Dancing with our hands tied | S.H.
Chapter ten ⭐︎ Weigh down on me, stay 'til morning
Warnings: slight angst, jealousy, lots of jealousy (from both sides), insecurities, mentions of unrequited love, alcohol and weed consumption
Pairing: Steve Harrington x fem!reader
Summary: You agreed to Steve's deal, and now all that you do, is wait by the phone... for his call.
Word count: 10k+
Author's note: Things are getting a little more serious now, you can expect a lot of jealousy in this chapter, and in the next two. @hellfire--cult and I came up with some gooood ideas, so enjoy hehe
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Your body feels warm, aching in some places, but it’s not an unpleasant feeling, you welcome it, knowing what or who caused it. You smell his shampoo, his body wash on the pillow your head lies on, you smell his cologne, the one that always makes your heart flutter.
When you slowly open your eyes, you’re not surprised to find him facing away from you, you're met by his sun kissed back.
You blink, still waking up.
You eye the moles on his skin, the scars on his back from where the bats had dragged him away. You wish to touch them, to trace them with your fingertips, to kiss his skin and bless him with better memories, but you can’t. And it’s not like memories of you and your touches would bless him, in any way.
The thing between you, his feelings, his actions are purely driven by lust, nothing more, nothing less. You won’t raise your hopes up, this is bad enough as it is.
What would your teen self think if she saw you now?
What would she say to you if she saw you lying in Steve Harrington’s bed?
The version of you now, is happy, content with what she has, even if she doesn’t actually have him.
But what matters now? Nothing. Just him, just you and him. That’s all that matters now, that’s all that will matter, for now.
Your mind wants to take you back to all those dark places you have been in, to all the feelings you have experienced since Steve had taken a hold of your heart. – Jealousy, rejection, heartache and pain.
And his words from the night before come back to haunt you.
“I see whoever I want and you do… the same.”
You can’t lie to yourself, it did sting a little, it did make your stomach churn, it did make you feel sick to think of him with someone else after being with you, while being with you.
It also hurt to wake up without him, it hurt all day to think that all he did was use you, that he took what he wanted and left. – You never expected the explanation he gave you last night, you also didn’t expect the softness of his hands, the gentle touches and kisses as he told you what really happened. Your chest still aches with guilt for treating him the way you did last night, but you were driven by sadness and you can’t help but feel that he did deserve it… a little.
With a sigh, you turn away from him, pushing the shared blanket off your body, you place your feet on the ground and take a look around his room.
You grip the sheets beneath you, looking at all the items in his room before you look over your shoulder, back at him, back at the pillow you just slept on.
How many girls have occupied this space before?
How many girls has he touched the way he touched you?
How many girls have been kissed by him the same way you’ve been?
You had never kissed anyone the way you kissed him.
You also never touched anyone the same way you touched him.
He is so special to you, but you aren’t to him.
And you never will be.
You grow annoyed with yourself, shouldn’t you be happy? Shouldn’t you be in complete and utter bliss, knowing that he wants you enough to do this?
You close your eyes, and you take a deep breath before you push yourself off the bed.
You shut out your negative thoughts, letting your curiosity in. You tiptoe across his room and stop in front of his bookshelf – that’s filled with more comics and movies than books. A polaroid camera sitting on the shelf, next to a fake plant. Of course, he got himself a fake plant.
The dresser next to the window is decorated with a big lamp and a few pictures that spark your interest. You sneak a glance at him to find him still sound asleep.
You’re not surprised to find pictures of your friends on his dresser, of the teens, of Eddie and Robin, of the whole group. None of you, not even on the group pictures that Jonathan keeps taking whenever you all hang out – that might be your own fault though, you never felt comfortable enough to join the group pictures, you still don’t consider yourself a part of it, even now.
But you can’t help but wonder, would he have cut out the parts of you if you had been on those pictures?
You close your eyes again, taking a deep breath as you’re willing yourself to calm down, to stop overthinking, to stop being so negative when what you got is now finally in reach.
You get to be with him, you get to touch him, you get to feel his lips on your skin, his hands on your body, him. And even when there isn’t any intimacy, even when there aren’t any feelings on his side, you can just pretend, for those little moments, you can pretend.
You open your eyes again, and look around for your clothes that Steve took from your hands last night after you changed into one of his shirts. You find them neatly folded on the chair by his desk, your denim jacket thrown over the back.
It’s time to go home, even when you’d like to stay longer.
You make your way over to your clothes, you stand with your back to him as you take his shirt off, standing in his room in nothing but your panties for a moment. You fold his shirt and place it on his desk, already missing the smell of it and the way it felt to wear something of his.
You don’t even feel his eyes on you as you start putting your clothes on, starting with your bra before you reach for your skirt, you bend down as you put it on, zipping it shut on the side.
Steve is now lying on his back, his right arm behind his head as he watches you, feeling a little disappointed that you are getting dressed and ready to go home.
He watches, and stares at you for as long as he can before you notice him.
He takes in every little scar on your soft skin, the way your hair falls down your shoulders, the way your skin is glowing beneath the stream of light that shines through the curtains.
The moment your top is on and you bend down to put your shoes on, Steve clears his throat.
“Leaving so soon?” Steve’s groggy voice sounds through the silent room.
You freeze at the sound of his voice, the rough noise causing shivers to run down your spine.
Who would’ve thought that you’d ever get to hear Steve Harrington’s morning voice?
You close your eyes as you knit your eyebrows together. You shouldn’t have waited so long to leave. Taking a deep breath, you open your eyes again, and straighten your back as you finish tying the laces of your converse. You plaster a smile on your face before you turn around to face him.
“Figured our little deal doesn’t include coffee and breakfast,” you joke, reaching for your jacket.
Steve’s eyes move up and down your body, before they settle on your neck where the marks on your skin are perfectly visible to him. You hate the way your heart flutters at such a small action of his.
“Says who?”
You try not to stare at him, but it’s hard not to when he looks this good. A tired look in his features, hair all messy, hairy chest on full display. You dig your nails into your denim jacket as your eyes move to his neck, the scar around it always dragging you into a trance like state, as you catch yourself daydreaming about peppering his skin with kisses.
“I dunno,” you shrug, tearing your eyes away from his body and meeting his eyes instead, “I think that’s girlfriend privilege.”
He cracks a smile at your words, eyes flashing with amusement, “didn’t know Eddie was my girlfriend.”
A laugh falls from your lips as you roll your eyes and shake your head.
Eddie stayed over at his place countless of times, ever since those two have gotten closer, ‘sleepovers’ have become a regular thing, especially after a long night of smoking weed and drinking beers in Steve’s backyard. Usually, Eddie just passes out on the couch though, and Steve ends up throwing a random blanket over him.
Just like at your house, Eddie raids Steve’s fridge and snack drawers, all the damn time.
“Well, your girlfriend might be upset if he finds out that you fucked his best friend, last night,” you joke only to grow flustered a few seconds after those words leave your lips.
But, Steve smirks at you, smugness flickering in his eyes.
“Huh,” he pushes himself up on his elbows, running his fingers through his hair, “guess it’s gonna be our dirty little secret then,” he winks.
Dirty little secret.
Yeah, that’s all it will ever be.
That’s all you will ever be.
A dirty little secret.
You gulp, swallowing down the hurt as you nod at his words.
“Yeah…” You scratch the back of your neck before you point to his door, “I’m uh… I’m gonna go.”
His smile falls a little, eyes growing serious as he sits up, the blanket now only covering his lower half.
“I can drive you home.”
“No, it’s fine. It’s nice out, I’m just gonna take a walk, maybe stop by the coffee shop or something.”
He nods, still eying you, “a-and are you feeling okay?”
You raise your brows at him, “hmm?”
“I-I mean,” he stutters, awkwardly looking around the room before his eyes meet yours again, “it’s just… the information leaflet said that it can cause some side effects, the Plan B thing… I mean. Nausea, dizziness, upset stomach,” he starts listing the things, counting them down with his fingers as his cheeks flush red.
Your eyes soften, heart fluttering at his concern. You’re even a little taken aback by how much he cares but then again, it might just be the guilt he feels, knowing that he’s partly at fault for this in the first place.
“N-No, I’m okay,” you assure him, watching the way the tension in his shoulders disappears. “I’m feeling fine so far.”
He nods, “okay, good.”
“Yeah, so… I uh…” You trail off, lifting your hand to point at the door again, watching him nod again. You turn on your heel and walk away, not knowing when you will see him again.
You settled on this thing between you, you set up the rules, but what you didn’t talk about was how this whole thing will actually play out.
Just as you open the door, his voice makes you halt in your tracks, you turn your head to look back at him, giving him a questioning look.
“Hey Blondie?”
“Yeah?”
“Are we gonna… hang out later?”
Hang out.
You almost want to giggle.
You tap your nails against the door, eying the smug, yet flustered look on his face as he looks at you expectedly.
“Yeah,” you nod. “You can call me.”
He tilts his head to the side, licking his lips, “mhm, or you can call me,” he smirks, almost mockingly.
“Sure.”
Neither of you called.
In fact, there is nothing but radio silence between the two of you, the moment you leave his house.
And, it frustrates you to no end, because all you want to do is to see him, to feel him again, but all you get is absolutely nothing. And, it only makes you more insecure, it only fills you with more self doubt.
If he wanted you, he would’ve called.
Right?
You thought he’d call by Monday night, he didn’t.
You spent all Tuesday, waiting for the phone to ring, but it never did.
You could’ve called too, he even told you to, but for some reason, you thought that it was just another way to tease you, you heard the mocking tone in his voice, you saw the smirk he looked at you with.
And yet, you picked up the phone a few times with the intention to just call him and ask him to come over but you slammed the receiver back into place every single time. It didn’t feel right to make the first move, every time you tried to, rejection followed. And even though he was the one who offered you the deal, you still couldn’t bring yourself to make a first move, no matter what had already happened between you both.
It’s only Wednesday now, it’s only been two days since you had last seen him, and yet it feels like you haven’t seen him in weeks.
It makes you frustrated and sad at the same time, but unlike yesterday, you can’t mop around in your bedroom all day, waiting by the phone like some lovesick teenager.
And you can’t show your sadness either, you can’t let your best friend know what kind of war you’re fighting in your head.
Steve is your secret and you are his.
His dirty little secret.
“Aren’t you hungry?” Eddie asks as he’s scarving down the burgers and fries he brought from the diner, his new friend works at. He’s been spending a lot of time there, lately.
You push around the fries on your plate, the cheeseburger only halfway eaten.
“I’m just a slow eater,” you shrug, dipping a fry into the ketchup before you take a bite.
Eddie’s brown eyes flash with amusement, “mhm, except for when you’re high.”
“That’s another version of me, Eds.”
“Uh huh,” he chuckles, taking another bite of his burger, the bite being large enough to make half of it disappear.
You chuckle, flipping your hair over your shoulder, you place your elbow on the kitchen table, continuing to eat your fries. You look out the window, eying the gray clouds in the sky and the wind in the trees, a storm is nearing and it’s making your stomach churn and your skin crawl.
You have always hated storms, the heavy wind that howls through the night, the strong rain that hits the windows harshly, thunder that makes you flinch after every crash and the lightning has always made you feel uneasy.
You hated being left alone in this house during thunderstorms, but your parents were gone, and your sister was rarely ever around at nights, so you had to find ways to calm yourself down, usually you did it by putting on headphones and turning the volume up high enough to drown out the noises of the storm outside, it helped. Music always helped.
But the night in the Upside Down changed everything, which is ironic, you always thought that an extreme situation would have killed your fear, but it didn’t, it only worsened it, and now not even music helps anymore.
“Are you gonna stay for a while?”
Eddie raises his brows as he reaches for his drink, eying your face.
You know he can read you, you know that he can see right through you. He is one of the only ones who can – and it scares you. Not because you don’t want him to know about your fears or your struggles, there is really nothing that you hide from him at this point… Nothing but that one thing, that one thing that no one can know about, not even Eddie.
“Yeah, I thought we could watch a movie, I brought some,” he points in the direction of the hallway, where he left some tapes on the counter.
You nearly sigh out loud, feeling relieved.
You wouldn’t want to be alone right now.
Thunder crashes in the distance, not loud enough to make you flinch, but enough to fill you with dread.
“Yeah, I’d like that,” you smile before you look out the window again, continuing to watch the clouds move, missing the way his eyes widen and the way he nearly chokes on his soda as he stares at your neck, at the marks you forgot to cover up before he came over.
“What the hell!”
The volume of his voice makes you flinch harder than the loud thunder that just crashed before the yell escaped his lips. You look back at him, bewildered, only to find him staring at your neck, already jumping from his seat and rounding the table to get to you.
You’re confused for a moment, staring at him with a frown, but when he stops in front of you, and he lifts your hair up to take a closer look at your neck, at the hickeys Steve had left, you nearly gasp yourself.
How could you have been so stupid?
How could you forget to cover them up?
Eddie stares at them for a moment, for a really long moment, before his confused eyes meet yours, “who gave these to you!?”
You can’t give him the truth, Steve would certainly break things off with you if you did – if he hasn’t already.
Blood rushes to your cheek the longer your best friend stares at you, waiting for an explanation.
“I uh… I had a uh… booty call?”
This would normally be the moment, where he’d laugh in your face, knowing that this is a lie. But he is too surprised to look deeper into your eyes.
“This is the first time I know you actually had sex, and you didn’t plan to tell me!?” He lets go of your hair, stepping back and throwing his arms up.
“It’s nothing special!” You lie, your eyes following him as he returns back to his seat, “h-he was just, he’s a guy that’s here because of a friend! I met him once at one of my sister's college parties…”
He is still in shock, his eyes are still glued to your neck.
“What’s his name?”
You swallow, placing your hands into your lap, you dig your nails into your palms, taking deep breaths as you try to appear calm.
“Why do you care, you don’t know him.”
“Exactly,” he smirks, crossing his arms over his chest, “so what’s the issue in telling me?”
He is now looking at your flustered face, and you are glad that he can’t actually read your mind, or else you’d be screwed as you’re trying to figure out a name to give him.
“...Chandler…”
His eyes grow wide, smirk falling a bit. He uncrosses his arms, reaching for his drink again as he sighs, “now I understand why you didn’t want to tell me his name.”
You clear your throat, the tension in your body dissolving a little.
“Uh huh…”
“So how was it?” He asks, wiggling his eyebrows at you.
It was… perfect.
Yeah, your nights with Steve were the best moments of your life. He made you feel things you have never felt before. He made you feel alive yet like you existed in some other world, a better place.
As you look into your best friend's eyes, you realize that now is the perfect opportunity to let it all out, to tell him things that you’ve been wanting to get off your shoulders, because maybe then, this will get easier for you. Maybe.
So you open your mouth and you start talking, without mentioning Steve’s name or anything else that could give you and him away.
You talk and you talk, and you get carried away, and yet, nothing eases the ache in your stomach or the one in your chest.
Just nothing.
If anything, talking about it makes it all only worse because it somehow strengthens every memory of him.
And, your memories are a blessing and a curse at the same time, they take you back to his kisses, to his lips that sucked marks on your skin, they remind you of how it felt to feel him inside of you, to hear him moaning your name, to feel him holding you close, to know that he felt good because of you.
But then, they also take you back to an unpleasant memory, and you can’t even stop yourself from thinking about it, not even as you sit before Eddie, not even as you both make your way into the living room to watch the movies he picked out, and surprisingly, not even the storm can stop the thoughts in your head.
“I see whoever I want and you do… the same.”
His words keep echoing in your mind, and you can’t help but wonder, is he already seeing someone else?
Is he touching someone else?
Is he kissing someone else?
Is he feeling good because of someone else?
Is he moaning someone else’s name as he had long forgotten about you?
Is that the reason why he never called?
He wouldn’t, would he? It’s only been two days.
He wouldn’t sleep with someone else… not so soon, at least, right?
Days and sleepless nights haunt you, just like the questions that keep piling up inside your troubled mind, it makes you feel restless.
There is nothing but Steve on your mind and it’s nothing new, but it feels different now after what had happened between you and him.
You long for him, your body yearns for him but you stay away, because maybe this is what he wants, days have passed and he didn’t call or come to see you, surely it must be what he wants, maybe he changed his mind about the deal, about you.
You’re proven wrong when you find yourself at Eddie’s pool ‘party’ on Friday afternoon, five days after you had walked out of Steve’s house.
The sun is shining, not a single cloud in sight, not a single trace of the storm that had crashed over the town only two days back.
The heat is beating down on your skin, but it’s a pleasant feeling as you lie on one of the pool loungers between Nancy and Max. Your sunglasses perched on your nose, hair falling down your shoulders as you keep adjusting it every few seconds or so, hoping that no one else will see the marks Steve left behind, you had done your best to cover them with makeup but that didn’t stick to your skin long enough, one jump into the pool and the layer was gone.
His eyes are glued on you and your pink bikini, and you can’t help but feel smug, despite all the insecurities that have lingered all week. You keep biting back your smirk whenever you catch him staring, and you watch how his cheeks flush red and he grows flustered before he hides it with his own smirk and a cocky look on his face.
You’ve greeted each other the way you always do, with suggestive smiles and cryptic words that only you two understand the meaning behind.
You haven’t talked much since he came though, but you keep brushing past each other, eying one another with that one look in your eyes when your hands reach out to touch each other, even if only for a short second.
Now you keep glancing at him, waiting for him to finally take his stupid white shirt off, but he seems content, standing in the shadows with a beer in his hand as he chats with Eddie.
“I missed this,” Nancy says, “tanning and not worrying about a single thing.”
You tear your eyes away from Steve and turn to look at her. Nancy is wearing a blue swimsuit, her curls in a messy bun, white framed sunglasses protecting her eyes from the scorching sun. You can’t help but stare at her, eying the girl that you once were so jealous of.
Nancy is beautiful, effortlessly so. She’s got those pretty doe eyes and the luscious curls that frame her face so perfectly. She’s a pretty sight to look at – you’re surprised to see that Steve’s eyes aren’t glued on her.
But her beauty was never the reason for your jealousy.
“Yeah, me too,” you murmur as you reach for the cocktail Eddie had made for you.
“I don’t know how you can enjoy it,” Max mumbles beside you, and you can’t help but chuckle, you’ve been waiting for her to start complaining. “I’m gonna look like a tomato if I keep sitting out here.”
You push your sunglasses up into your hair, watching as she gets up from the lounger.
You chuckle at her.
“I’m jumping into the water, I’m sick of the sun.”
She storms off, flipping her red hair over her shoulder before she jumps into the pool, joining Lucas, Mike and Will.
You sip on your cocktail, eyes moving back to Steve, just in time to see him finally taking his shirt off. He throws it over one of the chairs by the table, and lifts his hand up to run it through his hair, flexing his bicep as he turns his body to you as he steps into the sun.
You dig your teeth into the straw as you let your eyes roam his body. The hair on his chest, the scars on his sides, the scar around his neck, all looking so beautiful under the light. You see the smirk on his lips when he catches you ogling him, and you don’t even bother to hide it, to look away and play it cool.
But your eyes nearly bulge out of your skull and you almost choke on the sip you just took when Eddie’s eyes grow comically wide as he takes a look at Steve’s back. Your best friend’s jaw drops before a gasp falls from his lips.
You don’t need to think twice about what’s gotten him this shocked, you left marks on Steve, just like he left some on you – but yours are more aggressive.
While it’s only hickeys on your skin, it’s scratch marks on his.
Your heart jumps a little when you realize that Eddie could easily put two and two together and figure out that you didn’t sleep with Chandler or that Steve didn’t fuck Heidi – that they weren’t the ones who left marks on yours and his skin.
But before Eddie can even ask him any questions, he’s suddenly hit with a forceful stream of water coming from Dustin’s water gun. A different kind of gasp tears from his lips, and his face flashes with confusion before a deadpan expression takes over as he looks down at himself, water now dripping from his face, hair and his shoulders.
He looks around, searching for the culprit when he finds Dustin, hiding behind one of the bushes.
“You little shit!” He yells as he puts his beer on the table, he grabs one of the water guns, filling it up with water before he runs towards Dustin, who instantly jumps away from the bushes and runs into the opposite direction.
Steve shakes his head at them, watching them run around in the backyard, almost running into El, Robin and Vickie, who are in the middle of a little photo shoot with poor Jonathan – who hates being out in the sun, especially for this long.
You are still playing with your straw as you eye the male who stole your heart and your mind.
“Can I ask you something?” Nancy asks as she sits up, reaching for her own cocktail before she turns to face you, forcing you to look away from her ex boyfriend.
“Yeah, sure, what’s up?”
With a small smile on her face, she tilts her head to the side as she looks at you. You notice how red her cheeks have gotten, but you don’t know whether it’s because of the sun or the question she is about to ask.
She looks down, eyeing your necklace and the pink bikini top that she complimented before.
You stare at her curiously.
You and Nancy aren’t the closest, you get along, you talk whenever you see each other, there is never any awkwardness between the two of you, but still, you aren’t the closest.
“I know we haven’t talked much, but um… I was wondering– cause… I love Robin, seriously but– okay um…” she stutters, closing her eyes for a moment as she shakes her head before she opens her eyes again and looks back up, “I was gonna ask if you would like to go shopping with me?”
You're stunned.
With widened eyes, you stare at her, taking in the sight of her nervous face, cheeks growing redder when she’s met by your silence.
“Why me?”
“Like I said… I love Robin but her style… she always complains it's too girly when I show her something I want to buy,” she rolls her eyes as a smile tugs at her lips, “and you… you always look good, I love your skirts and dresses.”
Your eyes soften, blood rushes to your cheeks at her compliment.
You and Nancy have something in common, it was the reason why you started talking in the first place, after she find out who Chrissy was to you, she approached you, she offered you her condolences – she had a deep understanding in what it’s like to lose a close friend, she lost hers too.
You both lost that one girl friend.
“Thanks, Nancy. I’d love to go shopping with you.”
You watch the way her eyes light up, and you can’t help but feel surprised that someone like her feels excitement because of someone like you.
“Really?”
“Yeah,” you say as a smile appears on your face.
“Cool,” she smiles at you, unable to hide the giddiness in her voice.
“I’m sorry to interrupt you ladies, but would you like me to take a picture of you, before I drop the camera and never pick it up again today?” Jonathan asks as he stops in front of the two of you, with cheeks glowing red, thanks to the sun, and an exhausted look on his face, thanks to the three girls that forced him to be their photographer for the past hour or so.
Nancy giggles at her boyfriend.
“Sure, let's take a pic!”
First she wants to go shopping with you, and now she wants to take pictures with you. You can’t lie to yourself and act like it doesn’t touch your heart a little.
You hide your eyes behind the sunglasses again, not wanting to give away just how surprised you are by all of this.
You lean closer to her, holding your drink up a little as you smile into the camera – not feeling his eyes on you.
Steve is unaware of the smile that tugs at his lips as he watches you pose and smile next to Nancy, a giggle falling from your lips when Nancy whispers something to you. You lean even closer, wrapping your arm around the other girl as you grin into the camera.
Something bubbles in Steve’s chest, a feeling he can’t make out, but suddenly, he wishes that he was the one next to you, that he could be the one taking a picture with you.
He could. He could be the one, if he asked for it.
But how would that make him look?
What would you think of that?
You would certainly laugh at that and tease him, right?
He sighs and looks away from you when you’re done taking pictures, only to find Lucas staring at him, a smug look on his face as he wiggles his brows at him.
Steve clenches his jaw, rolling his eyes at the boy, he lifts his hand, pointing at him, “don’t even.”
Lucas smirks, swimming closer to the edge of the pool, “I didn’t even say anything.”
“Uh huh.”
Steve doesn’t even hear the footsteps behind him, focused on the boy in front of him.
“It’s so cute how you keep checking out your girlfriend,” Lucas giggles.
Steve runs his hand down his face, groaning, “she’s not my… listen you little shit–”
“God,” Dustin appears next to him, no water gun in his hand any longer, breathing heavily as he tries to catch his breath after running around the backyard.
Steve turns his head to look at him, but Dustin’s eyes are glued on Nancy, thinking that she was the one he was checking out.
He’s got it all wrong, so so wrong.
“Gotta let her go, man. I don’t know how many times–”
Steve rolls his eyes, he takes a step back and places his hands on Dustin’s back, shoving him into the pool.
He shrieks loudly before he goes down, the water splashes around him, tearing laughs out of Steve, Lucas and Max when the teen resurfaces, gasping and glaring at him. He grabs his cap that is now floating around in the water.
“My cap! You got it wet!” He shrieks again.
Max laughs at him, “you’re so dramatic, nerd.”
Steve is laughing, enjoying the shocked expression on Dustin’s face, when he feels a soft hand on his shoulder.
“Hi Stevie,” you purr into his ear.
Shivers run down his spine, an exciting feeling bubbling in his stomach as he turns around to face you, a smirk already tugging at his lips when his eyes meet yours.
You look at him innocently, tilting your head to the side as you flash him a smile.
“Hi blondi–”
You mimic his action, and push him into the water the way he did to Dustin.
“Hah!” Dustin laughs in triumph, pointing at Steve with a smug look on his face before he looks at you, “thank you, you’re much cooler!”
“Told you she is,” Max shrugs at him, making you laugh.
Mike and Will laugh at your action.
Steve flips his hair, turning to face you with a groan that quickly turns into a wince as he holds his hand in front of his left eye, scrunching his nose up in pain.
Your smile quickly falls and you take a step closer as he starts swimming back to the edge.
“Shit!” He curses, still holding his hand up, “chlorine got way into my fucking eye!”
You bend down as he swims closer, concern flashes in your eyes, something that doesn’t go unnoticed by the smug basketball player next to Dustin, or Will who always watches closely when you’re around Steve.
“Fuck, Lego head…” you murmur as you reach your hand out to cup his cheek, “let me see–”
Suddenly, Steve lunges forward, using the hand that just hid his eye to grab yours, he opens both eyes and greets you with a smirk before he pulls you into the water.
Of course you fell for it.
You shut your eyes and hold your breath before your body hits the cold. The water envelopes your whole body, shocking it a little after spending the past few hours lying under the sun.
You swim back up, only to be met by a laughing Steve who stares at you smugly.
The teens are laughing behind you.
“Ha ha…” You splash some water at the male in front of you, making him laugh even harder.
“Come on, Blondie,” Steve chuckles, biting his lip as he swims closer to you, “that was fair.”
You swim back, putting some distance between you both while he tries to close it, playing a dangerous game out here, in front of everyone to see.
Your stomach flutters when his eyes roam the parts that aren’t hidden beneath the water. A lust filled look flashing in his hazel eyes as he continues staring at you like some hungry animal.
God, you can’t do this, not here, not now.
You turn away from Steve, stretching your arms out beneath the water, and trying to swim away from him, away from the teens who aren’t even looking between the two of you anymore, more focused on Argyle who’s yelling at them to come out of the water to play soccer.
You swim to the other side of the pool and Steve follows, he’s not even bothered by all the eyes that could follow, though he still looks around to make sure that no one’s watching.
You enjoy the coldness of the water, desperately needing it after being under the weight of his eyes. Not even the sun could fill you with such warmth that his looks fill you with.
You stop swimming when you feel the ground beneath you again. Sighing as you reach your hands out to hold onto the edges when you suddenly feel his hand on your butt.
You gasp in surprise, blood rushing to your face as your eyes widen.
He presses his chest against your back, chuckling at the gasp that fell from your lips. He squeezes your ass roughly.
“Steve!” You nearly shriek, looking around in panic.
Nancy and Jonathan are now sitting in the shadows, sitting close to each other as they talk.
The teens are now playing soccer with Argyle.
Robin and Vickie now cozied up on the pool loungers as they listen to Eddie, who’s telling them a story, dramatically as it seems, he keeps throwing his arms up.
“Relax,” He whispers into your ear, letting his fingers dig into your skin one more time before he hooks his finger around the string on your bottoms, fingers tracing the bow that you tied before he snaps the material back against your skin, “no one’s watching,” he says so confidently, though he missed one pair of eyes when he looked around at your friends.
He swims around you so he can see your flustered face, he smirks at you as he leans his back against the wall, eying you up and down.
You blink, trying to hide the shock in your features, your heart still racing at his action.
“Why didn’t you call?” You blurt out.
Steve raises his eyebrows at you, eyes lighting up at your question, his smirk widens as he reaches for your hand under water, trying to pull you closer after looking over your shoulder, but you don’t budge, despite the fluttering in your heart, you don’t budge.
“Why didn’t you?” He retorts.
Because every time you wanted to, reminders of your past would come to haunt you.
You clench your jaw, and look down, instead of answering the question he threw right back at you, without giving you the explanation that you wanted.
If he wants to keep playing games, then so be it.
You push his hand away from yours, despite longing for more. You take a step forward, and lift your head, plastering a confident look on your face as you reach your hand out to hook your finger around the elastic band on his swim trunks, making him gulp.
“I was satisfied,” you shrug, lying right through your teeth.
He chuckles, licking his lips as he looks around, trying not to react to your touch, to your nails grazing his skin.
“Right, Blondie.”
You tilt your head at him, “what, you think you’re so irresistible, Lego head?” You ask, as you bring your hand back to your side and put some distance between you both again.
He shakes his head at you, smiling in amusement, “oh, you wanna continue this little back and forth then, huh?” He points between you both.
His spitcurl falls in front of his eyes, drops of water roll down his cheeks, and it takes everything in you not to follow those drops and watch as they fall down to his chest.
You don’t, but if it will keep him interested, then you are willing to do anything.
So you say, yes.
You keep playing the game, you keep teasing him, all day.
Whether you give him suggestive looks or tease him with the way you suck on the straw as you drink one cocktail after another, you bend down in front of him and touch him whenever no one is looking.
You play with him, just like you did before.
And it drives him crazy, you know it, you can see it – the fire behind his eyes only growing stronger and brighter, it’s what spurs you on.
When the teens are gone, Argyle and Eddie finally roll up some joints, Steve lights up the fire in the pit and Jonathan gets some more drinks from the fridge.
You all sit beneath the starry sky, the fire now lighting up the space around you, as music and laughter sounds through Eddie’s backyard.
You sit between Robin and Eddie, sipping on your fourth drink, your mind now hazy enough for you to let loose completely, giggling at anything your best friend whispers into your ear. You don’t even notice the sour looks you’re getting from the one who is sitting across from you.
Argyle and Robin are in some deep discussion about sex and relationships, the girl keeps scoffing at anything that leaves his lips.
Nancy and Jonathan watch the little banter unfold with amused looks on their faces.
“I’m just saying, I’m not even speaking out of experience, dude,” Argyle slurs, holding his hands up in surrender, “I think you can’t have sex with just one person and be happy with it – how can you even know what’s good when you’ve only been with one person!?”
Robin’s eyes roll far back as a frustrated groan escapes her.
“That is such a man thing to say!” She mumbles, tugging at her hair.
“It really is,” Vickie nods.
“You know, I actually kind of agree,” Nancy shrugs, taking a sip of her beer.
“With who?” Robin asks, tilting her head at the girl.
While everyone looks at Nancy, waiting for the answer, you look at Steve, watching him watch her.
“With Argyle.”
Steve’s eyes widen for a moment, and he quickly looks away from her and down at the joint between his fingers, he raises it up towards his mouth and places it between his lips.
You saw it, the flash of hurt, the pain behind his dark eyes.
And you can’t help but feel a pang of your own hurt, knowing how much he still mourns his past with her, how much it still hurts him that she isn’t his anymore, that he couldn’t make her happy, that he couldn’t make her feel the way Jonathan makes her feel.
“Oh wow,” Robin murmurs, looking down wide eyed.
“You gotta experiment!” Argyle says as she takes a look around, “as long as you’re single and you’re not hurting anyone, go around and have fun.”
Steve’s eyes find yours and he holds contact for a moment.
“Mhmm, I agree.” You nod. “But I think when you have that one person that you're deeply attracted to, both sexually and romantically, you can still have a lot of fun, you can experiment together and like, what do you need other people for when you have these types of feelings? You won’t get bored with that person.”
“Thank you!” Robin claps her hands together, “that’s what I’m talking about!”
“But, as long as you don’t have that person, you can just… experiment and have fun with others if you feel like it,” you shrug, taking a sip of your drink.
Steve’s eyes are glued on you, a weird feeling tugging in his chest.
"Oh, really?" Your best friend smirks at you, leaning forward in his seat, he places his elbows on his knees, “and how many people have you experimented with?” He wiggles his brows, ‘knowing’ about the very recent one.
Suddenly, all eyes are on you, all filled with curiosity.
“Wouldn’t you like to know?”
Argyle groans at you, and so does Eddie, while the others chuckle.
Steve, who watches you, not even expecting any other answer than ‘two guys’, knows about Billy and, well, himself. He passes the joint over to Robin and reaches for his beer instead.
“Come on, it’s a tight little circle, no secrets leave this,” Robin gestures to the group, “how many hearts did you break?”
You roll your eyes with a smile on your face, tugging the blanket closer to your body.
“Well, I have never broken any hearts before,” you start, avoiding his eyes, “but uh… there have been a… few… guys.”
You miss the way Steve freezes, the way he holds his beer midair as he was just about to take a sip from the can.
“Give us the number girl!” Eddie complains.
If you weren’t so tipsy, you would have probably felt much more flustered, beneath all the gazes.
With a sigh, you lean back in your chair, and look at your best friend, “fine… eight.”
Eddie gasps, his brown eyes grow so wide that it makes you laugh.
It’s truly a tragedy that you didn’t look at Steve, you would have seen the shocked and the very upset look on his face after that revelation.
“Holy shit!” Robin laughs in surprise, “I-I would’ve never thought! N-Not that it’s a bad thing of course, it’s just, you’re so… reserved!” She turns to look at Steve, also missing the look on his face, “look at you, you both have something in common!”
“Wow,” Jonathan slurs, dragging out the word, “good for you, grumpy.” He holds his drink up at you.
Nancy’s eyebrows are furrowed, her lips pursed as she looks at you in question, “so… are they like… all from Hawkins?”
“Oh no, no…” You shake your head, now catching a glimpse of Steve who stares at you with an unreadable look on his face. “My sister invited me to college parties, and we uh… went out to bars in Indianapolis, it was just one night stands… nothing deep, really.”
“Damn, sweetheart,” Eddie whistles, “I didn’t know you were so wild.”
While everyone seems to be very entertained by your sex life, Steve can’t help but feel irritated by it, despite not knowing any of the details yet.
“How many were from Hawkins?” Nancy asks.
“Just uh… one.”
Despite the bitterness on his tongue, he can’t help but smirk, knowing that he is the one, pride swelling inside of him.
“Do we know him?” Robin asks and Steve nearly chuckles, but then you say something that makes the smirk drop again.
“Um no, I don’t think so… I mean, he went to our school, but was like two years older? He was the captain of the football team.”
Vickie’s eyes widen, but she bites her tongue, while Robin furrows his brows, trying to figure out who it was.
Nancy and Jonathan glance at each other, furrowing their brows.
And, Steve… Oh, Steve is really not having the best time tonight. He knows exactly who you mean, Jacob Leeney.
In his King Steve era, he always considered him his rival.
While he was the captain of the basketball team, Jacob was the captain of the football team, and both of them were on the swim team, competing with each other to steal another number one spot. The girls loved him just as much as they loved Steve, if not more. Unlike him, who brought out the asshole side of himself to woo the girls, Jacob was nice to them, a real ‘sweet’ gentleman who used his plastered kindness to get his latest conquest in his bed.
He can’t believe you were one of his girls.
He can’t believe you fucked this many people in general, let alone Jacob fucking Leeney.
“You fucked Jacob!?” Eddie jumps up, “when!?”
You’re a little confused by the anticipation in his features, like there’s more he wants to ask, like there’s more that he knows.
“Uh… last year?”
“It was you!” He laughs loudly, pointing his ringed finger at you, “Fuck, Jacob. Holy shit, sweetheart, are you that good?” He smirks, wiggling his eyebrows at you.
Steve clenches his jaw, glaring daggers at Eddie.
“What?” You chuckle, confused.
“I was outside and he approached me after making me wait for like forty minutes to sell him weed as he had asked, and he just went ‘sorry man, I just had the best head and fuck of my life.’”
Steve feels nausea rising up to his throat, blood rushing to his cheeks from the irritation that grows inside of him. He stares at you, unable to tear his eyes away, and right now, he can’t tell whether he wants to drag you out of here and fuck you in his car to show you that he’s the best you’ve ever had or just leave by himself as the anger inside of him grows and grows.
Pictures of you and Jacob flash in his mind, making him clench his jaw and holding the can tighter, bending it a little.
Did you moan for Jacob the same way you did for him?
Did you cling to his body too?
Did you beg him for more?
“How do you even know it was me, Eddie!?”
“Was it at Caroline’s house?”
“Doesn’t prove it’s me–”
“November 3rd.”
Silence fills the air around you all.
“Oh shit, it was me…”
Nancy giggles at you and at the flustered expression on your face.
“Looks like you got some competition, Steve,” Robin laughs, slapping her best friend’s shoulder, “we got a fuckboy and a fuckgirl in this round.”
“I’m not a fuckgirl–”
“Sure you’re not, Blondie,” Steve says a little too harshly, “just that you fucked eight guys!”
And he wonders if you’re still doing that, if you’re still fucking others, even now.
The smug look on your face tells him that you do – is that the reason why you didn’t call? Because you had someone else who entertained you when he didn’t?
The thought fills him with anger and he doesn’t even know why.
You can do whatever you want, whoever you want.
He was the one who set up that rule.
If you do fuck others, maybe he should too.
“So?” You shrug at him, smirk tugging at your lips as you finally look at him.
He clenches his jaw, squinting his eyes at you.
You’re a little taken aback by the very obvious anger in his features, and yet, you can’t help but get distracted by how good he looks under the orangey glow of the fire.
“Aw, are you jealous that someone could beat your score?” Argyle laughs, wiggling his brows at Steve.
“Yeah, Steve,” Robin smirks, “how many girls did you fuck?”
You watch him curiously but you already know that no number will surprise you. Steve was or maybe he still is a real fuckboy, maybe not the rough kind, but still.
He clears his throat, looking around awkwardly as he scratches the back of his neck, before his eyes settle on you.
“Well, Blondie and I are actually on the same score.”
And here you thought you wouldn’t be surprised, you expected more from him.
Eddie laughs beside you, “are you playing in the same league though? What popular chick did you bang?”
Now that is something you don’t really want to know about. It’s not that you’re not curious about it, you just don’t want to deal with any more insecurities.
But Steve doesn’t bite his tongue, he could look at anyone right now, he could look at Eddie, who had asked him the question in the first place, but instead, he looks right at you.
“Jennifer Mitchell.”
Oh.
You have to bite your lip to stop your jaw from dropping.
You heard all about Jennifer Mitchell, Billy told you everything you… didn’t even want to know. The girl wasn’t exactly popular in school, but she was known… for one or two things.
Steve gives you a smug look, and you can’t even hold back from rolling your eyes at him.
“And the scratch marks?” Eddie asks, smirking. “Was that Heidi?”
You look down, pressing your lips together.
“What scratch marks!?” Robin gasps.
Steve clears his throat, running his fingers through his hair, panic settling in his gut.
Robin knows all about Heidi, and she knows that the girl isn’t capable of rough sex.
Maybe the alcohol in her system and another made up lie of his, will satisfy her though, so he tells her that Heidi changed, that she is now… experimenting. And he relaxes a bit, when she starts asking other questions, ones that aren’t about Heidi.
You don’t sit there and listen for long, not wanting to know the details about his times with other girls. You can’t stand it, so you pick up your empty glass and get up to walk into the house, ‘in need of another drink.’ But you only place the glass on the kitchen counter and stand there for a few minutes, staring at the alcohol bottles.
The jealousy that you feel is nothing new, you felt it countless times before, but it’s so much more intense now, because before last weekend, you never had him.
Now you kind of do, and it’s not a pleasant feeling to hear all about his sex life, to wonder if he’s still seeing others – you’ve been overthinking about it enough this week already.
You hear your friends laughing, and you wonder what else Steve had told them that is so funny.
You roll your eyes and push yourself away from the counter, leaving the kitchen and making your way upstairs and into the direction of the bathroom, needing a moment to yourself.
You turn on the light in the darkened room, but just as you’re about to step inside, you hear footsteps behind you. You turn around to see Steve walking towards you, with a look on his face that you can’t make out, right now.
You tilt your head to the side, plastering a confident smile on your lips, “miss me already?”
He catches you off guard when he places his hands on your waist and pushes you further into the bathroom, he closes the door behind him and locks it.
Beneath the bright lights, you can see his eyes much better, they’re dark as they stare directly into yours. His hair somehow still looks perfect, despite being in the pool all day and constantly running his fingers through it, it looks just as good as always. His nose and his cheekbones are red from being out in the sun, he’s wearing a flannel, the sleeves pulled up to his elbows, the top buttons undone. You have to swallow harshly when you eye the chest hair and his sun kissed skin that peeks through, you have to tear your eyes away but he looks so… good. You can’t help yourself.
Steve lets go of your waist, he crosses his arms over his chest, his face hardens.
“So eight huh?”
You lift your brows, surprised at his question, you didn’t think that this is what he came here for.
“What’s to it?”
“Am I number eight, Blondie?”
“No,” you smirk, “number nine.”
His jaw clenches a little, he blinks slowly as he glares into your eyes a little.
“What is it, King Steve?” You ask, reaching your hand out, you place your finger on his chest, dragging it down a bit, “afraid I have more experience than you? Cause trust me… that is entirely true.”
He chuckles at you, shaking his head, “you wish.”
“I don’t have to wish,” you shrug, “but do tell, am I your number eight?”
“Nah,” he whispers as his eyes flicker to your hand, to your fingertips that trace the exposed skin beneath his flannel, he gulps, trying not to show how your touch makes him feel, “you’re my number nine too.”
“Uh huh,” you murmur.
You wonder how many girls he had been with after Nancy left him.
You wonder when Jennifer happened, before or after her.
“You know, you kinda flinched a little at the mention of Jennifer,” Steve says with a very amused voice.
“Nope,” you shrug, looking at him innocently, “just surprised you would fuck her, that’s all.”
“Well… she certainly knew what she was doing,” he says, testing the waters to see how you will react.
“And what exactly did she do, Harrington?”
“I’ll keep that to myself.”
The smile on his lips and the prideful look in his eyes sparks your anger, the one that’s been brewing inside of you, all week. Yet somehow, the sadness and your insecurities were stronger than the raging emotion that now takes control of you, alongside the deep jealousy that pushes you to do something that you have been craving all fucking day.
You throw aside all your thoughts, all your worries, and you take the leap.
You place your hands against his chest, watching the way his smile falls as surprise lights up in his hazel eyes. You slam him against the wall next to the door that he just locked, you grab his face and pull him down, smashing your lips against his.
Steve gasps against your lips, and you can’t help but feel excitement rushing through you. He melts against you so quickly, and so easily. He cups your cheeks and kisses back just as roughly.
No matter how fast his lips move against yours, he isn’t the one in control today, and he knows it, he can feel it… and to his surprise, he doesn’t mind it.
You press your tongue against his bottom lip, and he wastes no second to let you slip it into his mouth. He presses his palm against your cheek, moaning when you deepen the kiss further.
You get lost in it, just the way you did the first time and the second time. You get so lost in his kiss that nothing around you matters anymore – not your friends who could come looking for you both any minute, not your jealousy that makes you seethe, not the fact that he isn’t yours. Nothing matters, only he does.
He keeps moaning against your lips and as you press your chest against his and you feel him against your stomach, you can’t help but moan too.
It takes everything in you not to drop to your knees and use your mouth to worship him, just the way you had always wanted to.
Not yet, you tell yourself.
You throw your arms around his neck and let your fingers get lost in his hair, tugging at it as you keep your hands busy, so you don’t give into your lust and slide your palm down his stomach and into his pants.
You can feel that he tries to take control but you don’t let him and the moment you press your thigh between his legs, he’s done for, he stops trying to fight for dominance. A whimper falls from his lips as they stop moving against yours for a moment, stunned by your little move.
His hands fall from your face down to your waist, holding onto it tightly as you kiss him like it’s the last thing you will ever do.
Steve’s heart is racing in his chest, out of pure shock, his stomach fluttering and his dick twitching in his pants – he needs you, he wants you so bad. He is starting to grow breathless, but he doesn’t want this moment to end, not yet. It’s been bad enough waiting for your call all week, he had to use his hand more times than he could count as his mind kept taking him back to you.
Now you’re here, right in front of him, and you clearly still want him just as much as he wants you. And your lips, your lips taste so good, a hint of strawberry from the balm you always carry around the cocktails that you’ve been drinking all day.
The roughness of the kiss, the intensity and your touches show him that there is a side to you that he hasn’t had the pleasure of getting to know just yet, but he wants it, so so bad.
You tug at his hair, tilting his head back a little as your tongue keeps moving against his and the kiss somehow grows deeper and hungrier, moans falling from your lips, echoing through the room with his.
Neither of you care about the possible consequences.
Steve nearly busts in his pants when you press your stomach against his aching dick. You let your left hand roam his shoulder, his chest and his stomach, your fingertips start inching closer and closer to where he needs you the most.
But just as he’s about to break the kiss to start begging for you to touch him, you roughly pull away and take a step back from him, leaving him without the warmth you just provided him with.
He almost whines at the loss of your touch.
Now the room is filled with panting and loud breathing besides the deafening silence.
You bite your lip, tasting the beer and the mint that his lips have left behind. Your knees nearly buckle as you take in the sight of him.
Flushed cheeks, messy hair and puffy lips, along with the big eyes that are filled with nothing but desperation and lust.
Despite the fluttering in your heart, as you stare at the man before you, you can’t help but smirk.
Who would’ve thought you could turn him into that?
That you could leave him desperate and panting for more.
You take a step forward again, watching the way his curious eyes follow every of your movement, lips parting as he slightly leans down, thinking that you will kiss him again.
And you do, just not the way he wanted you to.
You press your lips to his cheek, giving it a soft and teasing kiss before you lean closer to his ear.
“I’ll wait for you at my house later.”
And with that, you step away from him, you unlock the door and open it, throwing another glance over your shoulder at a very flustered Steve – a look that leaves you swelling with pride and a glimpse of hope.
You can feel the way he reacts to your touches, you can see how red his cheeks can glow for you, how lust filled his eyes can get – something that never even happened in the past, not even once but now here you both are.
You doubt that he could ever feel more for you than this.
And yet, you would wait for years.
You would wait forever.
♡
tagging friends and mutuals
@prettyboyeddiemunson @mysticmunson @wroteclassicaly @maroon-cardigan @taintedcigs @sherrylyn628 @munsonlore @ibellcipem @joekeerysmoles @agirlwholovesrockstars
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