#not that it matters anyway HAHA

[love-marimo]

made a little something yesterday ♡

song: ruu's melody // genshin impact

instrument: laud // filipino tuning

#lolita does things #genshin impact #ruu's melody #laud #rondalla #music #bandlab #if you're good at finding accounts you can also see this on my main page ;3 #not that it matters anyway HAHA #gahh this was just a fun little piece #i arranged other songs maybe i should post them one by one #hoyomix #love love love genshin's soundtrack

[wingsofhcpe]

actually there's a huge difference between queerbaiting/"Hey guys look how gay these two are haha they're definitely gonna end up together, give us views uwu oh- never mind oops they're going to superhell" and "Hey it's 2004-2012 and there's no way we can get away with having our protags/main couple be two gay men but we really want to show these two are soulmates so we'll do it through subtext and underlying messages and by literally telling you over and over again their relationship is the most stable and important in the entire show, and the ending will imply they lived and died together", and it's insane that some of yall don't see how these two are not the same fucking thing.

#saw a very Shit Take about hilson earlier and im like. hm. some of yall have no idea what gay rep was like before 2016ish and it shows! #i feel like usa queer ppl have forgotten that this is actually still the norm about queer rep in most non-USA places #or are young enough/new enough in fandom that they dont know this was actually the most we'd get at the time #like if it was queerbaiting it would eventually be played as a joke Haha No Homo #but it wasnt. like. their relationship was shown to be THE most stable and important one in both their lives & the show overall #they literally destroyed their LIVES to be with each other. repeatedly. #anyway i could write an entire 10 page thesis on the matter but i have an actual exam in three hrs so. another time #house md #hilson #greg house #james wilson #gregory house #house x wilson

[medicalunprofessional]

never change, man !

#phantom of the paradise #potp #swan potp #nightmaretheater #65 layers and about 24 hours . Eeeyyuppp #Look into my beautiful mind boy #Its a bit unusual to what i usually draw #but i had to push a specific look for this piece #hopefully you all are picking up on the corperate look . the advertisment look #Sneeze. Anyways my point is industry destroys creative people. This includes swan #I feel like phrases like these ; how he was put on a pedistal…. it lead him to be Like That #as awful as he is he desperately needed help #it might seem like vanity on the surface #but i think its… more than that #long story short: we need to destroy the beauty industry. the skincare industry. the anti-aging industry #It ruined his psyche forever and he cant let go of the ideal version of himself he will never truly be again #i dont think he can at this point. hes in too deep and hes suffering for it no matter how much he feels hes fixed his problems #he cant accept a version of himself that isnt that perfect young man. because he never confronted his problems. he just ran away #anyways . Hi swath *punches him**kicks him* #i dont care if nobody gets me lalalalla my truths and headcanons are awesome forever and i live in my own reality lallaallal #sorry i think im gonna be posting about swan alot for a few months hes making me sick #i wass gonna post this earlier but my internet was real bad #*lays down in my pile of pillows* eat up boys. haha #sidenote: drawing white blond people is horrifiying. Boy your skin and hair are the same color. Introduce some contrast to yourself. Please #adding on: its inportant to note this focuses on him looking st himself in the mirror alot on purpouse #to remind himself what he ‘’’’really’’’’ looks like #the 4 middle pannels all represent that too . u have to be in my brain ri get this #sorry for unleashijg another swan essay in my tags. will happen again lol

[beelzzzebub]

hi!!!! thank you @summercampghostie @im-the-son-of-rage-and-lov3 and @biromanticboba for the tag! i'm making a new thread so i could respond to everyone at once. i love this picrew so it was really fun to do again with the changes in my look hehe

it's supposed to be what you look like vs what you would want to look like, but if i'm being completely honest, i've just been really happy with how i look lately so i only did that version :))))

EDITING TO ADD THE LINK LMAO HERE YOU GO

np tags 🪄 @spectral-mycoblin @starry-eyed-darling @trips-around-the-sun @mack-anthology-mp3 and ofc anyone else who wants to join!! love you all <3

#boink #picrew #im so happy i cut my hair haha #ive also been letting myself do fun makeup things #like i sort of have a new routine of lipstick + eyeliner for a darker color #and then just lipstick for eyeshadow and blush #and smudged eyeliner and spidery mascara lashes #i am a huge fan of doing this #in addition not doing makeup that will make me more conventionally attractive #like the goal is not to look as if i am not wearing makeup #its to have fun with it #we're feeling vampire #we're feeling gothic spring #im also not making my face all matte lol #ive always been so insecure that my face is too oily or too shiny or whatever the hell people are made to feel insecure about #and i have decided that actually that does not matter #and my face is going to look like what it fucking looks like #its a great time #ive been having more fun with clothes too honestly #im really trying to lean into this whole gothic floral thing you know #lololllllll #anyway #thank you tags for beingy happy ramble space as always #go forth and picrew my friends

[sysig]

Strictly professional showering (Patreon)

#Doodles #UT #Handplates #Alphys #Gaster #''Do Monsters even have showers-'' shhhhhh. Let me have this #Lol #And to think I made this because I Actually wanted to draw him miserably taking a shower! #Probably unsurprising but this was a shower thought lol #I knew as soon as I started thinking about the differences in Snowdin vs. Hotland's temperatures and what that might do to the water- #It was too late! I had to make something about it all my doodles are secretly just a way to smuggle unrelated headcanons out lol #Pipes bursting in Snowdin probably would be a problem for at least like kitchen sinks :0 Need reinforced cold-proof pipes haha #I haven't gotten to Hotland in my current playthrough but there was also the water cooler wasn't there! #Only Waterfall convenient to take showers in lol #ANYway so distractable lol #Gaster doesn't feel even a little bad asking favours lol casually waves it away as ''It needs to be done so it's fine'' #Aren't you worried about being an inconvenience! No he's not lol #And obviously Alphys doesn't mind hehe ♪ #Alphys is the best because basically no matter where you drop it in the timeline she's always going to be awkward and thirsty lol #They've known each other for a few months? They've known each other for a few years? Alphys will still swing-and-a-miss lol #She's really cute heck I gotta practice her more ♫ Curves! Love drawing curves #Really what were you expecting - why would he come out before he's dressed? This isn't his house it's not like he can just wander around #He brought everything in with him that he needed! Silly #If skeletons are fluffy do you suppose they shed? Would she find skeleton fuzz on one of her towels?

[cerise-on-top]

Could I request Gaz, Alejandro, & Valeria with gn reader who's love language is violence? Like- always wanting to spar, (affectionate) punches, biting them or casually threatening them (empty threats, obviously)

Love your writing so much! Be sure to take good care of yourself!! 🫶🫶

I used to show my affection like that when I was younger, but me threatening my friends is still very much a thing! And thank you for the compliment, glad to hear my writing is enjoyable to you!

Gaz, Alejandro and Valeria with an S/O with a Violent Love Language

Gaz: In all honesty, the first time you bite him, he’ll stare at you for a bit before asking you what you’re doing. It never occurred to him that biting could be a love language, so you’d need to explain yourself to him first. It would be a bit strange to him at first, it’s definitely something he’ll need to get used to, but he can appreciate you being affectionate in your own ways. He’s a rather affectionate guy himself, even if he doesn’t particularly show his love for others through violent means. Gaz always just assumed that affection was shown through one of the common love languages, but he can get used to it eventually. From time to time, when you threaten to put him in the electric chair, he’ll feign hurt, pretending to be insulted by what you’ve said to him. He knows you wouldn’t ever go through with it, but it’s all in good fun anyway. He might not threaten you back, aside from the occasional “I’m going to drink the strawberry milk if you keep being insolent”, but every time you do say something deranged towards him he has to keep himself from saying something sassy himself. He’d love to, but he’s not sure you’d react well to it. You can lightly punch him, if you dare, but he will get his revenge on you. His love language is being an idiot, so be prepared for a pillow fight or maybe even a tickle war. Something along the lines of that. You can also spar with him, but he won’t go easy on you just because you’re together. If anything, it’s all the more incentive for him to show you how strong he is by beating you every time. Gaz isn’t as weak as many people think he is, he could easily take you in a fight. You will be pinned down a lot, so be prepared.

Alejandro: He’s probably a big fan of you being down to spar with him just about whenever you can. Like Gaz, it’s a way for him to show off, but he’ll also use the opportunity to teach you a thing or two about self-defense, especially if you’re not in the military yourself. It’s a fun way for you to tire yourself out and for him to stay in shape as well. While he may not always have the time to properly spar with you, he’ll try to make it up to you somehow. You could jump at him from behind and he’ll still find a way to get you to the ground. He’s a playful guy, so if you decide to lightly punch him he will punch you back, no qualms whatsoever about it. It might hurt a bit, though, since he does have quite a lot of muscles and doesn’t always take his strength into consideration, but he’ll apologize to you afterwards. If you threaten him he’ll simply roll his eyes at you and take away some privileges you might have. Hugging privileges, kissy privileges, if he’s feeling especially devious your attention privileges will be taken away from you as well. That is until you learn to apologize and not tell a colonel to “eat shit and die”. He could fold you in half just about whenever, so remember that next time you’re about to put him in the meat grinder. He does try to get creative with threatening you as well, though. But it’ll mostly be something easy to digest. You can bite him all you want, if he’s having a good day then there’s a chance he might just bite you back. Alejandro gives you a ten second headstart before he’ll catch you and bite right back. Even if you hide from him, he’ll find you anywhere in Las Almas.

Valeria: Don’t be too affectionate with her in public. It’s not that she wouldn’t love to show you off, but she doesn’t really have the time for your affections nor does she want to draw attention to you either. You can bite her in private. While she may not be the biggest fan of being bitten, she will tolerate just about everything else. In fact, you threatening her, El Sin Nombre, the leader of a great drug cartel, is sort of funny to her. She could kill you so easily and no one would ever know, but no, she won’t. You can threaten her all you want, she’ll find a way to make you take back your words. She can either beckon you over so you will turn your empty threat into a promise, or she’ll walk up to you herself, take your wrist into her hand, give you a sly smirk and tell you to toughen up. She’ll always quip back at you when she can, threatening you herself. She gets very violent, though, and it’s hard to differentiate between what is a joke and what she’s actually done before. Hanging someone from their intestines might either be Valeria humor, or something she’s done before. Sparring with her is interesting, because she will give it her all. You need to realize your place in your relationship, which is somewhere pinned underneath her. It’s a nice way for her to get out her frustrations while also staying professional and showing you just how cool she is. Don’t mess with her is her message here. You can gladly try to beat her, but Valeria plays dirty, even against you. She’s not above cheating to get her way, so you might wanna tap into your inner swindler as well if you really wanna win. However, it does make her feel very powerful whenever she does have you pinned underneath her, looking down at you with a smirk. Just a small reminder of what she’s capable of.

#cod #cod x reader #kyle gaz garrick #kyle gaz garrick x reader #gaz x reader #alejandro vargas #alejandro vargas x reader #valeria garza #valeria garza x reader #Valeria is a menace in every way no matter what it is. she's just a very passionate woman! #I remember i used to lightly kick my friends when I was younger but I was told off for being weird so I haven't done it since #oh well it happens I suppose but I'm glad to hear I'm not the only “weirdo” here haha #anyway thank you for the request! it's always nice to see other people's points of view as well on things!

[me-sploh-rada-imas]

stats time as these polls have finally finished! bojan jan jure kris nace

these show the same data but in slightly different ways in case people find one easier to interpret.

so i guess the gays and lesbians love kris, the bisexuals love jan, the aces love nace, the straights love bojan, and the 'others' love jure? ngl i'm not so surprised by this! anyone else have thoughts?

also as always i'm amazed by how many bi and ace people there are in this fandom! and the fact that so few straight people come here haha.

data under the read more:

#joker out #nace jordan #jan peteh #bojan cvjetićanin #kris guštin #jure maček #anyone else find this super interesting? i love analysing data like this #as an ace nace girlie (gn) this makes me very happy haha #also i'm taking 'other' to mean queer/doesn't use labels but isn't straight so it's interesting to see jure winning that one #sad that jure has a much smaller sample size though he's so underrated #also i spent too long working on the colour scheme lmao #obviously this isn't the best data like i'm sure the sample size proportions don't match the poll for who's your favourite #but it doesn't really matter anyway #we're so queer on here i love us

[seaquestions]

big dog little dog energy. uh anyway.

[id: two drawings of conor garland & nikita zadorov as furries (a russel terrier & a great dane) referencing the video of them shoving each other at practice. text reads "lil' push!" & "BIG SHOVE!" end id.]

#vancouver canucks #conor garland #nikita zadorov #hockey art #niksartstuffs #sorry for drawing real life nhl players as furries. it might happen again (depends on how embarrassed by this i am in the morning.) #i'd love to say its just cos i wanna practice w/ reference for my hockey furries but thats not the truth... #the truth is that conor garland is like some sort of terrier to me. what a special little guy. they may have lost yesterday but! #the garly girlies got a goal. that. matters. 💥💥💥 #anyway im like. actually feverish rn lol 🤒 i need to take some meds and lie down haha myb that has smth to do with. this lapse of judgement #furry art #hockeyposting

[charlesemersonwinchesteriii]

Elim Garak: fucking around vs finding out

#garashir #Elim Garak #Star Trek: Deep Space 9 #my first ever DS9 gifs! please clap :') #anyways where is quote_from_man_shot.jpg #absolute BEST part of this was definitely making that last gif. I had to watch it so many times making this post and it STILL gets me. #Garak; panting; ajan soaking wet: omg what if you SHOT me wouldn't that be so crazy lol I bet you never would though... haha.... unless? #Julian: ok you little slut. bet. #Garak: YOU SHOOT ELIM???? OH! OH! OHhhh I love you so much <3 Whatever you say Agent Bashir hehe ;) can I come over to your place later ;) #I was thinking about including the next shot of his brain turning off as he decides to do a bratty sub to puppy sub speedrun #but this way felt funniest. his stupid fucking face. from O:< to D:< #I had to make this set to show it's not even subtext. it's textual. he wants Julian to shoot him from the second he shows up. #(or at least do SOMETHING disciplinary to him 0w0) #''Wait. This whole post is dom!Julian propaganda?'' #Me; aiming my gun: Always has been. #Starky's Original Posts #Starky's GIFs #is that a tag. what's it matter we're a trillion tags deep here and blog tag search is broken anyways. lawless country.

[hailsatanacab]

@the-ghost-trader - ooooh, i love this! it has the potential to be so incredibly sad, too, like poor Damian just trying to carve out something normal for himself only for it blow up in his face

BUT, shockingly, i'm not about the angst today! not yet anyway 😇

---

“So, how was your day?”

Despite his answering groan, Damian likes this. This. This whole… thing he has with Danielle. With Ellie. 

And, yeah, he’s not exactly told any of the others yet, but can you blame him? For wanting to keep something, anything, to himself. Wanting to keep this small little slice of goodness he’s managed to carve out, untouched and unmarred by his family, by their other lives, by the rogues, the vigilantes, the assassins, everyone.

“That bad, huh?”

Being with Ellie is freeing. That’s the best way to describe it.

She knows. Damian surprised even himself when he told her—not about the others, mind, but he supposes it’s not hard to put two and two together and Dani has always been smarter than most—but it’s the best decision he’s ever made, and no matter what the niggling little voice in the back of his head says (the one that sounds suspiciously like Father), he can’t bring himself to regret it.

He won’t. Because having Ellie know gives him freedom.

She’s a safe place, a hand to hold, a warm, welcoming presence when things inevitably turn ugly. It’s the freedom to just be normal when everything else in his life spirals into stranger and more stressful missions.

“Richard is being insufferable again. I do not understand his incessant need to know everything about my life.”

“Oh? What’s he done now?” 

“I was subjected to an hour long interrogation about my love life, like it’s any of his business. It’s infuriating!”

“Ugh, tell me about it. I get the same thing from Jazz, constantly. It can be suffocating.” Ellie says as she curls herself tighter into his side. “But it’s just how they show they care.”

“Yes, well, sometimes I wish he wouldn’t—”

“Hey!” Ellie pushes herself up to glare at him, punctuating her shout with a soft whack to his arm for good measure. “What have I said about using that word?”

“Yes, yes,” he placates with a roll of his eyes, “‘Be careful what you wish for.’ I apologise, it won't happen again.”

“Damn straight it won't.”

She maintains eye contact with him for a second longer before tucking herself back into his side, squirming around with a long, contented hum that Damian can feel rumble through him. He smiles and doesn’t complain even when he has to shift to give her more room after a particularly strong elbow jabs him in the ribs. It means leaving the warm patch on the couch, but he’s rewarded with another long, happy moan as she settles and Damian can’t bring himself to mind.

Ellie constantly makes noises. Little mews and hums and laughs and songs known only to her. It reminds him of a cat, sometimes. He likes it. It calms him down; it means she’s happy, so he's happy.

They settle back into the cushions and Damian lets the subject drop, not wanting to spoil the moment. Outside, the wind changes direction and from where he’s laying he can watch as the snow starts to come down thick and heavy. Hopefully it’ll mean a quiet night's patrol.

“Is that why you haven’t introduced me yet?”

“What?” He can't help it, he stiffens at the thought of losing his secret, of the scrutiny he'll be inviting if he lets anyone know.

“Are you worried I’ll embarrass you?”

Damian’s eyes snap down quick to reassure her, only to see her light, teasing grin. He lets out a breath of relief. It figures she wouldn't worry about that.

“Of course not, don’t be absurd. You could never embarrass me.”

“I don’t know,” she muses, her voice taking on a dangerous lilt, “that sounds like a challenge.”

“Believe me, having been subjected to Father’s Brucie persona at every gala I’ve been to, it would take a lot to embarrass me.”

“Alright, bet. I’ll get you, just you wait.”

“You’ve already got me.”

She flicks him on the nose. “You’re such a sap.”

He hums his agreement, enjoying the tinkling sound of her laughter. And then, before he can think otherwise, he asks, “Is that why you haven’t introduced me?”

“That’s different,” she scowls. “You know how hard it is to get there, there’s no signal, and Danny only gets a break like—oh, Ancients!”

Damian gets another elbow to the ribs as she bolts upright, a manic grin on her face that has him laughing.

“What is it?”

“It’s the holidays! It’s nearly Truce Day! You know I said I had a family thing around Christmas?”

“Yes?” 

“Well, do you want to come to it? I can introduce you then! I mean, it’s going to be a bit formal and you’ll have to meet everyone, not just family. There’s going to be some banquets, you’ll have to sit through some long speeches and you have to be on your best behaviour at all times, okay? Absolutely no fighting, it’s called Truce Day for a reason!”

“What?”

“Yeah, it’ll be perfect! I think Jazz is going in a couple days earlier to help with the preparations, so I’ll get her to let Danny know—and fair warning, he will try to give you the shovel talk, but this is great! It’s Truce Day, so he can’t actually do anything about it!”

“I’m sorry, but you're going to have to explain a bit.”

“Yeah, I know, it’s a bit much—but that’s family, right? Danny can get pretty protective over me, which is why going on Truce Day is the best time to do it! He can’t even command the Fright Knight to stab you! It’s genius!”

“Ellie, what?”

“Like, yeah, sure, he’s the king, but even he has to obey the rules of Truce Day—and then once you’ve spent all day with him, he’ll see that you’re a fantastic, wonderful, kind, brilliant, smart, strong, capable person and he’ll get over himself and everything will be good!"

Damian collapses down onto the couch, the wind knocked out of him. This is… He had not expected anything like this at all. For all that Ellie talked about her family, she had never mentioned this.

“Did you… did you say your brother is a king?”

“Yeah! High King Phantom, have I…” The manic grin slips off her face as she turns round and notices Damian. “Have I not mentioned that before?”

“No. No, you have not.”

“Ah. Sorry. Probably should clarify that I’m also a princess.”

“Right. Yes, that follows.”

“And I’m not really his sister, I’m his clone.”

“What?”

Damian blinks and tries to say more, but he has no idea what he’s meant to do with… any of this information. 

Normal. He thought she was meant to be his normal. Nothing could have prepared him for this.

Not that it changed anything, of course, of that he was certain. It’s just… a lot to take in. Overwhelming. But it's okay! He takes a deep breath, and another, and a sense of calm washes over him. Ellie makes one of her little hums as she cocks her head to the side to consider him and he can't help but relax at the normalcy of the sound. It'll be okay, he's dealt with stranger and he can deal with this.

“I’ve, uh… I’ve told you that we’re half ghosts, though, right?”

“What?”

#dpxdc #danny phantom batman #danny phantom crossover #damian wayne/dani phantom #do they have a ship name? probably but idk it sorry #this was fun!! damian is strong and smart and capable and he won't let this stop him! #sure it's a shock but what does that matter when he has the love of his life by his side!! #he can get through this! at least his girlfriend's brother/original/...father? can't get his knight to stab him #that's a point in truce day's favour - even if damian is regretting asking to be introduced #in ellie's defence she thought he knew! he's slightly liminal himself she just assumed he could pick it up! ... he could not. #when they actually get there damian loves it - he fits right in with all the ghosts #there's a little adjustment period where he is VERY prickly with everyone but he gets the hang of it very quickly #all the ghosts are very impressed with his willingness to throw down and he has to be reminded by a very stern ellie that it's TRUCE DAY #stop fighting!! #ah i really enjoyed this thank you for the prompt! i hope you enjoy it too!! #as always it came out a lot longer than i intended - i don't know why i even bothered with the whole 'five sentences' #it was obvious i wasn't going to stick to it smh #anyway i hope you liked it!! #(also but sorry i prefer to call her ellie sorry i know i'm in the minority here haha) #my writing #(shit how is it four in the morning eep) #cab writes

[skrunksthatwunk]

thinking about when guts sent a bunch of his men directly into zodd's meat grinder without even knowing demons like him existed. and that moment after the fight where casca runs to griffith unconscious on the floor and tells guts it's all his fault. and the time gambino tells him he's bad luck and should have died instead. and about how he tells griffith he cares about his men, and how casca doesn't seem to see it. and the time guts is thinking about casca telling him it's all his fault (after he got griffith hurt) and then griffith comes to him and says (like it's nothing) do i need to give a reason every time i come to save you? or whatever. like he's worth it. like he's worth dying for, and like it can be a choice people make because they value you. like he's a good luck charm, like griffith needs him to reach his goals, his full potential. like griffith is not enough to make it without him. like griffith finds out when guts leaves. fuckin.g gnawing someone else's legs off because i still need mine to run into traffic

#so guess who's rewatching berserk 1997 lol #berserk #i hate griffith i hate him i hate him he's bad i hate him (<- deeply tragically attached to him. im so not normal about him it's fucked) #aghhh can't wait until break so i can read more. i've ended up just consuming the golden age arc over and over for various reasons #and it's so good it fucking rules i just need to keep reading past that too bc that's Also good #and i have! i just have more to read oh hey it's midnight my paper's due haha #(it's fine it doesn't matter genuinely i will be fine) #anyway my older sibling's been buying those bigass tomes they sell and he got a bunch more a while back so like. more to read more to read #also side note but they smell so fucking good it's actually unfair #but anyway i keep on being like nooo i gotta go start over so i can get the momentum and then i get brainstuck/distracted and don't actuall #get very far past the lost children subarc (which i've read i think 1.5 times now) #ANYWYA. berserk good. no i don't ever make content for it but every like 4 months or so it infects me quietly

[silverthelovebug]

My Pookie Wookie Bookie boo boo bear little meow meow sopping wet cat’s birthday!!!!!!! Awwwwd the skrunkly!!!!! Anyways guys did you know I Like Ride The Cyclone as well?

Hides my banner and pfp

Anyways I luv Ocean :3

#ride the cyclone #rtc #ride the cyclone fanart #ocean o'connell rosenberg #birthday #happy birthday #birthday art #she refuses to eat that cupcake unless she knows it’s kosher #I mean not like she can eat anyways #This is a swap Jane Doe au btw #Ocean has no head #And now it’s a Raggedy Ann doll #Bc haha ginger #Ocean is also 31 #I did the math #she can pay taxes now #She’s dead so it doesn’t matter anyways #But still!

[jojo-schmo]

This is not a criticism of people who make Kirby merch from memes!

But as someone who likes the entire franchise and it’s many characters other than Kirby, this is simply an observation I’ve made lately as a regular patron of artist alleys in the United States lol

#I don’t even see much Dedede or Meta Knight merch even #I’ve found one Bandana Dee charm in the #past year #maybe I’m going to the wrong conventions haha #but even the event I went to that was specifically kirby themed was maybe 50% edgy kirby memes #and 50% kirby alone on his warp star #I do not enjoy seeing Kirby with human body parts at all tho hahaha #maybe I can fill that market in my local artist events one day hehehe #I would just love to see one Magolor charm in the wild at a big convention in my state #or even one dedede or one dream team! #I haven’t even seen a meta knight yet! much to think about #anyway support your local artists no matter what the product they still work hard to make them!! #jojo rambles #Kirby series #art #kirbysona #tw blood #tw body horror #just in case #ask to tag #:)

[skitskatdacat63]

"To dream the impossible dream, that is my quest." - Prince Fernando of Asturias

+ Seb not getting what he ordered

+ the usual

Hello yes, look! It's baby Renault Fernando, isn't he so cute??? Who wouldn't want to force him into an arranged marriage, like cmon man be real. Here is the progress as usual, as well as his suit without the design, cause I'm pretty proud of it just blank even!

Okay so this is pure Fernando, innocent Fernando, before he had his apirations ripped way from him. Well not fully ripped away tbf, because that's the crux of his character: is it more humiliating to never succeed or to only succeed because someone handed it to you with concessions? I guess that's up for him to decide though ;;;

The thing I love about this drawing and young Fernando in general is how much easier it is to see his and Seb's similarities. Look how similar they look! Seb is just a bit more evil.

I think that's a big part as to why his feelings about Seb are so complicated. He both loves and hates how similar they are. From an egotistical point, he can appreciate and respect the familiar traits in Seb, the hunger, the exuberance, the pride, the ego. But also we hate seeing our own traits in other people, it's almost like turning a mirror on your worst traits and suddenly being able to see yourself from a new perspective. The biggest point here though is that Fernando turns that resentment onto Seb, as a way to clamp down on self hatred.

He becomes more bitter and resentful as he grows older, and loses a lot of his whimsy and joy. So it hurts him to see Seb, who in addition to getting everything he's ever wanted, also retain his whimsy. He, wrongly, just sees it as something that had to happen in order for him to grow up fully. It's more of a survival tactic, it started becoming unbefitting for him to have that level of unfounded confidence. That's the main reason he sees Seb as childish, immature and undeserving. He hasn't fully grown out of his capacity for whimsy and joy, and thus is below Fernando.

Well that was depressing oops! As the chibi art represents, this is probably a painting Seb got sent in the early days of planning their marriage. This is the Fernando who is still prideful, the Fernando who is still confident, the Fernando Seb vaguely remembers meeting his youth. Seeing this definitely pushes him even further towards the marriage(though tbf it's not like he even has a choice either.) Though when the time to actually start courting comes around, Fernando looks very uh different. This is both a joke about how different Fernando was in his first renault stint vs his second. But also I think he does show up very moody and disheveled, as a sort of last chance way to try and turn everyone on Seb's side, including Seb, off from the marriage. However, it's pretty much a done deal by that point.

Seb is uh, definitely confused, but I think he would be drawn to Fernando regardless. Actually, this might make Fernando even more appealing. Seb gets to push him all the time, try to break down his walls and get a glimpse at the real Fernando, if even just for a moment. Seb wishes he had more that just a blurry, vague recollection of Fernando at his peak confidence. Fernando definitely grows into something resembling his past self, after recovering from all the hurt, but there's just something about youthful exuberance that can't really be fully replicated.

Okay so about the quote. I went with Don Quixote this time instead of the typical Napoleon, because I thought it'd be funny. Fernando picks up the book at some point during his youth, and it inspires him a lot. He doesn't really see the satire in it, and comes to really admire Don Quixote's mentality, he's like "wow he never gives up! That's so admirable!" It definitely helps him through dark times to aspire to never give up no matter what. Though later Seb definitely rags on him for not knowing it was satire, and Fernando is like "wh-what do you mean satire?" But he's mentally strong enough atp for it to not cause his whole worldview collapse. About the quote specifically, there's definitely some part of him, even when young, that knows his aspirations are borderline impossible. I wonder if that part of him feels weirdly safe and comforted about the marriage. Yes, it's not ideal, but it's safe and secure. He gets what he wants, and there's no chance of anyone taking it away from him, no matter what.

I think his title would be Prince of Asturias? It was either that or duke, and I think prince fits him bettee(Machiavelli reference?) That title is currently the title for the heir to the Spanish throne. In this time period, it's also commonly used for the heir, but for Fernando it's a bit unsure. Like in real life, he's not directly the offspring, but he's still the most obvious choice for heir. But there's still enough room for Seb and his house to try to vie for the throne themselves, so it makes it all complicated.

#*btw that quote is from don quixote just so thats clear. creds to Cervantes lmfao. i explained in the read more why ! #hahahaha all my lore and tags and everything got deleted so i had to rewrite this all. original post you will live on fondly in my memories #^ i was half asleep writing it the 2nd time so i hope its still good? #its always going to be inferior to me but ig it doesnt rly matter bcs im the only one who actually got to read it ha #anyways super happy with this ahhhh!!! #it was so much fun to draw. i got to focus more on the fashion and its great as well bcs renault's colors are fire #im also glad to draw him bcs i feel like ive neglected hima bit compared to the others! its been a fair bit since ive drawn him #i cant remember what else i said here haha so ill just say hope ya like! #im still happy with the characterization notes and lore in the read more so def read it still!! #and as always please inquire if you have any thoughts or question abt the au #fernando alonso #f1 #formula 1 #<- it gets more and more absurd every drawing to tag this but ah tradition ig #catie.art #boy king au #vettonso

[zebratimw]

Spirit animal SQH

#svsss #shang qinghua #but mainly I'm just here to vague post LMAO I don't like to vague post its not very effective in terms of venting but #but basically I guess I'm becoming hyperaware of my like... cognitive dissonance codependency and derealization ee #also my general laziness ig and where it overlaps into executive dysfunction or whatever like I may genuinely have some issues but #I am also a lazy son of a bitch jfjfkgkg and i need to figure out how to figure it out so I can work on both in more effective ways hhggg #oh yeah but basically the thing to remember for later is the silence in the call and the immediate unmute and chat activity once I left #I should remember this and stop interacting I think? I should try to give em space I think I'm being too clingy or something #or maybe my own silence is too awkward and dampens the call? I was kinda just spacing out and not doing anything so I get its kinda weird #LMAO so I should just like try not to be in call for those times mm #I just like being in call with my friends jdhfkg but I suppose its not very good either #I overindulge I suppose another friend pointed it out to me before too haha but fjfjjt its just easier than facing bouts of dread by myself #eehh and that's why I gotta do something about my Metnal Ailneses hfjfj but ngl I don't really know how to go about it... #I get embarrassed looking stuff up djfnfkg and half the time I don't even know what to look up I just draw ?s and I give up #I suppose I also have commitment issues too but that ones not new which is an issue of itself aaaaaaaa #man idk idk I just don't really get it I guess djdjfjf and I've got existential dreads and think maybe it doesn't really matter whats wrong #cause there's no point to fixing them because ultimately I'm gonna die alone and a failure anyways? so like ehfjgkg idk #its depressing and I know its like sabotage cause my brain is being a little silly a little goofy and its not a shared sentiment #with the better half of me and the entirety of my friends but yknow its just ee harder sometimes to believe in the optimism ig #and i can talk about it somewhat normally and without like having a ✨️break down #but yknow djfjgkg I'm very emotional a person ya? I think sqh is relatable for gods sake 💀 #irrationality sentimentality nihilism and existential dreads... wanting to die because living is too hard despite all my hopes for living... #just the ol regulars yknow? #and another thing... do I talk to my friends about these things? I vent them out here a lot but what do I really want? #I'm not strong enough to keep it to myself clearly but I'm also too proud to share these thoughts? I dump them out in the open and for what? #whenever someone reaches out with concern and care I don't respond in kind and refuse to elaborate? #so like what do I want with this? I guess I want someone to know I'm going insane half the time I'm awake? but not do anything about it? #that's pretty unfair I guess... and stupid I think I do want to share my thoughts with someone but I'm too scared of the ramifications #and that my pride can't stand the fact I might be looked differently by my friends even tho the image they have of me is already quite silly #man.... idk.... I'll come to conclusions myself and do nothing about them so I guess that'll happen again aah idk idk idk

[cephalog0d]

Okay, but like. There's the whole joke about Bruce recruiting children to be his sidekicks, but honestly there's only really one that fits that.

And it's Jason. And the whole story there is, frankly, unhinged. Aaaaand then he died.

(I'm specifically talking about "first post-crisis origin stories" here because Jason and Dick, in particular, have both had multiple major retcons and revisions over the years, and some of them dramatically change how things happened.)

Like okay. Going backwards, you've got Duke who joined/led a whole Robin-based gang at a time when Bruce wasn't even Batman. You've got Damian and Cass, who were both literally born into the world of masks and capes and heroes and villains, so they weren't ever really not going to be part of it. Steph might have taken inspiration from previous heroes but she made her own identity and repeatedly refused to stop involving herself in the vigilante lifestyle. Tim, obviously, basically strong-armed Batman into letting him be Robin, despite Batman's protests.

Dick's a little more complicated just because there's so many versions, because that's what 80 years of comics and multiple universe reboots will do, and there's kind of a general trend that earlier pre-crisis versions were more of Batman being like "hello, child, would you like to be my sidekick" and later versions have leaned harder and harder into the idea that Dick was absolutely going to do this anyway, regardless of what Batman had to say about it. But even in the first post-crisis version, the flashback in Batman Year 3, Dick says he wants to find a way to keep people like that from hurting others again. When Alfred questions Bruce's offer to train him, Bruce says that Dick should learn to do things the right way if he's going to do it. It's not hard to extrapolate that, much like later versions of the origin story, Dick was going to get himself into this one way or another. (Batman (1940) #437)

And then there's Jason. Whose backstory has also had a lot of (sometimes major) revisions over the years (remember when his adoption was, like, some kind of Joker-originated long con? Fucken Nu52, man). But the original post-crisis version is pretty straightforward. Steals Batman's tires, gets caught and sent to Ma Gunn's Secret Criminal School, intervenes when Batman goes to investigate, immediately gets offered the chance to be Robin based entirely on that.

Which is itself kind of unhinged. That Bruce saw this kid who was living on his own stealing tires and went "Hey you would make a good Robin" as his very first instinct.

But if you've never read Jason's post-crisis origin, or it's been a while, it's honestly even more unhinged than that because that arc starts with Dick getting "fired" as Robin specifically for the reason that he got shot by Joker and Bruce freaked out about how the Robin identity has too many enemies and therefore Dick, a legal adult with approximately a decade of training and experience, should not use the identity anymore.

(And it's specifically about the Robin identity, in this version, because when Dick says he's not going to stop the crime fighting thing Bruce's response is basically "I know and I didn't expect you to". Honestly I could also say a lot about this version of the Robin/Nightwing transition vs. later ones and how this one definitely feels like the Heavy Hand of DC Editorial in the fact that they had no contact for so long afterwards, because the interaction really doesn't feel like it warrants that in this case compared to some later versions, but that's a whole other too-long ramble.) (Batman (1940) #408)

And then a few weeks later Bruce turns around and picks up a random kid, a literal child, and goes "Hey you would make a good Robin!"

And I think a lot about how fucking wild that is. And it's not like the people writing just didn't notice. Dick's big argument with Bruce when he finally comes back to Gotham and meets Jason isn't about the fact that Bruce took in another kid, or even necessarily about Dick feeling proprietary over the Robin identity, the thing he's angry about is that Bruce said it was too dangerous for him, an adult, someone who has trained with Batman for a decade and was already highly physically trained before that for his whole life, to be Robin, and now Bruce has turned around and painted that target onto some random new kid. He pushes, repeatedly, trying to get Bruce to justify himself and this absolutely irresponsible decision, and Bruce gives a lot of answers about how Jason was on a bad path and needed this outlet and eventually just admits that he missed having a partner. (Batman (1940) #416)

And like. Dick's right, is the thing. He is 1000% in the right in this argument. If he can't be Robin anymore because of the danger, how in the hell is it anything like a good idea to hand it over to someone way younger, way less trained, way less experienced, and expect that that wouldn't end in tragedy?

And then it did.

And yeah, Bruce, it is kinda a lot of your fault.

#And the punchline is Batman clearly should not get to choose his own sidekicks! Haha? #(Sorry this is a lot more serious than my usual Batfam shitposts it won't be a regular habit don't worry) #this is long and rambly but it's something i think about a lot #and it's on my mind extra because of an AU oneshot i'm working on finishing right now #and obviously there's eight kabillion versions of any given origin and reboots and retcons and they change drastically yadda yadda yadda #and also obviously there's always behind-the-scenes editorial choices and other factors when it comes to comics story events #story and character choices are frequently not just a matter of storytelling but of things like meeting editorial demand of What Must Happe #but just looking at the story as presented: the one time bruce specifically recruited someone as his sidekick that kid ended up dead for it #it does make narrative sense given this that bruce's reaction to most of the subsequent kids is initially 'go the fuck home and stop this' #and then only really yielding with the realization that they're totally going to do this shit anyway #jason todd #dick grayson #bruce wayne