#there are canon things I talk about with irl friends that sound so fake !!!!!!

[chandralia]

me, getting my shipping goggles ripped off and forced to look at bkdk: NOOOOOOOOOOO—oh it’s exactly the same

#there are canon things I talk about with irl friends that sound so fake !!!!!! #like yeah Bakugo DID stand out in the rain and apologized to Deku even though he HATES the rain #and yeah he DID catch Deku in his arms :( #he DID sacrifice himself for Deku (TWICE) and ‘died’ with Izuku’s name on his lips #this is why I always have screenshots on hand ​but in the same way a parent has a picture of their family in their wallet 🥲 #bkdk #dkbk #bakudeku #dekubaku #:’) #mha spoilers #bnha spoilers

[bittermoonswrites]

For the writer Ask thing, well I kinda want to Ask everything but it may be pretty invasive and time consuming so what about anything between 2, 4, 7, 18 and 23 ?

Thanks you !

(from the asks here!)

I am a classic writer that cannot shut up ever about writing (to the detriment of my friends and family) and I'm pretty free because of the holidays atm, so feel free to ask more if you have burning questions still!

2. how do you come up with plot ideas?

It depends! A lot of times I start with a setting or a vibe first, stick some characters in, have them do weird things, and voila! Plot. I probably sound like Hinata in Haikyuu talking about volleyball with his goofy sound effects, but plotting is not something I'm naturally good at as a writer IMO. I tend to prefer writing heavily character-driven stuff that relies on small changes in character dynamics scene to scene, so I start off with a relationship (whether that's romantic, platonic, familial, etc.) with natural friction and let it move.

As for story concepts (like where my weird AUs come from), I get inspired from stuff I see IRL. For example, my mixed feelings about rainbow capitalism during Pride Month a couple years ago inspired a satosugu lawyer fake dating fic. A jazz bar I visited on a work trip helped inspire there and back again. Stuff like that.

4. how do you channel characters' voices and personalities?

Hmm this is a really good question! from my personal experience, creative writing tends to stem from the subconscious, especially with first drafts. It's a bit of a non-answer, but character voice and personality mostly comes from the subconscious for me. Then I go back and edit it for consistency. I was definitely trying to channel a bit of Jane Austen into there and back again, though.

I do think about how a character would react if I ran into them at a coffee shop, or if I happened to overhear their convo on the train, what would they be talking about?

7. handling writers' block/creative stagnation

If I get writers' block on something, it usually means I fucked up somewhere. (I talk a little more about an example of a serious block that led me to stop working on a fic I put a lot of time into here). I usually just stop and work on something else.

With creative stagnation, it probably means I need to go off to do something else in real life that isn't writing for a bit. There are times that seem to happen once every couple years where it feels like everything I write is kind of same-y and uninteresting, and that usually means I'm due for a significant level-up soon. When this happens I'll go off and change things up by writing a different medium (like poetry, nonfiction, etc.) and then come back after a break.

18. have there been any fics or authors that have been influential or inspiring to you?

So many! I consider myself a reader first before a writer. A few fic writers whose work never gets old:

kittebasu (Daiya no Ace, Case Closed/Detective Conan, Haikyuu): all hits no misses here. I blame kittebasu for my love of celebrity AUs hahaha.

mediest (Fire Emblem: 3 Houses): far from born again has to be one of my all-time fave fics, and I think it can be read without any knowledge of canon. Simply gorgeous, ripped my heart out.

ronsenburg (Ace Attorney): youngblood, a study of a doomed, super toxic, on-again, off-again relationship, is my favorite, but again, all hits no misses.

Some authors whose work I love:

Kazuo Ishiguro: I've read all his novels except The Unconsoled, which I guess makes me a megafan. His best IMO are Never Let Me Go (sci-fi dystopia), The Buried Giant (Arthurian fantasy), and The Remains of the Day (very quiet novel about 20th century British butler deep in denial)—he's got something for everyone.

Karen Russell: Orange World is my favorite of her short story collections, but they're all very fun and very weird.

Nghi Vo's Singing Hills novellas

Anything translated from Korean to English by Anton Hur.

I have lots more recs but I've already taken up too much wordcount here haha, so onto the next one!

23. how do you write endings for your fics? open-ended or conclusive conclusions?

Depends! I don't outline, so I go with whatever is most natural when I get to the ending.

#bittermoons has asks!

[chordata-on-alterhumanity]

The Chordata Guide to Otherlinking

Hello! This is a guide written from my own experiences, and a tiny bit of consulting with other ‘linkers. If you can think of ways to improve this, let me know, and I’ll update the original post. This is Version 1.1.

What is otherlinking? What is a linktype?

Otherlinking is the active choice of identifying as something. This sounds very vague, so let’s have an example: Imagining yourself as a lion makes you more confident, so you like doing that frequently. Identifying as a lion becomes a part of your identity.

For many of us, otherlinking includes consciously taking on traits of out linktype (imitating/“fake it ‘til you make it” OR strengthening already existing traits by focusing on them through a linktype). This is a form of mindfulness training. For example: I would like to be as calm and collected as insert-fictional-character. In stressful situations, I think “How would they react?” and try to act that way by imagining myself as them. If this revolves around already existing traits, a linktype can help amplify those traits.

Let's get some vocabulary out of the way first, for everyone who comes across this and isn’t familiar with otherlinking.

● Linktype / Otherlink / 'link- A voluntary identity a person takes on. I.e. I identify as a woodpecker because I want to. This identity can be of a real existing or extinct animal or plant, a mythological being, a fictional being or person, an object, a concept, et cetera.

● Otherlinker - A person with a linktype.

● Otherlinking - The act of having a linktype.

● Copinglink / C'link - A subcategory of linktype. A copinglink is a linktype created for coping with trauma, stress, et cetera.

● Copinglinker - A person with a copinglink.

● Copinglinking - The act of having a copinglink.

Requirements

You might ask yourself: "I want a linktype. What're the requirements to get one?" Well, you already got all the requirements down. To take on a linktype, you need to want one. Whether you feel compelled to take one on, or you feel it could help you in some way, or you decide you want to try this just for the heck of it, it's all valid. You want, you can.

How?

This is the trickier part, and it varies from person to person. I will give a basic rundown. Adjust this for your personal needs where you see fit.

1. Find your being/thing/concept.

2. Examine your reasons for why you want to call this yourself.

3.a. Your reasons for wanting the linktype might already be enough to make the identity feel right.

3.b. If you don't feel yourself clicking with the potential 'link, and struggle with identifying as it, analyze it to find the traits that don't resonate with you. You can change parts of the 'link, or view it through a different lens to make it feel closer to home. I.e. For fictional characters, it can help to disengage from fandom interpretation, or canon characterization, and instead put your own spin on them.

4. Once you've established a connection, you can reinforce it if you want to. A linktype can feel very faint at the start, so here are some examples for what you can do to make it feel more 'You':

● Wear clothing you can associate with the 'link.

● Inform yourself about new hobbies that you can associate with your linktype. I.e. If your linktype is an archer and you've never tried archery before, see if you can find an archery range open to newbies nearby.

● If you are a visual artist, create drawings of your linktype in a way that relates to your irl person. I.e. Draw the linktype in your clothes, or in irl places you've been in person.

● If you're a writer, write something including your linktype in a way that relates to you. I.e. Include them in a story inspired by real life events that have happened to you.

● Make the linktype your social media profile picture.

● Let people know they can use the linktype's name as a nickname for you.

● Change your social media alias/username to be related to the linktype’s name.

● Talk to people who will treat you as your linktype (and not just view it as roleplaying).

Don't be ashamed of expressing yourself in fear of other people’s opinions. Unless you're dependent on them (for money, safety, or other physical and mental health needs), it doesn't matter what they think.

Caution

If at any point in your journey you notice that a linktype makes you feel worse about yourself than you do without the linktype (i.e. feeding into anger, self-hatred), stop it. These dangers can already crop up during the ‘link creation process. Here are ways to go about this, and possible causes:

● Stop engaging with it. This sounds very 'It'll go away if I ignore it long enough', but that's exactly it. A linktype should fade when you don't engage with it anymore. Don't approach this by thinking "I'm not allowed to think about this anymore", but instead, every time when your linktype comes up, acknowledge it, and replace that thought with something else. If you struggle with this, examine what 'triggers' you to think of your linktype. Mindfulness is a powerful thing that often goes underestimated.

● Replace it with a different linktype that doesn't bring these problems.

● If your linktype started off without these issues, try to find out what caused it to change to become negative. Maybe there are other factors in your life that're putting stress on you and it shows through your linktype.

● Maybe you’ve outgrown your linktype. People can change over time, and your linktype could be preventing you from taking the next steps for personal growth, and this can negatively influence your well-being. Try letting go of the linktype. It might turn out the be a freeing experience.

● Talk to a therapist (, or, if you can’t access therapy, an understanding friend). Yes, tell them specifically about the linktype and the problems you have with it. A second person can shine a light on aspects you didn’t notice.

Good to know

A linktype can become an integral part to yourself, and at some point you might find it hard to separate it from yourself. Is this still a linktype? Is it a kintype (otherkin)? That is for you to know and decide. The lines can be blurry, and at the end of the day you are the only person who can decide what labels you want to use and what community has the most in common with you (if you even want to label yourself and interact with ppl w similar experiences). Unless it is harming you (or others), a linktype turned integral is nothing bad. Our environments shape us as people constantly, and a linktype over time can contribute similarly.

🐟

That’s it! If you have questions or need help, feel free to contact me through Asks or DMs. If I’m unavailable, search around a bit to find other otherlinkers who might be able to help you. ♡

#otherlink #copinglink #linktype #voluntary identity #otherlinking #copinglinking #otherlinker #copinglinker #c'link #quoiluntary #alterhuman #fictionlinker #fictionlink #otherlink guide #own post

[fific7]

Fake or Fortune

For @omgrachwrites 1K Follower Celebration - congratulations!

AU: Fake Relationship

Billy Russo x Reader

A/N: This does not follow canon, it takes place in my Alternative S1 Punisher Universe, with Arrogant!Billy in attendance.

Warnings: 18+ NSFW due to sexual content, slightly questionable consent, some dom/sub interaction, oral and unprotected* sex between consenting adults. Swearing and drinking.

*Irl, please don’t go wild in the country without protection.

(My Photo Edit)

Karen put a large G&T down in front of you, accompanied by a sympathetic look. You picked it up and took a large sip, sighing as you put it back down again.

“I give up, Karen. No matter what I do, without fail I either pick the wrong guy or else think everything’s fine, and then boom - it isn’t.”

This was a commiseration drinking session, which Karen had suggested after she’d noticed you moping around the office. You both worked at the same big newspaper but in different departments, and became good friends after spending numerous lunchtimes together in the staff restaurant.

“What happened this time?” she asked, then winced as she realised maybe that wasn’t the most tactful way of putting things. “I mean, I thought you and David were getting on really well?” You took a larger gulp of your drink, “Well, that’s the thing - so did I. Until I got the “it’s not you, it’s me” talk on Saturday.” You’d been seeing this guy from your Digital News Content section for a few months, and you’d really thought everything had been on track.

Karen sighed, “Oh lord, not that old pile of bullshit.” You nodded, “Yeah, right. I tried to pin him down to exactly what the problem was, but I guess it was just me, when it all came down to it. In fact, I saw him chatting up a girl from Accounts yesterday so he’s already moved on to pastures new. That didn’t take long, did it? Or maybe he’d already moved on but didn’t have the balls to tell me.”

“Look, I’m meeting up with Frank on Friday night for a drink...” her cheeks pinked up, and you smiled at her obvious pleasure in that thought, “....so why don’t you come along? He mentioned one of his friends might tag along.” You held up a hand, “Oh no! No! I’m not being set up.” She shook her head, “It’s not a set-up, I swear. They’ve got a little....issue.... with Homeland and we’re going to talk about it.”

You knew she’d recently met this ex-Marine called Frank when - in her role as investigative reporter - she’d been digging into some big CIA scandal. When was there not a scandal about the CIA, you thought. You knew she’d met him several times over the past couple of weeks and had detected a more-than-just-business interest in him. “Oh, so.... strictly business, then?” you teased. She shifted in her seat, “Well, mainly.... we’ve also been talking about more personal stuff.” “Uh-huh,” you nodded, smirking, “Karen fancies Frank, Karen fancies Frank!” you sang, while she batted your arm and gave an embarrassed laugh.

“Oh shut up, you,” she said, “...are you coming along or not?”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

And that’s why you found yourself sitting in a neighbourhood bar with Karen on Friday night, feeling quite nervous for some reason. Probably because Karen was fidgeting like hell next to you, and you were picking up on her nervous energy. You smiled over at her, “So you really like this guy, huh?” “No!”she denied, then as you raised an eyebrow at her, “Well... okay, yes I do like him. He’s so sweet.” Her eyes widened as she spoke, catching sight of two approaching figures, “Oh! Here he comes.” A big bear of a man came up to your table, smiling broadly at Karen and then including you in the smile as he stopped beside you. “Hey, Karen,” he greeted her, and she beamed back at him. “Hey, Frank,” and then she introduced you to him. His friend, who’d been partially blocked from your sight by Frank’s bulk, moved out from behind him and said ‘Hi - I’m Billy Russo,’ and shook your hand as he did so. “Nice ta meet ya,” said Frank, also shaking your hand and sitting down in the booth next to Karen.

The man who’d just introduced himself as Billy slid in next to you, and you tried not to stare. He was hot. Like, really hot. Dressed in a smart suit and overcoat, he really didn’t look like an ex-Marine, but Karen had told you that both Frank and his friend were ex-service, and that the friend had opened up a security firm called Anvil when he left the Marines. His handsome face turned towards you, and two very dark eyes looked into yours, “So.... you’re a friend of Karen’s?” You nodded, “Yeah, we just worked together to start with but now we’re besties.” “You a reporter too?” “Nah, I’m a lowly sub-editor on the news desk.” A sudden thought occurred to you, “Oh... and just to reassure you, this isn’t a set-up... you and me, I mean.” He smirked, and you found yourself staring at his lush brushed-back hair and sculpted jaw with its light beard. “Would it have been a big problem if it had been?” he was saying to you, and you shook yourself out of your little trance.

“No, I guess not...” you replied, laughing nervously, “...but I just wanted to get it out there.” He looked you over appraisingly, “Well, I wouldn’t have been disappointed at all,” the smirk got bigger, “....so if you change your mind, just let me know.” This left you speechless but he was still looking at you, asking, “Whaddya want to drink? First round’s on me,” before turning his gaze to the others.

Several beers later, you were sitting listening to the other three talking about a lot of indecipherable nonsense (from your point of view), and you were beginning to get antsy. “Karen, I’m going to head off,” you said in a break in the conversation and she looked slightly guilty, “Oh sorry... we’ve been going on about this for ages.” You shrugged, “It’s fine, Karen, honestly. I’ll see you Monday, okay? Have a great weekend.” You turned to the guys, “You too, and thanks for the drinks,” and made to move out of the booth. But Billy didn’t move. “See you home?” he questioned you, and you saw small smiles on both Karen and Frank’s faces. “Yeah, okay,” you nodded, and then he moved, standing aside as you slid out of the booth. As you headed to the door through the crowd of people, you felt his arm snaking around your lower back. Oooh, very confident, you thought. You’d marked him out as a player as soon as you’d set eyes on him.

“Sorry about the boring shop talk,” he said as you both hit the street, “....me and Frankie’ve got some problems with Homeland right now.” “That doesn’t sound good,” you said as you found yourself being guided around the corner from the bar. “Oh, I was going to take the subway,” you protested, but he shook his head, “This time on a Friday night? Nah.” He pointed towards a rather flashy-looking car parked in the street, “Got the car with me so I’ll take you home. I only had one beer, case you didn’t notice.” “I didn’t,” you admitted, “I thought you were sinking beers like the rest of us.” He gave a low laugh, “I was a sniper in the service, so I like to be aware of my surroundings at all times.” A little frisson ran through you, this guy was quite dangerous, you could tell. As you reached the car, he held the passenger door open for you and you climbed in, trying to be as elegant as possible although you weren’t sure you quite achieved that.

As he started the engine and moved the car out into the flow of traffic, he asked, “So what made you come along tonight if it wasn’t a set-up?” “I was bored. I just split up with my boyfriend of a few months so...” you shrugged. You heard a chuckle, “His loss.” “I don’t think that’s what he thought,” you replied, with a self-deprecating laugh. “Well, it’s true,” said Billy, “...believe me. He must be mad to give you up.” “You silver-tongued charmer,” you said back to him, and again you heard his deep chuckle.

“Seriously, it’s my gain. Look, this might seem a bit of an odd request seein’ as how we’ve only just met...” he began, looking across at you as he pulled up outside your apartment block, “....but you’d be doin’ me a big favour. How ‘bout you come along to this charity event I gotta go to next week? As my ‘plus one’?” You hesitated, and he carried on, “No strings, I promise. Just come along as my girlfriend and be on my arm all night. Help me ward off the attentions of someone I’d rather avoid.” You scoffed, “Fake dating? Really?!”

Much to your surprise, you found yourself walking into your building a few minutes later having just agreed to go to this event with Billy. He’d looked pleased, thanking you for saying yes. And you’d also been on the receiving end of a surprise kiss from him. He’d suddenly leant in, slid his big hand around the back of your neck and pulled you in, his mouth finding yours as he did. The kiss had been short but very sexy and you were still tingling from the after-effects.

He’d laughed at your look of total surprise, and wished you sweet dreams. You’d better be careful, warned your internal guardian angel, he said ‘No Strings’.... remember? So don’t go getting all invested in this guy. He’s a player.... for sure.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Billy and you had swapped numbers, and the following morning you were pleasantly surprised to get a text asking if you could meet him later that day. Intrigued, you texted back saying you didn’t have any other plans but why did he need to meet up? He came back saying he’d had an idea to help out with the event next week, and said he could pick you up. Feeling like you could be making a big mistake, you agreed so he said he’d be at your place around two.

You made sure you dressed casually. Not having any idea where you were going, but sure it wouldn’t be a date as such, you just chose a shirt and jeans with some suede ankle boots. When Billy texted you to say he was parked outside, you left your apartment and locked up, feeling a spark of excitement run through you as you did. “This is not a date, this is not a date, this is not a date!” you chanted in your head as you went downstairs. Billy, you saw with relief, was also dressed casually in jeans, t-shirt, leather jacket and combat boots. He gave you a big grin as you got in the car, the luxurious leather aroma of the interior filling your nostrils. “What make of car is this?” you asked, being an “it’s a black one” kind of girl. He gave you what could only be described as a smug smile, “Rolls Royce Wraith, sweetheart,” he answered. “Oh, okay,” you said, “....expensive, I take it?” “Very.” “Surprised you park it on the street the way you do then,” you shrugged, and he burst out laughing. “Is it one of those so-called penis extensions?” you asked next, and Billy nearly choked he was laughing so hard.

“Firstly, I take it that means you aren’t particularly impressed,” he gasped, getting his breath back after his laughing fit, “...and secondly, no darlin’, it definitely isn’t one of those ‘penis extensions‘ as you put it. Got no need for one-a those.” You returned his smirk, “Really? Well, I don’t care what car a guy drives,” you said firmly, “...that’s got nothing to do with what he’s like.” He glanced across at you as he swung the car into one of the downtown underground car parks. “And what do you think I’m like?” You looked at his profile as he concentrated on parking the big car in a corner space, “Mmmm... I think you’ve had a hard upbringing and now you’re making up for it. Big time.”

Billy switched the engine off and turned to stare at you, the dark eyes drilling into yours with an intensity you hadn’t been expecting. “Wow,” said Billy, “....you sure you’re not one-a these psychoanalysts or somethin’?” “Definitely,” you replied. “Well, you sure sound like you’ve been analysing me, sweetheart,” he said. You didn’t know him well enough to gauge his mood, and he carried on, “I mean, you got all that from meetin’ me last night and just now?” You nodded, saying neutrally, “I’m just speculating of course... but the expensive suits, the car, and I bet a big flashy apartment too, it just says ‘I can afford this now and I’m gonna enjoy it’ to me.” You were relieved to hear a chuckle as you’d been worried you’d really offended him. “Spot on,” he said, “...yeah, you’re spot on. I think you’re maybe in the wrong business.” You decided to change the subject, “So... where are we going, Billy?” “You’ll see in a minute,” he grinned, “....c’mon, let’s go sweetheart.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Minutes later, you were standing outside one of the expensive and trendy boutiques in the area. Billy’s hand went under your elbow and he steered you inside. “Billy... what’s going on?” He nodded to one of the staff who started making her way over to the two of you. “Look, it was my bright idea to drag you along to this thing, so the least I can do is treat you to a new outfit.” You were shaking your head before he’d stopped speaking, “Oh no, no... I can’t let you do that!” He was nodding back at you - it must’ve looked quite comical to the store assistant, “Oh yes, you will - I insist.” He turned to the woman, “Please can you help my girlfriend pick out an outfit for a formal event?” And before you could say anything else, he’d wandered over to a seating area near the changing rooms and seated himself in a comfortable armchair. “I’ll be right here, sweets,” he said, beaming at you. Girlfriend indeed, you thought.

The store assistant looked expectantly at you and you nodded hesitantly at her, so she led you over to some rails filled with lots of beautiful dresses. “How nice of your boyfriend to buy you a whole new outfit,” she commented, beginning to slide the dresses back and forth along the rail looking for a selection for you, “He’s very charming,” she continued, admiringly. “Yes, isn’t he,” you said between gritted teeth. Truthfully, you were feeling as if you were out shopping with your sugar daddy. But you had to admit that your bank account would’ve been protesting loudly if you’d had to make the purchase yourself, and you definitely would’ve had to buy something new as nothing in your wardrobe was even remotely suitable for a formal event. And he was right, this was all his bright idea. So you’d just suck it up, you thought, however reluctantly.

Eventually the assistant had several dresses folded over her arm for you to try on, and you sailed past Billy to the changing rooms without as much as a glance at him. But you just knew he was staring at you as disappeared behind the curtain.

After twenty minutes of struggling in and out of the various dresses, you had to admit that the assistant had made some good choices. There were three that you really liked, and you finally chose a midnight blue silky sheath of mid-thigh length, an asymmetric one-shoulder-strap neckline and a swirl of sequins diagonally across it from neck to hem. It was tight-fitting but didn’t show off an excessive amount of skin - you didn’t want to have it all out there on show after all.

The assistant had also brought several pairs of shoes to you once you’d chosen your dress, and you picked out a pair of matching delicate strappy sandals. Pleased with your choices, you put your own clothes back on and went out to find Billy. He looked up from his phone as you exited the changing room, a disappointed look on his face, “What.... no catwalk show for your boyfriend?” You leant down and whispered, “Okay, you’re laying it on a bit thick, Russo,” to which he grinned, gently took hold of your chin and softly kissed you. “You’re welcome, sweetheart,” he smirked. Then a horrible thought occurred to you, “Billy!” you whispered forcefully. He looked a bit nervously at you, “What?” “There was no price tag on that dress or the shoes either!” He waved a hand at you, “Yeah? That’s okay, just leave it to me.” “No! That’s not on. I’m going to ask her what the price is.” He jumped up out of the armchair, “Nah, nah! Told ya, it was my idea you come along so just let me do this, okay?”

He set off without further delay to the cash desk, while you reluctantly waited in the seating area. Not particularly comfortable with the idea of him buying you an outfit, you decided that you’d offer to buy him dinner to kind of offset his no doubt hefty bill for the dress purchase. He came back over to you a few moments later carrying a large box in one of the boutique’s carrier bags which he handed to you with a grin. “She’d already boxed it before I could see it so it’s still gonna be a surprise when I see it on the night.” You smirked back, you were quite pleased about that. “Billy, let me buy you dinner as a thank you for the dress.” “Okay, I won’t say no to a free dinner,” he grinned, “...where d’ya wanna go?” You mentally reviewed your bank balance and named a mid-priced restaurant close by.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

After a pleasant couple of hours chatting over dinner, Billy drove you home. Debating how to end the night, you came up with what you felt was a decent plan. Not that you were trying to extend the evening of course. That would be just plain stupid as the ‘relationship’ was all a big fake. Remember? your brain asked you. “You know Billy, we haven’t prepared a back story yet, have we?” you said as he drew up outside your place. “A back story?” “Yeah. I mean, if this person you’re trying to avoid happens to ask us - together or separately - about our relationship, we need to be singing from the same songsheet, don’t we?” He looked thoughtful, “Uh yeah, you’ve got a point there.” “OK, well how about you come in for a glass of wine or a coffee and we can get that sorted now?” A devilish smirk appeared, “Plannin’ to ravish me, sweetheart?”

You felt your face heat up with a sudden blush, “No!! Purely to agree on the back story. But hey - we can just text about it if you’d prefer!” Embarrassed, you grabbed your bags, opened the car door and began to get out, but Billy grabbed your arm, “Hey, hey, sweetheart - I’m just kiddin’. Hold on an’ I’ll park up. We can walk up together.” You huffed slightly and closed the car door again, while Billy looked around for a parking space. Once parked, the two of you went up to your apartment and you unlocked the door, waving him inside and over to the sofa while you stashed the bags and headed to the kitchen area. “What would you like? Wine, beer or coffee?” “I’d better just have a coffee,” he said, “...don’t wanna get drunk and pass out in your apartment. Not a good look.” “I don’t see you as a ‘getting drunk’ kinda guy, Billy. You already told me you like to be aware of your surroundings.” He laughed, “You’re right, I don’t make a habit of gettin’ wasted.”

So you switched on your coffee machine and asked what kind of coffee he’d like, holding up a handful of different capsules. He strolled over to you, draping his leather jacket over the back of one of the high stools at your breakfast bar as he reached you. He leaned down slightly and looked at the selection you had in your hand, and you were suddenly very aware of the scent of his aftershave. “Whattya got there, then?” You took his hand and dumped them all in it, saying, “I’m just gonna fill up the water jug while you decide,” and moving swiftly away from him. You were finding it very difficult indeed to ignore the magnetic attraction he was exerting over you, but you really had to try harder as you were only going to end up getting hurt otherwise. He held out a capsule toward you, “Americano’s fine,” he said.

The two cups of coffee made a few moments later, you led him back over to the sofa and you both sat down at opposite ends. “Okayyyy,” said Billy, “....back story then?” You nodded, “Yeah. Nothing too fancy as the less details we have to remember the better.” “Good idea. We should probably add in some truth too. So.... we met through Karen & Frank?” “Yes, that’s a good start. Where did we meet and how long have we been seeing each other?” “Neighbourhood bar, and a coupla months?” “Okay, yeah. Actually is that about it? That was easier than I thought! Or...what else might they ask? Who is this person you’re avoiding - are they gonna be really nosy?” Billy snorted, “Oh yeah! Her name’s Caroline, a spoilt rich bitch. Her father owns a tech company and he supplies some of our equipment. She came along to one of the meetings recently and now she’s stalking me.” You grinned, “And that’s a problem for you? I would’ve thought you’d quite enjoy that, Billy.”

He grinned back, “Are you sayin’ I’m a player or somethin’?” “Well, aren’t you? I’m kinda getting that vibe.” Now he laughed out loud, “Maybe. But I like doin’ the chasing, sweetheart, not the other way round. If she ever got hold-a me, I’d never get outta her clutches.” “What - you wouldn’t? Not much of an ex-Marine then, are you?” He rolled his eyes, “Seriously, this woman’s so clingy she’d attach herself to me like a limpet mine. And I don’t like violence against women so I’d be in a difficult situation. Plus the main thing’s the business link with her daddy. His stuff’s good, I wouldn’t wanna have to replace him as a supplier. So you see, you’re doing me a solid here.” “When you say stalking you, do you mean literally?” “Well, like turning up at Anvil all the time to ‘check on the equipment’ and shit like that.” “So not outside the office then? I’m just thinking along the lines of her not seeing us around together before the event if she’s around you outside business hours. She might not buy it.” “As far as I know, only in office hours.”

“As far as you know? That’s not exactly reassuring if she’s as much of a stalker as you say she is.” He laughed, “No, I’m sure she’s not around apart from that.” “Okay, well is there anything else you can think of that she might ask?” He gave you a sly grin, “If we’ve slept together.” You got up and took your empty cup over to the kitchen sink, “Uh-huh.... well she can ask! We’ll just have to lie, won’t we?” You turned round only to find Billy invading your personal space again, and you moved back slightly in surprise. He followed, crowding you against the counter, dark eyes gazing into yours, “Uh... we don’t have to lie.” You leaned further back, your brain yelling ‘don’t give in to him!’ at you. “Billy... you suggested this whole thing and you also said ‘no strings’, remember? Well, if we did that... that would be strings, don’t you agree?” He reached round you and put his cup in the sink too, “Yeah, I guess so. Just thought we could make things look a little more.... authentic, y’know?” He turned and grabbed his jacket off the back of the stool, but then took you by surprise again by swooping in for a long kiss, pulling you against his body and his big hand sliding around the back of your neck. You pulled away, trying to catch your breath.

Those espresso-coloured eyes were gazing into yours, a lazy grin on his face. “Hey, you’ll need to get less jumpy when I do that else she’s definitely not gonna buy it.” He stood back from you, shrugging into his jacket, “Might need a bit more practice, sweetheart,” he smirked, “....so how about we meet up again tomorrow? We can learn a bit more about each other, as well as you getting more comfortable when I get physical with you,” and wiggled his eyebrows at you. Against your better judgement, you agreed and so he said he’d pick you up at four the next day.

Once he’d gone, you poured yourself a stiff brandy. You couldn’t deny you wanted to spend more time with him, much as you knew you were setting yourself up for a fall. Really... just what the hell did you think you were doing?

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Billy was thinking the very same thing to himself as he drove away. He was enjoying those kisses way too much. But he was the one who’d suggested this whole fake relationship thing, and definitely with ‘no strings’. Because that was the Russo Way.

He’d better get his head back on straight, and stop thinking about the gorgeous woman in the apartment back there as anything other than a way to ditch the very irritating Caroline.

He also got the distinct feeling she’d marked him out as a player and wouldn’t want to get involved with him anyhow. Well, he was a player and he couldn’t deny that. Wasn’t sure he could ever see himself as a one-woman man. Caroline was attractive enough and in the normal way of things, he’d’ve taken her out maybe a couple of times, fucked and then forgotten her. But her father and Billy’s business relationship complicated things somewhat.

So yeah, he’d make sure she saw him with a lovely woman on his arm at the gala, kiss (and maybe fuck if he got lucky) the lovely woman at the end of the night and move right along. Apart from anything else, the fact that she was Karen’s friend complicated things way beyond what he wanted to get involved in, because he couldn’t afford to upset either her or her friend, Frankie’d kill him if he did.

Definitely better stick with the Russo Way. It had never failed him before, had it?

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

The next day, Billy glided the car to a stop outside her apartment block at 4 o’clock as promised, dropping her a quick text to announce his arrival. Soon, he saw her figure walking out of the main door and making her way towards him.

Damn! Mmm, she was looking good. Little pink sundress, short denim jacket, bare legs and low wedge pink sandals. Yeah, really cute. Smart and funny too. And sexy, of course. Very sexy. Totally fuckable. Completely and utterly fuckable. Woah - stop that Russo! Right now!

All these thoughts ran through his head in the 10 seconds it took her to reach the car.

He leant over and pushed open the passenger door for her, “Hi sweetheart.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You’d noticed Billy’s eyes running over you as you went up to the car, and then spotted his tongue making a swift trip over his bottom lip as he greeted you. You got the feeling he was looking at you like you were a snack to be consumed. Determined to resist how attracted you felt to him, you hopped into the car and said Hi back. Billy’s big hand landed on your thigh as you fastened your seat belt, his long fingers sliding upwards. Batting them away, you continued clipping yourself in and he laughed, leaning across and pulling you to him, kissing you long and slow. Breaking apart, he said, “Remember we gotta practice, sweetheart,” grinning at you. “Mmmhuh,” you nodded, “I remember you saying that.” “Just relax! Get comfortable with me touchin’ and kissin’ you. We’re boyfriend and girlfriend after all.” “Mmmhuh,” you said again, and once more his hand found its way onto your thigh and began stroking, eventually inching upwards again.

This time, you decided to stay still, thinking that yes, you had better get comfortable with this if this whole stupid fake relationship thing was going to work. But when his hand parted your legs and one long slim finger swiftly made its way inside your panties and - without further warning - actually inside you, you jumped like a startled deer and squirmed away from him. “Billy!” you protested loudly, but he merely smirked victoriously at you and pushed a second finger inside you to join its cousin. You shoved at his resistant arm, “Stop it!” His mouth found yours and he began kissing you as his fingers moved steadily in and out of you then his thumb was on your clit, and he began massaging firmly. “Sssshhh, sweetheart, we’re just messin’ around,” you heard his low voice in your ear, “...this is high school stuff.” “But I didn’t say you could do this to me!” you snarled, trying to ignore how good he was making you feel, and you felt his fingers leave you. He sat back in his car seat, taking a tissue out of his jacket pocket and slowly wiping his fingers, looking across at you all the while with a contemplative look on his face.

“I’m sorry,” he said, but not sounding regretful at all, “I didn’t think you’d mind. Thought it’d loosen you up a bit like we said.” He smirked at you, “You can’t deny I got you wet, and I know you’re attracted to me. Thought you’d enjoy it.” Your mouth dropped open, “You arrogant fucker!” you exclaimed, “You know what, you can take your fake dating shit and shove it where the sun doesn’t fucking shine!” You jumped out of the car, slamming the door with an almighty bang behind you. Stomping back up to your apartment, you opened your front door and slammed it behind you too, angrily throwing your bag onto the sofa as you passed on your way to the kitchen. You took off your jacket and threw it onto a high stool, furious enough to take a bottle of gin out of the cupboard and grab a clean glass from the dishwasher. You were just taking a bottle of tonic water out of the fridge when there was a knock at your door.

Okay, well that was either your annoying across-the-hall neighbour... who complained about anything and everything... here to moan about the door-slamming, or else it was Billy. Whoever was on the other side of the door was going to be greeted by your frowning face, and you really didn’t give a shit which one it was. You dramatically swung open the door, and it was in fact Billy Russo who was confronted by your unhappy visage. He immediately held up his hands in a placatory gesture. “Look, I am really, truly, sorry. I ... can I come in and explain?” You turned on your heel and walked back to the kitchen, leaving him to close the door behind him and follow in your footsteps. “Want a drink?” He nodded, “I’d love a beer if you’ve got one, please.” You took a bottle of beer out of the fridge and handed it to him, then got a bottle top remover for him out of one of your drawers.

He popped off the cap then took a long swig, as he watched you prepare a G&T for yourself. You also took a big sip then leant back against the counter and regarded him with a steely gaze. “You said you wanted to explain.” He took another gulp of beer and began, “I.... look, I’m so sorry okay? I totally misread the situation.” Sipping your gin, you said, “I’ll say you did, Billy! I get the distinct impression you mistook me for one of the easy lays you no doubt pick up in bars. Is that how you treat your one-and-done’s, huh? Well, don’t try that shit with me, okay?” He looked over at you shamefaced and shrugged, “Uhhh...I ..uhh.. yeah, I guess I did.... look, I really am sorry, sweetheart. I can’t apologise enough, and I really didn’t mean to upset you.” You took another big hit of your gin, slightly - but only very slightly - mollified. “And as for your comment that I’m attracted to you...!!!” Momentarily you were speechless, unsure what you wanted to say or how to put it. Mainly because it was the truth, you acknowledged to yourself.

Before you could say anything, Billy held up his hands again, “I’m incredibly embarrassed about saying that. Really crass. And arrogant, as you said.” You noticed that his face had pinked up somewhat. “In fact just forget I said it,” he carried on. “Bit late for that now isn’t it! Did you say it because you’re used to women falling at your feet, Billy?”

He looked down at the beer bottle in his hand, waggling it back and forward before saying, “Yeah. If I’m honest, I don’t usually haveta try too hard.” His eyes met yours, “And if I’m bein’ even more honest, gotta admit I’m attracted to you. Like, really attracted. So, yeah - I was hoping for something more than just going to the charity event with you.”

You drew in a big breath. What? What did he just say to you? No. You mentally shook your head, and then realised you were actually shaking it. “Billy.... you’re a player, that much is blatantly obvious. Would you know what a relationship is if it came up and bit you on the ass? Something tells me you wouldn’t.” He had the grace to look guilty. You continued, “So here’s what we’ll do. If you still need me to come along to the gala, then I’ll do that. And then we’ll go back to being strangers. Okay?”

He twirled his beer bottle between his long fingers, and shrugged, “Okay, sweetheart. M’happy you’re still gonna help me out. But can’t we at least be friends afterwards? Reckon Karen ‘n Frank’re gonna be seeing a lot of each other so we’ll probably keep bumping into each other.” Your face softened into a smile, “Yeah, they like each other don’t they? You’re right, we probably will be spending some time together because of those two. Okay... friends, then.”

He smiled at you, approaching warily and sliding his hand round to the back of your head and up into your hair, pulling you closer. “M’gonna kiss you, s’that okay?” but being Billy, didn’t wait for your reply. His lips met yours in a gentler kiss than earlier, his fingers stroking the back of your neck. He moved his hips against yours, and you knew he’d done this so you’d feel his erection against your body. You moved sideways and pulled away from him, why did he have to make you breathless when you just wanted to be cool, calm and collected around him? He looked a bit crestfallen, but recovered swiftly and asked, “How about we order in some food and just spend some quality time together?” You sighed, “Okay, Billy, let’s do that. But no more groping or anything, okay?” He nodded, looking serious and miming a cross over his heart, “Promise.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You pushed the pizza box away from you, “God, I’m stuffed.” Billy picked up his beer bottle and drank, giving a small delicate burp as he did so, “Me too.” Reaching over, he picked up the remote and began flicking through Netflix, “Whaddya wanna watch next?” he asked. “Mmmm, you pick a movie. But not one about war.” He laughed, “Oh don’t worry, I never watch war films, had enough-a that in real life.” Lying back and letting out a deep breath, you said apologetically, “I bet you did. Sorry.” Shrugging, he also lay back, his head turning towards you, “S’okay. We can talk about it sometime if you like. And about my less-than-perfect childhood. And some of my more recent fuck-ups.” He gave a bitter laugh, “I’m a fuckin’ train wreck, sweetheart - you’ve made the right decision, best you don’t get involved with me.” His eyes looked big and a bit glossy, and before you could help yourself you’d laid your hand on his shoulder, “I’m sure you’re not that bad, Billy.” He turned away from you, looking at the TV before selecting a sci-fi fantasy movie, “Oh believe me, I am,” he said in a low voice.

You shifted a bit closer to him on the sofa, “Don’t be so down on yourself, Billy. You’ve achieved a lot of things... got your own company, fancy car, fine suits, lots of money, prestige.” He grinned at you, “But all that doesn’t matter to you, does it?” You shook your head, “No, but they’re still achievements to be proud of.” His head dropped and some locks of hair fell over his forehead. “Thank you,” he mumbled, and you watched as your hand went of its own accord to his face and stroked the errant hair back off his forehead. His head swivelled towards you, dark eyes gazing into yours; he took hold of your arms and drew you against his chest. “Can we snuggle?” he asked you, then wrapped his arms right around you, before lying down and swinging his long legs up onto the sofa, pulling you with him. You snorted out a laugh, “Snuggle? That doesn’t exactly fit with your ex-soldier or current playboy personas!” “Aw, c’mon sweetheart, gimme a break - I’m tryin’ to be a well-behaved boy here!” You snuggled into his chest a bit, “Okay, but remember - no wandering hands!” He held up both hands, “Not wandering - look!” before placing them chastely on your arm and shoulder.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Your eyes opened, and you groggily looked around you, disorientated. Hearing soft little snores from beneath you, you raised your head to look at Billy’s sleeping face. Oh. You’d both obviously dozed off in front of the TV, the Netflix menu now on the screen. Moving slowly, you started to try and stand up but two hands went round your arms in a vice-like grip. “Where you off to?” said Billy’s deep voice. “Just...ummm... just...” you stuttered, but suddenly you were underneath him, his weight pressing you down as his mouth found yours in a hungry kiss. You knew you should resist but damn, he was a good kisser! Feeling yourself dissolve into the kiss, one of your hands moved up to his bristly jawline.

His kisses became more passionate and he pushed himself against you even more, his arousal very evident. You tried to ignore them but your feelings of desire for him were becoming overwhelming, and your arms went round his neck almost unbidden. He was smiling against your lips, and you heard, “Wanna sleep with me? D’you wanna?” Your treacherous mouth said “Yes!” in a breathy whisper, and that was all Billy needed to hear.

He picked you up in his arms, whispering “Where’s your bedroom?” You nodded towards its general direction and he carried you across the apartment and into your room. Setting you down, his fingers were immediately at the zip of your dress, pulling it down, pushing the fabric down then further down until your dress was round your ankles, before whipping it fully off and dropping it onto the floor. You watched him as his eyes roamed all over your body, taking in your lacy lingerie and moving the straps of your bra off your shoulders. “Mmmmm, sweetheart - wow - even better than I imagined,” he said hoarsely, his hands going round your back and unclipping your bra. He stripped it off you and dropped it, both hands immediately cupping your breasts and massaging firmly, thumbs running over your nipples as they peaked. Moving you backwards until your head hit the pillows, you felt his fingers pulling the fabric of your panties aside and suddenly the head of his cock was at your core and pushing inside you. “No time for foreplay, sorry,” you heard and you gave a deep groan when he kept going, feeling his balls brushing your pussy as he fully sheathed himself. His head went back and he gasped, “Fuck!” before he began to thrust. He lifted your legs and draped them over his hips, encouraging you to cross your ankles on his back to pull him even closer.

His mouth was everywhere on you, kissing you deeply one minute before his mouth went to one of your nipples, teasing it with his tongue while his thumb and fingers toyed with the other, then his mouth and teeth were on your neck and shoulders while he set a ferocious pace. A constant stream of low groans were leaving your lips as he moved on you, and you could hear him gasping and muttering words above you, not all of which you could catch, but you did hear “Uhhh, been wantin’ to do this to ya since the minute we met” between thrusts. You ran your hands over his chest and up around his neck, threading your fingers through his lush hair, and you felt him shiver as you pulled on it gently. His thumb was on your clit now, rubbing at you relentlessly and your orgasm washed over you like a wave. His teeth were fastened onto your shoulder and he bit down as you felt his body tense as he came. He lowered himself gently onto you before rolling off, lying on his back and staring up at the ceiling as he got his breath back. “Wow,” he said quietly, before moving onto his side and gazing at you, running a finger gently along your jaw. “Yes, wow,” you replied, putting your hand on his bristly cheek.

“Well, if Caroline does ask if we’ve slept together, now we don’t have to lie,” smirked Billy. This instantly ruined the mood and you sat up, prior to wrapping one of the covers round you and getting out of bed. He looked a bit surprised, but you began moving away from the bed towards the bathroom. Returning a few moments later, you hesitated for a moment before climbing back into bed beside Billy, who was still lying there in all his naked glory. He immediately moved next you, his hands on your arm, “Did I say something wrong earlier? You were up and off like a ballistic missile.” You looked over at him, “A girl doesn’t exactly like to hear another one’s name getting mentioned just seconds after lovemaking.” A guilty look passed over his face, “Awww, shit!... I didn’t think, I’m really sorry... I was just so happy you slept with me, sweetheart.” He stroked your hair away from your face, “Forgive me? And my big clumsy mouth?” You huffed a bit but eventually nodded, not least due to the soft kisses he was peppering over your face and neck.

He breathed a sigh of relief, “I seem to spend all my time apologising to you,” he chuckled, “I’m really making a mess of this fake dating.” “Can’t argue with you there, Billy,” you agreed. “Look, I’m gonna try a lot harder, okay?” he said, running a finger along your arm. You sighed, “Okay... well here’s hoping it’ll be alright on the night.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

The rest of the week, you and Billy had traded phone calls and text messages but (to your secret disappointment) the two of you didn’t meet up. To your mind that could only mean that Billy, who’d admitted to you that he liked the thrill of the chase, had now already caught you so that was it as far as he was concerned. He’d said that his work had been crazy busy but you didn’t feel at all convinced by that.

Friday eventually rolled around, and you were glad you’d decided to take a half day off work to get ready. Karen had strolled up to your desk as you were packing up your stuff before leaving, and you recognised her ‘Serious Talk’ look on her face. She walked along to the elevator with you and followed you inside. “Y’know I hope you really enjoy your evening with Billy tonight, but....” she bit her lip before continuing, “...you know he’s a player, right?” She quickly put her hand on your arm as the elevator reached the ground floor, “I’m not trying to spoil your fun, honestly I’m not, but some of the things Frank’s let slip recently would make your toes curl. Billy’s totally ruthless when it comes to cutting women loose.” The elevator doors opened and you both walked out, with you saying, “Don’t worry Karen, I sussed that out the minute I saw him,” over your shoulder as you continued out into the main lobby. You stopped and turned to her, lowering your voice and continuing, “But I slept with him last weekend and just as expected, he’s avoided meeting up with me all during this week.” Her mouth tightened, and you knew you were in for a Page Lecture. “Gahhh! What were you thinking?! You’ve just reinforced his impression that he can pull any woman he wants and then disappear on her! I can’t believe you didn’t even wait for this gala thing tonight! You could at least have held off till then.”

“Yes, mom,” you sighed, then smiled at her. “But you know what Karen, he’s so hot I just couldn’t resist! And I knew exactly what his reaction would be, and he hasn’t disappointed. He’s been in touch obviously because we’ve got this thing tonight, but he’s been ‘too busy at work’ to meet up. I’m sure that in Russo-speak, that really means ‘too busy chasing tail’ but I’m cool with that. Like I said, it’s what I expected,” shrugging as you said this. “Hmmmm,” replied Karen, staring at you intensely as if trying to read your mind, “...well as long as you know what you’re getting yourself into.” “I do,” you reassured her, hugging her before walking away with a nonchalant wave.

Out on the street you exhaled a big breath. If only you truly believed that.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Billy pulled up outside her apartment block and, as before, texted her to say he was there.

He was disappointed that he hadn’t been able to meet up with her during the week, and was also aware she probably thought he was avoiding her now they’d slept together. But he’d truly been up to his ears in it at work, and he wasn’t yet established enough in the security market to turn down job offers. So he’d taken on probably a few more than he should have done, and both he and Frank had had to weigh in on a couple of them to make sure they were handled correctly.

So apart from calls and texts, he’d had to miss out on seeing her. In fact, all he’d been thinking of the entire week was the prolonged session they’d indulged in last weekend. Once he’d apologised for mentioning Caroline’s name after they’d first made love, (really smart move Russo, he thought to himself) there had been a whole night of energetic and very enjoyable sex. Then a shared shower late the next morning after she’d woken him up with a surprise and very welcome blow job. God, the things she could do with her mouth! He squirmed in his seat, starting to get hard just thinking about it. He couldn’t wait for another one of those, that was for sure. Tonight after the gala if he was lucky!

He saw the main door to her apartment block open and she started walking towards the car. Wish I could get a better idea of how she looked in her dress, he thought. Oh well, I’ll just need to wait till we actually get to the place.

»»————————————-———-　⚜��———————————-————-««

You slid into Billy’s flashy car, tucking your feet in last in an effort to be elegant. He leaned over, grabbing the back of your neck and kissing you long and hard. You eventually shoved him away, exclaiming “Billy! My lipstick!” You peered at his face, “And you’re covered in it!”

He burst out laughing, “Well, hello sweetheart!”

You handed him a tissue whilst you began trying to repair the smudges around your lips. He dampened it on his tongue and then quickly rubbed the burgundy colour off his mouth. Once you’d fixed your face, you leant over towards him and his mouth headed to yours again but you pulled back. “I’m checking your shirt collar to make sure there’s none on there!” Chuckling, he started up the car, “I did wonder why you waited till you’d put your lipstick back on before kissin’ me again.” “You kissed me!” you protested. He just laughed and manoeuvred the car into the traffic stream.

His head then swung towards you, “If you say so, sweetheart! Hey, I’d say you look beautiful but I can’t get a proper look at you in the car. So wait a little while till we get there and then I can compliment you properly, okay?” You nodded, “Yeah, same. I can’t get a look at you either.” Another chuckle, “You can see as much of me as you want later tonight, sweetheart.” “You’re very sure of yourself, aren’t you?!” Billy’s hand stole onto your thigh and travelled higher. “Wearin’ panties?” You tolerated his wandering fingers, “Yes I am, Marine. Sorry to disappoint.” He shrugged, smirk firmly in place, “Fine by me. They’re not gonna stop me gettin’ to where I wanna be anyhow.” Somewhat surprisingly to you, his hand went back onto the steering wheel. “But I’m gonna wait till we’re alone later. See, sweetheart - I’ve learned my lesson!” “Glad to hear it!” you shot back at him, before looking out of the window at the passing streets.

After arriving and parking at the venue, one of the big downtown hotels, you and Billy made your way upstairs to the function room. Leaving your coats at the cloakroom, Billy twirled you round in front of him, looking you over slowly from top to toe. “You look gorgeous,” he said admiringly, “really beautiful.” “Thank you. Not so bad yourself, Russo.” He was in one of his bespoke suits and was looking edible. He mock-bowed then leant down and kissed you on the lips, and you reminded yourself to act naturally when he did that. You both began walking towards the sound of music and chatter, his hand straying down onto the top of your ass as you went. Karen’s voice rang in your ears about how much of a player he was, and once again you fought the instinct to swat his hand away. If you could just do your duty and get through tonight, then you could put yourself deep into protective mode over this handsome devil.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Several gin & tonics later, you were returning from the ladies’ room and heading back to where you’d left your ‘boyfriend’ at the bar, wondering how much more of this tedious event you could stand, when you heard a high-pitched voice trilling, “Oh Billy! There you are, I’ve been looking everywhere for you!”

Hahah! you thought, this must be the infamous Caroline! Well, at least this next part is going to inject some much-needed fun into the evening.

You could see a small brunette standing in front of Billy with her hands grasping his biceps and beginning to pull him towards her. He spotted you approaching over her shoulder and extricated himself from her clutches saying, “Caroline.... how nice to see you! Just in time for me to introduce you to my girlfriend...” “Girlfriend?!” She whirled round and met your eyes, her own narrowing as she looked you up and down in a flash. You continued walking towards the two of them, noting that she was pretty but was heavily made up; she really didn’t need to plaster it on like she had but - whatever, you thought. Billy moved past her to swiftly put his arm around your waist and draw you to him, introducing you at the same time. She nodded her head briefly at you, “Hi, I’m Caroline. A friend of Billy’s.” She emphasised the word ‘friend’. You beamed back a big smile at her, “Lovely to meet another of his friends,” you said, also emphasising the word. You felt Billy tense up a bit, but you thought that playing the jealous girlfriend might be a good way to go, especially when you noticed the little smirk on her face. You tugged on his arm, “C’mon Billy, you promised me a dance,” you said in a ‘little girl’ voice, which nearly made you heave quite frankly but you felt struck the right note.

Billy raised a hand vaguely towards Caroline as he said to you, “Yes I did, sweetheart. Let’s go. Bye, Caroline - good to see you,” and then gave you a long kiss as the two of you headed to the dance floor. Once Billy had you in his arms, you felt his lips next to your ear and he whispered, “So.... jealous girlfriend, huh?” You nodded, smiling up at him, “She’ll like the fact that I think she’s a threat. But as long as you keep up the PDA’s, I think she’ll buy it.” He immediately kissed you, the hand which had been on your waist surreptitiously sliding downwards at the same time. As you broke apart from the kiss, you caught sight of Caroline glaring at the two of you from a table near the edge of the dance floor. You ran your hand up onto Billy’s jaw before continuing to the back of his neck. You’d discovered during your night together that this was one of Billy’s weak spots, so you trailed your fingers over his skin and had him wrapped round your finger within seconds, just as had happened that other night. He pressed his body close against you, ensuring you felt how aroused he was. “When can we skip out of here?” he breathed to you, making you laugh. “I don’t know! It’s your event - when do you want to stay until?”

Before he could reply, you were aware of a figure next to you and a hand went onto Billy’s arm. “Mind if I cut in?” asked Caroline, giving you a nasty smirk. However it dropped off her face when Billy said hurriedly, “Sorry, Caroline - we’re just leaving,” and began leading you off the dance floor. “Oh, that’s such a shame,” you heard, and realised she was trailing after you and Billy as you left the dance floor. “I was so looking forward to hearing all about how you & Billy met.” You stole a quick glance at Billy before saying over your shoulder, “Through mutual friends.” Still following you both as you headed over to pick up your coats, she rattled out, “it’s just that I’m a bit surprised - it seems quite strange that Billy never mentioned a girlfriend before tonight.” Billy looked irritated but his face became blank as he turned slightly back towards her and replied, “Uh, I am right here y’know!.... well Caroline, we never spoke about our personal lives so it’s not that strange at all to be honest.” You’d reached the small counter by now and had handed over the tickets to the attendant, and while you’d hoped that Billy’s answer would have silenced her, Caroline continued, “So how long have you been dating?” You turned and stared at her, and found her already staring back at you, “Mmm, it’s about two months now, isn’t it Billy?” and moved your eyes to his. He glanced quickly behind him at her, “ Yes, sweetheart - a little over two months actually,” he turned back to you, smiling fondly, “and I gotta say, they’ve been two of the sweetest months of my life.” He leant down and kissed you full on the lips.

Caroline’s lip curled up at this and was still curling as you met her annoyed gaze once Billy’s lips left yours. “Well,” she began, but was then interrupted by a tall older man who came up to the three of you and placed a hand on Caroline’s shoulder. “Hello, Russo,” he said, shaking hands with Billy who greeted him with a “Hi, Mike,” as the older guy’s eyes wandered quizzically over to you. “And who’s this lovely young lady, then?” he asked but before either you or Billy could say anything, Caroline spat out, “His girlfriend, Daddy - imagine that!” However her father merely gave you a friendly grin while Billy introduced you. After a quick handshake, he commented that it was a real shame that you were both leaving before he could buy you a drink. But Billy said firmly, with a mischievous look at you, “Sorry, Mike.... we’re... uhhh... quite anxious to get home.” Mike laughed knowingly while you heard a loud ‘tut’ from his daughter. You smiled brightly at both of them, “Well.... lovely to meet you and hope you enjoy the rest of the evening. Bye!” Taking your coat from the attendant, Billy helped you into it before putting on his own and the two of you said final goodbyes to Mike and Caroline before making your escape.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

“Thank god that’s over!” you breathed out a sigh of relief as you settled back into your seat, while Billy switched on the car’s powerful engine and it purred into life. “You didn’t enjoy it?” he grinned, “...even with such a charming boyfriend attending to your every need all evening?!” You laughed, “Sorry Billy, no I didn’t. I hated every second of it! But I think we accomplished the mission, don’t you?” Turning your head and watching his profile as he reversed the car out of the parking space, you asked, “D’you want me to get the dress dry-cleaned and you can take it back to the store? I mean I’ve only had it on for a few hours and I managed not to spill anything down it.” He glanced over at you, a strange look in his eyes. “No, I don’t want you to clean it and return it. It’s yours to keep. And yes, we did achieve our goal.” He started driving away from the hotel, and you realised it was the wrong direction for your place. You’d never been to his apartment but had a feeling that’s where you were heading.

“Where are you going, Billy? I just want dropped off at home so I can get out of all of this and relax.” He laughed, and for some reason you thought he sounded a bit pissed off. “Ahh no, that’s not happenin’, sweetheart,” he said, looking across at you, eyes gleaming with something but you weren’t sure exactly what. Determination? Desire? “We’re headin’ to mine. And yeah, you’re gonna be gettin’ out of those clothes, don’t worry.” “Look, Billy,” you said, feeling a bit uneasy for some reason, “...we’re done here, okay? We’ve already slept together, you got what you wanted so now you move on, correct? That’s your usual M.O. isn’t it? You made that obvious this week. Don’t worry, I got the message loud and clear. I’m not some clingy desperate woman that’s gonna keep chasing after you. I knew what the deal was with you the minute I set eyes on you. So.... just turn around and take me home.” You’d been staring at the road ahead but were aware of him shaking his head, “No.” You looked across at him, “No? What, you’re kidnapping me now?” “You can think of it that way if you like, sweetheart. I knew you’d think I was avoidin’ you this week, but I wasn’t. I’m not ready to let you get away just yet. We’re gonna go to mine, and you’re gonna spend the night on your back - and in various other positions - cos I need another night of sex with you.”

“And what if that’s not what I want? What if I don’t want to be used like a fuck toy before you disappear over the horizon? Doesn’t it matter to you what I want?” He chuckled, and you felt a little shiver of fear run through you, “Not right now, no. Because this is all I’ve been thinkin’ about the whole week. And because you’re sayin’ one thing, but you mean another.” “Really?! That’s what you think?” you scoffed, shaking your head, “You’re unbelievable, you know that? The level of arrogance....!” He pulled the car over into the inside lane and then turned into an underground car park. He killed the engine, and in the sudden silence you heard him say in a low voice, “Call it arrogance if you like. I call it knowing what I want and makin’ sure I get it.” He released his seat belt and got out of the car, coming round and opening your door before taking hold of your arm and pulling you out of it. He locked the car with a bleep of the remote on his keychain, then dragged you - firmly but not roughly - over to an elevator which he unlocked with a key before calling it down. Once it arrived, he hustled you inside and once the doors closed, his mouth was instantly on yours. He kissed you roughly, open-mouthed with teeth and lips and tongue all involved. His hands were undoing the buttons on your coat and then were inside it, immediately going to your breasts.

You struggled with him, trying to push him off but he continued kissing you, and you heard his voice telling you to just admit you wanted it. The awful thing was, you did want him and it annoyed the hell out of you. However his current attitude was also annoying the hell out of you so you continued to push at his muscled, toned body to get him off you. But you were no match for the ex-Marine and you heard a ‘ting’ and the elevator doors opening as Billy continued to kiss and grope you. He pushed you firmly out of the lift, keeping hold of your arm and propelling you towards a door - the only door, you noticed - and then into the apartment after he unlocked the door. He slammed it behind him then was on you in a flash, grabbing your bag and throwing it onto the sofa before stripping off your coat and dropping it on the floor. You were aware of being in a large open-plan space with floor-to-ceiling windows and trendy furniture, before you were scooped up as easily as if you were a throw cushion and carried into an equally large bedroom. He kicked the door shut behind him and dumped you rather unceremoniously on the bed, stripping his clothes off in a matter of seconds and letting them fall where they may. Then he was back on you, flipping you over and unzipping your dress in one quick motion. He stripped it down off your shoulders, turned you back over and pulled it off you. You looked up at him, finally finding your voice, “Billy! Stop it.” He shook his head, “Nah, not happenin’ sweetheart. We’re gonna have sex now.” You opened your mouth but nothing would come out. Why couldn’t you say anything else?

Because you do want it, said a sly voice in your head. And whilst the caveman routine might not be the most appealing of Billy’s wooing techniques, he’d excited you beyond belief and you could feel how damp your panties were. You’d told yourself before the evening started that you weren’t going to have sex with him that night, but at the same time had perversely hoped that it would in fact happen. You were absolutely furious with yourself but at the same time, totally conflicted and unable to ignore the desire you felt for him.

You felt his fingers fumbling a bit at your back and then your bra was dramatically whipped off and thrown across the room. His mouth and hands were immediately on your breasts, fingers massaging and toying with one nipple while he licked the other, his tongue roughly raking over its peak and surrounding skin before he started to suck and bite at it, enough to make you squeal but not hard enough to cause you real pain. Then he swapped and your other breast came in for the same treatment. You felt his fingers sliding down your body and pulling at your panties, after a few seconds he then sat up and stripped them off you. They also joined your bra across the other side of the room. He lowered himself onto you, hands parting your legs and you knew he was guiding himself inside you. His hard length pushed into you and you felt the stretch much more than you had the first time you’d had sex with him. Of course he was in a more of a rush this time, seemingly desperate to have sex with you, judging by the way he’d thrown you down, ripped your clothes off and immediately got between your legs.

He slid his hands under your knees and lifted your legs up until your ankles were on his shoulders, deeply thrusting into you as he did so, and you heard yourself give a loud groan. He gave a long, low groan himself as he picked up his pace, and you heard his whispered words next to your ear, “You like that, sweetheart? Feel good?” “Yes!!!!!” you gasped, hating yourself for admitting it but it was the absolute truth. He kissed you passionately, hands running up and down your legs and onto your body as he thrust hard into you, mouth moving to your neck and collarbone, nipping at your skin then licking where he’d lightly bitten you. You climaxed first, Billy’s thumb having found its favourite place on your clit, and you’d dug your nails into his shoulders before running your hands up into his hair and pulling it. Hearing his answering chuckle, his hips cannoned into yours a final few times before you felt him release into you, and he sank down heavily on top of you, panting and trying to get his breath back. He moved off you and laid on his back, seemingly exhausted by his over-eager exertions. His head tilted towards you, “I’m not finished with you yet, sweetheart. Need more.”

You propped yourself up on an elbow, “Just what the fuck is all this neanderthal stuff about, Billy?” He sighed and looked back up at the ceiling. “Remember you said I wouldn’t know what a relationship was if it bit me on the ass?” “Yeah?” “You’re right. I’ve never experienced a loving relationship in my life. I dunno what love is, really.” Then out it all spilled.... his abandonment as a very young kid, the group homes, the abuse, the stigma. How he’d signed up for the Marines as soon as he was old enough, got a business degree before shipping out, how Frank had his back almost from day one. The dark eyes eventually looked into yours, “So just confirmin’ - I’m officially shit at relationships.” You nodded thoughtfully, “Well... now I understand things a little bit better, Billy. You discard women after a very short time as a self-defence measure, because you have a fear of being abandoned again. Ditch them before they can ditch you, right? Because you still have self-esteem issues, deep down underneath that confident exterior. It’s hard to overcome years of being looked down upon and sidelined.” You reached out and ran your fingers through his small patch of chest hair. He flinched slightly so you withdrew your hand, but his own hand went out and he laid it on top of yours for a brief moment.

Then he sat up a bit and stretched, laughing as he did so, “Told you, you’re in the wrong job, sweetheart.” He leaned back onto the pillows, carefully looking away from you, “Guess I didn’t do a very good job of lettin’ you know I want you to stay around and be with me?” You sat up, pulling one of the sheets over you, “What?” you asked. He looked over at you again, “All of this,” his hand waved vaguely between you and him, “This is me tryna let you know I really like you. I honestly missed bein’ with you during the week. An’ I was really busy, me and Frank, all week - I wasn’t tryna avoid you, okay? All I could think about was the night we spent together, how I want that to be a regular thing. Spend time with you.”

You started chuckling to yourself before it bubbled up into real laughter. He’d been looking down and fidgeting with the covers but now his head swung up and his eyebrows pulled into a frown. You calmed down a little and reached out to him, softly stroking his shoulder, “Billy... I’m not really laughing at you. Well, I suppose I am but only because I’m really surprised. That’s not how guys usually let girls know they’re interested! - kidnapping them and telling them that they will have sex with them.” Billy grunted, “Yeah, I realise that. It’s what I’m tryna tell you, sweetheart. I’m shit at this kinda stuff.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Sunday lunchtime, you met up with Karen who was gagging to know what had happened on Friday night. You dutifully recounted everything, even Billy’s metamorphosis into caveman as you left the hotel. Karen’s expression got more and more incredulous and as you drew to a close with his admission of being completely crap at all things relationship-related, she finally said, “Fuck! That’s unbelievable. So how did you leave things? You kick him to the curb?”

You took a sip of your G&T, and smiled back at her, “He wants me to teach him what a real relationship is all about.”

“And you’re prepared to take a chance on him and show him, are you?” You nodded, “Yeah I guess I am, Karen. I know it sounds crazy, but he wants to try. And I’d like to try. So we went from fake to genuine as of Friday night.”

She chuckled, shaking her head and sipping her drink before saying, “Well, you’re a glutton for punishment, I’ll say that for you. And I wish you the best of luck trying to tame that bad boy.” She lifted her glass and you clinked yours against hers, “Thanks, Karen. I’m just gonna take it one day at a time. If it doesn’t work out...” you shrugged, “...at least I gave it a shot.” She put her hand over yours, “Do you think he’ll keep it in his pants? He’s used to putting it about all over town,” squeezing your hand, “...sorry to have to say that honey, but it’s true.” You nodded, “Yeah I know, and all I can say is he’s promised he won’t be doing that from now on. But if I get even a whiff of another woman’s perfume off him, I will be kicking him to the curb faster than he can say ‘it’s not what you think, sweetheart’, believe me! And I’ve told him that too, in no uncertain terms.” She nodded, “Well, you’ve given him fair warning so if he fucks up, that’s definitely on him.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Frank threw his head back, giving a great belly laugh which went on for a lot longer than Billy Russo thought it should do. After a few moments, Frank’s face had gone beet red and tears were squeezing out of the corners of his eyes. Billy folded his arms across his chest, sitting back in the diner booth and scowling at Frank, “Okay, okay, Frankie - enough already,” he grumbled as Frank continued to laugh. Eventually Frank calmed down enough to speak, “Russo! I don’t believe it, I really don’t. Does that girl know what she’s letting herself in for?! She must be missing a few rounds out of her ammo clip.” Billy pulled a face, “Look... I like her, okay? She’s gonna teach me what a proper relationship’s like. She’s willin’ to give me a chance, so cut me some slack over here, will ya?” Frank took a big pull at his beer, “Oh Russo, how the fuck ya gonna keep it in your pants?” (unknowingly parroting Karen’s very same comment to her friend). Billy shrugged, “Look...I will, I tell ya. I mean it, I only want her. The sex is....” he made a chef’s kiss hand gesture, “....and she doesn’t take any of my shit, either. I really like her, Frankie. I think I’m ready to...” “Settle down? Really, Bill - are you? Cos if you fuck this up, you’ve got Karen to deal with as well as your girl.”

Billy took a hit of his beer, “You think I don’t know that? And I’d get a ton of crap from you too, cos Karen’d be upset. You like her, dontcha?” Frank’s cheeks went a slight shade of pink, “Well, yeah. I guess I do.” Now it was Billy’s turn to laugh, “You guess you do? Frankie, you’re like a teenager with a major crush every time your phone rings! ‘Ooh, it’s Karen!’” he said, the last bit in a high-pitched voice. “I do not talk like that!” Frank growled at him, “And you better spend your energy learning how to treat a woman properly, rather than ripping the shit outta me, Russo!”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Your phone dinged and you picked it up, seeing a text notification from Billy on the screen. Turning your phone briefly towards Karen to show her this, you clicked on it and then smiled as you read it. Showing the message to her, she also smiled, “Wow, seems like he’s definitely trying!” You agreed, “I do believe he is!” Maybe this crazy relationship thing you and Billy had agreed to embark on did have a chance of working out after all. You definitely still had your misgivings - does a leopard (or panther) really change its spots? - but you were willing to give it a try as long as Billy stuck to his end of the bargain. No other women, no lying, spending a lot of quality time together... let’s just see how all that goes, you thought. Re-reading the text, it made you smile once more.

Billy’s text said simply, “I’m missing you, sweetheart. Come over to mine, I’ll cook you dinner.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

(My photo edit)

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Tags: @blackbirddaredevil23 @galaxyjane @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @ourloveisforthelovely @swthxrry

(Using D&D’s taglist, if you’d prefer to be removed, just let me know!)

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

#ben barnes #billy russo #billy russo x reader #billy russo fanfiction #billy russo imagine

[organic-guacamole]

episode 210 here we go

awww seb doing the intro

congratulations to milky white and her baby chocolate milk😌

seb is so funny

but seriously, clean up that milk fast or else it will smell so bad in there....

was that Lauryn just randomly doing cartwheels? idk any theatre kids irl but that seems like it's a common thing...

is it just me or has ms Jenn been getting more harsh to Ricky and Seb mainly-

like what did they do to her

no because I actually snorted with laughter at the "you came back" WHAT IS THAT VOICE-

AND THE MASK OMG

yeah so my throat hurts now

I'm dying over here

KOURTNEY'S FACE

SAME GIRL SAME

Ricky's fake death got the whole place in tears /s

he looks like an asthmatic walrus

Seb's on piano, I love

we all know if he was the beast we'd all actually be crying✋

ok but I listen to Julia's version of home on Spotify when I want to cry-

right so gimme a second

is Ricky scratching his face.....while he's dying?

"belle i-" *flop*

round of applause to Ashlyn for trying to make Ricky's earthworm seizure look less.... yknow

Kourtney's just dying there

WAIT IS THAT NATALIE

did she really just disappear for 9 episodes just to come back and stare dramatically into the camera

WAIT SCRATCH THAT SHES HERE TO MURDER ASHLYN AND RICKY

oh so Ricky's wearing a gay shirt now too

so that's the real reason why Rini broke up, see y'all next season when Gini and caswen become canon /j

wait that was a long intro scene-

what was that look Carlos-

TALK TO MY BOY OR ELSE

carlos' run is so funny to me

therapist Ashlyn to the rescue

"that is...super" son you good?

ms Jenn call Benjamin, he would willingly put his loved ones on a rocket and blast them into Venus for you....

maybe

"I don't want you kids to be disappointed" girl you do realise you're the one that's most invested in this?

"a smooth opening night" wasn't there just 1 show though-

like their opening night was closing night too

"I think I was Troy at one point" PLEASE THATS THE MOST ACCURATE DESCRIPTION OF THE SEASON 1 FINALE

me Jenn looks like a serial killer during that clap and I'm lowkey scared for zacky

"I have notes"

oo if you're taking suggestions, lemme get my list

"mother is freaking out" uhhhhhh

right....'mother"

"is everyone sitting down?"

*looks around awkwardly*

*big red slowly sits*

"no..."

please seb was the only one sitting-

does that mean Carlos looked at Seb as soon as he walked in and assumed that everyone else was sitting too or am I a seblos clown🤡

"is this about the transformation"

WOW MAYBE OT IS RICKY

WOW HES A DETECTIVE FOR FIGURING THAT OUT SO QUICK🤩

YO WHY IS NATALIE HERE-

she just shows up when it's convenient? is she gonna be at the sleepover too?

Seb's heavy swallow after Carlos shouts at him makes me so sad

"I never learned how to lie but I figure if I keep my mouth closed, I can't tell the truth" *nods and smiles at Nini when she asks*

why are they casually standing up all over the pizza shop, just sit at a big table and talk instead of blocking passageways and blocking off at least 6 tables-

"how about I invite myself" WHY DO PEOPLE ALWAYS FEEL THE NEED TO INVITE THEMSELVES TO ASHLYN'S HOUSE-

YOU CAN ASK BUT JUST FORCE YOUR WAY IN?

so Cash Caswell has a bigger house than... Dennis Caswell.... who would've thought

ah yes there's the good old EJ 1.0

Nini: "boys vs girls"

Gina: *looks devastated and glances longingly at EJ*

way to be inconspicuous

"but north high should be" *cracks her knuckles in the most uncomfortable way*

good for Ashlyn for getting more confident though

oo bossy big red

"i get bossy around the power tools"

is that why Ashlyn was holding up the drill in episode 8 orrrr 🤠

oh

Lily, leave him alone please

she's literally not blinking, is that what makes her creepy?

the diss at big red and his face afterwards is priceless

isn't that similar to what Gina's mom said to her in season 1? hmmmm

but seriously please don't try to redeem lily, let us have a character to hate, or to love because they're evil.

not everyone's a good guy.

"im not liked here and I don't know what to do"

let antoine finish his salad and it'll fix everything

"hug emoji" *gags*

y'all realize Lily's literally 14?

why is she calling a 16/17 year old from another school for personal advice-

"he gets weird around tools"

I shouldn't be laughing so hard

"deja vu maybe?" awkward silence

I'm dying here I love EJ so so so so much

"where's seb"

*cuts to seb being held hostage hoping that they'd notice he's missing and go look for him*

"don't ask"

"oh ok"

"100% real faux fur" as you should queen

sponsored by target

Kourtney is singlehandedly saving the entire show.

Seb making finger guns make me happier than it should

why is this kinda making me want to have a co-ed sleepover with my non-existent theatre friends

YES YOU DO NEED TO TALK/SING TO SEB CARLOS THANK YOU FOR KNOWING THAT

wait what-

you haven't talked to him all WEEK-

Carlos are you stupid /hj

Benjamin is so adorable I can't

he turned around to come back for her instead of going home. you're "what do you want Jenn🙄X act isn't fooling anyone Benjamin 🙃

10101

1+4+16= 21st?

they placed 21st?

or do I just not remember how to convert to base ten

GIRL DON'T BE RUDE TO HIM, HE'S GONNA SAVE YALL

no ms Jenn, the kids are not eccentric 35 year olds.

aww sebby

is he thinking that Carlos is only with him cuz he's the only other openly gay guy at school-

son you are a perfect little bean don't put yourself down

yes they all ship portwell as they should.

they'll be throwing risotto at the wedding.

not the chocolates. stop there are no chocolates. please stop I'm dying.

Gina you don't have to explain yourself to her

it was a misunderstanding and it's in the past

why is Ashlyn still laughing-

exactly it wasn't a big deal please just move on Nini

Kourtney really be out here saving everything

WHY IS ASHLYN STILL LAUGHING

why do I feel like when Gina finally told Ash about it, she didn't think it was that funny but wanted to feel included in the inside joke so now she brings it up randomly to show that she's in on it....I totally don't do that...

"idk, the farmer type" oh son...

Ashlyn and big red are just spilling the secrets back and forth huh?

OOO EJ AND GINA SITTING IN A TREE K-I-S-S-I-

cmon guys don't look at me like that-

"she is the best" and "we're buddies" don't sound right together

"pretty boy" "sweet boy" best ways to describe EJ

I love him.

and aw he's scared of rejection so he'll hold back just to keep her happy and not awkward how sweet

is Ricky wondering if letting her go(literally his song from last episode) was the best thing he did for Nini because he doesn't feel like it now? hmmm this is getting good

why is everyone so invested in Kourtney and Howie's relationship

PACK UP THE LAZY RICKY THING

oh yes Benji, that's exactly what she's doing

she couldn't follow her dream or whatever so now she's using the kids to gain some of the success she craves. why else would she have that massive hsm poster with her name on it in huge letters in her office.

just casually grab his hand with both your hands and stare at him creepily 🥰

ship jennzzara y'all

the first bump was a missed opportunity to do the baymax "falalala" as a reference to the fact that they watched big hero six while committing arson✋

wait so big red and EJ just left Ricky in the basement and now Ricky invited Carlos when they're supposed to be at the stage?

help no Ricky looks like he's about to tell Carlos he likes him (I know it's about writing the song for seb but still, look at his body language and tell me it doesn't look like that)

Ricky is so mature about this, he really just wants Nini to be happy even though he's hurting-

baby you deserve love, maybe Nini isn't the one for you but don't say you don't deserve it

why does he keep adding bro to the end like he doesn't know how to address Carlos

PLEASE CARLOS HAVING TO ADDRESS THE BRO THING

"let's write a song when we have like 45 minutes to get to the place and help our friends possibly win $50000 at the show in 2 weeks"

"can you hit a high C?"

"that's like the bottom of my range"

why am I laughing

this is so cool to see friendship interactions that we don't normally get to see

Nini why are you being like this-

Gina did nothing wrong??

I saw that, EJ and Gina being the only ones going in the same direction👀

right so obviously Kourtney's waiting until after the menkies to get back with Howie just in case he really is just using her as a way in to east high... obviously... right?

CARLOS

OK ITS COMING GET READY YALL

Why is portwell so awkward all of a sudden

OMG EJ

OMG GINA SAY YES or not, do what you want.

the way she doubts that EJ would genuinely ask so she has to make sure it's not Ashlyn behind it

OH

THE "NOT THAT I KNOW OF"

LIKE WHAT GINA SAID TO JACK ABOUT EJ BEING HER BOYFRIEND

GUYS THEY'RE SOULMATES

I want risotto now please

THEY'RE SO SWEET AND ADORABLY AWKWARD ITS LIKEEK LITTLE KIDS

OOOOOOO what is this place that seblos is in, looks fancy....and secluded

oh wait no Ricky's just standing there

wait is it the bomb shelter

it looks so good what

HSKAGSJAGAJAGWISGSKAUASBWKSVAIWBAISBQKSHIQBWOABWOABDOQBZIQBAIAQBSIWBQISVQKSIANSGOQBSAISBKASBKWBAIABQOSBBSJAHAJAVAJSBAJHSKAHSJAHAJAJAAJAHHHHHHHH

@youranxiousnerd ARE YOU OK?

CUZ IM NOT OK

LOOK AT SEBBY'S FACE

LOOK AT HOW ADORABLE IT IS

THE LYRICS ARE KILLING ME

SEBLOS IS KILLING ME

I AM DEAD

PLEASE SEND HELP

I like to imagine that Frankie and Joe practiced this in their apartment and just had a blast with it.

or maybe that Frankie practiced in secret like what Joe did for the climb

OH THE SUITS

THATS WHERE THAT CLIP IN THE PROMO WAS FROM

AWWW SEBBY'S SO CUTE

HE'S A LITTLE MARSHMALLOW

they're still so awkward with the dance I cant

let's appreciate Frankie's voice though

this episode really was made just for the seblos and portwell stans and you gotta love it

BIG RED GET OUT

WHY DOES HE ALWAYS DO THIS

Seb's little "yeah" IS ADORABLE

you can't tell me that wouldn't have been the best time for them to say I love you....IF FREAKIN BIG RED WASN'T THERE

ok but wait Ricky needs more hugs like that, look at his face

the boy needs love

"bro" please don't let Ricky and Carlos go back to not talking because their friendship is amazing

EJ laughing at Ricky sounding like a cat coughing up a furball is so funny to me

RICKY'S FLOP GETS ME EVERYTIME

I knew it was too good to be true

ok so Ricky's dead, next in line please

this episode was so short but I love it so much. this is what I signed up for for season 2✋

#hsmtmts #hsmtmts s2 #hsmtmts season 2 #ej caswell #ricky bowen #gina porter #hsmtmts spoilers #seblos #seb mathew smith #carlos rodriguez #big red #ashlyn caswell #kourtney greene #lily hsmtmts #ms jenn #mr mazzara #natalie bagley #guac's episode text blocks :)

[sootcharlie]

i was thinking recently abt how wilbur soot is like an irl quirky netflix movie love interest, or like an oc id make and get very attached to, so i made a list of all the reasons wilbur soot doesnt seem like a real person but instead a guy i made up for a movie script about learning to love life or something when i was 15 and wished i had cool irl friends (disclaimer: he is very much a real person):

he sometimes just decides that some things are his things (tm), like deciding hes going to run a minecraft country, or be a drug dealer, or that hes gonna speak in a new zealand accent, or middle part his hair, or deciding his friends are his canonical family without consulting them first, or eating too many pistachios (and then smashing a hole in his window). he just decides to do something q u i r k y and sticks with it.

his sense of fashion rly does look like he was dressed to play the part of “cool indie guitar best friend“ in “netflix teen movie #1879453“. he also collects shirts with usa presidential campaigns on them, which is a hobby he shares with one of his good friends, and allegedly they go on amazon and shop for them together.

there are so many iconic screenshots of him that ppl use for redraws. like the one where he put a bottle of air freshner to his head as if it was a gun in your new boyfriend, or the shot of him fake-smoking a bent cigarette while wearing a baseball cap in one day, or that time he middle parted his hair and put on sunglasses on stream and just vibed with it. theyre like scenes from a movie that are asking to be drawn by various different artists.

i will never forget abt that one time on new years he drank a fuck ton of vodka, went skinny dipping in freezing water and allegedly sent pictures of his ass to jack manifold. what the fuck.

his history consists of running a reddit channel, as well as an arg where he pretended to be a creepy stalker editor for his favourite minecraft youtuber, dressing up as a ceiling fan for halloween, pretending to write a film to impress a girl he liked when he was 17 and cover up his bullshit story proceeding to actually write a film script, and probably more stuff im missing.

his music. besides his two serious albums, he wrote 4 and a half songs where he pretended to be an incel obsessed with an e-girl. the opening lines to the song in the first lovejoy music video, one day, is “stop! cuz whyd you have to kill my cat?“ which sounds like the opening lines to a song theyd write for this imaginary movie as a joke abt how quirky he is.

we literally dont know his birthday, he makes up a different date every time someone asks him.

some misc things hes known for are running a twitter account where he exclusively spoke in emojis, also posting weird voice recordings on that account like that time he talked about pistachios and punching a hole in his window, being suspiciously good at making up songs on the spot (ex the vape song, the discord song). he is also 6′5′‘. and he literally punched his old computers motherboard live on stream after mcc to destory it and the stream cut out right before we could actually see him punch it (sad), he named his instruments, was accused of lying about everything so much that he had to put out a statement saying that he doesnt actually lie about everything and lying about everything was a lie. speaking of lies he said hes not allowed within 15 feet of his old office for,, was it cult activity?? i honestly cant remember anymore

he with the rest of lovejoy literally just disappeared into the woods for 3 weeks

all /lh btw all of this stuff makes him very cool

#wilbur soot #mcyt #lovejoy #lvjy

[tehohaews]

2020 CREATOR WRAP: FAVORITE WORKS

 Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 (or so) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works.

Thank you soooo much Nuria @taytawan for tagging me 🥺💖and ignore how late this is oops

Okay so 2020 is the year that I returned to “the internet” and I’m grateful cause otherwise I wouldn’t get to know all of you lovely people.Thank you for existing and making me feel like I belong somewhere 💖💖 So, along with my works I'm also gonna mention some of my favorite people and their works here and If you’ve ever made me smile you’re here and I love you <3

@snugglesweaters  Terryyyyyyy. My closest friend here 🥺 I’ve never told you this but if it wasn’t for you,I doubt I would’ve lasted this long here. It's nice knowing someone as clueless and a clown like me. I can talk to you about anything and I feel like we have similar views on stuffs.I love making random references to fics and knowing that you’ll get it cause we kind of read the same fics. I love this tine glitter fic of yours (yes tine glitter fic), obviously this cause (vampire) bright in a beanie AND the coffee shop au hc that only I know about hehe. I love your (almost) phd brain and hope you’re doing well in your dissertation. YOU CAN DO IT DW. And may you stay healthy,hydrated,safe and happy in the coming year 😊💖 I love you soooooooo muchhhhhhh 💖💖💖

@lesbian-earn Mayyyyy!!!. My co president of the short people supremacy club. You are so sweet and kind and thank you for reaching out to me that one day I was feeling a bit anxious.It’s always lovely to see you on my activity and on the dash. Like I once said, you remind me of sunshine and ilu 💖💖 Hope that the next year is kind to you and you’ll do well in your uni stuffs dw, I know you can.💖 Also I’ve said this before but i looooveeee this fic of yours and when I found out it was you dfjidfjidfidf

@taytawan Nuriaaaaaaa 💖💖 You say that I’m kind but it’s always because you are so sweet and talented that I can’t help screaming about your works everytime I see them. If I’m not mistaken, the name Nuria comes from the word Nur meaning light. You make the world brighter and a better place by your presence and I’ve said this before but really, it would’ve been very lonely without you in this 2g circus. I love these two sets of yours (I mean I did write an essay in the tags when I saw this) .Thank you for everything, I love you and I hope that you remain safe and happy in the coming year 💖💖 (Also join mine and May's short people club,Terry isn't invited ofc jdjsdjasjij)

@brightwinfilm NATH efhifhihis my (almost) birthday twin. LISTEN we’re gonna have so much fun in March, 1) Itsay part 2 AND your birthday 2)Sarawat’s birthday 3) My birthday and 4)since we’re here let’s just say Tine’s birthday is in March too hehehe. Thank you for all the lovely sarawatine and brightwin content you make, they never fail to make me smile.I love this set of yours and this also cause hehehe i WILL bring this back muhahhaa.You’re a wonderful person and you make the world a better place. Take care of yourself and I hope that you are always happy,healthy and safe 💖 i love youuu

@ryudian​ My go to person when I need any updates. You are SO HELPFUL and so NICE. I love going to your blog and seeing your st dolls and all the crazy stuffs you do because of bw. And I absolutely loved what you did with the oishi drinks here. May you be happy and safe in the coming year and stop spending so much money on merch I'm worried you'll go bankrupt

@komari-maxx​ I love seeing you on my activity and I love your st dolls and fics, specially this fruity4 one cause sdhididhid you included my hc of them arguing over the colour on lunch.This totally happened no one can change my mind. Hope you'll be happy (with your st dolls hehe) in the coming year

@teh-ohaew *tarn voice* Eyy TAY djidjijid hehe oops. Tay and Teh sound so similar specially in tarn's voice. Omg Teh Tay besties. TAYYYYY I love youuuu and I love reading your tags and seeing you on my dash except when you and Ayesha go crazy sdhusdh hehe jk. You are so nice and I love this sarawatine ig hc of yours. Hope you have a lovely year ahead and remain happy,healthy and safe. Don't forget to take care of yourself (by that I mean listen to the itsay original score on repeat)

@metawin JAYYYYY. I still remember the first time I came across your blog, it was when you were (probably) rewatching wyel and blogging about it crazily. I was laughing so hard at those and then you followed me back and I still to this day have no idea why. It's comforting seeing your posts in the tags and the dash and I absolutely love this itsay set of yours. You are so talented and lovely and I hope that you have a wonderful year ahead. Lots of love <3333

@gremlinmetawin Ayesha bb 🥺🥺 You were the first person who interacted with me here and I love you for that. It's lovely seeing you in my dash and thank you for tagging me in tag games, I have fun doing them 💖💖 tbh I know like 3 Ayeshas irl but you are the loveliest and kindest of them all. Hope that the next year is kind to you,bring you happiness and you finally finish all those unwatched shows

@khaotungthanawat SAMMMMM Have I said that you are SO TALENTED this week? although tbh you deserve to hear that everyday. You always say that it's nothing but no, you ARE talented and kind. It's wonderful seeing your posts ( I feel like you're everywhere nowadays another proof that you work hard). You are a blessing to this world and I hope for you to be always happy and safe 💖💖.I love this st set, this itsay one and the tags of this post 😂😂 I will never not laugh at this.If this doesn't happen in the st special special askdkdsks 

@metawwin ALIIIIIIIII, queen of parallels djijidjias. I love going through your blog and seeing all your 2g stuffs.I absolutely adore this set of yours. You are so talented and you make the world a happier place <3 I love youuuuu and I hope you're staying hydrated,taking care of yourself and doing the things you love. You deserve all the love and happiness in the world 💖💖

@wirapong AISHIIIIII Hope you're doing well. I've screamed about this already BUT this club drama fic? lives in my head rent free. Also I love all your soft baby wat fics cause WAT IS A BABY. Glad we have Tine as the President of the Sarawat protection squad. I love your writing. you're so talented and I hope that the coming year will bring you happiness <33

@acequinz Hi Ace!! I love your incorrect quotes sideblog and I love your fics, specially this, this and this. You're a lovely person and I hope that you have a wonderful year ahead.

@bisexualrep DORAAAA We haven't talked in a while but I smile whenever I see you in my activities. You are maybe the 4th person who followed me here and it still feels weird cause this and this? some of my fav wyel fics of all time. It's lovely reading your tags, they are so cheerful <3 Hope you're doing well and taking care of yourself. You deserve to be happy always 💖💖

Omg this is so long. If you're still here, here are some of the works that I'm proud of. 1)This itsay set. This was my first time doing big gifs and although this is loooong I like how this turned out, specially the colouring. 2) This cause do I do anything except 2g shitposting? No <3 I had this idea even before s2g aired but decided to wait so that I have more shots from s2g and I'm glad I did cause Earn basically got confirmed as a wlw so (Also special thanks to Terry cause the Man and Air hc were hers,her phd brain ikr) 3)This cause dcjsdjidi SARAWATINE SOULMATES. I love how the colouring turned out despite the fact that ps crashed halfway and I lost the gifs i spent 2 hours colouring. I tried to do this with scenes from the series only but couldn't cause wHen YoU aRe wItH yOuR cAmeRA SHOW US goddammit. If this was ao3 this would've been tagged as Tine teepakorn loves Sarawat guntithanon xD 4) Still2gether textposts obviously. I KNOW that 90% people follow me for my 2g shitposting and I got an ask once saying how were they so accurate and the reason for that is I spent HOURS on these. Atfirst it took a long time but after a while I got the hang of it. It was fun (though sometimes tiring) to make these after each ep aired. I'm proud of it and the fact that I managed to do 13 parts? gsjsdjsj 5) Still2gether subs that looks fake but aren't. shutup this was my first time giffing but it was funnnnn looking for the (canon) crack parts after every ep aired. 

Also,thank you to all the lovely people who likes and reblogs my posts, I do see you and I love you all <33 

Tagging: If you’re here then consider yourself tagged if you wanna do this or to anyone who sees this on the dash

#i wrote this at 4 am so this might not make sense #but anyway #HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE #tag game

[zappho]

Some Meta on Murdock and mental illness

Generally speakig, The A-Team is a dumbass, light-hearted comedy with action on the same level as youtube poop videos. Obviously there isn’t alot of depth to be found here. The show had tons of different writers, all with their own take on Murdock and none of them offer any clear info or a proper backstory for the character. It’s basically up to the audience to fill in the blanks and that’s exactly what I’m gonna do by overanalyzing the mess that is the show’s canon.

The question of whether Murdock is ‘‘‘really crazy or just faking’‘’ has been around for over 30 years, but I’m gonna argue that he’s both.

When Kelly visits Murdock in the psychiatric hospital and confronts him about why he’s living there in the first place he gets instantly uncomfortable.

He really didn’t want her to ask, it’s why he’s been avoiding her. Joking about how you’re hashtag crazy™ is easy; having to admit that you’ve been institutionalized for over 10 years because you have legitimate problems is much harder. (Sure, the VA also gives him a convenient cover from the military police, but if that was the only reason for him to stay he wouldn’t react to Kelly’s question in this way). “It’s a long story”, is all he says. There are clearly some painful memories here that he’d rather not delve into.

He’d have to explain how he got committed in the first place. We know that after the gang was arrested for war crimes in ‘71, Murdock was still serving as a pilot in ‘72. They never clarified when and how Murdock was sent home, but i’m guessing without his only friends around and it being, you know...war, his mental health eventually deteriorated until he received a medical discharge straight into the VA hospital.

After Murdock gets wrongly released in season 1, instead of his friends being worried about his supposed cover getting blown they just shrug it off and go ‘Oh well!’ (This could all be due to the show’s inconsistent writing, but you know)

No longer being an inpatient would finally allow Murdock to be employed as a pilot again (his #1 passion), and yet he seems really disheartened about the situation. Even though the hospital gives him no privacy, the staff barely respects him and he spends most of his time there by himself, he still prefers to stay.

For a character who’s allegedly cheery comic relief, he sure gets his feelings hurt alot, mainly when dealing with other people’s ableism towards him. B.A. and Face are obviously just palling around, just guys bein’ dudes, they don’t want to hurt Murdock for real, they probably don’t realize how sensitive Murdock is about the subject. Usually he plays along or shrugs it off, but sometimes he gets genuinely upset. In the first half of In Plane Sight he’s so fed up with it he tries to ‘‘act normal’‘ until #Woke #Queen Hannibal reassures him that they love him the way he is.

PTSD was barely starting to become a diagnosis when the show first aired, but I think it’s fair to say he suffers from it. The pilot episode states that he has anxiety, paranoia and memory loss, so that checks out.

With PTSD you don’t just have to deal with flashbacks and nightmares, but also intrusive thoughts, images and memories about your trauma. Murdock copes with it by getting hyperfixated on a new activity or pretending he’s someone else. This is were alot of people will go ‘‘haha wow look how wacky and insane he is! He’s talking to his sock 😂’‘. But Murdock knows it’s all made up nonsense, he just needs his mind to focus on something else. What’s important here is that he never lets his coping mechanisms distract him when he’s flying, first of all he’s already focused and also he doesn’t wanna crash (lol). There’s a believability to his actions that’s missing in the 2010 reboot.

In the episode where the gang helps out the vietnamese cook from the POW camp where they’ve been tortured, Murdock tries to distract himself with some golfballs. He soon starts projecting his trauma on them however.

I think this is the only time in the show where Hannibal tears up, so this scene is kinda significant. As the leader, he probably blames himself for getting his team captured and tortured, and seeing that Murdock is still so strongly affected by it gotta hurt. 

Compared to the rest of the gang, Murdock’s alot more fucked up over the war. There are subtle changes in his voice whenever he talks about it. In the ep about their old war buddy Ray, Face was reminiscing about how cool of a guy Ray was for borrowing him his helmet, Murdock’s memories meanwhile are much less upbeat. ‘My bird was the only one left in the sky’ he remembers while we see an image of a field filled with shot down helicopters. His experiences are bound to be different from the other three as a huey medevac pilot. Murdock did have one off-screen breakdown in the present timeline, after collecting every newspaper article about the upcoming execution of the team in Firing Line. Apparently it was bad enough that he had to be restrained. It’s been 10 years, so he’s recovering and getting better, but he’s still not all there yet.

Everyone knows Murdock’s just messing around when he’s being interrogated by the military about his connections to the team, but like what about when the military isn’t there; or NO ONE is. He often talks to himself or just puts weird shit in his mouth for no reason while nobody’s paying attention to him (eating leaves, paint, an entire raw egg, a frozen sandwich). Sometimes he’s just unhinged like that.

Another thing that’s brought up a few times in the show is his anxiety. Murdock’s often seen being generally tense, sweaty, uncomfortable or reflective in the background of a scene. (I have no idea if this was a deliberate acting choice but Dwight does have anxiety irl so who knows if that had anything to do with it, I mean who knowsssssss, i’m just observing)

He’s got a habit of fidgeting with his hands or touching his neck when he’s stressed out. Murdock also does it when he’s telling his psychiatrist Dr. Richter about his dreams “If you were me, wouldn’t you be terrified to put your head down?” he asks him.

Richter isn’t really paying attention though, because he’s so used to Murdock’s non-stop clownery, he can’t exactly tell when his patient decides to be honest about his feelings for once. He just replies ‘Well only if it was a bad dream’. Which really irritates Murdock because what other dreams besides bad would he have? So he derails the session by rambling some made up bullshit on purpose.

Richter knows that Murdock uses humor and fantasy to cope, but he’s obviously tired of Murdock’s cringe antics, he just wants to help him. But Murdock doesn’t like to open up and be confronted with his traumas again, he just wants to avoid talking about it all together. There are still parts of reality that Murdock’s not ready to deal with, or he wouldn’t always retreat into his fantasies.

Before he can continue messing around a helicopter passes by and Murdock freezes for a second. Richter assures him that the helicopter is real; Murdock nods and starts fidgeting with his hands again, seemingly in deep thought. We know from the season 4 finale that he hears the sound of rotor blades when he dissociates. He was definitely being sincere here.

After getting drugged by some military goons he has a few brief flashbacks (feat. cheesy 80′s neon filters): seeing the chopper fly away, getting stuck in a potted plant as if he was walking through the jungle, being surrounded by heavy smoke and sparks from the burning carpet).

Despite being the 2nd highest ranked team member, Murdock dislikes being in charge and gets severly distressed when anything goes wrong that he might even be slightly responsible for. Most notably is the episode where the owners of the diner get kidnapped after Murdock got knocked out by evil cowboys or hill billies or whatever they were. Instead of telling anyone what happened, he’s just lying on the floor, repeatedly calling himself a failure until the others show up.

Seems like Murdock gets startled more easily than the rest of the crew as well. We often see him flinch when guns go off; one time he literally wore fluffy ear muffs to a backalley shootout.

This short moment from Family Reunion always stood out to me. Face opens the van door a little too quickly and it takes Murdock so off-guard he has to take deep breaths to calm down.

Murdock sounds exhausted when he has to remind Face not to sneak up on him. Face also realizes he messed up, he just wanted to check up on Murdock and not trigger him on accident.

When it comes to portrayals of mental illness in fiction there’s obviously better representation out there than Murdock. But sometimes you just wanna see a mentally ill character have a good time instead of being miserable 24/7. And Murdock’s already got the worst behind him, he’s had therapy for years and friends who love him. I just think that’s refreshing to see, especially with a character who’s so kind and openly affectionate.

#the a team #hm murdock #howling mad murdock #mental illness #dwight schultz #meta #out here being corny at 2am #ptsd

[teacup-tyrant]

SHADOW & BONE REVIEW: EP 8

On this episode: Parting the Red Sea of Doom, off-camera mass death, and the Inejiest line we've gotten.

And final thoughts!

- Zoya: Alina you had one job!

- Suddenly back to Nina again? At a time like this?! I mean they’re really cute together in this scene but everything with them still feels so rushed and out of place. They're talking about waffles and book readers must be overjoyed, but show only's must be like wtf is going on here, we don't understand this, why are they eating Eggos???

- But I do love Nina's skirt and blouse. I have a skirt just like it! Kinda Edwardian looking.

- Killing Matthias would be a waste of 20k kruge! I concur, my good man, take him away and clap him in irons.

- And this Alina parted the Red Sea, err, the Fold. Really though, WHY are all these passengers here? They should be idk, below decks where it's safe, at the very least.

- "A man consumed with vengeance." "See it enough in the mirror do you?" Hahahahahahaaaaaa

- And that was how Mal became an honorary Crow. Ok.

- Time for some mass death! Well, they didn’t really show much of it so it was a little anticlimactic. ...Is it bad that I wanted to see the mass death? O.O

- Ah man time for more Mal spitting blood. And old classic.

- Is this a Suli team-up?!

- YAAS SANKTA ALINA DO THE THING

- What a money shot of Kaz walking alone in front of the Fold. Great shot. I want it as my desktop.

- Omg the Sankta Alina dagger. Kaz is like, fuck, Inej definitely loves Alina more than me, I have no chance now.

- "Have you found religion too?" Now THAT is a good Witty Kaz line.

- "The deal is the deal." *cries *

- Look at this height difference, excellent. Oh god. Kaz said he needs her. She said "AFTER THAT, WE’LL SEE." Yes YES that is exactly what Inej would say because she won’t settle for Kaz as he is even NOW in pre-canon fake-canon, but it is still the exact right thing for her to say, oh my god I’m so happy with that little exchange they just had.

- Ok yes Matthias sounds exactly like Bjorn from Vikings right now.

- Jesper did not just make a "the friends we made along the way" joke, are you kidding me.

- Well, how convenient your new heart render is sitting right there. You should spring Matthias from jail right now while you’re at it, it’ll save you a lot of trouble later on, trust me.

- Omg that smirk Kaz threw at Inej, I am deceased

- oh. ok. that's... it. omg it's over!

FINAL THOUGHTS

So, I don’t work in journalism or reviews anymore but my god has this ever been fun. Kind of makes me miss it, except not, because I’d rather have job security, hah hah RIP journalism careers.

Now here’s the thing. I’m a SoC stan first and forever. It’s been living on my bookshelf for 4 years and I could probably recite them in my sleep. So... the Crows' involvement here isn’t canon to me at all. But that’s NOT THE POINT. The point that the writers have said about involving the Crows is: are these characters believable in this situation? Is this heist something that these characters WOULD do? Am I buying into it? And my answer is a fat fucking YES. I treated this as a fun IRL fanfiction, just like LB said it was. And it’s all I ever hoped for. It’s everything I ever wanted and more. (Imma break this down later in another post probably. Probably specifically about Kaz and book writing vs. screenwriting, because that's what most people are taking issue with.)

The series was truly amazing. I am over the goddamn moon that it even exists in the first place and I can watch it whenever I want. Tbh, I will probably start rewatching it AGAIN tomorrow. Then I can actually concentrate on it and not pause every 5 seconds to write a reaction on my phone.

Well, that’s all for me. Thank you for coming. I hope someone enjoyed reading my thoughts as much as I enjoyed writing them.

Do feel free to reply or send me an ask with your own thoughts, your disagreements, or just tell me I’m a pretentious asshat. I'm a big girl, I can take it. See you next season (hopefully) or visit me on ao3 at teacup_tyrant for more of my ramblings. Spoiler: it's all kanej because of course it is.

ep1 | ep2 | ep3 | ep4 | ep5 | ep6 | ep7 | ep8

#pocketreviews #shadow and bone spoilers #sab spoilers #six of crows #grishaverse #kaz brekker #shadow and bone

[aro-aizawa]

suprisingly not that many people ship them, but the thing is. the "&" is literally in the top 3 relationships!! i have not been in a fandom where a "&" is one of the most popular rships. (im not exactly.. against them? i prefer brotp in general but there are a lot of uh racist antis against that romantic ship so i like it on principle for the ~spite~)

i think theres a difference between a ship fic and a ..normal fic(?). like. usually in ship fics the plot and the focus would be their interactions/getting together. whereas for regular fics u can kinda balance plot and rship, but the main plot isnt actually getting together. do u kinda get what i mean haha

no no feel free to rant! its kinda funny that they taught u to swear in yr6 but rip for not being able to censor urself. and also. broke up. over facebook??? better or worse than text lmao.

the only rship ive had started off... not great. like it was an online friend from south america, and they asked me out literally the day i rejected my friend. so... i said yes out of guilt for rejecting my friend bc it didnt look like my friend was taking the rejection well ^^; not a wonderful start rip. went well for 6-8 months then we broke up bc the honeymoon period wore off and i havent talked to them since! ✌🏻✌🏻✌🏻✌🏻✌🏻✌🏻✌🏻 it was fun tho, but it felt honestly just more online friends tbh (....interesting decisions all around yknow? )

it be how it be. i was still id'ing as panromantic ace at the time. but still. im wondering if i could eventually "work" with someone? or is that just. allonormative asgsggshshd

i see enemies to lovers but what i Rlly want is enemies to friends to lovers. the friends is necessary!! at least in a long fic haha. ...and love at first sight sounds really fake to me? it sounds just like a hyperbole tbh. like maybe it was first wow u seem like a great person and then u like, get to know each other and then fall in love, etc etc

(👀 oop i type a lot. Rip)

oh yiiiikes i hate when fandom gets those racist fans. i’m kind of,,, dense?? about that kind of thing (abt a lot of similar things too), so whenever i see it, it’s like. mega bad. but nice! i don’t ever pay attention to what’s the most popular in terms of ao3 because when i get into a fandom i’ll blacklist every thing i’m not comfortable seeing in said fandom and then save that for when i’m gonna check out said fandom. for example [here is my atla filters], [here is my mha filters] and [here is my ml filters]. (i also use an extention called ao3rdr which has a blacklist function and my blacklist is SO LONG. but it’s an essential so that i don’t feel like my brain is going to rot by trying to find good fics.)

ye!!! i always think abt it in terms similar to genres. i hate watching films and regular books because genres are so....stilted? and ridgid in what it involves? so in fandom terms i think there’s two main kind of genre categories that have sub categories. there’s ship fic, then there’s genfic. no clue if these are wide spread terms i’ve just kind of understood it that way lol. but within those two categories, there’s sub genres like canon divergence that focus on said ship but with a focus on the plot as well so there’s two plots going on rather than just the main plot. usually there’s always equals in both sides. i think that’s what you’re thinking of. the difference is how the authors approach their fics, whether they think it’s a ship fic explorating the how do they get together of relationships or if it’s the genfic of exploring the relationship itself.

lmao yeah it was like. the only way we’d communicate in non-irl fashion because we were both like. 12/13 so we’d have like. pay as you go plans for our phones so i at least, hoarded my credit and primarily used alternate communication methods. so idk if this is wide spread but at the time we never got into the habit of communicating via text. it’s why still to this day i never ever contact my irl friends via texts, and always through social media (the only time i ever use facebook nowadays is to message my friends tho i’ve been,,,, rather lax abt that. i need to respond to one of my group chats but i’m,,, procrastinating). and we were both awkward people, so i wasn’t bothered by the online breakup, if he didn’t break up w me that way i’d have guessed we just,,, wouldn’t address the relationship ever again and still technically be together but not at the same time lol

oh man that sounds rough. never had any experiences w online relationships, but i can definitely see where it could feel like an online friendship. because,,, idk maybe it’s just me but there doesn’t??? seem like there’s much?? romantic-esque stuff you can do exclusively online?? it’s why long distance relationships are hard, and they only fit certain couples. and lol i deffo understand that feel of internet friends dropping out of your life suddenly. i still think of nearly all my internet friends fondly...except for the bad ones. yeah some of those ones ten years ago were p bad.

it is!! i think that people always shorten it to just enemies to lovers though because it’s easier to say lol. i’m MUCH more interested in the genfic varient of enemies to found family because it goes from “god i want to kill you so bad” to “god i need to kill for you like rn”. it’s just,,, *chef’s kiss*

(dw i type a LOT too lmaooo and sorry it took so long for me to reply, i didn’t feel like talking to anyone for a few days ahah i just get those kinds of moods sometimes. as evidenced by my also ignoring of my friend group chat of over seven years, that i’ve been meaning to reply to for over 24 hours and i haven’t yet. yay.)

#anonymous #lemme know if you want me to tag these posts/asks/whatever w a specific tag or smth so you can see them all in one place #like if there's a nickname i can call you #again sorry for the late reply i wasn't ignoring you i was just...stressed lmao #my neighbour had a really loud party for over 8 hours last night #we're in the middle of a pandemic THOMAS #i knew you as a cute toddler don't throw parties when you're dad's away #have fun explaining the fine you're going to be getting bc i reported you :) #next time don't let your friends scream the words to loud music until 11pm #Anonymous

[alphabees-writes]

Glee - S1 E4 (Preggers)

And from this moment onwards, Kurt Hummel proceeded to steal every single damn scene he was in. I’m actually unironically excited for this one. I didn’t think that could still happen! Here goes!

I will always love this Single Ladies scene. I will always love season 1′s Tina/Kurt friendship. Also, Brittany’s here, inexplicably. Did he pay her for this? In Pixie sticks, perhaps? Or Monopoly money?

“Kurt’s Superstar Playlist” is the most adorable name his playlist could possibly have. All we get to see on it are 4 Beyonce songs, and 1 Gwen Stefani - but it’s a cute little insight.

God sometimes I forget how cute Jenna Ushkowitz is and then this scene really slaps me round the face with it huh!!!

WHY are you filming this, Kurt? What are you using this for? I’d love to know. I’d say it’s just to check out his own dancing technique but it’s in black and white… Where are you posting this!!!

I want that swingy-suspended chair thing he has in his room sooooo bad

Ok now the fact that this is being filmed is giving me fic ideas…

BURT HUMMEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BURT F U C K I N G HUMMEL BABIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God the look of fear on all three of their faces when they see Burt??? Don’t you worry kids he’ll come around real soon…

Burt’s approving nod when he yanks on Kurt’s unitard… God I love this man.

The LOOK on Kurt’s FACE when Brittany says he’s on the football team… I can hear his inner monologue like “bitch we may be in the basement but I will make a window to throw you out of”

Kurt just wants to relate to his old man so bad :( Baby boy he’s already so damn proud of you!!! Also that LAUGH.

He really just slapped Tina’s ass! And she completely rolls with it, the absolute champion. Also, the subtitles Netflix provided me with were (smacks bottom) and I just love that.

Oh god it immediately cuts to the WORST scene. Terri learning to give birth. William Schuester trying to help. Just let me perish, RIB?

Shout out to Kendra’s actress for somehow managing to make her character even more despicable than Terri!

Actually the shit she says to Will here is almost valid… All three of them are fucking awful huh!

Seriously why are Kendra and Terri the best actresses on this whole show? It’s the only reason I care about this fake pregnancy arc anymore…

The teacher’s lounge is always either an arid, desolate wasteland, or the only watering hole within 100 miles where all the thirsty ass teachers congregate. Take your pick.

Why does Will pretend to hesitate before going to sit with Ken and Emma? They’re the only people we ever see you talk to dude!!!

Ken with the psychoanalysis, wow. Just hit her right there buddy!

THAT’S HOW SUE C’s IT!!!

Rachel really just EXPECTS every solo… I almost forgot how bad she was when she started. “Maria is MY part!” Not anymore!! Kudos to Lea Michele for managing to make Rachel really sound like she thinks she’s the victim when she really isn’t.

Tina’s face… She was seriously happy. Season 1 Rachel SUCKS for even trying to take this from her. She IS talented. She IS ready!

Everybody else knows it’s a fat load of BS… Kurt lowers his sunglasses to look at her like she’s a bug beneath his shoe. Also, Kurt, why sunglasses? You don’t start getting hangovers ‘til next episode, sweetie!!

“You’re trying to punish me” I think being a total martyr might be one of Rachel’s worst traits early on in the series. I get that performing is her deal, but she can’t even take a second to at least fake being happy for Tina? Unreal.

Everybody else just moving straight on with it is hilarious. They’re all so happy for Tina and don’t give a shit about Rachel’s melodrama, which I’m living for!

I wanna be all “Finn’s an arrogant bastard for assuming Kurt wanted to ask him to prom, grr!!” But then I remember Kurt’s canonically in love with him at this point, so I’ll let him off this time

Kurt’s devious little smile when he asks Finn for a favour… I love one (1) boy!

AHHH THE TRYOUT SCENE. INCREDIBLE. This might honestly be my favourite scene from season 1. It’s definitely up there, anyway.

Cute brotherly Furt moments. Finn putting that helmet on for him. “Red’s your colour!” And they DON’T make Kurt get all giggly about Finn just being nice to him? Kurt just telling him he’s really cool? Pure.

“Rehearsing–” “PRACTICING!”

Finn tells Kurt he’ll be murdered if he uses his music and Kurt comes straight back with that rum chocolate souffle line. This show would be NOTHING without Kurt.

And THIS is what I mean when I say Kurt was a Gryffindor from the get-go. Even now he’s refusing to be anything less than himself for anybody, even the jackasses that harass him every day when he’s on their pitch.

Shut the fuuuuuuuck up, Puck!

“Hi, I’m Kurt Hummel and I’ll be auditioning for the role of kicker.” What did we do to deserve him?

His starting pose… His hips… The footwork… “That was good, right?” His whole ATTITUDE. THE ROYAL WAVE.

As if the TV network would cancel Sue’s news segment for having a few Cheerios in the glee club?

Oh god. Quinn telling Finn she’s pregnant. The fucking cinematography here… The camera work, the audio mixing…

“Think of the mail… Think of the MAIL…”

Did Quinn seriously just say “Ask Jeeves” told her the hot tub could knock her up? I mean, I know she’s lying, but ASK JEEVES? That should’ve tipped Finn off more than anything else…

Damn. Season 1 really had the power to get me shook, laughing, and then crying in the span of 30 seconds? Or maybe it’s just because I can’t stand seeing Diana cry…  

Sandy lets his kettle whistle for far too long, it stresses me out

Sue just… Offers this fired man a job? I know she’s got Figgins by the balls over the stockings commercial, but come on, surely the council would get involved or whatever???

Rachel sucks right now but god damn it Taking Chances gives me chills every time I hear her sing it… And she’s so cute when they tell her she got the lead!!!

If musical stuff is so frowned upon socially here, how are they expecting to get a full cast for Cabaret? Especially if NONE of the other glee kids are interested?

And there’s no funding for the arts but they have a whole ballet studio on school property…?

Sign #12 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: He just straight up tells Rachel that he’s the only person that likes her, which is wrong for so many reasons

He does have a point about Rachel needing to take a step back sometimes though. I hate that she’s so awful sometimes that I have to agree with Schuester.

He’s not HURTING you Rachel, he’s giving a chance to grow to somebody else!

Jenna did a beautiful job with this solo… Tina’s so cute too! I love her singing this sweet song with her goth aesthetic

This scene between Mr Schue and Tina was almost sweet BUT:

Sign #13 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: He did NOT need to touch Tina’s shoulders, or get that close, or whisper to comfort her.

Don’t take one for the team, Tina! Take one for YOURSELF!

I’ll let him hugging Finn slide because, wow, Finn’s breaking my heart right now…

However I will not let it slide that he’s seemingly taken him off campus for lunch…???? Dude, take him to your office. This is creepy as all hell even if he has good intentions…

“I got this at the school library. Did you know that you can just… Borrow books from there?” Protect him. Protect him at ALL costs. He was so genuinely inspired by watching Kurt make those goals that he went to a library for the first time in his LIFE oh my goodness

Oh god. The camera panning from a random father and his young son, over to Mr Schue looking at Finn? HE’S NOT YOUR SON MY GUY, HE IS YOUR PUPIL. PROFESSIONAL BOUNDARIES!!!

Terri and Will are both brushing their teeth with no toothpaste… Freaks…

Have I mentioned how much I adore those little background choir soundbites between scenes? They did so much for this show…

SHUT! UP! PUCK! Drink your fucking character development juice already!!!

Kurt just casually dropping in Sun Tzu’s Art of War… He just knows that. He’s prepared to just drop that in conversation. Son, why are you so ready for combat,

Also the way Kurt commands their attention? They can rag on him all they want but they all know he’s legit…

Look at all these doofuses in their football gear busting a move. Look at Kurt sat at the front just watching, judging, as he was born to do

MIKE! KILLING! IT! I love that they let us see a sneak peek of his moves… Serious HC that Kurt making the football team dance is the first time that Mike really got to show off his skills

Kurt shooing Mr Schue away like that gives me life!!! Sit down old man

“All right boys…”  And they all look so concerned behind him lmao… “Oh– SNEAK ATTACK back to the ring…” Mike’s trying so hard to keep in time. I love him. OH and there’s Matt! Most valid glee club member simply because he never says anything.

“Comb through the hair… SLAP THE BUTT!” And they’re all trying so hard… 10/10

“I’m your best friend,” says Puck, to the boy he has been consistently fucking over for four (4) episodes, and presumably many years prior…

I really do hate Puck for the first part of this season but god damn does he have some lines. “’Sup, MILF?” “Well, CALL the Vatican! We got ourselves another ImMaCuLaTe CoNcEpTiOn!”

I remember the first time I heard the term “Lima Loser” but I didn’t know the show was set in a place called Lima (I would’ve been, like, 9) and I thought it was lime-a-loser. Like he was going to have limes thrown at him. And it was this big, serious threat…

How the FUCK did Terri get into Quinn’s car? Why is that never addressed? Like, ever? Quinn doesn’t even ASK?

Do this many people turn up to American high school sports events irl??? And do they really play the national anthem? That must get old

Why are all these football players 30… I’m so thirsty for realistic casting…

BURT’S HERE TO SEE HIS SON!!! We love a proud dad.

“I TOLD YOU! I TOLD YOU!!!” And now he’s doing high kicks. Kurt’s doing the absolute MOST.

I will never understand the rules of American football… And I mean NEVER.

“Ring on it on three” I love that it has a code name. And they were all too busy being dudebros to call it Single Ladies…

The one dude on the opposite team who starts boogying along is the real MVP

NEVERMIND. BURT BOPPING IN THE STANDS IS THE MVP!!!

“Can I pee first?” Legendary

Burt just going “he’s so little…” In the middle of the silent crowd…

MY BOY NEEDS HIS MUSIC!

BURT’S SO FUCKING PROUD I’M ACTUALLY CRYING??? YOU CAN HEAR HIM SHOUTING “THAT IS MY BOY!!! THAT IS MY SON!!!” THROUGH THE WHOLE CROWD!!!!

I feel like Puck seeing Finn and Quinn kiss and then the crowd going silent as he walks away is meant to make me feel… Bad for him…? But we’ve only ever seen him be mean to Quinn, really. You’ve got to earn those moments!

Ah… The skincare routine. He’s thriving.

Burt! Hummel! Is! Proud! Of! His! Son!

Burt… I’m pretty sure he assumed you wished his mother was alive. As opposed to her corpse being at the big game.

Oh boy here it comes…… Chris looks SO young here. So scared. So vulnerable. The way he slightly stutters… He nailed this scene. So much.

He’s gay!

He knows.

Do they make sensible heels in sizes for three year olds…? Asking for a dad

The raw EMOTION on Kurt’s face. It’s killing me.

This is the starting point… “I’m not in love with the idea, but I love you.” And it only gets better from there…

And he THANKS his SON. He’s sure. He’s so sure, Burt, and you are going to be so proud of him forever.

Finn gives Quinn that blanket his dad gave him when he was a baby… Did she give it back? I fucking hope so…

You tell him, Finn! Puck IS an asshole!

MIKE’S IN GLEE!!! SO IS MATT!!! And Puck’s here I guess, yay… He’s got a season or so of sucking to go before I can get excited about that.

“Regionals” here we come? My guy, let’s get through sectionals first…

Rachel’s big, cruel smile when she thinks she’s going to be handed Tina’s solo. Why would she presume that it’d just get handed to her??? I mean, I know why, but like, why… And she has the audacity to look like she’s been betrayed. Not even slightly, hon! You deserve nothing if not getting one solo is all it takes for you to quit!

This Sue’s corner genuinely gets me through some shit. “There’s not much of a difference between a stadium full of cheering fans and an angry crowd screaming abuse at you - they’re both just making a lot of noise. How you take it is up to you. Convince yourself they’re cheering for you. You do that, and someday, they will.” Hits me hard!

This one was longer. Primarily because of Burt, I will admit, but it can’t be helped. Perhaps it’s the best episode of season 1 because of Burt! Now that’s a break through…

#Glee #Glee Season 1 #Rosie watches things and then says things about the thing

[linos-teeth]

i got tagged for the fanfic tag by @incorrectkids-admin and yall might not know this but i love fanfic so much (in general, there are only few fanfics in particular that truly impress me so if yall want like some fancy restaurant style reviews hmu) so tysm for this!!! i‘m going to tag @chngbok and @lilac-stay and @frozensea394 and @odeshadowz (i THINK u all read and/or write fanfic sometimes if not then i’m sorry ofc u don’t have to do this tag) (generally u don’t this is optional)

slow burn or love at first sight: i will read love at first sight when i’m starved for some good romance but there is a limit of cheese and it’s right there GIMME THAT SLOWEST BURN MAKE IT 20K WORDS GIMME

fake dating or secret dating: tbh this trope is kinda overused but if done well??? it can be so good? tho i think you could also do smth nice with secret dating, it has yet to impress me tho

enemies to lovers or best friends to lovers: both are so good!!! love and can relate that good oh no that’s my Friend...but i wanna kiss...but also. enemies to lovers...u can do so much with these dynamics...i’ve written some of it myself back in the days and it’s so much fun to do (and read)

oh no there’s only one bed or long distance with correspondence: it’s cliché but i do not care (that and also long distance might be a mood but as a physical presence person i need those sweet irl interactions!!)

fantasy or modern au: i don’t read enough fantasy aus ngl....they are so close to my heart bc i myself am very much a fantasy game nerd but also like....modern? why tf not? so many options there and i mean urban fantasy? also sure thing i love them all

smut or fluff: NO SMUT IN THIS HOUSE PLS MY EYES ok let them partially undress and make out a bit whatever but pls no smut unless it’s like one artsy poetic sentence but keep the dick talk away from me

mutual pining or domestic bliss: lovelovelove domestic bliss but.......the pining......the tension.....it stabs me physically and i love it so very much

alternate universe or future fic: listen everything is an au bc nothing actually happened this exact way irl (even if assuming we’re talking abt like. celebrities here u add CANON FIC and wish it had happened it just did not and that’s valid aus are very good)

one shot or multi chapter: will read both but will die if multi chapter stays unfinished my poor heart

kid fic or road trip fic: I FUCKING LOVE ROAD TRIP FICS SO MUCH??? I’VE READ SO MANY GOOD ONES *opens purse like they’re photos of my grandchildren* LET ME SHOW U SOME ROAD TRIP FICS

reincarnation or character death: i‘m not big on reincarnation honestly like i guess it’s like romantic and all to find each other in a different life but......it doesn’t speak to me? and character death is just. a big fucking no. you’re writing about real people: what the fuck makes u think u can kill them off?? like?? they’re alive and breathing they aren’t a doll to use to break some reader’s hearts wtf (btw either way i think if u write mcd just to make ppl sad then you aren’t valid) and if it’s not a real person i still. don’t get the hype there are other plot devices

arranged marriage or accidental marriage: ok arranged marriage is fine if it’s like.....an almost marriage and u still end up with who the two of you ACTUALLY love but accidental marriage sounds so fun i’ve never read it but it has a crack vibe to it pls someone write some i wanna read

high school romance or middle age romance: it’s romance gimme

time travel or isolated together: idk time travel sounds fun but it’s usually heartbreaking so i’m like maybe nooot and isolated together doesn’t spark any particular emotion in me so

neighbors or roommates: good stuff!!! gimme i love awk neighbor shit but i also love even more awk roommate shit like yes AWKWARDNESS PLS

sci-fi or magic au: why would i even try to choose? MAGIC IS AWESOME ALIENS AND SPACESHIPS AND SHIT ARE AWESOME

body swap or genderbend: body swap is prooooobably fun i haven’t read any but genderbent, esp when it’s real people, just makes me really uncomfortable oR HONESTLY THE CREEPIEST PART U GENDERBEND HALF OF A SHIP TO MAKE THEM LIKE. I SAW IT HAPPEN WITH GAY TO HET BUT LIKE THE OTHER WAY ROUND IS JUST AS WEIRD PPL STOP JUST WRITE DIFFERENT PPL

angst or crack: i am weak but crack is honestly a form of art and i will take it

apocalyptic or mundane: zombie shit rly freaks me out tho i HAVE read one amazing apocalyptic fic i will still generally say i prefer mundane ones

#thank u again!!!! #im kinda passionate abt things that should or should not be in fanfic when inspired by real ppl so #if that angers u pls dont read #that sounds like im terrible wow but!!! it think theres some reason in my thoughts #anyway #tag things

[almaasi]

reaction post typed while watching SPN 14x20 “Moriah”

I CAN’T BELIEVE THERE WAS A TRUTH SPELL AND DEAN AND CAS DIDN’T GET TO TALK >:0

04:55pm

i just want this to end happily

i doubt it will but that’s all i ever want

specifically i want dean and cas to make up before the season ends

-

04:5

SOMEHOW I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT CARRY ON WAYWARD SON

 THE FEELS GOT ME WITHOUT WARNING

-

05:04

sam in the middle of their sexual tension again

EXCEPT THIS TIME IT’S NOT FUNNY AT ALL :C

-

05:05

there’s literally bits of the room of fire. they should probably put that put before everything burns

-

05:07

jack overhears “it’s not you, it’s me” between (presumably) a gay couple

i think he’s walking around listening to people lying

-

05:08

i wrote a fic once where kid!cas is infuriated by people lying all the time

guess jack ain’t so different

-

05:09

i love the puff of a bus braking(?) as it drives past

such a beautiful summer mood

like trains honking in the distance

also finding the disparity in the weather from this ep and the last few very amusing, it kind of seems like it was snowing a few days ago and now it’s early summer

-

05:11

dean: “nerds”

sam: “takes one to know one”

YEP

-

did i expect sam to take dean and GO OFF about how geeky dean is

NOPE

HELL FUCKING YEAH TELL HIM HOW MUCH OF A HYPOCRITE HE IS AND MAKE IT OBVIOUS WHAT HE SAYS =/= WHAT HE WANTS

such a tonal shift but i’m 100% into it

-

05:14

dean: “aw i got this”

camera follows dean as he walks up to a desk, smirking flirtatiously, but we don’t see the person he’s about to flirt with

WHY DO I FEEL LIKE HE’S ABOUT TO FLIRT WITH A DUDE

I SWEAR IF HE’S NOT ABOUT TO FLIRT WITH A DUDE--

okay never mind it’s a lady

now waiting for the scene where he does he exact same thing with a dude

edit: never mind i misread the intention of the lead-up. it was about the fact he can’t lie when he gets there, not the person he was talking to

-

dean: “this badge is fake”

OH MY GOD HE CAN’T LIE

OH MY GOD

OH MY GOD THIS IS FANFIC

PUT DEAN AND CAS IN A ROOM TOGETHER, STAT

i’m so freaking excited for the rest of this

-

05:19

celene dion

yeah i 100% see that for sam

BUT THE FACT DEAN KNOWS THAT IT’S NOT ELVIS BUT NEVER PRESSURED HIM TO TELL THE TRUTH BEFORE

WOW

-

05:21

laughing so hard at the political stuff on the tv

“deep ties to russia” i guess that one’s still canon in irl, even without direct collusion

-

05:22

guy on tv: “i love you, i’ve always loved you”

cut to dean

okay i need to unpack this

> apparently people are not only truthing instead of lying, but are also compelled to say truths in inappropriate circumstances

> dean’s like oh shit what if i tell cas

> CUT TO DEAN AND NOT SAM BECAUSE DEAN’S THE ONE IN LOVE

> he looks kinda into it tbh

i swear to god i want nothing more than for this episode to have dean express his love to cas ;~; please

-

05:25

“I AM THE STAPLE QUEEN”

I LOVE HER

YOU LIVE YOUR WEIRD TRUTH, LADY

-

05:27

Oh boy

i’m loving the tone of this. like everything is terrible but in a fun way

i’m just worried it’s all gonna get awful later :/

-

05:31

also cas is gorgeous

-

05:43

@ dean complaining about no gluten

does he even know that gluten has no taste, it’s just a protein that makes things stick together

it’s bread glue

-

BUT THE FACT DEAN FOLLOWS SOMEONE NAMED “8PACKMOMMY”

CHILDREN AND FOOD??????? DAMN

and apparently he doesn’t even like the blog

and yet he still follows? why??? some kind of personal obligation to enjoy children and food, and maybe women with muscles????? wat

-

05:38

THE POOR GUITAR

but also smashing one was probably on dean’s bucket list

-

05:40

radio: “the queen of england, is in fact, a lizard”

@ misha what do you have to say about that

-

05:41

AW MAN CHUCK FIXED IT BEFORE DEAN AND CAS HAD A CHANCE TO TALK :C

ULTIMATE DISAPPOINTMENT

-

05:45

um

can’t they just use the magic gun and be like “pchew~! you’re happy and only kill evil things!” and suddenly they’re both that, and then there’s no problem

-

05:46

chuck: “the old death was all about fried pickles and tickle porn”

TICKLE PORN

10/10

-

05:51

again, cas showing intense emotion is my favourite

kind of expected him to dent the car

-

05:52

isn’t that the worst knife ever? makes people die a lot

-

05:54

i swear to heck everything sam’s describing about god’s method of making universes is my cupcake theory + what i wrote in chapter 21 of hart of the storm

i guess those kind of theological ideas are a fun writer thing maybe

-

06:05

i don’t think dean’s gonna kill him

but that doesn’t stop me worrying

if he doesn’t, it’s lowkey because of cas

-

06:07

why did cas take so long to get back there

-

oh no chuck wants dean to shoot him

 if chuck shoots jack himself.... the universe collapses, right?

-

sam getting mad at the writer

this is so meta and i am LIVING for it

-

which also means he’s keeping the destiel drawn out because he enjoys the will-they-won’t-they

@ chuck we get it!! now please stop, drop, and make it gay

-

IS DEAN GONNA SHOOT GOD

and did chuck just bargain jack for mary

whatshfdgbdf

-

dean: “my mom’s my hero”

i love hearing him say that

-

06:14

*sam voice* it was day.......... and now it’s night

-

06:15

aw jack.............

:<

-

06:17

THE GHOSTS RISING

THIS IS AWESOME

THE MUSIC IS AWESOME

AWESOME

-

06:17

WAIT......... did this undo everything they’ve ever done??????

-

06:19

dean grab a rusty fence for a weapon

really fuckin hope they’ve had their tetanus shots

-

I’M SO GODDAMN GLAD CAS IS THERE WITH THEM

NOT GONNA GET LEFT OUT THIS TIME, NOPE

-

THE LYRICS “god was never on your side”

hooooooooooly hot damn potato stew

that was fucking awesome and i loved it

like......... yeah, maybe my favourite season finale ?? (edit: since season 8 when the angels fell)

billie’s talking with jack so clearly he’s not gone forever

there was Representation!!! of various kinds of people and i really enjoyed that

I WISH THE TRUTH SPELL THING HAD KEPT GOING UNTIL DEAN TALKED TO CAS. I’M SO BUMMED ABOUT THAT. THEY HAVEN’T TALKED AT ALL, PRETTY MUCH ALL SEASON, THEY JUST YELLED AT EACH OTHER

SEASON 15 BETTER FUCKIN GIVE THEM SCENES TOGETHER EVERY DAMN EPISODE AND LET THEM BE FRIENDS AND TALK ABOUT THEIR PERSONAL FEELINGS AND CONFESS THEIR LOVE, AND ALSO SMOOCH

PLEASE. that’s all i want. that’s all i’ve ever wanted. just be buddies. cuddle buddies maybe.

i really enjoyed seeing this side of chuck, making it more obvious he’s just in it for himself

but like. i sound like an asshole but i feel the need to say “not all writers”

soME OF US ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT OUR CHARACTERS AND WANT NICE THINGS TO HAPPEN TO THEM

i also found it amusing that, given a gun that doesn’t have bullets, but can shoot whatever you want (i think?), sam chooses to use bullets

SAM STARTED THIS

AGAIN

i liked that chuck was the deus ex machina a few seasons ago but suddenly this time he’s the big bad nobody expected

look i mean. this was 10/10. but i cannot stress enough hoW MUCH OF A COP-OUT IT WAS TO CANCEL THE TRUTH THING BEFORE DEAN AND CAS TALKED. I WANNA SCREAM ABOUT THIS

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

also wait. if chuck undid all their work, does that mean they undid all their friendships and relationships? does jody still know them? is donna still alive? oh no :c

actually wait, no, it seems like... rather than reset everything back 15 years, chuck just brought everything they killed back to life

but also apparently every single grave contains a zombie

I’M LOOKING FORWARD TO WHERE THIS GOES

SO LONG AS WHERE THIS GOES IS DEAN AND CAS HAVING AMPLE EPISODES TOGETHER WITH HEAPS OF EMOTIONAL INTIMACY, AND THE WAYWARD SISTERS EITHER GETTING THEIR SPIN-OFF OR HAVING THEIR STORY TOLD IN PARALLEL TO TEAM FREE WILL’S

no point asking chuck for it, huh

@ AMARA PLEASE GIVE US THIS

apparently she’s gambling in reno so maybe they can track her down

#Elmie watches things #14x20 #moriah #season 14 #spn spoilers #post of postiness

[bravest-notts]

(suicidal thoughts mention tw but don't worry, it's in the past and ok now) re: your tags on the mm reblog about having immense irl grief- i completely agree with you. obvi everyone experiences things differently and a stubbed toe still hurts when there's starving kids in africa, etc, but i've had irl grief that plunged me into depression for years and led to two near-suicides. and then i see people justifying doing irrational, ridiculous shit or attacking the cast or attacking the fandom (1/2)

with the justification of “it’s all bc i’m grieving for mm, grief is irrational and makes you do things, this is what grief is like!” and a) i did some awful, unhealthy shit when i was in that intense grieving period and it was not & should not have been a get-out-of-jail-free-card and b) i don’t know how to say this w/o sounding like a bitch but it’s not the same thing? he exists just as much now as he did then, still fictional but in fanfic instead of canon. he’s not gone like an irl person is

(grief anon cont because apparently i’m not done with this rant) like obviously i was going through something awful & it was difficult to function like a human being but there was also a point where i had to look at myself and go “ok, this isn’t healthy, i need to figure out a way through this or else i’m gonna be very unhappy & keep treating myself/others worse than they deserve” and i think that part of grieving is important too. not forgetting mm but maybe finding healthier coping mechanisms?

—

boy we’ve apparently had extremely similar life circumstances because reading this was akin to someone quoting the past eight years back at me. 

*solidarity hug*

putting this under the cut for grief talk, suicide mention, and other Grim Stuff.

for about four years after my mom died, i was a massive mess to the point of existing at the breaking point for nearly the entire time. three suicide attempts, two hospitalizations, and looking back i am amazed that i actually survived the bouts of starvation and lack of care i put myself through when i was in full breakdown mode. it was… really, really bad. dangerously bad. it was also a massive example of how not to cope with grief. 

obviously That Group of mm people are - i hope - not at the depths we’ve been to but yeah, unhealthy handling of loss can manifest in different ways and obsession is absolutely one of them. especially when the dead wasn’t a family member or a friend or someone close to you – strangers, celebrities, they get obsessed over in death. 

and god yeah like. i’ve said this so many times i feel like a broken record but people really, really need to examine how they interact with both media and the fandom because yes, a fictional character’s death can and should cause emotions. it absolutely can be tragic and bittersweet and all those things. but… like, look at vax. no one - at least no one i’ve seen - is inserting him into, say, the search for grog/bob and discussing how vm’s choices in those games are due 100% to his attitude in life. vax’s death is engaged with in a more healthy way, treated as the tragic and sad and still incredible end to a beloved character that molly’s also should be. 

they’re also not dead. because they never existed in the first place. fictional characters can have large and meaningful impacts on people’s lives and hearts, but in the end… they were never truly real. i would never wish the life-consuming scale of loss i’ve experienced on anyone, ever. i lost half a decade to guilt and grief and absolutely consuming depression, i’ve been in so much emotional agony that i would pray that i’d die in my sleep so that i wouldn’t wake up feeling it in the morning, i cried so hard i threw up every day for weeks. a fictional character’s death… there’s no way to say this without sounding like an insensitive twat, but they’re nowhere near comparable. and if they are, if someone out there is experiencing intense and chronic grief like that over a fake person… seriously go get help, because no one deserves to live in that state.

also!! i’m proud of you for clawing your way out of that deep grief state! i know intimately how incredibly difficult that is and i’m glad that it’s in the past now.

#suicide cw #critical discourse #asks #anon #before anyone asks i am also fine!! #up until two years ago tho i was... not klsjdflds #been a fuckin ride

[hxh-or-die]

ok so if for some reason some of yall havent seen it yet, a bitch got called out, like it was pages long, and while a lot of it was super exaggerated, sometimes even downright incorrect, i can admit when i’ve slipped up so imma make 1 post and 1 post only about this situation because lets face it i was practically asking for a callout post even if i didnt think i was

(sorry if this sounds salty but i’ve had it up to here with these people and their bullshit)

im sorry for calling the admin aphobic when they are in fact, ace. in the past i’ve seen “no ace discourse” on blogs used as another way of saying “i think ace people are fake but i dont want hate” but i see now (and can fully understand) why it would also mean “im fucking sick and tired of hearing about this so dont ask me about it”. were other ppl in the server saying some shit that was pretty aphobic? yeah. but calling the admin aphobic was a misunderstanding on my part that i blew way out of proportion and im sorry for it.

i literally say in this blog’s about that i never once took a screenshot of yall’s venting or selfies, or art, or anything that either had to do with personal info or yall having a good time. i personally didnt think yall saying u used to not be antis constituded as venting and if it does im sorry, but know that im not here to make fun of ur traumas. i’ve been through some rlly tough shit that i prefer not to talk about like, ever, and i know how hard it is to go through on a daily basis.

im sorry for mistaking your reporting people for whitewashing characters for complaints about aged up killugon. yall were talking about these things one on top of the other and i misread the chat. whitewashing is a serious issue and im not about that shit.

for people who claim im taking things out of context yall sure seem to do that urselves, claiming that i think ppl who make money off of child porn arent pedophiles when we both know very well that was about haikyuu artists who draw nsfw. please dont put words in my mouth

im sorry that my not yelling at ppl for calling themselves “enby” is considered a cis person talking about subjects she doesnt know about but i’d rather not put my foot in my mouth and tell nonbinary ppl that they cant use certain terminology for themselves

killua having implied romantic feelings does not automatically mean he’s gay coded. first of all, that shit is meta, nothing more, nothing less, and him arguing with 2 of the 5 recurring female characters doesnt make him automatically gay. its totally cool to headcanon killua as gay, i do myself, but calling him bi aint homophobic when its not even canon.

listen, admittedly i havent read autumn’s au, my adhd allows me to sit down and read a fic maybe once in a blue moon and only if im really pumped for the fic in question. should i do more research on shit and listen more to trans folk and people of color? yes, absolutely. and im sorry my opinions of yall clouded basic things like that. im not entirely informed but i do know for a fact that autumn’s fiance is non binary and she has been asking for their input, i cant say much more than that for obvious reasons but i think its important to know.

for the last time me liking a character or liking their appearance doesnt mean i condone their behavior its not that hard to understand. these are fictional characters harming no real people. illumi is an absolute piece of shit and an awful awful human being and i can’t wait to see him perish, and me liking his design doesnt suddenly make me okay with any of the shit he’s done or think its okay to do irl.

you wanna know why i liked that post of yours so recently? because i was checking my blog for messages bcos yannow, sometimes ppl dm this blog and that gifset of rowlet showed up as a recommended post and since all of yall change ur blog themes and urls every other week u can understand why i didnt automatically realize it was one of yall. u can bet i’ll never make that mistake tho bcos wow you ur almost as bad as i am about jumping to conclusions. like theres a reason i didnt follow yall unless u followed me first and its not because i secretly loved ur blogs or smthn

im never touching this blog again. im putting this all behind me and im never touching fandom discourse again. if u need me ill be scrolling through my dashboard of things i enjoy seeing and editing hunter x hunter away from yall with my multifandom friends who dont even know what a fucking killugon is thank you and goodbye.

#not 2 be an emo again but #thanks for the memories even tho they werent so great

[ugly-anastasia]

Wednesday, November 10 -- Deux Moi: Write a headcanon for 10 different celebrities in the BDRP world. These can be IRL celebrities or people you came up with. Don’t worry about matching to others, as this is just for fun and doesn’t necessarily need to be canon. 

EMMA’S MAGICK CELEBRITY HOT TAKES (warning: spicy hot takes!!!)

1. The Kardashians Are Mermaids

It all makes sense! Big family, names all start with the same letter (matriarchal influence on naming), they all have incredible shiny hair and do you remember that time Kim lost her earring in the water (#KimTheresPeopleThatAreDying) and then FOUND IT AGAIN!!! I mean come on!! Mundus don’t know about this but merpeople do and there have been rumors circulated before but no concrete evidence has come out so it’s all speculation. Most Mundus agree that they are definitely not entirely Mundus though. Btw here are their tail colors I’m just doing the kids bc I have limited knowledge I’m working with here

Kourtney: green tail Kim: red tail Khloe: blue tail Rob Jr: purple tail Kendall: blue tail Kylie: yellow tail

2. Grimes Is A Changeling

I know what you’re thinking. “Emma, isn’t Grimes a faery?!?!?” NO. She was taken to Elfhame at a young age and grew up in the court (that’s how she got her start in music and why her music sounds so otherworldly) and she just escaped back to our realm, but she is CLAIMING TO BE FAE when SHE IS NOT. Her whole brand is about being high fae when she literally isn’t, she modified her ears to be pointy and real fae know she is faking (and are also literally trying to get her back to Elfhame but thank god she is rich now and has good security). On one hand I know it’s super problematic that she’s pretending to be a faery but on the other hand it’s like well if the fae kidnapped you,,, who am I to judge???

3. Gwyneth Paltrow Is A Vampire

Considering Gwyneth Paltrow continues to sell the kind of crazy pseudoscience that people have been selling to each other for hundreds of years it makes perfect sense that Gwyneth Paltrow too has also been doing this for hundreds of years. GOOP is just the modern rebranding of hundreds of years of being a good old fashioned charlatan. And her secret is that she doesn’t age!! She says all her GOOP wellness stuff is what helps her look the way she does but it’s actually the fact that she literally doesn’t age. And yeah she absolutely sucked Chris Martin’s blood.

4. Hozier Is A Medium

I know people are gonna disagree with me, because Hozier does totally have fae vibes, but hear me out. Hozier Is A Medium! What do you do when you have all of those voices in your head of restless souls desperate to tell their stories? Why, you write hauntingly beautiful songs about them to give them voice. A lot of ghosts have been put to rest through the power of having their stories told through Hozier’s music and I just think that is a beautiful idea.

5. Tyler Cameron Is An Incubus

I apologize for the niche Bachelor lore here but this man has such a chokehold on America and I need to talk about it. He didn’t even WIN his season, he hasn’t even been CONSIDERED for the role of the Bachelor, and yet he is the most followed and most obsessed-over man in Bachelor nation. He has like 200 million followers on Instagram, his intro on the season that he was on is that he is a construction worker who also likes to dance but also we have never gotten any evidence that he really works in construction and he seems to mostly be doing the modeling/nonprofit thing full time at this point. Through the sheer power of Being Tyler Cameron he got his friend Matt James (the first ever non-previous-contestant since like 2003) to be the Bachelor and literally everyone loves him so much. He also talked a lot on his season about how on the night of fantasy suites he and Hannah B. had a long nice chat and then went to bed which is like... yeah, you didn’t want to eat her soul!!! That would be bad for ratings!!!

6. JoJo Siwa Is In The RAS

I know what you’re thinking. JoJo Siwa is so famous and high profile, how could she ever keep it a secret that she is a highly-trained secret agent helping to take down anti-Magick forces around the world??? Well the fact of the matter is that the dancing is all a cover for her amazing hand-to-hand combat skills and it’s all a distraction for how she’s secretly taking down anti-Magicks in the entertainment industry. Abby Lee Miller was her first target. Bruno on Dancing With the Stars will be her next target. And after that... who knows???

7. Caroline Calloway Is A High Fae (Unseelie)

Remember how I said Grimes was lowkey a fake elf? Caroline Calloway is the REAL DEAL she came here from Elfhame to fuck with all of us. She isn’t even a real scammer because her “workshops” weren’t even aimed to make money she just literally wanted to have that much power over all those little humans and she got what she wanted! Literally this is all a game to her. Also the orchid flower crowns are 100% a fae thing lol. All she wants is a platform because Elfhame bored her so now she’s in our realm to wreak havoc.

8. Jack Antonoff Is a Wizard

He is literally a sorcerer yes. The sheer volume of work Jack Antonoff has put out in the past five years points to him having some kind of control over time and space and I also think he has some kind of music specialty, as everything he works on is very layered and High Concept and he loves pulling in like weird little elements (voice memos, sound effects, etc) which just gives me sorcerer-gathering-reagents vibes. His songs are like little potions. Maybe he uses potions to produce them. It’s why everything he works on has such a Jack Anontoff flair to it. 

9. Joni Mitchell Is A Werewolf

I don’t really have a lot of evidence for this one, I just like the image of Joni going for a little wolf run under the moon and coming home and writing a bunch of songs about it. A lot of her music is really nature-focused and I think werewolves have to get really in tune with nature to get comfortable in their wolf form. 

10. Guy Fieri is a Fairy 

Yes, you heard me right. Guy Fieri is a Fairy. Fieri --> Fairy.... GET IT. Anyway. Guy Fieri is a cooking-talent and he never fit in in his Hollow, he always had bigger dreams and wanted to see the whole country so he left one day and never really returned. He just thinks Mundus culture is really fascinating and he’s constantly amazed and delighted by it and that’s why he’s so enthusiastic everywhere he goes. It’s not something he talks about all that much but it’s also not really a secret. The real secret ingredient in his Donkey Sauce? Pixie Dust. Boom.

#bdrpwrimo #bdrpwrimoemma #bdrpwrimo2021 #this is lowkey unhinged enjoy