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is0gild · 4 years

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Ice Cream and Fire Oven Pizza - Chapter 14

Pairing: Elsa x Lea/Axel || Side Pairing: Riku x OC

Summary: Modern AU. She's an introvert ball of nerves who works at Ice Palace, a mall food court ice cream shop. He's the outgoing, sassy goofball who works at the Pizza Planet across the way. Hilarity, snark, and fluffy romcom hijinks ensue.

Word Count: 5,299

FIRST CHAPTER || PREVIOUS CHAPTER || NEXT CHAPTER

Credit for super friggin’ cute and super friggin’ amazing cover art goes to the super friggin’ talented ky-jane here on tumblr!

I consider myself a pacifist. A live-and-let-live sort of person. I wouldn't hurt a flea.

"Oh Anna? Precious baby sister of mine, apple of my eye, fruit of my heart… would you come over here for a moment? I want to show you something."

When it comes to Anna however…

"Yes Elsa? Dearest big sis, uh… pop-tart of my soul, chicken nugget of my… nose. Might I first ask what precisely it is that you wish to show me?"

Anna I would hurt. Especially when she royally deserves it.

"My fingers wrapping around your throat and squeezing. Hard."

"Ya know, as fun as that does sound, I think I'll pass."

"Come here, you little-" I snarled, dropping the sugary-sweet facade and making a lunge for her over the couch that she'd been keeping between me and her. She squeaked and jumped backwards out of my reach, nearly toppling over Rayne's coffee table but with a flail of her arms, barely managed to stay upright. I banged my fist against a cushion, narrowing my eyes on her and huffing through my nose. Then I bolted to the left and Anna immediately took off to the right, staying ahead of me as I chased her around the sofa a couple times. From the kitchen, Rayne, Riku, and Lea observed silently from their seats around the dining table as they munched on some popcorn.

The two of us came to a stop after a few laps, still (much to my annoyance) on opposite sides of the couch. Panting to catch her breath, Anna snapped, "I dunno why you're so frigging mad even, I was only trying to help!"

"Help?!" I scoffed, placing my hands on the backrest of the sofa, my fingers crushing the pillows. "You nearly gave Uncle Weselton a heart attack and killed him!"

She looked away, razzing her tongue. "Eh, I woulda been doing the world a favor."

"Anna!"

"What?! The old geezer was fine, wasn't he? Only blacked out for like a minute tops! Then he was back up and marching out of the place in a huff all," she lifted her nose into the air and her voice got deep and snooty in her best impersonation of the Duke as she stabbed an index finger up high, "when your father and mother hear about this, young lady, there will be a reckoning! You hear me? A reckoning! Blah, blah, blah, my nose is too big and my combover looks like hamster roadkill!"

My eyelids drooped. "...his exact words."

"Oh yeah, verbatim."

Growling, I suddenly vaulted over the furniture-turned-barricade in an attempt to catch her off guard, but she was ready for the surprise attack. In the blink of an eye, she'd turned, bounded over the coffee table and darted into the bathroom, slamming the door shut in my face just as I got to it. I jiggled the knob, but it was already locked. Banging both my hands against the wooden surface, I yelled, "Dammit, Anna, you can't hide in there forever!"

"I can and I will!" her voice came back muffled from the other side. "I got running water in here, baby! I can stay hydrated, shower… just you watch, I'll survive in here for years!"

I crossed my arms, scowling at the door. "And what, pray tell, are you going to do for food?"

There was a long pause. Then, "...Floss! That's right! I'll slurp it up like spaghetti! Shampoo will be my sauce and crushed-up toilet paper will be my meatballs!"

Pinching the bridge of my nose, I grumbled, "You can't eat toiletries, Anna."

"Try and stop me!"

I twitched. Then I reeled an arm back, zero-point-two seconds away from breaking the stupid door down through sheer force of will alone, but a hand on my elbow brought me up short. Glancing over my shoulder, I saw it was Rayne. She greeted me with a small, gentle smile, "How 'bout we have a seat and cool off for a second, huh sweetpea?"

Her soft but firm grasp on my arm pulled me towards the kitchen, my feet dragging while I glared back at the bathroom door as I was taken away from it. When we reached the dining table, she put her hands on my shoulders and pushed down, forcing me to take a seat in one of the chairs.

Right next to Lea.

Which had the unfortunate side effect of reminding me of his existence. That he'd been here this whole time, watching me spend the last ten minutes or so trying to murder my own sister.

"Oh gosh, you must think I'm a crazy person," I groaned, burying my face in my hands as Rayne took a seat on my other side.

I heard him chuckle and I peeked out between my fingers to see him flashing me a grin. "Not at all! I actually kind of like seeing this side of you, El. It's fun!"

For a guy who'd just had it sprung on him that he was my boyfriend and one true love, he was taking it with a surprising amount of ease and good humor. That is, once he'd gotten past the initial shock, of course. In fact, now that he knew what was going on, he even seemed to find the whole thing funny. I wished I could laugh so easily at this big mess Anna had put us in.

Speaking of the little brat, as soon as the Duke had stormed out of the mall, she'd made a pretty hasty retreat herself, saying she'd see me back at my apartment. I think she'd hoped Rayne would keep me from slaughtering her. Unfortunately for her, it seemed my roomie was less interested in keeping her alive and more so in just watching the live entertainment unfold in her own living room.

Lea averted his gaze now, rubbing the nape of his neck, "So… a fiancé, huh?"

Oh. Right. Then there was the fact that he was just finding out about all of that too.

Feeling a tiny blush creep up into my face, I quickly hid it by looking down at my fingers fidgeting in my lap. "Uh… no. I mean, yes. I mean, not... anymore, that is. More of an… ex-fiancé now."

"That's good." Even as the words were leaving his mouth, he stiffened and winced, tacking on hastily, "Just cuz… ya know, sounds like a relationship you, er… didn't wanna be in! So it's good you got out of it! That's all, heh!"

"Yeah, I suppose." Sighing, I shook my head, "In any case, I am so sorry Anna dragged you into all of this. I don't know what she was thinking! Only trying to help," I repeated her words with a roll of my eyes, "ha! Her help," air quotes, "was a total disaster. A trainwreck, a catastrophe! We're talking the Titanic meets the Hindenburg! We're talking-"

"Hey, hey, it's okay, really!" Lea placed a comforting hand on my arm. "I don't mind. And I'm sure it's not all that terrible."

With a grimace, I said, "You don't understand. It was already bad enough that this is how my parents found out where I disappeared to and what I've been doing. But now Anna's made things a thousand times worse! I can't put off talking to them anymore. Now I have to go see them and, on top of trying to make them understand why I ran away, I have to explain that Anna was just making things up and-"

"Or," Rayne cut me off, reaching for the bowl of popcorn in the center of the table, "you could just, ya know…" she tossed one into her mouth with a shrug, "...not."

I stared at her blankly. "...I'm sorry, what now?"

"You heard me."

"You want me to lie to them?!" I asked aghast as I tugged at my hair, still in its ponytail from work.

"Well, not so much lie as…" she paused, pursing her lips to one side for a second before her eyes lit up, "as let them believe something that is not wholly true and just not correcting them!"

I gaped at her.

Apparently, Anna's lunacy was contagious now.

"...this is insane. Riku, tell your wife the words that are coming out of her mouth are insane."

He choked on the puffed kernel he'd just popped into his mouth. Coughing and thumping his chest with a fist, he then waved his hands back and forth in front of him, "Oh-ho, no, I'm staying out of this. I'm just here for the snacks." I narrowed my eyes at him and he shrugged. "What, it's not like I'm going to disagree with the future mother of my child."

Lea sniggered and made a whip noise with the accompanying hand motion. Rayne chucked some popcorn at his face while Riku merely raised a glass in his direction, "Damn right, and happily so."

"Come on, this is serious!" I turned my frown on Rayne, "In what possible universe does letting my parents think I ran out on my wedding to be with some random mystery guy help this situation even remotely?"

She smirked, "Think about it, boo. Your uncle has probably already told them by now. The damage is done. In fact, it might do more harm than good at this point if you tried to backtrack and tell them you deceived them by-"

"That I deceived them?!" I shot up to my feet, crisscrossing my arms over my chest and swiping my hands out wide in opposite directions, "No, no, no, this was all Anna! She was the one to make it all up, I had nothing to do with it!"

"Why then didn't you tell your uncle that before he left?" she cocked her head, arching an eyebrow at me.

I blanched before glancing away, my fingers absently drifting up to tangle themselves into the tip of my ponytail once more. "Well, I… that is, he just left so... so quickly! I didn't have time to, uh... a-and he was so mad, I couldn't get a- I mean, I was still getting over the… the shock of what Anna had- and then I was just so relieved the Duke was o-okay that I just didn't even think to-"

"Mm-hm," Rayne's eyelids drooped. "Sweetie, if you can't even explain yourself to me, how do you hope to even have a snowball's chance in hell of making a case to your parents?"

I collapsed back down into the chair with a heavy thud and slumped forward, elbows on the table and fingernails raking into my scalp, "Oh gosh, I'm an accomplice. I'm complicit in Anna's harebrained scheme. This is my nightmare."

I felt Rayne's hand patting me on the head. "There, there. It's not the end of the world. And as… misguided as Anna's attempt to help was, she may have actually done you a bit of a favor."

I looked up at her incredulously. "How?"

"Alright," she propped her chin in her palm, "say you went to your parents right now and told them the truth. There is no other guy. You're just not in love with your ex and don't want to marry him, plain and simple. What would they do? Accept it and be happy for you?"

"Of course they-" my eyes widened as the words died on my tongue. Then I was slowly shaking my head, "...no. No they wouldn't. Actually, they'd probably still try to force me to marry him."

She wrinkled her nose with a frown, "Thought so. Cuz there's no obstacle right now. Nothing standing in the way except a measly thing like your feelings. And in the silver-spooned world you come from, I imagine feelings are a luxury."

A heavy sigh escaped me, "More or less."

"But thanks to Anna, you now have a big mountain of a bad-boy boyfriend-shaped obstacle that makes it a lot harder for them to argue with. Ta-da!" she swept her hands out in a flourish towards Lea, whose head rocked back as he blinked.

Scratching a spot behind his ear with a tiny laugh, he said, "Oh c'mon, Raindrop! Bad boy? I dunno about that. Maybe a year or two ago..."

"Yeah yeah," her hand batted the air dismissively, "you've turned over a new leaf or whatever, but her folks don't know that! And with that wild red mane of yours and all that guyliner, you can still easily look the part. We don't need some nice-guy goody two-shoes who looks like he'll just let Momma and Poppa Fryse walk all over him. We need someone who'll scare 'em and make them back off and let Elsa live her own life."

"Exactly!" Anna's voice suddenly rang out and we all turned in our seats to find she'd crept out of the safety of the bathroom at some point to stealthily eavesdrop from behind the couch. "That's what I was friggin' trying to explain before you so rudely- eep!" she yelped as I stood up from my chair. Then she all but blurred back into the restroom, banging the door closed behind her again.

Damn right, you better run, twerp.

But she couldn't escape my righteous fury for long. The little punk had to be brought to justice. To do that however, I'd need to lure her out of hiding first.

...and I knew just how to do it too.

A wicked smirk tugging at my lips now, I turned and stomped across the kitchen, calling out loudly, "I'm too angry to keep talking about this right now! I'm taking a walk to clear my head!"

Reaching the front door, I opened it before slamming it shut again with me still inside the apartment. I spun back around to face the others, holding an index finger up to my lips.

Be vewy, vewy quiet. I'm hunting Annas.

My eyes darted over to the bathroom door. It didn't budge. Clever girl, not being so quick to fall for the oldest trick in the book. After a few seconds of zero movement from the target, I then twirled my finger to the other three, gesturing for them to get conversation rolling again as I used my other hand to quietly slip my shoes off.

Taking the cue, Lea's gaze drifted from me over to Rayne, "So, uh… what are we thinking here? Just put on a lil show for Mom and Pop, one and done and we're out?"

"That might not be enough," she replied as I gave them all the thumbs up before swiftly sneaking past them back towards the living room, my bare feet silent against the floor. "Think about it. Sounds like Elsa's deranged grunkle hired someone to follow her for days. For all we know, her shadow might still be keeping tabs on her at the old coot's request. If you two don't look and act like a googly-eyed couple twenty-four seven, then the jig is up. He'll know Anna made up the whole thing. No, I think what we need here is a long con. To sell this, you two are gonna have to be all lovey-dovey out in public, around the mall, everywhere and at all times."

I'm sorry, we have to what now?!

I stumbled, but managed to steady myself and stay upright, thankfully all still without making a sound. I whipped around to glare at Rayne. She grinned and winked back, waggling her fingers at me in a sly little wave.

My murder list now officially had two names on it.

Rayne was just lucky Anna was more of a priority at the moment. I'd just have to deal with my evil roomie and the inane turn to this whole conversation later. Heaving a soft sigh through my nose, I turned my back on them once more and finished stealthing my way towards my bedroom. Once inside, I closed my door most of the way, leaving it open a sliver of a crack for me to peek out through.

And now the deadly hunter hides in wait for her prey to boldly but unwisely venture forth into the open once more.

"I dunno," Lea rubbed a knuckle to his chin, "would people buy that? I mean, we haven't exactly been acting all couply up until now. Wouldn't it be weird if we just started to randomly out of the blue? Especially considering the story's that she apparently ran out on the wedding to be with me."

She shrugged, "Easily explained. Clearly, Elsa was just worried about word of her torrid affair getting back to her ex. She didn't want him to feel like you two were just flaunting your love and rubbing his nose in it. She was trying to keep it on the DL for the sake of his feelings. But now that the cat's out of the bag, there's no reason to sneak around anymore. You two can now sing your love from the rooftops for all the world to see!"

My left eye ticked.

There would be so much killing before this day was done.

I'd paint the walls of this apartment red with the blood of my sister and my best friend.

I was pulled from my homicidal yet decorative thoughts as I heard a tiny, almost inaudible creak beyond my door from somewhere off to the right. I held my breath. Could it be? Had the mouse braved leaving her hidey-hole? Given my sight into the living room was very limited currently, I had no visual on her yet, so all I could do was wait and hope.

Riku chimed in now, "Honestly, I don't even think most people will be all that surprised. Sora and Kairi actually even had a bet going on between them. He thought it wouldn't be long before you two start dating."

"And Kairi didn't think so?"

"No, she thought you already were."

There! Anna slowly tiptoed into view as she made her way towards the kitchen, her back to me and head swishing to and fro with every careful step she took. Probably sensing a trap, but unable to spot me so deciding to risk it.

Little fool.

Silently pulling my own door open just enough for me to slip back out, I started creeping up behind her.

Lea snorted, "Alright, but some people know for a fact we were never dating. Take the kiddos for example. You think we're gonna be able to pull the wool over their eyes? Maybe they should be let in on the secret."

"Nope," Rayne leaned forward, folding her arms together on top of the table. "This shouldn't leave this room. If the wicked grunkle does still have a tail on Elsa, what if they start discreetly asking questions around the mall? Trust me, the less people know you two are only pretend dating, the better. Besides, you so sure that's what Xion and Rox think? Is it really so hard to believe you were keeping your blossoming romance a secret, even from them? I mean, come on, don't forget what happened on Elsa's first day of work now."

I froze mid-step a few scant inches behind Anna now, my eyes growing round.

Fudge.

Lea cleared his throat into his fist, eyes darting about. "I'm... not sure I entirely know what you're referring to."

I sure as heck did. And without a doubt, he did too. He was probably just trying to be a gentleman.

Rayne, on the other hand, had no such decorum.

"Oh really?" she smirked. Feeling the blood draining from my face, I started swiping my hand back and forth across my throat, rapidly shaking my head at her. Rayne either did not see or did not care. My guess? The latter. "Then allow me to refresh your memory." Now I started gesticulating wildly for her to cram it, my arms frantically but silently flailing about like a mime caught in a blender. Still Rayne pressed on, "You. Her. Lip-locked in the food court within ten seconds of first laying eyes on one another. Ring any-"

"They did what?!" Anna screeched out in glee.

Great. Now Anna knew about the Kissadent. Something I hadn't wanted her to find out about. Like, ever.

My fingers curled, strangling the air in Rayne's direction. Then with a muted growl, I stomped my foot against the carpet.

It wasn't loud.

But it was enough.

Anna spun on her heel with a gasp, blanching at the sight of me. Her eyes flicked towards the bathroom before trying to make a break for it, but I jumped in front of her, blocking her escape route. She then held up her hands and started backing away as I slowly stalked towards her. A nervous chuckle escaped her, "Now, now, Sis! J-just remember that-" the back of her leg bumped against the couch and she fell over backwards onto it. Recovering quickly, she scrambled up over its backrest, crash landing to the floor on the other side. Back on her feet in a flash, she continued in reverse towards the kitchen, "-that you love m-me!"

As I climbed over the sofa after her, she took the opportunity to drop down, scrabble under the dining table and pop up on the other side, putting it between me and her. I gave her a sickeningly sweet smile as I leaned forward, placing my hands on top of the table. "I also love piñatas. Love smashing them open and spilling their rainbow, candied guts across the ground."

Anna gulped. "But you… you couldn't really just, ya know… kill me… r-right?"

"Oh no, I couldn't just kill you… first I'd draw and quarter you, flay you alive, dip you in liquid nitrogen, snap every frozen limb off your body one by one, and then I'd kill you."

"Shit, El, remind me never to get on your bad side," Lea laughed.

Right? Who knew I could be so murdery? Crud, do I need to see a therapist?

Whatever, no time to think about my worryingly homicidal tendencies right now. I had a little sister to eradicate.

I charged around the table towards her. She shrieked, booking it and we circled the kitchen a few times. However, I was gaining fast. Soon, sweet sweet vengeance would be mine. Just another few seconds and-

"Alright, that's enough!" Rayne suddenly shouted, rocketing up out of her chair. Anna hid behind her and my feet skidded to a stop in front of my roommate. "Do I have to separate you two? Put you in opposite corners of the room to stare at the wall and think about what you've done?"

"She's the one who started it!" I snapped, glaring at Anna.

Her mature and oh so dignified response was to blow a raspberry at me over Rayne's shoulder.

My nostrils flared and I lunged at her. However, I was brought up short by an abrupt burst of pain in my upper ear. Took me a second to realize Rayne was pinching it with a scowl. And her other hand? Giving one of Anna's ears the same punishment. "Okay, seriously, you both need to stop. Now. Otherwise I'll… I'll send you to your rooms without dinner!"

Anna rolled her eyes, "Pfffft, you can't do that, it's not like you're my- ow, ow, ow!" I took it Rayne had squeezed her ear harder.

"Oooo, busted!" Lea snerked at us.

Rayne's death glare landed on him. "You want a piece of this, Red?!"

He paled, tossing his hands up in surrender.

Mama Bear Rayne had awoken. May whatever divine entity that watched over the universe from up on high have mercy on our poor, wretched souls.

With a huff, she forced us both to sit down, me back in my chair, Anna taking the one Rayne had just vacated. "You two are going to settle this, right here, right now." Anna pouted, crossing her arms and slouching down into her seat while I simply harrumphed and looked away. Rayne sighed, "...Anna, is there something you'd like to say to your sister?"

The silence stretched. Then finally, begrudgingly, "Sorry… for lying to Weaseltown about you and Lea or whatever."

Golly gee, so heartfelt.

Rayne cleared her throat and nudged my shoulder. "Elsa?"

My face scrunched up, but then I inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly, grumbling, "...sorry for trying to kill you or whatever."

"There! Perfect," Rayne happily chirped, bowing to wrap her arms around both our shoulders and hug us close to her. "One big happy family again! So glad that silliness is now all over and done with!"

Oh-ho, this was far from over.

Just you wait, Anna. I will be revenged.

Straightening back up with a single clap of her hands, Rayne went on, "Okay! Now that we've put that dumb lil spat behind us, we can get back to what's important!" She gestured between Lea and me, "You two going make-believe steady!"

Ugh. How quickly she flipped that switch from angry parent scolding children to utter loon spouting off crackpot ideas. I blamed the baby hormones.

"No!" I stated firmly. "Absolutely not! I am not going through with it! It's ridiculous, I refuse!"

"And give me one good reason why not," she said as she walked over to Riku who took her hand and gently pulled her down to sit in his lap, planting a soft kiss on her cheek.

"Because it's the stupidest plan ever!"

She scoffed, "I said a good reason. That's just an opinion, and a wrong one at that."

I frowned, gnawing on my lower lip. "Because… because…"

Because I potentially had the warm fuzzies for Lea and I might just completely short circuit if he and I had to act like boyfriend and girlfriend.

But I couldn't say that.

I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye and another thought struck me. I seized it like a drowning woman clings to a life preserver in a hurricane. "Ah! Because Lea hasn't agreed to any of this either!" I declared triumphantly to her before turning to him. "Listen, thank you, it's been sweet of you to humor the nutty pregnant lady this whole time, really, but you can stop now. You don't have to do this. It's okay, we all know you'd rather not."

He tipped his head to one side. "Whatever gave you that idea?"

My gaze averted and I gave a tiny shrug. "Well, you know… you're focusing on your schoolwork at the moment and have that whole… dating embargo thing going on, girls are a distraction and whatnot... I mean, I know it'd only be pretend, but still-"

"Wait, wait, hang on," he held up a hand, blinking a couple times at me. "How do you know I'm not dating at the moment?"

"What, like it's some big secret?" Rayne snerked. "Please, it's public knowledge."

His eyes darted back and forth between us, his brow furrowing. "You two were talking about it? How'd that even come up?"

Abort! Abort! He asks about that which he must never know!

Rayne brushed off, "Don't flatter yourself, Red, it was just girl talk. We also talked about what a cute butt Ventus has!"

I stiffened and scowled at her. "I most certainly did-" I hissed out in pain as she kicked me under the table.

"See?" Rayne grinned brightly.

Not. That was the word my sentence was supposed to end in. Not. I most certainly had not been talking about Ventus's posterior or anyone else's for that matter!

"You wanna run that by me again?" Riku drawled, eyelids drooping at her.

"Shush now, don't be jelly, you know I'll always think your tush is the cutest!" she cooed, pinching his cheek.

Bleh. TMI. Gross.

Lea seemed to be of the same mind as me, if the look on his face was any clue. Shaking his head and ruffling his fingers through his hair, he glanced back towards me, "Anyway… look, if this gets you out of a tough spot, I wouldn't mind. This… wouldn't be a distraction. This is just helping out a friend. I can always make time for that!"

Both eyebrows shot up my forehead. "...you'd really do that? Go along with this absolutely bonkers plan for who knows how long... all just for my sake?"

"Well yeah," he flashed those heart-stopping dimples of his, "I'd do anything for you, El!"

Good bye, oxygen. My lungs didn't need to do a silly little thing like breathing anyway.

"Cuz you're a friend!" he blurted out quickly, scratching the back of his head as his eyes shifted. "And there isn't anything I wouldn't do for… for my friends! Heh!"

Oh. Right. Of course that's what he'd meant.

At ease, lungs. Feel free to return to your regularly scheduled respiring now.

But see? This is what I was talking about. We weren't even fake dating yet and I was already having total core meltdowns at the littlest things he did or said. How could I possibly even hope to function if we actually went through with this whole screwball plan?

"There ya go!" Rayne beamed at me. "Any other objections, sweetie?"

"I, uh…" I wanted to argue. I really did. But I had nothing. Nothing I could say aloud in Lea's presence anyway. And as totally cuckoo as this whole idea was, I had to reluctantly admit that Rayne had made some halfway decent points. Now that I could no longer delay the inevitable and had to talk to my parents, this... would actually make standing up to them a little easier. And as much as it pained me to say it, I wouldn't put it past the Duke to still have someone keeping an eye on me and reporting back to him. So if I didn't want my parents to find out it was all a sham to get them to back off, pretending to be boyfriend and girlfriend actually kind of, sort of, in a totally absurd way… made sense? Somehow?

Still, I hesitated. Worrying my bottom lip between my teeth, I glanced around the table. Rayne watched me expectantly while Riku reached past her for some more popcorn. Lea just gave me a comforting smile. As for Anna, she was texting on her phone. Tch, typical.

Taking a deep breath, I massaged one temple with a grimace and a sigh. "...okay. I guess… we're doing this."

"Yay!" Rayne cheered, throwing her hands up into the air.

Dear lord, had I really just agreed to this madness? Really just hopped on board the crazy train with Rayne and Anna? What even was my life anymore?

"Perfect timing!" Anna looked up from her phone with a toothy grin.

I frowned suspiciously back. "What do you mean?"

She flipped the mobile around to show me her screen. "Daddy Dearest just can't wait to see you and meet your new boytoy tomorrow!"

"What?!" I grabbed it out of her hands, quickly scanning her text exchange with our father.

"Yup!" Still looking pleased as punch, she planted her elbows on the table and propped her chin up in both hands. "Don't worry, I've arranged everything! Told him you wanted to stop by your old condo after work and pick up a few things, ya know, your phone, some clothes, stuff like that! Dad'll be there to unlock the door for you since you don't have your key. And Lea, being an absolute sweetheart that knows how to treat his bae right, will of course be giving you a ride. What'd I tell ya? Perfect! What better way for you two lovebirds to make your royal debut?"

Oh god. This was it. It was really happening. There was no turning back now.

What on earth had I just gotten myself into?

Author's Note: Yup, it's the ol' "hey look, circumstances have forced us to fake date" situation we all know and love! It took some doing, a lil bending over backwards and acrobatics, but finally our ice queen has been convinced to get on board with the plan as well, albeit reluctantly xD Dunno what she's so worried about, this plan is BRILLIANT and FOOLPROOF, I tell ya! I mean, it's gotta be… just look at the conniving masterminds who cooked it up xD

Next chapter, how will this lil visit with Daddy Dearest go? Will our leading lady and man make a convincing, lovey-dovey couple? Or could the plan possibly start to unravel before it's barely even begun? Just how long WOULD someone survive on a healthy, balanced diet of floss, shampoo, and toilet paper anyway? Stay tuned!

Thanks for reading, I super duper appreciate it! And an extra BIG thank you to those of you who’ve liked, reblogged, and followed so far, seeing those lil notifications always brings the biggest, goofiest smile to my face!

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idkthisisjustforfanfic · 5 years

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Seed + Spark - Chapter 23

There was a knock on my door at half past 9 on Saturday morning. When I opened it to find Quinn standing there in a hoodie and joggers, I pulled it open wider to let her in.

“Sorry I was such a mess last night,” she said. She stepped into my bedroom and then shut the door behind herself.

“S’fine,” I told her, opening my arms to let her come in for a hug. She did--fitting nicely into me as I got a whiff of her shampoo. “How are you feeling now, lovie?”

She shrugged. “Fine enough. Throwing up at two in the morning definitely helped.”

I made a sympathetic noise, but the next words slipped out of my mouth. “Did you wake Harper up?”

She pulled away from me at this, her eyes somewhat suspicious. “She heard me, if that’s what you mean. Came in and offered a hair tie. But you two are getting along much better,” she laughed a little, watching as I walked to sit on my bed.

“No we’re not. She’s annoying.”

She rolled her eyes at that, coming to sit beside me. “No--you’re just easily annoyed.”

“By her,” I tried to sell it. I mean, I wasn’t lying. Harper was annoying and I was easily annoyed by her. Quinn didn’t seem to care.

“What do you think you’ll do today?” She asked, changing the subject.

She hadn’t even called or texted to say she was coming over, so I had no clue why she was here--other than the fact that I was her boyfriend and it was Saturday.

Liam and I had plans for the day--meeting up with an old friend of his downtown and going to a new pub for lunch that had some type of all you can eat burger special. “Hanging out with Liam. Might see my sister tonight. Don’t really know yet.”

Her face fell at this--apparently the fact that my plans didn’t involve her struck a nerve. “Okay--well, keep me updated I guess. I’m around tonight.”

“Alright, yeah, will do.”

She was quiet for a minute, looking around my room like she’d never been inside before. Maybe she was feeling the distance between us, too. Maybe she knew it was growing.

“Liam and I are headed out soon,” I told her. I wasn’t trying to kick her out, but something felt different. Maybe I was overthinking it.

“Okay, yeah. Call me later?”

“Mhm,” I nodded, standing up beside her. She reached up and kissed me on the mouth, which felt somewhat awkward, but then she headed for the door. “Love you,” I said, the automatic instinct taking over my tongue before I could really contemplate the words.

Instead of responding, she offered a small smile over her shoulder as she ducked out the door, leaving me in silence to think about the way I was feeling and the lack of words to describe it.

I’d gone into my relationship with Quinn without much hesitation. If anything, I was curious and intrigued by the girl who was living with Harper. She was fit and funny and clearly, bothering Harper was a great addition.

But now--8 months in and 8 months later, Quinn didn’t feel as exciting as she once had. Which now felt like it was more a reflection of me than it was her.

So when I walked into The Counter with Liam on our way off of campus, the feeling in my gut when I saw Harper felt eerily similar to the one I used to get around Quinn. Liam had been talking and talking on the way over about how one of the lads on his team was being a bit more bossy on the field that he previously had been--but my head wasn’t really in it.

I was more focused on the fact that Harper was the one to deal with Quinn last night--long after I went to bed. Liam stopped to talk with a classmate as I walked up to the till--catching Millie in the middle of a sentence as she laughed.

“Nothing could be as bad as Harper’s first day. She literally spilled coffee on someone and then nearly threw up in the back when she realized how much of a trainwreck she was.”

“Harper being a trainwreck?” I interrupted, prompting them to turn around. “Sounds uncomfortably familiar.”

“Very funny,” Harper offered a fake smile and walked over to serve me. She let out a sigh, as if she was less than pleased to see me. “What can I get for you?”

“Nothing, actually,” I shrugged, looking over her shoulder to see Louis, their co-worker, and Millie watching our conversation closely. They both scurried back to work and pretended to be busy when they were caught. “I was just going to thank you for helping with Quinn last night. She said you took good care of her when she woke up at two in the morning to vomit.”

Harper opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out at first. Then she nodded. “The girl can puke, that’s for sure. But no problem, I didn’t want her to get it on our carpet.”

“Harper Coleman, so selfless,” I laughed. An awkward beat passed between us. This was usually when one of us would hurl an insult or tell the other that they were an idiot.

Instead, though, she smiled at me. She looked over her shoulder again to make some sort of face at Millie--who was definitely still listening to our conversation.

Harper seemed to clear her throat in an attempt to get Millie to sod off--and she again turned to get back to work, rolling her eyes before taking out the trash.

“Well, I was just headed out with Liam,” I motioned my shoulder to show her that I wasn’t alone. “See you…later.”

She offered me her trademark salute before I turned to walk out the door.

After a day with Liam and some friends, nothing sounded better than a quiet evening. I hadn’t seen my sister since Harper and I met Gemma and Tierney for brunch, so when I found myself only two stops on the tube from their apartment, I figured I would head over to say hello. The likelihood of them doing anything wild on a Saturday night was slim to none, so I didn’t feel the need to call or text with a fair warning that I was on my way.

I caught the closing front door after someone slipped into the night air--unzippering my jacket slightly now that I was shielded from the bitterness of a London fall. The warm heat from my sister’s apartment building wrapped around me as I rode the lift up to her floor.

Dark blue carpeting lined the hall that my feet had met many times. I let my knuckles hit the door rhythmically as I heard a familiar laugh.

Harper.

A few weeks ago and I likely would have turned around--feeling defeated that she’d gotten to them first. She always seemed to entertain them more--especially when we were younger. She would go along with their games and wanted to talk about boys and make up and as the years went on, I seemed to be less fun for them to hang out with.

So sure, Harry two weeks ago might have turned around and given up. But present-day Harry decided to enter with caution. “Hello?” I called into the flat once I found that the door was unlocked. My voice echoed off the beige walls--the TV muted before Gemma’s cat, Penny, greeted me at my feet.

I scooped up the cat and rounded the corner--pretending to be surprised when I saw that they weren’t alone. Harper was sat on the floor, a pillow in her lap as she turned to see who had entered. “Oh, hi. I didn’t know I was interrupting something.” I let Penny back down to the floor and she scampered towards Gemma as she appeared from the kitchen.

“You’re not,” Gemma smiled, handing Harper a cup of tea as she re-entered the living room lounge spot. Tierney appeared from the loo and offered me a smile. “We were just about to start a movie.”

I walked over and shrugged my jacket off of my shoulders, letting it rest on the back of the sofa as they all seemed to rearrange.

Harper stood and grabbed a spot on the couch--the only seat left was beside her. I sunk into it as Gemma reached for the remote. “Shall we have a redo of The Ring?”

“Fuck off,” I laughed, rubbing at my eyes. “You would have been terrified if you weren’t snoring away.”

“We’re watching some other terrible horror movie,” Harper informed. “We already chose before you came. So you have to either shut up and watch the movie--” Tierney cut her off.

“Or leave now and keep your dignity--and your dry pants.”

They all let out a laugh in unison when I rolled my eyes. “I’ll stay, relax. Just play it.”

The thing about the four of us is that we were awful movie watchers. Harper normally asked a question every five seconds--which drove me mad--and it was anyone’s guess as to if Gemma or Tierney would fall asleep first.

And tonight was no different. Gemma and Tierney both nodded off rather quickly and soon Harper was asking questions to the void. My silence must have been what tipped her off that the other two were asleep. She peered over at them and then at me, before quickly bringing her eyes back to the telly.

“Are you even paying attention?” I asked her, my voice quiet enough to not wake the two sleeping beauties.

“Yeah, of course I am,” she laughed nonchalantly, running a hand over the braid in her hair. Gemma had long been doing Harper’s hair that way--they claimed it made her blonde curls somewhat tame.

I stared at her for a second but then rolled my eyes--she wasn’t. “Well, we might as well shut it off. I don’t like it and they’re knackered, clearly.”

I shoved my sister’s foot off of me and stood to grab the remote from the coffee table.

“Got any plans for the night?” Harper asked as I pulled out my phone. A text from Quinn asked if she could sleep at mine tonight, I quickly returned it to my pocket.

She looked around awkwardly--almost as if she’d give anything to avoid my gaze.

“Nope,” I popped the ‘p’ and then turned to look at our sisters. “Do you want to--I don’t know--have a drink?”

“Me?” She pointed at her own chest, not bothering to hide the look of shock on her face.

I couldn’t help but laugh. Had I really sold it that well that I hated her? “Yes, Harper. You.”

She looked around the room as if I was asking her to go out somewhere. “Where?”

I pointed behind her--a bottle of cheap vodka sat on Gemma’s kitchen counter that I’d failed to recognize earlier. “Leave it to my sister to get the good stuff,” I joked as I walked over to inspect it. “And to leave it readily available for her kid brother and friend.”

She watched as I walked over and picked it up. I unscrewed the cap, took a whiff, and held it towards her. She stood from the couch and laughed, joining me at the counter. I held it up still, raising my eyebrows at her to see if she’d actually drink it.

When she nodded, I placed it back down, fetched some cups from the cabinet, and found some type of juice in their fridge.

When were fifteen, Gemma and Tierney got Harper a bottle of peach schnapps for her birthday that she’d kept hidden beneath sweaters in her closet. I told my friend Owen when he was over one night and we convinced her to let us have some. We passed the bottle around in my bedroom and took swigs--it wasn’t my first time drinking, but it was my first time dealing with idiot friends. Owen ruined the fun when he started throwing up on the carpet, and Harper was livid that we’d wasted half of her bottle.

She begged us all to not tell anyone that she supplied the alcohol (even though technically it was our sisters who’d supplied it) because she thought she was going to jail.

I mixed her a drink and slid it towards her on the counter.

“Is it poisoned?” she asked seriously as she brought the glass to her nose to sniff.

I rolled my eyes as I tasted the liquid. “Alcohol technically is poison, so yes.”

She laughed slightly but took a sip. I saw the look wash over her face when she realized that it was good. I smirked when she took another.

“Well, if this whole accounting thing doesn’t work you could always be a bartender.”

I topped both our drinks off now that we had agreed the mixture was drinkable. “Yeah,” I laughed, “Quinn would love that.”

“Quinn would love you no matter what,” her voice was calm as she picked at the chipped nail polish on her thumb. I didn’t know what she meant by that. She clearly didn’t know how I was feeling lately if that was her read of the situation.

The clock on the wall ticked as I walked over to the empty stool next to her and sat, keeping my eyes on his drink. “What makes you say that?”

“I’ve seen the way she looks at you.”

I reached a hand up to tug at my lower lip--deep in thought. “Kind of the way Niall looks at you.”

She sighed and I took another sip, slightly embarrassed that she now knew I was even paying attention to her love life. But if I thought that saying that would get me some more information about whatever was going on between them, I was wrong. So I asked about auditions and her classes and we talked as if we weren’t neighbors or enemies or classmates.

We talked as if we were just two people. And maybe, the topic of her and Niall would make it’s way back into the line-up.

Eventually Gemma made her way into her bedroom--too asleep to even notice that we’d been drinking her liquor, but awake enough to tell us to be quiet. Harry stifled a laugh when he noticed the drool stain his sister had left on Tierney’s shirt.

“She’s disgusting,” I laughed, shaking my head at my older sister.

Harper finished off her third drink and set the cup down on the counter. “Runs in the family.”

“You sure handle your liquor quite well,” I said with raised brows.

She made a face at me and laughed. “I’m not Owen Greenbough.”

“No,” I agreed with her. “You’re Harper Coleman.”

She didn’t catch the way I shook my head at that. She’d always been unapologetically Harper--and that seemed to be the problem. Did I love that about her or hate that? With three drinks in me and only a few inches between us, I couldn’t quite decide.

“Always have been, always will be.”

I laughed again, but this time it was short. The words spilled out of me like lava. “That’s the problem.”

“The problem?” She stared at me with wide eyes, almost offended by my words.

“You’re the center of the universe, Harper.”

You’d think--after fourteen years of spending so much damn time with her--she’d know that she had some sort of power over me. Try as I might, I wasn’t able to resist the charm of my big-mouthed, loud-laughing childhood mate.

“What are you talking about?” Her eyebrows furrowed together now, her gaze on me.

But I couldn’t tell her. I couldn’t tell her what I meant or how I felt because the only way I’d really be able to do that would be to tell her I loved her.

So instead of doing that, I stood from the stool and walked over to the bin, throwing out my cup. I grabbed my jacket from the back of the couch as she followed me into the living room.

When I turned to take one last look at her, she crossed her arms over her chest. “You always do this. Things are fine and we get along and then you go and--you go and ruin it.”

I scoffed at this, shaking my head as I neared the door. She followed behind me, angry about the fact that for once, I wasn’t going to let her be the center of the universe.

She didn’t get it. I didn’t ruin everything. I was realistic. I kept my space. I learned my lesson when we were in secondary school and what she didn’t realize is that I was not the problem. She was.

She was the one who marched into my life at six years old and turned everything upside down. And since that muggy day in June when the Coleman family moved in down the street, she had ruined everything.

I was used to Harper avoiding me like the plague. It wasn’t really new.

Every once in a while I’d say something to piss her off enough that she’d avoid eye contact, get up and leave the table when I sat down. And while I might have been fine with it, Quinn wasn’t.

“Just be nice to her, Harry--why is that so hard for you?”

She rolled over on my bed as I typed at my computer. I had a paper to finish and her nagging wasn’t helping. When she texted to say she was on her way over, I talked to myself in the mirror long enough to believe that I actually had the guts to break up with her.

But now I swiveled around in my chair and let out a sigh. “S’not that simple, Quinn.”

“Yes it is, Harry.” She sat up now and ran a hand through her dark hair, looking at me as if I was crazy. “You just need to play nice. I’ve said the same thing to her.”

I let out a snort of a laugh at that--Quinn lecturing Harper about our relationship? I’d kill to see that.

“S’not funny,” she whined. “All I want is for my boyfriend and my roommate to get along, yeah? Think of it as a birthday gift.” She went back to the textbook in front of her.

Fuck. Her birthday. It wasn’t that I’d forgotten, per se. It was just that a few weeks ago when I remembered it, I told myself we’d be broken up by then. Then I forgot to remember it.

“Speaking of,” I said slowly. “What do you want to do for it?”

She shut the book and smiled up at me. “Let’s just go to dinner!”

“Where?” I asked, knowing her answer. She smiled sheepishly and came to the edge of the bed.

“I’ll make you a deal,” she smiled. “If we go to Haviland’s for my birthday--I’ll let you pick out the dress I wear.”

“What?” I tilted my head to the side. “Pick it out?”

I didn’t really care what she wore, in all honesty. But what was I supposed to do? Refuse to take her out for her birthday and break up with her? I figured if I sucked it up and took her out, breaking up a week or so after wouldn’t be as bad, right? Then she at least wouldn't have another thing to be mad about.

She nodded--overly excited in a trademark Quinn Markos way.

“Okay,” I said. “Yeah.”

Four whole days of Harper ignoring me when we crossed paths was my limit. I knew that because that’s when I found myself spying on the three of them in the library. Quinn had told me that’s where they were headed after dinner.

So maybe I’d also taken those four days to concoct a plan. Which is why, as Harper reached for a book on the shelf in front of her, I walked directly into her--on purpose.

“Sorry,” she muttered, pulling back before she could even recognize who I was. “Oh, hi.”

I waited for a second--blinking twice when she didn’t tell me to fuck off or leave her alone (which was partially what I expected). When I didn’t say anything, though, she side-stepped me and gave me a look like she wondered what had hit me on the head.

“Wait,” I said, my voice desperate as I reached and grabbed onto her arm. She immediately tried to wiggle out of my grip. “I have a question.”

When she broke loose, she rubbed at the spot where we’d made contact, offended by the lack of distance between us. “Yes?”

“I need your help. Quinn’s birthday is next week and I told her I’d take her to Havland’s--because we didn’t go for our anniversary.”

She let out a sigh and seemed to open her eyes wider, a silent cue to continue.

“Could you help me pick out a dress for her? I told her I would, but I’ve got no clue what the fuck she’d like.”

She rolled her eyes at my words now, looking down to her book quickly to verify that she’d selected the proper one. “Just go to Phase Eight or something.”

“No--” I shook my head, annoyed that she didn’t understand my request. “I mean--will you come with me?”

She stared at me for a second, almost as if she was waiting for me to take it back or let out a sarcastic laugh. When I didn’t, she parted her lips and stammered out a reply. “Oh--you’re--you really want me to?”

I nodded with hopeful eyes, watching as she peered over her shoulder to see Quinn and Millie still eyeballs deep in their course work. “I guess so.”

I met Harper at The Counter on Thursday when she got off of work. She was pleasant--albeit awkward--as we made the trek to the Holloway Road station to head into town, only muttering a quiet “thanks” when I tapped my Oyster card for her to enter the station. She asked about my classes and I told her about my incredible victory over Liam in FIFA the night before--and for a minute, she seemed normal. It almost felt like we were just two friends hanging out.

When we got to the store and walked inside, I turned to face her. “So?”

Her eyes scanned the room but then fell back on me. “Well, do you know what type of colors or patterns she likes?”

I turned the question around quickly to divert from the fact that--in all honesty--I hadn’t paid much attention to her wardrobe. “Do you?”

She let out an obnoxious sigh and walked away from me, heading towards a mannequin that stood atop a black cube. “What about this?” she asked, her fingers tugging at the fabric.

The dress was a light purple--something I could picture Quinn in.

“Too modest,” I narrowed his eyes as he looked at the mannequin. If I was about to have a say in something Quinn wore--which had never happened before and likely would never happen again--I was surely going to pick something that I found unbelievably sexy. “Here,” I stepped past her, walking to a black dress on a hanger.

“The only time I’ve seen Quinn wear black was when her gran died,” Harper bit out a laugh, a challenging smirk on her mouth as she crossed her arms.

I let out a groan, questioning if we should just call it quits and instead, maybe I’d just buy Quinn a gift card. Harper seemed to have other plans as she headed deeper into the store, checking over her shoulder to make sure I was following suit.

Harper probably wasn’t my best bet in terms of picking out a dress for Quinn. She might have a better idea than I would about what she’d like, but their style couldn’t have been more different. Quinn looked like she was always ready for a polo match or a nice day or horseback riding. Harper looked more like she was about to catch a flight for Guadalajara and wanted to embrace a thousand different cultures at once.

We spent a few minutes perusing the store, Harper grabbed a few things that she liked for Quinn and presumably a few she wanted to try on for herself. She might not have been a style icon, but I knew her well enough to know that she couldn’t resist a few floral print blouses. She walked back towards me after a few minutes, her arms full of different options.

“What do you think of this?” I turned to her, peeling my eyes away from the blue and black dress that had caught my eye. It was flashy, that was for sure. It reminded me of the dress that Harper had gotten our first year on campus--the one she and Millie wore to match, the one in the photo framed on her desk.

She reached out to touch the fabric. “I mean, I like it, but I don’t think Quinn would.”

“I meant for you--Quinn would hate the neckline,” I pointed at the collar, which rose to just about the collar bone area.

She seemed to let go of the dress quickly, shrugging her shoulders.. “It’s nice.”

I picked it off the rack nearby and pushed it towards her. “Try it.”

“No,” She pushed it back in my direction. She liked it--I could tell that she did. This was more of a power struggle with the fact that I found a dress that she liked and it made her uncomfortable that I knew her so well.

“You just said you like it!” I laughed a little, holding it in the air between us.

“I do,” she shrugged. “We’re not here for me, we’re here for Quinn.”

“And Quinn was going to like this?” I tugged at a black and white striped sweater that she held in her hands, giving her a smirk as I nudged the dress towards her again.

She let out a huff and ripped the dress from my hands, disappearing into a fitting room before I could say any more.

I’d long thought that blue was a flattering color on her--she’d probably hit me across the chest if she heard me say that, but something about it seemed to bring out her eyes and settle nicely against her blonde hair. I leaned against a wall nearby, hoping it hadn’t been too obvious.

I could hear her thrash around in the fitting room. The sound of hangers against the hooks let me know she was actually doing what I’d suggested (there’s a first for everything), and eventually, I decided to check on her.

If she thought I’d forget what she was doing in there, she had another thing coming.

“You alive in there?” I called over the curtain, my voice amused as I waited for a reply.

She pulled it open a bit--only allowing her face to be exposed--and forced a grin.

“Just peachy.”

“What did you think?”

She let out another dramatic sigh and opened the curtain the rest of the way. She tore her eyes from mine as I took in the sight of her. The dress hugged her in all the right places. “Not bad.”

I could have said something different. I could have told her she looked beautiful or sexy or down right amazing--but it would have been weird and she would have thought I was being a knob.

She narrowed her eyes at me. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?” I let out a laugh, my face contorting into amused confusion.

“I don’t know, however you just looked at me. It was weird.” She shut the curtain quickly and once again left me to stare at the patterned fabric between us.

Leave it to Harper to get flustered by a compliment and keep us from ever interacting like two normal humans.

I crossed my arms over my chest--hoping she’d come back out soon enough so we could get dinner. When I looked back up, though, she was peering at me through the curtain. “Can I help you?”

She nudged the curtain open a little more, a look of defeat on her face. “Can you unzip me?”

She stepped out and turned her back to me, lifting her hair to reveal more skin. I let my fingers reach up and tug at the cool metal of the zipper, placing a hand on her ribs to hold her in place.

It wasn’t the first time this scene had played out--the only difference was that most of them had been in my head with my hand in my pants.

What really did it for me this time, though, was the black ink that seemed etched across her skin right where the zipper seemed to meet the end of it’s track. I let my finger trace it quickly. “I didn’t know you have a tattoo. What does it say?”

“Joie de vivre,” she said quietly, turning to face me. “It’s French.”

“I gathered that,” I rolled my eyes, somewhat alarmed by the way I’d touched her and the way she didn’t pull back. “What’s it mean?”

“The literal translation is ‘joy of living,’ but the phrase in French captures more of a sentiment of the joy in living despite the fact that life can kind of suck sometimes.”

I stared at her for a second, once again intrigued by the look on her face. She didn’t seem angry, she didn’t seem annoyed. She just watched me and stared back at me and didn’t fire off an insult.

“I’m gonna change,” she said quickly, darting back into the fitting room behind the comfort of the curtain.

I felt a wave of heat pass over my chest once I was alone, suddenly uncomfortable with the way she made me forget about my girlfriend and the way she seemed to outshine anyone in the room. “This is supposed to be about Quinn--you’re always making everything about yourself.”

She stuck her head out of the curtain once more. I could tell that she wasn’t wearing the dress now--instead just clad in her bra and panties. “I’ll be sure to let Quinn know how thoughtfully you picked out a dress for her, she’ll definitely drop her panties when she hears how charming you were all day.”

I whistled to myself as I padded down the hall to Quinn’s dorm. This is what my mum had always meant when she told me to make the best of it.

Sure, the expiration date on my relationship with Quinn was slowly approaching, but she didn’t see it that way. I wasn’t about to break up with her on her birthday, so I figured that I might as well suck it up, enjoy the night with her, and wait for the appropriate time to pull the plug.

Tonight just wasn’t that night. So when I knocked on the door and pushed it open to find Quinn dancing in the center of the room as Harper laughed with her phone in her hand, my brows furrowed together.

“Harper got the part she wanted!” Quinn smiled at me--clearly referring to the production of Pride and Prejudice that was being advertised all around campus. I walked over and pressed a kiss to Quinn’s forehead, aiming to act as if Harper’s happiness meant nothing to me.

I worried, really, the day of our trip downtown to buy a dress for Quinn, if Harper was on to me. She seemed to hate me less--or at least tolerate me more lately, and I wondered if she was picking up the same energy from me. Either she was and wasn’t about to address it, or she was daft and aloof--which also wouldn’t be a shock.

“Of course she did,” I rolled my eyes, shooting her a less than impressed look before removing my jacket. I placed it on the chair at Quinn’s desk and leaned against her bed. “What’s the play again?”

“Pride and Prejudice,” She answered, closing her laptop on her desk and setting her mouth in a straight line.

I turned my attention to Quinn, who smiled eagerly at me when we made eye contact. “How’s my birthday girl?”

Before she could respond, I remembered my plan for the big reveal. I’d asked Harper to hide the dress in her closet--somewhere Quinn would surely never go (she had better taste than that). “Oh,” I said, reaching for my jacket. I pulled out the birthday card I’d grabbed at Sainsbury’s and thrust in her direction. “Here.”

She tore it open as I turned to head for Harper’s closet. I pushed a bunch of her sweaters and blouses aside to find the pink fit and flare with a yellow trim at the bottom.

When I turned around and held it between us, she smiled. “Is that for me?”

“It’s for dinner,” I motioned towards the card that now sat on her desk.

Harper--who’d been silently watching this play out between us--seemed to suddenly be bored. She shifted on her bed and hopped down just as Quinn pressed a kiss to my lips in thanks.

I pulled away quickly--feeling awkward and uncomfortable kissing Quinn in front of Harper--especially knowing that it wouldn’t be continuing for long.

She cut in between us but spoke over her shoulder as she slipped out the door. “Millie and I will be at 819 tonight.”

With that, the door shut behind her, leaving Quinn and I alone.

Sitting across from Quinn at Haviland’s was something that felt entirely out of the ordinary. It was a stuffy restaurant with decent food but a cold and disconnected wait staff. Our waters were never empty but the conversation but dry and dull.

She told me about her classes and the funny thing that Millie did the other day. We talked about her family and the footy team and she let me know that her mother had invited me for Christmas this year.

I cleared my throat and licked my lips. “Oh, I don’t know--I think my mum is already planning on me being home.”

“We’ll have been together for a year by that point almost, Harry.” She frowned, reaching to stir her drink with her straw.

“I know,” I shrugged, letting my arm rest on the table (was that allowed?) as she took another sip. “S’just that--I dunno--we have a tradition with Harper’s family. Her parents and Tierney come and we all hang out and--”

She cut me off, more annoyed now. “S’fine if you don’t want to come. I just thought maybe you’d want to. But I understand. Your relationship with Harper is important.”

I pulled my head back in confusion. “That’s not what I said.”

She set her glass back on the table and shrugged her shoulders again, her silence conveying that she wasn’t about to fight with me.

“I just don’t want to miss the tradition my family has. I’ll see my grandparents and cousins, too.”

“It’s fine, Harry. Forget I asked.”

By the end of dinner, Quinn let me know that she planned on meeting up with some of her girlfriends from her program. Without explicitly saying so, it was clear that I wasn’t invited, and it was clear that this was likely due to our conversation regarding the holidays. So when we parted ways outside the restaurant, I told her I was headed home.

Which I was, until I decided I wasn’t.

I didn’t know what was happening in 819 given that Liam wasn’t there. But when I texted James and Preston and they let me know I could stop by, I figured there was enough going on that Quinn couldn’t blame me for choosing that over a night alone in my flat.

Maybe I was curious about what Harper was up to, maybe I even wanted to know if Niall was there with her--but I certainly knew I wanted a beer or two and to have some time without Quinn over my shoulder.

“Fancy seeing you here,” Harper smirked up at me as she topped her cup off with vodka.

She’d wandered in as I leaned against the counter, talking with James about Man U’s recent win. I knew what she was implying. Fancy seeing me here without Quinn.

You see, I was friends with James and Hollie and Preston and Katie. I knew them arguably as well as Harper did. But tonight probably marked the first night since I started dating Quinn that I wound up in 819 without her glued to my hip.

At first that was fun. Quinn was outgoing and lively but still somewhat quiet. She wasn’t as brash as Harper and she certainly wasn’t as crude.

I didn’t respond to her immediately. I waited until James was whisked away to the living room to troubleshoot the plastic disco ball that illuminated many of our drunken nights. She eyed me more closely once he walked away--after she put the vodka back into the freezer.

“These are my friends, too, y’know.”

“I’m aware,” she shrugged. “Just didn’t know you ventured out without Quinn.”

I rolled my eyes, watching as she opened a drawer to locate a spoon. She stuck it into her cup, mixed the liquid, and took a sip.

“You’re the one who’s here in a crop top,” I looked down at her stomach, which was peeking out between the denim shirt and waist of her pants.

She pulled her head back in confusion at my insult and set her cup firmly on the counter. “Your point?”

“A little much for a living room party,” I shrugged, keeping my eyes on hers.

“Where’s Quinn?” She challenged again, her eyes narrowed.

“With friends.”

“She’s not coming?”

“Nope.”

“She trusts you here by yourself?”

“Harper,” I said her name in an attempt to set a boundary. “You’re already a little drunk.”

“Am not,” She rolled her eyes. The tinge of pink on her cheeks--the one that always showed up when she’d had some alcohol--begged to differ.

Harper was always like this. Provocative and challenging. Difficult just for the sake of being difficult. Maybe she was drunk, maybe I was feeling more attracted to her than before.

“No?” I took a step closer to her, the heat from her body made my heartbeat quicken.

She looked me up and down, taking in the sight of my outfit, before her eyes landed on my hair.

“What type of product do you use?” Her fingers reached up and landed on top of my head, I did my best to stifle a laugh.

Sure, she wasn’t drunk.

I stepped back and pulled my head out of reach. “I don’t know,” I laughed. “Something from Superdrug.”

I stared down at her for a second, completely enchanted by the way--after fourteen years--she remained a mystery to me. She might have been the girl who wanted to paint my nails in year 5 or even the one who made me play house with her in primary school, but there wasn’t something so new about her that I couldn’t place.

“Hi,” Niall’s voice sounded as he snaked an arm around her waist. I pulled my eyes up from their point of contact and settled them back on Harper’s face.

Had Niall been watching our interaction? Was this his way of staking his claim on my friend?

“Harper here has had a bit already,” I smirked at Niall. “I’d keep an eye on her, mate.”

I clapped a hand on Niall’s back, a subtle reminder that at the end of the day, I knew Harper better than he ever would.

After a few shots and a few drinks, I was more comfortable than ever bugging the shit out of Harper. Quinn’s absence allowed me to hover close by, interrupting her conversations with Niall just to make a snide remark about her liquor tolerance. She’d spent enough time situated on his lap--I figured it was my god-given right to let her know how I felt about it.

Here’s the thing: Harper and Niall weren’t a good fit. And the more alcohol I had, the more clear that became.

So, when I watched Harper excuse herself to the bathroom near Niall’s bedroom, I figured it was my perfect chance to strike. I waited outside and when she opened the door, she was intrigued and annoyed by my presence.

“Can I help you?” She asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

“I think the real question is why are you sitting on Niall’s lap?”

My bluntness seemed to catch her off guard. “Because I like him?”

“Do you?”

She seemed to lose a bit of her edge, confused by my words. She nodded.

“It seems as if you’re really just into him because he gives you attention.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

I placed his arm on the door frame, supporting my weight. “It means that I see right through you--you don’t seem into it. You just like the attention he gives you.”

She rolled her eyes, unimpressed with my opinion and insight. She made a face that told me she wasn’t about to let me off the hook easily.

“I don’t know why you care who I date or what I do with my life,” she said matter-of-factly. “You’re the one who never wants anything to do with me and can barely stand to be around me.”

I watched her for a second and then took a step forward. Was it worth just saying to her that I didn’t want to see her with Niall because I wanted to see her with me? Was I supposed to be that honest about something so strange? She took a step back.

I took a step closer and shut the door behind us. I wasn’t about to drunkenly proclaim my feelings in front of everyone. Even drunk Harry knew better than that.

“What are you doing?” She asked, more annoyed now by my lack of explanation.

“I can’t stand to be around you and I don’t want you to date Niall.”

She rolled her eyes. “I’m aware.”

I looked at her lips and then back at her eyes. “You’re extremely annoying, y’know.”

She let out an unimpressed groan. “Also aware.”

It struck me, really, that I didn’t know how to say much of anything to her other than an insult. We’d settled so naturally into the role of frenemies--which seemed like a stupid but fitting label--that the feelings in my veins only seemed to leave me tongue-tied and flushed.

So I didn’t use words. I let a hand find her waist, pulling the front of her body directly into mine. She stumbled at first, caught off guard by the sudden movement, but when my lips met hers, something clicked.

She pulled me in closer and soon we were against the wall--my hand on her ass and her fingers in my hair.

Harper Coleman was a bit of an enigma. I mean, you’d think after 14 years of knowing her, I’d come to understand her a little better than still being confused by the way she laughed or joked or seemed to be one of my sister’s favorite people. You’d think that she’d have something to say after I kissed her in the bathroom of our friend’s flat, instead of letting me walk away like nothing happened.

But, in true Harper Coleman fashion, that’s exactly what she did.

AN: AHHHH. Sorry it’s taken so long to get this up, I SO appreciate your patience. I’m probably going to be saying that a lot as the semester is underway and I’m a busy bee. Let me know what you think about our wild and obnoxious Harper and Harry!!!

#seed and spark #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles story #harry styles fiction #harry styles fan fiction #harry styles writing #harry styles imagine #harry styles blurb #harry styles blurbs #harry styles uni au #harry styles college

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miasswier · 4 years

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miasswier’s ultimate glee ranking: no 13

13: Transitioning

Written by: Matthew Hodgson Directed by: Dante Di Loreto

Overall Thoughts: This is obviously one of my all time favourite episodes of Glee. I’m going to admit that one of the main reasons is the Klaine parts, but I really just enjoy the feel of the episode. It’s another one that when I rewatch, I don’t just skip to the Klaine parts, I watch the whole thing. It tells a good story, and is entertaining as hell.

What I Like:

That everyone is so kind and accepting of Sheldon Beiste! Especially Sue, who has been shown to be openly transphobic in the past.

Dealing with the t-word as a slur. It’s especially impressive given that Glee previously used this slur in a very casual way.

Blaine and Rachel are so funny when they’re getting egged and after.

I know they’re supposed to be the bad guys but I kind of love how much VA hates Will

UNIQUE IS BACK THE LOVE OF MY LIFE IS BACK

Unique and Beiste actually getting a scene together, I know I complain about the Beiste storyline but this episode was really done right.

Rachel being so dramatic about her parents selling her house and trying to sabotage its sale.

Mercedes being like “seriously Rachel needs our help AGAIN I just spent a whole week with her wtf”

Artie’s face when they bring out the wheel and Spencer is like “couldn’t we have just drawn names from a hat?”

Kurt being such a little shit about getting Blaine as his partner. He’s so fucking obvious, and you can tell that Blaine knows how obvious he is. It makes my life.

The whole scene in the hallway.

Literally the entirety of Rachel’s party. Sam telling Kurt he snuck alcohol into his drink, Roderick and Mercedes singing, then Kurt and Blaine, then Sam and Rachel. Everyone getting so into all the performances, with all the costumes and the dancing. I love it all.

The Klaine scene where they flirt so casually. GOD why didn’t they let Klaine and Brittana flirt before this season?

The Blainofsky break-up scene was so well done. I particularly loved how Dave is like “Don’t sing it, just say it”. Also when Blaine tries to act like he’s just upset because he and Kurt sang a duet and Dave is like “you guys don’t stop singing” like oh my god he gets them so hard.

How it’s obvious that Kurt and Walter are actually a couple at this point, not just casually hanging out. Even though I still wish they had given Kurt someone his own age to have this story with, it is nice to actually see him being in a relationship outside of Blaine. I feel like both Kurt and Blaine had to date other people before they could find each other, and while it feels like they take it less seriously with Kurt, it is nice to see that they do it somewhat.

The trans choir singing “I Know Where I’ve Been” is so incredible like holy shit when Glee does things right it does them right.

What I Don’t Like:

Rachel dismissing Sam when he tries to tell her that a home isn’t that important being like “I know you were homeless that has nothing to do with this” like oh my god.

Samchel in general lbr.

Vocal Adrenaline are so cartoon-y villain-ish. It kind of annoys me.

I get that this was a Will episode, but like. Too much Will.

I still wish the trans story had gone to Unique, even if this episode sells me on it way more than “Jagged Little Tapestry” did.

Songs:

You Give Love a Bad Name: A nice, upbeat way to star the episode.

Same Love: Not even Unique can save this trainwreck for me.

All About That Bass: I do like this song. I don’t like the original, but when it’s sung by two people who are actually fat, it feels more genuine. Though, I will say that I can’t believe this is the song they had the best male voice and best female voice on Glee duet.

Somebody Loves You: One of my favourite, if not my absolute favourite Klaine duet. I fucking love it. It’s so upbeat and fun, and suits their voices so well. I freaking love it.

Time After Time: I do really enjoy this song. The scene is so sweet and nostalgic, and Sam and Rachel do sound good together.

I Know Where I’ve Been: So emotional and incredible.

Final Thoughts: This is one of those episodes that Glee just did right. I know a lot of people disagree with me, but this is one of my favourite episodes of the whole show. I’ve watched it so damn many times. I fucking love it. Well done, Glee.

#ultimate glee ranking

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distressindisguise · 6 years

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Ranking My Jarchie Fanfiction

I’ve been in the Riverdale fandom for a long time so I’m going to start this off by stating that in the very beginning, the main ships were Beronica and Jarchie. Crazy right? Bughead wasn’t really a thing. Now, there are barely any Jarchie scenes in the show but I still write Jarchie fanfiction on wattpad here.

I love writing reviews and just writing period and after re-reading my fanfiction for the first time in months, I’ve decided to write a brutally honest review. So let’s begin.

5. Meadow Of Flowers

For some reason, this is one of my most popular fics. Though it always seems that way right? The things you write that you’re most proud of never get the recognition you think it deserves, but the things that have been slapped together hastily seem to do very well. A. K. A the fanfiction writer’s curse.

Here are the good things: the idea and the plot started off great. It’s a cute, clear concept. It’s not complex or hard to comprehend. The prep draws flowers on the goths notebook, the goth surprises the prep by drawing more flowers, and the prep tries to get to know him so he creates a tumblr and messages him anonymously. The text messages sent between the two are funny. It’s a good laugh, something to snicker at when you’re bored and have free time. The characters are really interesting. Archie has an infectious attitude and watching Jughead try to deal with it is equally as entertaining.

Here are the bad things. The plot loses itself somewhere in the middle. All of a sudden Jughead has an ex girlfriend that comes back in town and his father is the leader of the Mafia or some while crazy crap like that. There becomes too many irrelevant characters. None of the rest of book actually has to do with the main concept, the meadow of flowers drawn on a piece of paper that brought them together. I really don’t know how that concept got so lost. But even still, it garners up tons of reads. For what reason? Probably because of the text messages. Archie’s dirty pick up lines and Jughead’s insertion of memes are probably the only thing that keeps readers coming back.

The writing also extremely lacks. It’s a dialogue based book. There’s not much substance there. It’s literally all quotes. Definitely not my best work. I’d say it’s my worst. I cringe when people tell me they love it so much.

I haven’t updated the book in months and honestly I don’t think I’ve ever going to. If anything, I’ll delete all of the wild chapters and keep the text messages. This fic is the definition of the cringe side of Wattpad and I promise you my other fics are nothing like this trainwreck.

4. Treehouse

Treehouse is my only ongoing fanfiction. It’s probably going to be my last Jarchie fanfic. I’m not sure if it’s my last fanfic on Wattpad though. I’ll have to see. I’m kind of over the Riverdale fandom and the show if I’m being completely honest.

Jughead and Archie spend a summer in the latter’s treehouse getting to know each other, but once they get back to school the story gets twisted into a lot of dirty rumors. Jughead wants to forget what happened, but Archie wants to further their relationship.

Good things: Characterization. Jughead is fem! In this book. He’s bubbly, innocent, and an all around strong character. He’s an activist, a vegan and a super inspiring person. He’s extremely lovable. It’s easy to support and fall in love with his character. I wrote Jelly Bean, his sister, older in this book. She’s also a dynamic character. She has her own issues as well. The book doesn’t just focus on Jarchie, it focuses on Jelly Bean’s problems, Archie’s problems, Betty’s problems, and my OCs problems individually. Their lives all intertwine and that’s another aspect that makes the book great. The writing is good and the storylines are relatable.

Bad things: Because there are so many storylines, the book drags. I’m often left to wonder what the actual plot is. There’s no climax or end goal. It’s more like a look of the lives into each person, which isn’t a bad thing, but it causes the story to feel slow and sometimes meaningless. There are currently 19 chapters written and published, but it feels as if there’s much less because nothing has been accomplished and nothing has been destroyed yet.

Despite that, I do think it’s an entertaining read and in terms of writing, I think it’s easy to follow and easy to love.

3. Circumlocution

My readers like to call this book Hell.

I am usually a fluffy fic writer. My books do tend to have angst, problems that need to be solved that eventually work out, but this is not one of those books.

Jughead and Archie dated in high school until Archie left one day out of the blue. Jughead never got a call, never got an explanation, but was instead left to deal with his miserable life without one of the people who made it bearable. Archie comes back to Riverdale a year later, finds Jughead at a bar, and offers to take him home on a long, awkward, emotional car ride into the unknown.

Good things: the plot is amazing. There’s very few settings, the most used one being the car, so it’s easy to follow. It’s structured, the chapters flashback to a couple of years ago so the reader can piece together what happened to Jughead while Archie was gone and what happened to Archie after he left. The flashbacks give a glance to both sides of the story as the characters stay clueless to the whole truth until the very end. It’s my shortest, most consist fic, numbering in at 25 chapters and a heartfelt epilogue. The writing was done very well, every emotion is felt. The anxiousness, the tension, the hatred, and the hint of affection they both still had toward each other are displayed well. There are subtle clues dropped to allow the reader to guess what happened, and little details start to make sense at the very end.

Bad things: even with that “glowing review” there are some shortcomings I think. I’m also very picky about my own work by the way, so in reality these fics may not be as bad as I’m making them out to be.

Because there’s very few settings, I think sometimes the setting does get lost. I think the car could be described more. I think the mentions of the road could be used. Maybe I’m fussing, but there’s lots of times where there’s just conversation and the reader assumes that it’s in Archie’s truck because that’s where they last were. Still, I think there should be reminders instead of just still dialogue. For instance, how much moving around can you do in a car? The only other locations are pit stops to get food. The rest of the locations are in the flashbacks, which don’t really play a huge part to the story itself.

I also think that maybe the book is too dark at times. One thing that I hate about wattpad, is the number of dark fanfics written by 12 year olds who romanticize topics like depression and self harm. I didn’t romanticize the topics, but they’re there and I tried to be respectful and treat them with the seriousness that needed to be there. There’s physical abuse, substance abuse, self harm, it’s a lot. It’s why my readers call the book hell, because it’s a lot of emotions at once, especially when you grow so attached to two characters and grow to vouch for their relationship to work out in the end.

My favorite part of the fic is the epilogue because it shows someone reaching out, getting help, and trying to get better. Its the right approach.

My book is also called hell because of the ending... but I’m not going to spoil that for you.

I just think that the mood in the fic could be lighter in some aspects. There needs to be more breaks for happy flashbacks, or more light hearted conversation. Sometimes I feel as if the transitions are too quick. Jughead could go from yelling at Archie to slowly easing up when they reminisce about the past, but I think the shift should be more gradual. Still, in terms of plot/structure/and writing, it’s my best fic. Hands down. So why is it at number 3? Let’s see.

2. Nameless

Maybe this is where my bias steps in.

In reality, this would be tied with my number 1 choice because this is one of my favorites, though I don’t think it’s technically better than circumlocution in terms of plot. This is another book that drags on for longer than it’s supposed to.

Nameless didn’t have a name. He was 17 Years Old. He didn’t talk to anybody but his social worker. He didn’t show emotion. He spent his days reading and coming up with names until one felt right, for the boy had amnesia after a terrible accident that separated him from his parents and his old life. Archie comes around, and soon he learns to stop viewing with the world with indifference and hanging onto the past.

Good things: Characterization yet again. I’m very good at characterization. Although the Riverdale characters are not mine, I’m very good at giving them their own unique personalities to fit my plots and ideas. Nameless is obviously Jughead, but his character is so complex. My favorite thing is watching him grow as a person throughout the book. He seriously learns how to love, how to deal with people, and how to accept himself and what he has. Watching his relationship grow with his adoptive parents and his adoptive siblings is just as amazing as watching his relationship grow with Archie. I think that the writing is done well, though there is some things left unanswered in the end that I ended up explaining in my final author’s note. The plot is consistent as well.

Bad things: Like I mentioned earlier, I do think it drags on. Some scenes are definitely unnecessary and there’s some chapters that can be scraped out. There’s no reason for why there needed to be 60 chapters.

As a fanfic writer though, I think it’s safe to say that most of the time fics are filled with a lot of irrelevant chapters for fluff. They’re fillers, sure, but most people read for the fluffy scenes of a relationship. Chapters like that are also important for live updating a book. Sometimes it’s just easier to throw in a filler to give readers what they want in order to work on plot centered chapters. It’s something I’m conditioned to, but something that isn’t really a pro when writing a real book, which is something I want to do. Maybe I’m giving myself too much crap for this, but eh it’s definitely something that needs fixing.

Another thing that needs work would probably be my tendency to introduce characters and forget about them. One of my original characters, Jay, was a big part in the middle of the book, but then he slowly faded away and wasn’t brought up again until the epilogue.

1. Aberration

Here it is. My first Jarchie fanfic. My pride in joy. Look at the love this fic has been shown? My goodness. 116k. It’s probably my greatest accomplishment. This is my favorite fic and guess what?

It’s total bias.

But let me get into why this is good first. (Jughead being asexual is the best part)

This book is a coming of age story. It’s probably my only fanfic that takes place in the actual Riverdale Universe. All of my other fics are AU’s with the only connection to Riverdale being their names. It starts with Jughead and Archie at 4 years of age and goes up to age 27 with an epilogue at age 33. That being said, I can’t give you a specific plot summary because sooooo many problems arise and so many problems are solved throughout the years. It’s a glimpse of their life, and it’s beautiful.

Good things: sticking to canon. (In the beginning at least) Jughead is just as lost, confused, and edgy as he was in season one. (I say season one because Jughead in season 2 felt like a whole different character and I feel like the writers kind of ruined him. There’s such thing as character development but I think they went overboard. Anyways, that’s a different story.)

Their childhood is written as I envisioned it. There’s canon conversations, like Archie’s proposal to Betty when they were kids. It’s sweet.

Besides sticking to canon, I do a good job of sticking to parallels since there’s such a wide range of events and incidents going on. I think it shows continuity in the characters from when they were 10 to when they were 20.

Not only that, but the plot is just all around entertaining. There’s always something to aww at, something to get mad at, something to laugh at, something to cry at. It’s emotional, watching them grow up and go through all sorts of things. The problems that arise are real coming of age problems. People lose friends, make new ones, go through identity crisis, deal with loss, deal with stress, deal with home issues. It’s all there and very real. It’s raw. I love that. The character development is also amazing. Watching little kids turn into strong men and women is really interesting and fun to watch.

My favorite part is that Jughead is ASEXUAL.

I did so much research. When I found out that Jughead was supposed to be asexual in the show, I took my chance and ran with it. I did my best to represent the asexual community in this book. It’s what makes it so unique. It’s why this is my favorite. I get lots of dms about how this helped people figure out how they identify or get trough what they were feeling. I’ve put resources to the AVEN website, a safe community for asexuals. I did my best and I love the product. I love that I’ve helped people. This really is why this is my number one. Besides that representation, Kevin Keller is gay, Archie is bisexual, Liliana (my og character) is Hispanic, and my other og character, Aaron, is African American. Everyone loves my OCs in the book, especially Jackson. Representation to me is soooooo important. It’s one thing that I really nailed.

Another thing that I love about this book is that my development as a writer is so obvious. As the chapters go on, I get better and better. I start to fall into a style, and it’s so enjoyable to see that reading it again. The chapters get more descriptive, the grammar starts to improve, and the plot starts to get more complex.

However, in terms of technical aspects, it’s probably one of my worst written fics in the beginning. Still not as bad as Meadow of Flowers, but close.

Bad things: First of all, it’s written in present tense. That’s not totally against writing rules, but it’s unconventional and it’s more common for stories to be told in past tense. Again, I didn’t really know what I was doing. It was my first time writing in third person. It was my first time taking a crack at storytelling in years.

The grammar is awful. Because it’s in present tense, my tenses and verbs are sort of messed up at times. It feels awkward. And if it’s not that, it’s the fact that I for some reason can’t spell for my life. It makes for some very embarrassing typos like “he pressed a quick piss to his forehead.” I also didn’t know that whines and wines were two very different things.

...

I used wines as a verb for most of the book. If I was writing in past tense, I probably would’ve caught onto that mistake 100 chapters ago.

That’s another thing, the book is actually 100 chapters long. Despite that though, it doesn’t really drag like the other books do because there’s a new problem that comes along with every age. There’s not many dead spots, but some people do lose interest in it after the two graduate high school which is around chapter 60 I want to say? There’s a table of contents in the beginning that separates the chapters by what grade of school they’re in and by age. It’s convenient. You’ll need it if you don’t feel like sitting through elementary school Jarchie. Or maybe you don’t like college Jarchie and you want to skip to adult Jarchie. I’m telling you, it’s convenient.

But back to the grammar thing, I didn’t know that most quotes didn’t end with periods at the time, and that’s a huge problem that doesn’t get corrected until maybe my fourth book. All the dialogue had periods at the end instead of commas. For instance:

“But you said I could,” Jughead whined.

^That’s correct.

However, this is what I did:

“But you said I could.” Jughead wines.

^That basically sums up how bad the grammar is throughout.

Though technically imperfect, it’s definitely still a good read. The plot is amazing. 116k reads should tell you that it’s worth the read if you can get past those mistakes. Although I’m being hard on myself about it now, no one really noticed it. If they did, they never called me out on it. Honestly, writing on Wattpad has low expectations so just separating paragraphs correctly boosts your writing into the good category. Honestly that’s my biggest pet peeve. I used to do it too, but I can’t read a book that has huge paragraphs of dialogue without a separation between which character is saying what. It gives me headaches.

There’s tons of mistakes in this book, trust me. However, I think I’m going to leave the mistakes there. I want to look back on it, pisses instead of kisses on foreheads and all.

Anyways, I spent a good few hours writing this review and I doubt most people are going to read this but it’s going on my blog because it’s an honest evaluation.

Honorable Mention

That sixth book you see in the first image? The one with the flowers on the cover? It’s called Alphabet Jarchie and it’s my ongoing one shot book. I take a word from every letter of the alphabet and write a one shot about it. Obviously I can’t really rank it with my fics, but the one shots are helping me cut to the chase in my writing, and I think my ideas are pretty good. So if you don’t feel like sitting through my longggggg fanfics (though they are pretty enticing but this is me being harsh) you can check out my one shots.

This was fun.

DistressInDisguise x

Again, you can find my works here or under my username @DistressInDisguise on Wattpad.

#jarchie #jarchie fanfiction #jughead jones #archie andrews #riverdale fanfiction #fanfic #fanfiction #analysis #book review #distressindisguise #wattpad #riverdale #otp

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realtvsbb · 6 years

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Thoughts on the bb20 cast.

Before I go dig into the cast I must say: I am a very casual viewer who is broke and therefore the closest I can get to the live feeds is to go to Jokers or hamster watch. It is also very hard for me to watch a season I am not interested in, at all. For example, I could not watch bb19 after Dominique was voted out. What would have been the point? I did not watch the latter half of survivor ghost island and never finished watching survivor game changers. That’s the kind of watcher I am.

This season, I am casually, very casually, optimistic. I have a couple of people I can see myself rooting for. Here it comes in no particular order:

* Chris, because I already refuse to call him whatever it is that he wants me to call him, was surprisingly charming during Ika’s interview (The only interview that actually shows me these people’s personality). He looks like he’s going to be a frantic player who doesn’t know how to keep calm, therefore, I predict that he will be super entertaining for the amount of time we have him on the screen. Not sure about his longevity in the game tho...

* Rachel, she looks like Jessica but sounds less annoying than I thought. I don’t know about her. I tend to be harder on the girls because I hate it when they end up disappointing me. Everything she says sounds right to me but I just can’t get on board with her until I see her inside the house.

* Angela, her picture makes her look like she’s on drugs. But, other than that I just think she’ll get into a showmance with whoever and make it to jury but won’t be a character or someone who drives strategy.

* Tyler, I am always so hard on the surfer dude. I remember hating Devon when he was introduced in survivor hhh but! I just get a really good feeling from this guy. I think he will either be very good strategically or a trainwreck and frankly, I’m on board with both. I just think (hope) he will be memorable and I don’t see him going too soon unless he makes himself a threat.

*Sam, I LOVE HER. I know I said that I tend to be harder on the girls but this one just won me over. She is so personable and charming. I think she will get along with everyone and everyone will like her. She doesn’t strike me as particularly strategic but I think she’ll make it far if she is able to stay out of drama and build relationships. I also loved her interview with Ika, especially when they were going through scenarios. I am charmed.

*Kaycee, I’m sorry but I just think this chick’s boring. I don’t think she will bring any strategy into the house but I do see her being a physical threat. I wonder how well she will be able to blend with the other houseguest and for some reason, I don’t see her fitting in too well.

* Brett... he sounds, talks and looks sooooo boring. He either goes deep by being furniture of goes out early for the exact same reason.

* Bayleigh, I just know she will bring up the drama. I want to root for her so bad but I am apprehensive because I do see her going out early if she is too much for the other houseguests. I hope her and Sam can build a relationship because I think that could be beneficial for Bayleigh. She will be a character but I don’t know how fast she will be able to pick up the game.

* Kaitlin, I like the way she talks, it's really smooth and calming, but she is insane! okay... she is not that bad but I wonder how can she fit into the house. People might get freaked out by her if all she talks about is her beliefs. I don’t see her being a strategist but I am looking forward to how her strategy of sensing people’s aura works out in the house. If she is able to sense people’s intentions I would love to see that edit!

* Haleigh (or something like that... I did not double check.) I honestly understand when people compare her to Arryn (only physically). She looks too young to actually win the game but she seems to at least be willing to try. I don’ t know about her chances but I do know that I’m not feeling her completely. I want to like her but I just can’t get there for now.

* Scottie, I’m sorry but I love this guy! he is charming and self-deprecating and just so funny. He seems easy-going and entertaining. He reminds me a bit of Johnny Mac. I think he could make it far if he is able to ingratiate himself with the right people. I worry for him in the case he does not fit in with them but as of now, I am cautiously on his side.

* Faysal, he reminds me of Josh. I don’t have a lot to say about this guy other than it could go either way for him. I do hope he can do well and maybe pick up some strategy but I kind of think he will be out early...

* JC, I just can’t with this guy. He is too out there for me. I don’t seem him ever winning nor do I want him to win. He said he is Spanish as in from Spain but he has a Cuban accent I don’t know what he is doing or what he’s thinking I hope he is out early is only because I refuse to be represented by someone so insane.

* Angie, I just think Robyn Cass has a weird crystal obsession. First Jonny from bbcan6 and then two crystal people in the next bb season... come on. Angie could be a perfectly normal person for all we know but based on her interview and bio she is going out early like it or not. I hope it wasn't this way but I just can’t see a way out of it for her.

* Steve, I don’t have anything to say about him other than the fact that I am usually sympathetic of the old person in the season but this guy yells smug at me and I don’t like him.

* Winston, he has potential and I hope I get to see what he can do. His face is strange and I do not find him attractive but I think I couple of the girls in the house might. He did mention that he was not open to a showmance but WHO KNOWS I won’t be surprised if he get in one. I do want him to do well. He was someone who surprised me during the interviews but he has seens gone lower on the totem pole of people I really like... so we’ll see what happens.

#bb20 #big brother 20 #bb20 cast #Tyler #Scottie #Sam #Bayleigh #Rachel #Kaitlin #Chris #or swaggy c #Winston #and whoever the rest of the people are

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lavalampelfchild · 7 years

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How would those of your OCs in protagonist positions react to the crappy traveling theater troupe adaptation of their story?

Oh, no, it’s Commedia dell’arte… Who would be what stock character? Ahem, on to the actual prompt:

For my DAO crew: Gazza’s character is turned into a man bythe troupe, and Aja’s character is somehow her love interest, and Aja is soembarrassed by that that she almost leaves. Alistair manages to convince her to stay and watch, but really this isjust utterly inaccurate! Aja is not adainty delicate flower who can barely walk ten steps before needing to becarried in male Gazza’s big strong manly arms!

For her part, Gazza is a mixture of annoyed and amused. She’s seen plays before, and she’s seen somesilly portrayals of her father in some of them, and it’s all been done in goodfun, but this troupe pushes the envelope a bit more than usual. At least they all strike her as too dumb toreally go for the biting satire. Hercharacter can also communicate telepathically, which strikes her as just alittle much.

Velyn is offended by the wooden ears they used for hischaracter, and BY THE CREATORS the Dalish don’t act like that, why do all theshem think they have to sacrifice goats to appease the Creators?! There aren’t even any goats in the BrecilianForest! His review: “This is shit.” Velyn is the only one of the group who isshouting at the actors with the serious intent to get them to listen to him,and his frustration is only made worse when Alistair teases him about it. “No, keep shouting, I’m sure they’ll listenthis time. Maybe try from that side ofthe stage, I think there are better acoustics over there.” (Yes, acoustics exist in Thedas and people knowabout them because reasons.)

Ila is depicted as the sneaky thief in the shadows who neverreveals her face on stage, and Ila herself isn’t really impressed by thisparticular portrayal of her, but she is so morbidly fascinated by thistrainwreck of shemlen culture that she isn’t able to look away… She has neverexperienced anything like this before, and it’s surprisingly fascinating to seehow the shem make entertainment for themselves. Also, that one actress who plays her is too loud.

And then we have the dwarves, Gundhram and Tristan. Now, not many people know this, but whendwarves are depicted on stage, if the troupe can’t get a surface dwarf to playthe part, they’ll pad up a young child, slap a fake beard on them, and thenhave a man with a deep voice give the character’s lines from offstage while thechild actor gesticulates on stage. (I’mcompletely making that up, but it amused me and sounded like a seriously badstage choice to make, so I’m running with it for the “crappy theater troupe”theme.)

Gundhram finds this irksome, unfunny, and somewhatoffensive, but he doesn’t let it get to him. Except he will wince when he sees a little human child on stage puffinghis fake belly out and waddling around like a sodding idiot. Meanwhile, Tristan heckles. A lot. He’ll drink while he watches the crappo troupe, and then he’ll shoutover the actors’ lines and just generally be That Guy. He thinks it’s stupid, really, but it’s goodfor one hell of a laugh. Also, if Zevran’sthere, get ready for some serious Grade A heckling.

And last, but not least, Alistair’s character was turnedinto a woman and ends up fighting Aja’s character over Gazza’s (male)character. Alistair thinks that’s arather inaccurate portrayal of his actual relationships with Aja and Gazzarespectively… (This is getting too ridiculous, @celeritassagittae, stop makingme think of the most ridiculous scenarios for this!)

And for DA2:

If we’re talking about Jaren Hawke, he absolutely loves it. The crappier the better. He makes everyone go with him to this event,and then proceeds to interact with the actors perhaps more than they would likehim to. Absolutely demonstrates typicalgroundling behavior (be brought a bag of throwing fruit just for the occasion),and loves the crappy jokes. One of thefew things that actually brings him some joy in Kirkwall, especially if he seesit in one of the later acts. He mighteven use his status as Champion to give the troupe an honorary title he made upon the spot. 10/10, would watch again,also bring a Fenris, Fenris is surprisingly into the heckling. Would not recommend bringing an Anders,unless you’re ready to deal with the fallout of a magically-induced “accident”that set half the stage on fire.

For DAI:

Honestly, Lena could have everyone executed for itif she wanted, but Empress Celene she ain’t. And honestly, she thinks it’s funny… Lena has a surprisingly low-browsense of humor when she wants to, and she’s of the mind (in large part thanksto Vivienne) that allowing the poking of fun at the Inquisition will keeppeople from getting too nervous about it. Besides she’s no stranger to people using the arts to make fun of somenoble or to provoke a response, so that helps her from giving an… unseemlyreaction.

That being said, when Sera makes her way onto the stagedressed as an old beggar lady who stabs people with her arrows (fake arrows,thankfully) in their behinds, Lena falls apart. The snort-laughter lasts for about five solid minutes before she’s ableto control it.

Jem doesn’t get a character in the troupe because he’s a spy andno one knows who he, specifically, is. There’s a character whom he suspects to be modeled after him, but hejust grins to himself and watches the trainwreck in very amused silence. He may or may not have considered going upthere and just pretending to be one of the actors for kicks and giggles. As an aside, Dorian finds the whole thing so utterly southern, and also the acting isterrible, and Jem finds his reactionshilarious. He eggs him on, pointing out all the things that he knows will annoy Dorian, and really that’s just as entertaining as the play itself.

Trilyn would honestly not know what to make of it. He’s rarely experienced the more artisticside of his own culture; of course he hasn’t really had any experience with theartistic culture of any other nations. In the end, though, he would find it funny in its innocuousness. He’s a bit more patient with the portrayalsbecause there is no one portraying his character; that would be crossing allthe wrong boundaries. He’s as fascinatedby the hecklers as the actors. He wouldmost likely keep to the back to observe and avoid being dragged into anything.

Saara doesn’t do plays, and would have absolutely noobservable reaction during the proceedings. She’s like a Vulcan; she locks down her emotions hard. Except when with Jem and Pilot. And secretly, Saara’s got some purist inher. If she lived in modern times, shewould be very critical of book-to-movie adaptations, and this is nodifferent. While sitting with Jem, shewould quietly but firmly remark on how that wasn’t how it happened, and if they’regoing to butcher the reality of the actual sequence of events for the sake ofcomedy, can they at least have the decency to be funny? She’s vicious.

#celeritassagittae #ask response #Aja Amell #Ilhenan tabris #ila tabris #velyn mahariel #gundhram aeducan #tristan brosca #gazza cousland #jaren hawke #lena de la roche #saara #jem #trilyn #so many characters...#also I want this to be a thing that actually happens #my writing

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lia-nikiforov · 7 years

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Winter 2017 Anime watchlist

Lmao this was supposed to go up last week but it takes me forever to write these things up orz.

Anyway, we’re 1/3 of the way into this barren Winter season, and thus my watchlist has shrunk significantly. I think I’m currently watching what, 10 shows? vs 23-ish last season? Anyway we’ve had a couple neat surprises this season, but it’s mostly the sequels that are keeping everything interesting. Also there’s quality hatewatch material which I hadn’t had in a while.

Because I fucked up, this time I’m going from best to worst rather than the usual opposite

Top Priority

Showa Genroku Rakugo Shinju: Futatabi Sukeroku-hen

To no one’s surprise, Rakugo maintains it’s tightly written character drama in top form. The direction is still unusually creative and masterful, especially considering this is a DEEN anime, production team deserves every kudo. If season one was a tragedy, season 2 is gearing up for a story of salvation. Every week I go in completely prepared to suffer and am repeatedly surprised by how happy I feel at the end of each episode. Scenes like Yakumo consoling a sleeping Konatsu with her father’s rakugo or his performing an old play in Sukeroku’s style for Yotaro are as heart-wrenching as they’re heartwarming. S1 was a strong contender for anime of the year 2016 (and for me it was a toss up between that and YOI) and season 2 seems ready to pick on that and go for a second run.

High-Priority

Ao no Exorcist: Kyoto saga

Honestly this one had my full devotion guaranteed when they decided to commit to those thick af Kansai accents. I am also very pleased with the budget this is getting, it looks reeeaaally nice. Kato’s designs have translated to animation greatly (not that this was a surprise since they did that pretty well on the first series too). The plot seems to be moving rather fast so I wonder if they won’t suffer to fill in the full cour (although this arc is quite long) but for the time being I’m excited to get the Kyoto otaku in me continually catered to.

Yowamushi Pedal: Next Generation

I was a Little dubious about how well they’d manage the transition of Makishima’s departure, and while killing him off was rather abrupt to the point I’d even say the guy was fridged for the sake of Onoda’s development, they did a rather good job in setting Teshima as the new role model for the 1st years (who is also very dreamy). I also laughed my ass off with how gigantic they made Ashikiba who is a rather delightful addition to the cast. Kudos to you show, you’ve got me excited in a new season even without my favorite character.

Little Witch Academia

It’s hard to find something to say about this show other than it’s energetic, lively and fun to a fault and that Sucy is still Best Girl. It’s very easy to tell how passionate the folks at TRIGGER are about this project and I’m glad they didn’t give up and continued to work on it even if it was poorly received by Japanese audiences. The show reminds me a bit of The Worst Witch, which I used to love in my early teens so there’s also that.

Kuzu no Honkai

This is such a fascinatingly disturbing show to watch. Like watching a trainwreck I guess, except that it’s not a trainwreck in the sense of Hand Shakers, but in you’re just watching all these horrible people destroy each other and self-destruct emotionally and it’s really interesting. I’m particularly invested in Hanabi’s internal struggle and self-deprecation. Could complete dispose of Moca (whose choice of nickname makes my skin crawl) but otherwise I’m constantly at the edge of my seat waiting for the next developments. I also continue to be rather fond of the vagina imagery in the ending, and I appreciate that there’s actually a show that treats female sexuality in a layered, human way, for purposes beyond otaku titillation.

All Out!!

This show continues to grow on me with its unique approach to team dynamics. The fact that rugby teams are so big gives us an interesting opportunity of seeing many characters take the spotlight at different times, and this show’s cast continues to be funny and extremely likable to the point that even if Gion has had to sit out most of the games, and even if there isn’t as much focus on Sekizan as I’d like, they’re still engaging and fun. There have also been genuinely emotional peaks, notoriously when that one guy quite the team and it crushed Sekizan’s heart. Also kudos for how even in-show Sekizan’s amazing hair is considered cray-cray

Classicaloid

Honestly this second cour just keeps getting better? I don’t know how they did it but they managed to make me not care about whether we’ll ever get some semblance of plot or explanations, I could watch the Beethoven, Mozart, Schubert, Chopin and Liszt doing nonsense stuff show all year round. Whoever wrote the Fish!Schubert episode should get an Oscar and a Nobel Prize

Here we make a drastic leap between things I’m loving and things I’m just eh-watching

ACCA 13-ku Kansatsu-ka

Aaaahhh what should I do about you, show. Ep 1 was okay, ep 2 was great, ep 3 was kind of nothing. There’s obviously way more than meets the eye in this allegedly peaceful country and once that starts to unfold the show will start gaining momentum, hopefully, but as it is I think it suffers greatly from how inscrutable the main character is. I have no idea of Jean’s motivations beyond his love of cigarettes (and I feel they’re overdoing it, unless they plan to make the tabacco thing a crucial part of the plot later on, they’re hammering the whole ‘tobacco is rare and this guy is weird for smoking’ thing way too hard) so we’re at this weird position of not really knowing where we’re going. I’m intrigued enough to keep watching, but I certainly hope we get some form of interesting developments sooner rather than later.

Gundam Iron-Blooded Orphans

The writing continues to be notoriously better while the story gets more and more tragic and I still don’t know how to feel about it. Seeing bad guys cheating their way to victory always upsets me a lot, and seeing people die meaninglessly only adds insult to injury. I’m in too deep to drop it at this point, but I honestly can’t forgive how they didn’t even give us that final revenge moment against the Kujan kid. Also every time Atra brings up her dream life of being part of a polyamorous marriage with Mikazuki creeps me the fuck out because obviously Mikazuki doesn’t have the emotional maturity to engage in any such relationship

Onihei

I’m very uncertain about what to do with this show. First episode was promising, with murky direction, but interesting setting. Episode two was mostly unimpressive, the final twist was rather predictable and the moral outcome wasn’t particularly satisfying. And then episode three put me to sleep. My first impression was that the dyamics between Heizo and his thief-turned-snitch subordinate would be the core of the show, but the latter seems to have been mostly sidelined in favor of focusing on the coolness of Heizo. Which isn’t a problem per say, but the execution just isn’t working and they’re completely wasting the Edo setting, with the cases turning out quite generic. I don’t know, ep 4 is already out so I guess I’ll check that out and decide from there (watched episode 4 already, fell asleep again which I guess is as good a sign as any that this isn’t working for me,but I’m too lazy to move it to the bottom. Dropped)

Hate-watching

Hand Shakers

Why is this pile of steaming garbage over the mediocre (and gross) show? Well, this one’s gross too, but exceedingly terrible is always better for ironic entertainment than plain boring stuff. At least Hand Shakers keeps me engrossed with its terribleness. Honest to good, even if I hardly remember what the previous episode was about, I’m always looking forward to the next one, I enjoy the terribleness too much.

Also, this is a little insignificant, but this is the first time I see any reference to the Japanese immigrants in Brazil (th, which was kind of a big thing back in the 1930s, in any anime I’ve ever watched, and since I had to look up into that for my thesis, it felt kinda nice to see it and understand why Brazil of all countries.

Super Lovers 2

This is so boring. Even when they try to address the issues I had with the previous season (mainly questioning the nature of Haru and Ren’s relationship), they always do it half-assedly. No drama, no tension, no resolution and certainly no semblance of any plot progression and it’s becoming increasingly tedious. The introduction of the new host guy could add at least some drama to the plot, but I’m not holding my breath. The dog continues to be cute

I dropped Marginal #4 since episode 2 and I can’t quite remember what it was about other than there was a long sequence of one of the guys desperately looking for his “lucky undies” and I’m too old for this level of juvenile “lol undies” humor. Turns out “not putting me to sleep” wasn’t that strong an asset after all.

Anyway really dead season but the scarce good stuff is really quite good, and the truly terrible stuff is so terrible it’s hilarious so overall the season doesn’t feel as terrible as it could.

#winter anime #anime watchlist #showa genroku rakugo shinju #ao no exorcist #yowamushi pedal #kuzu no honkai #little witch academia #all out!!#classicaloid #acca 13-ku kansatsu-ka #gundam iron blooded orphans #onihei #hand shakers #super lovers

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