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stellarsagittarius · 5 months

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🦋🩵 Pluto in your Natal Chart: How you seek Power & Control 🩵🦋

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Pluto in the 1H

You are someone with a intense amount of personal power. There is such a mysterious tone to these individuals which isn't overly to-your-face or overwhelming, it is this consuming magnetic aura these people have. It pulls people in slowly but when it does, oh they are in for some treat. It shows that you view the world as a place to be controlled. You need power in YOUR hands, and do not like it when someone else tries to assume things about you because really, nobody can truly read you. You look into situations so deeply, and this depth is intertwined with the way you seek to view the world and yourself on a very transformative lenses. You bring an immense amount of change wherever you go because of the very way you think about how things should be. If any personal planet or Ascendant is making a conjunct, then this is related to a lot of personal experiences that deeply changes you.

Pluto in 2H

You need an immense amount of control over your finances and your resources. You may not be the most sharing type, but you do like to give out to those who you truly see are in need, and know that they won't misuse it. This is especially heightened if pluto makes a conjunct to any personal planets in your second house. You are ready to do anything for money, this is said in the best way possible, though if unchecked it can define a person who attaches the value of themselves to how much possessions they have. It can make you possessive and obsessive over controlling your finances, or making you feel like no matter what you do you always end up in some sort of misery. If this is taken in a growth-oriented way then it makes you someone who absolutely knows their worth, and won't settle for anything less than the best. Material detachment is very necessary for you to recognize your true power.

Pluto in 3H

You are someone with an intense thinking pattern. Mainly the way you communicate things to other people or even regulate information within your own brain is tainted by this need to get to the truth. You intensify the process of learning, you need to get to the absolute truth, the in-depth reasoning behind why certain things happen the way they do. You could have been mistreated in school or felt like your school years were more or less quite of a challenge. If pluto makes a conjunct to any personal planet, it especially intensifies the way you learn from the world. The way you always question logic and reasoning behind already proven theories. You hold power in learning. And you might be especially selective when it comes to what kind of information you are consuming, because if you aren't then it can lead to overthinking/anxiousness.

Pluto in 4H

You are extremely private. Especially if pluto makes a conjunct to any personal planet, you have clear boundaries between your personal and public life. You do not like to put your matters out in the world, or even feel like opening up with just anyone. Your family life is something that can often get you worked up. You desire control over your private life, over family matters, and this naturally makes you someone assertive when it comes to proving dominance in your home. There could be a lot of clashes with people because you have conflicting ideas about what measures to take in certain situations, and this can lead you to keeping a very hard shell around you. You may feel like the need to constantly protect your personal space, your vulnerability and to not let people get close to you. You may have experienced a lot of turbulence in your home life while growing up or had issues with your father.

Pluto in 5H

You are someone who can have impulsive tendencies when it comes to pleasure. Pluto in fifth often manifests as someone who happens to get way too comfortable in all the good things that it may turn harmful to their well-being. You can become obsessed with all kinds of pleasures out there. This is mostly in extreme cases if pluto is conjunct any malefic. At the same time you are someone who highly values their personal freedom. You have a desire to take control over your happiness, your passions and what your inner child needs. You don't do well in enviorments that restrict you from creating something for yourself. You could have had experiences in life where you felt like you didn't have control over your joys. You always had to oblige to other or people came between you and your passions.

Pluto in 6H

You are someone intensely focused on perfection. You do not like when things are not being done the way you planned it. This is especially intensified if pluto makes a conjunct to any personal planets. You like control over your routines, your surroundings, doing small things for yourself. This can indicate someone picky, someone particular of what they need in their life or on the other hand this can indicate someone who hates following through routines as they feel it limits them in some way. Struggling with procrastination is also one thing for some people. You are the type to want control over any tasks, sort of become the manager. This may make you someone who is overly bossy, like in a good way if you know other people's boundaries. You may struggle a bit with 0CD, feel like you have stay on top of your work, etc.

Pluto in 7H

What you love, is to be in control of your relationships. You may have bit of obsessive tendencies when it comes to the people you are romantically involved with and you also seek this depth in all your friendships. You are the type to not open up with just anyone, and relationships often come as a challenge because you look so deep within all the situations with other people. Casual relationships, platonic or romantic, aren't your thing. This is especially heightened if any personal planets make a conjunct to your pluto. You seek control over your relationships as well, to gain a good amount of understanding of it. Relationships transform you, this is due to the very depth with which you seek to understand other people. Needless to say, you may have had difficulty in maintaining relationships, or you may have had quite challenging people in your life that highly affected your ability to connect with others.

Pluto in 8H

You are someone who wants control over how you involve yourself with other people. This is especially effective when a personal planet is conjunct your pluto. You either end up in alot of drama or not end up in one at all. Because you need to be in check of what you are giving out and receiving form others. This can make you quite an intense person when it comes to business. Pluto does indicate loss due to an intense amount of transformation, and eight house is the house of transformation. So you can be quite good at knowing when it's time to shed the skin and become someone new. Or it may get challenging for you to find the light at the end of the tunnel due to a lot intense thoughts about what is out there in life. You may have tendencies to overthink your interactions with other people, and sometimes feel like everybody involve themselves in your business.

Pluto in 9H

You are some extremely selective about the beliefs you embody. But at the same time you have this desire to explore the true meaning of reality itself and sort of completely challenge the already set status quo. You seek to transform because of the philosophy you embody. It is deeply intertwined with how you seek to approach the world itself. You observe and learn on a very deep level. This is especially intensified if pluto makes a conjunct to any personal planets, it gives you this power over influencing people's beliefs and even be this ideal person people can learn from. Knowledge is very important for you to understand the world at large on a deep lens. You are generally interested in the more challenging side of "humanity" like world hunger, poverty, etc. You seek to find the core meaning and whether that meaning is acceptable or not.

Pluto in 10H

You are someone who knows the importance of taking actions that leave a mark. You do not let people dictate what you do, at all. So, you want to have the most control over the way you present yourself, act on your goals and your reputation. You could have dealt with a controlling mother, or people who tried to get in your way in front of everyone else. You may deal with a fear of public or being afraid of social interactions because of being so conscious about your self-image. This is true mostly if you have pluto conjunct a personal planet in your tenth house. On the brighter note, you wish to gain complete control over your career as well. You absolutely do not like taking orders from other and are a boss of your own rythmn. Your public image is something that allows you to assess your actions very deeply.

Pluto in 11H

Social interactions are a key to your personal transformation. This is especially true if pluto is conjunct any personal planets. You are someone who needs to be the best one between your peers or you are someone who struggles with social anxiety. This placement can make people either ambitious or anxious. And both are okay. The thing is you put a lot of emphasis on how well you are doing in your social circles and how many people you are able to, sort of, "gather" for yourself. You need people, you want control over the way people react to you in different circumstances and you truly want them to be on your side. This may induce either a fear of actually making such networks or an overzealous ambition that may lead to an obsession over your social status. You need as many connections as possible because of this fear of either being alone or not having a good status or even just beliefs instilled by your peers that you always have to crave validation.

Pluto in 12H

This is bit of a challenging placement, but I will say that it can be overcome if you use these situations to propel you even further in life, and not stay stuck anymore. It's about recognizing and accepting. This is especially true for those with pluto conjunct a personal planet in twelfth house, because pluto alone has weak effects. You really think deep, and it's almost this fear of how deep you can actually go. Your subconscious is something that really holds the power for you to understand how these thoughts can be channeled in the right direction. Meditation is one big game changer for you. You can struggle with excessive thinking, almost to a point that it's just challenging to even detach from those thoughts. Ground yourself as much as possible. You experience these intense insights into people's underlying intentions and your own psyche.

Thank you for reading 🩵!

#astrology #pluto #natal chart reading #astrology readings #astrology chart #natal chart #pluto in astrology #pluto signs #astrology signs #astrology observations #natal chart observations

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moonastro · 7 days

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Juno persona chart

jupiter in the houses

what is a juno persona chart? looking into juno persona chart gives more detailed insight of how the relationship and marriage overall of you and your spouse will be like. it also describes them in a sense as well. The Greek Goddess Juno is described to rule over love and marriage and hence why the asteroid is looked into for that theme.

jupiter represents luck, it expands anything it touches and gives prosperity in that area. in the juno persona chart, jupiter signifies the luck the couple has within the marriage, what possible expansions marriage life of the couple receives and what possibly wisdom the couple takes.

reminder: this is my interpretation from observations and first hand experiences, so don't take this to heart.

**reminder no.2 that this can be used for signs as well, so for example if jupiter is in aries in 6th house, make sure to check out jupiter in 1st house also as it may resonate.

jupiter in 1st house: marriage may be full of quick decisions, not waiting around brings luck to the couple. acting right away is the way to go for this placement. the couple may find luck in cars, perhaps you always have access to transport, have access to cars, may even own lots of cars or some sort of quick transport. marriage may bring growth to developing how to cope with anger or short temper, this placement may bring expansion to have healthy coping mechanisms when it comes to short temper or raising voice. marriage may bless the individual with courage to show the real them for example showing off their real style, personality, likes and interests etc. these individuals may have a very nice and luxurious (a grand) home after marriage, exterior of home may look big and expensive so this may be an indication of having a big house after marriage. jupiter here may brings lots of movement to the individual after marriage, their life may liven up a bit and there may be lots of movement during marriage. life can be full of life, full of passion, desire and motivation so a sense of fulfilment may occur and make the individual feel alive.

spouse may have natal jupiter in aries, 1st house, fire sign or fire house.

jupiter in 2nd house: marriage may bring luck to resources, money, materialistic things and ones value. the couple may receive lots of gifts from other people, not cheap also, this placement just attracts gifts and luxury. also expect people offering you to go out for dinner or lunch after marriage, this brings expansion in areas of socialising and allowing oneself to destress and rewind. marriage can be full of relaxation, after marriage the native can have luck in having s stress free mind or a less one. jupiter here may bring growth to having patience with one another, adapting to foreign environments and finding comfort in anywhere one may go. marriage may bring luck in artistic fields related to the voice, the arts, dancing, cooking, food related and beauty related. this placement may have luck in those themes and may have a business or open up a store related to these themes.

spouse may have natal jupiter in taurus, 2nd house, earth sign or earth house.

jupiter in 3rd house: marriage may bring luck in communication, writing, expression of oneself and getting to the point. this placement bring expansion to speaking so couple much talk things out even if they are the tiniest of little misconceptions they should be sorted out rough communication. i feel like this placement also gives luck in education, so this placement go back to school, college or university after marriage or they decide to study something they have been interested in after marriage. marriage may bring this placement extreme motivation and inspiration from their partner so they may want to complete everything at once as ideas keep coming and coming. this placement may find lessons to do with trust and talking behind each others backs, also learning how to stay within each others energy levels and keeping up with each other ideas and supporting each other in that sense.

spouse may have natal jupiter in gemini, 3rd house, air sign or air house.

jupiter in 4th house: marriage may bring luck in family relations. perhaps getting closer to family through marriage, visiting family more often after marriage, spending more time with the mother especially after marriage. this is also an indication of having luck in having a family of your own, so having kids may bring more luck in that field. having a comfortable home of your own will expand your luck, being comfortable in your own home is very important for example, having every detail of the house according to the way that makes you feel warm and cosy can make a different in your growth as a person. this placement is spiritually gifted with their intuition and learning to believe in themselves. Jupiter here has a lesson to never diss oneself and always believe in your abilities after marriage. through marriage connecting with ones ancestors may bring great fortune also.

spouse may have natal jupiter in cancer, 4th house, water sign or water house.

jupiter in 5th house: the couple may have luck in children. this placement really enhances the amount of children the couple may have, so most likely people with this placement have lots of children. also the couple may find happiness and expansion with children, perhaps it helps with their mental health, their spiritual journey, their mindset and their luck in general. also this placement may find growth in their confidence may grow in confidence and have their own way. also this placement most likely will be quite well known whether its within the community, neighbouring, worldwide etc. This placement finds growth in their ego, so usually after marriage their views of life and their mindset may drrastically change for the better especially after having kids.

spouse may have natal jupiter in leo, 5th house, fire sign or fire house.

jupiter in 6th house: marriage may bring luck to health and fitness. this placement may have fortune in their health for example getting more fitter by going to gym, eating more healthy, changing unhealthy life style, changing up their routine for the better after marriage. the couple may find expansion in the field of taking care of something, perhaps taking care of each other, taking care of pets, taking care of friends, taking care of grand-parents and so forth, however, that will bring luck. jupiter here may bring lessons it terms of criticality, judgement, lack of mentality and perfectionism after marriage. jupiter here brings luck in routine, their day-to-day life may be lucky for example someone with this placement may just get opportunities when going to the store or finding a valuable item while walking a dog and so forth.

spouse may have natal jupiter in virgo, 6th house, earth sign or earth house.

jupiter in 7th house: marriage may be favourable in having good relations to each others grandparents. this placement may experience lots of luck in law situations such as legal matters related to the government and documents. the couple may never be involved in problems related to the law or always have luck in that field. marriage may bring luck to connections and relations in general, you may have more ease connecting with other people, you may get on with people more easily. this may work to this placements favour as it can expand the amount of opportunities one can receive, getting more compliments, being liked by people you thought disliked you and so forth.

spouse may have natal jupiter in libra, 7th house, air sign or air house.

jupiter in 8th house: couple may have luck in keeping secrets, what i mean by that is they keep things private very well so that comes to an advantage to them because it shocks the people around them and question things like 'since when??' or 'whatt?' that sort of vibe. this placement keeps people wondering, guessing and interested in your marriage and this placement never gives them the satisfaction. this protects the couples privacy and protects their energy also. this protects the couple from negative energy which protects their luck. this is a very powerful placement to have since this expands the spiritual bond between he couple also. strategizing goals and researching and just planning in general may bring luck to this placement for example, planning outings, shopping, researching contracts and the background of the contract before signing, researching what holiday you'll be travelling to and so forth.

spouse may have natal jupiter in scorpio, 8th house, water sign or water house.

jupiter in 9th house: this placement brings luck to those who travel abroad, living outside of the environment that they grew up in will bring growth and extreme luck. another thing is that the couple may find luck in being enthusiastic and charismatic, also making jokes and taking things with a grain of salt, not over exaggerating stuff will be favourable for this placement. also marriage may be full of discovery, always learning, always exploring. being in a good relationship with parent-in-law brings luck to the marriage so being in good terms with spouses parents may be very favourable for this placement and may bring lots of opportunities related to travel, fulfilment, study and spiritual growth. another thing with this placement is that jupiter being in its home house, this is very expanding and broadening in terms of their conscious mind, jupiter can guide the couple in marriage and incline their mental and astral growth. basically, marriage is spiritually guided by the higher energies, marriage was meant to happen in order for this placement to achieve and complete their mission of this physical realm.

spouse may have natal jupiter in sagittarius, 9th house, fire sign or fire house.

jupiter in 10th house: marriage may bring luck in image of this placement. the couple may find luck in their career, may get promotions, upgrades, bonuses, movement to higher position etc etc. jupiter here gives luck in other peoples view about you, the vast majority of people may have a different perception of you in a good way after marriage. also marriage may bring reputation to your image that expands your opportunities and respect from other people. also people may find you more serious after marriage. an honourable thing to keep in mind with this placement is that over a certain period of time, jupiter brings severe luck through hard work and determination for this placement during marriage, marriage may strengthen and jupiter offers its full expansion later in life in this marriage. this is also an indication of a very long lasting marriage, even a marriage that last until old age.

spouse may have natal jupiter in capricorn, 10th house, earth sign or earth house.

jupiter in 11th house: marriage may find luck in social gatherings, groups and outings. couple may face extreme luck on social media and technology, for example may have a successful social media platform or have extreme luck with technology, long-lasting, fast running and so forth. marriage may expand social groups also, this placement may find more accepting and understanding friends after marriage especially. may also find their true friend group after marriage. this placement may also experience growth in expressing themselves the way its most authentically true to themselves and being comfortable about it after marriage. this is also a placement that brings unplanned events and turns it into the most luckiest thing ever, this placement may find the most luck through spontaneous events, events that happen through spite for example getting calls from an old friend to go to a café the next day, that day turns out to be one of the best, or another example may be getting invited to an important event having only a short period of time of notice, when arriving at event you see people that are well known and receiving offers from them and so on.

spouse may have natal jupiter in aquarius, 11th house, air sign or air house.

jupiter in 12th house: this placement may have luck in spirituality, the couple may be spiritually guided by the universe and have luck overseas. for example when travelling pay just have the best luck ever and may feel complete when travelling long distances in general. this placement often brings luck when it comes to sleeping, for example you may be guided when in bed with your partner if that makes ant sense, like you may feel better you may sleep better and you may even dream better. marriage may bring luck in artistic areas of life for example having luck in being an artist, singer, model, teacher, poet, also tarot reader. this placement may get oversea recognition in these artistic areas. marriage may expand the mind to prioritise mindfulness in order to not fall into dangerous addiction tendencies so it is very important to find peace and a healthy coping mechanism through spirituality.

spouse may have natal jupiter in pisces, in 12th house, water sign or water house.

thanks so much for reading, have a nice day ahead!🌛⭐🌼

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chrollohearttags · 11 days

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settling in • a. artlert

moving into a new place with your fiancée and he has the perfect idea to get you two acquainted with it!

word count: 3.9K

pwp, black fem reader, nursing au plotline, lowkey filthy smut, spit play, he fucks reader in a chair, praise kink, squirting, oral (f. receiving) brief a eating (iykwim), fingering, creampie, full nelson, pet names + daddy is used.

it’s been forever and fifteen days since I’ve written for my pooh bear armeen (I lowkey missed him) and writing so here we are

── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.─── ── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* : ── ･｡ﾟ☆: *

“Is that it?”

“Yeah..looks like it was the last one. Finally.”

a heavy sigh of relief, along with a wave of pride came rushing over the twenty four year old as he faintly kicked the door shut and locked it behind himself and his beautiful bride to be. Carrying in the remaining boxes from a long and daunting move. It was a surreal moment to say the very least. Neither of you could believe that in just a few months, you’d be marrying the love of your life, with successful jobs and what seemed like a far off reality, now owning your place. A single family home with two bedrooms and two baths, a beautiful kitchen and everything that you could’ve ever wanted! If anyone had told you guys that this would be your future, you’d never believe them. It seemed like just yesterday, the two of you were partying and doing dumb, dangerous things. Now, (y/n) was working as a Human Resources manager and in the same hospital where your soon to be husband worked as a registered nurse. It was ideal in all the ways imaginable. Armin Artlert was always regarded as someone who was extremely intelligent with a good head on his shoulders. Someone who’d undoubtedly walk the straight and narrow..unfortunately, he veered from that path when he met you. Not so much that you dragged him down or deterred him from his goals, but you kept him good and preoccupied! Meeting for hookups when the both of you should have been studying. Him snatching you from class early just to smoke you out and have sex..it was very unbecoming of both of you and although you were both madly in love, it wasn’t enough and you made the heartbreaking decision to separate for a while. At least until your goals were met and you were both in a good place. Fast forward almost two years and your lives couldn’t be better. On the day of his nursing school graduation, Armin dropped to a knee in front of everyone and asked you to be his wife. He knew he couldn’t go a step further into his future unless you were right there beside him, to do it for eternity. And with bells, you accepted! Nearly ruining your makeup after his doting speech. Now, things were looking brighter than ever and you both had so much to look forward to. In both your personal lives and careers..

“…we really did it, huh?” The tears welled in your eyes at the uttering of the words. Truthfully, you were overcome with emotion. Especially because you’d never imagined this life for yourself..a wife, a career woman or homeowner. It felt like something you’d never even dreamed of and yet, you were thankful you’d crossed paths with this man. You loved Armin so much and you were so glad that there was no question, that he was all yours. And that this life? It was one that you were going to build together.

“Yes we did..and I’m so proud. Of both of us. I love you, (y/n).” Softly muttering with his hands cradling your own; pulling you closer towards him as he wrapped you in an embrace. “Hey angel..what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” It was inevitable, truly. You were always so emotional..so loving with a sensitive nature but he couldn’t understand why you’d be shedding tears at such a joyous occasion. Even so, he held you close and even swiped your tears away with tender kisses. “I’m sorry..I’m just so happy. ‘S all..” he didn’t hold it against you though. It was quite overwhelming to think about but right now, his focus was on celebration and enjoying your new space. Cradling you to his chest, your fiancé placed a kiss atop your head and cupped your face in his palms. “Well I am too. I love you so much, you know that right?” His cheeks flustered red and raised from ear to ear as he just examined you for a moment. You were so beautiful, he honestly couldn’t believe that he’d be spending the rest of his life, waking up next to this beautiful face. That gorgeous skin, those prominent yet delicate features. Everything about you made his heart flutter..

“I love you too, so much more..”

but alas, it wasn’t the only organ that you seemed to garner a reaction out of..whilst standing there; his frame towering slightly above your own, Armin couldn’t help but to ponder on those past memories. All of those wild nights together..the partying, the drinking and of course, the steamy, late night sexscapades you two partook in. It was truly the highlight of your week and now, you could do so whenever you wanted. Living under the same roof. For the time that he was away from you, Armin had spent many nights thinking of all the things he’d do once he got you back in his life. How he’d spoil you, how'd he cherish you, the way he’d make a conscious effort every single day to show his affection…and of course…

“Mm, is that so? You think you love me more?”

how he’d make love to you in a way that’d transcend all of the drunken, weed fueled sex you’d had in the past! This time was different, more intimate and far more special than all those times before. He wanted you to know that above all else, you were his number one priority.

“Yes I do..” smirking whilst a finger trailed down his chest and back up to his chin; chewing at your lower lip and glancing up at him. It wasn't hard to deduce what was on both of your minds at the moment. The teasing, the playful banter..it was all bound to lead to one thing.

“Well I don’t think that’s possible, babe. I mean…I could just show you how much I adore you…— just then, you’d feel his lips move to your neck and snake up to your ear, where he whispered. “But I don’t think you could handle that.” Still cradling you close. Meanwhile, his ink laden hands; decorated in beautiful tattoos, snakes around to your backside and squeezed it tightly. He’d been trying to contain himself all day but watching you strut about, carrying item after item into your new home, in nothing more than a thin tank top and shorts that had your plump ass swaying with each step. The way your soft skin absolutely flowed underneath the sunlight, almost as if you were some sort of deity, and his favorite…those perfectly round tits sitting up in that shirt. He had to exercise all of his restraint not to rip you out of it right there! But now, you were alone and nothing could stand in the way of it. Besides, what better way to break the new place in?!

“Oh trust, honey. I’m a big girl…I can take whatever you throw at me.” Alluding to much more suggestive things. “Good to know..” There was no need in beating around the bush so with that declaration, Armin roped those hands around the back of your neck as the gap between your bodies closed. It wasn’t long before you were snaking your tongues down each other’s throats, biting at the other’s lower lip and whimpering into the kiss. The teeming passion and unbridled lust that had been bubbling inside of you guys could no longer be sated. Eventually, you found yourselves, trying to rip each other out of your clothes and you’d subtly walk backwards until your calves were knocking against the new recliner..not even out of its plastic yet. (Y/N) took a seat and lowered Armin with you as your hand cradled the back of his head. He didn’t waste any time in teasing you as he was certain you’d become all flustered and just beg him relentlessly. He did however, pull away and tug your tank top down with him. Revealing those beautiful breasts and erect nipples. Those perfect brown buds quickly disappeared into his mouth and he’d suckle; whimpering out of pure pleasure.

“Mmmph..I definitely missed this..”

a look of deviation shrouded his face as he cupped your tits into his palms and ravaged them. “I can tell…mmm!..” He always did have a fixation on your chest and would get lost in foreplay alone. Licking, suckling and latching onto them as he fingered you slowly. Slender digits buried to the hilt inside of you..you’d be left a dripping puddle of cream by the time he finished.

“Put those legs up here for me…” instructing you to place your calves on either side of the chair arms and spread yourself open. To which you’d happily comply…ready to show him exactly how needy and desperate you were for things to escalate. “Thereee we go. God, I can’t wait to taste you..” eagerly rubbing your thighs and leaving a trail of kisses along the insides, even licking all around the skin, just to garner a reaction. He could tell by the way you chewed your finger, you were burning up with equal anticipation to have him devour you..so with those legs parted wide, Armin placed both palms flat into your skin and pinned you down, after removing your shorts and tugging that thong to the side. Part of him wanted to sit here and admire you and the other half just wanted to feast hungrily on this pretty cunt of yours. Dredging his fingertips slightly over the slick lined opening, he’d suck his teeth; grunting and moaning for you..

“This pussy’s so fucking fat..and pretty. And she’s so wet f’r me already…”

just doting on your sex as he peeled the hood of your clit back with his thumb pad to stroke it. Meanwhile, you were about to come undone from anticipation and teasing. Clutching your tits, (y/n) bit your lip once more and whimpered, all but begging him to quit stalling. “Baaabe. Please..” which did nothing more than rile him up even more and give him the deeper urge to mess with you. “What’s the matter? Something on your mind, gorgeous?” Which only earned him a flustered laugh and the cutest plea as you bucked your hips towards his face and against his fingers. Armin was notorious for making you wait and beg for it..something about watching you writhe and moan, begging for him to touch you just really turned him on. “C’mon, baby..if you want something, say it. I’ve got all night..” chuckling with that deviant, icy glare in his eyes. Those blue lens’ fixated on you with precision..he wasn’t moving until he heard the fateful words exit your lips and luckily for the both of you…it didn’t take long to crack!

“Mmmph…just eat my pussy, please..fuck I need it. Need you so bad..”

and with that declaration, Armin felt confident in giving you what you desired.

“Aw, is that it?…well why didn't you just say so, sweetheart?” Just then, with his gaze still very much fixated on his girl, the mischievous blonde slid one single digit inside of you as he watched your reaction shift..pleasure struck all over your face as he finally made contact with that entrance. It had admittedly been nearly a month since the two of you engaged in any sort of sexual activity. With this move, transitioning into new jobs and such, it barely left time for each other. Life hadn’t seemed to slow down at all. However, this was your chance to atone for that and best believe you were going to spend the rest of the night, up until the morning doing so. All in the comfort of your new home.. “You know I aim to please..” finally snaking his tongue out, Armin lapped it against your clit and began swirling it around those folds. Flicking it in and out, suckling and slurping…he didn’t hold back on his little feast. Meanwhile, that finger was still working your over to relieve that tightness. He’d add a second one eventually and pump that little hole while continuing to eat your pussy mercilessly. “Oh fuck…s’ good. Right there, baby..yes..” you’d claw at the unwrapped cushions but he’d instruct you to place your hands elsewhere, wanting you to guide him along for your pleasure. “Pull my hair, baby ... .put that shit in my face..” cursing under his breath as his ascent into your sex continued. Latching onto your clit, Armin suckled on it for a full minute whilst pumping those two digits in and out…by this time, a puddle had begun to form underneath your ass. The pearly shade adding such a beautiful contrast on your skin.

“You’re creaming already, babe? Ooh..you gotta save some for me..need to feel that.” Even so, Armin persisted and kept devouring that delicious cunt whilst your fingers snaked between his blonde tresses and tugged him along. Your head dangled back in pleasure as you cried out, pushing yourself into his face. He was so enamored with the way you reacted to him. The way it spasmed around those knuckles, the way you leaked even more, those sweet juices trickling down his chin, when he touched the tip of his tongue to your aching little bud and especially when he momentarily flicked himself around your other entrance and caused you to release another pretty whimper. “Somebody likes that..sticking my tongue in that pretty little asshole. I think you might come if I keep doing that.” Which made you both giggle. “Yeah..feels so fucking good though.” He’d pause for a brief moment, letting you both recuperate and that’s when you’d all but demand that he give you what you really needed. But not without a little persuasion, of course!

“What was that? You want what?”

“For you to fuck meee..”

drawing out your words in a flustered whine, jolting around as he stroked himself underneath, mocking and taunting your pleas. “To fuck you?” “Yesss, I need that dick so bad.” By this time, you were playing with yourself to quell your urges. Unable to wait for him to do so. “Aw, somebody’s needy today. Don’t worry, sweetheart. I’ll take care of you.” Reassuring you as he rose to his feet. Just then, Armin would lob a trail of spit in between your folds and simultaneously grasp the base of his cock, stroking upwards to get himself aroused. Which was already in play…between eating you out and those adorable whimpers, he was aching to sink himself inside of you. “Look what you did to me…fuck, you turn me on so much, baby..” crying out in that whiny yet sultry tone; sucking his teeth and glaring down at you as he aligned himself with your slit. Tapping that aching head against your entrance, Armin slowly but surely teased the tip right up against you. But alas, you were growing impatient. So with your legs spread wide, feet brushing his forearms and a direct view of both of your lower halves, you’d reach forward to help guide him..

“You gonna put it in for me?” Prompting you to nod and lick your lips as your flesh finally met. “Go ahead, beautiful. This is your dick, you use me how you want to..”

and with that, you’d feed that stiff, throbbing cock into you until it reached the halfway mark. The initial sensation caused both of you to erupt into loud groans and expletives..he was rather girthy despite his lanky stature but he certainly didn’t lack in size either..nearing around seven or so inches with round, plump balls. It was perfect..even so, you were still one and only weakness. He didn’t want to sit idle but he felt the second he began thrusting, his clock would proceed to tick as well..fearful that he may not last as long as he’d hope for. “Fuck, fuck…you’re so tight, angel.” Gripping the back of his chair, he’d attempt to regain his balance and establish a rhythm. Pounding slowly into you whilst not making direct eye contact. That would only shorten his stamina if anything..seeing that pretty face while he was in it? He’d fill you up on the spot.

“I remember when we first started having sex and I couldn’t last more than two minutes with you..” recollecting on your past hookups. Which prompted you both to laugh. Granted, you had only been with two other people prior to Armin, with one night stands but they were never memorable. Lasted all of ten minutes before you dipped..but with him? You could never forget it. Whether it was him being flustered and nervous because you felt way too good. So much so that he came in less than five minutes and was so embarrassed about it. But you thought it was adorable, actually. He was so doting, gentle and made sure you were okay the entire time. You two took the time to actually learn and explore one another’s bodies. Touching, massaging and even masturbating together..it was that sensuality that made it all the more special.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing…and you were the only one to ever make me come that hard.” Doting on your man as he slid in and out of you. (Y/N) slowly stroked your clit to match his pace, rolling those fingertips on that sensitive bud..

“And you stretch me out so fucking good, baby..mm, that dick feels so good..” “..yeah? Feel good, sweetheart? Like the way I’m fucking this little pussy?”

your encouragement seemed to incite something inside of him..just then, you’d feel those strokes get deeper and a tad bit faster. Jolting you around and making those perky titties away with each one. He still had his hands planted to the back of the chair but he was finally able to make eye contact with his beloved and when he saw your expressions, he just became more enthused to fuck you! He’d then snake the free hand around your throat and choke you slightly as he cooed to you. “It feels good when I’m pounding you, baby? Making that shit cream on me?..” Naturally, he knew the response just by your body language and enjoyed hearing you answer with soft whimpers and cries.

“Yes daddy, oh my gosh! You’re fucking me so good right now…’m gonna come.”

which he knew was no fake out. He could feel that grip tightening more and more by the second. And if that wasn’t any indication, the way you were smacking at his now exposed abs as he tucked the tail end of his shirt between his teeth, was more than enough. “Ooh, I know you do, angel. I can feel how close you are..you’re squeezing me. Tell me, are you gonna give me what I want?” Questioning as that clutched hand brought a thumb up to your soft lips, allowing you to suckle. You knew exactly what he was alluding to and truthfully, he had no other choice..you were prepared to let it all go for him. Whatever he desired..replacing that thumb pad with his own lips, Armin fed you a couple of sloppy kisses, before asking you once more and when you responded accordingly, all but begging him as he sped up again, he’d give you his permission and command..

“That’s all I needed to hear…come, now..” needless to say, he was not disappointed with the result. He’d meet you with as many strokes as possible, letting out tiny spurts of the sweet nectar until you’d all but push him out and squirt all over the place. Armin couldn’t help but to be overcome with excitement as he watched you make a giant mess because of him.

“That’s what I’m talking about, baby..come on this dick..fuuuck yes.” Meanwhile, you were trembling as the remnants of those juices exited your body and you were left trembling from the sensation. Yet you found yourself longing for more and it took your fiancé no time to notice. Leaning forward, he’d cup your face and swish his tongue around in your mouth. But even that wasn’t enough to sate his appetite for you. Because just when you thought he was about to reach that climatic peak along with you, you were in for another surprise. Coiling those legs tightly around his firearms, Armin tugged you closer and instructed you to grab him. “Wrap your arms around me, baby. Hold on.” With that, you found yourself hoisted midair and propelled onto his cock. The sensation is just as equally warming and comforting as the first time…he’d become a lot stronger than the Armin you met in highschool. A lot more muscular and a hell of a lot more confident..

“I swear I’ll never get tired of fucking you..feels so good every time I’m inside of you…don’t even wanna pull out..” as he thrusted and bucked his hips upward into you, he’d rattle off and sing your praises. You were reaching your breaking point but you couldn’t stop glaring into his eyes. Wanting to reach that peak together..needing to watch his reactions. You were fixated, obsessed with one another..madly in love. And you were going to consummate that very love in your new home. “Kiss me..kiss me while I come in that pretty pussy..please..” all but begging as your lower halves smacked together in a sticky sheath. Flailing your head back, (y/n) cried out and clawed your nails into his neck, begging for all he had whilst hammering into that tight cunt. “Just like that, Armin! Right there, baby..” Your tongues clashed in a heated twist of passion and before long…

“Oh fuck..oh fuck..I’m coming, baby..” he couldn’t contain himself any longer and those thrusts became sporadic, a lot more uncontrollable and before long, he was pouring every drop of that warm seed into your womb. Tugging you down and keeping you in place until he couldn’t spill another drop. You’d both release ear shattering cries, laced with passionate ‘I love you’s’ as you rode out those orgasms in unity. It was certainly a night that neither of you would ever forget.

“I’m so happy I get to do this for the rest of my life with you..and to call you my wife.”

Chuckling as the two of you engaged in tender kisses. Letting your bodies become enraptured in the moment. Finally allowing it all to sink in..

“Yeah, you’re stuck with me..get used to it.”

“And I wouldn’t want it any other way. Who else is going to be

From mere strangers to absolute lovers, hooking up to coming home together.. it was funny how life worked…years ago, you’d never imagined that this would be your future. But now? You couldn’t picture a world where this man was not a part of it. You’d cherish this night, this moment and the beautiful ones to come, as long as he was by your side.

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lambentplume · 9 months

Text

Maui Fires & How to Support Relief Efforts

(Posted on 8/10/23) Hi, I'm Jae and my family is from Lāhainā. I watched my hometown burn down this week. The fires caused immeasurable loss in my community so I'd like to spread awareness of the situation as well as provide links to support local organizations directly assisting survivors. I'm pretty sure most of my following is Not local so I'm writing with intent to inform people outside the situation, but if you're reading this and happen to have family in the affected area that isn't accounted for, message me and I can send you the links to the missing persons tracking docs + more localized info!! If you'd like to skip down to how to help and follow community organizations, scroll to the bottom of the post after the image.

Earlier this week, Hurricane Dora passed south of the Hawaiian Islands, bringing strong wind gusts that caused property damage across the islands. On Tuesday August 8, high winds caused sparks to fly in the middle of Lāhainā town, knocking out power lines and immediately igniting drought-ridden grasses. The fire spread quickly and destroyed the entire center of town, the harbor, and multiple neighborhoods including Hawaiian Homes (housing specifically for Native Hawaiians), parts of Lahainaluna, basically all of Front Street, and low-income housing units. There is only one public road in and out of town, and after a very hectic evacuation period that road has been mostly closed off except to emergency responders, thus it is extremely difficult for anyone to leave town to get help. The nearest hospital is 20 miles away in Wailuku, and most grocery stores in town have burnt down.

As of Thursday, August 10, over 1,000 acres have been burned and 271 structures (including homes, schools, and other community gathering places) have been destroyed. Cell service is still extremely spotty, many of the surrounding neighborhoods deemed safe for evacuees are still without utilities. There are currently confirmed 53 deaths but that number is expected to increase as search-and-rescue efforts continue. Countless families have been displaced and many have lost the homes they lived in for generations. Places of deep historical significance have been reduced to ash, including the gravesites of Hawaiian royalty, the old Lāhainā courthouse where items of cultural significance were stored, and Na ‘Aikane o Maui Cultural Center. To add further context: Lāhainā has a population of about 13,000 residents. EVERYONE I know has been impacted in some way--at best forced to evacuate, at worst their house was burnt to the foundation, they cannot find a loved one, etc. I'm still trying to track down family members and it's been over two days. My neighbors down the street had homes last week and now many don't have ANYTHING. The hotels are taking in residents (tourists are also being STRONGLY urged to leave so that locals can recover). Without open access to the rest of the island, Lāhainā residents are now dependent on whatever people had in their homes already as well as disaster relief efforts coming in, but it's been difficult to organize and mobilize due to the location + conditions. People who have made it out are in shelters where no blankets or medicine were provided. Friends and acquaintances from neighbor islands are preparing aid to send over. Community response has been incredible, but the toll on the town has been immeasurable. My parents were desperately walking through town yesterday, my mom sounded absolutely hollow talking about it on the phone with me. It's horrifying. Below is a satellite map with data from the NASA Fire Information for Resource Management System showing the impacted areas from the past week; all of the red blotches were on fire at some point in the last three days.

Here are ways you can help:

If you have the means to donate:

Here are three donation sites verified by Maui Rapid Response, which also lists FAQs for people who are wondering about next steps.

Hawaiʻi Community Foundation - Maui Strong Fund accepts international credit cards. Maui United Way

Maui Mutual Aid Non-monetary ways to support:

If you know anyone who is planning to travel to ANY Hawaiian island, not just Maui, tell them to cancel their trip. Resources are extremely limited as is. Advocate for climate change mitigation efforts locally, wherever that is for you. The fire was exacerbated by drought conditions that have worsened due to climate change.

Lastly, remember that these are people's HOMES that burned, and Native Hawaiian cultural artifacts that have been lost. Stop thinking of Hawaiʻi (or any "tourist destination" location, really) as an "escape" or a "paradise." If that's the only way you recognized my home... I'm glad I got your attention somehow, but I would ask that you challenge that perspective and prioritize local and native voices. For transparency, I don't currently live in Lāhainā, I've been following efforts from Honolulu. My parents and brother have been updating me and I've been following friends and family who are doing immediate response work. I'm doing my best to find reliable and current sources, but if I need to update something, please let me know. If you're going to try to convince me that tourism is necessary for our recovery, news flash ***IT'S NOT***!

Thanks for reading.

#please feel free to reblog! i don't know how tagging works here anymore!#maui fires #officially reported death count increased WHILE I WAS WRITING THE POST btw. this is bonkers.#if you want to start tourism discourse in my inbox you have to donate the cost of a plane ticket and send a screenshot to me #i have sources at the ready btw. i'd say don't try me but i mean my hometown could use a couple hundred bucks!!

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becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys · 7 months

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I realise you're HE, but any thoughts on how high school level education should be run/changed/etc? I'd love to know your views!

Oh sure, plenty, but they're not particularly informed lol

Well; Wales is actually massively and fundamentally changing secondary education atm, but we won't be getting students from it until the year after next, I think, so no real comment on effectiveness yet - but it's very interesting. They're getting rid of isolated subjects in favour of broad umbrella areas, as I understand it? So there's now Science and Technology (Physics, Biology, Chemistry, Computing, and all the various DT subjects like Woodwork, Electronics, Cookery, etc), Maths and Numeracy, Humanities (History, Geography, Ethics, Religion), Languages Literacy and Communication, and Health and Wellbeing (actually maybe Cookery comes under this one now? Dunno.) And there's a sixth to do with arts but I can't remember what it's called. But it includes Art, Drama, Media Studies, etc.

And then the idea is that a class will learn about a given topic at a time (I don't know for how long, so let's say six weeks), and this will be taught in each of those six umbrellas but via their own methods. So like... I dunno, let's say the Tudors:

That's fairly straightforward for Humanities, but in addition to giving you the historical facts you'd also explore historic trade routes and natural resources of the time and how they related to the politics (geography), the religious make up of the country and how THAT related to the politics (religion), etc.

Maths and Numeracy might explore how to use statistics to analyse Tudor era population or trade data.

Science and Tech could look at disease outbreaks and virology, or technological advancements and how they worked and get students to build one, or get students to construct a Tudor-era town using computer software

Languages can study plays from the era (Shakespeare), look at linguistic development, or use historical events as talking points to practice using vocab in conversations

Health and Wellbeing can explore stressors and challenges of the average Medieval peasant and how they overcame them, or play some popular Tudor sport or game, or make food to Tudor recipes, etc

The Arts one (god I cannot remember the name) can look at art history of the period, fashions, perform plays, etc

So everyone is still teaching the skills and knowledge of their subject areas, they're just united by one big case study. It apparently allows for far more integrated teaching, too, where two previously discrete subjects can join forces on a project.

All of which seems pretty good, on the whole, but also rife with issues if everyone isn't careful, so we'll see how it shakes out over the next few years.

From my own experiences of school though. Jesus. Something definitely needed to happen, fuck me.

What I should have learned in Textiles:

How to use a sewing machine

How to sew by hand to mend a tear

How to darn a hole

How to hem, dart, take in, and let out clothes

How to sew from a pattern

What I actually learned in Textiles:

How to use a sewing machine on its most basic setting

How to phone in creating a hand puppet out of felt because gluing was easier than sewing

How to badly sew an extremely makeshift and shit bag out of scrap fabric that you in no way want to then use

How to lose all interest in Textiles because it was useless and uninteresting

Like that is a VITAL skillset-imparting subject, and they fucked it, lads, they completely fucked it. Why did they never set us the task of buying a cheap shirt from a charity shop that we then amended in class? That would have been so useful.

Games and PE! Fucking hell! Here's what I should have learned:

How to stretch my body safely to target specific muscle groups, and in particular, how to cultivate a daily stretching routine I enjoyed and wanted to do

How to find a physical activity active enough to get me out of breath that I genuinely enjoyed, so that I wanted to continue it, e.g. salsa dancing or rope climbing or ice skating or hill climbing or assault courses or fucking anything at all

How to build my body up to doing particular activities safely and sustainably

How to find a physical activity to do on wet, cold, rainy days that would still be fun and I would still enjoy

Here's what I actually learned:

Physical activity is always uncomfortable and miserable and sometimes even painful

If you aren't enjoying running around in the wind and rain instead of the indoor gym The Problem Is You. Start Enjoying It.

Wanting to stay warm and dry and comfortable is a punishable choice.

You are only permitted to do physical activity in clothes that make you feel profoundly exposed and uncomfortable (a gym skirt and gym knickers in my school. Cycling shorts got you detention. Don't get me started on jogging bottoms.) Again, if you do not enjoy this, The Problem Is You. Start Enjoying It.

There are only three activity options. If you don't enjoy any of them, physical activity is not for you.

You should be able to Just Do physical exercise, without any training to build you up to it. If you can't and it hurts, this is because you're Bad At PE.

You will only be shown Once

Physical activity is only ever a team sport that you aren't good enough to be willingly picked for

LIKE WHAT THE FUCK

And you know what, LET'S round off with Food Technology/Cookery. Because I remember the things I was asked to make in FT. As a little baby Year 7, I still vividly remember two of the things we made.

Angel Delight. Easy, you might say! A simple treat, you might think! Easing the children into food prep, I hear you cry! But no, because the theme of the year was healthy eating, and so we were to add fruit to our Angel Delight. Any flavour Angel Delight, any fruit. Off you go. I don't know if any of you have encountered fruit, Tumblrs, but it famously has faintly acidic juice. This will prevent the Angel Delight from setting within the one hour lesson, no matter how well you mixed the pudding, or how quickly you got it into the fridge. It will result in soggy gross lumps of oxidising fruit in sloppy liquid pudding. Lesson learned: fruit makes food worse.

Cake. Easyish, you might say! A little harder than the Angel Delight but good training, you might think! A fairly straightforward process with a child-friendly food at the end, I hear you cry! But no, because the theme of the year was still healthy eating, so the teachers made it into an experiment; make four small cakes. One with sugar, one with sweetener, one with apple, and one with carrot. Then taste them and rank them in order. Off you go. I don't know if any of you have ever tried eating sugarless carrot cake, Tumblrs, but I have, and I can tell you categorically that it really puts the "Did you know" into the phrase "Did you know that fructose and sucrose are not actually equivalents of each other in a culinary setting?" It was rancid. It was disgusting. It was vile. It made me hate carrot cake for the next 12 years, in case my mouth had to go through that ordeal again. I'm still highly suspicious of the stuff even now. To (I assume) the surprise of fuck-damned no one, we unanimously put them in the order of sugar, sweetener, apple, carrot. Lesson learned: FRUIT MAKES FOOD WORSE AND CARROTS ARE ACTIVELY DISGUSTING

What possessed them?! No idea. Fucking hell.

Anyway this is getting long and I am still ill-informed. Peace out.

#asks #education

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 3 months

Note

AITA for trying to block evade?

This happened several years ago, so I'll put the ages that we were at the time.

I [17F at the time], had an extremely close friend [17F] of 3+ years, and I still haven't found any kind of friendship that came close to the level of trust / openness that was there. So some of this backstory ranges from 14yrs to 17yrs.

My home was abusive, and she and her mom helped me figure out what was rational vs irrational, normal vs not normal, and pointing out local resources to get help - which was absolutely amazing and I could not thank them enough.

She invited me to her house pretty regularly, a couple times a week. We'd have hours of skype calls. She got me roped into Undertale & the fandom. Well, not that we really interacted with the fandom at large. We only publically posted some of the art and barely got noticed haha. Between the two of us, we had something like 26 AUs and had a lot of rp with multiverse shenanigans - like over 1200+ pages of google docs rp, because that's where we did like 90% of it. After we hit like 100-200 pages, we'd make a new doc so it wouldn't take so long to load. And we had like, at least like 9 docs I think. I was mostly in it for her, because it was really fun to just make up stories together. I could've done it with any fandom she threw at me, undertale is just the one that was popular at the time.

At one point, I think when we were around 16, I asked her if she wanted to start dating. She said something along the lines of maybe in the future, but not right now - she wanted to focus on school. Even though she declined at the time, she did say she appreciated me asking and that it meant a lot to her. And there were 0 hard feelings about the answer, we just kept on going the way we were going.

She got hit with a really bad level of depression, and stopped coming to school. After 2-3 days, I started calling her every day around lunch time just to check in on her and see how she was doing. See if there was anything I could do to help - bring some snacks, catch her up on classwork for the couple classes we shared, stuff like that. This was for couple months. More than just a mental health day, and the only reason she gave was Depression.

After a week or two of the daily calls, there was probably an aspect of toxic positivity on my end. Like "You gotta Do Something to avoid being trapped in your misery, even if it's just baby steps like sitting outside on the porch or going on a walk down the block" Not maliciously, but more out of not knowing how to handle a situation like this & genuinely wanting to help her because of all the help she's offered me in the past & fueled a little bit by fear because Depresssion is the excuse that my abusive parents used to justify their shitty behavior & neglect. Not because I was afraid of what she'd do to me, but more what she'd do to herself. That's one of the only things I could think where I went wrong, which I completely acknowledge and understand now.

She was still inviting me to her house, and we were still doing our normal thing there. Drawing and writing stories together.

After 4-5 weeks [? estimate, time is an illusion] of her not showing up to school, I can't remember if I asked if it was helpful or if she suggested that I stop calling every day. Calling every day was making her feel worse.

I did end up calling the next day or two at lunch - crossing the boundary was not my intent. We had planned to hang out on the weekend again, lunch is just when I remembered & had time to call to ask if she still wanted to hang out or if she wanted some space. I think she said yes to hanging out, didn't mention anything about crossing the boundary. Same with the next day - there was something I needed to ask clarification on, it wasn't a check in, nothing was mentioned of the boundary. I can't remember what it was now. This is another one of the places where I think I went wrong, which I acknowledge & understand.

I did stop the check ins like requested though. After those two off days, I did stop calling her every day at lunch.

She finished out the school year having shown up to class maybe 3ish times, I think.

Again, we were still hanging out regularly. There was no indication that I was doing anything wrong, there was no indication that anything I was doing was wrong. She was still the one inviting me to hang out at least half the time.

There were some problems that I was noticing that I just wanted to have a casual chat about and figure out, but she kept pushing it off as a "I don't have the energy right now, we can talk about it later" and we'd go back to the fun things. I don't really remember what those problems were.

In the summer, I went to a different state to visit my older sister that I hadn't seen in years. I talked to her about it, I was excited for it. We were still chatting regularly during my trip over skype or discord.

And then, during my trip that I was so excited about, she drops this bombshell. She sends me several massive messages detailing out a bullet point list of everything I've done wrong, that she's explicitly breaking off the friendship, and blocks me. 95% of things on that list either flat weren't true, or gross misunderstandings of what happened.

It was genuinely horrible things too.

For example, one of the things on the list was "Suicide baiting" or "Suicide guilt tripping" or something along those lines, which had happened several months if not a year before this. -I've only ever communicated feeling acutely suicidal to her 1 time. -Long before that, she made me promise that if I ever felt suicidal that I was supposed to immediately talk to her about it, for her own peace of mind so she wouldn't worry about me. -I reached a point of feeling acutely suicidal due to abuse at home & general existential dread, that happened to be during a time we had an issue.

I purposefully waited until after the issue was resolved, like 2 weeks, before telling her. I did that specifically so it would not be taken as a guilt trip or a form of coercion while still holding as true as I could to my promise. She made me promise to tell her, it was something very important to her. I made very clear to say "this is something I experienced a couple weeks ago due to unrelated things, it is resolved now, I got help through xyz means and genuinely feel better. You made me promise to tell you so I am telling you, I didn't want to say anything while we were having a problem for xyz reason." I just wanted to talk, and clear up the misunderstandings. I wanted to have a good conversation about figuring out where the communication went wrong, try and figure out how she came to these conclusions, and how that differs from my point of view. Do something to work it out, and just talk about it, and try and salvage this 3+ year friendship.

After I realized I was blocked, I was going through so so many emotions all at once. The whiplash of going from 5 to 100, Upset that I wasn't given any sort of chance to explain, the 5 stages of grief, being thrown away like the gum off your shoe, worrying about her and if this was the stage of isolation for depression, holding out the hope that we could still just talk and work things out, angry that she kept pushing off and refusing to have any sort of serious talk before this, doubting if anything she had said on 'normal vs not normal' - particularly communication styles, thoughts that maybe she was abusive and manipulative all along, maybe I was continuing the cycle of abuse, trauma flashbacks, anxieties that I had since squashed as 'irrational', fear that this was a sign that she was about to fucking kill herself and maybe the whole list was a lie so I wouldn't try and reach out and stop her, doubting my own reality and maybe the entire list she sent me was true and she was justified in her actions.

Simultaneously trying to process intense feelings and realities if it was true and I'm really secretly a horrible monster, if it wasn't true and she was about to die, and old traumas getting dug out of the grave.

God I was such an emotional wreck and did not know how to process or understand anything that was happening.

This is where the AITA comes in -

I was pushing through back to back panic attacks trying to contact her and figure out what was going on. I didn't want her to die, if that's what was happening. I didn't want to be discarded and thrown away like a piece of trash, if that's what was happening. I didn't want to have 0 chance of learning & growing as a person even if this friendship wasn't salvageable due to my monstrous nature, if that's what was happening.

So I block evaded like fckn crazy. Gmail, pet game sites, discord, skype, deviantart, whatever online platform that we shared that had messaging enabled. I called her phone several times. On the 3-4th call, her mom picked up and told me that none of the above was true. That she wasn't about to die, that I wasn't being thrown away like trash, and that I wasn't a monster. She didn't agree with her daughters actions and thought it unfair to me, but ultimately it was my friend's choice. All simultaneously which just did not compute.

If the list she sent me was true, I was a shitty horrible person. If it wasn't, and she isn't about to die, then not be able to just have a calm sit-down conversation at some point about it and clear it up - if I wasn't worth even attempting to make that effort then I was being thrown away like trash. I kept trying for days afterwards to talk to her - just, anything at all. Nothing got through, she never responded to anything.

And... that was that.

I didn't have a chance to talk to her again. I didn't have a chance to clear up misunderstandings, or understand what I did actually wrong and where, or any sort of closure.

Sometimes if I'm remembering it and feeling paranoid, I'll check and see if she's alive by looking at her online profiles for any activity. Like, maybe once a year tops now. According to the petgame sites, she's still alive at least. I'm assuming she got new social media. Literally it's just a "is she alive, do I have to worry about causing her suicide" check, I don't stalk or look into anything further than that.

Anyway, AITA for how extensively & desperately I was block evading?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #suicide cw

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ranticore · 2 months

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Two shortwing rival academics and a lil bit about spire culture

The East North Spire (or honestly just 'Spire', people will know what you mean) is the most densely populated location on the planet. It consists of the remains of one of the largest old telecommunications spires on a cliff. The sea around here is shallow and dense with reedbeds which can be used to make building material. Wood (or an alien equivalent) doesn't exist on Siren so reeds make up most permanent and impermanent structures, as well as providing the pulp with which to make paper and the extremely light reedsilk clothing that harpies wear.

Being surrounded by abundant natural resources as well as being an area with relatively mixed water year-round, so good fishing opportunities, the spire was an obvious choice to build on. The structure of the spire is made of woven reed platforms and silk tents attached to the main trunk, but over the years it has grown immensely wide and complex. People might liken its appearance to a giant multicoloured tree if they knew what a tree was. The structure extends down the cliff-face all the way to the water, where it expands into a dense network of docks and pontoons which has become something of a globlal shipping hub.

The spire is mostly famous for its strict occupation-based culture and honorifics system, which I originally scribbled down on a drawing of Qedivar and Terwy in ramble form, but it's important to understand that these names are cultural and geographical so not limited to harpies.

This is the first pass of the naming system so it's likely outdated lol.

Anyway what started as a collection of craft guilds at the spire transformed over centuries into the world's only institute of higher learning. It is mostly a gigantic and deeply bureaucratic university, the headmaster of which is the highest authority in the entire city.

The culture at the spire is loud. Open debate, arguments, and outright fights are encouraged as a way to clear the air and avoid any simmering tension building up between aggrieved parties. Holding a grudge is considered physically bad for your health, worse than any consequences of a heated debate or quick scuffle (drawing blood is where this acceptance of fighting ends, however). The population density is ludicrous, especially in the shortwing bowers where you'd be lucky to have a wingspan's worth of space to yourself, so it's in their best interests to become very good at managing conflict as early as possible. There is no concept of romantic relationships as a separate phenomenon to platonic relationships here and the potential for gigantic nightmarish polycules to develop is almost guaranteed, but a comparatively small societal weight is placed on sex and intimacy, it's just a thing you do with your friends and that's about it, you won't get any institution of marriage though it is possible (rare) for a pair to be exclusive.

There are no blood ties or familial bonds among inhabitants of the spire. There are differing gestation periods & nurseries based on body type, but among the shortwings, who are the most numerous and have very short gestation periods, nursery duty is pretty much like jury duty. Everybody gets called out to the nursery every couple of years to do early infant care, once the birthing parent is no longer needed (at time of weaning usually). The infants are communally raised and when they're old enough to learn they get shuffled immediately off to school where they will remain until age 12 or so when they pick their main topic of study, or a craft apprenticeship. Then their fellow students or guild masters are considered to be their true families.

The culture is frequently xenophobic against basically everyone else; it's got Big City disease where everyone living outside may as well not exist, and other places are far less important. Particular negative consideration is given to people from the Western continent who are thought of as just inherently dumber for not having any great institutions of learning, with the notable exception of the visored harpies. There's also a strongly ableist element in the spire, those not considered smart enough or not fit enough to work a craft are practically second class citizens.

Qedivar and Amivar (-var suffix indicating a scholar working on a theory) share a bower, they're on-again-off-again frenemies due to the fact that the two of them are working on very different theories on the origin of people. Amivar has proposed a theory of evolution, which is partially wrong where the humans are concerned (as they were intentionally designed but have experienced natural selection since) and correct for all other life on Siren (which did evolve), and Qedivar believes the Precursors were similar to gods who magicked the entire planet into being and then populated it with distinct groups of people. Both theories have some merit but really all they've achieved is endless debates and fights, until a particularly harsh defeat at Qedivar's grant application causes our pal Qedivar to decide to set out to prove his theory right by any means necessary, with a budget of almost zero.

While Qedivar travels to the Western continent to learn the heretical truth (which is that he was wrong and they're all just Human aliens), Amivar stays behind. He continues his work, but when the ministry of knowledge at the spire comes knocking to demand to know Qedivar's whereabouts, he's faced with a tough choice - sell Qedivar out and reveal his location, thus potentially getting a really nice research grant in return for his evolution theory which has proven very unpopular, or cover for him and, in doing so, implicitly accept the unacceptable truth of what his colleague has uncovered. I had a lot of fun thinking over Amivar and his actions in these circumstances, in a situation where where so much hinges on pride and self-advocacy... a look at the guy who has to stay behind and deal with the consequences of someone else's grand adventure (as well as the ministry of knowledge threatening to disappear him).

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chronicbitchsyndrome · 11 months

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i feel like before you complain about how "former gifted kids are always acting like they're oppressed because everyone doesn't treat them like they're special anymore," i think you should probably try to understand the common timeline that a kid getting funneled into the gifted program follows.

usually, a child starts getting funneled into gifted tracks around preschool-to-kindergarten. typically, what will happen is a kid will show socially unusual interest in and affinity for a basic life skill that also happens to be taught in school--usually either verbality, reading/writing, understanding and manipulating shapes, or basic numerical concepts, or some combination of the above. they might start talking fairly early, for example, or start reading complete sentences earlier than their peers, or show a lot of unusual interest in basic arithmetic. they might get IQ tested, they might not; this is pretty irrelevant because IQ both has almost no correlation with any measure of "intelligence" other than the IQ test itself, and is an extremely poor predictor of academic success.

based on this, the parents are encouraged to push this child into academic settings earlier and at a faster pace than their peers. once in grade school, they'll be funneled into the gifted track. often, they'll have to "test in" to the gifted track, but they tend to weight what the kid is showing an affinity for the most when "testing in." what the gifted track looks like is different for every school, but generally the common factors are more work, assigned at a faster pace, and dealing with concepts that their "typical" peers are not taught until a year or more later.

this is where the most common timeline becomes important, and diverges from what i think a lot of people's perceptions of gifted kids are. the kid fails. the kid does not have some kind of magical universal affinity for every aspect of academia. in fact, the kid has, in the context of their neurotypical peers setting the standard by which they have to live up to, significant deficits in areas other than the one they showed interest in at a young age. for example, maybe they started reading incredibly early, but once they get to grade school, they start failing every math test. they write numbers backwards and copy them from the board in the wrong order. they get basic arithmetic wrong.

here's the thing: the gifted kid program accidentally self-selects for developmentally disabled children with academic splinter skills. splinter skills are incredibly common in people with developmental disabilities; frequently, they don't get perceived as such because they're very often completely nonacademic (and may not be perceived as a "skill" at all, particularly in the context of more profound developmental disabilities--someone learning to use AAC very quickly, for example, is still perceived as a deficit no matter how quickly they do it, instead of a skill in developing communication methods with significantly less support and interaction than those who learn to communicate verbally). developmentally disabled people with academic splinter skills are significantly more common than abled people with an uncommon affinity for all areas of academia, or abled people with splinter skills.

once a kid starts failing, generally the timeline splits off into two possibilities, mostly dependent on how supportive their parents are, how well-funded their school is, and what psychiatric resources are available in their area of the country. option one is that they just keep failing, and get punished more and more violently over time for their perceived "stubbornness." they are perceived as obviously capable of doing the work the gifted program is assigning them, since they were tracked into the gifted program to begin with, and their grades in this other specific subject are stellar, so obviously they're just lazy and need to be whipped into shape via punishment.

the other option is that the kid's developmental disability is clocked by a teacher or counselor, or even their parents, and enough strings are pulled to get them evaluated by a school psychologist. then, they'll get dual-tracked into the gifted program and the special ed program, with classes divided along where their splinter skills and deficits lie. the special ed program is not actually a good place for disabled children and is incredibly traumatizing to be in.

either way, they come out of school with a significant amount of trauma. legitimate trauma. from being a disabled person in the public education system, which fucking sucks and is an awful experience i wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

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writing-intheundercroft · 8 months

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Sallow Family Headcanons

Solomon is the elder Sallow brother, and had to look after his younger brother when their parents died. His bitterness lingers as he raises Anne and Sebastian.

Mrs. Sallow was a Ravenclaw. She and Mr. Sallow, Slytherin's top student, were academic rivals until they decided to put their differences aside and start courting during their seventh year.

Mr. and Mrs. Sallow get married right out of Hogwarts, against Solomon's wishes. The twins are born just two years later.

Anne is the elder twin but smaller, lean like her father. Sebastian is younger but is a larger baby, and inherited his freckles and cherub-like cheeks from his mother.

Solomon begged Mr. and Mrs. Sallow to settle down and move home to Feldcroft to provide stability for the children, but they wouldn't let two babies stop their adventures. The twins were well traveled, toted around Europe with their parents on their research trips.

That was until the twins start walking. Sebastian was a runner from the get go, and after a particularly disastrous trip in Paris where his magic manifests in front of muggles, the Sallows finally settled down in London to teach secondary education through the ministry.

Despite having to answer to the ministry over Sebastian's public outburst, Mr. Sallow was extremely proud that his son's magic had manifested at such a young age. Anne was not far behind him and Mr. Sallow declared his children to be prodigies.

Mr. and Mrs. Sallow constantly debated whether their kids would be in Slytherin or Ravenclaw; Anne and Sebastian both end up being hat stalls during their sorting ceremony (the hat took just ten seconds longer to decide on Anne, and she doesn't let Sebastian forget it). It is Anne's resourcefulness and Sebastian's ambition that tips the scales in Slytherin's favor.

A/N: I love the idea of Anne being superior to Sebastian when she was well and in school, and will continue that theme in future headcanons hehe

#hogwarts legacy #I've spent too much time thinking about this #sebastian sallow headcanons #sebastian sallow #anne sallow #sallow twins #academic rivals to lovers is my favorite trope

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mvltisstuff · 11 months

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Hi! I was wondering if could do an Eddie Diaz request.

eddie meets reader at a hospital when the 118 drop a victim off because she’s a doctor there. she’s a new attending and as he comes more and more they get closer with each visit and she asks him out. they’ve been dating a few months when the hospital goes on lockdown and he gets a call from the reader. she’s crying as she says her goodbyes and that’s all i can think of but happy ending please 🥺😁

falling in reverse - e.d

summary: request

eddie diaz x reader

a/n: this got pretty deep… this is also inspired by the hospital shooting episodes of greys anatomy, which were written so well. please note this and decide if you want to continue because this is not just something that happens in tv. it’s talked about in the media but there is not nearly enough change that needs to be happening. be aware of the resources in your area and stay. educated. thank you for the request, love 🩶

the whole team arrives back to the station after a quick call. bobby came out of the passengers seat as everyone else came out of the back, putting their gear back up and heading upstairs. eddie runs his hands back down his pockets, checking to make sure the small box was still inside. he opens it up and is bombarded with the shine of the bright diamond that is sat inside the velvet.

he smiles at the thought of it, finally being ready to say those 4 quick, but massive words. he’s been preparing himself and even christopher, and he decided he was ready. there’s no one he wants more than y/n. he completely cherished her inside and out, making sure to admire every single part of her. every time he thought about her the butterflies fluttered in his stomach like he was back in middle school. he couldn’t imagine a more perfect outcome than her being in his arms every night. eddie has struggled immensely with relationships and connections after losing shannon, feeling like everything he touches just disintegrates through his fingers. he knew the first time he saw her that it wasn’t just quick fling, it was intensely love swimming over him.

eddie sped through the streets to pull up the the ER entrance with his, hens, and chimneys patient in the back. he had been severely bleeding from his abdomen and had to be extracted from a burning workplace.

eddie turned the sirens off, climbed out the drivers seat, and yanked open the back doors of the ambulance. he unlocked the wheels of the gurney and helped to pull it down. the flood of nurses came rushing out along with several different doctors in trauma scrubs.

one doctor came following out, pulling her hair back and tying it up as she slid her blue gloves on. “what do we got?” she asks.

“tyler rodrigues, male, 32,” eddie starts saying. “probable internal bleeding and third degree burns on lower extremities, BPs stable.

“alright, get him into trauma two, page plastics and ortho, sanchez, get that ultrasound up and running immediately!” she says, handing out demands to the interns in different colored scrubs.

eddie definitely is not the type of guy to take an interest of someone when he’s working or worse- when they’re both working. but the way she handled herself and the way she spoke to those patients had him in a trance. she was also beautiful, her hair fell perfectly around her face and she moved around so gracefully.

she walked out of the sliding doors of the trauma room, discarding her covering gown and sauntered over to the three first responders at the front desk. hen elbows eddie in his ribs, “careful, diaz, she’s coming this way.”

“w-what?” he mumbles and looks back to see her making her way over with a smile on her face.

“just act normal.”

“chimney…” she begins, and chim pulls her into a hug. “how is everything, you feeling good?”

“no stab wounds, no rebar, i’m living the life,” chimney smiles and pulls away as hen whispers to eddie.

“she was his surgeon when he got hurt,” hen informs.

“and i cant forget about miss henrietta wilson!” she comes over and wraps her arms around her. they exchange quick conversation about their lives, karen and denny. “and diaz?”

eddie’s face drops and he swears he’s as red as a tomato. he doesn’t remember ever meeting her, even when chimney was stabbed by doug. “yeah, ha-have we met?”

“no, not properly,” y/n tells him. “i saw your name tag,” she says with a bright smile and eddie blushes a little. he thought he grew out of the awkward crush stage, but guess not.

“right,” he laughs. “eddie diaz, 118.”

“dr. y/n y/l/n, it’s nice to finally speak to you,” she slips out. “or meet you! sorry, i’ve just seen you come in a few times.”

“don’t worry about it,” he grins and they all look down at the prominent beeping noise coming from her waistband.

“well, i have a surgery so i’ll see you guys later?” they all nod and begin to turn away. “nice seeing you, eddie.”

eddie trails behind the partners, with a small smirk on his face. “oh he’s got it bad,” hen says.

“that woman saved my life and i think she forgot we were there,” chimney says, with his head down as they pile back into the aid car.

eddie stamped back up the stairs, pulling out his phone from his bag when he got there. everyone was crowded around the kitchen island, talking about the call or their own thoughts. eddie was facing his own nightmare when he saw the notifications flashed on his screen.

y/n/n: 11:34

12 missed calls

he rapidly unlocked his phone, smashing in the password numbers and checking his texts and voicemails. his face dropped when he saw the one remaining voice mail from y/n.

one unread voice message from y/n/n at 11:41

he quickly moved himself away from everyone, barricading himself in the corner. he shakily pressed play on the voice message, loudly. he didn’t care if anyone heard.

“hey, baby,” she starts, quietly and shakily. “i know you’re probably on a call, but i wanted you to listen to me. i don’t want you to freak out or anything yet, but, um, i think someone has a gun. im doing everything i can, but i had to call you and tell you how much i love you…” she breathes and deeply exhales. “i love you more than anyone and i’d do anything for you. i love you so, so much, eddie. i know what you’d say, don’t think this way but i had to say my goodbye just in case… in case i don’t make it out of here. you’re in my heart forever, eddie.”

eddie has no tears in his eyes from the pure terror. she’s alone in this building and has no idea what might be on the other side. he stares at the wall, and the ringing in his ears becomes severe and he feels like he was hit by a car. the whole team overheard, drowning in their own fear as well. the noises of the TV were spat out at them.

“we have breaking news to interrupt our regular programs, several shots have been fired at LA general hospital and an active shooter warning has been sent out-“

everyone’s mouths were gaped open, looking directly at eddie who is already sprinting out of the station and into the engine. he knows they’ll be called soon anyway, so why not get a head start? and everyone follows him, getting into the engine.

eddie plays the message on repeat, looking for any little details and hope. the second they arrived on scene, eddie barely gave the engine time to stop before he was out. his mind was in complete fight mode, which almost gave him the impulse to run in and find his soon to be fiancé.

gathered around the hospital are multiple SWAT trucks and tens of police units. they were coming in and out, and eddie almost dropped to his knees when he heard the three words, “suspect in custody.”

the hospital was eerily silent. it was terrifying to y/n, as it was always busy and loud and now, there wasn’t even beeping of machines or hissing of intubation. it was like the whole world stopped. she had ran into the bathroom of a patient, not leaving the room for any reason. locate, lockdown. the four L’s were speeding through her mind in a desperate fight to survive. when you get the training, you assume it’ll never happen to you. but it can.

she was splattered with blood from the bank in a desperate attempt to save herself if needed, but then found herself locked in the small room. her mind had almost become a blur, waiting forever to get the all clear before she heard the SWAT teams come into the room and help lead her out. her eyes were glued to the ceiling to avoid any contact with the horror ensuing.

she had finally been confronted with the fresh california air, walking outside and looking around for anyone she knew. her hands were fallen loosely around her sides, but her posture was stiff.

meanwhile, behind the yellow tapes and barriers, eddie was attempting to get inside to find y/n, having no idea that she was almost right in front of him. “i swear to god, athena, i need to get in there and find her, i have no clue where she is and i need her to be ok, so please,” he rapidly spits out when he feels bobby place a calm hand on his shoulder.

“eddie,” he says, turning his attention to the fearful woman standing in the middle of the parking lot. he’d been waiting for hours for her to be evacuated, the process feeling like years.

when eddie adjusts himself and focuses his eyes, he pulls his stapled feet off the ground and walks over to y/n with his hands out shortly. she sees him coming up, sighing out of exhaustion and was finally in repose. her eyes were red and tired, filled with non-stop tears that were subconsciously falling down her cheeks.

“eddie?” she practically whispers.

“yeah, honey, it’s me,” he replies, stepping in closer as she falls into his embrace. “it’s ok, you’re gonna be ok, you’re safe,” he murmurs sweet comforts into her ear and places his hand on the back of her head. her shivering hands were placed against his back.

being able to fall against him and cry on his shoulder almost erased all of y/n’s thoughts. she knew she did everything she had to do, and now was the last step. live

#911 #911onfox #bobby nash #eddie diaz #evan buckley #athena grant #henrietta wilson #eddie diaz x reader #eddie diaz fanfic #eddie diaz x you #eddie diaz x y/n #eddie diaz 911 #eddie diaz fic #eddie diaz oneshot #eddie diaz fluff #eddie diaz angst #maddie buckley #howie han #may grant

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rallentando1011 · 3 days

Text

Somnambulant Soulmates (rise Donnie x gn reader)

Chapter Warning : threats, self-neglect

Prologue, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

Word Count: 1859

The saccharine savor of saturated soda.

A coppery taste laid pungent on your tongue.

A birthday party.

Concrete but harshly into your skin, the pavement cold, harsh.

Flashes of movie nights and spontaneous excursions and too many late nights spent in a lab and unmistakable looks of betrayal.

Your head was plagued by a dull, throbbing pain, extremities felt all-but-atrophied, throat scratchy with dehydration-

You coughed.

If the resulting thick cloud of dust and dirt beside your head didn’t clue you in, the unsavory feel of the - floor? - ground certainly revealed that you weren’t at home, in the lair, anywhere familiar, for that matter.

It took genuine effort to open your eyes. But despite the difficulty of it-

Wait, where were you?

You blinked rapidly; your vision and mind became increasingly more lucid as you processed - this genuinely wasn’t home or the lair or any place you’d seen in your entire life.

Panic was the worst thing you could do. It was also the easiest.

Worry settled in the pit of your stomach, but instead of allowing whatever sparse contents of your intestines to spill over the silt-like ground, you swallowed, pushed yourself up on aching limbs, surveyed the dim room you inhabited.

The walls consisted of thick concrete blocks, dusty, drab, barren. A small divet in the wall revealed an exposed bathroom of sorts, though its contents were rudimentary at best: a toilet with the complexity and basic mechanics of a chamber pot, a rusty faucet and a drain. There was almost no light, save for the only miniscule source of light a barred cell window on the door.

Door.

Before you could process it, you were upon the door, pushing and pulling in the off chance it was unlocked and you could go scot-free.

It wasn’t.

Okay, time to try something else.

Looking around the room for anything useful sounded promising. It was at least something to do.

You trailed the perimeter like a hyper animal, searching for vulnerabilities or secret levers or buttons or anything that could be of use. The best you could find were sharp pebbles and stones which, okay, in a pinch those might be able to injure or distract someone. Not the best resource but, either to feel more secure or out of genuine regard for the rocks, you slipped them in your pocket.

Some sort of mental warning bell began to ring, a meager voice in the back of your signaling some sort of change or imminent threat.

You swung back around to face the door, your ears perked up, your arms prickled with goose-flesh.

A rhythmic clack sounded from outside the door, the sound vaguely reminiscent of how superintendents in a school stalked down the hallway to penalize a student, the footsteps intent, menacing.

The noise came to a halt in front of your door with an ominous click.

You looked out of the door’s window. The view was no longer just a bare hallway. Someone was there. No one other than the one responsible for your impromptu incarceration.

The spider.

Well, at the moment she didn’t quite look like the spider, down about four feet and a few inches and six legs.

In human form she was less physically daunting, but her predatory persona, wicked grin, not to mention her notorious track record, all classified her as a force to be reckoned with.

“Hello,” was all she said, smug and all too bubbly.

You scowled. Even with all of your ailments, you found quite enough energy to be upset.

“Why are you even here? To gloat?”

Her lack of response and never-changing predatory grin were enough of an answer to you.

You scoffed before she finally said something of substance.

“Big Mama always gets what she wants. That’s not what your confuzzled little mind should be concerning itself with.”

“Really? What pressing matter should have my attention then?”

“Oh, how jocular,” the woman snickered condescendingly. “Perhaps your own well being, hm? Or maybe the turtle’s?”

You clenched your jaw.

Big Mama seemed delighted.

“There exist strict lines between business and personal matters, and you seem to have tangled yourself up in that wobbly web. Frankly, I find scenarios such as yours to be positively scrumptious, and I can scarcely wait for it to unfold.

“After all the flim-flam and busywork and contracts are signed, it’ll be high time to rid myself of all the dispensable details, superfluous items such as yourself.”

“What?” you retracted, shrinking away from the door as if that could save you from whatever the arachnid was talking about.

Big Mama’s amusement as she turned away made it abundantly clear it wouldn’t.

“You broke your end of the deal; it’s null and void. It’s precisely what you’re soon to be: terminated.”

And with that, she walked away, the clicks and clacks of her steps doing nothing to help stop the sinking feeling of impending doom filling the cell.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few hours had passed. And then a day. Two, maybe. It was easy to lose track of time in the lab, with the fluorescent lighting and the droning whir of machines and soul crushing sadness still thick in the air and whatnot.

Donnie hadn’t drank. Hadn’t slept. Hadn’t eaten, save for a poptart Mikey’d brought him. Actually, the poptart may have been illusoryâ€¦

But never mind that, he had more pressing matters to think about and/or actively try to ignore: his emotions.

Yeah. It was unbearable.

Betrayed wasn’t quite the word for what he was feeling, even though he certainly had been; you had to trust someone to be betrayed by them, and he wasn’t quite up to admitting(strike through) saying that yet.

Devastated might suffice. Destitute could also work. Deprived, depraved, despairingâ€¦

Okay, at that point his thoughts were merely for alliteration’s sake, not to mention rather pathetic, but that was beside the point.

But in all honesty, it hurt. Some weird ping of pain in his chest, a dull, persistent ache that hadn’t fled since you left.

Closing himself in the lab proved unsuccessful in dealing with his emotions. Scrolling mindlessly on his phone failed to redress the issue as well. He couldn’t even muster up the energy to work on anything.

With his typical means of squandering emotions proven futile, he was forced to try to come to terms with them.

Ugh, emotions. Needlessly complex and complicatedly useless.

By then, he almost felt numb trying to understand how to feel. It’s just- spending immense amounts of time with somebody was, to put it briefly, extremely validating. Most people sought his company out of convenience or necessity, asking for something to be made or fixed or a crime to be thwarted or just dealing with him because he was part of a “package deal” with his siblings. It was exhausting.

Then you came along and seemed to genuinely want to hang out with him and let him explain his works and it felt good. It felt really good.

Just your presence, just that alone, assured him that some people, or at least one specific person, enjoyed him as he was, liked his company as-is.

Then you admitted it was all under false pretenses.

There it was: the classic feeling of triumph followed by a rug pull of his expectations.

It was devastating.

Welp, that was enough emotional struggle for the day. Helplessly, Donnie plopped his head back into his desk, not even moving to check if anything fell due to the rattle of the table his action caused, and closed his eyes in a restless break.

Suddenly, the whooshing sound of the door coming open startled him back to reality, slowly lifting his head from the cool metal.

Bouncy footsteps moved toward him and a familiar someone plopped in the chair beside him.

“Hey D, have you seen-”

“No, I have not,” Donnie answered April flatly, already knowing the subject - you. “I texted that earlier.”

April shook her phone for emphasis as she kicked her shoes up on the desk. “You didn’t reply. And you didn’t answer when I called.”

“Well. I’d intended to.”

“What’s going on, D?”

He crossed his arms, hugging his oversized hoodie closer to himself. “Nothing is ‘going on.’ Everything’s happy-go-lucky, sunshine and rainbows.”

They stared at each other blankly for a moment until April let out a ‘yeesh.’

“Someone’s in a mood. Did y’all get in a fight or something?”

“Like I said, everything’s fine. Must’ve just left for somewhere else inconspicuously after coming here.”

April deadpanned. “So it makes sense for someone just infatuated with you and who had lunch reservations with me today to drop off the face of the earth?”

“It’s not infatuation! Whatever we have- had, was nothing. I meant nothing.”

A gentle hand rested on his forearm. He shuddered. It retreated.

“Soâ€¦ you guys had a fight?”

“To some degree, yeah. And before you say it, it was not my fault.”

April looked unimpressed. Unconvinced.

So Donnie said the only thing that could prove it: everything you had confessed the last time he saw you.

April listened quietly, pensively, solemnly. Eventually, she spoke up politely.

“Desperate times call for desperate measures. None of that was right, legally or morally or in any way, and I’m not saying we have to forgive right now,” she took in a cautious breath, “but something bad could’ve happened, and we should look into that.”

Donnie furrowed his brow. “Pardon?”

“Do you think Big Mama, organized crime boss Big Mama, is above kidnapping or blackmail?”

Huh. He hadn’t thought of that.

April continued. “Look, regardless of mistakes made and secrets kept, we shouldn’t abandon our,” Donnie shot her a testy look, “at least my, friend. We can talk about the whole feelings and deceit mumbo jumbo once we make sure everyone’s safe. And if everything’s fine, you can at least get some closure?”

Donnie pouted for one, two, three seconds before sighing.

“Fine. Why don’t you go fetch the ruffians so they can get caught up on the sitch?”

“Sure thing.”

The moment April left the room to get his brothers, he whipped out his phone and pulled up one of his self-made applications.

Now, some may consider tracking locations without people knowing as immoral or illegal or whatever, but it proved more useful than not, right?

Unfortunately - fortunately? - he had your location and-

Oh.

That was odd.

According to his, highly accurate and precise, records, your location was the Nexus - he rolled his eyes until he saw when it was last updated.

Nearly a full 24 hours ago.

Donnie sucked in a breath through gritted teeth; that was not good.

He wouldn’t admit it aloud, but April might’ve been right.

Something terrible happening was becoming more and more likely.

Quickly, the cogs and gears in his mind began to turn, devising a plan of action, just in case that anxious thought proved to be correct.

At least it would give him something to do. You were probably fine, anyway, even if he felt prickles of nerve-wracking dread down his spine, and it didn’t hurt to check.

Not that he cared anymore anyway. Definitely not.

(Taglist~

@rottmntsimp

@envyjmoney

@niphredil-14

@hamthepan

@valeave

@hahahhahananan

(I was right, I’m posting this from prom lol))

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stuffforthestash · 1 month

Text

Modern Academic AU pt2

Originally started because Professor Raphael got stuck in my head and I had (foolishly) hoped if I wrote down some thoughts, that would be the end of it 🫠

Part 1 and Part 3 ------------------------------ Minthara - School of Law. Used to be a high profile defense lawyer but was barred from practice under questionable circumstances, so now she teaches courses on criminal procedure and domestic violence litigation. Male students are actively warned against taking any of her classes. Elminster - Liberal Arts Dean. Has been in the position forever and is something of a legend at this point. He's Gale's mentor and long time family friend, and he delights in showing up unannounced to Prof. Dekarios's lectures. The two of them have a longstanding tradition of leaving surprise pranks in each others offices. Rolan - English department. Newly upgraded from adjunct instructor to junior full time staff, he's been assigned the special hell of having to teach the general ed. introductory writing courses that none of the other faculty want to deal with. He hates it and thinks it's a complete waste of his talents, but is determined to stick through it long enough to get that research grant. Alfira - School of Theater & Music. Teaches vocal technique and musicality at every level. She's also the faculty coordinator for multiple on-campus performance groups, directs the university chorale and composes all their arrangements, is herself in a local acapella group, AND does community arts & outreach programs for kids.

Gortash - Newly appointed Dean of Information Studies. He's brilliant, he talks big about new frontiers in infosec and grand designs in the future potential of AI... and is already under investigation by the ethics board for misappropriation of university funds. Ketheric - VP of Alumni and he's been with the university longer than Elminster. Nobody knows why he hasn't just retired yet, despite how much he seems to hate his job. Orin - School of Fine Art. She "teaches" a course on performative art. It's weird and extremely uncomfortable for everyone involved, but for some reason people keep enrolling. Durge - Fine Art Dep't Chair. The deeply disturbing nature of his personal art aside, he's actually good at his job as both the chair and an instructor. Mostly teaches anatomy and live model studio courses. Ulder - VP of Public Affairs. He's a great public face for the university, everybody loves him... except the son he refuses to acknowledge after a falling out years ago. Mizora - Human resources admin. Loves her job because it gives her power over other people. Is more likely to be the source of an HR complaint than the one who actually solves the problem. Thaniel (as requested!) - Also HR. He's the one you hope gets assigned to whatever you need because he's great at it. Is also the only one who can reliably get in touch with Halsin; it's not well known that he can, so he'll usually agree to help those who figure out to ask him.

------------------------------

This started going long, so it looks like I'll be doing a third (and probably final?) installment to cover Dammon, Zevlor, Wulbren, Aylin & Isobel, and any other requests!

#bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #minthara #elminster #rolan #alfira #enver gortash #ketheric thorm #orin the red #durge #mizora #ulder ravengard #thaniel

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transgenderteensurvivalguide · 4 months

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you're trans, right? how did you come out to your parents? how did it go? how would you recommend someone go about doing it if they aren't sure how their parents are going to react? (positive to other people's kids being trans, dislike trans women in sports, generally vote democratic). i'm ftm.

sorry if this is too personal or already been answered or something

-- aar

Lee says:

As a matter of fact, I am indeed trans! I specifically identify as genderqueer, non-binary, transmasculine, transgender, and transsexual, although that's neither here nor there.

I actually didn't come out to my parents-- I came out to my friends, and then more publicly to my classmates at school. Then one of my classmates told her parents about me being trans, and that parent met my parents at a party and mentioned that I was trans. Unfortunately it just so happened that while they were at the party and out of the house, I took the opportunity to cut my hair short at home. Yikes!

Anyway, I would fully recommend actually coming out over being outed, if you have the choice, because then you have some control over the start of the conversation and can initially let them know whatever you want them to know.

As always, safety comes first. Do not come out if you do not think you will be safe. If there's any risk of harm or severe negative consequences, you should wait to come out until you're in a more secure position, like being 18 or older, financially independent, not living at home, or at the very least, having a support system in place like a trusted therapist who can help you deal with the repercussions of coming out.

There's a difference between being genuinely unsafe and feeling uncomfortable. Most people will feel their fight-or-flight anxiety response kick in when they have a really scary and stressful conversation, especially when they're talking with someone who means a lot to them and has a lot of authority in their life. But being anxious about their reaction might make something feel unsafe, emotionally, even if you logically know that you are safe and they will not kick you out, abuse you, etc.

That doesn't mean that your feelings aren't real feelings though. If you think that you would not be able to cope if your parents don't immediately and fully accept and support you, then maybe it isn't the right time to come out either. Your emotional well being is important, and if you would be unsafe as a result of mental illness/extreme distress after coming out (if your parent's reaction isn't what you had hoped it would be) then you should consider that to be just as important as if you were physically in danger from an external source. After you've had some time and therapy and got re-stabilized then you can reconsider coming out.

Let's say that you've decided to proceed with coming out. The next step is to continue to gauge their attitudes. You've already observed some of their views. This can be a good starting point to understand how they might react. Remember, though, that parents' reactions to their own child can sometimes be different from their general opinions. So they might be fine with your trans friends, but not be fine with you being trans yourself.

You can't fully predict what will happen, but making sure you have a sense of what they currently think might help a little-- if the topic hasn't come up in over a year and you're working off of what you remember them saying far in the past, it's possible their views have changed by now.

But either way, you'll never really know what will happen after you come out, so if you want to do it, you just gotta go for it.

Now it's time to prepare. You may want to have resources ready for your parents, so looking to find those resources should be your next step. Are there local support groups for parents of trans kids and do you know of any peers whose parents have attended? They might have questions or misconceptions about being a trans man, so be ready to share some basic 101 information with them and don't assume they understand what it really means to be trans. Websites, books, or even contact information for a knowledgeable counselor can be helpful.

Think about what you want to say beforehand. What's the point of coming out? Do you want something to change, like having them call you a different name, use different pronouns, buy you different clothes? Do you want them to understand the nuances of your identity and know the right terms and words to use and what terms and words are offensive? Think about all of your goals, and then write down the key points you want to get down.

This is the time to consider your answers to the questions they might ask you, like "how long have you felt this way," "do you plan on medically transitioning," "what does this mean for your sexual orientation," etc. Even if you don't know all the answers yet and are still figuring yourself out, you want to have an idea of what you'll tell them, even if it's just "I don't know yet, I'm still figuring it out".

I'm personally not a fan of gimmicky/"cute" ways of coming out when you aren't sure whether your family will be accepting. So I would recommend just using a letter to initially come out if you're worried about getting overwhelmed or forgetting important details, and being prepared to follow that up by having a sit-down conversation.

Have a support system in place. This could be friends, other family members, teachers, counselors, or online communities who understand and support your identity. I always recommend scheduling an event with friends either for directly after you come out so you have an excuse to leave the conversation and go, or at least for the next day so you can decompress and discuss it with people who support you.

When you're as ready as you can be, choose the right moment. Find a time when your parents are likely to be calm and not preoccupied with other stressors (so not on their birthday, a major holiday, etc) and either leave the letter for them or ask them if they are available to have an important conversation.

This might not always be possible, but a peaceful environment can facilitate a better conversation. Choose a time and place where you feel safe and where you won't be interrupted. This could be at home during a quiet weekend afternoon, an evening after dinner, or during a walk together, depending on your family dynamics.

Finally, it's time to have the conversation. You should be clear and direct. Tell them "I'm transgender and that means I feel I am a man," or whatever language you feel comfortable with. Don't hint at it because they might not know what you're trying to tell them, just tell them exactly what you want to say.

It’s okay to admit if you don’t have all the answers yet. Transitioning is a journey, and it's fine to be figuring things out as you go.

But if that isn't the case for you, and you are sure, then you should be ready to stand up for yourself and tell them that. They might react positively, negatively, or be unsure, but their feelings are not your fault/your responsibility because you're living true to yourself. It's okay if they need time to process the information, but don't back down and let them railroad you into saying that you're not sure or didn't mean it if you are sure and do mean it.

Finally, be prepared for the long haul. Understand that your parents might need time to fully grasp and accept your identity. Patience can be challenging but is often necessary since it can take several months to years before they come around and truly support you. That means that one conversation is usually not enough. Be open to ongoing discussions and expect them to be sometimes awkward.

We have a coming out page with more info, although some of the links are old and broke (I promise I'll get to fixing it some day!)

Followers, any advice for anon?

#Lee says #coming out #ftm

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