#penn talks about pens

[penebui]

Party At the End Retrospective

Now, I had a lot of thoughts appearing when I was translating, and now I can coherently discuss them. Let’s talk about it and give it a rundown. The essay does not chronologically follow the events in Party At the End (mostly).

Glossary:

Translating

Introduction

Time Frame

Who the Fuck is Ladra (and Blue Zoisite)

Cinnabar

Sensei & Antarcticite

The Temple & Museum

They’re Putting a Gem on Display? (and The Gems That Don’t Appear)

Ghost & Cairn (and Lapis)

Padparadscha

Sphene, Topaz, and Peridot

What? There’s Fog on The Moon?

The Foodmakers (and 84)

The Fantastical Anatomy of Obsidian (and The Planet They Mention)

Gem Reveal: The Beryls, Red Diamond & Fluorite

The Young Ones

Diamond, Bortz, and the Admirabilis

The Rose Garden (and Rutile)

Bonus Round: The Party

Essay is below. Long, long post ahead, be warned (It’s a really long post guys).

Let’s talk about my glorious journey translating this. To get to actual content of Party at the End go down to Introduction.

Translating

I don’t speak or read japanese at all. As you can tell, I DID get help for getting the raw text, but translating was mostly done by myself. This was done through the usage of deepl (main), google translate (secondary/checker), and every japanese dictionary/kanji site on planet earth. Now, deepl is not 100% accurate but its good. I ran them through both translators to get wording and learn the key ideas, and then typed up the translation to be as accurate as possible. And then there’s the way Haruko Ichikawa writes. Not necessarily writes, but spells. She uses kanjis, and the furigana are well... unique. If you look up the kanjis and see what characters they’re made out of, they don’t match the furiganas she has provided at all. They’re sometimes one character, or do in fact spell out the sound but switch the script she’s using (which frankly made my job harder). The furigana does not match what the kanji uses is what I’m saying.

Her way with words even confused my friend, who is a native japanese speaker. Some kanji she uses are “rare” or “uncommon”. I like to attribute this to her eloquence. AND ITS THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE.

My first struggles of kanji were with Jade’s interview.

My dear bestie, Lotus, suggested that it could’ve been the kanji for nymph, which is 精. Not exactly right.

The first thing to find out this mysterious kanji is look up the furigana right? WRONG.

The kanji I was having a problem with was 棲, this kanji means “water dwelling”. It is pronounced, “sei”. The kanji is made with セイ. The furigana Ichikawa provided was せい. These both spell “sei”. Do you see where I am getting at.

You see, I got the raw text from the scans through OCRs. The first three OCRs I used were not fully accurate and precise. This was a problem for me as the first few interviews had kanjis with furiganas. However as time went on, I DID find a 100% accurate OCR by the name of online.easyscreenocr.com that helped me a bunch. It knew all the kanji she was using so my insanity from Jade’s interview ended pretty quickly.

But then the “one word” direct translations confused me and I had to analyze from every angle what the sentences could possibly mean. For instance, in Bortz’ interview, they use a word which just meant “names”. Plural for name. In a sentence that had no name dropping and had nothing to do with names. With the luck of my brain continuing to crack down on it, I discovered that it actually was supposed to be “namely”. Which is used for “that is to say” or specificity.

And there is the “shellfish” part in the second part of Bortz’ interview. Oooohh, they could’ve said snails, nudibranchs, or straight up admirabilis!! They LOOK like snails. It would be reasonable to call them snails. But they used the word for shellfish. This was not a translation mistake. The word used was 貝. This means shellfish. Why the fuck did they cal them shellfish? I don’t KNOW!! They have shells, they are snails. “Shellfish” is what you would call shit like clams and oysters and crabs and prawns and *looks at papers*.... Shellfish.

There is also vagueness. This is intentional. Think about it. Ladra is familiar with the gems, he knows them and they know him. So of course they’ll be vague when speaking to each other, because they already know about these things. They aren’t going to spell it out for us, we have to deduct it. Which is why I’m writing this.

Another thing to add, Chrysoberyl calls Bluezo “Bluezi”, everyone else calls them Bluezo.

Every time I translated, my language skills with english slowly corroded as I forgot basic grammar and sentence structuring. But what do I know? I don’t speak and understand japanese.

Introduction

 The first page of text in “Party at the End”, is alike to the encyclopedia in Volume 11, appropriately named “Life and Culture of Y-3579203181277“.

What these two have in common, is that they’re from entities that are not the lunarians, gems, or admirabilis, or any life form we are aware of. Whether this is a creative narrative done by Haruko Ichikawa to give us a way to immerse ourselves into their world as the audience, or if this is relevant to the plot in some way has yet to be discovered.

The encyclopedia did in fact, prove to be tied to canon in other ways than lore-wise because of Sensei’s older brother, who distorted and encrypted the information of ice floes and the only words that were not distorted spelt out “Hello” (at least, from what I’ve heard). Sensei’s older brother’s one eye was seen in the background of this text too.

Although the encyclopedia was entirely from an unknown and different viewpoint, “Party at the End” is by proxy.

The premise of “Party at the End” is that it is a photo book, found and picked up by these (or another) unknown entities. They state that they have translated it with the goal of accuracy rather than understanding (this might have been the source of my perils if Ichikawa decided to actually take this extra mile).

They also state that the photos could have been corroded and are without color due to time, or perhaps, were just like that from the start. It is likely that these beings found this photo book on the moon as is.

After this, there is a little poem. This poem, is most likely done by Blue Zoisite, who is a poet. I will explain this later.

Time Frame

The time frame of when the photos and interview, and the party happened are... confusing. This is actually not a party at the actual end. I believe this is set in the exact year Phos started to gain Sensei’s memories and become a pseudo-human. It’s most likely a few months after the initial thing, as New & Old Morganite are helping construct a city for the gems that have yet to be turned into lunarians to reside. And it is NOT the same party as the one shown in Chapter 96.

The gems have a party for the end, every day at night, for 10,000 years. The party in Chapter 96 is most likely the first one, as Antarc is seen with Cairngorm, and groups of other gems are out doing tourist-y things. At the party, Cinnabar and Jade are also wearing different outfits than the ones depicted in Party at the End.

Who the Fuck is Ladra (and Blue Zoisite)

Ladra, is a lunarian. Ladra, is the one who is taking these photos and also doing the interviews himself. His face is never shown. He is familiar with all of the gems, and Sensei. Some gems are shocked at how he knows some things about them.

He has a message before actually starting the interviews. This is the first name drop. His message is about the past. This is related to how the photo book is for memories, for the past, for someone to hopefully pick up and look at. And as time goes on, the gems start to name drop him.

Ladra is also in cahoots with Blue Zoisite. Blue Zoisite, is the only other gem to be in an active relationship with a lunarian (this excludes Antarc, who is in a relationship with Sensei and he was not originally a lunarian and they’re technically in a relationship I’m sorry to say). This is most likely because they’re both artists in some way.

Ladra is a photographer. This is obvious. He is stated as a very talented one.

Bluezo is a poet. This was hinted at back in Love Freedom Hell, the mini art book from Volume 10. On the faux volume 10 cover that depicted the trio Chrysoberyl, Topaz, and Blue Zoisite.

This small fake summary tells how Topaz is the mediator in the little threesome and tried to get Chryso & Bluezo to get along through an exchange diary, which revealed Bluezo’s inner talent for writing and poetry in general.

Bluezo, from what we hear from in Chrysoberyl’s and Topaz’s interviews, is a very high maintenance partner. They were rebellious before, and although the rules that they faced in society that caused them to act out were removed, it’s most likely just part of their temperament.

Bluezo is also seen “eating” (or kissing??) a rose given to them by Ladra, who bought it from Shinsha.

Cinnabar

A segway into Cinnabar, they are a florist. They’re still somewhat shy. Oh yeah, and they’re also an entomologist. This is revealed when they try to avoid Ladra’s question about the party initially before he claps back at them.

Of course, Cinnabar would be an entomologist and a florist because of the Botanical Gardens. It’s also shown in one of their photos. Where they’re holding a caterpillar. This, has great implications. And can mean two things.

One, they have somehow made technological advancements to the point that even entities such as insects can be turned into the same spiritual essence as lunarians, or, that they are moving the entirety of life on earth onto the moon. The latter is most likely what is happening. Besides, even after they’re all prayed away, nature continues. The Core Three of the human descendants got prayed away, along with what only lived after the horrors of the world: Admirabilis, Lunarians, Gems, the inanimated objects that had souls, and the dog Cairn has (which a translation calls Snowball I think).

Although, it does look like nature had evolved sometime during Phos’s hibernation, as these insects have three sets of wings, and look akin to that of lepidopteras, even though their wing material is unusual for a lepidoptera. However, some butterflies do have this type of wing, like the Greta Oto, or the Blushing Phantom.

Sensei and Antarcticite

Antarc, has adapted well. Apparently sometime on the Moon they (the lunarians) added a new ocean, most likely for recreational purposes since that’s how Antarc uses it. An interesting thing is Antarc is just walking around, naked. We do not question this or look further into it, it’s just an interesting detail.

Sensei and Antarc are most definetely in some sort of relationship. Antarc was teased about liking Sensei by Phos, Antarc and Sensei are a foil to Cairn and Aechmea, and everything else. Ladra’s and Sensei’s conversation about Antarc also seems to point to this, as Ladra (who is in a relationship) tells Sensei to go meet with Antarc with some persistence.

There is still, something deeply wrong with Sensei.

In Chapter 98, this is the earliest form of Sensei speaking, in the timeline. He seems to talk normally here. Aside from being formal with his mother.

(Bonus Shiro in the panel btw)

Throughout the manga, we can see him speak in a... peculiar way. We might assume this is because he wants the gems to remain oblivious, so his speech remains vague, but it’s not just that.

This is peculiar speech pattern is more noticable in Chapter 95, when he explains what happened to Phos to Antarc (in the worst way possible).

He does not mean to indict Phos like that, or paint Phos as a villian who really hated Sensei’s guts (Phos did, but it was a love/hate relationship with him). This, is literally just how Sensei speaks.

We can see this in both of Sensei’s interviews.

So, Sensei just talks like that. Ladra also wanted to ask further about this with Zircon (mentioning his memories, which probably refer to his memories of before the gems and lunarians), but he ran out of time.

The Temple & Museum

The Temple is an identical replica of the school/temple on earth. This is where Sensei is mentioned to continuously pray (out of habit). The gems who work here are Euc and Jade.

Jade mentions that they had moved the plants from the earth temple into the new moon temple. And that a jellyfish was born. Evidence that the caterpillars seen are most likely living creatures and not ‘lunarian’.

In association with this, there is a Museum. There is also an archives place where original specimen reside. The three who work here are Ghost Quartz, Neptunite, and Zircon. They work in translating the gem’s written records into lunarian language.

Zircon is called Curator Zircon. They look like a victorian boy and I love that for them.

Ghost mentions that Neptunite is helping them with translating. Neptunite is nonverbal for the most part. They don’t usually talk much. The only thing they say here in the interview is “Aa.”

They’re Putting A Gem on Display? (and The Gems That Don’t Appear)

As you read Zircon’s interview, you might’ve paused and went-

“What? They’re putting a gem on display?”

The “or...” implies something more sinister. I’ll chalk this up to it being a gem body from someone who could not be properly revived.

Euc mentioned that not everyone could be ‘revived’. This is due to a threshold requirement of memories. Whether it be living long enough to have memories or not is debatable. I think this is the case though. You might think Euc was referring to solely Lapis Lazuli by this conversation, as they couldn’t be revived because their head (the core part of their memories) is on Phos. This, is only half true. You see, throughout Party at the End, there are four others who are never seen nor mentioned.

These four are Heliodor, Sphalerite, Apophyllite, Pink Fluorite.

To jog your memory, Heliodor is the first known gem to be taken to the moon, right before the manga starts. Oh, but what’s this? They aren’t actually “dead”, they are a lunarian now. As seen in Chapter 95, it’s most likely them. However its weird that they are never seen in Party at The End. Especially with the sudden surprise we get later on.

They MIGHT’VE appeared in Party At The End actually. This could be them right here, since it looks like it can’t be either Morganites, as their bangs are different in Party At The End.

From the photo party that contained Ruby, Fluorite, Red Diamond, Benito, and another gem.

So, what about Apophyllite, Sphalerite, and Pink Fluorite? Well.

Pink Fluorite is seen used as a weapon (synthetic pink fluorite) against Antarc before they’re taken to the moon. They, along with Sphalerite were mentioned by Dia when the conversation of “gems with a hardness of 4 and below not being brought back” came up back in Chapter 67. Although it says Fluorite, we can guarantee its Pink Fluorite and not the Second Gem Fluorite, as there are countless of generations between the last generation of gems and Fluorite the Second. Sensei would also reveal the existence of Fluorite, after Dia left for the moon.

And also, we know what Sphalerite looked like. Sphalerites can come in orange. In Love Freedom Hell, on a page filled with miscellaneous gems, is an unknown orange gem. This is most likely Sphalerite.

So, Apophyllite? Well. They’re only mentioned once. When Phos is first taken to the moon. Apophyllite was similar in color to Phos. That is all we know.

All these gems, are under the hardness of 5. Only 5 and up can be revived.

Coincidence maybe, because the ice on the moon gathered the memories of all gems as a collective conscious. The actual gem contents that were in the morgues in the temple were also collected and brought to the moon. Meaning for them to not appear or be mentioned, and therefor most likely “dead”, they would have to have vital parts or most of the parts to bring them back because of their memories. Which is why Lapis can’t be revived.

This means gems who potentially were lost at sea could not be revived as a lunarian. Erosion could’ve played a part in slowly destroying gem bodies. Obsidian is obsidian. For all we know the opposite of them could’ve happened and one fell into lava. We just don’t know. Oh wait I just remembered about the time Aechmea mentioned that he tore apart some gems and mixed them with synthetics. That’s also probably another one.

Oh, but then I forgot. There’s Red Diamond.

Red Diamond was the first one, and the quickest, to be physically restored. Back when they first tried to bring back the gems in a physical manner based on shards. Happened in Chapter 72.

Red Diamond, most likely wouldn’t mind their body being showcased. Its the first, and strongest one. Red Dia is old, they act like they are an ancient piece of work still acting as if they’re living their golden years and is frankly, very open minded.

Lapis Lazuli is also a contender, as their entire body is on the moon. Their hardness is around 5 - 5.5. They could’ve been physically brought back during the first attempt. But the only thing missing would obviously be their head, and that... Is not a fun thing to look at in a museum.

There is a chance Lapis could have been planned as being used as the display. Lapis can’t come back, it could serve as a piece of legacy for Ghost. Everyone else is neutral on Lapis.

But Red Diamond is a full body, less negative connotations come with them and they were the first one who was born, and fell victim to this centuries long war.

Red Diamond’s old body could have been the one on display. Mostly. But I am not ruling out Lapis Lazuli either. It’s more practical to showcase Red Dia thinking about it.

Ghost & Cairn (and Lapis)

Everybody’s been wanting to know about how Ghost and Cairn resolved the things between them. We only get to see after the fact, but not how or during. Ghost does elaborate on this however.

They’re forgiven by Cairn, mostly for the time when they were together. Although they ARE seen as twins, they can be seen as a system too. Ghost DID control them, but that’s mostly when they were together, sharing the same body. Ghost was the one mainly in control. Ghost, did NOT control them once they were taken to the moon. This, is the fault of their microorganic inclusions. And also Cairn burdening themselves with the wish of their original host, restricting themselves. Because they feel obligated to. That is another issue for another day. Let’s talk about the inclusions.

Like Lapis, Ghost’s inclusions worked to cement what their original owners wanted to do. Lapis wanted to send a message to Phos, their inclusions did. But because Lapis is a completely different set of problems on their own, they were able to “transfer” their consciousness into Phos’s own dreamscape because the entirety of their memories went straight to their head for inclusions.

Ghost’s inclusions, work like that to a fault. Ghost wanted Cairn to protect Phos. Ghost did not mean “protect Phos at the cost of your own anatomy and sacrifice yourself for them”. Inclusions however, do not understand nor act beyond what is stated. There is no fine print. Inclusions hear “Protect Phos” and they make Cairn do it. Ghost had good intentions, their inclusions just didn’t enact that message and sentiment as such.

Ghost looks at Cairn with envy, as they’ve moved on. Cairn did “move on” in the more “I’m going to pretend that didn’t happen/exist because it’s not my problem” kind of way. Ghost yearns for Lapis Lazuli. They miss them. It could be unhealthy, it most certainly was back when they were just a gem and blamed themselves (and Cairn unintentionally) for their taking.

What’s interesting though, is that they’re not actively trying to revive Lapis anymore. Euc said they WERE trying to find a way to bring back gems that couldn’t be revived. So what gives?

Lapis, although with good intentions, was probably a threat to those around them. Euc stated that sometimes their intelligence was a bad thing and was used against others. Ghost was dependent on them and based their self worth on their usefulness to Lapis Lazuli. That thing with Cairn. The only positives we’ve seen with Lapis was when they spoke to Phos. Even then that could be written off as mischievous.

There’s also the head thing with Phos going on too.

Let’s also not forget the interesting detail of Lapis always being front-faced, staring at the “camera”/audience when shown.

Padparadscha

Speaking of weird little details when it comes to facing the “camera”, there is also Padparadscha and the way they’re shown in (almost) every photo they’re in (The Padparadscha bikini photos are exempt).

Padparadscha is the first gem to be interviewed, they have the same “job” as Rutile. Listening to people’s problems. They still seem to have some form of illness, as they’re in some form of a hospital as a patient. But they chalk it up to them being “lazy”, which is indeed part of their personality. Their holes did not translate into their lunarian body, as Ladra wanted to photograph them but there were none to photograph.

Padparadscha, throughout the most of the entirety of the booklet, does not directly show their face. It’s obscured. This is the opposite of Lapis Lazuli.

In these photo, Ladra is always looking up at them, and the sun is shining down on Padparadscha. Padparadscha keeps a distance from everyone, they’re on a ledge, etc.

Lets not forget the symbolism they have when it comes to buddhism. Associated with the lotus, both in name and meaning. This is PROBABLY showcased through how they’re viewed here on out.

Also, they were shown like this in Chapter 96 too.

Sphene, Topaz, and Peridot

These three, are made for each other. They all work together making figurines and other sculptures. It is mentioned that they use “inorganic material made from [them]”, so they’re probably using synthetic gem materials for their craftwork. They could also still be using wood, and perhaps even steel.

These three, just love creation. Peridot used to make paper. Sphene and Topaz used to be carpenters.

And yes, you are probably wondering why Peridot does not mention Blue Zoisite. Although their kidnapping DID affect Peridot, that was because it was their partner. Blue Zoisite was rebellious. They could have been close, albeit Topaz was definitely closer to Bluezo than them. Which is why Topaz asks Ladra about them, and not Peridot.

Peridot loves Sphene, Sphene loves Topaz, and Topaz loves Peridot. I like to think of this as a polyamorous relationship. They’re very cute together.

What? There’s Fog on The Moon?

The Morganites are working together! Both Old & New Morganite scour the open parts of the moon to work and build on expanding civilization to accompany the new entourage of gems. Old Morga is ecstatic to be working with a younger Morganite.

These two were hard to translate. Mostly because of the technobabble. I also just noticed one repeated line in Old Morga’s interview, so please forgive me for that.

The place that the Morganites are mapping is covered in fog.

This fog... Supposedly works on the vulnerable minds of people. Specifically lunarians who MIGHT remember their human lives, or the ones who remember when all five moons were occupied.

Lunarians remembering human life is, a double edged sword. On one hand, they explain how they’re the souls of the people who couldn’t move on. Cairn talks with one lunarian who remembers his days being a sailor. I, for the love of me, can’t find this, but I fucking remember this. Aechmea was able to accurately recall what Professor Ayumu looked like, and the shogi or go (I don’t know which one) pieces, and used shiro against him. He’s also mentioned as an old friend of Sensei.

 And then there’s the fact that the lunarians speak of humans as their ancestors, rather than being them. They talk about “marriage” as a foreign concept, to the gems and to themselves.

When trying to reconstruct a human, they tried to make human cells. They also tried to make a psuedo-human (Phos).

They also cannot synthesize the material Sensei is made out of, hexagonal diamond, also called lonsdaleite. Despite it being mostly synthetic and them specializing in synthesizing gems, they are apparently too out of their depth with it.

The fog, can be best described, as what Cairn experiences on the moon before transing their gender. It preys on a “sleeping” mind. A vulnerable mind. 

Another thing mentioned is the “Star of Salvation”. I have no clue what this meant when translating! It is in fact, what it says in the text though.

Throughout the text they mention stars. A lot. Whether it be “lava coming from stars” (a thing Obsidian says which: I dont really think so? Let’s not get into specifics), the Star of Salvation could refer to three things.

One, the Sun. No need to explain that one. Two, Phos. They’re the only savior for them all now. Three, Sensei. This is 99.9% Sensei because Morganite refers to the “Star of Salvation” as “him” and mentions “His son (Phos)”.

The Foodmakers

The candymakers(?) we know of are Alexandrite, Benitoite, and Thirty. They all work in the same candy(?) shop/resturaunt.

Alexandrite, is still in contact with Chrysoberyl. This is known since Chrysoberyl invites Ladra, Alexandrite, and Benitoite to... Alexandrite’s resturaunt.

Benitoite is seen as VERY DESIRABLE on the moon, despite being a cringefail husband. They originally went to the moon because they felt they weren’t too special. A lot of lunarians have the hots for them however.

Then there are Chrysoberyl and Old Goshenite. Old Goshe is a barista. They make coffee. Chrysoberyl is technically a flavourist. They’re trying to recreate flavours of the sun, which, I did not know about.

Gems absorb the sun, kind of like photosynthesis but without everything else, as they’re gems. It does however, seem like the taste of the sun changes. Whether it be do to the strongness of light, weather, location wise, etc.

Now, Benitoite is just a server/assistant for Alexandrite. Thirty, is kind of like an apprentice. They can handle the store entirely on their own sometimes, but still needs a bit of guidance when it comes to making food. They DO want to master their craft.

Thirty and Eighty both still talk to each other, they’re just at a healthy distance. Back then they both constantly worried about each other getting hurt or harmed in some way, which was the main reason why both of them wanted to go to the moon when Phos tried to convince them.

The Fantastical and Wonderful Anatomy of Obsidian (and The Planet They Mention)

While talking with Obsidian, it seems like they work in the same field as 84. Since they’re also in the same photo.

Obsidian, talks a lot about stars. But before we talk about that let’s talk about another thing: Obsidian’s anatomy.

Now, a long time ago, back when the first boom of Houseki no Kuni happened, (and thus fans from this era are called veterans: I’m one of them), a veteran fan made an essay and theory about how gems moved. This essay explained that the inside of the gems was probably liquid, or a melted form of the gem in question so that their joints and limbs could move. And when they break, the exposed part of the melted gem inside would instantly harden.

This theory, is half true. Mostly because it only applies to Obsidian.

The general consensus was that there was an abundance of obsidian, which led to all of the weapons being made out of obsidian. This is horrifyingly untrue.

All weapons, all things obsidian that the gems used, were directly pulled from Obsidian themself.

The inside of their body is liquid glass, they compared it to the likes of the mercury inside of Shinsha.

Of course, a lot of people would be wondering, “Why was this added in here? This is a sudden revelation about Obsidian” but surprise!!

This has been mentioned before.

Chapter 85, when they introduce the Cinnie Box. They say its lined with obsidian. And Obsidian, does this.

Obsidian, could melt themselves. This is another unexplored territory, like the one time Watermelon used electricity because they’re an electric conductor and then never used again because they don’t normally get “angry”.

Obsidian seems like they have an infinite source of liquid glass inside of them, much like how the mercury never stops coming out of Shinsha. Obsidian also can control the temperature of their own body at certain points so that they can melt and mold it into whatever they make.

This is why its easy for them to make weapons.

A horrifying, interesting fact that Obsidian uses their own body to create an abundance of weapons. Do you know how many swords have been lost to time? Do you know how big the blade of Ghost and Cairn’s scythe was? And when those get destroyed, Obsidian doesn’t even bat an eye to it!!! THAT WAS A PART OF YOU!!

Obsidian is the scariest motherfucker alive.

And now onto the stars.

The star, Obsidian talks about, is not an ordinary star. However unlike the “Star of Salvation” it is an actual type of planet.

Let’s talk about lava planets. Obsidian said that their huge... line thingy can detect star systems. Star systems include planets. This is the opposite of the ball thingy seen when Phos visited the moon for the first time, and I assumed they were used to synthesize gems, and they were.

Chapter 56

In comparison to the star system simulator.

Now, minerals and planets go hand in hand. There is plenty of diamond on many other planets, like peridot (or at least related forms of peridot).

Obsidian mentions that lava comes from a “star” which we know is a lava planet. Obsidian is... not right when it comes to the thing they’re talking about.

Obsidian wanted to know what exactly they came from, not location wise but material wise. Of course everyone knows Obsidian comes from cooled lava.

Which comes from volcanoes. Volcanoes, only exist under the sea in houseki no kuni. The island is the only thing on the surface.

In every shot they show the earth, the earth is just... water.

I can’t for the life of me find out the name of the type of island the gems lived on, but I do know another veteran fan talked about it during the early stages of the fandom.

The island, is most definitely an oceanic island. If there is a volcano underneath, it probably has a weird outlet on the wall that usually produces gems which led to Obsidian being born.

This way of creation for obsidian, is what should have been mentioned. That volcanoes on earth form obsidian. But Obsidian talks a lot about the “star” (planet) in their interview.

A lava planet can happen in a couple of ways.

1) A planet that collided with something, or something impacted it. 2) It’s too fucking close to a star 3) It’s a relatively new planet that is still developing This... Well you know which one I’m going to point out.

This planet, is a newly formed planet. Obsidian even confirms this too.

Now, whether or not this will be relevant, perhaps. This planet is still in its early years, and its not even CLOSE to being fully formed.

We, do not know how much time has passed between Phos praying away the entirety of all species, and Phos meeting their new best friend. We do know that probably millions of years has passed, as when Pebble/Rock yells out Phos is completely covered by nature.

It is long enough for an entire cave system (that is what I am assuming it is) to form huge crystal structures.

And it is long enough, to watch a dying star together. Phos mentions a white dwarf.

This planet, could be fully formed by now.

It could be whatever the fuck the outer entities that keep making these booklets are, however they could be from a completely different planet or star system in general.

The entities that made the encyclopedia, were present during the story. They probably traveled to this particular star system at some point and visited the moon, picking up and translating Party at the End.

Or, they could be another separate entity from the first ones that made the encyclopedia. Who the fuck knows! I don’t! I’m speculating! And we can only have this answered in future chapters, if Ichikawa chooses to address this (especially with another additional booklet which will most likely go in depth about the current ecosystem and changes that happened when Phos was dormant).

Gem Reveal: The Beryls, Red Diamond & Flourite

So, we were expecting to see some new faces. And we were right!!

We got to finally see what Aquamarine looks like, who was mentioned in Red Beryl’s dramatis personae, and Fluorite.

And a completely new gem!! Emerald!!

The gems picked in question when it comes to characters is a LOT.

Some of these gems, are well known in the gemstone industry. The gemstone industry is, obviously, about gemstones. The gemstone industry is also a huge part of the jewelry industry. The gemstone industry IS related to the mineral industry, but they’re not the same thing. Gemstones are about the way the light disperses, the colors, the inclusions, etc.

There are plenty of gems in the houseki no kuni cast that are a part of this industry. These gems are: Blue Zoisite (however it is more known as Tanzanite), Morganite, Goshenite, Diamonds, Sphene (also known as Titanite), Amethyst, Alexandrite, Lapis Lazuli, Topaz, the Corundums, the Beryls, Jade, Zircon, and Peridot.

Even if you’ve never heard of morganite and goshenite before, go to the newest shop with a gemstone section. Now look into the display. You will see plenty of goshenites, morganites, topaz, and tanzanite. I have seen a lot. They are also priced around $100-300. Mostly. I have seen a lot of london topaz. And a lot of tanzanite too, however those can go for a shit ton more, and sometimes are even more expensive than diamonds, because of their rarity and a lot of legal stuff surrounding it.

Then there are the gems well known in the mineral industry. If you like houseki no kuni, chances are: you collect minerals. Everyone probably has a piece of agate, rose quartz, amethyst, nacre/mother of pearl, and magnetite that you hit together and eventually break. If you’re more insane than that, you probably own shit like tungsten, calcite, copper, fool’s gold, and others.

Mineral enthusiasts and collectors, do not necessarily care if it is a crystal or not. That shit came from the ground you want it.

“Gems” from the cast that are well known in this mineral industry are: Rutile, Watermelon Tourmaline, Euclase, Benitoite, Neptunite, Fluorite, Cinnabar, Phantom Quartz (known as Ghost Quartz in hnk), Smokey Quartz (Cairngorm is this), Sphalerite, Apophyllite, Hemimorphite, Phosphophyllite, and Obsidian.

Granted, because of houseki no kuni, phosphophyllite has absolutely raised in price and on behalf of my fellow brethren I’d like to apologize to the mineral collectors who don’t know why phosphophyllite has risen in price by 500%: I am so, so sorry.

You might realize there are some who aren’t mentioned in either of these industries. Two to be exact. This is because they are special cases.

Antarcticite and Bortz.

Antarcticite is in the mineral industry, however it is so obscure and lesser known. And can only come from two places.

Antarctica and California. What’s up with the geology in California that produces rare minerals? Who the fuck knows.

Bortz, is a rare case. Bortz is a diamond, and yes you can get it in the mineral industry, but its mostly used for tools. Bortz, is an industrial grade diamond.

There is actually, a lot of industrial grade diamonds. There is a shit ton of different types of bortz, I researched them for my essay back in highschool and could namedrop them all, but I digress.

Haruko Ichikawa also likes to flex, and mary sue some gems, by making them the rarest type of gem. And also very obscure ones.

Imperial Topaz, Pink Topaz, Green Diamond, Red Diamond, Red Beryl, Padparadscha, you get the point. She wants you to know this island produces top notch, all rare gems. Obscure ones like Cairngorm and Antarcticite.

So, with all this in mind, its no surprise that she threw in Emerald. Emerald, is a popular beryl in the gemstone industry, like Aquamarine. I think it would be a sin for her to have forgotten about Emerald.

Emerald is best friends with Aquamarine and Red Beryl. These three were probably alive at the same time, because they know each other.

And there is Fluorite!! Fluorite is not green! Fluorite is explicitly stated to be purple.

(This is from the newest version of Red Diamond’s interview, the original raw text is still there, but the newly translated sentence has been added, if you dont have the second line then please redownload Red Diamond’s interview in the dropbox link!)

We only saw what Fluorite looked like before being shaped

Fluorite did, in fact, have long hair, so it is in fact, on par with how they look now.

(Emerald, Red Diamond, Aquamarine, Fluorite)

The Young Ones

Watermelon, Hemimorph, and New Goshenite are trendsetters. Well, mostly Watermelon and Hemimorph while New Goshe is ‘hip’. They speak in bro speak.

It’s interesting that New Goshe is never referred to as ‘Young Goshe’ but instead as “Master” (once I might add) but that’s probably just a friendly nickname everyone calls them. Can’t look too much into that.

Watermelon and Hemimorph, always were young souls. Despite Phos being younger than them actually. It’s jarring once you think about it. Everyone treated Phos as an elder because of the things they went through, mostly that they had “matured” because of trauma, and forget that Phos was the youngest of them, and then after New Goshe & Morga were born, the third youngest.

These two are an interesting case, because despite changing so much, they haven’t changed at all. This is the case with most gems. They change so much, still haven’t changed at all. Nothing changes despite changing so much.

These two never “grew up”. They just adapted.

Diamond, Bortz, and The Admirabilis

 Diamond and Bortz. They are brothers. Their relationship isn’t perfect, but its on par with one thing: being siblings. Siblings constantly annoy the fuck out of each other. Except Diamond is the older one, while Bortz is younger. Usually its the younger sibling annoying the older sibling.

Diamond, is still getting used to being a lunarian. Literally everything is fine, minus one thing: they don’t have their bright shining colors anymore.

So, they have a machine that’ll reflect the colors that Dia originally had beforehand!

Back then, Dia despised and hated Bortz for being the best at their craft: combat, and sword skills. Dia wanted to compete and be the best one, and was jealous of Bortz and took their criticism as a personal insult.

Now however, Dia has grown. Them destroying (confronting in a way) Bortz and them all being lunarians probably let Dia calm down a bit, they were right that they had to confront the issue dead on at first.

After becoming lunarians, Dia is trying to get Bortz to form an idol pair with them. Dia, wants Bortz to be a part of their job. That, is a form of growth in of itself. They don’t think of it as competition, and them wanting Bortz to work with them is a form of brotherly love. Of course Bortz doesn’t work like that and so they keep rejecting it, but seeing Dia grow in a way where instead of thinking about competition they want their brother to join in on the job they love, even if Dia has an ‘ego’ about being the best in the universe, it’s still great!

Bortz, is a jellyfish researcher. So obviously they don’t want a part of that. Along with being a jellyfish researcher, they were in charge of taking care of the admirabilis.

They reunited the admirabilis, and a new king was born sometime after. And credit to fellow admirabilis lover @/kordeliiius (I’m not @’ing you because i dont want to destroy ur notifs) who mentions that the new King of The Admirabilis at that point, was male because of the use of 彼.

Now, when I say “reuniting the admirabilis” I don’t believe they’re talking about the moon and the earth admirabilis. As Bortz is seen with a moon admirabilis (it has no shell since they evolved without shells from living in the city water on Phos’s decision). You can tell by the many legs and the little antennae ears most nudibranches have.

Who they actually reunited is all of the earth admirabilis. According to the rough translation of Life and Culture of Y-3579203181277 (imgur link of the entire thing) (@/bakemeats also has a cleaner, but partial translation of the booklet but it stops at the Chairs/Desks: 1, 2, 3, 4), there were 8 factions on earth. They were all in the southern hemisphere, which means that if the ‘original’ faction was “near” -and I say that in quotations because it took a few hours of Phos walking to even get to the trap Ventricosus and the Lunarians had set up- then the island is located... Somewhere in the southern hemisphere. Or right on the line.

Anyways, it seems that Bortz (and others most likely) manage to reunite all 8 factions and got them to communicate with each other.

I’m going to go on another tangent real fast. As you might’ve guessed, Gem Writing Systems and the Lunarian’s Writing Systems are completely different. That’s why Ghost and Neptunite were translating.

However, their languages are probably somewhat different too. Or the psychology behind it is unique in them understanding each other’s language.

When Phos started to suspect the lunarians, they heard a lunarian utter a few syllables, which would’ve sounded like “anxiety” in japanese (it’s intended language) as far as I know. Phos and Lapis could understand this. So did Ghost.

And, when the gems went to the moon, they understood the lunarians just fine.

Phos, could understand the ice floes, who’s now known to just be the voice of Sensei’s older brother, and the admirabilis. Two different ‘species’ that the other gems could not.

But the lunarians could understand the (earth) admirabilis.

However, the lunarians can’t seem to understand Sensei’s Older Brother’s voice?? Remember they thought it was both him and the humans but moreso the humans who tried to mimic the lunarian ships to get them [him] out of the water. If they understood him then they would’ve realized that he was hostile.

So the lunarians could not understand him.

Now it goes in a circle, the gems understand the lunarians, the lunarians understand the admirabilis, the gems can’t understand the admirabilis but Phos can, and Phos can also understand the woes of Sensei’s Older Brother.

Looking through the manga, it does not seem like there is a language barrier between the lunarians and the moon admirabilis either.

Phos, could only understand the admirabilis after being absorbed and melted by Ventricosus, so they probably inherited the knowledge of the language. Phos could understand Sensei’s Older Brother by ... some fuckery I’ll tell you that. We don’t actually know how Phos was able to understand him.

Now that the gems are lunarians, they can probably understand the admirabilis just fine. Whatever was acting as a barrier between them is now gone. If they reunited all 8 factions that meant they had to go to earth at some point, and talked to them about The End and everything else. 

As we know, the admirabilis did agree. We see them in Chapter 98. However the only visible ones are Variegatus, Ventricosus, and Aculeatus.

Now, an interesting thing: the Admirabilis are sexually dimorphic, we know that. What we also know is that the Kings are physically different than the rest of the admirabilis.

We can tell because the admirabilis shown in Chapter 76, do not have a crown on top of their heads.

This also applies to Aculeatus since he’s not king.

Variegatus, Ventricosus, and Convallarius share this “crown” shape trait.

And here, is the admirabilis in Chapter 98.

If you’ve figured it out, congrats! Those are all the other Kings that ruled the Admirabilis behind the three. That’s a lot.

The Rose Garden (and Rutile)

We know that in Chapter 96, Yellow, Green Dia, Pinkto, Ruby, and Sapphire manage the Rose Garden. The roses are used for multiple things.

Ruby and Sapphire were partners with each other before(?) pairing up with Yellow Dia at some point. Because they’re corundums, they also know Padparadscha and Rutile. They even messed with Rutile when they first started trying to fix Padparadscha, this is expanded on in a little comic in Love Freedom Hell.

Even if they hang out with Yellow, Green, and Pinkto more, they still visit Rutile.

These two can be appropriately called “party animals”, because they seem to have picked up the habit of drinking. And visit Rutile while drunk.

Rutile’s rebellious nature before becoming a doctor (and a therapist) comes out when they interact with these two. It seems that Rutile originally excused their behavior (and colors) because they were “born that way” as gems.

We also see Sapphire and Ruby in the Rose Garden.

During the time Phos was broken up into pieces and hid on earth, Yellow went through therapy for their trauma of partners being taken to the moon. Yellow, could not handle this (or as 84 says, can’t handle 220 years of introspection). At this time Yellow was already heavily depressed seeing the changes on the earth during the Moon Raid.

Because of this huge depression of trauma, they had a form of psychotic breakdown and lived in a delusion where they are actually a lunarian for some time. This meant that while they believed they were a lunarian, they forgot about their partners.

And then, they actually became a lunarian. Except now with their once shattered partners.

I’ve stated this in a post before, but because they are now a lunarian (what their delusion was about), and because of their partners now being with them, there was a cognitive dissonance. They are constantly reminded of their gem life, but now they’re a lunarian. This advanced their mental deterioration and resulted in: dementia.

They can still form new memories, to a fault. They know Ladra. In Chapter 96 they remembered to get roses for Thirty.

But, they also gradually forget, and so they form a circle of forgetting and remembering. We can see it in, once again, Chapter 96.

Time did not ‘cure’ their dementia, since dementia cannot be cured.

We can see them forget the interview with Ladra, and repeat.

Yellow, can still recall their gem life, even though its extremely painful to do so. This is why the delusion of being a lunarian happened in the first place. They seem at least aware to a degree that they have dementia.

The dementia seems to have affected their speech too, as its mostly filled with repetition. Unless this is just pertaining to one sentience and they don’t actually repeat their speech even if they’re currently in a state of clarity.

Although it’s really sad, I do think this character direction is interesting, and that Ichikawa intended it to happen in the first place.

You can’t fix everyone. Bringing back everything and what they wanted won’t fix or bring them back to their old self. Yellow was always the oldest. They were 3,597 years old in Chapter 12, and they only got older and older. Even in Chapter 12 they couldn’t remember why they were fighting.

Chrysoberyl also mentioned how at some point, they were an ‘old man’. But we do not know how old they were when they were taken. They lived in the same time frame as Peridot and Sphene, two gems who were younger than Yellow, but they seem to be around those two’s ages and a little bit older, rather than being older than Yellow.

Because of everyone being revived as lunarians, there were no ‘stakes’ like there used to be in the manga. The lunarians even got what they wished for, to turn into nothingness, in the end. A story has to have some form of collateral, especially one like this, or it’s message would be rendered useless, especially one of the core ideas, which is change. Change has to happen whether it be good or bad, it doesn’t matter. Changing for the better, also has to have some form of collatoral. A loss.

That’s why Cairn gets with Aechmea, who used them to make sure Phos was lonely, before he eventually fell in love with them himself (Disclaimer: Cairn transing their gender is not a bad change, it was forshadowed and Ghost’s inclusions and gem society/rules seemed to prevent them from embracing themselves, like Bortz in a way. I’m talking about their relationship with Aechmea), it’s not a high stake situation, collateral in some form itself.

Yellow, was more an extreme form of this. They got everything they wanted, but developed dementia. However their previous partners help them, act as their caretakers, and overall supports them. They’re just happy they’re with Yellow. I think this is really sweet.

Bonus Round: The Party

The party, starts after Cairn’s interview. Now, the party is really interesting.

Because you can recognize some gems, and then you can’t.

When the gems turned into lunarians, they gained more human features like their noses changing and their hair loosing stiffness and becoming more... hair-like. This means they can change their hairstyles more regularly, and since there is no color we can’t tell who is who sometimes.

We can recognize Euc, Watermelon, New Goshe, Hemimorph, and a few others obviously.

The party isn’t just comprised of gems, no. They also have lunarians attending too. This is mentioned in Cairn’s interview.

You can even see it here. The bunny ears indicate that it’s a native lunarian.

I also didn’t notice until recently, but there are two other lunarians in this photo. On the right. Two male lunarians. Gay lunarians? In MY party?

This is not Aechmea and Sensei. Although Aechmea is also seen wearing a jabot (the ruffle thingy on the collar), he has a different set of accessories on that jabot, and his suit has a lapel (the folds of the suit). Aechmea has a butterfly jabot pin with beads below it, Sensei also has this motif (and what seems to be a tucked in jabot). Yes this has to do with symbolism. Transformation, rebirth, I’m sure they have another meaning in buddhism but I can’t 100% tell you what they mean.

What is interesting is also Sensei’s many brooches. He has many brooches relating to flowers, a weighing scale (or scales of justice), and a brooch that has an eye on it.

The brooch that has an eye, can refer to Sensei’s eyes, or Ayumu’s eye, or Phos’s eye. Sensei’s Older Brother also has a singular eye.

Oh? But I see something familiar.

Hmm, where have I seen this flower before?

Chapter 100

I may be pulling this out of my ass, who knows. These could be pansies. Which symbolizes thoughtfulness, and remembrance.

There’s actually a lot of flower symbolism in Party At the End. Not the first time. There was a change in Chapter 93, which Yaku Translations on Twitter mentioned. Instead of Psuedo-Human Phos seeing Young Phos run to Sensei’s room, they see a dandelion seed, which represents innocence. There was a dandelion seed in the original manga-issued version compared to the volume-version however.

When Phos becomes enlightened, the dandelion is in full bloom.

Said dandelion can also be seen in the cover art.

Throughout The Party at the End, there’s a list of flowers mentioned.

Gypsophila (mentioned by Jade), Pink Mushrooms (Hemimorph, probably referring to Pleurotus djamor AKA The Pink Oyster Mushroom), Lotus Seeds (A lot of gems mention it), Lily (Cairn), Lavender (Padpa), and Roses (The Rose Garden, Padpa). Let’s also not forget the saturn-purple rose Bluezo just straight up eats (kisses????). Some of these are mentioned in forms of food, like Gypsophila tea (Jade) and Lavender cake (Padpa).

Gypsophila stands for Innocence & Purity, mushrooms are Transformation (mushroom symbolism in general, not “pink mushroom”, also pulling this one out of my ass), Lotus themselves mean enlightment in buddhism so the fact that they mention lotus seeds symbolize that the gems/lunarians are not yet there. Lilies can mean a lot of things, like affections for loved ones, purity and innocence (pink ones can also mean feminity, which would apply to Cairn here). Lavender is devotion & peace/serenity/calm.

Roses have different meaning based on their color. Red roses we know are for romantic/true love, yellow can mean two separate things which is friendship and jealousy/betrayal (here we’re going with the friendship part because of Yellow Diamond), red and yellow flowers together means joy and happiness, and in Bluezo’s & Ladra’s case, violet/lavender roses stands for love at first sight.

There’s also this

This is a photo of Shinsha, Antarc, and Cairn. They have plenty of different types of flowers on here.

And here

And the final page.

There’s a lot of symbolism with flowers.

There’s also a lot of cherries! Could just be the fact that they’re at a party, or it could be symbolism too! Who knows!

There’s also one thing we all know... The elephant in the room. The image that shocked us to the core when the previews/leaks first appeared.

THE KISS

Honestly, I don’t know how to approach this one guys.

It certainly has to be Diamond?? Red Diamond is chilling with (Purple) Fluorite and a couple others. And it makes the most sense that it’s Diamond, because Diamond always had a fascination with love and romance, even asking to watch Cairn and Aechmea cuddle and gushing over their relationship.

The other gem, has long hair, frills, and a thing behind their ear. This is angering me because I DON’T KNOW WHO IT’D BE.

It doesn’t make sense with most gems.

Let’s approach this from a different angle. What if it’s Obsidian?

It could be 84, as they have the same length hair as Thirty, who’s hair is pretty long.

But NO!! It’s almost definetely Diamond because they’re obsessed with love as a concept.

And not everyone who was interviewed appears in the party photos.

It could be Pink Fluorite or Apopyllite. If we’re stretching it out. There are long haired gems, but they don’t seem to have a close relationship with Diamond. It makes it so FRUSTRATING.

Anyways.

There is also this photo.

The known gems here are Red Diamond, Benito, Ruby, and Fluorite. The gem on the top right corner isn’t Watermelon, and inspecting both Morganites’ bangs means its not them, so I’m taking a leap of faith and claiming its Heliodor. Because Heliodor was turned into a lunarian.

So, whos the gem next to Benito? You could claim its Alexandrite, but they still have their ahoge, long hair, and the long side hairs. Its a differen’t gem. And their bangs seem to be a type of bangs that not a lot of gems have. And even if the gems had it their hairstyles would’ve been different.

Like I said, we already know what Sphalerite looks like. They have medium-length hair so it’s not them.

 So, here’s my speculation: you know how theres mostly gems of the same type but different colors? There’s a short haired, and a long haired version. Pinkto has long hair, Topaz has short hair. New & Old Morga have short and long hair. Loosely also applies to New & Old Goshe, where Old Goshe’s bangs are more exaggerated than New Goshe.

They could be Pink Fluorite.

The have the overal same ‘vibe’ as (Purple) Fluorite. But this time with extremely short hair.

Nice guess, right? Well it’s unconfirmed and we’ll probably never know. And that makes me ANGRY!!!!

The gem, with the lunarian heart ring, is most likely Bluezo. If it were Sensei or Aechmea the face wouldn’t be obscured. Ladra’s face is obscured in all photos.

Bluezo, is also probably the faceless and naked gem body at the end. It would make sense. Even if theres no ring on the left hand (that we see). And it’s after the group photo of most of the gems at the party.

And the pomegranate.

This is more... Confusing. The obvious ones are purity and fertility, especially looking at the placement. It also symbolizes immortality, but thats mostly in other cultures.

I can’t find a clear answer with buddhism on this one. On one hand, so many places say that pomegranates are part of the “three blessed fruits” in buddhism along with the citrus and peach, but I can’t a lot that goes into depth on them.

General consensus is that the peach means longevity, citrus means happiness, and pomegranate is fertility. Interesting choice, as the lunarians (this now includes gems) cannot have children. The population only grows because they’re bringing back souls of who used to be.

But the only other mention I see of a pomegranate in buddhism is Hariti/Kishimojin which would DEFINITELY not apply here I think.

So, I have no clue!!

Although this party is estimated to have happened recently after Phos became a pseudo-human and after the first party, and before the 10,000 years, the last page still looks like its the End. As if they’re all desintigrating. As mentioned before, Lunarian structures sometimes (not all structures) will remelt at the end of the day and build back up. This is probably what’s happening. It’s still a nice ending to the booklet.

#hnk #houseki no kuni #lotl #land of the lustrous #my post #text post #long post #extra long post #penn talks about pens #some of the longness is because of the photos #but also I have to go 100% ON EVERYTHING!!! EVERYTHING #so here you guys go #read this in your own time please #its a lot

[leozackk]

Mom I did it my nightracer art is on pinterest!!! Too bad they didn't link back to my tumblr page 😔 at least it was when I signed my art

#Penn talks about pens

[fictionalmenmakemecry]

Fuckin' with the Ecosystem- Chapter 2

Characters: Carmy Berzatto x Reader

Summary: You spend your Sunday afternoon with Carmy, by your side, trying to make sense of the piles of disorganized paperwork. You finally have a chance to ask what happened to his brother, only to regret it after finding out the answer. You start to realize you might be there for more than just financial guidance.

Warnings: Angst, Suicide mentions, Alcohol.

A/n: I'm really excited writing this series. It's been awhile since writing something like this. I hope you guys enjoy it and please let me know what you think! Any feedback would be amazing. If there's any other ideas you have in mind about our Carmy, my requests are open!

Here's chapter one, if haven't read yet.

Enjoy :)

It was a Sunday evening, and after officially a week of being at 'The Original Beef of Chicagoland,' you were no were nowhere closer to telling Carmy the legal or financial status of his restaurant.

It took you half the week to just organize the random letters and scraps of paper laying in boxes. With that, there was still portions missing.

Carmy came through the swinging doors with two plates. He placed your plate on the desk and scooted a chair closer to you. He felt bad about dropping this bomb on you. But even worse now, because you came in every day this week to get on top of this mess.

When he found out that you were coming in today, there was no doubt that he was coming in too, even though the restaurant was closed. He didn't say anything though, knowing you would try and convince him not to come in.

You looked up and gave him a grateful smile picking up the plate of pasta and swapping your pen for a fork.

"Don't go too hard on me. It's whatever I could lay my hand on." He said with his mouth half full.

You rolled my eyes, like you were going to be judging him on his culinary skills right now. Especially, after everything you saw in the previous job.

You stabbed the penne pasta with your fork and shoved it in your mouth, not really caring about the taste. You started to notice how hungry you really were. The taste was the last thing on your mind. Saying that, it was delicious.

You both sat in silence, scoffing down the food as fast as possible. Carmy took the cleared plates from you and worked his way back to the kitchen.

As he rinsed the last bit of suds off the plates, he paused a moment and went over to the mini fridge in the corner of the kitchen. He took out two chilled bottles, thinking that you need something to help you relax after searching through piles of paper all day.

After a few moments, he popped back through the doors with two beers in his hand.

"Thanks." You smiled, taking the cold beer from him.

"I wish we had somethin' stronger than this, but 'aven't found my brother's hidden stash yet." Carmy put the lip of the bottle on the edge of the desk and slammed his hand down on it.

The cap popped off and fell onto the ground and he took a swig of his beer.

"He has one?" You asked, trying the same move as he just did with his bottle.

You slammed your hand onto it but at the wrong angle. Your hand ended up punching the desk and you felt the pain traveling up your arm.

"Fuck" You muttered wincing.

You look over to see Carmy holding back a smile and reached over to take the bottle off of you.

"Very smooth" He broke into a snicker before doing the same maneuver on your bottle with ease.

"Fuck you" You smirked back, snatching the bottle off of him and bringing it to your mouth.

You looked over to see him leaning back on the chair with his legs straight out in front of him. Your feet leaning against his awkwardly in the smallest office in Chicago.

"How's Nick?" He asked, playing with the beer label.

"Uh.. I wouldn't know" You were caught off guard by the question. Since coming into town, you and him haven't really had the chance to talk about anything other than work.

"We broke up a year ago." You eventually said taking a glance up at him.

Thank fuck, he thought to himself

"Shit, sorry, I didn't know" He hummed taking another drink.

"Nah, it's fine. The relationship was past its expiry. It was becoming toxic as hell." You glanced up at him with a soft smile.

"You were right though" You continued after a moment of silence.

Carmy looked up with slight confusion, wondering what you were talking about.

"He was lying to me, about... well pretty much everything." You explained, feeling the sinking feeling in your heart.

You remembered finding out about all the lies. That the person you had spent so much time with had lied about everything good in his life. You didn't know him at all.

A memory sparked in Carmy's mind, he was back in New York. He was at a bar with you. After begging him week after week to go out for a drink with you, he gave in. Too many beers later, he blurted out his real thoughts on Nick. Looking back, he couldn't help but cringe on the way he acted. He couldn't even remember the exact words he said. But he remembers your reaction and the hurt in her eyes.

"W-What did I even say?" Carmy asked, squinting his eyes trying to think back harder.

You thought back to the memory. The loud music, sticky bar table and Carmy's messy hair across from you. You remember smelling beer on his breath and his words were slightly slurred. The haze in his eyes was getting thicker.

"Um.. you said that Nick was full of shit." You recalled and then smiled to yourself when you remembered more.

"And I quote 'He's playing you like a fuckin' fiddle'" Feeling a smirk climb onto your face.

Carmy rubbed his mouth down with his hand trying to hide his smile. But a smile broke through anyway.

"Jesus, I really have a way with words." He scoffed to himself, taking another gulp from the bottle.

You quietly laughed, bringing the beer up to your mouth.

Carmy brought his hand to his hair to scratch his head. He felt ashamed for his raw words. But he was grateful that you didn't hold it against him.

To say he struggled socially would be an understatement. He felt too awkward sometimes, to the point where he would be uncomfortable. Over the years of moving the way he did, he rarely had more than one or two friends at most. Those friends were mostly work colleagues.

"Can I ask you somethin'?" You asked bringing him out of thought.

He nodded, putting his empty beer bottle on the desk.

"How did your brother..." You trailed off, not knowing how to phrase your question.

"He killed himself, shot himself in the head," Carmy's said bluntly, crossing his arms avoiding eye contact with you. His stare never leaving the floor.

You stared at him and didn't say a word. For some reason, you just thought he died in a car accident. Your mind went blank for a moment only to realise what Carmy might be going through.

"Fuck Carmy, I'm so sor-"

"Don't." He interrupted, shaking his head.

"It's fine. Really." He shrugged getting up abruptly to the point it startled you a little.

He grabbed his empty beer bottle and gestured at you to see if you wanted another one.

You nodded absent-minded, still digesting the bomb he dropped on you.

He went to the kitchen and shook his head in annoyance while walking to the fridge. He felt like a shithead saying something like that so plainly. He didn't want to scare you away. It didn't help that he walked away straight after saying it.

Well fuckin' done, smooth as always, he thought to himself on his way to the fridge.

He came back with two new bottles and cracked them open with ease again. He placed yours on the desk in front of you.

You both sat there, not saying a word. He was never the type that was good with words. Usually talking got him into more trouble. His family were blunt and to the point. No feelings were ever spared in the household. He didn't want to be that way. Since moving away, he always made an effort to get better at communicating.

You looked over to see his leg shaking non stop. It was dumb for you to bring up his brother. You could have asked anyone else, and they would have told you.

You gulped down the last of your first one and pushed it onto the desk. Carmy held the neck of the bottle, resting it between his legs. He shifted in his seat, making you glance over at him.

"I didn't mean to unload this on you. For some reason, I thought you knew. It's fuckin' stupid for me to think that." He leaned forward resting his arms on his thighs.

"I-I'm sorry," He continued, resting his hand on your arm, looking up through his lids.

You looked down at his hand on your arm, the warmth of his hand on your wrist.

"You're the last person that's should apologise." You gave a weak smile resting your hand on top of his.

You both sat there, not saying anything. The peace you felt between both of you was something you missed since going your separate ways. You notice that his leg shake slowed down to a halt.

"If you need someone, you know I'm here, right?" You angled your head making sure to keep eye contact.

"Yea- yeah I know" He nodded pulling away and leaning back into his chair.

Since moving back to Chicago, he hasn't had a moment to himself to think. He didn't know if he even wanted one. He felt that if he stopped for one brief moment, that everything would catch up. His thoughts, feelings and grief. Him being next to you, gave him comfort. Having someone who knew him before his life turned into a shitshow. His old life where it was stressful but not chaotic. Not the way it is now.

He took out his pack of cigarettes, taking one out before turning the pack to you.

You quit smoking a year ago but didn't have the heart to deny his offer, especially after the heart wrenching conversation. You took one and got up from your seat grabbing the coat from the chair. You followed him out behind the building. His cigarette held between his lips as his zipped up his wool jacket shielding him from the sharp breeze. It was becoming dark, the fall evenings really settling in Chicago.

Carmy searched his pockets and pulled out a pink transparent lighter, flicking it with his thumb a couple of times before a small flame emitted from it. A glow was cast on his face, with the end of his smoke burning bright orange.

You gazed at him with the weight of guilt in your stomach. You started to think that maybe you weren't just there for management guidance. Maybe you were there for support. It was hard to tell, Carmy was never the type to speak his thoughts. That's what made this so difficult. How do you ask someone about something so sensitive?

You gave a quick smile as he leaned the lighter to you. You inhaled watching the cigarette catch a light before feeling the smoke travel down to your lungs. You exhaled letting out a sigh of relief, forgetting the bliss that smoking gave you. He looked up with his lip curled at the end blowing smoke out his nose.

"It's been awhile" You looked over smiling softly.

He gave a slight nodded, scratching his upper lip with his thumb while holding the cig.

Your denim jacket wasn't doing you any favors in this unforgiving cold, you brought your arms closer to your body. You didn't think Chicago was going to be this cold into Fall and took note that you needed to buy a heavier one.

"How long can you stay?" He asked walking over and sitting down to the weathered wooden bench.

You take a seat beside him thinking about your response.

"Uhhh, great question." You licked your lips after another pull.

How do you break it to him that you lost your job 3 months ago.

You clicked your pen over and over, sitting in the office on a late weeknight. As you looked at the roster for the upcoming weeks you double checked the bookings to make sure enough staff was around for the busy season to come. With people taking their PTO, it was a challenge every year that always left you with a nightmare to figure out. The knock on the door broke your focus and you looked up to see Vince popping his head in.

"Hey Vince" You smiled leaning back on the office chair.

"Hey" He closed the door behind him gently and you noticed something off immediately.

"How's things going?" He asked with soft tone stuffing his hands into his back pockets.

"Just the usual, it's the time of the nightmare PTO" You chuckled lightly.

"What's up?" You glanced at the clock on the wall noticing this was an off time for him to check in, 10pm on a Tuesday night.

He took a deep breath but keeping his gaze on the ground. You felt your stomach turn from the sudden change in atmosphere.

"I-I don't know how to say this." He stuttered.

Now you were real concerned, you sat up watching him. He was only a shadow of his usual self. The bearded man who would put a smile on your face when just being around his presence. He would check in on everyone to make sure there was no issues. He helped you become who you are today with everything he thought you when it came to managing a bustling restaurant.

"Marie, she's been diagnosed with ....cancer." His voice broke, you could tell he was holding back.

"What?" You said to yourself in disbelief. You saw her last week when she came in to check in. She looked fine, totally normal.

"But-" You stopped not wanting to say anything to upset him.

"Did you get a second opinion?" You asked after a moment, hearing about misdiagnoses can be a thing.

He nodded looking down at the ground. You could tell he was barely keeping it together. They've been together for decades and you knew this hit him to his core.

"It's stage 4" He whispered keeping his eyes on the floor.

You stared at him, not understanding the words coming out of his mouth. You've known them for years. You've grown as a manager here. You've been through the ups and downs, through the surreal covid time.

"I'm so sorry Vince-" You said sympathetically, getting up from the chair to try and comfort him.

He went on to tell you that they would have to shutdown the restaurant for the foreseeable future if not for good. They didn't have enough time nor money to keep the restaurant going and treat his wife for however long she had left. You started recommending things that might help them but it seemed that the decision was already made.

You watch him leave the office sorrowfully and in that instant felt completely lost. The roster that you were making, didn't matter. The new menus that were freshly printed on your desk didn't matter. You could hear Vince muffled voice from the kitchen. Most likely telling the rest of the staff the devastating news.

Two weeks later, you closed up the restaurant for the last time. After spending years there, you had no backup plan. It was completely unexpected.

The honking of a car down the street snapped you out of your trance.

"The thing is.." you paused flicking the ash off your cigarette.

"Vince shut up shop a couple of months ago" You blew smoke out of your mouth.

"What?" Carmy furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

You nodded dropping the butt on the ground smooshing it with you boot.

"Marie got cancer, terminal" You stated remembering the last phone conversation you had with Vince.

He sounded weak on other end of the phone. You called to check in knowing they needed all the support right now. He told you that she was in a hospice, making her comfortable and waiting for the inevitable.

"Last time I spoke to him, he said she only had a month left at most" You scrunched up your lips, your feelings whelming up inside.

Carmy sat there. He didn't say anything. You didn't want to tell him after everything he's been through but when it came to Marie passing you didn't want to shock him.

"Shit" He whispered, his head dropped.

You brought your hand over and rubbed his back. You didn't want to deliver the bad news but keeping something like that from him wasn't right either.

You could feel tears pricking up in your eyes and wiped them away quickly. You had no right to cry right now. You wanted to be there for Carmy.

Both of you sat there in silence. You wondered what he was thinking and wanted to not make him feel worse than he probably already did.

"I remember when you first started." You smiled to yourself while the memory ran through your mind.

"You came in so focused on what Vince was telling you. You wouldn't talk to anyone. You get in, do your work, stay late and then go home." You chuckled lightly to yourself.

You remember watching him as he watch Vince guided him. He would hang onto every word Vince said, like his life depended on it. People would crack jokes here and there especially when it was a slow night but Carmy wouldn't even crack a smile. He wasn't there to fuck around.

"I remember that one dick that screamed at me in front of a 12 top after his food was delayed and Vince came out and gave him an earful, 'emeber that?" You reminisced

Carmy sat back up and nodded, half smiling.

"I just remember being in the walk in and you burst in crying." He commented glancing over at you.

"I didn't even notice you were there at first. I was just in shock from getting screamed at in front of everyone"

You remembered looking over and seeing him with a container of sauce, frozen in place and staring at you completely startled. He came over asking what happened and through the sobbing you explained. Carmy gave you some words of reassurance knowing the bastard that screamed at you was just a cruel prick. It was the first time you talked to each other and it was nice to know he wasn't a complete robot.

He remembered seeing you in such distress with your eyes red and swollen. After hearing about what happened, he wanted to go in front and tell the motherfucker to get out of the restaurant. But he knew Vince was handling it. He never spoke much to you, but knew that you were nothing but nice to him and that you didn't deserve to be treated that way. Nobody deserved that.

After that day, Carmy and you would share some words through the shift and then those words turn to conversations which eventually lead to both of you hanging out at work.

"Wanna go back in?" Carmy nodded towards the door.

You both return to normal temperatures where you dethaw from being outside way longer than you should have been.

You made your way back to the office still wearing your jackets feeling the stiffness in your hands from the cold. You leaned over to checked your phone for it to light up, 7:30pm.

"Today flew by" You stretched out feeling the effects of sitting at a desk majority of the day. The cold didn't help either.

"Oh, so you never answered my question" Carmy rubbed his hands together to get some friction heat going.

"Uh... " You thought for a moment and clicked into what he was on about.

After coming to the realization that you were going to be jobless, you sat with the idea of maybe staying that way for awhile. You haven't taken any time off for summer in years. You thought if you didn't do it now that you never have another chance.

Your phone screen light up beside you on the couch, with a number you didn't recognize. You paused the movie and picked it up and hesitated for a moment before answering.

"Hello?"

"Hey, uhh.. it's Carmy" A smile immediately popped up on your face hearing the familiar voice on the other end.

It was a pleasant surprise and totally unexpected for you to hear from him. He explained the situation he was in and that he would really appreciate if you could stay for awhile to help him in any way. You thought to yourself about how it would be nice to visit an old friend. He explained he wouldn't be able to pay you right now but if he would figure something out. Money wasn't the issue. You had a nice little nest egg to fall back on for the unanticipated free summer you were going to have.

He asked if Vince would mind, giving you sometime off to help, even if it was for a couple of days. You avoided the topic and said that you could work something out. You were thankful that he didn't challenge you and accepted the answer.

"Oh staying yeah... well my flight is booked for the end of next week".

You saw a flash of disappoint in his face before he looked down at his hands. You didn't want to look too much into his reaction, but seeing him that way ping something in your chest for a split second.

"But.. if paperwork isn't sorted by then, I can always reschedule my flight" You offered with a smile.

"Yea, yeah of course. I don't wanna take you away from anythin' that you have going back home..." He trails off, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Carmy, I'm literally unemployed right now." You said bluntly glaring at him before breaking into a snicker.

"Anyway let's just wait til' the middle of the week and then I'll decide if I need more time." You explained, breaking into a yawn.

"Heard." Carmy nodded.

"Anyway, it's getting pretty late so I think it's time to close up" He stuffed his hands in this pockets, turning towards the swinging doors.

You started putting away the paperwork you were looking at, leaving the desk in a somewhat tidy state for the morning. Carmy did a round on the kitchen to double check everything was off before making his way back to the office.

It felt like nothing had changed between you two. After years of both you doing your own thing, when it came down to you both chilling, everything was the same. He watched you tidy up and could imagine this being the norm, you working here permanently. He instantly knew that you would slide right into this place. How easy it was for you to read people and get on with them. He also didn't want to have any expectation on you though.

It would be crazy to think just after 2 weeks you would even consider moving to Chicago for a job that wouldn't be paying you for God knows how long. He felt at ease when you were around him. Saying goodbye to that when you leave was going to be hard on him. But he didn't have time to lay on his feelings. There was a million things that still needed to get done in the restaurant. The restaurant that felt like it was going to crumble to the ground any second. He would be the one to witness it. He would be the one with the burden on his shoulders. Not Mikey.

Carmy pulled the door to check it was locked and stuffed the keys in his pocket. You both looked at each other giving a small smile.

"I'll see you tomorrow... Chef" You added taking a step back.

"See ya, Boss" Carmy developed an amused look turning down towards to street.

You rolled your eyes playfully and started walking further down the side walk crossing your arms, trying to keep your jacket as close to you as possible.

Carmy walked home feeling better than usual. Normally, he was always thinking about the next day and want needed to be done. What could make the restaurant more money. But, he caught himself not doing that, instead he was thinking about the evening he just spent with you.

His mind drifted back to the memories of him and you back in New York. Memories that he hasn't thought about it a long time. As much as he hated asking for help, he was glad he reached out to you. He was grateful that you were able to come out.

When he arrived home, he took off his jacket, kicked off his shoes and fell back onto the couch. He flicked through the channels not really paying attention to what he was watching. He felt his eyelids get heavy and within minutes he was asleep. It must have been the first time since moving back from New York that he fell asleep with such ease.

Chapter 3

Masterlist of other fics

#fanfic #fluff #smut #fanfiction #love #carmy berzatto #carmy the bear #the bear #carmy x reader #chicago #angst #carmen berzatto x reader #the bear fx #the bear headcanon #carmen 'carmy' berzatto #carmen berzatto x you #the bear hulu #carmy berzatto fluff #carmen berzatto #carmy berzatto x you #jeremy allen white #fuckin with the Ecosystem

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

Animorphs / Yellowjackets crossover?

• The night of the 25th Reunion of the Claremont High Class of 1998, Marco is waiting on the curb when Cassie’s car pulls up.  He looks the same as anyone else, tonight. Not like a movie star.

He pulls her into a firm hug.  Cassie holds on hard.

And then, shoulder-to-shoulder, the only two real survivors of the 1996 Air Penn disaster push open the doors and walk into their school’s gym.

• They’re not friends, not really.  But tonight they need this.  Marco because of the unsubtle glances of their former classmates, Cassie because of the whispered notes of concern as people watch her walk through.

“Where’s Ronnie tonight?” Marco asks, sotto voce, as they make their way to a table near the back.

“At home with Shelly.”  Cassie pulls out a chair for him, then for herself.  “I know kids are invited, but she didn’t need to be here.  T’Shondra?”

“Same story.”  Marco gives his public smile for a classmate’s husband who’s even now pointing and whispering their way.  “Out with friends.”

Before Cassie can say anything else, they both clock the woman approaching, a copy of Marco’s autobiography in hand.  Marco’s smile widens another inch, edging toward feral, even as he pulls out the pen.

• See, a while back, Marco was in a movie.  He got the role as a press gimmick, but he’d done pretty well with his minor part and there was talk of his getting a recurring role in an upcoming Netflix series.

• A while before that, Marco wrote a book.  The most-quoted review called it “a tell-all that tells none,” which isn’t even wrong.  There are plenty of anecdotes about his life before the plane crash, his life after being rescued 18 months later, and even a few isolated descriptions of their mock-prom and their pretzel-sharing system while out stranded in the mountains.  He cottons to having eaten an entire bottle of Rachel’s foundation when hungry enough, but that’s as scandalous as it gets.

• A while before that, Marco did a speaking tour.  It was half inspirational, half comedy show.  He perfected the art of answering questions without actually answering them.

When asked the worst thing he did to survive: “Breathing in Jake Berenson’s stank eighteen months out from his last shower, hoo boy.”

When asked how Rachel died: “Uh, hello?  There was a plane crash and we all spent a year and a half without real food?  You’re the one who bought tickets to this event, lady, you can’t tell me you didn’t already know that.”

When asked why Cassie claimed Rachel was alive until a few months before rescue: “Dude, I wouldn’t trust anything I said after all the isolation and hunger.  I went full-on Tom-Hanks-talking-to-a-volleyball out there, only my volleyball was a friggin’ rock, and let me tell you on the bad days my rock friend Mr. Balboa started talking back.”

When asked whether he’d left anything out of his book: “The shit bucket.  We do not speak of the shit bucket.”

When asked how David died: “Seriously, you did buy tickets for this event on purpose, right?  You are here to see guy-who-was-in-a-plane-crash voluntarily?  Because if this is, like, a hostage situation, then blink three times...”

• In retrospect, the crash itself would seem so clear.  Practically inevitable, as one Reddit commenter puts it.  It was a crappy charter plane that they’d booked last-minute because the commercial flight had been canceled for weather.  It was overloaded with luggage and equipment from the baseball team on board.  It had one pilot battling a long illness, and one who still held trainee status.  Rumors of a bribe to allow a too-fast inspection were never confirmed, but they were never denied.  Wing, meet downdraft.  Nose, meet mountain.

• For over a year, everyone assumed that was the end of the U.S.’s third-ever coed Little League team.  The news outlets ran beats of the same story: Rachel Berenson showed up to tryouts alongside her cousin, knowing perfectly well this was the boys’ team.  The unusually progressive coach let her at least give pitching a try.  She struck out five batters in a row.  She struck out a hell of a lot of other teams too, throwing a no-hitter that got her team into Playoffs and then giving them a shot at the Little League World Series.

Then the storm.  Then the crash.

The other girls on the team — Cassie, Collette, Kelly and Elena — got mentioned as well.  Sometimes the reporters even remembered there were boys, that Jake was their main slugger and team captain, that Aximili could clean up the bases on a hard hit and steal anything he didn’t bat in.

If you look long, you might even catch one of the broadcasts that remembers the pilots.  If you’re really lucky, you might catch the one segment — just one — that mentions Gafinilan and Mertil without immediately blaming them for their own deaths.

• Melissa was almost on that plane.  Nowadays she’s fond of telling people that: she missed being on that flight by a matter of sheer luck.  The Yellowjackets’ shortstop, she would’ve been traveling with them except she took a hard line-drive to the face less than a week before playoffs.  Concussed, barely able to see out of her left eye, she was forced to miss the rest of the season while Marco took her place.

“I was almost on that plane,” Melissa says, on the stage of their school gym, the night of the 25th Reunion.  She’s looking straight at Marco over the top of the mic stand.  “It was almost me.”

I was almost as famous as you get to be, it sounds a little like she’s saying.

“Never forget what we lost.”  Melissa clicks the remote in her hand and that stupid Goo Goo Dolls song starts playing.  Cassie feels Marco stiffen next to her as the first image of Rachel fills the projector’s 40-foot screen.

• Back then, Tobias shouldn’t have been on that plane at all.  He was just the coach’s son, just the pitcher’s nephew, just the batboy.  Not a Yellowjacket.  And yet.

• Back then, when Rachel swam awake in the first seconds after the crash, her whole body aching, Jake was crouched directly in front of her.  “Move!” he shouted in her face.  “Rachel, we have to move!”

She widened her eyes, trying to clear her vision.  Jake was filthy with ash and blood, blooming with red marks that would soon be bruises, and even over the ache of her whiplashed neck she couldn’t ignore the sharp pain of the seatbelt-jerk bruise across both hips.

“The plane” Jake shouted “is on fire—”

And that got her on her feet.

They moved so fast that the world would’ve blurred even without her battered brain: Cassie was the first person they ripped from a seat, then David.  Collette was bent up all wrong, body folded around the seatbelt in a way that made her scream breathless as Rachel dragged her loose.  They got Marco under both arms and heaved him out into the snow.  Jake got as far as grabbing Kelly, and then he jerked his hand back from cold bloodless flesh.  No time for discussion, with smoke thickening the air; they moved to Elena and shoved her out as well.

Tobias was the hardest of all, crouched over his father.  Coach Alan was upright in his seat, but he wasn’t breathing to disturb the smoke and didn’t react when Jake jabbed him hard in the eye.  Both arms around Tobias, Rachel dragged backward, holding him against her body until she was able to tip him onto the emergency slide.  She turned back to the nose of the plane.

Jake met her coming the other way.  He shook his head, pointing for the exit.

“Timmy!” she shouted, coughing.  “Craig and, and—”  Their basemen were all still up there, hidden in the opaque smoke.  She tried to shove past Jake, but he blocked the aisle.

“We have to go!”  He had to shout too, in order to be heard over the roar of the fire.

“Craig!” she screamed, fighting Jake, but he was shoving her backward.  “Liam!”

And then they were falling, down the slide, tumbling in a heap into the snow below.

Rachel punched Jake in the face.  The fuselage exploded.

• Then, the headcount over the next few hours contained more bad news than good.  Jake’s older brother, their third-base coach, was dead.  So was Tobias’s dad.  So was their chaperone Mr. Hamee.  Timmy, first base; Liam, second; Craig, third; Jesse, reserve.  All had been sitting together near the front.

No sign of the emergency beacon.  Collette, Pedro, and Elena all injured.  Enough bags of trail mix and pretzels to get them through maybe four more days out here.

It would’ve been five, but David was bouncing around the wreckage talking a mile a minute and pouring peanuts into his face.  "Do you guys see this shit?" he was shouting. "Like a movie! Like an action movie! It’s wild!"

“I think the bleeding has stopped,” James said quietly, where he and Cassie were bent over Elena.  There wasn’t blood anymore, but it’d been coming out of Elena’s ear.  There was no way that was good.

“We’re fucked.”  Marco said it first, staring at the burst-open fuselage.  “We’re totally fucking fucked.”

“They’ll find us.”  Jake spoke even louder than David.  “There’s a search party going as soon as any plane goes off radar, and...”  He pointed to the huge swath of downed trees the plane had destroyed in its last seconds of life.  “We’ll be easy enough to spot.”

Tobias had been sitting on the ground, staring into space, but at that he lifted his head.  “How far were we blown off course?” he asked.  “Do we have any guarantee they’re even looking in the right place?”

There was a long silence from everyone, even the injured and panicking kids.  Rachel broke it when she jerked the trail mix bag out of David’s hand, which was the second time in their first day that a conflict came to blows.

• Now, Marco drives through the night, after he leaves the reunion.  He didn’t have a drop of alcohol — paying for Tobias’s third and fourth trips through rehab turned him off the stuff — and his relationship with sleep has been somewhere between on the rocks and it’s complicated for the last two decades.  He keeps to the speed limit, making three left turns to be sure no paparazzi are following, and he keeps his eyes on the road.  Once he catches himself humming “Iris” under his breath, and in response cranks the car’s XM metal station to eardrum-damaging levels.

• Now, the sun’s coming up by the time Marco makes it to Seattle.  He checks his hair twice in the rearview mirror, smoothing it back and then ruffling it into an attempt at nonchalance.  The shop’s exactly where he remembers it being, the last six times he drove up here and lurked across the street without ever going in.

This time, he gets out of the car.

“Welcome to Wash World, how can I...”

The guy behind the counter trails off.  He’s a big man, full beard and long hair sprinkled with gray.  In the flannel shirt and fleece-lined jeans, he looks like a typical Seattle hipster.  Even the California accent fits.

“Hi Jake,” Marco says.  It feels like an understatement, all things considered.  It’s been fifteen years since he last spoke to his ex.

“You a customer?”  A small woman in a brightly-colored headscarf appears at Jake’s elbow before he can say anything.

“If you’re not a customer, you have no business here.”  A different woman, albeit with the same Eastern European accent, has emerged from behind Marco.  She crowds close to Marco, backing him away from Jake.

“Our Yakob has no business with anyone and you can have your shirts pressed or you can leave.”  The third of the Eumenides has gone so far as to pull the front door open and gesture.

Marco holds up both hands in surrender.  Cassie told him to call ahead, and apparently she wasn't kidding.

“Ms. Zivojinovic,” Jake says, to one of them.  Possibly to all three.  “There’s no harm.  He’s my brother.”

Marco’s eyebrows go up at that, but sure.  He won’t argue.  It’s simpler than the truth, and more likely to go down easy with this group.

The one closest to the door sniffs loudly.  “If he’s not a customer, I don’t care if he’s Jimmy Hoffa found at last.  He can —”

“I prefer to think of myself as Amelia Earhart.” Marco shrugs out of his 5000-dollar leather coat, dropping it on the counter.  “There, dry clean that.”

“It’ll take three to five business days,” the woman behind the counter says.  “You going to stick around for three to five business days? Or are you some fly-by-night, ne’er-do-well, love-and-leave...”

“He’s my brother,” Jake protests, louder.

“I have a brother,” the one by the door mutters.  “You have never met him, Yakob, and do you know why?”

Jake sighs.  “He is garbage?”

“He is garbage!  Would you like a receipt?”

Marco takes a second to recover from the abrupt turnaround.  “Yeah, I want a receipt.  How would I get my coat back without one?”

“If it comes to that,” one of the Misses Zivojinovic says ominously, “we will find you.”

• Jake extracts himself from the Eyrenies at last, promising to be back within the hour.  “Come on,” he says to Marco.  “There’s a café a few doors down.”

Marco follows until they’re just outside the plate-glass window, and then he stops.  “Good to see you, bro.”  He waggles his eyebrows at their reflections.

Turning, Jake follows the direction of Marco’s gaze.  He doesn’t laugh, but he does an almost-smile.  It’s obvious why Marco’s amused: Jake’s stopped growing at six-foot-three, two-fifty pounds.  Between that and the beard, they’ve never resembled each other less.  “I’m sorry,” Jake says.  “It was just...”

Marco flaps a hand in the air, dismissing this.  “Like I’ve never told someone you’re my cousin or team captain or very good friend.”  He doesn’t have a dead brother, so he’d never dare to pull out the line Jake just used, but he gets it.

It’s too cold to linger on the sidewalk without a coat.  Jake pulls open the door to the café, ushering them both inside.  Marco pays for their coffees and Jake lets him, because neither of them talked about it when it was Jake paying for Marco’s arcade passes and cheeseburgers.

“So the beard.”  Marco gestures, tilting the rim of his mocha latte.  “That’s different.  I had wondered how you’d managed to avoid notice all this time.”

Looking down, Jake fiddles with his paper cup of hot chocolate.  “I don’t own a phone or computer.  It’s as simple as that.”

“Oh, I’m sure and the Kindly Ones using the bodies of nosy journalists to compost their garden have nothing to do with it.”

Jake shrugs.  “They’re good people.  And they don’t watch the news.”

“Yeah,” Marco says.  “Speaking of which.”

All at once, Jake’s whole body goes still.  It’s the kind of tension, readiness for violence or flight, that Marco hasn’t seen since the last time he watched Jake drive a knife through the chest of a struggling rabbit.  “Something came out,” he says.

Marco shakes his head.  “Nothing like that.  Not yet, anyway.”  Lifting his butt halfway off the chair, he fishes out the scrap of paper Cassie gave him last night.

I know what you did.  I won’t keep silent unless you make me.  That’s all there is to the note, other than the rough symbol scrawled underneath.  It looks like an odd little insect: six limbs on an elongated torso, two extra eyes on stalks, a scorpion-like tail.

• Back then, Tobias was the first one to find the symbol carved into a tree trunk.  “Look,” he’d said, voice rising in excitement as he pointed up at it.  “Guys, look.”

“What is it?”  Rachel squinted at the symbol.  “Some kind of alien centaur-thing?”

“Who cares what it is?”  Tobias spun in a circle, looking for more marks.  “It wasn’t carved by a moose, I can tell you that much.  It’s a trail marking, or a property boundary.”

“People,” Rachel breathed.

“Exactly.”

They’d set off crashing through the woods before Jake could point out what a bad idea it was.  “Hello!” Tobias had been yelling, when they’d disappeared from sight.  “Hello, whoever you are!”

• Then, Cassie had watched them go, had watched Jake go chasing after.  It was probably safe enough, as long as they realized they could follow their own tracks back through the mud and slush.  Instead she went back to what she’d been doing: tearing their spare jerseys into strips to make bandages.  There were a lot of wounded, and not a lot of clean cloths.

Rachel and Jake and Tobias weren’t back when the sun started to go down, and she did her best not to worry.

“We should eat something, right?”  That was James, standing on a fallen tree to address them all.  “We should each have a small snack.”

That was one of the first moments when they looked around, hoping for an adult or at least someone with some kind of seniority.  One of the first moments they realized just how on their own they were.

“Yeah.”  Cassie spoke up then.  “We should.”

James became the one to divvy up the little bags, that first time, with Marco following as an informal enforcer.  (“Two hundred calories per bag of pretzels,” Marco said, “and we can get by on seven hundred a day.  We get a pretzel bag or half a trail mix apiece for three meals, and that’ll last us for five days’ worth of food.”)

“Hey,” Cassie said, sitting next to Ax.  She’d seen him peering close at the back of the bag of trail mix he’d been handed, frowning at the ingredient list for the chocolate candies. “You’re vegan, right?”  His family were religious, even if Tobias tended to eat meat.

He shrugged.  “It’s not worth insisting on right now.”

Gently, Cassie took the trail mix out of his hands and handed him her pretzels instead.  “It can still matter,” she said.  “For now.  We’re not giving ourselves up yet.”

Ax had smiled weakly at her, and selected a pretzel.  “I hope you’re right.”

“I’m not giving myself up.”  She leaned back against the log, chewing slow to make the M&Ms last.  “We’ll get through this.  Even if we have to walk back home.”

There was no answer.  Ax was looking at the plane, at the place where his brother’s body was unlikely now ever to be recovered.

“Ax...” Cassie said, feeling like a fool.

“Even if we have to walk.”  Ax bit down hard on a pretzel.  “We will survive.”

• Then, Tobias had come crashing back later that night, still glowing with good news, to announce the hunter’s cabin he’d found.  “There’s a dead guy in the attic,” Rachel had said, as if no big deal, “but I doubt he’s using the place anymore.”

That first night in the cabin, Jake had gone up to the attic alone.  It smelled rancid, it had that horrible desiccated corpse watching from the corner, but it was the only place that had privacy away from the cold.

Marco followed, because it was what Marco did; he couldn’t help it.

“I got you, man.”  Marco had wrapped firm arms around Jake, had held him too tight.  “I got you.”

Jake had crumpled then, but only as far as his knees.  Only as far as burying his face in the juncture between Marco’s shoulder and his neck, their skin wet everywhere it intersected.  Disgusting, beautiful, whatever.

• Now, Jake agrees to pack a bag and go with Marco for the next few days, even though the Weird Sisters are clearly displeased that he’s conceding to someone who knows about his past.  He mumbles a greeting as they pick up Tobias outside a motel that’s really more of a flophouse, and keeps his hands in his pockets as they walk up the front steps to Cassie’s beautifully decorated front parlor.

• Now... “Hi,” Ronnie says to the others, in the kind of voice people use when they’re trying hard to sound casual.  “I’m Cassie’s husband.”

It’s pretty clear Tobias has been sleeping rough; he mostly stands in the corner staring at Ronnie.  Between his dad dying in the crash, what later happened to Rachel, and Ax’s disappearance, they all tend to agree that he has every right to be even more messed up than the rest of them.

More messed up is saying something — Marco knows why Jake kept the long sleeves on in the San Diego heat, he had Cassie calling him at 4AM last week claiming there were wolves in her backyard — but Tobias can’t help it.  They know.  It’s why Marco keeps paying for his rehab stints, why Cassie keeps offering her couch for him to sleep on.

“Jake.”  Jake becomes the one to shake hands.  “Thank you for having us.”

“So this... note.”  Cassie gestures to the scrap on the table.  “It could be nothing.”

“It could be Ax.”  Tobias, of course.  He has a tendency to ascribe everything from robocalls to weather patterns to Ax.

“Your relief pitcher?” Ronnie asks.

“Our friend,” Jake says, but there’s no sting to it.  “We haven’t seen him since...”

• Then, it’d been six weeks since the plane crashed.  Six lonely, cold, hungry weeks.  Marco was walking on eggshells around David, Collette around Rachel.  They’d eaten the last rabbit Tobias had shot, down to the skin, down to the marrow.  Ax, of all people, had quietly suggested taking apart the taxidermied deer head on the wall to boil the skin off that as well.

Jake had floated the idea of doing their own take on Prom because... because the date would soon be right.  Because they all had their formal outfits for the banquet anyway.  Because it was something to do.  Because they all needed a pick-up, with winter coming on.  Because they were about to be out of food, again.

Rachel had seized the idea with both hands, of course.  She’d gone wild with her makeup kit and the tatters of everyone’s formalwear, tying Jake’s tie and then — laughing at them, much-needed laughter — Marco’s and Ax’s and Tobias’s as well.  Cassie was in jeans because she’d already sacrificed her gown to make bandages, but she looked more comfortable that way.  Collette’s dye job was grown out several inches (she continued to insist she was a natural blond) but Rachel braided it so that the brown and gold wove together into a pattern.

They’d been beautiful.

• Beautiful or not, once they reached the torchlit clearing they’d stood around in silence for so long that Rachel was about to call the whole thing off.

It was James of all people who’d cleared his throat and started singing: “And I’d give up forever to touch you, ‘cause I know that you feel me somehow...”

“You’re the closest to heaven that I’ll ever be,” Jake sang along with him, Rachel taking up the melody a second later, and by the time they were at the chorus, there were six or seven voices in the clearing.

“What?” James said, when he finished and everyone was staring at him.  “I’m only a badass thrash-punk six and a half days a week.”

That got another laugh, so very needed, from the clearing.  Pedro made a circling motion in the air, and James turned to look at him.

“Another?” James asked, flushing but looking pleased, and Pedro made a humming noise of agreement.

“Baby’s black balloon makes her fly,” James sang, game enough, “Almost fell into that hole in your life, and you’re not thinking ‘bout tomorrow ‘cause you were the same as me...”

Tobias held out his hand for Rachel, smooth as you please, and they became the first couple twirling across the clearing in each other’s arms, both still singing along.  But James had pulled Collette into his arms, he and Elena together holding her up.

And then Marco seized Jake’s hand.  Jake jerked back automatically, but Marco thrust up his chin and stared hard challenge into his eyes.  The kind of look Jake could never back down from, and Marco knew it.

Jake was a terrible dancer, but that was all right; Marco was a good lead.  And if anyone stared, if anyone whispered, then they were looking too hard at each other to know about it.

They’d all felt a little strange, floaty-headed and bobble-eyed.  James’s words slurred a little, and none of them were quite balanced.  But they were hungry.  That had to be it.

Time got vague.  Half of them could hear the music, even after James stopped singing.

• Then, there was a scream echoing through the clearing. Instantly Jake had a branch in hand, Ax producing the hunting knife. 

It was Rachel who emerged into the clearing, dragging David behind her by a fistful of his hair.  She threw him to the ground in the middle of their circle, driving a kick into his side.

“Tell them!” she shouted.  “Tell them what you just said to me!”

“Jake.”  David rolled to his knees, arms over his head.  “Jake, help me, she’s losing it!”

“Okay.”  Jake kept his voice level.  Anyone else, and he might’ve believed Rachel really had snapped from the stress.  But out here David had revealed a side of himself that scared Jake almost as much as the snow and the hunger.  He’d started talking about no rules ten minutes after the crash, and hadn’t stopped since.  “Why don’t you just tell me what happened.  Rachel first, then David.”

“He was talking big.”  Rachel spat.  “Trying to impress me.  And then he said...”  She leaned close to David, snarling.  “Tell them.  Go ahead.  Tell them.”

“David?”

“I didn’t, I didn’t, I was just, I was lying, okay?”  He hadn’t dropped his arms.  “I was just making it up, it was just a joke.”

“What did he say,” Jake said.

“He found the plane’s emergency beacon.”  Rachel’s fists shook, but her voice was steady.  “The first day.  He found it — and he smashed it with a rock.”

Jake felt his whole body go cold.  He’d been expecting something sexual, something pressuring and gross, but... but this...

A body slammed Jake on its way past.  Marco, screaming, wild with rage.  He’d taken off running at David, who’d dragged himself to his feet and sprinted into the woods.  Rachel was half a step behind Marco, and Tobias keeping up with Rachel.  No sign of James, or of Pedro, but there were more bodies out rushing through the trees after David.  David was crashing away, and then he was screaming, and then he wasn’t.

Wait, Jake considered saying.  Stop.  Only he didn’t.  He and Collette looked at each other, and they listened to what was happening in the clearing on the other side of the ridge.

• Now, Cassie pours them all coffees, examining each of their faces.  Marco’s unreadable under the makeup and big hair.  Jake looks healthier than she thought possible: full-faced, broad-bellied, laugh lines starting around his eyes.  Tobias is loose-skinned and skitter-eyed, but at least the track marks she can see all look old.  What do they think of her, she wonders, with broad hips and grey in her braids.

“Ronnie,” she says quietly.

He pushes to his feet.  “I’ll give you the room.  Nice to meet you all.”

This is a reason she loves him: that he understands there are things he’ll never understand.  That there are things she can only talk about with her boys, her fellow survivors.  Like how, her first hot shower after getting rescued, she orgasmed so hard it felt like a panic attack.  Like how she can’t stand the sight of supermarket meat, fragments of body parts sealed in plastic, but she’ll butcher and cook any livestock who die under her care.

But then, there are things the two white boys and the Latino movie star standing in her kitchen will never understand either.  Things only Ronnie can appreciate.

So Cassie’s been complete.  She’s been good, all things considered.

And now this.  One damn thing after another.

• Now, Tobias doesn’t care what they think about him when he says again, “It could be Ax.”

“Ax has been in a funny farm in Germany since I don’t know when,” Marco says.

“Switzerland,” Jake says, at the same time Cassie murmurs, “That’s rude.”

Marco rolls his eyes, smudged day-old eyeliner exaggerating the motion.  “Fine, Mom and Dad, he’s in a mental health facility in Switzerland.”

“Why would Ax blackmail us?” Jake asks, more pragmatically.

Tobias doesn’t have an answer for that one.  He looks away, out the window at Cassie’s sprawling backyard.  Seems like they only went two ways after rescue: soaring to success in politics (Cassie) and media (Marco), or going to ground.  Tobias self-medicates; Ax pays other people to medicate him.  Ax’s way probably works better, but Tobias’s is faster.

• Then, Jake had hiked back out to the site of the plane crash six months after it went down.  In case some remains of the signal beacon were there.  In case there was a bag of pretzels, a single solitary gummy bear, that they had missed.  In case...

Coach Alan’s body was the one he saw first.  Coach Alan’s skeleton, rather.  The flesh had been cut away in gouts and chunks, pulled loose from the limbs and torso to expose lengths of rib and femur.

Jake staggered back, hand coming to his mouth.  Craig’s body beyond looked intact, but.  He couldn’t— he couldn’t— Tom—

There was a crunch from outside, and Jake spun around, hot bile in his throat.

“Hi.”  James stepped into the fuselage through its torn-off front end, expression carefully neutral.  “I figured this conversation was coming sooner or later.”

“You.”  Jake looked from the stripped body — Ax’s brother, Tobias’s dad — to James.  “You...”

“I chose to keep my friends alive.”  James shoved his hands in his pockets.  “Just like Rachel did.”

“Don’t say that!” Jake snapped.  “David might’ve doomed us all, and Rachel didn’t have a choice.”

“We had a choice about eating him,” James said levelly.  “And we chose right, didn’t we.”

Jake shook his head, shook it again.  None of them had been in their right minds that night — something in the soup, something in the air.  That was a mistake, and it wouldn’t happen again.

“Jake.”  James took a step toward Jake.  “We have to talk about this.  I know you’re hoping for rescue, and so am I.  But we have to make it that far, first.”

“We?” Jake said coldly.  “Where’s all this...”  Again he pointed at Coach Alan.  “Been going, James?  Because if any of it has made the communal soup pot, most of us haven’t seen it.”

“You’re right.”  James shrugged.  “I’ve been coming here, harvesting, and giving it to my friends.  Your little clique seemed fine with getting first crack at every rabbit Tobias brings back.”

Jake was shaking his head harder, ears ringing.  “We have to live with ourselves.  We have to act like human beings.  Not— not sharks eating their own.  If nothing else, we have to all be together on this.”

“I’m keeping my friends alive,” James said.  He took another step toward Jake.  The hunting knife was on his belt.  “I’m doing what it takes.”

Jake didn’t move.  “Listen to me!” he shouted.  “Listen to me, we are not doing this.  Or at minimum, we’re putting it to a vote, and we’re discussing it as a team.”

“Thanks, captain,” James said.  “But no thanks.”

Jake shoved him hard in the chest.  James stumbled, taking a step back.  “We keep everyone alive,” Jake snapped.  “We act for the good of everyone.  You want to lead?  Fine, lead.  But just because you’re hungry, that doesn’t mean you get to be selfish.  Call for a vote about what we do while we wait.”

“Hungry?”  The contempt was stronger now, twisting the corner of James’s mouth.  “Of course I’m hungry, you fool.”  He planted both hands on Jake’s chest, not shoving back, just applying pressure.

“So are they.  A vote—”

“Let’s just acknowledge the elephant in the room here, Jake.”  James dropped his hands.  “The good of everyone is going to end with all my friends dead, well before yours kick it.”

Jake opened his mouth.  “That’s not—”

“Pedro’s my roommate.  Collette’s my best friend, and Elena’s with her.  I was...”  James pointed to the seat to his left.  “Sitting there.  Pedro next to me, Collette and Kelly across the way.  I’m supposed to be in the same boat as them.  And you know what they all have in common?”

Of course Jake knew.  Collette was paralyzed, Elena couldn’t see.  They weren’t sure how the hit on the head had affected Pedro, partially because he was having trouble talking enough to explain his symptoms to them.

“If it comes to a vote, to waiting for rescue, they lose,” James said.  “If we’re going to be all equal and civilized, then...”  He shrugged.  “My money’s on Cassie to be the last to starve.  That catcher’s bulk has served her well so far.  But maybe it’ll be Marco, since he’s smaller and needs less.  Heck, Tobias could probably provide for himself forever if he was only catching squirrels for one.”

Jake shook his head, shook it again.  “That’s not...”

“You’re trying to save your friends,” James said.  “I’m trying to save mine.”

• Now, Tobias leans against Cassie’s island.  “Guys,” he says, “there’s something you should know about Ax.”

He’s back stateside.  He reached out to Tobias a few weeks ago.  Something about a compound where a lot of people like them — damaged, not quite right — are gathering to support each other.  Ax has been talking to it, he said in that call, and wouldn’t say how.

“He said he can help us settle,” Tobias tells the group.  “He said he knows what it wants, and—”

“It.”  Marco’s whole face twists with the force of his sneer.  “It.  What, the fucking mountain?  Last I checked, we left that out in the Canadian Rockies where we found it.”

“Not the mountain,” Cassie says.  “You know that’s not what he meant.”

“Fine!”  Marco throws up both hands, drops them to his sides.  “Then it doesn’t exist.  The One is a fucknugget, just on the off chance it does.”

“Don’t think anyone said it wasn’t a fucknugget,” Jake says.  “But might still be worth to find out what it wants.”

• Then, Ax had known what Jake hadn’t said, what Jake had found — and not found — out at the airplane.

“The wilderness provides,” Ax said, because it was the only way to make sense of it all.  “The mountain has taken so much, and there’s nothing saying it won’t give something back occasionally.”

Jake stared in stunned silence, the small bundle of desiccated flesh limp in his arms.  Like a man who’d braced so hard for impact he had no choice but to fall when the impact didn’t come.

“Okay,” James said.  “Okay.  I’ll get some water boiling.”

• Then, it’d lasted another eight months.  What they’d taken from the airplane.  What they’d taken from David.  Tobias brought back a squirrel a week, sometimes two, sometimes even a pair of rabbits.  But two rabbits among ten people stretched to less soup than would fill an eight-ounce coffee cup, and squirrels stretched less than that.

• Then, at first thaw, Marco had been the one to suggest they hike for it.  A smaller team, a dash down the mountain and straight east as far as they could go.  East because it was easier to keep track of, with the sun rising nearly dead-on that way now that spring had come.  East, because they had to go some way.  East.  Until they found help, or until they couldn’t go further.

• Ax and Tobias made the first attempt.  Two weeks they’d been gone.  And they’d made it back to the cabin, eventually.  Barely.  They’d been limping, injured, so exhausted and hungry that their steps were a staggering line even as Tobias half-carried Ax to join the others.

“Fuck this,” Rachel had said, around the fire that night.  “Seriously, fuck this.  We’re not getting rescued, we don’t have the strength to walk out, and we don’t have anymore fresh meat.  We’re all slowly starving to death.”

“So what do you suggest?” Jake said, weary and hoarse.  “We sent Tobias because he can hunt, and Ax because...”

Because Ax knew more than anyone wanted to admit it was possible to know, about the whims of the thing keeping them here.

“You know.”  Rachel looked at Jake, fist clenched around the knife, teeth bared.  “You know.”

“We’re all still okay,” Jake said.  “We’re still—”

“We’re skin and bones,” she snapped.  “Our fucking teeth are falling out, Jake, and our nails are coming off.  James is dying.  Collette will probably go next.  We need to act, now, or—”

“No.”  Jake pushed to his feet, which took effort.  His knees hadn’t worked right in weeks.  “No.  We’re not discussing this.”

“Damn right we’re not.”  Rachel was on her feet as well, and she had Tobias’s gun in her hand.  Now everyone was standing, all shouting, Ax trying to pry the rifle away and Marco grabbing at Rachel’s arm.  She wrenched loose of them all, and raised the gun before anyone could react.

“We are not,” Jake shouted, “drawing lots!”

“Agreed.” And then Rachel swung the gun around, and she’d hooked the toe of her shoe through the trigger guard.

There was a gunshot.  So loud, that none of them heard her hit the ground.

• Cassie was the first to react.

Ax was crying, Collette too.  Marco was gagging like he’d throw up if he’d eaten anything at all this week.  But Cassie didn’t hesitate, grabbing the knife where Rachel had dropped it on the ground.

“We do not waste this sacrifice.”  She spoke loud, over everyone’s ringing ears.  She was crying too, but her teeth were bared.  “We do not.  Now, all of you, help me.”

• Then, they’d split up a second time.  James’s prediction was coming true: Cassie and Jake, Tobias and Marco and Ax, were the strongest ones left.  Cassie and Jake for their fat reserves before the crash, Marco for his small stature and slow metabolism, Ax and Tobias because they knew the most about survival.  They were the natural team to go down and east, down and east until they couldn’t anymore.

But Cassie stayed.  To cook, to be medic as much as she could.  To get the last of Rachel’s marrow where it could do some good.  Jake begged her to come, but Cassie had stayed with James and the wounded ones.

• Then, they’d walked, the four boys, for another month.  The tips of their toes had gone black, later to be amputated, as had the littlest fingers of both Jake’s hands.  Tobias had shot until he ran out of shot, had brought back a decaying fox that writhed with maggots and had boiled the maggots into a nasty stew because the fox itself wasn’t safe to eat.  Marco cried with hunger, and cried again with joy when Ax had come across the batch of fiddleheads.  He didn’t care who saw.

Ax cut himself, every night when they stopped.  He let blood he couldn’t afford to lose, and at some point Jake stopped trying to get him to stop.

Tobias settled for thanking the rabbits, the birds, the fox and even the maggots.  He thanked the fiddleheads and dandelions, when those were what they could find.

He thanked Rachel.

• It’d happened anticlimactically: the forest ended.  First on a clear-cut, then on a logging road, then on a suburban backyard.

“Who the fuck are you,” said the homeowner, when they stumbled and shuffled up to his back porch.  “And what the fuck do you want.”

He had a pistol on his belt, the kind that people who didn’t know shit about guns bought just to have.  He wasn’t shy about pushing his coat back to show it, but then there was the rifle slung back over Tobias’s shoulder.

“We don’t mean any harm, sir,” Jake rasped.  “We were in a plane cr—”

“Get the fuck off my lawn.”

Holding up their hands, they went.  Behind them, the guy made no secret about dialing 911 and loudly starting a conversation with the cops.

Good, Jake thought.  That was what they needed, anyway.

• Now, they drive, Cassie at the wheel this time because no one trusts Tobias and Jake claims not to have a license.  Tobias has the pair of coordinates from the text he received, and Cassie’s GPS app is wiling to take latitude and longitude as input.  Marco sleeps at last, but only because Jake is there.  (“Hold me,” he muttered, so soft the others can’t hear.  “I don’t know what’ll happen.”) Jake does as he’s told, and so nothing much does happen.

• Cassie finds the place easy enough, because although it doesn’t have an address as such, it does have a road.  Maybe Ax is up there, she thinks, looking at the gate.  Maybe it is.  Maybe just a bunch of hippies with soola root and too much spare time.  Maybe something a hell of a lot weirder.

“We doing this?”  It’s Jake, coming around the side of the car, hands stuffed in his coat pockets.

“I’m not right,” Cassie says bluntly.  “You’re not either.  But maybe we can figure it out, if we... I don’t know, if we listen carefully enough.”

“I’m sorry,” Jake says.

“About?”  But she knows, and that’s why her tone is sharp even though she doesn’t mean it to be.

“That week.”

Cassie looks away.  She knows what week; they’ve had this conversation before.  “Let’s go, okay?”

• Then, it took a week — seven full days and nights — for the search party to find the cabin.  Jake had described its location the best he could, and Tobias even drew a rough map, but it wasn’t enough to narrow down an entire mountain range all that quickly.  One entire week, to find the other half of their party.  This, after over a month of walking to get out.

Collette was dead, by the time they got there.  James was dead, Pedro, Elena.  Only Cassie left.  She’d kept them going as long as she could, had stretched the meat and had resorted to boiling bark, boiling grass.  Boiling Collette, when it came to that.

It wasn’t enough.  She wasn’t enough.

Cassie didn’t talk about those weeks that she’d waited, or about what happened to the others.  She didn’t talk much at all, those first months back.  But of the survivors, she was also the only one to finish a college degree.  To get into vet tech work full-time, animal welfare activism on the side.

• Now, Cassie puts both hands on the right gate, and Jake on the left.  Her boots slip in the mud as she struggles for purchase, but Tobias is there shoving next to her.  Marco gets a shoulder next to Jake’s end, and together they force the door.

The plan was to load back into her car and go up the hill, but there’s a figure standing on the other side, backlit by the sun.  Ax.  Or someone who looks like Ax.  Or something who looks like him.

“You have done well, to come this far.”

#animorphs #yellowjackets #animorphs fic #long post #crossover #animorphs au #yellowjackets au #very long post #cannibalism #gore #character death #self harm #body horror #it's animorphs AND yellowjackets y'all #it gets grody #seriously long post #even by my standards #i recommend switching on auto readmores if you follow me

[night-market-if]

If Penn is the most powerful RO then couldn’t they break that pesky little spell that’s keeping our sweetie Hazel from remembering us?

You will be able to talk to Pen about that. But, there are some rules that Pen has to adhere by. Can't make it too easy of a fix.

#the night market #hazel albright #merripen #book 2 #interactive fiction

[tnc-n3cl]

More Rito Headcanons!

Something of an expansion of my "Rito Biology 101" post, but I'm not going to bother with the in-universe POV and talking about a couple different things here so...

Here's the original. Now that TotK is out, we got some new info so I'm going to go over things. (Namely a new Tribe for Penn and some thoughts on the aged up kiddos.) There my be some minor spoilers in the images, so I'm going to put them below the read more line.

Minor edit: 7/30/23, realized that one of the new NPC's mentioned something I forgot to talk about!

New Rito Guy! Penn is a reporter who you team up with for a few sidequests. Clearly he's some kind of pelican, so a quick search on Wikipedia and... Pelca Tribe (from Pelecanus the genus that contains all living pelicans)

So a couple things here. One: the triangles on his little sash reminds me of Kass' scarf. (What did you do to Kass Nintendo?!) Two: his outfit appears to be made of some kind of blue leather. I'm assuming that all Rito wear leather armor basically (except Saki and the little ones). Interestingly, I had drawn an axe that had talon grip handles in the axe head that are sometimes made out of leather sourced from blue monster hides. Doubt that's the case here since he's not a warrior but still...

His catchphrase... You can see they did the little hook on his beak! Is that yellow on his chest part of his clothes? Hm...

Including this because, A: this is quite possibly my favorite quote from him and B: you can see he has webbed feets! (Still say they should have given the Rito four toes but whatever...)

Look at his tiny pen and notebook! (The dangles on his hood are shaped like pens!)

Okay, that's enough Penn for now... In other news, new color morphs just dropped ya'll!

So the first guy looks like he might be a shade or two lighter than Huck, but the second guy is a new color altogether. We gots purple Orni Tribe Ritos now! Really don't have much to say about these two, but more variety is nice.

EDIT: Actually I do have something to say about Ornest. He mentions that all Rito have the ability to manipulate the wind, something I was theorizing to be the case. So, headcanon confirmed!

Moving on to the kiddos!

Kotts! Again her headband makes me think of her father's scarf and I miss him so much!

Here's BotW Kotts for comparison. As you can see, the white on her face is starting to fade, and she's lost her "bangs", and her head is starting to be more bird shaped. Rough estimation is that TotK is around 5 years after BotW and I'm assuming that she's 5 during BotW so that would make her 10 in TotK. (I'm going with Rito living around 80 years on average BTW).

She's almost as tall as Link! Also that dialog speaks to me on like, a molecular level. (She gets up at 10AM BTW) Also note her Saki-like clothing.

BotW Molli

TotK Molli

I, uh, don't think she grew at all...

She wants to make cool arrows so her dad will use them with his bows... (Why's there no emoji/emoticon button?! I need a big eyed sad face here!)

Speaking of her dad... Here enjoy this totally unrelated to anything I'm talking about shot of Harth actually standing! He gets to do stuff in this game guys! (Can you believe I almost forgot he existed when I went from BotW to Age of Calamity? How could I forget this unique bird?!)

Last but not least, Bird Son himself...

Tulin!!!! Look at this adorable little guy! LOOK AT HIM!!!!

I like to think he admires the hell out of Link and so he's mimicking Link's pose as much as he can. Speaking of which... Get that guy a cowboy outfit and a giant belt buckle!

Look at him some more!

So I don't know if that's eyeliner or just natural markings but he's doing his mom's thing and I can't even you guys!

I am SO normal about these birds...

*regains composure*

Okay, so what have we learned from this? Rito start off with blue sclera (the whites of the eye) when they're little. Around 10 or so the sclera becomes white and the irises are blue. Given that neither Kass nor Amali have blue eyes, I'm going to assume at some point their daughters will develop yellow eyes like them. Tulin... Let's just say his eyes stay blue.

Fluffy white baby feathers on the face slowly fade over the years until they their faces are solid colors (Orni Tribe at least). Tulin's little bun, is this like his mom's "hair" or more like his dad's floof? His he tying it back? You can make out something around the base of it in that second image of him so I think so... What if he ends up with a braid like the Ancient Wind Sage? (Why couldn't you just name them Nintendo? You could have just used the Divine Beasts' names and it would have been fine!)

None of the kids have proper tail feathers yet, so I hesitate to call them juveniles... Give them a few more years and they'll probably start growing them.

I like Penn, and pelican/waterfowl Rito fit in with ideas I was having for my fanfic so... Just gotta find a way to fit him in...

I made it so that different Rito settlements have different symbols. Normally these would be found on the cloth around their waist. However, Penn has this unique symbol on his chestpiece... Granted there's some similar symbols around the village but...

#rito #botw #totk #loz au #headcanons #therealmwalker #long post #totk spoilers #minor spoilers #rambles #tnc-n3cl rambles #thinking out loud #rito headcanons #kotts #molli #tulin #saki #penn #harth

[go-foxes]

Location: Abby’s Date: Sunday, August 8th Time: Team Cookout (open)  

When she signed her contract with the Lions, she thought that was it. Five years in Pennsylvania, five years on a winning team, a direct line from the stroke of her pen on that page to the professional draft, to the rest of her life.

That summer, the one between her senior year of high school and her first year as a Lion, was one of giddy anticipation. Her father felt like her coach, still, her partner on the court, working her hard in preparation for the jump from high school to Class I—from high school to the Big Three. 

Nothing’s felt like that since. The summer after her freshman year was filled with dread, dread that she tried to hide from her father—as she also tried to ignore the clips from Zia’s interview when she signed with the Foxes, the way everyone was talking and speculating, and not just about Zia but about her. And while her father was still working her hard on the court, she thought that he was already disappointed in her, after her freshman year failed to be the explosive debut that either of them wanted. 

And then, well—she came to the Foxes. She started over. A new team, new teammates, new court. Having a fresh start maybe should have been a relief, but it still felt nerve-wracking. She didn’t know what she was getting herself into, and she didn’t know if she’d made the right choice. 

But, after her first year on the Foxes, her dread wasn’t about returning to Palmetto, but about returning to New Hampshire, where she and her father had only grown farther and farther apart since that last innocent summer before Penn State. And, halfway through the summer, she’d just—had enough. Had enough of tiptoeing around him. Had enough of trying to train without invading the sanctity of his court, the one she’d always trained on before. 

She always thought that she was someone who didn’t quit when things got hard. That it was one of her greatest virtues. But, after leaving Penn State, she can see how valuing not quitting above all things made her inflict pain on herself that she didn’t need to, how she could have left long before she actually did. 

Was leaving quitting on her father? Or was it the smart thing to do, saving herself unnecessary pain? She still isn’t sure, but she came back to Palmetto early anyway. Moved into Abby’s with Glory and Marley, spent weeks here where even if she was training, they still felt restful, because she wasn’t biting her tongue, wasn’t looking over her shoulder.

And now everyone’s here again, in Abby’s backyard where Olivia spent the best part of her summer. And while there’s still uncertainty, she isn’t filled with dread. She isn’t starting out the season already ready to regret it. 

After spending at least part of the summer in Abby’s kitchen, she feels like it’s her job to help set things up—even though she’s never been exactly handy in the kitchen, she at least knows where everything is. "Hey, how was your summer?” She asks, with an armful of paper plates and disposable silverware in front of the closed screen door. “D’you mind getting that?”

#foxesstart #gettin olivia in and figured why not give her her own starter! #OLIVIA. #OLIVIA: INTERACTION

[flockrest]

wow. finally here to talk about my take on forms of rito languages!! it's a doozy, folks. there will be four i'll be exploring: rito script, rito shorthand, rito key, and birdsong. all under the cut, so here we go!

RITO SCRIPT

i believe this would most likely be cuneiform in nature, if only due to the constraints of rito morphology. i doubt they have any innate, very fine motor control in their wings ( "hands" ) given how big their feathers ( "fingers"? ) are, so impressions and/or inked signs that can be made with wedge-tipped styluses seem a little more logical than the more motion-heavy strokes needed for, say, something like hylian script — which they still use around the village for the sake of non-rito visitors ( notably carved into wood ), but many rito are better readers than they are writers of hylian script! not all, but that's the general trend!

okay, now...i am not a linguist. but i'm thinking the old system ( like. prior to, during, and a little after dineli's time ) was more logographic, and was used way, WAY less than rito was spoken. over the millennia, through language contact ( especially applicable to the rito, who were traditionally nomads and a bulk of whom are still travellers by nature ) and the natural evolution of their spoken analogue, rito script has developed into more of a logosyllabary! still used notably less than its verbal equivalent, but not to the extent of back then; all fledglings in rito village are taught to a decent level of literacy now.

i don't have a physical demonstration in mind because i don't have the brain juices for creating a whole conlang...but i want to emphasise that this script is reflective of spoken rito, which is a tonal language ( THIS IS IMPORTANT ) and not alphabetical.

RITO SHORTHAND

rito stenography of rito script! finds even rarer cases of use than its longhand, but that's just how it is with most shorthands, isn't it? penn is especially proficient in this — his draft notes for reporting are exclusively in this shorthand. makes it harder for those who might want information when he isn't willing to give it to read, and speed is a critical thing when you're on the field! also his notebook is tiny. his pen when it's in his "hand"? tiny. he is not writing longhand in that thing.

i have a more concrete image in my head about this system! it's primarily informed by and based on modern musical notation!! it would still vaguely resemble rito script ofc, but i think this would be neat given how music-entrenched rito culture is...and it's fun to think about possible uses for it as a code! is it sheet music or a message? it will be obvious to rito ( even to those unfamiliar with shorthand, if only in that "huh, this does not read like music" sense ), but to most non-rito? a mystery they don't even realise is a mystery slkfjkdf

RITO KEY

separate from any scripts; this is nonverbal rito communication! misleading title, i know ( <- weak for connecting music to the birdies in any way i can ). their signed language, so to speak, in that words and meanings are conveyed through manual/physical articulation rather than verbal — but there are still some vocal aspects to it as well? very little, and less defined in that it's just like...whistles, trills, warbles, and other actual bird noises ( almost dipping into birdsong ). these aren't necessary most of the time; they're used to accentuate or clarify signs, not outright replace them.

i like to think that their signs, when grounded, place heavy emphasis on wings, shoulders, head positions, etc. there's not a lot of individually bending wingtips/"fingers" — "hand" movements are mostly ( but not all ) fully splayed or fully clenched, if that makes sense? and facial expressions would be very important too, as it is with most signed languages.

and signs when flying...i'm thinking maybe flight patterns? possibly whole flight motions? this is where the vocal side of rito key might really come into play, but again isn't strictly necessary — especially if you're a good flier. does convey less specifics than its grounded form though.

most grown travellers and warriors know rito key. it's a useful language to learn! can offer the advantage of subtle but active coordination on the battlefield and such.

BIRDSONG

this is, essentially, "birdspeak". natural language of birds, including rito! penn proved that rito can speak to birds to such a depth that they are his primary informants, and even though literally nothing in the game indicates this is a universal thing, i am RUNNING with this tidbit and saying yeah. this is an inherent thing for the rito. not in that they're born with an automatic understanding of it, but in that it's the easiest thing for them to learn. like their first language! do you see my vision? do you see it! i get to decide this, it's my sleepover!! ( affectionate )

this is much more simplistic than any other language a rito would know; there are no specific words that would equate to specific meaning. it's all ( bird ) sounds! no nuance to this language. it's very direct, straightforward, and in-the-moment. a major case of interpretation =/= translation, which is why an actual rito language naturally arose sdlfsjdfk

#* arrowhead / study. #* plumule / study. #* powder down / study. #* field notes / study. #* wisps / study. #* roosting / ooc. #not me scouring this thing for the 10th time for anything that could be a contradiction in my thoughts or previous studies lsfkdlg #i think. we are good. i think we are good. #I AM HITTING POST. HERE WE GO. WOE WALL OF TEXT BE UPON YE #ngl though i had fun compiling my thoughts this time :) #special thank you to hilary for getting me to think about rit.o key!! #long post cw #* vanes / study.

[nothingunrealistic]

also taylor philip for 20

20. things you said that i wasn’t meant to hear

“I was one word out of power,” Tuk says miserably. “One whole word between me and fifteen points.”

“Didn’t keep us from winning.” Philip steps aside to let the disgruntled freshmen of Stanford C leave first. “Great game, guys.” It wasn’t, but brutal honesty won’t help Stanford retain half-decent players once he’s graduated.

“And a buzz just out of power is still a very good buzz.” Ben unfolds their schedule and runs a finger down the page. “Back to Room 211.”

Philip takes the lead, weaving through the teams crowding the hall in the search for their next game. “That was Kate’s room. Good for us.” No getting lost, no need to travel, more familiar moderators — he almost feels bad for the schools that never get the advantages of hosting.

“Weren’t the buzzers in there the handheld kind?” Tuk says. “I hate that they don’t have their own lights. Having to look at the console to know if I buzzed first always throws me off.”

“I don’t mind them,” Ben says, “though they do sometimes make me feel like I should answer in the form of a question.”

“Anything more ergonomic than the Judge is fine by me.” Philip gets the door. “Who are we playing?”

Room 211 is nearly empty. No Kate, no spectators. The only player there sits in the third chair down from the moderator’s desk, flipping through a notebook, pen in hand; their short black hair is so disheveled he’d call it bedhead if it weren’t past noon. From behind Philip, Ben says, half a question, “Berkeley A?”

The player looks up. “Yes. Stanford B?”

“That’s us,” Philip says. The Berkeley player — he can’t settle on a more specific noun than that — nods and scribbles something in their notebook.

“Oh, no,” Tuk whispers, and Philip finds himself spun around by a tug on his arm and pulled into an impromptu team huddle.

“Something wrong?”

“I talked to some of the other teams between rounds,” Tuk begins inauspiciously. “They said all Berkeley A’s matches have been blowouts and their top scorer makes Watson look like ENIAC.”

“That’s not that high a bar, it’s a completely different game —”

“This is all speculation until stats are posted,” Ben says, “but I have heard that Berkeley A has had some… lopsided wins. And the name Taylor has come up a lot.”

“And we don’t even have a full team!”

“You’re both that worried about one guy?” Philip frees his sleeve from Tuk’s grasp and stands a little straighter. “Look. We’ve studied hard, we’ve practiced, and we’ve played well today. If we lose this one, we lose knowing we brought our best. If we win, we’ll be proud that we beat a better team and did it short-handed, and —”

“Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars,” someone mumbles behind him, “and say ‘These wounds I had on Crispin’s day.’”

Philip turns. It could only have been the Berkeley player, who’s put down their pen. “Excuse me?”

“I gathered from your ‘band of brothers’ spiel that playing against us is your Battle of Agincourt, so I thought I’d help out. If I’d known sooner, I would have sent a crate of tennis balls.”

Philip doesn’t believe in talking trash at tournaments, because it’s unsportsmanlike and because this is quiz bowl, not the damn NHL. But is he supposed to stand here as if this asshole isn’t insulting him completely unprompted? “Wow. That kind of deep knowledge of Henry V probably got you some great buzzes at ACF Fall.”

“I haven’t played it since 2012,” the Berkeley player says, sounding bored. “How was it this year?”

Shit.

“It was great,” Tuk says, either not catching the dig at Philip or not caring. “So much easier than this tournament. But I guess they can’t all be like that.”

“Penn Bowl is more difficult than Fall, by design,” the Berkeley player says. “Are you a freshman?”

“Sophomore.”

“So you have time. You’ll improve.”

“Thanks.” Tuk sounds genuinely touched by that bland encouragement from a near-stranger.

“Uh, where’s the rest of your team?” Ben asks. “And Kate — the moderator? If you know?”

“My teammates are lodging a protest,” the Berkeley player says. “Which I doubt will be resolved. The moderator stepped out for a break.” So all their rudeness is reserved for Philip. Fantastic.

The door flies open, and a guy in glasses and a tall girl with a ponytail burst in, mid-argument. “— I just figured since you said you play softball, maybe —”

“Past tense,” says Ponytail. “I played softball. For one season.” She takes the first chair on Berkeley A’s side.

“Hello to you, too,” Bedhead mutters, and Philip doesn’t think anyone else hears it.

“Well, excuse me for being open-minded.” Glasses drops his backpack and throws himself down between his teammates. “I’m guessing you guys are from Stanford.”

“The B-team,” Tuk says, straightening his STANFORD sweatshirt. “Oh, hey —”

“Looks like I’m fashionably late,” says Kate from the doorway. “Sorry to keep you all waiting.”

“Wasn’t that long a wait.” And she’s dressed sharply enough to qualify as fashionably late, as well as to make both teams look like slobs. How she has the time and energy for this as a 3L, Philip really can’t imagine. He and his teammates take their seats while she gets settled at the moderator’s desk.

“Round 7… Stanford B and Berkeley A?” Nods and yeses all around the table. “Full disclosure, I’m a Stanford student. And I read for these guys a few rounds ago. Berkeley A, are you waiting for anyone?”

“No,” Bedhead says. No surprise that their top scorer’s performance is inflated if they’re playing shorthanded too.

“Good. Let’s do buzzer checks.”

“I’ll start.” Philip buzzes in and watches the console. Green light. “Philip.” Kate knows every Stanford player by name, of course, but introductions benefit the other team as well. They should know who’s aiming the longbows at them.

Buzz. “Ben.”

Buzz. “Tuk. T-U-K, no C.”

“Alright. Berkeley A?”

Ponytail buzzes. “Rian, with an I. Like Rian Dawson.”

“Nobody knows who that is,” Glasses says. “At least say Rian Johnson.”

“No. Looper sucked.”

“Whatever.” Buzz. “Winston.”

“You must get all the 1984 tossups,” Tuk says.

“No way. I refuse to read that book. Even in high school —”

“Let’s cut down on the chatter, please,” Kate says, but Philip needs a moment more, because if that’s Berkeley A’s whole roster and there’s only one introduction left to make — “Player three?”

Buzz.

“Taylor.”

Shit.

(send me a ship and a prompt and i’ll write a mini fic)

#inbox #unproduciblesmackdown #billions #philip charyn #taylor mason #tuk lal #ben kim #winston billions #rian billions #kate sacker #sometimes i write #with all those character tags it should be no surprise this is over a thousand words. oops ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #taylip

[ocean-blue-whump]

The Tech

Heist team part two! Part one HERE

Tagging @painful-pooch @winedark-whump @justplainwhump @diyalogues - let me know if you want to be added/removed!

CW: talk of criminal activity

***

Penn slips into the back of the classroom, baseball cap pulled down low over his head and all his attention focused on the man at the front of the classroom. 

He’s wearing a green bomber jacket, jeans, and high top sneakers, and holding a steel travel mug, pointing at a screen and talking about the code up there.

He’s a good teacher, Penn will give him that. All of the students, late 20s to early 40s, look like they’re paying attention and taking notes on older laptops and notebooks. 

Penn checks his phone, seeing one missed text from Jude. 

Plane’s boarding for Boston. Keep me posted on the tech guy and the safecracker.

He tucks his phone back in his pocket and leans against the wall, listening carefully to the lecture. Darien, twenty-seven years old, currently a teacher at a night school. When he and Jude contracted him for a museum heist, he said he was trying to get out of this business, but last Penn heard, he was still working odd jobs. 

He seems much more confident up at the front of a classroom, going over some basic information about code that Penn can kind of understand. 

When the clock hits ten, he gives everyone a smile. “Alright, guys. Thanks for coming tonight. I’ll post the reading for the week on the classroom site, but your homework is to read that, answer the questions, and prepare for our review quiz next week. If you need extra help, just send me an email or stop by next Monday or Wednesday. Have a good night.”

Penn hangs back while the students file out, some hanging back to take pictures of the board or make a few final notes. 

Darien sits down at his desk, taking a sip of tea and pulling up his laptop. Penn double checks that they’re alone in the room before walking up to him. The name plate on his desk doesn’t say Darien, but the dog tag hanging around Penn’s neck doesn’t say Penn. This business doesn’t call for real names. 

Darien looks up from his desk. “Can I help you with something?”

Penn chuckles and pulls his hat off. “Yeah, I think you can, Darien.”

He freezes. “I, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Penn shrugs and walks towards the whiteboard, looking at the code written in neat purple letters. “This looks a lot less complicated than the job you did in Lisbon. Making a…green dot move across a screen is a lot less complicated than shutting down all the cameras on a city block.”

“Lisbon…” Darien stands up, backing himself into a corner. “Oh no. No. Nope. Not you.”

“Shouldn’t back yourself into a corner, Darien. Not a smart move.” 

“I’ll call the police,” he says, black eyes wide.

Penn turns to him, crossing his arms. “You won’t.”

Darien shakes his head. “Fuck. Fuck me. Which one are you anyways? Penn or Jude?”

“Penn. But Jude knows I’m here.” He takes a slow step forward, looking at the contents of Darien’s desk. Seven black pens, four pencils, a cell phone and a flip phone, student paper. But what catches Penn’s eye is the fireproof folder underneath Darien’s computer. “You keep your job papers in there, right?”

Darien shifts around, his eyes daring across the room. “I don’t do that sort of thing anymore.”

“Ah, bullshit.” Penn gives him a cocky smile, staring him down. “But I bet you’ve never done anything quite like this.”

At that, Darien’s entire demeanor changes, and he leans forward, looking interested. “What do you mean?”

Penn knows he’s got Darien trapped, locked in by the promise of this chase. He was this way during the Lisbon job, operating best when dealing with complicated problems. “I mean it’s impossible, according to Jude. The most complicated security system in the world. Cameras, laser grids, motion sensors, you name it.” He doesn’t tell Darien that the life of the jewel thief and the safecracker will be in his hands, worried that it’ll scare him away. 

Darien taps his finger against his lips and rushes over to his desk chair, sitting down and bringing the projector screen up to a blank page where he can practice code. “Do you have anything you can give me on the location?”

Penn pulls out his phone and opens one of the emails the buyer sent him, the one with the known details of the motion sensors in the main hall. “See what you make of that.”

Darien practically grabs the phone out of Penn’s hand, making a few noises of excitement and typing out a long string of code, stopping himself with occasional comments. 

Penn smiles and steps back, leaning against one of the desks in the classroom, watching Darien’s fingers race across the keyboard, typing out huge blocks of text on the screen. He knows he picked the right guy for the job. Darien’s curiosity for the job will outweigh any worries he has. 

Or at least, that’s what Penn’s counting on. 

Finally, Darien leans back, rubbing his short beard. “Yeah. Alright. None of that is going to work.”

Penn stands up and takes his phone back. “Do you think you can do it?”

“I’ll need time and a quiet place to work,” he says, shaking his head like he doesn’t believe himself. “But yeah. I could do it. What’s in it for me?”

“Other than fame and being able to charge a whole hell of a lot more for your services?” Penn pauses, doing quick math in his head. “About 1.4 million dollars. It’s a ten million dollar prize, split seven ways. That okay with you?”

“I thought it would just be you and Jude.” He slowly shuts his laptop. “And you wouldn’t need me…on site, right?”

Penn laughs. “This is a big job, Darien. Big job means big crew. Big job means the tech guy has to be on scene to deal with any problems.” Seven years of thievery, a team of seven. It’s almost poetic, but Penn’s appreciation of that sort of thing has dwindled over the years. “So what do you say?”

“Can I think on it?” 

“Nope. But I can answer any other questions you have.”

Darien hesitates before saying, “The buyer. What do you know about them?”

Penn shrugs. “Nothing. Just that he’s paying us ten million dollars to pull this off.”

Darien takes a deep breath, standing back up. “Okay. Okay, I’m in.”

“You know something funny, Darien?”

He starts cleaning up his desk, looking confused. “Hmmm?”

Penn smirks. “You never asked me what the target is. You never asked me what we’re stealing.” 

A blush creeps up Darien’s neck, and he stops moving. “Oh.”

“You’re about to be around some very experienced people. One rookie mistake and they’ll go for the throat.” He’s bluffing, or at least he thinks he is. He doesn’t know anything about Jude’s jewel thief. 

“Right.” Darien stands up, rubbing the back of his neck. “Can I, um, can I ask what the target is?”

“A diamond necklace. And lose the ‘can I.’ Don’t ask for permission, Darien. We’re thieves.” He pulls an envelope out of his pocket, tossing it towards him.

Darien fumbles with it but finally manages to catch it, looking it over. “What is it?”

“One plane ticket. Your flight leaves tomorrow, ten in the morning, nonstop to Great Falls International Airport.”

“Montana?”

“Yep. You’re seat 12B. I’m 22D. You get off the plane, I’ll meet you outside the airport. Got it?” Penn feels the last sentence come out a little more aggressive than he meant, but it’s all the same. This is a ten million dollar job, no room for friendliness, and Penn’s building a team here. 

Darien tucks the envelope in his nylon briefcase. “Yeah. Why, though?” he asks, slinging his bag over his shoulder, which gives Penn the chance to see the tiny Star Trek keychain dangling on the side. 

Penn chuckles. “Gotta pick up our asshole of a safecracker.”

Darien slowly nods. “Right. Okay. I’m going to pretend I understand.”

“Attaboy.” Penn puts his hat back on and shoves his hands in his pockets. “Welcome to the team, Darien. See you tomorrow.” He starts walking towards the door, moving silently on the tile floor.

“Yeah. See you.” Penn hears the clink of a travel mug before a hesitant, “Hey, Penn?”

He doesn’t even turn around. “That’s my name.”

“If you need to contact me, how will you…”

“I’ll find you.”

“And if I need to contact you?”

Penn turns his head slightly, keeping his face blank. “Don’t worry. I’ll find you.”

#heist team #penn #darien #whump #whump writing #whumblr #writeblr #blue's words

[penebui]

Everything about the ice floes was just about Sensei's Brother

Sensei mentions that the ice floes were "sinners", the ice floes are not sentient. He was just talking about his brother, which okay makes sense. He dismisses the ice floes words as noises that just sound similar to words.

And then you realize the brother was the one who made Phos lose their arms. He saw Phos's urge to be useful and exploited it.

That panel where Cairn explains how she was suicidal during the winters? Conveniently looking down a hole made by the ice floes as the ice floes egg her on to jump? Also him.

The lunarians that mentioned the ice floes repeatedly begging for the lunarians to give them a human body, or to let them free since they were stuck, trapped.

Note: In the same chapter they call the ice floes Sensei's Brother, but then say that the humans were the ice floes after dissolving and becoming particles, which is confusing

The land changes after Phos prays and a new era begins. The place now looks like a marshland, not enough for the big ice floes to form. Which means it's easier for the brother to drag himself to Phos. Because he isn't trapped anymore. Be it ice floe or ocean

#Houseki no kuni #Hnk #Houseki no kuni spoilers #Hnk spoilers #Penn talks about pens #I am going to post about the brother now. Essays on that bitch #My post #Text post

[leozackk]

Just remembered Metalhawk. Sobs

#Penn talks about pens

[textingaboutprometheus]

I don’t know that a “househusband” is what L would want or need. Someone willing to actually be an equal partner, yes.

I just figure it'll end up like a Kal Penn situation where he dates someone for 11 years and the public doesn't find out until he pens his memoir and only talks about it one chapter.

[tussive]

Just went to the bank to make a deposit for work and the teller was talking to another teller about pens. She asked me if I was a pen person, but U thought she meant Penn like the university. Because all anyone seems to really care about around here are universities and football and dying while crashing your car drunk. But then I realized she meant pens and we had a nice conversation about what pens she likes and what pens I like and it was cool.

[rcmndedlisten]

Interview: Nicole Yun On Her New Album ‘Matter’

Photo by Aaron Spicer

Nicole Yun is the singer and guitarist of the dreamy indie rock outfit Eternal Summers, but on her recently released second solo offering, Matter, reality hits hard. Written across the mind-warping stretch of pandemic times and delving deep into the state of this world on both an individual and community scale, Yun reintroduces herself as a songwriting in her most personal form yet through a creative direction as vivid in its craft as the Virginia-based artist has ever been.

Above all, it’s a statement of her personhood as well as that being a voice for the Asian community during a critical moment in our modern day American society. +rcmndedlisten spoke with Yun via e-mail to talk about her approach as a songwriter when confronting some of the most personal reflections she’s put to pen, turning to pop to punctuate her music’s themes, how these last three years influenced the energy behind the album's sound, and where she’s headed next.

+rl: With your primary outlet Eternal Summers, your songwriting often falls softer off the tongue whereas your solo work has a more defined focus. This effort is especially more so in dealing with themes of survivalism, being seen as an equal as a Korean-American woman, and thwarting attempts to cut you (and the rest of the Asian community) down in size. Did you find that this being your most personal reflection to date made it easier to find that clarity in sound, or was it yet another challenge you took on?

Nicole Yun: Honestly, the sound of this record was the driving force to help me to be more honest and vulnerable with the lyrics. I really wanted a guitar driven indie rock record that sounded powerful, concise and intentional. My first solo album was an open experiment in style and had many different players throughout the album, but the thought behind Matter was to have the same band throughout and to capitalize on the strengths of the group chemistry which seemed to lean towards punchy powerful delivery, and catchy poppy melodic choices in each member’s playing.

With such strength in the music, I was able to get a sense of what was needed from the lyrics. On a train ride to New York to play some shows, I wrote the lyrics for “Like Never Before” -- perhaps my fifth attempt to find lyrics appropriate for the music. The words came spilling out because my mind had been pre-occupied with my trip to New York and whether I was going to be safe arriving at Penn Station -- an area in Manhattan where many hate crimes against Asians had occurred. I felt both self-conscious and empowered once I had finished writing the lyrics. It was as if the discomfort was a sign that I needed to finally express my frustrations and true emotions about what I had been feeling in a much more candid way than I had ever done before.

+rl: It strikes anyone listening as being more of a "lyrics-forward" kind of album even though the music itself is arguably your sound presented in its catchiest terms. Do you find embracing a -- for a lack of better words -- pop medium in your canvas helps punctuate the narrative of songs like these where each line is a self-reminder, a declaration, or an exclamation to the world around you?

NY: I have always loved a juxtaposition in lyrics and music. With Eternal Summers, I often found myself writing lyrics that were a bit darker while the music tended to be more dreamy, shimmery or upbeat. On Matter, I really enjoyed pairing much more literal, personal, and often quite blunt lyrics with a catchy melody to form tension. Is this ear worm about racism or xenophobia??? Yes, why yes it is. The catchier the vocal melody could be, the greater the tension it built with the lyrics.

+rl: The album was recorded in two very different places: NYC and your hometown of Roanoke, Virginia. Without having any guiding background info to be able to tell, a song like "Annyeounghaseyo Again" has a very Roanoke rumble about it where as the exhilarant jangle pop of "Lost Keys" races down big city streets. I'm curious to know if either location put you in a different headspace, and where we as listeners might be able to pick apart the details in those respective tracks...

NY: Though the locations could not have been more different, the approach to our recording was always similar. Since my band mates and I all live 8 hours away from each other (NYC/NJ, Cleveland and Virginia) and since the album was recorded during the pandemic, we would use a weekend every four or five months to cram in as much recording as we could. The process was stretched out over years -- 2019 through 2022. The energy always felt like there was a sense of urgency because we didn’t know when things with the pandemic would get worse and when we would see each other again. It didn’t matter where we were, we were determined to work to get the tracks recorded.

+rl: Matter is informed by the events and your own personal experiences of the last three years. Where do you hope the proverbial wheel steers going forward from this point onward?

I never expected to write an album like Matter. The topics felt relevant for the headspace I was in during the pandemic, and I am so glad the album came together to be what it is. The vinyl for the album will come out later this summer alongside some tour dates so I’m excited to finally perform it all! My hope for the next step in my creative process is to explore a new sonic palette and perhaps some different genres while still employing melodicism and vulnerability. We shall see!!

Matter by Nicole Yun

Nicole Yun’s Matter is available now on Kanine Records.

#interviews #nicole yun #eternal summers #kanine records

[rxscss]

"𝒾 𝓌𝒶𝓈 𝒷𝑜𝓇𝓃 𝓉𝑜 𝓇𝓊𝓃, 𝒾 𝒹𝑜𝓃'𝓉 𝒷𝑒𝓁𝑜𝓃𝑔 𝓉𝑜 𝒶𝓃𝓎𝑜𝓃𝑒, 𝑜𝒽 𝓃𝑜, 𝒾 𝒹𝑜𝓃'𝓉 𝓃𝑒𝑒𝒹 𝓉𝑜 𝒷𝑒 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒𝒹 𝒷𝓎 𝓎𝑜𝓊. 𝒻𝒾𝓇𝑒 𝒾𝓃 𝓂𝓎 𝓁𝓊𝓃𝑔𝓈, 𝒸𝒶𝓃'𝓉 𝒷𝒾𝓉𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒹𝑒𝓋𝒾𝓁 𝑜𝓃 𝓂𝓎 𝓉𝑜𝓃𝑔𝓊𝑒, 𝑜𝒽 𝓃𝑜, 𝒾 𝒹𝑜𝓃'𝓉 𝓃𝑒𝑒𝒹 𝓉𝑜 𝒷𝑒 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒𝒹 𝒷𝓎 𝓎𝑜𝓊."

(—) ★ spotted!! nadia sakarya on the cover of this week’s most recent tabloid! many say that the 32 year old looks like hande ercel, but i don’t really see it. while the actress is known for being spontaneous my inside sources say that they have a tendency to be snippy i swear, every time i think of them, i hear the song midnight sky by miley cyrus {she/her / cisfemale} - penned by candice

𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓴𝓼

connections || musings || pinterest || instagram || headcanons 

𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓼𝓽𝓲𝓬𝓼

name:��nadia sakarya

age: thirty two

nicknames: nad

date of birth: may 19th, 1989

astrological sign: taurus

place of birth: east harlem, new york city

occupation: actress/comedian

label: the connard

positive traits: spontaneous, quick-witted, realistic, headstrong

negative traits: snippy, sarcastic, pessimistic, blunt

characters/celebrities she’s like: penn badgley post gossip girl shitting on the show in interviews, emily ratajkowski calling out sexism and misogyny in the industry, chelsea handler, jennifer lawrence, aubrey plaza

𝓫𝓲𝓸𝓰𝓻𝓪𝓹𝓱𝔂

born and raised as an only child, nadia was a new york city kid down to her core.

her mother being a teacher at the local elementary school and her father owning a butcher shop, though her immediate family was small, it was the neighbors and friends in her neighborhood that became nadia's family.

her parents were givers - often working double time to give to their community - her father giving food out to the homeless daily, her mother working long hours at the school to help any children who needed extra help. they taught nadia at an early age that giving back, even when they didn't have that much, was incredibly important.

they raised her to be strong, free of ignorance and bias, and always wanted her to be someone that stood up to any kind of injustice, and that's exactly what nadia became - an incredibly headstrong girl, fighting for what was right, questioning authority to a fault, having 'she's a great student, but talks too much' written on every single one of her report cards growing up.

because of this, her parents felt as though she needed an outlet and enrolled nadia in a local theater troupe after school.

often cast as the villain or the comic relief sidekick, nadia never had 'main character' potential - was never the soft spoken, pretty lead with the voice of an angel. she was always the one that was too loud, too crass and too clutzy, but little did she know that that would one day be her super power.

getting into laguardia high school was when everything changed for nadia. her quirks becoming her strengths, realizing that she didn't need to be the pretty damsel in distress lead and that she was a powerhouse all on her own, turning minor roles into the one that everyone was talking about when the curtain dropped.

only having theater experience, her plan was to head to broadway, making it into julliard college for acting. however, despite how talented she was when it came to acting, she couldn't sing for shit. no matter how many lessons she took, no matter how hard she tried, she simply didn't have it. and a voice was needed for broadway.

at a complete loss and extremely discouraged being surrounded by talent from all over the world, nadia dropped out of college halfway through her freshman year, much to her parent's dismay.

she began doing standup comedy acts at random comedy clubs around the city, trying to make herself known, trying to gain a following, and trying to make it somehow.

one of her main schticks was mimicking the upper east side prep school kids she had grown up making fun of with her friends, and one night, the casting director for an up and coming cw drama about said upper east side brats just so happened to be in the audience.

loving nadia's dramatic portrayal of an upper east side snob, he asked her to audition for the role of blair waldorf in gossip girl and after a long audition process, nadia got the role.

thankful she was able to stay in new york city, close to her family and friends, the role was a complete out of body experience for her and catapulted her into overnight fame.

because of who her character was, she started getting cast in prestigious fashion campaigns, a frequent on the met gala red carpet, and someone who sat front row at every fashion week, and nadia found it hysterical, because it was the furthest thing from who she was.

although the role paid the bills, gave her enough money to help both of her parents retire and move out to a nice house in long island, the reputation the role gave her was something she absolutely hated - because it was so far removed from who she really was.

after a six year run, the show finally wrapped, and nadia didn't hesitate to make it known how stupid she thought the show was and how she was absolutely nothing like blair waldorf in real life. often performing her own sold out comedy shows where she had an entire bit talking about how dumb gossip girl was.

wanting nothing more than to break out into the world of serious acting, however, has managed to become a staple in the genre that is the personification of everything she's against - which is romcoms.

during her run on gossip girl and now, years after, she has been landing rom-com after rom-com, becoming a staple in a genre that she hates with a fiery passion, and her sarcastic answers during press tours don't shy away from letting it be known.

𝓯𝓲𝓵𝓶𝓸𝓰𝓻𝓪𝓹𝓱𝔂 & 𝓬𝓪𝓻𝓮𝓮𝓻

tv + movie career:

2010 - 2016 -gossip girl., role: blair waldorf age: 21-27, awards: teen choice award for choice tv actress 2010 & 2012

2010- clueless. role: tai, age: 21, awards & acclaim: none

2012- mean girls. role: janis ian, age: 23, awards & acclaim: none

2013-  the devil wears prada. role: andrea sachs, age: 24, awards & acclaim: none.

2014-  easy a, role: olive penderghast, age: 25 awards & acclaims: none

2015-  new girl, role: 3 episode guest arc as abby day, age: 26, awards & acclaims: none

2016- movie: 13 going on 30, role: jenna rink, age: 27, awards & acclaims:  people's choice award + teen choice award

2018- movie: bridesmaids, role: annie walker, age: 30, awards & acclaims: none

2019- movie: miss congeniality, role: gracie hart, age: 31, awards & acclaims: teen choice award

2019- movie: wine country, role: tammy, age: 31, awards & acclaims: none

2020-  movie: bridget jones diary, role: bridget jones, age: 32, awards & acclaims: none

2021-  movie: pretty woman,  role: vivian, age: 32, awards & acclaims:  golden globe for best actress,

#hillzhqsintro #nadiasakarya