#one thinness is not associated with a fucking gender

[touchlikethesun]

i think it's worth interrogating why, for some, "thinness" is associated with gender affirmation and niceness. i think it's worth interrogating why, for some, being bigger is associated with agression and ugliness. i think, if your first impulse to someone suggesting a character be depicted in a larger body is, "fuck you ewww how dare you," that maybe just maybe, you might have a few biases that you need to unpack. this is not saying that artists can't draw what they like, this isn't saying people can't headcanon what they like, but i wish people would think a bit deeper about why they view thinness as so desirable, and fatness as such an affront.

#i tried to be calm in the post but imma be a bitch in the tags #your skinny femme sirius is not fucking oppressed #and the way people in this fandom talk about thinness is genuinely triggering for me and for a lot of people #one thinness is not associated with a fucking gender #people of all sizes exist across the gender spectrum #what message do you thinks it sends if being skinny is integral to your conception of gender??? genuinely what do you think? #what message do you thinks it sends when fat characters are demonised ridiculed or flat out ignored??? #clearly you guys read harry potter growing up because you talk just like JKR #now i'm a bit older and i've done so much fucking work on my body image on making peace with myself on breaking out of ED and diet culture #but if i was 16 and still deep in my ED i would absorb this message like a fucking sponge #and i would probably be right there with you being revolted by fatness #don't take this as an attack take it as a chance to reflect on why you think the things you do and on the effects your words have on others #for me personally i really find super skinny super femme sirius triggering because of my history with EDs and my own gender issues #but for the most part i've made my peace with the fact that this is MY issue and so i try not to comment on it #everyone has their own experiences and i think it's good to be mindful of that #and learn when the best policy is to just disengage #i didn't comment on the post that sparked this initially because that's what i was trying to do #but i kept seeing it and i kept seeing some really awful things being said about fatness and masculinity and i just don't think that's righ #marauders #sirius black #ed mention #fatphobia #fandom culture

[headchefshcs]

I need more Brozone headcannons. Someone is going to spill their little secret to the public, if they haven't made it known already. How does everyone react? How many people get jealous? Imagine all the teasing in public, being their cockwarmer during interviews, being dragged around on a leash. They would definitely doll up their toy with pretty jewelry and clothes and make all the tally marks visible. And if someone asks they just shamelessly tell them XD

BROZONES BACK pt2 // ASK HCS

NSFW undercut Minors DNI, They/Them pronouns used

They probably are able to keep you a secret, well until they know that you’re completely devoted to them, so cock drunk and brain dead that you wouldn’t care regardless if you had a choice or not, they would slowly introduce you to the public. As started in the first HC they have close friends of Branch have private VIP sessions with you. Maybe one or two photos of those VIP sessions are leaked that show you being used and are put into the tabloids. But when the bros want you to be known they’ll make sure that they are in control of it.

Maybe when they’re announcing their next tour you can just barely be seen behind them. Soon you’re seen more and more and it becomes pretty clear on what you’re doing with them, during an interview maybe one or two let it slip, just barely. But when they finically make you public they do it in a way people are talking about it for weeks

People will definitely talk, are there others, how do you know them, are you just a paid worker?? There are definitely some people jealous, wishing that they could be just like you. Others want exclusive content of you and the band. How good you are and such.

The band probably sell exclusive revealing photos to VIP fans and maybe even a calendar or album. All of photos of all the brothers using you, or just photos of you fucked out of your mind, with their cum being very visible, as well as crisp photos of your tallies. With porn magazine always wanting exclusives, which the group is happy to provide.

During interviews you are often seen sitting on one their cocks, either you facing the camera or your back is. With JD, and Clay love having you face the crowd, Branch and Floyd love having you face them and Bruce rotating between the two. They love playing with your during the interview, playing with or pussy/dick or your chest, playing with your piercings.

With each interview you’re always mentioned, never by name, always being referred to as “your slut” “little pet” “your toy”. The brother always laugh when you’re mentioned and tell everyone how well you take them and how much of a slut your are. During panels your underneath the table they’re all sitting behind, sucking them off throughout the panel. When they go to leave they’ll drag out from underneath the table with your leash to join them.

They would definitely get you a collar, with a heart tag saying “properly of Brozone” and a pretty leash. They love when you wear it and love when they use it. They love when your dragged along with them, their follow then while your on your hands and knees, or your just walking behind them. You don’t know where your going half the time but that’s okay your don’t need to worry about it!

They love pampering you pretty piercing, they may add some new ones such as nipple piercing or ear piercing, with them being connected with small gold chain. They love playing with it when taking you from the front or back.

You also only wear colors that is associated with each brother, it’s always very thin and revealing lingerie, like it JUST barely covers your pussy/dick as well as your chest. you often wear it when your being dragged out back stage or in the tour bus. When you’re in public your put into cute short skirts (regardless of gender), and crop tops, your tallies still pretty visible.

They just think your so cute all dolled up, not having a care in the world

// this is my first ask (yay) hope u enjoy

#trolls x reader

[beneathashadytree]

LIVING A LIE - GETO SUGURU X READER

Warnings : this happens during the events of the last episode, reader is gender-neutral!

Genre : angst

Word count : 0.8K words

Additional notes : The Hidden Inventory arc fucked me up, and this is the result of it.

Tip jar if you’d like to buy me a Ko-Fi!

Masterlist

His arm was slung against the back of the couch, and he slumped against it like every single bone in his body had grown weary of carrying his own weight. Carelessly spreading his legs open, he didn’t even bother opening his eyes as he leant his head back, one hand reaching up to tiredly palm at his forehead.

Eyebags darker and cheeks gaunter than they’d ever been, Suguru looked like he’d aged twenty years within the span of just a few minutes since crossing the threshold to their apartment. The heaviness on his shoulders was still very much visible, despite how deceptively-languidly his body draped onto that worn-down couch.

It took all they had in them to not fret over him; after all, after the last failure of a time when they’d tried to get a word out of him, they knew better than to push him to speak when he was incapable of doing so. Though it dug deep into them to know that he wasn’t able to confide in them—or anyone, for that matter—it pained them even more to see his deliberate avoidance of the topic once brought up.

At times like these, ignorance often felt like the wisest thing to feign, though it killed them a little more each time they turned a blind eye to it all.

So, in order to push the rising feelings threatening to clog up their throat, all they did was just walk up to their boyfriend, who still didn’t bother opening his eyes—not even when they lowered themself onto his lap and nestled against him. Suguru didn’t move an inch when they took his arm and wrapped it around themself in a weak attempt at soothing their own rattled nerves, and didn’t acknowledge their sharp intake of breath.

“Your hands are cold.” Too cold, given how he’d always run a little warmer than them, and how his cozy embrace in bed had always been their favorite thing about winter. His skin was near-icy to the touch now, and the fact had them swallowing thickly around the lump in their throat.

His hand curled around their waist, like everything was exactly the same but entirely too different. His grip was far too loose, but it felt like he was the one threatening to slip away from them; like smoke into thin air. If they stopped pretending things were perfectly fine, it felt like he would disappear to never return again. And they would do anything to stop that from happening.

“Must be the wind outside.” His voice was little above a mumble, the normal inflections in his soft voice dulled down and monotonous. Though his chest was rising and falling against them, and though they could feel the pulse in his wrist against their skin, he sounded like he’d already long given up on his life, fleeting as it was.

Not breaking down into gut-wrenching sobs felt near impossible, but they somehow managed it. “Were you outside for long?”

He grunted. “No. Just a quick smoke break.” Turning his face to them, he cracked his eyes open. Dark brown eyes they’d always associated with dizzying warmth and deep affection were now murky and unseeing. They were trained on their face, yes, but it felt like he was staring straight through them—perhaps at nothing at all, and perhaps at something they just couldn’t see.

Whatever it was, just the sight of his empty gaze had them blinking rapidly, in a poor attempt at stopping their tears from spilling down their cold, cold cheeks. They still couldn’t stop the crystalline tears collecting at their waterline; couldn’t stop the way they dripped down despite how calm their expression remained.

Frankly, they most likely hadn’t even noticed that they’d begun crying. It was Suguru’s words that brought it to their attention. “Why are you crying?” A small flicker of worry amidst that emotionless pit they stared right into, then it vanished before they could make sense of it.

Agonizing pain ripped through their chest at that, and they hurried to stifle it with some choked-out half-lies amidst the staggering weight of the words they actually wanted to say. “I’m just… tired. More so than usual.”

Suguru blinked twice, before giving a stilted half-nod. His hand was caressing their waist, but it felt like it wasn’t even there. And despite his heart beating loudly in his chest, neither was it there either.

With all the bravery they could muster, they reached out a trembling hand to rest against his sunken cheek, and pulled the words they’d been swallowing down like glass shards for weeks on end. “Are you okay?”

And yet all they received in turn were more lies to set upon their crumbling house of falsities. Nothing could ever go back to what it was, now that they’d mastered living with their masks glued onto their faces. It would take immense brute strength to rip them off, and neither of them cared for the bleeding mess they’d leave in their wake. So all they could do, now, was live with the cracked faces they’d borrowed, even if just for a little while longer.

“Of course. Everything’s alright.”

Taglist: —

#imagine #oneshot #anime #angst #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #geto suguru #geto suguru x reader #geto suguru angst #geto #geto x reader #geto angst #getou suguru #getou suguru x reader #getou suguru angst #suguru x reader #suguru #suguru angst #getou #getou x reader #getou angst #geto jjk #getou jjk #geto suguru jjk #getou suguru jjk #suguru jjk #jujutsu kaisen geto #jujutsu kaisen getou #jujutsu kaisen suguru #jujutsu kaisen getou suguru

[unforth]

Been thinking a lot about gender. One of my closest friends and I share our nb and gender envy experiences a lot, and recently they shared a music video with me, and I said - jokingly, I thought - that I had gender envy for literally every person in the video, and it really got me thinking about...that...and what that meant...and how true it was, and I think I finally had a really valuable insight about my relationship with gender.

See, gender is confusing as fuck. People talk about "feeling" like they're a gender, and I've never really...gotten that. I have a pile of meat that holds my awareness, but I'm not particularly attached to that meat, and I'm not particular attached to the bits that are part of that meat, but I also don't want to permanently change to a different one. It's not like I'm thinking, "these are the wrong bits, I wish I always had some other gender's bits." Instead, it's more like, "oh, experiencing what it'd like to have those bits would be interesting."

And I realized...my ideal gender would be shapeshifter. It's not that I want to be a man or a woman or any combination of both or any third option...permanently.

I've always believed I only get one shot at life, that when I die I will be nothing, that therefore my goal in existing is to experience as many things as I can, because when all is said and done, all that will matter is that I had those experiences before I ceased. I won't ever get another chance. And as such...I hate being trapped in this single unit of meat that I'm not attached to. I want to experience things, all things, associated with having meat! I want to feel fat and thin, want to feel vagina and penis, want to feel abled and disabled, want to feel Black and white, want to feel all the shades between the extremes of the identities that exist. And don't get me wrong, I'm not at ALL saying "I want to try on other identities like they're a disposable costume, all the perks and none of the disadvantages." That's not it at all. I want to experience e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g, I want to live a year with all the pros and cons, and then live another year with different pros and cons. And again, I know there are problematic things about positing this, especially related to racism and ableism, but like...what I'm saying is impossible anyway, and I'm not talking about a reality, I'm talking about "what I realized about my relationship with gender when I recognized that I looked at a large group of people and kind of wished I could be...all of them."

I've been letting this percolate in my brain for a few weeks.

I debated between agender and nb for years before I decided I had days I felt kinda gendered maybe??? and went with nb. Then, I switched to genderfluid when I realized there were days when I did definitely feel distinctly "I wish was more dude" and other days when I felt distinctly, "I wish I was more lady" and then days when I thought, "I wish my gender looked less definable." And I think that was an important insight. There were definite, fluid preferences there!

But - combined with this insight, I think I finally "get it."

I don't wish I was a dude or a lady or whatever on those days, it's purely about appearance.

I want to be my essential, ungendered self, shapeshifting into different meat.

I can't be that, obviously. This is the meat I've got, and making changes to it based on...all of this...would clearly be foolish, because I'm never gonna find a permanent combination of meat parts that fit the genuine fluidity of form I wish I had. And, it's not fluidity of gender - it's fluidity of meat-shape. I don't want to be a man or a woman or anything else, I want to be me, with different flesh.

And that essential "me" isn't gendered and never really has been. Being female is literally zero part of my identity, except for the part that my meat has the bits associated with being a cis woman in our society. So, I think my long-time debate between agender vs. non-binary as a self-id got bogged down in the meat part, because I couldn't figure out how the self was interacting with the flesh, and now I think I've got it.

The flesh doesn't mean jackshit to me. I want to be formless, and free to experiment with forms, but bodies don't do that, so here I am.

Agender, with cis woman bits, wishing I could experiment with form to diversify my experiences of life. That's my gender. Agender, shapeshifter aspirant, lmao.

TL:DR I'm going with agender going forward because this meat is meaningless to me in any gendered way, and other meat would be equally meaningless, gender-wise. What I want isn't a different gender, it's to be Me Wearing Different Outfits, where "outfit" is "meat in a different shape."

I've been fighting with this gender stuff for almost a decade and for the first time...I think I've finally found the identity iteration that feels "right."

And I just thought I'd share, in case it helps anyone else.

#unforth rambles #tmi

[demiaroacejolynekujo]

I love how people are fighting with their whole lives trying to defend Christians

"But not all Christians..........🥺🥺"

If not all Christians, then why is Christianity the religion that caused the most deaths?

If not all Christians, then why are the people picketing outside of abortion clinics and Planned Parenthoods to "protest" abortion services are Christians?

If not all Christians, then why are the people who believe that Queer people are groomers and pedophiles are Christians?

If not all Christians, then why are the people who are telling women what they should or shouldn't do with their bodies are Christians?

If not all Christians, then why are the politicians who want to push laws to restrict a woman's right to her own body are Christians?

If not all Christians, then why are the politicians who want to push laws to criminalize being Queer by banning drag, banning gender affirming care, and banning Trans people from using the bathroom based on their gender identity are Christians?

If not all Christians, then why are the people pushing misinformation about the COVID pandemic and vaccines are Christians?

If not all Christians, then why are the politicians who refuse to do anything about the rise of school shootings and refuse to prevent them from happening again in the future are Christians?

If not all Christians, then why are the people who are telling disabled people that they're "possessed" and need prayer to be "healed" from their disability are Christians?

If not all Christians, then why are the politicians who disagree with the idea of separating religion from politics are Christians?

If not all Christians, then why are a large chunk of adults who sexually abuse children are Christians?

If not all Christians, then why are the majority of Zionists are Christians?

If not all Christians, then why are the people who get upset that there are other religious holidays besides Easter and Christmas are Christians?

If not all Christians, then why are the people who stole Pagan traditions and appropriate them are Christians?

If not all Christians, besides Antitheists, then why are the people who shit on other religions and try to convince others that there is one "true" religion are Christians?

If not all Christians, then why are the people who are blaming Jewish people for the murder of Jesus Christ (who was a Palestinian Jewish man who was killed by Roman Christians) are Christians?

I can go on and on with this, but I'm just gonna stop here. There are way too many instances where Christians have done shitty things to make me not believe that "not all Christians" bullshit. And the whole "not all Christians" shit has the same vibes as saying "not all men".

I also want to point out that I grew up Catholic up until sometime during middle school when I began to question my religion and became an Atheist. During that time, when I was still identifying as an Atheist, I learned about the atrocities that have been done by Christians from centuries ago up until modern times. That revalation made me realize how satisfied and relieved I was with my decision to leave the church and to no longer associate myself with Catholism.

I want to add to this that I don't give a fuck if there are Christians that aren't bigots. Those people are on thin ice, and they need to be held accountable the same way as bigoted Christians due to the fact that there are more instances of hateful Christians than good ones. If you say that you don't "claim" the bigots within your religion, then you have to prove yourself by continuously holding Christians accountable for their treatment of marginalized people.

#anti christian #anti catholic #anti christianity #anti catholism #ex catholic

[mr-snailman]

i am really curious about the social experiment you do with your pronouns in your bio. i mean you probably can’t tell me or it would skew your results but i would love to learn anything about it. even just when it ends or if you plan on publishing the results when it’s done

ahahah the social experiment. right. well I can actually tell you quite a bit about it. to start with your more direct questions:

when does it end? uhh. it doesn't, or at least it might not. maybe it will, but I have no idea when. indefinite timeframe.

will I publish the results? as of now, no. that is because as of now there have been no results. more on that later.

so the experiment in question is basically that I'm trying to see, if I provide people on the internet with no explicit guidance, what pronouns will they use to refer to me? what do people assume, based on what I choose to put out into the world? but, uh, the division between academic and personal is a thin, thin line.

(further answers under the cut cause I think I'm gonna pin this)

now I used to have pronouns in my bio: the ones I use in my everyday life, which happen to be the ones I was assigned at birth. it's become a running joke that although those pronouns do not match most of my self-expression or self-identification, I will probably continue to use them because I'm a stubborn bastard who resents moving my furniture or updating my operating system. somewhat change-averse, you could say.

but here's the kicker: on the web, and specifically here on tumblr, none of you know me. you weren't there to see me grow up, you don't have years of memories and associations and assumptions to color the way you see me. you aren't used to using one set of pronouns for me, so if you were perhaps to use pronouns other than the ones I usually go by, it wouldn't exactly be change, per se, and it would be...okay. I feel like I have more license to fuck around and find out here.

so: the premise of the experiment. what are my pronouns? well, what do you think? open to audience interpretation. wild mass guessing. (me, hiding behind a screen and a bit of academic language, trying to figure out a few things about myself and the world by way of crowdsourcing.)

however there were a few things I forgot to account for:

On the internet, generally speaking, unless things are going to shit, people generally do not do a lot of third person speaking about other users.

I'm a bit of a recluse, and although I would love to interact more w/ people on here (hiii mutuals) I typically keep quiet.

as a result, the whole license-to-gender thing hasn't really seen much action. it's just been sitting up there in my bio gathering dust.

but that's the deal! I'm glad you asked. maybe gonna clarify that a little in the bio.

#the snailman social experiment #< starting a tag cause this isn't the first time I've been asked

[marzipanandminutiae]

What's really digesting about cosmetic modifications is, some of the desirable features are natural features for slightly older women (gaunt cheeks, fuller lips, ect), and some are natural features fro younger girls (plumper features, rounder face, ect) and it's LITERALLY impossible for one person to have all of them at the same time naturally.

And some features this woman appears to be augmenting, like more defined cupids bows, are literally T-dominant features, meaning it's unlikely cis women will have them ever (and trans women would be told to modify their faces to get rid of them).

(and features like dark circles or deep undereye creases are not remotely related to age, I've had them all my life, literally since I was 6)

Anyway that woman is a vulture who prays on insecurity and f*ck her, seriously.

That's a very good point! (I assume you mean "disgusting," and I heartily agree). Genetics and hormones can be weird, and I don't know all the specifics- so if something in the ask is off in terms of age or birth-assigned gender association, readers, I genuinely have no idea -but it's true that many of these features are at least unlikely to occur at the same time.

And that not all of them are age-linked! I've had smile lines around my mouth at least since high school, just like your dark circles. I knew a girl who had forehead lines at the same age. Bodies are weird.

(I also hate the elimination of individual beauty. This woman talks a lot about "slimming the face" and advocated fillers to make that poor actress' jaw look more rounded or V-shaped. But why does it need to be like that? Even from a purely superficial standpoint, all the comments that poured in defending said actress talked about how gorgeous she looked just the way she was. So clearly women with strong jaws- or strong noses, or hollow cheeks, or thin lips, or whatever the Alleged Flaw Du Jour might be -ARE often considered beautiful. Not that beauty should be one's top priority, but since this nurse wants to approach it from that angle...she's still wrong!)

The TikTok account is just. An extremely toxic slurry on so many levels. I poked around on it a bit. She goes beyond "if you want it, here's what this does" and into "I get distracted talking to people, because their forehead creases when they emote make me want to give them Botox" and "no-one likes seeing your wrinkles" territory. Prescriptive, not merely descriptive.

Which is where I say, as you do, fuck right off with that bullshit.

#ask #anon #and as previously discussed I am not immune to Aging Vanity. I use eye cream which serves no other purpose #but this is just. entirely unbelievable

[spicyaltivez]

abelia, sage, jasmine, nutmeg, papyrus

I’d just like to say that the hellsite glitched and erased my progress on this answer. take two:

abelia: do you have a particular piece of jewelry you always wear or can’t part with?

I’d have to say it’s this thin gold necklace my gf gifted to me for christmas, with a tiny half orange hanging from it. “mi media naranja” (my half orange) is the spanish way of calling someone your soulmate, except people are very careful about throwing that phrase around and only say it when they mean it. as you can expect, I cried.

sage: what medium of art is most touching to you? why?

For this one, I’m tied between statues and poetry. I just get left in awe of the sheer skill and raw emotion shown by the artist, it strikes me in a very deep way.

jasmine: do you have a movie or book you loved but will never watch/read again?

I wish I had a cool answer for this one, but right now nothing is coming to mind when reading this. perhaps I’ll come back to ya on it.

nutmeg: how’s your room/home decorated? do you have a specific theme or style going on?

my livingroom has a nice theme to it: dark wood and black metal, contrasting nicely against the offwhite walls. this palette is spread from the dining table, to the shelves, to the tv stand and everything in between. I actually love it and it helps our lively plants and colorful Mexican decorations stand out. for rooms outside the livingroom, it’s all light or tan woods, color of my skin lol. again it helps our mexican paintings and sculptures and figurines pop out at you.

papyrus: if you put your playlist on shuffle, what’s the first song that comes up? what do you like about it/associate it with?

“Throw Away Your Television” by the Red Hot Chili Peppers! the whole band, every song, reminds me of my older cousin. he’s an inspiration to me in every way, he’s exactly who I aspire to be + some gender envy so all in all, he’s my favorite role model. hardworking, respectful, funny as fuck, and sweet. he’s the big brother I never had and I can’t wait to see him again. :)

#ask game #ask #thank u silver :)

[sarahoh]

[ seol in-ah, cis female, she/her ]  - was that SARAH OH i saw by the lighthouse today? i heard that the TWENTY-SEVEN year old who has been in nightrest for HER WHOLE LIFE and works as A BAKER AT THE DAILY DOSE has a reputation of being EXCITABLE, but also OVERDRAMATIC. she resides in ASHMORE & people in town usually associate her with THE SMELL OF PASTRIES WAFTING THROUGH THE WINDOW, CHIRPING BIRDS BRIGHT AND EARLY ON A WEEKDAY MORNING, and FINGERS FLYING ACROSS A PHONE KEYBOARD TOO FAST TO SEE. let’s hope the killer doesn’t go after her next. 

[ penned by sen, 18+, they/them, cst / gmt-6 ][graphics template by eternal summer]

BASICS: FULL NAME: Sarah Jae Oh NICKNAMES: None DATE OF BIRTH: 1996.xx.xx AGE: 27 HOMETOWN: Nightrest, MA ORIENTATION: Straight GENDER: Cis female, she/her ETHNICITY: Korean OCCUPATION: Baker

PHYSICAL: FACECLAIM: Seol In-ah HEIGHT: 5'6" / 167cm BUILD: Thin, short SKIN: Pale HAIR: Dark brown EYES: Dark brown EXTRAS: None

PERSONALITY: + traits: Excitable, peppy - traits: Dramatic, not the brightest, somewhat snooty

BACKGROUND:

She grew up in a wealthy family in Stoughton Estates; her parents having been the heads of a huge tech company. She was always fairly close to her older brother, but didn't get along with her older sister much, and they butted heads quite frequently. She wasn't close to her parents—her father was always working or taking business calls, she barely saw him. And her mother just annoyed her.

Early on in life, she was known as the golden child when it came to their family's social life (though that label faded quickly)—which never quite made sense to Sarah, as she couldn't stand it, and her older sister was better at it, anyway (unless she isn't-?). Her mother was very involved in the rich people social circles and cliques and even tried on multiple occasions to drag Sarah into it. That is, until the younger girl rebelled (unintentionally) by "creating a scene" (spilling a drink on a rich person) at a party. She was (to her absolute dismay) forbidden from going to any more events after that.

Sarah, of course, didn't give a fuck and continued to do things around school and the house. She was the head of the student government at Wardwell for two consecutive years, and therefore had to host all of the fundraisers and such—one of them being a bake sale. With her mother refusing to help (under the guise that she needed to learn how to do it herself—mostly she just didn't want to help), she threw herself in headfirst, getting her hands dirty and preparing for the event.

She had so much fun with the bake sale that she decided she wanted to do baking full-time, applying herself to culinary school full-force. Her mother (unsurprisingly) didn't approve of this job, so Sarah moved out at 20, buying a house in Ashmore to get away from them. They're still in contact, to Sarah's constant dismay, and she ignores her mother whenever possible.

Hasn’t ever really had a boyfriend, or a fling—though she’s had plenty of crushes. Her mother used to try and set her up on dates, but she weaseled out of them, not interested in the whole fancy dinner thing. Her mother gave up pretty quickly.

Her grades were never the best, being nearly boringly average the whole way through high school. She excelled in extracurriculars, not academics. It was no secret that school was not her favorite place, and she'd generally prefer to be anywhere else.

HEADCANONS:

super friendly, loved by everyone (in a way), which is how she usually ended up stuck in the middle of society. really, she just wants to bake her little pastries in peace. more of an introvert than an extrovert, just a really talkative one.

she's just a bit...dense, socially. really incapable of picking up on when people are flirting with her.

probably definitely needed jake to tutor her in math at least once because when i tell you she barely passed that class-

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

people that know her from high school and don't like her

people that know her from high school and do like her

friends (for the love of god)

people she can crush on

people that have a crush on her (she won't notice, believe me)

#{ intro } #// this isn't done but i want it OUT

[foreversecrets]

When Andy Advocated for Aria

Rogers Family Expansion Masterlist

Pairing: Andy Barber x Aria Pearson (OC)

Summary: After one failed marriage Andy was content to live life alone, but he walks into his sister engagment party and discovers the one person who makes it completely unacceptable for him to continue life as a bacehlor.

Rating: General

Rarely, but occasionally you form a friendship with someone that is strong enough to withstand all the struggles and time itself. Aria happened to be one of the fortunate ones to meet her lifelong best friend, Delilah Levinson when they were both 8 years olds. That friendship became the most important relationship Aria had after cutting herself off from her family. Which is how she found herself at the Rogers Estate to celebrate Deli’s and Bucky’s engagement. At least one of them was getting to end up with their childhood crush, to be fair both Deli and Ari told her to pick a different brother to develop an infatuation for. 

The twins always said one day they’d be legal siblings once Aria married into the family. Deli had urged her to give Lloyd a try but Aria found him far too crude and his sense of humor boarding on cruel, she put up with that pairing for a whole two weeks before she confessed to the twins her crush was on Andy. The same Andy the twins believed to be emotionally unavailable, they even thought him asexual at one point and didn’t want to put him in an uncomfortable situation. Then Andy brought his first girlfriend home to meet the family, Aria never stood a chance compared to the thin-almost anorexity thin- Laurie. How could she a plus sized, red-brown hair with dull hazel eyes who’d never met the beauty standards of her peers let alone Andrew Barber, at least not until she succeeded in becoming a successful model. Now she had her pick of suitors from all genders but in her heart she had never recovered from her childhood desires. 

The man who was supposed to be here today, alone. When Andy lost ‘his’ son and divorced Laurie, Deli had informed Aria right away. Deli had been so happy when he finally returned to the family but the past feelings were never brought up again. He hadn’t wanted her back then, why should it be any different now?

“Aria!” Deli spotted her best friend the moment she entered the room and rushed over, launching herself into Aria’s arms. “I’m so happy you could make it!”

“My best friend is getting married, of course I made it.” Aria smiled, breaking from Deli’s embrace to quickly give Bucky a side hug and greeting. Instead of engaging in conversation, Deli led Aria towards a small group of her brothers: Curtis, Lloyd, and Ari.

“Lady!” Ari smiled wide calling out her childhood nickname before squeezing her tightly in a bear hug. She has to push him off so she can breathe but she smiles at him nonetheless. 

“Curtis, Lloyd, you remember my friend Aria?” Deli asks, emphasizing Lloyd over Curtis making it difficult for Aria to stop her eyes from rolling. Deli was determined but it seemed Ari was on Aria’s side when he shook his head at his twin's efforts. 

“I do,” Curtis offers a polite smile.

“Last time I saw you, you were beating the shit out of Ronald Walker for photographing Deli and I in the dressing room at the mall.”

“Should have done worse.” Curtis grunted. Between sips of his beer Aria is able to make out a slight upturn of Curtis lips implying his pride in his actions.

“And what do you remember of our last encounter?” Lloyd smirked trying to garner Aria’s attention.

“You fucking you fist at the dinning room table in your fathers house.'' Her story, though true, was purposely meant to take him down a peg while the others laugh but Lloyd’s arrogance makes him preen. He is well endowed and knows it. Aria integrated herself within the group while Deli was pulled away to engage with other guests. By association she’d been rather close with Ari as well, his presence doing wonders to ease her as she converse with the group.

Andy was really late for the party but he’d spent all day speaking with the women Curtis had liberated to prepare them for the upcoming trial against Rumlow for his transgression against them. Most of them wouldn’t be of help considering how they were struggling to overcome the trauma and therapy wasn’t a magic fix all. Chole Collins was his best bet but that was a little tricky considering the connection that was developing with Curtis. Curtis who was as invested in this case as Steve whose reasons were keeping the family safe, which is also why Steve is paying all medical and mental expenses for the 15 victims. 

Offering the happy couple his congradulations then seeks out Curtis to provide him an update on Chloe. He finds him speaking with Lloyd, Ari, and a woman he doesn’t recognize. Curvy in all the right places, red-brown hair, and hazel eyes, she is physically appealing to him in a way he doesn’t expect. His ‘type’ having previously been thin, blends into the background, type of woman. The woman's lyrical laugh fills the room at something Lloyd says, realizing he’s going to have to be more assertive in pursuit of the woman he takes a deep breath and steps up to her.

“Hi, I’m Andy.” he puts his hand out offering her a kind smile but all the humor fades from her eyes as she looks down at his hand promptly ignoring it.

“I’m aware.” was her short replay.

“Have my brothers misled you on my character?” Andy asks looking to the men in question to glare but the men just watch on with barely contained mirth.

“There’s no need Mr. Barber, as you’re perfectly capable of diminishing your reputation all by yourself.” Aria chugs the rest of her beverage and then smiles kindly to Lloyd. “Can you show me to the refreshment table?”

A confused Andy watches as Lloyd leads the still unnamed woman away, waiting until they disappear into the crowd before rounding on his brothers for an explanation. 

“You really don’t recognize her?” Curtis asks smugly.

“That’s Aria Pearson, Deli’s best friend.” Ari explained. 

“That doesn’t explain the hostility.” Andy’s brows furrow.

“She’d been around since we were all kids, you’ve met her too many times to count and she’d had a crush on you since we were teens. So, not only did you not recognize someone you’ve known for over half your life but you crushed those old feelings she still apparently hasn’t overcome.” Ari says matter of factly, looking over his shoulder out of concern for his dear friend but finds her now conversing with Annie, Steve, Daff, and Frank. A good combination to perk up her mood while Ari deals with his socially inept older brother.

Andy swallowed realizing he was an asshole for not remembering her but how was he to blame for her unrequited love? It's not like she had even told him, teenage Andy’s ego would have inflated but he still would have let her down easy. But it was a weird situation to learn the woman he’d been about to attempt to flirt with had once desired him in the manner he found himself now wanting her. Not knowing how to correct things with Aria, he decided to focus on things he did understand and could control. 

“Chole’s given her official statement to police, she said she was okay but I think you should check in with her.” Andy advised Curtis who then nodded, said goodbye and excused himself from the group to go do just that. 

“So how are you going to make things right?” Ari inquired, Andy raised his brows at his brother nonverbally requesting her explain his meaning. “You’re interested in her.”

“And you’ve already stated-”

“Shedid but Deli and I have been telling her for years to pick someone else. Hell Deli’s been trying to set her and Lloyd up since we were 15 years old.”

“Lloyd?”

“Her is one of the single-”

“Why not you or Ransom?” Andy was more curious than envious.

“If there was attraction between me and Aria, I would have locked her down ten years ago. And Ransom can’t do a serious relationship.”

“And why wasn’t I an acceptable choice?” He's a little salty about his exclusion from potential suitors.

“Aria has a lot of insecurities that your lack of emotional availability would only hurt her.”

“Emotionally unavailable?”

“Come on Andy, you never talk about your feelings and sadly Aria is the kind of woman who needs constant validation.” Ari chuckles. “I guess that’s how she ended up as a model.”

“I suspect she’s going to be involved in this wedding so I’ll have multiple opportunities to win her over.”

Ari snorted, “Good luck, Deli is going to make it as difficult as possible. She is dead set on Lloyd and Aria.” Ari leaned over and whispered into Andy’s ear offering his brother support. “Between us, I’m rooting for you.”

“Trying to cause discourse in the family?” Andy smirked.

“No, I just think now, with the way we’ve all developed and changed over the years, you are the best suited in our family to marry her.”

“I’ll try not to fuck it up.”

Andy had always been closest to Ari out of all his brothers but his connection to Aria in this manner would provide him with basic assistance, so Andy sought out Steve. Annie had been all star eyes and gentle cooing while Andy told the story to Steve and revealed that he wanted to do right by the women as well as attempt to achieve Aria’s heart. Annie, always a fan of romance and love had practically demanded Steve aid Andy, not that she needed to. Steve was always looking for a way to improve the quality of life for his family. 

Steve had urged Andy to join himself and Bucky during their outing to get fitted for the wedding, informing his younger brother that Aria would be in attendance to ensure the men choose suits Deli would deem suitable. Her duties as Maid of Honor were taken to another level as she involved herself not trusting Steve’s sense of style. 

When Aria stepped into the shop, Andy couldn’t stop the smirk on his lips at Aria’s annoyance; she didn’t acknowledge him, opting to jump into conversation with the tailor and his apprentice. The conversation panned out well for Andy as he found himself being measured for a suit by the woman herself. 

“I owe you an apology for the other day. I didn’t immediately recognize you and I-”

“No need for an apology Mr. Barber.” 

“I wish you’d call me Andy.”

“I wish for a lot of things I’ll never receive.” 

“Anything I can grant?” he waggled his eyebrows.

“Not unless you have a time machine,” she whispers under her breath. 

“Trust me, I wouldn’t have been good for you back then. I was far too selfish and closed off.”

Rage and hurt are bubbling up in her as she comes to realize either Deli or Ari revealed her childhood crush to him. “You mean superficial.” Andy cocks an eyebrow at her. “Laurie was so thin I thought she had an eating disorder.”

“Aria,” he says softly, hoping she will meet his gaze so she can see he is earnest in his response. “I was a dumb kid back then but I’m a grown ass man now who knows better. You are beautiful, I promise you that.” he recalls Ari’s advice on her desperation for approval but he is suddenly doubtful of his verbiage as he sees pain flash in her eyes.

“I know my value, I have always known my value,” she whispers hisses at him, casting a quick glance around to make sure she isn’t causing a scene before continuing her thought. “And having your childhood crush finally acknowledge your existence may be every other girl's dream but I find it insulting that it took over ten years for me to finally be deserving of Andrew Barber.”

He sees tears start to fall from her eyes but has no opportunity to react before she leaves, announcing she needs some air. Once she’s out of the shop Andy lets out an irritated groan. This is turning out to be far more work than he had anticipated, he ponders for only a moment on if she is truly worth the effort. But even as he thinks about it he sees mental images of the couples around him: Steve and Annie, Frank and Daff, Deli and Bucky, and now Curtis and Chloe (kind of)-he pictures their struggles: infertility, abduction trauma, arranged marriages, cheating, and scandals. He has seen first hand how the strongest connections grow and build off strife and by comparison his ‘difficulties’ with Aria are menial, he should be able to come out on top. Now he just needs to figure out how or what to do or say to start breaking down Aria’s mental barriers. 

“Go after her!” Steve, Bucky, and the tailor instruct eagerly. 

They basically push him out the door to look for her and magically resolve her hurt. He finds her around the side of the building leaning against the wall weeping. For once, Andy knows just what to do to ease her emotions. He pulls her into his arms humming into her hair, his hands rubbing gentle circles into her back as he rocks them slowly. He feels guilty for causing this response even though he couldn’t have known she’d react this intensely. 

“I’m sorry, it's not right for me to hold animosity towards you for things you couldn’t even know.” she’d tried to calm herself, focusing on steadying her breathing. He remains patient, keeping his mouth shut as she unloads all the things that are bothering that she’s no doubt kept bottled up for far too long. “But the insecurities and self-hate my father embedded in me and it only intensified the day you brought Laurie to meet your family.” she’s stopped shaking now, tears completely stopped though her eyes and face are still red. But those beautiful hazel eyes look up at him with such melancholy it pierces his heart. “Its by no means your responsibility or fault I just-”

“Hey,” he wipes the drying streaks of tears from her cheeks and cups her face in both his hands. “You’re entitled to your feelings and even though it was unintentional, I contributed to the shitty opinion that has tormented you your entire life. I can’t repair the past but I can assist in your future moments of doubt.” 

“Why?”

“Because you’re important to my family and I’d like you to become important to me as well.” he seals his words with a firm press of his lips to her forehead.

“Thank you for coming to check on me,” she finally smiles up at him.

Before he can stop himself he says, “Thank me with a date?”

“”No,” she laughs.

“How about a dance at the wedding?”

“I suppose,” she sighs.

Two months later at the reception, after all the toasts and traditions, Andy finally finds Aria leaning on his chest while they sway for hours, surpassing the one dance she’d been obligated to provide him. The only interruption being the bouquet toss where Chole-Curtis’ official girlfriend, catches the arranged flowers when Daphne-Franks’ girlfriend, slaps it away from herself. Andy makes a note to ask Frank about that later, but for now he spots Aria smiling brightly and eagerly returning to him and that’s all he can focus on. The two being some of the last to leave with the promise of contacting one another soon to schedule their first date. 

#andy barber #ari levinson #steve rogers #frank adler #lloyd hansen #curtis everett #ransom drysdale #james bucky buchanan barnes #sarah rogers #mob au #mob boss steve rogers #mob frank adler #mob andy barber #mob lloyd hansen #mob curtis everett #mob ari levinson #mob ransom drysdale #mob james bucky buchanan barnes #plus size #insecurity

[jsewilsns]

✦ ᴅᴀᴄʀᴇ ᴍᴏɴᴛɢᴏᴍᴇʀʏ, ᴄɪs ᴍᴀʟᴇ, ʜᴇ/ʜɪᴍ ✦ 𝐉𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐄 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐒𝐎𝐍 the 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘-𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍 year old has been in Hidehill for 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘-𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐒 and was a 𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃 to Jade Parker, the missing person . Whispers on the streets are that the 𝐅𝐈𝐆 𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐇 𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄𝐆𝐔𝐀𝐑𝐃 & 𝐂𝐎𝐁𝐑𝐀’𝐒 𝐓𝐀𝐗𝐈 𝐃𝐑𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐑 who lives in 𝐇𝐀𝐃𝐋𝐄𝐘 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊. He is said to be 𝐃𝐀𝐔𝐍𝐓𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒 and 𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐁𝐁𝐎𝐑𝐍 but I guess we’ll find out for ourselves. { ɴᴏᴠᴀ, ᴛʜɪʀᴛʏ, ᴀsᴛ, sʜᴇ/ʜᴇʀ. }

hey demons it’s ya gorl nova, coming in hot with this rootin tootin doozy of a dude!!  jesse’s a long time muse of mine that i’ve neglected for far too long, so i’m super stoked to get behind the wheel again and begin writing with all of you!  feel free to hmu if you’d like to plot, or give this post a like and i’ll hop into your ims xo

———— ◽️ 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐒

full name.    jesse eugene wilson

nickname.    jess

birthdate.    october 22nd  ( scorpio )

gender.    cis male  ( he / him )

sexuality.    straight

relationship.    complicated

familia.    wayne wilson  ( dad, deceased ) ,  rachel wilson nee baker ( mom, in jail ) ,  judith baker ( g-ma, bingo hustler ) ,  wanye jr. ( older brother, estranged ) ,  jocelyn ( older sister, manager of the playpen ) ,  maisie ( younger sister, college out of state ) ,  blake ( younger brother, high school student )

occupation.    driver for cobra’s taxi & lifeguard at fig beach

traits.    boisterous, combative, dauntless, eccentric, evasive, loyal, protective, reckless, stubborn, volatile

inspiration.    jason stackhouse ( true blood ) ,  jj maybank ( outer banks ) ,  lip gallagher ( shameless )

———— ◽️ 𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐀𝐏

the wilsons have a reputation of being a wild bunch, very loosely based on the family dynamics of the gallaghers (shameless) and fez's fam (euphoria). raised in hadley park, they definitely weren’t financially well off and were notorious for having the cops show up at their trailer.

their dad, wayne, was an obnoxious and sometimes violent drunk, so he was in and out of custody a lot, while their poor mom worked tooth and nail to keep their family afloat but was understandably spread incredibly thin, so .... she had a pretty short fuse when it came to being patient with the kids. 

TW: death, murder.  long story short, their mom finally cracked after enduring all she could and shot their good for nothing, abusive dad point blank. this resulted in rachel serving life behind bars for the last ten years, which left the kids to be raised by their maternal grandma, judith.

in total, there are five siblings; three brothers, and two sisters. the first (wayne jr.) married into a rich family abroad, took his wife's last name and skipped out on them, embarrassed to even be associated with his own blood. the fourth (maisie) has been attending college out of state, which is a huge deal in their family, but she periodically visits during holidays and breaks. the fifth (blake) is in high school and he still lives with their grandma.

jesse was a troublemaker growing up and lowkey still is pretty rowdy. as a kid, he got into all kinds of shit and pressed every button he knew to set off a reaction in his parents, most likely just looking for attention. as a teen, it only got worse, especially when he tried to intervene whenever his parents got into physical altercations. multiple suspensions from school for getting into fights, abusing whatever he could get into his body at parties (which usually also ended up in a fight), and disregarding any sort of curfew or rules set at home. he simply did not give a fuck.

his mom’s breakdown and dad’s death shook him up a bit. he was used to the chaos in the wilson household, figured it was normal; that every home was toxic in one way or another. but he never imagined something so tragic would be a result of it. he visits his mom when he can get the time off work and make the trip to the state prison, more so out of obligation and guilt than him actually wanting to see her.

while packing up and leaving hidehill in the dust is a tempting ideal, jesse feels his legacy is in his hometown. his family, the trailer park, the community of hidehill in general is important to him. if you asked him, though, he’d never admit to it. in fact, he’d call it a shithole, like the rest of them. 

———— ◽️ 𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐒

played football in high school just to be able to tackle and get into fights with rival teams. also played guitar in a garage band. they disbanded soon after graduating though, barely having time to practice once they started working or studying in college, etc. but jesse still occasionally shreds some wicked solos on his old electric guitar when the mood hits.

pretty big fan of motorized toys. drives a red 1984 ford bronco, which he regularly hotboxes when he’s not working. also has his dad’s old dirt bike in his possession, which he rips around on the outskirts of town. 

one of the best drivers employed with cobra’s taxi because of the small amount of time it takes him to whip around hidehill’s streets. however, he’s known to be a little unhinged behind the wheel, so he gets mixed reviews.

the main reason he signed up to be a lifeguard was to get paid to chill at the beach lmao. but he’s like a fish out of water and quick to pull a baywatch run when needed.

because of the past abuse / trauma within the family, he has reoccurring night terrors, cold sweats, the whole shebang. potentially suffering from undiagnosed ptsd, and he thinks he does well to keep it under wraps with his boyish charm, but boy’s got some ugly anger issues.

frequents big guns, fast gas, dave’s liquor store, late night slice, and the playpen. definitely favors the nightlife hidehill has to offer.

smokes like a chimney, if that wasn’t already obvious lmao. tobacco or weed, he doesn’t discriminate.

wanted connections: a best frenemy, childhood friends / enemies, former bandmates, workout buddies, party buddies, cousins / aunts / uncles, ride or die, partner in crime, former flings / hook ups, good influences, bad influences, regular taxi customers, open to anything!

#hidehillintro #death tw #abuse tw

[trappedham]

!!

:DD

Okay so! Sonic oc! I'm not quite decided on a name, but I've got a few candidates; Sphinx, Tarnish, or Jumper. They're a hairless cat (I wanted to be quirky lol) but admittedly Sphinx isn't really. Original I guess, since Sphinx is... a type of hairless cat? I'm not sure if there's Only One type of hairless breed, I'm not well read in my cat knowledge. But that's where the other names come in, Tarnish and Jumper. I'm now quite sure where Jumper came in, it just sort of happened- but Tarnish, and I think this is the one I'm gonna go with, has a lot to do with her backstory.

Now, before we get into that, I'd like to introduce you to the rest of our cast, courtesy of @i-changed-my-url-fuck-you, because they made them! Currently, Tarnish is apart of a delinquent trio of crime fighters! ...they are the crime. And they do be fighting! So watch out!

First up is Glock the Dove, which. Oh lord, I adore them. I don't know much about them, but through trying to draw the team I headcanon that they have a bit of an ego, so that really makes me want them to be the ace or team leader. I guess that kinda makes Tarnish their lancer? Certainly not a theme that will continue, nope not at all.

But! More about Glock! I'm not sure what their gender is, if they have one, so I've been using they/them pretty exclusively. And just a headcanon on my part, but Glock appears to present masculine, so maybe the occasional he/him wouldn't be out of place Ultimately, it's not my choice tho cuz. It's not my oc. I just have a lot of blorbo thoughts can you tell <3

I'd include a picture or a link to a post, but I don't think Fuck You has come out with a post yet, and I don't wanna commit art theft- and I'd show you mine but... I've had this Curse of Dissappear Your Art Saves since like August and it's. Really. Really. Really. Really annoying. Clenching my fist as we speak.

And finally. Finally. Dimitri. Dimitri the Dormouse. This is an oc that Fuck You came into my askbox asking me for something to base an oc off of, and they've been in Fuck You's capable hands ever since. I can't wait to see how they turn out <3 I do have a couple headcanons/ideas for this one as well, but nothings set in stone. Currently, the idea is that they're sorta the handy one of the group, a tech whiz. I also hc them to be pretty young, so maybe they can parallel Tails... if they don't run off to go build planes together. Their associations should probably make them enemies, but I just don't see them duking it out so they probably only fight when necessary or for appearances, and probably go for fro-yo afterwards. Other headcanons include Dimitri being nonbinary amab, and using they/them pronouns. I was eyeballing a couple neopronouns bc I feel like I'm sorely lacking in that department, but I didn't feel any of them fit :(

Okay we can talk about Tarnish for real now, starting with her backstory.

Before the trio, there was a duo. Tarnish, a young kit, and a little bat named Rouge. They were displaced as kids when their city block was demolished in favor of erecting a brand new stylish hotel. They struck it out on the streets, stealing what they needed to survive. But Rouge saw greater potential...

With a new hotel came a new crowd, a new clientele- the rich kind. And if it kept them fed, well... Tarnish had no qualms about that. And feed them it did. Continued to feed them, clothe them- and when they were teens, their first apartment together. Rouge had found she liked wearing the fruits of their labor, gold chain and diamonds galore, it's own sort of reward. It's only now that Tarnish is becoming painfully aware of her growing homosexuality🌈

More years pass. The hotel, although resilient, catches up with the real estate values of the surrounding area, reclaimed by the slum neighborhood it tried and failed to replace. Reclaimed. Literally. Now a grown woman, Tarnish stares at the deed in her hands, claws threatening to pierce through the thin sheet of paper and tear it to shreds. It's just a stupid piece of paper, the practical part of her mind tells her. She shouldn't be so sentimental... this means a lot, to now own the wretched cause of her displacement. She can do whatever she wants with it, including demolish it.

Rouge is gone more frequently now, having to fly further out in search of gems to pay for their lifestyle. As it turns out, nobody wants to go to a slum to live it up in a gilded hotel. A polished turd is still a turd. No matter, Rouge is a treasure hunter! She'll find those gems!

Tarnish eagerly awaits for Rouge's return and to tell her the news... they wait. Wait some more. The bills come in. It'll be fine, right? Yeah. Of course. It's Rouge! She wouldn't... she wouldn't abandon her best friend, her best friend who's been hopelessly in love with since forever- Tarnish is left feeling like a god damn fool.

And has been angsting about it for the past 10 or so years. You know, like how all well adjusted individuals do. And that brings us to now... now Tarnish is a bit of a grumpy sourpus who does this face >:/ alot. But she really just misses her wife-not-wife. Djdbfjf

#this got long lol

[mrmallard]

While I'm reminiscing on weird fucked up periods of my life that I've moved on from, I'm gonna broach a topic I've touched on in the past.

I wanna give a big apology to bronies.

The impetus for this happened a couple years ago, when I saw this meme:

And it really put things into perspective.

Because yeah, there was an apocalyptically shitty subset of bronies who would go all in on how uplifted the show made them feel, before posting on forums and twitter and stuff with "redpill" talking points - white supremacy, the most heavy-handed and vile sexism imaginable, real fascist shit. It's a similar case with K-ON - dudes take a sweet, uplifting show and end up associating it with outright neo-nazi shit.

But the other half of the brony fandom, including both cis and transgender women, who had nothing to do with the other half ended up getting heat by association, not because they themselves were allying with bootlicking stormtrooper-wannabes - but because they were cringe. Because in a lot of people's minds, there was enough of an overlap between "neckbeards"/that mid-10's quirky personality type that came with bronies on the internet, and the channers who were being neo-nazis on twitter (the perceived overlap being that both were maladjusted bedroom dwellers who had trouble talking to other people like human beings), that they might as well be the same person.

I just spoke about this in some tags - I was in a very vocal, sex-negative slice of social justice posting on Tumblr for a while as a young adult, and one way the more toxic elements of that community manifested was in labelling bronies as sex pests who were making the internet unsafe for children, citing the brony fandom as another wave of misogyny laying claim to things that were made for girls and aggressively pushing those girls out of online spaces through their aggressive self-proclaimed ownership of it.

While it's true that not every benign, non-channer brony eventually became transfem, this meme still resonates because - and please excuse me if this is too much of a reach, but - this was happening at a time before there was a schism in the social justice/progressive circles that led to a newer fourth wave of feminism and the reactionary TERF movement who weren't on board with the broader points of acceptance it brought with it.

This was when assimilationism and rainbow capitalism were widely spread as a means of furthering queer acceptance in a heteronormative world, kowtowing to some ideal societal expectation of a Decent Person to let a very thin, rigidly defined archetype of the "tolerable gay" into the cultural zeitgeist. We were seeing emerging arguments among a younger generation about how transgender people fit into the queer community, given that you could have straight trans people - ergo, people arguing that transgender people didn't belong under an umbrella that predominantly focuses on sexuality.

Basically, what I'm getting at is that there are aspects of that anti-brony backlash that end up mirroring transphobic rhetoric, intentionally or not - and it might have applied even back then, sure, but it's especially prominent now that we're living in a world where TERF speaking points have been mainstreamed to the point that they have. And I fully believe that in retrospect, a lot of the most heavy-handed anti-brony posting (at least the stuff that wasn't clearly reacting to the more extreme 4chan aspect of the fanbase) was linked to what was essentially proto-TERFism.

There are bronies who found true self-acceptance in this light-hearted cartoon show about pastel-colored ponies living in an idyllic fairy-tale setting, and while some people had the MLP bug come and go with their view of their own gender unshaken, it makes sense that just about anything about this show could resonate with an egg to the point where they realise some fundamental things about their gender that helped them move on and become happier, more productive people in their own skin.

And in hindsight, being in that pre-schism Tumblr-progressive community that was just as likely to shit on bronies for being neo-nazis as they were likely to shit on bronies for being cringe - that was a fucked up environment to be in. Eventually there was a dissonance I noticed between the stated beliefs and goals of the social justice community I saw myself in, and the really sketchy, aggressive way people in that community treated gender non-conforming people, or people with non-vanilla sexual proclivities behind closed doors, or people whose main crime was being socially inept and not very presentable - but until that dissonance manifested, and I took the time to leave all that behind and do the soul-searching that led to me becoming a better person, I was a part of that problem. I was trying to fit in with an environment that told me I was making up for past transgressions by targeting the right people and groups, and times like these - and a lot of times, honestly - I really wasn't. I had a lot of growing up to do.

I can only see a lot of these cracks in hindsight. And I'm sorry for participating the way I did and getting roped into all of that. Whether you were a closeted trans girl whose egg got cracked by My Little Pony, or you were just a megafan in the heyday of the craze who celebrated how fresh and innovative and emotionally resonant it all was - the anti-brony shit got way out of hand, and I think a lot of people owe the broader brony fanbase of the early 2010's a bit of an apology.

Parts of the fanbase were absolutely rancid - but fuck, as much as people love Avatar: The Last Airbender (myself included, that was my first huge fandom moment), there are slices of that fanbase who take things way too far. We don't discredit and drag the entire fanbase through the mud because a few extreme people don't know how to treat other people with basic human dignity. We acknowledge that extreme minority for what they are and we criticize them for that, and we still celebrate the show and communicate with the people who make the broader fan experience worthwhile.

As much as the bad apples were ruining the common perception of the show's unintended demographic back in the day, a lot of people who called themselves bronies and pegasisters and stuff like that should have been left alone to enjoy their favorite show amongst themselves. They weren't out to hurt anyone, and I think the show did a lot of good for a lot of decent people. I feel bad for contributing to a broader backlash against bronies of the time, and I apologise for any role I played in that. I never thought I'd ever reach a point where I would say this, but bronies deserved better than what they got.

#tw: transphobia #long post #messyposting

[theaustinrockwell]

I'm Not That Great

Despite my anger with men and women when it comes to dating, my thoughts over the past couple of days have been punctuated by the idea that I'm not even that great. The reason that I'm not doing well in relationships is because I'm not as good as I think I am. Yes, people talk me up as a person and compliment me plenty, but that's just as a regular person, gender aside. That's enough to get into a relationship, right? No, it is not. The problem of my being both "great" and "not so great" is that I am super not great at being a man in a relationship. I lack the leadership qualities, the backbone, the ability to make a girl feel cute, all sorts of things. These things have nothing to do with my hobbies or my kindness or the things that people compliment me for (thus my previous confusion). It's like I was building skills on the wrong skilltree, like an RPG. And people would say, "Yeah, you are great in these areas that a lot of people choose to be bad at. Yeah, you treat others well and are patient and you're a great artist, etc. Yeah, I'm jealous." But when I tried to cash that in for a romantic relationship, people would say, "No, that's not what I'm looking for." Which would make me feel taken for granted. It almost seemed abusive that way people would talk me up as a friend and then keep me at arms length or push me away like I was too broken to get close to. "You're so great! Also, stay the fuck away from me!"

The problem seems to be that I was not able to offer what they wanted in a relationship: masculinity. I did not offer the leadership, the physical strength and safety, or the drive that they were looking for. I did somewhat at first, and the girls I had flings with really took to that. But that veil was so thin and it was so not the "real me" at the time, that it didn't take long for them to see through it and push me away.

I planned for this post to be a couple of sentences long, where I simply state that I realize I'm not that great of a man to be in a relationship with and that had I played that role poorly with girls in the past. A lot of men are better at being boyfriends and husbands than me. The very least I can do is be more fit and improve my self defense skills. How am I supposed to make a girl feel small and cute if I'm the small and cute one? How am I supposed to make her feel safe? She can be strong and able to fight if she wants, but it's not her fucking job to be. It's mine. I used to think that men and women should be roughly the same in relationships: do the same things, think the same way, men not needing to be physically stronger, all that. But women actually fucking hate that. And I think the most masculine, type-A women hate it even more. A man who is masculine enough to make any type of women still feel cute and feminine and powerful in whatever version of authentic femininity is most true to her is a great fucking man. I see how my inability to play the male role has bitten me in the ass in every relationship with women that I've had and how my expectations of sameness have killed any feelings girls had towards me. It took years of failure, embarrassment, and even a bachelors degree in biology to see that gender is important in relationships. Species that have two roles in sexual reproduction also have complex mating dances and social roles associated with those sexual roles from birth until death. Each sex of a species shows off its beauty or its ability to gather resources. Males try to impress females with dances and colorful feathers or their ability to gather dung even (dung beetles). Humans are smart, but we're not above this. Our ancestors and neighbors in the evolutionary tree all have gendered behaviors and roles. They have some in-betweeners sometimes too and some gay and bi relationships, because it is evolutionarily prudent to have difference, but the majority of beings in a sexually reproducing species do their damnedest to play their role in the mating dance. Name one species on Earth that both sexually reproduces and has complete social and physical sameness. The reality of this has smacked me in the mouth with my repeated failed relationships, despite the inability of anybody close to me to point to what is "wrong with me." Nothing is "wrong" with me. Yes, I do have a lot of good traits and no people are not buttering me up or lying to me when they say they appreciate those traits. People are being honest with me, so I can stop being cynical about it. It's that I am sucking at being a good man and at making the women I care about feel loved. I am good and I am a man, but I am not being a GOOD MAN. That is why I am failing. There are other reasons for these failures to do with my being anxious and attracting similarly anxious people, yadda yadda. But, like I've said in previous posts, I am missing the core of masculinity, and women (who like men) want to be in a relationship with a man. AMAZING. MIND BLOWING. This sentiment is even echoed in Norah Vincent's "Self Made Man," where she, a cis lesbian, spent a year living as a legitimately passable man. A good man is not simply a woman in a male body. Women love men who are GOOD MEN. A world without healthy masculinity is damned and dangerous to women. As Scott Galloway says, "You need some of that big dick energy when Russia is pouring over the Ukraine border." Masculinity that provides and protects is good and is necessary.

It is becoming clear to me as I write these posts that I need to take more steps more quickly to become a good man. I am working on my ability to physically protect people I care about with weightlifting and MMA, but I need more muscle ASAP. My cardio is there, but my muscle ain't. I'm also going to sign up for firearm safety courses. I need to kick ass at my job and my mission in order to provide for those around me. I need to be more socially aware. There are power plays for status that will hurt me if I am too oblivious to play as well. Not caring about dumb social games goes a long way, but complete disregard for social rules and hierarchy is taking that too far and will make me come off as naive as people have always told me that I am.

I don't need to dig into this any more for now. Masculinity is good. Femininity is good. Roles are useful. Don't be a dick. Be physically, socially, emotionally, and financially capable as a man. Help women feel loved. End.

[anghraine]

“It’s so important to show that women can be heroic leads and feminine too!”

Yes, because there are so many gender-nonconforming female leads. Women who don’t fit conventional standards of feminine bodies and feminine movement and feminine features and feminine emotions are just overwhelming the market.

#yeah conforming to conventional standards of femininity is shamed bc everything associated with women is #happening to fit patriarchal expectations and getting shamed for it anyway is misogyny! yes! #but it is not all equivalent to what happens to women who defy those expectations - on purpose or by happenstance #but somehow every conversation has to end up being about women who wear make-up or are thin or shave or whatever #or those conversations are attacked for not being about feminine women for one moment #'okay but i wear make-up because' thanks that has fuck-all to do with the widescale harm of western patriarchal beauty standards #perpetuated by the beauty industry #we all participate in the world and its systems you're fine go have a conversation about being oppressed by gnc women elsewhere #anghraine rants #vagueblogging intensifies #gender blogging

[lovelybucky1]

through the wall (frank castle x matt murdock x reader)

warnings: reader with a vagina (no gendered pronouns), accidental voyeurism, exhibitionism, masturbation (male), oral sex (reader receiving), dirty talk, implied threesome, frank castle’s mouth, 18+ minors dni

masterlist

the safe house the three of you were staying in had two bedrooms, fortunately. theoretically, that gave you and frank your privacy while matt could sleep in semi-peace on his side of the wall

unfortunately for matt, no amount of space could stop him from hearing the sounds of you and frank having sex.

matt may be blind, but he’s not stupid. he knows attractive people when he comes across them, and you and frank are certainly a sight to behold.

he didn’t plan to be trapped in jersey with the two people who get his blood pumping like no one else, but things never go matt’s way, do they?

matt knew you and frank were in a relationship, or at least that you hooked up, but he never thought he’d get to experience the live performance through the thin walls of the shitty safe house.

matt tried not to listen, he really did, but it was so loud and he couldn’t concentrate on anything else. it wouldn’t hurt to listen just this once, right? whatever, he’ll say an extra few prayers to make up for it.

he laid back on the uncomfortable mattress and focused his hearing.

“this pussy’s so fuckin’ wet, doll. only you could be this fuckin’ needy while we’re runnin’ from the goddamn mob”

franks gruff voice is met with a noise matt never imagined you were capable of making. he never expected you to be so submissive, but at the same time, he imagined frank would be a lot meaner. but this is just the beginning.

“just couldn’t keep your damn hands to yourself.”

as matt listens through the wall, he lets his mind wander. if he were to join you, how would it work? would he join you in submitting to frank, or would the two of you gang up on him? he doubts frank would let him share you, but that thought alone could make him cum.

“what’s got you so worked up, sweetie? was it me takin’ all those guys down by myself?”

“d-don’t flatter yourself.”

your voice is breathy, strained, and it makes matt wonder what frank is doing. there’s a quiet wet sound that matt can pick up, but he can’t identify it.

“was it all the guns and blood? i know you’re sick like that, don’t try to deny it.”

matt’s hand drifts over the tent in his sweatpants, and he has to suppress the noise that threatens to spill from his lips when he does. he feels so wrong listening to his… associates? friends? having sex like this, but what’s the devil without sin, right?

“oh, i know what’s got you gushin’ all over my face like this…”

matt curses quietly as he imagines taking franks place in between your thighs, being the one to taste your juices.

“it’s cause red can hear us, isn’t it? you like the idea of him listenin’ to your slutty ass gettin’ fucked, huh?”

matt is so caught up in his imagination that he almost missed his fantasy coming true. you’re talking about him during sex, about him listening, about him doing exactly what he is right now.

“i bet he’s jerkin’ off right now, listening to this. hand down his pants, face in the pillow, tryin’ not to make a sound so we don’t catch him.” frank chuckles and that mean, taunting tone that matt expected from him was back, this time, directed at him.

matt does exactly what frank says and pushes his hand past the waistband of his sweatpants and into his boxers, grabbing ahold of his painfully hard cock.

he strokes himself slowly, not wanting to give himself too much too soon, knowing his own lack of self control would get the better of him otherwise. he swipes his thumb over his wet tip and his whole body breaks out in a shudder.

“i don’t blame you, though. kid’s got a nice ass, i wouldn’t mind leaving some handprints on it. bet he’d love that, fuckin’ masochist. i swear he gets me to beat him up on purpose.”

matt bites his fist to stop a moan and damn frank for being so perceptive.

“i might have to show him the ropes with you, though. he’s a good little church boy, probably a virgin,” frank laughs, but it sounds muffled like his mouth is against your skin.

frank knows matt isn’t a virgin, he knows. it’s a taunt, a challenge for matt to prove himself to both of you, but rising to it would be admitting that he’d been listening the whole time, which is shame matt isn’t quite ready to face

“shut up, he’s not a virgin,” you reply, and matt can hear a quiet hiss from frank like you just pulled his hair. “he could probably fuck me better than you could.”

“that right?”

and now matt certainly doesn’t want to get involved. frank normally is dangerous enough, but frank when he has something to prove is someone matt prays he will never have to face.

“why don’t you tell pretty boy to come in here and fuck you so i can see how much better he is, huh?”

“are you sure your ego can handle it?”

for the first time since you started, the safe house is silent.

“you heard ‘em, red. get your hand outta your pants and get over here.”

without another thought, matt is springing from bed, running across the hall, and knocking on the door to your room.

he hears quiet laughter and some shuffling before the door swings open, revealing a half dressed frank.

“you need somethin’?” frank asks smugly.

“yes, god yes, i can’t take the teasing anymore.”

frank grabs matts arm and yanks him over to the bed where you lay with your legs spread.

“they’re all yours, red.”

#matt murdock #frank castle #matt murdock fanfiction #matt murdock fanfic #matt murdock x reader #frank castle smut #frank castle x reader #frank castle fanfiction #daredevil #punisher #the punisher x reader #daredevil x reader #matt murdock x fem!reader #matt murdock x gender neutral reader #matt murdock x f!reader #matt murdock x female reader #frank castle x female reader #frank castle x matt murdock #frank castle x matt murdock x reader #poly matt/frank