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unpretty · 6 months

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da shillzone

just gonna make a fucking. megapost of affiliate and referral links for anyone who wants to support me and also get deals or whatever. i'm gonna try to be pretty clear about what i get for things also.

you get a thing, i get a thing:

Everand, formerly Scribd: read 'unlimited' (ish) books, use my link to get two free months and I also get a free month.

Mubi: it's not movies, it's cinema (it's movies). Use my link and we both get a free month.

Reel Paper: it's bamboo toilet paper with no plastic packaging and so far it's been the only one I like. It's a subscription and also spendy compared to regular toilet paper but I'm spoiled now. Use my link and we both get $15 off.

MeUndies: it's the fucking podcast underwear. I know. I know. They had a Halloween collection and I'm weak. It's so comfy I'm mad about it. Use my link and you get 20% off your first order, I get a $20 credit, enough to buy One Whole Underwear.

Unique Vintage: it's clothes, I like the collabs and am still mad about missing out on the Pusheen skirt. Don't buy anything full price imho, quality can vary WILDLY. My link will get you $10 off a $75 order and I get a $10 credit. Not the best deal but whatever.

YNAB: I was spending too much money on podcast underwear so I signed up for You Need A Budget to trick me into thinking money is real. So far it is the first thing to have ever successfully tricked me into treating money as real, and my debt situation has improved exponentially. It's $15 a month or $99 a year and my link gets you a free month, if you sign up after the trial I also get a free month.

ProtonMail: privacy-focused alternative to gmail, switching is easy peasy and it's free. Use my link to get a free month of the fancy paid version, and if you decide to sign up I get $10 off my renewal (because I pay for the fancy version).

i get straight cash:

Humble Bundle and the Humble Store: use my link to buy some video games or book bundles and I get a cut. Signing up for Humble Choice after clicking my link also gets me paid. This is literally the only referral program that pays me worth a damn.

the amazon quarantine:

amazon sucks and doesn't pay for shit except 'bounties' so ignoring all of this is fine actually. i get pennies for most things. it's bad.

Here's the fucking. 'influencer page' that Amazon gave me. I don't really know how it works. Anyway the rest of this is bounties.

You can use SNAP EBT on Amazon, apparently if you register a card using my link I get five bucks.

Audible Plus, if you use my link and sign up for a free trial I get $5 and if you actually pay I get another $10.

Audible Premium Plus is the same deal.

Amazon Prime Video, I get $3 if you sign up for a free trial.

Audible Gift Subscription, buy one for someone and I get either $8 or $10 depending on whether it's 12 months or not.

non-referral gifts:

maybe you would rather just send me a dollar or some cookies or whatever so i'll put all that here

I've got tipping enabled on this post lmao

Here's my ko-fi

Here's my Amazon wishlist, I have the occasional expensive thing on there because I also use it for things I plan to buy myself eventually

Here's my Throne, I have surprise gifts enabled so in theory you can send me random weird shit as a prank if that's something that appeals to you

#original #affiliate links jsyk #i wanted to have these all in one place even though it's probably a bad look lmao

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shinelikethunder · 5 months

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THANK YLU SO MUCH OH MY WORD????? I actually feel like I understand all of this now… thank you for going through it so thoroughly, that’s so nice of you oh my gosh🥺

Also yeah Firefox rules— but… ahsjshdh again, weird question, any particular extension you’d recommend (other than uBlock origin)? I’ve seen people say you should keep extensions to a minimum as to not make your browser fingerprint super unique or something? But blocking cookies does sound cool, and I also didn’t know you could do that w/ extensions? I’ll leave you alone now I promise😭

you're welcome! i can't believe i've become one of the obnoxious Linux evangelists, but much like Tumblr, it's become the least-bad OS left standing just by continuing to get minor quality-of-life improvements while its competitors race to make themselves annoying to the point of unusability.

so the thing about browser fingerprinting is 1. it's less common than abuse of tracking cookies, and exists partially as a fallback to keep tracking you even when you're blocking the easier methods, 2. Firefox now does its best to block it, 3. if you're using Firefox on a desktop Linux computer, that is probably much more identifying in and of itself than any given combination of popular extensions. i've pretty much embraced privacy nihilism on that particular issue.

you still want to be choosy about your add-ons, though, because they can see and manipulate pretty much everything you do in your browser, and malicious ones can really fuck your shit up. uBlock Origin is maybe the most trusted adblocker out there, Multi-Account Container tabs is developed by Mozilla itself, and Privacy Badger is an EFF project, so i have no qualms recommending any of them. personally i run a few more on top of that: Decentraleyes and ClearURLs to mop up a couple more kinds of tracking crud; separate extensions to force all Amazon/Facebook/etc browsing to be quarantined in dedicated containers; a password manager; and just for the sake of fun & minor website tinkering, Tampermonkey and XKit Rewritten. your mileage may vary on the risks vs. benefits; useful and popular browser add-ons have been taken over in the past by bad actors.

i'm definitely not claiming this add-on stack is a cure-all for anything, because there's no way to fully escape the data parasites while still existing in society. it does, however, noticeably increase my level of peace and fucking quiet on the interweb, as well as affording me the petty satisfaction of making their jobs more difficult.

#anonymous #recs

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jackie5656 · 1 year

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Too Soon With; James Potter (ATJ)

A/N: Hello, again? I’m really surprised with myself. Two stories in two days, haven’t had that motivation since quarantine. I’ve been sick lately and couldn’t get this idea out of my mind. Was gonna make it short but one thing led to another and here we are. This is technically a sequel to my first James writing which you can read here, but it’s not entirely necessary. Anyways, please leave a comment or reblog if you enjoy, truly makes a huge difference. <3

Summary: The one where James is definitely not sick, and you make an acute slip up of words.

TW: None, this time around. :)

“I’m here, what happened?” You practically burst into the marauders dormitory, knapsack half-zipped with textbooks and quills threatening to spill over. Remus sits atop the counter in shock, toast hanging from his mouth as he shrugs.

“The note, from, from the owl,” you attempt to catch your breath as you explain, “said there was an emergency.” Remus rolls his eyes, shooting a pointed look to Sirius who waltzes into the room, taking a moment to read your disheveled appearance. Guilt, and a hint of fear, overcomes his pleased expression at seeing you.

“Oh, sorry. That was me, we have a...Situation.” Sirius flinches as you approach him, having taken the newspaper from Remus’ hand to roll it up and whack the raven-haired boy on the head.

“I-thought-one-of-you-were-hurt!” You accentuate every piece of the sentence with another whack of the newsletter. Handing it back to a very amused Remus.

“Awe, love. You hear that Moons? She loves us, cares about us!”

“And she’s about to castrate you, what on Earth is so emergent that I’ve run all the way from the library?” You push the misplaced strands of hair from your face with an exasperated sigh.

“James is sick, some sort of respiratory thing I think, or maybe strep. Not entirely sure.” Remus explains. pulling your sack from your shoulder and organizing it’s contents. Holding up a crumpled pouch of cookies from the bottom with a disciplinary glare. You ignore his doting, despite the blush of your cheeks.

“Alright, so he should go to the infirmary.” You note simply, albeit concerned for your boyfriend.

“See, that’s the issue, love.” Sirius replies, exchanging a knowing look with Remus who shakes his head. You look between them, utterly confused until said boyfriend shuffles into the dorm, looking positively miserable.

There’s a frightening, completely out of character hunch to James’ shoulders. He enters the dormitory with a hoarse cough and small sniffle. A tuft of spare tissues peeking from his robes’ pocket. He looks up and beams at the sight of you, watery eyes, red nose and all. Absolutely pleased with your presence. “Hey, dove. What are you doing here? I thought you were doing homework with Lill’s?” He sets his things down with another cough, head quirking in confusion when you clutch your necklace, brows taught with concern.

“Oh, James.” You mutter, walking toward him to hold his head in your hands, a short intake of breath when the skin of his cheeks is scolding to the touch.

“What’s gotten into you?” He laughs, though a little hesitant as he takes your wrists in his hold, a flash of hurt slashing his kind smile when you dodge his kiss in greeting.

“You can’t. You’re ill, James.” The taller boy laughs, shaking his head with a relieved sigh.

“Dove, of course I’m not ill. Just a bit of allergies, that’s all.” You turn to look at Remus and Sirius, who echo a chorus of melodramatic groans. A clear sign they’re familiar with the boy’s stubborn denial. “I swear it! Look, look at this!” His hands slither to your underarms, lifting you into the air a couple times and gently setting you down. “Lads, this body is an absolute temple, quidditch season is about to commence and I’m in the best shape possible.” This time, you all groan, having to force your eyes to not completely swivel to the back of your skull at his blinding ego.

“James, you spent the entirety of last night coughing. You barely slept.” Remus chimes in, running a clean dish towel under cool water and passing it to you. James grabs your wrist once more, cringing away from your attempt to place it on his forehead.

“Alright, if you’re such a beacon of health, you wouldn’t mind taking a quick trip to the infirmary? This way we can all be sure?” Sirius holds back a grin at his own words. James falters, squirming past you and into the kitchen, grabbing an apple from the bowl from the counter on his way and taking a large bite. Superstitions heavy on his mind as he vehemently shakes his head.

“Absolutely not, no infirmary.”

You cross your arms, wry smile overcoming your features. “I didn’t know you were afraid of doctors, Potter.”

“Am not!” James refuses again, pouting through a mouthful of apple.

“And so it begins.” Sirius hops over the back of the couch so that he can lay down, arm draping over his eyes in exhaustion.

*******

“Just let me hold you, I’m dying.” James whines, grabbing at air. He’s an absolute mess, feverish and sweaty with juxtaposing chills. You’ve given him some of Remus’ healing potions, but they only relieve the symptoms temporarily. And, like most medicines, can only be taken in dosages.

“I’m sorry, love. You know I can’t.” It takes everything in you to ignore his requests, heart aching at his suffering. He groans, rolling over and coughing in the mess that is his sheets.

Sirius forces a gag, looking for support from Remus who only ignores his immaturity. “I almost miss when they hated each other, Rem. I mean seriously. He’s so lovesick it’s actually unbearable.”

“Eat-” James falls into a coughing fit, taking a deep breath before croaking out “slugs.”

“What was that, mate? Couldn’t hear you over the hacking up a lung.”

“Sirius, not helping.” You scold, waving the teasing boy away. “We have to compromise, James. If you won’t go to the infirmary then you’re on bed rest.” You chide, offering a soft smile when he begins to soften his hazel eyes in hopes you might give in.

“I’ll be behind in all my classes!” He tries, attempting to rise from his sheets.

“Exactly why we’ll all be taking notes for you. Make-up homework and all.” Remus adds, waving his quill in hand for emphasis. James settles as you run your hand over his shoulders, frame tense from all the coughing and shivering.

“And don’t worry, Prongs,” Sirius starts, mischief prevalent in his tone. “Y/n and I will get the group project in transfigurations started. I think we’ll make a pretty good pair in your absence.” He throws an arm over your shoulder, boisterous laugh echoing throughout the bedroom once James lunges, his smug friend shooting him a suggestive wink. You’re in front of him immediately, hands at his chest to cease his attack, rolling your eyes when Sirius jumps behind Remus to hide.

“He’s only teasing, James. Relax.”

“Not fair! This isn’t fair.” He’s a six foot something child, weak charges finally settling when you press a kiss to each one of his cheeks and then his forehead. He goes for your lips, biting his own when you shake your head. throwing himself onto the mattress in a melodramatic, slightly dazed, tantrum.

“Just leave me, the lot of you.”

“We’ll be back soon Prongs, promise.” Theres only a defeated grunt muffled by a pillow in response, the three of you slinking out of the dormitory as quietly as possible. You’re the last one headed out the door, prepared to lock it behind you when something catches your eye. Potter leans against the doorway with a deep frown, pitifully clutching a throw blanket around him as he watches you leave. You’re pretty sure your heart breaks in two, because in a second you’re dropping your bags and fitting yourself into his heavy arms.

“I’m sorry you can’t come, love. We really won’t be long.”

“You’ll update me on everything that happens?”

“Definitely.”

“Even if it’s something small, like Pads spilling his ink or Mcgonagall calling on him when he clearly isn’t paying attention?”

“I promise, Potter. Now please, get some rest. There’s a kettle on the stove if you want any tea later on. And I’ll bring up some broth for you when I come back.” You run a thumb over one of his unkempt brows, tussled from sleep. He takes your hand in his, kissing it’s palm. A deep sigh escaping his lips when you hear the boys calling for you in the distance. You turn to leave, throat tightening at how miserable he looks before halting. His hand tugging on your robes to pull you into his chest. He presses a soft kiss to your neck, long enough to have you melting in his hold. Of course, he’s absolutely aware of what he’s doing. Convincing, but not enough to make you miss any classes.

“Thank you, so much. For taking care of me. I know I’ve given you a hard time.” He pulls away, running a thumb over your lips as he cradles your jaw, full of sincerity.

“James, you don’t ever have to feel like you need to earn my love.” His brows raise, teasing evident in his expression as you flush. You’ve used the word much too early. And it’s your cue to press a quick peck to his jaw and hurry out the door without another word.

*********

“So, you really said it?” Sirius nudges your foot as he whispers, finding way too much amusement in your horror.

“This is why I shouldn’t confide in you, Pads.” You mutter through clenched teeth, the pair of you smiling at a scornful Mcgonagall, quick to look busy for the configurations professor.

“What did he say?”

“Nothing.”

“Nothing?”

“I sort of, rushed out the door before he could reply.” You slink into your seat, wanting to hide underneath your robes as Sirius beams.

“Brilliant.”

“Brilliant? Siri, I’m an idiot!” You’re bewildered at his ecstatic nature, forcing a hushed tone despite your passion.

“In case you haven’t notice, my love, Prongs is head over heels. Your accidental confession will have him up and at it in no time. With quidditch practices approaching, Gryffindor needs him at his best.” Your jaw drops, astonished with the boy you dare to call your good friend.

“You can’t seriously be thinking about quidditch right now.”

“I would hope not,” your sharp-faced professor interrupts, tapping the beginnings of a group project in front of you with her wand, “seeing as there’s an assignment that needs to be worked on.”

“Sorry, Professor.” You and Sirius chide weakly, putting your heads down as she continues down the rows of desks.

**********

“Honey, we’re home!” Sirius shouts as you enter the dormitory, Remus setting the broth saved from lunch hour on the counter. James exits the bedroom, hair tussled with sleep, but an undeniable grin on his face. He yawns, stretching so tall the hem of his shirt exposes the skin of his stomach. You take a moment to admire the revealed muscle, head ripping away when you see you’ve been caught.

“Looks like you got some much needed rest.” Remus points out, gathering your shared notes from the day’s classes in one binder.

“I did,” James starts, hazel eyes trailing over to you with a wry smirk “had a good dream, I guess.” Seems only you pick up on his suggestive tone, as the two other boys snap their heads at you when you choke on your own saliva.

“Hope you’re not catching what he has, love.” Remus feels your forehead, lips taught in confusion when you feel completely fine.

“Poor thing does look a little flushed, doesn’t she?” James adds, maneuvering his head to try and meet your eyes. Sheepish expression driving him mad with adoration.

“Fine, thanks.” Is all you say, surveying the room for nothing in particular before letting out a contented sigh. “Alright, well if you’re feeling better I should probably head over to the library. I gave Lily a raincheck last time, considering I had to leave so unexpectedly.” You throw a look to Sirius, voice drawn in accusation. He ignores this, looking between you and very self-satisfied James inquisitively, sure he’s missed something in this conversation.

“Leaving so soon, love? Thought you’d stay with me for a bit longer.” Potter sniffles, but you’re sure it’s not as sincere as the symptoms from before. Cheeky bastard.

“I’ve overstayed my welcome long enough. Lilly will be waiting, anyway.”

“You’re never a bother, you know that,” Remus glares, almost offended at the notion. “Besides, we have potions homework you said you needed help with.”

“Right, so you should definitely meet us there! See you all later.” And with that, you’re out the door as quick as you came.

*********

“Merlin, and what did he say back?”

“Nothing, Lills’. I rushed out straight away.” The red-head hums, tapping the feather of her quill to her chin in contemplation.

“It’s fine, y/n. Potter is totally smitten over you.” Marlene reassures, finishing a potions problem with a satisfied breath.

“That’s what Sirius said.”

“So, what’s the issue then?”

“It’s still too soon, Lilly. He’s going to think I’m crazy. I’ll scare him off. Besides, I’m not even sure I’m ready to be at that stage with him. This just confuses things.” You frown, brows drawn with stress as the girls nod knowingly. Despite the reassurance of your friends, it’s no doubt this situation complicates things.

Yet another owl swoops above you, dropping a letter into your lap and landing in the empty chair beside you. Cooing as you run the hook of your finger over the feathers of it’s chest.

“Oh great, not again.” Lilly jokes, having to muffle her own laugh when a Ravenclaw across the room glares at the lot of your hushed whispers.

You’re halfway through opening it’s contents before stopping, quirking your head at a beaming Marlene.

“What has you so smiley?”

“That isn’t Sirius’ owl.” She grins further, looking down and continuing her work instead of elaborating. You chew your bottom lip in thought, finishing with the envelope and gasping as it flutters into the air. In a whimsical, absolutely mortifying display. A mixture of red and pink paper hearts erupt into the air. Fluttering around you and then dissipating. You cover your face with the sleeves of your robes, absolutely flushed. Despite your mortification at the public display of affection, something Potter is well aware you’re not too keen of, your heart flutters.

Around you, practically every one of your peers swoons. Well aware the charmed love letter is coming from the infamous Gryffindor chaser. All except, of course, the dignified Ravenclaw, who gathers his books in an aggravated stupor and heads to a different section of the library.

“How lovely!” Lily clasps her hands together in pure joy as Marlene beside her, blowing on the remnants of ashes from the over the top display.

“I’m going to kill him.” Is all you manage, finally looking down at the familiar calligraphy to read it’s contents.

“If you’re completely flushed, curling in on yourself after opening this, I believe I’ve done my job. Thank you again, for taking care of me. I could live a million lifetimes and not deserve your heart. Love always, James.”

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cinnajun · 9 months

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ᵕ̈ ೫˚∗: cooking with zb1

a/n: i’m not the greatest cook myself so apologies if some of this is terribly misinformed, but i can bake okay (during quarantine i’d bake when in class sooo)

notes: yujin is not included due to his age!

wc | 1.4k

jiwoong is a monster when it comes to cooking, but NOT baking. give this man a grill and a slab of meat and you have a masterpiece, but give him a mixing bowl and a recipe and he’s clueless. as such, assuming you’re a good baker, you and jiwoong are the perfect summer barbecue couple, and the ideal dinner party couple. but, i think the real fun is when you make jiwoong bake with you—you offer as much help as you can, but let him take the wheel. he can make it through brownies and cookies, but his weakness is bread—he doesn’t like how long he has to wait. he also doesn’t understand why he has to punch the dough???? i also think he doesn’t understand why you need to make it yourself when you can just go to the store…and when you say you can buy cookies at the store too, he says it’s “different.” okay then!

zhang hao is a princess and therefore does not cook or bake. and, when he does, it is a meal only HIS taste buds enjoy…my reference is whatever he was doing in camp zb1 with that soup. the nice thing is that he loves whatever you make, no matter what it is. you could put slop in front of him and, as long as it was constructed by you, he would eat the entire bowl. hao feels very loved when you cook him a meal or bake him a little treat, especially when he comes home to it. there’s no better feeling (in his opinion) than opening the front door and immediately smelling a batch of cookies cooling on the kitchen counter. because he’s far from home, i think hao will feel especially warm when he comes home to you making any sort of food he had often back home—so perhaps give his mom a call and ask for some recipes.

sung hanbin can’t cook very well, but can bake okay! perhaps you’ll be gifted some cold toast from time to time, but at least it comes with the opportunity to look at his face. but, if you ask hanbin for a fun drink … THAT is a different story. sung hanbin is the god of fun drinks, so if you’re a beverage person, he’s the exact right guy for you to date. he has a million fancy drink tools in his kitchen (an espresso machine, a high-tech blender that costs an arm and a leg, etc) and can make you anything you want. he also can make a MEAN shirley temple, which is an essential quality in a person. hanbin’s absolute favorite thing to do though is have you bake some fun dessert that he can make the perfect drink to pair it with—whether it be bitter coffee or a sweet smoothie, it brings him a lot of joy. it also brings him a lot of joy to enjoy both of the creations with you while you tell him all about how your week went.

matthew can do everything in the kitchen. say what you will, but MAN, matthew can make a MEAL. i mean the fries he made on camp zb1 looked so delicious and he straight-up did that himself. i think your favorite pastime in a relationship with matthew is watching him cook because he will roll up his sleeves and chop away at whatever he’s making, making the muscles come out. especially if he’s dealing with anything that might be sort of tough, and he often is because he likes to show off—if you ask him to make you an apple pie, he will rip the apples in half in front of you. i also think he likes to narrate what he’s doing like he’s on a cooking show, and will proceed to tell you that there’s going to be a test on what he taught the next day. matthew loves cooking for you, so make sure you let him know that you love what he cooks with a kiss on the cheek and a big “thank you” :)

taerae is decently good at both. he’s not exactly the best cook or the number one baker, but he knows enough to make some good food. i think he’d prefer cooking/baking with you rather than by himself, and you pretty much do, too. one of you will pick a recipe and assign tasks to the other, whether it be chopping up a carrot or grating some cheese. sometimes, he’ll jokingly pretend like he’s gordon ramsey and sarcastically joke about how “bad” you are at skinning the potato, and other times he will shout these bizarre “you’re doing great!” messages while he’s trying not to burn himself taking something out of the oven. then, when you’re close to finishing the food, you’ll sometimes throw together an easy dessert, like brownies or mug cakes, which will be done right as you finish eating. together, the two of you can make pretty good meals!

ricky is solidly okay at cooking, and not as okay at baking. i don’t think it’s intrinsic to him, though, he just never really tried to teach himself how to do either. he can boil water and make himself instant noodles, but he’s not crafting a perfectly cooked salmon over the most delicious rice you’ve ever had. there are other things ricky would instead dedicate himself to, like dancing or upgrading his wardrobe, so he’s never tried to upgrade his cooking skills. in fact, he’s kind of glad he never did, because now he can force you to teach him all that he wants to know. he basks in the light of your complete attention as you help him peel a potato, your hands over his as you drag the peeler across the vegetable. then, when you finish the meal, he revels in your praise as you compliment his “newfound skills” in pasta making. just make sure not to tell him you know what he’s doing.

i think gyuvin would be good at both!! judging by his snack bag, he cares a lot about yummy food and thus can carry himself in the kitchen. although, i think he’d be a lot better at baking than cooking. it’s just easier to follow a recipe to a t, and once you teach yourself how to gauge whether or not something is over-mixed, it’s smooth sailing from there. from soft and custardy lemon bars to hard-headed creme brulee, gyuvin loves gifting you with little sweet treats every week. when you were in high school, he’d bake you a treat and give it to you every friday, loving how your eyes would light up at the sight of his mom’s purple tupperware. in particular, i think gyuvin would be a good cake baker, and he absolutely goes all out for your birthday. flowers crafted with icing, any flavor your heart desires, and the most beautiful array of candles he could find—it makes you happier than you can describe. and then he gets you a super lame gift because he spent all his money on cake supplies lol

gunwook is a cook, but decidedly not a baker. his specialties happen to be any sort of stir fry and really good instant noodles, and his weaknesses are anything that requires him to stick a knife in to check if it’s done. he refuses to learn how to bake, too, because the idea that he isn’t immediately good at something terrifies him to the core and makes him feel a little sick to his stomach. the thing is, though, you don’t even know gunwook is a terrible baker for at least a year of your relationship. you automatically assume he can bake yummy cookies just from how delicious the meals he makes for you are. so, when you ask him to make you cookies and he says no almost instantly, you’re absolutely shocked—and then he lets it slip that he can’t bake for the life of him. you then learn that he hates it when you bring it up, so you stay quiet and let him sulk on his own, enjoying the taste of his yummy pork stir fry.

thank you for reading !

tags: @happysmileybee @wtfhyuck

#cinna.zb1 #zb1 x reader #zerobaseone x reader #zb1 fluff #zb1 reactions #zb1 headcanons #zb1 scenarios #jiwoong x reader #zhang hao x reader #sung hanbin x reader #seok matthew x reader #taerae x reader #shen ricky x reader #gyuvin x reader #gunwook x reader #req

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fox-bright · 24 days

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In Response to the H5N1 Ask:

I'm not answering the ask with your name on it, because I think you came off poorly, and I'm not in the habit of pointing my followers at people when I feel this angry at them. But having had some fresh chocolate chip cookies, some cat snuggles, some sifu-husband hugs, some delightful kindly asks from people who are prepared to behave like equals today and no shortage of groupchat “Would you look at the fucking cojones on THIS one?!” mockery, I now feel settled enough to take this line by line.

So let’s do it.

Hello. I am someone who works alongside people in ornithology. Hi! I work alongside a master of IT and frequently work arm-in-arm with medical doctors. What does that make me? I’m not a sysadmin and you’d better not trust me to install an arterial stent.

Your bird flu post was linked to me and I would like to privately share some reassurance about H1N1 as well as some problems I have with your post.

My post was about H5N1. H1N1 is the swine flu.

Bird flu has been studied for years and indeed is very lethal to humans, but it does not have the same viral characteristics as a mammal-originating virus like COVID does. This is not a useful statement. Bird flu has been studied for decades—over a century, in fact, as the 1918 flu was an avian influenza. You know, the one that killed tens of millions of people, to the point that it derailed a world war? Personally, I have been paying attention to and reading research papers about H5N1 since 2015, and giving my very close attention to it for the last five years.

Since the SARS outbreak, vaccines and treatments for these rare case of direct bird-to-human flu transmission have been developed and have been poised to be deployed immediately should direct bird-to-human transmission ever occur. Let’s be clear: bird-to-human transmission is occurring too frequently. More than eight hundred times in the last twenty years, and more and more rapidly in recent years, and again, more than half of those were lethal. That tends to be from exposure to wild animals hunted for food, or exposure to home-raised animals who get sick from wild animals. Bird-to-human transmission is not yet occurring frequently in the States, where our food is generally factory-produced and hunting is less common, but it is occurring with increasing regularity outside of the US. No vaccine will be useful to a person who is already infected (useless!); currently the treatment for infected people is antivirals and supportive care, alongside strict quarantine. Current H5N1 vaccines may or may not be very effective against any human-to-human variant, as it may have mutated to evade them. We do not have enough H5N1 vaccine doses to go around, and the ones we do will be concentrated first on the military and medical personnel.

The reason monitoring agencies and professionals are on “high alert” for these bird-to-cow-to-human incidents is because they are taking it seriously on a more theoretical level essential to their profession. Why are you so smugly, confidently incorrect? “We have never seen this scale of infections in mammals, and in such diversity of mammals. We have now seen more than 40 species of mammals infected during the last outbreaks, which is unprecedented.”

In this case, the people and cows who contracted H1N1 did not die. It’s literally been days since the human contracted it from the cows, and we do not yet know that he’s the only one. We are NOT in a position to say “okay, so things are peachy!” We also do not know how many cows have it (we’re up to what, fifteen farms now?) and we do not know how rapidly it’s evolving in those massive groups of mammals.

My first concern about your post is its lack of linked to sources and the framing of it as an advice post. The New York Times has an article available on this issue as well as the Audubon Society and various wildlife agencies. Some of these articles are a year or two old, This is the point where I started getting really pissed at you. You demand I provide citations, but you provide none. You suggest I go to the fucking New York Times to read outdated articles? So you haven’t read anything more recent, or from anywhere more reliable, and thus you don’t imagine that I have, either? Arrogance.

but that is because this strain is a very slow-moving development ABSOLUTELY not the case. It is mutating rapidly, over and over and over again. You demanded sources, so I expect you to read those, but if you’ve only got time for one, pick the last of them.

with no immediate signs of consequences for humans outside of people working directly with cattle getting sick— and these humans have neither transmitted the virus to others or suffered anything worse than pink eye from it. So since it hasn’t happened, we don’t need to worry about it happening, hmm? Are you familiar with the term “gain-of-function research?” It’s when an organism is changed, in a lab, to make it more powerful, more infectious, more virulent, something along those lines. When you put a disease into tens of thousands of animals, you’re performing a natural gain of function experiment, as it has tens of thousands of chances to mutate. The “Spanish flu” pandemic, which actually was first noted in a Kansas army base, was almost certainly the result of an avian flu infecting pigs. Pigs are really similar to us, in terms of receptors; what makes them sick is much more likely to make us sick; when this hits pigs-to-pig transmission, it’s time to batten down the hatches. Cows aren’t nearly as similar, but they’re still mammals, so they bring it a lot closer to us; and when you can get unaltered H5N1 from bodily fluids, guess what? Meat and milk are disease vectors. And we don’t actually know that pasteurization of milk inactivates the virus. As I said in my previous post, now is the time to prepare, and to be wary.

This strain is lethal and highly viral between birds and will likely remain this way for a very long time.

This strain has been rapidly, monstrously lethal to MANY animals. Sometimes in huge numbers. You may remember the mink farm where it mutated to spread mink-to-mink (those are mammals), or the sea lions (which I will point out to you are also mammals), where it spread sea lion-to-sea lion and rapidly killed them by the thousands. It’s killing polar bears. It’s killing other predators. It’s killing all manner of US mammals singly and in multiples. However, the mammal-killing mutations don’t stop it from still killing birds.

My final concern— Spring is coming and that means horny birds are about to start hitting windows. Wildlife rehabbers are currently updating the public’s general info on what to do with stunned birds— they often do not recover if left on their own to fly away after a window strike and concerned citizens need to take these birds to a rehabber immediately if found. If people read your post, they will likely conclude that bird-to-human crossover is likely and be afraid to touch a downed bird that needs emergency medical care. I want to be absolutely, painfully clear to any non-doofus reading this right now: I have loved birds since infancy. I grew up with a smalltime conservationist; I have spent no small amount of my photographic hours on birds. I have saved wild birds—poisoned by farmers, wingshot by rednecks, window-struck, sick, attacked by feral cats, orphaned by agricultural machinery--long enough to get them to rehabbers on many occasions, and I have on three occasions assisted with that rehab, including keeping very odd hours to feed nestlings with a dropper. I have assisted with ecological rehabilitation and rewilding programs to provide them with territory; I have written my politicians and donated to wildlife efforts. So know that this is not coming from a place of not respecting or loving the wildlife. This is not “framed as” or “presented as” advice, this is absolutely the advice I would give you face to face, in absolute conviction. This year? If you see a fallen bird? You WALK THE FUCK AWAY. H5N1 gives birds seizures, disorientation, clumsiness and gasping. Or, sometimes, it is completely asymptomatic, and a perfectly healthy-seeming bird could still give you the disease. You can not tell if that bird hit the window because it’s horny and stupid and you forgot to put the stickers up, or because it’s in the grip of a disease that could kill you if the creature breathes too closely to you.

Given all of this, I ask that you please delete your original bird flu post before it has the chance to scare a lot of people and potentially hinder them from helping birds. Yeah, that's not going to be happening.

If you’d like to repost it, please add linked sources and resources for those concerned about avian flu. As previously mentioned, the New York Times has an article with the latest developments on monitoring this virus. Fuck you and your ignorant superciliousness sideways. You do not walk into my fucking Asks with this bullshit like you know ANYTHING when you plainly haven’t read jack shit about the situation as it’s evolving on the ground.

Bird flu is indeed very scary but not nearly in the same league as Covid or even the seasonal flu for most people. You’re absolutely right, in absolutely the wrong direction. If-when this goes human-to-human, it will rapidly outstrip covid’s dangerousness to a shocking degree. Today, it is not dangerous to anyone who leaves birds the fuck alone, but that’s today, and we need to prepare for the potential of tomorrow.

I hope this information helps and please excuse my stiff language. I suspect I sound really angry and condescending when I haven’t had much sleep. Yeah, you came off as a total jackwagon. “This information,” you say, as if you brought ANYTHING with you but attitude.

Sorry if that’s the case, but I didn’t want anything picking up steam before sharing this with you! Please educate yourself more adequately before you attempt again to correct someone. I have myself in the past been raring to go with a correction, checked to make sure that I had my phrasing right, and been caught flatfooted by new information. It’s better to feel that embarrassing moment of “oh, shit,” and realign your understanding silently, than to go in without doing any of the work and waste someone else’s time having to educate you.

If you reply to this in any way that is even slightly confrontational, I'm just going to block you. You aren't worth my time--you weren't worth this time! I have things I am supposed to be doing!--and I genuinely hope you do better in the future.

#I have shit to DO!

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nonotnolan · 9 months

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The Great Gym Shift

Day 15 of life after the body swapping incident that affected downtown Washington DC, and life was still weird as shit. Some people were calling it the Great Shift-- a government cover-up for a science experiment gone wrong. I don’t think a two mile radius really deserves a “Great” moniker but I had to admit it was catchy. Others were calling it a terrorist bioweapon meant to cause havoc across the nation’s government. That did seem possible, but the terrorists had terrible aim if that was the case.

A few people even said it was a plan to put key politicians into younger, healthier bodies, but... I know for a fact that one isn’t true. I was there at ground zero when the swap occurred, working as a personal trainer at the gym. All those desirable bodies, mine included, went to some of the most pathetic white collar workers you could imagine. Whatever happened, it was definitely an accident.

It’s been a month, and I still haven’t gotten used to my reflection. I hope I never do, to be honest. The government is working on getting this whole mess resolved, and I can only hope it will be sooner rather than later. I’ve never had hair this long, and I am in desperate need a of a haircut. Since it’s not my body, I’d have to fill out a requisition form, and I keep hoping it won’t come to that.

One of the first things the Government did was send in the National Guard to put everyone affected into a quarantined hotel area, and then they started drowning us in regulations and paperwork. I’m still working as a personal trainer... only now most of my clients are lazy office drones. Those desirable bodies I mentioned? I’m in charge of making sure their new owners keep them in shape. I’m slowly losing my sanity.

“Mitch! What in the hell do you think you’re doing?” I said, walking out into our shared kitchen. Uncle Sam was putting us up in some very nice accommodations, I had to admit, but my clients-turned-roommates left a lot to be desired.

“C’mon Grady, it’s Saturday,” he said, as if that was supposed to be an answer. I kept starting at him until he continued. “Saturday is my self-care day, and today that means Netflix and cookies. I don’t see what the big deal is...”

“Absolutely not,” I said, holding out my hand. “Give me those, that is way too many calories for one serving. We’re sharing those with the whole floor.” He rolled his eyes and sighed at me, but at least he obeyed me. I can’t help but feel self-conscious bossing all of these men around, especially when they’re large enough to beat me to a pulp if they knew how to leverage their strength. The real Mitch was a lanky college intern who had no idea how to build or maintain muscle mass. Russ would’ve had a heart attack if he was here to see even half the things Mitch wanted to do in that body.

As I walked the plate of cookies out to the common area, I couldn’t help but notice that Larry was still sitting at his room’s computer desk, shirtless and surrounded by a few wadded tissues. Gross, but... I’ve seen Larry’s old body. I can’t entirely blame the old pervert. “Please tell me you didn’t stay up all night watching porn again.”

He just smiled at me, his bloodshot eyes telling me everything that I needed to know. “So what if I did, Grady, it’s Saturday. The fitness schedule you made for me says I don’t have to work out today, and a sleep schedule isn’t a part of the body cohabitation contract we all signed. As long as I still eat three healthy meals today, you can’t make me do anything. So how about giving me some privacy?” He was right, of course. Larry was one of my most frustrating clients, because he knew exactly how to do the bare minimum and nothing more. Tana was one of the gym’s biggest over-achievers, so seeing his body do a complete 180 had been quite the adjustment.

I knew better than to engage with him right now-- better to save my strength for fights that I would be able to win. I set the cookies down in our shared kitchen, waved at a few of the other guys, and retreated back to the bedroom I shared with one other man.

Simon smiled at me, and I could feel my frustrations starting to lift away. “Good morning, Grady. Rough start?” he asked, looking up from his book. Simon was a licensed psychologist who happened to be at a nearby Industry Convention when the Great Shift happened, and I was so glad to have his assistance dealing with all of the heated emotions that boiled over during the aftermath. Furthermore, Simon had ended up in my body. It was a relief to know that my body was being controlled by someone responsible, even if seeing myself each day came with its own set of weird situations.

"You have no idea,” I said, shaking my head. “Or rather, you have an exact idea, because you’ve also had to deal with those guys. I don’t suppose you would be up for some... stress release?” I asked, peeling off my tank top and tossing it onto the floor.

He laughed, quickly setting aside his book and his glasses. “In this body? Always!” Was it weird that I was having sex with my own body? Maybe, but honestly, our daily hookups felt like one of the least weird things about this whole mess. I always knew I was an attractive man, and I’ve always been attracted to anyone who keeps themselves healthy, regardless of gender. Presumably that’s how Simon now felt-- I know that ever since I’ve been in this new Twink body, I have only felt attraction for hairy men. Sexual attraction seemed to follow the body, not the inhabitant.

“Do you ever worry that we’re complicating things?” Simon asked. “For whenever the government is able to switch everyone back into the right bodies, I mean. They’ve told our loved ones that we’re in quarantine, but... how can we go back to normal life when this is all over?” I understood where he was coming from-- his real body was at least twenty years older, and while he didn’t like sharing too much about his life, I’d gotten the impression he had a wife and maybe a few grandkids waiting for him back home.

Simon clearly had a tendency to overthink everything, and I was now used to offering friendly advice while his warm load was still inside of me. “Honestly, I think we’re dealing with a stressful situation, and we’re all just coping however we can. There’s nothing wrong with two consenting adults having sex. And I don’t know about you, but... if I didn’t try to get a wide range of experiences inside of this temporary body, I think I’d regret the missed opportunity forever.”

He smiled at me. “I suppose you’re right,” he said, as he sipped on cheap hotel coffee. “’In sickness or in health’ wasn’t really meant to cover something so impossible. And I’d rather seek forgiveness than forever ponder what might have been.”

“Glad to hear it,” I said, smiling back at him. I think we both knew it was a bit selfish, but how else could we be expected to process these strange new desires? Yeah, I guess I felt a bit guilty having sex with someone other than my girlfriend back home, but... when else would I ever get an opportunity to have sex with myself? I don’t think there is a person alive who could blame me.

#male body swap #gay body swap #after the swap #muscle jock #great shift

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cairavende · 3 months

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Worm Arc 17 thoughts:

Travelers backstory!!!!!!!!! WOOOO!!!!!!

HOLY SHIT THEY ARE FROM EARTH ALEPH! That really explains the mysterious nature of their backstory up to now.

Would have loved to get some PoV's from some people who aren't Trickster but I'll live.

He's just such an asshole! Like I already knew he was but god DAMN did this arc remove any doubt.

Just the worst type of asshole that can be found in MOBA games (I say this as someone who played MOBA games for years). And then given superpowers. Ugh.

THE SIMURGH FUCKING HELL OH MY GOD I LOVE HER!!!!!!!!!

SHE IS MY FAVORITE ENDBRINGER AND ONE OF MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS EVEN IF SHE IS SUPER DUPER EVIL AND TERRIBLE! BUT SHE JUST SINGS IN EVERYONE'S HEADS AND THEY SEE THINGS THAT SHE WANTS THEM TO SEE AND SHE SEES THE FUTURE AND CREATES A CAUSE AND EFFECT PLAGUE BASICALLY AND I LOVE HER!!

Just the level of planning ahead she does, the number of moves ahead Simmy is playing. After the first few times she shows up they start quarantining where she attacks. Which ends up being exactly the right situation needed to push the Travelers to the choices she wanted them to make. Like, is quarantining even a counter to the Smurph or is it exactly what she wanted?

Sure precogs mess with precogs. That makes sense. But I don't know that it is as clear cut as Coil presented to Trickster. He implies two precogs just cancel each other out, but I assume it's more of a strength thing - a strong precog will cancel out a weak precog, but a weak precog will only make things a little fuzzier for a strong precog. So having Dinah would have helped against the Simurgh but I don't think it would be enough to just cancel out the Simurgh's power. Coil and Tattletale would probably also help. But I'm not convinced the last few months in Brockton Bay hasn't been more or less what Simmy wanted to happen.

Cody is the only person here that is probably more of an asshole than Krouse. Just could not get over the fact that Noelle didn't want to date him. Unbearably entitled dick. Possibly dead now, if Accord got his way. But very possibly not. Won't be surprised if he shows up again.

Cody's power is fun. I think it's the first "time travel" power I've seen. I mean Clockblocker does time freezing which is basically the same category but still, curious to see if we get any more level of time travel than this.

Marissa needs someone to make her some cookies and give her a place to hang out that isn't the house her mom lives in. I mean, I guess the current situation handles that but not how I meant.

I already liked Jess and now I like her even more. She's a cape geek! Wonderful.

Luke is interesting cause he was the only person besides Noelle who was close to Krouse at the start, but he's the first (well, aside from Cody I guess) to leave him. Really went through a character arc. Also Krouse lists Luke's "individual tragedy" as "not getting to fly" which is hysterical.

Oliver is a trans girl. Headcanon 100% established. It just fits so well. She just needs to find herself! And once she does and realizes what she actually wants to look like her power will get her there and won't need to keep adjusting! Right now Oliver's power is doing performative masculinity for them.

Noelle has had a bad time. God damn. She was having a bad time before everything happened and now she's having a very bad time. Damn. I had some guesses about her correct. Figured she was like, monstrous bottom half and normal top half. And figured touching her was bad. But I didn't foresee "touching her creates mutated evil clones". I'm sure that won't be a major problem in the next arc or two. I'm sure there won't be evil mutated clones of a bunch of capes to deal with . . .

I had long figured Travelers had Cauldron powers. It just fit with their power levels and such. I had also figured whatever Noelle's condition was, it was related to having a Cauldron power. I had a lot of guesses. None of them were "only drinks half a vial". For some reason I thought everyone would be too smart to do THAT! (I have no idea why I thought that.)

Current guess is Noelle is sort of in a never ending "trigger" event. Her power is constantly in the "building and gathering" phase and is not reaching the "lock things down" phase that normally happens (Bonesaw talked about this). Definitely a lot of other things it could be, this is just the best fit I've found so far.

This goes for Oliver too, which is why their power keeps changing how they look. Oliver just got lucky and has much less significant troubles compared to Noelle.

Got to see lots of new Case 53's. That was fun.

I expect to see more of Accord in the future. Just cause like, he gets smarter the more complex the problem. And the world is supposedly going to end due to (I think) the actions of higher dimensional entities. That is a very complex problem. And at the same time, he seems like the kind of person that might see "billions die" as a good way to reduce chaos. To simplify the world. Not saying that is what he will do, just that it seems a shame to not bring him up again.

I knew 40 people had died due to actions of the Travelers. I did not know Noelle had eaten them all! Because she tried to starve herself. I can see why it's important to keep her well fed. And why it's going to be an issue that there is no longer someone providing her with thousands of dollars of meat a week. No waste though, she has a very efficient digestive system.

The ending, with Trickster just staring at the bloodstain left behind by Coil's body while Genesis stares out at the ocean ... very good. I mean, really sucks for them, but it was a very evocative arc ending.

I wonder who won the Ransack tournament? One team disconnected because the building they were in disappeared into a space hole. I wonder what the rules are for that?

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fairyhaos · 10 months

Text

. ˚ in my arms

requested by @cinnamoroxie : seungkwan legit so good when you’re having a panic attack, he’ll sit down w you and rub your back, go thru breathing exercises, and also hes such a good listener 💔

pairing: seungkwan x gn!reader

genre: fluff, hurt/comfort, established relationship

word count: 1792

warnings: descriptions of panic attack/ meltdown

notes: if someone knows where to find a seungkwan then pls hmu i need one asap actually

summary: seungkwan has always admired your ability to keep calm, but when the moment comes that you need someone to fall into, he'll always be ready to offer his arms.

You've been locked away in your room for several hours now, and Seungkwan is more than a little worried.

It's early June, and exams are in full swing. In the weeks of revision leading up to this, he's seen you be relatively calm, perhaps a little more snappish and tense than usual, but still rather put together and composed.

Your composure, your ability to not dissolve into an inconsolable ball of stress while preparing for exam weeks, is something that Seungkwan is still so in awe of.

However, that doesn’t mean you don’t have meltdowns of your own.

He’s seen them before—the aftermath of them, that is, after having come home to you surrounded by your friends on the couch, watching ‘Legally Blonde’ for the twentieth time with swollen eyes and a sniffly nose and a smile on your face. You never like to talk about it afterwards, but he knows.

Seungkwan can recognise the post-breakdown signs. Sometimes he gets like that too.

But even so, he’s never been there to witness you going through it. As the minutes tick by, with you barely even having come out of your room once since this morning, it’s safe to say his worry has gone from just a little to rather extreme.

That’s why right now, he’s standing outside your door, a plate of biscuits in his hands. He’s been here for several minutes now, just staring at the door, wondering whether he should knock or go in.

He respects your unspoken want for some personal space today, but if that personal space manifests itself as self-quarantining and possibly driving you to your own insanity, then he’s not quite sure if he should respect that.

He’s still outside your door, just staring at the painted wooden structure—it’s a nice white, maybe a little yellowed with age, but still nice—when the door suddenly swings open, and he’s met with your surprised face.

“Kwan?”

Seungkwan blinks, and then softens, seeing the way your hair is all messed up and your shoulders are sagged with exhaustion, holding up the plate like a peace offering. “Hi baby. I come with hugs and cookies. Would you care for some?”

Your eyes immediately go to the plate and then to his face, and something in your eyes looks like it’s trembling. His own eyes immediately widen, concerned.

“Y/N? Y/N, love, are you okay?”

And then, abruptly, you burst into tears.

He’s stepping towards you instantly, one hand automatically coming up to cradle the back of your head as you hold a hand over your mouth, sinking to the floor. As you go down, he goes down with you, and he sets down the plate, not caring if the cookies fall and get crumbs all over the floor, wrapping both arms around you and pulling you to his chest.

You’re trying to muffle your sobs into your hand, and that just breaks his heart. Seungkwan rocks you from side to side, making soft hushing noises.

“Shh, shh, it’s okay,” he says quietly. “I’m here. I’m here for you.”

He has one hand in your hair, the other wrapped around your back, soothingly rubbing up and down your side. He’s whispering in your ear, telling you he’s here, that he’s not going anywhere, that it’s okay to cry.

And eventually, you make a soft wailing sound, and the hand comes away from your mouth and you cry into his shoulder.

It makes Seungkwan tear up, just a little, hearing the utterly devastating sounds you’re making. You grip him as if he’s your last lifeline, fists shaking through handfuls of his shirt, and he knows that he’d never leave you, even if he were able to.

Not when you were like this. Never like this.

Not ever.

You’re still crying, still wetting his shoulder with your stress, but now you’re making hiccupping noises, trying to talk, and he’s softly telling you that it’s okay, but you continue trying anyway.

“I’m just— I— Kwan, I’m going to fa—ail—” and then the rest of your sentence is incomprehensible, melting into more tears.

You sound so broken, like you’ve been standing on the edge of a cliff for far too long and have finally been pushed. He feels like he’s been pushed with you, his heart swooping worriedly in tandem with yours, and he just hugs you harder.

“No, no, baby, you’re not,” he says, but you just shake your head rapidly, crying. “Listen to me, you’re going to be okay. I promise.”

“N—No, I’m—I can’t do it, I c—can’t do it,” you sob, words fragmented and exhausted. “It’s too hard, I’m n—not good enou—gh.”

You’re breathing rapidly now, big breaths that sound shallow, shaking uncontrollably in his hold.

Seungkwan faintly registers that you’re both still kneeling in the doorway, and as you begin hyperventilating in his arms, he unwraps himself from around you, holding onto your hand and pulling you to your feet, guiding you into your room and onto your bed.

Your eyes are red with exhaustion and now with tears, and you look like a small child as you just let Seungkwan drag you onto the bed, cheeks wet and frame hunched and meek, trembling violently. It makes Seungkwan’s heart hurt, aching to make you feel better.

“Breathe for me,” Seungkwan says, sitting cross-legged opposite you. “Y/N, it's okay, darling, breathe for me.” He takes your hands, trying to get you to look at him. “You can do it, love, do this for me.”

You don’t look like you’re fully in the present, eyes unfocused, swaying even as you continue to sob uncontrollably, shaking. He cups your cheeks, his hands a little cool on your overheating face, and it makes you drag your gaze back to him, hiccupping and breathing erratically.

“Y/N, you’re with me, aren’t you?” he says, gently, smiling. The tears continue to pool in your eyes, but you're looking at him, at least. “Don’t worry, love. You’re doing okay.”

That makes the tears pool faster, the hiccups taking over again as you try to speak. “I’m n—not, I’m really not—”

“Yes, you are,” Seungkwan says firmly. “You are. Shh, it’s okay. Breathe for me, darling. I’ll do it with you. In…” He breathes in exaggeratedly, holding it for a few moments, and then breathing out. “And out. And again. In… and out.”

He breathes exaggeratedly slowly, puffing his chest and then deflating several times. It takes a while for you to join him, but eventually you do, and his hands are now on your jawline, fingers against your pulse, your hands around his wrists.

“There we go,” he says gently, smiling, as your breath syncs with his. “You’re doing so well, Y/N. My wonderful, wonderful Y/N.”

He breathes in deeply a few more times, until you’re no longer looking in danger of hyperventilating, and then he relaxes, simply holding you. The tears still fall, sticky and aching and staining your face with worry, but at least your breathing is steadier, even if it’s still a little shaky.

Seungkwan leans forward until his forehead touches yours. “I’m here,” he says, softly, in the same way he’s been saying it constantly ever since you opened the door. “I’m here for you.”

“Kwan,” you whisper, small and trembling, “I’m going to fail, I’m really going to fail—”

“Nonsense,” he says instantly, before you can work yourself up into another meltdown. “You won’t. I promise you, you really won’t. Look how hard you’ve been working, my love. You won’t fail.”

Your fingers tighten over his wrist, just a little, and you fall into him, burying your face into his chest, and he wraps his arms around you, natural. Protective.

“You don’t know that.”

“But I know you,” Seungkwan returns. “I know my hardworking, intelligent Y/N. You try your best, at anything at all, and even if you might not let yourself rest sometimes, it’s because you’re working so hard to be the best you can be. At the end of the day, your best is all you’re able to do, and that’s completely fine.”

You don’t say anything for a moment, still buried into his shirt. “You sound like Minghao.”

That makes him chuckle a little, wrapping his arms tighter around you. “Well, sometimes Minghao has a point. Even if he sometimes spouts gibberish, there are occasions where he says words of gold.”

“Like that time he told you to meditate because you might have ‘anger issues’?”

“The point is,” Seungkwan says, ignoring you, and it makes you snuffle a small laugh into his chest. “The point is, you’re doing well. You might not feel like it, but you are. I know hard work when I see it, and you’ve gone above and beyond.”

You just hum in response, and he can tell that you don’t believe him.

He smooths your hair back, tucking some stray hairs behind your ear. “Maybe you don’t believe me, but it’s true. You’re my wonderful Y/N, and I’m going to cherish you in all the ways you deserve, and you deserve to know how wonderful you really are.”

You whine a little, embarrassed and pleased, and he chuckles. “Stop, you’re making me shy.”

“I’m always going to be here for you,” Seungkwan says after a moment. “Always. So there’s no need to push yourself until you’re falling over the edge, okay? I can bring you away from the cliff safely, with no one being pushed.”

Seungkwan doesn’t know where the weird metaphor comes from, and he expects you to laugh and comment on it. Instead, you just hum again, nuzzling further into him, and your next words are a little muffled, but he hears you all the same.

“I love you.”

“I love you,” Seungkwan returns, instantly, because he does, and you should know that. He hopes you know just how much he really, truly loves you.

There’s silence then, save for the sound of the birds twittering in the distance and the AC running practically everywhere in the house, but with you in his arms the rest of the world has ceased to exist, narrowing down to just you.

You lift your head after a moment, and he smiles down at you, devastatingly soft, gently dabbing some of the drying tears away from the corners of your eyes.

“You know you’ll always be able to find comfort here, right?” Seungkwan checks, speaking into the silence, and you tilt your head confusedly. Your eyes are still red, still tired, but there’s light in them now, light that was lit by his love for you.

“Where?”

He presses a kiss to the top of your forehead, drawing a little heart on your cheek with his fingertip. “Right here. In my arms.”

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lunaraindrop · 10 months

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One word/One sentence prompt thing; "Steve's Eddie the Bat plush"...does that count? Just Steve having a bat plush that reminds him of Eddie 🖤🦇🖤🦇

I have to tell you, this little bat plushie made my plot bunny go rabid! This is insanely long! I hope you enjoy it!

---

Steve stared down the candy apple in annoyance. They looked okay at the vendor's table, but Steve was pretty sure Granny Smiths didn't have an onion aftertaste. What he wouldn't give to be back home and have one of Mrs. Byers candy apples.

At that moment, he should have been eating pizza and a ton of good candy at the scary movie marathon at the Munson's new place. He should be passing around the Tupperware of his peanut butter chocolate chip cookies to his friends. Instead, he was hours away, three states over, eating a mediocre candy apple and hanging out at some Fall Carnival with a girl named Kaitlyn.

Don't mistake this. Steve Harrington was not on a date.

He had not been on a date with a chic in many months. Say...before Spring Break? The ready excuse was all the trauma everyone experienced. Another was all of the doctors visits, recovery, and endless volunteer hours. Who had time to date when Max needed to get to physical therapy and FEMA sent in another case of canned goods for the food bank? When did he have time to flirt with the ladies if he was constantly surrounded by kids? When would he have time to hang out with his adult friends?

Plus, as Steve had come to realize (after many, many car conversations with Robin), he was kinda done with meaningless relationships. Steve wanted the real deal. He wanted to settle down. Steve didn't want a hookup. He wanted a lifetime of love.

Yes, these were all very good excuses. Ones that even Robin believed when he would turn a cute girl down.

But the truth was that Steve *was* ready to date.

Had been for months now.

Maybe, kinda already was?!?

He just didn't know if the person he wanted to be with felt the same way.

You see, Steve came to the realization that he madly was in love with Eddie Munson.

In his defense, he didn’t know what he was feeling right away.

Steve and Eddie shared a hospital room when they got back from the Upside Down. While Eddie had been in worse shape, both of them had been bitten by the bats. They had to be quarantined together for 96 hours before Steve was cleared to go. And go he did....to take a shower and change his clothes. He was right back after that, visiting Eddie and Max.

It turned out that Dustin had been onto something (the ego boost for that, Jesus Christ), trying to get them to hang out. Contrary to outward appearances, Steve and Eddie had a lot in common. When you get past all of the high school bullshit, it was obvious that they could have been great friends before all this. So, they made up for lost time.

When he and Eddie became friends, like actual friends, and not just linked by the kids and trauma, Steve thought that what he was feeling was the joy and connection of having a best friend. Someone he could unapologetically be a dude with. He loved Robin to bits, but there was something special about bonding over fart jokes and impromptu wrestling matches in a living room. While he and Tommy H had been close, they were never *this* close. It was similar to how he and Robin cemented into their friendship, but just...more, if that were even possible.

He actually felt *guilty* for a while because he felt like he was best friend-cheating on Robin. It broke his heart to think that she would ever feel like second best or that she wasn't as important in his life, because she was! He wanted to spend time with her. She was still his best friend, his twin. Robin was like an extension of his own body.

But, with Eddie...it was just *different*. There was this need, the constant craving to be as close to him as humanly possible. An ache that was only soothed by having him by his side.

And it wasn’t just him, either. If Steve was a clingy friend, then Eddie was a fucking koala. Where one would go, so would the other, much to the amusement and annoyance of the other people in their lives. Their whole ragtag group liked to spend time with each other. Of course they would both be there too. And, sure, it was expected to see Steve taking Eddie to his physical therapy appointments. Wayne usually had to work. It wasn't a weird jump that Eddie and Steve would be at Max's together either.

But...Steve got some strange looks at the Corroded Coffin practices for a while. Eddie definitely got strange looks helping Steve sort out clothes and canned goods at the food bank. Steve let Eddie host D&D at his house, and Eddie let Steve put a basketball hoop over the Munson's new driveway.

When they did have to part, Eddie would get all dramatic about missing him, and while Steve rolled his eyes at his antics, he couldn’t help the bashful grin on his face. Eddie missed him. Eddie counted the time, loudly, to anyone who would listen, how long they were apart. (And he was pretty sure he was always right, because Steve counted too. He wasn't the best at math, but it was always close or the same to what Steve counted. He would even tell Eddie, which always pull a curl over his face.)

When Mike said that normal friends don't pine like some war widow when their friend went to the grocery store, Steve...started to figure out that they maybe weren't best friends. Best friends don't have to force themselves to part ways at night and sleep in their own beds, alone, only to sleep and nap on a couch together the next day. Normally, best friends don't find excuses to touch and hold onto each other and hold hands in the car. Best friends do give each other nicknames, but usually not "Sweetheart" or "Baby Love".

Best friends don't want to kiss their friends.

So when Robin had absolutely enough of not having Steve time and dragged him off to defend her best friend title, it was Steve that said, "Robbie... I'm freaking out. I'm not sure if he and I are Platonic with a capital P. Something's going on...and I'm kinda in love with him. "

Robin, wide-eyed, said "Oh. Oh! That's completely different!" and demanded to know every detail of what she had missed.

So, why was Steve hours away, three states over, at some Fall Carnival with a girl named Kaitlyn?

Easy.

His parents called.

As grown up as Steve was, there was still a part of him that was the eager boy, wanting to get their approval and attention.

They had been back to Hawkins only once since the "earthquake", and it wasn’t even for him. It was to get an estimate on the property damage. (They had been there two days and eleven hours. Eddie barreled down the driveway and nearly crushed his ribs when they left town. And Steve could have sworn Eddie laid a barely there kiss to the top of his head. They later watched Murder, She Wrote and cuddled on the couch. It was the most content he had been in a long time.)

On the day that Steve decided he was going to talk to Eddie and figure out what they were doing, his parents called and invited him to their business trip. They had a round trip ticket. They said they would love to see him.

He was so torn. He didn't want to leave the kids, or Robin, or especially Eddie...but they were his parents.

It was Hopper, of all people, that told him to take the break and see his folks. "You have been running yourself ragged, Steve. The kids will keep Munson busy. Go eat some fancy shrimp cocktail and remind the Harringtons that they have a son."

The airport was...hard. He honestly wanted to stuff Robin and Eddie in his carry-on, and maybe Dustin in the overhead bin. There were fucking tears, and laughter at the fucking tears. But Steve did get on the plane.

The first day there nice. Fall in Pennsylvania is really pretty. The hotel was five star. He went to the hotel's spa with his mom. She took him to lunch and dinner.

He didn't see his dad until the next day's brunch.

And that's when he was told that he would be spending time with Kaitlyn Caissiere, the young daughter of his new business partner.

At first, Steve was terrified that his parents were trying to set him up with this girl, and then horrified at the idea that maybe he was actually being pimped out to "entertain" her.

But, the real truth, while a relief, was annoying.

"Always the God damn babysitter." He grumbled.

That's right. Steve was there to babysit the most annoying preteen he had ever met. And he knew Mike Wheeler as a preteen.

Kaitlyn was a spoiled brat.

A spoiled brat with a ton of money and an itinerary.

The worst kind.

"By 8:00pm you must win me a stuffed animal. If you don't, I will tell Daddy that he should not do business with your dad."

"Yeah, yeah kid. I got it. Get you a stuffed animal."

He had been following her schedule for the past couple of days. Thankfully, he would be flying out the next day. He just needed to keep tabs on the she-devil, and "cater to her every whim" as his dad had said.

Walking towards the games, they passed by a fortune tellers tent.

Kaitlyn stepped on his heel. "Ow! What the hell?"

"I wanna stop here! I want my fortune read!"

"But this isn't on your list-"

"Let’s go now!"

Steve looked at the sign. Fortunes cost $5.00. A little steep, but it wasn't his money. Along with Kaitlyn watching came a wab of cash that was more than four of his paychecks from Family Video.

Kaitlyn insisted Steve stand outside of the tent while getting her fortune told. As she went into the tent, another came out. There were actually two people working the tent, but this older lady stepped out for a smoke break. When she realized she didn't have a lighter, Steve pulled out his own and offered it to her.

Taking a drag from her cigarette, she turned her head and smiled at him. "I like you. You remind me of my grandson."

Steve thanked her before pitching the candy apple into the garbage can like a three pointer.

The lady looked him over. "Sonny, since you are a kind young man and dealing with that child, I'm going to give you a free fortune."

"Oh really, ma'am. That's not necessarily."

"Oh hush! Now, watch the smoke."

Steve felt silly watching this stranger's cigarette smoke. He didn't exactly believe in fortune telling. But then again, he has seen crazier things.

Steve watched as the smoke took a form. He looked closer. "What the fu-"

The smoke took shape as a perfect arrow, pointing left.

"The answers you seek will be found over there. You will know what to do."

Well, what the hell did that mean?

He soon found out.

When Kaitlyn was done berating the fortune teller for getting her future wrong, Steve steered her toward the games. Which ironically was also where the arrow pointed.

Kaitlyn decided that Steve would win her a unicorn from a milk bottle toss. It took him seven tries on the rigged game before he finally won the damn thing.

"That was actually kind of pathetic, you know? Good thing you don't have a girlfriend to get a prize for. We would be here all night!"

Steve knew a challenge, and couldn't let that stand.

"That is because you picked a game that isn't in my skill set."

He looked around and saw a basketball throwing game in the distance with what looked like Halloween plushies.

"There! That's my game. I bet I can win a prize in one shot."

Kaitlyn drew up her nose. "I don't want any of those prizes. Yuck."

"Then it's for me."

She checked her paper. "I will allow one plushie for you. Any more and I will tell my daddy you stole them from me."

Steve was too busy at first looking at the distance of the rim to see what all the prizes were. But he stopped in his tracks when he did.

This was a game he could win easy. And there, on the top row, were a line of black and purple plushie bats with "Ozzy" stitched in lurid orange on the belly.

That...was definitely a sign. He also needed to have one of those bats, and pronto!

The man running the booth gave him a smile. "You a fan of Black Sabbath?"

Steve smacked the bills down with a grin. "Sir, I am tonight."

And just like he thought he would, Steve won the bat easily.

The man handed it to him. "Ha! Good aim! This little guy was meant for you"

As the man gave him the cute plushie bat, Steve knew he had his answer.

Thank you, fortune teller lady.

---

Eddie was waiting at the airport for him. The kids wanted to be there, but they were not allowed to skip school. Robin also wanted to be there, but work wouldn't budge. A "Welcome Home" party in Steve's honor would be had later that evening.

Man, Steve loved his friends.

Eddie held up an obnoxious cardboard sign with his name written in red craft glitter glue. A sign that Steve threw down to hug the bastard as tightly as he could.

"Welcome home, Big Boy! Your chariot awaits!"

On the drive back to Hawkins, Steve told Eddie about his trip. Eddie liked that he got to get the "Pampering he deserves" at the spa, and fumed loudly at his parents having him go out of town just to play babysitter.

"They had to take you away from your home, your *family*, from everything you've ever known-"

"-to toss you a ward?! Your parents are a real hobnobbing dick-weasles."

"Bit dramatic there, Eds-"

"-for 76 hours and 34 minutes-"

"-Wait, where did you get that extra hour?-"

Steve laughed so hard he cried at "dick-weasels."

When they passed the Welcome to Hawkins sign, Steve asked Eddie to drive them to the rock quarry. It was one of the few places they would escape to just drink beer, listen to some tunes, and just...be together.

When they parked, they sat in silence for a minute, before Steve grabbed his carry-on from the back.

"Whatcha got there, Stevie?"

"Its actually something I wanted to show you."

Eddie rubbed his hands together in excitement. "Ooo...what wares do you bring me, traveler?"

Steve shook his head in exasperated fondness. "You're so weird."

Pausing for a second, he brought out the plushie bat. Eddie gasped and snatched it out of his hands.

"Steve! This is the cutest fucking bat I have ever seen. And it's name is Ozzy! Whoever made this has taste!"

"Yeah, it's a carnival toy. I won that."

Eddie smiled at him briefly before his large brown eyes went back to his soft new friend. "Of course you did. Steve Harrington: Slayer of Demon Bats and Cheap Carnival Games!"

Steve laughed, but felt nervous inside. This was it. Make or break.

"Yeah. I just had to get him. He reminded me of my boyfriend back home. I really missed him, but Ozzy here helped."

Eddie froze. He looked back up at Steve again, eyes wide as saucers.

"B-boyfriend? He reminds you of your boyfriend?"

Steve licked his lips, gaining some confidence that Eddie's eyes tracked the motion.

"Yeah, boyfriend. Soul mate. Idiot I love and co-parent seven kids with."

Eddie hands were shaking. He carefully placed Ozzy in Steve's lap before cupping his face.

"Sweetheart. Oh, my love, your boyfriend missed you too!"

Eddie surged forward and finally, finally kissed Steve. It was like coming home. Steve let out a happy whine, and leaned forward into the kiss. Fingers slipped into hair. Worshipping kisses were laid upon cheeks and foreheads. Hickeys were nibbled and lovingly sucked into necks and collarbone.

---

Later, at Steve's Welcome Home party, they showed up together, hands entwined. Steve had Eddie's mood ring on his left ring finger. Still, nobody knew they were officially a couple until they saw the hickeys.

That night, the boys went to bed together, content that they no longer had to hide the extent of their feelings for each other. Taking a break from making out on the bed, Eddie placed Ozzy on the chair and turned him to face the wall. He didn't need to see what his dads were about to do.

#steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie #luna is a writer #answered

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