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#not to sound like a parent but
aromanticduck · 7 days
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Sorry if you're already over 50, I ran out of room (you're welcome to leave your thoughts in the tags or replies!)
If you're younger than 10, get the fuck off Tumblr. People are saying swears on here!
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[EDIT: It's OK to vent a bit about negative feelings in the comments/tags, but if you're gonna talk about killing yourself, do me a favour and fucking don't]
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nelkcats · 9 months
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Parent's Day
Ghosts didn't have a father's or mother's day as such, but they did have a day where they combined both. A day to celebrate your guardians. Humans, Yetis, Amazons or Gods, it was a quiet day to thank them for your ghost adoption.
Dan and Ellie had spent a few years under the halfa's care but at the end of the day they considered him their guardian (although Dan did it reluctantly), so when they heard about Parent's Day they panicked.
They wanted to show Danny that they really appreciated him but a mug or coupons were not enough. In the end after some brainstorming they decided to give him the closest thing to a mug that was in the Realms: Constantine's complete soul.
John Contantine was a very annoying human, they knew this because they heard Danny complain about his paperwork many times. Apparently their father had 99% of his soul but couldn't do anything until he had 100%, and what better gift than to help him get rid of the paperwork? He hated paperwork! It was perfect!
With some help from Clockwork they traveled to DC's dimension, determined to take the last of the hellblazer's soul. Dan wondered if he should steal a star from the dimension while they were there (Danny liked space didn't he?), as an extra gift.
John Constantine was in the middle of explaining the holes in reality to the Justice League when a shiver ran through his body. He had an instant bad feeling.
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sunshines-child · 2 months
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Circe, Witch of Aiaia
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I have drawn Circe so many times and i've finally settle on a design that is largely different but I like a lot
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 3 months
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Words Collide
[First] Prev <--> Next
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angeldreamsoffanfic · 11 months
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“So how did you know?”
“Know what?”
“Y’know, how did you know.”
“Dingus, I’m gonna need you to spell it out for me here, the Russians did a number on how many of my braincells are actually working.”
“How did you know that you liked girls?”
Robin Buckley immediately pushed herself up so she was resting on her elbows, head tilted to catch Steve Harrington’s eyes in the low light of their hospital room.
They weren’t originally even going to go to the hospital, if Robin was being honest. They had just wanted to slip away back to their respective homes, but then Melissa and Richard Buckley caught wind that Robin was hurt. Then the both of them realized that Steve’s parents (if Robin has to use that term to describe them) had less than zero intention of sending anyone to pick up Steve.
Then EMS made the light suggestion of both of them probably needing to go to Hawkins General Hospital… and well, while Melissa and Richard did tend to lead toward more natural remedies… one couldn’t fix a concussion or a drugging with an unknown substance with essential oils and hope.
“Robbie? Did you OD over there?” Steve had himself up on his elbows, easily mimicking Robin. That’s the thing that makes the inside of Robin ache, that he’s so like her. She knows that she’s an only child, knows that, but sometimes Steve’ll just… do something and it makes her question it. Makes her wonder how she spent so long without him, without another brain and two legs and arms and so much hair. “Robbie?”
“No, I am still alive.” Robin slowly spoke, before she let out a soft sigh. “Why do you ask?”
“Like-” Steve huffed as he shook his head from side to side, before he used the one hand that was free from the pulse monitor and saline drip to card through his hair. It’s sleep ruffled, and if he uses product (Robin is sure he does), it’s for sure gone. Steve looks up though, and his eyes are so earnest that it causes something to hurt inside of Robin. “never mind just ignore- fuck - just ignore me.”
“I couldn’t ignore you if I tried, you idiot.” Robin let out a huff, and she winced as the PICC line in her arm shifted as tilted to be able to fully face Steve on her side. “But I just, dingus, this is out of left field for even you.”
“How so?”
“Did you even know that, that people like me even existed until a couple of hours ago?” Robin kept her voice soft, especially as Steve huffed out an indignant sounding sigh. Robin sighs though, and then she cards her own hand through her hair, and forges onward. “I think I’ve just… always known.”
“Always?”
“Yeah like-” Robin shrugged, a careful movement of her shoulders. “When I was like, eight? My uh, parents sent me to this camp thing- like summer camp kind of like what Dustin went to? But with, y’know, with the swimming and archery and dude I was fucking awful at it.” Steve let out a soft and watery laugh at Robin’s rambling, and that gave Robin enough power to continue. “But we uh, had these like songs we had to learn? And there was this uh, girl counselor there that had to teach me because you know, that was her job.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, and uh. She couldn’t have been older than I am now but man…” Robin let out a slow whistle, and allowed herself to fully melt into the hospital cot she’s laid up on. “All I could think was that I just wanted to be with her. Like not even kissing because I thought kissing was gross then, still do now kinda but anyway- I wanted to like, hold her hand and shit. Do the cheesy stuff I’d seen in the movies, y’know?”
Steve huffed out his own laugh, and he tilted his head to lean against his pillows instead of facing Robin. Robin watched though, quiet for once, as Steve swallowed once and then twice- before he cleared his throat.
“I knew it existed before you.”
“What?”
“It.”
“Dingus-”
“Girls liking girls.” Steve’s voice is barely above a whisper, even as Robin can hear him gulp in a lungful of air. “And boys liking boys.”
“You did?” Robin kept her voice quiet, gentle, as coaxing as she could- especially when she could see Steve’s throat bob. “Dingus?”
“I…” Steve doesn’t continue, and that’s enough.
Enough to Robin that she pushed herself up, and ignored the pain that ricocheted down her spine like needles. Ignored Steve’s hurried ‘what are-’, as she stumbled out of her hospital bed and right to Steve’s. She made sure to drag her IV pole and the monitor with her, situating it as best as she could next to Steve’s. Robin huffed quietly as the pain trickled down her spine, and she couldn’t help but smile as Steve curled his hand carefully around her wrist and tugged.
Robin got comfortable, let Steve fret over her as best as he could, his fingers only ever-so slightly trembling as he made sure that the line in her arm wasn’t kinked up. They were pressed close, side to side and hip to hip, and Robin tilted her head down until it was rested on Steve’s shoulder.
“Wanna keep going, Stevie?”
“No.”
“But?”
“I…” Steve huffed again, a small indignant noise that Robin mimicked.
They sat like that then, just the two of them for a moment, before Steve continued slowly.
“I’ve never, told anyone this- like I’ve told Tommy H. so much shit about me - but this is… Robin this is different.” Steve speaks in a hurried and stilted way, like he’s stringing together bits and pieces of sentences, and it shouldn’t work.
But it does because he’s Steve and she’s Robin.
And truthfully, Robin likes that. That they’re Steve and Robin. SteveandRobin. RobinandSteve. Likes that the two of them are so in tune that even her own mother didn’t want to separate them.
That had to mean something in the end, didn’t it?
“Tell me, whatever… whenever.” Robin murmured as she turned her head so she could press a soft kiss to Steve’s shoulder. The hospital gown is thin enough she can feel the heat of his skin from up under it, and that’s grounding. Grounding even as Steve drew in a shaky breath, audibly swallowing again. “Whenever you’re ready, I’m here.”
“I didn’t uh, notice Tammy in Ms. Click’s class or uh, you for a reason.” Steve slowly spoke, eyes wet, and Robin can hear his sniffle as he tried to reign his emotions back. “Ms. Click made him sit uh, right by her desk at the front of the room.”
And oh.
Oh.
If that doesn’t immediately settle something that just usually writhes around in Robin’s chest.
“Him?” Robin is gentle, gentler than she thinks she’s ever been.
“Uh, yeah… Eddie Munson?” Steve huffed out an almost dry laugh, the only thing that he does that ever remotely reminds her of his time as his high school “King Steve” persona. “He uh, got this bat tattoo right before that year’s Thanksgiving break and all I could do was just… gawk at him.”
“And then what?” Robin knew she was pushing, searching for information, but she can’t help it. Not when Steve is right next to her, hip to hip and thigh to thigh. Not when he’s like her. In all the ways that matter.
“I went home and screamed into my pillow.”
Robin immediately smacked Steve’s thigh with the knuckles of her left hand- grinning in triumph when Steve let out a squawk of laughter.
“Eddie Munson?”
“What about him?”
“He’s… he’s a total dud!”
“No he’s not!”
“He stepped in my mashed potatoes once! That is totally total dud material!”
“No way!”
“He wants to be like, like a metal singer!”
“He has a band! Dreams!”
“Do you even know if he can hold a tune?”
“Well, no-”
“Total. Dud.”
Robin grinned wide as Steve launched into a very quick defense about Eddie, and she decides then and there that Steve and her? They’ll be just fine.
Especially if she can get Eddie to come into Steve and her’s orbit just a bit, to see if the crush is still there.
Because while Robin may not have all of the gay knowledge in the world, there is one thing for a complete certainty that she knows.
The black hanky that Eddie kept in his pocket?
Well…
Robin chuffed to herself, before she tilted so she could lay on her side- nose tucked into the place where Steve’s neck and shoulder met.
Right before she falls asleep though, Robin does a very important thing on a mental whiteboard.
You Rule: 1
You Suck: 0
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hope you all enjoyed! truthfully think this is one of my favorite things i have written. love platonic stobin. <3
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sea-buns · 3 months
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Sometimes Brennan will just be explaining the mechanics of a situation but the terminology is so completely insane that my brain has a crisis about the reality we live in
"If the Night Yorb gets within 5 feet of the sigil on top of the van, AND it is bloodied, then it can be sealed away for the rest of time."
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puppetmaster13u · 5 months
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Prompt 84
Amity Park absolutely adores her little ghostling, her little Gatekeeper who was of her own ectoplasm, reborn from her own blood in the center of her new heart. She absolutely adores her baby, practically a newborn, being only a year dead! 
So of course she had to gush and boast about her little phantom to the other city spirits! They all got together to gossip sometimes after all. And both Smallville and Fawcett started to gush about their own little ones back! 
Gosh they should set up a playdate at some point, her little phantom could use some friends in the mortal realm. Well some more friends, three is obviously not enough. Oh, Gotham and Bludhaven have come over as well! It’s a playdate then! 
Now if only each of their world’s timelines were synced up, but at least everyone is around the same age! 
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crybaby-bkg · 6 months
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new dad Bakugou who’s going back to work full time almost a full year after his daughter his born and he now has to grapple with the fact that….goddamn, he’s spoiled the shit outta her.
well, he doesn’t think it was spoiling her. in actuality, he just created a routine with her, gave her every bit of his attention, held her when she cried, scolded her (yes just at eight months) whenever she’d babble for more puffs even though she’s had enough already. it wasn’t spoiling, it wasn’t. he vowed to never be that dad, to raise a snot nosed brat, one similar to himself.
but here he is, on a Tuesday morning three weeks after her first birthday. he’s standing halfway between the front door and the living room in full uniform, with his still sleepy baby and her even sleepier mama. she’s gripping his neck like he promised to abandon her, wailing and crying so loud and dramatically, that you can’t help but chuckle at her antics and how he wavers ever so slightly.
“You promised you’d go back to work,” you scold him gently, rubbing at your daughters quivering back when she whines again the moment he acts like he’s gonna pull her off. Bakugou frowns at you, and you shrug, smoothing her unruly blond curls away from her sticky forehead.
“But you guys need me.” He pouts, eyebrows downturned as he pulls her away enough to wipe at her wet face. she blubbers again, whimpering out a small dadaaaa noooo, that absolutely breaks his heart.
“And so does the world.” You smile at him, gently pulling your daughter away from the matching glassy red eyes who watch her go. “We’ll be fine, my love. Promise.”
Bakugou looks unconvinced, especially since your daughter reaches for him with another cry of his name. you don’t say anything when he sniffles discreetly, quickly reaching down to the coffee table to snatch up his utility belt that he dropped when she waddled out of her room in tears. he snaps it on wordlessly, and you go to turn to the kitchen when he wraps you both up in his arms.
“Love you,” he whispers against your forehead before pecking it, leaning down to kiss your lips next, and then your daughter’s fat little cheeks. He whispers another love you to her, and wipes away at her rosy cheeks when she pouts at him.
“Rub you.” your daughter pouts, the both of you freezing in shock.
“Oh my god,” you whisper, grinning. “She said I love you back!” Bakugou matches your grin, laughing under his breath as he presses another torrent of kisses all of her face. for the first time since she’s opened her eyes today, she laughs, loud and joyous and familiar. he thinks that maybe going back in today won’t be so bad after all. not if this is what he’ll be coming home to.
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aye-of-newt · 6 months
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he's wearing this when he rolls up to the final boss fight to annihilate fowler’s pasty ginger ass and win full custody of mizu
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call-me-strega · 7 months
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How to Become a Step-Dad in 5 Easy Steps: part 1
Jason meets Single Dad Danny who is taking care of a de-aged Dani while trying to get his degree at Gotham U. Both of them fall hard, hijinks and shenanigans ensue, simping on both sides.
Edit: background info/lore found here
Edit: part 2 now found here
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Step 1: Meet an attractive single parent
As a Crime Lord/vigilante Red Hood had multiple safe houses that he used in and out of the mask. Some were for each exclusive identity to prevent anyone from linking them together and others used for both. Currently, Jason was walking out of his 2nd favorite safe house and the mostly permanent residence of “civilian and non-profit worker: Jason Todd” with a plate of cookies and a pan full of lasagna for his new neighbors that moved in two doors down. He may have been a street rat but he’d be damned if Alfred and Talia hadn’t taught him hospitality (it was a fact of life that grandparents and Asian people would try to feed their guests like their honor depended on it). Plus it was a great way to do some reconnaissance on whether or not these new neighbors could potentially pose an issue. The apartment complex was on the border of Crime Alley and Burnley meaning the people who lived there weren’t doing too hot money-wise but were at least able to avoid the worst of Crime Alley. Jason was just planning to go over introduce himself, hand over the homemade food, and head off to a different safe house to get his gear and patrol. However, he was not expecting to see his new neighbor standing outside struggling to open his own door, a six-year-old on his hip, arguing with someone over the phone. The young man had a lean build and appeared to be no older than 20, give or take a year or two. He had black bangs that cast a shadow on his face making his eye-bags appear even darker and startling blue eyes clouded with anger and resentment, likely towards whoever was on the phone. He was so occupied with his conversation he didn’t seem to notice that someone else had stepped into the hallway. He was wearing dark blue jeans and a loose white shirt with a NASA logo on it that slightly hung off his shoulder. He also wore a black hoodie with a white hood and neon green accents that seemed to be subject to his sister(?)’s death grip. Despite his disheveled state, there was something about his new neighbor that drew him in. His aura washed over Jason like a cool breeze on a hot day making it hard for Jason to look away. He would have continued assessing the man if he hadn’t made eye contact with the identical blue eyes of the young girl perched on his hip, who looked at him with a curious sparkle in her eyes. He discreetly turned back around to lock his own door, trying to eavesdrop on the conversation the elder (brother?) seemed to be having. It could provide some info on these new neighbors.
“-shut up Vlad! I’m not moving into your rich guy penthouse! I wouldn’t be taking any of your shady money if I didn’t need child support for Ellie!”
Huh. So her dad/guardian then?
“ Of course I have to do this Vald! What’s the other option, sending her back to a Frootloop like you?! … I’m not going to abandon Ellie for something that wasn’t her choice. She didn’t ask to be created Vlad that’s why she gets a chance.”
Okay so setting aside the rather concerning parts New Neighbor Guy™️ was definitely that child’s parent. Seems fairly rational as well.
“How do I know you’d be a terrible guardian? Plenty of reasons, do you want the list chronologically or alphabetized! You violated me, who you said you wanted to adopt despite me having two living parents, you created Ellie and several other failed attempts without my knowledge, you hid her from me, you tried to teach her to hate me before we even met, you named her Danielle after me instead of giving her her own identity, the list goes on and on Vlad! Do you want me to continue because that’s just the stuff that involves Ellie— I was 14, you middle-aged vampire look-alike! Of course I wasn’t jumping at the chance to become a teen dad! I was a freshman in high school! Besides you know what my parents are like, lab safety regulations were more like a healthy suggestion to them. I was in no position to be taking care of a child!”
Rage flashed in Jason’s eyes as he tightened his grip on his glass Tupperware pan full of lasagna. This conversation was not painting a pretty picture about his neighbor’s situation. He took a deep breath trying to calm himself before belatedly realizing his neighbor had gotten real quiet. He turned around, catching the tail end of his neighbor’s conversation as he finally succeeded in opening the door.
“Whatever Vlad, just keep paying your child support and for Ancients’ sake please stop trying to date my mom. …. Yeah, yeah screw you too Count Chocula.”
The neighbor set his daughter down, likely so she could enter the apartment, and slipped his phone from between his head and shoulder into his hand to hang up on that Vlad guy. Now seemed like as good a time as any to approach. Jason walked up the the young man and coughed trying to get his attention. The young man met Jason’s eyes with a somewhat surprised look. As if he wasn’t unaware of Jason’s presence but hadn’t expected him to talk to him. Jason decided he should start speaking now before things got too awkward.
“Uh- Hi, I’m Jason. I live a few doors down in 357,” he said glancing at the 353 on his neighbors’ door before he continued. “I heard you moving in a few days ago and thought I’d swing by with some food to welcome you to the building.” He stuck out his hand for the other to shake.
“Hi I’m Danny, Danny Nightingale,” he said taking Jason’s hand and ‘Wow his hands are cold’, “ and this little munchkin here is Ellie!” Danny and Ellie flashed him matching smiles like twin suns making Jason's heart melt. He returned their smiles before extending the food to Danny.
“ I don’t know if you’ve had time to get groceries yet but here’s some homemade lasagna if you need a quick meal while you’re getting settled,” he then crouched down to Ellie’s level and stage-whispered in her ear conspiratorially “ and there are some chocolate chip cookies on that plate too.”
Ellie giggled out a thank and threw her arms around Jason’s neck, giving him a quick hug before letting go and dashing into the apartment. Jason watched her go, stunned but feeling warm and fuzzy inside. He turned his attention back to Danny, who shook his head and huffed amusedly. They made eye contact as Jason rose and realized he was a head taller than the guy. He felt the heat expanding in his chest and crawling up his neck, curling behind his ears. He decided now that Ellie had gone in it would be a good time to talk to Danny about what he overheard.
“ So it really wasn’t my intention to do so but I overheard some of that conversation you were having over the phone earlier,” he watched Danny’s smile drop a bit as he winced. Jason awkwardly brought up his hand to scratch the back of his neck and continued.
“ Look I don’t wanna insert myself into your situation but if you ever need help I’m just a few doors down. And if that guy gets pushy or stops sending his child support I can help you find a couple of avenues you can take. Plus, although we’re technically outside Red Hood’s territory I’m sure he wouldn’t mind extending protection over you like he does for the other Crime Alley folk if ya really need it.”
Danny’s face smoothed out looking a bit flushed and appreciative as he went on. He gave Jason a small smile and replied, “ Thank you for the offer. I really do appreciate it. Might just take ya up on it at some point. As for Red Hood? I think I’ll avoid needing the protection of a crime boss vigilante if I can help it. Don’t worry too much about Vlad though. I’ve got him handled currently and he’ll behave if he knows what’s good for him!” Danny smiled threateningly towards the end of his reassurance. (‘His canines are peaking out that’s so cute’)
Jason chuckled with Danny as their eyes locked once more. They stayed lost in each others’ eyes for what seemed like hours before they heard a thump followed by a small “oof” coming from inside the apartment. Danny turned to the door and called out to Ellie,
“Ellie, what was that? Are you okay”
“I’m fine! My shirt just fell!”
“That sounded heavier than a shirt?”
“I was in it!”
Danny sighed, shaking his head before turning to Jason once more.
“Thank you again for the food, any chance you’d like to come in and have something to drink?”
“Thanks for the offer but I’ll have to decline. I need to start heading out for work.”
“Well then, I shouldn’t keep you. I’d hate to make you late for work.” He waved goodbye as Jason nodded his head and started walking down the hall.
His neighbors seemed entirely harmless he decided as he walked away. ‘The kid was cute’ he thought to himself. A smaller voice from the back of his head that sounded vaguely like the Pits chimed in ‘Her dad was even cuter.’
~~~~~ Please let me know what you guys think and if you want to see more of this. I thrive on feedback so feel free to leave any notes or comments!
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scatterbrainedbot · 4 months
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Hello :D
You're so cool
Anyway have you thought that in your rat sons au Splinter might outlive the boys?
You're very cool :D love your stuff dude
(tw for some blood, light gore, implied overdose (kinda??))
hi copper!!! this is a fantastic question!
so obviously typical irl rats have far shorter lifespans than the average irl tortoise. according to google (yes, be awed by my spectacularly in-depth wealth of research) the average pet rat lives between 2-4 years ish, and the oldest on record lived to be about 7. meanwhile, an African spurred tortoise (Splinter's species) averages more around a 50ish year lifespan in captivity, tho is suspected to possibly exceed 75 or more in the wild.
Now, the mutation does give us a lot of wiggle room for playing with these numbers. For the rat sons boys, id say their natural lifespan probably clocks in at about 45-55 years old? definitely not old by human standards, but not young young either. (though, its also important to note that the boys were exposed to the mutagen just days after being born.)
For Splinter, meanwhile, aging is slightly more complicated. He lived the vast majority of his life as a regular normal African spurred tortoise (well, non-mutated at least. there were perhaps some shenanigans of a more mystical variety going on before he was mutated, but thats a separate matter) He was about 70ish i think? when the boys were born and they were all exposed to the mutagen. so he is already distinctly an old man turtle papa. id guess he'd probably still have another eh lets say 25-30 years after his mutation. he could probably push it a little farther even with some mystic nonsense, but when push comes to shove id say his 'natural' post-mutation lifespan would put his death like a solid decade or two before his sons.
of course, the tricky part of the matter is that theres no way for Splinter to know any of this. theres no way for him to know how the mutation affected them all, or if it even affected them all in the same way. especially since the boys dont show many physical signs of mutation for the first few years, and just kinda look like normal rats, (albeit with a more human sort of intelligence) — what sort of health standard do you hold them to? what if they simply dont show external signs of sickness or old age anymore? how do you actually know if something is wrong?
for a while there Splinter is very worried that one of his babies will just essentially reach the end of their normal rat lifespan, fall and not get up again.
so mostly, he just tries to live in the moment, enjoying whatever time he does have with his little ones, taking each day as a gift <3
still,
that fear
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never
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really
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goes
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away.....
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ryllen · 5 months
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#mtas#my time at sandrock#mtas wei#mtas builder#fanart#i found my true love target ; v ;#the smiling type is the ones that truly snatch my heart#they bring me the utmost joy#as much ironic it is unsuur makes me unsure of the rest of the stage after confession#i just thought i marry him in case the builder parents come and there would be some kind of scene over it like in portia#till the very last minute my heart was somehow still half in about it#tho in the game unsuur is read very close as 'unsure' i actually pronounce it differently bcs it's close to something in my language#unsur : means element; i thought that's nice bcs it feels closely to rock related thing#https://translate.google.com/?sl=id&tl=en&text=unsur&op=translate#if anyone even interest the slightest on how it sounds when pronounced by me here's the google translate link#but yea i'm dying that it is literally being pronounced 'unsure'#pls help him he just needs to be given a chance to command so he can learn to do independent thinking from experience#like yeah probably there would be lots of mistake at first#but u're like a mom justice who decides everything for the child so when u ask the child they just be like don't know ask mom fshdshd#he needs to be put out there#or had that been done justice if so i am sorry ; v ;#but seriously i'm dying when i kept adventuring with justice and logan and unsuur was just told to wait like a puppy fhsdh#he needs to be taught how to decide things by himself seriously#it's honestly hard to write unsuur's character#like no matter how u tried somehow it doesn't feel as close as funny or as serious deadpan like the original#wei here is like a piece of white paper i can scribble whatever i want#it's unexpected#but i ended up liking wei
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ryan-sometimes · 4 months
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Is it just me or is Gen Z losing some respect for Millennials because of the way they’re raising Gen Alpha? Like we are constantly seeing stuff about how Gen Alpha is being raised as “iPad kids” and how detrimental it’s becoming to their education, and it’s coming with some resentment towards Millennials
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chandralia · 1 year
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me, getting my shipping goggles ripped off and forced to look at bkdk: NOOOOOOOOOOO—oh it’s exactly the same
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stewyhosseini-bf · 1 year
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braimin · 2 months
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40yo zosan. Thoughts?
Boy oh boy I have many scattered brained thoughts on 40yo zosan
They live together in the All Blue, obviously. But I personally don't think it happens immediately. The first like twelve years after Sanji finds his All Blue he stays by himself and eventually with Zeff as they build a Baratwo. (get it ? cause it's the second one lol)
Zoro isn't ready to leave Luffy or the rest of the crew just yet, so they part ways. Sanji thinks Zoro just won't come back, I mean, it's not like they made a promise to each other or anything. Sanji genuinely thinks that's the end of it until a thirty something Zoro shows up in his restaurant and just. never leaves.
They fight about it constantly for the first year cause why would you disappear for a decade and think you can just come back like nothing has changed ? Sanji considers actual murder every day and Zoro is like come on Cook get over it already. He does not, he ends up making the marimo sleep outside for that comment.
They figure it out eventually after their year long big fight. Zoro kinda sorta proposes ? It really shouldn't be called a proposal cause all that happens is that Sanji wakes up one morning with one of Zoro's earrings in his lobe and when he asks the idiot is just like 'its yours now, you don't wear rings when you cook, right ?'
The years after that are easier but still incredibly chaotic. They're Straw Hats after all. So they have people showing up to challenge them and marines will come by every now and then and try to take them down. It never works so for the most part if a marine ship pops up they're usually only there for the food. Zoro gets so many people coming for his title and he does what Mihawk did to him and brings out a little baby katana to fight with. Sanji makes a comment about it's size matching the size of something else every time and it never stops being funny to him.
I think when they finally hit their forties they've mellowed out some and their dumb little arguments start to really sound like an old married couple's. Zoro is absolutely useless around the restaurant. He's not allowed to drink very much so he picks up fishing, and since Zeff is getting old he's not allowed in the kitchen as much so they start fishing together. They shit talk Sanji the whole time and Sanji can't really do anything about it cause if he stops them from fishing they'll start getting in his way again and bothering his kitchen staff.
Zoro puts on weight as he gets older. He starts to look like those heavyweight lifters and it makes his already large figure even more imposing. He's not drinking as much as he used to so all that weight is really coming from the fact that the cook is always giving him food. Sanji is surprised at how much he likes the fact that he's the reason Zoro gained weight and it looks so good on him.
Sanji gets his first grey hair at some point and it sparks a whole crisis about how old he looks. Zoro thinks it's all fun and games until Sanji starts crying around about how old Zoro looks and how he expected him to be the first one to start going down hill. It becomes a real genuine fight that puts them both through this stupid phase where they're doing dumb stuff to look younger even though neither of them actually give a shit about what the other looks like in old age.
Zeff starts to say things here and there about the lack of children around the restaurant when they hit their forties too. At first it goes over Sanji's head so when he hears it he's like why would people bring their kids through the Grand Line just for a restaurant, old man ? Zoro does get it surprisingly enough. And it gets him thinking of having a little swordsman or lady running around and he's shocked at how much he likes the idea. Sanji on the other hand, hates the idea. He's terrified he'll turn into something like Judge and he just can't take that chance. Zoro is okay with that, of course. He loves Sanji and will continue to live happily with him with or without kids in the mix.
It stays like that for a bit until they go on vacation with the Straw Hats and some small blonde girl pops up and tries to challenge Zoro to a fight. He accepts cause the look in this kid's eye reminds him of Kuina and he doesn't get challenged by kids like that very often. She's a good fighter and takes her loss with a dignity he isn't used to seeing. When they all leave the docks Zoro tells the crew about this cool little kid he fought and how he hopes he'll get to fight her again some day when she was ready. Then they hear yelling in the galley and go to check it out and find that that little girl stowed away on their ship.
Luffy and Zoro find it hilarious and when she starts arguing with Sanji their laughter only gets worse. After a long discussion, Nami and Sanji decide to drop her off on the next island. The others are a little sad about it but Zoro understands and he'll make sure before they leave that she's being left in good hands. Except it doesn't really end that way because on the two week trip to the next island Sanji keeps looking at her blonde hair and round face and thinking about her future. She's an orphan and alone; she's small for her age and he can tell it's from malnutrition, Chopper confirms that assumption.
When they finally hit that island Sanji is so reluctant to let her leave. He stalls the whole day, insisting that they can't leave her without a good meal and a proper wardrobe, and she should have books to read and lets make sure she has good shoes and really Marimo, is that sword gonna last her ? Maybe we should-
After like the fifth hour both Zoro and the kid are over it, and she screams that if he's that worried he should just take her with them. Sanji stands there for a minute and is like oh. Maybe we should ?
When they get back home Zeff thinks she's a perfect addition to their little family. She's loud and kind of feral and anytime Zoro and Sanji start to fight she just has to throw in her own little jabs at both of them. Zoro and Zeff spend less time fishing and more running her around and teaching her some of the worst habits. She doesn't spend much time in the kitchen but she can tell the difference in the kitchen staff's cooking and will throw a fit if she's not given Sanji's cooking.
Running the Baratwo (yes i will keep calling it that) and now having a kid means Sanji is getting more stressed. A lot of his crew are trying to push him out of the kitchen so he can spend more time with his husband and daughter but it doesn't really work in the beginning. Zoro knows how Sanji can be so he lets the cook work how he wants at first, but then he sees how it's starting to bother their girl and it makes him realize that yeah, he wants his man out of that kitchen more too.
They have to outright kidnap him to be able to spend time with him because even after all this time Sanji still can't tell when people want him closer. But Sanji gets it after a while and then he starts taking more breaks and days off. There's a smaller ship attached to the Baratwo where they live away from their staff and on his off days Sanji and Zoro will sit on the deck and watch their kid go through her training regimen and they'll play little games and it reminds him of the days on the Merry when everything was simple.
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