#please don’t be mean to me over this

[slytherinboysappreciation]

Adoration - T. R. x fem!Reader

A/N: this has been sitting in my drafts for a while so I figured I’d post it. It’s unedited and my first time writing a sex scene so please be nice 💛 No use of Y/N. Reader is Dumbledore’s daughter. Tom is in his seventh year for this fic

Infatuation, the second part, is here

CW: Angst, so much angst; religious trauma, I guess?; Dumbledore bashing; mentions of devils; mentions of past physical abuse; trauma related to masturbation; crying, nausea, shame, and self-hatred related to masturbation; hurt/comfort kinda; praise kink; uhhh I think that’s it. Please let me know if I missed anything!!!

Does contain mature content so NO MINORS PLEASE!!! Just keep scrolling!!

999 words

Tom hated Dumbledore. The professor reminded him too much of the priests at the orphanage. The ones who smile and pretend to be your friend, but are never there when you truly need it.

Tom hated Dumbledore. The way he so obviously played favorites while blatantly denying doing so. Slughorn was an annoying professor, but at least he admitted to his favorites.

Tom hated Dumbledore. The way the man looked as if he knew something Tom didn’t. It got under his skin; made him itch with discomfort.

But no matter how much Tom hated Dumbledore, he hated his daughter more.

You’d been his first true connection to the wizarding world. You’d been there that first day, when Dumbledore had come to visit Tom in the orphanage.

You’d stood quiet and docile as Dumbledore told Tom about his magic. Tom had listened, of course. But it wasn’t until he was alone with you later that he truly believed.

You’d sat on the edge of his rickety bed, while your father had gone to discuss things with the orphanage nuns.

“They call me a freak,” Tom had said quietly. “They say I’m possessed by the devil.”

You’d looked at him. You, with your lovely wide eyes and sweet trusting smile. “What’s a devil?” You’d asked, so earnestly. “Your magic is special. See? I can do it too.”

You’d held out your hand, concentrating. A small flower had bloomed in your palm, sprouting from nowhere. And Tom had finally believed.

Believed you and your stupid smile. Your darling sweet manner. Your soft-spoken words.

All the things he despised about you now.

Despised… and adored.

Tom could not get you out of his head. You haunted him. Hounded him. It was maddening.

Every morning you’d smile so sweetly at him. You’d laugh or say something silly and inconsequential. And it would stick in Tom’s head all day long.

He couldn’t stand it!

You were nothing compared to him. He was Tom Riddle, the newly discovered Heir of Slytherin! The future ruler of the wizarding world! Voldemort!

You were the daughter of a half-witted buffoon who’d abandoned Tom as soon as he’d gotten to Hogwarts.

And yet, he could not get you out of his head.

Like now.

He’d been in the library, trying to study peacefully when you’d approached him with that smile of yours. You’d needed his help getting a book down.

Of course he helped; he could never truly end up saying no to your smile. Just another fact he hated.

But he’d stood too close to you while getting down the book, and he’d accidentally brushed up against you.

And now he was in his room, angrily trying to will the erection you’d unknowingly given him away.

It doesn’t work. Not after five minutes, not after ten. The memory of your blush and sweet smile was too much.

Tom can’t stand this. He has a meeting with one of his teachers in an hour!

So there’s only one thing to do.

Tom settles back into his bed, exhaling heavily. This has rarely been a pleasurable experience for him. The nuns at Wool’s were strict in their devotion to chastity. Even with the boys.

Tom’s been beaten more times than he can count after being caught trying to get some relief. So he avoids it until absolutely necessary.

And now he’s having to do it, all because of your horrendous smile.

Tom unbuckles his pants, glancing at the door to double check it’s locked. It is.

Tom takes his time pulling out his cock. Rushing feels too much like being back at the orphanage.

He grimaces at the sight. Too many bad memories are associated with what he’s about to do.

With a deep breath, Tom closes his eyes and clears his mind and wraps a hand around his cock.

The self-loathing hits after the first few moments. It’s strong enough that he falters, wanting to vomit.

But the need for release is stronger than his hatred. He continues on, swallowing down his nausea.

Every moment is like torture. His mind conjuring hateful words about himself, while his body aches with pleasure.

He starts to cry; silent tears pooling in his eyes. It’s too much. The hatred. The disgust and shame.

Just as he’s about to let go and give up, a new thought enters his mind. A smile…

His frenzied mind attaches itself to the thought like a rabid dog. Before he can even comprehend the switch, Tom’s breath is taken away.

There you are, in his mind. Sitting at the edge of his bed, smiling.

He stills immediately, but your smile isn’t mocking. It’s… peaceful.

“Silly boy,” you murmur, in his mind. “What are you so worked up about?”

Tom swallows, shaking. “You,” he whispers.

You laugh, soft and teasing. The sound makes Tom ache.

In his mind, you reach out, fingers feather soft. You grasp his cock, that ever-infuriating smile on your face.

“Silly boy,” you coo. “It’s as easy as this.”

As your imaginary hand glides along his cock, his own hand does the same. Tom whimpers. It feels incredible.

He starts to speed up, panting as your imagined self murmurs encouragements to him.

“That’s it,” you whisper to him. “That’s my good boy.”

“Your good boy,” he repeats, breathless.

You laugh again, your voice so achingly soft. And Tom cums so hard his ears ring.

He hunches over, gasping for breath. You’re gone now. His thoughts flit around aimlessly. What had just happened?

He lies back, gazing up at the ceiling in shock. He’d just— You’d— You.

He’s made a mess of his pants and bedsheets. But this time, the shame and self-hatred are overshadowed by a sudden rush of annoyance.

Of course it would be you. You, with your smile and laughter. You, who he cannot rid from his brain as much as he tries.

You.

He cleans himself up, too busy plotting how he can get his revenge to feel ashamed at the mess.

#tom riddle #tom riddle x reader #tom riddle x you #tom riddle smut #reader is from an unspecified hogwarts house #please don’t be mean to me over this #divider by cafekitsune

[ninadove]

Hello there.

[Slides elegantly into the tags]

Do you ever think about Emotion?

Of course you do. How could you not. But do you ever think about this exchange specifically:

“You’re not Adrien!”

Because Adrien is sweet, and forgiving, and kind. In fact, kindness is his defining quality — Marinette herself made sure of it:

“I’ll never tell another boy I love him before I know everything about him! Whether he’s kind or not, thoughtful, what he does outside of school and with who… I’ll know everything.”

But.

Do you ever think about Adrien’s development in S4 and especially S5?

Overtime, he has grown resentful of a system that exploits him relentlessly.

Of the people he gave countless chances to, only to be let down over and over again.

Of the web of lies and half-truths he constantly finds himself tangled into. A web that is only growing bigger, stickier, and trickier to escape.

And the Senticousins. Do you ever think about them?

Do you ever think about how they are each other’s reflection, identical and opposites all at once?

“When you bring a living being into this world, you have a responsibility towards them. Your duty is to protect them, love them, help them discover the true meaning of their existence. To deprive them of that… is monstruous.”

“To have a child is to help them blossom, to grow, to find themselves and to be free!”

Do you ever think about their opposite character arcs in S5 — one learning mercy and trust, the other developing a rage so strong it could destroy the world?

Do you ever think that if Felix can now have this exchange with his mum, and mean it:

“They’re all monsters!”

“Not all of them.”

Then there’s nothing stopping Adrien from saying this:

“Look closer, Marinette. They’re the monsters.”

#AND I LOVE HIM FOR IT 💚🐈‍⬛ #To be clear I don’t necessarily think he’d mean it. He probably wouldn’t. #But if he did who could blame him? He has so much to deal with #He’s a child being protected by children and all of them are trapped in this world the adults poisoned for them #Felix and him really aren’t that different. He could be plagued by these feelings too. I have no doubt he’d heal from them down the line #But I would LOVE him to use the world “monster(s)” in S6 (PLEASE NOT AGAINST FELIX THOMAS LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME THOMAS —) #It would be such a beautiful callback to Emotion and a great illustration of how much his grief is changing him #And how it could take over like it did with Gabriel if he’s not careful. Thank you for coming to my DUUSU Talk #miraculous ladybug #adrien agreste #chat noir #antichat #felix graham de vanily #argos #senticousins #marinette dupain cheng #adrinette #kagami tsurugi #feligami #amelie graham de vanily #mlb spoilers #mlb emotion #random ramblings

[stuckinapril]

Think I’m making communication a non-negotiable for 2024. If you don’t know how to properly communicate like an adult we quite literally can’t be friends

#I’m not trying to be a bitch like I get that this is hard for lots of people for various reasons #i think I’m just at a point where I want people to come correct instead of waiting for them to potentially get better #only for me to learn in the harshest way that they’re only getting worse #I’m not gonna be ur practice run this year. come when ur ready #the moment I sense someone isn’t saying what they mean it’s so over. like I’m flexible on so many flaws but NOT this one. communicate !!! #the people pleasing is literally kicking in rn but I’m just trying to be honest w myself about what my capacity can handle at the moment #and I’m genuinely at my wits’ end when it comes to communication. so I don’t think I’d be the best person for people like that #is this mean?? this feels like a fair boundary to make #p

[counting-stars-gayly]

Lord, give me strength. The PJO discourse has begun, and no one starting it has read the books in the last five years.

#guys I just reread them a month ago; I promise that you are misremembering 90% of the og series. (I did too. it’s called passage of time.) #seriously please reread them before criticizing the show or just don’t criticize it at all. #unless you’re criticizing how it stands on its own instead of how accurate it is to the books. #I mean this in the kindest most gentle way possible because you guys are ruining what could be a great experience for yourselves #I’m over here vibing; don’t y’all wanna be vibing? vibe with me #edit: I invite y’all to rewatch the movies too actually because I keep seeing people act like the movies were better than they were. #like guys…that shit was a special kind of ass. don’t pretend it’s more true to source material (especially character wise and theme wise) #just because the show isn’t what you specifically wanted it to be. #percy jackson and the olympians #pjo #percy jackson #pjo adaptation #pjo tv show #pjo tv series #percy jackson disney+ #rick riordan #percy jackson series #the lightning thief

[o-wild-west-wind]

tumblr algorithm stop feeding me takes that this show is just a silly goofy comedy that shouldn’t include death or that Izzy is the token disabled elder queer on the show where an actual disabled elder queer is literally the romantic lead or that Lucius and Pete being called “mateys” is diluting their gayness because it’s not “husbands” or that it’s sexist that Zheng lost her fleet and later prioritized her love for a man or that Ed is Izzy’s abuser because we conveniently forgot all of season 1 or that trauma is never followed through with because sometimes actions are used instead of words or that Ed learned nothing because the inn was apparently a whim as if he hasn’t been obsessing over retirement from day 1 I swear did we even watch the same show?? I literally feel like I’m in backwards land?

I have a really novel concept for y’all complaining about character’s arcs not being fully resolved or healed and that’s called there is supposed to be another season of this show

I also have another really novel concept as to why every single character did not have a one on one trauma apology session and so much time was spent on Ed and Stede and that is because this is literally the Ed and Stede show and also sometimes parallels are meant to be inferred and extrapolated because that is what efficient storytelling does instead of spoonfeeding you

And my most novel concept of all as to why some beloved characters had less screen time is because Max is a massive jerk and cut the budget

Y’all this wasn’t personal and maybe this show was never about Izzy maybe the show called our flag means death is actually about death maybe sad does not equal homophobic letdown maybe the brown gay character introduced as the love interest from day 1 gets to outlive the angry white guy that had a redemption arc after actively bullying and trying to break up every gay couple for a season I don’t know what to tell you just can you please let non-white people have this arc for once without assuming it’s an attack on you I’m BEGGING y’all

#I’m sorry for overusing y’all I grew up country lmao #anyway. critical thinking when #I didn’t want to make more posts about this I’m just tired and seeing people denounce the show as homophobic #for killing the subtextually gay internalized homophobia character #in favor of the canonically gay brown protagonist #makes me feel more and more uncomfortable the more I see it #WHY do you defend him over the actual gay people esp. poc gay people like make it make sense #be sad he died I have a million posts about that but this strawmanning is getting concerning #bc what does this mean of your ability to recognize real homophobia #it’s not about you!!! and if you think his death means something about you PLEASE unpack that #I had a lovely night with friends and am not sober lol so if I seem salty that’s why I’m sorry for being a broken record #this is not anti-Izzy this is anti-baffling takes on Izzy #I’m sorry we’ll be back to our regularly scheduled kiss gif programming soon I don’t like these posts either #I just can’t resist a good hill #ofmd #ofmd season 2 #ofmd spoilers #ofmd s2 spoilers #fandom crit #our flag means death

[anonymous-dentist]

Maybe it’s a good thing I’m not part of the twitter community properly because every time I go there, everybody just talks about how all the spiderbit fics on ao3 are bad and how they’re all ooc and how nobody in the English speaking community can write them correctly and stuff and like. Who hurt these poor twitter users?? Because there’s GREAT stuff on ao3 in English just like how there’s GREAT stuff on twitter in Spanish and Portuguese! Diversify your reading, twitter users! And be kind :(, you’re driving away potential friends with this kind of talk

#I feel bad for being monolingual because I’m trying :( #but please be nice to me and to all the other English speakers writing our fav characters #tbh they can be MEAN over on that website so like that’s the main reason I don’t have an a.d. account there #because they’re really really mean

[designernishiki]

okay but. why does it seem like 24 year old majima’s ridden a horse before. why does he talk like he has Experience. what is this lost lore

#rambling #we just gonna gloss over this #to me ​this either implies he’s from either a REALLY country background Or on the other end of the spectrum (my personal belief) and he’s #from an upper middle class to well off background and has been to like horse camp or horseriding lessons or something in his childhood #oh man please i love the image of an 8-14 year old majima being made to do horseriding by his parents because hes this #lanky pale ass kid who needs to do SOME kind of sport or something #and boy would he Hate it #he’s bizarrely prodigious at a Lot of the (especially technique based) things he tries canonically so I imagine he wouldn’t actually be Bad #at it after some trial and error but. he’d still fucking hate it. and his cool persona in his head would be riding a motorcycle or something #instead cause that’s Way cooler to him #man I have so many thoughts about young majima I really gotta go into depth on it soon #oh yeah just a note: part of the reason I don’t think he’s from a country background is cause his Real Accent canonically is #a tokyo one which he’s still getting the hang of covering up with a kansai one when he’s 20. meaning there’s not a ton of time for him to #have adjusted into a Tokyo one or something prior if he hadn’t grown up there #so I’m pretty damn sure he’s from Tokyo #that + a number of other details that make him seem to me like he grew up with a more formal education #and ywah blah blah blah #majima #Yuki #sunshine siblings #y0

[findingcrow]

“Dog Days are Over (Florence + The Machine)” (aka “run fast for your mother fast for your father song) reminds me SO much of the rangers apprentice. I mean imagine, it’s the end of the book, Halt and Will are talking. They’re watching the sun on the verandah, and Gilan zooms by on Blaze, laughing and waving. Crowley is next, shaking his head but laughing too, trying to catch up with him. Maybe Horace is there too, with Evanlyn, motioning to Will for him to join them. Will looks at Halt, and Halt raises an eyebrow and nods at him. Will rushes to Tug and hops on him, running after the two, and Halt watches for a moment before getting on Abelard and catching up. All of this with Dog Days are Over in the background, or maybe Willow Tree March by The Paper Kites, or some The Oh Hello’s song. Like come on, that would be so cinematic and perfect and I would break down SOBBING and would not recover for DAYS

#rangers apprentice #john flanagan #will treaty #halt o'carrick #ranger's apprentice #gilan davidson #horace altman #evanlyn #princess cassandra #books #i’m rolling with the lgbt (the found family book series made for middle schoolers) #please imagine. just think of the possibilities it would be so cool #this blog was originally going to be about ALL of my interests but now it’s just tra sorry not sorry #this series means so much to me you don’t understand #also dog days are over would match the end of book 6 so well like #ok ok i'm done #someone needs to tell me to stfu sometimes like #MY SILLY GUYS #they make me sick #they make me cry with joy #imagining this in my head is easier than writing it down sorry if it doesn’t make sense

[64-jungle-planks]

Night at the Museum: Redesigning Characters 1/4(?)

Character profile: Frank "Noses" Capone

This character is based off of and takes inspiration from the historical Frank Capone.

Real Name: Salvatore "Frank" Capone

Nickname and Meaning: Noses - He got this nickname from being inquisitive and being unafraid to stick his nose into other people's business, even if it gets him into trouble.

Age: 28 (July 16, 1895)

Time Period: Frank is from America's Prohibition in the 1920s, to be exact, hes from April 1st, 1924 Chicago, just before he and a group of Mafioso's went to the polling station near the Western Electric Hawthorn plant.

Family: James "Jimmy" Vincenzo Capone, Raffaele "Ralph" James Capone, and Alphonse "Al" Gabriel Capone + Three younger brothers and one sister that wasn't brought back.

(Headcanons under the cut)

Based on/taken from History:

involved in the Five Points Gang with mobster John Torrio as a kid

Rumored to be queer because he never had an open interest in women/having sex with women like his brothers

Had a kid??? But then took it away from his fiancé??

Nickname was Noses?

Smartest of the eldest Capones

Killed when 70 plain clothes police officers arrived at W 22nd St & S Cicero Ave, Cicero, IL 60804 on April 1st, 1924. He didn’t have time to pull his gun out and was shot so many times, two other bystanders were killed/injured

described as mild-mannered, intelligent and immaculately-dressed

Thought to have ordered 500 deaths since joining the Chicago outfit (1919-1921 to 1924)

“you never get no talk back from a corpse”

+ Intelligent + Social + Hard-working - Quick to anger - Unstable moods

My own silly headcanons:

Can be level-headed, but usually his anger gets the best of him.

His presence calms Al down a lot. His brother really loves him and missed Frank. Frank reminds Al of simpler times when they’d run errands for their old boss Torrio… now Al’s boss.

Represented by clover/clubs. The club symbol represents the summer season and the earth element. The club suit in cards indicates youth, a phase when a person focuses on education, and recklessness.

Frank has matching pins with Al, Jimmy, and Ralph, each brother taking a playing card suit. The brothers made them together with old scrap metal they found in the Navy yard.

Sticks his nose where it doesn’t belong. He likes putting himself in the middle of gossip circles. When he’s not purposefully antagonizing Napoleon to get a reaction, they get along really well because of this.

Wiggles his nose when he thinks hard

Tallest of the Capone brothers (6’1)

Broken out of the museum in search of the closest liquor store out of pure boredom. They tried to pay with greyscale $50s and promptly got kicked out.

A little bit of a sadist.

Gets very violent when he’s upset and enjoys it. Frank doesn’t usually feel bad about his previous actions

Frank: My furby died in my arms when I was a child Ivan: I’m sorry to hear that..? Frank, grinning and joking slightly: Don’t be. I’ve never felt more like a god.

He’d be on Booktok

Like his brothers, Frank will flirt with anyone. Unlike his brothers, Frank is mostly doing it to tease and have fun.

Sucker for hallmark movies

Jerma vibes

His ears turn red when he lies (credit to @frombottlealleytotheharbor for this one)

Frank’s Tommy is a replica whereas his Smith & Wesson Model 10 is from a photo/cutout. His Tommy doesn’t work at all, but his handgun can- he just doesn’t have any bullets.

The Model 10 is named Peggy and the Tommy is Doll

….. don’t call him Frankie unless your family.

Jimmy Consentini belongs to @all-yn-oween. I had to draw him and Frank together because (I think) they both have two-piece suits.

Plain clothes Napoleon is inspired by this and something I have scheduled.

Al, Ralph, Napoleon

#Frank Capone natm #Frank Capone #NATM #natm au #night at the museum ocs #night at the museum #Night at the museum 2 #Night at the museum battle of the Smithsonian #NATM 2 #Al Capone #Al Capone natm #please add on your own headcanons onto this #I’d love to read them!! #A little off topic #he’s been haunting my dreams #I’ve been so nervous to go see where he died he’s been entering my very lucid dreams #He’s genuinely scary #don’t like him currently #doesn’t mean he’s not my baby girl still #just #that’s he’s fucking terrifying #Mf been standing over me #(i have really bad anxiety and it makes me hallucinate when I’m stressed) #Apr. 1 #2024 #Apr. 2024 #this also slightly feels like the Thomas Jeffferson Miku binder post and I’m really fucking nervous about posting this. #just because of that #I just want to make refs for characters I like and chatter about #Queued post!

[sarcasticsra]

I’m obsessed with this game a normal amount

#bg3 #baldur’s gate 3 #phone wallpaper #I mean normal for me certainly #please ignore the 9000+ unread emails #lord knows I do #that number is wrong anyway #that inbox has over 100k unread emails #I don’t think it can display a number that high? #gale of waterdeep #halsin #astarion #bg3 tav #niamh #it means ‘bright’ and ‘radiant’ and she has 1 level of light cleric #she is also a sorcerer with a brass dragon ancestor #so her elemental affinity is fire #and brass dragons are said to be very gregarious and love to talk #they prefer talking over combat #the number of fights she has skipped altogether thanks to high persuasion… #yeah that’s right I’ve got lore and shit #I’m exactly that kind of dweeb

[r0semultiverse]

A message to the recent & future transgender pick-mes.

If you’re a trans pick-me (no matter where you align with gender) there’s a special place in Hell just for you & I don’t even believe in Hell. Having trauma isn’t excusing your actions of going out of your way to hurt other people actively. It explains that it comes from a place of hurt potentially or you’re just turning into a rage-bait influencer because it makes you money. Either way you come after trans people who don’t do being trans exactly like you so they “aren’t really trans.” You get a taste of the right-wing rage-bait money pot & you wanna keep going because money & maybe some weird part of you thinks this will save you from transphobic attacks? Honey, we’re all just fags to them no matter how we look or act. Even if you’re a cis person not following the norm or unaware of the politics of it all, you’re still just a faggot to them who they will eventually want to snuff out. I’m saying this as a tranny fag just to be clear! You can’t be playing these exclusion games & thinking it’s going to make you powerful! Even Milo Yionnapolis or whatever that fucker’s name was got dropped by the Trump Administration! They do not like us & they never will like us! Democrat, republican, whatever it is; if it’s capitalist, it doesn’t like us! No matter how much you lick those boots, it’ll do you no good. You’re a faggot/tranny just like me & the rest of us, that’s how these suits see it & always will see it no matter how much you try to prove “I’m one of the good ones.” They aren’t going to save you, we’re all on the chopping block to them no matter what our politics are. These government folks don’t see any of us as “one of the good ones.” Get over yourself, grow the fuck up, and stand side-by-side with your transsexual siblings! All we have is each other, these cis people aren’t shit! 💜 Down with cis! 💜

#if you don’t know what a pick-me is read the post and or look it up #I’m not going to name names because I’m not a pick me bich with a big following #& unlike the money making influencers I don’t have the luxury of people demanding my account be brought back on other sites #hate that word ‘influencer’ but it serves the purpose of this topic in particular #this goes out to certain Kellys & Bucks & Kalvins & all the other sniveling whiny irrelevant pick-mes who play the I got mine so screw you #card & betray the very people who supported them & for being a traitor to their wider community of trans siblings #imagine wanting to be a bitter angry obnoxious influencer until you eventually pass away; that is honestly a skill issue #grow some compassion & learn to love the people & things around you; that’ll do you much better than a life of pointless performativity #I think we should bring back the phrase #down with cis #& I mean that genuinely #these self hating trans circles much like the people crusading after trans people will only eat themselves & each other alive #you’re better off supporting & sticking by your trans siblings; yes even the ones who you think do gender weird or have neopronouns #get over yourselves please; neopronouns aren’t even probably new tbh but this isn’t a history post #mine #op #trans #transgender #nonbinary #enby #tw slur #tw slurs #cw slurs #slurs tw #tw t slur #tw f slur #f slur #t slur #slurs cw

[aptericia]

maybe this a strange thing to get hung up on but like. I can’t be the only one who subconsciously texts my friends a bit more professionally after writing a long email to my professor. Or whose internal monologue temporarily changes to sound like that YouTuber I just binged for 3 hours. Or who acts a little more excited and dramatic after watching an action movie. It’s normal to pick up patterns from other people and situations, right?? Why do my friends act so surpised when I start acting more like them, or tell me I “shouldn’t change who I am”? Like buddy. In NO social interaction am I presenting the Real Me. And besides that, you’re an important part of my life—why would it be so weird to be influenced by you? I don’t like being thought of as Weird or Not Genuine just because I do something differently from your previous expectations of me.

#personal #tbh most of the comments I get abt this are observations (like “when did you pick up that phrase??”) not judgy #but what really got me into this line of thinking was a comment from a friend about a year-ish ago? #she told me “you act so weird when you’re around [mutual friend of ours]. It’s like your whole personality changes.” #and I said “haha yeah well you two are pretty different from each other and I guess I tend to subconsciously act like the people I’m around #and she was like “yeah ik what you mean. I try not to do that” #which now that I write it… she technically said nothing about me #anyway I just. idk. so much of my comfort in social situations stems from being able to act like a part of the community #which I assumed meant act similar to them. but after that exchange it felt like it was more about what they already expected of me #which is absolutely terrifying because I can’t read their minds and CANNOT KNOW what expectations they have #I should probably get over that convo from a year ago like ik most people don’t think that way #but it really worsened my anxiety #anyway thx for reading now please forget I ever posted this #ramblings

[paper-lilypie]

okay I just finished reading Chapter Six of @bamsara’s Solar Lunacy and I realized something that, if Bam does in fact address later, will absolutely break my heart once I read it

Quick spoilers for Chapter Six below

———————

The entire first half of the story is set before the events of the Security Breach game go down and Chapter Six has now established that Moon had most likely been suffering gradual damage starting at least two years prior (from what they could tell from the available security footage). This means that all triggered responses and agitated behavior stem from this one thing: this “glitch” as the protagonist calls it.

We know that both Sun and Moon were gravely affected by it (both psychologically and on a real world basis: Sun’s anxiety and pressure on keeping both close relationships as well as the company’s bad rep on the downlow, and Moon both lost his position as Naptime Attendant and lives with the guilt(???) of murdering/injuring human beings). We know they both wanted to keep the protagonist in the dark about it because they’re their “favorite friend.” They care about them.

Which means once the Night of the Game comes around, not only will Sun and Moon be subjected to being controlled and manipulated into becoming hostile monsters AGAIN, they’ll be forced to relive their trauma through seeking to hurt Gregory AND the Protagonist.

This time, the one person they care about the most will be trapped in a cage with them and bear witness to their absolute worst— being hunted down with the intent to kill— and neither Sun nor Moon will have the power to stop it.

#fnaf #solar lunacy #sun x reader #moon x reader #something something reliving trauma breaking resolve and agonizing over history repeating itself and the inability to control it #something something you believed in me and changed me and now I’m under the control of someone that will use my hands to hurt you #something something you mean to much to me and I couldn’t bear with the grief if I lost myself to them and hurt you #basically angst galore babyyyyyyyyyy #I think Bam already insinuated that Moon will be able to (somewhat) snap out of it thanks to Reader BUT!! not quite #bam I put my heart in your hands please don’t hurt us (but also please do) #chapter six was amazing #the tension the lack of breathing space the pure emotional turmoil #loved it all

[pillowmoment]

edited from my Instagram story:

Was crying earlier because Our universe is so beautiful and that’s it that was the only reason.

I mean how can you look at a place where Saturn is just fucking there and not be absolutely in awe and on your knees and in tears? It’s so much less mundane than people act like it is. It’s not “nothing special” it’s possibly the most special thing we have. Our entire universe is so special.

Our existence is hinging upon thousands of perfect little coincidences. It’s so much more beautiful to believe it all just worked out that way. Explaining it away with a higher power undermines how fucking fantastical it is that we are alive today in such a breathtaking and beautiful reality.

We are so small and yet just as complex as the world surrounding us if not more. We are so small and insignificant and yet we are aware. The Universe doesn’t care about us but we care so much about it. We took the stars in the sky, stitched them together, and named them after what we held dear. We named the planets around us after figures of legend. We wished on stars and wrote poems about the moon. We are so fascinated by events that happen all the time, but it only seems like once in a while for us. The things that happen in your everyday life are so far from uninteresting. YOU are so far from uninteresting.

There is no reason for anything to be here at all and yet it is. It wasn’t made for anybody. But it’s here all the same. Can you really look up at the full moon and not feel some kind of emotion? The universe is so full of love for nobody in particular. And yet now it’s just something mundane. The stars at night are there every night, so why bother looking at them? What a terrible mindset. Everything you look at was made with love even if it wasn’t manufactured. We don’t have to have an all loving god to be surrounded by the love that fills every crack and corner of our universe. This is all we have. We should appreciate it even if it can’t do the same. Humans are so spoiled. Look around for once. There is nothing in this world you should be calling mundane.

#pillow activities #I love the world. The world means a lot to me #Saturn is my favorite planet. It’s just as important to me as all the people I love are #Does this mean anything to anyone? Does anyone feel as deeply about reality as I do #Humans are not evil humans are not doomed. Humans are just oblivious #We don’t know everything. Bad people are still bad people nothing excuses that and nothing ever will but they don’t represent us #Our ignorance doesn’t represent us #YES we should try and be better. Always. But we are not perfect #We are just what Earth spat out after boiling a soup for years and years. That’s all life is #That being said be mindful that our planet is very fragile. Be nice to her. #What is this kind of writing. Does anybody know #Anyways please reblog as always. Reblogs over likes

[vacantgodling]

i think something that will (hopefully) be freeing with this fucking name change finally finally being REAL is that hopefully i can stop feeling weird whenever i see one of my mutuals ocs around cuz my deadname is the same as that ocs name 💀💀

#like no offense to that mutual but i have that character blocked bc eughhhhhh #it’s gonna be some time before i can fully get over it #but like when i say my dead name is the name everyone picks if they want to have a character have some whimsey #i am Not joking lmao #i can’t tell you how many people thought i was a white girl before they met me bc of my name #hell on earth #one of my friends told me that in hs and i was like if i didn’t love you i would jump you tf you mean #N E WAY #here’s to hoping i can stop being weird about that name forever #i’m not saying which mutual nor the character name for obvs reasons but #please don’t try and guess either LMAO #about renjamin

[myhyperfixationisback]

hey. what the fuck is up with Ratchet and Clank merch

#ratchet and clank #I was like ‘I have literally three pieces of merch of R&C despite it being my special interest since elementary school I should fix that’ #*goes online* the fucking horrors #what do you MEAN everything is at least $100 dollars or more??? excuse me??? #the employee exclusive one is almost always over a thousand dollars. y’all see the one priced like a small car right. #the fucking PLUSHIES ARE A HUNDRED DOLLARS??? #why. #the TINY FUCKING PIN IS $90???? #btw the three pieces I have are the Funko Pops (I am not a huge Funko Pop person but I saw them release and pre-ordered them for my b-day) #and then the Ratchet and Clank art book. that is all #I have all of the games but like. that’s not /merch/ per se it’s the actual series content #actually I take it back I no longer have all the games bc I’m missing the very first game in physical copy + the PSP games + the PS4-5 ones #and I am the most fucking rabid Ratchet and Clank fan. I am autism insane about it. and I don’t have ANYTHING #do you see how much of a tragedy this is. do you understand how damaging this is to me every single day #that I do not have a Clank plushie to hold. a Ratchet plushie to keep him company. and an Alister Azimuth action figure to abuse. #my goal is to make that video essay I’ve had in my brain for years and make Insomniac feel so seen that they gift me something. #bc of the heartfelt please of a disabled poor person that has loved their series so much all their life #I’m going to punch through a steel wall