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punkshort · 3 months

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somewhere to run | 12. the trial pt.1

Pairing: sheriff!Joel x f!reader

Chapter Summary: Madeline preps you for the first day of the trial and shares a surprise witness being called to Patrick's defense, and Patrick requests to speak to you unexpectedly.

Chapter Warnings: language, smut (MDNI 18+), phone sex, m and f masturbation, dirty talk, mother issues (could be perceived as parental emotional abuse, and probably is), possessive!joel, recounting of previous DV and SA

WC: 7.2K

A/N: If anything in this chapter jumps out as you like 'I don't think that's how the law works', just move past it. I had Google and a dream.

Series Masterlist

The flickering florescent lights from the grocery store were starting to give you a headache as you slowly made your way up and down the aisles, occasionally stopping to grab a bag of chips or some mac and cheese. It was late. The store was quiet. You were supposed to be buying things to keep in your hotel room when you got to Austin, but you could hardly focus. You had the weekend to pack, buy supplies, and check into your room before meeting with Madeline on Monday. She was planning on using most of the day to prepare you for the trial, which was scheduled to start first thing Tuesday morning, and your nerves were a mess. And to make matters worse, Joel wouldn't be able to get to Austin until the morning of the trial.

The one silver lining was your divorce. Madeline felt confident after speaking to his lawyer that Patrick would be signing the papers this week. The cynical part of you wondered if there was a catch because Patrick was never one to take things lying down, but you tried to push it out of your mind. Instead, you focused on the variety of microwavable popcorn in front of you. Butter, lightly salted, movie theater... would you even notice much of a difference? You stepped forward to grab the first box you saw when another person unexpectedly walked right into you. You had been so lost in your own thoughts, you didn't even hear someone else coming down the aisle.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," you began. When you looked up to meet their eyes, the polite smile you had forced across your face immediately fell.

"Nikki, hi," you said, taking a small step back towards your cart. "My fault, I wasn't paying attention."

She tossed you a thin smile and not so subtly eyed you up and down.

"Haven't seen you in a while. Read anything good recently?" she asked icily, and you had to fight the urge to roll your eyes.

"Not really. I haven't had much time," you told her, averting your gaze down the empty aisle.

"Oh, that's right. I heard you're getting a divorce," she said with a little pout, and you nodded as the heat began to creep up your chest. "Gotta make sure all those papers are signed before you go jumping into someone else's bed, right?"

"Excuse me?" you sputtered, lips parting in surprise. You thought she would have been a little more subtle than that.

"I hope you at least made sure he was worth it before leaving your husband for him, because woman to woman, I gotta warn you... it's nothing to write home about," she told you with a wink. You frowned and took another step back.

"I'm not leaving my husband because of Joel-"

"Oh, no, of course not!" she said cheerily.

"N-no, really, nothing's going on-"

"Don't worry, your secret's safe with me," she whispered, giving you one more fake smile before turning on her heel and waltzing down the aisle, leaving you in shock.

"Jesus Christ," you muttered to yourself as you absentmindedly rubbed your eyes. Angrily, you reached out and snatched the box of popcorn before turning your cart in the opposite direction.

You hated the idea of someone in this small town having it out for you. She had been swaying the entire female population to turn on you just because she went on a couple dates with Joel and she figured out he had feelings for you, which was hardly your fault. But you thanked your lucky stars she didn't seem to know just how close you and Joel really were, because if she did, there was no doubt in your mind she would have spread that news like wildfire.

Impulsivity won and you swung your cart down the candy aisle, throwing far too many items into your basket.

To hell with Nikki. She had no idea what you were going through and you didn't have time for her high-school bullshit, so you forced yourself to move past it. Besides, you had much more important things to worry about. Like if you should buy Reese's or Snickers.

"I hate all my clothes."

"C'mon, they can't be that bad," Joel's voice filtered through your phone. You tapped the speakerphone button and dropped it onto your bed in order to free up both your hands, then held up two ugly blouses against your chest while you looked in the mirror.

"They really are," you told him, scrunching up your nose. "But Madeline told me if I wore stuff like this, it would look more sympathetic to a jury. Like I'm some poor, modest housewife in need of saving," you said with a roll of your eyes.

"Well, if Maddy told you to wear somethin' specific, you should listen to her. She knows what she's doin'. I've known her a long time, this isn't her first rodeo."

"Yeah, yeah, I know," you grumbled, picking up a couple of skirts that, in your opinion, were far too long and didn't make you feel very confident.

"You look beautiful in anything," he said, his voice dropping an octave lower.

"Thanks, but you're biased," you teased, and you heard a soft chuckle float through the speaker.

"Yeah, maybe," he agreed. There was a small pause as you continued to sift through your clothes, then he asked, "are you tryin' anythin' on right now?"

"No, once at the store was plenty," you huffed, then began folding the skirts up to place them in the bottom of your suitcase.

There was another pause before he spoke again.

"Then what are you wearin'?"

Your hands stilled and you sucked in a breath when you finally realized what he had been hinting at the past few minutes. Glancing down, you grimaced at your favorite pair of stained sweatpants and a tank top that had fraying straps, but you refused to throw it away because it made you feel skinny.

"A tank top," you finally answered, leaving out the part about your ratty old sweatpants.

"Mm, the white one?"

"Yes," you replied, your pulse already thrumming steadily in your throat at the line of questioning.

"Wish I was there with you," he said, his voice low just in case Sarah could hear from her bedroom. "I can see right through that top, drives me fuckin' crazy."

Glancing in the mirror, you realized he was right. You could see the outline of your nipples clear as day in the right lighting.

"Joel, is this a good idea?" you asked, but found yourself flopping down on your bed anyway next to your phone, your fingers dancing at your waistband.

"You're stressed, right?" he asked, his voice a little breathless now and you knew he must have been stroking himself. You've done this dance too many times.

"Yes," you whispered.

"Lemme help you relax, then."

You chewed on your lower lip as you stared up at your ceiling. You knew doing this with him complicated things and you were supposed to be able to take the stand in a few days and honestly say you weren't in a relationship with Joel, but the lines were too blurred and at this point, you had no idea how you would answer that question.

Then again, what difference would one more time make?

"Okay."

"Good girl," he murmured, and you felt yourself flutter at the praise. "Where are you right now?"

"I'm laying in bed," you told him, closing your eyes so you could focus just on his voice.

"And are you touchin' yourself?"

"No," you said, taking a deep breath. "But I want to." You heard him utter a soft groan.

"Go ahead. Just one finger and I want you to tell me how wet you are."

Slipping your hand under your waistband, you did as you were told, choosing the tip of your middle finger to slide through your folds and prod gently at your entrance.

"So wet," you murmured, then teased yourself again, collecting the arousal pooling there. "All wet because of you, Joel," you added breathily.

"Fuck, I wish I was there," he whispered again, and you slowly pushed your middle finger inside with a moan.

"W-what would you do?" you stammered as you felt the tension begin to build, a warm heat sparking low in your belly.

"I'd taste you first," he said lowly. "Only got to do it once, been dreamin' of doin' it again. You taste so fuckin' good, d'ya know that?" His accent deepened the more aroused he became, and it made your heart skip a beat.

"You're really good at it," you mumbled into the phone, your finger curling inside you, that one spot just out of reach.

"Tell me how much you liked it," he rasped, and a little groan slipped past your lips, your finger still pumping in and out.

"Loved it," you moaned, and you heard his heavy breathing now as he listened to you intently. "F-felt so good. God, that tongue... my thighs burned the next day from your beard. Felt it all night at work... thought about you s-so much. Fuck, Joel, I need more," you whined, your back arching pathetically.

"Add another finger and play with your clit, baby," he whispered, and you thought you could hear him fucking his fist on the other end, but his heavy pants drowned out the noise. You did as he said, gasping in relief at the extra stimulation while your legs began to shake.

"Joel-" you whimpered, but he cut you off.

"When this is all over, I'm gonna wake you up every mornin' with my mouth between your legs," he said with a grunt. "Would'ya like that? Hm? You want my tongue inside that tight little pussy? Want me to suck on your clit til you can't remember your name?"

"Oh, fuck, Joel, I-I think I'm gonna come," you cried out softly, tears pricking the corners of your eyes as your finger rubbed fast little circles over your clit, your hips rocking against the heel of your hand as you chased your release.

"Go ahead, lemme hear you. Say my name, baby," he panted, his voice cracking, and you knew he was close. "Tell me - shit - tell me I'm the only man who's ever made you come."

And you did just that.

You fell over the edge, his name tumbling from your mouth over and over as you soaked your own hand, and once you got your bearings, you moaned about how good he made you feel, how no one else could ever compare, how you couldn't wait until he was in your bed again because your own fingers no longer satisfied you now that you've had him. You kept talking until you heard a sharp intake of breath and a low, muffled groan on the other end of the line, leaving each of you quietly panting for air.

"Feel better?" he asked after a few minutes, and even though he couldn't see you, you smirked.

"Yes," you whispered. You could hear him shifting around in his bed, his sheets bunching up and the springs on his mattress squeaked. "I miss you," you added sadly, thinking about the one night you got to sleep in his bed. How comfortable you felt. How at ease it made you feel, and he wasn't even in the bed with you. Just being around him was all it took.

"Me, too. We're so close, baby. Just a few more days. A week, tops."

His words instilled a newfound vigor in you. The fear and anxiety you felt about the trial temporarily disappeared and instead, you felt powerful. In charge. Confident. And eager to take your life back.

Monday

"Have you heard from any of the other women?" you asked Madeline hopefully, and she gave you a quick shake of her head.

"Not yet. I'm sorry," she replied, knowing you were all crossing your fingers that some of the women Joel talked to in Philadelphia would change their minds and come forward, but as hard as he tried to convince them, they were all too scared to say something, putting you back at square one. He had high hopes for one girl in particular, Nina, but so far she had refused to answer his or Madeline's calls and time was running out. "Don't worry, hun. We still have all the evidence on our side. We have the medical records, I can prove years of abuse with that and testimony from the people you put us in contact with. I am confident we will win, regardless of the other victims," she told you, looking you dead in the eye, and you believed her.

"Okay," you replied, taking a deep breath and nodding your head. "And again, I'm sorry I couldn't get anywhere with my mom. Do you think we'll still do okay without her?"

Madeline sat back in her chair and slid her glasses off, holding them gently in her hands while giving you a look across her desk that made your stomach twist.

She had bad news.

"We would do just fine without her, but I found out this morning that she was subpoenaed by the defense."

You stared at her, not quite understanding what you were hearing.

"What does that mean?" you finally asked, and although you had an idea, you needed her to say it.

"She agreed to speak on Patrick's behalf."

Tears sprung up in your eyes but you quickly wiped them away, refusing to allow your mother to cause you any more pain. Before you could say anything, Madeline spoke up again.

"Don't let it upset you. They might think they're making a power move, but I'll destroy her on the stand, mark my words. It will only help our case and paint the picture of a lifetime of abuse," she told you, putting her glasses back on before looking back down at the file in front of her. You hadn't ever considered your relationship with your mother as abusive before. You just assumed most girls had problems with their mothers growing up. But if she was willing to help your husband over her own daughter, essentially supporting everything Patrick has done to you, then 'abusive' was really the only word you could use at that point to describe your relationship.

"Okay, what else," you asked hurriedly, looking down at your hands folded on your lap.

"Well since we are already on the shitty news portion of the day, I do have one more thing I need to mention, and before I tell you, just know you can do absolutely whatever you want, okay? Do not feel pressured to go through with it-"

"Just say it," you told her, and she took a brief pause before continuing.

"Patrick asked to speak to you before the trial. He's holding the divorce papers as a hostage. Says he will sign them if you speak to him."

Your eyes shot up to meet hers in shock.

That was not something you were expecting to hear.

"W-why would he want to talk to me?" you stammered, and you could feel your heart beginning to pound louder in your chest, the fear and anxiety quickly taking hold yet again, just like it always did when it came to Patrick.

"My guess? He probably wants to convince you to drop the charges in exchange for a divorce. And that is something we are not going to do, understand me?" Madeline said, narrowing her eyes at you. "If my hunch is correct, he's scared. He knows he's going to lose and he is desperate. We do not need him to play nice here. I can get a judge to grant an annulment if he won't sign, it will just prolong everything a little more, but the end result will be the same."

The idea of your divorce taking even longer made your blood boil. You wanted to be with Joel. You wanted this to be over. It was only supposed to be a few more days... a week, tops.

Madeline could tell you were spiraling because she put her pen down and stood up from her chair.

"You don't have to talk to him. You are under no obligation to hear him out. We can just go through with everything the way we planned-"

"I'll talk to him," you said quietly.

"I have to give you my honest opinion here. I don't think it's a good idea."

"I'm not going to drop the charges, but... I don't know. Maybe I can convince him this is over. And if not, I'll just get up and leave," you told her firmly, and she examined you carefully before sighing.

"Alright. I'll contact his attorney and set something up in the morning. If you change your mind, you let me know. Night or day, five minutes before you walk into that room, it doesn't matter, okay? You don't have to do this."

"I know," you said, "I want to."

Madeline spent the rest of the day briefing you on what to expect for the trial. After opening statements, Madeline would argue your case with the evidence she collected and the witnesses she subpoenaed, then Patrick's lawyer would have the opportunity to cross examine and afterwards, it would be their turn to defend Patrick with their own witnesses before closing statements and deliberation. Madeline guessed the whole thing would take two or three days at the most, and that gave you some relief. No matter what happened, this would be over by the end of the week.

"I'll call you to the stand last," Madeline said. "It's best if your testimony is freshest for the jury, especially right before the defense states their case."

"Okay. And what do I do when I'm up there? Should I look at the jury or the judge, or just you?"

"Look wherever you feel comfortable, but don't offer any extra information outside of the question being asked. We'll rehearse the questions I'm going to ask before you leave today, and when it comes time for the defense to cross examine, give as little information as possible. Yes or no answers. And they'll try to get you upset - don't let them. That's important, okay?"

"Yes," you said with a nod. "I understand."

After you ran through the questions, Madeline sent you back to your hotel room with the list for you to review and practice on your own, but your head was pounding by the end of the day. Your eyes burned and your mind was racing and all you wanted to do was sleep, but your body wouldn't let you. You ended up pacing around your room and trying not to let your anxiety about seeing Patrick in the morning torment you. You had just found a mindless cooking competition show to put on to help distract you when your phone pinged next to you on the nightstand.

Joel: All ready for tomorrow?

You: I think so, but I'm nervous. Can't sleep.

Pausing for a moment, you added another text.

You: I'm meeting with Patrick in the morning before it starts.

It took less than two minutes for your phone to ring.

"What d'you mean? Why're you meetin' with him?" Joel's voice asked aggressively the moment you answered the call.

"He's holding out signing the papers until he speaks to me," you explained. "He says he'll sign them if I talk to him. I figured there's no harm, he can't hurt me-"

"No harm?!" Joel exclaimed, and you quickly stopped talking. "All he does is harm! The fuck are you thinkin'?" he asked, sounding less angry and more upset now.

"Madeline said it'll take longer to get a divorce if he refuses to sign. I just want this over with, Joel!" you said, your voice beginning to break. "I don't want to wait a few more weeks or months. I'm fucking done! And if listening to whatever he has to say for twenty minutes gets him to sign the goddamn papers, then I'll do it! Because I can't do this anymore!" you sobbed into the phone, the tears you fought to hold back all day finally coming to the surface.

"Okay, okay, calm down," he said soothingly, and you took a few shaky breaths in. He waited until your breathing steadied before speaking again. "What time are you supposed to see him?"

"8:30," you said, wiping your tears away with the back of your hand.

"Alright, I'll be there," he said. "Just in case. I wanna be there."

"You can't come in the room with me, Joel."

"You can't go in alone," he argued.

"Madeline said the conference room they booked has a door with a window. You can both watch from the hall."

He grumbled to himself on the other end and you waited, chewing on your lower lip nervously, for him to say something.

"One wrong move and I'm puttin' his head through the fuckin' wall," he muttered.

"That wouldn't exactly help your lawsuit," you reminded him.

"You let me worry 'bout that," he said, and you yawned. He must have heard you because his voice softened. "You gotta get some sleep. Big day tomorrow."

"I know," you replied, and although you felt like you wouldn't get much restful sleep, your eyelids were still getting heavy.

"I'll be there bright and early, alright? And I'm stayin' til it's over."

"What about Sarah?" you asked sleepily.

"She's stayin' at a friend's house. Couldn't be more excited about it. Practically kickin' me out," he said with a chuckle.

You laughed as you stared blankly at the TV, watching some poor girl cry when her crème brûlée burnt. "I'll see you tomorrow, then."

Joel bit his tongue on the other end of the call, holding back the words he really wanted to say but knew it wasn't the right time. Instead, he said "good night, baby. See you in the mornin'."

Tuesday

As expected, you tossed and turned all night. It was clear as day when you caught your reflection in the mirror and winced at what you saw. The bags under your bloodshot eyes wouldn't be tamed by the concealer Maria bought you so long ago, but you tried your best, anyway. After picking out the least ugly shirt and skirt combination, you made sure your hair looked decent before taking a deep breath and stepping out the door of your hotel room.

The first step towards your freedom.

You were proud of yourself. You had actually managed to not let the nerves get to you until you entered the courthouse and saw Madeline tapping away on her phone, wearing a dark blue pantsuit and hair pulled back in a simple bun, with a black leather suitcase hung over her shoulder. She looked up when she heard you approach, giving your outfit a nod of approval before enveloping you in a quick hug.

"You ready?"

"Ready as I'll ever be," you said, giving her a nervous smile. Your hands were beginning to shake as she walked you down a secluded hallway towards the conference room she had booked for your conversation with Patrick. You could feel your chest tighten with every step you took, but when you turned the corner and saw Joel leaning up against the wall in a brown suit with another man you didn't recognize but assumed was Patrick's lawyer, you instantly felt relief. When his eyes locked with yours and he gave you a small smile, you felt even calmer.

You could do this.

"Last chance. Are you sure you want to do this?" Madeline said next to you. Glancing through the window in the door, you saw Patrick sitting at the table in a rumpled jumpsuit, his handcuffed arms resting on the table as he stared down as his fingernails. You nodded and looked at Patrick's lawyer.

"Does he have the divorce papers, or do you?"

The lawyer gave you a polite smile before replying "I do, miss."

You nodded before taking a deep breath, and glancing at Joel one more time to remind yourself why you were doing this, you twisted the doorknob and stepped into the room.

Patrick lifted his head up when you walked in and gave you half a smile, but you just shut the door behind you and walked to the other end of the table, as far away from him as you possibly could get, and sat down.

He stared down the table at you, giving you his most charming persona, the side he always brought out when he knew he had gone too far and wanted to make amends. You folded your hands calmly on the table and tilted your head to the side, waiting for him to speak. Minutes ticked by, inching closer and closer to your trial time as you waited, refusing to be the one who bent first.

"New clothes?" he finally asked, and you quirked an eyebrow.

"Yeah, looks like you got some new clothes, too."

You patted yourself on the back for the jab, but you didn't show a hint of the smugness you were feeling when you saw a quick scowl flit across his face.

"Alright," he said, leaning back in his hair and lifting his hands up in mock defeat. "You win."

"What did I win?" you said with a frown.

"This," he said, motioning between the two of you. "You want outta this so badly, fine. I'll sign the papers. I'll leave you alone."

"Great," you said, trying to keep the tremble from your voice.

"You gotta drop these charges, though, baby. This shit could get me killed, you know that?"

"Don't call me baby."

He sat forward suddenly, making you flinch. "What the hell do you want me to call you, then?"

You took a steadying breath and glanced at the door, catching Joel's eye before looking back at Patrick.

"I'm not dropping the charges."

He shrugged and dropped his hands loudly on the table. "Then I ain't signing the papers."

You looked at Joel again. His lips were pressed in a thin line as he watched the two of you and you wondered if he could hear anything through the door.

"What about the charges against Joel? Would you let it go and sign if I dropped the charges?" you asked quietly, and that caught Patrick's interest. He smirked and folded his hands on the table.

"Oh, no. Can't do that. I got your boyfriend right where I want him. Got a rockstar witness that'll help me take him for all he's got. Hope that kid of his is smart, she's gonna need to get a scholarship for college. Daddy ain't gonna have two dimes to rub together when I'm done with him."

Your jaw clenched and your nostrils flared as you stared at Patrick across the table, doing your best to rein in your anger and not say something stupid.

"You don't have shit against him," you spat, and true to form, he couldn't help himself. He just had to show his hand.

"Bullshit. Got that girl he was on a date with that night at the bar willing to testify he had it out for me, that he was obsessed with you and would do anything to get rid of me," he sneered, looking quite pleased with himself.

You bit down on the inside of your cheek. You knew Nikki was pissed, but this was going too far.

"Then it doesn't sound like we have anything else to talk about," you said, standing up. You made your way to the door, passing by his chair, when he spoke once again.

"You're not gonna win, you know. They don't put cops in jail. Juries feel too guilty, knowing how dangerous it is."

You looked down at him, finally seeing him for who he really was: a pathetic, desperate, sad excuse for a man. No matter how long it took for Madeline to finalize your divorce, you would do it the right way. You've suffered for years, a few more months wouldn't kill you.

And then you would be free.

"Hope you're willing to bet your life on that," you said before turning on your heel and swinging open the door.

Joel was at your side in an instant, following you and Madeline down the corridor towards the courtroom.

"Do I even want to ask?" Madeline said over her shoulder.

"You were right. He wanted me to drop the charges in exchange for signing the papers," you told her, then glanced up at Joel by your side. "I said no. We're doing this the right way."

"Good," they both said at the same time. Your hand itched to reach out and hold his, but you knew you couldn't, so you settled for gently brushing your knuckles against the back of his hand and you saw the corner of his mouth twitch.

When you entered the courtroom, which was much smaller than you expected, your eyes immediately drifted around to the scattered few people seated in the spectator chairs. You had completely forgotten about your mother, and seeing her sitting there, on the other side of the room as your cousin, with her hair pulled back tightly and wearing a navy blue dress you hadn't seen before, sent you into shock. Fortunately, she stared straight ahead, avoiding your penetrating gaze, so you looked away and made eye contact with your cousin, who gave you a tight smile and a thumbs up.

Then you heard Joel suck in air next to you and you glanced up at him, following his gaze to Michelle, who was seated a few rows behind the plaintiff's table.

"What's she doing here?" you tried to mutter under your breath.

"Don't know," he replied quietly, turning his focus away from her.

Madeline swung open the doors for you to step through and take a seat behind the desk, where she joined you and began to open up her briefcase and spread out all her files on the table. Joel slid into the row of chairs right behind you, and if you took a deep breath, you could smell him. Gone was the putrid cologne, the only thing he ever had in common with Patrick besides his profession. All that you could smell was him. His natural, masculine scent mixed with a subtle hint of his deodorant and some hair product. A smell you had grown to love and crave.

Glancing at the clock on the wall, you noticed you had less than five minutes before the trial began. More people began to stream in. Witnesses on both sides, some you recognized and some you didn't. A few cops that you knew were close with Patrick on the force sat together in full regalia, no doubt trying to win favor with the jury with their choice in clothes, just like you.

You had a chance to look at Joel just one more time, one fleeting smile and wink from him before the doors swung open. Patrick and his lawyer marched up to their table, both of them avoiding looking in your direction as they got settled in just in time for the bailiff to announce for the room to rise, and moments later the judge and jury walked in.

You were holding up better than you expected. All of these months of preparation finally paid off. You were more confident after each witness Madeline brought up to the stand. She started with a couple old co-workers of yours, who didn't have much to say other than they had asked you a few times about your bruises and you had made up excuses, but they always suspected something else was going on. Patrick's lawyer stood up and objected when they hinted at your husband being the cause, and the judge agreed. Madeline backed off her line of questioning and once she was satisfied, announced no further questions before sitting down. Patrick's lawyer - Beckett Kennedy, you learned - chose not to question them further.

Next was your cousin, Mary, who testified she knew Patrick was hurting you, but as Beckett would clarify for the jury later under cross examination, had no proof other than your word. She explained how you continually went to her for help, that she helped you get on birth control without Patrick's knowledge, and how you confided in her the night before you fled to Texas.

The next witness in your defense was Carol, the doctor Joel had brought you to after Patrick's most recent assault.

That was when things got rocky.

There were blown up images of your injuries being projected in front of the entire room, including some that blurred out your privates, but you still found to be absolutely humiliating. You fidgeted in your seat, trying not to show too much emotion as Carol explained in great detail all of the injuries you had sustained not only that day, but historically as well. Madeline called into evidence your old medical reports from the hospitals back in Philadelphia, and Carol gave her expert opinion on each one, explaining in layman's terms what each and every note meant so that the jury could understand.

Every single cut, bruise, laceration, and broken bone was discussed as you stared down at your hands in your lap, your cheeks burning. You heard Joel shift behind you in his seat and you tried to take a deep breath, tried to catch his scent to calm you, but you were too far away or maybe it wasn't strong enough and the urge to turn around and bury your face in his neck for comfort was overwhelming.

Finally, Madeline finished up with Carol, thanking her for her time before sitting down next to you. She gave you a wink, trying to reassure you everything was going smoothly, and you gave her a small smile in return.

Beckett then got up to cross examine Carol. He tried to poke holes in her medical expertise, tried to question her knowledge about sexual assault and if she could truly be considered an expert in that particular field of study when she was just a general practitioner but Carol sat tall and told the court she was an OBGYN for ten years and that she very much had a vast amount of knowledge in the area of female anatomy.

After Beckett insultingly tried to suggest pap smears and the occasional birth could hardly make Carol an expert in trauma, she was excused.

"We have time for one more witness, Maddy," Judge Dean, an older man with bright blue eyes and absolutely no hair on his head, announced before she stood up and took a deep breath.

"The prosecution calls Sheriff Joel Miller to the stand."

After Joel raised his right hand and swore to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, he sat down and adjusted his blazer, then glanced at Madeline expectantly. She gave him a warm smile and started slow. She thanked him for traveling all the way to Austin to give his testimony, asked him to verify how long he had been town sheriff, and asked him to give an approximate idea of how many incidents he had encountered in his tenure for domestic or sexual abuse.

"So it sounds like you're no stranger to this type of crime."

"Unfortunately, no," he replied.

"The plaintiff didn't call the police when she was assaulted, is that correct?" she asked.

"That's correct."

"Can you explain how you came to find out she was hurt?"

Joel took a deep breath and glanced quickly at you before looking back at Madeline. "She works as a waitress at the diner in town. See her almost every day for lunch. One day she called in sick, I had a hunch somethin' was wrong and her apartment's on the way back to work, so I stopped to do a wellness check on her."

"What caused you to have a hunch, sheriff?"

"The day before, I saw the plaintiff and defendant at a coffee shop. I witnessed the defendant put his hands on the plaintiff in an aggressive manner and it raised some red flags," he explained calmly.

"And when you went to her apartment to do a wellness check, what did you see?" Madeline asked, looking up from her legal pad with her glasses perched on the tip of her nose. You dropped your gaze to your lap. You could remember that day vividly. The shame and embarrassment and the pain all came rushing back, and you tried to blink the tears away as you focused on Joel's answer.

"It was clear the plaintiff had been attacked," he began, and only because you knew him so well, you could hear the slight strain in his voice. "She had a gash on her forehead, a split lip, a bruise on her cheek and scratches all down her neck."

Madeline hummed as she picked up the remote for the projector and flipped through the images that Carol had gone over. She stopped on a picture of your face with wounds that matched Joel's description and you noticed out of the corner of your eye a few jurors shake their heads sadly.

"Are these images the injuries you're describing, sheriff?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"After you performed the wellness check, what happened?" Madeline asked, setting down the remote but leaving the picture of your beat up face on the monitor. You knew she was doing it to garner sympathy and help paint the picture Joel was describing, but it made your stomach turn.

"I encouraged the plaintiff to seek medical treatment and press charges."

"And that is when the plaintiff visited Dr. Carol Parker, correct?"

"That's correct."

"I noticed at the same time, the defendant was in holding, is that true?" Madeline asked, and Joel nodded.

"Yes."

"Why was he arrested, sheriff?"

"He was drunk and disorderly in public the night before, so I took him in to sleep it off."

"Were those the only charges against him?" she asked.

"No. He also punched me when I was attempting to make the arrest, so he was also charged with assaulting a police officer."

"And when the plaintiff came to the station to give her statement, that was when the additional charges were filed, correct?" Madeline asked, picking up the remote to switch to a slide of the long list of charges against Patrick.

"Correct."

"I also see here a restraining order was filed to protect the plaintiff."

"Correct."

"And did the defendant obey the restraining order?"

"No, he did not," Joel said, straightening up in his seat. "He showed up at the plaintiff's place of employment and tried to intimidate her. Threatened her." You closed your eyes for a moment, remembering that night when Tommy and Thor stood up for you. How scared you were, how hopeless you felt and then Joel arrived, and you felt like you could breathe again.

"And the police were called then?"

"Yes. Maria Miller, one of the owners of the diner, called down to the station and spoke with my deputy, who then called me on his way down to the diner and I met up with him there."

"To arrest the defendant for violating the restraining order?"

"Yes, that's right."

"And did you?" Madeline asked, leaning against the desk and crossing her ankles in front of her.

"Not that evening, no. He couldn't be found," Joel said. You stiffened in your seat, bracing for what was coming next.

"Can you tell me what happened after you arrived at the diner?"

Joel swallowed and glanced briefly in your direction again before answering. "I took the plaintiff back to her apartment so she could get some things and stay elsewhere for the night. We were worried the defendant would try to harm her and thought it best she stay away from her residence until he was apprehended," he said, pausing for a moment. "But when we got there, it was clear the defendant had already broken in-"

"Objection," Beckett announced suddenly.

"Sustained."

"Allow me to rephrase," Madeline said, pushing off her desk. "What did you witness when you arrived back at the plaintiff's apartment?"

"It appeared the place had been broken into," Joel began. "Her belongings were destroyed. There were holes in the drywall, dish-ware broken, graffiti on the walls, and what smelled like urine in her bed."

Madeline used her remote to flip to images of your apartment from that night, and when the one of your bathroom came onto the screen, you heard a low murmur from the people behind you.

"According to my notes, you sent out a pair of officers to process the scene the next morning, along with a forensic analyst, is that correct?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"I would like to draw your attention to exhibit 6C, the forensics report," Madeline said, clicking the remote to another slide where a document appeared with the label Exhibit 6C at the bottom. "What can you tell me about this report, sheriff?"

"Objection. The witness can hardly be considered a forensics expert, your honor," Beckett said, standing up.

"I believe he's proven he has many years of experience and can answer basic questions," Madeline argued. "I will wait until tomorrow to question the forensics analyst in more detail, but I believe the sheriff has the ability to answer one simple question today."

The judge looked back and forth between Madeline and Beckett as he considered his answer.

"Be careful, counselor," he warned Madeline, then turned to Joel. "Go ahead."

"The DNA taken from the mattress matched the sample we took from the defendant at the station, so we brought additional charges against him for breaking and entering once he was arrested."

"And when did you finally arrest him, sheriff?"

"The following day."

"Can you please describe for the court how and where you found the defendant?" Madeline asked, leaning against the desk again. You nervously twisted your fingers in your lap as you listened.

"We found him in a crack house with some locals and a couple prostitutes."

"Did he resist arrest?"

"No, this time he was too high and passed out-"

"Objection!" Beckett yelled. "Speculation, your honor."

"Sustained," the judge said, frowning at Joel, but Joel just kept his gaze trained on Madeline.

"No further questions, your honor," Madeline said, turning on her heel to sit back down next to you.

"Your witness," the judge said with a nod in Beckett's direction, and a smug smile spread across his face before he stood up. He paced in front of the bench for a few moments, trying to build up the anticipation, and it was working. Your heart was thundering in your chest as you watched him walk slowly back and forth, but Joel appeared to be perfectly calm as he waited for his first question.

When he stopped pacing and you saw the look on Beckett's face, you knew exactly what was coming. It was the moment he had been waiting for. The bombshell. Their only chance at swaying the jury in their favor thus far, and he was ready to strike.

"Sheriff, have you ever had sex with the plaintiff?"

Please follow @punkshort-notifs and turn on notifications for fic updates. Tumblr won't let me add anyone else to the taglist ❤️

Taglist: @harriedandharassed@merz-8@sarap-77@nandan11@anoverwhelmingdin@fandomscollide@survivingandenduring@honeyedmiller@pedropascalsbbg@southernbe@pedrosfanny@gobaaby-blog @mrsparknuts @missladym1981 @spacedoutdaydreamer@prettyinpunk85@maried01 @sunnyskyapplepie @sawymredfox@gobaaby-blog-blog@stevie75@mxtokko@sleepylunarwolf@lizzie-cakes@laurrrra@annieispunk@here4thedilfs @navystandardheatingoilcap @slugz-writes-shit@devilbat@ashleyfilm@scp116@tragerlover@iveseenstrangerthings50 @brittmb115@lulawantmula@abbysgirlll@ro-nahime-things@whxtedreams@ashhlsstuff@little-pookie@serenadingtigers@paleidiot@ashy-kit@lizlil@detectivejuliuspepperwood@buckyispunk @krispeenuggiez @flippittygibbitts @picketniffler @pedroslittlelady @noisynightmarepoetry @ameagrice@stevie75 @sunbellylou @guelyury

#joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel the last of us #joel miller smut #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller series #joel miller angst #joel miller fluff #joel miller x reader #pedro pascal characters fanfiction #pedro pascal #the last of us hbo #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us #sheriff!joel #waitress reader #STR fic

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girlystories · 7 months

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Being the Bowers gang girl

*ೃ::Both platonic & romantic headcanon

– pairings: various x reader

addition warnings: swearing, bullying, very few depictions of sexism, few derogatory names, toxicity, abusive parenting.

words: 2.6k

this was entirely inspired by z0mbiekittyy, so please check them out!

Meeting/joining the gang

you were at first the quiet, loner girl who kept to herself, only having a few acquaintances, with very few friends.

it wasn't because you were a loser. only the opposite. everyone wanted to become friends with you or get to know you in some way but you never let anyone get close.

everyone had heard of you of course. when they realized you were different they stopped trying to read you or make their mind about you.

that was until greta keene couldn't get enough. she hated the attention you got. so one day she started spreading rumors about you.

it was relatively easy, since no one knew you enough to disprove them in any way. one word went to another and everyone in town now started talking shit about you.

despite that, you didn't care. you had your mind somewhere else. popularity and school drama weren't your thing.

you didn't mind hearing the remarks spat at you when you wandered the halls or when you were in class. you were completely and utterly unbothered.

word got fast that it even reached the all too feared bowers gang.

you were making your way to biology class when you were shoved against a locker, all your books falling one by one on the floor.

"well well well, if it isn't derry's most favored whore", henry was the first to indulge in the act.

he was followed by vic, or – as he liked to refer to him as his 'right-man', "hey, hank. why haven't we ever tried to mess with her before?"

you tried to back up slowly, but your back hit against another frame. when you looked up your eyes met with a pair of green ones, followed by an unsettling smile.

it seemed like no one noticed what was happening – or in better words, no one gave a shit about what was happening.

"dont worry, [name], we're not gonna kill you, jeez," belch revealed.

that made henry groan and turn his head towards his friend. "shut up."

patrick, still behind you, held onto your shoulders, which was very easy due to his height. "or we will, you will find out soon."

"both of you shut up," henry silenced them before it could escalate to something else. "so, how about you come with us for a ride? ya'know, get some air n' stuff."

"you mean like skipping school?", you asked.

"why? are you scared? I'm sure your reputation is as shitty as it can get. can't get any worse than that. even ours is better."

you shrugged, and just decided to follow them. just as you sat at your seat – between vic and patrick, you couldn't make out the read ahead of you, as they were driving recklessly. where you were, you hadn't the slightest clue.

they were laughing and howling, sometimes shouting at the drives passing by.

you? well, you were scared shitless. you clung onto your seat belt, and holding back the urge to start shrieking.

after a while you got used to it and had to admit deep down it was kinda fun.

when you stopped, you realized you were at a junkyard. they prepared a fire when the sun began to set down and opened some bottles of beer.

as you all circled around the fire you began to talk about whatever. you also found yourself to... tolerate them. or, better yet, even enjoy their company.

before you knew it, little by little you hang more and more with them, slowly becoming one of them. it was the first time you were a part of something. they felt like home and you could trust them, despite the hardships and more extreme emotional outbursts.

your reputation got even worse but you didn't care. you had found your people.

Activities

other than hanging out in the junkyard, you guys do other stuff (of course).

it's like you all live together, while you also don't. frequent sleepovers, meet-ups on each other houses take place, ect.

vic once convinced you all to go camping a few towns away. despite being the one who recommended the idea, he ended up despicing it. on the other hand, patrick who hated the idea ended up having the most fun. scaring vic by hiding bugs in his tent and pretending he was hearing bears or wolves. belch had enough and kept demanding they'd stop fighting, while you kept laughing at vic's reactions everytime. you never went camping again.

every morning belch picks everyone in order, first henry, then patrick, then you, and lastly – the sleeping queen himself: vic.

then, you make a stop at the local diner, everyone choosing their own specific order that the waitress had already memorized.

unless vic had a hangover from the party the day before, he wouldn't stop complaining about who-knows-what.

sometimes, when you were really bored, you'd go out of town in search of abandoned places, owning them for a while until someone else found them and ruined them almost immediately.

it was expected and common sense you'd show up at ever party. then you all would split for a while but meet up in order to leave. belch was in priority not to drink or get high until anyone else got a license. that's what you all agreed on but that possiblility seemed unlikely.

at school you avoided bullying anyone, but giving up on trying to stop them from terrosizing another kid since it was the only thing they ignored you on. the only time you fought back was to defend yourself. not that you needed to, but because you wanted them to know that you weren't as incompetent as you seemed.

when you had the change you'd shoot empty beer bottles with henry's dad's gun.

Henry Bowers

you and henry would share your deep wounds together. him about his alcoholic and insane old man, and you about your hard time fitting in, both in family and friends.

you would joke around, but to an extent. if you said the wrong thing he'd refuse to speak to you for days, weeks or maybe even months – depending how much it affected him. if he was too stubborn, vic would have to somehow find a way to talk him out of his bitchy attitude.

despite him trying to seem hard-shelled, deep down he was very sensitive. he knew you knew that, and he hated it. it was the only thing he hated about you except the fact that tend to be pushy sometimes.

he had never cried in front the guys, but one day he couldn't hold back when he was only with you. it happened only once, but he still feels humiliated about it and hopes you'd never bring it up. he made you swore to never tell anyone.

butch seemed to like you for a reason, only approving of you from the gang. he hated the rest. when you find yourself at their house, he'd warmly greet you.

at first he and patrick made a lot of sexist joke about you. later when he noticed you went silent you, he started using them less, only saying them once or twice.

always offers you cigarettes, and makes sure to buy your favorites.

sometimes (when he's not in a shitty mood) he pays for your food when you go at the diner without saying a word or giving you the chance to convince him otherwise.

all good things considered, let's be honest here cuz we all know he has more negative that good qualities.

for example; gets jealous super easily and gets mad at you for it, making you apologize for something that isn't your fault.

NEVER admits he's wrong. ever.

when you have a different opinion he tells you to shut up or straight up threatens you.

needs a lot of attention, while also can't have on his tail all the time, making him indecisive and confusing.

sometimes doesn't realize you need help and leaves you deal with your problems alone while you clearly do need some sort of hand.

still, you always have a way to be together again, unable to keep any distance between you both. on weekends you usually take the bus to his house, helping him with the choses around the farm.

Vic Criss

you and vic already knew each other from middle school. you were in the same class and he used to help you with homework.

then, when kids started growing up through that phase everybody did about that sort of rivalry against girls and boys. because of that, your 'friendship' fell apart.

you weren't really friends back then but you could've been.

he never admitted it but he always stared at you from away, wishing you would somehow start talking to each other again.

he was the one who convinced henry to approach you that day. the idea popped into his mind just as those rumors started going around.

he was glad henry agreed. even though he always did, he was anxious of saying no. later, he lied to you, saying it was henry's idea instead and that first interaction you had with him was henry's way of being kind (despite calling you a 'whore').

you and vic were close, in a different way you were with the others. he understood you better and he was very good at telling advice. he was also fun gossiping with. definitely the best when having a sleepover. the others found him annoying or bitchy about it, but with you he was himself.

he also was kinda subtle about his true personality, not showing his true small but intresting quirks only you knew.

speaking of gossiping, almost every weekend he crashed at your place, the excuse being his siblings giving him a headache, while his mom being 'a pain in the ass'.

everytime he had a problem with the others you would be the first to know. he was still henry's 'right-man', but sometimes henry was, well... henry.

at parties he'd get wasted and you'd be 100% sure he'd be found in the bathroom pucking his guts out.

you guys are so close he would be showering while you were doing your business at the toilet, gossiping about everything single detail.

still sometimes helps you with school after some persuation, but keeps reminding you that 'he is not your tutor'.

loves braiding your hair when you're hanging out, especially during class when it's something super boring (even for him).

Patrick Hockstetter

you were honestly pretty scared of patrick at first, and most definitely the only one from the gang who gave you the creepes.

the alligations weren't few, to say the least, and at first you kept your distance from him.

he also didn't try to make a move on you, which you found stange, yet grateful. maybe henry threatened him or something. either way you were considerably on good terms with patrick.

one day at school, while you were waiting for the other three to come at your usual spot during break, he offered you a cigarette. you received it with gratitude, since it was rare for an offer coming from patrick. he even stricked up a conversation, which was... maybe a bit thought provoking.

then he smirked – that one charismatic he wore when you would stop being able to read his mind. he was like a puzzle, but most pieces were missing or switched with incorrect ones. "are the rumors true?", he asked, closing his zippo with a 'click' after he light your cigarette.

"i dont think that you care if they're true or not," you answered back, the tobacco filling your lungs with nicotine.

clouds of smoke escaped his nostrils with each chuckle. "maybe."

on your ride home Black Sun Morning by Screaming Trees was playing from the radio and you found yourself singing alongside patrick. he rose his brows, "you know 'em?"

"duh, of course."

the next day on the ride to school, instead of gossiping with vic you ended up having a deep conversation with patrick about music. you never imagined that you'd be having a conversation about art with him of all people.

since then, you hit it off well. he stopped using sexist comments as well, and even attempted physical contact at the diner, brushing his fingers against your hair. when he realized you let him or try to stop him, he smiled to himself.

in the end you were usually seen together, you sitting on his lap during breaks or at the gym stands, in the car or diner. he would wrap his arms around your waist and rest his head on your shoulder. it was making the others sick.

sometimes you attempted to help him with homework, but he only agreed so you could just hangout. he wasn't really interested in attending college. the thing he was good at was certainly playing the guitar. both bass and lead guitar. vic jokes about him making a band but it something told you he didn't view it as a light joke.

one day he invited you to his house to show you his vinyls and discs. that's when you met his mother and was pretty surprised to find out she was vietnamese. he made sure to never speak vietnamese around you or the others.

when meeting you he became less... interested at the fridge at the junkyard, viewing it less and less. maybe therapy was starting to work out? even for a tiny bit.

extremely protective of you, especially at parties. makes sure to keep an eye out even though you wouldn't know it.

Belch Huggins

belch was the most chill and the most independent one of the gang. aways making sure everything was in check and going smoothly. it was no surprise he was super welcome to you and tried to make you at ease the first few weeks, asking you if you were okay or needed a ride home.

is a gentleman, of course. doesn't tolerance any disrespect towards you, no matter how small it may seem to you.

offeres to pay for you when going out, no matter how many times you don't let him.

one time you both got so drunk you couldn't stop laughing; your bellys hurting and your eyes filled with tears while your faces were bright red. it made henry mad (as usual) but it's a memory you'd never forget. you had no way to get back home, though.

on fridays you watch him play basketball, sitting at the stands, and smoking and encouraging him. sometimes vic or patrick came too, but it was very rarely.

he offers you the ball but you immediately decline, being reminded of the day the ball hit you in the face after you missed your shot.

you requested him to teach you how to drive, which was a bad idea honestly. at first you didn't understand his instructions at all, but when he asked you if you had any questions you lied saying 'no'. after that instead of stepping on going forward you accidentally went backwards, almost crashing his beloved trams-am that he named 'daisy'. then you turned the wheel too far, almost falling at a ditch before he saved you two.

swore that you'd never get a license in your life and forbid you anywhere near the wheel, not even the passengers seat.

his dad owes a workshop, fixing cars. he helped too, supporting him in any way he could. you also helped him here and there while he taught you the basics and answered any questions you had.

he promised that he'd let you fix a car entirely on your own without his help. he said he'd also let you keep it for free.

you have a drawer contained only of belch's clothes. at first you'd ask him to try his sweatshirts on. then you'd complain you were cold and he'd sigh, saying you could give it back another day. but you never did.

you loved it when he gave you biggyback rides. his, especially. he could never refuse, despise how tired he was.

#:girlystories #:girlystoriess #[🦢]#it headcanons #it x reader #bowers gang x reader #bowers gang #henry bowers x reader #henry bowers #patrick hocksetter x reader #patrick hockstetter #victor criss x reader #victor criss #belch huggins x reader #belch huggings #it fanfiction #it 2017 #it chapter one #headcanons

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cheriladycl01 · 1 month

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In your Dreams - Lewis Hamilton x FrenchOlympicBadminton! Reader

Plot: Lewis loves Golfing, Surfing and Skiing, so you’d think if he’d end up with an athlete he’d end up with one in one of his secondary sports. But no, hes with you on the red carpet of the debut of a movie airing about your life and your struggles before becoming the youngest Olympic Gold Medalist in Badminton, and having the most consecutive medals too.

Warning: lots of dark themes and undertones about your backstory in this one’s, specifically abuse in the system, parental pressures, grooming and SA (by an ex partner) etc

Credit to yuzuchupachups for the GIF

You walked along the red carpet outside the Leicester Square cinema where the exclusive showing of your new movie was occurring.

Lewis couldn’t keep his eyes off of you in that pretty red dress he loved. The moment he saw you in it, his brain had pretty much short-circuited and his only thoughts were off you.

He knew in the red carpet photos you’d be there radiant as ever and he’d be looking at you like some love sick puppy. But he really didn’t care, this was your night and he was here to support you … his fiancé.

“Thank you for being here tonight. I know it wasn’t easy to get time away” you smile up at him, holding him close to you and looking at him with an adoration he saw often. You knew he was busy with the season as it hadn’t started off as Mercedes Gad expected and he was under a lot of pressure from Toto that he’d been feeling overwhelmed most days.

“You know I’d do just about anything for you my Cherie” he said using the nickname you loved.

“I needed you here tonight” you smile pulling him into a kiss, the camera flashes instantly picking up speed and consistency making you giggle into the kiss.

“I know darling” he says keeping his hold on your waist tight as you walk past the photographers and paparazzi posing every now and then when they ask you to stop.

You eventually get to the people interviewing you, happier to be in a calmer than the one at the start of the carpet.

“Y/N it’s amazing to have you here tonight on the premier. Feeling right now?” She asks and a grin comes into your face.

“Amazing, honestly to have my personal story but out in such a raw and public way is such a helpful step for people who maybe or may have suffered the way I have an gives a message of hope to anyone who has ever felt the way I did that the road doesn’t end there!” You nod loving that you will be helping millions of people who have shared the same experience as you.

“So before we go in, tell us a little about the film!” She probes.

“Well, it’s starts on the note of me growing up pretty tough and with no outlook for my future, being tossed from foster to foster home, the hard times and abuse I went through there before I come across Patrick DuPont, who we know very well as my trainer and the main reason I ended up where I am today. It moves through my teens and realising I’m talented and some things and how I was naive enough to not see the manipulation and abuse I was put through as a result of that and how I was used by many. It guides you through my most important relationships with people both the most gnarly and the most pure. It’s a really moving and emotional movie that I know will being lots of people including myself to tears” you explain the rough synopsis to her, making her nod and check her pad in-front of her that an assistant was holding out for her.

“And obviously adding onto those relationships, who will we be seeing a lot of?” She asks and you nod.

“Obviously towards the start in my early childhood, you’ll see a lot of my foster parents and my childhood best friend Emilie Bustlen, as I grow up you meet Patrick and my main foster family. For legal reasons we had to change names around because of this so they are know as the Laurent’s before we meet Hunter Goshill, my ex partner and some of my competitors. Before we finally find a safe haven, in this man right here beside me” you smile pulling Lewis forward and closer to you, he looks a little shocked that he’s now in the full shot of the camera rather than off the the side and has a mic code to him.

“You guys met when Y/N was 19 and you must have been what 25, 26? How did that work in 2011?” She asks knowing that’s when you met.

“Obviously I met Y/N at a race, she was there alone walking through the paddock and I just fell in love with her. Once I worked out who she was having an Olympic gold medal I was introduced to her by my then team principle Martin Whitmarsh and I proceeded to win that race. Was Germany! Obviously the year after she was travelling to London for the Olympics and as my home country of course I came with her as it tied in nicely to my summer break. After that she was the one that convinced me to make the move to Mercedes and apart from proposing to Y/N that’s probably the best thing I’ve ever done” he admits.

“Woah, what a lovers story obviously prior to that, Y/N you were in a if you don’t mind me saying quite a pressured and dare I say toxic relationship with ex partner Hunter?” She asks and you nod looking down for a second before feeling a squeeze on your hand in reassurance.

“I mean it shows it better in the film that I can get into words, but I was very young and naive. I looked for anything that would give me the slightest bit of affection which I would often just confuse with attention. And of course that came from someone who was older than me, and knew how to take advantage of me, without it ever feeling like he had I’ll intentions because I was so desperate to feel. Lewis has thought me many things but being loved the right way is the best thing” you smile looking to your soon to be husband with pure love, no other intentions just two souls mingled together as they should be.

“Really a beautiful couple and a beautiful story, just is heartwarming finding out what you’ve been through and how Lewis has helped break those walls you spent years building. I’m so excited to see this movie, and everyone at home watching this is your sign to get to your local cinema and buy a ticket for In your Dreams: The Story of Y/N Y/L/N ” she smiles.

You nod beofre saying a polite goodbye and heading off.

You answer some more questions, some about the movie some about your goals for 2024 in Paris if you’ll get your 5th gold medal for Team France, some were as trivial as what and who you were wearing.

“God, I just want to go home to Roscoe now” you sigh as you enter the theatre, going to get some treats for you and Lewis while the movie is on.

“I know baby, just a little longer. Then we can get started on our wedding planning hmmm?” He asks looking over you and making you smile and pull him into a passionate kiss, teeth clashing and you pulling him in by the nape of his neck.

You walk past some critics giving them smiles and some small talk before they let you on your way.

You eventually sat with Lewis at the front row will all the cast and directors next to your guys as the film came up on the screen.

It was everything you’d envisioned. Tear jerking, heartwarming and moving. Lewis was brought to tears and many others in the theatre who didn’t know the full extent of your story were coming up to you after the film talking to you about your life and how your success had a whole new meaning to them now.

y/user

Liked by lewishamilton, nicorosberg and antonia.desplat

y/user: I’ve loved you since I was 19, now that I’m 32 and engaged to you, I wouldn’t want my life any other way. I love you Lew ♥️.

Thank you so much for paramountpictures making my story come to life in the new movie In your Dreams: The Story of Y/N Y/L/N

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paramountpictures: truly amazing to bring your story of strength, resilience and success to life.

-> y/user: thank you for putting your heart and souls into this project it really is magical 💥 Also thank you too, all of the actors and actresses in the movie antonia.desplat who did a fantastic job!

-> antonia.desplat: thank you for giving me this opportunity. This movie has been my big break as a struggling French actress! Merci Du Fond Du Coeur 🇫🇷♥️🥐

lewishamilton: I love you with all of my heart. I’m so proud of everything you’ve achieved this far and am proud to say I’ll be in your life for the remainder of your future successes and achievements. Je vous aime! 🐻❤️

-> y/user: Sir Lewis Hamilton - the man you are 🫶🏼

nicorosberg: that picture is so old, I took this years and years ago!

-> y/user: Nico Rosberg the OG Y/N-Hamilton shipper 🫶🏼

Instagram Story Caption:

Back on the grind 😮‍💨

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henrysglock · 1 year

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S4 Victims: Story by Proxy?

Okay so. In spitballing with Em...something stuck in my head.

So we all know how serial killers leave crumbs because deep down they want to be caught/want the truth to be revealed? Well what if the Duffers, or even current Henry, are doing the same thing. That is, leaving breadcrumbs.

This mainly has to do with the S4 victims, their stories, and the order in which they're chosen.

So, it goes like this:

Chrissy: Abusive mother who resembles Virginia

Fred: Eaten alive by the guilt of being responsible for the accidental death of an innocent.

Max: Suicidal over guilt about Billy's death and her response to it. Billy, who died saving her/while she was saving herself from the Fleshflayer, a regenerated form of the Mindflayer.

Patrick: Abusive father, not much else told.

Max (again): Suicidal Ideation, dies, soul taken, but was revived by El. She's now in some limbo-state, where her body lives but her identity/mind is elsewhere. She will likely be brought back entirely by El in S5.

It almost feels like a story by proxy if we piece it together.

So, let's piece it together:

Person with an abusive mother...feels responsible for the death of an innocent...a sibling who was killed while this person was trying to save themselves from a monster which came from Hawkins lab, which leaves them suicidal...and this person lives in a situation with an abusive father figure. This person becomes suicidal, and their suicide attempt was not entirely successful. They were revived by El, and end up in a limbo state. They may or may not be brought back by El later.

Now, let's collect details about our serial killer:

Abusive mother? Check. (No matter how we frame it, Virginia was not a good mother.)

Innocent died? Check. (Henry has nothing bad to say about Alice, which we know he would if she were not innocent, since he does this with every other victim.)

Sibling died as a result of saving oneself? Check. (The Creel massacre was a situation where Henry was, with whatever intentions we may assign for the other family members' deaths, trying to save himself from Virginia and by extension the lab.)

Ended up with an abusive father figure? Check. (Well...an abusive Papa, one might say.)

Brought back by El multiple times? Check. (El was the one who took Soteria out and brought Henry back from being powerless. El was the one who put Henry in the UD/limbo state. El was the one who opened the gate for his return to the RSU.)

IT ALL ALIGNS. So let's put it together with all the feelings involved:

Citations (I guess? Explanations?) are in the tags listed by number!

Henry had an abusive mother who was at least trying to have him shipped off to the lab, if not actually trying to kill him outright. This situation builds and builds, him wanting to be left alone (1), putting out subconscious and conscious cries for help (2), and her targeting him about it, until March 25th, 1959.

Virginia starts it, attacks, and this time she's out for blood (3). Henry defends himself (4). Virginia, being the parent with powers (5), doesn't actually die (6). Victor, Alice, and Henry go for the door (7). Virginia's on the stairs (8). She's got to finish what she started, since her original plan was botched (9). Henry puts his energy into trancing Victor (10), protecting him from Virginia, since logically two people can't occupy one person's mind.

This leaves good, innocent Alice to fend for herself, standing directly in front of the staircase. She's a loose end (11). Virginia kills her, but can't kill Henry or Victor while the trance is occurring. She figures Henry's going to run himself into the ground (12). She figures she can call Brenner in to collect Henry, like they planned (13). If she disappears, she figures it'll go into the news something like this:

"World War II veteran kills entire family in deranged fit of insanity. Wife missing, presumed dead. Son dies in hospital."

And on both counts, she's essentially right. It does basically go into the papers that way. Victor is taken in for murder, and Henry is taken by Brenner, but not before he sees that Alice was caught in the crossfire (14).

Henry ends up with Brenner, the abusive Papa. He's got the guilt about Alice's death, something that makes him sad and angry. Brenner, maybe, decides to push this in order to increase Henry's powers, but it backfires. Henry's powers increase, but he does...something. He lashes out, he snaps, maybe he even tries to kill himself. He's Brenner's prized pet, though, so Brenner can't let that happen. He seals Henry's powers away with Soteria. It's a death for Henry's entire identity, so far as to have him under the name Peter Ballard. Then comes along 011. She removes Soteria from Peter Ballard...and revives Henry Creel. She then exiles him to the Upside Down in 1979, only to eventually bring him back in 1983 when she opens the Mothergate.

All this to say: It could be his own story, told through the stories of his victims.

Breadcrumbs, or maybe...obvious things, which nobody by any chance ever observes.

Below the cut is where I speculate into motivations for his actions after Soteria's removal, so...not required reading for this particular analysis.

Years of MKUltra torture warp Henry's guilt about the situation into a bastardized, violent, brutal, unethical savior complex based in the notion that he's a predator by nature, but a predator for good. He "saves" the lab kids from a future like his own, filled with nothing but torture. He "saves" El from her ignorance about the lab and intended to have her join him, thereby attempting to "save" her, technically his little sister, from the lab entirely.

He "saves" his s4 victims from their guilt and suffering, which so closely mirror his own, which no one saved him from. I could even go so far as to say he was "saving" Will, who is set up to be so much like him, from a world of horrible people who (from Henry's viewpoint based on his lived experiences) would only serve to abuse and betray him.

This of course isn't to say any of it is right. None of it is right or good...but it makes sense. It follows a pattern. It coheres. The math...maths.

#Citations!#1: Henry often hides alone in the attic.#2: Victor's burning cradle vison (a child in need of help). The drawing of the Shadow Monster. Possibly Alice's nightmares.#2 (cont.): Can all be interpreted as calls for help. Children in distress act out and make disturbing art in hope of conveying that need.#3: Virginia may or may not have been trying to kill Henry but based on the Fleshflayer parallel re: sibling death...it's probable.#4: Henry himself describes that night as self defense/being forced to act.#5: Virginia likely had powers given that Henry has powers #6: Her powers are likely similar to Henry's and Henry has regenerative powers. There are also fishy scenes of her death which imply #6 (cont.): that she may have still been alive. These include: shots from her POV. The fact that her eyes are bloody--#6 (cont.): but still intact in some shots. The unexplained POV from the top of the stairs.#7: Henry looks very nervous and fidgety at the door like he's antsy to leave with Alice and Victor #8: Again the unexplained POV on the stairs...stairs she earlier runs down after Henry gives her her mirror moment in the bathroom.#9: Henry was successful in disabling her initially which exposed her culpability.#10: Henry puts *so* much time into Victor in canon with basically no explanation why.#11: Alice seems to be a smart and upstanding girl. She might not be controllable re: Virginia being alive/the whole scheme with Brenner.#11 (cont.): The only way to eliminate that risk is to kill her...and we've already seen that Virginia is not good to at least one child.#12: If Virginia has powers like Henry's she likely has a sense of how long someone can be tranced before the trancer runs out of energy.#13: Who called Brenner to come get Henry during his coma? How did Henry end up in Brenner's hands specifically?#14: amerion-main's recent post re: Henry's position change in the foyer shots #End Citations!#This is all very much speculation when it comes to the actual path of events re: the Creel Massacre #but we can all agree that we don't have the full story about the Creels yet...so who knows.#henry/vecna/001 #henry creel analysis #henry creel #virginia creel #creel family #stranger things #stranger things analysis

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redlegumes · 6 months

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If it's just till St. Patrick's Day: Excerpt from Thanksgiving

Chapter Summary:

An orphan Thanksgiving with their strange family. Steve reveals some new secrets to Eddie. Steve proposes a new arrangement for the holidays which they start. After Thanksgiving, Eddie offers Steve his support. Can be read stand-alone

"They’re just hookups though. Steve put his pants on after and left after. I shouldn’t, agh. That sounds so cold. It hasn’t been that cold. But it’s definitely a ‘friend with benefits vibe.’ Though… Eddie mused, our friendship was always odd too. Forged in supernatural hell. Now that the supernatural hell was gone, he had kinda worried how long their little trauma family would hold on. But here they mostly were, in November, still maintaining various group chats, hanging, and celebrating holidays."

Complete tags and finished fic on A03

CW: Smut, Closeted trans character, Tobacco use, Mentions of (not overtly detailed)- alcohol use, past physical abuse parents, family transphobia, disownment

( 〃● ₃● ) ~ 🍁🍂 🧡EXPLICIT CONTENT AFTER THE CUT 🧡🍂🍁

"Who knows what will be, But I'll make you this guarantee, No way November will see our goodbye"

Mrs. Henderson had set out a big spread. She was hosting a bit of an Orphan Thanksgiving for the ‘family.’ Not everyone was around, Nancy wouldn't be back from Boston till Winter break and Robin was off visiting family in Ohio, but those who were tried to make the Henderson house’s gracious invitation to eat there. Mrs. Henderson apparently hadn’t wanted to travel to see her family that year. She’d bought such a big bird, and said it seemed a shame for just her and Dustin to enjoy it.

Eddie learned all this from Dustin, surprised he made the cut for invites. It was still a big group making time for the evening meal. He and Wayne never did much for the holiday, normally turkey frozen dinners, football (that he didn’t watch), and cheap beer. So after a quick check-in text, he said yes.

Hopper and Joyce Byers were in, which included Will, El, and Max. Jonathan was in school for photography now, but he was coming in from Chicago. Mike got permission, as well as Lucas since his family was having their meal closer to lunch. Family was staying with the Sinclairs that week, and his house was going to be packed. Lucas practically begged for a break from his cousins that would be sharing his room over the holiday.

…

Turkey day arrived, and Eddie spent the beginning of the day hanging with Wayne, just catching up. He drove over afterwards to Henderson’s, feeling a little bashful that he was the last to arrive, the others showing up early to help cook and prep the table. The food was plentiful and damn close to the commercials and movies Eddie’d seen when he was a kid. So this is Thanksgiving. Wild.

He even assumed their ‘family’ followed the classic tropes. Before the meal was set out, he and Jonathan took a little ‘walk’ to wet their appetite. The kids mostly bickered and ran around, some watching the game, others watching a stream in Dustin’s room. Eddie hadn’t expected Harrington there, but then he remembered he had picked up Mike and Lucas. For some reason he kind of just assumed he’d drive off after, to his own Thanksgiving. If this was a regular one Eddie could only imagine a rich people version of the holiday.

…

After the meal, Eddie volunteered for dish duty. It only seemed right since he hadn’t done any of the prep. Steve joined him. Most everyone else had relocated into the living room where a game of Mario Kart had been agreed on. Based on the yelling and the huddle around in front of the tv, it appeared as if the game was in full swing.

Mrs. Henderson wandered over with a shot of brandy for the adults. She patted his cheek and then Steve’s before handing them two little glasses. She delivered some platitudes about it being the holidays and moved on to the next room.

He and Steve exchanged shrugs and grins before turning back to the last pots and pans. Steve knocked his brandy back once they finished washing; Eddie'd waited to follow suit. Steve had hopped up to sit on the countertop. He looked good. Maybe it was just that extrovert glow. Or maybe it's because he's one-on-one with me for the first time this evening.

They'd talked since Halloween. Mostly flirting over texts, which wasn't too new, but things had gotten… perhaps… maybe… just a teensy bit more complicated. Steve had been over to his twice now without booze and slutty costumes to provide an easy excuse for ‘bad’ behavior. They'd done the dirty on a total of three occasions at this point and each time it had been good. We both got off. Hell, more than just getting off. Recalling Steve, fucking him on his bed, instantly made Eddie’s cheeks red.

They’re just hookups though. Steve put his pants on after and left after. I shouldn’t, agh. That sounds so cold. It hasn’t been that cold. But it’s definitely a ‘friend with benefits vibe.’ Though… Eddie mused, our friendship was always odd too. Forged in supernatural hell. Now that the supernatural hell was gone, he had kinda worried how long their little trauma family would hold on. But here they mostly were, in November, still maintaining various group chats, hanging, and celebrating holidays.

Eddie had sat down in a kitchen chair, broken from his thoughts by the tap of Steve's foot on his knee.

"Eddie."

"Yeah?"

Steve’s volume was low, but the house had gotten so noisy Eddie doubted anyone could hear their conversation. "I was just saying it's cuffing season. Look, I’d, ah… I’m good with hooking up for the holidays."

Eddie felt himself do the double take. "What?"

"I know you heard me that time."

"Yeah, but cuffing is a little more than just fucking." Eddie gazed up at Steve, still somehow cool and calm above him. Eddie wanted to run a hand through his hair but he'd tied it up. He settled for picking at a fraying rip on his jeans. Cuffing… that’s practically. Nope. Not even gonna think it.

"We could keep it casual but exclusive. You do like it don’t you? That way we could do fewer barriers. It’s fun, Munson. Been real fun. So, let’s keep it going." Steve winked at him. No no. I am the winker. I’m the bad boy here. Who does he think he is? "I want more, but I like a little structure. And if true love shows up in between for either of us, we break it off. No hurt feelings."

"No hurt feelings? We’re just above tolerating each other as it is." Aren't we? I'm always teasing and pushing. Well, is that it? Is he finally pushing back? What's it gonna be, Munson, he asked himself. Take him seriously or… nah. Obviously more teasing. "Former fuckboy."

Steve snorted. "E-girl wannabe."

"Fantasy footballer.” Eddie stuck his tongue out. “Best you can do, without enough skill for a scholarship."

"Shows what you know. I still didn’t have enough cash to go to State, even with the scholarship."

Why lie about that? "That’s fucking bullshit. You’re a ‘Harrington,’ as in Harrington Law Offices with that, y'know. The awful jingle on the radio." Eddie snapped his fingers but couldn't remember it.

Steve’s face soured, and he slid off the countertop. "Disowned."

Okay. That. That I couldn’t have heard right. "Steve. Wait. What?"

Steve looked at him as though calculations were running through his head. "Not here," he jerked his chin out toward the backyard.

Eddie flicked the light on as they walked out. As soon as the door shut he launched what felt like the first of a few million questions he had. "Since when? Also who knows? And Steve, we can fill out a fucking FAFSA for you. Why not? You can still go to college, man."

Steve stuck his hands in his pockets and jumped a bit in place as though he'd experienced a chill. It wasn’t that cold outside, considering the time of year. "You got smokes on you,” Steve asked instead of answering one of Eddie’s many questions.

Eddie patted his pockets. "Fuck. The pack's in the van."

"That's fine." It didn't look fine. Steve rocked on his feet.

"You sure?"

"I wanted to go on HRT." Steve said, suddenly focused on his Adidas. "I wanted to transition."

Eddie looked over Steve. To his eye nothing had changed. His hair was a little long, but it wasn't as long as Eddie's. He knew Steve shaved all the time, but that was explained as a holdover from his swimming days, and of course now he knew how some of Steve's partners probably liked that but… trans? Eddie knew better. He already felt shitty for ‘looking’ for clues. It didn't matter how Steve presented now. If the 'he' wasn't good for him, she should be able to be a her.

Steve was nervously rambling a little. "Yeah, I won't exactly be treating you to too much if we do hook-up for the holidays. Why did you think I was here and not with my bio family anyway? Family?" He muttered, "this is what I’ve got."

“You want to transition." Eddie hated the disbelief betrayed in his tone as he made the statement. That’s not what he, she? he? needs from me right now. Fuck. Why'd he say wanted? Past-tense. What the hell happened?

Steve finally looked up and met Eddie's eyes. "I did. End of high school, I spoke to my doctor about it and was trying to start shifting the way I present, just a little and… And then I told them… Bye bye insurance, home, financing for college. I would have had to take out too much in personal loans." Steve had turned away from Eddie, head thrown back as he stared at the visible stars above them. "I didn't qualify for financial aid when I was with my folks. Luckily, the car was in my name, so I got to keep that. But… I was homeless for a little and…" Eddie walked around to Steve's front, an urgent need to be in his space. "I mean, I got out with a duffle bag."

Steve's hand went to his face in a gesture Eddie recognized. If he thought of his past battles or his losses, Steve always had to check his face to make sure the cuts had healed and the bruising had gone away. It 'grounded' him, Robin had once said.

That motion with that story. "They didn't," Eddie gasped. He held the hand on Steve's face with his own, gripping Steve's waist with the other.

Steve's big eyes met Eddie's. He whispered, "I can take a hit."

Eddie's eyes raked over Steve's face. He held him a little tighter. "You can dish ‘em out too."

"Not in that moment." Steve chuckled, and he let his hand leave his face. He shifted it to hold Eddie's hand and shrugged. "That's what he wanted. Restraining order with an assault charge strapped to it. Make things a lot easier to explain versus, 'I disowned my son because he was trying to be my daughter.' Easier for others to digest. Though, I guess they say whatever they want about me now." He shared the last piece of information as though he was contemplating it for the first time.

"Steve." Eddie dropped his hand and flung his arms around him, holding him as tightly as he dared. "I can't believe… this whole time you’ve been on your own like that. Who else knows? Why? You've never said."

Steve pulled back a bit to shake his head. "Eddie, you know why."

Because he would've had to have said why they did it. Explained. Eddie looked hard at Steve's saddened but resigned face. He thinks his plans for his future, including transitioning, died that night. Jesus Fucking Christ.

"Robin knows about everything. Dustin knows something happened and about my apartment. Hopper probably knows that I'm cut off and living independently, but he was a detective basically so..." Steve sighed, and Eddie watched him brace, as if he was waiting for some sort of rejection. "Now you know everything too," he said softly.

Eddie looked at Steve’s big eyes glistening magically like they did, even under the poor strength flood light in Dustin Henderson's backyard. Guess I was always kinda right. Eddie had privately believed that eyes so starry and big could only exist due to princess powers. His heart broke for the sweet princess in his arms. He couldn’t help but be reminded, standing in each other’s embrace, that Steve was very, very pretty.

He kissed him, and, at first, Steve tensed. Then he relaxed in Eddie’s hold, letting him kiss deeper. Steve’s lips were just as welcoming and sweet as the last time they’d kissed. Okay… Eddie had made a decision. I want this.

He let them part, stifling a little moan when he did. "’Cuffed’ or ‘exclusively hooking-up’ so shit isn’t so bleak with all that holiday Hallmark crap plastered everywhere. Whichever, whatever. I'm in. Okay?"

Steve bit his bottom lip and then ran a hand up the side of Eddie's neck. "Okay," he whispered back. They kissed again till Steve got anxious that someone might come out to get them.

Eddie felt as though he couldn't care less, but there was pie waiting inside to be considered.

…

"How's the apprenticeship going," Hopper asked.

Eddie was moments from taking a huge bite of pumpkin pie, but he set it down to answer Hopper. "It's fine, and no nights. So, in theory, I could gig again when I want to."

"You with a wrench seems like a menacing image," Hopper replied. Eddie knew him well enough now to know when he was fucking with him. He stuck his tongue out and went back to his pie. The mechanic apprenticeship was going well, they paid him to learn a trade. All in all, a good deal from where Eddie was sitting.

Dustin piped up. "You should see him with a guitar."

"Will you play some tonight," Mike asked.

There was a general begging from the table, and Steve appeared at his shoulder. He held out Eddie's keys that had been in his jacket pocket and dropped them in his lap. "He'll play. There's always a guitar in the van."

He knows me too well. "Fine. Yes, but a total of three requests only! And then whatever I want until I get tired. So you better get to brainstorming."

He returned with the guitar to find the family had split into teams.

Hopper, Joyce, and Mrs. Henderson requested 'Alice's Restaurant.' Eddie played a few rounds of the chorus for them. He didn't know the whole thing and didn't want to try. It was a goddamn long 'song.' His boys and Jonathan requested 'Hellraiser' next 'cause they were good like that. After came Steve, crouched on the rug between El and Max. He smiled wickedly up at Eddie.

"Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go."

"No," Eddie said firmly.

"Yes," hissed his traitorous audience.

But they cheered and he relented. Damn my vanity.

Steve watched intently when Eddie played. Even now, settled between the girls, he knew there was that spark between them as Steve watched him perform. Imparted in that instant was the knowledge of who would be following him home that night. It made it hard to focus, but Eddie managed to finish his requests and strummed through whatever came to mind afterwards. Everyone in the house had settled down, full and content. The evening was at an end.

…

There were plenty of hugs and 'happy Thanksgiving's' on the way out the door. Mike, Lucas, and Will were staying the night, and Jonathan had driving duty to ferry them back home in the morning. It gave Eddie the strong feeling his wishbone wish went through.

He put his guitar back into the van and waved at the Hopper-Byers group filling up their SUV. Steve leaned against his car as Eddie closed his back van doors.

"Angel, you having car trouble? 'Cause I never work on German automobiles." Eddie leaned back next to Steve. "But for you…" He made a show of looking Steve up and down, checking him out. "I could make an exception."

Steve fluttered his eyelashes and pushed up off the vehicle. "Mmm, lucky me." He dropped into his driver's seat and shut the door.

The hell? The car started but didn't move as Eddie walked to the driver's door, and peered in to see Steve smiling. Tease. He lowered his window and Eddie leaned down. "Your place or mine?"

"Yours?"

"Heads up. Nothing else is getting stuffed tonight baby." Ate too damn much.

"That's fair. But you forget… maybe I'm still hungry." Steve looked at Eddie's crotch and licked his lips.

The lethargy Eddie had felt after the pie melted away. Excitement pumped through his veins, waking all of him up. Fuck-buds for the holidays. Perhaps this is a brilliant idea.

He drove back to the apartment far too fast, grateful there were rarely cops on the back roads. Eddie locked his van, unlocked his door, and went straight to the bathroom to freshen up. He'd finished when he heard Steve knock and enter. He also heard the sound of the deadbolt turn.

He walked out of the bathroom and looked back over his shoulder at Steve standing in his little hallway. "Hey, do you want to change into something with an elastic waistband?"

Steve had a flirty little smile on his lips. "God, Munson. Where were you hiding that kink?"

Eddie smacked his lips, walked up, and slid his arms around Steve's waist. "Oh no. Sweatpants and a cock like yours? That's not hidden baby."

Steve pulled back Eddie's hair to rest his lips on Eddie's neck, just below his ear. "Then I'll have to slip into a pair."

He resisted the urge to do more in the moment, moving instead to the bedroom. Eddie rummaged in his drawers for a pair of promised sweatpants and threw them on the bed. Steve was just about to reach out and grab them when Eddie pressed up behind him. "Can I help you?"

"Now that you mention it, I could use a helping hand." Steve stood back upright and undid his jeans, letting Eddie help him push them down, followed swiftly by his underwear. Steve patiently stood still as Eddie eagerly pulled off his shirt and then his own. He left his pants on and wrapped one hand around Steve's chest, pulling their bodies close together. Steve angled his head back, seeking Eddie's lips as his free hand wrapped around Steve's hard cock.

Steve moaned as Eddie held him, jerking his cock, pressing his own denim covered erection against the bare swell of Steve's ass. His lips ranged over Steve's neck and shoulder, murmuring into his skin every promise he wanted fulfilled for Steve that night. "I want you to bust in my hand baby, feel it against my chest when your spine tingles, give you that release, let you melt back into me. You beautiful angel…"

Steve moaned, and Eddie tugged at a faster pace, keeping his hand at the same firmness. He wanted to wet it some but was loath to do anything that changed their position. Instead he sucked love bite after love bite onto Steve's shoulder. He let his short nails rake across Steve's chest and with a shudder and a cry, Steve came. Eddie drew up his hand to catch what he could, waiting for the last pulse of his cock before letting Steve go. Steve turned and sat on the bed.

"How did you make a reach around… Fuck.” Steve was flushed, his pretty lips wet and pink. "Eddie, my legs are literally weak."

Eddie could feel himself blush a little as he cleaned off his hand. "I didn't know that you would, dry… I, um. No shame in admitting it I guess…" He rubbed his hand across his mouth. Damn. Am I getting self conscious over my body count? "I've been getting cocks off for a bit now."

Steve looked up at him with big eyes and pouted. "Eddie. I'm still hungry."

Christ. Eddie unzipped and lowered his pants and underwear that time. Steve pulled Eddie's hips forward till he stood between Steve's knees. He ran his lips over the side of Eddie's cock. He teased the wet pleasure of his mouth by tonguing the whole of the underside of Eddie's cock, from balls to tip. Eddie flinched, fighting the urge to grab and manhandle Steve.

Steve seemed to know he was holding back. "You can put your hands wherever," Steve said sweetly. "I trust you not to choke me. Three taps for out, two for slow, one for keep going."

"You have been a naughty thing, haven't you? I'd've never guessed and now you’re sitting so pretty, holding my cock, telling me your non-verbal signals." Before Eddie could tease him more, Steve had wrapped his lips around Eddie's member and had half his length sucked into his mouth. Steve's mouth met with his hand around the base of Eddie's shaft.

Eddie's hand shot out and buried itself in Steve's luscious hair. Eddie held his head in place, so that he paused Steve's motion. He wanted to savor the depth a while longer, the tongue pressing against his cock. All fluctuating pressure and spit. He liked the precautions Steve had set up for himself. He wasn't as worried about gagging him when he started to lightly pull on Steve's hair. Eddie pushed his head forward and back at a varied pace. Steve's mouth slid and sucked obediently, focused on Eddie prompts.

"That's good baby. Who taught you to be so good," Eddie asked. Steve's eyes shot up to look at him. Light brown irises nearly imperceivable, Steve's pupils had expanded so much. They were a little teary too, making them glisten even more than normal.

Eddie couldn't tear his eyes off of Steve either. Mouth stretched, gazing up at him, so focused on his pleasure. So pretty and pink cheeked. "Lovely," he whispered. "You're so lovely, baby."

Steve kept going, and Eddie lost himself to the sensation. He kept his hand on Steve's head but let him continue at the depth and speed he'd last set. It was all consuming. Eddie barely recognized when it built so high he finally spilt over. The delight etched in his body in waves, as Steve sucked his release down.

Steve's voice was a little graveled when his mouth popped off of Eddie's spent cock. "You're teaching me gorgeous. You're teaching me how to be good for you."

Eddie felt like his heart stopped before pounding at high speed again in his chest. He leaned down and angled Steve's head up, index finger curled under his chin. Eddie kissed him softly. "Very, very good Stevie." Steve's face rapidly covered in a blush, and Eddie felt a grin spread across his own face.

They both put on sweatpants, Steve threw his undershirt back on, and then he lay down in Eddie's bed. Steve stayed the night.

…

Now that Eddie was looking for it, little pieces of dysphoria seemed to be everywhere.

The way Steve was always more comfortable with the girls than he’d been with his buddies on his sports teams. Those friendships hadn't stuck, but with Nancy and Robin... Steve talked to them on the daily. Any guy could be protective of his friends and kind to kids, but all the maternal jokes and the babysitter ribbing now sprang to mind. Any guy could care about his appearance and fuss with his hair, but now Eddie couldn’t help but think how proud and pleased Steve was over the length of his locks and look. Those things didn't make him a woman, they were just parts of Steve. Yet… don't those details mean a little more now?

Out of everything Eddie considered, if he knew anything about Steve it was that he would put aside his own discomfort and pain for others. The longer Eddie dwelled on the matter, the more he felt like it was deeply fucked that Steve had abandoned his transition. Steve had shoved it to the side as he worried about having to get by, and killing Vecna, defeating the Mind Flayer, and caring for the kids. How much of his stress had piled deeper? How much had he struggled with that core element of himself… herself?

When Eddie woke up with Steve still in his arms, sound asleep that Black Friday, he was determined to help her however he could. He hadn’t asked her yet about pronouns, but mentally he’d already made the switch. She deserved the help to be herself. I want her to be happy. I want her to feel whole.

Chapter continues *•.🍁.•* Keep reading on AO3

#steddie #eddie munson #steve harrington #ao3 fanfic #i write things #smut #eventual trans fem steve Harrington #future stevie Harrington #trans fems can be tops is this fics secret agenda #found family #thanksgiving #Steve's still hungry #coming out #happy ending #stranger things #the whole gang #cuffing season

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immortalecstasy-blog · 2 years

Text

You Took The Words Right Out Of My Mouth 18+

Chapter 17/23 Pairing: Eddie Munson / Chrissy Cunningam Need to catch up? Click Here for Chapter One

When Chrissy finally woke up, she was mute. People are sympathetic at first, but when she doesn’t magically get better, she slowly finds herself as one of the ‘freaks’. Lucky for her, there’s one freak in particular she really doesn’t mind finding herself beside.

Warnings: Slow Burn, Angst, PTSD, Chrissy still got attacked by Vecna but didn't die, Eddie still got mauled by bats but didn't die, Hurt/Comfort, Abuse.

By some miracle, the fact Chrissy Cunningham was now sitting on the freaks table didn’t blow up the universe as Eddie had expected. They still agreed that they wouldn’t sit next to each other, and once it circulated that Chrissy was tutoring Jane Hopper and fed up with the high-speed conversation of the other tables, it quickly dropped off the radar.

Eddie waited for weeks for Chrissy’s mom to find out, or to finally have had enough of Chrissy spending every evening anywhere but at home, but it seemed like as long as Chrissy came home before curfew and still made an effort to go to church each Sunday, on time and presentable, she could keep toeing the line for now. He still refused to admit he’d overreacted, but as the weeks went by the tension that knotted up his shoulders each and every lunchtime finally subsided.

Patrick’s autopsy results became public knowledge the second to last week of the semester. It had been a total accident. A change in medication without any clarifying instructions on the new dosage. Apparently his parents were going to sue. Chrissy still worried about her open gate, and while she mourned the tragic loss of Patrick she couldn’t help the relief that it hadn’t been intentional. An inability to cope with the aftermath of living as one of Vecna’s victims.

Chrissy had tried not to think about the one remaining gate, the wave of sinister whispering that followed whenever she slept. About the horrific conversation in Eddie’s truck. She had been reeling from the news about Patrick, the revelation about the gates, but she still felt ashamed of herself. She of all people knew what it felt like to lose someone you loved to suicide. The anger, the guilt, it stuck around. Inter dimensional portal or not, she would never put Eddie through that.

Will was constantly reassuring her that he couldn’t sense anything, Dustin carried a compass with him everywhere he went. Eleven had told them she was still regularly visiting Eddie’s old home in the trailer park, though no one had gone with her as she was combining checking the gate with a visit to Max’s moms. It helped Chrissy a little, but mostly it made her feel guilty. All of them were on edge. Eleven even more so, she looked beyond exhausted.

Chrissy’s ‘safe list’ of people she could speak around had been growing steadily over the last few weeks but knowing Patrick’s death had been nothing but a stupid accident, something so easily avoided somehow bothered her more than when she’d thought it had been intentional. She was the last one standing, not because Patrick couldn’t hack it and had left her with that burden, but just because some doctor hadn’t been totally clear on dosage. He’d left her with her lonely gate due to a god damn clerical error. Trying to speak once again felt like trying to breathe underwater and slowly it shrank to just Eddie and Dustin – and Marie if she ever called while Chrissy’s parents were out of the house and out of earshot.

She was so angry at herself that she could no longer master her voice around Steve that she simply tried to avoid him, leaving him to fend for himself. It was like it was the only emotion left. The anger. All the others had just been sucked away, leaving her rubbed raw and quick to lash out. The brunt of this fell on Eddie, and after three days of being snapped at for the slightest thing, his patience couldn’t stretch any further and he’d angrily fired back with what was possibly the worst thing anyone could ever say to her.

“You sound just like your mother.”

Yeah…

He’d regretted the words the moment they were out of his mouth, even if there was some truth to them. Chrissy’s cheeks had drained of all their usual colour first and then magically gone the opposite way, her whole face glowing red.

He wasn’t proud of it, but her frustration (at him at least) seemed to diminish after that, just a little.

It all came to ahead in Ms Kelly’s next session. Ms Kelly had been doing all she could to help Chrissy grow her list and get through her French exam and was visibly concerned when their session resulted in a wordless panic attack when Chrissy couldn’t get a sound past the lump in her throat. Not even a hum. Ms Kelly had told her to stop trying to force it, trying to sooth her when she became visibly distressed.

She couldn’t calm down. Couldn’t suck in enough air to try to regulate her breathing even with Ms Kelly’s expertise. This wasn’t like the panic attacks that accompanied the awful flashbacks. Something she could apply to logic to. She was scared she’d lose Dustin and Eddie too, that her voice would be gone for good. That no matter how much work she put in she’d be forever stuck scribbling on a whiteboard, struggling to catch up as each and every conversation passed her by. That, like the girls, they’d all grow tired of waiting.

By the time her lips had taken on a blue tint, the school nurse had been summoned and there was a debate going on over her head as to whether she should be sedated.

Chrissy learned later that Ms Kelly had called for Eddie over the school tannoy, but all she knew was that he was suddenly behind her on the floor in Ms Kelly’s office, his long legs spread either side of her as he put his arms around her tightly enough that she had no choice but to take shallow breaths, her ribs pushing back against his arms every time.

“It’s okay, you’re okay.” He kept telling her, his voice surprisingly calm, his hair tickling her cheek, his smell engulfing her.

She let out a sob that seemed to jump-start her lungs and took a shuddering breath, clutching onto his arms.

“That’s it, princess. Just breathe. Just like you showed me, okay?”

Chrissy nodded frantically, sucking in as much air as she could, her whole-body convulsing on every outward breath.

When her breathing had found it’s Hopper-approved rhythm the nurse asked something and attempted to hand Chrissy her whiteboard. Eddie snatched it from her and threw it down beside them with a glare.

That brief moment without one of his arms around her nearly set her off again, but then it was back, his mouth against her ear.

“It’s okay, I’m right here. You’ve got this.”

When she was calm enough, it was agreed they’d call her mom to come and get her rather than putting her through an afternoon at school. She hadn’t argued, but Eddie had asked them to call Joyce instead.

“Byers. You’ll have her number on file, for Will and El.”

“El?”

“Uh, Jane.”

“Eddie, we’re not allowed to just hand students over to just anyone.”

“Joyce isn’t just anyone.”

Ms Kelly had looked to Chrissy, who had nodded feverishly in agreement.

There was no offer of exempting him from his afternoon of classes. But he refused to go back to class until Chrissy was safely in Joyce’s car.

Even then, he didn’t rush back for the last fifteen minutes of his current class. Now that he didn’t need to keep his shit together for Chrissy, his hands had started shaking, and when he hid out in the boy’s restroom, his reflection in the mirror was deathly pale.

He could still feel her rapid heartbeat in his forearms, battering against her ribs like a hummingbird. No one had taken the time to tell him what had happened, but he could feel in his gut that this one was different. Vecna still visited her nightmares, but it had been weeks – months, even – since the memories of Vecna’s torture had incapacitated her like that.

They were supposed to be getting better. Everyone had said time would make it better.

He felt jittery, spun out. Vecna was fucking gone, and yet Eddie still felt powerless. He reached for his headphones, but his hands just clutched at hair and empty space. He’d left his bag in class, his Walkman nestled safely inside.

“Shit.” Eddie hissed. “Shit, shit, shit, shit… shit. Fucking – fuck.”

He tried to wash his hands, as if that would somehow calm him, but the restroom was out of soap and the water didn’t get hot enough to bring any relief. He dismissed the running water with a scowl, looking back into his own pale reflection. The bite marks the demobats had imprinted on his cheek, under his chin, down his neck. The deep purple bags under his eyes. The image of Chrissy’s eyes disappearing into the back of her skull with a sickening squelch. Her jaw snapping as she floated high above him.

Eddie lashed out with his fist, a spiderweb of broken glass spreading out where his fist met the mirror. But it didn’t distort the image. Chrissy fucking suffocating on the floor while the useless fucking school counsellor looked on. Just another spectator to all the bullshit Chrissy had to deal with.

Red was dead, whether anyone was ready to admit it or not. The others were gone, his beautiful, sweet, funny Chrissy left with the weight of it all on her tiny shoulders.

It wasn’t fair. God damn it. Why her? Why did Vecna have to go after her? Try to break her? Why did she have to carry the burden of having that last connection to that evil realm exist just because she was breathing?

Eddie hit the mirror again, the fragments cascading down, littering the floor at his feet, settling in the sink with a steady pulse of red droplets.

It didn’t even matter if the two of them would’ve come together without the bullshit of the upside down. If he had a choice he’d still pick a mostly happy Chrissy with that bullshit fucking wanker Justin over this hurting and suffering version of her that had chosen him. She didn’t deserve it. Any of it. She didn’t fucking—

Eddie’s fist came down on the sink and it made a valiant effort to stay glued to the wall. But his second swing – both fists this time – tugged it free with a shower of pink plaster dust and sent it soaring to the ground, where his shoes where ready to smash whatever gravity couldn’t. Hot water from the tap now free to pour straight onto the broken tiles beneath his feet.

The mirror, the sinks, the fucking dryer, all crumbled under his fists.

The cubicle put up a good fight, but he still managed to put a hole through it, tearing it away from the wall with a lot of effort and throwing it to the floor.

His mind flooded with the moment he had thrown the pushbike away and turned on the bats, throwing them to the floor, fighting back with every ounce of his being until his exhaustion, their sheer numbers, his incredible sense of failure and shame overwhelmed him. Distantly, as the cheap chipboard of the cubicle crumbled beneath his knuckles, he could see Dustin’s room. His guitar swung like a club into the record player, the wall, nothing but woodchips and twisted metal left.

His hands shook as he backed away from the destruction, falling back against broken tiles and sliding down to floor. Broken tile bit into his thigh, broken glass crunching under his sneakers. Blood or hot water or both soaking his jeans.

His hands wouldn’t stop shaking. Why wouldn’t they stop shaking?

His face stayed impassive as he examined his shaking hands, oblivious to the carnage around him.

“Stop.” He told his hands, “Please stop.”

Distantly, he heard the door opening, heard a confused murmur of voices, the splash of footsteps in the growing puddle of hot water.

He heard the conversation buzzing in the doorway without processing any of the content.

Then there was a louder, more dominant voice banishing the gossiping voices away.

His eyes focused long enough to see Mr Mundy, his math teacher, at eye level. Crouching in front of him.

“What happened here?” Mr Mundy asked. “Munson. Did someone do this to you?”

Eddie almost laughed, almost agreed. It would be easy to fabricate this destruction to some jock who had had enough of Eddie the Once Banished and decided to take justice into his own hands. He considered it for a moment. But none of the current jocks, the current basketball team… none of them deserved the blame for this.

Any chance at passing the blame vanished when Eddie raised his hands to cover his face, exposing his destroyed knuckles.

“I said get out!” Mr Mundy shouted towards the door, to the eager crowd of young men who had hoped to relieve themselves between lessons, or else seen the commotion and joined the gaggle of people to see first-hand what was happening.

“Munson. Talk to me.”

Mr Mundy stood up, turning off the tap, careful of the broken glass and ceramics, kicking away what was left of the plastic paper-towel holder.

Eddie shook his head.

“Eddie.” Mr Mundy sighed, exasperated. “You know the drill by now. We’ll figure it out. Might as well save us some time and let us know who— “

“I did it.”

“What?”

“It was me. No one… no one did anything.” He gestured vaguely to his wrecked hands and then to his face, which he assumed was free from any fresh marks. No bruising to indicate a fight anyway.

Mr Mundy’s jaw tightened, not through any kind of compassion or concern, but because this was the last thing he needed on his paygrade, between lessons. He let out an exasperated sigh that spoke a thousand words, ‘been here, done that. Done with your shit.’

His verbal lashing at the crowd had at least sent them all running for their next class, and so Eddie was spared the indignity of filling past a crowd. Not that he cared. But there was some small part of him that acknowledged the empty hallway as a good thing as he was led away from the restroom.

That small blessing vanished as he was parked unceremoniously in one of the ancient red leather chairs outside of the receptionist’s office. He knew all too well that through that door, behind her desk, the principal’s office sat, in power of them all. Strahd’s Coffins at the end of the maze of catacombs.

It didn’t take long for him to be summoned, barely anyone saw him sat waiting. Again, Eddie was vaguely aware that he should be grateful fate had spared him from the rumour mill. But he felt empty. He just didn’t care.

The last time he had felt like this, a shell that bore the physical appearance of Eddie Munson while the real Eddie Munson fought demons in another dimension, Chrissy had broken through. Spoken.

Eddie? Eddie look at me.

She’d dragged him back. Kissed him. Laughed at him. Had kissed him almost every day since. Trusted him. Loved him. How many times has she told him she loved him?

He still hadn’t said it back. Not really.

She deserved to hear it. It scared the shit out of him though. Scared him senseless that all they had was shared trauma and a desperate need for someone else to understand it.

They had been the only ones in the trailer that night. She was the victim, but Eddie has seen every bone snap, seen the light go out. Still marvelled at the fact she was alive when he revisited that night in his mind. Abandoning her. Running away. Leaving her alone for Wayne to find. Precious hours of medical help wasted because he’d ran scared. Hours more when Wayne too has assumed she was dead and gone. Some random ass police officer – he didn’t even know who – had checked for a pulse and freaked the fuck out, finally summoning an ambulance.

“Principal Higgins will see you now.” Said a voice, sounding irritated, like it wasn’t the first time they’d told him. Eddie shook his head, trying to banish the horrors.

He entered Principal Higgins office. All his usual bravado lost – not from some irrelevant restroom that now needed a refurb, or the sting in his hands, or the damp dripping from his jeans, but from the palpable feel of Chrissy’s erratic heartbeat, her sobs, his inability to fucking fix anything. He couldn’t save her from Vecna. Couldn’t save her from her mother. Hell, he couldn’t save her from herself.

“Mr Munson. You were on track to finally graduate and be out of my hair in less than two weeks. Explain yourself.”

Eddie’s heart sank even further. Any possible consequences had been the last thing on his mind. Hell, nothing had been in his mind. A dark blanket of white noise as he’d altered the landscape around him into one that fit. Broken. Desolate

There was nothing with which he could defend himself with. No spear, no shield, no hit dice. No Chrissy. No words. He couldn’t even clarify on the past tense, to confirm he had royally fucked up yet again.

After months of thinking he understood, he finally got it. The crippling and infuriating inability to put his vocal chords into working order. He felt sick. He wasn’t even able to pinpoint why. He’d been a failure enough times that not graduating was something he could deal with, even if was for the third time. He’d joked enough times about getting a GED – the standard of any qualification for a Munson. It’s only bothered him now because he was so close, had been so sure. It wasn’t that he’d be ‘letting himself down’, it was Chrissy. It was Robin. It was all the people who hadn’t been there the last two times. It was that Chrissy had broken today and for once he didn’t know why.

He finally tuned into the spit-flecked speech aimed at him when the word ‘expelled’ managed to get through the fog.

Then Ms Kelly had turned up. She rescued his chance to graduate. But she did so by describing, in detail, the extenuating circumstances surrounding his outburst. Leaving no doubt in anyone’s mind that he and Chrissy were not simply friends – and then when Ms Kelly told Principal Higgins that Chrissy had left with Joyce Byers, he hit the roof, demanding someone get Laura Cunningham on the phone.

When the call connected Eddie jumped out of his chair and pulled the chord from the phone. He quickly saw his newly instated chance at graduating disappear, but it didn’t matter.

“You can’t.” Eddie croaked, “please.” He couldn’t speak for himself, but he could speak for. Would always speak for her when she needed him to.

The look Principal Higgins flew him was so angry Eddie could almost feel a wave of heat flash across his face, like standing too close to a fire.

“Her mom just makes it worse.” Eddie explained pleadingly, “You know out of all the parents Joyce is the most equipped to handle something like this. You must see that, and – and – you just can’t. Chrissy’s mom is…” He paused. Knowing that if he portrayed her as the monster he was they would just see it as his own bad attitude. “Chrissy’s mom doesn’t know how to help her. She doesn’t understand it. Chrissy--- Chrissy went through hell, you don’t even know the half of it, and Joyce gets it. Please.”

“Be that as it may, Mr Munson. We have a duty to our students.”

“Chrissy isn’t a minor.” Ms Kelly interjected, and Principal Higgins turned his bulging eyes her way. “We have an obligation to do right by our students to the best of our abilities.”

The bulging eyes slowly retracted but he still gave off a palpable heat in his anger.

“It’s… it’s true, that during school hours we are… accountable for them. That we have a duty to look after them, that… that the rules are very strict about who can or cannot take guardianship of them… but… Chrissy is over eighteen, Joyce Byers lives with our Police Chief, and… and I agree with Eddie. It wasn’t in Chrissy’s best interests to call Laura.”

Eddie gave her a small nod of thanks, and Principal Higgins’s gaze pivoted back around.

“Give me that.” He snapped, gesturing for the phone chord in Eddie’s hand. Eddie handed it back.

It was then that Ms Kelly noticed the state of his knuckles.

“If we’re… if we’re done here Principal Higgins, I feel like I should escort Eddie to the nurse…”

Eddie nearly whistled, blown away by her nerves, and it fucking worked.

“That was brave as shit.” Eddie told Ms Kelly in a low voice after they’d left Principal Higgins’s office. Her mouth twitched, and he saw laughter dancing in her eyes but as they walked any humour he saw in her was sapped away. She turned to face him outside the nurse’s office, blocking the door.

“What happened today?”

“I… lost my temper? I didn’t mean to—”

“No, with Chrissy.”

“She had a panic attack?”

“Why? What happened?”

“She… I don’t know, you tell me.”

Ms Kelly scowled, “Relapses are common, they’re almost a rite of passage in the healing process, but I’ve never seen… I couldn’t calm her down.”

“Yeah well, you know, it’s a panic attack, it’s kind of the opposite of calm, right?”

“But you did.”

“Did what?”

“You got her to calm down.”

“Yeah, well, I know her. I… we…” Eddie breathed out from his nose. Words, Eddie. He licked his lips and looked down at his hands. His fingers were swelling up around his rings, he probably should’ve thought to take them off before now. “I have them to. Or… I don’t know. Something similar. That’s what – that’s what happened in the restroom, and she…” He paused again, and then shrugged, finally looking up to meet her gaze, and only then realising that he physically towered over her. Fleetingly, he wondered if that was weird for her, before casting the thought aside, “We help each other.”

Ms Kelly nodded and moved aside, “Get some ice on that hand, okay?”

Eddie had managed to force his rings off of his swollen fingers, quite literally by the skin of his teeth, and safely tucked them away in the pocket of his jacket. The nurse was quite sure he had fractured three of his knuckles and warned him that the swelling would get worse before it got better and to keep his hand ring-free for a while. She didn’t seem particularly affected when she explained this to him. Eddie wondered if that had anything to do with him tossing Chrissy’s whiteboard away earlier, essentially cutting the nurse off. But he couldn’t know for sure. Surprisingly enough, this was actually the first time he’d had to be under her care.

He was still frazzled when he was dismissed, and again chose to wait for the current class to end. Excusing himself by reasoning that he didn’t want to interrupt a class to collect his abandoned bag.

By the time he’d collected his bag between classes, there was only one class left of the day and his hand had started to throb, so he called it a day. Knowing it was an incredibly stupid decision given the fine line he was walking, but also knowing the class would do nothing for him, nothing would go in, and he wanted to check in on Chrissy. No, he needed to. He needed to understand what had happened.

#hellcheer #fanfiction #eddissy #eddie munson #st fanfic #eddie x chrissy #stranger things #chrissy this is for you #st fanfiction #chrissy cunningham

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flaray25 · 2 years

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It's been so long since I missed this ask box. Here's a question for you Octipus, How many in a total SpongeBob AUs do you have? and if you have so many why don't you explain them? I like lores so please do.

SURE THING! Actually i have so many... MANY AUs ive created. Give me a moment.

Detective partners, vampire au, the badass savage bob, future au, changed au, yandere au, soft universe (softbob), forced family au (abusedbob), flowers au, agent au (seriousbob who is rich but yeah doesnt tell anyone), mermaid au, the end of his (error), the death of spongebob (ghostbob which is pending because i have it on tumblr for askings but was moved to wattpad since i dont do the asks anymore), spongetale(soldierbob,poetrypatrick and prince tentacles which i publish stories still going on wattpad), and switched universe, past au, toh au which is the owl house, extraordinary au, covered au, the other future au, Zombie Apocalypse au, Legendary au, Stoned au

Extra ordinary au

Its an au of soongebob and his friends are in college where he is a freshman there

Also ZU

Zombie universe

I made so many plots of this au and still working on it. So like basically a random person visits in the town of bikini bottom. Offers the people some yummy cake just (take it as a nutshell) so everyone eats it. Except for pearl, larry, puff, krabs, plankton whatever others. Spongebob who woke up middle of the night had noticed the town gone crazy and decide to pack his things. So he's with the civilains crew now. Sandy cant lead so she takes a choice to give her leader role to Spongebob. Sb did take the job seriously and yeah he has been serious from now. And squidward isnt there he is on his own house living there and eating food to survive ehhh pretty much thats it. Squilliam is loyal and trustworthy as he has a scar on his eye, patrick and sandy are spongebob's follower.

Detective partners au

Its an au where spongebob is in disguise as a non recogniced man so in that au squidward doesnt know that his partner is actually spongebob in disguise

Vampire au

Its an au where spongebob got bit by a vampire. He never wanted to hurt anyone while he's turning to one. It started just night. Squidward and spongebob are walking home. A vampire is about to attack squidward until spongebob stepped and took the hit just to save squidward.

The badass savage bob au

Actually this is his alter ego. Take the hatred words to him too far then you'll taste the dirt.

Future au

So spongebob and squidward are like married now. Um so like the ships i like are basically just dating and working successfuly on their jobs.

Changed au

Spongebob like- realize how much happiness he had and saw people on the other side that made him get it that. "You cant always be happy everyday" thats where he noticed that everyday he smiles the day he feels bored. So Squidward seeing how much Spongebob doesnt smile alot makes him miss it.

Yandere au

So this is like spongebob being a yandere squidward is his senpai and squilvia is like inlove with squidward so he cliche killed squilvia and says to squidward ohhh you're all mineeeeee

Soft universe au

Spongebob is- softie. Such as everyone too

Forced family au

This contains abused bob

Its where his foster parents took a visist and saw how much he changed and was disgusted. They decided to change his style, his personality, and his life. So if he talks back to his parents in return they give him a bruise.

Flowers au

This is like flowerfell (its like from undertale but a flowerfell au where frisk got toxic flowers and sans the one who cries telling her not to disappear)

Agent au

Spongebob using his personality wisely he never tells everyone that he is really rich. He doesn't tell them that he has another job working as an agent.

Mermaid au

Spongebob is a mermaid, patrick is a mermaid too, squidward and sandy and also plankton are human pirates. So- plankton is the captain, sandra is the one who check maps and uses her telescope, and squidward is just the one who cleans up the boat floor, make food, and basically trying to catch fish on the net to eat. Meanwhile in the mermaids. Spongebob is a prince mermaid, patrick is a prince too (patrick and spongebob are both siblings in this au) so his father is the king ruler. The kind one ruler perhaps heheh. Patrick gets pretty bored and lazy but he plays the act of happy when he's around with the mermaids praising him. Spongebob on the other side. He feels sick of just smile wave and talk to the mermaids he just wants to explore, as he explores away and away from the ocean. He caught a glimpse of an anchor there he followed the chains up to the surface. And as he reached it, he saw people with feet and he was pretty shocked. His father never told him to be aware of humans. Plankton noticed him and takes the spear and tries to aim him. He got a small cut on his left cheek but it didnt matter. He almost fled until squidward pulls out the fishing net and throws it to the ocean. There spongebob was caught and it was too late. Above water. His fishtail transformed to human legs. And there he was scared of them. The three of them looked at spongebob stunned and puts him some clothes on. Squidward who felt like there was a light. Or atleast he thought it was nothing. Asks him his name. He says that his name is Robert Martin. Squidward looked at Spongebob with a cocked eyebrow and just told him that he'll start working to what's best that makes him feel interested. Spongebob says cooking and Squidward doesnt trust him. So his father king and his brother patrick is aware and wants to bring prince spongebob back.

The end of his

This is an au of Error Bob

Its where he fell asleep and woke up in a black void with fear and panic. In the town at reality they noticed Spongebob is missing for a week now. Squidward is worried sick. He falls asleep and was awoken by Spongebob's voice. He stands up seeing a complete empty black void and he met spongebob and the black void changed to white. Spongebob's eyes turned different colors and his body glitching since he had stayed to the void for tooo long.

The death of spongebob

This is Ghostbob! An au where i created his ghost form.

So squilliam rants to spongebob. Spongebob comforts him. They both say their goodbyes and also squilliam saying thank you. Spongebob stopped for a moment and saw a boatmobile speeding up and then he pushed squilliam aside and then he died. As he's dead now and so alone. A friendly angel gave him a task which could only do it by once. Its where to do their last wish and things they havent done before they go. So spongebob was upset that he knows he needs to confess his love for squidward. The angel told him that he only has up to 5 days. Spongebob accepts and gets put down back on the town. :D

Spongetale

I actually have this fanfic on my wattpad.

Spongebob is a soldier

Patrick is a poetry

Squidward is a prince

Sandy is an assasin and an inventor

Plankton is a chef or butcher whatever

Karen is a cooker/baker

Krabs is a janitor

Switched Universe

Its a future where squidward and squilvia got married and have a daughter and Spongebob moving on his dream and works as a manager and a famous worker in bikini bottom.

Past au

Its an au where spongebob gets bullied in his school year alot and used to have a boyfriend named jessie. He has three siblings too.

The owl house spongebob au

Its just an au of-

Spongebob is luz

Squidward is amity

Sandy is willow

Patrick is gus

Squilliam is hunter

The other future au

This is the one au i've made since 2021 and i started it off as a thought and made their actual changed personalities in the future. This au is called "The other future AU" this au is where Squidward continues off his move with his friend Squilliam together at bass vegas. After one year, everything began to change. Sandy is with her girlfriend Karen, they both are in texas. Plankton and Krabs called a truce for both of them. Patrick and Mindy are married and both work for Patrick's show. Patrick is smart now yay. Spongebob owns the krusty krab, eugene quits the job and gives it to Spongebob because he's old. Spongebob changed into a mature young man. He works hard and always there for his friend Patrick. (He had grown hair he never cuts it so he makes a bun) Squidward on the other side is with Squilliam. They both got to know each other very well. Squidward changed into a better person (i kind person). Squilliam is a nice person now and a bit impatient. Squidward and Spongebob realise that they both cant do it without the ones they both missed. It's being together but they are both far away. (They both text but they both cant call) Three years later, Squidward decide to visit bikini bottom. Spongebob is taking a walk around bikini bottom, until the both of them met in person.

Extra ordinary AU 2003 (exact actual ages were calculated)

Just where Spongebob in his first freshman college. (Patrick and him are room mates. So they both have their friendship together for years.) He met Squidward at art class and tries to talk to him in music class. Mindy(the princess) is the principal's daughter. Sandy is on the other dorm and just close to spongebob's and Patrick's the three of them always hang out during breaktime. Karen (the computer wife) works as the one who deliver foods to the cafeteria seats. Plankton is the one who cooks, mr krabs is a janitor. His daughter pearl is on her 8th grade learning together with her friends.

Legendary au

(spongebob is the goddess of loyalty)he knew that he has powers when he was 4 so he played it carefully and not wanting anyone to see it but Patrick finds it out anyway but he doesnt tell anyone and he keeps it a secret too. Spongebob grew up and tried studying mythology until he found a dusty book that fell from the top of the bookshelf. He took more research in the book thats where he found one page that looks familiar. A symbol that matches on his left wrist. It took him just a moment and now that he found out that he is the goddess of loyalty, he couldnt believe it since the goddess of loyalty and the magic that the goddess had disappeared thousands of years ago and its supposed to be impossible since it is a myth. Spongebob believed it was true because it is possible, he has his powers that humans doesnt have. He kept the book and saw some news that people randomly disappear one by one the journalist perch says that it could be a new villain that everyone would fear. They all know that there is no hero and the hero doesnt exist spongebob certainly knows that he is the hero or aka chosen hero or whatev. Spongebob tells to patrick about this situation and he helps. So spongebob trained how much powers he has and abilities stamina or how much fast he can fight its like martial arts whatevs so ye. Bonus+ the villain of this au is mindy who is controlled by the goddess of evil Hecate

Stoned au

Spongebob is petrified ever since man ray shot him. Squidward's appearance are changed and like a new person. He and Sandy are trying to experiment to have a de-petrifying potion for Spongebob.

Those are the total i have in mind. Im kind of an au lore maker sooo. I might tell you if i have a new sb au coming up but still. Your jaw might drop because i have this many in my mind.

#spongebob #squidbob #spongebob squarepants #squidward #spongeward #writing #squidward tentacles #spongebob au #au #alternate universe #au lore #lore #alternate universe lore #sb lore #spongebob lore #fandomizer25

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cardioking · 8 months

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Donovan Patrick Lewis

Nicknames: Don, Donny, DP, Jackass

Birthday: May 15th

Occupation: Cardiothoracic Surgery; Head of Cardio

Significant Other: Elaine Sawyer

Children: Three Niblings he has raised for the last few years

TW: DEATH, CAR ACCIDENT, DRUG OVERDOSE, ABUSE

Donovan Lewis was born the oldest of two children to rich parents. While they weren’t the best at being doting parents, their children never went without anything. Anything they wanted was theirs for the taking. When Donovan graduated high school and announced his intentions to study to be a surgeon, his parents paid for all of his schooling, leaving him free of student debt.

While he was making a name for himself in the medical field, his sister was becoming a housewife to a man who was not a good person. He eventually left after having an affair with another woman, leaving Donovan’s sister to raise three children under the age of 4 on her own with no real life skills. Thanks to their father owning his own business, she was hired on as a secretary and made her way up the chain.

Donovan did his residency at Johns Hopkins where he met Elaine Swayer. He was a few years above her in schooling and when she was assigned to him as an intern, they found themselves particularly close and eventually entertaining each other outside of the OR as well.

This fling went on and off for a while until one day Elaine let him know that she had met someone and was getting married. Considering they had no strings attached and no real feelings, the only thing that disappointed him was that he wouldn’t have the amazing times in the bedroom with her anymore.

He made do, however, until a few years down the line his parents passed away in a horrible car accident. They left close to a billion dollars behind - thanks to his father owning several car dealerships - that was to be split between the siblings. The only catch for Donovan, however, being that he had to be married for a full year to get his share. His parents put this stipulation in as they were afraid he was too devoted to his work, and they didn’t want him to end up alone all his life.

The first person who came to his mind was Elaine. If anybody was going to be on board with a fake marriage, it would be her. So he called her up and after she ‘tied up loose ends’ the two were in a courthouse signing the papers for a marriage certificate.

When the year was up, Donovan kept his end of the bargain, giving Elaine a decent chunk (several million dollars) of his inheritance, and the two quietly and amicably divorced. During this time, Donovan was back in his hometown, where he received the news that his sister had died of a drug overdose. Losing their parents had affected her worse than he realized. It didn’t help that he was busy with his own life and hadn’t checked in much on her.

He didn’t know until this moment that he was named as being the legal guardian of the kids if something should happen to his sister. After a long court battle during which it was established his ex-brother-in-law was abusive and had abandoned the children years ago, he was able to legally take them as his own.

Wanting to get away from his hometown and give the kids a new change of scenery, he accepted a job offer from Seattle Grace Mercy West. It had been an easy decision to move, and while they’d pushed back at first, his nieces and nephews eventually agreed. Now, he’s been here for the past couple of years and now that he’s working under Elaine, he finds their friendship is just as strong as ever. And it doesn’t hurt that they both enjoy torturing other doctors.

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anthonysstupiddailyblog · 2 years

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Anthony’s Stupid Daily Blog (170): Thu 1st Sep 2022

Today was playday with Luna. As soon as she arrived she asked me if we could go to the park so all the plans I had made for today instantly went out the window since she'd already decided the itinerary for the day (But it was probably more beneficial for her to do this because my plans were to get her to draw while I watched TV all day). Luckily it was a nice day so it was the ideal weather for a trip to the park. As soon as she got there she wolfed down a full bag of crisps and drank a full bottle of juice and then insisted on going on the little chair that spins around. I was worried she was going to puke but by the end of it I was the one who needed to sit down as I genuinely felt like I was going to be violently ill. The swings have ben pulled off their chains presumably by little shithead youths who are too old to be in the play-park (or possibly more depressingly, some scorn filled adult who's still bitter about his parents not letting him play on the swings when he was a kid who has damaged these swings out of spite). You know how we have bouncers outside nightclubs checking people's i.d's to make sure they're old enough to get into the clubs. Well why don't we have bouncers outside parks checking to make sure the kids are young enough to play on them. I think that after reaching the age six most kids stop seeing the allure of the play-park as this is when they discover TikTok and knives so there's no reason for anyone over the age of six to be going into one of these parks. Later on in the day I got an idea for my latest comic strip. I find that if I sit down and try to think of an idea for a strip it either doesn't happen or I come up with so many shitty ideas that I go with the first half decent one just to fool myself into thinking I haven't wasted the day. However occasionally an idea for a strip will just form from nowhere in my head as was the case with today's edition:

Tuned into tonight's Hollyoaks and man there are so many new characters and I have no idea who the fuck they are. Man it's shocking how much a show can change when you stop watching it for...four months. One funny moment came when Maxine was talking to Vicki, Scott's new foster daughter about her boyfriend mistreating her. Vicki said that he's not all bad and that he makes her laugh. Maxine shot back that this was no excuse as her old husband Patrick who abused her was also funny. Umm, no he wasn't he was a psychotic cunt. I asked on Twitter for anyone who remembered Patrick being in the show to let me hear their top five funniest Patrick moments. One person replied that there was an episode where Patrick accidentally drank a spiked drink and started doing a funny dance. I don't think that you can say that someone's behavior while having an adverse reaction to being poisoned with a psychedelic drug is indicative that they are funny. If this were the case then women who insisted that an ideal partner should have a good sense of humour should just pick any man off the street, secretly give him LSD and wait for the laughs to start. Later on in the episode we got a few scenes with Grace and Cindy who are friends now for some reason that I couldn't be bothered to look up. There was a moment where Grace was telling Cindy that she was thinking of doing a theme night at The Loft. suggested that the theme should be "2009" since this was the last time anyone gave a shit about The Loft. In the original Tweet I accidentally referred to The Loft as "The Lift". Gave me an idea for a nightclub that is in an actual lift. Every time the lift goes up the DJ plays "Straight Up" by Paula Abdul and when it goes down it plays "Down Down" by Status Quo.

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solatgif · 2 years

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TGIF: Roundup for June 17, 2022

Hanley Liu and P. J. Tibayan were featured speakers at the 2022 SBC Pastors’ Conference! Preaching from Colossians, Hanley proclaimed The Supremacy of Christ Over All Things and P. J. exhorted us to Discern and Deny Christ-marginalizing Ideas.

Our Asian American Leadership Conference recap video is now on YouTube! Photos can be found on Instagram, and you can find more on the conference website. Videos of our main sessions and special interviews are coming soon.

Our monthly newsletter features our most popular resources. Read it now and join for free. Check out my Asian American Worship Leaders Facebook group and TGIF Playlist on Spotify. You can reach me on Twitter and Instagram.

We thank God for TGC, SOLA, KALI, and the inaugural Asian American Leadership Conference! Watch our recap video on YouTube.

Articles From Around The Web

Deborah Netburn: Q&A: Talking about the Southern Baptist sex abuse scandal with Pastor P.J. Tibayan

P. J. Tibayan was interviewed by the LA Times and linked to his SOLA article: An SBC Pastor’s Response to the SBC’s Sexual Abuse Task Force Report.

Faith Chang: Come, He Needs Nothing From You

“This is a tender, holy, freeing truth. That he who made all things, owns all things, and doesn’t use his creation to supply his needs. Rather, he is ever the gracious Giver, ever the joyful Benefactor in our relationship, the Source of life itself.”

Daniel K. Eng: Why and How I Preach Without Notes

“Remember, it’s not the lack of notes that counts. For sermon effectiveness, it’s the principles behind this practice that make a difference. Fellow preachers, let’s work at our craft so that God can change the lives of our hearers.”

Follow us on YouTube to stay connected with us! Interviews, podcasts, conference messages, and more. You can also find us on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter.

Books, Podcasts, Music, And More

9Marks: On the History and Usefulness of Puritan Paperbacks

The Puritan Paperback books from Banner of Truth are timeless classics. Listen to this new 9Marks Pastors Talk episode featuring Jonathan Leeman, Patrick Daly, Ligon Duncan, and Nick Roark.

Crossway: Full Audiobook: ‘Why Should We Love the Local Church?’ by Dustin Benge

Dustin Benge—an associate professor of biblical spirituality and historical theology at SBTS—urges Christians to embrace the church—the holy assembly of God’s redeemed people—exploring the many things that make the church “lovely” in God’s sight, despite its shortcomings.

Aaron Lee: Related Works

Book Reviews: The Air We Breathe by Glen Scrivener, 12 Things God Can’t Do by Nick Tucker, He Will Be Enough by Katie Faris. Listen to our TGIF playlist on Spotify. Join my Asian American Worship Leaders Facebook group.

Check out our Family and Relationships collection, featuring 9 of our most recent articles. Thank you for supporting our work at SOLA Network!

Featured This Week On SOLA Network

Daniel K. Eng: Choose For Yourself: Joshua’s Message for Dads

“God is calling those who influence their homes to lead with conviction and courage. The Heavenly Father, from whom every family derives its name (Ephesians 3:14), deserves all loyalty and worship.”

Tom Sugimura: Fathers, Lead the Way: Reflections Before Father’s Day

“Fathers, you will have no greater joy than leading your children to Jesus and bringing them up as his disciples. This is successful parenting: To dedicate your children to the Lord, then teaching, training, and guiding them on the path that they must walk.”

Karisa You: A New Year’s Love Story: Sharing Christ’s Love with International Students

“God calls us to play a beautiful role—teaching others about Christ and being His hands and feet to a world where He seems invisible. We share about Jesus and love people through generosity and sacrifice, but God alone has the power to change hearts.”

Hannah Chao: Addressing the Southern Baptist Sexual Abuse Scandal

“We encourage you to read both articles to get a better sense of what is happening in the SBC and how we can pray for our brothers and sisters in the faith.”

TGIF: Roundup for June 10, 2022

Like & Subscribe for a Chance at Eternal Life / Fighting Evil with Evil in the Multiverse of Madness / Letters from Lockdown: A Shanghai Pastor on Pandemics and Persecutions

General disclaimer: Our link roundups are not endorsements of the positions or lives of the authors.

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oskarwing · 3 years

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I really wanna talk about the parent child relationships in Midnight Mass

I’m not sure if I’m good at writing this sorta Meta but here goes nothing. Very many spoilers follow.

Let’s start with the adults:

First we have Erin who suffered so much at the hands of her mother and later because of her mother’s abuse. We don’t get much detailed info on Peggy Greene but from what we can gather she was a lot like Beverly Keane, who seemed to idolize her (though that probably got easier for her after Peggy was gone), in her self-righteous over-pious manner. She just happened to be Beverly with an alcohol problem and a daughter who she could take all her anger at life for not working out her way for God loving her just the same as everybody else out. The dove scene is really such a good scene. But Erin was stronger than her mother, stronger than the abuse that was about to repeat itself and when she found out that she would have a child of her own she left and tried her best to give her kid a better life than the one she had. And she found the strength I think with the help of the same God her mother most likely used as legitimation for her abuse (don’t get me wrong I believe it was Erin’s own strength but she also clearly found something in religion that helped her gather it) and it helped her to carve out a path for herself and her unborn child.

Sarah’s relationship to her parents is such an interesting one because we get to see the end of it. The man who she believed to be her father has been dead for a long while and her mother is suffering through the late stages of dementia. And Sarah showed up for it. As a doctor she most likely knew what would be happening as soon as Mildred started to show the first symptombs but she wasn’t going to leave her mother. That kind of care for an elderly parent shows something that is proven in Mildred’s character time and time again: She is a very devoted parent and the love between mother and daughter flows both ways in every scene they are in together, after the birth of her daughter her world turned around Sarah and she loved her with all she had. There are a few scenes that show that Mildred’s understanding of the duty she felt towards her family came from the old values of her time. She wouldn’t have taken off with John and their child not for a lack of love but because in those times, in catholism still at least where I’m from, you can’t just marry a priest. You can’t just have a child with a priest eventhough you’re married and then fuck off with him. As a woman, as a wife and mother you have to stand with your husband, stand with your child and you have to stop running after fantasies I’m sure Mildred had. I’m saying this all from her perspective btw, I don’t necessarily think running away with John, in the way he wished to, would have been good for Sarah but honesty might have been and her old fashioned values were also what kept her from being truly honest with her daughter. To John on the other hand Sarah is a fantasy, a dream he couldn’t reach. His daughter, his baby, so close and yet so far away getting to watch her grow into an adult but never being able to really be her father as in her Dad instead of her priest. And it’s painful to him, he clearly loved Mildred, loved Sarah but he was also kinda selfish in his love that in the end took Sarah away. At first he isolated his child by starring at her giving her the creeps and the feeling that she had done something wrong that he knew she was gay and dissaproved and then he took it upon himself to ‘cure’ Mildred in the same way he was. Sarah wanted to take care of her mother wanted to be there for her in those final months and John decided it was up to him to give Mildred a youth potion to make it so she’d never die. And with that he took away from Sarah what is without doubt a hard but for many people a very important last part of the relationship between child and parent. John was a complicated man and would maybe have been a great Dad he certainly showed a lot of fatherly love for his altar boys but he couldn’t have the family in the way he fantasized about and in the end it was that fantasy that made him act the way he did.

Riley Flynn causes his parents a lot of pain. Him killing that girl in the beginning, his alcoholism, him simply not liking the place, the home they build for themselves through hard work causes the Annie and Ed so much pain and financial loss and you can see how tired they are, how much guilt they feel for failing their son. Ed calls out his own guilt and says that he doesn’t belive it could be Annie’s fault because ‘your mother’s a saint’ but what I truly love about Annie and Ed Flynn is that they both aren’t saints. As a mother Annie is very much overprotective and suffocating, wanting to keep her children on crocket island and hating the notion that they might leave her, even though she is kind and sweet and loving. And while Ed seems rather checked out as a father but he is the more honest parent, never talking down to Riley and telling him as it is, telling him about the pain he caused him while also admitting to the guilt he feels. The Flynns are flawed people even in their religious practice (I think the way Annie speaks about Ali showing up at church when Hassan seemed to be nothing but nice to her spoke very loudly to the fact that Annie is rather misguided sometimes) but they are good people at the core of it and their parenting might have been part of Riley’s way into alcoholism but it wasn’t only them. There were things they couldn’t change and things they had no influence over like his heart being broken by Erin running away, the sort of people he went out on parties with and so many other things... Yes, they may have shaped their son in a way that made him vulnerable to addiction and the party scene of the stock and tech market and brought him to the point where he killed a child but it doesn’t happen through parenting alone and they also shaped him in the good ways. Him not losing himself when Pruitt changes him, him being brave enough to warn Erin, him standing up for what he believes in those things were also shaped by Ed and Annie. They are one of the best example of flawed but good hearted Christians I have seen in recent media and their portrayal was one of the most heartbreaking ones.

Now the kids:

Let’s start with Leeza. Little Leeza Scarborough who before it comes to her wonder gets treated with pity and overprotectiveness from her parents and the island community at large. Leeza was injured by Joe Collie transforming him into the island’s villain and her into the ever present victim. What happened to her is without a doubt horrible and I understand why Wade and Dolly started to become these overprotective parents, why they were so easily sucked in to John’s and Bev’s scheme. Their little girl was almost taken from them eventhough Wade is the mayor, one of the most powerful people on the island he had no influence over what happened to Leeza even was the one who took her out that day and what followed the accident was as we can gather from their conversation with Sarah a lot of pain and financial burden though they say they would have done it all over for Leeza. In fact a lot of places in crockett island are wheelchair accesible and I am sure that Wade as mayor made it so (I can’t really imagine that a small place like the island was very inclusive though I may be wrong). After Leeza is healed they don’t want to question in don’t want to think about what might have been the cause for it. In fact they stop questioning anything after that point, after Leeza walks again they are completely vulnerable to Bev’s manipulation and them letting that happen, them just going along with everything, Wade protecting John after he kills Joe long after Leeza forgave him and with her forgiveness send Joe on a better path is what in the end makes them lose her. Because Leeza isn’t that little victim who needs pity and help, she is a strong minded, strong willed young woman with a lot of wit who similar to Erin finds strength in her faith but in a way that isn’t devotion without question and when the Easter vigil is held she doesn’t follow her parents eventhough she loves them deeply. She forgives them I think, because that’s what Leeza’s character is about in it’s core but her parents were two of the instigators behind what happened on the island, without Wade’s protection John and Bev couldn’t have come as far as they did and they put their trust in them because they loved their daughter so much they didn’t stop to question if maybe what made Leeza walk again was also a bad thing.

Ali and Hassan don’t have it easy and I as a white person really can’t speak much on the racism and religious discrimination they face. I can say this I think: The first line spoken about Ali before we even really get to look at him is “You didn’t invite Aladin” and already sets us up for what both of them know: They are the outsiders. Not only because they just moved to the island but also because in their faith they are different from their peers and religion can often be a community building event for people before it is anything else. Ali starts balming his father a little for that, for not trying to fit in more with the community, for moving after his mother’s death and then not trying to be closer to the people around them and for the pain all the pain the two of them went through before Crockett island. It isn’t oly peer pressure though of course that brings Ali to St Patrick’s. Sure, Ali wanted to be part of the community but also desperately wanted to believe that there was a devine power who could if he just did it (it meaning faith) the right way he might find a way to avoid the pain of his parents. Hassan knew that and he warned him that that wasn’t how it worked. Hassan was a protective Dad and maybe he overdid it from time to time but his worries were never without reason, his need to keep his son safe from a world that hated him for a crime that happened when he wasn’t even born yet never unfounded and him wanting to make sure his kid kept the memory of his mother alive never anything but the wish of a griefing man and loving father. In the end when they pray together there is peace in them. They face their ends with the dignity Ali’s mother would have wished for and they face it as father and son. While Beverly the true religious terrorist of the story burns away without it.

Warren is the youngest Flynn and it is never directly stated yet omnipresent that his coming of age happens in the shadow of his older brother’s mistake. Annie warns him away from drinking when he goes out he in fact doesn’t drink. He never drinks because of what his brother did. Warren would have been 12 when Riley killed that girl and so he would have seen and felt what his brother’s actions did to his parents fully without being yet old enough to maybe see the nuance. Annie and Ed probably try to right the wrong they believe to have done in parenting Riley with Warren and that’s a lot for a kid. I do think it’s pretty usual that parents of multiple children especially when there’s a larger age gap try to do better with the younger children, but that isn’t fair is it? Warren is his own person not a second chance to do it over. And yet seemingly he does what is asked of him. He’s alter boy, he’s charming and helpful and sweet, he doesn’t drink (even when he does smoke pot) and he helps his father where he can with his work. But in the end he feels guilty because he thinks he wasn’t enough and says at that last dinner he would have been different if he had known he wouldn’t see his family again. But Leeza is right they know and they love him and Warren deserved to not be perfect all the time.

Littlefoot saved Erin and Erin payed her back with all the love she had. She was never born but she gave her mother the strength and willpower to leave. In her speech to Joe Leeza said he reached through time and took things from her she didn’t even know she had yet.When Erin left her husband she reached through time and saved Littlefoot from a childhood like hers and when John gave Erin the angel’s vampire’s blood he reached through time and took away her child, a child who would have been loved and cared for. A child with an amazing mother and probably a great step-dad. Littlefoot’s story is tragic because she never got one.

#midnight mass #midnight mass spoilers #parents in midnight mass #I dunno man I just really love how they showed all these examples of parents

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hageny · 3 years

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Succession Thoughts: Gerri x Roman

AN: The first point in this post was requested by @thinkingfixatingobsessing, so credit goes to her for the idea.

WARNING: Mentions of child sexual abuse in point one.

1. What In Here is Real?

A lot of fans tie Roman’s ‘dog cage’ experience to his adult need for degradation, and certainly there is a valid reason. The murky circumstances surrounding the incident(s) in his childhood--Roman remembering being forced; Connor and Kendall remembering him liking it; Connor remembering what their father said about “two fighting dogs” in relation to the incident--make it difficult to say how much of what Roman remembers is real and how much is his emotions skewing his memories. What is totally overlooked is the scene above, which takes place in Austerlitz. The family has just arrived at Connor’s ranch for the not-so-optional family therapy session when Roman says something very interesting to Connor, telling him that he plans to tell Alon Parfit, the group’s therapist, that Connor molested him as a child. Given Roman’s ‘dog cage’ revelation only one episode later, it struck me as very interesting that Roman makes a joke about what is for many a deep, childhood trauma. Now, I should clarify, I don’t believe Connor in any way abused Roman, and it seems fairly obvious Roman was just doing this for shock value, but there is a point to be made here. It seems pertinent to ponder whether Roman’s ‘dog cage’ experience could tie into a deeper, darker truth in his childhood. Maybe it’s possible that Roman actually did go into the cage willingly, and to some degree submitted--as much as someone who is emotionally/mentally abused as a child can--to his siblings’ game. All of them being children themselves, they wouldn’t have had the insight and maturity to understand his behavior was abnormal. What we do know of Roman’s experience is that it caused him to start wetting the bed, and he was eventually sent away to St. Andrews; again, he thinks this occurred against his will, Connor says he went willingly. What is interesting his Roman’s description of the effects of the ‘dog cage’ incident closely aligns with what may happen to a child who is molested. As Roman puts it, “Kendall locked me in a cage, I went weird, I started wetting the bed, and that’s why dad sent me away to St. Andrews.” Now, I should be clear, I am not a mental health professional of any sort, so all of what I say here is gleaned through years of reading about crime stories and second-hand research, but re-watching this scene caused me to remember that when Jon Benet Ramsey was murdered, many wondered--and still do--whether it was possible she was molested as a child due to her still wetting the bed at the age of six. From what we can gather, Roman would have been probably around the same age, if not older, when the alleged ‘dog cage’ incident occurred; his mentions of ‘going weird’ could be his best way to articulate what could have been a mental breakdown suffered during his childhood. His parents, having no clue what to do with him, would have naturally sent him to a rigorous, regimented school that, they believed, could have righted his ‘abnormal’ behavior. There are many signs children can possibly exhibit as a result of sexual abuse, but a few of them struck me because they describe even Roman’s adult behavior:

Regressive behaviors or resuming behaviors they had grown out of, such as thumb-sucking or bedwetting

Overly compliant behavior

Decrease in confidence or self-image

Change in mood or personality, such as increased aggression

We notice Roman’s lack of confidence constantly over the course of the series. In Sad Sack Wasp Trap, we see him studying his body carefully in the mirror, obviously displeased with what he sees, and then quickly buttoning up his shirt when Grace enters. As an adult there’s no question that he is--around his father, especially--overly compliant, going along with what Logan says and most of the time unwilling to buck him. While Roman is certainly not aggressive in the sense of being a danger to others, we do notice that his temperament borders on the aggressive quite a lot of the time, and he has a sadistic side, taking pleasure in tormenting others for his own amusement. We also know that the infamous Lester McClintock--Mo-Lester--was a friend of Logan’s; while it’s not stated that he abused any children, if he was a family friend, there is a possibility he was around Roman as a child. Connor, in Safe Room, does tell Willa that Logan wouldn’t let his kids get in the pool with Lester, so the possibility of his being a pedophile is there. Maybe the abuser was someone else. Maybe Roman wasn’t abused at all and I’m way off base. But I bring the point up for discussion only because as I pondered it, I myself began to wonder.

2. Patrick Bateman

SPOILER ALERT: The ending to the movie, American Psycho. is discussed below.

In I Went to Market, Shiv makes a quip when Roman tells her he has a hobby, saying to him, “Killing hobos isn’t a hobby.” Anyone old enough to remember--or old enough to have watched American Psycho or read the book--will remember that Patrick Bateman, the novel’s famous protagonist, descends slowly into violence as his disgust for society deepens, and begins literally killing homeless people on the streets of New York City, using homicide as an outlet for his uncontrollable rage. For the sake of convenience, I will discuss the movie a bit here, as I read the book years ago and do not remember much. The end of the movie is open to interpretation, leaving the audience to decide whether Bateman did actually kill anyone and it was cleaned up for him because he was wealthy, or whether he simply fever-dreamed the experiences. It’s interesting that the show draws a tie to Patrick Bateman and Roman, but having considered Bateman’s behavior there are some similarities. Roman, like Bateman, has a total disregard for the lower class, no more openly displayed than in the pilot episode where he tears up the check in front of the little boy at his family’s baseball game. He also, as noted in the previous point, has a temper, sometimes flying quickly off the handle when things don’t go his way. He is tightly wound, constantly agitated by the world around him, and driven by impulse. Where Bateman’s impulses lead him to murder, Roman’s take a different path, leading him to push the envelope of appropriate behavior for shock value, or drop and pick up girlfriends like objects. While Roman certainly would never kill anyone in a literal sense, he is not afraid to destroy those beneath him without a second thought, obliterating Vaulter simply because he wants to, manipulating the staff into admitting they want to unionize--which might’ve saved them--and then handing his information over to his father so as to leverage himself and his desire to shut Vaulter down over Kendall’s desire to keep it open. The point is is that the show, by drawing a link between these two characters, could perhaps be suggesting to the audience that Roman’s behavior, like Bateman’s, requires an understanding of nuance. Bret Easton Ellis, who wrote the novel, grew up in an environment similar to Roman’s, coming from a wealthy family, deriving much of his literary material from what he witnessed as a child and an adult. It could perhaps best be said that both characters are a study in how environments shape people: what they bring out in them, and what they create that, for better or worse, can be left to bubble just below the surface.

3. Only Good?

This point will be fairly brief, but I did find it pertinent to comment on how many people in the fandom--maybe younger people who don’t understand the show’s nuances--seem content to constantly cast Gerri as an artless bystander to the cruises situation when this is simply not the case. It could be that some don’t recall, but in the above scene from Pre-Nuptial, Shiv demands that ATN lay off Gil Eavis by blackmailing Gerri, telling her that if she doesn’t get her way that she will blow the lid on the scandal that centers around Lester McClintock. What’s most important is the fact that when Shiv mentions the “cruise division horror show”, Gerri never asks for clarification regarding Shiv’s point. This, obviously, is because Gerri doesn’t need it. While I am not suggesting Gerri knew all along about the scandal, her lack of need for Shiv to clarify what she means by “the cover-up” is an indicator that Gerri not only knew what was going on before the audience did, but perhaps also had a hand in hiding what was happening. There could be many reasons she did so, but I felt compelled to make this point because so often people believe Gerri was caught off-guard by what was occurring at Brightstar, when in fact our introduction to her in the show was intended to serve as an indicator of her character. The phrase, “stone-cold killer bitch”, used flirtatiously by Roman, was not only intended to amuse, but also to give insight into her character. In order to survive and thrive in Waystar, Gerri would have had to have been anything but an artless child, and her reputation as a ‘stone-cold killer’ is apt, as it describes the sort of character a person generally has to take on in order to climb the ranks of the corporate world. Gerri’s panic as the cruises situation unfolds is not due to the nature of the incidences (nor is Shiv’s for that matter)--it is due to the panic she feels at having to take the fall for what occurred. What actually happened, the facts of it, don’t really bother her. That’s what makes a killer.

#gerri/roman #gerri x roman #gerri kellman #roman roy #succession #succession hbo #hbo succession #succession thoughts

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stark-tony · 3 years

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most recent bookmarks (6/18/21)

mcu

you game? cake time? by iron_spider (3k, T, pepperony) Peter stares at him.“I’d like your help,” Tony says, gesturing towards the ton of cakes. “Your refined palette.”Peter snorts. He can’t lie, excitement is rising in his throat and in his stomach, and he barely ate at lunch today because he was trying to finish up the book report before sixth period. “Does Miss Potts know you picked me?”“You can call her Pepper.”Peter cocks his head. “Does Pepper know you picked me to help you?”

The Dangers of Sleeping on the Upside of the Bed by Honorable_mention (1.1k, G, gen, quarantine) Midtown High School’s Academic Decathlon team had moved online. Once a week, even during the summer, everyone would log on and chat for a few minutes before trying to beat each other on Protobowl while hurling barely school appropriate threats at each other. It was really quite a lot of fun.Through these online meetings Cindy Moon had gotten the opportunity to intimately learn about her teammates in a way she hadn’t been able to when they were in-person. A person’s room and the way they talked to their family told you a lot about them.In which the members of the Academic Decathlon team get the chance to meet Peter's roommates

something bright coming his way by iron_spider (6.5k, T, gen, hurt peter) “Pete,” Tony’s voice says. “I’m heading to your location.”Peter narrows his eyes. Karen’s colors turn from dark red to a softer blue, which he takes as her celebrating Tony’s imminent arrival. How imminent? What?“What?” Peter says again. Like an idiot.“Your numbers aren’t what I like to see and you stopped moving and I was in the area, anyway. You know. Doing Iron Man things. You okay?”Peter blinks. He sees some more lights out ahead of him that he thinks are headlights, and he feels like Karen is trying to even out his vision by changing how things come across on the HUD. She’s failing, but he won’t say that. Can she read his brainwaves? No. Definitely not. Maybe. Either way he doesn’t wanna be mean to her, so he stops thinking.Ugh, his side hurts.

Of All the Nurses’ Offices in All the High Schools... by sahiya (7k, T, gen, outsiders pov, identity reveal, hurt peter) Peter Parker has his own gravitational orbit, and it tends to suck in the people around him. Including burned out school nurses who were just minding their own business.Or: Patrick Carmichael meets Spider-Man (and Tony Stark), adopts a cat, and gets just a little bit better.

a first time for everything by crowkag (7.7k, pepperony, sick peter) “Why are you whispering?” Pepper was asking, and the other noises were receding away behind the creak of a door and click of a lock.“Because I’m hosting a vigilante super-teen with enhanced hearing this weekend.” He slumped back into the couch cushions. “Or did you forget?”There was a sharp intake of breath.“Peter? Oh god, what did you—”“Nothing,” Tony rushed out, scrambling. “He’s fine. The kid’s fine, honey.”A beat of silence.“Okay, well, he’s not fine, but—”“Tony Stark—”

Is he or Is he not? by Omenthia_Arc (43.2k, G, pepperony, 5 + 1, people think peter is tony’s kid) Five times someone thought that Peter was Tony's biological son and one time everyone thought it.

The Moon Looks Lovely Tonight by Omi_Ohmy (35.7k, M, drarry, post-hogwarts, domestic) When Harry moves into the damp and empty Black house, it doesn’t quite feel like home. And then the first owl moves in. After that, it’s a steep slope leading to bed-sharing, more owls, assorted housemates, strange potions experiments, and terrible cooking. And a bit of waltzing, too.

The Wrong Sort by CaffeinatedFlumadiddle (289.5k, T, drarry, romione, gryffindor draco, canon divergence, torture) In which Draco Malfoy is sorted into Gryffindor and everything kind of goes to Hell from there… but hey. At least there’s a chance he won’t grow up to be an awful person. Alternatively titled ‘Draco Malfoy and the Worst Goddamn Seven Years of His Life’

The Mirror of Ecidyrue by starbrigid (998.6k, E, drarry, wolfstar, romione, neville/ luna, grindeldore, lockhart/snape, time travel, fix it, abuse) All it takes is one look in a mirror and an ill-advised attempt to shatter it, before an embittered Draco Malfoy fresh out of Azkaban is sent back into his body on the day he gets his Hogwarts letter.Suddenly, Draco has an unwanted second chance, with a Sorting Hat that doesn't know what to do with him, a certain Muggleborn who won't leave his study table alone, and green eyes he just can't get out of his head. And then there's his new wand, whose choice of him could just mark him as every bit as dark a wizard as his name means he should be.

more than getting by by sarewolf (34.4k, M, wolfstar, wolfstar raises harry) “What do you want me to do?” Remus says, tiredly. All he wants is to curl up on his bed. Smoke a pack of cigarettes. Get drunk. He can’t stop looking at Harry.“Remus...” Dumbledore is gentle. Remus hates when he has that tone. Hates that he knows it will hurt. “There is no one else left.”A bitter laugh escapes him. “So you’ll curse the poor thing with a werewolf for a guardian?”

How Like Home by waitingondaisies (63.5k, T, jily, dimension travel) When Sirius falls through the veil, Harry chases after him, determined to find him on the other side. Instead, he finds nothing at all. When he wakes up, he is informed by Unspeakables that he is from an alternate universe.Thanks to his uncanny resemblance to his counterpart, Harry is readily recognized as a duplicate of Harry Potter, a normal fifteen year old boy, and is entrusted to the care of Lily and James Potter. From them, Harry discovers that Voldemort is not, and never was, a threat in this universe.Now, Harry must adapt to life with loving parents in a peaceful world.

Professor Black by Haunted_Frost (29k, T, wolfstar, professor regulus black) Kreacher's unending loyalty has allowed Regulus to survive the Inferi. In order to destroy the horcrux and ensure Voldemort's death, he goes back to Hogwarts, this time as a Potions professor. Years at this position give him new insights, even as the papers rave about how both the Blacks were traitors to their sides.When Sirius gets loose from Azkaban, Regulus knows one thing: he is not going to let his lunatic brother hurt his students.Inspired entirely by this tumblr post.

atla

(let me be) there for you by lesmiserablol (8.5k, T, zukka, post-war, bodyguard sokka, friends to lovers, idiots to lovers) Sokka pulls out a clean piece of parchment and starts to write:Reasons Why Sokka Would Be A Great Bodyguard for Lord ZukoHe smiles in satisfaction at the title. Seeing it in writing only makes him feel more confident in this brilliant, two-minute-old idea of his. Zuko is one of his closest friends, and Sokka is a great fighter, he would be the perfect bodyguard! He has the entirety of his trip in the Fire Nation to prove it to Zuko. This is going to be a piece of cake.(or, Sokka mistakes his crush for just a strong desire to be a guard for Zuko, and Suki is amused)

boy problems by burnt_oranges (22.2k, zukka, mailee, friends to lover, post-war, arranged marriage) “I accidentally signed off on an arranged marriage to Sokka,” Zuko says faintly. He sits up so fast he almost falls out of his chair. “I signed off on an arranged marriage to Sokka, and he agreed."In which Zuko suffers in a variety of ways, including but not limited to: close and constant proximity to the object of his affections, assassination attempts, and irreparable injuries to his dignity.

we really should google these things first by Bundibird (3k, G, gen, modern) Sokka's aloe vera plant is in need of a good pruning, and what's Sokka gonna do, just throw out all the pruned leaves? When instead he can make aloe vera juice? Come on. (Only - maybe he should have googled this beforehand. Because it turns out there's an edible kind of aloe, and a toxic kind. Guess what kind Sokka has. Go on, guess.)(Or: the modern AU based on the time I nearly poisoned myself with a non-edible succulent.)

spn

Checked Out by whelvenwings (27.1k, G, destiel, dreamhunter, library au, librarian castiel, writer dean, openly bi dean, misunderstandings) Castiel Novak can think of many writers who would not be welcome under the roof of Heaven’s Gate library, where he is the librarian: Ayn Rand ranks highly (no explanation needed), as does Charles Dickens (he hasn’t forgiven Charles for the month he lost to The Pickwick Papers). And, of course, Dean Winchester. Dean Winchester, local author and obvious a-hole, who is entirely too handsome to be true and who is clearly totally lacking in profundity, intelligence, sincerity, and self-awareness. Unfortunately, though, Dean’s been invited to do a book signing at Heaven’s Gate - and Castiel’s about to be confronted by some unexpected feelings when he finally meets Dean for the first time.

Aim and Ignite by wincechesters (10.3k, M, destiel, cas in the bunker) After the angels fall and Cas loses his grace, and with Sam still recovering from the toll taken on his body by the trials, Dean starts a prank war as a way to lighten the mood in the bunker and alleviate his boredom. It might just have some unexpected consequences. --- A post-S8 canon AU.

bnha

Izuku plays video games with the League of Villains (among other things) by ADyingFlower (54.2k, T, gen, quirkless midoriya, villain deku) Izuku plays video games with the League of Villains, denies being a villain, has his beloved animal crossing file threatened, kicks ass with a shotgun, is proposed to, learns to deal with his depression, and accidentally kidnaps the son of the number two hero. In that order.Or: Five times Izuku played online with his friends, and one time he played with them in personThen Himiko screams.“CAPTAIN!” “Y-yeah?” Tomura asks almost hesitantly. “LOOK!!” All four of them spin around, right as a cannonball comes soaring inches from Izuku’s head from the Galleon less than a three feet away from them. They scream. “OH FUCK NO NO NO NO! NO!” Dabi yells, running to load the cannons. “DUDE WE HAVE SO MUCH SHIT! NO! HOLY FUCKING SHIT!”“Hey guys, guys! Hey, chill!” Izuku shrieks frantically, right as one of the players boards their ship and starts shooting. “CHILL THE FUCK OUT!”

our trust shot full of holes by nolov (louscr) (25.9k, T, gen) When he's twelve, Izuku meets his best friend. Neither of them are especially good at having friends, but they make do.The other shoe drops less than a week into his first year at U.A.

Are You Valued? by cyber_phobia (9.2k, T, dad for one) "What are you drawing, Izuku?" Hisashi asks with adoration dripping in his voice. "It's Uncle!" Izuku shouts, smacking his dad's arm for daring to ask once more. All the air leaves Hisashi's lungs in one fell swoop.

To Spark A Smile by awefull (1.1k, G, gen, dadzawa) A six-year-old. Aizawa was the guardian of a six-year-old. Aizawa, a pro-hero, who had poor eating habits, and no sleep schedule, was in charge of raising a little girl.He, reasonably, had some concerns.

Long Night in the Valley by Marsalias (53.7k, T, gen, suspected traitor, dad might, dad for one) On paper, the Hero Commission's plan to investigate Midoriya Izuku under the guise of a training course for combating mental quirks is solid, almost foolproof, even. If Midoriya turns out to be innocent, they can pass everything off as part of the training exercise, assuming he even remembered any of it. Otherwise, they could beg forgiveness after the traitor was securely imprisoned in Tartarus.The paper plan failed to take into account the feral ghosts living in Midoriya Izuku's head, or his equally feral living friends.Time to bring on the chaos.

i gave the voices in my head a megaphone by hannahbal (17.3k, todoroki/midoriya/shinsou) ...and they started singing Megan Thee Stallion.(Hitoshi, like any good friend, brainwashes Izuku’s anxiety away for a day so he can know some peace. The problem? Izuku has no fear of god or consequences.Izuku also has no goddamn filter.)

Nothing Could Be More Worthwhile by Krisington (3.5k, G, gen, dad might) Toshinori Yagi wouldn’t say he had let his guard down in retirement, not exactly. It was more accurate to say that he had let his guard down in his true form. He didn’t notice others, and others didn’t notice him. It had become a small pleasure, he realized, one he was reluctant to let go.He should have known better.The man managed to reach All Might’s forehead a split second before All Might grabbed the man’s arm. But a second was just enough.A villain showed All Might a vision of Izuku. Bloodied. Broken. Fading. Was that some future that would come to pass? Toshinori needed to do everything in his power to make sure it wasn't.

everything i wanted by raindrops_0 (9k, T, gen, 5 + 1) Izuku turns to face Hitoshi and flashes a bright smile, eyes folding into crescent moons.Bright like the afternoon sun swallowing Hitoshi whole, bright like All Might’s fucking perfect grin, bright like he’s already a hero.Bright like everything Hitoshi has ever wanted and then more.(Hitoshi can’t help it, but he hates. Of course Izuku can smile as if the whole world is in his hands. He’s never had to fight for every little thing and be hated for it.)Or 5 times Hitoshi misjudged the golden boy of UA, and 1 time he finally understood.

hp/bnha

Bend Before You Break by orkestrations (16.2k, T, gen) When Izuku set out for his morning run, the last thing he was expecting was to be plucked from his own world by magic and thrown into another universe entirely.Removed from his own conflict and with no way back, he sets himself to figuring out this world and its own incipient war while searching for a way to possibly reverse the spell that brought him here.It's just his luck that the year he arrives is the same year the government decides it's a great idea to bring back the potentially-deadly tournament.

#my fics recs #most recent bookmarks #hp recs #atla recs #mcu recs #bnha recs #spn recs #abuse tw #torture tw

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tabloidtoc · 3 years

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National Enquirer, March 15

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Tiger Woods' car crash

Page 2: Bruce Springsteen has beaten the DUI charges leveled against him after federal prosecutors couldn't find a drop of evidence he had been drinking over the legal limit -- with an acceptable blood alcohol level of 0.02 well below the 0.08 threshold at the time of his arrest in Sandy Hook, New Jersey, prosecutors backed off two of their charges for drunken and reckless driving -- the rocker did plead guilty to a third charge, admitting he had two small shots of tequila on federal parkland and for that, he was fines $500 plus $40 in court costs

Page 3: Patrick Dempsey's dreamy return to Grey's Anatomy was a big hit with fans but his well-received cameo left series star Ellen Pompeo seething with jealousy -- Ellen may have permitted Patrick to revisit his old stomping grounds in Meredith Grey's fever dreams in season 17 but she doesn't want him coming back permanently and swiping her hard-earned glory and she considers herself the anchor of the show and thought she was rid of this guy after making the show her own, but now fans are begging for him to be brought back and Ellen is furious -- it's no secret Ellen hated the first 10 years of the show when Patrick was the star and she feels the series got better after he left and she became a big-shot producer, something she'd been demanding for years -- she likes being in control and calling the shots and clearly thinks she got this deal on her merit alone but it's also because she's the star who's lasted the longest; most of the original cast had already left and bosses had to cave in to keep her -- unfortunately being in charge hasn't amounted to better ratings and show has been slipping consistently in recent years and the main reason they brought Patrick back on was to spike the ratings, which it did and now producers are considering offering Patrick a full-time gig but Ellen will do everything in her power to prevent Patrick from stealing her thunder again

Page 4: Home reno gurus Chip and Joanna Gaines are clashing over his wild spending, and she's desperate to rein him in before they land in the poorhouse -- Chip and Jo are rich on paper and worth $20 million in property and assets but they were hit hard by the pandemic like everyone else and recovery has been sluggish to say the least -- they're just getting back on their feet and under a ton of pressure to get their Magnolia network off to a running start but Chip, as usual, is casual when it comes to money and it frustrates Jo to see him buying things they don't need, like new tools and equipment when the old ones work just fine and overpaying on lumber and masonry -- Chip is always shopping and not always for the house; he's got a boot fetish and has dozens of pairs, plus he treats the crew to free cappuccino and treats from their coffeehouse several time a day and Chip wants the best of everything for himself and everyone else

* Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds are ready to welcome baby number four through adoption -- the couple who are parents of daughters James and Inez and Betty hope to find their next child in South America and they've invested time and money sponsoring immigrant children and they're warming up to the idea of providing an orphaned baby or toddler with a forever home -- a 16-year-old girl they sponsored through the Young Center for Immigrant Children's Rights was deported back to Honduras and they were heartbroken, and Blake and Ryan are now determined to provide a child with a happy home and opportunities he or she wouldn't have in their native country

Page 5: Newlyweds Pamela Anderson and Dan Hayhurst are itching to start a family and are already trying for a baby of their own -- 53-year-old Pam tied the knot with the 40-year-old handyman on Christmas Eve at her Vancouver Island home and she's been telling pals they hope to have happy news soon -- Pam wants to build a whole new clan with Dan and he's on board even though they each have kids with their exes and Dan's two kids from a previous relationship are living with the couple at Pam's pad -- the couple love the idea of adopting or going the surrogate route and it's not something they want to waste any time over

Page 6: Weary Kelly Clarkson is juggling her skyrocketing career and brutal divorce battle with estranged husband Brandon Blackstock on less than six hours sleep a night and Kelly has also been pushing to sell her homes in Nashville and Encino, while running her L.A.-based talk show and recording new music -- she's been running herself ragged for months and she's feeling the burn in a big way but despite her exhaustion, she can't sleep and nothing she tries works and the most shut-eye she catches is two, three hours at a time; she lays awake in bed at night worrying and crying

* Suddenly remorseful Kanye West has spiraled into depression and despair since soon-to-be ex-wife Kim Kardashian filed for divorce -- for all their problems, Kanye realizes she was the one person who was there for him whenever he went off the deep end and now he knows he's alone and seriously doubts he can hold his life together -- without Kim and her family to keep his wild impulses in check, he may succumb to the poor judgment and wild mood swings that have marked his chronic bipolar disorder as they were the ones who reminded him to take his meds and steer clear of recreational drugs and now all he has is a circle of yes-men he doesn't listen to anyway -- since the split, Kanye has shuttled between his ranch in Cody, Wyoming and a hotel in L.A. near the sprawling mansion he once shared with Kim and he's been blowing up her phone to beg forgiveness, but she won't take his calls and it's driving him off the deep end again

Page 7: Kourtney Kardashian is fed up with Shanna Moakler's online barbs and is plotting her revenge against the ex-wife of her new squeeze -- since Kourtney and Blink-182 drummer Travis Barker went public with their romance last month, former pageant queen Shanna has been throwing social media shade and Kourtney's tired of taking Shanna's crap and she's going to fire back soon and Kourtney's using her wide network of contacts in Hollywood to bad-mouth Shanna and she's placing calls to casting directors and perspective suitors to put as many potholes in her love rival's path as possible and she plans to make Shanna regret messing with her

Page 8: Nearly two years after Johnny Depp was forced to exit Disney's Pirates of the Caribbean franchise following ex-wife Amber Heard's allegations of abuse, the company has kicked him while he's down by considering her for a plum part -- Johnny is fuming over news that Amber is reportedly in contention to play fairy-tale heroine Rapunzel in the studio's upcoming live-action remake of Tangled -- for Amber to be in the running for a Disney pic is the ultimate insult to him especially because he believes the company made millions of dollars off his name

Page 9: Prince Harry and his wife Meghan Markle had a whopping $500 million motive to betray Queen Elizabeth -- outraged at being cut loose by the British royals, the couple retaliated by secretly negotiating backroom Hollywood megadeals and going public on TV -- Harry and Meghan see themselves as victims of an out-of-touch monarchy and want revenge and selling out Harry's family is the way to get it and cash in big-time; Meghan's convinced they'll have deals totaling $500 million by the end of the year but they better act fast because Hollywood is a fickle town where even royalty can be chewed up and spat out

Page 10: Hot Shots -- Amelia Hamlin stuck to the shore while pink-haired beau Scott Disick made waves in Miami, Steve Martin nibbled on a pretzel while filming Only Murders in the Building in NYC, Floyd Mayweather turned 44 and celebrated with a birthday bash in Miami, Bachelorette reject Tyler Cameron showed off his toned tummy in Florida

Page 11: Drew Barrymore feels deeply for dad-controlled Britney Spears because she's been there: she said her mom locked her away in a loony bin for over a year when she was just 13 -- Drew said it's hard to grow up in front of people and she empathizes with Britney and Paris Hilton and any star who can't escape the glare of celebrity -- Drew's mom put her in a place that was a full psychiatric ward and says she used to laugh at those Malibu 30-day places because she was in a place for a year and a half called Van Nuys Psychiatric and you couldn't mess around there and if you did, you would either get thrown in the padded room or put in stretcher restraints and tied up

* Eddie Murphy famously bragged he has never changed a diaper in his life despite having so many kids and now he's set on having another baby with fiancee Paige Butcher and this will make baby No. 11 for Eddie -- he says his genes are incredible as ever, so why stop; he's super fit and Paige is in amazing shape at age 41 and wants at least one more baby so they're going to go for it and are already trying

Page 12: Straight Shuter gossip column -- CNN could blitz news veteran Wolf Blitzer as the network revamps its lineup and TV is a young person's game and no one knows that better than Wolf and after 31 years at CNN, he sees new faces getting promoted and knows his days are numbered and Jim Acosta and Poppy Harlow are the future of CNN, not Wolf -- although Wolf's airtime has been cut as Jake Tapper's role expands, he isn't bitter or angry but instead he's grateful for an amazing run

* Love It or List It star Hilary Farr is moving on to her own show and leaving partner David Visentin in the dust -- Hilary's new show is basically the same one she and David have been doing for years, with him edited out and David was blindsided by the news and he knows HGTV has sent out a casting notice for the new show and he's hurt and angry especially because Love It or List It hasn't been renewed yet

* Sacked Dancing with the Stars host Tom Bergeron has reached out to Chris Harrison after he stepped away from The Bachelor amid a racist scandal -- Tom wasn't fired over a scandal, but he knows exactly what Chris is going through because both of them thought they had a job for life, but nothing lasts forever -- Tom is a good guy and wants Chris to know he's around if Chris needs anything

* Tom Felton, who played Draco Malfoy in the Harry Potter films, spruced up for the camera (picture)

Page 13: Brooke Shields isn't letting a busted leg keep her down but she's taking her recovery one step at a time -- she shared an Instagram video showing her cautiously hobbling on crutches and explained she broker her femur and she was beginning to mend -- she didn't reveal what caused the unlucky break

* Outspoken actress Rose McGowan is living a charmed life in Mexico and the Harvey Weinstein accuser has headed south of the border and vows never to return to the United States -- she got her permanent residency card from Mexico and is grateful to have it and says it's a really healing land and it is truly magical -- she moved at the dawn of the COVID-19 pandemic because she knew it was going to get really bad in America and she had a moment to figure out where she wanted to be

* Picky perfectionist Blake Shelton listens to around 300 songs to choose what to record for each of his albums, according to his longtime producer -- music pro Scott Hendricks said he wades through nearly 3000 tracks by professional songwriters to select tunes for Blake to consider and then Blake methodically whittles down the nominees until he's certain which songs he wants to record but Scott admitted that process is more difficult for him culling the 300 from the 3000 -- Scott, who has worked with Blake for most of his career, said of their close professional relationship that the chemistry works and they have recorded several hundred or more songs together and they are getting ready to go do some more

Page 14: Crime

Page 15: Killer kingpin Joaquin "El Chapo" Guzman's busted beauty queen bride will be marked for death behind bars -- if Emma Coronel Aispuro snitches to the feds about the bloodthirsty Mexican Sinaloa drug cartel long run by her caged husband, she'll put a big fat bulls-eye on her back -- according to a federal complaint, Coronel was intimately involved in her husband's multibillion-dollar drug-running racket and acted as his criminal agent while he was on the lam and the mother of El Chapo's two young daughters helped mastermind her spouse's daring 2015 tunnel escape from a Mexican prison and also paid him $100,000 for another failed bust-out a year later -- they are going to put the heat on her to spill more details on other top operatives in the cartel and take them down, too, but if she spills, it will be open season on her on the inside

Page 16: Dr. Dre appears to rap about estranged wife Nicole Young in a song filled with angry, explicit lyrics calling someone in his life a greedy bitch -- DJ Silk previewed part of a new track from Dre full of digs presumably at Nicole, with whom he has been locked in a nasty divorce -- his lyrics include: Trying to kill me with them lies and that perjury/ I see you trying to f--k me while I'm in surgery / In ICU death bed on some money s--t / Greedy bitch take a pic / Girl you know how money get

* Hollywood Hookups -- Lorenzo Lamas is set to wed for the sixth time to model Kenna Scott, Justin Hartley and Chrishell Stause are officially divorced, Adam Rippon is engaged to Jussi-Pekka Kajaala

Page 17: Former Home Improvement kid Zachery Ty Bryan has pleaded guilty to two felony counts of domestic violence -- Zachery, now 39, has been sentenced to three years of probation and will also have to take part in a batterer intervention program

* John Mayer has dated a succession of famous singers including Katy Perry, Taylor Swift and Halsey and he hopes they write chart-topping songs about him and admitted he'd be jazzed if his exes enshrined him in song, saying sometimes a song is so good he hopes it's about him and he even scours their lyrics for clues -- Taylor already has several tracks that have been linked to John including Dear John

* Ruthless chef Gordon Ramsay said he's cooked up his own plan to keep his kids humble -- he has five kids with wife Tana: Megan, twins Holly and Jack, Tilly and Oscar but said he plans to leave most of his reported $200 million fortune to charity -- Gordon explained his kids must tidy up after dinners, can only fly coach and are expected to learn how to cook for themselves and he's forbidden them from taking costly taxis and the foulmouthed foodie insisted they don't swear

Page 18: American Life

Page 19: Roseanne Barr was blindsided by a humiliating new scandal after risque photos from the early '90s recently emerged which appear to show her teenage daughters licking her boobs -- Roseanne posed for the shots with her two youngest girls at a Glamour Shots studio in Iowa more than 25 years ago and the photographer who claimed he snapped the fake lesbian lovefest but did not want to be named dished Roseanne and daughters Jessica and Jennifer who are now in their mid-40s happily hammed it up for the camera but decades later Roseanne and her daughters are all mortified and embarrassed by these pics; they were horsing around years ago and never thought they'd see the light of day

Page 20: Cover Story -- Still recovering from agonizing back surgery, Tiger Woods was pushing himself to the limit when he flew off a California cliff into a career-crushing car accident -- lawmen said the golf legend was lucky to be alive after the horrific wreck that shattered his right leg -- the accident only added to Tiger's physical problems; his movement has been restricted since a fifth back operation in December and he was unable to play golf despite an appearance at a local tournament the weekend before the bloody wreck -- at a press conference days before cheating death, Tiger admitted he was worried about his physical condition and his ability to play again, saying a lot of it is based on his surgeons and doctors and therapist and making sure he does it correctly and he doesn't have a lot of wiggle room left -- Tiger could barely move, and it seemed to get him down and his back rehab has been brutal and he was hobbling around and distraught but he refused to give into his condition and his tough-as-nails mindset could have contributed to the crash: when a person is overwhelmed by physical pain, that dominates everything they do and if you're behind the wheel of a car and in physical pain, it can distract you and likely lead to this kind of disaster -- Tiger was eager to get to a TV taping on the morning disaster struck and he seemed impatient when he left the Terranea Resort in Rancho Palos Verdes, an L.A. suburb, just after 7 a.m. and although traffic cameras show he was driving within the speed limit, his Genesis GV80 SUV crossed the center median onto the opposite side of the road and flipped -- authorities said Tiger appeared lucid to first responders and there were no signs the recovering addict was under the influence of alcohol or drugs and they did not request a blood test when Tiger was rushed to the hospital from the crash site and the incident was an accident -- Tiger was taken to nearby Harbor-UCLA Medical Center, where doctors said his broken bones protruded through his right leg and they put a rod in his leg and used screws and pins to stabilize the break and his ankle -- it will take three to four months to heal and then eight months of physical therapy and it is unlikely he will ever run again and he may have a limp and in terms of golf, just walking for extended periods of time will be a big deal and recovery will be agonizing; it's a very real possibility that Tiger's taken his final swing

Page 21: Addiction experts warned Tiger Woods' recovery will test his sobriety after his stint in rehab for prescription painkiller use and it is very, very common for a patient in recovery to relapse after a trauma like the one suffered by Tiger and exposure to painkillers administered directly or prescribed after a physical trauma is highly likely to trigger a relapse -- Tiger will probably need painkillers to get through this, but he'll also need to be connected with like-minded people to keep him away from his old thinking that pills are the solution to his problems

Page 22: Desperate Ghislaine Maxwell has offered to renounce her British and French citizenships in a new bid to get out of jail -- the disgraced socialite's last two stabs at freedom including one package offering $22.5 million as bond money were rejected by a judge who deemed her a flight risk -- now according to her lawyers, Ghislaine will formally commence the procedure to renounce her foreign citizenship to satisfy any concerns the court may have that she may try to seek a safe haven in France or the U.K. -- Justice Department officials were concerned Ghislaine would flee to France, where she was born, since the country has no extradition treaty with the U.S.

* Woody Allen claimed his own words are being used to attack him in the bombshell Allen v. Farrow documentary -- Woody has repeatedly denied adopted daughter Dylan Farrow's claims he sexually abused her when she was seven at her mom Mia Farrow's home -- Woody blasted the documentary which rehashes the claims as a shoddy hit piece and a hatched job riddled with falsehoods adding the filmmakers stole from his autobiography

Page 26: Twice-divorced Ricki Lake's engagement to California attorney Ross Burningham has insiders fearing she may suffer yet another heartbreak -- she announced her happy news on Instagram but Ricki has seen far more than her share of bad luck in the romance department and everyone is praying this final shot at love doesn't end in despair and it's never Ricki's fault, but she's never found a man who could keep her happy

Page 28: A lurid landscape of drug-fueled orgies, suicidal thoughts and fake sexual enthusiasm will play out in a new television series based on model and reality star Holly Madison's X-rated confessions from her shocking 2015 biography Down the Bunny Hole -- Madison first exposed the sleazy details of how she and other young women were plied with drugs and coerced to participate in sex parties with Playboy founder Hugh Hefner in exchange for acting as his girlfriends and getting to live inside the iconic L.A. mansion along with a weekly $1000 stipend -- the limited series will star actress Samara Weaving as Holly, who was a member of Hef's harem between 2001 and 2008 -- Holly, Kendra Wilkinson and Bridget Marquardt became the notorious stars of the reality show The Girls Next Door which debuted in 2005 and focused on their seemingly glamorous life with Hef but glossed over the dark secrets behind the scenes -- in her bombshell confessions, Holly revealed the 22-bedroom manor was actually a foul pigsty filled with stained mattresses where Hef's live-in ladies were forced to perform weird bedroom rituals and look excited by it

Page 29: Jack Osbourne has listed his sprawling California home for rent at $16,500 a month -- the 35-year-old son of Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne is offering the five-bedroom, 5600-square-foot home in Studio City unfurnished -- Sharon was recently seen outside the home with moving vans helping Jack prep the property -- Jack, who suffers from multiple sclerosis, bought the home in 2014 when he was married to Lisa Stelly; the couple divorced in 2018 and share three children: Andy, Pearl and Minnie

* Heidi Klum has snipped all threads tying her to dad Gunther Klum after the cosmetics and modeling honcho skipped her wedding -- Heidi dumped her manager dad after he snubbed her August 2019 ceremony in Capri with guitarist Tom Kaulitz of the band Tokio Hotel and she has also ended her German enterprise Heidi Klum GmbH, originally overseen by Gunther -- Heidi and her dad had a falling out over Tom and Gunther never really approved of him and was dead set against the marriage and it drove a wedge in their relationship

Page 32: Health Watch

* Ask the Vet -- an African Gray Parrot with a feather-picking problem

Page 34: Barack Obama broke a buddy's nose over a racist remark -- he revealed the two classmates were playing basketball when his friend hurled a racial slur and he popped him in the face and broke his nose, Obama told Bruce Springsteen on their podcast Renegades: Born in the USA -- Obama said he doesn't think his pal even knew what the word meant, just that it was meant to be hurtful

* Country singer Keith Urban has shrunk to 140 pounds as the former addict is hooked on a bizarre diet of nuts and berries and even worse, the five-foot-ten crooner appears to be growing thinner and friends are worried the stress of his demanding career and his desperate desire to be a good husband to Nicole Kidman may push him over the edge -- no one sees him eating much more than handfuls of raw almonds or sunflower seeds and berries washed down with gallons of water -- though he's been sober since 2006, pals fear the struggle to avoid giving in to temptation as well as hearing Nicole purportedly mended fences with ex-hubby Tom Cruise may be weighing on the star -- despite his bony appearance, Keith thinks he looks great

Page 40: Evil ISIS terrorists are using the COVID-19 pandemic as cover while they rebuild their network and mastermind new attacks and both Iraq and the U.S. are in their crosshairs -- because the West has been focused on dealing with the pandemic, ISIS and new groups sprung from their shattered forces have been reloading and plotting revenge, according to Ryan Mauro of the terrorist-monitoring Clarion Intelligence Network -- the pandemic has brought decreased confidence in Western governments, which has emboldened the terrorists to launch sleeper cell attacks on foreign soil

Page 42: Red Carpet -- Anya Taylor-Joy

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