#now im sitting here fucking crying and wishing i was dead

[prettyboysmlm]

hahaha

#so for some reason our recycle truck comes at like 5pm now #so when i got home from school today i didn’t bring the recycle bin in bc they hadn’t taken it #and my mom said to me at ten pm. when it’s pitch black out. after i’d already showered. to go out and get it. #and i drug my feet with it bc i don’t wanna fucking do that it’s dark out and i don’t wanna go outside after i just showered #so i finally go down there to do it #and she already did it and said that im grounded tomorrow #jesus fucking christ i can’t win #she always does shit like this to make me feel like shit and to take away my shit #bc she can’t stand that i have access to stuff that can make me hate her #now im sitting here fucking crying and wishing i was dead #all bc the recycle truck comes late now. #god im gonna fucking kill myself #happy first fucking day of senior year to me!!!!!!!!!!! #gonna go do beans #which i haven’t done in months #thanks mom can’t wait til i’m gone and never have to see you again #k.txt #vent tw #sh tw

[kennahjune]

Steddie

I’m joining the s3 steddie train :D

…

Steve was late. He was so late and so dead. Robin was going to kill him— he’d never make it out of Scoops Ahoy alive.

This was his thought process after dropping Will Lucas and Max off at Mikes. This was also his thought process the entirety of the way to Scoops while he shoved his way through the mall.

The moment he entered the small shop Robins eyes locked on him in a glare. Steve barely gave her a second before he was going to the back room to get ready for his shift.

He heard the back room door open behind him.

“You’re—“

“24 minutes late I know,” he said as calmly as he could while trying to relax his breathing.

“Yeah and—“

“And you get an extra 25 minutes for your break, yes Robin I know!”

Steve finally closed his employee cubby and turned to look at Robin. “Look. Im sorry I was so late today but Will, Lucas and Max are assholes when they’re being petty and they needed a ride to Mikes cause all the others were busy! I’ll take closing shift today to if you’re really that mad.”

Robin stared at him angrily from the doorway. “Fine.” She uncrossed her arms. “And yes, you will be taking the closing shift tonight. I have a study date with a friend that I can’t miss.”

“It’s summer vacation?”

“Shut up!”

Steve shrugged when the door closed.

He closed the door to his employee locker with a little more force than necessary. He had a migraine building and the bright, florescent lights of the mall weren’t helping in the slightest.

He walked out and began his shift.

…

Eddie wanted to enjoy his day off. Preferably by himself. But Gareth and Jeff decided that his personal life was their personal life. So here they were.

He had wanted to spend the day away from the mall, considering that that was where everyone seemed to be nowadays. But the guys were insistent.

So they were walking around. It wasn’t too bad, considering Eddie had gotten himself a new record and tape with his newest paycheck. They were sitting at the fountain when Gareth shouted right in Eddie’s ear:

“HOLY SHIT!”

Eddie just about punched him with how hard he jumped. Jeff spit out his Pepsi all over Eddie.

While Eddie was worrying about getting the sticky drink off of his skin, Gareth continued with; “is that HARRINGTON in Scoops?”

Well. Now he has Eddie’s attention.

Sure enough, just in Eddie’s line of sight, was Steve Harrington in a sailors uniform and a dorky hat.

A dorky hat that was soon snatched up by his current customer, Billy Hargrove.

Jeff clapped him on the shoulder and leaned over him to get a better view. “Is that Hargrove?”

“Yep.” Eddie popped the P.

“It looks like he’s messing with Harrington.”

“Yep.” Another pop on the P.

“And Harrington looks like he’s gonna fucking explode.”

Eddie agreed. Harrington was red in the face and not in the cute blushy-way he usually gets (don’t ask why Eddie knows that). He was talking back to Hargrove, probably something bitchy and sarcastic in typical Harrington-fashion based on the way Hargrove seemed to recoil for a moment before jumping back.

“Should we do something?” Gareth asked skeptically. Jeff shrugged where he was pressed against Eddie’s back.

“I’m going in.” Eddie stood and nearly knocked Jeff down in the process.

“Hang on—“

“Nope! Wish me luck, boys!” Eddie yelled over his shoulder while he dashed over. He heard them both get up and follow him.

…

Steve wanted to cry.

His head hurt so fucking bad and his back was killing him and he had ran into a shelf earlier and had a killer bruise on his arm and leg from it and everything was too fucking much.

Then, in all his asshole and dick glory, in came Billy Hargrove.

At this point, Steve would rather take another plate to the head then have to deal with his annoyingly aggravating voice. Hargrove came in, probably expecting Robin to be there, but got Steve instead. And honestly Steve would rather deal with him then leave Robin with him.

So he’s been enduring it, giving his own comments and comebacks but overall hating his life and just wanting to curl up and die.

Then his savior showed up. In all his black leather and chains, Eddie fucking Munson.

Hallelujah.

Hargrove seemed to back down the moment Munson showed up. Which wasn’t too strange considering that Munson supplied over half of Hawkins’ weed supply. Including Steve’s own for a while. He hasn’t bought in a while cause of the brat brigade.

But not the point.

Hargrove nodded to Munson. “Munson.”

Wow. Real cool, Billy. Steve held back a snicker.

“Heeyyy, Hargrove!” Munson cheerily greeted. But there was something about his smile that was off, to Steve. It seemed tighter than usual, his eyes not crinkling with the motion like normal. Don’t ask why Steve knows this.

Munson’s eyes seemed darker, too. Like he was angry. Maybe Hargrove didn’t pay him? Steve couldn’t bother to care with how bad his head started to pound.

He shouldn’t be at work with this migraine. He knows that. His doctor’s told him this multiple times. But he owes it to Robin for being late so much and he needs to prove to his dad that he can take care of himself.

“So what brings you here, Billy?” Munson asks casually, stepping farther into the shop. Steve seems to finally be forgotten about, and he places his head down on the counter. The cooled surface definitely helps with the spinning room.

He hears Hargrove say something back, but he isn’t paying attention anymore. His eyes are stating to go blurry and he really needs to sit down. But then Munson says something that catches his attention:

“Just leave Harrington alone, man. Last I checked he did nothing to you.”

What the hell? Steve wished he could lift his head and see what Munson was doing. What he looked like when he said that. If he looked as mean as he sounded.

Steve only lifts his head a few moments later when he feels a hand on his back. He shoots up quicker than he intends, and nearly falls back down if not for the hands still holding him up.

“Shit,” he grumbles quietly to himself, whining even quieter at the sudden rush of pain and the black dots in his vision.

“Easy there, your highness.” Munson.

Steve blinks slowly, letting Munson set him down in a booth. He doesn’t remember walking over but he’ll take it. He puts his head back down and intertwines his fingers behind his head. He groans quietly again, the pounding slowly receding.

“Hey man, is there something we could do? Do you need anything?” He heard Munson ask.

We? Steve wants to ask, but finds himself not caring. “Water, and my bag from the back please,” he rasps out. Talking makes the pounding worse.

He hears someone rush off to the back and a moment later a hands on his back again and is helping him sit up.

“Here ya go sweetheart.” Munson slides the glass of water and bag over to him.

Steve silently reaches into his bag and pulls out his small “to-go” med-kit. He carries it around mainly for the kids. Mike tends to be clumsier than he comes off as and Max is always trying out some new skateboarding tricks. From inside the kit he pulls out a pill bottle and swallows 2 with the water and goes for another 2 before a hand stops him.

“I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to take more than 2.” This voice is new but familiar. Steve squints past the blurriness and makes out someone he recognizes from school; Gareth Emerson.

“4,” Steve manages past the lump in his throat. Munson, Emerson, and someone else Steve doesn’t quite know look at him. Munson continues to hold Steve’s hand on the table, rubbing his thumb over his knuckles. It weirdly intimate but the comfort is very welcome.

“4 what?” The other guy asks.

“4 pills. I usually take 4.”

Munson and Emerson both wince. The third guy looks at him like he’s insane. Steve finally recognizes him as Jeff,… something. He actually never got his last name.

“Dude— are you trying to overdose!?”

Steve winced at the sudden loudness, whining quietly. Munson shushed Jeff and Steve heard him rush out an apology.

The bell over the door dinged at that moment, and Steve found himself face to face with Max, Mike, Will, Lucas, and— for some reason— Jonathan.

“Uh— hi?” Steve attempted for a greeting.

“‘Hi!?’” Mike yelled. “Hi yourself man! We called your walkie at least 4 times!! What the hell?”

“Are you ok? Why didn’t you answer?” Will asked in a much quieter tone.

Lucas and Max wasted no time before slotting themselves in the booth with Steve. Munson remained across from Steve, and Emerson and Jeff now hovered farther away, but Lucas slid right in next to Munson and Max next to Steve.

“What the fuck, Harrington?” Max demanded. But she clung to his shirt tightly.

“Language, Mayfield,” he reprimanded quietly.

Mike paused where he stood. “Why are you talking so quietly? Shit— do you have a migraine?”

Suddenly 4 pairs of little eyes were gazing at him with unmasked concern. Holy shit was this overwhelming.

“Guys—“

“Why didn’t you say that, Steve?” Lucas asked.

“Are you ok? How long has it been going on for? Asked Will.

“Why are even here if you’re not able to function properly?” Mike reprimanded in his own caring-ness.

Max clutched to him tighter. “Why aren’t you at home? You could’ve called in sick or something!”

“Shhh!” Mike shushed her.

“Don’t shush me—“

“Shut up!” He whisper shouted. “You have to be quiet and try to control your temperature while resting in a dark, quiet room to try and help with migraines. Pain killers help to but no more than 3.”

Everyone stared at him. He went a little pink under the sudden attention.

“Nancy gets migraines a lot from reading in the dark.”

Jonathan came over right then. Steve was suddenly overwhelmed by all the people surrounding him.

“Uhm—“

“Hey,” Munson called. Steve forgot about him for a good moment. “This is cute and all, but maybe we should not surround him? Poor boy looks like he’s gonna cry.”

Everyone turned to look at him. Tears had— in fact— sprung to his eyes.

“Sorry!” All the kids rushed out quietly at the same time. Max climbed out of the booth and Munson and Jonathan both assisted with helping Steve to the break room. Jeff and Emerson stayed with the kids, but Mike came with them since he seemed to know what he was doing better than the 3 of them.

On their way back to the room though, Steve’s legs nearly gave out from under him. Shit. It’s one of those days. Munson just barely managed to catch him under the armpits while Jonathan got him by the waist.

“Woah there, sweetheart.” Munson grunted.

“Careful, Steve,” Jonathan said quietly.

“Sorry. Spinning.” Steve exhaled shakily.

Mike came rushing back after realized they weren’t with him. “Damn. Spinning? Are you able to walk? Or are they gonna have to carry you?”

Jonathan looked up at the mention of having to carry Steve. “Yeah— I’m not able to carry him. I am so not strong enough for that.” He had the decency to look apologetic.

Munson chuckled quietly and the sound reverberated through his chest where Steve’s head was. It was soothing.

“Don’t worry Big Byers. I’ve got him no problem.”

Steve was given no warning before he was being picked up in a bridal carry. He winced sharply and laid his head on Munson’s shoulder. Jonathan whistled lowly from somewhere beside them and Steve blindly kicked his leg in his direction, scoring in kicking him in the arm. Jonathan snickered.

…

When Munson chased off Hargrove he didn’t expect for Harrington to all but collapse in on himself and try to fucking overdose on like 5 pain killers. He also hadn’t expected to be bombarded by 4 kids and 1 Jonathan Byers. Least of all did he expect to be carrying Harrington bridal style to the break room of Scoops Ahoy.

Somewhere behind him, Gareth turned the sign on the door to closed. Eddie silently thanked him.

The kid— who he vaguely remembers as Nancy Wheeler’s younger brother— opens the door and startles a half asleep Robin Buckley.

“Hello,” Jonathan throws her way before pulling a chair out for Eddie to sit on.

“Uh— hi? What the hell—“

Eddie takes the seat with Harrington in his lap. Robin looks dumbfounded.

“Migraine,” Jonathan helpfully supplies.

“Really, really bad migraine. Vertigo included. Full package tonight, folks.” Mike adds.

“Ok— um, is he ok? He doesn’t look ok. If it was so bad why didn’t he just call in sick?”

“That’s a good question,” Mike retorts quietly while rooting around in a freezer.

“What are you looking for”, Robin asks.

“Ice pack. The dumbass has everything in that first aid kit of his except a damn ice pack.”

“Language,” Harrington reprimanded quietly from where his cheek was against Eddie’s chest. Eddie chuckled quietly when Mike retorted with a half-assed “sorry”.

Eddie couldn’t help but admire the now sleeping Harrington in his lap. He bent in half like a shrimp, his knees just about to his chest, and his hands gripping tightly onto Eddie’s still-Pepsi-soaked t-shirt. But he looked so at peace while asleep. Like he hadn’t just had the worst migraine Eddie’s ever seen and wasn’t just about to pass out on his feet. Eddie smiled.

Mike comes over silently, managing to sneak up on Eddie and make him jump slightly and causing Harrington to whine. He’d been whining a lot today. And under “different circumstances” Eddie would’ve found it hot as fuck.

“Sorry,” Mike whispered. He seemed to be able mellow out a lot when he actually tried. He seemed like such an asshole out at the booth but now he seems quieter. These kids really cared about Harrington, huh?

“Here.” Jonathan helped him out and gently picked up Harrington’s head. Eddie caught Harrington actually kind of leaning into his touch. A strange but endearing friendship. Mike placed the ice pack— now wrapped in a cloth— on Eddie’s chest where Harrington’s head lays.

Harrington lays back down and is out like a light soon enough.

Eddie zoned out until there’s a very, very soft knock on the door. When he looks up, Jonathan is letting the other 3 kids in while Jeff and Gareth stand in the doorway.

“Is he ok?” Asks Jonathan’s little brother.

Jonathan nods and pats his head. “He’s ok, Will.”

The redhead walks over and takes a silent seat next to Eddie so she’s next to Harrington. She takes Harrington’s hand in hers and proceeds to just sit there and hold it.

“He’s ok, Max. Just a migraine,” the third kid, Lucas he thinks, reassures with a hand on Max’s shoulder.

“That’s what he said before. And then he was in the hospital.”

Woah, what?

“Hm?” Lucas looks at him.

Oh. He said that aloud.

“Wait what?” Robin asked quietly.

Jonathan’s whistled lowly. It seems to be a bit of a tic for him. “Yeah uh— funny story. Hargrove broke a plate over Steve’s head last year and nobody realized how bad it actually was until he passed out after claiming it was only a migraine.”

“He ended up in the hospital for like 2 weeks,” added Lucas.

“He needed several stitches on the side of his head.” Max unhappily supplied. Lucas squeezed her shoulder.

“It was a stage 4 concussion,” muttered Will and Mike put his head on his shoulder.

Eddie caught Gareth and Jeff’s eyes across the break room. Huh.

The Will kid came up to Eddie suddenly. “Thank you. For uh— helping with Steve. It means a lot to us. He means a lot to us.”

Mike, Max, and Lucas all nodded.

“Hang on,” Lucas piped up. “Who are you?”

…

So uh— set myself up for a part 2 there :’D

Part 2

#stranger things #steve harrington #dustin henderson #mike wheeler #eddie munson #robin buckley #will byers #max mayfield #lucas sinclair #jonathan byers #nancy wheeler #corroded coffin #steve harrington x eddie munson #steddie hcs #steddie fics #steddie #steve harrington whump #steve harrington gets killer migraines #the boy has 3 and counting concussions

[breaddwoo]

-Just a Few Scratches-

pairing: xavier thorpe x reader

word count: 4.36k

warnings: injury/blood

desc: you get injured trying to solve xavier's problems for him. silly you :)

a/n: im having a field day writing all my fic ideas :)) can't decide if the next one will be another xavier or wednesday

edit: pt 2 is now posted! 🦭

"fuck, fuck!" xavier yelled, sprinting across the field of pine needles before him and leaping over bushes and rocks.

cold sweat dripped down his flushed face; he could feel tears sting the back of his eyes. xavier felt like he could puke as he ran, but only one thing occupied his mind:

"(y/n)!"

> > >

-5 hours prior-

“are you doing okay, xavier?" you ask with worry. after class you had to stay late to ask the teacher something, so it was a surprise when you found xavier sitting on a bench in the hallway with his head in his hands.

he jolted. looking up, he seemed tired. really tired. you noticed the purple bags under his eyes and the way his breathing appeared to be unsteady.

xavier tried to smile, but it instantly fell off his face when he met your gaze. he bit the inside of he cheek to keep salty tears from spilling out of his eyes.

"I... " he began, but it came out as a strangled sob.

the sight of his pitiful state filled you with worry, and you picked up your pace as you sped over to him.

standing in front of xavier, you ask, "have you been sleeping? you look like a wreck."

xavier laughed at this, quickly wiping away a tear that dared to escape, "yeah, i know. I'm just.." he looked down, "I'm just really stressed."

you stepped closer and he pressed the top of his head to your stomach, refusing to look at you as he loosely wrapped his arms around your waist.

you began to move your hand to pat his head, but hesitated. "can i...?"

without hearing the rest, xavier said, "please."

this consent allowed you to weave your fingers through his hair. "do you want to talk about it?" you asked in a low voice, afraid that somehow, despite the hall's vacancy, someone would hear this sensitive conversation.

he was quiet for a few moments, considering his words.

"it's... wednesday. i'm so, so tired of her- of her blaming me! always saying i'm a mass murdering monster! it fucking hurts and she keeps finding new evidence that genuinely makes sense, " his voice is strained as he tightens his hold, "but i can't do anything to convince her it's not me. and she even found my art studio, which just makes me look worse."

seeing him like this made you want to cry, but you restrained yourself because this wasn't about you; this was about xavier.

"i'm so fucking scared that she's going to get me locked up. i can't even blame her- all of the evidence points directly at me! and these nightmares, they plague me in my sleep and i wake up screaming and then i can't go back to sleep so i've just been painting that fucking thing so i-" his rambling is cut short when he hiccups through his frustrated tears. he felt angry and hurt and afraid.

you leaned down to hug his head, pushing his face into your tummy as he sniffles. "i'm sorry, xavier. i wish there was something i could do."

xavier looked up from your (now wet) shirt to say, "just listening is enough. don't worry about it, hopefully everything will fix itself soon."

and as he rested his head once more, an idea came to you.

there's a way to help xavier.

> > >

three knocks and wednesday was ready to order thing to strangle the person at the door.

she lifted from her desk, about to tell off the perpetrator for interrupting her writing time. when she opened the door, however, she recognized you as the person that xavier constantly follows around.

"enid isn't here," she said point blank, beginning to shut the door. you stick your hand out and risked amputation to make sure it doesn't close, "actually, im here to see you."

wednesday narrowed her dead eyes, "go on then. explain."

"i need to know where the hyde's lair is."

wednesday's facial expression didn't change, but you could tell she was confused.

"why don't you ask xavier? he would know."

the fake smile that you wore to feign being nice dropped. instead, you replaced it with a tight, irritated line on your lips.

"haha, yeah, i would. yknow, if he were the hyde. but here i am, asking you. why do you think that is?" you said all this with a lighthearted tone through clenched teeth.

wednesday could read the passive aggressiveness of your words but decided to press on, "try looking at his gallery of police evidence. that would give you the answer you're looking for."

with that, the door closed and you soon heard the sharp clicks of a type writer. you knew she was talking about xavier's art studio, but he hasn't allowed you in since people started dying around the school.

you decided that the only way to enact your plan would be to sneak into the renovated shed. sneaking in you could do, but distracting him for enough time to find something was completely different.

fuck, this is gonna be hard.

> > >

in the end, enid was your best bet. your plan was for enid to ask him for help on a subject and get him to tutor her for a bit in the library.

she agreed immediately, hoping it would also make ajax jealous; it was a win-win situation.

though, when she asked, you would not tell her why you needed her to do this in the first place. she was skeptical but trusted that you were doing it for a good reason.

finding the studio was easy, you had been there so many times that you knew the trail like the back of your hand. you were xavier's rock after his breakup with bianca, so it made sense that he'd commonly invite you to paint with him in his secret hideout.

when you made it there, you took no time to begin searching every single art piece for a deeper meaning. xavier mentioned that he was having nightmares about the foretold monster, but wouldn't allow you to see the art "for your own safety".

there was nothing of value on the walls and canvases, so you turned to plan b.

you bent down to the trash, fishing through it, hoping you'd find something important. about ten pieces of paper had been uncrumpled by the time you found something worth your dumpster diving.

"there it is!" you excitedly whisper-scream to yourself.

it was a drawing of the monster in front of a familiar cave. though its name and exact location eluded you, there was someone who would know those exact details.

later, after asking eugene if he knew anything considering you'd seen him working alongside wednesday on the investigation, you set the final steps of your plan in motion.

it is here that you will find out who the hyde is, if only to relieve xavier of his stress.

> > >

"enid, we've gone over this topic, like, ten times. i think you're just a lost cause," xavier said in exasperation. he had been attempting to teach enid the different geometrical formulas but she hasn't understood a single word he's said in the past two hours.

xavier, giving up, grabs his phone off the library table to check his notifications.

"huh, that's weird."

"what?" enid asked.

"(y/n) hasn't texted me. usually she'd have sent several messages asking to hang or something by now," he frowned, his expression a dark overcast.

enid, feeling something was off, finally broke, "uhm, well, (y/n) kind of asked me to distract you. im not really sure what for, but she did mention something about an art studio?"

xavier's heart lept in his chest. "what?"

"yeah, sorry, i felt she had a good reason but now i'm a little worried, " enid replied with an awkward laugh.

he wracked his brain for any reason that you might have had to go to his studio. a surprise? was she curious about the paintings i wouldn't let her see? why would she need to sneak around to do it?

instead of searching for an answer that wouldn't come to him, xavier stood from the table, gave a small "thanks", and left the library in a hurry.

at the studio, he found nothing amiss. none of the paintings were gone and nothing had been moved.

that's what he thought, however, until he saw the trash can laying on its side in the corner of the room. kneeling, he sifted through the scattered, unfolded papers.

his eyebrows knitted together in further confusion. what is missing?

then it hit him:

the drawing of the hyde's lair.

xavier didn't know exactly what you were up to, but he knew with every fiber of his being that it was definitely dangerous. he was absolutely terrified.

the doors burst open as xavier ran out of the studio, an unwelcome gust of wind blowing many of the drawings off the walls. at that moment, he couldn't have cared less.

a mirage of trees passed him by as he sprinted. the nighttime autumn air was far too cold for the season.

"fuck, fuck!"

the words were strangled and every noise around him felt muffled; all he could hear was the crunching of the leaves beneath his racing feet and his own hammering heartbeat.

"(y/n)!" he shouted, the distress in his voice echoing back at him.

xavier slowed to a stop, unable to tell where he had gone in his desperation to find you. he took a second to breathe when a shrill scream sounded from an unknown direction.

the scream of a girl. a girl who was horrified, or worse, in danger.

and he would know that voice from anywhere. it was someone familiar; someone close to him. the person most important to him.

"(y/n)! where are you!?" he yelled in response, but the forest had turned into something akin to a funhouse mirror maze and he couldn't tell left from right.

xavier heard footsteps running toward him at a high speed, and just as he began dash in the similar direction, you came into full view.

pain spread through his chest as you slammed into him, sending you both crashing to the moist soil beneath.

you were laying on top of him now; shaking with labored breaths.

it rook a moment for xavier to process what had happened, but he wrapped his arms around you with little delay.

"you- are you okay!? what were you doing!? are you stupid!? there's a fucking monster on the loose and you-"

he shut his mouth when saw a steadily growing red patch on his shirt.

"you're bleeding! oh shit, we need to get you back to nevermore fast," he was quick to hold you, your body laying bridal style across his arms.

you winced in pain, sobbing out the words, "i'm sorry. i'm sorry xavier, i just wanted to help. i really wanted to help. i'm sorry."

xavier didn't give a shit about your apology. he wasn't mad at you. he was mad at that thing that hurt you. he was fucking furious.

he had many, many things to say to you but for now, he'd let you rest in his arms.

he then headed back in the direction he had come from, you now tucked safely in his embrace.

> > >

once the final stitch was in, xavier was allowed to visit your hospital room.

the bright white lights made him feel sick. even more so when he saw you sitting in bed with a hospital gown and an IV drip in your arm.

the moment he walked in, you gave him a warm, content smile.

"is right now really a good time for you to be smiling?" xavier questioned, sitting on a seat next to the bed.

you held the hand that he placed on the edge of the sheets, "well, i was able to achieve my goal."

"at the cost of several pints of blood and a couple scars on your arm? what was worth that?" he asked, unrestrainable anger surfacing on his face.

though, when he took in the finer details of your state, he couldn't help but soften. many scrapes graced your skin from the collision earlier; the complexion of your face much paler than normal.

rubbing his knuckles to ease his frustration, you say, "i was able to convince wednesday that you're not the hyde. how could she believe that out of all the people you could attack, you'd attack me?"

something clicked in xavier's head and it all made sense. this all started after his breakdown in the hallway, caused by wednesday's meddling. the sneaking around, stealing his drawing and going off into the woods.

"so you did this on purpose? you scared me half to death!" he bursted, his emotions a flurry of love, anger, and guilt.

"so what if i did? it's just a few scratches."

god, he loved you. could you believe he had yet to even ask you out?

#wednesday netflix #wednesday addams #xavier thorpe #xavier x reader #xavier thorpe x y/n #xavier thorpe x reader #enid sinclair #wednesday imagine #xavier thorpe imagine

[shotmrmiller]

pet angst anon !!! you're johnny's fox, and he gives you a sweet kiss on your nose and a new collar right before he leaves to capture markov. nothing he hasn't done before, he'll be back before you know it and then he's going to take leave so he can take you home to scotland for however long price is able to let him.

but he doesn't come back. john does, though. and you don't know much, and he probably shouldn't have told you in the first place, but you know john was the one who stopped johnny from killing markov in the first place. and now he's here, telling you he's dead because of him. (him being markov? price? both? you don't care).

you're blinded by your rage and grief. the boys are there, they thought it best to be in your company when you were given the news, and it's a good thing because you come so fucking close to clawing john's eyes out, a shatter wail tearing through your throat that it makes you hoarse.

and the boys, trained and all corded muscle, both gaz and simon, have to use so much of their strength to keep you back. they knew you weren't going to take the news in any semblance of okay, and that makes more than enough sense. but they didn't expect this explosive rage, this venom you spit at their captain, breaking down to a worrying degree.

you fall to your knees, cradled by simon, screaming and crying like you're the one dying, nails biting so hard into his arms over his jacket that he feels the sting of the open wound. he's never heard such a sound from you before. and simon has to admit... he wants to scream at price too, for being so careless and foolish and letting johnny walk into danger when john knew how powerful markov was.

but simon lets you curse him out in his stead, gaz sitting on the floor with you, his cap by his side, only an finger's breadth from your reach if you need him.

you exhaust yourself with your tears. your throat is burnt raw, bile clinging to your throat. you're finally breathing in some semblance of normality, but simon can feel how all the strength has left you, nothing more than a shell of the fox they knew.

john takes it in stride. it's the least he can do, really.

"'m so sorry, love," he says, his own voice clogged with tears and remorse, and you have to bite your tongue until you taste blood so you don't lash out at him from the pet name, from further bringing him down because you know he's hurting too. "it should've been me," he adds on.

you're not sure if he meant for you to hear that. but you did.

"yeah," you finally bite out, refusing to look at him, still cradled in simon's arms and staring blankly at kyle's shoes, "it should've."

ahhhh let me tell you something.

i love. love. love. using the mw3 ending to ruin the au's i write about. im gonna change some stuff because there's not enough pain here.

ooooh, you don't look at john when tell him to get the fuck out.

you don't give a damn if he's hurting too, that's his cross to bear. he can keep his fucking tears, his apologies, his remorse.

should've would've could've isn't real. it doesn't exist.

should've been john. but it wasn't.

would've traded places with johnny if he could. but he can't.

could've done something different in the mission to prevent this, but he didn't.

john got hasty, desperate— and it cost him dearly. or at least, you wish it did. because it certainly cost you everything.

and when you ask him if makarov is at the very least dead for what he's done, john says no— he slipped through their fucking fingers.

...

your vision goes red, and you swear that if it wasn't for simon and kyle holding you down, you'd fucking kill him.

and it infuriates you further when you realize that john doesn't even flinch when you snap your jaw at him. he just stands there like the pathetic waste of space he is— almost like he wants you to rip his throat out with your teeth.

your anger dies away at that thought.

no. death's far too good of a cop-out for him. he deserves to live with his consequences.

that'll be his punishment.

"get the fuck out, price, and never come show your face here again."

when he doesn't move, you scream at him again, out out out out out OUT until your throat is scraped raw, and you can taste copper in the back of your tongue.

you spit at price— a thick glob of pink by his boots and tell him that he'll never meet the babe growing in your womb.

when you hear the front door softly click shut, you lean your head on simon's shoulder and hoarsely ask him if johnny suffered in the end.

'no. it happened in an instant, pet.'

the tears that damped simon's jacket are bittersweet.

at least there's that.

once simon puts you to bed, he starts packing away your favorite toys and pretty, little collars.

he still has a promise to keep.

and now, a baby to help raise.

#petplay!au #141 pets

[notsofunsenpai]

This is part 3 ,but it works out as a oneshot as well so no one misses out on what happens!:D

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Alastor was woken up by soft sniffles along being gently shooked awake by little hands,if he was in a deep sleep he wouldn't have felt it,he opens one eye to see his daughter crying,"What is it honey?" He asked groggily,trying to wake up some.

"Bad dweamm dada.." she sobs as Alastor is now fully up,he take her in his arms, holding her close along with rubbing her back,"It's okay,you're safe, darling.." he said, hugging her,glancing at the time that read five in the morning. "You can stay in here for a bit." He said,wanting to lay back down. Charlie happily babbles,nuzzling against her father, who lays back down with her,putting the blanket over them. Alastor closes his eyes for what feels like a few seconds,ending up falling back to sleep. Charlie, who was still awake, moved off of her father,going to her mwama, who was dead asleep. She stares at him and then playfully smacks the blonde in the face,earning small groans from him. She giggles as she then pokes his chubby cheeks repeatedly before jumping on him,hearing an oof sound from him along with some movements from under the covers for him to look at her.

"Good morning, Charlotte..." he says half awake.

"Charlie!" The young blonde said, puffing out her cheeks as she playfully jumps on Luficer again.

"Okay.. im up..." he raspyly said, sitting up,hugging his daughter.

"It's so early.." he said, looking at the clock,"Why are you up?" He asked,thinkin that her sleeping schedule is gonna be fucked.

"Monsters!" She says.

"I thought i spray them away."

"Bathroom."

"I didn't spray there.. I'll do it later on." He said,truth be told there was no monsters he knows no one dares try to break into their home if they have a death wish, so to ease her worries he always spray some air freshner to make it seem like he scare the scary monsters away.

"Come on kiddo- wait did you wake your dad up?" Lucifer asked,hopefully he could hand Charlie over to his partner so he could sleep.

"Wake me up and you're a dead man love." Alastor says suddenly.

"Damn." Lucifer pouts,"Let me make breakfast for you and Char Char then.." he said,leaning over to the night stand to get his white robe and tying it around his scarred body,he was already wearing duck pajamas bottoms. He still havent gotten his other pjs out of the dryer yet so this will do,he picks his daughter up,"Do you want anything love?" He asked his partner.

"Peace and quiet. "

"Starve."

"You're always a terrible cook." Alastor replied back.

"Hey!.. so mean." He then gets up with Charlie in his arms,leaving the room he goes to the kitchen along with turning on the living room and kitchen lights so he doesnt trip over things again. He sits Charlie in her high chair,he goes into the fridge to get her some juice,"I'm making oatmeal this morning." He said, handing her sippy cup filled with apple juice. Charlie immediately starts drinking her juice,it's her favorite..or was it orange juice? She didnt know,they were both tasty to her.

Lucifer started making oatmeal the ones that you can just add water then microwave under 3 minutes,once it's done he tasted it to make sure it wasnt to hot for Charlie.

"Hey!!"

"I was just checking the temperature, I wasn't gonna eat it." Lucifer defended himself,setting the bowl in front of her as he happily puts her hands in the bowl and eating.

"You have a spoon for a reason.." he said as he watches her make a mess with the oatmeal.

Lucifer goes into one of the cabinets to get another bowl out and pour himself some cereal,he took the spoon Charlie was supposed to use for himself,and sat down next to her as he eats his dry cereal,realizing at the last second they need milk and two that he eating dry cereal..

He ate it like a champ,not minding it. He thought the spoon was an overkill when he could just use his hands.

Guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

He was quick to finish his cereal, and he got up and put it into the sink as he got himself a bottle of water from the fridge and drank it.

Charlie was now playing with the small amount of food she had,Lucifer decided she was done and took the bowl from her as he finished off the rest by using his hand,eating the remaining oatmeal. He then puts her bowl in the sink along with washing his hands,"Come on, charlie, let's get you ready since you are fully awake." He said taking her out of the high chair,as she holds onto him,getting oatmeal onto his robe. He takes her to the bathroom where he helped her brush her teeth along with washing her up some,brushing her unkept hair along with dressing her up. She was wearing a red deer onesie with the feet being little black paws and on the backside a small red deer tail with white underneath can be seen. "Im papa!!" She beams,practically jumping up and down.

"Yes you are sweetly." He smiles,it was a habit for Alastor and Lucifer to dress Charlie up as their loved one,for an example when Charlie was first born Lucifer had put a deer beanie onto her along with a red onsies as she sleeps. He did it at first because laundry wasn't done at the time but ending up liking the idea and thought it would be cute,another reason is that he didn't want his girl to end up forgetting about them or hating them for some reason.

Alastor thought it was cute and funny so he kinda just went along with it,not really questioning Lucifer.

"Imma let you play for a bit,then after play time we gotta go to the store for some stuff."

"Oki!!" Charlie said practically running out the door.

"I hope she doesnt make a mess." He said smiling softly,as he quickly brushes his teeth along with brushing his hair,whicing ended up more poofyier than normal because he didn't want to wet or do anything with it.

He passed Charlie's room to see her talking on her toy landline,he smiles at her before going to his shared room to get dressed.

He opens the closet,going through it just picking out something to wear which he picks out blue jeans and a white shirt. "Do you need anything from the store love?" He asked,taking the robe off,showing off his scars once more before putting the shirt on. The scars were old,the ones that were on his upper arms that the shirt hid were when he went through depression. He doesn't like to talk much about it because it'll make him cry and he wants to be strong for his family.

"Get me the ingredients for jambalaya,we're having that for dinner tonight, please. I've been craving it but haven't gotten around to it." Alastor said awake,he knows he won't go back to sleep.

"Okay." Lucifer then goes over to him and kisses him," Always So beautiful when you wake up,i love you."

Alastor who felt like a zombie lets his lover kiss him. He's usually a morning person, but lately, he's been sleeping later than usual. He feels fingers run through his messy red hair, then the feeling of his ears being scratched,he leans into the touch,smiling softly.

No matter how many times Lucifer touches Alastor's ears, he always loved how soft they were. "I'll be an hour,think you can survive without me ?"

"Definitely. " The other remarks.

"Supposed to say no -"

Alastor laughs,making the blonde puff out his cheeks,"Fine, see if i care." He said, leaving the room.

Alastor counting backward from three ,"three..two..one"

Lucifer pokes his head out from the other side of the door,"Do you really mean that?" He asked,giving him his puppy dog eyes.

Alastor softly sighed,"No, i don't mean that,I'll miss you."

"Okay, good. You better." He said before going back to Charlie.

The radio demon smiles,"That's my idiot. " he softly says to no one but himself.

Lucifer gets Charlie, who reluctantly stopped playing to go to the store. She loves adventure and helping out as much as she can. He puts her in her red car seat,making sure she's buckled up, then gets inside of the red Kia Forte, then drives to the store. Charlie had her own little steering wheel. That way, she could drive along with her mama, too.

"Vroommm!" Charlie says,hitting her little horn while turning the wheel constantly,"Wook, I'm drivin!!"

"I'm very proud of you,you're an amazing driver, hon." Luficer smiles at his daughter through the mirror's view as they soon arrive at the store.

#hello tumblr #no proofreading we die like men #hazbin hotel lucifer #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel #appleradio #radioapple #soft alastor #soft lucifer #little charlie #charlie morningstar #lucifer morningstar #my writting

[w1nters0ldier20]

I’ll give up everything just to find you.

Stucky fic🤍

A/N : this is my first fic so if its bad im srry😭

Warnings — angst, happy ending, language, a slur(I CAN SAY),

Steve was panicking, shaking and every scared action you could possibly imagine. Bucky, his bucky had just got shot and taken by HYDRA. Steve had screamed “NO!” As he was forcefully taken back to the hellhole he had just escaped. But steve didn’t give up he started to chase the car down, but it was too late and too fast. He fell to his knees and sobbed.

Natasha walked over”steve..” steve shushed her”i don’t wanna hear it” he said in choked out sobs, “we’ll find him steve, come on back to the jet and lets get you healed.” Natasha replied and steve wobbled back to the jet crying into Natasha. “it’s my fault”he says in muffled sobs. “No, no steve it isn’t, its gonna be ok we’re going to find him” she says emphasizing the word going.

—

Bucky’s POV:

He woke up in a panic, breathing heavily as he slowly came back to reality realizing where he was. His mind overwhelmed with thoughts “nonono please no” “is steve ok?” “Is everybody captured” “fuck not again please..” he cried silently as these thoughts rushed over him. “If it isn’t the winter soldier.. back to reclaim your place?” The HYDRA agent spat. “First of all, im not the winter soldier anymore. I’ve changed, moved on, and hell i even found a fucking boyfriend. Secondly you forced me to be here you asshole.” Bucky spat back as the HYDRA agent smirked

“Still feisty aren’t ya?good you need a little fire to ignite the soldier”the agent chuckled as Bucky was paralyzed in fear. “Oh steve.. please please find me”

Steves POV:

Nonstop work. “Gotta find him, gotta find my buck”his mind screamed as he tried to find every HYRDA location. 2 days, 2 fucking days since Bucky was shot and captured and it had been all his fault. He was in sobs and practically murdered with guilt. Tony walks in to see him sobbing trying to find clues to as where Bucky went. “Hey cap.. it’s 4am, get some rest i’ll continue for now until you wake up.”tony says sadly”you’ve been at this nonstop let me help.”he trys to smile. “Thanks tony, but you really dont have too, i got this.” He says, his voice husky and barely there since the screaming and crying. Even so he fakes a smile.“Fine, if you don’t want to leave me to it lemme help cap.”tony sits down and starts to help pinpoint locations”

—

Buckys POV:

“Ready to comply?” The HYDRA agent says with a clenched jaw. “Nope.” Bucky chuckles emphasizing the p. The agent punches him again, “say no again see what happens faggot.” He scoffs at Bucky as bucky spits out blood.

The agent leaves the room and Bucky’s mine rushes over thoughts of steve and their last conversation.

“Lost your game buck?” Steve laughs playfully at him.”you wish Stevie” as buck throws a snowball at steve but misses again.”oh you have.”steve throws a snowball and hits Bucky in the chest.” Oh im so getting you back for that doll”he smirks

He would do anything to go back to that right now.

—

Steves POV:

“Oh my god tony, we did it” he sobs, “thank you. Thank you so much” he cries happily”im going now, i cant wait till morning.” He sniffles as tony snaps back”woah slow your roll you need to sleep first and eat AND get ahold of yourself before you go sweetheart” he looks at steve concerned, “ill eat and drink but im not sleeping till i see my Bucky again.” So tony takes that and makes him waffles and gives him water.”here we come Bucky..” his mind races with happy thoughts of getting him back

“So when can we go?” Steve says as he finishes his meal, all the avengers awake and ready to go get Bucky away from those stupid HYDRA agents. “Now i guess, right guys?” Natasha says trying to boost the mood. “Alright lets go”clint says smiling softly

—

Buckys POV:

“Your fuckin dead, you hear me? dead.” As he slaps bucky another time. His face is full of bruces and cuts. 10 minutes ago, atleast he thought it was ten minutes ago, Bucky spit 3 times on the hydra agent and now he’s taking his anger out on him, he swears hes gonna pass out or die or anything. “Steve..” he says before passing out.

—

Steves POV:

They are trying to sneak around the agents of HYDRA, “goddamn they have this place well guarded.. gotta hand it to the bastards” tony states,”shame we have to kick they’re ass!” Steve says before running out dodging bullets left and right beating them up fiercely with his fists, feet & his sheild

“Well fuck.” Natasha curses before running out to help him, “always running on impulse” she mutters under her breath laughing. “Im going in.” Steve states on the comms

“Bucky, oh Bucky where are you..” he whispered as hydra agents bombarded him with bullets(of course his shield blocked them). Steve starts to beat them off one by one, asking “wheres bucky?” To all of them, which none answered as they just replied”hail HYDRA”as they died

He runs until he sees a cell, and he sees.. bucky. Bloody, bruised and hopefully asleep or passed out. Steve runs inside breaking down the cell, that wakes bucky up.” Please sir no more..” he wakes up realizing its steve, “oh my god doll” he says as a tears slide down his face”i got you buck im here baby, can you walk?” Steve says as he breaks the refinements off him. “I think..” bucky wobbles but eventually starts to walk with steve, “need a gun?”steve chuckles as Bucky nods. Steve hands him a gun as they start beating the shit out of agents.

“Fuckkk yea! Revenge bitches!” Bucky screams as he shoots them. “Lets get out of here buck.” As they start to run to the jet. “We’re in the jet, make your way back” steve says to the comms.

—

Bucky’s POV:

“I missed you Stevie..” he purrs in Steve’s ear and kisses him, steve kisses him back and giggles, “how did you.. prevent the winter soldier thing you know?” He asks, “oh its not in “programming” anymore i guess” Bucky replies, “no more questions though just shut up and kiss me before they get back” he smiles and kisses him and it turns into a make out session “fuck Bucky..”steve whimpers, as if the worst timing the rest of the avengers start to come into the jet. “Get a room you animals, it hasn’t even been 5 minutes and you to are getting down dirty in the jet” tony remarks scoffing, “yea whatever grandpa” bucky snorts and kisses steve one more time, “oh yea, back of the jet now we need to clean these up” as he eyes the bruises on his face.“Finee” bucky sighs and walks to the back of the jet,

Oh how happy he was to be home.

—

A/n : AHHH I FEEL LIKE THIS IS A GOOD LENGTHED FIC?? For a first timee pls lmk if you like it!! :3 the title was based off an evanescene song!! Love her songs sm❤️also pls lmk how to see a word count😭 i cannot find it

#steve rogers #the winter soldier #bucky barnes #captain america #tony stark #natasha romanoff #clint barton #marvel #stucky #steve rogers fanfic #bucky barnes fanfiction

[getsojaded]

non refundable vii | calum hood

a/n: hello & happy new year!! wishing you all the best for 2023. this part is a tad short but i know i kind of left the last little bit on a cliffhanger(-ish) and it’s been a whiiiileee since i updated this so i hope u guys enjoy :)) mwah xo

—

Unlocking the door to their shared hotel room, he’s expecting a sleeping Y/N in their bed. But his heart drops once he realizes that there’s nobody in there but their suitcases.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, where did she go?” He whispers to himself, checking the closets and washroom just in case she was hiding. Nobody there. He starts to panic, and runs out of the hotel room and into the elevator, violently pressing the main lobby’s button.

“Can’t this shit go any faster?!” He exclaims, banging his fist on one of the walls of the elevator. After what felt like centuries, the elevator doors opened. Running out and towards the front desk, the workers are quite confused and scared as to why the six foot man with fear written all over his face is rushing to them.

“Have you seen a girl about this tall, wearing glasses? She’s not in our hotel room and I have no idea where she went.” He asks the two women at the desk, out of breath.

“I saw a girl in a green hoodie with glasses leave about an hour ago. She was crying, and I asked her what was wrong and if she needed any help. She said that she got into an argument with her boyfriend, and that she’s going to go look for him. I was going to ask her for her number in case he - I mean - you - came back but she ran off before I could say anything.” She responds.

Green hoodie. Empathy hoodie. That’s his Y/N she’s describing. “Do you have any idea where she went?!” He asks, extremely stressed out, running his fingers through his hair. “No sir, I’m sorry.” And that’s all it takes for Calum to run out of the hotel lobby, into the crisp Japan air.

He has no idea where to start looking for her, but then comes to the realization that he had never turned on his phone.

from m’girl x

calum where are you

it’s late and ur wandering in a city that ur not from at 2 am

im freaking out

baby please

im sorry

i love you too i love you so fucking much i’m sorry just please come back to the hotel

i’m so sorry

His shaking hands click on her contact, bringing his phone up to his ear. The rings are deafening as she doesn’t pick up with each ring. He’s about to end the call and try again, but she picks up on the last ring. “C-Cal?”

He feels a weight come off his shoulders once he hears her voice. “Y/N, baby, where are you?!” His voice cracks, trying to keep his tears at bay. “I-I’m lost. I went to go look for you, b-but I went too far and I d-don’t know where I am. I’m sitting at, I’m sitting at a bench at a p-park, I was waiting here in c-case you’d pass by,” She chokes out in between her sobs, and with each cry, she cuts out a little piece of Calum’s heart. “I love you, Cal. I’m s-so sorry. Please come get me.”

“Send your location, my love. I’m coming, okay? Stay right there, I’m on my way,” His shaky breath responds as he receives a notification from Y/N, sending her current location. “M-my phone’s about to die, Cal please hurr-” and the line cuts off, indicating that her phone is now dead. “FUCK!” he yells out, about to make a run to the location she was currently at. But he stops in his tracks once he hears a petite voice call out for him. “Sir, sir!” He turns around to see one of the ladies at the front desk, holding up a pair of car keys. “I’m not supposed to do this, but it’s really late and you need to find your girlfriend. Take this car, and just park it back where it was before when you get back.” He runs over to the small employee, giving her a hug and thanking her for her help, before getting into the driver's seat and flooring it to her location.

What’s supposed to be a ten minute drive turns into a three minute drive from the speed Calum’s going at, beating every red light he can and not bothering to stop at stop signs. Once he arrives at the park, he doesn’t bother to turn off the car as he puts it in park and runs towards the benches.

“Y/N?!” his broken voice calls out, eyeing each bench with no girl in sight. But there she was, at the last bench, in the green empathy hoodie, knees tucked into her chest, her head looking down.

Her head peeks up at the sound of her name, and sees Calum running towards her. She gets up from her seat and runs as fast as her legs can take her, collapsing into his arms as he holds her as tightly as he can. “I’m so sorry, Calum.” She sobs out, her small body shaking against his as he sways their bodies back and forth. “It’s okay, it’s okay. I love you, it’s okay. Let’s go back, it’s okay.”

The drive back to the hotel was silent, aside from their breaths from crying. Once he had parked the car in its designated spot, the two of them walk back into the hotel lobby hand in hand. Both eyes bloodshot red, with tears staining their whole faces and tired bodies. Calum walks towards the two workers, giving back the car keys. “Thank you so much,” He whispers to them, the two ladies nodding in response. “We’re glad you found her. Take it easy tonight, you two.”

Although Y/N’s confused, she gives the workers a nod and a smile before they both walk into the elevator. She’s clutching onto his arm, leaning her head on his shoulder. She’s afraid if she loosens her grip anymore, he’ll be out of her reach, for good this time.

Calum and Y/N are throwing their arms around each other the moment they unlock the door and kick their shoes off. Just when Y/N thought her tears were over for the night, her uncontrollable sobs are the only thing you hear in their room.

They’re tired, they’re in pain, and they’re in love. As the heavy breathing and sniffles arise, they can’t do anything else but hold each other tighter, making up for the months they weren’t able to have each other close.

“I love you, Cal. I’m so sorry.” She whispers. “I didn’t mean to get lost. I just wanted to find you because I was so worried and you weren’t responding and-“

“Hey, none of that. I’m sorry I even left in the first place. I should’ve let you know where I am and that I was okay. You were just looking out for me, and I love you so much for that.” Calum cuts off Y/N’s rambling. She looks up at him, and he wonders how she still manages to be the most beautiful girl he’s ever laid his eyes on — even when there’s tears streaming down her face.

She takes his face in her hands and presses her lips into his, giving him the long awaited kiss he’s been dying for since the moment they arrived. He immediately deepens the kiss, nostalgia, love, and everything in between hitting the both of them all at once. Calum can’t help but slip his tongue in her mouth, and his knees almost buckle at her little whimper of a reaction.

They’ve missed this, God they’ve missed this so much and they’ve never wanted anything more than to be in this moment — holding one another after months of yearning for each other.

Y/N pulls away to catch her breath, Calum’s grip tightening on her waist. She can’t help but giggle at the sudden grabs at her hips, Calum pecking her lips once more. “Can’t let you walk out again, baby.” He jokes, moving his hands up to her face to wipe away her tears.

As Y/N’s about to speak, she lets out a big yawn, and looks at the time right after. “Holy shit, 3 am,” she sighs, walking towards the bed and getting under the covers. “You gonna come join me?” She asks, resulting in Calum immediately jumping into the empty spot next to her, as she snuggles into his side. He wraps his arm around her body, giving her a soft kiss on the forehead.

“It’s been a long day, we need sleep,” she groans, placing her hand on his chest. “Talk tomorrow?”

She feels Calum’s head nod against her body. “A lot to unpack tomorrow. We need all the rest we can get.” He responds, her humming in response. “Goodnight, Cal.” she softly says.

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

“And Cal?”

“Yeah?”

“I never stopped loving you, either.”

—

taglist — @someinsanefangirl @lucyjafari @i-s-a-b-e-l-l-a-o @valesnicks @juhvette @perfctcalum @bohemianhargrove @fobodob @wldflwrbby @wiiildflowerrr @fangirl-candy @asmilinghopefullromantic @jazzymariexoxoc @caramelcalum @imightcry-blog @leomoonbaby @dreaded-awakening @mytlrh @noraskaar @sonoma @sunkissedruel @rafeyybabyy @soomanybands @dasguccier

#5 seconds of summer #5sos imagine #ashton irwin #ashton irwin imagine #calum hood #calum hood imagine #luke hemmings #michael clifford #michael clifford imagine #5sos #5 seconds of summer imagine #calum hood angst #luke hemmings angst #michael clifford angst #ashton irwin angst #calum hood fluff #luke hemmings fluff #michael clifford fluff #ashton irwin fluff #5sos forever #5 seconds of summer angst #5 seconds of summer fluff

[player1064]

June 2004

WIP asks but it's just the various sections of my happy (???) beville (/angsty carraville) WIP

ngl this section might not make it into the final cut not bc I don't like it but bc now that I've done a couple of becks pov sections I feel like this one might work better with becks' pov than with gary's.... but we shall see

---

June, 2004.

David’s entire career has been built around set pieces, around people saying that there’s no-one they’d rather have on a dead ball than him. Always the one to step up for corners, always the first name on the list of penalty-takers.

So he struggles, when a game ends like this.

“It’s not your fault,” Gary tells him, over and over again. Even though they both know that it is. “It’s England, innit? Penalty curse an’ all that.”

David doesn’t seem to hear him, or maybe he’s ignoring Gary’s obvious bullshitting. He just sits on the bed, curled in on himself and staring at his hands as he methodically cracks each knuckle.

He’s not crying. Gary almost wishes he would, thinks it might be easier to offer comfort to his partner when he’s not so trapped inside his own head, spinning round and round until it makes him sick. If they were in England they’d be at the training grounds right now, stood on the pitch in the middle of the night with David saying just one more kick, Gaz, I have to get it through this hoop. And again – can’t do it just once, might be a fluke. One. Two. Three. Perfect. And again. I need to do the run-up from a different angle, at a different pace. Again. Again.

Gary wonders if anyone in Madrid would’ve done that for him, stood out there freezing in the dark for hours at a time, just watching, waiting. Let him tire himself out, then take him home and put him to bed and tell him it’s not his fault, it’s not his fault, it’s not his fault.

No training pitches here, though, and no chance of sneaking out when the city’s still up celebrating Portugal’s win.

He sits himself behind David, pulls him back to rest against his chest. David still doesn’t say anything, but after a moment he feels some of the tension start to leave his body.

“Becks,” he says quietly, “you’ve played much worse games than this. Let’s blame Ronaldo, eh? The Portuguese one, I mean. Obviously. The Brazilian one wouldn’t be playin’ in the Euros, would ‘e? Fuck me, that’s gonna get confusing.” He’s aware that he’s starting to ramble, but his brain is itching to fill the silence so there’s not much he can do to stop it. “Let’s call ‘im Cristiano, that’s easier. He’s insane, Becks, honestly. I’ve never seen someone play like that me whole life, it’s – there’s no winning, against him. So let’s blame him, and then when we go on pre-season tour and you meet him proper you can speak to ‘im with all that Spanish you’ve been learnin’.”

“They don’t speak Spanish in Portugal,” Becks says hoarsely, like it’s an effort just to get the words out.

“Do they not?” This would explain why Gary’s not had much luck with the Spanish to English dictionary he’s been keeping in his locker. “Tha’s weird.”

The corner of David’s mouth ticks up a fraction. “You’re pretty,” he murmurs, stealing the line Gary normally reserves for when David’s not understanding whatever he’s explaining (ranting about) to him.

Gary sighs. “Home tomorrow,” he says, reaching for one of David’s hands to give it a squeeze. “Mum and Trace said your stuff’s got back alright, so at least we won’t have to deal with all that unpacking nonsense when we get in.”

“Home.” David smiles properly this time, tilts his head back to look up at Gary. “I’m comin’ home.”

“That you are. You spoken to the Boss at all?”

“A bit. Think we’re gonna be alright. Can’t believe fuckin’ Carlos is coming back too, can I not ever get a break from him?”

#this section brought to you by 'gary is stupid too' understanders #beville #wip asks

[mycomori]

the anti zionism = anti semitism laws just passed by the us house of reps is fuckin terrifying and i hate it so much and the worst part it is, aside from palestinian americans, if will overwhelmingly effect american jews protesting the use and equation of their religion to the war crimes of the zionist regime of israel. this law will put palestian americans and their allies protesting the genocide of their people at risk just as equally as the jews around the world protesting the zionist state of israel and their utter disgrace to the jewish faith. zionism is a disgrace; an utter spit in the face of the jewish faith, and yet they have the audacity to cry anti semitism when someone criticizes their over a half century of war crimes. when jewish people around the world from leaders to casual observers agree this is a fucking disgrace and it’s disgusting and anti semetic to equate the zionist state of israel w the jewish faith. that’s the kinda shit neo nazis want. they want to paint the jewish people as nothing it war criminals and use israel as a so called example. when really all israel is yet another demonstration of the united states control in other countries and purposefully keeping them unstable through consistent colonial expansion and us backed support of these so called governments. they’re scared of the internet, just like they’ve always been scared of knowledge. because knowledge is power and they rely on ignorance and desperation and keeping people in such poverty they don’t have the energy to focus on anything else. we’ve proven we can make a difference. that’s what scared so many people in the filling class about the pandemic. everyone was out of work so they actually had time to think as process and feel and act on their beliefs. it’s what they hate it’s what they do their god damn best to surprise and guess what thinking it at all is an affront to them. fuck them. i grew up in the catholic church. i know better than anyone how deeply the depravity runs. our country is brain washed so deeply we can’t even recognize it cause it’s been goin on for so many years. the world hates and laughs at us for fully understandable reason. we hate and laugh along too. except we’re stuck here. cause our parents or grandparents though the us was a place to prosper. a place they could escape their decades of poverty. but it didn’t turn out dod it? if i was my nonni id be a pissed ass ghost. all that work to give your kids a better life and it’s just more bullshit and suffering. fuck it am i right? if i could talk to nonno and nonni as teenagers now i would be lost forever speaking a them. i never even met nonno armando. but i wish i could. i’ve always wished i could. if i click ahve super power it would be to speak with the dead. nothing much else just sit down and converse w them and pass along messages between them and the living. i would hope someone would do that for me once im dead too. but its sad innit. we’re a sad sad sad family. we all suffered and continue to suffer so much. but the living of us push forward despite it all. hit it sucks. it fucking sucks. to mourn both the dead and the living. to mourn at all. it breaks my mind.

[livawritesshit]

Ink Demon! X Selv Preservative Reader!

Gender isnt really implied but i imagined it to be , AFAB Think whatever makes you happy!

Like He tries to manipulate you and make you do stuff you dont want to and shit and you finally have enough and tell him off

Slight Angst? Crying Swearing Violence Slight fluff , The ink demon wants you to be his partner in his hell of a domain lol, but you dont want to knowing nothing would come out of it , slight manipulation? But it doesn’t even get that far

It was yet another day in the ink demons lair, just as depressing and empty as all the other times he would make me sit in here , im tired of this shit! He keeps trying to make me do his work it all leads to nothing anyway . Every. Single. TIME. I hear something outside ,splashes outside the wall , hes back .. you have to be fucking kidding! I hurriedly , scribble Down on the paper i found last Time i escaped for a little bit , writing on it saying i had left and i domt ever want to see him again, perfect! I slide it where i was previously sitting , i hurry over to my makeshift hiding spot behind the film tapes, as i Peek out , noticing him Enter the room , he looks around for a moment before growling , is he angry? He notices the paper and picks it up , there goes a few seconds before he lets out a Roar and hurriedly leaves , supposedly to find me . im not even sure why hes so obsessed with me .. im not That special theres Audrey and uhh Alice ,

oh no! Alice is a bitch! , i sit for a moment before Looking if he were to come back, and sure as hell he did , he was thrashing slightly , his ink seemed more liquid as if he were panicing . Serves him right! I Watch on as he searched around not even thinking i would ever hide under his Old tapes , if he were to find me now he would for sure kill me.. then he lets out that damn .𝑾𝒉𝒊𝒎𝒑𝒆𝒓. It makes my heart ache every time , i hesitate hiding for Long , he sounded so pained.. no i cant! hes just trying to manipulate me .. nothing special ! he keeps whining and whimpering , looking around before laying Down on the floor by where i previosly had sat nuzzling?… his head against Where im guessing my warmth was slightly lingering , he whimpered and whined constantly most likely trying to make me leave my spot ,

maybe some minutes passed? Time is crazy Down here.. before he Got up slowly walking off . I wait and he doesnt return , i quickly get up from my spot making sure to be quiet , before sprinting off , Freedom! I make Way to heavenly toys , before getting away . Alice was gonna kill me! Most likely after last time.”where can i hide?..” whispering to myself , a few miracle boxes were nearby , thats great! . I walk over to a door ,

𝘛𝘩𝘶𝘥 .. 𝘛𝘩𝘶𝘥. as my heart rate goes up and thoose voices tell me tp hide yet again whenever im near him, i run off to a miracle box slamming the door shut , as i wait inside, i can hear him , 𝘏𝘦 𝘏𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘮𝘦.. Thats not good.. I hear him run as he stops in front of the door clawing at it growling , I hold my breath . He stops and leaves , as I huddle closer to the wall , if theese miracle boxes didn’t exist I would have been dead long ago..

I wanted to stay in the miracle box and never leave .. i was safe.. for once in this hell of a studio, he was so obsessed with me.. didnt he have Audrey to chase around ? She was a danger! Not me i just sat around .. “that fucking demon..” i felt anger rise , i could feel my vision go blurry remebering audreys sweet face and voice and little Bendy . Not the hell of a a demon hes become now. He was so silly and never wanted to hurt anyone.. he just wanted someone who loved him .. not like joey that fucking bitch! If hes alive ill strangle him and rip out his eyes , i clawed at the Walls , as tears streamed Down my face , i just cant help it , i just wish i had never taken that job offer! I punched the wall , effectively making my hand hurt like hell , “fuck!” I wanted to scream , why does this happen to me! , i knew he could hear me , i cant give a shit . It would be better to die and be free from this everything Down. Here is trying to kill me left and right anyway! , he was coming and he had heard me. Fuck”im so fucking stupid i need to calm Down and Think!” I whispered to myself , he was banging on the door clawing at it, doing whatever he could to possibly harm the door , he whimpered like a puppy. He had made a few small dents but the door never budged, he was whining now , low growls as he tried to get in , the door was creaking like hell , almost as if begging for him to stop , he never .. did stopping for moments before coming back with more agressive attacks, the door slightly moved i could almost hear him smile , as he was practically going on feral on the door , it moved again one of the hinges coming off, i could hear him step back before launching his body against the door as it fell off and opened , revealing him standing there with that evil smile that was permanetly sketched onto his face ,

He walked over on all fours like a animal , i could feel his gaze on me like i was a delicious Chunk of Meat, he opened his mouth , closing my eyes i knew he was going to eat me , but the pain or teeth never came a Long forked tongue licked me , as i felt him Press his head against my chest , as if he wanted me to coddle?.. him , a deep PURR emiting from his throat like a growl , his head nuzzling against me , he had pushed himself on top of me like a dog wrapping his limbs around me , covering me in his ink as i struggled to get him off , he kept on licking me spreading his ink everywhere on my clothes and face , seemingly satisfied before grabbing the nape of my shirt dragging me off like i was a cat! “Let go of me! I didnt ask for this!” I struggled thrashing about to make it as difficult as possible before making him lose a grip on me , as i shook off his ink most of it falling off, he whined as he most likely knew i was about to run off again as he quickly grabbed me again to cover me in his ink yet again. “Stop doing that its disgusting! Ill smell like you and Audrey Will get scared!” He whimpered licking my face, ..“sᴏʀʀʏ“ he had to wheeze it out as if talking made his whole body burn in pain, yet i was dumbfounded that he talked , “what?..” i turned to him , his ink looked more solid then when i was gone , “please put me Down Bendy..” he didnt oblige until we came to his lair , making sure i couldnt escape as he Picked up the paper handing it to me before pointing with his claws to where i had wrote ,𝑰 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒔𝒆𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒊 𝒉𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖, saddening , he was trying to guilt trip me into staying in this hell hole? “Seriously you can’t fucking expect me to want to stay here! Or even see you again? You keep holding me prisoner ! Everything down here wants to fucking kill me left and right wherever I go something wants to rip off my head as if I killed their family with a butter knife! Especially you!” I point my finger at him accusingly , he growls “you used to be so sweet and generous , look at yourself you kill and slaughter. manipulate , nothing ever leaves you unscathed! Like Audrey ! Look at her now! you emotionally Tore her apart , nobody would want to stay here! Except you because you know you have nowhere Else to go where you wouldnt be called a fucking monster and you know it!” I hissed back at him surprised at my own tone , he didnt do anything , he just sat there , god the tension in the air was heavy.. “I’m not really sorry I know it’s all joeys fault but you make people fear you bendy… thats why they often most cases are so hostile fearing your there .. i cant do this and i dont get why you dont just kill me , you just bring me back here everytime .. i Dont want to be here” his head lifted slightly , his gaze was pointed at me , “why do you keep me here?..” he sat up moving closer to me , i slightly moved back earning a whine from him, he kept moving closer and i kept moving back , until i hit a wall , he was gurgling something? Ink spilling off him as if he were crying , “.. ʀᴀʀᴀɢғʜᴀ.. ʟʀᴀᴠᴀ.. ʟᴏᴠᴇ.. ʜʀᴀʀɢᴀʜ ᴍɪɴᴇ..“ he was reaching out for me with his clawed hand , i shook my head , “Bendy i couldnt love you even if you werent like this.. you keep me stuck like a prisoner , you made me seperate from Audrey.. we aren’t the same species so it couldn’t work ..I’m sorry I can’t love you with all Theese barriers in the way .. “ he seemed to gurgle as his hand stopped returning to him as he sat on the floor across from me his ink spilling rapidly but recollecting onto him , he 𝑾𝒂𝒔 crying..?, he didnt make a single Sound except his ink falling and recollecting onto him , a whimper left him as he turned and left , ok that made me feel like shit but i cant handle that i cant love him. Even if he were to change … i scooped off some of his ink , looking at it for a moment before placing it on the floor , he had just left without a trace? , i need to find out what is his deal with all that? .. “Love?… mine..” something clicked, he wants me to be his mate..

As i sat there pondering, I had to make boundaries, if it were to EVER happen , he would kill me if he went on a rampage most likely.. the footsteps came ,he had returned as my heart rate and the voices arrived , but i didnt listen ,as he went into a corner of his lair , curling into a Ball his ink still pooling and reforming around him , i Got up walking over , “Bendy..?” I reached out to him stroking one of his horns , he purred before pulling away slightly , i had really upset him with what i Said.. “im sorry i was so harsh on you .. i just coudlnt help it , you wouldnt like it if joey just trapped you and made you stay all alone ..” he turned to me , before turning around to stand on Two legs , “Hello.. come sit with me wont you?” I patted in front of me , he hesitated it was obvious , he sat Down leaning his head towards me stopping to check if i would push him away, i wouldnt this time , he leaned in his head making contact with my lap , stroking his head , complete silence except his deep purrs , he was staring at me again , “Bendy .. listen to me okay?. If this would ever happen you would have to respect me , i dont want to do your job i am not a puppet for entertainment , i truly am flattered you would Think of me in that Way, but you need to stop manipulating me.im tired of it ..” he let out a slight whine as if to say sorry , he had moved his face up towards mine his hot breath on my face

He licked me once , as if to agree or maybe something else ? No idea , he bumped his forehead against mine , it’s slightly hurt since he was mostly solid “ow..”

He licked me again, I’m guessing he’s apologising , as he grabbed me , with such tenderness you would think it were a blanket but no it was the ink demon who was ruled to be feral aggressive, shows no mercy, yet here he was coddling me as if I would break , my neck was starting to hurt. Ow “please let me go i can walk by myself “he whimpered , he was trying to speak so I patiently waited “.. ɪ ᴄᴀʀᴇ .. ғᴏʀ . ʏ/ɴ ..” i Sighed”i know i know.. but please let me go . “ he obliged , as he sat and stared like a puppy , “your honestly like an animal.” He was gonna be a piece of work but ill make it work ..

ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴅ..

[v-cain]

I posted 405 times in 2022

That's 405 more posts than 2021!

63 posts created (16%)

342 posts reblogged (84%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@xofemeraldstars

@book-place

@bringinsexybackk69

@cas-kingdom

I tagged 79 of my posts in 2022

#supernatural - 9 posts

#sam winchester - 8 posts

#xmen - 7 posts

#dean winchester - 6 posts

#castiel - 5 posts

#moon knight - 5 posts

#criminal minds - 4 posts

#spn - 4 posts

#toothless!reader - 4 posts

#tumblr milestone - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 129 characters

#why isnt underlining a word an option?? i wanted to do that multiple times now and evry time i get stuck with the bold word thing

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

im not even 5 minutes into rewatching moonknight when i realized... if marcs mum is dead..does that mean he was writing steven postcards and leaving them their for him?

31 notes - Posted May 12, 2022

#4

"A Leap Of Faith"

Fandom: Xmen

Pairings: Logan Howlett x gn!teen!reader, Hank McCoy x gn!teen!reader, Scott Summers x gn!teen!reader, Kurt Wagner x gn!teen!reader, Jean Grey x gn!teen!reader, Jubilation Lee x gn!teen!reader

Warnings: Crying, Swearing, Alcohol, Implied Gore

A/N: holy fucking shit this took ages to make. so proud of it though!! the flying part was my favourite part to write, plus scott and logans relationship with the r.

----

"Ok, Scott, truth or dare?" Jean grins at Scott. He looks terrified, which you find hilarious, and he quietly says "Truth?" You look at him with your mouth agape "Damn, Summers, you've got some balls!" Scott rolls his eyes and looks over at Jean, Kurt and Jubilee discussing what they should ask- apparently your questions were 'too lame' so you got kicked. So rude.

Jubilee turns around suddenly and asks "Have you ever taken alcohol from Logans cabinet?" Scott quickly anwsers "Fuck no! I don't have a death wish!" You open your mouth to comment on that but Jubilee turns to you brightly and says "Y/N! Your turn! Truth or Dare?" You smirk, "Well, unlike Summers over here, I'm not a pussy. Dare." Scott threw his hands up in the air "What the fuck, dude?", and you promptly ignore him, instead intently staring at the group in front of you. (Scott got kicked out of the group too, because his dares were deemed too risky.)

After a solid 5 minutes, Kurt turns to you and says "We dare you to fly off the roof!" You instantly pale. "Guys, I'd wake the entire mansion up. Can't you think of something better?" you try reason, but Scott jumps in and quips "What, too much of a pussy?" You glare at him and he shrinks back a bit. "Oh, come on Y/N, it'll be fun! Besides, we've never seen you fly before!" Jubilee chines in.You feel your face start to heat up and your hands shaking.

All too quick, you stand up and stumble over an excuse of needing the bathroom. Jean frowns at you as you scurry out the room, opening her mouth to interfere but Scott has already started truth or dare again.

You rush down the halls, ignoring the looks of any onlooking students. You just wanted to get outside and sit in the garden, and cry a little bit, because of your stupid fucking-

Bam!

You whack into someone tall and stagger back a little, mumbling a small 'Sorry' and continuing on your way. You run over to your spot and finally break down. Tears stream down your face, and all you can think is 'Why did it have to be me? Why me?'  You curl up into a ball, your wings encasing you in a cold shell.

Why me?

----

Logan was walking down the halls after a very, very tiring day- also known as Hank used him as his 'assistant' in the lab. Personally he thought this was payback for drinking all the good whiskey, but hey, could you blame him? Anyway, as he thinks about how damn good that whiskey was, he slams into some kid. Taken aback, he looks down to see a very distraught Y/N, who quickly runs away. "What the fuck?" he mutters, immediately turning to follow them.

A good ten minutes of running to catch up with this kid pass, and Logan slows down as he approaches soft crying. He cautiously walks around the tree.

The snap of a tree branch makes you whip your head towards the noise and growl- only to start crying again once you realize it's just Logan. He awkwardly sits down beside you and wait for you to start talking.

Some time passes and your cries slowly quite down to just sniffles and the occasional hiccup. You rub your eyes and look over at Logan, who simply asks "What happened, kid?" You sigh and look at the ground for a moment, before pulling your tail halfway into your lap and stare at your missing fin. "When I first got my mutation, my parents weren't.." you pause and glance over for a moment "Well you can imagine how they'd react to their kid growing wings and a tail." Logan softly hums beside you.

"Anyway, they realized that I wouldn't be able to fly if I didn't have one of my fins, so they.." you trail off and stare at your tail. Logan takes a sharp intake and breaths out "Jesus, kid I'm sorry." You stare at your tail for another moment and continue "Me and the others were playing Truth or Dare and they dared me to fly off the roof. I didn't have the confidence to tell them I couldn't, so.." you vaguely gesture to the field surrounding you two. Logan is silent beside you, thinking deeply.

"Well," Logan starts "We could always talk to Hank about making prosthetic fin?". You turn and stare at him, prompting him to continue "Think about it. People get prosthetic hands and legs all the time, why would it be different for you? Just means Hank would have to make it and not some corporation." You start to process what he's saying- you could be able to fly! You grin at Logan who returns it immediately.

----

*Two Weeks Later*

----

After two weeks of Professor McCoy doing measurements and fitting prototype prosthetics on you, it's finally time. You're going to fly. Which sounds so much easier in your head.

You peer over the edge of the roof, cringing at how high you're up. You step back and weakly joke "Hey, if it doesn't work do I get a refund?" Professor McCoy huffed a laugh, and said reassuringly "Trust me, it's going to work." You hum and mutter under your breath "Yeah, like the last two did." Logan claps a hand on your back, "C'mon kid, it's just a leap of faith. The second you jump you'll be fine." You glance at him and step back again, rolling your shoulders back. It's just a leap of faith, that's all it is.

You take a deep breath, and take a running leap off the roof. For a moment you're plummeting towards the ground, wind blurring your eyes and whipping through your hair. Then you pull up your wings and suddenly you're soaring through the air, faster than light itself. You start laughing maniacally- you're fucking flying! You turn around and fly over Professor McCoy and Logan. You can just hear Logan yelling "Fuck yeah, kid!"

You pull yourself upwards into the clouds and slow down, admiring the view. You swoop down to the clouds and fly through them, soaking your clothes. Oops. You twirl around in the air, feeling free as can be.

Eventually you return to Logan and Professor McCoy, and you immediately hug the latter mumbling a "Thank you Professor." He smiles and returns the hug, responding warmly "No problem. Remember to tell me if you have any problems with it." He nods to Logan, and walks downstairs.

You grin at Logan, "Did you see me up there? I was so fast! I was in the fucking clouds, Logan! The clouds! And- and it was so cool! I was so cool!" Logan laughs at your excitedness, wrapping an arm around you as you continue to ramble about how awesome flying was and how you could bring him up there someday.

32 notes - Posted November 12, 2022

#3

"What The Fuck?"

Fandom: Xmen

Pairings: Logan Howlett x gn!teen!reader, mentioned Kurt Wagner x gn!teen!reader

Warnings: Swearing, Falling on your ass.

A/N: crack fic with minor foreshadowing ooh spooky. anyways theres a lil heartfelt moment in there cuz im a loser who likes heartfelt moments. enjoy. (lmk if i missed any warnings)

----

Last night, you got to spend your first night in your own room! This may not seem like huge thing to most, but when you've been sharing with a group of twelve year old boys..you loose your mind a bit.You sit up and stretch with a huge yawn. For once in your life, you've managed to get a peaceful nights sleep, which meant you could probably do something productive with your evening. You go to your dresser and choose a lovely f/c outfit that compliment your scales beautifully, and then walk to your door so you can go downstairs and eat some food. Maybe you would even do today's homework-

THUD

You stumble backwards, nearly falling on your ass. What the fuck? You try and walk forwards once again before you realize the problem: your wings. Sometimes your wings wouldn't fold if you kept them folded for too long, which has never proven to be a problem because you could always squeeze through the doors. This is apparently not the case in your new room. You stare at the door before trying to turn sideways and walk through the door- except your room wasn't big enough to turn fully with your wings expanded.

What the hell do you do? Do you yell for Kurt to get his ass in here and teleport you out? Or do you wait for Logan to realize you're not in class and go looking for you? You stand there for ages before eventually looking out the window. The stars were out tonight, which meant you would be able to convince Logan to skip class and look at the stars instead. If you could get out of your god forsaken room-

----

Logan sighed for what felt like the hundredth time this minute. Y/N was late for class by an hour, which by itself was unusual, but no one has seen Y/N all day- they usually at least try to leave their room during the morning. He gave up on waiting and decided to look for them- first thing first, their bedroom. They could've just overslept and are still tangled in about a million blankets (Logan commented that it looked like a nest, and Y/N's response had been "Fuckin' duh.")

He reached their room and knocked three times, and immediately heard an exasperated "Fucking finally! Open the door!" Clearly confused, Logan opened the door to reveal Y/N standing on their bed with their wings expanded, taking up most of the room. "Kid...what the hell happened?" the teen grinned at him and shrugged, simply responding "I got stuck here for two hours 'cause my wings wouldn't fold. Can you get Kurt to teleport me out?"Logan nodded and took one last glance at them before heading off to the end of the hall where Kurt was.

----

"..So, that's what happened to my wings earlier. It doesn't really hurt, but keeping them folded up all the time does." the teen said nonchalantly. Logan looked at them with a raised eyebrow, "You would think you would have the common sense to stretch them or, you know, fly, but I guess not." You shift uncomfortably and laugh a little " Yeah, I probably should stretch more often." The older man looks at you for a moment but decides to not comment on your wording.

The pair sits in silence for the next while, quietly admiring the stars. You look at Logan momentarily, wondering how different your life would be if you hadn't come to the school. You would probably be deep in a forest, far away from any civilisation. You wouldn't have your amazing friends, any good role models...you would be alone.

Thank fuck you're not.

34 notes - Posted November 11, 2022

#2

"Guard Dog"

Fandom: Xmen

Pairings: Charles Xavier x teen!reader, Hank Mccoy x teen!reader, Kurt Wagner x teen!reader, Scott Summers x teen!reader, Jean Grey x teen!reader, Jubilation Lee x teen!reader

Warnings: Bullying

A/N: this came to me months ago and now im cool enough to write it down. go follow my friends @book-place @bringinsexybackk69 (this is set when everyone other than the teachers are teens! ;] )

----

You drag yourself out of bed and lazily put on a hoodie, not even bothering to change out of your pajamas. Scott had convinced you to wake up at lunch time so you could eat with your friends, which would usually get a solid "Fuck no."...but there was a promise of chocolate chip cookies. So fucking up your sleep schedule it was!

Walking down the stairs, you catch a few staring eyes and shoot a glare at them. They immediately scramble away  much to your happiness.

You easily spot your friends under a tree and walk over to them, enjoying the afternoon you rarely get to see. Scott spots you and cheers "Sup Snow White!". You roll your eyes playfully "Oh hardy har har Summers." you sarcastically snark as you plop yourself down beside Kurt.

Everyone launches back into conversation, and you find yourself calmly smiling at the mess of a group you call family friends. Then, the fire nation attacked.

"Hey, freak! Did you force them to sit with you? Or do they just feel bad?" Your attention is turned to some random teen you've seen in passing- he was mocking your wings. Not a pleasant guy. Jean just rolls her eyes at him, while Kurt sits looking uncomfortable. Jubilee and Scott are glaring at him, and you're- well...

"Oi! Who the fuck do you think you're talking to?" you holler at him. This garners the attention of some nearby students who are now whispering to each other. The teen scoffs and rolls his eyes, "Oh, is this your little guard dog? How cute!" he mockingly coos. Your mind is racing a mile a minute but you keep yourself under control, and calmly walk over to him. The students are gathering closer now, curious to what's going to happen next.

The teen sizes you up and gets in your face, "You mad, doggy? What're gonna do about it? Bark?" You smile sweetly at him, and then swing you're tail underneath his legs. He immediately falls backwards but you catch to collar of his shirt and bring him close, "If you ever, and I mean ever" you bringing him closer "come near my friends again, I won't be here to catch you. Got it?" He nods vigorously. You smile sweetly and let him stumble backwards. "There's a good doggy." you mock as you turn back to your friends.

Sadly, the universe was not on your side, as Professor McCoy calls for you and the teen to follow him to the headmasters office.

...Well, shit.

----

School sucks, you think as you walk to the office. One moment you're defending your friend against some dickwad and the next you're being escorted to the headmasters office, which is complete bullshit! Sure Jean could handle herself on her own, but she shouldn't have to! Everyone deserves a friend who has their back. And maybe a little bit of your reaction was because you were sick of being treated like an animal, but who could blame you?

Before you realize, Professor McCoy is knocking on the Professors door- you wonder if they had to battle for who got the title of "The Professor"- and he opens it, closing it after the three of you are inside. Professor Xavier looks up blindly before a flash of recognition sparks in his eyes, so he sits up straighter and looks more serious. Glancing beside you, it looks like the teen (who's name you learn to be Doug) is playing the innocent lamb while you get the part of the Big Bad Wolf. Lovely.

"Can anyone care to tell me why you're here?" the Professor asks, looking between you two. Doug responds scarily quickly "Yeah, that asshole attacked me for no fucking reason!" Your eyebrows raise a bit- he couldn't have tried made his story a bit believable? The Professor sharply turns to him "Mr. Carol, I do not appreciate that tome of voice." Doug squirms a bit where he stands as the Professor continues "Now please, could you elaborate?"

Doug starts to tell a story how he was leaning against a tree reading a book, when you walked up to him and got up in his face and pushed him to the ground. Which is complete bullshit, but you wouldn't let that show. The Professor takes this in and the  turns to you, and tells you to recount your side of the story. You glance at Doug and start "Well, I was sitting with my friends, when Doug walked by and called Jean a freak. I got mad at him and shouted at him, so he called me a dog multiple time, so I told him to leave me and my friends alone and went to sit back down- that was when Professor McCoy interfered.

Doug glares at me while the Professor frowns. He exchanged glances with the other professor who come to some sort of silent agreement. "It seems clear who is in the right. Doug, you will attend detention during lunchtime for the next two weeks-" Doug turns red and immediately storms out the office, slamming the door on his way out. Dramatic.

The Professor raises an eyebrow and turns to you "Y/N, you will be in detention after school today. I understand wanting to defend your friends, but that wasn't the way to go about it. You may leave now." You nod and turn for the door, pausing and turning back. "Professor, I'm sorry for acting out. It won't happen again." He smiles and you softly and responds "I know, Y/N. Now go, I can hear your friends thoughts from here." You giggle and walk out the door.

You practically sprint out to your friends, who are still waiting for you to come back. Jubilee grins at you and hugs you tightly "That was freaking awesome!" you blush and meekly smile at her. Everyone starts asking if you're ok, but through all the chaos you catch Jeans eye and give her a smile that she returns.

Yeah, you probably shouldn't have done that, and yeah you're fucking exhausted, but it's worth it to see the smile on their faces.

----

Late at night, you sit up straight on the couch you were lazing on and exclaim to youself "Damn Summers never gave me my fucking cookies!"

62 notes - Posted October 19, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

"You'll Have A Family"

Request: OOH X-MEN?? How about a shy gn!teen reader meeting characters of your choice for the first time and they’re all really supportive and nice :) Sorry if that’s kinda weird 😭😭 No worries if not!!

Fandom: Xmen

Mutation Explanation: Dude, imagine toothless except he's a human. R hides their wings and tail with a cloak because they dont like showing them off.

Pairings: (all platonic) Charles Xavier x gn!teen!reader, Logan Howlett x gn!teen!reader, Kurt Wagner x gn!teen!reader

A/N: what? no this wasn't requested in august wdym *sweats nervously* hope you enjoy @book-place !!! <333 (please ignore anything that doesn't make sense, not feeling the best recently so i get a pass on bullshit)

----

You walk up to the gate, hugging your cape closer to your body. The sign on the gate read 'Xavier's School For Gifted Youngsters'. Recently, your family had contacted the headmaster of the school asking if they could enrol you as soon as possible. The school had agreed, and your family had sent you off the next week- they weren't very fond of your mutation.

As you approach the front door, you can't help but overthink all the possibilities of what could happen. What if everyone hates you? What if they turn you away?Where would you go? Why couldn't you be normal-

Before you know it, you're standing in front of the door. You raise your hand to knock, and...stand there for ten minutes deciding whether or not to walk away and live in the woods for the rest of your life.

----

Inside, Charles was leaving his office as he was expecting the arrival of a new student soon. He was heading down to the common area when he heard some frantic thoughts coming behind the front door. He stopped and turned his attention to it. He moved towards the door and opened it to find the new student.

----

You blink and look down to see a man sitting in a wheelchair with a kind smile. "Hello! I'm Professor Charles Xavier, the headmaster of this school. Please, come in." You awkwardly shuffle in the door and close it behind you. Charles noticed that you have yet to take off your cloak, but he wouldn't push you to.

You look around the mansion, that you realize you'll be living in from now on. It reminded you of a tour you took in a castle when you were young-it was probably smaller than this place. Your attention is brought back to Charles as he explains that a student would be meeting you soon to take you on a tour around the mansion.

You nod slightly and rub the sleep out of your eyes, which reminds you of something your parents didn't tell the school. "Uh, sir?" He turns back to you with a small smile. "Yes? And Professor is just fine." You hum in return, and continue "I don't think my parents mentioned this to you, but I have a nocturnal sleeping pattern, so how would I attend classes?" Charles paused for a second, why wouldn't your parents mention this? Brushing the thought off, he responds "We can discuss this later in my office in more detail, but I'm sure we can work around it."

Just as he finished speaking, a teen showed up our of nowhere, scaring the shit out of you. You shriek and jump back, causing your wings to flair up in defence. The teen raised his hands up, "Uh, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to scare you!" You stood back, wings still up, and took in his appearance. He had blue skin, blue hair, yellow eyes and a blue tail thatwas swishing around. He was wearing jeans and a t-shirt with a TV show logo you didn't recognise.

Slowly, your wings lowered back down but you were still nervous. The teen awkwardly glances at the Professor before holding his hand out to shake. "My name is Kurt. What's yours?" You hesitantly shake his hand, responding quietly "Y/N L/N..." He smiles at you, and then explains how he would be giving you the tour of the mansion. You nod and bid your goodbyes to the Professor, who smiles and returns to his office.

A few hours later, Kurt has shown you where classes are, bathrooms, bedrooms, the kitchen, the common area...and you are exhausted. All you wanted to do was flop down on your bed and sleep, but the universe had other plans. Right at the end of your tour, Kurt and you ran into some of Kurts friends. They introduced themselves as Scott, Jean and Jubilee. You nod at them but say nothing in response. You all stand there for a moment before Jean suggests everyone goes outside because it's a nice day outside.

"Um... I'm actually pretty tired after travelling all night... I think I'm gonna lie down for a while." You awkwardly smile. Jean smiles at you kindly and responds "Yeah, that's chill, have a good nap!" And with that, the group were off. You stand still for a moment and then head upstairs to the bedrooms. You get there, and finally fall asleep.

----

When you wake up, you find that you've slept through dinner. You shrug off your cloak and walk downstairs, your tail dragging on the ground. You always felt more relaxed during the night time- there wasn't anyone around to judge you, and you could look at the stars in peace and quiet.

You walk down to the kitchen without getting lost- total win- and rummage around in the cupboards for some food. One of the best parts of your mutation is the fact you can see perfectly well in the dark, so you've never had to use lights during the night.

You find a packet of your favourite chips, hopping up on the counter to eat them.

Lost in your own world, you failed to notice a new arrival in the kitchen.

----

Logan walked down the hallway in the mansion, with the intention of getting some beer from the kitchen. He walked in, and noticed someone sitting on the counter. They had yellow eyes- holy shit were they glowing?- black scaly wings and tail, and scattered scales across their arms, face and legs. They had claws for hands and feet, which looked scarily sharp. What caught his eye the most, though, was that clutched in their hands were his chips.

----

"Hey kid-" The stranger didn't get to finish his sentence because you, once again, got the shit scared out of you and fell off the counter. The man tried to come and help you up but your wings shot up protectively and a fireball started in your throat. The man steps back slowly and raises his hands up in defence, "Woah, kid, I'm not gonna hurt you. 'Was just gonna say you were eatin' my chips." You continue to stare at him for a moment, trying to determine if he was telling the truth. You backed down and picked up the chips, eating them again.

The man raises and eyebrow at you, "That's mine." You narrow your eyes at him and growl, to which he rolls his eyes and breaks the lock off a cabinet beside the sink. He reaches in and pulls out a can of beer. You peer at the cabinet, curious. He notices and thinks for a moment. "You want one?" Your eyes shoot up to him and you nod immediately. He chuckles and grabs one for you too.

See the full post

91 notes - Posted October 14, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[ladiiskittles]

i just don’t get the shit i have the biggest heart and it’s always gettin walked on no matter how hard i try not for it to happen it does,i can’t even be happy for a while anymore i swear every other day it’s some shit i’m really starting to think my dreams are true i really do!! she says one thing and i see somethin else and it proves to me that my dreams are really true and that this point maybe i really do just need to let it that part of my life go yea we had some really good memories and i don’t wanna let her go cause i really do like her more then she knows and maybe that’s my fuckin problem i jst like her way too much if i really do feel like the feelins are mutual then why am i still there

just for once i wanna be happy with everything,be happy cause i’m in the best relationship be happy because after all this hurt i’m finally with someone who likes me for me and not using me for a good fuck..i’m so tired of crying everyday cause i’m hurting i wanna cry cause i’m happy,happy that i can finally go to bed and wake up with a smile on my face but instead i have everything runnin thru my mind i will never know what happiness feels like

all my “friends” have a girlfriend/boyfriend so it’s jst me everyday can’t go anywhere cause their too busy for me can’t talk to them cause their too busy for me can’t even really tell anyone how my day has went and how i’m feeling when i need people the most like right now i have no one i have so much stuff on my mind and i can’t tell anyone to that i trust and won’t judge me or go back and tell people so i’m on here where i know no one will see it and/judge me it’s sad that i gotta do it this way but it’s the only way it’s out of my mind

honestly i’m jst not happy anymore and still wanna know what is the purpose of me bein here im not happy, the ones i like don’t like me,can’t do anything i want,bills and bein broke is taken a toll on me,i try to make people happy but don’t get anything in return,i just really don’t get wats the purpose for me being here jst to live everyday heartbroken cause i’m already living dead so why be here i really wish i did succeed those 3 times i tried to kill myself and i been wantin to do it several times again just don’t want mama to find me right after i do it so i try to have her go out of town so i can do it to where i will be long gone when she does find my body i been feelin sad and depressed for yrs and the 1 person who i thought i could talk to(mama) told me to “stop thinking about it” i’m basically home alone everyday all day i wanna know how imma stop thinking abt it cause if i could i would i really do think it was that easy,i basically told my “best friend” that i wanted to kill myself (once again trying to talk to someone) and all she did was read my message like wow and that really showed i have no one but my damn self just really wish i didn’t feel like this but i been doin it for almost 11 yrs and the past 5 yrs really got bad..this yr i think i did the most crying i every did in the last 6 yrs..i really wish i could jst not have any feelins like they do me but im not made that way i go home everyday and cry(like right now) i shower and cry i lay in bed and cry i wake up and cry i sit outside for a bit and cry i sit in the car and cry i talk to the animals and wish i could be them and cry..people really think i got it easy cause i have no kids and i really don’t people just don’t understand i wish i had kids it would be me and my kids and i would be happy with that just let it be me and my kids and leave me alone!!!

[jinkicake]

Trying to pull for my counterfeit joestar and he’s just not acting right😔 BUT YOU ARE SO RIGHT BUTING THAT STAR WOULD MAKE HIM BLUE SCREEN AND THEN ABSOLUTELY DESTROY YOU😩 I was just reading a thing about his clone fucking everywhere he can, like imagine albedo just muttering away at his desk and you come to bring him food bc fucking remember to eat and not overwork yourself 🙄 and he’s like “ that you I appreciate it, by the way can you help me with something?” And it’s him testing new potions on you😔 like if your the traveler he will be constantly dragging you into your teapot bc he can fuck you as loud as he wants there👀 I feel like he has a nice dick idk he was scientifically made to be perfect so his dick gotta be the same nice length with a good girth that makes you stare in shock like “ this mf was just hiding that??” I do adore unhinged possessive albedo who will fuck you in-front of his clone to show that your his and into he can fuck you like this…. BUT IM FOR THE STREETS SO IM PLACEING MYSELF INTO HIS AND KAEYA’S CAPABLE HANDS🥰 like they’re so mean bc kaeya likes to tease you and albedo is like how can He make you unravel the fastest. Like kaeya telling bc you how good you are and how well your taking him and albedo using his mouth to absolutely break you and he is gunna stare you dead in the eyes the whole time he sucks at eye contact any other time but when he’s fucking you he wants to see evey face you make. This mf the type to a look at you and slide it in slow

“ your doing so well for me love,just keep taking it for me.”

Like he makes people flustered on purpose bc he’s brutally honest and doesn’t get social cues so your teasing himself like “awwww you starring pretty hard, you like what you se😏” he will look you DEAD IN THE FUCKING EYE without missing a beat and be like

“ yes I do, seeing you like this makes me want to take you over that table right now and make you cum until your crying 😐”

And you’re sitting there slack jawed like,,,, hello?? And when you turn into a human tomato he’s like “??? You asked??? Is it not appropriate to talk about my desires?” DGDHDJ like he’s so open and honest you don’t need to guess what he’s thinking bc he will just say shit. Rip if you try and seduce him bc he will either not get it, get it and completely ignore you to see how far you will go, or sigh, get up from his desk and put your legs over his shoulders and just keep going until your begging him to slow down trying to grab his hands that are gripping your waist for dear life and this little shit will just smile and say” isn’t this what you asked for? You’ll take everything I have to give you” like possibly a breeding kink??👀just more about filling you up and watching it drip out of you. Like albedo is NASTY I can tell oh my god my chest hurts😭 he will do shit that has you covering your face bc where tf did he learn that?? Once again inviting Kaeya over to help you go dumb, like he knows Kaeya has the height so you can have a size kink as a treat🥰🥰 but since he’s not coming home I’m just gunna eat out sucrose infront of him while he’s like tied to a chair like nah you can’t get get anything bc your bad😤😤

omg how many wishes have you spent already? YOU STILL HAVE TIMEEEEEE!!!

theres just something abt albedo and his clone mmmmm,,,, hehehe like yes to fucking the clone and super yes to albedo getting jealous and hate-fucking because of his jealousy of the clone.... yeah! (that kinda reminds me of the xiaos..... kinda need to get raw dogged by both of them tbh)

DO NOTTTTT COME HERE TALKING TO ME ABOUT FUCKING KAEYA AND ALBEDO AT THE SAME TIME bc i will become the nastiest person on the planet..... there's just something about them sighhh

your albedo is so cute, i honestly never thought too much about him other than his ties to khaenriah but now im starting to understand the albedo love.... i truly am... from an albedo lore stan to an albedo love stan..... wow

nawrrrr albedo is NASTY i know he enjoys finishing inside and he literally cums buckets LMFAOOOOOO like it would be everywhere and he'd be so fascinated w it and probably would end up fingering it back into you.... you know,,,, for science~

also i knowwwww hed probs lose his mind in that chair LMAO like RIP the ties and break it.... ooooooh-

#sarahandoikawatalkshit #xiaos spicy almond tofu

[this-summertimes-sadness]

oc roulette: tag yourselves as my ocs (the gals)

if you identify with any of them, i would like to be your friend-

- - - - -

this user kins agent orthodox

fear her, or pray that she'd ruin you. or both, if you want.

'these violent delights have violent ends, doll.' • *smudges lipstick with the back of her hand* 'what, do i have something on my face?' • *carries rifles more than half her size with ease* • 'am i supposed to be here? probably not. am i here anyways and ready to set some fires? hell yes.' • 'mistress? is that what they call me now? huh. didn't know low rise cargo pants had this affect on people.' • 'no, i don't want a drink- father. father, i crave violence.'

this user kins agent viper

will kiss you for a 13 million dollar cheque.

'honey, i am nothing if not a snake. it's in my name.' • *has symmetrical dragon tattoos over her shoulder blades and down her spine* • *watches a building crumble to the ground with her arms crossed* '...well that was anti-climactic' • 'would you be a darling and zip me up please?' • 'kill time? sure, what do you wanna do?- ...oh. oh you mean- ...oh.' • *stashes daggers away in her garter* • 'what, never seen a pretty girl drenched in blood?'

this user kins agent lustre

is a sweetheart, don't get her wrong. until you give her a reason to be mean.

*spins loaded gun barrel with safety off* • 'where is she. you better tell me in 2 seconds or it's not going to be only watermelon juice you'll be tasting.' *talking about vila, who had just gone to the bathroom* • 'me? scary? never!' *has also made convicted serial killers cry* • *resting bitch face* • 'did it hurt? when you fell? from the top of that building because your lifelong confidante decided they had enough of your shit and pushed you?'

this user kins agent mirror

ladies and gentlemen, her.

'i will break her dead bones and pay lucifer to break her soul.' • 'what do you mean he got away? *sighs* get my bike ready' • 'oooo, cynical. i like it' • 'oh come on, don't be such a crybaby' • 'oh, believe me, i am itching to gouge your eyes out. these ropes are the only thing that's stopping me.' • 'catch me when i fall' *dives off a 50 story building* • *uses knife as eyeliner guide* • 'you've got a death wish haven't you, honey?'

this user kins agent heaven

don't make her raise her crossbow at you.

'how much longer do you want me to wait for you?' • 'go on, pull a stunt on me. i dare you.' • *sharpens her pencil with her arrows* • 'this place looks like a murder scene' *has just assassinated 5 targets in the very same room* • *keeps hair in dutch braids* • 'you think i'm scared of you?' • *uses a fountain pen that doubles as a weapon* • 'be careful, who knows what other tricks i have up my sleeve?'

this user kins agent apex

kill her and she'd kill you just the same.

'i did not graduate with a masters in psychology and comp sci for you to explain what HTML means, connor.' • *high alcohol tolerance* • *raps Betty by Yung Gravy effortlessly* • 'im so fucking cold-' • 'uGH! AS IF!' • *takes off gloves with her teeth* • 'no sweetheart, no one wants a know-it-all so why don't you just… :)' • *sits and stares at wall making everyone question her mental state - is just thinking about pancakes*

this user kins agent monarch

raising hell all over town.

'i don't want your pity.' • *keeps multiple dagger rings on her fingers at all times* • 'please, yes, assume i'm weak and helpless. that i need you saving me instead of knowing i know exactly how to ruin you' • *wears low ponytails with butterfly hair clamps* • 'do your worst.' • *loops and unloops finger from necklace when she's listening to someone talk* • 'go on. see if you could kill me without it bleeding you out as well.'

this user kins agent genesis

mysterious, wonder where she stands?

'sit still, i don't bite.' • 'i am just as good as you are bad, doll.' • *puts hairtie between her teeth when tying her hair up* • 'fate has entrusted you to me. how unfortunate.' • 'how very naive of you, thinking i can't rip your throat out with my hands' • *holds one's face with thumb on one cheek and other fingers on the other* • 'look at me while you're talking to me.' • 'do you think you'd feel it when i open you up?'

- - - - -

[momiamtired]

i tremble and panic when remembering what my life will be. im scared and lonely and i dont want anything else, just to see my family and home. for some reason i feel like in mt first days here, and even then it wasnt that bad. im afraid of the idea that i have to get used to this. i don t find living in the apartments and going to work that scary but still just understanding of how life plays with me makes me feel misserable. oh how i wish i never looked up this university in google, when i was lying in my warm bed at the winter, excited, because i found western university that will bring me to my dreams and actually is afordable for my family. i feel so stupid and im so sorry dad i am you spend so much money on me and im not even grateful. this fucker oh fuck he asks if 2 pm is okay for me. i dont think any pm is okay for me. i think tomorrow will be horrible. i dont think he thinks of me in a romantic way, he has some chicks name in his user name sticker. i fucking hate him. but i wish he could comfort me. he probably doesnt care in the slightest ab me. for some reason i kinda feel like omori? is this a strange reference idk. well omori song just started playing so i thought of it. i feel like i dont really should be in this world. i want to come back to what it used to be. i guess a lot of people think about the same things but uh yeah. i guess tomorrows gonna be awful. i really dont want to see him espercially this early but i have to get out of the house, it will fucking eat me alive. i must have studied a lot today but ima lazy ass and cryed all day. i hate that the idea of crying is so normalized today. its like oooh i cried because of this dead pigeon!! wtf no i believe tears are not for this. people cry when they experience strong emotions. my other roommate is singing songs in the shower god i hate her. its 9 pm btw. she screams like a pig. sometimes she is nice and i truly believe she is a nice person. i still hate her and would like to see her dead. but no right now. im not that angry right now. when i think of my mom i start to cry. i miss her so much. it was always like this when i was a kid, i would always cry when i was at sleepovers. i dont know why, its a strange feeling. it is reallt strange. when im okay i dont even want to talk to her, its like i dont have a lot of stimuli to do so? but when i feel bad the only oerson i want to call is her. i guess shes the only one who i believe would reallt care. not even my best friend who i would always call the best person in my life. im just a bad person. when she tells me that something happened to her im always kinda happy it happened. its not always like this but sometimes i feel like oh lol ye u deserved it bc there is enough good in ur life. im just an awful always jelous person. i guess world would be a better place without people like me. people like me are the people who shoot schools. i would be happier if it uh fuck again its like when u remembering something like just spontaneus and u immediately start to cry and tremble and like idk feel bad? i feel so so so homesick. i didnt feel that homesick at the start and here i am after 3 months here. i really love my parents and actually my home i am so sorry that i never told anyone this or idk oh god im so so sorry i never respected never understood. i guess its just that im homesick and my home isnt that good but tbh i cant of a thing better rn than my home. fuck any other place. fuck heaven. i just wish i could my cat and my mom sitting and talking loud at 7 am when the sun is rising with her mom and she will make me awake and i will go and ask her to be quiet really angryshly and she will go to her room and i will try to sleep again but now i cant so i smoke my vape and browse through tiktok, lying in underwear and some t shirt, then my cat will come to me and start meowing for me to play with him, i will annoignly play alittle bit with him and then proceed to do my every day morning chores. but summer in my country when u have friends is amazing. i mean my city. okay i will end now to mush words

[inlovewiththewordsofthedead]

where did i go wrong

this is not supposed to be a song

this is not one of those lullabies to put you to bed

this is a verse about dread

tread

dead

red

all over the floor

in the cracks and out the door

my heart never seems to give up

sometimes i wish that the one in my chest would stop

sometimes i wish i would just fucking drop

i love her but she dosent love me back

everytime i see her i get butterflies and heart attacks

he told me to go to her; what are we now?

acts like were together

never better

never thoughtless

the thoughts, they never receed

sometimes i feel like screaming

screaming out to anyone who will listen even though I know there ain't no one here

sometimes i feel like bleeding

i miss the toxic metal taste on my tongue

the way the chrimson would fall to the ground with the sound of a drum

tap, tap, tap

splat, splat, splat

sometimes i find myself dreaming

dreaming of the toxic wasteland that is my heart

full of sand but no water

so bad my mouth is tart

tell me where did i go wrong?

tried so many times just for love

im 17 but my heart has been though enough

been through torture

been through rape

been through sorrow

been through pain

i wish i had a switch in my mind

a valve; to turn my heart off, but no that'd be too kind

i think its time to leave

i think this earth is done with me

i think all my friends are fake

i think im in love with a girl who never takes

you never leave you suffocate and leave me to die

i cant breathe where was my mom when I needed to cry?

trying so hard not to be her

and that is turning me into a monster

all i want is someone to take care of me

but of course that side of me

argues with the one that wants me

the one that wants me to take care of others

its a constant battle with the demons in my head

where did i go wrong with these voices?

one day ill wind up dead

dont cry for me

dont cry for me

dont cry for me

you did this to me

you locked me out without a key

yet you sit here and mourn my death like it was so unhappy

when i die im gonna have a wake

so you can stare at my face and a "Fuck you"'s the only thing you'll be able to take

where did i go wrong?

again, this is not supposed to be a song

this is not one of those lullabies to put you to bed

this is a verse here to drive you out of my head

goodbye my love see you on the other side of my bed

one day...