#of conveying that entire paragraph without saying a word

[doublekanble]

heart

Alastor/reader (gnc)

romantic-platonic

word count: 5.5k

or, alastor is a man of many things, and you believed he can never love without hurting his love. tw: a small paragraph of al eating your heart.

1. “–I was right.”  you coughed, the more you do, the more your voice choked on itself. Your body seized and shuddered with every beat of your heart as blood spew from the wound, already giving up on getting yourself away when you can barely breathe. He wishes he could’ve made it easier for you, but he got caught up. “you really are selfish…”

As the hand he’s holding onto quickly grew cold, Alastor hoped, for all its worth, that when he fall, however long it’ll takes, you’ll find the strength to finally accept his love for you. For now, he set his left ear over your heart, his hair stained red, Alastor listened closely for what he thought was the last time, as you and your life stops entirely.

(having done this time and time again, for the first time in a long time, he felt a longing for warmth, your warmth, the one seeping from you and dissipating with the cold air in the night.)

2. If there is ever a need to described himself, then Alastor would be the first to say that he is a man of many thing.

The charming popular radio host of New Orleans, the life of the party, a bachelor second to none. He’s your friendly neighbor who greets you with a smile and a caring friend. He’s the perfect son and an amiable stranger. Everything you want, he will be. Everything, except all you ever wanted from him is someone to talk to.

You’ve always a strong fascination for writing from years gone by. From the gloomy and miserable words of a poor but astute poet, riddled with nihilism and pain, to a long-gone romanticist who wrote fairy tales and chasing love he couldn’t held in his hand, or a myth, lost to time and rewritten over and over again. All the books you ever care to curated in your home is that of the classic and the dead.

Perhaps that’s why he’d grown so attached to you and the poetry you sewn into existence with clumsy words.

With his unfortunate lot in life despite his mother’s best effort –god bless that woman, Alastor would, in time, learn how to play charade better than anyone else, barely remembering the last time he bother to show care to anyone else with love and honesty rather than bemusement. He doesn’t need moth-bitten books to guide him through conversation when he can just as easily play the role of a salesman, granting you the option to pick between a piece of stale bread or the last supper. But only a salesman in the end, his words and gestures is with all the saccharine and none of the sugar.

Although he could never hope to weaves paintings with his word, ever only a mockery of one, Alastor welcome his shortcoming in strides, as long as people bought into his act. For the love he lacks in his heart, valuable you, his treasured companion, would make up for it all.

In stark contrast to his hidden callousness, you were a much more genuine person. The books and stories you gathered throughout your short-lived life give you a means to convey the feelings that made up your whole existence. In the occasion where he manage to pick the right topic, you would choose to hastily penned out your thoughts, writings border-on obsessive as you speak of vivid strokes of emotions no single word in any language can ever hope to capture. And yet, your heart, enraptured by the scenery, frantically beat so loudly in your chest as you speak of worlds end and death departed with shared poison; it would also spoke of a love so ordinary and mundane.

You’d never mourned the Danish storyteller that chased love endlessly, simple deeming it a life worth living. He wondered if you ever regretted telling him that.

(you sing praises to the odds and the out of sort while cursing at the commonplace of life, Alastor charmed the ordinary and laugh at the macabre death brings. as long as you’re there by his side, he have no need to love anything else.)

 3. Just like everything else about you, your close proximity to Alastor is not the standard, and should always be seen as an exception.

That evening, you both got shooed away after a particularly early dinner, his mother’s only excuses was that you, the esteemed and beloved guest, already help with cooking, so it’s only natural you’ll get to spend the rest of the stay resting up. Even if the most you ever did was being so horrendous at chopping veggies, Alastor ended up taking over your load instead.

He laugh about it, saying that you’re pretending so you don’t have to do the work. His mother slapped him on the back of his head, while he nearly chop off his own fingers, she comforts you about your culinary skill. You smile at him when she turns her back on you both, knowing full well Alastor’s fighting his instinct to throw the first thing in his hand at you.

You two stand awkwardly on the porch and stare at the only available seat before Alastor argues that he did the most work so he should take the rocking chair. You point out how he’s practically whispering in the hope of his mother not noticing, he doesn’t bother to deny it.

After some mindless chatter, Alastor would suddenly joke about how if he were to ever read the same works as you, maybe he’ll be able to conceived a love so vicious and gentle too. You, sitting just by his feet, only gives him a sheepish smile. It wasn’t until before you’re at the front of his door, already bid his mother goodbye and ready to go back, that you would throw a remark at him.

“I think you’re a pretty vicious guy on your own,” you walk the three step down and continued through the front walk nonchalantly, hands in your coat pocket instead of linking with his like usual. “If you were to love someone, you’ll hurt them in the end. Even if you were to read all of my books.”

You stand at his gate. Although you’re waiting to see whether he’s going to go with you, you might as well have been gauging his reaction. Unconsciously, as he catches your gaze, he relaxed his grip and stride towards you like a panther to a sitting duck.

“You’re welcomed to, by the way. Just don’t dog-tag them.” Faint stinging shot through the heart of his hands from where his nails was digging into. His laugh sounds more like choking as he ignores your offer for now.

“Now, I wasn’t aware you have such a dreadful view of me, let alone thinking I can’t – what?” incredulously, Alastor barks “Love?! HAH!I supposed one of us are going to have to break that pathetic news to my mother.”

The moment he reach you, he catches a soft sigh falling from your lips, “It’s not that I think you can’t, Al.” the nickname that he imprinted on your frontal lobe sounded like nails on chalkboard, “It’s that I think you shouldn’t.”

“How delightful…”

You turned and began to walk on your own. If Alastor was anyone else, he would’ve taken this at face value and get offended at your eccentricity.

“And where, pray tell, does these impressions of yours come from?” He snatched your left arm, pulling it from its resting place and do the job himself. You give him a look, he smiles.

“I’ve been watching you.” His expression must’ve been something, enough for you to instantly stop on the sidewalk as you stammered and tries to pull your arm from him. “Not like that you deviant! I was just trying to get a read on you, since everyone kept talking about you being unattached and all.”

“Yes, yes, I know. What now, you want in on the chase? It’s ok dear, I know I’m utterly irresistible!” Refusing to let go of you, he only laugh on as you scowl. It’s well known to everyone that Alastor have been available for the longest time since anyone ever known him. It was also a well-kept mystery, the fact he have never courted a single person throughout his entire life.

“Utterly hogwash, that’s what you are.” Huffing to yourself, you finally would relent your arm to him. Your shared steps echoing across the darkening street, it’s near curfew. “I do have to say, I see what they meant, about you being a good spouse and all that,” He smiles a bit brighter at that, “But I just can’t see you being vulnerable with anyone else. You despises things not going your way, and love just have too much uncertainty!”

“Yes, yes,” he repeats, as if soothing you from a tantrum, “Weak and frail Alastor, the poor soot of New Orleans, unable to tear his ribcages open and show everyone his organs the same way his beloved whimsical friend here does every day ~.” You hiss as he settled his own weight against you with his head on your shoulder, nearly knocking the both onto the ground, “I guess you’ll just have to be with me for the rest of your life then! If you don’t, I’ll simply drown in my own piled up misery! What a life it’ll be!”

“Sure you will. Now get off and take me back home you dramatic coot.”

4. At that time, there was no need for Alastor to inquire your meaning of “vicious”.

In direct contrast to your trusting nature, you’re also perceptive and doubtful to a fault. The first slight of your tongue was a comment on how he can stop smiling around you. Always with that same gaze as you have now, lying underneath him. For the life of him, he couldn’t remember what he said to you that day. But it was enough for you to stood up and walked from the table with a ten-dollar bill pin under your half-finished lemon tea. The issue was quickly resolved with a phone call to your home, but he quickly learned that you don’t take kindly to – and quite frankly, refused to participate in – saccharine sweet insult.

But at what point did he stop hiding himself and let you read him freely, he thought. If he bit down on his tongue until he bleeds and shut you out like how he did to so many others who couldn’t even take one step near him, then maybe something could’ve turn out differently.

Replaying that moment over and over in his head, for the first time in his life, Alastor think about the concept of love, really think about it. It simply was an aspect of life that he never pay mind to, equating it with romance book and kissing under starry skies, and thus, utterly useless. When he think of love, all he have to go off of is his dear old mother, who sacrifices and suffers so much for him, which, in time, he pay her back with everything he have. His life was only about her and himself and the bodies under the forest floor and it was everything he wanted and more. Until one rainy day, with his eyes on the script he’s writing out for tomorrow’s broadcast, bleary-eyed and hearing the bed calling his name, he thought about you.

When he came to, he already dropped his coffee cup. The brown liquid burns, even through his slipper.

After that, Alastor would start picking out books from your carefully curated shelves, sitting in your armchair and skims through the lines while you spread across the ground like an old cat, he tried to find the feelings that you described to him in the same page you’d read a million times and over. But as he does so, he would soon find that there’s not a single word in any of those old and yellowed pages of yours that is able to captured the quickly spreading rot in his heart. In a frenzied, Alastor would burn through your small library faster than you could ever hope for.

(Alastor knows that time and time, again and again, as long as you’re willing to reach for his hand, he will never let go of yours.

at some point, he’d stop caring about whether you’re willing to at all. why would he, when the meaning of being able to love you became all he care to know at all.)

5.

“You don’t need to love like I do, you know that, right?”

He turns to you, on your stomach, lying in your nest of blankets and pillows with a pencil in hand putting down incomprehensible charcoal shape.

“Bragging now, are we?” he gets up from the armchair and settled down by your side, eyes watching your hand while propping the book he was reading in his lap. You crank your neck and stare at him with a look, “And how are you so sure I want to love like you, dear?”

“You’ve been plowing through my books.”

He sends you a beaming smile, acting innocent while playing with your hair.

“You offered.”

“Aren’t they all the one I told you about?”

Your eyes on the book he’s holding, then the one he just placed back into the shelves. It feels like he’s back in his mother’s kitchen, with his dirty nails behind his back and a poor excuse for the missing bread on the dinner table. Except this time, there’s just you and him in your small living room, and you’re looking awfully smug about it.

Raising his hand in the air, he sigh pitifully, “Ah~, guilty as charged, darling.” and offers nothing else. The silence afterward is enough of a white flag anyway.

Pleased with what you got from him, you turn back to your work, seemingly unaware (or even worse, maybe you don’t care at all) about the gnawing in his chest and the storm raging in his head while his hand weaves through your hair.

The last time you talked to him about love, you more-or-less called him and his love hazardous. While Alastor have no trouble with accepting it from anyone else, with you, it feels as if you’re discarding a part of him to the dogs. Although his knowledge on many topics far exceeds yours, when it came to pure and genuine emotions from the heart, you’d know enough to examine him under all type of love there is, and time after time you’d deemed him impossible to ever love. And despite knowing loving and love is wholly separate, it tears him open to even considers that you’d thought of him as unable to love and be loved and something about it is just so incredibly agonizing to the point of wanting to rip you open so you can see just how unlovable you are too.

But in your living room, sitting right next to you the way no one else is allowed to. He sigh, making sure his words doesn’t come off as unpleasant as he feels.

“If I don’t have to love like you, then how do you supposed I should be doing it?”

“I’m not sure, but hopefully not at all.” You said offhandedly, but you might as well just drove a knife through his stomach, but it’s you, so he let it be, “If you can’t help yourself though, you’ll probably do something really horrible.”

“What do you supposed I’ll do?”

You turn to him, a hint of surprise in your eyes at how close he is now, but you let him be, “Undecided. But you seems like the type to let it eats you alive.”

“I’ll let my love eats me?” Laughing in disbelief, he could almost call you cute with how you nodded to yourself, resolute in your idea about him.

“You’ll let it eats you, yes.”

Alastor chuckled to himself as he tap your sketchbook twice, you hand it to him.

“Well, I’ll need to make sure that I won’t be alone, aren’t I?”

You laugh openly and said that’s true, he’s too selfish to be taken alone. Alastor couldn’t care about how much of that was just more of your usual jest and how much of it is your view of who he is. If you, who love so selflessly and readily, agrees without push back, that someone as selfish as him will doomed whoever it is that he loves so much, then who is he to deny.

At that time, the line of charcoal you put onto the paper come together to show a shadow of a small man dragging a coat by his unseen feet, a mock-up from one of the stories that you loved. Alastor stop wondering if he ever could love something like the poems and stories you’ve read a million times over, instead, he think it’s best if he loves the way you expected him to, the way he can see himself doing.

6. To be loved is to be changed.

You told him this while he stand in your kitchen, trying to shoo you back to the table so he can work without fuzzing over you. And now, while he’s holding you, so cold and so unlike you, Alastor wondered whether you would like it if your bones were to be buried in the same spot as the others.

As much as he’d love to keep it near with him, there’s not a single excuse in the whole round earth that can ever help him convinced his mother of letting him uprooted the garden out back and buried you down there, neither can he bring you with him everywhere. Alastor wants to try taking you to the morgue after he’s done, but how do you explain bringing in a set of skeleton with missing ribs? It’s simple, really.

You don’t.

He lifted you up in his arms and sat back on his sofa, your lulling head settled just below his chin, wanted to savor what’s left of you for just a bit more before rigor mortis sets in and makes you even less of what you are now. The gramophone in the corner of his room spewed utter nonsense as Alastor closes his eyes.

It’s Tuesday tomorrow, but he will have to roll up his sleeves and get to work on cleaning out one of the guest room in his hunting lodge if he doesn’t want the ants to take you first. He’ll have to call in sick, too. Alastor likes to think that when he sees you again, you’ll at least have the will to appreciate the troubles he went through for you and not complaint about being locked up inside. You and the love you have for him, akin to small river, a gentle stream, with orange and yellow leaves floating across, tucked in a forest somewhere. It widdled down the rocks and carved a path for itself. The same one that you oh so heartlessly withheld from Alastor.

You'd appreciate being bury in such a scenery, it’s a shame you won’t be, though your body would’ve made way for the prettiest flowers. But you’ll have to take what he can afford to give. To be loved is to be changed, after all.

(when, not if. having gone on for this long, he’s sure that you’re suspended in between life and death in the hell you refuses to ever believe in. half of him prayed that there’s not a river there so you can drown yourself in it just to forget all about him. the other half prayed you’ll remember nothing at all, even of the literature you love so much.

at some point, where will you stop being yourself? when you forget enough of yourself? Alastor doesn’t need to care about the semantics. he knows he’ll choose you time and again, even if you forget how you love.)

7. You take your time reading through farewell letters.

Unless the cats and dogs on the street can write, then there’s only a few, you kept a significantly smaller number of friends by your side. But it must’ve been hard to even focus with Alastor sitting right next to you.

“Darling, surely we can-“

“Please don’t make this any harder than it already was, Alastor.”

Desperately holding onto your wrist and halted your pace for just a second, he all but plead a hopeless case.

“You’re not thinking straight! Are you really just going to up and leave because someone told you so? After living your whole life here?!”

Your hand, moving like clockwork, already finished with the letters, refusing to stay in his. You pulled back from him and place the rest of the letters in a small wooden box with a deer carved on its lid. “You know it’s not just that.”

In times like these, he wonders if it was himself who have gone mad. As if the whole world is in on one big joke and you are just following along with it. Any moment now, you’ll burst into laughter and tell him that everything is a lie. You’re not moving to Washington to help a friend you know for some years with their business, and you’re not leaving him, not after everything he showed you. But you’re holding onto the letter with his mother’s name written on the front with misty eyes as if you have no other choice. So he held you by the shoulders to the point digging his nails into it and turned you to look at him.

“Then what else is there?! For Christ sakes-“ you look as if this is the hardest thing you’ll ever have to do in your life, he felt as if this is the hardest battle he have to fight, “Please, mon Chéri, talk to me...”

Alastor collapse onto you, his whole weight pins you down on your small couch. Head on your chest, he listens as your heart beats just a bit faster. You let him.

“…what do you think we are, Alastor?”

Without hesitation, he reply.

“We are whatever you want us to be. Whatever it takes for you to stay.”

For someone like you, a romantic at heart, just like who he is now, that should’ve been enough for you to at least considers the possibility of forgetting about what’s right and wrong. For sure, it would’ve been enough for you to stay, if you were anyone else.

But you’re you, and he’s only himself. The romantic in you see through his act for the longest time and still fall in love with him, but just like how your love is selfless and kind, it’s also viciously rational. If you were anyone else, you would’ve ignored the rational part of yours.

“I’m sorry, Alastor.” All this time, he was desperately proving himself to you. Doing everything in his power just so you’re willing to forget your rationale and love him just as much as he loves you. “We’ll die loving each other.”

He doesn’t care if he die, Alastor wants to scream out. He’s ready to die to love you, he have been screaming out all this time. But despite all of his effort, you deemed him a love not worth chasing after till death, while he already planned the path to hell with you.

Your fingers, shaky and gentle, brush through his hair. If it was anyone else, he wouldn’t have to place himself bare and vulnerable like this. But if you were anyone else, he wouldn’t have love you at all. And if it’s death holding you back from loving him, then so be it.

8. For a long time now, Alastor knows you more than anyone else.

You were never a dancer, not by choice either. Its pathetic in the cutest way, how you froze up and refused to move, the way you stutters and try to pull from him only ever makes him want to bully you more. But from the way your brows draws together, to the way you’d tripped over yourself chasing after his footstep, all of it, Alastor earned from you.

From the way you stayed up overnight, to how the bottom of your shoes dragged against the pavement as you walk. From the tip of your pencil, to the bottom of your bookshelves. Every books on your shelves and every sketches. Alastor swear with all his life that no one else knows better than him when it came to you.

He knows intimately the curves you’d penned on your signatures; he knows how you’d change your mind at a moment notice about anything, he knows how you take with you small things on the side of the road that you deemed pretty enough and he knows you still have a lot you want to do here that you’ve told your lovely friend. So it’s only normal for Alastor, the person you grown to love so much, to know exactly why you refuses to even considers being by his side, and it’s just his luck that he also knows just how to write a letter with words just like yours.

So when was it that you got a friend you trusted so wholeheartedly, so faithfully, so much so, you’re your dearly cherished Alastor became a second thought in your mind? Weren’t you a romantic? Weren’t romantics idiots who can’t think straight when it come to love? So why was it that you alone refuses to let yourself love him and remained so loyal to someone you only considered a friend, someone who couldn’t even tell your lettering from his? Was it them? Who fed you lies after lies to captured you in their own hands? Was it them who taught you the telling and sign of a madman? Is that why your view of him was so horrible, you' refused to ever fathom life with him?

He knows you would’ve hated him for this, but Alastor adores you, and sometimes you just don’t know what’s best for you, even when it’s staring at you from across the front walk and following you to your home.

So if someone as rational as you can be swayed back to his lodge for just one more visit, then your friend surely can be swayed too, to come and visit you some other time, down here in your beloved New Orleans.

9. If anyone ever ask anyone else, then they will say that Alastor, beloved local radio host of New Orleans, is a man of many things. But if they were to ask you, then he’s one of the person you cherished the most, and your dearest friend.

He’s everything, the charming popular radio host of New Orleans, the life of the party, a bachelor that’s second to none. Alastor plays himself as your friendly neighbor who will always greets you with a smile and a clenched fist behind his back, hiding a stain just on the cuff of his sleeve in the early morning, a caring friend that offers you help just in the nick of time. Alastor is his mother’s perfect son, who spent more time comforting her about your whereabouts than to care for his own fracturing mind; an amiable stranger, gripping the newspaper detailing yet another disappearance with a bit too much force. Everything you have ever wanted him to be, he was. And yet, to his utter bewilderment and maddening grief, you refused to let him be anyone other than a friend you talked to about everything.

In the letters you saved from your beloved pen pal-turn-missing person, they would call you mature and wise. Sentimental words and kind, to his eyes, all are but hollowed gestures advising, agreeing, and offering you a place up in Washington until you can forget all about him and move on with your life, leaving Alastor to be nothing more than a nostalgic blot on the tablecloth, nothing more than yearning in early Junes. Until you forget the fact you ever love him at all, all because you decided that you couldn’t afford to let yourself be love by him.

Keeping all of it in mind, Alastor decides your dear friend should be bury far away from the comfort of your room. Three years, seven months and eleven days after your death, Alastor dragged a body into the woods. Not just any old one like usual, but not anything else too special.

It’s odd, even though you’ve been gone for the more than a year by now, it’s almost as if you’ve neve left his side. Maybe it’s the rest of you, lying peacefully in your nest of pillows and blankets, in your room that he diligently maintain. Maybe it’s your shared books he sometimes takes from his shelves and skims through in the dead of night after a hard day. Maybe it’s the locked box, sitting by his work desk welcoming him home after a night out, the same one he held in his hands, void of blood and anything else.

Or maybe it’s the reverberating sounds of heartbeat, so unlike his own. In both his waking days, in his reveries, over the sounds of the jazz band down in his favorite speakeasy and following him into the woods. Ever so silently, oh-so gently, utterly viciously in his left ear.

In any other case, Alastor finds he absolutely adores the idea of your ghost haunting him until his fell into his grave.

(you said that he should never love because he couldn’t be in control. he mourn the fact you never even let him prove you wrong. Alastor would’ve let you dance on his rotting corpse if that’s what it takes for you to let him call you his.)

10.

Somewhere in his heart, Alastor had hoped that you of all people can evade the hand of rots.

It’s a genuine shame that in the end, all of the words in the world will do nothing to stop you from sharing the lot with the others, he thought, staring down from where he straddled you with his hand peeling off layers of skins and fat. Warm fingers brushes against your hollowed cheek, before raising a small hammer and bringing down onto your bare chest. Alastor wants to preserve you for as long as possible, but to do that properly, he might as well take all of your innards out and sewn you up. It’s not that he’s not open to that idea, Alastor love every part of you. It’s just that he’s sure you’ll be extremely upset when you find out. So he’ll have to get comfortable with doing things the hard way, no matter how hard it is to do so.

With steady fingers in spite of the drumming in his ears, Alastor patiently picks out every pieces of bones he could, placing them into a small, wooden box. With a wistful smile, he closes the lid and set it aside. He miss you already.

Pushing your lungs out of the way, he dig his hands in. With blood runs up to his wrist, Alastor tries to be as gentle as he can while pulling your heart out. One hand holding onto it, another carefully cutting away everything that ties it to your body.

Distinctly, every part of you was always warm, and over time, Alastor, who’s hands are as cold as winter itself, find comfort in your touch. It was almost like you were made just for him, and him, you. And now, with your heart, cold and silent in his hand, Alastor realized what a miserable life it will be to go on living without your warmth with him from now on until he’s six feet under. But it’s ok, he’s sure of it, because above all else, what he’s been chasing after this whole time is in his hand.

For a brief moment, Alastor wondered if he were to meet you in another lifetime, one where you aren’t so complicated and so in love with the idea of living a fair life and a right love, would you have let yourself be wrong and love him. But he’s glad that your love, with all its beautiful intricacies that causes him this much pain, with a wound in it, still look as beautiful as he hoped.

Sinking his teeth into it, into you, the taste of iron and metallic flooded his mouth and drown his senses as he closed his eyes shut and nearly buckled under the taste of you. There’s not a single word in the book to describe the visceral sensations running through his blood and spreading through his every veins. Alastor shivers, the back of his head felt numb, his fever grows as he desperately takes his time and savor you. It’s a shame you can’t last forever, but he’ll take what he can get for now.

(as his teeth tears into your veins, he hears a sounds, so familiar, somewhere in the corner of his ears. it wasn’t until he caught his own heart beating that he realized that the rhythm he’s hearing isn’t his at all.

until the day you two can meet again, until then. he pray he will never forget the sounds of your heart, beating so gently.)

#alastor #hazbin hotel #x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #alastor x reader #hazbin alastor x reader #hazbin alastor #hazbin x reader #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel imagine #hazbin hotel oneshots

[zephyrine-tale]

im doing the rant about N25 KAITO i fucking lied about it coming on the weekend because im bored as hell :3

*ahem*

so N25 KAITO is memed a lot because in the April Fool's event, there's an area convo with N25 Rin where she's talking with another unit's KAITO (either VBS or WXS i can't remember 💀) and she's like "oh. i wonder if our KAITO will be like that :)"

and in EN server there's almost certainly people meming the way the new stamps tastefully ignore N25 KAITO

and I'm interested by this because I think niigo KAITO coming last was a very purposeful decision by the writers?

let's look at the first four KAITOs. Leoni KAITO is quiet, shy, but still a helpful senpai- exactly what the Leoni girls like Saki and Ichika have been needing for direction in their music studies and becoming a better band by working together individually and as a group.

MMJ KAITO is a hardworking manager, who provides that "push" that's shown to help Minori the most. Minori has her head in the clouds often and is shown to be helped by very severe, what I would consider maybe slightly "harsh" instruction from the others. (Think Airi always training her and pushing her to go harder, that's what Minori needs.) KAITO provides that push and also shows the management side of being an idol group for MMJ- all of MMJ are idols after all, to my knowledge none of them have managing experience. But keep in mind, he's still kind. He's still helpful and nice, and smiles often.

VBS KAITO is shown as mostly a direct contrast to Akito and how since the main story, he (akito) has wanted to work hard and consistently for the goal to surpass Rad Weekend, even perhaps putting his studies aside. KAITO represents keeping talent and being hardworking, while still being lazy and having fun. I think he also represents as motivation for Kohane, who was convinced by the main story she needs to work constantly and hardly and push herself beyond other things she enjoys to be able to reach this goal- but she doesn't. All of VBS can achieve their goal while still having fun with it, and that's what their KAITO represents.

WXS KAITO is literally fucking WXS KAITO idk what you want

Okay jokes aside as the "main" KAITO he is there to provide the more serious aspect to WonderShow's silly goofiness. Tsukasa definitely also has is head in the clouds, but all he wants is "to become a STAR! ⭐️" without really knowing how to achieve that goal. KAITO represents the path to that goal, and motivates him to work for that future. We see before PXL and SEKAI, that Tsukasa wasn't really getting anywhere with his acting career, right? And there's a whole other bucketload of info about what he represents for Emu, Nene, and Rui, but I can't figure out how to word it 😭 😭

So to sum it up, KAITOs seem to show what the unit members (especially the "leaders" but not always) need and motivates them to get to their overall goal, they were created in the image of what they want and what they need. And in contrast to Niigo KAITO, they are all NICE. They are all helpful, kind, fun, and genuine.

Now, remember what I said just now, about how they were created in the image of what the unit members want and what they need.

With Niigo, it's a common theme that could be said that "all roads lead back to Mafuyu." Kanade wants to save someone with her music, and Mafuyu represents that desire for her. Ena wants to prove herself as a talented and respectable artist, and she'll know she reaches that goal once Mafuyu is able to genuinely tell her, from the bottom of Mafuyu's heart, that Ena had improved and gotten the feeling she wanted to convey across to someone who is practically incapable of feeling anymore. And Mizuki ,,, there's definitely something for them to but I can't remember anything abt their stories rn 😭 😭 im a failed mizuki kinnie istg (also this entire paragraph was not supposed to invalidate any of their individual stories and characters and say that mafuyu is the best and only character of N25 that's not it at all)

So, considering Mafuyu under this lens, and quoting that KAITOs tend to represent what a unit member needs and wants to move forward, this becomes interesting because deep down, Mafuyu doesn't know what she needs or wants. There were definitely people who predicted that N25 KAITO was gonna be an asshole, but for the most part KAITO's harsh strictness and rudeness came as a direct contrast to all of the kind, helpful SEKAILOIDS we've seen before. Even N25 MEIKO was just kinda chill and quiet with the occasional not nice comment, but KAITO came forward with the sharp, harsh comments about what exactly Mafuyu needs to do. I heard somewhere that Mizuki tells Mafuyu that maybe running away would be a good idea, and that Rui tells her something similar.

But KAITO flat out fucking commands her (and the others i think) that she needs to confront and cut ties with mafumom IMMEDIATELY, and not in a nice or encouraging way either.

Anyways that was my midnight thought I had and I definitely did not do any research, so if I said something totally wrong or you'd like to make an argument/bring up new points, PLEASE feel free to reblog and tell me your thoughts! Plus I didn't beta read this or anything so it probably won't flow well and there might be a few typos or grammer mistakes. Hope you enjoyed reading!

#kaito #kaito vocaloid #project sekai #prsk #colorful stage #niigo #niigo mafuyu #n25 #n25 mafuyu #n25 kaito #nightcord at 25:00 #25 ji nightcord de #pjsk #proseka #prosekai #project sekai colorful stage #puroseka #hatsune miku #hatsune miku colorful stage #ichika hoshino #hoshino ichika #tenma saki #saki tenma #minori hanasato #hanasato minori #airi momoi #momoi airi #akito shinonome #shinonome akito #kohane azusawa

[desceros]

pls, wise one, when you have time, share with your children how you structure and word your writing so, so beautifully! cause you have me in a choke hold and my soul hooked to a chain with all your writings! especially your Tea fic :) I strive to become as good as you <3

oh man. this is a tough one. i kinda, uh. just do it at this point without really thinking?? so hold my hand and maybe we can figure it out together LMAO i'll use an example blurb and try and break it down as coherently as i can.

so first you want to have a pretty clear picture of what you want to convey to your reader. the more defined it is in your head, the more easily you can communicate things to your readers. eventually you'll get a feel for how much detail to go into as you describe it. you really don't need to describe the placement of every limb at every moment... but also, the placement of a hand can tell you so much about what's going on in a character's mind, so it's good to know where it is. there's a fine line between purple prose and effective set dressing.

i was just whining about not writing enough soft donnie so let's do that. he's on the couch staring at you. let's write that really quickly:

notice i don't talk about his entire body placement, but the looseness of his limbs is important. it gives a picture of his mental state without overwhelming you with too much detail.

next: i like to start with big, grand statements, then slowly pluck them apart into the minutia. things like. he looks comfortable. ok; what does that look like? what shape does he take in your head? for me, it's that he's reclining. propping himself up casually. i emphasize the 'soft. relaxed.' by having them be their own short sentences.

on that note, mixing your sentence length is very important and guides the flow of things. longer sentences are like water, bringing your reader down the river you've crafted for them. short sentences have a lot of power, because they're a lot more percussive. you want to use them sparingly so you don't overuse that and retain that feel. mix where you put your independent and dependent phrases, but also know when to mirror yourself. parallel structure can invite your reader to compare ideas or generate momentum. for example, continuing this blurb a bit:

every sentence begins the same, going from long to medium to short in a way that makes the flow of the paragraph feel a bit like a snowball rolling down a hill, like your thoughts are rushing, so that by the end you can land on a thought that's monumental and feels a little breathless. this is possible because of the parallel structure of the sentences ("like ____. like ____. like _____.") pushing the reader forward. you can of course do it in the opposite direction as well, for when you want to slow a reader down and force them to linger in a moment.

word choice is very important. i'm pretty particular about the words i use for certain things, and i really love using similes and metaphors to create abstract imagery that catches the light more than a flat statement. but it's also important to know when to use those flat statements for a high-impact statement. let's try:

this kind of falls into my philosophy on the whole 'show don't tell' thing. i'm obsessed with showing. but sometimes, it's more impactful if you tell. like... here you have a very evocative description of him. it includes little things like a reference to a red string of fate (showing it's a romantic moment for you, not platonic), wanting to keep the image in your head permanently, pretty words that mirror what your POV character feels. at the end, you can land on just. he's beautiful. because really that's all that needs to be said, right? but it feels more weighty a thing to say after what came before.

one of the best things i ever did for my prose writing was study poetry. that gave me an appreciation for the weight of a word, and how to use it effectively. the right word or phrase can really change a sentence both melodically and emotionally.

consider the difference between these:

does he want something? or does he covet it? is he unable to look away from your smile? or is he ensorcelled?

a writer's vernacular is an incredibly powerful tool, so i recommend highly that you expand your vocabulary. make sure to focus on not just the explicit definitions, but also the implicit. some words are largely interchangeable (a touch that slides vs one that glides), but some very much are not even though at first glance they seem they should (a haunting kiss vs a lingering kiss).

anyway i hope that helped a little! this kind of minutia-crafting is like, a passion of mine so i probably went way overboard OOPS but hey if it helps even a little i WIN

#ask tag #writing tag #any excuse for sweatpantello am i right ladies #god. edit btw thank you so much for the compliments i totally forgot to put that in the tags fdsakfjkj

[minecraftbookshelf]

Mistakes Are Made Chapter One Dialogue Breakdown

This was hard to make it turns out. A combination of "how do i format this" and trying to comprehensively summarize the thought processes and decisions going on. I think this works though.

Honestly, this sort of thing would probably work a lot better as like, a live conversation but we work with what we've got XD

I won't be including every bit of dialogue from the chapter but it will be most of them.

Disclaimer that this isn't a "How To" or any kind of "you should do things this way" this is just an explanation of what I put into my writing, and dialogue specifically. Also that I write in limited first person most of the time, so in a way, all the narration can be considered dialogue and as examples of character voice.

This is also only the first part of a long story that is intended to a) be re-readable and b) involve a lot of discovery as the story progresses, so a lot of the decisions I made are based off of things that will come up/be revealed later in the series. I will be talking about those, sometimes with no helpful explanation, sorry XD

I'm using color coding to specify what parts I'm talking about at any given time, so hopefully that helps.

This is going to be a long, wordy post, its entire point is to be an insight into the intentionality and consideration that goes into writing dialogue for me, if this isn't something you're interested in, absolutely pass it by. It will also likely "take some of the magic out of it" for some people. But I like to think that it might also add a bit more magic to it for others. So here we go!

On with the show behind the scenes! [AO3 Link to the Chapter] if you want to follow along there with more context to the selections.

"Hello, Jimmy!" He manages to clamber out of the fountain without tripping and falling flat on his face at least. He splashes Katherine in the process, where she is hovering off to the side but he can't really be bothered to worry about that. All he can manage to do is stare at Sausage's smirking face. "Hello, Jimmy!" Katherine's greeting is much less mocking

Starting off with the very first dialogue of the chapter, which doesn't occur until a few paragraphs in and then proceeds to be the exact same line said by two different characters.

This is one of the times that I am heavily relying on the fact that I am writing fanfiction and these greetings are words that we hear the characters in question (Sausage and Katherine) say multiple times. So I don't go into much detail with dialogue tags, counting on the reader to fill that in themselves. Even if they/you aren't imagining the exact tones I had in mind its a fairly easy extrapolation that these are said in wildly different tones. The emphasis on Sausage's is to imply the more mocking/antagonistic tone, helped along by the mention of his expression, but can also just convey that its louder and more emotive (As Katherine is trying very hard to be OfficialTM in this chapter) Also describing her greeting as "less mocking" helps fill in the appropriate tone for Sausages retroactively.

"What is he doing here?" He jerks his chin at Sausage, who is still giggling like a child. He sees Jimmy looking and grins at him, all teeth. Behind the mask, Jimmy bares his own teeth and takes some comfort in the knowledge that he has more of them; and they are sharper.

This is the first instance of Jimmy's inhuman body language being used as an extension of the dialogue/conversation between the characters. The use of teeth as a threat being a hybrid trait.

Sausage's smile is also part of this, something that isn't actually said in this chapter but will be demonstrated later on is that, as the ruler of a kingdom with a heavy hybrid population, Sausage knows this and his own body language is chosen accordingly.

Sausage keeps giggling and Jimmy can barely hear it beneath the roar in his ears. He leans down to try and whisper into the faerie queen's ear. "I really need your alliance right now, Katherine." He hopes his desperation doesn't show in his voice. She gives him a reproving look that throws him right back to his brief time spent in a classroom. "I'm allied with everyone, Jimmy. You know that."

This is the first example of really incorporating distinct character voices into the dialogue. I'm a liberal user of italics and in this case I'm using them to indicate emphasis where the ccs tend to stress their words to encourage assigning that voice to the dialogue itself. These are also, if not direct quotes from canon, very similar to actual things the ccs and their cubitos have said so it isn't exactly what I would consider heavy lifting.

Jimmy at this point is still fully informal. He's surprised and he's talking privately to a friend.

This is also more natural dialogue from Katherine, whose exasperation with her friend is partly overcoming her attempts to be Formal Faerie Queen.

I'm trying to keep the early dialogue fairly simple and close to canon voices because that way I can transition slowly and naturally into slightly different voices that suit the atmosphere while also preserving their more casual voices as the way that they talk when they are more comfortable and in less official settings. Setting up the contexts for different manners of speech is a big thing in this chapter overall.

"He invaded the Swamp," Jimmy hisses, his ear-fins flaring, ignoring the shudder down his spine from her use of his Name, even in part. "He crossed our borders. Again. He's threatened war." He's no longer whispering by the end, standing to his full height, shoulders back, sword hand by his shoulder. "And according to him, you've threatened it right back!"

Another instance of emphasis on Jimmy's inhuman body language.

This bit is actually more about Katherine than Jimmy. It does show a bit of Jimmy's sensitivity to magic but more than that, it incorporates Katherine's willingness to invoke her own flavor of threats, even in casual conversation with friends.

This is the first real deviation from canon dialogue in the entire chapter. This is the blending point where I'm taking the characters voices and using them myself instead of just channeling the pre-existing ones. The emphasis for this was important to me to try and keep it Jimmy's voice saying the words.

The body language here is a physical representation of Jimmy's shift from more informal speech to a more tense and emotionally and politically fraught situation.It's also the transition of Jimmy taking this from a private conversation to a more public one, now in earshot of both Sausage and Katherine's guards and staff. He's beginning to speak more as The Codfather than Jimmy and his physical stance is the biggest indication of that.

This is Katherine's last "private conversation" line and is, again, indicative of her frustration with her friends and the situation they have put themselves and everyone else in. It's a fairly sharp statement, geared to indicate that she is not really on Jimmy's side here. ("all sides" = "no sides" and a part of Katherine knows that, even if she refuses to admit it out loud, mostly because it is a role she has trapped herself in and can't leave.)

Sausage recovers quickly and shakes out the fur lining of his coat. "Is it just me or does it smell fishy in here, now?" "Sausage," Katherine looks disapprovingly back over her shoulder. "That's rude." "Oh," Sausage blinks at them both, "I'm sorry, Jimmy, I didn't realize."

Jumping ahead a bit we're in the "polite conversation because political masks" phase of dialogue.

Sausage is Not Being Polite. This is his attempt at "polite rudeness" but he's not very subtle in general so its blatant enough for Katherine to call him out on it. It's also a continuation of Sausage speaking more informally in general. He has something of an upper hand in the situation, and an abundance of bravado, and that is reflected in the way he talks. (Sausage just also has a very distinct voice in general that is already leant towards melodrama which works very well for the au's setting as a whole)

His apology is also disingenuous. In retrospect I should have probably used some italics or some other indicator to help convey that. (I might go back and edit something in. I do that sometimes on AO3. Major edits get notes made at the chapter end but minor fixes happen a lot.) He makes the "apology" and that connects Jimmy to his original statement, even if it hadn't been blatantly obvious.

"Oh, this one is new!" Sausage immediately changes the subject, pointing at one of the skulls hanging on the wall of the hall. It's some kind of middling-sized land animal...a sheep maybe? with poppies filling the eye sockets and woven in a crown, there are delicate lines of gold painted across the surface of the bleached bone. Katherine beams, her irritation at the rudeness forgotten (or at least set aside, fae never truly forget breaches of etiquette) "It is! It's a gift from a childhood friend," she looks fondly upon the skull for a moment. "We've been reconnecting lately." Sausage nods sagely, "It is always good to spend time with your friends." "It is," Katherine's ears twitch and her wings flutter briefly before she resumes walking. "Which is why we are going to fix this."

This is a slightly better attempt from Sausage at maintaining political etiquette by complimenting the host. A distraction and a peace offering.

And this is the first mention of Scott in the chapter, in what I am now realizing (it was not intended that way but here we go) is a context that kind of foreshadows his role of peace offering. It also is an establishing line for Katherine and Scott's relationship, as well as a nod to their short-lived plushie business (my beloved) from canon.(And the adaptation of it that exists in the au, which will come up later in Katherine's backstory at the very least.)

Sausage is being ingratiating here. It's a kind of wink wink nudge nudge "we should be friends and you should do what I want" moment.

Katherine knows what he is doing. This is also an incorporation of Katherine's inhuman characteristics, though a bit more subtly, specifically because this is Jimmy's pov and he is neither familiar enough with her mannerisms to break down exactly what they mean the way his own are, or unfamiliar enough with them to register them as odd and worth commenting on.

And then we have the POV switch to Xornoth

The entirety of Xornoth's external, out-loud dialogue is one single line, but the internal dialogue is their narration of the situation at hand. Ft. "helpful" commentary from Exor.

Xornoth's voice is arguably the trickiest part of the entire chapter as it is the part with the least canon basis. Xornoth is a character I am functionally building from scratch, given that the majority of their canon appearances are arguably as much Exor as they are Xornoth. (at least in the context of this AU)

Xornoth's canon voice (on a purely literal level) is "Scott Smajor with a script and a voice changer" and, on the occasions they are on screen together, "someone else with a script and a voice changer", and then the single epilogue bit.

So I'm working with somewhat stilted, formal speech and a tendency for dramatic declarations.

For this first chapter there was actually a bit more effort put into characterizing Exor, as, despite it being in their pov, the majority of the Xornoth characterization is happening in Chapter Two. (which is also mostly from their pov)

Honestly, this is already really long, I'll probably do the dialogue in the second part of the chapter as a part two, but I do want to put a compilation of Exor's commentary down here to talk about.

I opted to make Exor's dialogue bold instead of italics both to distinguish it from Xornoth's own internal dialogue and to emphasize how unavoidable it is for Xornoth. It's not something they can truly ignore, its too loud in their head.

Meaningless frivolity.

Disparaging commentary on the priorities of the other emperors and Jimmy in particular, leaning into one that Xornoth themself is inclined to agree with.

Do not pretend such reluctance. I see the truth.

Denying Xornoth's knowledge of themself in favor of asserting their own.

You are still only a student. And you will be so long as you refuse to take what is rightfully ours.

Exor's goal is and always has been (as long as Xornoth as known them) world domination. This is his most blatant statement of it, coupled with a disparaging comment towards Xornoth's own authority.

Like a fish on a hook.

Dehumanization with a side of violent imagery.

They are going to hurt themselves, trying that hard to utilize what little intelligence they have.

General scorn towards the intelligence and competence of the other emperors.

If we pinned her wings to the wall like a butterfly and made her watch, that would phase her. If we gutted him like a fish he'd squeal so nicely.

Violence. Rather graphic, worded in a way to make Xornoth/The Reader paint a stronger visual image to accompany it. These are the ones that both Exor (in-story) and I (out of story) designed to have a stronger impact. For Exor its about sowing thoughts in Xornoth's mind and having them doubt themself, for me its about really conveying Exor's intentions.

Rip them all to pieces, give the farmer the fight she wants.

This is a half-step back into a more friendly-aligned bit. Pearl is Xornoth's friend. A war would make her happy! Pearl is not Xornoth's biggest weakness, but she is one and Exor takes as much advantage of that as he can.

Wheat fields burn so easily, all it would take is a single spark in the right place and all of Mythland would be in flames. Carefully, carefully, Xornoth sets their book down on the table beside them and places their hands in their lap. Katherine will stop allowing them to borrow her books if they start spontaneously combusting them. Hopefully she doesn't notice the slightly singed cover.

Arson yay!

With the previous comments designed to rile Xornoth up the invocation of fire is a deliberate reference on my part to Xornoth's powers (with the follow up in the next paragraph) and on Exor's part is a provocation towards losing control/making it harder to stay in control of their powers.

Why do you consistently choose to prove your incompetence.

Even gods that crave violence can be disappointed.

this was equal parts chosen to add to the overall comedy of that exact moment and as a final nod to the way that, while he spends a lot of time tearing down other people in Xornoth's head, he also puts a lot of time into tearing down Xornoth himself.

-

I'm going to leave it there for now, if just because of length. I can come back and make a part two for Xornoth and the other emperors during the second part of the chapter later.

#rain rambles #marriage of state au #writer things #not sure how coherent this is #but here it is #long post is long

[sansloii]

Dissect your own writing style. What do you do most often? What do you want to take away from other writers (tag them if you want)? What is something you want to break out of?

when i started eons ago (2011/2012-ish), I had major issues with splicing-- where i felt the need to reply to every single thing in a response. even though it seemed like my muse was thoroughly engaged with whoever they were interacting with, it made my writing quite awkward since i would jump from one topic to another--from one focus to the next--and it didn't really flow well either. it wasn't pleasant to read and if i went back to re-read it, i found it very tedious. i would scan it, which is even worse because if i'm not properly re-reading it, why would anyone else, you know? i also struggled with many of the things most people did, which included dumping a thesaurus ( not to the point of purple prose ) into my writing and praying it would make it better.

anywho, i mention splicing first because it was the driving factor in me reshaping how i wrote and everything else either came after or changed with it.

style and structure

my current writing style is divided into three parts: Reaction, Thoughts, and Response. how these three are arranged are completely dependent on how the prior post in the thread left off but more oft than not, they are in that general order; my outlines ( when i do write them ) are in a similar order too. It has its upsides ( it makes it easier for me to direct a thread or a response to something because there's a structure ) and downsides ( if I'm not willing to compromise on structure here and there, it makes it difficult to frame my writing properly ). overall, though, it's helped me--as frustrated as i get with getting things down

reactions and thoughts tend to either take 2/3rds of a reply and a response takes up about 1/3rd. the reason why reactions and thoughts are bundled together is because, to me, they're more or less blended together by default and trying to section them out like "here's a reaction. then a thought" interrupts the flow of my writing. instead, they're layered together so it allows me to maybe going back and forth when a muse is reacting and/or thinking about what's happening in a moment. the response is, more oft than not, interacting with the other character if it wasn't included in the previous section and active dialouge. i've been guilty of having my muse say things, do things, and think things that don't push anything forward so at the end of a reply, i make sure to evaluate whether or not my muse has done anything of substance if needed.

things i've noticed i do a lot are:

repetition for emphasis ( e.g: he tried over and over and over again )

including phrases/descriptions/entire sentences that a partner used not necessarily in that thread/ask, but in another in order to make a connection between the muses a bit more apparent

splitting dialouge with an icon or with a singular line of thought

splitting dialouge with action that's not "he said, she tells, they laugh", etc. if i can

if there is a theme that is going to prevail throughout the entire response/ask, it's usually established in the first or second paragraph

i'm sure there are other things that i do but these are the few i've noticed because they're more of an active choice i make.

dialouge

something i also do that's not necessarily visible in my writing is that i repeat my dialouge to myself with the general mannerism of whichever muse is talking. so take for example, mikah and kurama ( @un1awful ). these shits do nothing but make jabs at each other if they're not actively engaged in something serious. as a result, they're very dialouge heavily. mikah's words have to be concise and sharp ontop of conveying bits and pieces of their ego because of who they're dealing with ( like here ). mikah's not threating kurama--so it can't be too aggressive or too insulting... but it also needs to convey that they want him to shut the fuck up without them outright saying "shut the fuck up", you know?

on the flip side, we have Andris, who also has ego and is also sharp.... but the way he is sharp is different. he has that "customer service" type of voice--very even and is intentional about what he says and how he says it. any bite he has tends to be a bit subtle. for example, here when he addresses seth ( @starpoacher ), he's teasing back but he's also still a little annoyed about seth barging in, hovering over his shoulder, etc., hence the use of "sir chef" instead of Seth's name. it comes and goes quickly because... it's seth and he will ultimately get over it, but that's how he tends to convey things.

it's a little awkward repeating dialouge to myself but it also helps me identify better ways to say something or to figure out if something is not quite right about a phrase my muse says. my muses also have different cadences when they speak so repeating them in that cadence does help when it comes to placing it in a reply and knowing where i can break it up, if needed.

what i want to take away from other writers + what i want to break out of

i require the ability to proofread better.

i don't think i'm the only one that thinks faster than i type and so, i forget words/sentences/etc. and don't catch it until i circle back for a second read... after i've posted it. it doesn't happen a lot but when it does i cringe so fucking hard.

i also have a bad habit of writing too much and not being willing to cut things out even if i don't like it, which stems from the mentality that "longer is better" and it's not. longer without substance is not better. longer with tedious language is not better. longer to the point of... not quite knowing what the point of the reply was is not better.

i've curbed a little bit of that through reading the threads and asks answered by others ( @un1awful, @rexpyre, @nezumivc103221, @bloodxhound, @royaletiquette to name a few ) and it's less to take from them and more to just... see how they write, i guess? and not necessarily things that i'm involved in but thing threads or asks i catch that are interesting to me. it helps to take a step back and not think so much about how i write things for a little bit and just... read something else--something that i have nothing to do with. in a way, it helps me be a little more objective with my own writing.

as much as i like my style and the way i write, seeing it over and over again makes me crave variety. i want to see how other people describe things or get from A to B. to that point, varying sentence structure is another thing at the back of my mind that.... i have a love-hate relationship with. on one hand, i can write something and be perfectly fine with it. on the other, i look at it and wonder why i have multiple long sentences like "[action/thought] and [action/thought]" right next to each other. it's that or a bunch of short sentences bundled together. sometimes, it's even a long and short sentence but they don't flow well like that... so they both need to change. i get though it somehow but not without some difficultly

Unprompted | @eternasci

#eternasci #🗪 ┊ ⧼ you all are some chatty cathys! ⧽ ⇹ ( asks. ) #ツ ┊ ⧼ catwalk talk ⧽ ⇹ ( ooc. ) #.i believed i answered everything #.and anything i didn't? yes i did #.thank you for the ask :) because woo-wee it's been a hot minute since i've analyzed my own writing #.and it took me a hot minute to reread things and pick them out

[amewinterswriting]

Something that troubles a lot of new writers is the concept of ‘idea theft’. They are reluctant to share their concepts or plans, even amongst peers, because they are concerned that people will steal their ideas. Because of this, they don’t seek feedback on their ideas and hinder their creative growth.

The thing is, ideas are cheap, they aren’t original and they cannot be copyrighted. As tough as that can be to hear, the sooner you internalise it as a creative person, the more opportunities for growth you will have. But let me explain a little bit.

Ideas are cheap. A very good practice for anyone writing is to carry around a small notebook (or utilise the notes function on your phone) and brainstorm ideas in your daily life. Catching the bus to work? Observe people. Take note of what buildings you pass. Notice road names. What is the story behind them? How did they get here? Where are they going? How about writing down as many names for WIPs as you can in five minutes? Bonus points if you can work in a pun or innuendo into them. Make notes of local slang and dialects in your area/language. The point is, you can fill a notebook with ideas relatively quickly. The hard part is deciding which ideas you want to dedicate more time to, fleshing them out, writing the many thousands of words, editing, editing, more editing. Not to say anything of actually getting the idea out there, whether via an agent and traditional publishing or going it alone. Why would someone steal an idea for monetary gain if they still have to do 99% of the work? They could be spending that time on their own ideas, and probably be happier to do it.

Ideas aren’t original. You’ve probably heard that there are seven basic plots (if not, I highly recommend searching it up) - while you might disagree with the number or type of plots there are, the vague premise is true - stories and story shapes, characters and archetypes, tropes and themes have all been around for thousands of years, and I promise you that you haven’t suddenly discovered a new one that has never been done before. The more you read and consume and analyse story-based media, the more apparent it will be: works reference the works that have gone before it, sometimes blatantly, sometimes with a wink and a smile, and most often, entirely subconsciously on the part of the author. All of this is part of our cultural makeup, whether you like it or not. We are a species of storytellers, drawing on the tales we remember to craft anew. The creative part of creative writing comes in when we choose how to combine these story elements to convey the story we want to tell. The specific addition of details, the reinterpretation of themes, the unique point of view of the writer - that’s where the originality is. Two people can be given the prompt: ‘a werewolf gets into trouble on the full moon’ and both people could write wildly different stories. The trouble could be danger from a monster hunter, or the actions they took while transformed and can only barely remember. Or they could be as clumsy as the average greyhound and get themselves tangled in a fence. Or their mother could be telling them off for marking their territory inside the house! Depending on your interpretation, it could be straight-up horror, comedy, or a metaphor for being drunk. 

Ideas cannot be copyrighted. Given the above paragraph on all ideas being part of our cultural consciousness, this is a good thing. Star Wars could not exist without drawing on the ideas of samurai films, westerns and fairy tales. Modern fantasy as a genre draws from Tolkien, who referenced folklore and Shakespeare and filtered it through his own lived experiences and cultural identity. Modern Dystopian YA would look very different without the previous ideas of Orwell, Heller, Huxley and Bradbury. If anyone could have locked those ideas away, never for anyone else to use again, we would be culturally poorer off, and creating anything would be such a legal nightmare that no one would ever be able to do it. 

All this to say that idea theft is rare, and even if it does happen, their interpretation of the idea will be different to yours. (That isn’t to say that full works don’t get stolen, and it is prudent to have some kind of way to prove that a manuscript is originally your work. That is a topic for another time.) But sharing your ideas, especially with other writers, is a great way to refine, polish, and clarify what your concept is. Feedback from others is one of the best ways we can grow as creative people and make our work the best it can be. It doesn’t need to be public, it might just be a private chat with a writer friend. But expose your idea to new points of view and see where it takes you. You might be surprised!

This essay is also available on my Ko-fi. You know, just in case something happens to Tumblr in the near future.

#on writing #writblr #creative writing #writers on tumblr #ideas #ame talks #writing #tough love

[pricechecktranslations]

What do you think about Mothy’s writing? I’ve been recently reading some reviews of Mothy’s first novel, both in English and in Japanese. All of them were saying the same thing: his writing is bad.

What do you think about it? Do you think his writing improved? If so, how well did it improve?

Just up front, I would be cautious about English reviews of his first novel (that is, the original Cloture of Yellow, not the VG version that I translated) because the only translation available for it is a steaming pile of garbage (and this translation was the only one available for Cloture at all for many years before I came along). I would take the word of the Japanese reviews alone on that.

(also worth noting that my translations of Cloture and Wiegenlied were my first completed book translations, so even my "good" translation is clumsier than it should be)

I will say though, yes--his writing at the beginning is very amateurish. But in my opinion there is noticeable improvement as the series goes on. I'll put a disclaimer in here though that it's pretty much impossible for me to look at this with an objective lens, being in the position I am. And that it's hard for me to judge Japanese writing standards overall--I haven't read a huge body of work actually in Japanese.

Mothy has a very brown prose, blunt style to his writing. This is what makes the initial novels in the series feel so clunky. He has a lot of exposition to deliver, but it's not always given in a very interesting manner, and it sometimes feels jarring. Actions are simply put and at times can feel silly. Emotions and thoughts are conveyed in a manner that's straightforward and without much wordcraft. And there are some times (both then and now, albeit) where he will just skip over an action sequence to get to its conclusion.

I think he's someone who envisions scenes largely in terms of visuals and dialogue, rather than words on a page (or maybe I just think so because I write that way). It's clear he has a solid picture of what's going on both action-wise and in the mind of each character, but not always the best way to convey the emotional and tonal impact of it to the reader.

I think a lot of what makes mothy's writing better in later books isn't that he's become more creative with his prose (although he has), or that his writing style has changed (it hasn't), but rather that he gets better at knowing when to provide detail, how much, and how to be more emotionally provocative with what he provides. The simpler the writing style, the more crucial it is to be able to encourage a reader to project onto a scene, and I think he just gets better at doing that.

...Eh, I don't know if I'm making sense here. Been a while since I read all of them and it's hard to compare. --The short answer is yes, I think his work improves in quality over time. It's definitely still genre fiction aimed at teens, he's not writing the Next Great Novel, but it no longer detracts from the actual thing I'm reading for, which is the characters and worldbuilding.

(I guess to give an example of what I'm talking about with being provocative, maybe...Cloture features a scene where Allen screams for an entire paragraph. This is extremely funny, and the scene is meant to be very sad. This is the kind of thing where encouraging the audience to imagine Allen's breakdown would have been more effective than just writing out the scream itself.)

#I do recall it being jarring to translate Praeludium after VG Wiegenlied #so maybe if you read them you'll notice it too #that his revised work is better than the book that was written years earlier #but i could be imagining it as well

[tinybed]

I love her and hate to see the negative media attention drawn, and im sure she fared no better under a predatory conservatorship... but look through the whole ig and tell me she is not posting like a mentally ill person

okay for one, i cant say for sure what a mentally ill person posts like because im not a professional, and thats what some ppl who are speculating arent understanding. second, a lot of people are just seeing one snippet of what she’s doing (dance routine) and judging her based on that alone even though dancing is basically what she’s done for her entire life. im willing to say most of the people reacting to her vids like she’s crazy are just basing it off that alone. thirdly (lol is that the right phrasing) i do know what you mean because i’ve read some of her posts on instagram that seem incoherent but i saw someone on reddit (lol again) kind of parcel her words into something that made sense (sorta translating it) and it made me realize that a lot of those long winded paragraphs she writes are actually conveying a coherent thought, but maybe not typed out as coherently as you or i may do it, which makes sense considering she only started writing her own posts like yesterday and she’s not a teenager who grew up on instagram or smthn. okay fourthly, i think it isnt for the sake of her mental health that strangers on social media + actual media outlets are posting out of context videos of her dancing and speculating about her mental state, i think its done selfishly and without care for the climate theyre creating around her public image. like i said, ppl speculating that she is “unhinged” are really just feeding into the same narrative that her parents and family used to control her decisions for her entire life. i mean we all know she’s been thru some shit, so im sure she has mental health issues. but there’s a difference between actually caring VS freaking out saying she is unhinged because she’s doing a dance routine w knives

#idk why i wrote that much im sorry lol

[pertinax--loculos]

Last Line Tag

I was tagged by @catchingbigfish -- thank you so much! ^_^ This comes from one of the play pieces I’m currently having fun with, affectionately acronymed as TE-YAL:

I drink about half of [the beer] while Jack sips his own, bottle in one hand, book in another. He’s turned five pages before he finally says, without looking up, “Why are you here?”

I take another mouthful of beer. It’s already starting to hit me, and for one insane moment I consider telling him the truth. But that’ll go down even worse than what I’d initially planned to say, and the more sensible side of my brain reasserts itself in time for me to say, “We need you.”

Jack scoffs. He’s always been good at conveying emotions without words.

“Jack—”

“No,” he says, eyes still on the page. “I don’t care what you’re doing. I don’t care why you’re doing it, I don’t care who you’re doing it for—”

“It’s for Darius.”

He falters. He’ll claim that he didn’t, but I know him better than that.

“I don’t care,” he says again, too vehement in his denial. “I’ve told you no.”

Additional unsolicited fun fact: the line it’s for Darius hit me out of nowhere while I was ruminating on this WIP. I did not have a character called Darius at the time, and it completely screwed up what little plot I’d been thinking about for it. So the entire thing’s changed and developed from there. But that’s the beauty of me just doing play pieces, really! ^_^

Tagging (no pressure!) for your last line/paragraph/whatever you’d like to share, directly from my notifs: @words-after-midnight, @aohendo, @nanashi23, @indecentpause, @oh-no-another-idea and @thegreatobsesso !!

#tag game #last line tag #WIP: TE-YAL #guys this thing is 10k words long #i'm writing so much #but i'm not SAYING ANYTHING #ugh #it makes no damn sense #compels me though

[dearestones]

For the writing ask, 8, 28, & 38 please! :) Hope ur having a great day <33

Hey, Devin here!

8. If you had to write an entire story without either action or dialogue, which would you choose and how would it go?

Oh my gosh, what a delightful question! Let's see...

I think it really depends on what characters I'm using and the scenario that I'm using them in! You see, I can write paragraphs upon paragraphs of scenery, building up to the characters interacting, and I can focus on their actions regarding each other. For me, when characterizing characters, it's not just the dialogue that is a part of them, but also their actions.

Do they twirl their hair when they're bored? Play with the uneven edges of old tables? Tap their feet against the legs of their chair?

On the other hand, I absolutely adore dialogue. With the right identifiers, pauses, and context given through words alone, you can convey what a character is doing, feeling, and how they are effecting their environment, others, and even themselves.

I don't know, you can take these elements by themselves and depending on your execution, can come up with extremely good pieces of fiction if need be.

Of course, if you say entire story... do you mean novel length or one-shot, drabble fic style? For my purposes, I can write a fic that is solely based on the descriptions of characters' actions for maybe... 1-2k words. Perhaps? As for dialogue heavy stuff, since we're focusing mostly on dialogue, maybe a little less or more than 1k.

I don't know, I think it would be an interesting challenge hehehe.

28. Who is the most delightful character you’ve ever written? Why?

Don't ask me this question! Hehehe!

Let's see....

In the past, it definitely would have been AE-3803 and U-2001 from Cells at Work, Veneziano (North Italy) from Hetalia, and Alastor from Hazbin Hotel.

As of recent memory, that honor belongs to Hacker from Akudama Drive, Tim Wright from Marble Hornets, and Jade Leech from Twisted Wonderland!

(I know, I'm cheating, but bear with me).

Let's break it down!

AE-3803:

She's so cute! Oh my gosh, she's wonderful, resilient, and she is a great foil to U-1146! I went into so many analysis posts between her and U-1146 on my main blog (especially back in 2020-2021) when I was writing my magnum opus of the time, the Abnormalities!verse. I won't get into too many spoilers, but my gosh, I took so many of the characteristics that are canon to her, and then I made her go through it. (What is it, you may ask? Well, I put her through the ringer and she is traumatized). She is delightful in the way that you know at the end of the day, you know she'll get back on her feet no matter how bruised and aching she may be. She'll rise above her traumas and look her tormentors in the eye with both compassion and understanding. But through it all, she will harden her resolve, her weak cell structure turning to steel. She is my baby and she has gone through so much! ;; That isn't to say she isn't wonderful in canon. She is. She serves as one of the more lighthearted aspects of the series and she is a wonderful companion to have when time gets tough, especially in the later chapters.

U-2001:

He's an old man! There's next to nothing about him in canon, but I always headcanon him to be such an old man who loves watching from the sidelines! He doesn't say much, but when he does, you can guarantee that he will be a deadpan snarker and will surprise you with either the world's greatest advice or the dirtiest joke imaginable and you will have to deal with that reality because no one will ever believe you. He is the blorbo that no one else wanted and I adopted way back in 2018. For the real ones who followed from my main blog and used to be bombarded by CAW (mah booiiiii!!!!)

Veneziano:

He's an old man with tons of issues buried underneath a concerningly fractured and thin veneer of clumsiness and ineptitude! I won't say more, but my gosh, I made an entire anthology series for him on ffnet and I participated in a week long event based on prompts which you can view on my main tumblr and on my ao3. Long story short, he is someone who you know has layers upon layers of trauma and personality underneath, but the thing you'll notice upon meeting him is that his smile is radiant, one that draws you in. It isn't until you take a step back that you realize that it's empty and quite sad.

Alastor:

He's a radio demon! It's been a while, but someone once requested to have a deaf! reader x Alastor one shot way back when... and let me tell you... The process behind that fic was something else. Just... I don't know what to say. The zaniness behind his radio personality and the evil that lurks behind his ever present smile? That stuck with me while writing him.

Hacker:

He's a maverick in a world filled with other mavericks! In my fics, I always think him more of the cycnical, younger brother archetypes. It's such a shame that Akudama Drive was short as it was, but from what little of what I've seen of Hacker, he is such a neat charaacter??? I love him so much. His snark, deadpan delivery at times, and snark was a definite bonus when viewing the anime for the first time. Furthermore, his relationship with the main character was also great? They were such an iconic sibling duo who I would die for because the feels! All of the feels! Not only that, but his character plays off the other zany and almost nonsensical rules and other players in the anime. Back when a lot of people used to request me for Akudama Drive, interactions besides x readers were in high demand and seeing some of the weirdest combinations for interactions were the highlight of my day. Seeing him play off with other character archetypes was always a joy to me because he could range from disgruntled, tsundere little brother to someone who can be gigantic thorn in someone's side because he's a little shit who knows too much.

Tim Wright:

He is a man who I can project my fears and mental issues on. That's it. Okay, I kid, but there are so many other people who can write an analysis on him and be loads better than what I can say. What I will admit, however, is that he showed me that life is possible even after years of trauma and repression. That it is worth keeping moving forward, to seek help when possible, and to face the past in order to ultimately heal. In one of my fics, I had to put myself in his shoes and when I did... I just felt simultaneously bittersweet and sad, but at the same time, determined to move forward--to be compassionate and kind.

Jade Leech:

He is the eely perfect character. Nothing else should be said. Hahahah! I'm not sure how obvious it is, but I love Octavinelle as a whole. The aesthetic, the non-human characteristics, the strange things they say or do that denotes them as merfolk and therefore other than humans... It's all there! I could have easily said the same for Azul and Floyd, but with Jade, there's also the underlying philosophy of how the sea works underneath his veneer of a gentleman. He's somewhat cold and calculative, like a scientist who doesn't have the moral or ethical wherewithal to stop experimentaing, hahah! Yet, at the same time, he isn't cruel or needlessly malicious, he's bored and just wants to have fun. He tickles my brain just right and writing his internal observations and what he takes note of is what really gets me.

Have you figured out what are my favorite aspects are when writing characters? ;D

38. What is something about your writing process YOU think is Really Weird? If you are comfortable, please share. If you’re not comfortable, what do you think cats say about us?

I... I don't have a writing process?

I know there are lots of people who say that you have to use outlines or write blurbs or jump back and forth in the timeline, but like...? I don't?

I usually just write as a train of thought and then it happens to turn into a story. Of course, there's the proofreading part, but that usually occurs after I let the fic simmer for a day or two before posting.

Also, I downloaded this extension where everything I type makes a typewriter sound.

It's awesome and it helps me focus.

And the inclusion of listening to the same song on repeat is also a great addition to the writing process.

Thanks for the questions and I hope that you have a wonderful day! :D

Feel free to ask more! :D

#fjshii ask #fjshii #devintrinidad #dearestones #akudama drive #akudama hacker #akudama drive hacker #cells at work #hataraku saibou #ae-3803 #ae3803 #u2001 #u-2001 #hetalia #aph veneziano #hws veneziano #tim wright #marble hornets #mh tim #marble hornets tim #alastor hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel #jade leech #twisted wonderland #twst #twst jade #twst jade leech #information about Devin #ask game

[drunktuesdays]

hi Lea! i love your blog and your fics! i got into wrestling rpf bc of you lol do u have any advice for someone who struggles with their vocabulary when writing fic? I like to think I read a lot but my fics feel very dry

This is SUCH a nice ask, thank you for sending it!!!!!

i think all of us struggle sometimes with thinking our writing is too dry. especially in opening scenes where you're trying really hard to orient your reader in that particular story's space, time, and universe, it's really really easy to focus on the function of the scene and drop style. i've DEFINITELY done it and had to go back and moisten it all up.

i think honestly the best thing you can do is read other people's stuff. read in fandoms you're not in. read anything you find interesting. make notes when you find a phrase that tickles your fancy. don't steal the entire sentence wholesale obviously, but when you like a turn of phrase, remember it. keep a google doc with odds and ends that you enjoy. halfhardtorock had a now-deleted fic where they had derek fingering stiles, and used the phrase "stiles cats into it." objectively insane, you don't really see anyone using cats as a verb like that, but it's so evocative, you can picture exactly what they mean. and i've remembered it for like ten years. and someday i'm gonna be writing the perfect scene for me to use cat as a verb in that way, and it's gonna be glorious. i won't steal the sentence obviously. literally please don't plagiarize anyone, but just appreciate great word choices!!! notice when other people are doing cool things, and take note of what you like about it! discuss it with your friends! i think it makes me a stronger and more thoughtful writer every time i finish a story and then immediately open a (PRIVATE) dm to a friend to dissect everything i liked and everything i would have done different in a work.

the other most valuable piece of advice i think i can pass on is actually a little mortifying, it's like, okay am i going to rec chuck palahniuk right now? unfortunately yes....i can't get the site with the original essay to load so i'm just going to link a tumblr post with it. I don't think it's necessary to actually go through the exercise of BANNING yourself from thought verbs, but it IS really helpful to start picking it out when you realize you're doing too many. i tend not to REALLY love doing a lot of inner monologue, and frankly i'm not that good at it, so it's really helpful for me personally to sit there and say to myself, okay what do i want to convey here and how do i convey it without just saying "dustin thought jim looked hot." it's a good exercise to police yourself about it sometimes, especially if you are worried things are coming out dry. ESPECIALLY check for the thesis statement paragraphs he talks about. that's one of the easiest things you can check and eliminate, because once you start noticing it, you realize how little you need it.

#as always when i talk about my theories of writing and what i think it should look like #i do it with the humility of knowing that this is just what i like and what i think #and i am just a very simple moron #and that a very good writer can break any of these guidelines easily and with ease and i'd probably enjoy it #and if you like writing a different way please enjoy yourself #i am not the cops

[just-shipgirl-thoughts]

Advice on the word "Says."

First off, anybody who's ever told you that you can't use it for risk of sounding cringe-y or too word-y or what-the-hell-ever?

Completely disregard that.

They can suck a nasty one out of satan's taint for all I care, I have a personal hatred for this specific line of advice because it stymies how creative you can get with your sentences.

Second off, the true purpose of this post, I aim to tell you how to more effectively use the word Says, because scrambling around for synonyms of the word Says is inefficient, soul-sucking and costly, time-wise.

So, without much further ado, jumping in.

Some people will try to tell you that says is uncreative or just plainly shouldn't be used more than one time in a paragraph or two, which is fucking ridiculous, because there are only so many words in the dictionary to make use of, and I go through a good majority of them in one paragraph.

Personally, I make more use of Says than I do any of its synonyms, because it's flexible, while its synonyms are more specialized.

Take, fucken, uh, chirp, for example.

If somebody Chirps at me, the first thing I think of is a high pitched, upbeat and short noise, which for a sentence, translates to something like a one or two word response, usually made with bright gigawatt grin, either in innocence or to crank the little-shit-o'-meter up to 11.

Example:

|+|+|+|+|+|+|+|+|+|

"You seriously rolled me out of bed at six AM just to tell me that you saw a kitten outside?" Blake asks in a dead voice, feeling twenty times her age.

"Yup!" Ivy chirps, smiling widely, innocently, like she didn't just commit one of the gravest sins known to man, which is fucking waking her up early on a goddamn Tuesday morning.

"Drop dead," she says flatly, shuffling away and collapsing face first into the couch with a groan.

"Aww, how sweet!" Ivy croons unrepentantly right next to her ear, to which she replies with a too-tired indecipherable grumble.

|+|+|+|+|+|+|+|+|+|

Chirp might be a synonym of Says, but it conveys an entirely different meaning depending on the sentence subtext.

Snarl, croon, rumble, roar, scream, shriek, all of these words and more, they might be related to the same core word, but they all mean their own individual things.

You can't use chirp as a synonym for snarl just because you ran out of one or the other, because that messes with the dialogue flow and changes the meaning, but you can use either as a synonym for says if you feel it fits more with the sentence.

Basically, don't feel obligated to constantly be changed around your synonyms for says, just use it where it's more convenient in any given situation and use the synonyms for specification.

#bis rants #writing #writing advice #writer's advice #fic advice #writers on tumblr #does this make sense? #i hope it makes sense

[fizzycherrycola]

✨ and 🎶 and ⛔ please! <3

Fanfic Writer Ask Game

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

Aw, geez. I think I have decent grammar and control of language? Not on the level of an expert poet, God no, but decent. And based on the feedback I've received from others, I'm good at writing descriptions. 

On that, actually. I think I should mention I have a background in visual art. It’s my career. Likely, it’s helped me when choosing my phrasing, for say, the colour of a bird. So when describing a scene, if I can’t see it (in my mind) when I read back the paragraph, then neither will my readers. I love including those little details, even if they’re “unnecessary” to the plot, because it feels a bit like painting. I’m building up a world or a character with words, layering on detail. And like with art, you capture emotions with those words, and attempt to convey them to your audience.

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

Yes, all the time! I cannot function without background noise. I stick to classical music playlists or lofi hip-hop streams. I find that music with lyrics will distract me from writing, and I'll just sit there listening to some pop song before noticing I've totally lost my train of thought. Pre-writing music is another story, though! If I'm starting a happy fic, I'll turn on the radio and listen to whatever the Top 40 Hits are today. For something more moody, I'll put on Low Roar's entire discography.

⛔ Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?

I don't scrap my fics, ever. There are two that I've abandoned, 'The Hours That Remain' and 'Moonlight Desires' (nsft). You can find them on my AO3, if you're curious, but I warn you they were written ages ago and are a bit messy. I was a less experienced writer when I wrote them, but despite that, I'd rather not delete them. Old fics reflect growth and there are some readers who've told me that they enjoyed them. It'd feel wrong to just scrap those stories.

Thanks so much for asking, cake!!

#fizzy talks #writers on tumblr #fanfic authors #ask box #ask game

[seeingteacupsindragons]

Do you by any chance have any mental health writing tips? I find that when I'm writing about mental health issues, which often come from personal experience (but not always), I find it difficult to translate these experiences into words in a way that genuinely conveys them to the reader, even if it's something I've felt myself.

The original showed up when you sent the new one, Nonnie, wtf.

This depends on a lot of factors, some of which you've addressed in your ask, but which I want to lay out anyway for others.

First, what kind of mental health issue it is? Personality disorders vs psychosis vs mood disorders, etc, are all wildly different not only in symptoms and presentation but also often in a person, character, or narrator's perception of themselves, their symptoms, and reality. And they all change the way a person thinks differently, which needs to be reflected in, well, their behavior, their voice, and their narration.

Second, what perspective and POV is the mental health issue being written from? Depression looks very different observed by an outsider than it feels. If someone is frustrated with symptoms of someone else's bipolar disorder, that's going to influence the way it gets written and discussed as opposed to someone being frustrated with their own. Or if someone is much more forgiving than the mentally ill person, or it's a psychiatrist, etc.

Third, what knowledge of the symptoms does the person have? If someone has been clinically depressed for twenty years, they’ve probably developed coping techniques and can recognize coming spells. If someone is having their first psychotic hallucinations but schizophrenia runs in the family, they're probably terrified, but they have some idea of what's happening and they've seen it from another angle before. If someone is just having a complete mental break from trauma, they have no idea what to do next. And if someone has a lifelong personality disorder, they might not even recognize their symptoms for what they are, because they have always experienced the world that way.

I tend to write very close third person POV, so I write what the character is experiencing how they're experiencing it (and first person, the effect is very similar). I pulled up the last time I wrote a PTSD event, because I remembered really liking it. It's too long to really shove in the post, but here are some techniques I used on reviewing it:

Started with thoughts that triggered the attack tumbling over and over in the narration without any filters or acknowledgment that they were slightly twisted from reality--but the pain came from an event the reader saw in a previous scene, so they would be somewhat aware that his mind is not a Good Place. The longer you can keep a character going like that, talking over and over and over themselves, can really give the impression of racing thoughts. Normally it's not great to have several paragraphs of internal monologue with no action, but in limited use and as a break from the rest of the narration, it really does emphasize that the character's mental state has completely removed itself from reality.

Followed with concrete physical symptoms of the attack: choking on air. Feeling like they were suffocating. Didn't say where or why they came, just that this is happening now.

Action--what's happening around him while he's freaking out, what triggered it and how it's interacting with his symptoms (making it worse; of course it's making it worse).

There's a plaintiveness to the narration at this point to show how much he's suffering and wants it all to stop. His thoughts have shifted now from the racing thoughts that spiraled him into the attack to desperation for escape and hopelessness because he doesn't think he can, but the narration is entirely focused on the trapped-ness of the situation.

Other things I've also done in similar situations is changing up the narrative style completely: switching perspective from third to first or using another kind of narrative voice that isn't present in other scenes.

Typically, when writing a character who is having a mental health break, what you want to do is write as if what they're experiencing is the only possible reality. Because that immerses the reader in what's happening to them. If you need to make it clear it's not, then you can have other characters in the scene react in ways that are diametrically opposed. If the character is hallucinating, everyone else is confused and not seeing it, or the reader can easily tell they're just being placating. If the character is having an anxiety attack for some reason, no one else is bothered. If someone is absorbed in their own narcissism, say, have them be violently confronted with the fact that other people simply are not viewing the world the same way.

I find that personal experiences can be very difficult to write about. I have a number of journals from my teenage years about my mental health and how I felt at the time and hoo boy, I was Going Through Some Shit, and it's very jarring to read now and know I genuinely felt every shred of that. And that's cathartic.

But writing something when you're feeling badly about it can also really immerse you in that pain, and it's not always a productive place to write fiction from. You may very well have to edit it when you're in a better space, knowing it's going to be confusing and not very effective writing. You may have to write it very slowly because trying to manage your own mental health and the clarity you need to write effectively is troublesome.

So there's also just the fact that writing mental health stuff is hard because it hurts, and pain hurts to get really close to, even in fiction.

And that I think ends this brief thesis on this topic. I hope you found it helpful. If not, yell for more.

#writing #mental health

[crowned-ladybug]

1, 6 (ik you do but I'm very curious on the process), 9, and 21 for the writers asks! ♡

As typical it's taking me ages to actually get to these I'm sorry!!!! Thank you for the ask tho anyway <3

1) Who is your favorite character to write for and is this the character you find easiest to write for?

With all the characters over the years this is a tough one to pick out but proooobably Benrey still. He's got very fun internal monologue in my hands and you can fuck around a Lot writing him, and that does in fact also make him Easy. He's always come pretty naturally to me which explains a thing or two about my HLVRAI fics i'd say sbhdcbhdcbs

(Recent honorable mention to Sam bc he's also been proving surprisingly fun and then Dima destroyed me by saying his POV is the closest to how i talk on discord out of all the characters they've read me write so far)

6) Do you outline your fics? If so, how?

I start with the notepad app and trying to do a relatively basic lineup of just what scenes are gonna happen, so that I can have the pacing and order of things down. I hardly ever go in with a full lineup of scenes/plot already laid out in my brain, so this is where the fic is first actually born

This works half the time, giving me about a sentence for a whole scene, and then other times i end up outlining an entire scene on the spot

Then comes copying the thing over into an actual document that isn't fuckin exhausting to look at and thus the second pass of rounding out the scenes I haven't accidentally outlined well enough already

My outlines have been getting more detailed lately, so here's to believing in ghosts in specific had a Lot of bits near the end where i was just copying notes over almost word for word bc i had entire paragraphs laid out already. Other times stuff gets left at "and then they talk about [topic]" level of detail until i get to it and have to suffer

A lot of fleshing out also happens on the fly while I'm writing a completely different scene or not writing at all and then have to tab back over to the outline and add like two sentences that i cannot allow myself to forget

It's hard to pick a good example without drowning this post but this was the outline for the first scene of poison in the ashes, for comparison's sake

(I very rarely use any dialogue tags at all when outlining unless they're Significant already. I either just know who's talking anyway or if there could be any doubt, I use a chat format instead)

9) Do you visualize scenes in your head before you write them? (Can you picture the setting, character body language etc)

YES

I am a Very visual person so a Lot of the times I'm trying to put entire movie scenes onto paper and even when that's not so painfully the case, I always have the visual counterpart in my brain. Things are always pictured. Hanging onto very Very specific line deliveries which i cannot convey in text is what's less often tho, and thus sadder to forever only be in my brain, unable to hand to anyone

(I've gotten compliments on specific scenes feeling movie-like before and every time it's such huge thing to hear, that the image not only got onto the paper but also into someone else's head)

21) Writers choice - pick any of these questions that you want to answer.

14) What is something you wrote in a fic that you are hoping readers picked up on but you don't know if they did? And/or, what is something that you were excited that readers did pick up on?

There's always stuff and hardly any confirmation one way or another, however very specific example from recently: the way the first collapse scene in poison in the ashes is arranged was very much a callback to the concussion scene in and what comes tomorrow that I never expected to be picked up on and then Dima screamed at me about it so much :D

Also from poison in the ashes: when in one scene they talk about bad tea, and Rafe tells Sam to just tell him to make some next time, and then the next day Rafe is in fact the one making the tea while Sam loiters. Very on purpose. Of all the things Sam has to fill Rafe in on every morning he's decided to include the tea

#not art #ask games #kata's chatter #THANK YOU!!!!! <3 sorry i took so long #it was Partially bc i was writing so at least thats half an excuse

[coffee-queen448]

For the writing asks: 3, 10, and 33! As an added bonus, pick one that you personally want to answer.

Hello hello and thank you for taking the time to ask these! <3

3. How would you describe your writing style?

A: In a word? Verbose. LOL. I love long, complex sentences and thick juicy paragraphs full of witty wordplay and vibrant imagery. (Whether I hit this mark instead of just aspiring toward it, who can say?) I tend toward purple prose if I'm not careful because I see things so brilliantly in my mind's eye and I want to convey it on the page. Also anyone who hates adjectives can pry them from my cold, dead hands.

10. Top three favourite fic tropes.

A. Only three?! Aww. Okay, I'll try to narrow it down.

1. Enemies to Friends to Lovers (a classic!)

2. Angst with a Happy Ending (all hurt no comfort? No thanks)

3. Porn Without Plot (now all of Tumblr knows my shame xD )

33. Give your writing a compliment.

A. It's pretty funny, at least in the quirky, off-beat kind of way my sense of humor runs. It may not be everyone's cup of tea but my crack and borderline crack fics still, well, crack me up, at least.

BONUS:

34. Do you write to improve? Or is that not a concern for you?

A: I do, yes! I love the craft and art form of writing and I definitely want to get better at what I love. I'm the kind of nerd that buys and reads books on theme and is a total story structure geek. I have entire PC folders and bookmarks folders stuffed full of writing articles.

That said, I am NOT good at taking criticism from people I don't know, and nothing can kill my motivation like unsolicited criticism.

(This is not aimed at anyone in particular! I'm only mentioning it because for me, I have to be in a pretty good place with my writing to reach out to anyone to critique it and trust that the person I reach out to has the story's best interests - and mine as a writer - in mind. I had someone just tear into one of my fics years ago, and though their advice was objectively correct and sound, it not only killed my confidence as a writer, but I stopped writing for years after that because I didn't think I was good enough to write, let alone share it with anyone else.)

Tl;dr: I definitely want to improve and am always in the market for new techniques to try, though I am genuinely apprehensive of asking other people for their thoughts and input to objectively determine if I have, in fact, improved and have, in fact, written something that someone NOT me would want to read.

Thank you again!

#writing ask game #ask game #i answer asks #i say things