#do you see how much of a tragedy this is. do you understand how damaging this is to me every single day | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mhsdatgo · 1 month

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Alicent crowing aegon exposing her children to more risk than just letting rhaenyra became queen. Rhaenyra wanted that throne, there is no way she would have accepted those "terms", and alicent is 100% aware of this in the book and in the show as well. By crowning aegon she start a war and put her children DIRECTLY on the battlefield against people who were more experienced in war like daemon or ride dragon longer like rhaenyra and rhaenys amd consequently may control their dragon better. If you didn't want to consider a crash between two or more dragons, even if they were on a dragon against an army the danger is very high, look at rhaenys the conqueror or aemon the first son of jaehaerys, they were on dragon's back and yet both of them were killed by arrow. Not to mention that both in the book and in the show alicent spend years creating animosity with rhaenyra, If you TRULY believe that someone may hurt your children you do everything you can to maintain at least a civil relationship, and not constantly provoke them and then cry about how your children may be hurt by your stupidity. Because that what alicent has done in the book starting hating rhaenyra, pray viserys to name Aegon as heir and constantly share gossip to damage rhaenyra's image (with a 10 years old girl, meanwhile Alicent was a GROWN woman), and in the show the situation is not different. The truth is that alicent’s action were based on her own ambitious in the book and on her resentment to rhaenyra in the show, but NEVER in the interest of her children. In fact aegon never wanted to be king, he was forced by her and has to endure all the consequences while watching all of his family die

Ladies and gentlemen, here we have someone who quite literally didn't get a single thing about Fire and Blood.

See, anons like these are what makes my blood boil at the writers of HotD for making Rhaenyra appear like a saint which not only made most of the decisions she'll take from this moment onward out of (show) character (as far as character building and development goes) but also fucking boring.

I'm always one to listen to different points of view and interpretations of books as complicated as these, but something that has always bugged me is the way this fandom CANNOT DIGEST the type of tragedy that is just inevitable.

It was never about picking sides, it was never about sexism, it was always about kin torn apart by kin and their own flaws dragging them down. There was no way to ever avoid that and I cannot have a proper discussion about F&B with anyone who doesn't understand this first.

Moreover, just what do you think Alicent should've done? Shut up, be quiet, sit still and look pretty while Daemon's spies turned her children into bloody shreds? Allow them to be assassinated because of the threat they pose to Rhaenyra's claim? Does everything revolve around her? Is she some kind of Twilight Sparkle?

Let me tell you this: no woman would willingly step back and leave their children to their own devices when their own lives pose a threat to someone else's interests.

I have respect for Rhaenyra and her will to fight for what she believed was her birthright (although let's be honest, it was a feeling born out of nothing but the entitlement of a spoiled brat, it turned into a war of parents after one of each faction's children was killed) but I also have so much more respect for Alicent and her courage to bare teeth and claws and plan a coup to be allowed the upper hand and more possibilities of looking after her children if one of them is ruling. It's not "stupidity" it's awareness. And acting according to it.

It's true that Alicent has her own ambitions, but to say that they started growing in her when she was nothing but an 18 year old girl marrying a 30 year old man... Do you hear yourself? That's a girl getting graduated from high school. Oh shiver me timbers, we're scared of young adults here.

Everyone likes and loves and adores to talk about the way ALICENT was having beef with Rhaenyra as a 10 year old but nevermind Rhaenyra placing a bounty on two toddlers and one of them getting ripped apart because of it. Nevermind her refusing that bastard Corlys' advice to take Daeron as a hostage and demanding that he be killed instead. (Because this bitch was the #1 threat to her rule, but y'all aren't ready for that conversation)

She never "prayed" for Aegon to be named as heir, what she DID pray for was for him and Rhaenyra to be betrothed to one another. I hate Rhaegon personally, (no hate to any Rhaegon stan that reads this ♥️) but honestly this is the only marriage that could've MAYBE prevented the Dance. It started because there were two claimants to the throne. Just marry them to each other and the issue was solved. Both of them get crowned, no Dance, peace.

But noooooo, Viserys, the incompetent twat, as always had to act like an incompetent twat and be like "lol but they don't get along". IT WAS HIM WHO DOOMED HIS CHILDREN, EACH AND EVERY ONE OF HIS SONS AND DAUGHTERS. ALL. OF. THEM.

Everyone else acted as a consequence to the cluterfuck that the sick old man created. Namely, chaos. What else did you expect?

#hotd #house of the dragon #pro alicent hightower #pro team green #anti rhaenyra stans #anti team black #anti viserys i targaryen

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jinwoosungs · 7 months

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{ 106 }

feel again.

warnings: unedited, spoilers for lies of p, self indulgent. thank you to @kkyos for letting me know the important plot details pertaining to the king of puppets 🔥

romeo - king of puppets - x fem.reader

{ my heart is numb | but with you, i feel again. }

the king of puppets was left severely damaged after his battle with geppetto's puppet...

the one who simply went by p;

the one who carries carlo's memories within his mechanical heart;

the one romeo tried so desperately to warn about-

yet it was all for naught.

the automaton with the chestnut hair and cold, blue eyes never listened nor believed a single word romeo had told him.

so the king of puppets thought if p wouldn't heed his warnings about geppetto's true intentions, then he might as well kill him himself.

but he wasn't expecting p to be so powerful, and it would be fair to say that romeo had severely underestimated him. p seemed to cut him down with ease. for a mere puppet, romeo had to admit how powerful p's conviction was when it came to their battle. the puppet romeo had been controlling, appearing every bit like the true king of puppets, suffered a great blow that caused an explosion.

it left romeo greatly damaged beyond compare, with half of his face melted in the process. so instead of relying on his facade as the king of puppets, he knew he had to fight p in his true form, doing all he could to defeat geppetto's creation.

yet each time p's blade met with romeo's metallic body, he knew that he didn't stand a chance. if romeo wished to survive, he would have to willingly fall and allow geppetto's wishes to come true.

"maybe this is what freedom feels like. thanks, carlo."

he thinks back to his dear friend and the tragedy of his death, and although romeo understood geppetto's desire see him again, he didn't think it was right nor fair to take away p's life in exchange.

yet each time romeo tried to convey these feelings, p displayed no signs of understanding a single word romeo had said, piercing through his shoulder with a thick blade as romeo slumped forward, landing with his face against the velvet floors of the theater. he waits and hears the faint sounds of a conversation going on... of him congratulating p on his defeat.

romeo could feel the thick oil seep through the openings of his armor, and an overwhelming sensation coursing through his form. every part of his body had been slashed by p's weapon, leaving a permanent mark that he was uncertain he could ever recover from.

so, he lays in waiting, waiting for their presence to disappear, waiting for the scent of oil and rust to dampen down just so he can move once more.

romeo was uncertain how much time had passed, but when he could hear the sounds of rain pounding against the cobblestone streets, he shuts his eyes and basks in the refreshing scent for the briefest of moments.

move, you'll die here if they come back.

with his fists clenched, he slowly stands back to his full height, his stature and gait unsteady due to how much damage he had taken in the fight. he allows his dirty blond hair to fall across his face, covering his damaged eye, now shining a bright red instead of its usual onyx grey.

he takes steady movements, coming out of the opera house as the rain washes over him. strange, gasping noises were heard coming from his parted lips, his movements a slow, crawling pace. the downpour was getting stronger, creating puddles against the streets of krat.

as the rain dampens his locks of hair, romeo was forced to look at the damage he had sustained. his hair was torn in as the left side of his face was completely melted off, revealing a bright red iris settled in the middle of a wide expanse of black. his hands tremble, ready to touch against the part of his face that made him a monster when a sudden gasp was heard.

his ears could detect the sound, facing the sound as his eyes met with a young woman's-

met with your gaze.

the umbrella that was held in your hand drops at the mere sight of him, and even when his mind seemed to short circuit at the fact that someone had seen him in such a vulnerable state, he couldn't deny that you were beautiful.

from the way your hair framed at your face, to the brightness of your eyes and the curve of your lips...despite how utterly long it had been since he was a human, he remembers what it feels like to cherish the beauty in things that he admired-

and you were by far the most beautiful sight he had ever seen in a long time.

he watches you, as if drawn to you, like your presence was pulling him towards you. his hands reach out to you, and he was shocked to find that you didn't flinch away from him. his fingertips were just centimeters away from gracing your cheeks when a flash of lightning cuts through him, illuminating his features once more as he saw his reflection within the puddles.

with a low, anguished cry, romeo was forced to back away from you, turning away as he allowed his legs to carry him away. just what was he thinking? he was a monster, and you were so beautiful- reminding him of all the fairies and princesses he had read about in those fairytales.

you would be disgusted with him, regardless of how much he was drawn to you.

but when he feels a sudden pull against his wrist, stopping him from going any further, romeo turns back to see you clinging to him. "wait, please, don't go...!"

it was strange, but he could feel your hands against his cold, metallic body, transferring your warmth into him as yet another overwhelming emotion fills him.

instead of feeling pain surrounding his body, he felt something pierce into his chest, the place where his own mechanical heart lay as it ached at the sight of your proximity, filling him with a desire to reach out his hand to brush back at your hair. he allows his fingertips to grace your features for a brief second before his vision turns completely black, hearing your voice echoing as he succumbs to his injuries.

{ ... }

the moment he awakens, he was aware of the fire burning brightly from in front of him.

now in a panicked state, romeo sits up, ready to attack had it not been for the fact that you were currently settled before the blazing fire. when his eyes adjust to his surroundings, he was fully aware of how he was safely tucked into a small bed with a comforting fire remaining ablaze within the fireplace.

"ah, it's nice to see that you're awake. you had me worried there." romeo remains silent, simply watching you while admiring the sound your voice. it was hard to explain, but he felt a sense of tranquility each time you spoke to him.

you tell him your name as you were now pacing the room, with your eyes straying to him every so often, "although you are so much taller than me, i was determined to carry you back with me to my home. i managed to clean you, getting rid of all that rust and oil to the best of my abilities before laying you in my bed."

when you finished speaking, you appeared sheepish then, scratching the back of your head while giving him a tiny smile. "i was really afraid that you wouldn't open your eyes, but i'm so happy that you did."

your sudden kindness makes romeo feel a tightness in his chest, making him look away from you. "what made you wish to help a monster like me?"

the cold edge heard in his voice was enough to make you stop in your tracks, ceasing your pacing around the room when romeo continues, "i'm part of the automatons that went rogue. if i so desired, i could kill you irregardless of your humanity."

"but you were hurt, and i could not leave you, even if you can kill me."

you admit to him without hesitation, making romeo face you once more. when he held your gaze, he saw no fear in your eyes, watching you as you stepped closer to him. you never once looked away from him, settling yourself on the bed with him.

no words were spoken, and you find yourself leaning closer to him. romeo flinches away from you, seeing your hands reaching out to him. his actions make you halt for a moment, but you end up pushing through anyways and allow the palm of your hand to caress at his cheek.

with a gentleness romeo had never felt before, he feels the way your hands frame at his face. despite how much romeo held a deep sense of self loathing for what had become of him and his face, he could not bring himself to hurt you by pushing you away. for some odd reason, he just knew that you meant no harm, and the thought of hurting you made his chest display this strange ache again.

"don't be afraid of me...and don't pull away." your voice was as soft and sweet as a lullaby, tracing at each and every part of his features. from his cold, full lips to his pale skin and the few freckles that decorate it. when he feels your fingertips touch at the melted portion of his face, he found himself leaning in to your touch.

"tell me, what is your name?"

as if caught under your spell, romeo closes his eyes, basking in your closeness as he relinquishes his name to you.

"romeo."

he figured that would be the farthest extent of your touches, yet when your face suddenly leans forward and he could feel the sensation of your lips against his ruined features, romeo felt his chest explode yet again with an unknown, overwhelming sensation-

he had read about this action in books before, what you had given him was a kiss, and a kiss was always meant to be shared between those who shared a particular fondness for each other-

shared between those who loved each other.

yet romeo found that he did not dislike your kiss, not even in the slightest.

you keep your lips pressed against his cheek for a few more beats before pulling away to whisper, "i know you won't hurt me, because i won't ever hurt you..."

you meet his gaze once more, smiling brightly at him when you admit, "you are perfect...and beautiful to me."

with your soft kindness and beauty filling him, romeo found himself looking at you with a sense of longing, the once still mechanical heart that was locked in his chest suddenly feeling as though it was coming to life for the first time in years.

romeo acts on this strange desire, hands placing themselves on your neck as he brings you even closer to him, copying your prior movements when he places his own, cold lips against the heated skin of your forehead, allowing them to warm him when he whispers to you,

"with you, i feel again."

a.n. - i am so in love with romeo. after my friend had revealed him to me in a leak, and i could hear what he sounded like, i am so, utterly in love with him. this is so self indulgent and i am soooo sorry.

all stories are written by rei; reposts, translations, and plagiarism are not allowed.

#king of puppets x reader #romeo x reader #lies of p x reader #lies of p x you #.stories

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ravennaortiz · 4 months

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Could I get 3 and 14 with Happy, please? I think he deserves someone to protect him for a change 💜 whether he likes it or not. Maybe angsty with a happy ending?

P.S. I love your works. I am always happy to see your posts! I haven't even watched Mayans yet (I don't know if I will. I got spoiled about what happens to Happy and I don't know if I can take it. He's my favorite.) but I still read the stories anyway. Keep up the awesomeness I will be around!

Thank you so much for your kind words! That means so much to me!

Oh no! I'm sorry that it was spoiled for you! Why don't we serve a little justice for Happy while we force him to let us protect him!

Prompt 3 Why did you save me & Prompt 14 Please, be okay. *I am so happy you paired these together!!!!*

The last few days had been a blur. You looked and felt like a zombie as you sat vigil next to the hospital bed of the only man you had ever truly loved. You blinked rapidly as the burning sensation of tears threatened to spill forth once more. Regret crushed you like waves in the ocean as you thought on how you had kept him a the distance. Looking over his prone body with tubes and lines going here and there and bruises that painted his skin you bowed your head as the tears trickled down. Please, be okay, you silently prayed.

You had never been very religious and always shook your head and rolled your eyes whenever you you heard or saw "thoughts and prayers" in the face of immense tragedy. You had become jaded over the years working in a Level 1 trauma hospital in a city riddled with violence. What does a prayer do to repair the damage done by bullets that ripped through the brain and body? How does a thought help revive the baby you are fruitlessly performing CPR on after it was abused for the only crime of crying?

A hand on your shoulder had you jumping and grabbing for your pistol. "Easy Lass" soother Chibs as he put his hands up. "Just coming to check in and see if I can get you to go home and get some rest" he continued as he sat in the empty chair on Happy's other side. "I wanna be here when he wakes up" you stated firmly as you wiped your tears away. Chibs nodded in understanding and the two of you sat silently each lost in your own thoughts.

"Did you use your own gun?" asked Chibs quietly as he kept his eyes glued to Happys face. You tensed slightly. You knew it was only a matter of time before word of the two dead Mayans made it back to Charming. "Yes" you replied looking down at the hands that had went from saving lives to taking lives so easily. You hadn't even thought of the danger you would be in nor did you care. They had hurt your Happy and you couldn't let them live. Chibs sighed as he rubbed his face. "Tig and I will take care of it going forward" he stated firmly waiting for you to nod before looking back to Happy.

*1 week later*

"Lay back down" you scolded for the hundredth time as you gently pushed Happy back onto the couch. The scowl on his face would have most people melting into a puddle but you just simply crossed your arms. "You're not a nice nurse. Kind of shitty to be honest" muttered Happy as he pulled the blanket back up pouting slightly. "Maybe don't be a shitty patient and I'd be a better nurse" you snapped back with a smirk as you handed him a glass of water and his medication.

Happy rolled his eyes to hide his smile. Once he took his medicine he grabbed your hand as you went to take the glass from him. "Why did you save me? I'm a killer, what happened to me was deserved" he questioned his eyes piercing your soul. "Because I'm in love with you" you replied with a gentle smile. "You deserve to be saved forever" you added before leaning down and kissing him.

Want more Happy? Click Here

Want to request a story? Click here

#sons of anarchy #ravennasmasterlist #soa fanfiction #soa fanfic #ravennasrequest #soa happy #happy lowman #happy lowman fanfic #happy lowman x reader #happy lowman fanfiction

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kogratorm · 11 months

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Okay, listen.

We are all deeply saddened by the situation lurking over our cubitos, but let me explain why Q!Roier's reaction is understandable and genuine. Despite his hurt caused by Q!Cellbit, I don't believe he truly meant what he said.

From a realistic standpoint, it's completely natural and not at all unreasonable to feel angry if someone from your family (especially someone you're close to) is murdered. EVEN WORSE, BY YOUR GROOM. The situation itself is incredibly absurd and it's completely valid for Q!Roier to feel the way he does as a real person.

We all joked that Q!Roier would be his fiancé’s apologist, but it's valid and real that he didn't. However, when he said "Te odio" (I hate you) in that moment, he did mean it, but not in the way everyone is interpreting it.

He hates that Q!Cellbit initially lied, whether out of fear or not.

He hates the feeling of being betrayed by Q!Cellbit, someone he placed trust in, much like he did with his friends (Q!Spreen, Q!Missa, and even Q!Quackity), as well as Cucurucho.

He hates that the story is being retold.

He hates being the one who's traumatized every time; he has experienced it multiple times, so it's only natural for him to react defensively, saying things without thinking, to protect himself.

I would even dare to say that the presence of Q!Quackity might have triggered memories of the past situation with Q!Spreen, regardless of whether Q!Quackity was actually trying to help them this time.

Does he hate Q!Cellbit?

Perhaps. Right now, he definitely hates him. He told Richarlyson that if he were to send an elegant (vent) mail, he would only say hurtful things. Because he IS in fact hurt, and that IS valid.

However, the real "hate" here is directed towards the pain he is once again enduring.

Q!Roier is so traumatized that he's already accepting Q!Cellbit as just like the others, not wanting to hear anything he has to say. To be fair, it's difficult to listen to someone who has taken the life of someone you cared about.

Unlike the others, Q!Cellbit told the truth and sincerely apologized right away when he found the courage to do so, despite being advised otherwise.

He was afraid, but he still spoke the truth.

He did it because he didn't want their marriage to be built on a lie, not when it was already heading in that direction.

If only Q!Roier knew how abnormal it is for Q!Cellbit to tell the truth and how much he would have preferred to lie his way out of it.

But he didn’t.

Q!Cellbit choose to not hold on that lie. He is fully aware that his actions were unforgivable. He doesn't expect forgiveness from Q!Roier.

bicrysis @ Twitter:

They love each other deeply, they are hurt by the mistakes they made and the damage it brought, but the love is still there. Just because Q!Roier isn't as much of a hopeless romantic as Q!Cellbit doesn't mean his feelings are any less valid. It doesn't mean that he didn't love him and doesn't continue to love him.

It is exactly because of this enduring love that the hurt runs so deep.

The depth of their love intensifies the impact of the current circumstances, making it all the more heart-wrenching. The realization that someone Q!Roier cared for, someone he entrusted with his heart after everything he went through, could commit such a grievous act... It cuts deeply into Q!Roier's soul.

But, the same love that hurts so much, might guide them through the turmoil, offering a chance for forgiveness, understanding, and ultimately, redemption.

In the midst of this tragedy, the strength of their love remains an anchor, a glimmer of hope that refuses to be extinguished. It is a testament to their resilience and the depth of their bond.

And that gives me hope. I can, indeed, see hope in that.

But only after everything that needs to be hurt is hurt.

And everything that needs to be healed, is healed.

[...] Love can be good, it can be bad, it can be hurtful, it can be joyful. Love is a compilation of every feeling a human is going to feel in their life.

#qsmp #qsmp cellbit #qsmp roier #guapoduo #q!cellbit #q!roier #TLDR; I'm just trying to overanalyze something that hurt me deeply today.#Was looking to have a cita stream and got a depression stream oopsie /nsrs #/unless.........

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theerurishipper · 16 days

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how would a redemption arc work for azula? because like you said, azula isn't even close to the realization that she was wrong. what kind of major event would it take for azula to realize her genocidal ideals were wrong? how would zuko react to her change? because I dont want zuko to accept it right away for obvious reasons.

I'm not exactly sure how a redemption arc would work for Azula. I much prefer her the way she is in the show, a tragedy to illustrate how being abused can sometimes turn you into an abuser yourself. If she were to have a redemption arc, it should be away from anyone' influence. Away from Ozai, because obviously, and away from Zuko as well. I think it would be good way to illustrate how a victim does not have to help their abuser, and it would give Azula the opportunity to find herself without exacerbating her inferiority complex when it comes to Zuko. I feel like if he was always around to help her, she'd learn nothing about personal responsibility. Even Iroh didn't help Zuko when it really came down to it, and Iroh wasn't even Zuko's victim in the way that Zuko is Azula's. But anyway, I'll give it a go.

Maybe I'd have Azula travel around the world, learning more perspectives kind of like Zuko did. I do think it would be harder for her to do than it was for Zuko, but I think being forced to confront the world and every perception of it that she's had would help her on the road to becoming a better person. The same way Zuko did, she should go on a journey by herself, having to struggle to find food and shelter, struggling to get by. She once thought she was so capable, so powerful, but she's struggling. She put all her value into being the best firebender, a prodigy, a raw talent that she was born with, the divine right, but she can't see any of that now. Her natural firebending isn't coming to her aid here. It doesn't bring her food, it doesn't bring her shelter, and it doesn't bring her any help. She's so hungry and tired... she can't even firebend that well at all, can't conjure up her flames as strong as they used to be.

It's almost as though her skill, her expertise in fighting with fire... isn't as important or useful as she thought. It doesn't matter as much as she thought it would. It leads to her needing to reevaluate everything she knows, because if what she believed was most important really isn't... then what is important? What makes her worthy, what makes her special?

And when she comes across people who are suffering the same way she is, instead of scoffing at them and dismissing their pain like she once would have, she sees herself in them, and she understands them. And she also begins to understand that her father, and she by extension, did this to them. It sits wrong with her, now that she knows what it feels like. She's already beginning to realize that maybe her divine right isn't all that she thought it was, but she clings onto it anyway, because it's the foundation of her worldview, and without it she has nothing.

Azula keeps on travelling, she meets more and more people. I think it should be the Earth Kingdom that she travels in most, because it's where she caused the most damage to the people, it's the place she wanted to burn to the ground, and now she's forced to travel there.

And then maybe, on her travels, she stays with a family one day, who let her in out of the goodness of their heart. She scoffs at them for being so weak, so naive, but she's tired and hungry and has nowhere else to go. While she's staying there, she happens upon a scene where one of their kids is getting hugged by their mother, getting a kiss on their forehead or something, and she can't help but remember her mother doing that to her, and she can't help but remember that her father never did. And her mother was weak, and her father was is powerful, but... the kid looks so happy. And so was she, back then, when her mother showed her she loved her. But she didn't love Azula. She didn't.

But did she? Could it be that she really did love her?

Azula runs away from them in the middle of the night.

Because sure, it's a worthless display of affection, so far removed from power and fear and everything her father taught her to be, everything she strove to emulate. And they're just Earth Kingdom peasants, after all, what would they know about who she is and what she's destined for? But she can't help but think about the joy in that child's eyes, the loving way his mother looked at him, like how her mother used to look at her, how she used to feel so special when her mother stroked her hair and gave her a kiss on her forehead. Even Azula can't mistake what the look in that mother's eyes were. And if it reminds her of her mother... was her father wrong? And if he were wrong about that... what else could he have been wrong about? Her, raw talent, her divine right which she's already questioning?

And those people... they had no power. They had no money, no glory, no superior bending ability, but... they were so happy. And as long as she can remember, her family wasn't. Of course, maybe that was Zuko's fault for being so weak, her mother's fault for being so weak, her uncle's fault for being so weak... but this family has nothing, nothing like she did, and they're still so loving, so happy. And she still can't shake her faith in her father entirely (though it already began, back during Sozin's Comet), but... maybe, just maybe, somewhere deep in her heart, she's forced to admit that maybe she would liked this a lot better. Her father never did this... but maybe he should have.

She keeps travelling. Some people help her, some turn her away. She understands both of them. She would turn away anyone who came to her for help. They never were worth her time. But now she's on the other side, the one in need of help. And the people who help her, once she would have called the naive and weak and foolish, but they are the ones who help her stay alive, who she depends on. She's starting to realize who the better person is, between these two. When it comes down to just being a person, stripped of wealth and power, who it's better to be. Her father always said these things to her, and she believed it for the longest time. She did everything she could to be on his right side, to be like him, to be better than her brother... but ultimately, in her time of greatest need, none of it matters. What's really helping her is kindness, is compassion, the things she derided and scoffed at. In the fact of the harsh reality, she has to admit that her father is wrong. She can't deny it anymore.

Maybe she happens upon a refugee camp at some point, and she sees these people suffering, with nothing. She used to believe that weakness led to your own suffering, and that it would never happen to her. Zuko brought his fate upon himself, after all. Iroh lost his son because of his weakness. Her mother was sent away because she was too weak. But Azula sees these people, there people who have nothing because everything they had was burnt away. She would have blamed them too, but she's also spent so long feeling helpless, realizing that when it comes to the world outside the confines of her majestic royal palace filled with luxury and comfort, that not everyone has that kind of power, even her. Especially not her. And she knows, just as surely as she knows that she wanted the fire that destroyed their homes to be lit, she knows in the depths of her mind and heart that this is their fault. The fault of her father, and her own. Just like what happened to Zuko was her father's fault.

And they still help her, believing her to be one of them, someone who has been hurt by the Fire Nation like they have. And for the first time, she feels that she doesn't deserve their help. She doesn't deserve their kindness. She's horrified by the true reality of her actions and their consequences, horrified by what she's done.

And then maybe someone recognizes her. And then people are drawing weapons and trying to defend themselves. They all come together in hatred for her. In fear of her. It's what she's tried to achieve for so long, to subjugate these people, to rule them, to make everyone fear her. But she sees them come together, fearing her, and she only feels sick. There are children crying, somewhere, and for a second, she sees Zuko in his place, crying, half of his face burnt off-

She runs. She can't deal with this. Some people chase her, trying to take her down, because they're so afraid of her. She's never truly been confronted with such raw hatred before. She thinks of all the children, with burns on their skin, and thinks of Zuko, his face burning, and she thinks of how she had smiled. She thinks of her father, teaching her all sorts of falsehoods about power, and worthiness, and how she knew, she did, that it would only last as long as it pleased him. She thinks of that family, happy and loving, and how much better it seemed compared to her own family. She thinks about how so many other families have been the same way. She thinks about how even the people in this camp, who are so hurt and powerless, were ready to fight her to protect their family.

She thinks about her mother, who was the one who really loved her. Realizing her father was wrong also brings about the realization that she was wrong about her mother. That her mother was trying to protect her. From her father. The man who would burn the face of his son, all because he wouldn't fight his father. Who treated Zuko like he was worth nothing because he couldn't bend as well as her. Who treated her like she was worth something only because she could bend her fire better, the same bending ability that she's realized is ultimately meaningless, which doesn't matter when it comes down to the realest parts of the world. Who fed her lies and treated her like a tool, because he saw her as a weapon, not a daughter. He never looked at her the way her mother did. With love. He just wanted to use her, and he cast her away when he was done with her. Just like he did with Zuko. She wasn't special, she wasn't born lucky, she was just more convenient, and he used her and discarded her like a cheap toy.

And she has to admit, that fear isn't the answer. She's seen people now, people who are more afraid of her than anyone has ever been before. They should be running away. But they don't. She thinks about these people, who she thought were weak, but really, they are stronger than her, because even in the face of fear, they fight. Because they have love, and that's always been more powerful. Just like Zuko. Like Mai and Ty Lee.

Her mother wouldn't have done what her father did. She would have helped Azula. She tried so hard to. Her brother tried too, as she fought him and relished in his pain. So did her uncle, while she spurned him and wished him dead. So did these people, even though she wanted to burn them to the ground not so long ago. Her father was well on his way to do it. Burn down their homes, kill these people, some of whom are her age too. And she suggested it, she wanted to be by his side, like it was some game, some glorious quest.

Her father is a monster. So is she. She's always laughed it off, believing her mother thought that about her, and trying to pretend it didn't matter. But it does. Now it does. She's always known all this, somewhere in the depths of her mind, her mother's teachings had left a mark, but she can no longer run from any of it anymore. It's the truth. She's a monster, and for the first time, she feels remorse. She can no longer hide behind her belief of superiority, of her divine right to rule. She feels guilt, the way she did on that day, before she lost everything she once thought mattered, when her mother looked at her and said I love you Azula. I do.

From then, she keeps travelling. She tries to avoid people. She doesn't dare face anyone, for fear of what rejection she might face, especially because she now knows she deserves it. She doesn't deserve their help or their support. Not these people, not Zuko or Mai or Ty Lee or her uncle or her mother. And as she's going on like this, she sees some people one day, shivering in the cold, trying to light a fire and failing. She's also cold, so she lights a fire. But the fire in her hand is blue, like ice, too hot, too much. So, for once, she stops focusing on making her flames the hottest they can be. The flame in her hand cools down, and now it's a warm yellow glow. And then she actually feels warm, not just on the outside but in her heart as well. And she looks at these people, and she knows how they feel. She knows what she'd want someone to do for her if she were in their place. So, she lights their fire with a flick of her wrist. They don't see who she is, they don't even notice her. For all they know, they managed to light it themselves. But they look so happy, so content, so warm. Because of the fire. And she didn't even use it to fight. Her fire is helping people, making them happy. Maybe it's not just good for fighting.

Just like her.

She knows in her heart that this is what her mother would have wanted. Her mother who was right all along. So, she goes on doing this, secretly helping people. Lighting their fires, their torches. It's small, but it clearly means a lot to people on cold days and nights. And they never notice her. But she's surprised to find that she doesn't need or want the attention anymore. Just the fact that she helped makes her feel the warmth she thought respect and power would get her.

And so, she doesn't just help with her fire. She tries to learn new ways to help. She tries to learn how to treat wounds, especially burns. And she finds so much more fulfillment in this simple work than she ever did in plotting against her brother and planning to burn down the Earth Kingdom. And it's not even just because of her mother's words anymore. Her mother was right. This is something she wants. She still struggles sometimes with doubts about if she's wrong now, still struggles with feelings of resentment and anger towards the people she knows don't deserve it. She still feels small when she thinks about her father, about what he'd think if he saw her like this, even though she's realizing he doesn't matter. But she's getting better. She feels better than she's ever felt.

And then she ends up in Ba Sing Se, and then Zuko is there. With Iroh. And the Avatar and his friends. Zuko spots her. She runs. Zuko chases her. She didn't mean to run into him, but he's coming after her. Zuko confesses that he was worried about her, that he's been looking for her. And she's shocked that he would, even after everything. Because even now, she can still see the wariness in his eyes, the slight nervousness in his posture, the way his friends stand tall behind him, making less of an effort to look concerned, even though they don't look completely antagonistic.

So Azula does the one thing she's always been running from, something she knows she has to do but has never been able to. Admit to her mistakes. Apologize. She still wants to run, but Zuko is here, he's been looking for her, and he's worried about her. She would have felt, and a part of her still feels, anger towards Zuko, still blames him unfairly. But she's grown to recognize it for what it is. And so, she says to him I'm sorry, the first time she's said the words and truly meant it. He looks shocked, but then smiles, and says I forgive you.

But she can see he doesn't, not really. She can see now, how much he loves her, how much wants her to get better, how much he appreciates her sincere apology. How much he wants to forgive her. But she can still see the doubt, the pain and fear in his eyes that she caused. She can see the resentment and the hurt. She's not blind to it anymore. So she says, no you don't. And when he steps forward, tells her to stay, Azula, I don't want to lose you, she tells him that it's best for the both of them if she leaves. And maybe one day, she'll come back, when she's become better, enough to truly begin to make up for what she's done to him, and he can truly forgive her. And he smiles, and says good luck.

So Azula goes off to do more good things and learn to heal herself and find her worth, and then they meet and can actually be a decently stable family again. Or not, YMMV.

Thank you for your ask!

#ATLA #Avatar: The Last Airbender #Avatar The Last Airbender #Zuko #Azula #Ursa #Ozai #Iroh #Mai #Ty Lee #ATLA Azula #ATLA Zuko #Asks #So yeah #This got longer than I thought #It just sorta got away from me

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moredancesmyraptheart · 2 years

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i think a big reason bo burnham is so popular with people of a younger age groups, especially gen z, is that the views he expresses surrounding social media and technology and how they're affecting the youths are some of the most sympathetic and nuanced i've ever really seen.

as a member of this kind of age group myself, most of the people i know have at least some level of hatred of social media and the way its taken over all of our lives. however, when people start talking about how terrible social media is for us, especially if they start fully blaming us or saying it's stopping us from forming any real connections, i find that most of us (me included) tend to get really defensive about it. and to me, that makes sense, what they're saying doesn't line up with our experiences.

these views are typically very black and white, and very rarely take into account the aspects of social media that those most affected by it find harmful, for instance, the way that the culture that has been established on the internet means a lot of people my age find it very easy to overshare but very difficult to be emotionally vulnerable in any way.

the ideas bo burnham conveys, however, are much more cognizant of the actual root of these problems. i think there are two main aspects of this: his discussion of how this generation's addiction to social media has essentially been manufactured, and his deeper understanding of what the problems with it actually are.

in contrast to the idea that's pretty widely pushed that young people are pretty solely to blame for all being glued to our phones, bo explores the way that being the first generation to grow up with technology having this kind of prevalence in our lives has affected us. for instance, in 'make happy' when he says "the arrogance is taught, or it was cultivated", or in that bridge of 'welcome to the internet', when he says "mummy let you use her ipad you were only two/and it did all the things we designed it to do", for me, at the very least, i felt a lot more seen by those lines than i ever really have in discussions about the harms of technology in the past. i think the fact that he doesn't entirely absolve young people of our responsibility for ourselves and our actions (e.g. the line in '30' about "your fucking phones are poisoning your minds [...] when you develop a dissociative mental disorder in your late 20s don't come crawling back to me") is what, to me, makes it an actually effective critique of social media, because the way he expresses these ideas is actually sympathetic to the problems we face, but it's still sort of saying 'ok, things are fucked for you guys, so what are you going to do about it'

similarly, when he talks about how social media has been harmful, i think it's more empathetic to the difficulties we face as a part of it. for instance, in my opinion, in 'welcome to the internet' the ideas he discusses of "a little bit of everything, all of the time" and "apathy's a tragedy and boredom is a crime" are much more significant aspects of the damage technology has done than a lot of the mainstream arguments against social media. for me, i know as a kid before i had super regular access to the internet, i hated being bored more than anything, but now that i'm a bit older and i can literally do or see anything i want at any time, i'm never truly bored anymore and i miss it so much. similarly, in 'make happy', bo's description of the way social media makes us "perform everything, to each other, all the time for no other reason" actually gets at the core of what has made this generation the way we are and why our relationship to social media is as fucked as it is. by actually discussing the issues that young people view as problems with social media, bo is able to make a truly effective and genuine critique of social media and gen z's relationship with it that has done more to inspire me to distance myself from social media than pretty much any other critique on the same topic

#fuck me i don't know how this got so long #didn't proofread this so it probably makes zero (0) sense #also yes i know i write too many run on sentences and use way too many commas #deal with it #hope this made ANY sense <3 #bo burnham #make happy #inside #comedy

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cloudyswritings · 4 months

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Vessel biology the 4th

I can do this all day(lying). This one is going to be shorter(probably lying). It’s the product if my late night brain(actually true)

Out of all of the vessels hatched there any very well have been a pure one. The tragedy is that such a being would genuinely have no mind to think and thus would never have even tried to reach the king or escape being crushed to death under their siblings.

Vessels get their oversized heads from their father. This might just be canon

Vessels varryingly have some internal organs, most of which are made of void but some of which are normal(for an wyrm-root hybrid abomination that is). The void ones can be reshaped if damaged, hence why THK impaling themselves during the fight doesn’t immediately kill them.

The mind of a vessel is evenly split between their shade and their shell. So every shade in the abyss corresponds to a broken-but not dead- vessel shell in the abyss. It’s also why Ghost can act independently as their shell to reclaim their shade.

THKs shade, and specifically their crack/scar, shows that shades can be damaged. I imagine this is a symptom of immense exposure to light but also psychological distress.

Shades also might not be entirely void, mostly void sure, but not entirely. This comes down to their eyes, specifically that their eyes cast a pale light like their parents. I imagine if you painstakingly removed all of a shades void you’d be left with the pale, underdeveloped soul of a baby god.

The void doesn’t really consume things it takes in so much as holds them. The only things that do get broken down and rendered into their basic particles are the lights of gods. Even then a strong enough light may hold back the void. (Kinda not sure on this one rereading it later)

The amount a light is effective against the void is based on its quality, with very cold or low output lights actually doing better. The brighter the light the deeper the shadow afterall.

the horns the vessels have are in the shape their burrowing teeth would have been if they’d been born Wyrms.

There are more vessels that escaped Hallownest entirely like Little Ghost, the further from Hallownest the fewer you’ll see though.

that’s not to say there’s a lot though, maybe like 100 or so still alive.

Vessels, once they begin to develop their identities, tend to pick a hobby or skill and build their identity out from there.

Ghost did this with cartography and cooking to begin with, but generally have more interests than other vessels.

Despite being a sort of woody material the shells of vessels give off a sound like porcelain and are fairly brittle.

Vessels don’t really understand time very well as a result of being born from the void. They might understand it intellectually but it doesn’t really apply to them the way it does to other beings.

Some vessels would have developed the ability to influence the passage of time if they’d survived- theirs is the power opposed afterall.

Vessels might not really have a sense of sight, like they don’t really have eyes but holes where they should be. Their senses are probably more like a rolling general awareness of where things are, textures, ect. I’m not sure how much I agree with this but it’s an idea I had.

Vessels don’t really give off pheromones other bugs can detect. And the void actively dampens any they do make, this same effect applies to most things regarding others prying into the thoughts of vessels too.

this might be why the pale king didn’t know hollow was impure.

#hollow knight #hk pale king #hk vessels #speculative biology #headcanon #hk thk #hk ghost

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delphiealmond · 2 months

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A Fallen Apple From the Apple Tree

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Pairing ➸ Lucifer Morningstar x Alastor

Synopsis ➸ Lucifer Morningstar believed that Heaven was a sanctuary, the best place for a soul to be in. Growing up with his brothers was the easy part, until God summoned him and his older brother Michael to guard over the portal between realms. Slowly, Lucifer begins to see how frightful Heaven really was. Sought out to defend the sinners of Hell, tragedy strikes among the Archangels. But a familiar face makes Lucifer think that maybe defending his opinion wasn't the worst idea he could've had. Does this familiar face bring him peace? Or does Lucifer end up getting stuck in another twisting cycle of lies and betrayals?

Warnings ➸ Swearing

⋆☾⋆𓅮❦⛧⋆☾⋆

MASTERLIST : Previous | Next

Chapter Two (2.5k)

Once Beelzebub returned, she sat back down at the round table, turning her attention towards the man in white. No one in Hell liked this man. Yet, he sat at the table with his son Michael in his arms. He held the boy close to him, rubbing his back, soothing him of his fears.

Michael held onto his white and blue jacket for dear life. He whimpered, sniffled and couldn’t look at the people in the room. The only person he could look at was his father, and even then, he didn’t offer much comfort. Nor did the Cherubim that stood guard over the King of Heaven.

God rubbed Michael’s back, gently patting his head as he gave the boy a small toy to play with. Luckily, that pulled his attention away from the scary things that surrounded him, as he wiped away the tears that began to collect in his eyes. He gripped it, looking the toy over before he began to play with it, comfortably on his father’s lap while their meeting officially began.

“Now, your Lord.” Satan sat up, his eyes digging holes into God’s head. “I’m glad you’ve accepted to meet us.”

“Of course.”

“So why’d you bring the kid?” Mammon asked, looking at the boy with light blonde hair and green eyes.

God hesitated for a moment, only for a heavy sigh to leave his lips. He turned his gaze down to his eldest son.

“The Seraphims couldn’t take them for the day… And the rest of the Cherubim were doing their job. I couldn’t exactly stop them from that to keep the boys occupied.”

“So you brought them to Hell?” Mammon laughed. “You’re so pathetic.”

“That’s enough,” Satan announced, standing from his spot. “God, your position means very little to us in Hell. Though, we understand you are the highest rank in Heaven. Now tell us why we had to have exorcist angels come tell us what is going to happen over the next decade?”

God stared at the six deadly sins. He knew each of them by name. By sin. They were all the embodiment of them, were they not? Sins that etched into the perfect world he’s built. The perfect world the Seraphim’s work their hardest to protect. He disliked them all, as they’ve permanently damaged the one thing he’s spent years on creating.

“Why don’t you sit down, Satan? And let us all talk like adults.” He said, snapping his fingers. The Cherubim behind him leaned forward, handing him the golden document. “You must understand that it’s nothing you’ve done for this to happen.”

“That’s bullshit!” Leviathan stood from his chair. “All you ever do is take everything from us that you think is wrong in your eyes.”

“Levi, calm down…” Satan held up a hand.

“No!!” He huffed. “You have all of this mighty power and you still decide to send angels down here to kill the souls that YOU can’t accept?!”

“Levi,” Bee glanced over to God, seeing how Michael cowered to the shouting. He clutched the toy to his chest as he tried to bury himself into his father’s jacket. “Please explain to us why you’re doing this then. Why you’ve decided to do it..” She frowned, watching as Levi grumbled, yet found his seat.

“Thank you Beelzebub.” God sent the document over to Satan. “Your lost souls are becoming too much. And there is a chance that they could rise against the lot of you, creating even more chaos than we need. And with that in mind, what happens next?” He asked, rubbing Michael’s back. “Heaven will no longer be a safe place for those who did no harm. Those who followed my rules.”

“And killing them is your only option?” Asmodeus asked, a frown on his face as he glanced between God and Satan.

“You have rings, right?” God asked.

“The 6 rings of Hell. Yes, each one of us runs one ring.” Satan explained. “But you don’t think it’s enough.”

“Of course not.”

“So massacre is your next best thing?” Levi asked. “And to think you’re someone everybody worships, yet you do worse things than the people down here do.”

God’s jaw tightened as he looked down at little Michael. He looked less afraid than when they first got there. His little eyes were lost in the hopes of the toy, his hand gripping onto his jacket. He didn’t want to be far from his father, lost in the scary darkness of the world.

“We will do it once a year. Send down an army of exorcists to exterminate souls. Of course, you and your loved ones will be safe.”

“But sinners, sir?” Bee asked, a frown on her face. “They’re…”

“Don’t start with me, Beelzebub.” God spoke, holding up a hand. “They are nothing like the souls we have in heaven. They chose to kill, to commit sin. This is the only place for people like them.”

“And you say Hell is becoming overcrowded?” Satan asked. “And what of Heaven? Are people a greater evil than good? How can you expect a soul to be pure and good, like you or your children?”

“They should be.”

“But it was your snake.” Asmodeus said, his fingers linking together. “It was your snake that convinced Lilith, your snake who gave Eve the apple. You created it, which means…” He glanced around the table. “You created the first sin.”

~~~~

The room was warm, with red and black furniture. The walls were painted in red and gold, colours Lucifer never expected to blend together. A fire was lit in the old grey stone fireplace as he wandered over to it. Of course, he knew fire was bad. It was painful, his father would say. Yet, it was beautiful. The dance of the flame. Lucifer could almost see figures dancing in the colours.

The carpet was a deep blue, almost purple with a number of stains littering it. Spiderwebs locked off in the corners, big spiders occupying the space. Michael was afraid of them, but Lucifer found them beautiful. He found almost everything beautiful.

He spun around the room, seeing the other boy, Alastor was it? Standing there watching him. He didn’t look scary, like the rest of them. He didn’t look dangerous, like the rest of them. Yet, he smiled at him, before rushing to the window of the room.

“Careful, your highness.” Cherubim spoke, watching him with caution. Lucifer prompted himself up on the window ledge, looking out the window. The streets were covered in reds and grays. Greens and beiges. Demons wandered the streets, looking nearly miserable. A frown slowly appeared on Lucifer’s bright face, as he watched the sinners wander through the world, almost aimlessly.

“Why do they do that?” He asked, looking back to Cherubim. The soldier frowned, slowly heading over as he peered out the window.

“This is their everyday lives, your highness.” He spoke. “They have nothing down here, compared to what we have up in Heaven. Now, come away from the ledge, you wouldn’t want to get hurt.” He beckoned.

Lucifer pouted, before using the help from the Cherubim to get off the ledge. He smiled at the boy, happily running over to him.

“What are you?” He asked. The boy stared at him, only to tilt his head to the side.

“What do you mean?” He asked.

“What are you?” Lucifer asked again, before gesturing to his ears. “Are you a dog? Are you… A fox?” He asked.

“Oh,” Alastor reached up and touched his ears. “I’m a hellborn. But, I have the features of a deer. My dad says it’s because he chose it.” He spoke, almost proud of his traits.

“Who’s your father? Is he the one in the big chair?” Lucifer asked, wandering around the room as he climbed onto one of the chairs. Alastor paused, glancing up at the Cherubim. He was told by his dad to never trust an angel. They’re selfish, rude and they take what they want, whenever they want it.

“Yes,” He wandered over to Lucifer, standing by the fireplace. “His name is Satan. He runs the Ring of Wrath.”

“Wrath…” Lucifer muttered, looking up at the ceiling. He saw little details in each section. One was a smiley face, the other was a big heart. Maybe he even saw the details of the garden of eden in it. He smiled though, before looking at Alastor.

“If… he dies, will you become the king then?”

“What?” Alastor looked at Lucifer before a smile appeared on his face. He laughed at the remark, before he shook his head. Yet, the prince pouted, crossing his arms at Alastor’s laugh.

“It was just a question, you don’t have to get so mean about it.”

“Well, there’s hierarchy down here. Multiple people run Hell, it’s not just one big guy in the sky. My dad only runs part of Hell. Every person in there? Runs only a small part. Together, they take care of it all.” He explained, putting his hands behind his back.

“So no, there’s no way I’d be a King of something.” He laughed again. “You’re funny, little angel.”

“Hey!” Lucifer got off from the chair, his hands forming to fists as three sets of little wings sprouted from his back. “I’m not a little angel! I’m an archangel who holds a very important part in Heaven!” He shouted. Alastor stared at him.

Now, Lucifer didn’t quite understand the look in Alastor’s eyes. He’s never met a hellborn before. He’s never even met a sinner before. Yet, the curiosity in Alastor’s red eyes struck him. Maybe this boy was just as curious as he was.

“What…?”

“Those are wings, right?” Alastor asked, pointing to them.

Though Lucifer's wings weren't big and bushy like his fathers, or even like Michael’s, but his wings were still a very important part to who he was. They were small, fragile, and he couldn’t fly with them yet. They looked a little more gray than they did white, as the rest of his colours hadn’t come in yet. But they were his wings, and he loved them.

“Y-yeah… What about ‘em?” He asked, a frown on his face.

“Are they… real?” Alastor asked, his ears twitching with excitement. And maybe this was Lucifer's first time noticing it. Behind him, a little red and black deer tail, wagging back and forth with excitement. How did he not see that before?

“Yeah, they’re real…” He glanced at his wings. “But they’re not fully grown yet. And they’re gray, not white… but father says that my colours will come in eventually!”

“They’re pretty.” Alastor said, looking at them. “Can I touch them?”

“My wings?” Alastor smiled, yet Lucifer remained cautious of the hellborn’s actions.

“Yeah! I’ll let you touch my ears, in exchange.” Lucifer hesitated. He was born with wings and horns, while this boy in front of him was born with ears and a tail. It wouldn’t harm anyone if he let one demon touch his wings, right? And his ears did look awfully fluffy. Sort of like a bunny’s, but different.

“Okay…!” He agreed, his wings spreading out on display. Alastor smiled, his hand cautiously reaching out and touching against the gray feathers. His little tail wagged with excitement as he felt the softness of the angel’s feathers.

“Wow… And does everyone have these?” Alastor asked, taking his hands back. Lucifer smiled with a firm nod.

“Even angels that arrive in heaven do.” He spoke, proud of his own wings as they folded up, going back into hiding. “But, because Michael and I are children of God himself, we have more sets of wings. Which means we’re archangels.”

“Wow…”

“My turn?” Lucifer asked, waiting patiently. Alastor blinked, before he gave a small nod. He tilted his head down for the young angel to touch against his ears. The way Lucifer’s eyes lit up almost made Alastor laugh.

His blue eyes went big and bright, adoration sparkled in them as he felt the fluffs of Alastor’s ears. He couldn’t help the smile that appeared on his face as he touched them.

“They’re super soft!!” He said, finally letting go of the red and white ears. Alastor stood straight, gently touching them as he straightened them out.

“I guess so…”

“I didn’t think Hell could have something so soft…” He muttered.

“Really?” Alastor tilted his head to the side. “Does everyone in Heaven think Hell is just… a really horrible place?”

“It is, isn’t it?” Lucifer asked, a small frown appearing on his pale face. “That’s what father says. That Hell is the worst place to be. That… We are the good people up in Heaven and everyone down here is bad..”

Alastor’s smile faded, only for a frown of its own to appear. His ears twitched as he pulled his gaze away from the shorter angel.

“Not every single person down here is bad.” He complained, only for his ears to tilt back, flattening against his head. Lucifer paused, watching the other boy. Did he say something wrong?

“Wait… That… It doesn't mean that you're bad.” Lucifer tried, reaching out for the demon in front of him. But, Alastor took a step away from him, glaring at the angel in his way.

“I am bad.” He said. “I think you should be very afraid of me.”

Lucifer frowned, taking a small step back from the demon in front of him. He must’ve said something wrong, he must’ve crossed over the line. He just wanted someone to talk to, but right now, this person… This demon was scaring him.

“Being here isn’t safe for a little angel like you.” Alastor took a step forward, watching as the boy pushed back into the chair behind him. “Maybe you should run back to your little world of pure happiness and roses. Get away from the dark and evil that could rip off those pretty wings of yours.”

Lucifer’s eyes began to water, but before he knew it, the Cherubim stepped in front of the other boy, guarding Lucifer with his angelic weapon pointed at the demon in front of them. He tumbled back against the floor, panic in his eyes as he watched the Cherubim force the other boy back against the wall.

It all happened so fast, seen through tears in his eyes. He was picked up by his father, hearing the muffled shouting between two different worlds. The evil people his father was talking with, angry and scary looking. Especially the one who rushed over to Alastor.

Yet, he watched as the Cherubim’s forced their way through the house, forcing sinners and the six deadly sins. He watched the house disappear behind them, peering over his father’s shoulder.

The next thing Lucifer knew, he was at home, tucked into his bed. He was wrapped up in his blankets, cuddling one of the many plushies on his bed. Simply, he rolled over, got himself comfortable again and fell right back to sleep.

#hazbin hotel #radioapple #radioapple au #alastor #hazbin hotel lucifer

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vi-sigoth · 5 months

Note

I'm exiting Christianity, but when I look at Paganism, I see so much of it is tainted by leftist morons and Wiccans? How do you bypass all of that and find authentic Paganism?

Disclaimer for all of my Christian mutuals: please understand this is not a personal attack, but this is my deep, true belief on this matter.

Well anon, congratulations on what will probably be one of the most difficult, but joyful, journeys of your life. You’ve already got the first step down, which is a major accomplishment: you’ve recognized that there is a lot of bullshit and misinformation around paganism. It’s a beautiful mosaic covered in grime and thorny, ugly, vines. So get ready for your hands to get dirty, and get ready to bleed. One of the great tragedies of paganism is that, despite what some think, the line hasn’t been broken, but it’s been heavily damaged and beaten almost beyond recognition. So my personal advice to you is:

1. Do not trust anyone that claims that paganism is a free-for-all, open religion.

Paganism is an ancestral religion. In fact, I was speaking to a friend about this a couple days ago, your ancestors probably didn’t really have the terms “religion” and “atheism” or “atheist” in their lexicon. Your ancestral gods are your progenitors. Are you alive? Is there warm blood in your veins? Then your gods are also alive too. To quote my friend “atheism only works if your gods are a separate, non-tangible thing. You cannot believe in your ancestry and blood. You can see it and feel it. It’s material.” Your ancestors, the spirits of the land and of the waters, the gods, are there whether you acknowledge it or not.

The problem with leftist “pagans” is that they come over from Christianity, but they still keep a Christian mindset, which is that, they believe that all the gods are for everyone. One of the most fundamental differences between Christianity and European paganism is that to accept Christianity means that you accept that Jesus Christ is for everyone. A Christian Norwegian, a Christian Irishman, a Christian Native American, a Christian Korean and a Christian Ethiopian are brothers in Christ. But a Christian Norwegian and a pagan Norwegian are no longer brothers according to Christianity. If you are a Christian convert, your pagan mother and father are sinners that will go to hell. You will not find them in the afterlife. In fact, it might even be your duty to separate yourself from them, from your entire family, if they refuse to accept Christ.

“Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword. For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. And a man's foes shall be they of his own household. He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.” - Matthew 10:34-37 KJ

I, as a pagan, do not abide by this. Your ties to your family, your gens, your tribe of people are the MOST important thing you have on this Earth. Our ancestral gods do not tell us to eschew our own family for them. Remember this any time you have doubts. Christianity does not originate in Europe. I don’t know how to stress this enough. It is anti-European. The more you learn about it, the more you will see that.

(And going along in this vein, does that mean a Christian Englishman should let his daughter marry a Christian African over a pagan Englishman? Ponder that one.)

So how do leftist pagans fit in with this? Well, they think that the entire, giant pantheon of European gods are a free-for all. They aren’t. If you are Germanic, you worship Germanic gods. If you are Slavic, you worship Slavic gods. Wiccanism (which deserves its own separate post) cherry-picked from Celtic, Norse, Near-East/Babylonian and Greco-Roman paganism, then splashed all that with Thelema and Khabbalah, and anyone can join. TRUE paganism is a closed religion. Odin is the progenitor of all Germanic people. If you have no Germanic blood, you don’t belong to him. So why would you worship him? It’s a whole other separate post, but it goes back to the leftist mindset that everything should be for everyone all the time. It’s RACIST to say that a quirky black girl in the US can’t worship Odin! But how so? I believe everyone has the right, and should, worship their own ancestral gods.

2. Do not trust monists, do not trust people that argue that European paganism should all be smushed together into a few archetypal figures and worshipped that way. The gods are real, they are not archetypes or representatives of something.

Yes, this is a thing that’s actually happening, and it’s probably going to be the first real schism of the pagan world.

3. Do not trust anyone that tells you that paganism is an OwO so soft and kind and gentle, non-judgmental way of life, as opposed to big meanyhead Christianity with all their hard rules!!! 👿. You might or might not know that Tacitus wrote of the Germanic tribes he observed that some criminals were punished by hanging, whereas some crimes (sodomy, for instance) were so disgusting that they were punished by bog drowning. Pagans absolutely had standards of upright, moral behavior long before they had interactions with Abrahamic religions. Just because there might not be an official written, surviving codification of those rules doesn’t mean they didn’t exist. This is unfortunately something you run into with pre-Christian Europe: oral tradition was often disrupted, therefore, modern pagans have no direct way to obtain it. And don’t think for a second either that illiterate = stupid. Druids had to undergo YEARS of training in religion, history, herblore/medicine, and law memorization, probably much more than the modern man could muster, before they were allowed to practice.

4. Most of all, do not listen to anyone who tells you that you MUST follow this religion or that. You CANNOT leave church, you MUST be a Baptist and not any other kind of Christian, you MUST be a Muslim, you MUST be a pagan. Only you and the gods alone know the yearnings of your own heart. Spend time thinking about why you want to leave Christianity, go on walks, pray and meditate, journal about it. Ask yourself what specific things you have problems with, and explore those. You would be shocked how well writing your thoughts down can help you think and articulate those thoughts to yourself and others.

Now, as to good sources that aren’t tainted by Wiccanism, I recommend going straight to the fonts: Read the best translations of myths and sagas you can find. read as unbiased academic papers on history and myth as you can. I highly recommend Telegram for fantastic discussions that really delve into paganism. I can make a separate post detailing all of the channels that I follow. I like Telegram quite a bit because I find that the pages I follow cite their sources pretty diligently, which means you can go and read the source for yourself. If you’d like to remain anonymous, send me another anon and I’ll post the Telegram list, if you’re comfortable messaging me, I can message you that list, and give you some better ideas of specific texts to read if I know which branches of European paganism you’re wanting to explore.

5. If you see a blog that talks about “working with” a god rather than worshipping them, block on site.

6. You know what, just block all Wiccans. Fuck them.

Remember that you are not alone. What you feel, I suspect, is shared by many Westerners, who feel in their blood the secret wild yearning to return to the ways of their ancestors. They might not know that’s what it is. What that nearly ungraspable thing inside them calls for, but I think if more people were made aware that there’s another thing out there, not Christianity, not atheism, not Islam, but another, half-hidden, secret thing, they might be able to give a name to their longing.

Good luck, sorry for the very long reply. And welcome home.

#long post #anonymous

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ilynpilled · 11 months

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one interpretation that i keep seeing that i do not i agree with, and believe the text implies otherwise, is the claim that jaime stood by passively and knowingly enabled cersei’s abuse to its full extent. you can argue a certain degree of compartmentalization, but i do not believe he knew or grasped the full extent, especially when it comes to physical abuse, bc if he did he would have recklessly murdered robert

he would have easily done it here too. cersei knew this in general as well, so i believe she deliberately kept certain things from him because it would be too reckless and his actions would put them all in danger (even though she can be that, she was being very reckless in this scene, but we know they are both crazy for the adrenaline rush: [“Eyes and ears were everywhere within the Red Keep, and one could never be certain when Robert would return. Somehow the peril had only served to make their times together that much more thrilling”] and she does crave some form of personal vengeance and catharsis when it concerns robert, and she’ll take all that she can get)

he is available to her though at this point. killing robert is not something that i feel jaime wouldn’t be willing to do if she asked, but of course that is an action that could threaten their lives. i do think the ‘lies’ cover this too. i also interpret that there was stuff like this that she kept from him, even though he believes she shows him her ‘wounds’. the twins have never been truly and fully vulnerable with each other. i think cersei does to some extent, but we know she also weaponizes it (for example the white dress scene etc.— also how Jaime’s mind immediately goes to ‘she will look to me for comfort and revenge’, + “You little fool. Tears are not a woman’s only weapon.”, if she wanted him to kill robert all she would have to do is ask) when the relationship is forced into real conflict and renders cersei genuinely very vulnerable in many ways, her walls end up going back up when she feels like she is losing her grasp on him and she starts being cruel and abusive to him and pushes him away. it is obvious that neither of them are capable of functional and truly honest communication with each other.

jaime is not truly vulnerable with her because he is emotionally a mess also, and does not like to navigate and confront things (he is a man in westeros, tywin’s rearing, his coping mechanisms and his way of (not) dealing with trauma, jaime’s tendency for denial or to put his head in the sand etc.) he never shared the aerys thing with cersei— did she ever ask? idk. cersei is meant to be his escape. he only goes as far as telling her some things and hinting to deeper issues i don’t really think even he really grasps like “he only feels alive in battle or in bed.” i think the main part of it for cersei is about the prevention of tragedy befalling him, her, and their children, as a result of him impulsively acting, but maybe also the deep rooted damage of tywin associating true vulnerability with weakness, especially when she feels like she can no longer trust her ‘other half’. them not knowing each other’s deepest scars also feels like a big part of their tragedy and inability to understand each other. they have clear blindspots, in this case jaime certainly does when it comes to his privilege and sexual abuse and exploitation that women systemically face, and that lack of understanding and sympathy is present when the relationship enters conflict, and it is a big part of deconstructing the whole idea that they are one soul in two bodies as well as furthering the gender commentary and the condemnation of westerosi patriarchy.

#he would have killed robert if cersei asked #+#i do think jaime could put together the pieces by now but he is too caught up in his own side and the betrayal #and his life’s purpose falling apart #jaime lannister #valyrianscrolls #cersei lannister

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jackiequick · 4 months

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Hero or Villain?…Anti-Hero OC

Katherine Lang

“I’m sorry, do we have a problem? No? Good. Get out! Cause i will dig up every track you buried til it kills me.”

Full Name: Katherine ‘Katrina’ Lang

Nicknames: Katrina, Kat, Ms. Lang, T

Age: 16-28 years old

Height: 5’4

Occupation: Agent of Red Room, Strikers , SHIELD/HYDRA—whatever the job payment is.

Skills: Technical basic training, disguises, getaway driver, panel controls as in she will order her men to strike you down, research and response center. She is usually being of assistance when needed. She’s also good with guns.

“When everyone knows your tragedy, they treat you differently. Like you’re gonna break or fight them, right? Even if they might be trying to help, all they do is remind you of the most painful moment of your life.”

Ethnicity: Her father is of Dutch descent. Her mother is of Chinese descent. But she grew up in different places across the USA.

Relationship Status: Single.

Titles: The Lady In Red, Stiletto, The Innocent

Personality: Snarky, quiet, slightly charming, daring, a little cold hearted and utterly willing to do what she believes is worth her benefits. As well as time. Growing to be obsessive and emotional, especially with a passion for getting stuff done. Even if it meant ordering a kill or two.

~~~

-> Backstory

-> Katrina grew up in and out of foster homes. Had at least less than dozens of families take her under their wing, even her aunt as well after her parents died tragically by an explosion in the middle of a highway. She will never know who or how it happened, and honestly, she didn’t care too much to find out.

Especially when a lot of people knew of that unknown tragedy to her lifetime, almost a poster girl for the unexpected moments.

Due to her natural beauty and use of clothing, she appeared to make sure she was as gentle as a flower. Having a guys and even girls wrapped around her finger in early high school years. Ending up as one of the cheerleaders for extra credits, because that’s what she believed her parents and aunt wanted her to be.

However it wasn’t exactly what she desired to be doing. Wanting to fight for what she believes is worthy, see the world development underneath her fingertips, and get a glimpse of the jobs done. Understand it.

Across her 16th year of life, being in the care of foster parents, she was given the odd opportunity to go to Paris. While she was there she visited the Kawatche cave walls, getting a feeling like she meant to be at that old building. As the symbols called her names like a witching tone into her grasp, she felt someone tap her shoulder sliding a envelope under her armpit as they did.

“What do you want?” She asked, not looking at the person, just staring at the walls.

“I heard your little small story.” Said the voice, female, sounding almost crisp and whispery.

“What of it?”

“Public tragedy of dead parents. Foster homes. Good grades. Deeming track record in social life.”

“I was a cheerleader. A preppy gray example of the good girl.”

“That’s what the others want to believe, my dear. Secretly you’ve been knocking back the doors and stealing a few items, getting caught in the mist of a scandal between an old friend who tried to kill you?”

“..she was uh, controlled by some smoke in the school halls. So was i..i took the axe and destroyed walls. But she didn’t kill me.”

“But you almost did. She tried to do the same. Both did some serious damage to the school. Why?”

“..everyone wants something they can’t have. Money, looks, love, be understood..hell, even friendship. Just some controls over something. I guess she was jealous. I wiped the footage clean from security cameras afterwards..It was the past, why come now?”

“Open it.”

She opened it. Spy. The envelope said a few more things but that’s the word which caught her name. Striking expression appeared on her face, as she looked over her shoulder at the women for the first time. She was brunette, tall, lean brown eyes and dressed in gray coat with a black dress underneath. She was stunning with a small lined smile, nodding.

“Spy..agent?” She asked the women.

“Whichever one suits you. We are always willing to take in strays from the litter, my dear.” She replied with a shrug.

“I an not a stray!”

“Suit yourself. I’m just giving you an opportunity to workout your future. You’ll be good at it, i hope.”

Katherine knew that she wasn’t exactly seen right away in people’s eyes. Her past was always a little foggy and she was young, what does she have left to lose? Be the poster girl or something else?

———

Of course she choose the latter. Arriving underground side in Paris, finding the women and agreed to take a peek of the wider view of the world.

-> Over the years, she trained in basic gymnastics and kickboxing aside from the ones she knew already. She was around technical groups, diving in and using her tricks, gently roll of the touch voice, to convey the attention of others. Meeting a few short coming men and women, some even became friends. However, Katrina was never assigned to be strictly Red Room or Hydra material per say, which lead her to flexible with her schedule for trips.

Which also meant, she would go undercover as older allies, wig and custom made costumes with weapons in hand, in teams of two, to take down what threat that needed to be taken care of. Leaving her mark in black heels and a red pressed kiss on a notecard. Coming across SHIELD agents, the rich & famous such as The Starks and Feltons, and other unofficial agents who were neither bad or good.

Katrina never considered herself neither bad or good either, sometimes mad her wonder if she was in the wrong business.

She had undergone preparations and briefing for targets to be taken out. Keeping an eye on her fellow men and women on the field, calling the shots to be taken in their earpieces. Sometimes she doesn’t listen to her own voice in her head, roundhouse kicking or ordering herself to take another step furthermore.

-> Remember in Winter Solider when Natasha showed Steve her scar that was from The Solider who injured her, yes Barnes took the shot to kill the scientist, but Katrina and the others at the control panel were the ones to tell Barnes to do it.

She didn’t want to injure the ex-widow, but one look from her higher ranked member told her to message the order to do as he must.

Get the job done, even if it hurt or annoyed her to do so.

~~~

Recruitment had to be an intriguing part for her. Even though she tends to discuss the situation or disapprove of the recruiting process for others, she would look at her fellow students of the job, for their opinions.

They would just tell her to get the job done and everyone can go out for drinks later. She was actually apart of the group who recruited who willing suggests who said they have nothing else to lose, Wanda and Pietro Maximoff, believing that the job would be worthy of their time.

Seeing the world develop underneath their fingernails and try to understand what can be done.

Those same sentiments struck a tone with her, since they were similar to what she thought was right. In result, she felt somewhat empathetic towards the twins.

She understood them and their willingness to take on challenges, just none of them were taught in the correct manner to do so. Which made it a challenge.

Hell, she found the one with the platinum blonde and brunette roots pretty good looking . It didn’t help that he always flirted with her every chance he got, trying to sweep Katrina off her feet with every interaction. Thankfully she never fell for his charms. But she did blush.

The natural brunette beauty, she was a somewhat kind hearted but odd one like her, always tinkering and wondering around the halls. She sometimes found Katrina in the hallways or computer room of the building, if she was around, to talk. She always found herself holding her hand for comfort on both sides of the coin.

———

Katrina has taken jobs at few organizations, whoever was willing to give her a chance with a good payment. Being honest, she wasn’t always to please with every task she was given to do. A lot of time it the upmost basic stunts like being stealth to grab intel from a community of rich folks, digging up information that was buried in a system and or taking down unwanted eyes for a certain job.

Hell, she has worked for plenty of men and women across the country who have wanted to have her as assistance on a experimental project, even if it pushed her limits or pay rate. Having worked for company’s like Palmer, The Luther Family, HIVE and others over the years.

She didn’t always take the shot though, believing that there was another way to finish things. Or sometimes she faked the person undoing, knowing the boss wouldn’t ask for much, just evidence of some kind.

She sometimes, if the job called for it, saved herself and a few people in the possibilities of something rather lighter to happen in the future. People would call her a vigilante for the work she does, but not exactly a heroic act. But she tried.

~~~

Her looks were a dead giveaway that she’s wasn’t somewhat truly horrible, she had a light side and a dark side to her.

Everyone did.

But Katherine was like any other person in this lifetime, she wants to know what she can and cannot do. Not wanting to get hurt or feel hurt, even though pain is part of life.

She wants to see if she can push her limits and test out the results around her, even if it meant accidentally making the wrong choices or siding the anti-heroic path.

Sometimes it felt good to be a little cocky and act as bad as you can get. Other times it really doesn’t.

But at the end of the day, she makes the decision to take the gold or leave whatever her past is in the dust.

~~~~

-> But the real question, who will find her? Will be taken back to light side and rest in the work she has done? Who will she meet?

That’s what I got, I might edit and add more to her story later on. What did you think?

Also did I use quotes from the actress’s character in the series? Maybe haha.

Tags: @gaminggirlsstuff @missstrawbs2001 @mallowbee4 @halesfavoriteharlot @sherloquestea @rooster-84 @gcthvile @meiramel @thecavalrywife @mandylove1000 @rickb-chaos @yetanotherwells @queenslandlover-93 @buckysteveloki-me @djs8891 @blueboirick and etc

#my ocs #kristen kreuk #marvel oc #lana lang #wanda maximoff #pietro maximoff #age of ultron #the winter soldier #bucky barnes fanfiction #natasha romanoff #marvel x oc #anti hero oc #marvel fanfiction #tv oc #femme fatale #Spotify

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the-crimson · 2 months

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Q!BBH and Generational Trauma

For a long time this has been something I’ve noticed in the halo family that I’ve strongly related to. Idk if it’s an intentional theme bbh and Dapmin (and pommin but im mainly gonna focus on Dapper) put into their characters but it’s definitely there. So heres my perspective on bbh’s character arc so far observed through a lens of generational trauma.

(Quick side note. Writing this post was a journey tm and my initial view of bbh and god’s relationship and what the afterlife scene meant shifts dramatically half way through XD)

Even if a parent does everything right, they will still hurt their children. It’s part of the job. It’s part of life. Even if we choose to be better than our parents, the scars they left will bleed onto our children. I think every family has an element of generational trauma - I certainly do but im not gonna trauma dump on yall - but the severity of it is a spectrum.

Q!bbh was cast from his home due to the conditional love of God/the Father and this has left a clear impact on him. His self worth is in the gutter and he lacked a sense of purpose. According to everything we know of bbh’s life before the island, he didnt really care for much of anything other than finding the next source of entertainment - i mean, he remembers the salem witch trials fondly because of the drama of it all regardless of the fact that hundreds of innocent women were murdered.

Was God being intentionally cruel or abusive? Probably not. From His perspective, he may see casting his angels from heaven as a temporary punishment - like spanking a child for throwing a tantrum - without really understanding the damage such treatment is actually doing. He isnt teaching his children the lesson he thought he was just as spanking a child doesnt teach them to behave, only to fear. Bbh redeemed himself in the eyes of the Father and thus was granted the choice to return home. The Father was doing his child a kindness, he was welcoming his lost angel back home because what fallen angel would ever choose anything other than Elysium? And thats the point of conflict. The Father thinks he is doing right by his child but hes only causing bbh more pain. Bbh has to choose between his own children and eternal salvation (that he knows can be taken away on a whim). His heart has been severed in two.

Bbh’s wounds from his disownment run so deep he doesnt even notice them and thus, doesnt notice how they impact his children. Dapper has taken after so many of bbh’s characteristics and a complete lack of self worth is one of them. Selflessness to the point of self annihilation. The fear of being a burden. The need to feel useful otherwise why am i even alive? Dapper was borderline suicidal because they felt useless and nearly killed themself trying to be useful by farming soul hearts and they learned all of this behavior from Bad. Bbh showed Dapper unconditional love but it wasnt enough. Bbh couldnt save Dapper from his own trauma.

Breaking cycles of generational trauma takes more than just realizing how you were raised didnt work and trying something else. Bbh never healed from the wounds left by the Father and thus they were passed down to his own son.

When i started writing this analysis, i thought that this was the tragedy between bbh and the Father. God was too stuck in his ways to understand what His child needs, what would truly make bbh happy. I thought that the Father had not changed. His love remained conditional. Bbh could only come home if he chose god/heaven. The door might be closed next time. This is his only chance of coming home. But now after laying it all out like this… it made me wonder why the Father decided now of all times was when bbh redeemed himself. My initial cynical reading was that the Father was putting bbh through a test of loyalty. He only truly earned his redemption if he would abandon his children in favor of god/heaven but now… i can see a more hopeful reading.

God watched bbh become a father. He watched bbh become a better person through fatherhood. He also watched as the trauma He caused was passed onto bbh’s child. If the Father wanted bbh to come home because he’d redeemed himself, then the Father could have snapped bbh away at any time. Perhaps thats what He would have done 14,000 years ago when bbh first fell. What if the Father recognized his mistake? What if this was His attempt to fix things after seeing just how much damage He’d done? What if he did finally understand what bbh truly needed?

Bbh was stuck in his trauma because he lacked agency in his current state. The Father still had all the power between them by holding heaven hostage. The only way bbh could ever start to heal from this damage was if he was given back the choice that was made for him. Bbh needed to choose one way or another in order for him to take the first step towards healing even if it causes him anguish in the moment. He needed the choice. He needed the freedom to refuse.

But giving freedom to your children can be scary. What if they make the wrong choice? What if they screw up and ruin everything? For a god who expects perfection from his children, freedom must be terrifying. Giving His children freedom means giving them the option to turn away from him. But that is part of being a parent.

What if unlocking the gates was an apology? Im sorry i hurt you. Im sorry i made this choice for you. I see you. I wont take this choice from you again. Its too late to change the past but you can change the future. Dont make my same mistakes.

What if it was a gift? God relinquished his leverage over bbh and gave him the option to come home. An opportunity for bbh to break the cycle. A chance for bbh to make a choice for himself for once. To free him of the shackles that tied him to God. To heal and stop his own son from continuing the cycle of generational trauma.

After all, the greatest gift a god can give is the freedom to choose one’s own destiny.

#qsmp #crimson speaks #badboyhalo #wow this post was a journey #ended up with a complete opposite conclusion than i started with #lmao #i hope its coherent #wrote this when i should have been sleeping #lol #i just couldnt stop thinking about it

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nerizys · 11 months

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The Feeling In Your Hand - Boboiboy AU

Warning: OOC

___________________________

It hurts at first...

The day I realized I have lost all the feeling in my hands.

I wanted him to stop, I really did. It was all pointless though.

"You should be grateful to even have a master"

I should have known better. Then maybe... Maybe this tragedy wouldn't have happened, maybe no one would have had to lose their loved ones. My desire for survival clouded my judgement. My existence was doomed from the start.

So why do I exist?

It was a question I have thought of many times. A flawed existence. I couldn't even handle my own power despite it being me.

What's the point then?

I awaited the day my source would simply run out of power, and then I'll be able to fade away for good. I was so sure I had no more connections to this world. My energy can go to my brothers, they need it more than I do.

But then you came into the picture

I can see why the others wanted to bring you back to life so much, but I failed to feel the same as they do.

I feared that, when you grow up, you'll be like him too.

The energy we got from Ochobot was enough to keep me awake, so I opted to simply watch over you, purposely made my unlock conditions difficult so you will give up on me and focus on my brothers instead.

Ironically, it was me who reached out first, but even then, I endangered your life. I didn't know why I even did something so illogical. Only then did I understand how they felt when they almost lost you.

My arrogance had put you in danger, yet you still held my hand. Maybe it's because you don't know what's hidden beneath. Ignorance is bliss afterall.

Only when he returned, did I truly understand how important you've become. The pain was somewhat eased thanks to all the strength I regained, but it still hurts so much, watching as the tragedy from 100 years ago repeat, watching as my brothers despair.

Now that you've learnt of my past, I wonder if you see me in a different light... Master.

__________________________________

"Solar?"

The light element looked up from his book to see his master walking towards him, a rather complicated expression on his face. It has been 1 week after Boboiboy woke up from his coma. They are all recovering from the incident, bandages and all, at least he's well enough to be allowed to walk around now.

"Is something the matter Ori?"

"Is it true you guys get can hurt from your own power?"

"Yes, yes we can if we push ourselves to use more power than we can process. It will cause damage to our physical form. We can gradually heal if we had the energy though"

He could see Original's expression relax a bit.

"May I know why you're suddenly interested in this topic?"

"I saw new scars and injuries on you guys. Rek'taka wouldn't allow you guys to manifest, and you hardly get injured too. I asked Gempa about it and..."

Boboiboy looked at Solar's hands, Solar could already see where this is going. They stayed in silence for a moment.

"Solar... May I see your hands? Only if you want to of course!"

Now this is complicated. No matter what he does, it would confirm Boboiboy's suspicion either way. It's not like Boboiboy isn't someone he couldn't trust, but it's the thing that comes after that scares him, because he doesn't know how he will react.

After what seems like forever, Solar let his gloves disappear in particles of light, revealing the dark, charred hands underneath.

"May I hold your hand?"

This isn't the first time they held hands, but it's the first time they hold hands without the gloves. Solar nods, and Boboiboy reached out, holding Solar's hands in his own. The way he gently held it, and the way he intertwined their fingers together.

"Does it bother you?"

"Huh?"

"My hands, their state. I was so weak I couldn't even handle it, and it came to this"

If he didn't reach out to that child that day, maybe it wouldn't come to this.

"Solar... You know I don't care about that right?"

What is he trying to say now?

"I don't care if you're weak, because it's not true. It must have been really painful, but you endured it"

"I didn't have a choice, and it no longer hurts when you can't feel it"

Boboiboy looked up, and Solar regrets saying that as worry began to gather in his master's eyes again.

"You can't feel it? Can you feel your hands?"

"No, I lost the sensation in them a long time ago"

"Can't you heal yourself? Are you lacking energy?"

Solar shakes his head "No, it's not that. If we repeatedly overexert ourselves, then at one point the damage becomes permanent"

His master's face becomes sad, as he held Solar's hand a little tighter, letting the realization sink in. Boboiboy doesn't care about what Solar's hands looked like, but the fact that he had to suffer for what he didn't want to do.

Rek'taka can say what he wants, Boboiboy will believe what he wants. He believes the elementals deserve to be happy after this whe time. 100 years of mourn and loss, not knowing what happened to your loved ones, isolated must have been a nightmare.

He cups Solar's cheeks in his hands, catching the light element by suprise.

"I have an idea! Let's merge Solar!"

"But you're still recovering-"

"I'm fine now, pretty sure I could handle you"

"Okay. This is your idea. I don't want Gempa to ground me"

Boboiboy smiles ear to ear "I won't let that happen!"

The familiar feeling of the merge flows in his veins, it wasn't cold, it didn't hurt like when he was with Rek'taka. It was warm, and comforting, just like how Boboiboy is. He sees the elementals as his family and is willing to wait for the elementals to step forward, no matter how long it will take. It should be the opposite, because Boboiboy will live a much shorter life than they will, but he waited for them anyways.

Solar decided to go ahead and grab the book he has been reading. Then, he felt the sensation in his hands, the smooth texture of the book, the first thing he felt in more than 100 years.

"So? How did it feel?"

"It's- I don't know, it's so foreign, but not in a bad way"

After that, they had tried feeling the sensation of other things, like water. They tried making a cup of hot cocoa and Solar finally understood the feeling of touching a cup that's way too hot because usually he just holds it (much to the concern of everyone else)

"Can we do this again some time?"

"Sure thing! I'm okay with it, just don't touch a hot cup again"

He chuckles

"I won't"

#boboiboy #bbb elements separated au #bbb septuplet au #boboiboy cahaya #boboiboy solar #tried to speedrun this

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fancy-rock-dove · 8 months

Text

Thoughts on why the main relationship in TGCF manages to be full of tropes that are trash-associated but is also deeply compelling:

There are SO MANY nuances of the complicated power dynamics and self-sacrifice in Hualian’s relationship that could’ve been cringily unhealthy at so many points and THEN they just WEREN’T. Not ever. Not once

Every time I revisit this novel, I remain so impressed with MXTX’s capacity for nuance. These two are so gone on each other. Hua Cheng literally worships Xie Lian like a god. They would commit atrocities for each other. There are literally characters in the novel who worry about the sheer, unconditional trust Xie Lian gives to Hua Cheng no matter how many secrets he has. In a lesser writer’s hands, this exact dynamic is unhealthy to the point of atrocity: one becoming an unmoored monster and the other both enabler and victim. The shadow of this dynamic is hinted at in the book 4 flashback but it is specifically not allowed to actually become that. Never do we see even a shade of that relationship slip into the book itself, because that’s not how it really is for these two, not even in the darkest flashback moments.

Many narratives in which this level of devotion is present, it would be accurate to call it blind devotion, which becomes uncomfortable for the sake of the follower and unhealthy for the development of their love interest, but here the devotion is so continuously and unfailingly anchored not in looking the other way (the damaging nature of doing so being one of the core themes of the novel) but is conversely about seeing clearly and understanding fully.

So when Hua Cheng does things like offering to take the plague sword and release the disease on Yong’an himself, it actually has the effect of letting Xie Lian see the effect these choices are having on himself more clearly. It was absolutely necessary that Wu Ming not say “let me do this because you want it done” but instead say “I would do this if you needed me to and you didn’t want to because I independently understand why you want this”, because then, refusing him is a real reflection for Xie Lian on himself. There is self-sacrificing devotion in the relationship, but only for the sake of their actual wellbeing, never just while following a blind desire to do what they say.

Like, Hua Cheng can refuse Xie Lian. That’s a pretty foundational thing that happened. He does refuse him things from the beginning, even in the most basic, relationship-defining things. Xie Lian asked him to forget him after the burning of his temples and he refused, and here we are now. It’s a devotion to each other’s wellbeing, that also manages to be so without either of them assuming they know better than the other what that person needs or wants. The only time Hua Cheng actively sacrifices himself (which Xie Lian definitely wouldn’t want if asked) it’s in pursuit of the goal/outcome that XL wanted/needed to happen.

There manages to be complete devotion to each other, and also deep respect for each other’s choices and judgement, and those things…. often don’t coexist in fiction. Like, Hua Cheng introduced nothing if not agency to Xie Lian’s life. In the grand majority of the side arcs, often the “twist” in the mystery we’re exploring is some variation on “was someone forced to do something? No, they had agency!” And whether what they did with it was bad is also very much up for debate. The backstories and current stories of our protags were often journeys in recognizing that they’re not absolved of personal responsibility for lack of easy options, and show them winning by choosing to wrest back agency instead, even to their own detriment. “Take the third path”, “no paths are bound” etc. are catchphrases of our main character for a reason. Sometimes the best option still ended in tragedy, but it didn’t compromise their integrity. I LOVE “no paths are bound” as a tagline for this book and a catchphrase for Xie Lian, because it ALSO ties the good things about the main relationship into the main themes of the book. Hua Cheng’s goal is not just to be able to protect, which he probably could have done as an ordinary super ghost, but to be powerful enough to put every single possibility on the table for Xie Lian. Hua Cheng needed to be the Most Powerful, because he decided that if Xie Lian wants to do something, Hua Cheng needs to be strong enough to make it happen, needs to make it so that that every option, every path, is always under serious consideration. He literally made it so that any roll of the dice was an equally good outcome (Which is the best rationale for designing an OP character I’ve ever heard in my life). He’s not preventing danger, but instead increasing his agency in the face of it. Essentially “If what you end up choosing is MORE DANGER then I’ll be unhappy about it but I won’t stop you, I will work to make that path walkable too. I’m not here to keep you on a path, I’m here to open and smooth the one you most want to use.”

And, moreover, both people are able to be insanely cool and insanely powerful and be looked up to by the other, because while the power dynamics between them, perceived or real, could’ve been uncomfortable at many points, they WEREN’T. The people involved are on even footing even when they think they’re not. There was never a time when their presence wasn’t good for each other, even before Xie Lian knew to pay attention. Even in Hua Cheng’s very earliest appearances in the book 2 flashbacks, it’s really notable that he had enough effect on Xie Lian and his well-being that he appears multiple times in Xie Lian’s memory of those events, even though he had no idea who he was, or even that all his appearances were the same person.

MXTX really seems to grasp what’s attractive about these protective/super-powerful-boyfriend dynamics in fiction, why they often go badly wrong/make fiction bad rep of healthy relationships, and then SHOWS THEM IN THEIR HEALTHY FUNCTIONAL FORM INSTEAD so we’re free to love what we love about them. At the end of the day, we’re shown the way the best of these things all ideally point to love and concern for the other person as they are, before any considerations of their role in your own life or what they do for you. BUT with the expectation of reciprocal respect and latitude to do what you need to do as well.

I’ve never seen another story do this quite so well with such so-often-abused tropes and dynamics, and it’s one of the reasons that the romance in particular makes this work so near and dear to me.

It kinda reaffirmed my ability to see these things I naturally love seeing in love stories as healthy, reasonable forms of affection and devotion when based in an actual healthy relationship. When much, much fiction that treats similar dynamics badly makes me want to feel bad for enjoying aspects of them.

So seeing THIS relationship be what it is was a validating, freeing, and clarifying experience.It basically explained for me why I like these things, and elucidated why, for me, they fit into my paradigm of ideal romance and devotion, even (especially) when they can be problematic if treated wrong.

In essence, seeing these tropes done well is also an exercise in seeing what was missing in cases where they were damagingly removed from context, and thus understanding their key aspects and the core behind their impact. This book actually literally kinda reframed the way I conceptualize romance by helping me put together how many of the tropes I love in romances actually fit into an ideal relationship.

A spring cleaning of my thoughts if you will.

An ordering of my conceptions.

And I bonded with it deeply for that.

And yet it is also trash, who would’ve thought.

(it is self-aware, culture-savvy, meta-commentary trash for the most part, that clearly leans into it with fond intention, so I really do not mind it. It manages to be genre bending while expressing only love for its own genre and why it is the way it is. No disdain here. Only love for things as they are.)

#wow you can tell I originally wrote this ramble at like 3am RIGHT after my very first reread of the novel way back when #sharing it anyway #I stand by the observations #though I may come back and edit this with more receipts later #during my 5th reread perhaps #tgcf #hua cheng #xie lian #hualian #my pre volume 7 tgcf opinions #tossing my thoughts into the void #long post #tgcf spoilers #just to be safe

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