult I read these articles that say “Wow, I can’t believe all the blatant sexism and homophobia in the sitcom Friends that no one noticed at the time!” Well I noticed! But no one listened!

I didn’t watch Love, Actually in 2003. I watched it in 2023, because my mother talked me into it. It’s been a running thread between my mother and I since about 2003 that she always wanted a daughter to do things like watch romcoms with, and when I was 13 I’d just say no and it would turn into big fights, but as an adult, I try to occasionally be more flexible. And sometimes they’re good! Sometimes I learn that my knee-jerk hatred for all the feminine-coded things that were forced upon me in my youth is misplaced, and these things can be fun. I’d thought Love, Actually might be like that. Not really my sort of movie, but if I agree to suspend my disbelief and buy into the world of romcom tropes, then it can be fun.

Love, Actually was not fun. Love, Actually was pure shit from start to finish, no matter how much I tried to remind myself that you’re supposed to relax about the less believable bits. There is a certain level of romanticization of workplace sexual harassment that I’m willing to overlook for the sake of trying to enjoy a romcom with my mother, and this movie was many times over that limit. I was truly amazed by the large number of different types of terrible people they managed to fit into one movie. I’d heard people say before that “You know, when you really think about it, that story in Love, Actually isn’t even really romantic, it’s creepy and mean that he tries to steal his best friend’s wife.” As though that’s that biggest problem! As though attempted infidelity is even worth commenting on, when it’s next to severe sexual harassment by literally the most powerful job in the land! Or that other workplace harassment where a guy follows his non-English-speaking employee to a different country? And then Alan Rickman is just walking around cheating on his wife in the background. I think Martin Freeman was all right, oddly.

I don’t mind a movie about terrible people, but portray it that way! Give us a movie about creepy horrible people getting away with it all the time. Not a movie where we’re apparently supposed to hope things work out well for some of them. Honestly, I’m shocked that this got by even by 2003 standards.

Anyway. I know Paul Sinha’s done a show talking shit about that movie, and I wish he’d recorded that because I’d love to see Paul Sinha apply his brand of intellectualism to taking that apart. But this week I saw that NextUp has up a show that Lulu Popplewell streamed from Edinburgh in 2023. She played one of the children in Love, Actually, and is now an adult. From the description, I got the impression that a lot of the show would be her taking down Love, Actually. I watched the show because I wanted to see that.

So you can imagine my surprise when it was in fact a show about mental illness and addiction, and the Love, Actually thing was just a little bit of structure around which she tied it. Luckily, it was quite a good show about mental illness and addiction, so I don’t blame her for clearly using the eye-catching fact that she was a child actor in a very famous movie to sell it in her blurb. That got me to watch, and I liked what it turned out to actually be. And there was some talking shit about Love, Actually.

She talked about a bunch of things I find interesting, the way addiction can be an underlying personality trait and if you’re addicted to one thing you’ll probably keep getting addicted to other things, and addictions to “obvious” things like alcohol can be deeply interconnected with gambling or shopping or video games or disordered eating. I said at the beginning of this post that comedians talking about mental health is hardly rare, which it isn’t, but she definitely covers some of the “harder stuff” than what you normally hear, or than what most people experience (in as much as most people experience some amount of mental health difficulty). She talks openly, but while acknowledging the awkwardness that can come with that kind of openness, about psychosis and addiction and rehab. In addition to a specific perspective she has on how misogyny affects women in the public eye.

And she makes jokes. That seems worth pointing out, it did make me laugh. It started a bit slow; for the first fifteen or so minutes I was thinking this might be one of those shows where she says interesting things but doesn’t make me laugh much. But the more she established herself within the show, the better her jokes got, and by the end she made me laugh out loud several times. I thought the second half of this show was definitely stronger than the first, but none of it was bad. Her persona went very fast from “privileged child star” to “absolute mess” (as it so often goes with child stars), though she keeps reminding us that she’s in recovery now and is in a place to talk about it with some perspective.

I enjoyed this one, and like I said, I did get some of the complaining about Love, Actually that I’d hoped for. I’m glad I watched it.

Richard Gadd – Monkey See Monkey Do (2016)

I was reminded of this show’s existence by the fact that his new TV show Baby Reindeer has just come out, which I haven’t seen but would look to watch at some point, it looks very interesting. That reminded me that last year I had a quest to see or hear every Perrier Award-winning show for which I could find a recording. I’d never seen the Richard Gadd one that won in 2016, so I looked it up, and found that it did get filmed for those Soho Theatre sessions. I added that to my collection. In case anyone wants to keep score with me, my folder with (audio or video) recordings of Perrier Award-winning shows now has the winners from: 1999, 2003, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2013, 2016, 2017 (x2), 2018, 2019, 2022, and 2023. If anyone knows of others that have been recorded, please let me know.

I wasn’t quite sure what to expect with this show. I’d read that it was pretty conceptual, and I’d read that it was about trauma, but I hadn’t expected just how much of both those things it would be, until I watched it. It was a lot of both those things. It wasn’t stand-up with a couple of props in it – it was a story told via recorded audio and video and a man in a thematically relevant costume who runs on a treadmill for most of the show, which is a very physically impressive feat, aside from anything else. And it wasn’t just a show that gets into trauma – it was 47 minutes of trauma. And I thought it was great.

I hesitate a bit to say too much about it, partly because it feels weird to “rate” something so personal (even though all comedy is subjective and “rating” it is always kind of bullshit). Partly because I don’t watch a lot of comedy that gets to this level of “conceptual”, so I don’t feel confident in my ability to know good stuff from bad stuff when I see it (though I’m not the only person who thought this one was very good, they gave it an award and everything). And partly because I found a lot of it so impactful that if anyone is considering watching it, I don’t want to spoil too much (though it’s a show from 2016, I don’t think spoilers are a large issue).

He got into a bunch of interesting stuff in this show, about masculinity and sexual assault and mental illness, presenting in what I found a very immediate and hard-hitting way. Especially the sounds and whatever else he was doing to bring to live his descriptions of anxiety.

It often annoys me when comedians comment on how an audience “isn’t sure if they’re allowed to laugh” at something they’ve said – because often, the comedian is overestimating their own edginess, what they’ve said wasn’t “too uncomfortable” to laugh at, it just wasn’t that great. In this Richard Gadd show, he never said “I can see the audience trying to decide whether they’re allowed to laugh right now”, but there were multiple points when I could tell the audience were trying to decide whether they were allowed to laugh at that funny bit. Or maybe I’m just projecting, because that’s what I was doing.

This very much was one of those shows people make jokes about because they’re a bit overdone and can be painfully embarrassing if not done well – a comedy show that lets itself have significant portions that aren’t funny, they’re a person telling us very honestly and intensely about something harrowing. But I do like those shows when they’re good, and this one was, and about something important. And some of it was definitely funny. I would like to watch his new TV show at some point.

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