#poetic really....loves it xx | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

answer2jeff · 3 months

Text

not a lot, just forever.

carmen's opening up, but he wishes you'd do the same.

warnings: fluff + angst. fem!reader who is also a big reader (mostly poetry) and occasionally journals. unestablished relationship (friends to lovers, mutual pinning.) very touchy-feely. writing is overly detailed and so painfully poetic you might vomit.

word count : 2.4k

hey. i think i left my book at ur place. 11:15pm.

sorry, just got home. i can bring it over now 11:36pm.

oh yeah that'd be great! thank you. (sorry for the inconvenience) 11:38pm.

no worries 11:41pm.

lmk when ur here. xx 11:45pm.

Carmen had some idea of what that meant: xx. He knew what it meant when girls signed notes with xoxo in replacement of red kiss marks and strokes of long acrylic nails through their secret lovers hair—not that he ever received one, no. But your occasional visits practically felt just as intoxicating. If the order was x-o-x-o, and the worded statement being hugs-and-kisses, then xx must've been hugs, right? Two hugs. Like the one you shared the first time you met at Natalie's baby shower. He smelled like authentic Italian cologne with a hint of cigarette smoke diluted by dish soap and warm water. His grasp was hesitant, but ever-all-consuming once his shoulders relaxed. It was like metamorphosis. The way he wrapped his arms underneath while you tossed yours up around his neck, his gold chain feeling cold and hard against your skin, unlike the rest of him.

He was an under-hugger. He kept the ones he cared for unsuspectingly close to him. Such physical touch felt familiar. Maybe you'd just remembered stories and inside jokes about him through Natalie so well his tenderness and anxious nature was fitting to the idea of him you had in your head.

That was almost 6 months ago. And surprisingly, you'd become pretty good friends. Not that either of you really did friends at your age...but somehow it worked. You'd come to realize that he was so much kinder than anyone painted him out to be. And yet, you never really talked about yourselves.

Not in a way that really mattered, anyway.

The articles you'd written, the interviews you conducted with snobby assholes, the dozens of freelancing jobs with horrific schedules you had before, what you loved about writing and what you hated about the world around you—those were topics of discussion. Carmen's favorite restaurants he ever expanded his career with, the odd relationship he had with his sister that flipped like a rusty switch after highschool, candle scents he loved and bought over and over again despite their poor quality wicks, the first time he got drunk and how he swore he'd never let another drop of alcohol touch his tongue—those were normal methods of late night conversations.

But what about your dream to publish a novel? Or the memoir you read that completely changed your views on love as a whole. What about Carmen's uncle being his only friend his entire life? Oh, how he would've become a starving, broken artist if he ever believed he had enough talent for it. Hell, what about the girl you met in middle school who mysteriously moved away and shared all her secrets on the true meaning of life, death, and everything in between? Why didn't you ever talk about those things? Maybe it was too close, too personal. If he knew you too well, maybe he'd see you as you saw yourself.

Carmen had been thinking about those colored pencils you bought him for his birthday and can't get himself to tell you he uses them every day. Not just to illustrate his dishes...but you, sometimes. Your hair, your smile. He used that photo you begged him to snap of you staring out your window melodramatically with a bowl of pasta carbonara and a glass of bubbling champagne in front of you as reference. How could he ever show you the endless amount of pages containing the essence of your existence in that goddamn sketch book?

Questions. Questions. Questions.

Thoughts of potential ate away at your patience with every pacing step you took around your bedroom.

Answers. Answers. Answers.

—

"Do people even have deep conversations over pasta and wine anymore?" You trace the pad of your middle finger against the rim of your glass, your elbow propped up on the counter so your chin can rest in your hand.

Carmen draws his eyebrows together, the little crinkle in his forehead showing. You glance up at it and struggle to stifle a growing smile. He cocks his head before barring his bottom lip behind his teeth, picking at the skin with the tips of his fingers. That signature pose; where his left arm is crossed against his chest and his hand holds the elbow of his right arm. It's a habit you almost immediately picked up on. It told you time and time again that he was nervous.

Thinking. Contemplating.

"Is that, like—" he breaths a chuckle, but it comes out more as an accidental huff than anything. Smug bastard, he is. Especially when he drags his gold chain across his neck as it loops around the finger that once picked at the dry skin of his mouth.

"Your way of..asking me for a deep conversation over wine and pasta?"

Ah. He's called you out. The one thing he couldn't shake was his annoyance when you were so completely and utterly vague about your wants, your needs, your desires. Hell, Carmen Berzatto would wrap a lasso around the moon, or any planet you put your claim on, and drag it down so it could be yours and only yours. Only if it meant you'd stop feeling so complacent. You knew this. At least to some extent. His little favors buttered you up until you a mushy mess of adoration. What really scratched at your urges and your patience was how blissfully unaware he was of his show of affection toward you. Part of you feared that if you ever told him how much it caressed that bruised, fruit fly infested, rotted spot of your heart so gently it felt like a kiss, despite the sting, he'd stop.

"Y'know what? Yeah. I'm asking."

You shrug your shoulders and stare down at your nearly finished bowl of penne with vodka sauce. Stabbing a stack of pasta onto your fork and the clinking sound of the metal banging against the ceramic bowl seemed to fill the silence before Carmen finally spoke again, though with much hesitation.

"Okay," he barely whispers, nodding his head and fumbling to take a seat in the barstool underneath the counter. Sitting across from you gives him the constant justification to just look at you.

Starting off this session with a question was quite a kicker.

"Y'know Sade Zabala? Author of that book you brought back for me."

Carmen blinks slowly. He pretends to dig deep in his memory to identify the name, wondering if you'd ever mentioned her. But he fails, pulling his lips taught, so as to say 'I've got nothin.' The sound of your dramatic sigh and the 'tsk' sound of your lips separating makes his palms sweat.

"She's a wonderful writer. A poet. I mean, really, her book Coffee and Cigarettes was one of the most gut-wrenchingly beautiful and altruistic collections of.. of love, pain, rejuvenation—all of it."

If he was completely honest, he doesn't have a clear image of what those words meant. But it doesn't seem to matter what comes out of your mouth or how you phrase it. Your use of specific language fascinates him. There is nothing else he can do in this moment but nod and allow the corners of his lips to curl into a smile strong enough to make the apples of his cheeks go pink.

"I'll tell you one line of one of the greatest poems she had ever written in that book. In the humble opinion of yours truly, of course."

"Sure," he assures you. "Of course, of course."

"Tell me every terrible thing you ever did, and let me love you anyway."

Saliva pools in your mouth as you speak the quote, the taste of every vowel washing down your throat as if you dedicate them to Carmen himself. Which, in bare and naked truth, you do. The only thing you could ever ask of Carmen was to let himself tear himself open with the hope and belief that you would crawl into his fears and convert them into profound discoveries. And the trust that you would not stitch him up with your own hands, but rather clasp your fists around the circumference of his wrists as he carefully closes the wound his trajectory of life has created.

"Wow." Carmen's eyes go another centimeter wider, the language still processing in his mind. He interprets it over and over again.

"I know. And—" you set your fork down so you can have complete focus as you recite your following question, "I was just wondering what you'd say if someone told you that, y'know? What would you tell them?"

Vulnerability, he thinks. Fuck.

"I mean...fuck that's—that's a good question. Um.." he chews on the flesh of his bottom lip once again, looking above at the warm glow of the light that hangs over your island counter as if he'll find the answer up there.

"I don't even like the good stuff about me, so. I'm not sure how to, like, articulate that? Is that the word?"

Now the quickening pace has started.

"And what do you think the good stuff about you is?"

Probing questions like this are somewhat too-close-for-comfort inquiries for friends. But Carmen would be stupid to mind it. He relishes in it, actually. With much guilt. But it's tainted with the secret pleasure of being cared for by someone he so deeply valued the opinions and thoughts of.

Since the first day you met, Carmen knew he would never go to anyone else for some piece of mind. For some sanity. Or even just for someone to explain the method to his madness. You understood it—what he believed.

"I care a lot, I think. But that's not always practical. It hardly ever is now that I think about it."

"You do. You care so much." You soften your tone, hesitantly reaching for Carmen's tattooed hand that rests on the cold marble counter.

"Sometimes it freaks me out."

"Like, this whole thing, the—the restaurant, where my life is right now, it makes me crazy. But it also keeps me..."

"Human," you finish.

"Yeah, human."

Though it takes him a couple seconds for his digits to not second guess themselves, he gently takes your hand in his. The slow pace in which he intertwines his fingers with yours is enough to kill you.

"Can I tell you something?" Carmen asks.

"Anything."

"You take good care of me. Of everyone, really." . His thumb gently rubs your warm skin, the rough and calloused mounds over his fingerprints soothing you. A deep breath moves in and out from his lungs as he meets your eyes again. This time, he won't look away.

"It's like you were made to just be good."

You smile, but you're not convinced you're certain on what he means. "Thank you, Carm. But—good?"

"I don't know. You're warm. I'm—I'm not like that. I'm not warm."

This, this is where truths as bare as untraveled paws of loyal dogs that roamed the streets in search of security uncover themselves.

"What? Of course you are." You lean forward, feeling your heart pound so hard it could leap out of your body.

"I don't think I am."

To think—no, to know that Carmen Berzatto cannot share at least one feature of his layered soul he genuinely likes. God, that pains you. You could write a million sonnets listing every little thing you adored about your friend.

"Carmen, you—" you sigh, your head dropping for a fraction of a second. "You have such a big heart. You're not cold or...or out of reach, or anything like that, okay?"

Even with Carmen's tendency for rage and his tattoos that displayed yet another callback to his culinary career—his way of speaking: so gentle and unsupported, you're certain that he is something so much greater than just a chef. He took care of people too. His staff, his clientele, his family—of you. Whether it was home cooked meals when you were sick, or when you needed to complain about Natalie. Carmen listened. Not as her brother, but as your friend. You don't really remember when you started to regularly see each other during his leisure. Either at the restaurant, or a coffee shop next door to your complex, and eventually his living room.

"This is so fucking selfish, but—"

No, Carmen. You could never be selfish.

But you let him be hungry. You want him to be hungry. Starving for reassurance. Because you'll feed him until the empty space in his existence is filled.

"I just wish you'd look after yourself the way you take care of me. Like, fuck, hearing you look at yourself and point out all this shit that nobody notices—which I wish they fucking would—because I notice them and I still love those things about you is..."

Oh, what a beautiful mind you've always had. He'll always store all the love you can't have for yourself in his own heart. Your wit, your intelligence, your smile, even down to the way you have to readjust the grip of your fountain pen as you inscribe your thoughts into your journal

"Wrong." He completed his thought with just one word. "I don't like it. It makes me sad," he says again.

That breaks you. So much that a tear sure to be followed by many more wells up in your waterline. The glisten of the salty liquid in your eyes startles the wonderful man across you. You can see the immediate guilt in his face, his blue eyes filled with concern and regret. But you shake your head, holding onto his forearm as he raises his hand to your cheek to catch the falling tear. Fuck being friends. Fuck small talk. Fuck jokes and laughs and cigarettes and poor communication that just ended in silence.

This was here and now. There was no going back.

With that, you cupped Carmen's own cheek, leaning closer and closer to his lips before he desperately kissed you. His free hand anchored itself on your shoulder blade while yours crawled to the back of his head to burry itself in his golden curls. Your taste was everything. Salty with pasta with a sweet aftertaste that echoed from your fruity lip balm, followed by a final twinge of bitterness from your glass of red wine. He tasted of comfort, of acceptance, something you'd never felt against your tastebuds from the previous years of the dating pool. With every separation of your lips to swallow gasps of air, the further the two of you hovered over the counter in a needy attempt to get closer.

You didn't need answers. Not a lot from him either. Just him. Forever.

tags: @lemmejustpulloutmylightsaber @sexyyounglatinoboy @febris-amatoria @diorrfairy

#carmen berzatto #the bear #carmen berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto fluff #carmen berzatto angst #carmen berzatto blurb #this took way too long #writers block is really killing me #im running out of ideas

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abouttofillhisshoes · 3 days

Text

Facedown - Matty Healy

A/N: I don't shag men irl, so soz if there are any inaccuracies regarding the ins and outs of anal xx thank you to my mates @beforeyougo-turnthebiglightoff, @man-im-so-high and @awellposhmagazine for indulging in my stupid questions and mental breakdowns in the GC❤️

wc: 7k

content warnings: smut, fluff, dirty talk, pegging, praise, also a bit of degradation depending on how you look at it, use of sex toys (strap), mentions of lingerie/matty in womens clothing, sex shops, spit, masochism, cursing, polaroids/cameras, so picture kink?, girlie immortalizes him in a picture let it be poetic

“I want you to fuck me.”

You choke on air. Matty is a blunt person, always has been, never really caring for beating around the bush. You didn't mind it, but you feel like he could’ve worded that a bit more eloquently. He’s laying on top of you, hair tickling the bottom of your chin, curls obstructing a bit of your vision.

“Okay, fucking hold up, what?” you're convinced you've misheard him. Even he wouldn't be that blunt. He takes a deep breath, his tone slow and condescending

“I said, I want you to fu-” you hit him, giggling in disbelief. He jumps back in surprise, a grin spreading onto his face. He was actually serious.

“I fucking heard what you said, jesus.” Matty has this look in his eye when he’s about to do something he knows you won't like, this glimmer in his eye, and you see it so clearly. His hand grabs your face, licking across your cheek, starting from the edge of your jaw. You squirm away, wiping your skin with your hand, throwing curses at him.

“Fuck's sake, you're like a dog. Behave and I'll give you a treat, christ.”

“Depends on what the treat is.” he winks at you, grinning widely as you screw your eyes shut in annoyance. He just wouldn't let up, like it would kill him to be PG for even five seconds.

“So?” he asks, referring to his original statement.

‘I want you to fuck me.’

His words echo through your head, making all sorts of images flash in front of your eyes. Of course he notices, trailing his fingers up your bare arm, making goosebumps kiss your skin in his wake.

It's hard to even think straight, the suddenness of the question making your head spin. The two of you had never talked about it before, thinking it wasn't even on the table.

“Are you- are you sure?” you stutter out, a small part of you scared he was joking, trying to see how you would react. His answer makes you sigh in relief.

“Never been more sure.'' He's smiling, a genuine, reassuring smile.

“Actually?”

“No, I meant metaphysically, philosophically-” he deadpans, but it takes only a few seconds for him to crack up laughing, burying his face into your chest, trying to stifle his giggles.

You breathe out, weaving a gentle hand through his hair, guiding him up to kiss you, lips locking as he gasps softly. You stay like that for a while, kissing and holding each other, neither wanting to let go.

“You're mental.” you mumble when he pulls away, brushing a small strand of hair out of your eyes, sweetly tucking it behind your ear.

“Yet, you love me.” It's so perfect. His body is warm against yours, acting as a sort of weighted blanket, pressing you into the sofa. The scent of his perfume is strong, tinged with a hint of the spliff you’d both smoked earlier.

—-------------------------------------------------------------

You can tell he’s never been in an actual sex shop by the was his eyes widen when you enter, flicking between the multitude of displays and posters, having no idea where or what to look at. His hand grasps yours, one goal in mind as you both step inside, heading towards a specific aisle. Strap-ons.

Even if it was his first visit, he seems immediately at home, casually browsing through strap-ons and vibrators like he was in a department store, looking at lampshades or containers. At some point, you manage to break away from him, finding yourself in the lingerie section, lace and silk and satin surrounding you on all sides. Your fingers graze over a specific pair of green lace panties, the material soft to the touch.

Your mind goes back to that night, to the memory of Matty, on your bed, shirtless and panting, the only thing concealing him a pair of lacey black womens underwear. You wonder if he’d be into it, buying more stuff like that, or if he maybe had more back home, hidden in a secret corner of his drawer.

You're snapped back into reality by a repetitive tap on your shoulder, turning around to see it was Matty. He was holding something in his hand; a light purple, see through strap, decorated with specks of glitter and incredibly detailed. You blush at the sight, before remembering where you actually were. It looked big in his hands, intimidating almost.

“This one’s pink and glittery! Fucking awesome, who knew they had so many types?” he booms, holding it up right in front of your face. A few people turn, but most ignore his loud proclamation, going back to their own shopping.

“You're so girly, Jesus christ.” you snigger, stifling a crude laugh. It was so Matty, always one to pick the most extravagant, out of the ordinary, even when it came to sex toys.

“Don’t make me fucking start-” he threatens, and you promptly cover his mouth with your palm, staring deep into his eyes.

“Shut it.” and to your surprise, he did.

He goes back to the isle he came from, looking for more options. You’d expected it to be more uncomfortable, but you felt light, like anything was on the table. Seeing him move out of your sight, you turn back to the fabric you’d been admiring earlier, running your fingers over it, and out of the corner of your eye, something shiny catches your attention. Garters.

Your core stirs at the thought of Matty in garters, maybe even stockings or heels. You wonder if he’d even be into it, or if that was where his adventures in femininity ended. Lost in your fantasies, you don't even realize you’d picked something up. A black garter, little heart details making it sparkle in the low light of the shop, leather and metal cool against your skin.

“Oh?” you hear a teasing voice say from behind, making you jump slightly. Clutching the object between your fingers, you spin around, eyes meeting Matty’s, and he has this filthy grin on his face, knowing he’s caught you.

“What's this?” he takes it from your hand, looking at it closely. His eyes light up when he realizes what it is, or more, who it's for. Matty’s ego inflates as he dangled in front of you, relishing in your flustered reaction, a blush creeping onto your face.

“Is this meant for me?” he asks, pressing it onto his thigh over his jeans, trying to figure out how it would look. He moves to the mirror located off to the side to get a better look, admiring himself in the mirror.

“You don't have to- it's just an idea.” you say defensively, scared he’ll find it weird or odd or-

“It's a wonderful one. Do tell me more, darling.” his hand trails up your arm, landing on your shoulder. You don't have time to react as he pulls you in for a kiss, short and hot. A suggestion.

You stare at him for a few moments, not sure how to react.

“What else do you want to see me in? This, perhaps?” he struts over to the lingerie section, picking up a pair of silk panties, showing them to you. You nod your head, earning a sly grin and a wink from Matty as he puts them into his little basket.

“Or are you more of a lace kinda gal?” There's a hint of tease in his voice as he holds up another pair. The green pair.

Your breath hitches as he stares at you, looking for a reaction, smiling victoriously when he sees it. Raising his eyebrows, he wordlessly adds them to the growing pile of merchandise he’s accumulated in the short span he’d been wandering around the store.

“Fucking hell.” you mutter under your breath as he grabs your hand, dragging you over to the garters. It all seems unreal, the way he confidently shows off the pieces over his clothes, ‘modeling’ for you in front of other shoppers, utterly shameless.

“I'll wear it for you, you just have to tell me what you want.” he parrots your words back at you. ‘Just tell me what you want, Matthew’

If only he knew.

“You look pretty in everything Matty, I'd rather you pick.”

“And I'd rather you be turned on, hm? C’mon, tell me, I don't bite.” you giggle a bit at his choice of words, the marks on your neck contradicting his statement.

“You like it when I'm pretty for you?” he whispers into your ear, the words going straight to your core. Your knees feel weak, ready to buckle at any moment if he keeps talking like that.

Nodding frantically, you press a small kiss to his lips, taking his hand. You lead him to the shoes, heels and boots of all heights and colors stacked neatly in piles against a wall.

“Oh, I'm liking this turn of events.” he grins, hands reaching out to touch a specific pair of black platforms, adorned with small gemstones along the strap. You had a similar pair, knowing just how hard they were here to walk in.

“You are?” you question, feeling his free hand wrap around your waist, bringing the shoes up for you to touch, the leather rough under your fingertips.

“You turn me on so much it fucking hurts. I love being your little fantasy, all dolled up for you.” he speaks slowly, quiet enough so that only you can hear. You cough, almost choking on air as he adds the shoes to the basket, walking off as though nothing happened.

“This one?” he asks, holding up another toy. A pale pink strap-on, less glittery than the last one, but still incredibly eye-catching. You eye him up and down, the way he stood like he was holding the most normal thing ever appalling you.

“You sure?” he nods enthusiastically, eyes silently begging you to say yes. “Imagine how pretty i’d look, imagine the pictures-”

Oh, he loved to tease you about those, your collection of filthy polaroids growing larger and larger the longer you were together, stashed at the bottom of your nightstand.

“Sure you can take it?'' The expression on his face is priceless as you fight fire with fire, his grin vanishing, being replaced with an embarrassed blush dusting his face.

He wordlessly adds it, walking off in the direction of the till. You follow closely, watching him take a bottle of lube (strawberry flavored, because it's Matty) from the shelf, placing it in the basket.

It was all so new, uncharted territory for both of you. Sure, he teased and you teased back, throwing witty retorts at each other until one eventually gave up, but you were both equally nervous and excited, the idea absolutely thrilling.

The bus ride back home is slightly awkward, the bags in your hands adorning the very obvious logo of the sex shop you’d just been in, earning judging glances from strangers. Matty remains unbothered, engrossed in an old edition of vogue he’d bought at check out. You watch him leaf through the pages, inspecting outfits and designs, muttering when he doesn't agree with them. It was endearing, watching him critique world famous fashion designers, like his opinion would hold and weight in a proper argument.

200 quid was what the trip had cost you, spending way more than you had planned. Matty had paid for it with his parents' money that they sent to him every so often, wanting him to be able to live comfortably even if they were away. You felt sort of bad, offering to use your own cash, quickly being swatted away by an insistent Matty.

“I have to pay, seeing as I am a gentleman. Besides, you're going to be taking great care of me later, so-” you manage to cut him off with a stealth elbow in the ribs, sparing the poor cashier from one of his terribly inappropriate rants.

—----------------------------------------------------

Home is comfortable, much unlike the harsh summer weather and the beating sun that waited for you outside. Unlocking the door, you've met with the soft hum of the air conditioner, the cool air kissing your skin. Matty lets out a relieved sigh as he finally sets down the bags, stretching his arms over his head. You catch a glimpse of his lower stomach, a small trail of hair traveling from his belly button and into the waistband of his pants, which were hung obscenely low on his hips.

“Do you want to-” you're cut off by Matty’s lips on yours, one hand gripping onto the base of your neck, the other pulling you in by the waist. Despite being almost three inches taller, you manage to overpower him quickly, pressing him into the wall behind him. He gasps against your lips, his fingers digging into your hips as you grasp him by the hair, tugging him down to meet you.

“Desperate, much?” you say condescending, one of your fingers trailing down the hollow of his throat, grazing the skin enough to leave a faint red mark.

He loved seeing the aftermath of you on his body, and you’ve caught him admiring himself in the mirror more than once, running his fingertips over the bruises and scratches, reliving the moments that caused them. It's not like he left you bare, either, the complete opposite, actually. Your neck was full of hickeys in various colors, some more faded than others.

He loved using his teeth, and had once left an incredibly obvious bite mark on the skin just above your collarbone, getting disgusted and borderline traumatized looks from both Ross and George. Adam never did mention i, but you caught him stealing glances at both of you, his tell tale ‘what the actual fuck did you do’ look on his face.

“You’re one to talk, don’t think I didnt see how you looked at me back there.” he smirks against your lips, tongue swiping along your bottom lip, pulling it between his teeth. You use your body weight to hold him up against the wall, pressing a knee right between his legs, a move he loved to use on you, and watching you grind against him is his favorite sight in the whole world.

His hips buck against your lower half, his hard-on brushing up against your thigh. He groans at the slight friction, repeating the action until you stop him.

“Please, fuck- please.” he breathes, eyeing the bag on the ground behind you with a look of pure lust on his face.

Your knees feel weak, your stomach flipping as he reaches out to touch your face, trailing his fingers down your jaw and onto your neck, lovingly pressing kisses all over your skin, almost as if to try and convince you of something.

Wordlessly, you grab him by the collar of his shirt, leading him down the long hallway and up the stairs, almost tripping. You near the bedroom, unable to take your hands off each other as he pathetically whimpers into your mouth, nails clawing at your back.

The door swings open and you push him forward until the back of his knees hit the bed, making him fall onto it.

“Been thinking ‘bout this for a while, haven't you?” he nods slowly, chest heaving from the sheer force of your kiss, leaving him breathless.

“You can’t imagine.” he answers, eyes looking up at you from his spot on the bed, wide and full of want.

“So pretty.” you whisper to yourself, reaching down to push his shirt up, revealing that little bit of hair on his stomach, so incredibly sexy it made your head spin.

“Take your shirt off for me, I'll be back.” you kiss him again, softly this time, not even looking at his reaction before turning around and disappearing through the door. Your legs carry you as fast as they can go, taking two steps at a time as you race downstairs, eyes settling on the hot pink paper bag left abandoned on the floor.

Rifling through the pile of various clothes, underwear, gags, toys; really anything you could think of, your breath hitches as your fingers brush against cold resin. Of course it was made of resin, ridiculously expensive as well, typical Matty. You laugh to yourself, taking a close look at the toy in your hands.

It was pale pink, hyper realistic veins running down the sides of it, the actual strappy part a deep purple, almost black. Your heart thrums against your ribcage, almost forgetting one vital thing: the lube.

The sight before you open the door again is one that should be chiseled into stone and hung up for thousands of years. Matty is on the bed, further up so that his head is resting on the metal bed frame up against the wall, it being more comfortable that way. His shirt is off, just like you had told him.

One thing made you freeze. His hand was covering his lower half, palming his obvious hard on through his insanely tight jeans. It looked painful, well hidden by the filthy smirk that tugged at the corners of his lips, making your heart skip a beat.

“Kept me waiting.'' His voice is low, raspy, and desperate, even if he tries to play it off. You move without thinking, watching his eyes flicker over to the toy in your hand, which you place onto the bed out of his reach.

“Not my fault you can't go five seconds without touching yourself.” you shoot back, kneeling onto the soft mattress.

“Sort of is, isn't it?” he sounds playful, almost giddy as you catch his lips in a kiss.

“You were begging so nicely before, what happened?” you fake pout at him, putting on a slightly condescending tone as he rolls his eyes at you.

“I caught my breath.” he says, hands settling on your hips as you straddle him properly, his aching cock grinding against the curve of your ass. It feels amazing, your ego swelling as you take him in, needy and wanting for you and you only.

“Yeah?”

“Might have to take it again.”

You get what he’s playing at immediately, reaching up to wrap your hand around his throat. Matty lets out a choked gasp, eyes widening at the sensation.

“Fuck-” he’s cut off by you pressing down harder, watching all the blood in his head rush down south.

“What? Couldn't quite hear you, speak up.” you taunt, loving watching him struggle to answer you, all that came out being needy gasps and curses.

“Please-” his breath hitches when you reach down to skillfully unbutton his pants with one hand, silently thanking the gods above he had decided to forgo a belt today, peeling the jeans off of him. He lets out a choked moan as you grip him through his boxers, wishing he had worn a pair of women’s panties, knowing it would rile you up even more.

“What? Use your words, Matthew, tell me what you want.” you tease, ignoring his silent begging, only slightly letting go of his throat, scared he wasn't properly getting oxygen.

“Touch me, please.” he manages to force out, tears of relief welling up in his eyes when you take him out of his boxers, stroking his cock lightly.

“This all for me? All because of that toy? Filthy, filthy boy.” his mind blanks, ecstacy overtaking his body and mind, the only thing he could think of was how fucking lucky he was. The strap is only visible in the corner of your eye as you kiss him hard, slipping your tongue into his mouth, drinking in every little gasp.

You dig your thumb into his slit, his hips arching off the bed and into your hand, spurts of precum leaking out of his tip. You smile at his reaction, one question still running through your mind. This was all so new, and you were riffing off of what you already knew he liked, trying to build up as much tension as possible.

“Have you done this before?” he takes a second to answer, slowly nodding his head. You motion for him to elaborate. A pang of insecurity rushes through you at the thought of him doing this with someone else, another person seeing him like this. You push it all down, turning your full attention to Matty.

“Only alone, trying some things out..” his voice is uncharacteristically small, eyes avoiding you as he stutters over the second part of his sentence, clearly a bit embarrassed.

“Oh yeah? Did it feel good?” you encourage him, desperate to make him feel as comfortable as possible. He smirks, and you can basically see the memories flash behind his eyes.

Alone, late at night. Curiosity striking, clothes hitting the floor of his old bedroom. A mess of lube and spit, fingers experimentally curling upwards and finally, finally hitting that perfect spot deep inside of him, making him moan into his pillow, trying to muffle the sound.

But of course, Matty has to do and say something so utterly stupid, it makes your eyes hurt from rolling them.

“It’ll feel so much better if you do it for me, darling. Treat me right and all, seeing as I am your girl-” you playfully hit his arm, effectively shutting him up. He wasn't fully wrong, but the way he worded it was purposefully supposed to make you cringe, your eyes screwing shut and hands going to cover your face in embarrassment.

“Shut up, what is your damage?” you ask, glaring at him as he tries his best to stifle his giggles. It's infectious, and soon you start laughing as well, falling into his arms, losing it at the ridiculousness of the situation.

“Can you take nothing seriously?” It's a rhetorical question, but he still answers.

“Nothing.” he drags out the word, mocking you.

You take this opportunity to tug at his cock, wiping the smug grin directly from his face. It was satisfying, watching him go from cocky and borderline bratty, to a sweet, moldable putty in the palm of your hand, willing to do whatever you asked of him.

“A-ah oh fuck, i’m not gonna- stop.” he gasps, trying to push you off. You fight back, pinning him down using your entire body, your fingertips ghosting over his cock.

“Gotta get you ready to take me, don't want it to hurt, do you?” your voice drips with lust, relishing in the wanton sounds he lets out at your words. Matty looks at you, mouth slightly ajar as if trying to say something. You nod at him.

“I can- I can show you. If you want. We both know how much you like to watch me.” he gestures to the camera sitting on the nightstand, grinning from ear to ear.

“Go on.” you whisper, your voice cracking.

He flips around, and you use this little bit of time to slip your own clothes off, leaving your shirt and panties on, settling onto the bed behind him.

His hands reach for the bottle of lube, blindly feeling around for it. You hand it to him with a sickly sweet smile, making his stomach flip as he spreads his legs, a performative moan leaving his lips as he uncaps it with his teeth, pouring the liquid onto his fingers.

It's weird, seeing him in this position, facedown against the mattress, tugging his boxers down with his clean hand. He can feel your eyes on him, raking over his milky skin, watching him take a deep breath as the cool lube hits his skin.

“You look pretty.” you hear him snigger into the pillow at the breathlessness of your voice. “Right? Good genes, innit?” he says smugly, craning his head around to get a look at your annoyed expression.

“Oh fuck off.” you smack him on the arse, taking the piss out of his stupid comments.

He gasps, and now it's your turn to be smug, grazing your nails over the skin you’d just hit

“Seriously? That turned you on?” he nods, tracing his lube covered fingers over his hole, shivering a bit before pushing one in.

A string of moans and curses spill from lips, panting as his back arches at the intrusion. You watch him with wide eyes, taking every minuscule twitch of his body as he curls them slightly, going even deeper. You commit everything to memory, wanting this moment to last forever, and you reach out to trail your hands down his sides, digging your slightly grown out nails into his hips, making him moan into the pillows.

“Giving me a proper show then. Anything to get my attention, right?” you mumble, leaning over him as he fingers himself for you, groaning and twitching against the mattress, overcome with pleasure.

“It’s working isn't it?” he forces out, the feeling of your chest pressed to his back making his eyes roll back in his head, his tip leaking spurts of precum onto the sheets

“Fuck, yeah, its working.”

His fingers brush up against a certain spot inside of him and he quite literally shakes, arching and pushing down onto his digits, his body begging for more. You watch, entranced in every movement he makes, in a sort of daze.

You could sense him gaining back a sense of confidence when he peers back at you, seeing your blissed out expression at the sight of him fucking himself open for you, moans and whimpers going straight to the growing heat in your core.

“Wanna fuck me? Make me moan for you?” he teases, moving his lube covered hand to his cock, tugging at himself as you pull him closer. The strap next to you burns a hole into your brain, and you reach for it, hand gliding over the resin.

“Wanna take a pretty picture with that little camera of yours?” That was the final straw that made you scramble up, fumbling with the fastens of the toy, unbuckling them and slipping it over your underwear, the weight of it a bit strange.

“I’m going to make you eat those words.” you threaten, one of your hands threading through his hair, pulling his face up before dropping it back onto the pillows. He whimpers at the sharp pain radiating from his scalp, spreading all the way to his fingertips that clutch the sheets so tightly, his knuckles look pale white.

“It's what I'm counting on, darling.” he winks, arching his back towards you, grinding his arse against your strap. This was really happening. Sucking in a deep breath, you steady yourself on your knees, taking the toy into your hand, circling his hole with it. A sigh of pleasure leaves his parted lips as he relaxes into the bed, arse up and face buried into the dark blue fabric of his pillow.

The sound of the lube covering the strap is a bit awkward, and you both laugh lightheartedly, nervous and excited to do this with each other, to each other. He groans as you finally line up with his entrance, the tip teasing him as he bucks back onto it.

“Want me to go slow?” you ask, slightly nervous, scared of doing something wrong or god forbid, hurting him in any way.

“Fuck me slow, yeah?” His words drip with lust, raspy and deliberately drawn out. He notices your hesitation, and his hand reaches back to grab yours, rubbing reassuring circles into the skin of your palm.

“Jesus, you make it sound so filthy.” His vulgar words were nothing new, his cocky manner only another tool to get you to lose it on him, never showing mercy. Just like he liked it. Rough, hard, fast, never ending pleasure until both of you were fully satisfied.

“Stop being a tease and just fuck me.” he was now at the point of making demands, blatantly ignoring the imbalance of power between you. You tut at him, nails digging into the fat of his arse, making him wince in pain.

“Not in a place to be demanding things from me, are you now?” your tone is deliciously condescending, making his cock involuntarily twitch under him, begging for attention.

“You want it just as much as me.” he breathes loudly, a feeble attempt at trying not to sound as desperate as he really was, not wanting to admit defeat.

“Make me mess, fuck me dumb, I know you want to.” an animalistic groan rips itself from your throat as you push into him, feeling the smallest bit of resistance at first.

Remembering his little reaction from earlier, you experimentally smack the side of his arse, right where its curve meets the top of his thigh, and he shudders beneath you, crying out in pleasure. You don't know what you're doing, but you do gain a flicker of confidence when he grinds down against the bed, mumbling into the pillow. Asking him to speak up, his face is now visible as he moans, hips pushing back onto the toy as you pull back out, leaving him feeling empty.

You snap your hips forward, a bit harsher this time, watching and listening for his reaction, wanting to make it feel as good as possible for him. He was trusting you with the most intimate part of him, giving up almost all control as his arms go slack under him, nothing holding his body up anymore.

“Fuckk, that's so good.” he breathes as you set a delicate but even rhythm, speeding up a bit with every thrust as he slowly gets used to the sensation. It takes a few minutes of fucking him at an agonizing pace until you feel his whole body tense up, a choked moan spilling from his parted, spit covered lips. Your breath hitches at the sight of him drooling, eyes screwed shut in pure bliss.

“OH FUCKK- right there right there right there jesus christ, fuck-” he curses, clawing around him, trying to find something to bring him back down to reality as your strap brushes up against his G-spot. There's a wet patch on the bed under him, precum covering the blue fabric of the sheets.

“Sound so pretty, all for me.” you hit that same spot over and over as he pathetically cries out your name, begging for you to go faster.

“Please, it's so good, so good, fuck me please oh FUCK.” you oblige, gripping onto his hips as you slam back into him, his back arching sharply as you pant, your cheeks a bright red. Your whole body is flushes crimson, your cunt clenching around nothing as you get off to the sounds and movements he makes, your witty words getting caught in the back of your throat

You're so incredibly turned on that everything else disappears around you, your only focus being a desperate Matty under you, writhing in pleasure as he experiences actual heaven, his whole body covered in a thin layer of sweat, making him glow in the dim light of the bedroom.

Sinful sounds fills the bedroom, reverberating off the walls making you feel dizzy, partially from the effort and partially from the boy in your bed, whimpering your name betweens strings of curses, begging you to just fuck him harder.

Matty, though he hates it, is awfully predictable. He has cues that let you know when he’s close, his voice pitching up several octaves as you slam into him, never faltering.

You take the opportunity to press your chest against the curve of his back, hard nipples rubbing against his skin through your thin shirt. Your voice is low, whispering lewd promises against his ear, occasionally nibbling at the skin, sucking a hickey into it.

“Gonna cum for me? I can see you leaking all over the sheets, dirty boy” he cries at your words, tears of overwhelming pleasure streaming down his face, leaving small stains on the pillow.

“Yesyesyes please don’t stop- so close.” he begs, every part of his body twitching and tensing, so close to the edge he could taste it.

You don't know what possesses you. Maybe it was his comment from earlier, his tone playful and teasing, eyes dark with desire.

“Wanna take a pretty picture with that little camera of yours?”

It's like a foreign force taking over your body. You still, ignoring Matty’s pleas for you to keep going, his hips bucking wildly onto the toy still deep inside of him.

“No- nonono please, i was so close, fuck.” you click your tongue at him, effectively shutting him up

He winces when you move, hand reaching for something on the nightstand, not even realizing what you were doing. The plastic is heavy in your hands, black lense staring back at you as you reposition yourself behind Matty, the tip of your strap teasing his hole.

He thinks you’ll continue as normal, that you'll give him what he’s been craving this entire time. All he wants to do is cum, mind so clouded with desire that he could barely speak properly

Your hands threads into his hair, his neck limp as you pull him up by it. Your fingers find the shutter, knowing you had to act fast to get the result you so desperately wanted.

Pulling his head further back so his whole face was visible, you position the camera in front of it, the sight of the lense making Matty’s heart skip a beat.

Right as you take the picture, you violently snap your hips forward, thrusting into him at a brutal pace, making his face contort in ecstasy, mouth falling open, revealing a pink tongue between his lips.

The camera flash is disorienting for him, the shutter barely heard over his impossibly loud moans, the sounds making you feel weightless.

He lets out a high laugh as he fully gets what you’d just done, only proving his earlier point further. His little victory is interrupted by his impending orgasm, the combination of the pressure from your strap on his G-spot and the delicious friction of the sheets rubbing against his cock sending him into a lust driven frenzy.

His moans are high pitched, almost feminine as he buries his face into his slack arms, trying to bite back his noises. You tell him to quit it, demanding to hear every single cry that leaves his lips.

“You’re such a brat, acting like I cant have you fucking purring under me in the blink of an eye.” you speak, an intense feeling of power and control taking your body as you slam into him, licking up the skin of his bare neck, making him shudder under your touch.

“I promise i’ll be good- just please let me cum.” he’s a blubbering mess, tears rolling down his cheeks as you tug harshly on his hair, the pain only making it harder for him to hold off his orgasm.

“Please- I need it so bad- fuck, please.”

“Oh, you need it, do you?” you taunt him, your fingers moving to shove their way into his mouth, pressing down on his wet, hot tongue. The whimper he lets out as you gag him makes your brain short circuit, your eyes are fixed on the way he grinds his hips to meet your frantic thrusts, desperate to get himself off.

“Go on then, cum all over our nice sheets. Make everything dirty, just like you are, aren't you darling?” the filthy words spill from your lips before you could even think, and Matty stills for a second before moaning around your fingers, bucking against the mattress.

“So good, so fucking good- oh my god, fuck, feels so good-” his words are muffled by your fingers, and as much as you need to hear him, you let it slide, wanting your perfect boy to finally come undone. He cums with a scream, an actual, guttural scream of your name, convulsing under your touch as you reach around and grip his cock, working him through his orgasm.

He gasps as ropes of cum paint the sheets, covering your hand. You slow down your thrusts, not wanting to rip him out of his dazed state just yet. He whimpers as you pull out, feeling strangely empty without you filling up every inch of him. His body is limp against the bed, chest heaving trying to take in as much oxygen as possible as he comes down from his high, slowly but surely.

You yelp when a hand grips the side of your arm suddenly, pulling you down onto the bed next to him. Matty’s sweet smile makes your heart swell up with love as you make eye contact, his brown eyes drooped half shut in pleasure.

“Fucking mint.” he breathes, giggling as you roll your eyes at his utterly unsexy reaction to you fucking his brains out.

“Really?”

His smile turns into a grin as he pulls you in for a kiss, lips pressing firmly against yours. You hand cups his cheeks, wiping aways what's left of his tears.

“I fucking love you, that was world altering, fuck me.”

“I already did, remember?” the opportunity was right there, and you both erupt into a fit of laughter at your bad jokes, grinning widely at each other. Matty lets out a grossed-out groan when he accidently rolls into the wet patch he had left in the bed, crying at the feeling of the damp fabric against his bare legs.

But, in typical Matty fashion, he opts to just cope, too lazy and fucked out to do anything about it. You try to convince him to get up, shower, maybe do anything except roll around in his cum soaked sheets. He flat out refuses, gripping your waist so tightly you felt Matty-shaped bruises form on the skin.

He forces you to lay with him, not letting you get up.

“Did it hurt?” you ask tentatively, genuinely curious. He shakes his head, trying to describe the sensation.

“A bit, but it felt really fucking great after about two seconds, so totally worth it.” he kisses you again, softer but still passionate, sucking your bottom lip between his teeth, biting down lightly.

“Did you like it?” he asks, trailing a finger up and down your arm, scratching it comfortingly.

All you can do is smile, the memory of what you felt making you giddy.

“I felt powerful.” you confess, a faint blush spreading onto your already flushed cheeks. Might as well let it all out, right?

“You like being powerful?” you nod your head, confirming the sneaking suspicion he’s had since that very first night on his living room sofa.

“I like it when you hurt me.” you laugh, that information having been painfully obvious for a while now.

“I know, darling, you make it so obvious.” he curses at you for quote un-quote ‘kink shaming’ him, immediately mentioning your little knack for photography.

“What do you do with the pictures?” you’ve never told him what happens to the polaroids after they properly develop, stashed in your nightstand drawer.

“I don't kiss and tell.” you snigger at his hurt reaction, now even more desperate to know what goes on in your mind when your finger presses down on the shutter, immortalizing Matty in a picture as small as the palm of your hand.

“That does not work if I'm the one you kissed, I’m afraid.” you dismiss him with a shake of your head, watching the hope leave his face. He nags you further, offering all sorts of services to get you to confess to him.

“I’ll show you sometime.” his eyes light up, ready to make yet another filthy comment. You press a finger to his lips, shushing him like he was a misbehaved child, smirking at his reaction.

“Only if you're good, though.” he nods his head so eagerly, you're afraid he might get whiplash as he shuffles closer to you, nuzzling his face into your shirt (well, his goal was clearly your tits, but you didn't need to know that.)

“I'll be so good for you, you’ll regret ever denying me.” you laugh, vowing to hold him to it.

124 notes · View notes

jaylver · 1 year

Text

jay as your bee eff <3

PAIRINGS: boyfie!jongseong x gn!reader

GENRE: established relationship, romance, fluff

WARNINGS: none, except this might be a little messy

WC: 575

A/N: in celebration of jay being back, here's something hehe, it's also really random and sudden but being a jay girl, i needed to write these down and delulu a little (come join me) share some of your thoughts with me through asks if you wants! (it's the best option bc i can't reply to comments help)

– most likely met through someone. friends or family, maybe even family friends. very invisible strings coded ngl.

– IMO he's very gold rush coded too! everybody wants him and that made you second guess, so that's why you never really chased after him

– but knowing jay, he's the type to never back down, he wants you, he is gonna get you. period.

– he's a passionate lover, he's the one to fall harder and deeper

– he would do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING to get you

– sacrificing his own to make time for you, bringing you out, listening to you, planning dates together

– cinema dates, dinner dates, he'll always find a way to spend time with you

– he would ALWAYS remember the smallest details about you

– "oh i remembered you said you like xx" and he turns up with that next

– you liked the cake he bought? it's going to be in his hands the next time you meet

– very lowkey about being rich, it's basically like the 'crazy rich asians' scene where she founds out he's rich 😭

– is the type to shower you with gifts even though you already said it's no need, but it's his way to showing you love by gift giving

– mutual pining, lots of mutual pining before being official

– he probably confessed to you in a really romantic poetic way let's be fr

– he's very affectionate, he loves with his HEART

– lowkey pda, doesn't like kissing in public but he does like skinships, he does like small kisses on cheeks, forehead pecks!

– holding hands, hands around your waist/shoulder, reassuring squeezes

– your family LOVES HIM!!! he might seem shy at first but he KNOWS how to charm your relatives

– your mum loves him, he's always over and helping her out, being the gentleman as ever!!

– family dinners with relatives, he would check up on you from time to time, squeezing your thigh in reassurance, telling you jokes and making you laugh

– from a 3rd pov y'all just seem like you're in your own world #cute

– REALLY GOOD AT COMMUNICATION!

– as someone who gets really quiet when mad, i feel like he'll definitely know, giving you space to calm down and then approaching you, making you feel better

– good with words, he knows what to say to make you feel better/less anxious

– for my swifties out there, he's very "all of the girls you loved before" coded to me ☹️☹️

– he gets possessive sometimes, but nothing serious, also can be a jealous boy at times

– he needs words of affirmation! he can get a little worried/insecure sometimes, so it's important to give assurance!

– he's talkative, you'll give all ears and listen to his rants

– being talkative, it also means he CAN NEVER stop talking about you <3

– to his friends, family, he'll just be saying "oh y/n loves this" whenever he sees something that reminds him of you, he's a big sweetheart wbk

– secretly loves it when you come and bug him when he works

– enjoys cuddling in bed, running his hand over your back and playing with your hair.

– loves when you play with his hair, his hands, just the most simple things ever and he loves them all

– when the lights are off and you two are still awake, best believe you'll be talking until late into the night.

– at the end of the day, he'll give you the most healthy and stable relationship ever <3 he's the absolute best !!!

– super husband material, get ready for your family/friends to start asking "when are you guys getting married?"

– soon!!

568 notes · View notes

robynlilyblack · 2 years

Text

No one messes with my guy

Remus Lupin x fem! slytherin! reader

Summary: Remus' girl is the least slytherin like slytherin the world had ever seen, but when she finds out he's getting bullied, she proves why she wears a green tie

Warnings: swearing, talks of scars and insecuirties, mean bullies, Remus getting picked on, mentions of sex, partial nudity and slightly heated scene near the end, kissing, alot of intimacy and fluff at the end, established relationship, reader is a badass good girl, hurt/comfort

A/n: 4.2k words, reader is like really lazily and sleeps everywhere, thank you for the request! enjoy xx

Navigation | Remus Lupin Masterlist

Remus fiddled with his quill, treating the now dry nip like it was a muggle pen, twirling it around in his fingers as he stared hopelessly at his page. He had been on this practice question for a while now, one originally left in hope it would suddenly come to him but it was now sitting there mocking him a mere half an hour later.

“Bu-” he stops himself, letting out a sweet chuckle at the sight before him

You had joined him for a study session just like you always did, and just like always you had fallen asleep during it. Cheek adorably squished up against the crook of your elbow, breathing soft, relaxed

You looked so peaceful. Serene

He envied you a little for being so carefree, feeling so safe you could sleep anywhere. The library, outside against a tree, in class, even the great hall on occasion. Still he smiled, that little bit of jealousy held nothing to love he possessed, never would he thought a slytherin would capture not only his heart but his friends

Yet how could they not, when you were the sweetest girl the world had ever seen? The girl that fell asleep on him anywhere and everywhere, the girl that could sleep as long as he did and with pleasure after full moons, the girl that had his heart entirely, so much that his fears faded away when you were near

He stands up, deciding to take a turn around the library and instead of waking you for help. Before he leaves he presses a kiss to your temple, heart fluttering as your lips tug up and you hum, cuddling into your crossed arm a little more

“Be back soon bun” he whispers like you could hear him, gifting your sleepy figure one last look before he heads down a random row of bookshelves

He doesn’t get far though, someone trips him up from behind, sending him crashing to the floor. Luckily his hands catch him just in time, but the sting in his knees and wrists from the impact do nothing for his already achy bones.

He groans, wincing as he looks up to see a two people he knew too well, and not for the better

“Some marauder you are” the girl scoffs “Nothing without your little friends”

“Even the fat one has thicker skin” the boy cackles at his own cruelty and Remus’ blood boils, yet he can’t find it in him to get up, fight back…not that he ever did

“What’s wrong scar face?” the girl mocks him, bending at the hip in order to belittle him further

“Just leave me alone” he closes his eyes for a second, his tone of someone clearly exhausted, dare say broken from the bullying that has been inflicted upon him for 7 years

“And why would we do that? You know for a bookworm you should love the poetic nature of a bully getting bullied” she lets out a laugh at the end

Remus finally pulls himself up, standing shaily as he replies “I’m not a bully” he says firmly, out of his friends the only bullies were Sirius and James, yet even they now had calmed and matured significantly

The girl crosses her arms, looking skeptical while the boy notices him looking backwards “Who are you looking for?” he asks but then his face lights up in a sinister like recognision “Ah. That little snake of a girlfriend”

Remus jaw clenches at the emphasis “Don’t bring her into this”

The girl laughs “Oh we won’t. Her dating you is a great joke in itself”

“Merlin every time I’ve seen you together she’s asleep”

“Bore her much?”

“Or maybe she pretends to sleep so she doesn’t have to look at that face”

They take turns at their insults, a quick fire of every insecurity he possesses, hitting him again and again, and it takes its toll

“Aww is the freak getting upset” the boy pouts at him

“Shut up” he begs them

“You’re pathetic Lupin, worthless” her words are cruel but her tone his crueller, so harsh Remus can feel it cutting into his heart “A joke of man by how much of a pale…” she stabs his chest with her finger “...sickly…” and again “...monster…” once more “...you are”

Monster

The last one cuts him deep, like they knew what he was. Really they just meant his appearance but still it hurt more than anything

“She’s a pretty thing ya know. That girl of yours” the boy states, taking a step towards him “Maybe I’ll take a crack at her once she comes to her scenes. Silly girl clearly, but purebloods stick together…besides sillier girls are easier to tame” he says the last part lowly, stepping past him and going on his miserable sod of a way

“Freak” the girl butts her shoulder into him as she passes by as well leaving Remus alone

He should have stood up for himself, punched the guy for his words, merlin he should kill him for what he said about you. But he didn’t, his fists softened, the tears fell, and he found himself leaning against the bookcases, head tilted upwards as he tried his best not to completely break down

Pathetic. Worthless. Freak.

You would come look for him once you’d woken up, which would be soon since you were funny like that. Even in your sleep you could sense his prolonged absence.

Monster.

Wiping his tears, he readies himself to pass off the hurt for pre-moon pain. He never thought you low enough to leave him for being weak, yet he would never let you know what just happened, what had been happening since they laid eyes on him in first year

Thankfully when he returns to his spot you’re still asleep. Sitting beside you again, he shrugs off his robes and pulls off his jumper, covering you with the first and placing the second under your head as a pillow

“Thank you Rem” you murmur, arm lazily coming down to hug his thigh, pulling it flush against yours

He felt instantly better at that, the pain from his exchange would remain, the insecurities he already had for himself and from them would linger on, but his heart knew they were just that, insecurities, they weren’t the truth. Besides, in a month he would graduate, he’d never need to see them again, and he’ll get to spend the rest of his life with you

“Anything for you bunny”

You were angry, beyond angry actually, you were damn near furious. It had been a week since you’d woken up and overheard your boyfriends bullies in the library, one week you had been gathering information on the two so you could destroy them at the right moment

And that moment was right now

“Hey!” you shout, startling more than one person, terrifying everyone in that corridor with just one glare

The sleepy girl in class had finally woken up on the wrong side of the bed, the girl who was inherently ‘not slytherin’ would destroy that title in threefold today

“Yeah I’m talking to you two” your eyes narrow in on them while the other students around you relax a little, they weren’t in your sights yet they still stepped back

Your shouts draw the attention of the marauders as well, all glancing up the hall to see what's going on, noting the large crowd

“Wonder what's happening” Peter says, sadly a little too short to see anything

“Probably some girl who caught her partner cheating” Sirius shakes his head with a small laugh “Y’all coming to watch” his face morphs into a smirk, his love of drama entertaining to his friends

“I’m good man enjoy” Remus says with a laugh, bidding Sirius goodbye as he stands with Peter, watching James climb up on a nearby window

“Watch yourself” Peter warns, hands moving to upwards to catch James if he fell

Remus was chuckling at his James’ laziness when he saw his eyes widen, before literally cleaning his glasses to check he was seeing it right.

Suddenly he jumps down, grabbing Remus by his cardigan and Peter by the wrist

“Prongs what the-” Remus is cut off

“It’s your girl” is all he says letting go of the boys but gently rubs Peters wrist to say sorry if he hurt it

“What?” Remus forcefully stops in his tracks, looking at James wide eyed

“It’s your girl” James points to the crowd, hithering for him to follow

“My girl” Remus looks at the crowd then James “My girl” it dawns on him, following swiftly

Meanwhile the girl and boy whose names you couldn’t give a lesser fuck about were finally bring their attention to you

“What do you what?” the girl glares at you but you see right through it, her eyes give away her fear and in all honesty you’d be scared of you right now too

Sirius arrived just then, mouth dropping in shock and backing up to go get the others when James wraps his arm around him and Remus and Peter appear on his other side.

Remus felt sick as he saw who you were in a confrontation with, wondering how you knew or if this was all some coincidence, but really, he knew the answer

“Leave him alone” you say scarily calm, a stark contrast to the rage within and your earlier shout

“Or what? What are you going to do about it sweetheart?” the boy steps forward

He was a little taller than you, and clearly trying to use that to intimidate you whilst simultaneously eying you like a piece of meat. You knew who he was, another arrogant rich pureblood whose name meant everything in his eyes but nothing in the real world.

You hadn’t seen your boyfriend or friends, all you could see was red and the two arses who dared hurt the sweetest man who ever lived. But if you had seen them, you would have saw James grabbing Sirius’ hand to stop him from punching the boy, while Peter does something similar for your boyfriend

“You know, my father knows your father” you start, watching the confusion take over his face but a few other slytherins including a younger brother of one of the marauders knew where this was going and grinned subtly “Prissy little fellow, strange isn’t it?” you ask almost rhetorically, almost, because you know the idiot will answer

You stepped towards him then, looking up at him with no fear, and, if anything, amusement

“What's strange?” he plays right into your trap

“Well your mother and father are quite small, even your grandparents are rather short, whole family actually…strange that you’re so tall is all” you muse earning sniggers from the crowd and the boys face falters “But alas your heritage isn’t my point” you smirk, glancing at the girl who looks like she's getting ready to run before your quiet calculated wrath turns towards her

“And your point?” his face hardens again, the fury in his eyes already marking your victory

“My father’s your boss” you state then seei the pure shock on his face “Didn’t know that huh?” you say teasingly

“Even if your father is his boss he can’t fire him based off you running to daddy over some narrative you’ve got in your pretty little head about your boyfriend” he tries to mock back, gain laughter on his side but there's a dead silence, almost uncomfortable as everyone can feel the second hand embarrassment

Your smirk grows

“Oh mister asswipe” that gains laughs and a cackle you recognise as Sirius’ “Can I call you asswipe?”

“N-”

“Good” you shut him up “Well mister asswipe, and little miss asswipe, don’t think I’ve forgotten about you dearie” you throw her a wink and that finally sends her running off, abandoning her ‘friend’ and you giggle “Looks like miss asswipe left the building” you shrug

Remus watches you amazed, seeing his girlfriend put his and so many others bullies in place was satisfying, almost empowering, to watch…although it also reminded him to never, ever, piss you off

“Your girl is fucking awesome” Sirius whispers, shaking his head and loving every second of this

“She's so cool” Peter smiles

“Chose well mate” James lifts his hand from Sirius’ shoulder and pats Remus’ back

Remus can barely splutter a 'thanks' back as he listens to the boy scoff

“Avoiding my question with a misdirect? Amateur y/l/n” he rolls his eyes, earning boos from the crowd that you would later find out was started by Sirius and James

“If anyone's an amateur it’s your father. Let’s face it he’s only got a job at the Ministry because he’s rich and pure blooded, and while my family may also possess those traits we have something your inbred one could never have”

“And what is that?”

“Respect, love...oh and class of course” you say simply “So, how would it affect your fathers already unsteady reputation when 3 to 4 dozen students come forward tomorrow with their statements of how you, and your little friend, have been bullying them for the last 7 years” you pose with a wicked grin, 'ohhh's' coming from the crowd around you and a 'damn' from who you can only assume was James

“I-ugh” he panics looking around the room and is met with no sympathy

“You see if there’s one thing even the purist of fuckers and the mugglest of muggleborns can agree on is what a piece of shit looks like and you, Mr Asswipe, are that…” you stab his chest exactly like the girl did last week “…piece…” again “…of…” and again “…shit”

The boy looked mortified and down right terrified, clearly hoping that situation was hypothetical but judging by your dementor and satified smirk, his reputation really would be going down the toilet tomorrow

Your smile dropped to a glare, ready to seal your final threat when you glanced briefly to the side, doubling back as you see Remus and your face softens immediately. He looked somewhere between shocked and impressed, but above all relieved, gifting you a funny looking yet grateful smile

You give him a quick one back before returning to the boy in front, face hardening to a menacing look once more “If you ever bully anyone again I will end you, but if you or your little friend dare come near my guy again, so much as breathe the wrong air around him I will do so much worse. So. much. worse” you say the last bit slower and lower, puting the fear of Salazar into the boy, who’s name we care not about "No one messes with my guy"

You point at him, trying not to laugh at fear on his face nor him literally shaking in his so last season boots

“Understood?” he nods quickly “Sorry princess, couldn’t hear you”

“U-understood”

“Good” he doesn’t move “You can leave now” and he does, quickly, like a penquin with his arse on fire, meanwhile the crowd claps

You give them a smile, seeing a couple professors pretending like they saw nothing in the corner of your eye, both wearing smirks.

Your main focus went to Remus, walking right up to him but you’re cut off by his friends

“Teach us” James gets down on knees as does Sirius both bowing their heads like you were a god

“If moony says no to marriage I’m here darling” Sirius adds earning a smack in the back of his head by Remus

“She’s my girl” his words and voice so soft yet so firm

“Sorry Siri” you shrug, throwing him a wink before taking your boyfriends hand and leading him away, leaving James and Sirius chucking while Peter gives you a rather adorable wave goodbye

There aren’t many words spoken on the way to his dorm, only the password to the portrait and a ‘you first’, both said by Remus in a whisper

“Are there actually people coming forward tomorrow?” He wonders, closing the door behind you

You giggle “Yup” you pop the p “He’s never gonna bother you or anyone again”

“How-” he’s cut off by you taking his hands and leading him towards the bed

“You remember last week at our study session?” You ask, dropping your hand from his and beginning to undo his tie

He nods “you heard them?” he asks, heart rate picking up at both the conversation and your soft movements

You slide off his tie, pads of your fingers pressing tenderly into his shirt as you push off his cardigan “I did” you admit, placing his tie and cardigan on a nearby chair

“Why didn’t you mention it?” He’s whispering now, breathless at the simple movements done with so much care

You begin unbuttoning his shirt, placing a sweet kiss on the new skin exposed with each one undone

“You didn’t want me to know” you say simply between kisses “So I plotted how to destroyed them”

He chuckles at that

“You succeeded there Bunny” he lets out a smile, a weight lifted for the first time in a long while

You continue to kiss down his chest to his stomach and Remus’ eyes flutter with each one

You untuck his shirt “You think I went a little far?” you meet his eyes, you felt no sympathy or guilt for what you did but you needed to know he felt it just

“Best thing I’ve ever seen” he wasn’t lying, seeing his girl humiliate his bullies was a little hot, he had no idea how much of a spitfire you could be when you wanted to

You smile, leaning in to kiss his nose “I thoroughly enjoyed it” your fingers run up his chest, gently playing with his dusting of hair as you do before you push off his shirt and place it with his other clothing

Remus takes over when you fingers move to your own tie “let me” he kisses your temple, nudging his nose deeper into your hair afterwards as he can’t express his gratitude through words

He takes off your emerald tie, placing it neatly with his own. He kisses your nose, adoring the scrunch and giggle while his hands find the hem of your jumper. Your hands go up without instruction, this dance had been done multiple times before, yet neither of you grew bored of it

His fingers find your buttons, copying your own movements and kissing as he goes. His fingers tickle your skin as he untucks it, and he catches it when you let it fall from your shoulders.

“Pretty bunny” he compliments, now sitting up on his knees and kissing just below your belly button

“Pretty wolf” you return, seeing the inner conflict in his eyes at it

You encourage him to stand up and he takes your extended hands which help him to his feet. You then unbuckle his belt and unzip his trousers, pushing them down just a little and letting them fall to his ankles before taking his hands again, needlessly but sweetly helping him step out of them

Left in his boxers Remus’ fingers hook around the band of your skirt, gently pulling it over your hips before allowing it to fall to the floor. He then moves you towards the bed, tugging your tights down to your thighs

“Sit down bunny” he gently asks, chuckling as you do sit but let your body fall back onto the bed, lifting your legs for him

He glides the tights off, placing them with your skirt while you sit up

“Is my night shirt still here?” you sit up, already unclasping your bra

He nods, grinning to himself as he goes to his dresser and catches a glimpse of you as he does.

Grabbing the shirt he turns back to find you have already gotten under the covers, sitting with your knees bent, arms lazily wrapped around them with a thin sheet covering yourself, back on full display for him

“Come here big guy” you tap the bed next to you

His face light up, cheeks raising as he climbs in next to you “Here Bunny” he holds out the shirt only for you to gently push his hand back

His eyebrows knit for all of two seconds before the raise, face flustering as the covers drop and you turn around, leg lifting up and over as you straddle him

You take the shirt from his now loose hand, while his eyes flick from your chest to your face but mostly to your chest until the shirt slides over them

“You’re killing me” he tells you, hands sliding up your bare thighs slowly

“I know” you say, pressing your lips together as you smile

“Cruel temptress” his hands find their way under your shirt, resting on your hips, thumbs caressing where your band of your underwear meets your bare thigh, tucking themselves into the crevice

You bite your lip, eyes trailing down his chest to the pudge of his stomach, loving the squish from his seated position

“Maybe…or perhaps you’re just so beautiful I can’t help myself” you say, causing his already dusted cheeks to kiss his eyelashes

“You really think so?” He asks, like he has too many times before but you still treat it like the first time

Cupping his cheeks you whisper “I know so” yet this time you have more to add “you aren’t pathetic nor are you worthless. You have more in that heart of yours than they could have in a hundred lifetimes. You are more than what you turn into once a month and the scars you have from them” you kiss the old wound on his nose “They are beautiful, they aren’t a reminder of a monster they’re a reminder of the brave…brave man in front of me” you peck his lips as you speak, unable to resist “You’re not a monster or a freak. You’re Remus, the man as pretty as the thing you’re named after”

His grip on your hips tightens slightly, bringing you that little bit closer as he leans his forehead on yours for a few seconds before pulling back, eyes a little glassy

“I adore you” is all he says, no denial of his beauty, no argument that he was indeed a monster, no, none of that this time

You smile “I adore me too” you quip, yelping a little as he nips your sides “Meany” you giggle before one hand drifts up and pulls you in for a kiss

Sadly, you pull away early, much to his, and your, disappointment but you can’t let it go unsaid

“I love you”

He didn’t need the confirmation, everything you just said, did and were doing for him confirmed your love.

Still, hearing those words completed him

“Say it again”

“I love you” you repeat, chewing on your lip as his hand moves back to your hips to pull you impossibly closer

“One more” he whispers, leaning in, lips brushing

“I love you Remus lupin” your lips tickle his, both smiling before your lips meet again

Your hand finds his chest, palms flat against it, while his move up and down your waist. Lips moving in sync while your bodies try to move closer, merge as one. His tongue sliding out and over your lips, diving in when you grant permission

“Hey you’ll never…oh hello”

You and Remus jump at the noise, lips disconnecting with a small trail of saliva as you turn your head to see James and Sirius at the door, the former with Peter asleep in his arms as a rat and the latter with food from the kitchens

Remus’ hand lowered your shirt the moment the door clicked open, hands resting on your bum to ensure it was covered. While you wipe your now plumb lips with a shy smile on your face

Sirius was smiling while James raised an eyebrow “You two doing it right now or is this still the lead up?” He wonders motioning

You giggle, tucking your head into the crook of Remus’ neck while he answers “Out” he points

Sirius chuckles, turning to James “Told ya he’d get turned on by…”

“Pads” Remus scolds, cheeks heating up so fast you can feel it creeping up his neck

“What?” Sirius shrugs while James pushes him out of the room mouthing ‘sorry’ although that was mostly for you when you peak out at them

The moment the door shuts again you and Remus start laughing, especially at the muffled “be safe” from Sirius

“So” Remus starts once the laughter dies down

“So” you tug your bottom lip between your teeth, hands finding his and playing with them

“What do you want to do?” He asks, although he’s pretty sure he knows the answer

“You know what” you grin at him

He lets out a chuckle “Come on then” you both wiggle down on the bed until his head meets the pillow

You smile to yourself, shifting your weight to one side and lowering yourself to lay beside him. Remus reaches down and grabs the covers, pulling them up until your shoulder, as your head moves to lay in the crook of his shoulder

“I love you rem” you kiss the side of his chest, leg and hand moving around him

“Love you too bunny” he kisses your hair, arms wrapping securely around you “sweet dreams”

“Sweet dreams” you murmur, somehow already falling asleep

Remus just smiles down at you, not one hour ago you had the entire school afraid and in shock, while now it was like none of that ever happened and you were his sleepy bunny again…and he was your guy, your wolf…

Your moon

Thank you for reading 💛 (a/n: hope someone got the doctor who reference in there)

#remus lupin and reader #remus lupin and you #remus lupin and y/n #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin #young remus lupin #remus lupin x y/n #remus lupin x you #remus and reader #remus x reader #remus x you #remus x y/n #remus and you #remus and y/n #marauders era #marauders #robynsrequests

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lord-sharl-perceval · 1 year

Text

Champagne Problems

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Reader Summary: In which they maintain the ruse to get back at someone of her past. Warnings: fluff, angst, fake dating, overly romanticized for entertainment purposes, made up girlfriend of Carlos & Pierre, google translated french. Notes: sorry, for not uploading any time sooner, but I was busy with uni! Also english is not my first language, so criticism is always welcome, but please be kind xx NOT proof read yet! Word count: 7.2K

Masterlist

Part One: The Sweet Stranger

Part Two: The Deal

Part Three: Karma Is My Boyfriend

»your mom's ring in your pocket, her picture in your wallet, you won't remember all my champagne problems«

"Charles" you breathed.

"That is not true. You said it yourself, love is a choice and sometimes people stop choosing" you spoke under your breath, still holding his warm hand.

"Are you bluffing to cheer me up, y/n?" He spoke, the corner of his mouth quirking up.

"No, I'm not"

Charles narrowed his brows, doubting the truthfulness of your words.

"Only the bravest dare to love" you continued, locking eyes with him.

"Because love is painful, we just have to find the one worth the pain"

"And what about the people incapable of love?" He whispered back, his voice sounding raspy and deep. Bringing up the sort of people you used to categorize yourself as.

"They aren't incapable of love, they're just scared of getting hurt" you admitted.

"Scared of losing themselves in love" the words left your lips feathery.

Tension gradually built up between you two. There was something intimate, almost poetic in laying close to one another under the clear night sky having the same conversation a year later, only with altered notions.

"I see you have reflected on my words" Charles murmured, his eyes looking down on your lips. Your heart started to hysterically pound in your rib cage, hearing the blood flushing in your ear.

"Yeah" you replied scarcely audible.

Just as Charles wanted to lean forward to put his beautifully defined lips on yours, you backed away.

"You're hurt, Charles, you don't really want that"

"Have a safe flight, text me when you land" the monegasque said with a crooked smile on his lips.

"I will" you assured, wrapping your arms around his torso, feeling his arms embrace your body and pulling you closer.

You lost track of time, the hug that could have only lasted a few seconds, felt like minutes. Your senses sharpened, taking as much in as possible within the limited time. The warmth of his body, the smell of his perfume, the way his hands gripped your waist. You both held tight onto one another, deep down not wanting the first ever hug to presumably be your last.

"Thank you" he whispered into your ear, his nose and lips brushing your cheek as he let go off you, unintentionally elevating your heartbeat.

"Anytime" you faintly smiled, waving him goodbye one last time, before you turned around and strode to the passport control.

Charles stood still, watching you pass your passport to the officer, secretly hoping you would turn around one last time, but he knew better.

You weren't one to look back.

Just as the last spark of hope was about to go out, you turned around meeting the brunette's eyes, flashing him a soft smile before you eventually disappeared out of his sight.

As soon as you reached the particular waiting area, you sat down awaiting permission to board the plane. In the meantime you caught yourself reminiscing about what you had experienced the previous day. The fun you had cruising through some of the french cities close to Monaco, Charles' showing you the beauty of the Côte d'Azur and reminding you of what it felt like to be unconditionally happy.

The south of france was marvellous, the perfect getaway for a busy woman trying to escape reality even if it was just for one day.

"What was the hardest case you ever had to handle?" Charles enquired interestedly, while you were strolling on the promenade in Nice.

"Child molesters cases are always the hardest, that's why I stopped taking them. But there was this one guy, wasn't a hard case per se, but it was tricky nonetheless, 'cause he suffered from Bipolar Disorder and wanted to build a library in his home, that made him buy ten thousand pound worth of books he couldn't afford"

"Oh damn" he replied astonished.

"And you had to asses his criminal liability?"

"Exactly, he was found not criminally responsible due to his manic episode in which he didn't have any control over his actions whatsoever" you explained.

"That's rough"

You nodded.

"Yeah, indeed"

"Do you do that in everyday life? Analyzing people?"

"Only people that interest me" you grinned playfully and carefully watched Charles' expression that showed fear of exposure.

"Relax!" You said, punching his shoulder.

"To properly analyze, I'd have to ask the right questions"

While daydreaming you became aware of an odd feeling of emptiness laced with gloom creeping up on you, resulting in a small, eternal panic attack.

You knew that feeling and it couldn't be good.

Repeatedly you told yourself that it meant nothing, you did him a favor and Charles nicely returned it by taking you on a short road trip.

It meant absolutely nothing.

You and Charles came from two different worlds. He was a public figure, who raced for a living and you were an ordinary woman with a normal job. To restore order you ultimately had to return to your own worlds.

Luckily, the lady working for the airline you were traveling with interrupted your train of thoughts by announcing that the passengers may now board the aeroplane.

You got in line and waited your turn, putting in your AirPods to kill time, whilst scrolling through your Instagram until you were next in line and showed the employee your passport. After she waved you through, you exited the waiting area and wandered towards the plane.

At the entrance you were politely greeted by the boardcrew, whom you greeted back and walked down the aisle until you found your seat. After you stored your bag into the overhead lockers, you sat down on the assigned passenger seat and put your seatbelt on. While you still could, you texted everyone back, informing your youngest brother that you had just boarded the plane, so he could plan when to pick you up from the airport.

Absorbed in thoughts your mind replayed the memory of the night Charles tried to kiss you. Closely after you had told him that he was acting upon his hurt feelings you alertly watched his expression, fearing to have upset the monegasque, because he kept a straight face not revealing his feelings.

At first you thought, you had ruined it, but thankfully Charles mumbled a "I'm sorry" shortly after and shot you an exhausted smile.

You then snuggled up to him, his hand still entwined with yours, laying your head in the crook of his neck.

Your upper body was partly laying on his, your clasped hands resting on his belly. Both of you enjoyed the moment, sensing your heart rates synchronizing, beating in the same rhythm.

Charles was the first man to be this close to you after you broke off things with your ex-boyfriend, no other man was able to arouse the need of closeness inside of you before. Instead of experiencing anxiety, whenever a man tried to come close to you, his nearness felt soothing and so naturally as though you were always meant to lay next to each other that night.

The next morning Charles revisited the topic of the night before, excusing his behavior and thanking you repeatedly for stopping him. You shrugged it off, telling him not to worry about it and since then you two hadn't mentioned it again. Both knowing it was for the best.

Cruel Summer by Taylor Swift came on and you couldn't help but associate the past few days with that song, leading you to look outside of the narrow window of the plane and paying attention to every lyric.

"It's blue, the feeling I've got and it's ooh, whoa, oh. It's a cruel summer"

A deep sigh escaped your lips. You hadn't expected to be effected by the weekend this much. Now you were feeling blue, mourning the relationship you had had, missing the feeling of oxytocin releasing whenever a certain someone held you. You went from being a content single woman to one longing for a relationship again.

It was indeed a cruel summer.

You spent the rest of the two hour flight listening to more Taylor Swift and moping around.

Everything went according to plan, your brother picked you up from Heathrow and drove you home, asking how your short trip to Monaco was to which you responded that it was good and exactly what you needed, when in reality it was the quite opposite. If you had known, that going to Monte Carlo with Charles messed with your emotional life, you wouldn't have agreed to go in the first place.

Once you reached your apartment you texted Charles that you had arrived safe and sound as he requested, not anticipating that you initiated a conversation leading to another. Before you knew it you were texting back and forth, even talking on the phone in course of months, developing a real friendship. It even had got to the point where you started actively watching Formula One to support your friend, texting or calling him no matter the outcome.

"You're glowing, are you seeing someone?"

"What are you smiling at? Has your secret lover texted you?"

"You look happier these days"

You were hearing comments like these all the time and while there was a wisp of truth in their statements, you were not ready to admit it to yourself yet. Charles wasn't your lover, you pretended to be a couple once and now you were good friends. And friends could make each other happy and pay one another a surprise visit, couldnt they?

Of course you had contacted Arthur Leclerc beforehand, ensuring that you wouldn't inconvenience Charles with your presence at the Italian Grand Prix, whereupon Arthur suggested you surprise him after the race to not distract your boyfriend from his duty.

You felt bad for keeping up this farce, Arthur seemed to be a very nice guy, surely not deserving to be part of your self-serving plan. But you knew better than to meddle in family business, instead you played along and gratefully accepted Arthur's help. However the purpose of this trip to Monza wasn't only to bring Charles joy, it was because you needed to get out of London after learning unpleasant news. News you preferred to discuss with Charles in person. Conventionally there were no races taking place after Monza for two weeks, giving you the perfect excuse to finally visit Italy, a country you had always wanted to see.

Naturally your family started to ask questions and demanded to meet the mysterious man you're seeing, putting you under a lot of pressure, which led to you repeatedly telling them that you were just friends. But given the circumstances, they didn't believe you.

Charles' busy schedule thankfully worked in your favor, hence you always had a good reason ready, whenever one of your family members opened up the conversation about your friend and why they couldn't invite him for dinner.

"You okay? You seem a little off" Charles asked with a frown on his forehead.

You grabbed your phone with him on the screen and crawled into bed.

"I'm having a rough case at work" you lied, whithholding the true reason behind your absent-mindedness.

"Sorry" you apologized, tucking yourself up.

"Wanna talk about it?" He sweetly asked, but you shook your head in response.

"Maybe some other time, thanks" you shot him a tired smile.

"Does the Ferrari home race put extra pressure on you?"

Charles pulled up the hood of his black Hoodie and nodded.

"Yeah, it does" he replied, a deep sigh following shortly after.

"But qualitying went well, so I'm pretty confident"

"Pole position is a good opportunity to win a race"

"I like the fact that you started watching Formula One because of me" he grinned.

"Yeah, I like seeing that cute dutch guy kick your ass" you countered, teasing him with his biggest rival Max Verstappen.

"Verstappen is not cute" Charles spat, rolling his eyes in annoyance.

"He's cute when he smiles on that podium" you replied sassy, enjoying pissing off Charles.

"Ouch" he pouted, crossing his arms.

There was just something about the way he sat on the bed, looking cuddly in his oversized hoodie. A soft smile appearing on his lips, his tired eyes dreamily gazing at the camera. It gave you a fuzzy feeling.

Tomorrow I'll see you again you thought.

Subconsciously you were replaying the moment of how Charles wrapped his arms around your body and gave you that right and safe feeling, like you had always belonged into his arms.

Tomorrow.

By this time you were both laying on your sides, barely being able to keep your eyes open, talking about all kind of different things like most nights until you both fell asleep.

The next morning you took a taxi to Heathrow, went through security and waited the last half an hour until you could board the plane. Though the flight only took two hours, you managed to catch up on some sleep before you landed in Milan and were picked up by the youngest Leclerc.

"Hey y/n!" Arthur pulled you into a warm hug as soon as you were in reach and relieved you of your suitcase after you let go of one another.

"Hope you had a pleasant flight"

"Yeah, it was fine, thank you" you smiled.

"You look tired, lucky for you we still have an hour drive ahead of us to Monza" he shot you a playful glance.

"Maybe catch up on some sleep to get rid of the shadows under your eyes" Arthur added, teasing you.

"You're horrible!" you laughed, loving how familiar you already were around each other.

"I'm just kidding, I swear" he said, raising his hands.

In the car you had no troubles finding topics to talk about, Charles' little brother was as bubbly and easy going as him. You felt comfortable around him up until Arthur revealed that he unravelled your webs of lies.

"Look, I know you're not really dating my brother"

Shocked you turned your head into his direction, trying to say something but only splutter came out of your mouth.

"Charles didn't tell me of course, but I know my brother. Lorenzo and I know our brother" he briefly looked over to you.

"We knew something was off, especially because there is no way he could've genuinely fallen in love or start something casual with someone he met during a get together. Not with this crazy schedule and top of that not without telling anyone" Arthur proceeded.

"Plus the break-up with Violette messed him up pretty badly. That's why Lorenzo was so rude to you, he thought you were taking advantage of Charles' vulnerability"

"No, I promise" you immediately said.

"Charles and I are friends. He did me a favor once, so I returned it by accompanying him to that jewellery event" you continued, breathing a sigh.

"But how did you discover the truth?"

"At first I thought the same as Lorenzo, 'cause I couldn't think of something plausible, but then I overheard Charles FaceTiming you. I know, eavesdropping is disrespectful" he flashed you an apologetic look.

"But I heard you saying that you don't feel comfortable accepting our mother's invitation to dinner, 'cause you don't wanna lie to her about being his girlfriend and then it all made sense up there" the monegasque pointed to his blonde head.

"In addition to that you just confirmed my assumption" Arthur grinned, looking over to you.

"But I'm dying to know how it all started"

So you enlightened him, telling Arthur all about how Charles and you met on the Tower Bridge a year and couple months ago right up to how he had randomly called you two months ago to ask for the favor and that you had been texting and FaceTiming ever since then, having unintentionally formed a close friendship.

"Not gonna lie the concept of trusting a stranger more than your close ones has a ring to it" Arthur laughed, but you could tell he was slightly hurt.

"It's not about trusting more, it's about embarrassment. I, for instance, was too embarrassed to tell my friends and family that I didn't wanna get married without having an 'apparent' reason. Talking to Charles, a total stranger at that time, really helped, 'cause I didn't have to live up to any expectations, you know?"

You looked over to Arthur, who just nodded.

"When Charles called me up and asked me to be his company, he was embarrassed as well. It wasn't that he trusted me more, but I was a stranger, he couldn't care less what I'd think of him. But with family and friends it's different" you clarified the whole situation.

"I understand" he flashed you a faint smile.

"I'm glad, he has found someone like you"

"I'm glad, I found someone like him too"

When you arrived, you were late intentionally, so Charles wouldn't see you. However Arthur's older brothers spammed him with calls, which the youngest Leclerc brother knowingly ignored.

"We gotta hurry" he said, handing you the VIP Paddock Pass to hang around your neck.

"Lorenzo is gonna murder me" he mumbled, picking up the pace. You dashed through security and sprinted to the VIP area, where Lorenzo welcomed his brother with angry french scolding and you with a disapproving look.

All the Formula One drivers were already sitting in their cars, Charles on pole position followed by the Red Bull driver Max Verstappen.

The moment the light turned green, the drivers went full throttle, causing your heart to skip a beat.

You were eagerly watching the race, unable to shift your attention elsewhere, fearing you would miss something. The only time your eyes left the huge screen was when you were asking Arthur questions to clear up your confusion about certain things.

Since you started genuinely watching Formula One, you understood what it meant to get excited about a sport. You finally discovered the beauty of it, how it brought people together and made them bond. You even got Lorenzo to explain a thing or two to you without trying to glare you to death.

Before you knew it, the race was nearly over, time flew like those cars almost flew over the grid.

The last few laps were nerve wrecking, Charles was fighting for the first place with his Ferrari teammate Carlos Sainz. Like being on tenderhooks you were alertly watching Charles trying to keep his leading position.

Eventually on the penultimate lap Charles was able to put Sainz off, with the gap between the two drivers growing bigger.

When Charles crossed the finish line, the crowd went crazy and so did you and his brothers. Arthur grabbed you by the arm and motioned you to follow him to the barriers to surprise his brother right after his win. You saw Charles climbing out of his racing car, cheering towards the crowd. He then carefully took off his helmet, revealing his beaming smile. After depositing his helmet on the car, he excitedly ran towards the barriers firstly hugging all the pit crew members, shortly after joined by his teammate that won second place. Charles and Carlos Sainz exchanged hugs as well, both proud to have won the home race for their team.

As Charles moved on, his eyes met yours. Confused he started running towards you, not fully believing his eyes until you were standing face to face.

His hair rampled, his gorgeous hazel eyes sparkling in excitement, the beautifully contoured lips slightly parted.

"What are you doing here?" He whispered overwhelmed, instantly pulling you into his embrace.

"I came here to see you. Congratulations!" you replied, putting your arms around his neck, feeling how much his heart was hammering against his rib cage.

"Sorry, I'm all sweaty" he apologized, letting go of you to lean his forehead against yours, wearing a soft smile on his lips.

"It's fine" you chuckled.

"You did it, Champ. You overtook Verstappen"

"I did" Charles exhaled full of relief.

"Sorry y/n, it's our turn now" Arthur interrupted and pulled his brother away from you, hugging him.

When everyone finished hugging and congratulating this year's winner of the italian Grand Prix, Charles briefly returned to you.

"I'll be right back, promise" the monegasque said, flashing you his typical dazzling smile before he disappeared.

Soon later the podium ceremony started, Charles standing on the highest step with Carlos Sainz on his right and Max Verstappen on his left. A combination of the monegasque and italian anthem started playing, honoring Charles' win as well as the win of Ferrari's constructor, who was standing on a seperate podium. Subsequently Charles was handed his glorious trophy followed by the representative of the constructor's team, Carlos Sainz and lastly Max Verstappen.

Charles kissed his precious trophy before he lifted it with a big fat smile on his face, celebrating his victory with the Ferrari fans. After the drivers trophies were put aside, they continued with the famous Champagne celebrations, spraying each other with the sparkling liquid.

After the procedure of the winning ceremony was done, you went to the paddock with Arthur and Lorenzo to wait for Charles.

By the time the Ferrari duo arrived, you had got to know Carlos Sainz' girlfriend Alyssa, who you ran into on your way to the Ferrari garage.

Both soaked in champagne they opened their racing suits and left the upper half hang down to give you a hug without staining your clothes with champagne.

Charles introduced you to his fellow teamate and the second you told Carlos that it was nice meeting him, the spaniard raised his eyebrows.

"Oh british" he stated, swiftly facing Charles.

"Is that London Girl?" Carlos asked his teammate with a crooked smile on his lips.

The monegasque awkwardly rubbed his neck while nodding, his cheeks turning crimson.

"Yeah, she's the girl I met in London" he stammered.

"So you guys are dating?" Carlos interestedly asked, raising one of his thick brows.

Not sure what to reply, you looked at Charles for help, who grabbed you by the waist and tugged you closer to him.

"Yeah" the brunette then said and looked at you smiling.

"Since when?"

Just as you needed to come up with another lie a blonde guy joined you, thankfully interrupting the awkward conversation about your fake relationship to congratulate Charles and Carlos with a brotherly handshake and tap on the back and went over to the other Leclcercs and Alyssa to greet them as well.

"Hi, Pierre" Alpine's driver politely introduced himself to you.

"Pierre, that's London Girl" Carlos cheekily interposed.

The fact that Charles' friends knew about you, flattered you so much, you could feel how the blood rushed into your cheeks.

"Give it a rest, mate" Charles barked, flashing him a warning glare.

"Hi, y/n" you disclosed your name to Pierre Gasly, trying to act as natural as possible, after Carlos' remark to Pierre, who examined you from head to toe.

"Finally we get to meet the girl that Charles told us so much about" the frenchman said, grinning at his monegasque friend.

"We'll need an explanation, mate" Carlos too focused his eyes on the monegasque.

"Later" Charles grunted, obviously containing himself from attacking his colleagues for exposing him like that in front you.

"I'm all sticky, gotta get a shower" Charles looked over to you and placed a soft kiss on your temple.

"I'm sorry for keeping you waiting all the time"

"No, don't worry about it" you shyly shrugged it off.

Meanwhile Charles and Carlos were washing up, you were bridging the gap with Alyssa and the Leclerc brothers. Pierre returned to his team's garage to freshen up as well and agreed to meet you for dinner to celebrate his friend's victory.

On the way to the hotel, you rode with Charles and the first thing you did was enlighten him about his baby brother seeing through your act.

"Please tell Lorenzo and your Mom" you literally begged.

"I don't want you to lie to the people closest to you"

"Wait, are you upset I told Carlos and Alyssa we were a couple?" Charles asked, shooting you a worried look.

"No, it's not that, Charles. It's that I don't wanna cause any problems between you and your family and friends. Secrets tear people apart"

"How did that little shit find out in the first place?" He wondered upset.

"He heard us FaceTiming"

"Imma beat the crap out of him for eavesdropping" Charles huffed, visibly angry with his younger brother.

"Don't. He was worried about you" you defended Arthur.

"Worried about me? why the fuck?"

"He thought I was taking advantage of you" you admitted.

"Lorenzo still thinks that"

Charles inhaled sharply, running his fingers through his already tousled hair.

"Fine, I'll talk to him"

"Please, Charles. Don't be mad, today is your day. You're supposed be happy and celebrating. You fucking won in Monza, for the first time you have more points than Verstappen" you grabbed his hand, that was resting on his thigh and interlocked your fingers.

"You're right" he said calmly, squeezing your hand.

Soon after you arrived at the hotel, you quickly got in to rest and unpack your stuff to get ready for dinner. Arthur didn't let you book a hotel room and demanded to take care of the reservation and booked you a room on the same floor as Charles.

You went for a strapless top with lacey sleeves and ripped skinny jeans combined with plateau heels and a matching purse. You agreed to meet the Leclerc brothers in the lobby, so when you arrived, you spotted them sitting on leather couches scrolling through their cells.

"I hope, I didn't keep you waiting for too long" you excused yourself.

All three brothers looked up to you at the same time, but only Charles' glance lingered on you, couldn't detain himself from checking you out.

"Shall we?" You asked, blushing.

"Shut your mouth, brother, there's a bus coming!" Arthur scoffed, chuckling with Lorenzo joining him.

"La ferme, Arthur" (shut up, Arthur) Charles hissed through gritted teeth and got up.

"Charles" Lorenzo warned and then turned to their youngest brother.

"Tiens-toi bien" (behave yourself)

When you arrived, the waiter of the posh restaurant seated you at the table, where Carlos, Alyssa, Pierre and his company were already awaiting you.

The food was great, the atmosphere joyful. Alyssa and Helena were great gals with whom you connected immediately.

It felt genuine and right, if it weren't for the fake relationship.

You called it a night earlier than the rest, so you resorted to the pretentious hotel.

You and Charles changed into more comfortable clothes before he knocked on your door to hang out, before you go to sleep.

The second the door of your hotel room engaged in the lock, you walked up to the monegasque, looking up into his pretty, hazel eyes.

"I came here to embarrass myself"

"What is it?" He asked a smirk spreading across his face.

You breathed out loudly, crawling into the kingsize bed and motioned Charles to join you.

"It's kinda messed up" you warned, slipping your feet underneath the blanket.

"I'm listening" Charles said, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

"Benjamin, my father's godchild is getting married next friday and Will, my Ex is going to be at the wedding" you began.

"With my former best friend as his plus one" you said in addition and watched how Charles' expression changed to dismay.

"That's fucking messed up" he panted and shook his head in disbelief.

"I know right, so I was wondering-"

"Say no more. I'll be your date at the wedding" the monegasque got ahead of you and answered your unspoken question.

"You're the best" you smiled, gazing into his dreamy eyes.

"Is that what has been on your mind the past few weeks?"

You nodded, letting yourself sink beneath the cushions.

"I haven't seen both since that night"

"Why didn't you tell me, y/n?"

"'Cause you already have enough on your plate" you reasoned.

"Arthur told me you have two weeks off, that's why I came here"

Charles laid down next to you, pulled you into his arms and brushed the hair out of your face.

"I just don't know how to face them" you groaned, burying your face into your hands.

"Wanna talk about it now?" The brunette offered, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

"I still feel so guilty, yet so betrayed and mad"

"What happened when you returned that night?" Charles inquired.

You breathed in and out before putting yourself through that horrible experience again.

"When I went back to our flat, everyone was waiting for me boiling with rage. Their faces full of fury, disappointment. Especially Will's, his eyes were blood shot and swollen, he looked so devastated and so angry, rightfully so" guilty you looked down on your hands and paused for a short period of time, collecting your thoughts.

"His parents, his sister, they basically mopped the floor with me the second I walked through the door and I let them, because I deserved it" a painful smile appeared on your lips. That night was one of the most horrible nights of your life.

"Then when everyone left Will went berserk and threw me out of our shared flat, so I had to sleep at my father's place. Will refused to see me after that"

Charles' brows furrowed and his eyes glinted with sadness at the sight of your sorrowful face.

"I screwed up, I'm well aware of that, but that didn't mean I was fine doing that, I needed someone by my side, I needed my best friend. But instead of being there for me, she took care of him"

You rested your head on his shoulders, sensing how is warmth and smell soothed you after revisiting this topic that never failed to upset you all over again.

"She was in love with him all along and waited for the perfect opportunity to snatch him and he went with it. Probably to get back at me or because he had feelings for her too"

"You don't deserve that" Charles spoke in a soft voice, rubbing your shoulders with his thumb.

"This only proves how disloyal they are and how you made a good call declining his proposal"

"Yeah" you agreed, still crushed.

"What about other friends?"

You just shook your head.

"I was too ashamed of myself to talk to anyone, besides they were more Will's friends than mine. I'm not really the group friend kinda person. That's why it hurt so badly, when Diane distanced herself from me. It ripped open old wounds. She favored him over me, it reminded me of the time when my mother left us for one of her lovers"

The brunette held you close to his chest, provided you with what you needed exactly. Just two arms wrapped around you, giving you secureness and above all company. With Charles by your side you didn't feel alone like on most days.

"I'm so sorry y/n..." Charles said under his breath, gently stroking your hair.

"I should have given you my number that night"

"No, you had Violette back then, it wouldn't have been right" you whispered back, closing your eyes and feeling your heartrate decrease.

You laid in his arms so naturally as though you had done this a hundred times already. You couldn't think of a better company than Charles'.

"What's up with London Girl anyway?" You asked after some time glancing up to him, a smile climbing up your face.

"Oh lord" Charles groaned, letting his eyelids fall shut.

"I wasn't sure, if I was supposed to tell Violette about you, so I asked Carlos and Pierre and then they started calling you London Girl" he briefly explained.

"And did you tell Violette?"

"Yeah, I did" the monegasque replied.

"How did she react?"

"She reacted pretty well, glad her boyfriend and I quote 'was such a kind soul'"

You perceived the immediate sadness that crept into his gaze, while the words left his lips and his eyes were blankly staring into the void.

Charles was still mourning after Violette.

"What's the plan for tomorrow?" You then asked to distract him from thinking of his ex-girlfriend.

After you discussed your plans for tomorrow you wandered from one topic to another until you both calmly fell asleep on your hotel bed. Your head on Charles' chest while his head leaned against yours, his arms still around you keeping you sheltered.

The next morning you awoke Charles was still peacefully sleeping looking like an angel. You couldn't help but to smile at the sight of him, carefully gazing at his face noticing his long lashes, his sharp jawline and his beautifully defined lips. You caught yourself wanting to kiss him and that made you retreat.

You couldn't kiss him, he wasn't actually your boyfriend.

Without waking him up you freed yourself out of his embrace and decided to get ready for your busy day.

Eventually Charles woke up, looking drowsy and cute with his hair tousled in all directions.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty" you teased him.

"Sorry, I fell asleep" Charles abruptly apologized, nearly sounding panicky.

"It's fine" you assured.

"Can't remember the last time I slept so tight" it slipped out of your mouth.

"Im glad to hear" the brunette replied, his voice sounding raspy.

Attractive.

You shook off that thought.

"Wanna get breakfast?"

"Yeah, yeah. Just give me a few minutes to get ready"

"No rush"

Still half asleep he dragged his feet to his room to get ready for the day, whilst you were scrolling through your socials.

A decision you regretted instantly.

The picture of you and Charles hugging and leaning your foreheads against each other were circulating on the internet.

You should have known better.

You just digged your own grave by fake dating Charles Leclerc.

Several knocks on your door caught your attention, making you jump to your feet and rush to the door.

"Have you been online?" Charles asked instantly when you opened up the the door at which you responded with a nod.

"I'm so sorry! Arthur should have known better than to bring you to the barriers"

"Don't worry about me, I'm not the one standing in the public eye after all"

"We have to talk to my publicist"

After discussing further steps regarding that matter with Charles' publicist, you grabbed something to eat and sallied out to take a look around Monza. Despite all of this drama you tried to enjoy the trip the best you could, even though running into fans that spotted you together was unavoidable.

The rest of your stay in Italy was filled with panic and anxiety as more people saw you out with Charles and more pictures of your face surfaced on the internet. Even pictures from when you were in Monaco appeared out of nowhere.

More and more people started to recognize you.

Sadly that didn't end when you both travelled to London together for the wedding Charles promised you to accompany you to. Fans kept recognizing you, asking Charles for pictures and started recording you, almost shoving the camera in your faces, to upload the footage to the internet.

All kind of people you knew started calling or texting you, to learn everything about the famous racing driver you were supposedly dating.

It was a nightmare.

You decided to take your Mini Cooper which was less flashy than Charles' signature Ferrari and allowed you to drive to the venue without being noticed.

When you arrived, you handed the valet your car keys and set foot into gigantic venue alongside Charles.

"May I take your Coat, Miss?" A girl working here politely asked.

"Let me help" Charles offered and helped you take off your long black coat. You then turned around and watched Charles freeze at the sight of your long black figure-enhancing dress that was only laced up with thin straps from behind, revealing your whole back.

"You look...gorgeous" he blurted out and gave you the confirmation and self-esteem boost you needed to survive this evening.

"You look dashing yourself" you complimented him back.

Charles Leclerc in a Ferrari suit was no doubt your favorite fit on him.

You wrapped your fingers around his upper arm and walked down the hallway to enter the actual location.

"Unlike you I told you about meeting my family here" you whispered into his ear and watched him roll his eyes.

"I told you, I was sorry"

You guided Charles to your father, his wife and your brothers and was finally able to introduce them to your mysterious friend.

Your fathers wife immediately hugged him and your father shook his hand firmly.

You had feared this situation becoming extremly uncomfortable. After all your father and you didn't really share a strong bond due to him not being exactly present, therefore introducing him to Charles was rather a formality than something you wanted to share with him.

But to your surprise he reacted excited seeing the Formlula One driver, even congratulting him on the good season so far, catching you off guard. Completely surprised you looked over to your stepmother, who lovingly smiled and whispered to you how handsome company was.

After getting to know your brothers as well you went over to the bride and groom, both hardly being able to pull themselves together meeting Charles.

In course of the evening you noticed Will and Diane arriving, greeting your family and relatives. They looked well, you couldn't deny that, but you and Charles looked better. You could perceived how they were shooting you looks, inspecting you and Charles.

You tried your best to not let them affect you, tried to seem as unbothered as possible. But nevertheless it stung in your chest when you saw the people that once meant the world to you for the first time after nearly one and a half years again.

"You okay?" The monegasque softly asked, noticing your mood shift.

"They're here" you said under your breath, subtly motioning in their direction.

His hands cupped your face, his gorgeous eyes staring into yours.

"Don't let them ruin the night, it's going well so far, isn't it?"

You laid your hand onto his warm one, your lips forming a small smile.

"You're right, thank you"

A few minutes later the DJ played "Thinking Out Loud" by Ed Sheeran and slowly couples went to the dance floor to slow dance.

"Aren't you gonna ask me to dance?"

"Y/n, may I have this dance?" Charles asked, offering you his hand, that you took and let him guide you onto the dance floor.

Overchallenged your dance partner didn't know where to place his other hand, not wanting to disrespect you by touching your naked skin without consent.

"You are my boyfriend, you're allowed to touch me" you brought his hand up to your waist, promptly feeling a tingling sensation rushing down your spine as Charles' fingers met your skin.

"Wow, you can dance" you remarked in surprise after dancing for a short while.

"I do and I don't even hate it"

"I enjoy dancing too"

You smiled at each other. His eyes mesmerizing you like an infinite galaxy, making time stand still and everyone fade down.

It was just Charles and you. All that matters was this intimate moment.

"They're starring at us" he spoke, looking inconspicuously over to them.

"You chose the right dress for this revenge move" the brunette murmured into your ear, gliding with his fingertips along your spine, causing you goosebumps. Once again you both shared intense eye contact and then something that you had been surpressing all along hit you.

You had developed feelings for Charles Leclerc. Feelings you never wanted to experience.

The song ended, you were brought back to reality. Charles' hand dropped from your back, taking one step back.

"May I have a word with you?"

Your heart skipped a beat hearing those words out of his mouth. You turned around and looked directly into your exes face.

You narrowed your eyes, not fully grasping this was happening.

"You wanna talk now?"

"Please, y/n"

"Fine" you flashed Charles an assuring look.

"It's okay" you mouthed and smiled.

You followed Will to a corner for some privacy and eagerly waited for him to start.

"What are you doing y/n? Have you sunk so deep?"

"Excuse me?" You said outraged and folded your arms.

"So you're sleeping your way to the top now?" Will shamelessly claimed.

"Would you rather I sleep with your best friend?" You hissed, feeling the anger increase.

"You see Benjamin and Victoria? This could have been us" he said, adding salt to the wound.

"Are you hearing yourself?" You looked at him in disbelief.

"Aren't you sick of playing the part of the victim?"

"I gave you everything and you still dared to humiliate me" Will argued furiously.

"Yes, I've hurt you badly, Will. That haunted me for a long time, but my intention was to do right by you. As your wife I couldn't give you what you deserved, at least that's what I thought back when I used to think high of you" you began feeling pressure on your chest and tears welling up.

"I feel glad now, glad that I left you standing, 'cause it uncovered your and Diane's true self" you took a deep breath.

"You guys deserve one another" you spat over your shoulder before running out of the venue.

Outside you started weeping, covering your face with your hands. You hated how the right path was always the more difficult one and never the easy one.

"Hey, what happened?"

You felt the warmth of a coat wrapping around you and one arm clasping your waist.

"What did the bastard say to you?" Charles questioned, trying to get you to look at him.

However you didn't answer his question, you just threw your arms around his neck and sobbed terribly. The monegasque walked you away from the entrance, not wanting the other guests to see you like that. He let you cry it all out, softly stroking your hair and holding you tight while doing so. Once again giving you what you needed without having to communicate it.

Then when you stopped, you told him what had happened. It took you back to one year prior to this event, when you stopped crying after telling the brunette you had just ran away from your boyfriend and Charles wiped off your blurred mascara and took you for a stroll during a chilly London night with his jacket around your body.

The night were it all started shaped your relationship to this day.

Oftentimes laughter followed after crying and that was what had happened. Charles started making you laugh with his wit and goofiness, making you wonder how someone can be so perfect.

Then you took a short break on a bench to take off your heels with Charles' help due to the dress restrichting you from bending down. When he finished, he took a seat next to you.

"Thank you for everything, Charles. I don't know what I'd have done without you"

"Always at your service"

"I do not take that for granted" you stated, resting your head on his shoulder. Charles then put his fingers around your chin lifting it towards his face and leaned closer to kiss you.

"We can't, I'll end up hurting you" you breathed, looking into the monegasque's eyes.

"You're worth the pain"

With these words Charles put his lips on yours, doing what he intended to do ever since you were on his yacht.

Taglist:

@pleasantducktimetravel @annoyingsaladstrawberry @buendiabebeta @leilani13gc @rosesintj @my-only-way-tocooperatewithlife @allilah @weekknds @fleetastic @xcinnamongirl @carmelita-holland @moneymasnn

#Charles Leclerc x Reader #Charles Leclerc Imagine #Charles Leclerc #Charles Leclerc One Shot #F1 One Shot #F1 Imagine #Charles Leclerc Champagne Problems #Charles Leclerc Taylor Swift

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sad-trash-pigeon · 4 months

Text

2023 appreciation post :)

i hope everyone has amazing health and experiences all kinds of love in the new year. i just hope this new year is absolutely incredible for everyone. y'all deserve only the best in 2024 <33

@swiftieannah you're so sweet and amazing and literally the funniest person ever like oml. i love hanging out with you and you're the best friend ever i'm so happy i met you. ily bbg 😍😍

@brokenmiirror ahagshabga you're amazing and have been such a cool person to talk to. it's lovely having writer mutuals, especially ones who love the outsiders. you're actually so cool like oml you just give off the best vibes <3

@melancholymelomaniac you scare me ngl. like how do you always find every sad post i make?? you seem really chill and just give off the best vibes. like you're spooky, but also really fucking cool <3

@if-i-could-give-u-the-moon you were one of my first mutuals which is like super cool. you're amazing and i love the playlist you made me :)

@skilletthescarletspaghet i love your blog so muchh <3 and your current theme is amazing. you're so cool and sweet and ahhh

@ray-of-midnight-storm you are one of the nicest people i have ever talked to on tumblr. like ahsvshba how are you so sweet and amazing and??? ilysm <33

@lost-in-reveriie your blog is absolute stunning. like oml. your introduction post is so prettyy :) you're absolutely amazing and i'm so happy to have you as one of my mutuals <3 you give off the best vibes

@kirireyn for a long time i thought your two blogs were two separate people.. like an embarrassingly long time. you're amazing and i love your (now only??) blog <33

@just-sarah-xx ahh you're absolutely incredible <33 libras are some of my favorite people, ngl. you're an amazing person and ilyy

@rosees3ray you're a really cool person in general, but also i love your art <33 i need to follow your art blogg

@gently-decaying-flowers you're so sweet and amazing and ilyy <3 we've been mutuals for awhile and you're just always incredible. i love your different blog names, you always choose the best ones!!

@sleepy-vix ahh you're one of my favorite solitaire mutuals <33 i love your blog, it gives the vibe of messy poetry. like poems written in fits of inspiration on anything that's close, like a napkin or table. and like in a good way

@sleepinginmygrave your blog theme is absolutely amazing oml. you give off the coolest most poetic vibes <3 like thinking about poetry and looking at rain by candlelight, if that makes sense

@a-beautiful-fool you're actually so fucking cool. i loved talking about poetry and the outsiders and stuff with you :) stay gold, lou <3

@nellysview i think you were one of my first mutuals !! i love your blog and you just seem so genuinely cool <3

@nothing-is-black-and-white you were one of my first mutuals and ilyy <33

@ast3ria-blue you were one of my first ever mutuals and one of the people that got me onto solitaire tumblr :)

@chlorine1 we've been mutuals for awhile and have talked a bit :)) you seem like a really cool person <3

@ava-taylors-version i love your poetry so much, oml <3 when i got poetry through asks from you it was the highlight of my day <33 ily and happy new years :)

@wib-was-here you seem so cool. like you play base and have a snake?? that's fucking awesome. idk you just give off immaculate vibes

@itsbitter we don't interact much but i absolutely adore your blog <3 you're one of those people that just gives off insanely cool vibes, yk?

@stranglingfigs you were one of my first mutuals 6 months ago when i started this blog :)) ily and i love your blog so much. i also really appreciate your use of y'all in your introduction post :)

this is in no particular order and i love you all!! i'm sorry if i forgot some people, i just woke up lmao

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b4sorex1a · 2 months

Note

Hey I don’t know if you remember me but I’m Opengav from AO3 :))) I was wondering if you were still writing for that one fic with Xavi and Gavi because I really like it and also how many chaps do you think you’ll do or do you think you’ll just go with the flow ? Thank youuuu also I also write so if you have something you want to read (probably going to like your ideas as from what I see on your tumblr we love to read the same things) this isn’t advertising btw so if you’re not comfortable could you just send me a message instead of posting ? See you soon xx

HEYYY yesss ofc I remember you hruuu? <333 oh my god yeah my Xavi/Gavi Fic omg I have been stuck on a scene of the new chapter because I feel it doesn’t really make sense lol also send me ur fics <3

Basically how it goes is:

•Xavi wakes up the next morning not know his wife knows about him and Gavi fucking

•He goes to work while reminiscing of his childhood at La masía and connects the fact that in that academy family isn’t really a thing outside of your teammates with Gavi’s daddy issues bla bla more daddy issues thing

• bla bla more poetic being from la masía stuff also Xavi’s daughter scares him in the stairs just to surprise him (like boo hey hi dad) and there’s this scene where Xavi does realize that wow this is fucked up I can’t act like I’m Gavi’s dad but I want to (little bit of a mental breakdown here)

• Gavi returned from his injury to train so he sees Xavi at the training concentration and they share knowing looks

•they fuck again hiding in the bathroom

•Daddy kink stuff, age play stuff and rape play stuff takes place also Gavi being emotional

•Xavi reacts badly with something so Pablo thinks or says something between the lines of “you’re going to abandon me just like my other daddy did aren’t you?”

•angsty scene where they sit there hugging and Xavi says he’s not going to leave Gavi

•then Gavi sucks his dick lmfao

•Xavi comes back home to his wife crying and he asks her wtf is going on

• here is where idk what to do bc if Nuria knows then I can’t expand the drama further maybe I’ll make her lie to Xavi and she’ll say something like

“I’m just sad about family stuff” or some like like that

I want to do like 6-7 chapters!

For ppl that don’t know the context: this is about my ao3 fic ‘The Míster’s Favorite Player’ it’s a Xavi/Gavi daddy kink fic

#fc barcelona #fc barcelona smut #smut #prompt #pablo gavi #football rpf smut #football rpf #xavi hernandez #fic writing #help #daddy dd/lb #age pl@y #rapekink #non con #hard k1nk #dark content

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boxwinebaddie · 3 months

Note

i am not a tyde gal, but AHWGHK OWAH!!! thats so cuteee! i thought i was the only one who found like the always catching and realizing when narcoleptics were gonna have a sleep attack was cute (if that sentence made sense lol). THEY'RE BOTH DUMMY FINE!! like clyde is finneee. but tolkien is like FINEEE. i want them.

d'awwww <3 c': /you/ are so cute, friend! you and a plethora of other anons who have sent me in positive messages abt rm!tyde, haha!

it means a lot to me bc a large point of insecurity for me is that when i first entered the sp fandom, early on, i fell super hard into Style, which directly interacts with the main four/five or the cfpom in my ncu lore, so i focused heavily on them/their dynamic...which meant explored creek ( the other main sp ship ) and the craig and those guys boys waaaaay less and know...much less abt them.

in general...but also how they fit into my fanfictions.

however, we know how i am, i never put out anything for you guys unless i feel strongly about it and feel like it's been thoroughly researched and creatively curated by me in a way that aligns with the show that we love, the characters we care about and my lore/the universe that i am cobbling them into...

( -- which, if you sent me an ask about rm!craig, i promise i will get to it, i am still developing that lore as well as rm!tweeks [ again, be nice to me, i am very insecure abt them ]. if you sent me an ask about bebe or wen, also, please know i am still developing Them as well. again, i like to really carefully craft my characters and make sure there are not glaring plot holes/they are authentic to my canon/sp. )

...so when i debuted rm!tyde, i personally was very stoked on fuccboi dumb jock frat boy secret elle woods daddy issues clyde and chill crunchy vibes poetic artist fight the man golden boy celebrity tolkien, but i was nervous about how you all would perceive them.

Very Well, it seems!!!!! which absolutely THRILLS ME!!!! thank you guys for sending in validating asks -- it is my lifeblood. mWAH! <3

( also, sorry i made tolkien British...it had to be done. cheers, luv! xx )

and while i too was not initially a tyde girlie ( again, i am not that knowledgeable abt sp chars outside of style ) i'm love rm!tyde so much...they are so Cute to me. <3333

i feel like when they start dating, it's gonna be like clyde rolling up like *obnoxious jocky american accent vc* hey bro! ;), handing tolkien his tea from the coffee cart ( except it's Not bc clyde was not paying attention and grabbed a cup marked clara...smh, tolkien said it was the thought that counts ) speaking of him, he is definitely in the grass, sketching stuff listening to chill music and is the *posh london accent* hiya babes xx <3 boyfriend and then they kiss...Amazing.

BUT YES!!!! I LOVE NARCOLEPSY CLYDE SO MUCH!!!

SLEEPY KING

i feel like even as friends, they're in a study group for one of their classes talking to some girl and clyde's words start to slur and he's like swayinggg and the girl looks scared as Fuck but tolkien just catches him like it's nothing ( he is very used to this ) and the girl is like??? WHAT JUST HAPPENED IS HE OKAY DOES HE NEED TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL??? and tolkien very calmly with clyde In His Arms is like "don't worry, darling. he's quite alright; happens all the time. would you mind if we moved over to the couches, though?"

and she's just like "...." as they walk over there, then tolkien sits down, sets clyde's head on his lap, shrugs off his jacket, throws it over clyde's legs and their classmate is like "uh…should we do this later, maybe?" and tolkien's like "oh, no. he'll be out for a while. sleeps like an angel, snores like a bulldozer. very heavy too; wouldn't wake up for the apocalypse. now...where was i? oh, right! i Do think the system is inherently classist and fueled by capitalistic greed." HSADLKS

anyways...live laugh tyde, everybody.

-uncle nina, destroyer of sacred sp canon

p.s. i do think their running joke is don't sleep with anyone or fall for anyone else lmaoooooooo

OKAY EDIT: I HAD CLYDE HAVE TOLK TRY GREASY NASTY AMERICAN BOY FOOD ONCE AND…

ROOOOLLLL CLIP!

i love them oh my goddddd

#no one ask me abt craig and those guys i'm embarassed #like i am deadass insecure abt not being confident in those characterizations considering i usually am smh #i do feel v confident in clyde and tolkien tho i seriously love them like clyde is like yuh skeet bruh dolla dolla bills fuck bitches get $#tolkien is like Scuse Me Love But Would You Mind Providing Me A Light? Of My Life Or Otherwise ;) Cheers Darling! <3 #hey bro x hiya babes supremacy truly #*also tolkien vc everyday* tie ur trainers!!! >:O #*clyde also everyday* doesn't and eats shit on the pavement #tolkien does nag him to take his meds everyday #he's like And Don't Be Late #clyde's like taking my oxybate ya ya whatever mary poppins #like you better marry that man and pop those pills clydesdale #i also think that they watch a lot of shows together and clyde is like DONT START IT WITHOUT ME and tolks like ok dont be LATE then?#smh #boys boys boys #sorry ill go back to being a style girlie #they’ve just been on my brain lately #also this is slightly off topic #but i think clyde has a touch of the tism #and his thing is DINOSAURS #and clyde just nerds out for 15 minutes abt different dinosaurs and tolk sketches him #them drinking tolks fancy boy ipas on their single dorm room bed #watching their netflix show all like wHAT NO WAIT #them like bro!!! bruv!!! dUDE!!! MATE!!!#CHEEKY LIL SNOG WHEEEN

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orcaog · 4 months

Note

outside of Ghost, what music recommendations would you give to people?

I’m so glad you asked! Xx

(Though for most of these, they’re more on the popular end, I suppose this is an insight to my music taste outside of Ghost!)

Ellie’s Music Recommendations !

⭑ Hozier! I’d recommend Hozier to literally anyone. I love his music, it can be really comforting in a way. A lot of his songs are softer, sweeter. He has a very poetic way of describing and talking about love and intimacy in a way that isn’t objectifying or disrespectful, rather quite beautiful. Though he is far from the vibe of Ghost, I love his music. Recommended Song: Would That I (from the album Wasteland, Baby!)

⭑ The Cranberries! I love this band. My Mother also really loves this band, so I would listen to it often as a kid. If you haven’t heard this band before, I’d definitely go listen (though they are incredibly popular and I feel like I’m acting as if you all live under rocks; this is mostly if you’ve never really felt the need to listen to them- consider this the need). Recommended Song: Linger (from the album Everyone Else Is Doing It, So Why Can’t We?)

⭑ Måneskin! Amazing songs, really good vibes. A mix of slower songs and really upbeat rock-y(?) songs. They just released a new album and that’s all amazing. I’ve got nothing else to say bar amazing. Recommended Song: BABY SAID (from the album RUSH! (ARE U COMING?)

⭑ Fleetwood Mac! I’m always a sucker for a Fleetwood Mac song. I always have them on my playlists, they’re just a real fun time. (This is another band where I feel like I’m treating the internet as if they’re under a rock, but I honestly just love 70’s + 80’s music). Recommended Song: Little Lies (from the album Tango In The Night)

My greatest apologies for my absence on this platform, I’m getting back into the swing of things after a slight break. The Christmas/New Year time was hectic. Thank you so much for the ask! Have a lovely new year everyone!

#Ellie recommends #music #Hozier #the cranberries #måneskin #Fleetwood Mac #music recs #Ellie answers

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jewishbarbies · 2 years

Note

After the album release, I need to say....

I DON'T CARE! I DON'T CARE!

Sorry for screaming but all my mutals are swiftness and like.

"give me my girlhood back it was mine first" on paper, pretty heart breaking, but they way she sings it is... mmmmhhhhh no. personally, if people really wanted lyrics that hit you in the gut, mitski is right there (unless they did smth bad, then idk what to tell people)

but im so tired of people crying about the emotion when she always is just singing all salty about a boy. like, "she wears short skirts I wear t-shirts she's cheer capitan and I'm on the bleachers" mam', as a band kid, disrespectfully, you were the annoying ass choir kid that would "practice" everywhere and talk shit about everyone. she could never survive band camp.

she's always loves to play the victim and get her "revenge" baby girl (derogatory) your "I'm the problem" reminds me of mother gothel saying "So I'm the bad guy?" like, she can never actually regret a break up, it's always "uwu I was hurt <3" MISS YOU ARE A GROWN ASS ADULT. CAN YOU JUST ADMIT YOU DIDNT CLICK WITH SOMEONE? SAYING IT DIDNT WORK OUT OSNT SAYING YOU ARE THE PROBLEM (EVEN THOUGH YOU PROBABLY ARE)

I'm so sorry but I'm just the shut up about xx meme rn

“she could never survive band camp” that’s so mean say it again

never apologize, I’m always up for some ts slander on main. her biggest problem with her last 3 albums (midnights, evermore, folklore) is that she’s being wordy and “poetic” but it doesn’t pace right with the music and ends up sounding choppy and out of place, or just straight up cringe. she’s always pronounced words too sharply/oddly and it detracts from the song as a whole. plus she’s stuck in falsetto on every song and she’s just breathing/whispering the words that don’t fit. that’s a big part of what makes it mediocre - performative artistry she doesn’t follow through on. she’s surrounded by yes men and no one is going to tell her ur sucks so she’s just gonna keep doing it.

also the mother gothel point - so many people called her out for the abuser rhetoric of look what you made me do, and she and her deluded stans completely ignored the valid criticism. she’s constantly singing these “revenge anthems” that just sound like an abuser clapping back at the victim that got away and tried to call them out. it’s so uncomfortable.

#Asks #anonymoose #anti taylor swift #swifties dni

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abouttofillhisshoes · 13 hours

Text

Please be naked - Matty Healy

A/N: remember when i said i was done? false. @awellposhmagazine you sweetheart ilysm and i hope u dont die. @beforeyougo-turnthebiglightoff thank u for your slave labour in finding the lyric for this fic xx

wc: 4.5k

content warnings: smut, fluff, use of sex toys (butt plug, strap), pegging, edging, exhibitionism, oral (f receiving), dirty talk, degradation but in a sweet way, praise, face-sitting, restraint (she holds him down), teasing, lots and lots of condescension, begging, the return of the little red kia, it gets weirdly poetic towards the end, two kinky knobheads in love

Matty was bold, always has been. Personal boundaries? Shame? Embarrassment? All foreign concepts to him. Evident in the way he spoke before he thought, blurting out strings of words that didn't even make sense most of the time. His behavior was no different, always going for the shock factor whenever interacting with you.

Which is why you were now standing in the middle of your shared bedroom, eyes flicking between him and the small, plastic device in your hand. He had strolled into the room awfully giddy, topless and grinning at you wildly, holding something in the palm of his hand, stopping right in front of you. You raised your eyebrows as he pressed the remote against your chest, it taking you a while to recognise it.

Eyes widening and staring at the object, you looked back at matty who had this mischievous glint in his eye, obviously plotting something. Your words caught in your throat when you tried to speak, struggling to form coherent sentences.

“Is this-?” you try to confirm that he was, in fact, standing in front of you with a buttplug in his arse. Matty wasn't shy, nodding his head slowly as it clicks in your head. It wasn't an impulse purchase, per se, just a surprising one. Matty had gone back to that same sex shop multiple times, even making friends with the owner (because of course he would), purchasing a multitude of odd toys to ‘gift’ to you. But only one of them genuinely took you by surprise: a black buttplug, holographic shimmers decorating the base.

“Yeah.” he breathes, squirming around on his spot, running his fingers through his freshly washed hair. You choose your next words carefully.

“And you-” Maybe he was taking the piss? A cruel joke, but you wouldn't put it past him.

“I’m wearing it.”

“But- we’re about to go-”

You cut yourself off, a thousand thoughts racing through your mind. The two of you had made plans with your mates, agreeing to meet up at a sort of bar-restaurant thing that had recently opened a few blocks down from your house. Was this really the best time to pull a stunt like this?

“I know. I want you to do it while we’re out.” he takes a step closer, brushing his fingers against your waist, refusing to touch you properly. Your heart beats erratically in your chest, and you try to breath steadily, composing yourself

“I want you to make me moan in your ear while our friends watch.”

You had always had this sneaking, sneaking suspicion about your boyfriend and his penchant for attention. His loud and pretentious manner drew people in, watching him with a certain look in their eye that he absolutely relished in.

You're snapped back to the present moment as he turns on the heel of his foot, walking towards the door and away from you. He’d closed it on his way in out of pure habit, not realizing the precarious position he had put himself in.

Your body moved a bit quicker than your mind, hand making contact with his lower back as you forced him forward against the closed door. He yelps as his cheek smushes against the cool wood, muffling his gasps as you feel him up from behind.

Your hands run up his bare chest, catching his pierced nipple between two of your fingers, tweaking it harshly.

His breathing speeds up as you grind against his arse, pressing your body flush against him and in turn, pressing him up against the door even harder. His skin is smooth under your touch, goosebumps breaking out wherever your fingertips danced, a small sigh of satisfaction leaving your lips.

“Think you can just order me around? Have me do whatever you want?” your voice is low in his ear, your free hand running over the controls of the remote you were holding. This sudden change of pace makes Matty’s head spin, disorienting him right when he thought he had bested you, leaving you speechless. You tap the device against his hip, feeling him twitch slightly at the sudden pressure.

“I’m going to make you regret it. Wish you never gave this pretty little thing to me.” you coo into his ear, condescension coating your words.

The click is soft, but his reaction is anything but. Matty, always so sure of himself, had bought one specifically designed to directly stimulate the prostate when inserted, the vibrations only amplifying the sensation. His knees weakened under him, the only thing holding his body up being the weight of yours pressing him up against the door.

Turning the toy off, you sigh and let him go, making him fall to the floor at the sudden loss of support. He yelps as his knees hit the hard floorboards, eyes darting up to meet yours while he tries to steady his breathing, willing himself to not get hard.

“I’ll be downstairs.” you say, and he can only nod in response, scrambling to get up and finish getting dressed, the plug shifting inside him with every move he makes, small groans spilling from his parted lips.

It takes longer than usual for Matty to finish up, meeting you at the front door dressed in the same jeans you had left him in, paired with a yellow t-shirt, slightly too small for him. You chuckle at the sight, a small sliver of skin being revealed by the too-short fabric.

The place was a short walk away, maybe ten minutes if you walked fast. It saved Hann the pain of having to drive and pick you up, whining about the cost of gas and how his car wouldn't be able to take much more if he was constantly chauffeuring the two of you around (you find he was overreacting a bit, but it is his car).

The process of putting on your respective shoes is done in silence, the tension thick in the air as you take your keys off the hook, stuffing them into your pocket. Matty was right behind you, fastenting the straps of his boots, the clanging metal impossibly loud in the echo of the foyer.

Sun hits your face the moment you step outside, welcoming the comfortable warmth it brought with it, a soft breeze blowing through your hair. The click of your shoes against the pavement was even, the road fairly empty as you walked, hand in hand, Matty’s fingers tightly clasping yours.

The restaurant/pub was more Ross’ aesthetic, the earthy, wooden exterior not really what you were used to. You could feel Matty speed up as you neared the entrance, excited to finally see his mates again, have a drink and talk shit. Your hand moves away from his, gently settling on his lower back, stopping him in his tracks as he grasps the door handle, about to pull it open.

You bring your lips to his ear, his hair slightly in the way, curls brushing against your face lightly.

“You going to behave?” you whisper, warning him. His smirk tells you all you need to know before he even opens his mouth to speak.

“In your wildest dreams.” he blows you a cheeky kiss and flings the door wide open, cutting off your retort.

Ross and Hann greet him first, lifting their pints in his direction. His laugh as he sees them is infectious, making you crack a fond smile as they all hug, Matty sliding into the booth next to Ross. George gets up from his chair, pulling you in for a tight hug and saying how nice it was to see you and Matty, pushing a french martini in your direction.

“I could kiss you.” you say, bringing the glass up to your lips, taking a grateful sip. George chuckles, his deep voice oddly comforting.

“No need, pretty sure Matty would stab my eyes out.”

“What would I do!?” Matty yells at him, only catching a small part of his sentence, too engrossed in his storytelling to listen to his answer. You wave your hand in dismissal, turning your attention to Matty’s story, a detailed recount of his first kiss.

How he got to that topic within ten minutes of entering the joint was beyond you, but you listened, laughing at the gross descriptions of the girls lips, using way too many adjectives Ross didn't even know existed.

The remote is heavy in your pocket, burning a hole into your skin as an idea pops into your head.

He chats animatedly, his voice loud and booming, so unmistakably him.

“Genuinely tasted like sand, nearly impossible to get any real acti-” you cut him off by clicking the toy on, his eyes immediately widening at the sensation. He chokes a bit, his words coming out weird and in bits before he decides to try and cover it up with a cough. The guys give him a weird look and you play along, raising your eyebrows at him.

“Alright, Matty?” Ross asks, taking a sip of his pint at the sudden, awkward silence. You grin at him, turning the vibrations down a bit so he could speak.

“Everythings good, just got a fucked throat.” he smooth talks his way out of it, glaring at you from across the table as the conversation shifts.

You continue toying with him, playing with the remote mindlessly as the minute tick by, another round of drinks being bought by Hann. Whenever he goes to speak, you make a point to turn the vibrations up, even if only a little bit, just to watch him squirm in his seat, beads of sweat forming on his forehead.

“Mate, you look wrecked. Sure you're okay?” Hann presses a paternal hand to his head, checking his temperature. Matty was flushed a bright shade of pink, a look of pleasure on his face only you could truly recognise, having seen him in this exact position a thousand times. Yearning, begging, willing to do anything just to finally have some relief.

“Y-yeah sorry, I must've caught something.” he forces out, a slight edge to his voice as you eye him, catching a suspicious glance from George next to you.

“Go home then, I'll even drive you back.” he offers, earning a groan from the other two men. Apologizing, you offer to buy everyone a round on you as a peace offering for leaving early. Hann promises to come back after, not letting Matty’s little bout of illness ruin a perfectly good outing. If only they knew.

He’s a bit sick I reckon, nothing a good rest cant fix.” you move to get up, brushing off your jeans as you shuffle out of the booth, watching Matty closely.

“Dickhead.” he mutters as he passes by, being led to the car by Adam. You grin from ear to ear, taking your revenge.

“Watch it, sweetheart.” you click the vibrator on higher, making his knees buckle and he falls into your arms, a look of betrayal, mixed with undeniable pleasure, evident on his face.

“Jesus, Matty, let's get you home.” you mutter, your voice one of faux-concern as you stroke his hair, half carrying him to the car.

The car ride is oddly quiet, Hann making casual conversation as Matty curls up in the backseat, knees to his chest, feigning illness. The radio plays softly in the background, some country stuff that was popular.

“No music commentary today? Pretty sure this is Taylor Swift.” you chuckle at your mates words, watching Matty’s reaction in the rearview mirror.

“She’s fit.” His voice is slightly raspy, teasing as he makes eye contact through the reflection, almost as if challenging you. You roll your eyes, a prick of jealousy bubbling up inside of you.

“Not as fit as my girl though.” he adds, making Hann groan in disgust.

“I don't need to bear witness to your weird flirting. It's bad enough having to watch you drunk snog every week.”

Even though you tried to keep your affection to a minimum around the guys, with alcohol being thrown into the mix it was impossible to keep your hand off each other. The brick wall of the alleyway behind the bar had seen a lot of makeout sessions, and more often than not, Hann or George would walk out for a smoke right when Matty was shoving his tongue down your throat.

“Why do you watch us? Might be a sign, mate.” Matty mumbles, kicking the back of the driver's seat aggressively, making it shake.

“I hope you choke.”

“So does she.” he sniggers, wiggling his eyebrows at an exhausted Adam, at his limit with Matty’s bullshit for the day.

“Ugh, please stop.”

You wave goodbye to him and walk up to the front door, unlocking it swiftly as Matty trails behind you, legs weak and barely holding himself upright as the toy buzzed inside of him. He lets out a string of gasps as you turn it up, clicking a total of two times with an intention to overwhelm him.

“What's wrong, love? Too much?” you ask, cupping his face with your left hand. His eyes are glazed over, tears threatening to spill as pleasure radiates through his entire body.

“F-fuck me, jesus thats high.” he pants, chest heaving as you grin, satisfied.

“You picked it out.”

“Not to be used against me.” he shoots back, slowly getting used to the sensation, his mind clearing enough to speak properly.

“And whose fault is that?” you press your lips to his in a chaste kiss, the weight of you against him driving him insane, getting lost in your touch. Pulling away suddenly, you put a bit of distance between the two of you.

“Fuck you-” he cuts himself off with a choked moan, his hand twitching as he attempted to stand up straight.

“Go upstairs and wait nice and pretty for me, yeah? I'll be right there.”

He moves faster than you expect, stumbling up the stairs in the direction of your shared bedroom, his footsteps heavy.

You know exactly what you want to do, the whole day building up to this exact moment. Gathering a few items from a certain box that lived on the shelf in your living room, simple and unassuming, you follow his path, peeling off your shirt as you walk, discarding it somewhere in the hallway.

Matty is naked on the bed when you enter the room, back slightly arched as the plug pressed up against his prostate, his cock hard and aching, leaking all over the sheets. Your heart skips a beat when he smirks at you, his hair thrown carelessly over his face curls obscuring a small part of it.

“No strip-tease today?” he shakes his head, smug expression wiped from his face as his eyes fall on your chest, clad in only a simple, black bra.

“Can’t fucking- please darling, please I need you so bad.” he whimpers, hips bucking upwards as you dangle the remote in front of him, kneeling onto the bed between his legs.

You look up at him with an innocent expression, eyes wide as you watch him squirm, so desperate for your touch it made him dizzy.

“What do you want from me?” you whisper, the edge to your voice making Matty still. Obviously, he was expecting more of a fight, more begging, more effort. You were in a different sort of mood today, much to his delight.

“Sit on my face, make me earn it, please. Wanna taste you on my tongue, make you feel so good.” he moans, the toy making him see stars behind his eyes. Matty’s in a daze that only happens every so often, his cocky and arrogant demeanor nowhere to be seen. Instead, it's replaced by a look of utter devotion, willingness to give up every fiber of himself to you, hand over his mind, body, and soul, placing it carefully in your hands.

“So eager.”

“Only for you.”

His cock twitches against his stomach as you peel off your jeans, your panties quick to follow suit, gone in a pile on the floor. Eyes trained on you, he watches how you shuffle upwards, glistening cunt hovering over his mouth in anticipation. His hands come up to grip your thighs, attempting to pull you down onto him, your resistance making him frown.

“I don’t want to crush you.” you murmur, a small moment of weakness in a situation where you held all the power. He looks at you confused before reassuringly shaking his head, running his fingers over your cunt, making you gasp in pleasure.

“Please.” his voice cracks, sending sparks of pleasure up your spine at the simple word.

Lowering yourself onto him, he tugs you completely onto his mouth, not letting you hover. The room instantly fills with your moans, the sounds bouncing off the walls and going straight to his cock, beads of precum spilling from his tip.

The toy buzzes against his prostate, making him whimper against your cunt as you play with the settings, never letting him get used to it before switching it up. His tongue laps at your clit, sucking it between his lips, creating a delicious suction he knew made your mind go blank. You grab onto the metal bed frame for stability, back arching as the pleasure between your legs took over your entire body.

You hear him whine beneath you, the pressure of the plug getting to be too much, his hips bucking wildly for any sort of friction, being met with only air. The obscenity of his actions only spurs you on, filthy words falling from your lips as your orgasm rapidly approaches.

“So good for me, eating me all messy. Like it when I tell you how good you're being for me?” you breath, words broken up by gasps of pleasure as he draws figure eights on your clit with his tongue. His curls stick to his forehead, the room stinking of sex and his fucking perfume, clinging to his skin like some kind of sex pollen.

“Fuck, i’m so close, please make me cum.” you breathe, looking down to rake your eyes over his face, being met with a blissed out expression as he shoves his way inside of you, tongue stroking your velvety walls.

“Oh fuck, fuck, right there just keep doing that.” he lets you grind against his face, licking a thick stripe over your folds, making you shudder as your climax hits you like a freight train, pleasure crashing over you in mind numbing waves, your legs clamping around his head.

It takes you longer than normal to catch your breath, your skin sticky with sweat as you pant, shuffling down his body to settle on his hips, his cock grinding against your arse from behind.

“So good, love the way you clench around my tongue.” you cringe, screwing your eyes shut at his choice of words. You flush a deep shade of red when he winks at you, licking his lips provocatively, refusing to break eye contact.

“You're so filthy, can you at least try to use metaphors? Christ.”

“Nah, much better seeing you blush for me.” an exasperated sigh leaves your lips, looking unimpressed by his attempt at a flirt. You’d believe he was only joking, purely messing around if it wasn't for the way his cock leaked onto the sheets, twitching at every vibration of the toy inside of him.

“God, your ego is huge.”

“Not the only thing that's huge.” jesus.

“Oh, fuck off, honestly.”

“Only if you promise to fuck me first.” his tone changes, and you know he’s deadly serious.

His eyes flicker over to the strap laying innocently on the bed, silently begging you to have some sort of mercy.

“Did it feel good, almost having the guys catch you?” you ask, lowering your voice as you reach for the toy, your movements excruciatingly slow. He shuffles under you, one of his arms lazily resting behind his head, trying to appear lax.

“Felt even better seeing you watch me, trying to get me to react.” you giggle, his words ringing painfully true.

The whole point of playing with the controls was to see exactly what made him squirm, moan against his glass and attempt to cover the whole thing up with a cough, eyes desperate to find yours as you chatted to George, pretending to be blissfully unaware of his little predicament.

“You did, didnt you?” of course he did, how could he not?

“You try having a massive plug pressed up against your prostate for an hour.”

“Youre so vulgar, fuck's sake.” you groan, pressing a hand to your forehead in disappointment. You loved him, but Matty’s choice of words was incredibly unsexy at times, ruining the mood.

“Just-” he starts, cut off by his own gasp, the toy shifting inside him slightly, hitting his G-spot with jarring accuracy.

“What?” you tease, narrowing your eyes at him as he flushes a deep crimson, the blush spreading from his face down to his chest, making your heart skip a beat.

“Just- fuck me, i’ve been ready for you since-” he yelps when your hands find his waist, maneuvering him onto his stomach, quite aggressively at that. His face is pushed into a decorative pillow, muffling his sounds of protests, much to your delight.

“Since?”

“Since you pressed me up against that door.” he mumbles, rutting against the mattress, an attempt at some kind of relief, having spent the better part of two hours right on that edge, nothing substantial to push him off it.

“Really? Must’ve been pretty painful, walking around hard where our mates could see you.” You think back to Ross’ weird look. Matty had already let slip that he told him more than was necessary, the thought making you shudder. Imagine if he knew the actual reason you had left in such a hurry, desperate to get home to ‘nurse Matty back to health’.

“Please, darling, I'm so ready for it, just let go. Fuck me so dumb I cant think. I deserve it.” he moans, pressing his hips towards you, arching his back. You catch a glimpse of the plug, the sight making your heart speed up, thrumming against your ribcage as you fumble with the strap, using his little ramble to slip it over your hips, tightening the clasps.

“You deserve it, do you?” your mouth is right against his ear as you lean over him, pressing the tip of the flush against his arse. The remote is abandoned on the other side of the bed, too out of reach for you to turn down the toy, leaving Matty helpless and twitching, the pleasure being just too little to make him cum. He lets out an infuriated groan when you chuckle, the bed creaking as you get comfortable on your knees.

“What you deserve.” you whisper into his ear, hearing his breath hitch at the proximity. “Is to be fucking destroyed.” he gasps, feeling your fingertips ghost over the base of the plug before slowly slipping it out of him, leaving him empty and wanting.

“Please.” The word is small, miniscule as he trembles under your touch, his body limp against the mattress.

You take your time, pressing the tip of the strap against his entrance, teasing him until he jerks under you, his voice high pitched and exhausted, yearning for any kind of relief. Brushing his hair out of his face, you grab his jaw, making his neck crane to look at you. His eyes are wide, an insatiable hunger evident in them.

Sultry moans spill from his lips as you press inside of him, barely giving him a moment to breathe before thrusting out, setting a fast-paced rhythm as he writhed against you, grinding back onto the strap like his life depended on it.

“Fuck, thats so good, oh my- yesyesyes.” he whines, hands moving down to grip his cock. You catch him before he does, pinning his wrists above his head as you relentlessly drill into him, drinking every noise he makes.

“So deep, shit. Fuck me, god- harder.” your stomach flips, the sound of him begging you to take him even harder making you feel dizzy with power. He groans against the pillow when you speed up, one of your hands gripping his waist for leverage, hitting his prostate with scary accuracy.

“Harder, yeah? I’m going to take you apart bit by bit, love, make you scream my name until your throat is actually sore.”

“Feel how good I fuck you? Reduce you to little pieces at my feet where you belong.” you're drunk with power, Matty’s twitching and desperate frame beneath you sending you to another plane of existence, making you believe that if there truly was a heaven, this would be it.

“I’m yours, fuck- all yours- Please, don’t stop.” his eyes water at the force of your thrusts, and you feel him shake at the strength of his impending orgasm. You reach down his mouth at his neck, biting down hard, littering his neck with deep, aggressive bruises that you knew would last for days to come, if not weeks.

"You make me feel so good." he mutters, and you feel a sense of pride swell up inside of you.

“Cum for me, love, please, I wanna see how good I make you feel.” his muscles tense under your grasp, arms flexing under the skin of his tattoos.

“I’m so close, please don't stop, fuck, I love you so much.”

You love him too. It's all you could do, show him how much you loved him, how much he occupied your every thought and action. Everything depended on him, nothing existing without the knowledge that he was by your side, giving your life true, veritable meaning.

“So good for me, Matthew. Let go, feel it, let it consume you.” he frantically grinds against the mattress, chasing his high as you whisper dirty words into his ear, encouraging him.

“Oh god- just- fuckkk.” he finally cums with a cry of your name, hips bucking up against your strap as he heaves, sputtering and moaning uncontrollably

“So pretty when you cum, fuck, love it when you scream my name, love.” he goes limp as spurts of cum spill onto the sheets, his thighs tensing at the sheer intensity of his orgasm, eyes screwed shut with bliss.

Your hand releases his wrists, soothing raking your nails over his back, bringing him down slowly, not wanting to overwhelm him.

“You’re perfect, my gorgeous boy.” you coo, peppering kisses down his bare skin, licking at the harsh bite marks from earlier, blooming on his neck.

“Yeah, m’yours darling, all yours.” he mumbles, hazy from his climax, mind still foggy from the pure pleasure he had experienced. You slip out of him, watching how he clenched around the toy, as if trying to keep you inside of him.

“I love you.” you whisper, hugging him tightly from behind.

“I love you too, now get down here.” he violently tugs you down next to him, cupping your face in both hands, still trembling slightly. A genuine smile spreads onto his face as he kisses you gently, enjoying this tender moment of vulnerability between the two of you, wanting it to last forever. The two of you giggle into each other's mouths, giddy and relaxed, at peace.

“I love you.” he rolls his eyes playfully, grinning against your lips.

“You already said that.”

“I know.”

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steelycunt · 10 months

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see i do really love her music but you will never catch me lauding her as *the* lyrical genius of our generation or like the epitome of creativity. she’s successful because she’s a great businesswoman and knows how to market herself to the widest audience possible (in addition to other factors which def play a huge role, ie she’s white pretty and christian). every time someone defends her by pointing to [lyric] it’s kind of obvious they don’t rly listen to other kinds of music or read much or are quite young. which sounds so pretentious but!

that said i DO think she’s a talented songwriter, but her skill lies in crafting stories in songs (which is what country artists are known for, and why her more folk-y country songs are far better than her pop), which you can’t see from individual lyrics. that doesn’t make her the next shakespeare or anything tho, and it definitely doesn’t warrant swifties going to war in comment sections to defend her (parasocial relationships n all that…)

i do not think it sounds pretentious at ALL i think you are bang on actually!! that is exactly the impression i get when the implication is made that the inclusion of some sort of reference, regardless of the quality of the execution of this, automatically makes a lyric good or poetic or god forbid ‘genius’.

and i think you’re so right too about what makes her successful!! she is, above all, a businesswomen, as is hammered home by the fact that there seems to be a new something-or-other from taylor swift being released every other week. and the thing about storytelling too—like i said in a prev ask that is a big part why i think she is popular, regardless of whether you think her popularity is warranted or not the perceived relatability of her songs and the emotions and feelings they’re meant to be about and the stories in them i think is what attracts the people who like her. the myth of her ‘lyrical genius’, in my opinion, mainly comes after this, is a product of her popularity rather than the cause of it, and also is just that—a myth. and idk i just feel it’s unnecessary? if you genuinely feel her lyrics are good, that’s great, that’s one thing—but the comparisons to shakespeare, for example, which are bafflingly frequent and obviously ludicrous, feel unnecessary. you don’t have to pretend that taylor swifts writing is as good as shakespeare’s to enjoy her music. you don’t have to pretend her writing is GOOD to enjoy her music.

i appreciate that there is an argument to be made that you get a lot of young girls, mostly, defensive over her because so often the value of things that young girls enjoy is denigrated and dismissed, but grown adults seething with rage in the comment section of a tiktok that implied that taylor swift isn’t that good and arguing that she is in fact objectively genius and if you disagree you’re incorrect, is so ridiculous like. you don’t need to fight for this woman or pitch for her she’s probably the most commercially successful music artist around right now. your subjective opinion of her does not need to be transformed into objective fact in order to justify your listening to her music you can just listen to it. and calm down. and put titles like the ‘greatest lyricist of our generation’ away neatly in a little drawer and lock it and leave it there and go about your day xx

#telegram #anon

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sevensistersofsussex · 2 years

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hey do you have any BAMF elena fanfic recommendations? i feel like the line between elena’s compassion and her willingness to do anything to keep her loved ones safe and to win, the tenacity of all that is such a fine line. i often find elijah/elena fics where elena is just a bleeding heart and she’s obviously very compassionate and has value for life but there’s so much more to her than that. power playing with the originals, hurting herself to achieve her goals, doing anything necessary to keep jeremy safe- even if it means having him compelled- i was hoping for some fanfiction which recognises that. i’ve read quite a few of yours and i enjoy a lot of them immensely so even if you have any recommendations along those lines, i would be grateful. xx

This ask lead me to just looking through which new stories had Elena in them and so many include the "Elena Bashing" tag, which...thanks for warning me I guess?

Anyway, since I started writing, it has become increasingly more difficult to read new fics and I'm absolutely certain I'm missing some gems out there. So feel free, anyone, to add onto this list with their own 5 (Even if it's your own!)

Tenacity is such a great word for Elena. It's what her marrow is made of.

Anyway, here's a list of five.

The Stars Were Shining Brightly by adlyb (@livlepretre)

This is a really fun fic. The outwitting that Elena displays here to find herself on solid ground with Klaus. Leveraging her wits and cunning against his implicit power. It's very good. I'd also recommend diving into Fairytale Ending afterwards or any number of her other fics. The rest can be thematically a bit darker, but honestly - it tracks with a girl willing to stab herself over and over again to achieve her goals.

All Your Closets are Backlogged Dreams by IJustWoundYou (not on tumblr, but I would lose my mind if they were)

I found this one through a rec and just consumed it. Now I eagerly await new chapters. Multiple Elenas from multiple dimensions and time periods all conspiring together to save this universe's Elena from their fates. It's wonderful. It has a Klaus/Elena tag, but the relationship I'm enjoying so far the most is the friendship with Tyler. This writer only has this fic online, but like a good musical artist, the moment they drop a new single, I'll be there.

plastic crown by noimkillingboys (@jennifersminds)

This writer is imbued with some kind of imagery poetic goddess and you can't convince me otherwise. A lot of focus on Elena rejecting things society wants for her in favor of what she wants for herself and Elijah is there. No-humanity era given space to grieve and heal and taking no prisoners. The epitome of "covered in blood just girly things". This writer has other Elena-centric fics that I'd also recommend.

Riverborn by ferallahey (@feralcherry)

This is only two chapters in but the premise is amazing already. A heavy focus on the friendship between Bonnie, Caroline and Elena and the girls rejecting the toxins in their lives in favor for each other. I am so excited for any new chapters to come out and see how they all manage to navigate expelling the Salvatores from their lives.

I'll also add that this writer does a lot with OCs who are intriguing, fleshed out and unique. They have one fic that got me hooked, Lover's Prelude. It takes Elena a minute to come into her own, but when she does, it makes an impact.

Irresistible by Natasha09 (@katherineholmes)

Another Klaus/Elena fic rec, but honestly I think it's because you have to write Elena in a certain way if she's to get together with Klaus. She can't be a shrinking flower and that is absolutely the case with this fic. There's a scene, which I won't spoil, where Elena is cleaning up a mess that mirrors a lot of the vibes of the show that I adore. Elena, alone at night, dealing with something she absolutely shouldn't be but is. Definitely check out this writer's other stuff too. Make It Holy (a Klena time jump fic), Difference (a Kolena morally grey fic) and Cosmic Love (an Elejah, breaking him free fic).

#pro elena gilbert fic recs #elena is many things #and her compassion is cut by the cruel lengths she's willing to go #tenacious elena g

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teyamsatan · 1 year

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omg okay i finally had a moment to send my ask but anyway THE LAST CHAPTER!!!! im actually crying i can’t believe the cardigan series is over 😭 IT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME honestly ive been going through a rough patch in my personal life but it’s been so nice to escape real life and i can only thank you for that seriously!!! like the blue alien brain rot is real and cardigan has somehow satisfied the brain rot plus the romantic abyss in my life heheeh but anyway the last chapter was sooo good!!! as always, your dialogue was beautiful and poetic and so heart clenching. after many tears, you finally have us a WIN!!! i love how you tied up the loose ends for everyone, each character got their own happy ending which was much deserved. the characters didn’t remain stagnant, they all grew in someway and it’s really amazing how you were able to capture that. i fr don’t even think i have enough vocabulary to go into detail on how well of a job you did. like you wrote a whole fucking book that’s incredible!!! i can’t wait to see what you have in the future and honestly you deserve all the followers and love!!!

bestie, you somehow always brighten up my day, i swear. i am literally crying (again) for what feels like the millionth time today ngl. Ending this series has hit me really hard, and I feel so so empty and sad, but to have this community of people who has been so so supportive means so much.

I can't tell you what it means to be to hear that something I did helped someone through a rough patch, bc that's how i feel about you guys. I've also been struggling a little and your replies and asks are genuinely the things I look forward to the most every day, from the second I open my eyes and go straight to my phone.

I'm so happy you enjoyed the ending, I really wanted to do justice to this whole world and all the characters I have grown to love so much. My sadistic mind felt it was too happy hahahaha, but i think my characters deserved it after everything they went through... and I may or may not be planning some angsty fics already to satisfy my sickness.

I LOVE YOU SO SO MUCH and can't wait to continue creating for as long as you guys will still have me xx

#you >>>#ily xoxoxo #this made me cry #im a mess #but so so happy and grateful #personal #my asks 💕#illicit affairs #the cardigan series #the archer

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psychewritesbs · 1 year

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hi!! i really love your blog, i love reading your posts, your analysis... after the most recent chapters, couldn't help but wonder how you would be feeling about megumi's fate. his character has also intrigued me so much, i find the implications of his paths and of his world view so interesting - even though i strongly disagree with most of it today, i really identify my past self with him, and sometimes also my present self - he makes me think and feel so much about life, my life, my relationships, identity, choices, traumas etc.... it's been rough with the last chapters.. anyway, i know the possibilities are not exactly on our side, regarding his fate/ending, but i can't help but wonder how fulfilling it would feel like to see more development from him. yes, a lot of development was made, but he has repeated some fateful mistakes, and i think, if he didn't die, that we would be yet to see him build for himself a new philosophy, a new fundamental understanding of the world and his place in all of it, making different choices and taking different paths. i also know a lot of characters don't get this chance (or don't take this chance) before ......dying, but this time, i would really like to see him changing and growing, learning even more from his mistakes.. what do you think about this? is there anything in particular you would like to see about his character development? if you have the time, i would love to hear your thoughts about it! really sorry for making this ask so long though!!! xx

HOLA!

So... first, thank you for sending Megumi love ♥, I love it when people share with me why they love the characters they love, ESPECIALLY if it's about Megumi.

Second, your ask gives me life in so many ways. Thank you for the kind words and taking the time to reach out.

So let's see... "how are you feeling about Megumi's fate?" you ask.

This is what I'll say above the cut.

I really hope there will be a moment of "poetic justice" that underscores and gives meaning to what happened to Megumi. I don't know that, of course, but I feel like it's consistent with how Gege writes... even if he flops the ending.

More word vomit under the cut...

After all... there's meaning in everything but if only we choose to create it in the face of the existential dread that is the chaos of the human experience.

After keeping up with this manga for the better part of nearly three years, I've fallen in love with Gege's writing style for several reasons.

The main reason is that JJK is very dark and gritty but not for the sake of dark and gritty per se. Rather, JJK is dark and gritty for the sake of characters exploring and giving meaning to the existential dread that comes from the circumstances of the world Gege has created.

So... to me... this alone tells me that even if Megumi were to die and even if the execution is lackluster (think chapter 208), it won't feel like an inconclusive ending once it's all been said and done.

Megumi isn't Aki after all, and Gege isn't Fujimoto.

As you say, "i know the possibilities are not exactly on our side, regarding his fate/ending" and what I'll say is that it's not that I don't trust that Megumi can do amazing #things like getting back control of his body. It's the cursed cat that I don't trust because he will kill any character off if the themes he is trying to depict call for it in the plot.

There IS good reason to think that, thematically, Megumi is getting out alive (for the sake of meaning-making) AND I STILL DON'T TRUST THE CAT AFTER WHAT HE DID IN CHAPTER 212!

Also...

Oops, I did it again, I typed a whole response to your ask, and then the chapter 214 leaks started dropping and I had to go back and delete what I had written.

So if you haven't seen the leaks/spoilers for chapter 214 you might want to wait until Sunday to read the rest of my response.

The thing is... I also wasn't sure how Jungian I wanted to get in my response to you.

So after much debate I decided to get Jungian af... After all, you bared your own soul to me. Why shouldn't I do the same? So... there will be personal rambling lol.

BASICALLY this is how I'm excusing myself for always taking forever to answer asks lol. In the end, I just want to give thoughtful and insight provoking answers if at all possible.

So thanks for your patience. You were never for a moment forgotten.

Anyways... as I like to say: without further ado...

You see, I have this condition...

You see, I have this condition... and I feel like you can relate.

But this condition--I call it character myopia, its main symptom is that when I love a character with my entire sense of self, I can't tell where a character begins and where I end.

his character has also intrigued me so much, i find the implications of his paths and of his world view so interesting - even though i strongly disagree with most of it today, i really identify my past self with him, and sometimes also my present self - he makes me think and feel so much about life, my life, my relationships, identity, choices, traumas etc

Everything you've said about how you relate to him, from his life, to his relationships, identity choices and traumas... yes. Thank you for sharing your Megumi love with me.

Honestly, since we're having this convo. idk about you, but it's not often that I love a character to the point of seeing myself in them.

I don't know that there is a whole lot more that I can add to this. I just love what you said so much.

This has got to be one of my favorite parts about experiencing works of fiction and deeply resonating with certain characters.

Fiction can be such a transformative experience and Megumi has been just that for me and it seems for you as well. I love that in Megumi, Gege has created a character that is a container for exploring ourselves creatively.

I agree with the sentiment of identifying with him.

I think for me, right now... I am going through a phase in my life where, like Megumi, I keep bumping my head up against my own self-inflicted limitations.

In addition, in Megumi I have found a reflection of my own darker instincts.

I don't know how to explain what Megumi has done to my psyche. Literally... it's like he's working behind the scenes in transforming how I see the world.

I've literally had dreams with Megumi in them that also include black and white dog symbolism. In retrospect, the dreams have felt archetypal, like a reflection of psychic processes I am unaware of that are working underneath the surface and transforming my consciousness.

With Megumi getting possessed came a new dream with clear satanic symbolism that I thought was really interesting. More specifically because I wasn't scared to face what I saw in myself.

i can't help but wonder how fulfilling it would feel like to see more development from him. yes, a lot of development was made, but he has repeated some fateful mistakes, and i think, if he didn't die, that we would be yet to see him build for himself a new philosophy, a new fundamental understanding of the world and his place in all of it, making different choices and taking different paths

Yes 🥺🙏🏼! This. All of this.

You made me realize I want to see him believe in himself again. When Megumi believes in himself, literal magic happens.

And going back to what is happening at the end of chapter 214, I cannot wait to see Megumi wreck Sukuna from the inside.

There's so much happening for Megumi right now, and he's told the audience before that he will do whatever it takes to protect the people he holds in high esteem.

That's my boy!!!!!!!!!!

So to your point... I love that he will not go down without putting up a fight as he re-negotiates this new philosophy about himself.

YES!

Again, it's not that I don't trust that Megumi has what it takes, it's the cat I don't trust!!!!

i would really like to see him changing and growing, learning even more from his mistakes.. what do you think about this? is there anything in particular you would like to see about his character development?

Yeah, for sure. This is a bit of a loaded question because there's so much about Megumi that still needs to unfold in terms of how he relates to the world around him.

I personally love how Gege has gone out of his way to show how immature Megumi is compared to other characters who share the same trope. Megumi is a flawed human after all.

And aren't we all?

In the end, Megumi has to grow in many different aspects like...

How he relates to his own power.

The limits of his own sense of self and how he uses his imagination to overcome how his sense of self can become unnecessarily bound by reason.

The much needed growth he needs to achieve in how he relates to others (more specifically Tsumiki and how that is a metaphor for how he relates to his own emotional world).

Bridging opposites together (good and evil).

Taking responsibility for himself and his actions...

I mean there's just so much!

If Megumi dies at this point... ok, yes, and "what meaning will Gege give his death?" is what I would like to know to feel like it was a satisfying end to his arc.

Honestly. I just want to see Megumi work his magic. I want to see him get pissed off, like really pissed off and fed up with his fate, and I want to see how that changes him and what he makes of it.

I want to see him say "fuck this fate, I still have things I need to do."

And then maybe perhaps come to realize, once again, that he can't manipulate others because they too have a free will of their own.

I may be projecting here but... Megumi's manipulative tendencies and the way he relates to others, it feels like it comes from a place in which his inner-child has not learned that it does not need to do anything to fulfill his need to be loved.

Megumi is beloved, and its a real tragedy that he hasn't figured that out about himself.

And... if that is not relatable, then I don't know what is.

AH but thank you so much again for reaching out! Thank you for your patience too.

I hope to hear from you again especially as we get to see what our Megumi does!

#ask the mental gymnastics anime girl #megumi being relatable af #fushiguro megumi lovers unite

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