#oh mom

[violetsiren90]

Bless my mother, who called to check on me today because the last of "my boys" were leaving.

Bless her for sending me pictures of the guys from Twitter - as if I hadn't been staring at them all morning - to excitedly mention that at least I get to see Yoongi, who she thought looked so cute.

Bless her for choking up on the phone when I mentioned that Jungkook seemed like he was tearing up at the end of his live.

Bless her for answering, when I asked her why she was getting so emotional, that because I talk about and love them so much they feel like her sons, and that she has been crying on and off all day and hopes they'll be healthy and that the people they encounter treat them with kindness.

Bless her. 💜

#oh mom #ilysm #bangtan forever

[gods-of-kanto]

FT Trio! What do you think of Hisui Zoroark?? Or other Hisui Pokémon??

Indigo: I've never seen one?

Ash: Are they not Normal Zoroark?

Peach: We found a small colony of them up in the mountains, but we havent exactly been able to tell if they're ready for the world just yet. They're incredibly people shy, so they've never really met a human before.

Peach: Hisuian Pokemon we're finding more of. Its so strange, but i dont know enough about Hisuian to really be able to tell whats from there and whats not, never even heard of that region beforem

#professor peach #champion ash #kanto prince indigo #They dont know its a past region lost in time #Oh mom #So smart and so silly sometimes #One day ill take you! #post

[onlyonewoman]

I’ve been visiting my family for five days and I just love how my dearly beloved mother cannot grasp how her daughter, who got burnt out from her writing related job and then started writing fanfics, slowly regaining a love and happiness for writing again after more than 10 years of feeling dread from it, doesn’t want to write to earn money again. Mom: But you’re so GOOD at writing, why don’t you try and earn MONEY from it? Me: Because writing to make money turned me ill for years...? Mom: But you’re so gifted! There are magazines you could write short stories for! Me: You’ve said that for fifteen years at least, and I’ve tried to tell you that being an autistic, genderfluid nerd who literally can’t get through a modern heterosexual love story without feeling sick, doesn’t make a good story writer for old womens magazines... Mom: But your could make MONEY from it! Me: Yeah, no, it’s not that easy and you of all people should know that, as a former journalist. Mom: But you’re so goooood at writing!!! Me: You’re right. Your daughter is fairly good at writing, especially gay porn, explicit torture, angst and male pregnancies without a single female character. Mom: I don’t want to hear about this! Me: But that’s what I’m really successful with, you know... Mom: A mother doesn’t want to hear such things! Me: Well, this daughter doesn’t want to hear about writing heterosexual, romantic short stories aimed at women who think 50 shades of abuse is hot and maaaaybe earning a little bit of money from it. I have emotionally disturbed gay sorcerers and mobsters to fuck up, I don’t need more work. Mom: But... Me: Do you want to know what the most popular gay torture story I wrote contains? Mom: No! Me: THEN STOP NAGGING OR YOU’LL GET DETAILS! Just because I’m good at gay torture porn, doesn’t mean I’m good at “he looked at her and she looked at him” stories for boomers! I love my mom, but sweet Yiling Patriarch, sometimes I wish she would learn when to drop a subject. For 7 years now, we’ve had this kind of convo at least once a year and one day I might loose my shit and send her my xuexiao ABO series, my bigchan daddy kink story and the rape victim to rapist to lover story with juice and tully, damnit!

#oh mom #i love you but oh dear #learn when to stop #xuexiao #bigchan #juice x tully #yexie

[ilikecarsandlike4people]

My mother, 47, a computer engineer, just called me to come and delete a facebook post for her. Love her😂❤️

#oh mom

[rock-a-noodle]

"SHUT THAT OFF!"-my mom after I showed her the clip from South Park of Mr. Garrison burning Lambchop

#shut up kelly #mr. garrison #lambchop #fire #south park #i showed my mother her first and probably her only ever clip from south park :P #oh mom

[lilliesthings]

i am so sad that reid wont be on the revival idk if i will watch :(

I'm so sad too not gonna lie (my constant whining in friend's dms can attest 😄) especially since I really like the new format, less case of the week, more dwelling on character's lives, and it's fair if don't feel up to watching it!

I think part of me always believes that until they say he's gone for good then he's not gone for good? A là Emily Prentiss, I went through it when I thought I wouldn't see her again and then I did and she's here now! Spencer and Matt are on their secret special assignments and the future will tell, but I like to be hopeful about it. Hey to this day I still believe I'll see Derek Morgan again 😂

CM makes me feel a little emotional in general and the thought of it and the whole universe in which it exists just coming to a halt made me sad, so I'm happy to see the familiar places and people again, everyone especially Emily and Luke, what's up with their lives, and I'm curious to get any insight on what's up with Reid, and hopefully this will get me out of this current state of mental exhaustion because I miss drawing him even though I draw mostly him lol

#ask #going back home for the holidays and my mom who's watched 5 episodes in total learned about the revival #and told me to 'bring back some of the ritz show' #hddjd #thats how she pronounces reid if you couldn't tell #she still doesn't know and refuses to correctly pronounce that foreign name hdksnsjeh #oh mom #criminal minds #Spencer Reid

[classyansassy]

My mom was on her phone and a video started playing loudly and she said “Oh excuse me!” before silencing it and it felt like the equivalent of excusing a fart.. a digital fart 😂

#I had to write this somewhere and I don’t do twitter anymore #oh mom

[zainmalik]

.

#my mom keeps confusing harry and louis #she’s playing sign of the times and asked me if he’s the one i’m seeing in concert #oh mom #jackie.txt

[sunflowercider]

Not to out my mom, but this is the funniest cry for help i've ever seen from her

"Hiiii i love youuuu also for the love of god im dying. Tee hee <3"

#oh mom #<3 #apparently the grooms mother drove her there. shes not leaving. anytime soon 😭

[inkskinned]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

#this is true #writeblr #warm up #relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes #amongst the Siblings #is like - ''this is so good u will love it'' #while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting #like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good'' #to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good #(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and #like. we're GONNA try the new thing.) #edit to answer why we had so much vanilla: #my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house. #it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out'' #even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter. #my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract #to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids #so like she was right to stock up #ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that #u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it #> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes #> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out) #listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9 #when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it. #3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters #i am the middle child #out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite

[egophiliac]

You can’t pick Lilia for this. But who is your other favorite short character in Twst?

I like the angry little king boy 🌹

#art #twisted wonderland #sorry epel and ortho i like you guys a lot too! #oh and grim i guess #wait how many other shorties are there in twst #anyway i have a lot of affection for episode 1 and for riddle's character arc #he is a terrible little bastard who is trying very hard to be a slightly less terrible little bastard #and i have feelings about his friendships with trey and cater and che'nya especially! #and how that relates to his upbringing and his dumpster fire of a mom and uhhhhhh you know. everything. #i don't know how to do the words about all the thoughts i have on fictional characters #me waving my hands frantically in the air: it's about LOVE and wanting to be LOVED this is what twst is ABOUT -- #(i am dragged bodily offstage by my collar)

[caruliaa]

staff still hasn't given me polls, what should i do?

🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪 their moms 69%

🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪 their dads 31%

grace image os i get to look at her

#edit: edited the og post to what i want but to set the record straight i edited to the post to be mathematically correct right after the #first person pointed it out which was like ten mins after i posted the og post. now fuck offf !!!!! the rest of the tags r from the og post #for some reason i feel very immature making your mom jokes about tumblr staff. which i shldnt !! #bc they suck nd they still havent given me polls. but i ig i feel imature bc it a your mom joke 😭 but still i tihnk its kinda funny #EDIT: edited the post to what i want bc yall were getting annoying . but to set the record straight i edited to post to be mathematically #also its *mum* not mom okay i am NOT !! an american . but if i say mum everyone will j be like 'omg british' like i dont know i am #anyway. i want polls please. give me the rigght to force my mutuals chose between the most inane things #also i tihnk it wld b cool for the cs weekly blog. like w each episode #i cld do a poll of like. out of five stars what do u think of this ep #and it wld b a cool thing of which eps r ppls faves #also i cld have like. whose ur fave in team red whos ur fave in acme etc #id prob just have to go with vile faculty bc theres more than 10 ppl in vile. and ppl wld kill me if i didnt include nel the ell or whoever #it wld b fun !!! #oh btw csweekly thats i thing i want to start. prob on uhhh the 11th of feb ill post abt it more but its basically #a tag/blog for watching cs one ep a time watching one ep every saturday #ya !! :3 #flappy rambles #inaccessible #ask to tag #(<- idk. just in case)

[ipostmysimpingstuffanonymously]

This week's Discord Prompt!

JJK X OHSHC

Find @cocoabell drawing here

#warning! hc dump in the tags #it just FITS SO WELLL EXCUSE ME #like satoru is such a obnoxious brat he fits tamaki so well #oh if gege was one generation younger i swear to god he'd state ooch as his inspo instead of hxh and macros #and shoko being haruhi??? same unbotherednes it just fits #geto being Mom??? AHAHHAHAHAHA #mommy and daddy present lmao #ah and haibara and nanami AAAAAAAAAA #yuji just simply fits because of sukuna #im on a rewatch with cocoabells and we're having the time of our lifes #jjk #fanart #jujutsu kaisen #gojo satoru #shoko ieiri #geto suguru #yuji itadori #sukuna #nanami kento #yu haibara #ouran high school host club #crossover #au #IPMSSA_Tokyo5!Fanart

[sadclowncentral]

What uh. What's the frog story 👀

back when i was in second grade, my elementary school organised a school market with every class selling their crafts for charity. the contribution of my class were hand-sized ceramic frogs we made in art class. each one of us made one of them to be sold for five euros a piece (this is important later). the quality of the frog i made varies drastically based on who is telling the story, and for reasons that will become very apparent later there is no way to check, but i stand by the fact that it was average looking, if a bit wonky.

the day of the market arrived, and all frogs were bought within minutes, snatched up by enthusiastic and proud parents. all except - mine. because my mother hates spending money on unnecessary things, and she hates children's crafts even more. so she - loudly and vehemently - refused, in her thick eastern european accent, to "spend five euros on an ugly frog".

i will never forget seeing my ceramic frog alone on the slightly wet cardboard, surrounded by the imprints left behind by the already sold frogs. all the while other parents are getting more and more agitated, trying to get my mother to put the frog out of its misery. eventually, she budged, and spend five euros on a wonky frog. she was absolutely furious about this.

so furious, in fact, that when we came home to where my father was remodelling the kitchen, she WALLED IT IN. that's right. she cask of amadillo'd that poor ceramic fool. put him into the open wall and slapped concrete over it faster than my poor seven year old self or my dad could protest. out of pure anger over loosing five euros. and that's where it remains, until this day.

my mom hates when this story is brought up, which is why we bring it up all the time. she also thinks she what she did was right, because "do the other parents know where the frog is? no. only your creation is safe. because i love you." morally, i would disagree, but on a pure factual basis, she has a point.

i made her another ceramic frog for her last brithday, which was not buried like some pharaoh, and everytime guests compliment it my brother loudly goes "oh you should see the other frog he made" and when they ask to see it, he points at the wall. this is hilarious to him and infuriating for my mother. and that's the frog story.

#my mom is insane but she loves us to be very clear #everyone who i tell this story irl goes oh yeah. that makes sense. #it is my thesis statement.

[nerdpoe]

Selina has her eye on a one-of-a-kind jewel.

The museum it's in have no idea what kind it is, just that it was a leftover result of an attack on Earth by some dimension called the Infinite Realms.

And, well...it's really very beautiful.

Diamond white and abyss black and frosty blue, constantly shifting colors, emits cold, constantly generating frost so that it's shimmering in the lights.

It's unique. It's stolen from another dimension. It's gorgeous.

She wants it.

So; she takes it.

She...can't really bring herself to take it to a magic user to return it just yet.

Mostly, she keeps it in a glass, temperature controlled container in her apartment.

Harley and Ivy think it's pretty, but they don't really experience the same draw that Selina does.

She resolves that she will contact the Infinite Realms to ask if it's something they want back in...a week.

One week turns into one month.

One month turns into four months.

Four months turn into a year.

For that year, the beautiful jewel sits in it's protected case, and Selina ogles it when she's a bit too stressed. Every day, it seems to get brighter and shinier.

She isn't driven by compulsion, no-she knows herself too well. She knows damn well she's being driven by greed.

Then one day, as she's staring at it-the jewel starts to glow. The glass case shatters. A form begins to shape out of frost and-possibly-space.

And then there is a teenager, sitting bewildered in her apartment. All wild white hair and wide green eyes, shock written into his very expression.

He stares at her.

She stares at him.

"...So, not to be weird, but why are my instincts telling me you're my mom?"

#dpxdc #dcxdp #dp x dc #dc x dp #phanfic #story prompt #the first time he goes human he gives her a heart attack #because #“oh no i'm becoming bruce” #but her possessiveness of Danny's core #her providing a protected place for it to flourish #offering it “love” (it was greed but whatever) #made his ghost side go #“oh is this mom? this is mom.” #now they both get to deal with the consequences of that

[rock-a-noodle]

"The cat...pooped."-my mom when my brother scared the cat.

#shut up kelly #my cat #baby angel #pen pen #oh mom #unsanitary #siblings tag #poor baby got scared.....