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troutfur · 1 year

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Oké, I'm bringing a last-minute kit to SandClan, if you're still open: it's a long haired grey-white tom with a darker, blurred mackerel tabby "cape". (I'd say he's half white-half grey.) He has a grey patch on his chest and an asymmetrical white triangle on his face, and he'll grow up into a rather large cat. His name is Martenkit. (If that name is setting-appropriate; feel free to change it to any suitable musteloid xd)

Featherstorm looks up from his chart as he finishes pondering what to say to his parents. "He'll be an asset to the Clan," he finally settles on. "Nurture his light of optimism and we'll all be better off for it."

---

Don't you worry! This fictional desert already has to accomodate cacti, cobras, fennecs (coming up in an ask!), and I'm pretty sure just there we have like. 3 different deserts, hahahah. Ah well. I was originally imagining SandClan in the American southwest but I suppose it IS my fault not delineating the biome better. Either way I'm not opposed to just a completely fictional kitchen sink desert. The ecology nerds in the audience are going to want to murder me but it's fun!

ANYWAY, Featherstorm's finished chart would look a little like this:

[Image ID: Under the header “What will Martenkit’s life be like?” 16 rows of tally marks crossed out two by two until there is only 1 or 2 left uncrossed. To the left, a shield chart at the top with the following geomantic figures: Puer as the first mother, Laetitia as the second mother, Puer as the third mother, Populus as the fourth mother, Cauda Draconis as the first daughter, Amissio as the second daughter, Populus as the third daughter, Amissio as the fourth daughter, Acquisitio as the first niece, Puer as the second niece, Rubeus as the third niece, Amissio as the fourth niece, Laetitia as the right witness, Cauda Draconis as the left witness, Coniunctio as the judge, and Puella as the sentence. Below the shield chart, an astrological house chart with the first twelve geomantic figures above mentioned assigned to houses 1 to 12 in the order mentioned above. /end ID]

Let's take it with the bottom as always and interpret the court. The judge is coniunctio, connections and communication, and the sentence puella, fulfilling of the emotional needs of others. So, we have a character who as a result of their connections within the Clan will be dedicated to service of their needs. The right witness, laetitia, joy, and the left witness, cauda draconis, endings and foregone conclusions, tell us Martenkit will get this reputation from pulling the Clan through a situation that seems hopeless. I'm honestly pondering at this point whether I want to swap him with Cobra(strike)star and maybe make something else out of his chart. Hmmmm. I have more indications from the rest of the chart but I want to throw that out there just now.

Going through the houses we have Puer in the first house, my first strong indication. Puer is a figure of drive and ambition, the figure of the hero archetype, of the plucky inexperienced youth going out on a quest. In the house that represents the self you cannot tell me this doesn't scream "obvious protagonist". Of course there is more to being leader material than just this so let's go onto the rest of the houses.

In the second house we find Laetitia, joy. The problem of the interpretation of the house of material wealth comes once again and I think I'm going to interpret it here as a character quirk. I want him to be the cat equivalent of the kind of person who loves trying all these new foods and is constantly goading others onto trying weird new things. Thus, joy derived from the material eh?

In the third house, Puer again. I don't want to repeat what I did with Cobrakit and just make him part of an all tom litter on the basis of Puer on the third house. However, seeing as Martenkit is also signified by Puer I'm thinking rather this is a litter of plucky young potential protagonists. Adventurous types, rule breakers, fighting over who will get to be leader one day.

Populus in the fourth house indicates we have not much to worry in the parenting department. Things will be smooth, calm, not much interesting to say in this regard.

Cauda draconis, meanwhile, is in the fifth house. Is this saying that him leaving a legacy is a foregone conclusion or is this saying that his descendants, by mentoring or by blood, will turn out exactly as expected? Eh... I am not sure. I don't want to introduce tragedy into the chart too soon so I am not entirely on board with giving Cauda Draconis, a generally negative figure, the worst possible interpretation. We'll leave this for later.

In the sixth house we have Amissio, loss. Cobrastrike already got an eye scar so how's about Marten gets a... torn ear? Yeah! Go cool battle scars!

In the seventh house we have Populus. I'm chosing to interpret it as him remaining single. It is a welcome change of pace that the chart isn't wanting to get all depressing and gloomy in the seventh house anymore and we need to have more single cats to balance out the amount of cats with romantic drama going on.

In the eight house we have Amissio again. This is another of those plattitude houses but since we already have the idea from the court that he'll help SandClan through hopelessness and since we have at least one connection with regards to his littermates... perhaps the tragedy that he guides SandClan through is related to the death of one of his littermates?

In the ninth house we have Acquisitio. Rather straightforward, particularly in light of the court! Through the journey of serving the Clan through their hour of hopelessness, he acquires connection, community, a place in the Clan. Once again, I'm contemplating the leadership path here.

In the tenth house, Puer again. So his ambition will pay off in the end. See where I was going with this? Cobrastrike's general vibe is dude that is generally very mellow but which the figures suggest had a past where he was more fiery. While this one suggests more strongly leadership qualities. I'm considering making Cobrastrike just a den dad type that chilled once realizing if he throws himself into the fray of battle he risks his life for nothing.

In the eleventh house we have Rubeus, anger and uncontrolled aggression. If we're going with the leader idea, it'd do good to us to turn to the deputy type we established way back with the first request. And what do you know? Rubeus in the eleventh house. So there is precedent for a particularly aggressive faction influential in the politics of SandClan lending support to the leadership.

And finlly in the twelfth house we have Amissio, loss. Very good omen in the house of antagonistic forces. This tells me Marten will prevail ultimately against any adversaries and this bodes well for his ambitious career.

So, putting it all together:

Martenkit was born as part of a litter filled with adventurous, trouble-making little furballs. He grew up through a period of plenty in SandClan and developed a taste for the more exotic prey types of the desert. His upbringing was rather uneventful all things considered, and as an upcoming and ambitious young warrior of course it wasn't long before an apprentice was put on his way to test him. He was part of many a battle in which he fought ferociously and with abandon, even losing an ear in the process. Romance-wise it was never something he was interested in, prefering to focus on his ambition. He never would've guessed, however, how his big break would come on the back of a tragedy. When one of his siblings tragically died in a drawn-out war against a neighboring Clan, he took it upon himself to uphold the morale. This ended up in the culmination of his ambitions, earning the favor of the Clan at large but also of a particular faction of aggressive cats who'd also eventually come to favor Quiverfur as deputy. While some in the Clan were concerned about him ascending, his opponents eventually dwindled, leaving him to guide the course of SandClan as Martenstar.

His warrior name would be Martenclaw.

#hope you like!#your asks and your praise make my day #warrior cats #wc #warrior cats oc #wc oc #fanclan #sandclan

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franboos · 2 years

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That’s ok, I need as many peoples advice as possible so even if your real life friends or followers want to weigh in I will take all the help I can get! Basically I’ve been on one type of both control pill for a few years now, originally to help me with my periods and it worked really well for me. However I started noticing a few months ago that suddenly I was getting idk more emotional than I used to be and I started getting some light spotting a week before my period which never happened before. I know neither of these things are deeply serious but I have a health check coming up with my doctor soon and I wanted some advice about if I should ask my doctor to change into a different pill? I did some research and found a pill that is meant to be better for spotting but I’m kind of reluctant to change after being on the same type for so long. I’m worried that I’ll change onto a different one and it won’t react well to me or something when I could have just stayed on the same one with mild side effects? I’m grateful to any advice!

oké shit i forgot to answer to this bc i didn’t really know what to say since i can’t really help you lmao. but yes ofc ask your doctor, they are the ones that can help you best with this :-D i have no experience with this what so ever so i think it’s best u just ask the doctor, can’t go wrong with that. if u did ask already, let me know how it went lol

#fran’s asks

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afy2018 · 3 years

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My First Love Ch. 1

“I mean, they say that after a while you just forget stuff,” Laura shrugged pulling on her flannel pyjamas, “Do you remember everything, or how does it work with being a vampire?”

Carmilla glanced at Laura and slid under the covers. “I guess whatever I’ve forgotten I just can’t think of.”

Laura nodded and climbed in next to her, cuddling into her wife after turning off her bedside lamp.

Time passed by slowly, but Carmilla just couldn’t sleep. Looking at Laura, she decided to think back on her life, wondering how she even got here, alive no longer under her mother’s thumb. She wondered how true Laura’s theory was. Carmilla didn’t know, nor understand why memories had to fade away. She truly didn’t want to forget anything, but maybe somethings were gone. Carmilla slowly sat up and slipped out of bed, walking to Laura’s basket of old tattered journals and took the least used one, a light brown faux leather book with a metal clasp.

She walked to the kitchen, turning on a light and grabbed a cheap pen from a cup and began to write:

“I don’t want to forget anything, so I think I should start to recount my life before it’s too late. Maybe you’re right, Laura, maybe I’ll forget important things and dates, but I’ll find out while pleasing you adorable curiosity.” She began before explaining her memory.

(1697 Versailles, France)

My first memory was of a Christmas party I went to at the Château de Versailles. It was so large. There were people everywhere and food up and down the tables. Servants were dressed in pure white garments like angels. My parents were already talking with other royals. We were representing Austro-Holy Roman Empire. I felt lost in the hall of mirrors. The crystal chandeliers, that hanged low in the room, glittered and sparkled across the ground as the sun set in the windows and reflected in the tall mirrors painting orange, pink, and red as their temporary wallpaper. I walked around the room, taking time to look at all of the golden statues and mural on the ceiling.

Distracted, I ran into someone.

“I am sorry.” I fervently apologized.

I came face to face with this beautiful woman with grey-blue eyes. She had a strong and fierce look in her eyes. Her hair was pulled tight and had velvet yellow and purple flowers tucked in the back to match the golden and royal purple dress she was wearing. Though even with her impenetrable aura, she looked like she was holding something back.

“There is no reason to look so afraid, madam.” She smiled. “I take no offence.” She took a sip from her glass and glanced around the room. “This must be your first party.”

“It is. Well, my first one outside of Austria.”

“Oh, so you are a representative from the Holy Roman Empire?”

“One of them, my parents are somewhere else.”

“So you are a lost puppy?”

I blushed a deep scarlet and shrugged. “I guess so.”

“My name is Anne Princess of Denmark.”

“Mircalla Gräfin Karnstein of Styria.”

“Now you have met your first friend.”

“I guess I do.”

“I can introduce you to others, play a bit of politics while we are here right?”

“I do not think I should. My parents should be in control of that.”

“Being royal is all about politics.”

“I know, but I still need to learn more.”

“Alright, then I shall help you.” She smiled, walking to a wall. I followed her to and rested against one of the mirror's frames. She pointed to a group of people near the table. “See the royal with brown hair in the red? He is a Duke of Beja from Portugal talking with a Lord of Biscay from Spain. Over by the drinks is almost all of the French Court cornering a Boyar from Russia. Oh my, watch, a Prince from Latvia is making his way to them.”

“How do you think this will...?” I began forgetting the English word.

“Work out? I do not know. We will have to watch.”

“What is their history?”

“Well being on opposite sides of Europe, the biggest problem they have with one another is trading rights, but Latvia and Russia, well, that is something else.”

“Do you think they will make an argument?”

“No, but what happens after tonight is something else.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, why create gossip in front of everyone and seem… juvenile, when one could simply have a professional fight behind closed doors?”

“You are very wise in royal conduct.”

“Thank you. I have had to be savvy in what I do and say for years now.”

“You speak perfect English, yet you are the Princess of Denmark?”

“I am from England, but married to Prince George of Denmark.” She explained, turning to me with a polite smile, “Your English, it is good but more practice and it will be perfect.”

“Conversational is difficult for me.”

She finished her drink and gave me a quick wink. “If you want some lessons, I could give you a few quick lessons.”

My words were caught in my throat, and I found my head nodding even though I didn’t tell it to do so. She just smiled and took my arm, walking briskly out of the room, taking the wall and slipping past the maids. Down the hall, we walked until we made our way to her chambers. She closed the door behind me and pointed to the chair.

“I will actually help you despite your eyes being the size of the moon and your cheeks red flush as the Duke of Biscay’s clothes.”

“I… I”

“It is okay Mircalla. I am told I have an effect of the Sappho kind.”

“Sappho?”

“She was a Greek poet, popular among the ladies.”

“I have never heard of her.”

“Lost to time and to men.” Anne sighed walking closer, reaching out for me.“But history is for another day. Today is English lessons.”

“What can I practice?”

“You said you have trouble with conversations, we shall practice.”

“Oké.”

“How has your day been?”

“I am good, und you?”

“And.”

“And, the words… they are very close.”

“I am well.” She answered. “How is your land?”

“Great. My people are well… we ehh… our farmers are successful.” I tried.

“Your crops are doing great. Great. Your ‘W’s need the most work.” She shrugged. “Let’s try it.”

“Okay.” I nodded, trying it.

“Don’t bite your lip.”

“Okay.” I tried again.

“Closer.” She sighed. “Here, this might help.” Anne placed her hand on my jaw and pulled my lip down as I made the sound again. “Better, try again.”

“I feel stupid.”

“I know you do. Now try again.”

I nodded and made the same sound earning a nod. Glancing at her distance, I stepped closer and tried a word starting with ‘W’.

“Wonderful.”

“Good.”

“Worry,” I said stepping closer.

“Understandable.”

“Whimsical.” I tried standing centimetres away.

“Better.”

“Well?” I whispered.

“Bolder.” She commanded.

I quickly stood on my toes and kissed her, getting pulled in tight. Anne placed her hand on the back of my neck and turned her head to the side. I moaned into her mouth, never having felt this way with any of my betrothed men, but with the future Queen of Britain.

~~~~~~~~~~

(1698 Vienna, Holy Roman Empire)

I remember a lot from that night. The first moment that comes to mind was getting tied into a satin blue dress with dark indigo velvet accents. There were pearls sewn into the collar by a French seamstress. My father couldn’t come, so my mother and I left for Vienna. It was a long and silent ride. I can’t remember why, but my mother chose not to say a word through the four-hour ride.

There is an ingrained memory I have of getting out of the coach and going to the foyer where I found my old friend, Anne. I remember her name being announced by the herald at the top of a staircase.

“Her Royal Highness The Princess Anne of Denmark.” He proclaimed.

I turned around, leaving my mother in the dust to watch her descend from the staircase. I seemed like no one when compared to her. She was a vision in red and magenta silks imported from all over the world. She was married and we’d known each other for years, though that never stopped us. As soon as she escaped the crowd, I pulled her aside.

“Mircalla!” She quietly exclaimed, “I did not know you would attend! If I had I would have worn something else.”

I shook my head with a grin and pulled her into a kiss. She grabbed my hands and pulled them around the back of her neck. I sighed, pulling away and tucked my head into her shoulder.

“I missed you so much.” She chuckled, holding me close. “I have been practicing my German. George thinks I am doing so for talks I may have with William.”

“How is it?” I asked with my strained English accent.

“I do not know, it is a bit embarrassing.”

“I will try not to laugh.”

“Okay. Du bist so hübsch. Sobald wir uns versteckt haben, werde ich deine kleidung abreißen.”

“Just meine dress?”

Anne smirked and placed her lips next to my ear, whispering, “Then you will have a kiss avec la petite mort.”

I felt a searing chill shudder through my body as she finished her sentence, making me chuckle, “Does not really translate, but I still understand.”

Anne pushed me against the wall and began to bunch up my dress, pressing brazen kisses against my pale skin. She wrapped one hand around the back of my neck and held me close. Anne pulled at my collar, pressing warm kisses against my flush flesh, unbuttoning the front and letting it drop to the ground.

“Was ist, wenn uns jemand erwischt?” I gasped out.

“What if someone what?” She asked between kisses.

“Finds us?”

Anne shook her head, biting lightly on my breast. I let out a low groan, the pain cutting through my voice.

She swirled her rough wet tongue around my soft and sensitive-

“Princess Anne? Princess Anne of Denmark?”

“For God’s sake!” She hissed.

“Scheisse!” I seethed having Anne help me tighten everything again.

“Coming!” She called back, kissing my cheek.

“Good day, Anne.”

“Auf wiedersehen, Mircalla.” She whispered leaving with a final kiss.

I watched her escape to the party as I righted myself, tightening the front of my gown before heading back to the party. It was dark already, so I just stuck close to the wall, looking across the hall to the portraits of past occupants. The silence was broken only by the clicks of my shoes and the slight drag of my dress. I found my way to the room with my family name on it. Opening the door, I spotted a figure on the bed.

“Mircalla?” The thin voice asked.

“Ja?”

“I thought you would come by during the party.” They explained. I kept my distance, waiting for them to turn around. “Nothing to say?”

“I know not much English,” I responded. “Who are you?”

They stood up and turned around, a stalking tall woman somehow completely hidden in the dark.

“A shadowy gift.” She purred.

I turned around, but I then felt a rough hand wrap around my arm and tug my close. I was shocked as everything flew by fast. In moments, I was forced up against the bed, looking into the veiled face. She purred into my ear, her mouth a breath away from my neck. She smelled of iron or rust with a strong musk of the forest. I struggled against her grasp, getting slammed back on the bed. She grazed her teeth against my neck, her tongue searching, drawing up and down over one point. I felt my pulse quicken as the assault continued.

Suddenly and violently, she sank her teeth into my neck. My scream quickly dampened as I tasted blood flood into my mouth. Everything spun and faded to black in mere seconds.

~~~~~~~~~~

I opened my eyes to a low lit room. I noticed a dark figure in the corner. I was mistaken in thinking they were the same being that took my life. She neared me, her beautiful dark skin reflecting rays of the sun from the small room. She walked closer, staring down at me.

“Welcome Countess Mircalla.” She greeted. I jutted up, getting held back by her. “My name is Matska.”

“Was stimmt mit mir nicht? My head spins.” I muttered.

“It will be like that for a while.”

“Warum?”

“First, you need to learn English, Mircalla. It’s the language of the future.”

“I only speak some.”

“I will help you.”

“What happened?”

“It is complicated, you were attacked and now you are in hiding.”

“Does my mother know?”

“She believes you are dead, it is for the better.”

“How long was I sleeping?”

“7 months, longer than usual.”

“Was zum teufel?”

Matska sat down next to me, wrapping her arm around my shoulder. “I am sorry, they succeed in your assassination.”

“My what?”

“You are no longer human.”

“What?”

“You are a vampire, like me.”

“Ich bin tot?” I asked in disbelief.

“I am sorry. I…”

I pulled away and hid my head in the pillow.

“I will be back.” She whispered.

Once the door closed, I got up and looked at the room. There was a closet and a mirror, nothing else. I walked to the mirror, glaring at the reflection. I was even paler, gaunt, my hair was sleek though, my eyes were a brilliant red. I looked terrifying. The door opened.

“I thought vampires had no...ähm…”

“Reflection, couldn’t be seen in mirrors?”

“Ja.”

“Just myth. I brought some food, here.” Matska gave me a goblet of blood, my first feeding. “You’ll feel better.”

Once I took a sip, a primal hunger took over me and I just engorged on my bloody feast. I licked the cup clean, wiping the blood from my mouth. I glanced at her and handed back the cup.

“When will my eyes turn… back?”

“After your first kill.”

“I… I do not want to kill.”

She nodded and kissed my forehead, leaving the room. “You are not locked in here.”

“Thank you, madam Matska.”

“Mati.” She corrected

~~~~~~~~~~

I had no control at first. She taught me how to change. She taught me my true form and I got to see her in her form as well. She just ran by my side, her dark coat only a shadow of mine. I caught the scent of someone, in it I followed until I saw my first victim. He was short and full of blood. Ripe and unknowing. I pounced on him, sinking my teeth into his back. Mati watched me feast, partaking after I backed away.

She shifted back to her human form and began laughing.

“Now you have had a taste of fun. We should go out more.” She chuckled.

“Is there a catch to you?”

“Not me, but Mother does, yes. Every twenty years we have to sacrifice someone to appease the gods and survive.”

“Is it… worth it?”

“Yes, immortality for a life.”

I don’t know why, but I nodded and went back to feast on my prey. Though if I knew then what I know now, I would have wanted to escape from their grasp and run as far away as I could. Mother turned out to be a depraved woman I should have avoided from the beginning. The century turned and to the world, Countess Mircalla Karnstein had long since passed and now a new ever-changing vampire was rising through society. Her light brown hair was stained and dyed black, her eyes were no longer a joyous brown but a desolate black. I honestly don’t know if I would now recognize my original self. I thought life was easy, hunting and partying, feasting and playing every night. A new gala with new girls, but I was disheartened when 1714 can to be. Mati Mother and I went to Silas where we stayed in a palace surrounded by other creatures. We brought along a young girl, a virgin to sacrifice.

I remember going to the building’s foyer, it was crowded in the basement and outside. I didn’t know where anyone was. I was alone, despite being surrounded by other mythical creatures. Everyone was barely dressed, some people were dancing and drinking, doing hedonistic things to each other and themselves.

“What is such a cute creampuff as yourself doing here, alone, on such a glorious night?” A soothing voice asked in the noise.

I looked up to see this beautiful woman with her stomach bare and very little covering her legs. She had these brilliant green eyes and thin gaunt features almost like death. Her hair was bright blonde and her skin was almost pearlescent. She had such a sinister, but inviting, smile I couldn’t resist.

“I have never been here before… I guess… I guess I just don’t know what to do?”

She held her hand out and smiled down at me. “Then let me show you.”

“I don’t even know your name.”

“Nanaya.”

“I’m-”

“Mircalla, I know. I know everyone, sweetie.”

I took her hand and she lead me outside where a large bonfire was. Drums and instruments played strong simple beats which created an air of ecstasy that took over my emotions as soon as I joined the pit of dancers. Nanaya placed her hands on my hips and danced. I put my hands on her shoulders. She pulled my hips against her leg, slipping between my thighs.

I felt beads of sweat begin to form on my forehead. The bonfire’s heat and our intimate contact made the world close in on me in a hot blanket that collapsed against my skin.

Nanaya ground my hips down against her leg, bringing her face closer to mine. She looked into my eyes, a grin appearing on her thin lips like a snake about to attack her prey, but I couldn’t pull away. I was completely entranced by her eyes, the music, and the feeling of her hands' firm grip on my hips.

Her grin turned into a malicious smirk and took hold of my skirt, tearing it off and tossing it into the fire, leaving me in my pair of short tight pants.

I don’t remember much of the night, only her eyes. They were just so green. They almost seemed to melt into blue as the night progressed then to a vibrant magenta when the day ended. The moment memories come back is when Mati tore me away from her.

“It was fun while it lasted, buttercup.” She smiled, kissing my hand and let me walked away with Mati.

“Don’t trust the creatures who come here. I usually just hunt. You get this new found energy.”

“What is she?”

“One of the main runners of this, like mother, only worse.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15667245/chapters/36394935

#carmilla #Carmilla Karnstein #carmilla fanfic #carmilla fanfiction #laura hollis #Hollistein #matska #LGBT #femslash #wlw #sfw fanfic

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randomoranges · 4 years

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Over the summer, I watched Good Omens in Italian and made a post about it to compare and contrast

And then I did the same with French and FINALLY got around to make sense of my notes. Here they are, enjoy the laughs.

Good Omens in French is Bons Présages which is a literal translation.

French shows/movies/books always seem to do literal translations of things (see Harry Potter)

Crowley’s name goes from Rampant (something that CRAWls) to Rampa.

God, although voiced by a female sounding actor, is referred as tout puissant (male) and not toutE puissantE (female)

At least Crowley and Aziraphale use tu around each other instead of using the formal vous. (Listen, the number of shows/movies where 2 characters are friends, but because of the age dynamic they get downed to vous – it’s annoying. I’m glad 6000 yrs of friendship meant they could use tu.)

Agnes Nutter’s last name is Barge

The way Crowley greets Hastur and Ligur “hey salut les gars” it’s so casual lamao

When they’re going through the deeds of the day Crowley goes on to say “oké vous allez adorer – j’ai fait bugger tous les réseaux” he sounds so pleased

Ciao remains but (according to my old notes – I don’t remember but this is what I wrote like this summer) apparently they go on to say that it means poule (chicken) and not food (so the ciao –chow pun is lost)

The person from hell who comes through on Crowley’s radio (I was never sure who that was supposed to be) but anyways, that person, they use darling and in French it was translated as mon choux, which is cute and also really funny.

The Japanese bit was not translated (so it’s still Michael Sheen we hear say the one Japanese line)

French also does not have another word for cookie (cookie and biscuit – which is funny because in French the word used for cookie is biscuit) ANYWAYS so Sister Mary L says cookie but with a French accent.

Aziraphael sounds like Azirafal.

When Aziraphale asks Crowley what he wants to do next (or whatever the line was) and Crowley goes des litres, des fleuves, des océans d’alcool (litres, rivers, oceans of alcool)

The drunk scene deserves a special mention

Personal opinion: but Crowley’s VA grows more on you than Aziraphale’s VA. They both sound much younger than D. Tennant and M. Sheen. Sometimes the French VAs don’t... fit lol and fall a bit flat.

Éternitéééééééééé

Aziraphale’s “oh doux Jésus”

Their voices as Nanny and brother Francis were sad.

Warlock’s voice at age 5 was also sad.

However warlock calls Nanny “Nounou” and that’s cute

When Nanny sings the lullaby in French – bless them they tried lamao

When Aziraphale does the practice magic trick to Crowley, Crowley goes on to complain and say “c’est toi que j’vais faire disparaître” and it’s a gem

JEANNOT LE LAPIN BLANC (when Aziraphale presents his white rabbit) it’s a Gift.

The Them = les Eux

In her cottage = dans son cottage (did you even try)

When God asks Aziraphale for the sword and Aziraphale describes it as it’s “machin coupant très aiguisé”

Aziraphale uses vous for God, but God uses tu.

John and Virtue Device à John et Virtue Bidule (another one of those literal translations.)

Ok but this one annoyed me. Anathema’s name got changed to Anatheme and like sometimes I get it it’s cause of the way words are pronounced so when you dub you gotta find things that fit the movement of the lips as much as but Anatheme does NOT fit with Anathema. ALSO IT’S THE PERSON’S NAME. LIKE. (Re: see Harry Potter again.) aNYWAys.

Dick Turpin gets changed to Jesse Janes ????

Grow better is “et vous les filles, continuer de POUSSER” (so the plants get referred to as “girls”)

Mme. Tracy’s line about the refined gentlemen (or whatever it is) is aux gentlemen avertis.

Du beebop.

When they return to the convent Crowley says “j’me demande où sont passés les nuns” he could have sais soeurs insteand of nuns.

Aziraphale tells Crowley “tu es un gentil garçon » (you are a nice boy)

Oh lord heal this bike à oh seigneur, réparez ce vélo

Angel is sometimes mon ange and I’m die. (My angel.)

The scene in Rome when Crowley asks “qu’est-ce que vous avez à boire?” He sounds So Done

My dear fellow = mais mon cher camarade (my dear comrade lol)

When they’re complaining about horses during the Shakespeare scene = oh aye aye les chevaux ça fait mal aux fesses

Headquarters = maison mère

The whole Bastille scene with the Jean Claude is lost because they’re already talking French

Another transformation of angel is angelot (small angel)

The description of the head cutting machine is une énorme machine coupeuse de têtes

Pear shapped = boudain (really not the same thing.)

Obviously = manifestement

During the Blitz scene, when Aziraphale is Super Proud he double crossed the Germans he goes on saying “vous vous petes faites pigeonner! Allez, hop, hop, hop”

The German bit was kept as is

When Crowley is tap dancing through the church, the French VA makes some key noises

You go too fast for me = Tu roules trop vite pour moi (two things; the delivery of the line falls flat and tu roules is literally a driving reference so it’s like more car feeling than like moving in life)

When Anathema offers the Them lemonade they translated it to citronade, instead of limonade. And I don’t get it.

Wicked = mortel (Deadly)

When Shadwell mimics Aziraphale’s pip pip it’s something along the lines of hop hop hop espèce de tonton Suisse ????? I’m never sure what he says, but just – it’s a riot.

I don’t even like you = je ne t’appréci même pas (I don’t appreciate you)

But then Crowley’s you dooo is tu m’adores which, is you adore me and I lost it.

I’m soft = je ne suis pas un guerrier (I am not a warrior) and wow, okay, not the same, not the same impact. 0/10

Michael sounds more like Mi-ka-el and meh ok.

When Crowley talks to God when he’s having a minor existential crisis it – doesn’t deliver as much.

Adam uses vous for Anathema

When Pepper realises whales have got the good life she says “oh purée, j’ai trop envie d’être une baleine” (France French expressions are sometimes a whole riot on their own)

Avocado was changed to amandes (almonds and I don’t know why)

One big avocado = ce sera bientôt la fin des amandes (it’ll soon be the end of the almonds) re : ??

You smell like poo = vous sentez vraiment la merde

Crowley’s I’ve got an old friend here = tu tombes mal, j’ai d’la visite (I’ve got visit)

Uriel tells Aziraphale “ton p’tit copain aux lunettes fumées” which is your little boyfriend with the dark sunglasses lamao

Bandes de..... méchants anges! = you bad angels! It sounds more petulant though.

The whole wrong shop allusion is lost in translation

You stupid man = espèce de crétin

Oh fuck = oh merde (really not the same intensity lol)

The emotion and distress in the dire scene is l o s t . L

When Crowley is in the bar and he asks for another bottle he asks for la p’tite soeur which means the little sister.

When Crowley is like Aziraphale is that really you (when his ghost-spirit-nebulous appearance shows up in the bar) it sounds more disbelieving? But like in a what the hell is going on and less in awe/relief??

Get a wiggle on = remuage des fesses (fesses is butt)

Pollution sounds very young.

The 3 other horse people use vous for death

They had the French VA of Aziraphale say the spreichen ze deutsch bit and He Tried.

Wahoo = woow

Not just the southern pansy, THE southern pansy bit = pas simplement une tantouze sudiste, mon chéri, je suis LA tantouze sudiste

A) He sounds so very pleased with himself

B) And flirty?? Come hither??

C) It’s perf

D) Tantouze sudiste = a vulgar term for a homosexual man

Shadwell uses vous for Mme. Tracy

Cowwley = Rampra (when Lisa the insurance girl calls)

Car = caisse

When Adam yells his life to get evil out of him or whatever, in the flashback sequence when Ms. Young speaks to Adam when he was born, she speaks to him in French (not like in the Italian version where they just – did not translate that bit.)

Crowley sounds very suave when he tells Aziraphale in Mme. Tracy’s body that he’ll take care of it when the military dude won’t let them through.

Dagon à je suis présent not présente (so Dagon uses male words?? pronouns??)

You were a good car – t’étais une caisse d’enfer

Kick/lick some serious butt à brouter quelques derrières

When Aziraphale tells Crowley they should wait before offing Adam the exchange is hilarious

It’s Aziraphale: Peut-être qu’on devrait attendre (maybe we should wait)

Crowley : Qu’il ait le droit de vote? (That he could vote?)

Vous vous êtes rien vous êtes trop naz, Pepper

I believe in peace, bitch à Moi je crois en la paix pétasse LOL

They only buzzed Beelzeebub’s voice for their last line before Satan appears

Crowley at Adam ok mon garçon

Adam uses vous for Satan his dad, but then uses tu for him for t’es pas mon père lol

Le truc cest que tas pu dcamp mon vieux – moi non plus dailleurs

Their voices when they’re pretending to be each other

Tickity boo à tout va très bien

Je te rappelle que je suis un putain d’archange (I’m the archangel fucking Gabriel – or whatever that line was lol)

Shut your stupid mouth and die already à Tu vas te la fermer ta grande bouche et te décider à mourir

Beelzebu : il est revenu à ses origines – il a changé de bord instead of he’s gone native

Miiichael mon pot, tu m’fais un p’tit miracle j’ai pas de serviette à When Aziraphael as Crowley asks Michael for a towel.

#good omens #bons présages #french #français #notes #comparison #crowley #aziraphale

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elsatxx · 7 years

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Looking between the lines pt 4.

So this is my first real attempt to write a story.. It’s alo posted on AO3, http://archiveofourown.org/works/9564770/chapters/21627455 , and I want to post it on Wattpad as well but hey! Who knows. Please tell me what you think! (Correcting errors are welcome too.)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

.xx Elsatxx

Pairing: I havent decided yet.. Word Count: 966 Warnings: None yet..

Story under cut.

"Excuse me?" Sam looked surprised. "Jimmy, Jimmy Novak, he was a friend of mine from church." "Euhm.." Sam didn't know what to say. "Mom I think you're confused, the man just walking outside isn't called Jimmy, his name is Cas." I stood up from the couch walking over to her. Jimmy disappeared right? That day before the church dinner." "Yes, you are right, but i could swear.." She looked so confused so I took her hands. "Maybe Cas just looked like him mom.. We both heard what Claire said.. He is gone.." Mom looked passed me over to Sam and they shared a look. "Kiddo, you still have to finish your maths homework, lets do that now hm.." I turned around to face Sam and nodded, "That's only fair yes." "Why don't you go make a start and I will be right there to help?" I nodded again and touched my moms arm on my way to the kitchen, where I plugged my earbuds in to listen to some music. I knew fairly well Sam wanted to talk to mom without having me there. I liked my own privacy so it was only fair to grant them theirs. ---------------------------- Sam Winchester his point of view.

"Look.." I wanted to start but she had her words ready already. "I knew this would happen. I knew something would expose her to this part of our world. I thought you understood fairly well why I don't want her involved Samuel." I sighed, after all I have been through, of course I understand. "I will leave, if that makes you feel better.." "That seems like a rather good idea." Her tone was so cold, it kind of reminded me of a case a long while back, in Dearborn Michigan. "But.. We do have a case here, so I will have to stay in town for a few more days." "But not near my daughter." I knew there was no arguing with her right now. "Let me help her with her math and say goodbye? Then I will leave.." "Fine. This is all your fault Sam." She walked away from me up the stairs. She was right, after I left I should never have come back. When i came back the first time it was solely to protect them, with Dean in hell, I wanted to make sure that they were oké. The years after that I kept tabs on them, they are like family to me. I glanced over to my girl in the kitchen. She always felt like my baby sister. How was I going to do this? She would never accept me leaving. It is like she got more dependent, every month I got an e-mail with what was going on in this little town. I smiled, she was working so hard, in that little store, on school. She always wanted the best for herself, and for her mom. Dean: When will you be back at the motel? We need to talk. Sam: Tonight, can it wait? Dean: I have a lead. Sam: Take Cas with you? Dean: Fine, but when I call for back-up you better answer. Sam: Alright. I tucked my phone back in my pocket. I will have to disappoint him, I am not leaving before my girl is in bed. No way. I started walking over to my girl. I know I keep referring her as "my girl" but that is just what she is. I've known her since she was three years old. I very clearly remember the first day, those baby blue eyes and the happy giggles. She was such a cheeky three year old, pouting to get a cookie. She always got one from me but that is beside the point. Still right now, if she starts laughing, you can't do anything but laugh with her. It is so addicting. I walked over and tapped her shoulder, "How far did you get kiddo?" "I'm nearly done, I just need some help with the last few." I nodded and "helped" her, I couldn't really call it helping as she is a damn smart girl herself. When she was done she looked at me. "What is it kiddo?" She stayed quiet for a few moments, so I let her think. "Mom asked you to leave didn't she?" ... "How did you..?" "You have that face, like you feel sorry for something.." She looked down at her hands, so I took them. "Kiddo, you have my number, we can always call. And I promise I will answer more, or call back when I cant." I tried to make her look at me. "I just don't understand why she wants you to leave, I really like having you around.." I chuckled, "I am glad to hear." I cupped her cheek, and made her look up to me. "One more year and you will be off to college right? Is your dream still UMKC?" She nodded slowly and I let go of her face. "We will make it work kiddo, don't you worry so much." I smiled, trying to show her that it was really going to be okay. She smiled softly. "Will you please go up with me and stay till I am asleep?" Oh god, her mom was not going to like that. "I can't promise that kiddo.." "But Sammy.." "Yes, yes, I will try, come on, up to bed." She put away all her books and cleaned the table. Dean would love her neatness, he himself is a big cleaner. Especially when it's about Baby or the bunker. Dean... She hasn't even met him yet... I will hear about this for the rest of my existence. "Sam? You're staring.." I shook my head. "Right, I'm coming." I stood up and walked after her.

Tags: @dancingalone21 @saxxxology @impalaimagining @theoneandonlytruejack

#supernatural #Sam Winchester #dean winchester #castiel #crowley #yn #reader #jared padalecki #jensen ackles #misha collins #mark sheppard #fic #story #love #hate #life

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datingadviceonreddit · 7 years

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Okay, so I will try to make this short! I recently went to this shitty family park with my family and a different family. They brought a daughter with them and her boyfriend, but since her bf was a junkie she dropped him and me and her became kinda close.So about 3 days after they break up we start texting and she talks with me about things like what she seeks in a relationships (normal sex life, love, and seeing eachother a few times a week) I am more of a few times per week guy (depending on my workload, which she did not seem to like) So, I make an effort to see her more often, to please her, and decide to go out with her and her friends and she sits with me at the bar (voluntarily), but this dude comes over and buys her a drink and then gets mad when I tell her I can buy her drinks, too, but she simply shrugs.Now let me be honest here: It's been about a year or two since I kinda liked someone. I am very picky. I want clean girls who can freak in bed. So we go on a second date (I take the initiative just to please her daily basis shit) we go to a park and talk a bit about pretty much nothing, after about an hour I pull her closer put my arms around her as she puts her legs on my leg and we sit there laughing. I am at this point genuinely starting to fall (trying to control myself so hard not do since it was just a second date) So I catch myself staring at her and she does as well and looks away shyly and tells me to stop, so I tell her I try but I simply cant. We sat there for hours and she even told me she enjoyed it very much and that she was starting to fall for me and I made her forget the issues she had with her ex (a cocaine junkie, who treated her like shit) So she tells me she really likes me, but I need to work out, so I started doing that (partially for her, but also mainly for me, because I had lost my shape after a mild depression, and am used to having a nice body that brings all the girls in awe)few days later I met up with a friend but she texted me she was going with her friend to that friends boyfriend but that he was bringing a friend ( the dude who bought her a drink ). So I say it's fine and we agree that we meet eachother afterwards for about an hour to chill together. So I am done with my business with my friend, we drive home quickly, at my request, 'cus I promised I would meet her (I tend to be a stand-up guy who keeps his promises). Before I leave, she asks me: do you miss me with a shy smiley. I reply: if you have to ask, you have forgotten our evening together in the park. So I call her on my way home, but she has a shitty phone (I can't really hear her), so I tell her I call her later when it's more silent and i'm out of the car for our meet-up. So when I get home I call her , but her phone is off, I think it's dead but then about 3 hours later she texts me: i think it's better we are friends, we are moving too fast, and I just came out of a tough relationship. So, I text her back: well, had fun with that dude huh? time to dump me out of the loop? She was like: you are just not my type, really tried, but you are not. I do not get how someone can go from do you miss me? to you're not my type. Something major happened between those both moments. My guess: she prob met the guy and made out with him or some shit and did not want to fuck with my mind, she liked him a bit more cus he was wearing a bigger chain than me ( a freaking fake one), and he was a bit more muscular -- he was driving a bycicle to meet her.... I have a fucking car.... She then continues on by saying I kinda like bad boys. But I am sitting here, thinking: nawh, you do not like bad boys, you like hopeless cases that you can't save so you can feed on the drama. (she already thinks of someone who snorts cocaine as a bad boy).So I tried to keep it cool between us as friends, because her parents know my family personally, I was not in the situation to tell her to fuck off. We have some fun in a chat and asks me to come with her to a bar. And I reply: so I can see you make out with that dude? Nty, maybe when I put some distance between the thought of you and me happening.I think we are fine, but then she continues to talk to my brother (when he asked what happened), saying I am clingy and possessive. I don't know how it is with you people, but my parents taught me to look out for a girl in a bar, so that nobody grabs her ass as she is with you (drunk folk)-- it is shameful towards her and more shameful if you do not act upon it as a man as she is with you at that moment. But at the same time, I am clingy? She made no effort into introducing me to her friends, so she was the only person I could talk to, and she always texts me every 10min: what are you doing, at the moment? Oh, also, she said I was the one who kept texting HER, but out of like 40 conversations, she was the one who started about 38 of them. So, tonight, not feeling well about this all, I texted her asking why she said that to my bro, and she replies cba with drama, so I try to remain nice and say we call it the past and she is like ''oké'' in the most interested way ever, as if I am the one who is begging to have her attention in life. Maybe I misplaced myself after not dating steadily for over a year and really trying to make this work, but I do not deserve that shit (I am far too good looking and loving for that). so I tell her: you know what: I think it's best if I just delete your number and we never talk to each other again, okay? I honestly wish you the best and hope you find a boyfriend who doesn't sniff cocaine. I am a loving guy when it comes to women, if it’s a one-night or a relationship, I adore women – can’t help it, but when I draw the line I’m hard on myself and cut all possible ties, in order for me to steer clear from drunk texting and so on. She then rambles on a bit about it being weird of me and stuff, but I was genuinely hurt. She also said you fell in love so quickly, as if she was thriving on it? Weird. But I kept telling her I liked you at this point, nothing more, because my love is serious. So I actually delete her number and she sent another text, but I ignored it. I feel like she is a dramaqueen, who just wanted me as a way to kill her time, while she hangs with lowlifes. And it makes me feel bad, for two reasons: I am not used to being used (Honestly, I have always been the guy who used others) And secondly, I really liked her, I really thought I could make something work with her, but it was far to fucked up for me to handle.Her list of reasons why I am not her type: I am 5,7 (I am about 2 inches taller than her), I was chubby (lost my entire fat belly with rigorous training in between our dates – at least I can thank her for that), I do not wear caps (because they fuck with your har and I wanna keep my hairline till my late 60s, and because she is into bad boys. And I’ll be honest about that last point, In the past I did my fair share of things that the type of boys she is interested in does not compare to. Maybe I was simply more mature than her and stood above that whole bad boy attitude, I do not know. I kind of feel empty now, and I really do not understand why, because I know she is not good for me. Maybe it’s ‘cus I’ve been denied for the first time in my life, who knows? Maybe I genuinely loved her. I am a sucker for love. But instead of sitting around, as I would do in my depression, I feel motivated to keep working out and working on myself as a person, for a girl like her is not worth any of my love, patience, time or money. She even dared to talk shit about my car (a van I use for my shop), while all the dudes she ever dated took the bus….Can anyone tell me if I made the right decision in this case? At this point I’m seeing it as a valuable refreshment at dating after a break of a year. Trying to look on the bright side, instead of being a depressed downer! Do not get me wrong, I used to be fit and got fit birds even when I was unfit by proper talking, but this one was just spinning my mind all the ways, having no clue what I should do. Hoping to hear from anyone, love. P.S. Sorry if the grammar is bad, wrote it at like 4 AM, and English isn’t my native tongue. via /r/dating_advice

#dating #dating advice #reddit

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opnaarnepal-blog · 7 years

Text

Meer drank op Langkawi & afscheid op Penang

Maandag 30 januari

Ik voel me alsof ik bij het minste geringste in huilen uit kan barsten.

Ik wil Jonathan, ik wil Lauren, ik wil Lena, Nino, Mara, Rubén… Ga zo maar door. Jullie gezichten voor me zien doet de tranen dwingend opwellen.

Sinds ik ben vertrokken heb ik heel vaak het gevoel gehad dat ik even een dag alleen wilde zijn, maar dat is er nooit van gekomen. Of laat ik het zo zeggen; Ik heb nooit actief genoeg mijn best gedaan om een dag alleen te zijn. Deels omdat ik het nare gevoel dat ik voelde niet wilde voelen en deels omdat ik Lauren en alle andere mensen die ik heb ontmoet zo lief vond dat ik niet een dag minder met ze wilde hebben. Ik heb me veel dagen echt kut gevoeld, maar nooit alleen.

Gisteren voelde ik me opeens weer heel erg mezelf, meer dan ik me sinds september heb gevoeld. Verbonden voelde ik me. Sorry, ik vertel zo onchronologisch. Alles loopt een beetje door elkaar in mijn hoofd.

Ik zal bij het begin beginnen en eerst nog een beetje over Langkawi vertellen. Het laatste uitgebreide wat ik heb verteld is dat ik bijna met een Noorweegse gast mee was gegaan, maar uiteindelijk toch met Jonathan was.

Diezelfde avond ontmoette Lauren, nadat Jesper heel lam naar huis was gegaan, Ryan. Hilarische gast maar zo fucking Londens dat ik de helft van wat hij zegt niet versta.

De volgende ochtend (oké, middag) zeiden de meisjes die het hostel runden dat er nog maar twee bedden voor de volgende dag waren… Dus of J&J namen ze, of Lauren en ik zouden ze nemen, of ze zouden voor ons vieren een hotel zoeken. Dat was een beetje ongemakkelijk.

Ik heb het uiteindelijk smooth gefikst, waardoor Lauren en ik de hostelbedden namen en de jongens de kamer aan de overkant van de straat namen (die waar Lauren en ik op de eerste avond in geslapen hadden).

Die avond kreeg ik een berichtje van Jonathan of we plannen hadden voor die avond. Ik zei van niet en hij vertelde dat hij en Jesper bier aan het drinken en muziek aan het luisteren waren op de kamer. Lauren en ik waren net wakker van een schoonheidsslaapje (lees: katerslaap) toen deze conversatie plaatsvond, dus we moesten nog avondeten. We haalden pizza en wraps met frietjes en we besloten de jongens te verrassen met een McFlurry.

Eenmaal aangekomen bij hun kamer bleken ze er echter niet meer te zijn. We moesten zo hard om onszelf lachen toen we voor hun deur zijn gaan zitten en daar pizza, friet en ijs hebben gegeten. Net twee jaloerse meisjes op stake out om te zien of hun vriendjes meisjes mee naar huis nemen, of twee meisjes die hun vriendjes missen en daardoor gaan emotie-eten voor hun deur. Als teken dat we er geweest waren lieten we twee frietjes achter in hun raamkozijn.

De volgende dag toen Jonathan vertelde dat ze een hele leuke avond hadden gehad, vroeg ik of ze onze geheime boodschap hadden gevonden en vertelde ik over de McFlurry’s die we maar zelf opgegeten hebben. Ze lachten.

Volgens mij ben ik die middag naar ze toe gegaan op het strand. Nja, that’s what we did everyday anyway. Jonathan en ik bijeen gepropt op één bedje en Jesper op de andere, muziek luisteren en af en toe een kleine zwempartij. Ik heel panisch over kwallen natuurlijk. En altijd dezelfde playlist. Haha. Vooral oude rockmuziek, maar af en toe een Zweeds of Deens nummer er tussendoor. Ik kan ze ondertussen allemaal dromen denk ik.

Jesper ging op een gegeven moment naar de kamer. Jonathan en ik hebben dus op kussens op het strand naar de zonsondergang gekeken, terwijl ik een ijsje at en hem bestookte met vragen. Die vragen gingen van ‘Wat is je lievelingskleur?’ tot ‘Wat is jouw definitie van geluk?’ en 'Denk je dat de mens van nature goed is?’

Jonathans antwoorden op elk van mijn vragen vindt standaard plaats volgens het volgende schema: 'I don’t know. *het antwoord*, maybe. I don’t know.’ Maar echt altijd.

Die avond zaten J&J en ik buiten voor hun kamer naar muziek te luisteren en te drinken. We hebben echt hele diepe gesprekken gehad die avond. Dat hebben we altijd wel, maar die avond in het bijzonder. Onderwerpen zoals hoe vaak we ons werkelijk gelukkig voelen, onzekerheid en welke nummers we op onze begrafenis zouden willen hebben. Ik wil My Silver Lining van First Aid Kit. Jonathan vertelde ook dat hij had gelogen over de avond ervoor, dat hij het helemaal niet leuk had gehad, omdat hij mij de hele avond miste.

We werden dronken en gingen uit. Jesper wilde naar huis, hij liep opeens de club uit. Ik wilde dansen, maar Jesper had de sleutel niet dus we moesten achter hem aan. Hij was al weg met een taxi. We gaan dansen in Penang, beloofde Jonathan. Huh? Lauren en ik wilden naar Penang voor Chinees Nieuwjaar, maar nu zei Jonathan dat hij meeging! Whiee!

De volgende dag hebben we weer een rustig stranddagje gehad. Die avond zaten we weer buiten voor hun kamer muziek te luisteren en waren zij bier aan het drinken. Ik ging om 10 uur al in Jonathans bed liggen, maar de jongens hadden harde muziek opstaan en kwamen telkens binnenlopen. Ik was ook beetje onrustig, dus kon sowieso niet echt slapen.

Jonathan kwam om een uur of twee bij me liggen en toen hebben we nog tot half 7 elkaar dingen verteld en foto’s laten zien van waar we wonen. Jonathan zei dat hij in de zomer naar Amsterdam wil komen, dus ik heb hem alvast lekker gemaakt met friet bij de Heiligeweg, appeltaart bij Winkel 43 en ijs bij Toscani.

Een uur later moesten we alweer op om de ferry naar Penang te nemen, maar daar zijn we doorheen geslapen. We werden wakker door Lauren die op onze deur stond te bonsen waar we in hemelsnaam bleven en dat de ferry al vertrokken was. Oeps. Alle verdere ferry’s en bussen voor die dag waren al vol…

Dat werd dus geen Chinees Nieuwjaar in Penang. Toen was er het plan om met een boot naar een onbewoond eiland te gaan en daar te overnachten, maar door kans op slecht weer ging dat ook niet door. Dus gingen we naar de bbq die Ryan organiseerde in zijn hostel.

Die middag ging ik eerst even winkelen, omdat ik bijna geen zomerkleding had en er mooi uit wilde zien voor Jonathan die avond. Te zien aan de grootte van zijn ogen toen ik uit de badkamer kwam is dat gelukt. :)

De vrouw die in het hostel werkte had een heel schattig dochtertje, dus daar heb ik eerst een half uurtje mee gespeeld totdat ons eten kwam. Lisa is een Russisch meisje dat met haar moeder op Langkawi woont en thuisonderwijs krijgt. Ik vond dat best wel bijzonder. Lisa is nog een paar keer naar me toegekomen die avond, terwijl ik aan het beerpongen was (haha), om me haar knuffels te laten zien. Dus moest het spel even onderbroken worden om weer een nieuwe knuffelkat te aaien. Aan het einde van de avond zei haar moeder tegen me: 'My daughter really fell in love with you!’

Ik heb overigens een nieuw talent ontdekt: flip the cup. Ik had het nog nooit gedaan, maar vaak lukte het in één keer.

Jonathan was de hele avond aan het poolen dus ik had hem niet echt gezien. Toen iedereen naar het strand ging voor de vuurshow, wilde Jonathan blijven om zijn spel af te maken. Ik wachtte op hem, wat ik al best lief van mezelf vond. Toen iemand vroeg of ik zijn vriendin was, zei hij: 'No she’s just a friend.’ Dat maakte me weer pissig, omdat ik dronken was, maar ik zei niets.

We gingen in de taxi richting het strand, maar we stopten bij 7/11 om te pinnen. Voor de deur lag een gewonde kat, dus ik kocht een beker noodles, een blik tonijn en een fles water, gooide de noodles eruit en het water erin en deed de tonijn op de grond. Het katje begon gulzig te eten en te drinken en ik zat ernaast op de grond en sprak bemoedigende woorden. Iedereen wilde naar het strand, maar ik was dronken en emotioneel door de arme kat dus ik zei dat ik wilde blijven. Jonathan probeerde me mee te krijgen en zei: 'I think he’s going to be okay now Sammie. I can see he feels a lot better already, will you come with me now please?’ Lol

Op het strand raakte ik aan de praat met Victor (omdat ik me even ergerde aan Jonathans passiviteit) en we raakten achter op de groep toen we verder liepen naar de bar waar we altijd heengingen, wat best een eind lopen is. Hij is echt ultra spiritueel bewust dus dat was wel interessant, maar toen ik opeens besefte hoe lang we de rest al kwijt waren voelde dat opeens heel kut. Ik wilde bij Jonathan zijn. Victor ging naar huis en ik liep snel door naar de bar.

Jonathan vond het niet zo leuk dat ik zo lang weg was geweest met een andere jongen. Hij zei dat hij zich gewoon afvroeg waar ik was, maar ik zag aan zijn blik dat hij het niet zo chill vond. In plaats van dat hij dat gewoon zei, zei hij: 'I’m not jealous. It’s fine if you want to be with another guy, then I’ll just find another girl.’

Dat zijn geen dingen die handig zijn om tegen mij te zeggen als ik dronken ben. Wat ging hij nou opeens HTG (dat betekent hard to get mam, voor als je dit ook leest) doen, terwijl hij me achterna ging reizen, naar Amsterdam wilde komen en telkens zei dat hij me leuk vindt? Ik haat het als gasten zo doen. Dus Jonathan en ik hadden weer een dronken woordenwisseling.

Toen begon Jonathan te praten over dat hij hoopte dat ik een jongen zou vinden die me echt begrijpt en die heel goed voor me is, omdat hij vindt dat ik zo lief ben. Achteraf is dat heel zoet en ik zou geen relatie met hem willen ondanks dat ik dol op hem ben, maar op dat moment wilde ik gewoon dat hij zei dat hij met mij wilde zijn. Ondanks de afstand. Ondanks alles. Maar dat is dronken, emotionele, dramatische Sammievis.

Toen onderbraken een paar gasten ons onderonsje voor de club, omdat ze Jonathan herkenden uit hun piepkleine dorpje in Zweden!! Eenmaal in de club had ik een momentje met een super mooi meisje. Maar ze wilde niet met me zoenen, omdat ze op Langkawi woont, iedereen dan weet dat ze lesbisch is en homoseksualiteit is volgens mij strafbaar in Maleisië.

Goed, omdat ik zo dronken was heb ik dus eigenlijk een beetje mijn avond verpest. Ruziemaken met Jonathan, met een random meisje bezig zijn… Ik weet niet. Ik vind het maar tijdverspilling, als ik heel eerlijk ben. Drinken is toch leuk, zeggen mensen. Ik heb volgens mij helemaal geen lol als ik zo dronken ben, of erg bewust ben ik er in ieder geval niet van door de nevel van de alcohol.

Ik wil vaak gewoon zo graag normaal zijn (een van de redenen dat ik meedoe met drinken), ik voel me zo anders en daar worstel ik mee. Terwijl ik echt wel mensen ken zoals ik. Misschien heeft dat gevoel onbegrepen te zijn met mijn ouders te maken, die zijn allebei op hun eigen manier heel anders dan ik. Zou dat het zijn?

Anyway, de volgende dag voelde ik me erg verdrietig en raar. We zouden de ferry naar Kuala Perlis nemen en vanaf daar naar Penang gaan. Er was nog even stress, omdat we onze was pas konden ophalen op het moment dat onze taxi zou moeten vertrekken.

Lauren besloot op het laatste moment om op Langkawi te blijven en dus niet mee te gaan naar Penang. Ik vroeg uit het raam van de taxi nog hoe het hostel heette dat ze voor ons geboekt had, maar dat hoorde ze niet.

Tijdens de ferryreis heb ik op Jonathans schouder geslapen, ik was zo intens moe. Tijdens de busreis heb ik vooral nagedacht. Ik ben echt dol op de busreizen hier. Een paar uur waarin je niets kan dus niets hoeft, je hoeft zelfs niet te genieten, want je bent onderweg naar waar je eigenlijk echt heen wil, dus er ligt geen druk op. Fijn alle indrukken verwerken en je gedachten een beetje de vrije loop laten.

Die avond gingen we, nadat we ons hostel hadden gevonden, naar een rustig café aan het begin van de drukke uitgaansstraat. De jongens dronken bier en keken voetbal, ik dronk water en keek naar hen. Jonathan vindt dat ik te veel naar hem kijk en dat is misschien ook wel zo. Hij is gewoon zo prachtig en ik ga hem misschien nooit meer zien, dus ik wilde zijn gezicht goed in mijn geheugen krijgen.

De volgende dag hebben we een wandeling gemaakt en hebben we de street art bekeken waar Georgetown onder andere bekend om is. Dat was leuk. Ik zag een rat en vertelde dat aan J&J, waarop Jesper bijna een paniekaanval kreeg. Ik wist dat hij niet van ratten hield, dus ik vertelde het om hem te pesten, maar ik wist niet dat het zo erg was, dus ik voelde me nogal schuldig erna.

Jonathan boekte zijn vlucht naar Bangkok voor de volgende dag en daarna gingen we ergens wat drinken. Ik werd opeens ongesteld, wat mijn vermoeidheid, emotionele bui en pijn in mijn lichaam verklaarde.

Die avond, dus gisteravond, voelde ik me gek genoeg opeens heel verbonden. Ik had besloten om te stoppen met alcohol drinken, dus ik zat aan de thee en het water, terwijl ik J&J steeds dronkener zag worden. Ik schreef op de muur van het café: 'Travelling isn’t about the places you go, but about the people you connect with along the way. Love you J&J’. Dat vonden ze vertederend.

Er stond een man die zelfgemaakte sieraden verkocht. Tegen beter weten ging ik toch even kijken en ja hoor, toen werd ik vreselijk verliefd op een armband… De jongens waren zovan Nee Sam foei af koest, je hebt geen geld womannnn control yourself!!! Toch gekocht. Absolutely stunning. Wat wel geinig is is dat het een maansteen is, wat PMS zou verlichten. Toen we 'thuiskwamen’, beseften Jonathan en ik opeens dat het onze laatste nacht samen was. 'I’m really gonna miss this’, zei ik toen we lagen te knuffelen in bed. 'Me too’, zei hij. Vervolgens trok hij een heel ernstig gezicht en wilde hij dat ik hem beloofde dat ik nooit meer met een jongen samen zou zijn die niet heel lief voor me was. 'You are worth that. You really are. You know that right?’ Gek om hem zo serieus en emotioneel te zien.

Hij vroeg ook of ik wel wilde dat hij naar Amsterdam kwam. 'Of course’, zei ik. 'Maybe you’ll have a boyfriend then.’ 'Maybe’, gaf ik toe, 'But we planned this first so…’ Hij lachte. Een zoete stilte. 'What are you going to tell your friends about me?’ vroeg hij daarna. Dat soort dingen vraagt hij alleen als hij dronken is.

'Will you miss me?’ vroeg hij. 'Well, I am certainly going to think about you. And send you love and light every time I do.’ 'Really?’ 'Yes.’ Stilte. 'What about you?’ vroeg ik terwijl ik z'n wang aaide. 'Yeah, I am going to miss my little hoe’, zei hij plagerig. We glimlachten droevig naar elkaar. 'The last night I can hold you’, zei hij alsof hij het moeilijk te geloven vond en hij trok me dichter tegen zich aan.

Vanmorgen gaf hij toe dat hij me altijd expres pissig maakte tijdens onze dronken avonden op Langkawi, omdat hij het leuk vindt als ik boos ben. ????? En ik maar denken dat ik de psycho girlfriend aan het uithangen was die telkens boos werd op de arme verlegen jongen die niet weet hoe hij met meisjes moet praten! Terwijl ik blijkbaar terecht boos werd omdat hij de lul aan het uithangen was! Hij stikte bijna van het lachen om mijn verontwaardiging. Sneaky bastard. Ook ergens wel weer cute, omdat hij het zo leuk vindt omdat ik als ik boos of jaloers word omdat ik dan laat zien dat ik met hem wilde zijn.

We gingen met z'n drieën ontbijten vanmorgen. Er heerste een bedrukte stemming door het naderende afscheid. Jesper ging naar de AirAsia winkel om zijn bus naar Kuala Lumpur voor zijn vlucht naar de Filipijnen van die middag te boeken, hij zou zijn broer een paar weken later immers weer zien, ik ging mee naar het hostel om hem uit te zwaaien. Terwijl ik beneden op hem aan het wachten was voelde ik tranen opwellen. Ik zette mijn zonnebril op en liet ze maar gewoon langs mijn gezicht glijden.

We liepen hand in hand naar de hoofdweg om een taxi te vinden. Jonathan was de enige die soms wat zei. 'Turn left here?’ Ik knikte zonder hem aan te kijken. 'I hope there’s not a lot of traffic today’, zei hij duidelijk gespeeld vrolijk. De stilte, waar hij normaal zo van hield, maakte hem nu ongemakkelijk. Mijn stilte specifiek, waarschijnlijk. 'I don’t like saying goodbye to people’, mompelde hij. 'Me neither’, zei ik zacht.

Jonathan vond een taxi, onderhandelde over de prijs en deed zijn backpack achterin. Dit is het moment. Hij kuste me een aantal keer stevig en omhelsde me. Hij zei lieve dingen tegen mij, ik mompelde wat lieve dingen terug, maar ik was te afgeleid door de pijn in mijn borst en proberen te stoppen met huilen om mijn aandacht bij onze woorden te houden.

Hij probeerde de deur dicht te doen, maar dat deed paniek bij me omhoogschieten dus ik hield ’m tegen om hem nog een laatste kus te geven. We zwaaiden naar elkaar terwijl de taxi wegreed.

Er liepen tranen over mijn wangen voor een minuut of twintig. Toen was het verdriet eventjes op. Het was goed zo. Het was mooi en fijn en puur en eerlijk en liefdevol en helend geweest en nu was het tijd om los te laten.

Nu dat ik alles heb opgeschreven, voel ik me alweer een stuk beter. Een dagje alleen is eigenlijk precies wat ik nodig had. I’m going to be fine. ♡

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