#ryan is definitely older than johnny | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

stratossphere · 2 years

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the bonfire. | j.k

the tension between you and knoxville builds. a lot. set in mid-2003.

word count: 5.6k

warnings: a lot of drinking and smoking (reader is described as a stoner), mentions of age gap, smut, oral (fem. receiving), fingering, p in v sex, unprotected sex, slight breeding kink, knoxville’s dirty mouth in general

"I'm telling you, I don't want to fuck him." You said, an amused expression on your face as you passed the spliff you were smoking over to Bam. You had been on this topic for almost an hour now on and off, and for some reason you just couldn't seem convincing.

"Dude, we all know you do. Just get it over with and tell us if it was good or not." He scoffed, taking a second to suck in a hit before he continued. "The dude has a huge hard-on for you anyway, so might as well shoot your shot."

"I know he has a huge hard-on for me. I'm just...too lazy to deal with that." You groaned as you sunk down in your camp chair. You’d all been sitting at a bonfire outside of someone's friend's house for over two hours now, and you were getting kind of bored. Bam and Ryan had flown in from Pennsylvania the day before, so you were trying to get as much time as possible in with them before they had to leave again, but sometimes they made it hard.

"You're just scared you can't pull him." Bam scoffed, handing the joint back and then dramatically turning in his chair to glance over to where Johnny was. "Although, he's pretty old compared to us."

"I could absolutely pull him. All I'd have to do is bend over in front of him and he'd be barking like a dog." You scoffed, elbowing him not-so-gently. "And who cares if he's older? He acts like he's fucking five."

"So you do want to fuck him." Bam called you out like it wasn't already obvious. "Dude, I'm serious. Go pull your little bend over routine and get out of here. It's physically hurting me to watch you guys anymore."

"Watch us? We barely even talk!" You protested, downing the last of your can of beer before turning back to Bam. "He's not that hard to pull. Remember when that girl kissed his neck and he was blushing like a girl and had to put a pillow in his lap? Easy money."

"Yo! Dunn! C'mere!" Great. Now Bam was bringing another person into this. And, of course, Ryan looked more than happy to drop down in the camp chair across from you. Bam smacked your arm. "We're debating whether or not Y/n’s got enough game to fuck Knoxville."

"Dude, totally. He's like, rock hard for you already." Ryan scoffed, cracking open another beer as he spoke. "You got the guts, though?"

"You know what? You two are assholes." You scoffed, crushing your beer can and tossing it at Ryan's feet. "Watch this shit."

You turned in your chair, looking around and trying to find Johnny again. He'd disappeared from his position next to the ping pong table that Ehren and Steve-O were destroying, and it took you a second to locate him crouched down in front of one of the beer coolers. Perfect.

"Knoxville!" You shouted loudly enough to draw his attention, watching his head crane back in your direction with his sunglasses still sat perfectly on top of his head. It had gotten too dark for him to be able to see properly with them on, so he'd ditched them about half an hour ago. "Can you grab me one?"

"What kind you want?" He shouted back, holding up both Budweiser and PBR. Steve-O had definitely been in charge of beer supply, because all there seemed to be was pisswater for choices. You motioned to his left hand that held the Budweiser, and watched him chuck the other can back into the cooler before kicking it back shut.

"If you two say anything, I'm gonna tell Tremaine to have you shot with paintballs for weeks." You warned quickly as Johnny started his way over, jabbing a finger at each of them individually. You were really praying they didn't mess up your game, because Johnny was going to make it into a huge thing if they did.

"Who? We're not even here." Ryan said dramatically, pretending to zip his lips and throw the key in the fire seconds before Johnny was behind your chair holding the beer over your shoulder.

"You three sharing secrets and braiding each other's hair over here?" He cajoled as he pressed the cold can into your neck, making you wince as he came around the side of your chair and plopped into the empty one that was to your right. "I feel left out."

"Thanks, J." The little nickname lingered on your lips as you took the can from his offering hand, your fingers brushing his as you did so. You watched his eyes stick to yours momentarily, and you could tell that what you were doing was so easily working. Like picking up sticks.

"Fuck off, Knoxville. You don't have enough hair to braid." Bam scoffed, extending his foot across you to kick his friend in the leg. You pushed him away, shooting him a look to kill as you leaned back in your chair slightly.

"We're smoking, if you want some." You offered, motioning to the new joint that Ryan was rolling as we spoke. Johnny shook his head, cracking his beer tab and letting out a gentle sigh.

"On a break right now. I'm sticking to...other things." He said vaguely, putting his feet up on the same empty chair that you currently had yours on. Oh yeah. Easy money.

"Ooh. Other things. My favorite." Bam snorted, as if this conversation was hilarious to him. You shot him another dirty look, and he seemed to take the hint, standing up and wiping his hands off on the legs of his black jeans. "Well, I'm gonna go do something more fucking interesting. Dunn, care to join?"

"Sure, man. I've been hanging out with Y/n way too fucking long, anyway." Ryan scoffed, getting up with the joint still in his hand. You glared at him and held your hand out.

"Leave the weed, fuckhead." You ordered, watching him sigh before dropping the perfectly-rolled joint in the palm of your hand. You then watched them walk away to where they could still watch both of you before turning your attention back to Johnny. "Well? What does 'other things' entail?"

"Nothing heavier than cigs and beer. The way god intended." He sighed, reaching down to grab your lighter off the ground and then handing it over to you.

"What're you taking a break for?" He was kind of making you feel guilty for smoking in front of him, but he was the one that had chosen to drop down right next to the world's biggest stoner.

"Recovery. I feel like I haven't slept for days." He sighed, letting out a slight chuckle as he reached into his back pocket to retrieve a pack of cigarettes. "So. After this, you think you'll be willing to do more stunts?" Huh. Maybe not easy money.

"You want me to do stunts? For what?" You were genuinely surprised. Sure, you'd let Steve-O convince you to do the whole skateboard-into-the-water thing, but that had only been because Bam got food poisoning and needed a stand in.

"Just in case we make another movie! Filming never stops, Y/n/n." He explained, his arm moving to rest on your armrest as he spoke. You frowned at the nickname, moving your arm to rest next to his as you looked out at the fire pit.

"Probably. I liked the money." You said thoughtfully, lighting up the joint and making a point to blow the smoke to your left instead of your right so that it wasn't directly in his face. "I thought you said you were banning women from stunts."

"I did. You're different." He said simply, and you watched him attempt and fail to hide the fact that he was looking directly at your tits in your low-cut tank top. You raised an eyebrow at him in question at calling you 'different'. He quickly spluttered at the look on your face. "Because you're—you're badass. You're different."

"I'm taking that as a compliment." While you talked, you had been slowly inching your feet closer to his, and your shoes were now touching. If he noticed, he didn't say anything about it. "So? What would the next stunt be?"

"Well, we were playing with the idea of...naked barrel racing...across a tarp of lube." It was clear by his face that he was proud of his idea, but you could also tell that he was embarrassed to have to tell you what it was. It actually made you laugh out loud at the ridiculousness of that plan.

"You just want to see me naked." You accused, narrowing your eyes at him. He chuckled, looking unbothered by your accusation before taking another drag from his cigarette.

"What makes you think that? All the guys would be naked, same as you." He said, raising one eyebrow quizzically. You shrugged, a coy smile dragging onto your face.

"Hey. I don't know what you're into. Could be both." You said, hitting your joint as you studied his face. For someone who currently had your foot brushing purposely against his leg, he looked pretty at ease.

"Oh, not me. I'm a tits man, myself." He chuckled, his eyes moving back down to where you were now definitely moving your foot up his leg before looking back to you. "I'm just playing, doll. I'm planning on shooting them with paintball guns once they get out there, so you can't do the stunt."

With those words, a leg dropped down on yours, and you looked down towards your feet to see that he'd trapped the leg moving against his with his own.

"But, I'm sure I can get what I want in a different setting." He concluded, eyes flitting back up to yours. His fingers had now inched over your hand where his arm was next to yours on the arm rest, and you could feel the bandaid that was around his ring finger from picking up a broken bottle on set a couple of days prior.

"Oh yeah? And what exactly is that?" You were so thankful that it took a lot of weed to get you high, because you were afraid that you didn't sound as put-together as you thought you did. He seemed completely sober, and you could help but feel nervous about his hand on yours.

"Come on. I thought that was obvious." He drawled with a wide grin, leaning in close to your ear so that his breath tickled your skin. "I wanna see you bent over and spread in every pretty position I can think of."

"Whew. You pick up fast. I was afraid I was gonna have to get drunk and show you my tits." You laughed, turning slightly in your seat and setting your joint on top of your beer can so that your hands were free.

"Offer's still on the table." He teased, winking at you as he slowly brought your hand up before pressing a kiss to your knuckles.

"Well, how's this?" You then leaned in to kiss him, and were satisfied to see that he met you halfway there, your hand immediately pulling out of his to cup his cheek instead. Kissing Johnny Knoxville. Cross that off the old bucket list.

When you broke away, you were out of breath, and you could feel the way your heartbeat was going a million miles a minute as he leaned away to take another drag of his cigarette without a care in the world.

"You know, I hate it when you call me Knoxville. Sounds better when you're saying my real name." He said, brown eyes on yours as he spoke. The party was loud, and everyone was drunk and shouting at each other, but he spoke so calmly and quietly you almost didn't hear him.

"PJ Clapp. That's so much sexier." You said with a grin, waiting until he wasn't 100% paying attention to lean over your chair and mouth you owe me money to Bam and Ryan, who had just watched that entire exchange. He chuckled.

"Yeah, that's why I don't use it." He sighed, looking up at you once again after he had ashed his cigarette onto the grass between his feet. "You know, I'm a little old for you. I have gray hairs."

"They should call you Silver Foxville." You said dryly, rolling your eyes as you glanced to the limited space between your lips. You’d kissed him once, and now you really wanted it again. And again. "Your dick still works, doesn't it?"

"Thank you for proving that I'm not just a pretty face." He poked fun at your attention to that one certain thing, and he just proved his point with his wide grin. You shrugged, pushing your boldness to the highest level you could stand.

"Pretty face means nothing if you don't have a pretty dick." You said coyly, leaning away from him again to take another hit off of your joint and blow it away from him. You felt a surge of satisfaction as you saw the shaken look on his face. Considering the people he was friends with, you’d assumed he'd heard worse.

"Shit. You're making me fuckin' harder than Portland cement." He muttered, tilting your chin fully towards himself just as you were exhaling another cloud of smoke and pressing his lips to yours as you basically transferred your smoke right into his lungs. "Wanna feel?"

When you gave your hum of approval, you felt his hand on your wrist, and then he was pressing your palm into the bulge of his Dickies, a low groan escaping his lips as your fingers cupped his hard cock through his pants. You were thanking god that your chairs were facing away from everyone else in the group, because you were not a fan of the idea of pictures of what you and Johnny were doing at the moment.

"Fuck. Let's go somewhere else." You mumbled against his mouth, slowly pulling your hand away from him as your eyes darted towards the house that barely anyone else was in. You knew he would've been perfectly fine with you feeling him up to completion right there in the yard, but you were really trying to preserve your dignity, high or not.

"Come on. I know the house." He breathed, breaking away from you and dropping his cigarette under the toe of his close-to-destroyed converse before his eyes zeroed in on the spliff still between your fingers. There wasn't much left, but still enough to where you felt guilty about abandoning it. "And let me see that."

You handed it over hesitantly, half worried that he was going to give the joint the same treatment as his cigarette, but then let out a sigh of relief when he took a hit that had his eyes watering and smoke pouring out of his nose as he coughed. Wow. He really hadn’t been lying about taking a break.

Once he was satisfied with his hit, he handed it back over to you before taking your hand and beginning the walk through the sliding back door and into the house. You prayed for your tomorrow self's sake that no one was paying attention to you both, hoping that somehow the only two people going inside instead of coming out were going magically unnoticed.

"I should really be taking you back to my house. I feel bad." Johnny said as he closed the door behind you, his hand tightening in yours as he dodged expertly around the table and chairs that were moved messily all around the room. You scoffed.

"I don't give a fuck. We could be in a club bathroom for all I care." You said honestly, taking one last hit of your joint before setting the butt down on the kitchen counter as you passed by. His strides were much longer than yours, and you were hurrying to keep pace with him.

"Just how I like it." Just as he spoke, he gently nudged you into an open door, revealing a small bedroom which was quickly determined to be Star Wars themed. You frowned at him, to which he waved it off. "Scott's an eccentric decorator. He's got all themed bedrooms."

"Glad you picked the good one." You muttered as you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling his sunglasses from the top of his head and discarding them on the opposite edge of the bed. His fingers immediately danced over the bottom hem of your decently-short shorts (which you’d actually repeatedly caught him staring at throughout the day of both shooting and partying), pulling them up further over your ass before his hands were kneading your exposed skin.

"Take 'em off." He spoke into your mouth, his hands moving back upwards until his fingers laced their way into your hair so that he could hold you tighter against his kiss. You did as he requested easier than you were willing to admit, yanking them down your hips to reveal your black and white cotton thong. Kind of cheesy, but you didn't miss the way his eyes lit up when he noticed it.

There was a moment where he just studied you, and just as you was going to move in and try to shield yourself from his sharp gaze, his hand was on your lower back and he was gingerly knocking you back onto the bed. He was on you seconds after your head hit the galaxy-print pillows, his hands roughly rucking your legs up over his hips as his lips pressed back onto yours.

You knew you were fucked. You could tell by both the way your whole body shook from just his hungry kisses and the fact that you were already missing his presence when he was still on top of you. But you didn't even care enough to think about it. All you could think about was the fact that he was pulling your tank top over your head, and then his hands were on your tits. He broke your kiss to look down at you, one hand using his thumb to brush over your sensitive nipple as the other held your jaw so that you couldn't look away from him.

"Listen to me, sweetheart." He said breathlessly, biting his bottom lip as he looked down at you in a way that you had never once seen from him in the past four years of knowing him. It was making every part of you that craved him throb even more. "I'm gonna eat your pussy, and you're gonna be a good girl and let me, understand?"

That almost killed you right then and there. You had been pretty sure you were going to be screwed before, but now you were positive. Your legs were tightening around his hips with every word, and you could barely get yourself under control enough to give him a nod. He smiled in satisfaction, then gave you one last kiss before he was pulling out of your grasp, lips leaving a trail of soft kisses down your arm as he slid himself down further towards the edge of the bed.

"So fuckin' hot. Smell so fuckin' delicious." He said as he moved, his fingers nimbly dragging the waistband of your underwear right down your legs as he went along. It was ridiculously smooth, and it made you even wetter for him as you waited less-than-patiently for him to get his mouth on you.

"Please, PJ." You whimpered, legs jello in his hold as he trailed his tongue up your inner thigh. You weren’t someone who usually allowed yourself to be teased, but something about the way he was touching you had you so transfixed that you couldn't even be bothered to complain. He chuckled.

"Oh, I like it when you whine for me. Say my name one more time and I'll let you have what you want." He crooned, sinking his teeth gently into your sensitive skin. You arched your hips up in the direction of his mouth, eager to get some form of release in any way you could manage.

"PJ. Need you so bad." You whined again, lip drawn harshly between your teeth as you watched him with desperate eyes. There was a glint in his gaze that made your heart pound, and you practically saw stars when his lips finally moved to where you needed him, his tongue laving around your clit and down over your entrance in one smooth motion. "Holy shit."

"Shh. Be a good girl for me and keep your mouth shut." He muttered, only taking that split second to remove his mouth before it was back at full force, his lips sucking adamantly at your clit as his tongue weaved intricate symbols that had you rolling your hips against his mouth. Despite his telling you to shut up, you couldn't stifle the moans that welled their way into your throat, your voice high-pitched and strung-out on pleasure.

He brushed his tongue across your clit over and over again, occasionally licking down to push his tongue into your entrance, his fingers replacing his tongue on your clit each time he did so. It felt so good that you felt like you couldn’t see what was in front of you, your senses blinded and heavy with pleasure as he ate you out like no man had ever done before.

"You like everyone hearing how good I'm making you feel? 'S that why you can't control yourself?" He cooed as he removed his lips from my clit, a single finger pushing into you as a replacement as he gazed up at you with sly lust. You let out a disappointed gasp at the change in sensation, your clit aching in his absence. When he saw your face, a second finger followed his first, leaving his index and middle fingers curled inside you fully. "Who knew Y/n Y/l/n was such a pretty little slut."

"Please. Need more." Your voice was airy and distraught, fingers laced in the comforter on either side of you as you urged him to finish what he had originally started. You felt so close, yet so far.

"Don't you worry your pretty little head. You’re gonna get what you want." He promised, curling his fingers forward and pushing them upwards in a slow but precise movement that had your hips involuntarily jerking forward and the air rushing from your lungs. Jesus, he really was good.

He started to push his fingers against that sweet little spot inside of you slowly, his cheek pressed against your inner thigh as he watched his digits disappear into you over and over again. And then, just as you were beginning to think that it wasn't going to be enough, his dipped his mouth back to your pussy, his tongue pressing back against your clit as his fingers worked in and out of you.

Your eyes slammed shut as your head pushed back against the pillow, your chest heaving as you took in the obscene slurping sounds he was making with his tongue mixed with the wet sounds caused by his fingers. He shouldered your legs even further apart, a mischievous glint in his eyes as he stared up at you the entire time.

Your climax was approaching almost embarrassingly fast. Your late night fantasies of Johnny Knoxville's head between your legs was even hotter than you had imagined many times before, and the sight of him grinding his hips down into the bed with every swirl of his tongue was making your entire body thrum with heat.

"I can feel you squeezin' my fingers, dollface. Let me feel you cum on my tongue." Johnny encouraged as he continued to push his fingers into you, his free hand pushing on your hip to keep you from pushing up into his mouth as aggressively as you wanted to. Your moans and gasps were now way beyond your control, and your voice only got louder as your back arched up, your climax hitting you hard enough to make you see stars as your eyes fell back open.

You had half a mind to clap your hand over your mouth as you panted and whined through your orgasm, your free hand taking a handful of his dark brown hair and pulling as you came. He didn't stop his tongue and fingers until your voice gave out and you were forcibly gasping for air, your grip in his hair going lax as you came back down to earth.

"Holy fuck." You breathed, wincing when he pulled his fingers out of you and accepting him with open arms as he moved back up to look at you with gleeful eyes and a spit-soaked chin. You reached out and used the collar of his shirt to pull up and wipe his mouth off, only to have him immediately suck his equally-wet fingers into his mouth once you had dropped the fabric back down to his throat.

"Damn. Can't get you to shut your mouth no matter if you're gettin' finger-fucked or not." He said cockily as he pulled his fingers from his mouth and wiped them off on his shirt. When you gave him a dirty look, he leaned his head to the side to suck gently at your neck, the rumble of his baritone laugh tickling your skin. "Although, haven't fucked you yet. We'll see."

"I can't cum again so fast." You said in surprise as he began to undo the buckle of his KNOXVILLE belt, a hand moving to his chest as you looked up at him with wide eyes. Your legs were still shaking, and if you had been loud before, it was only going to get worse if he fucked you while you were so sensitive. He kissed you gently, his eyes locked on yours.

"You can take it. Look, you've already got your legs spread nice and wide for me." He reassured, his hand gripping your thigh as he ripped his belt from his belt loops. You weren’t quite reassured, but you fumbled to get the zipper of his pants down regardless, his lips on yours encouraging you to let him do whatever the hell he wanted with you.

Once he had completely gotten his pants undone with your help, he stood up to quickly shuffle them off along with his boxers, leaving him bare from the waist down in front of you. Your mouth practically watered at the sight of his cock, hard and leaking against the hem of his t-shirt. You barely gave him any time to stand there, pulling him back in with your fingers around his wrist before he was kneeling in front of your spread legs with his mouth half-open.

"You got a condom somewhere?" He asked suddenly, eyes unable to pull away from between your legs as he spoke to you. You mentally slapped myself, because of course you didn't have one, and since he was asking, he obviously didn't either. Unsafe sex was called unsafe sex for a reason.

However, you were too impatient to think rationally.

"No. You can just pull out." You said impatiently, watching as he gently pulled your legs back over his thighs. His gaze was so searing and yet his hands were more than careful with you, his touch so light it almost felt as if you were moving on your own.

"I like the way you think." He teased, pumping himself a few times as his eyes finally dragged their way back up to yours. "Be as loud as you want, gorgeous. I don't give a fuck."

You nodded as if you even had a choice, holding your breath as you felt the tip of his cock swipe through your pussy before he was slowly pushing himself into you. If there were any lingering thoughts in your head of anyone else you had ever even considered having sex with in the past, each and every one was erased with the drag of his cock inside of you. You both let out heated gasps, his hand tightening on your leg just above your knee and your head falling back once again. You were still a little sensitive from your last orgasm, and every touch felt like electricity as he slowly pushed his way completely inside of you.

"Fuck, you feel so good." He groaned, his hips stilling momentarily as you tensed at his length. As his tip brushed against your cervix with just his entering thrust, you knew you were in for it. You had seen him naked more times than you had previously been a fan of whilst working for Jackass, and at the time you had assumed he was a shower, but holy fuck was he a grower. It made another shudder of pleasure race up your stomach. "So fucking tight."

He didn't seem to be able to stand much time waiting, and before you knew it, he was slowly rolling his hips into you, his cock hitting every still-sensitive nerve as he fucked into you. You watched in ecstasy as he pulled the hem of his shirt up his muscled torso, biting it between his teeth so that he had both hands free to pull you forward on his cock.

"Oh. Right there. Right there." You gasped, moaning languidly as he picked up the pace of his hips and fucked right against the spot that he'd had his fingers against not three minutes before. He groaned in agreement, his head falling back and pulling his shirt further up his chest as he put all his movement into his hips.

You were really hoping that rubbing against the mattress while he'd been eating you out had gotten him at least a little close to cumming, because your second orgasm was quickly edging its way through your nerves as he fucked you hard enough to make the bed creak painfully loud. If anyone walked in through the unlocked door by that point, it was going to be their own fault.

"You look so good, takin' my cock like such a pretty little slut." Johnny purred, holding your legs open hard enough to make your muscles ache as he slammed into you over and over again. The pleasure was so good and so intense that your eyes were watering, and you could feel tears starting to track down the side of my face as you gripped helplessly at the sheets in a failed attempt to ground yourself with something. "You'd look so good with my cum dripping out of you."

You tried to mouth not funny, but all you could do was moan, his filthy words making you teeter dangerously on the edge of cumming before you were ready. You weren’t on birth control, but you weren’t exactly a big fan of making good decisions anyway, so you decided that if you weren’t able to get the words out, that you really didn't need to say them.

"Fuck, you want me to fill you up?" He questioned, his voice muffled by his t-shirt still between his teeth and his words followed by a low groan. "Fill you up like the good little slut that you are?"

You whined in agreement, nodding your head as best you could as you arched your back up further with every slam of his cock against your cervix. It was a pleasured pain, one that you knew you’d be feeling for the next couple of days.

"I'm gonna cum, princess." He whined, seconds before his hips stuttered and you felt him cum inside of you, warmth painting your insides as you let out a porno-style moan and came right there on the spot with him. That had to be a good sign for the both of you, right? "So goddamn good."

Your second orgasm was even more blinding, and your vision went white as your back arched up painfully, your fingers helplessly pulling at the bed as you whimpered and gasped with every wave of pleasure that coursed through your body. His hands stayed on your hips the entire time until you were verbally begging him to stop thrusting his cock into you, the wet sound of him pushing his cum back inside reaching your ears as he slowly moved to a stop.

"You sounded so good, baby. Did so good." He babbled, immediately falling forward to press his lips sloppily to your throat as his hips moved lazily as he thrusted his last bit of energy out. Your head was spinning and your legs and pussy were already aching in the sweetest way possible as you wrapped your arm around his neck.

"God, you're fucking good at that." You breathed, letting out a strangled gasp when he finally pulled out of you. Whoever used the Star Wars comforter next was going to notice a suspicious looking stain right in the middle of it next time they got into bed.

"I can't believe it took us this long." He said, his breath coming out in pants as he steadied himself with one hand on the mattress next to your head. You realized with the increased quiet inside the room that you could hear multiple people talking and shouting at each other from outside of the door, and you mentally cringed because you knew that were was no way that you hadn't been overheard.

"Everyone's gonna know." You mumbled, carding your fingers through his hair as you finally felt your breathing beginning to calm again. You could feel his heartbeat against yours, and it still hadn't slowed down either. It made you feel a little bit better about yourself. He pressed a kiss to your temple, then your cheek, then your lips.

"Good. Then everyone will know that I'm the one who's giving it to you good, and I won't have any competition."

Oh yeah. You were done for.

#johnny knoxville #johnny knoxville x reader #johnny knoxville smut #jackass #jackass imagine #jackass mtv #jackass movie #bam margera #ryan dunn #sorry if this looks a little fucked tumblr mobile is hell

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agendabymooner · 8 months

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✦ 𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 !!! 𝐥𝐧𝟒 𝐬𝐦𝐚𝐮 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 ✦

summary: hannah-sue ‘honey’ lewis is so much like her sideman brother with the exception of the fact that she didn’t watch formula one as much as she used to back when she had her crush on mercedes driver michael schumacher in 2010.

lando norris never considered anything a miracle, but when he found out that his youtuber crush was somewhere in his party on the verge of passing out, he couldn’t help but label this unfortunate event as a work of an angel.

content warning: social anxiety, mentions of alcohol + nicotine consumption, use of explicit language, humour (possibly more mature), formula one x sidemen content (HEAVY ON FORMULA ONE THAN YOUTUBE UK), chatfic + social media post. more content warning to be added.

(SET ON 2022)

masterlist

note: lemme cook for a little 😮‍💨 i watch a lot of sidemen and the fact that they know a lot of f1 (and willne’s literally friends with lando) just gave me hopes on a crossover

⎯ 𝐂𝐀𝐒𝐓 (𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰)

●•●•● 𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐀𝐇-𝐒𝐔𝐄 𝐋𝐄𝐖𝐈𝐒 aka honey-sue: DISASTER SISTER. youtuber (50 million views in her crossbar challenge video against her brother — who had a 71 million views on his sidemen one) known for being the less problematic and funniest counterpart of wroetoshaw. had the fattest crush on michael schumacher back when he drove for mercedes now she has her eyes on his carbon copy (only for a short while). despite being funny and foul mouthed on her videos, she can’t help but dislike socializing and attending parties.

●•●•● 𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐒 ⁴: DISASTER SIMP. has had a crush on honey sue since she started doing some youtube videos in 2018 with the sidemen. he isn’t being nice to get closer — he just didn’t want her to be uncomfortable around him and his friends. he should’ve ended the party as soon as the disaster happened.

●•●•● 𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐃𝐒: DISASTER PROTECTIVE MEN. all of them have collaborated with honey-sue one way or another — but mostly under the main channel of sidemen.

●•●•● 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐈𝐌𝐏𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍

𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐋𝐄𝐖𝐈𝐒 aka wroetoshaw: only a year older than honey-sue. no, he loves him not in a guernsey way. stop making those jokes about them. he only means well.

𝐎𝐋𝐀𝐉𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐎𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐍𝐉𝐈 aka ksi: has made it a mission to buy honey-sue anything she wants after she confronted him about being called a sket in the wroetoshaw diss track. doesn’t even bother to fuck around and find out with her anymore.

●•●•● 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐁𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐅 𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐒 𝐎𝐅: british youtubers willne, theburntchip, calfreezy, beta squad, yung filly, quadrant (ria bish + max fewtrell), nella rose, harry pinero, johnny carey

●•●•● 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐔𝐋𝐀 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐃𝐑𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒: DISASTER GRID AND SEBASTIAN VETTEL (SOME HAVE DISASTER STRATEGIES). everyone are set on making the girl feel welcomed and comfortable as they found out that lando is set on winning her heart. alex albon definitely knows who she is as he found a storage box full of her merch once in lando’s bedroom. lando just hopes they don’t fuck things up for him.

⎯ 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 (𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐨)

every summertime ; niki

crush ; tessa violet

striptease ; carwash

late night talking ; harry styles

pretty lips ; winehouse

honey ; samia ft. maya hawke

you don’t have to be alone ; summerdrive

she way out ; the 1975

i’m in love with you ; the 1975

when i met you ; apo hiking society

loverboy ; a-wall

leaves ; ben&ben

bad texter ; ryan woods

last friday night (tgif) ; katy perry

why can’t we be friends ; the academic

hey barbara ; iv of spades

take a chance on me ; abba

she’s so high ; tal bachman

flight ; postcard boy

fall ; ben&ben

i broke my neck when i fell for you ; remy

sunkissed ; khai dreams

4ever ; lany

maybe the night ; ben&ben

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teecupangel · 1 year

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The way Numbskull feels like shay in regards of going "okay shit, the fraction I'm with ain't great and this conflicts with my moral code" in most headcannons has got to be my favorite thing, cause while yes Numbskull does agree to be a templar in cannon it feels like they do so very reluctantly in a act of self preservation.

Wanna make this all the more crazy? What if somehow Numbskull is a very distant relative or their friends with a direct descendant of the cormac bloodline who isn't involved with Abstergo

I mean… I can’t blame Numbskull for becoming a Templar considering Berg did this:

There was never really a choice for Numbskull and that’s the kind of bullshit that stays with a person. Numbskull never had a choice and it all started with Shay Cormac’s memories so I like to portray them as having complicated feelings for Shay. Their time in his memories made them ‘care’ for Shay but, at the same time, they also can’t help but blame Shay as the reason they’re stuck with the Templars right now.

So, given a chance, they’d definitely go ‘rogue’ because, hey, that’s what Shay did, right? And Shay should agree with their actions since they were fighting against an organization that would not listen to them, that would only use them to further their own agenda without any remorse on the collateral damage their actions would make.

If we really want to dig into Shay how joining the Templars would pan out centuries from his time, just make Numbskull say:

“I’m just following your footsteps, Mister Cormac.”

Also…

There is a way for Numbskull to be friends with a direct descendant of the Cormac Bloodline and we have two options.

Option 1: Javier Mondragón of the Assassin Brotherhood

He’s one of the main characters of Assassin's Creed: Last Descendants but he’s a teenager by the time of Rogue so he and Numbskull (who is most definitely around their 20s or more) wouldn’t necessarily be friends. What would be interesting is if Numbskull was one of the Abstergo employees who were ordered to retrieve the prongs of the Trident of Eden and their paths (and blades) crossed with Javier bleeding as Shay’s grandson, Cudgel. We can even have a reluctant bitter grandfather and a rebelling grandson thing going on with them.

Option 2: Alannah Ryan of the Assassin Brotherhood

It was implied in Odyssey that Alannah, one of Layla’s teammates, was Shay’s descendant:

So, in this scenario, Numbskull would be older than Alannah but their relationship would be more on an equal footing type of scenario. Numbskull might even feel protective of her as Shay’s bleed might be reminded of someone Shay cared about. If you want it to be romantic, it could be Shay’s wife. If you want it to be more like a case of found family, Alannah might remind them of Shay’s child (the eldest daughter perhaps?).

Either option could also work to give Numbskull the chance (and the courage) to finally defect as well if you want to go down that route.

Sidenote to the OC-centric AC idea I had:

Atoli was meant to serve as a red herring for Numbskull’s identity and the plot twist was that Numbskull left Abstergo but didn’t exactly join the Assassins. However, it was Atoli who helped them leave. In exchange, Numbskull helps Atoli in secret, taking the codename ‘Johnny’ and they know that they’re receiving each other’s call/message when they hear the sea shanty ‘Leave her, Johnny’.

#ask and answer #okay #so how are we going to tag this XD #i mean i guess i can tag #shay cormac #since we talk about him a lot #and he is integral to numbskull’s character #assassin's creed #numbskull assassin's creed #i guess i can add #alannah ryan #javier mondragon #since i did include atoli #oc #my oc story

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freddieslater · 2 years

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Ok this may sound a bit weird but…I imagined a TDG/Heartstopper AU! the pairing is Frank/Liam! (Aka the Charlie and Nick of this au) I was thinking that Danny should be Ben, Elektra and Faith could be Darcy and Tara (I sometimes ship Elektra and Faith) and I don’t about Tao and Elle but I would love to hear your opinion on this, Charlie X Nick forever!

So sorry for the delay in replying to this. I love this concept so much. Crossovers are like always my favourite thing to imagine, and you picked two of my favourite things so this is perfect! Heartstopper with Frank/Liam is BEAUTIFUL. Danny as Ben makes perfect sense, as do Elektra and Faith as Darcy and Tara. Since we're doing the older kids from like early TBR/early TDG, I think that Tao (if Frank is Charlie, then his protective bestie) could be Rick? Or Johnny, but I'm feeling Rick more, and if Rick is Tao, then I feel that Carmen could be Elle. I know she's a bit younger than them, but like, just pretend they're a bit closer in age (I mean, they ARE only about three years apart at most so it's really not that much of an issue).

Honestly, you've made me want to think of this for some of the others as well. I'm sure you won't mind me rambling a bit, so let's do this!

A Tyler/Ryan version, with them as Nick and Charlie respectively. Ben would be either Alex or Bailey in this situation because they're both a bit closeted, I'm leaning more towards Alex because he and Ryan had more of the tension between them (Bailey definitely had it with Tyler, though). Tara could be Jody because she would be Tyler's ex-girlfriend in this situation and would definitely be someone for Ryan to worry about in regards to Tyler still having feelings for her, and I'm thinking then that Darcy would probably be Sasha. I'm not totally sure about Tao and Elle, mainly because 1) I'm finding it hard to imagine any of the TDG characters saying the line "as your token straight friend" because not a single one of them are straight and 2) Ryan doesn't really have... friend outside of Tyler and Chloe, and while Chloe could be Tao... I suppose Elle could be Candi-Rose then, actually, couldn't she? They just wouldn't be doing the whole only boys/only girls school thing then.

I think a Jody/Carmen version, featuring them as Charlie and Nick respectively as well, would be interesting too. Gemma is Ben, of course. Sasha is Tao, Jody's witty and sarcastic bestie, who is a little bit in love with Charlie, our Elle in this situation. Now, I know that Tyler SHOULD be Tara because he is Jody's ex, but he has more of Darcy's personality I feel, so Bailey can be our Tara.

A Ben/Lol version, because I'm a sucker for rarepairs. Ben is Nick, Lol is Charlie. Michael would definitely be Ben just because he's kind of the worst, you know? Crash as Tao, aka Lol's straight bestie who is absolutely certain that Ben is Very Straight, and Tracy as Elle. I'm not sure who Tara and Darcy would be because Ben doesn't really have an ex-girlfriend to be Tara, so maybe... Jackie? And Darcy could be Roxie, I don't know. I'm not sure about those two.

If you have any other TSOTB/TBR/TDG crossover ideas for Heartstopper please feel free to send them, I would LOVE to read them!! This was a lot of fun to think about.

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oc-mode · 8 months

Text

It had started out as a casual conversation. The topic went from the other's odd obsession with probably-illegal fights to his agility, which Jean thought was uncommon for the average person that age. His companion-that-refused-to-be-named barked out a laugh, and that was how it was revealed that he used to participate in gymnastics.

Rather enthusiastically, in fact, evident by the way his eyes lit up. It was only then did Jean realise how empty his conversation partner's eyes usually were. In his defence, he was usually distracted by how forced the other's ever-present smile was. Jean often wondered whether it made his cheeks hurt.

"---Acrobatics is pretty cool too. I like how elegant it is. You ever seen videos of it online? Can't say I ever cared much for art but that? That's art," the individual-that-insisted-his-name-was-Pancake continued, unable to stop his hands from motioning with clear excitement.

Jean didn't know him too well, but his people-pleaser mentality stubbornly told him that he had to learn about him, if only so that he could effectively get on the latter's good side. Despite his lack of familiarity, however, he could almost swear the permanent, strained smile on 'Pancake''s face was morphing into something more genuine.

But just as soon as it began to form, sadness bled in. A corner of his mouth had twitched, threatening to make the smile fall.

"---Could never get into it though. Regular gymnastics was already pushing it for her," he concluded, the spark in his eyes dulling and his gaze becoming distant.

Jean knew he should have stopped himself, but the question slipped out before he was even aware of it, "'Her'?"

The 30-year-old-guy-with-notable-flexibility turned his head to look at the younger man, his usual fake expression plastered on. It was a face meant to convey something resembling optimistic nihilism, or perhaps something carefree but also selfish and distant. A complete stranger would have thought he was recalling a happy memory, his face deceptively cheerful as he replied, "Oh, my mom. But then, my dad didn't like it very much either. Think they would've preferred if I followed my dad's... Errr... Specialties?"

He motioned a circle with his right hand, the left having slipped back into his pocket. He sounded completely nonchalant, as if he was answering a question that was as normal as being asked for his name.

But then again, he never did answer that particular question, which was why Jean knew that there was more to his reply than he let on. With he-who-does-not-want-to-be-named's commitment issues and apparent allergy to affection, Jean had strong suspicions regarding the former's relationship with his parents. Of course, he had a few other theories, but his reaction towards the topic of parents was almost akin to that of Johnny Depp's Willy Wonka.

It was sad, so Jean genuinely hoped that he was wrong.

In hopes of lightening the mood, perhaps even cheering up the other (if that were even possible), he tried, "That sucks. But if it makes you feel better, I think what you can do is really cool. I think my spine would snap in half if I attempted any of it."

A quirk on the corner of his companion's mouth, amusement clear as he raised a brow, "Say what? You're like- A decade or so younger than me. You're supposed to be looser than I am, old man."

"Wh- 'Old man'?!" Jean exclaimed dramatically, genuinely. Yes, he was trying to make the other guy feel better, but he sure wasn't expecting that jab. Self-conciously, he wondered if he looked older than his age.

God, he hoped not.

The person-who-sometimes-claimed-to-be-named-Potato-McGee cackled, tossing his head back, his hands clapping with childish glee. It was hard to believe he was past his mid-30s, Jean had noted several times before. Ryan once mentioned that 'Potato' was no stranger to having his face changed, although it did not explain the fact that he definitely did not act like a mature adult.

Actually, in hindsight, he behaved much more like someone unwilling to let go of the freedom of childhood.

Or is it more like he's trying to make up for a freedom he didn't have? Jean was unable to stop himself from frowning at the thought.

He could suppose that the plus side to being the 'fat, ugly kid' in school was that he got to understand other kids that were also considered outcasts. He was fortunate to have grown up with, in his opinion, the world's greatest mother- Patient, kind, nurturing. So when he learnt that other kids didn't necessarily have that...

He still remembered how much his heart broke for them.

"Do you suppose there's a gym anywhere in town? Or just somewhere you could give acrobatics another try?" he suddenly asked, never one to be comfortable with silence.

The person beside him quietened, a look of contemplation on his face. "Huh," he muttered more than said, "I never really thought about that."

His gaze was once again distant and anxiety coiled in Jean's gut. A nagging voice in his head insisted he continue the conversation and drag 'McGee' out of his deep thoughts. He could almost hear Edgar's voice somewhere, telling him that he was being ridiculous and that it wasn't his responsibility to make everyone happy.

He told Edgar to shut up.

He wasn't able to act on his self-assigned mission, however, as Mister-Clearly-Not-Okay pushed himself off from his leaning position against the stone wall. With a sigh and a stretch, bones in his hands cracking, he turned to look at Jean once again, eyes tired and forced smile still persistently present.

"It's a good idea," he said as he slid his hands into his pockets, "I'll go take a look around. Heck knows I hate sitting still for too long."

Unsure of how to deal with the sudden goodbye, even though he had been warned by others of the other person's tendency to do so, Jean found himself stuttering. He knew it was silly, but part of him was already screaming that he made everything awkward. He had never been great at dealing with his anxiety though, and often found his mouth moving before he could stop himself. This time was no different.

"Ah! Um! What if there's nothing though?" He cursed himself internally, questioning why he thought that was a good thing to ask. Give a guy something to look forward to and then snatch it away, why not.

But the leaving party simply offered a lopsided grin, "Well, if you hear police sirens, just assume I tried to get a little creative."

And then his back was facing the younger man, the distance growing between them until his silhouette disappeared beyond the horizon.

...Jean wasn't sure if he was supposed to take that last comment seriously.

#emmodii drabbles #yeah i have no idea how to end this one but i just felt like writing and they popped in my head so 🤷🏻‍♂️#kind of a character study? to see how they'd interact and how they'd behave in general #benjamyn park #jean mertle #also it's late and i'm tired. idk if this is coherent or nah but lemme live ya'll. lemme live

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lqvesoph · 2 years

Text

YOU

Age: 21 (born in 2000)

Job: Actress (Model, Singer)

Parents: Scarlett Johansson, Ryan Reynolds

Family Situation: Parents divorced but friends. You love your step-siblings and your step-mum Blake and step-dad Colin, no hatred between any of you

Friends: Tom Holland, Zendaya, Jacob Batalon, Timothée Chalamet, Hailee Steinfeld, Millie Bobby Brown, Johnny Orlando, Chase Atlantic, Kendall Jenner, Gigi Hadid, Taylor Swift, Sadie Sink, Joshua Bassett

Films:

Spiderman 4

• Action / Adventure

Staring: Tom Holland, Zendaya, Y/N Johansson, Jacob Batalon, Timothée Chalamet

Impossible Love (2021)

• Romance / Action

Kat Stones' family are spies. She loves her job but one day comes a mission she is definitely not a fan of. Nathan Jones. As they're both the best young spies, they have to go on a mission where they pretend to be dating. But what happens if Nate turns out to be someone else than he pretends to be. And is actually the son of the boss of the opposite organization? What complicates the situation even more is that he was actually falling in love with Kat just like she did

Staring: Y/N Johansson, Scarlett Johansson, Dylan O'Brien

Temptress (2022)

• Action / Romance

Cleo Lopez. Pretty. Hot. An. Assassin.

Aiden Rodriguez. Pretty. Hot. An Assassin.

You'd think they'd get along but their families are enemies. Both in the same business of selling weapons in the underground life of New York.

They grew up hating each other but crossed each others way a few times, with not so beautiful outcomes, hence the knife wound on his stomach or the shot wound of her thigh.

Cleo and Aiden both get handed a list of people to kill, strange that they meet during this more than once. Aiden threatens Cleo if she doesn't stay out of his way and keeps killing his people, he will kill her, same way around. Until they find out they were both handed the same list and discover something about the whole weapon business is wrong. The curious people they are, they can't stand not knowing and want to find out from who the lists come from. All this while running from the mafia and the police. So to protect themselves, they stay together.

Staring: Y/N Johansson, Tom Holland, Harrison Osterfield (Aiden's best friend)

Twilight (2012)

• Fantasy / Romance

Bella is enjoying her new life as a superpowered vampire and mother to daughter Renesmee. But family happiness is threatened again soon: Vampire Irina is convinced that a child like Renesmee could endanger the Volturi's power. As the Vampire Lords prepare to destroy this threat, Bella and the Cullens rally all allies to win the looming battle - and protect their family

Staring: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Y/N Johansson (Renesmee)

Shows:

Shadowhunters (2016 - 2019) (3 Seasons)

• Romance / Fantasy

On her 18th birthday, Clary Fray, a normal teenager, discovers that she is a shadowhunter, a hybrid of human and angel who is supposed to fight demons. When her mother is kidnapped, Clary finds herself in a world unknown to her: Together with the experienced shadowhunter Jace Wayland and her best friend Simon, she tries to fulfill her destiny and to find her mother.

Staring: Y/N Johansson, Dominic Sherwood

Ice Princess (2017 - 2020) (2 Seasons)

• Drama / Romance

Gracie's on her way to become America's number 1 ice skating Olympic star. But after a drastic fall she's scared to go back on the ice. Her skating career seems to be over when Natasha, an older russian woman sees her skate and offers to train her with her nephew Jonas. Gracie's sceptical, mostly because Jonas Cooper is an absolute asshole but her best friend Kaya convinces her to take the chance.

Staring: Y/N Johansson, Timothée Chalamet, Sadie Sink, Blake Lively

Euphoria (2019 -) (On Going)

• Drama

Euphoria follows the troubled life of 17-year-old Rue, a drug addict fresh from rehab with no plans to stay clean. She meets and becomes friends with the new student Jules Vaughn after her withdrawal. The series focuses on the themes of friendship, sexuality, identity, trauma, drugs and love of the predominantly underage characters.

Staring: Y/N Johansson, Zendaya

Our Dark Secret (Disney TV Show) (2015 - 2017) (3 Seasons)

• Fantasy

Lily and Lia Cooper, the perfect pair of twins for everyone. The two are pretty, long brown hair, green eyes, perfect cheekbones. Both successful in school and Lily is freshly in a relationship with Noah. They seem perfect inside and out.

But they keep a dark secret. They are vampires.

Nevertheless, the two try to live a reasonably normal life until Chloe, another vampire, comes to town. The twins and their friends are thrown into chaos and it becomes more and more difficult to keep their secret.

Their friends become suspicious and find out about their dark secret. But that isn't the worst because what if a dark power occupies one of them?

Staring: Y/N Johansson (Lily), Cameron Boyce (Noah), Zendaya (Lia), Hailee Steinfeld (Chloe), Olivia Rodrigo (their friend)

Cameo's / Mini Roles:

• Captian America: Civil War (2016)

• Deadpool (2016)

• K.C. Undercover (2017)

• Avengers: Infinity War (2018)

• Stranger Things (2019)

• Avengers: Endgame (2019)

this is an upcoming tomholland x actress!reader kind of one shot series which i am VERY excited about!! this is basically my dr hahaha

I have no idea what I'm gonna call it yet, so if you have any ideas let me know <3

lemme know if you want to be tagged

#tom holland #tom holland fic #tom holland fluff #tom holland imagine #tom holland smut #tom holland x actress!reader #tom holland x reader #peter parker fluff #peter parker imagine #peter parker fanfiction #spiderman no way home #spiderman #fiction #actress

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tipolover22 · 2 years

Text

Sing Headcanons

I like to think that Porsha is 19 or 20 because she runs away at the end and that’s not something she could legally do if she weren’t over 18 and, tbh, she doesn’t look like a teenager, she just looks young, definitely no older than 21 in my opinion, but she def doesn’t look like she’s 16 or something.

Buster becomes her new father figure and I headcanon this because at the end she sat in the bus next to him and copies him a bit when he looks at the city.

Buster’s mom died at child birth and that’s why we never hear anything about her in both movies, just his dad. Not having a mom never really affected him.

Johnny's mom died when he was very little so he doesn’t remember much of her, but the little he does it’s all wholesome. Like her hugs and her voice.

Johnny’s mom died due to an illness and the car shop his dad owns wasn’t enough to keep up with the payments for her treatment and that’s why he turned to bank robbing.

Rosita is latina, but since she married a white guy she doesn’t speak spanish much anymore except for her name, which is just a nickname for her real name, Rosa. (None of her kids know spanish either)

Since Buster is now Porsha’s father figure and became Ash’s in the first movie, I like to think Porsha and Ash have a sisterly relationship.

Porsha is ace/aro because I say so

Ash is bisexual and I ship her with Nooshy, who I headcanon is a lesbian.

Meena and Alfonso are sickeningly sweet and their PDA is actually welcomed within her friend group because of how cute they are.

Just like Meena, between working and robbing, Johnny never had the time to date or question who he even likes in the first place.

I ship Johnny with Ryan, the tiger he was supposed to dance fight with in the play.

Klaus becomes a nicer and better dance instructor now that he was humbled by Johnny.

Porsha visited her father in jail only once after everything and decided to never visit him again because it had been an unpleasant experience with all the yelling and insulting.

The first time Porsha calls buster dad is in the heat of an argument with him after he had made a comment in a moment of ignorance not knowing it cut deep in Porsha and she was like, “Why can’t you just be proud of me, Dad?!” And then their both super shocked and Porsha starts to apologize until she feels something hugging her and it’s Buster embracing her from her legs because he’s so short and he tells her that he really is proud of her and from that moment on Buster likes to call her his daughter and Porsha still calls him dad.

Before Porsha starts calling Buster “Dad”, she pronounces his name like “Bustah”, cause of the accent and all.

Buster likes to write preppy, dramatic characters for Porsha since it matches her actual personality and helps her with her acting.

Ash and Porsha have lunch together every other day and Ash introduces her to real rock instead of the Pock Rock Porsha’s so fond of. It’s not really Porsha’s thing, unfortunately, except for a few choice songs and all the songs Ash writes.

The first time Johnny and Ryan go on a date, Johnny doesn’t know it’s a date so their relationship is like (Ryan: My boyfriend is amazing, Johnny: I wonder who his boyfriend is) Until it all gets cleared up and Johnny is an embarrassed mess with Ryan telling him it’s ok, but still laughing.

Johnny is Homo/Demisexual which is why he never dated because he was never around anyone long enough to become friends with let alone gain feelings for.

Gunter, Rosita, and Buster have a sibling relationship. Sometimes Rosita tries to keep it professional by calling Buster, “Mr. Moon” whenever they meet up, but after a few minutes she drops it to a more casual “Buster’. Rosita acts like the bigger sister to both of them especially cause she has kids and knows how to be responsible.

All of Rosita’s kids call Gunter “Uncle”.

If Norman isn’t available to watch the kids, Miss Crawly happily volunteers. She loves kids but never had any of her own. (She is also Ace/Aro, but had a QPLP before they died)

Buster never liked acting himself unless to help one of his actors portray a character. As a teenager, he joined the stage and tech crew in his highschool theatre because he was more interested in making sure the play went beautifully than being the star of it all.

He didn’t start writing his own plays until after highschool and I like to think that his plays only flopped when he first got the theatre because he was a young and inexperienced writer when he wrote those plays, but still felt some pride because those were the first plays he had written and tried to bring them alive on stage but they were just not good.

Buster decided that he liked his plays better when they were musicals, especially because the whole gang has amazing voices.

Miss Crawly has worked at the theatre even before Buster had bought it. She’s always been around actors and stars so it’s easy for her to slip back into that demanding director act.

Meena gains more confidence now that she has a boyfriend. NOT because she has a boyfriend, but because in her mind, if she was able to get a boyfriend, making friends should be way easier now.

Darius gains more respect for Meena after she gains some confidence and tells him he needs start remembering that her name Meena and not Nina. (And she doesn’t say it all scared and shy, she says it like she’s sick of him yakshit)

Ages: Rosita’s kids - between 3 and 8, Porsha - 19/20, Meena - 21, Ash - 22, Johnny - 22, Nooshy - 22, Alfonso - 23, Darius - 23, Ryan - 24, Gunter - 32, Rosita - 35, Norman - 38, Buster - 42

I think that’s enough for now, but if I come up with more I am definitely posting them! Let me know what you all think!!

#sing #sing 2 #sing 2016 #sing2021 #Porsha Crystal #sing Ash #sing Johnny #Sing Meena #Sing Nooshy #Sing rosita #Buster moon #Sing Gunter #miss crawly #sing darius #sing alfonso

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snootchie-bootchies · 3 years

Text

Top ten shows I binged in Quarantine

WARNING MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS IF YOU WANNA WATCH ANY OF THESE SHOWS

10. Sex and the City

This show came out I was born so I didn’t get to watch it while it was airing but quarantine was the perfect time to watch it! It’s the first thing I wanted to watch since I would hear a lot about it on the internet. I have to say it did not disappoint. The chemistry between the four main girls was amazing, and I really enjoyed their friendship. It was fun watching them grow from the very first episode to the last (I ignore the movies they are not canon to me sorry about it). I got watch Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda, and Samantha fall in love, out of love, accept themselves, and take on the city and have sex of course!

9. The Office

The first time I heard about The Office was from my older brother as it is his favorite show. All of my friends watched it and would tell me to but I had no way to so. When we got netflix during quarantine it was one of the first things I wanted to watch. I binged this summer and it made me feel closer to my brother as I understood his humor more. The show is hilarious and the cast had great charisma together. It was cool to see where actors like Steve Carell, John Krasinski, Craig Robinson and many others got their start. I loved watching Jim and Pam’s love story, and Dwight is definitely my favorite character. Overall I understand all the hype around this show.

8. I am not okay with this

I watched this show during summer as well, and holy crap what a show! I was already fan of Sohpia Lilis, and Wyatt Oleff from IT but omg I was so impressed with them after this show! The plot is an interesting one and that ending was insane, so sad there won’t be a season two but what can you do?

7. Hollywood

Definitely one of my fave shows of all time! I’ve seen it about 5 or 6 times. It is a story about old Hollywood but it’s not how you think it is as it a rewrite of it. It was written and created by Ryan Murphy who also created one of my other fave shows of all time Glee. The show has solid cast such as Darren Criss, Jim Parsons, Dylan Mcdermott, and Holland Taylor. The show will make you laugh, cry and wish you lived in old Hollywood! It will also give you a better understanding of how Hollywood works.

6. Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist

This show came out in January but I did not start watching it until the first week of quarantine so Idk if I counts as a binge but oh well. This show is so amazing. It is about a girl who can hear people’s thoughts through song, and she has to figure out a way to help them. It also helps that the show stars Pitch Perfect’s Skylar Astin, and Glee’s Alex Newell. The story is solid, and the song selection is definitely unique with songs from all sorts of genre’s, era’s, and artists.

5. Outer Banks

Oh my god what a great show! It came out in April or May I think but I didn’t watch it until September. The show is about a boy named John B who lost his father at sea and now he and his friends are looking for the treasure his dad was chasing. It has friendship, romance, adventure, and betrayal. This show really made me miss hanging out with my friends. I can’t wait for season 2!

4. Cobra Kai

This show is apart of The Karate Kid series which I have been a fan of since I was a kid. It came out two years ago on Youtube Red and I wanted to watch it then but had no way to. When it got added to netflix this summer I immediately stopped what I was watching to watch it. It follows the bully from the Karate Kid series Johnny Lawrence. He opens up his childhood dojo to help a kid named Miguel with bullies. Eventually more kids start to join, and Danny Larusso the protagonist of The Karate Kid movies opens up his childhood dojo. The show follows new kids including the kids of Danny and Johnny.

3. Dead To Me

I watched this show after season two came out. I was really impressed with this show! The plot really shocked me and I couldn’t tear my eyes away. Linda Cardellini, and Christina Applegate are the leads of this show. Christina Applegate’s husband died in a tragic accident, she meets Linda Cardellini and forms a friendship with her. That is all I will say about this show.

2. Julie and The Phantoms

This show I just finished today, and OH MY FUCKING GOD! This show is a masterpiece and deserves all the hype. It is directed by Kenny Ortega who directed the iconic HSM Series and many more. It’s about a girl whose mother died, and she lost her passion for music. She meets these three ghost who died before they got their big break. They help her find her passion for music and form a band with her. The show will make you laugh, sing, and surprisingly cry. The music is amazing, and the main characters have such amazing chemistry musically, and friendship wise. This show will make you feel good, and look up all the songs on youtube when it’s over! 100/100 recommend.

1. Euphoria

I LITERALLY HAVE NO WORDS FOR THIS SHOW OH MY GOD! I binged it at the end of summer, and it is literally one of the best show’s I’ve ever seen. It follows Rue a teenage girl who’s had drug abuse problems since she was thirteen. She just got back from rehab and meets this girl named Jules. They become best friends, and eventually more. I’m not gonna give to much of this show away but oh my god If you have not watched it you should. However it may trigging to some viewers as there is nudity, drug use, physical abuse, and violence. The show follows more characters than just Rue but she is the main. Zendaya definitely deserved the Emmy for this show!

#Quarantine Binge #Sex and The City #The Office #I am not okay with this #Hollywood tv series #Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist #Outer Banks #Cobra Kai #Dead To Me #Julie and The Phantoms #Euphoria #Netflix #HBO #NBC #Tv show ranking #Tv show review #Multitvshowedit #Myedit

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hoperays-song · 9 months

Note

Okay, we got your opinion on everyone’s favorite candy and if they like sour things.

So, on a scale of 1-20, what is the New Moon Troupe’s level of tolerance when it comes to spicy foods?

Thanks for the ask! I actually already made this scale but with 1-10, so that's what I posted. I hope that's ok and you enjoy! - <3 Gooseless

--------------------------

Johnny: He grew up eating pretty spicy food as both his parents have a high spice tolerance and he definitely inherited it. 8.7

Ryan: I headcanon his step-mother to have made sos ti malice for him a lot as a kid and for his favourite food to be sichuan cucumber salad so he has a pretty high spice tolerance. 9

Nooshy: Not as high of a spice tolerance as her younger brother by any means as they did not grow up eating much spicy food at all. 7.8

Ash: She will put hot sauce on just about everything she can and absolutely loves spicy food. 9.2

Meena: While she enjoys spicy food and is used to eating it, she does not have as high of a spice tolerance as some of the others. 7.5

Porsha: This girl has had spicy food like twice in her life and hated it both times. 4

Buster: He would think milk is spicy, let's be honest here. He will still eat spicy food because he pretends to have a spice tolerance however, but never gets further than like three bites. 2

Eddie: He has an about average spice tolerance and has a fair bit of spicy food but it's not like his favourite. 6.6

Nana: She loves spicy food and strengthened her spice tolerance during her travels as an opera singer back in the day. 8.1

Hobbs: He doesn't love spicy foods but has gotten used to it due to working for Nana for years. 6.9

Rosita: I headcanon her to have cooked a lot as a kid and learned her family recipes from her abuela as a young kid. As she got older she began experimenting more and modifying the recipes to her taste by upping the spice level in the dishes. 7.9

Gunter: He had literally never had spicy food before meeting Rosita and so his spice tolerance is currently extremely low. But it is getting stronger. 4.2

Marcus: I headcanon him to have had like zero spice tolerance as a kid but deliberately trained himself to have one as he got older and started dating Johnny's mum (the daughter of a chef) since he was exposed to spice a ton more. 8.6

Barry: Not only does he enjoy spicy food, he also enjoys torturing Stan by stocking up their apartment with spicy food only. Barry developed a spice tolerance after getting used to Marcus's cooking. 7

Stan: The odd one out of the gang, Stan's just never liked spicy food despite all the others loving it. 4.6

Clay: He loves spicy food and is always willing to try new food that others, especially Ash, offer him. 8.5

Mrs. Crawly: Mrs. Crawly would only season things with a pinch of salt and like a flake of pepper. 2.5

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wildwesternwoman · 4 years

Text

Yeehawgust Day Three: Pony Express

A/N: I am doing Yeehawgust this year as writing prompts (and I am VERY behind). While this is an RDR blog, this is ORIGINAL fiction. There is, obviously, a lot of inspiration draw from Red Dead as well as other Western games, movies, TV shows, and books that I love. Mostly in the names of characters. All characters, however, are my own. All prompts will follow the same group of characters.

As always, feedback is appreciated.

Soundtrack: The Man Comes Around - Johnny Cash

“Let me have it!” Sophia screeched.

“Why, Sophie? It isn’t yours is it, Sophie?”

Mickery snatched the envelop from Len’s hand. “Why does he call you that anyway? All the time I known ya, no one’s ever called ya that.”

“Why dontcha go ask him? And give me that before you go.”

“Hey!” Andy’s voice boomed out, scaring all of them to stillness. They stared at him wide-eyed. Andy’s anger was not a fun thing to be on the business end of. “I thought I told you guys to leave that alone. It ain’t none a y’all’s.”

Andy took the envelope from Mickey and laid it on the bed where he could see it as he buttoned up his shirt. MacKenzie had asked him to take it to the neighboring ranch. It surely wasn’t anything too important cause she didn’t even seal it. It was a large manila envelope and all she did was button it closed.

“I think it’s certainly my business,” Sophia interrupted.

“And just how’s that?”

“Well, it’s my ranch.”

The boys laughed and Sophia stubbornly put her hands on her hips. Sometimes they all felt like they were children, merely pretending to be adults. Occasionally they would break character. This was one of those times.

“It’s your daddy’s ranch, Soph.”

Andy did feel for Sophia. He really did. Things had been all laid out for her just the way she wanted up ‘til recently. Her sister came home from a cushy corporate law job and just waltzed right into Sophia’s job. Andy badly wanted to know why. Had Sophia done something in the almost year he had been gone to warrant her replacing? Was MacKenzie just that good at running ranches? He couldn’t see that.

Andy wanted to ask Mr. Alder – and had it been a year ago, he might’ve. But things just didn’t quite feel the same anymore. This was still home, but it felt like the family had changed. Len and Sophia – and Mickey – they were really all he had left. The only things that had remained the same in that year. He wasn’t sure if that was good or bad.

“That’s Sophie,” Len teased, pulling Andy from his thoughts.

He found himself lost in thought a lot recently. Reflecting on the changes he was seeing, on life, on definitively not being a young man anymore. He’d never felt older. At just 35. How pathetic. While the others argued on about Sophia and her new nickname, he thought about how he felt. Mentally. Physically. Spiritually. He didn’t know if he wanted to know.

He buttoned up his shirt, put on his hat, and picked up the envelope. Paying no mind at all to his friends bickering behind him. He walked right on out, much to their shock. Was he even listening to them? No, no he was not. And ss he walked out of the house, he came face to face with another person he didn’t want to hear babble on about childish nonsense.

“Where ya goin’, Rockford? Runnin’ out on our race?”

Damn Ryan.

“No.”

“Well, it sure looks like you’re leavin’.’”

Andy pushed passed him, not quite feeling like he owed him any sort of explanation. He knew he wasn’t handling all the changes well. Ryan was kind of his boss. But he had done nothing to cause Andy to show him any kind of respect. He was certainly not a leader.

And Ryan was certainly not used to the lack of respect that Andy consistently showed him. Sure, he might’ve been an old hand, but he had been gone a long time and a lot of things had changed. He was going to have to be shown that things were much different now. He placed his hand firmly on Andy’s shoulder.

Andy whirled around, face to face with Ryan. Both of the men felt angry and disrespected. It was an absolute recipe for disaster. Andy’s immediate urge to ball up his fist and punch Ryan directly in the face vouched for that.

“Ya wanna take your hand off ‘a me?”

“Ya wanna tell me where the hell you’re goin’?”

“No, I do not.”

Ryan felt like he was at a crossroads here. If he let Andy get away with this disrespect, it would save a fight. A fight that could potentially land both of them in a lot of trouble with Hosea or Mr. Alder. But Andy would then always feel that he had a right to disrespect him. If he put him in his place, however –

“Let him go now.” His internal monologue was cut off by a feminine Southern voice. “I said now, Ryan.”

MacKenzie Alder was her daddy’s eyes and ears on this ranch and she was out to prove she could do a better job of that than her sister. Two of their best workers killing each other would not lend itself to her favor. She was already at a disadvantage in that a lot of the older hands didn’t like her, especially Andy. They felt she had stolen the job from Sophia, even though she was immensely more qualified. Perhaps coming to Andy’s rescue would win her some point.

“Not that it is any of your business since Mr. Rockford is off the clock, but he’s running an errand for me. Taking some documents over to Green Rose.”

Ryan looked at Andy a beat longer before letting him go and taking a step back. MacKenzie was a smart woman, she had to know that Andy had to be taught to respect more folks than just Sophia and those hands he hangs out with. They were not the ones in charge anymore.

“I expect no further issues from the two of you. Or both Hosea and my father will be informed, and that ends well for neither of you.”

MacKenzie placed her hands on her hips – a power pose. She was in charge here. At least in this situation. No one else. Not her dad, not the foreman, and certainly not her sister. She called the shots. She wanted to get that message across loud and clear to these.

Ryan cursed. “Whatever, have a good ride, Mr. Pony Express.” And he stalked off into the house for God knows what.

Andy looked at MacKenzie. In all the years he had worked here, he felt this was the first time he had really seen her. She looked similar to her sister in that they were both around the same height and blonde with light eyes. MacKenzie’s were a striking blue where Sophia’s were a deep green. They shared the same nose and same look on their faces when they were angry.

But as Andy studied her closer, he realized the two could not be more different. Sophia was a cute girl-next-door type. Sweet and funny, she always looked like she belonged here. MacKenzie, on the other hand, did not. Even around the ranch, she wore dress clothes. Dresses, blazers, boots that you’d sooner see at a gala than in a pasture. She carried herself differently, too. At first, it seemed like she was more confident than her sister, but at closer look, she just expressed that confidence in her body language.

Sophia was effortless, MacKenzie was all strategy. Andy reckoned both had their good and bad points. He just hoped she wasn’t expecting a thank you for coming to his aid. She didn’t seem to be. She just nodded at him, instructed him again to get that envelope to the neighbors, and then walked off into the house, as well.

Andy could only ponder where that left him as he made his way toward the barn. He almost didn’t want to take his horse now after Ryan’s little

pony express

quip, but it was a faster route than the roads from this ranch to the next, so he saddled up anyway and headed off

#writing #my writing #original fiction #not rdr #yeehawgust #yeehawgust day 3 #day 3 #western #yeehawgust 2020

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gaycowbvy · 4 years

Text

{ scott eastwood / cismale / he/him } – ☼ { ARTHUR HAMPTON } is finally here! They’ve lived in Athens for { TWO MONTHS } and are originally from { BELTON, TEXAS }. They are a { TWENTY-SEVEN } year old { GROUNDSKEEPER AT THE ATHENS COUNTRY CLUB } and live in { SANDY CREEK }. Those who know them personally know them to be { + LOYAL } and { + PLAYFUL } as well as { - STUBBORN } and { - HOT-HEADED }. But we’ll let you be the judge of that!

Basic Information

Full Name: Jesse Ryan Hampton Arthur Clive Hampton

Nicknames: Art, Artie, Cowboy

Birthdate / Age: August 1st / 27

Gender: cismale

Orientation: homosexual/homoromantic

Hometown: Belton, Texas

Occupation(s): Groundskeeper at the Athens Country Club

Pet(s): None atm. They did just move here. But he wants a pet really bad. He’d honestly be happy with anything!

List of some likes: jogging, nature walks, literally all animals, whiskey, clubbing, foraging

List of some dislikes: tea, idle time, sewing, woodworking, astrology, heights

Tattoos / Distinguishing Marks: large scar on his right thigh, walks with a limp favoring his left, multiple old scars all over his legs/arms,

Brief Description of Familial Relationships:

Clive Hampton (father): deceased. Not good. He controlled Arthur’s entire childhood. Planned his entire career for him. They never got on well. He would have almost said he’d hated him, until he died. Now he just wishes that his father and him could have been kinder to one another.

Julie Hampton (mother): Estranged. She’s quite judgmental and cares about the family image. He does love her, but there’s a reason they’re estranged. She wouldn’t support him. So, they very rarely speak.

Arthur Hampton Jesse Hampton (brother): his twin brother with whom he’s switched identities. They’re thick as theives. Have been super close ever since their birth. Really, they’re the only ones who can read one another. His brother definitely takes on the “older brother” role. They talk almost every day,

Callie Hampton (ex-wife): Arthur’s best friend since childhood. They were never romantically involved, but always understood one another. They’re still good friends.

Harper Hampton (daughter): His adopted daughter. Though he doesn’t think of himself as anything other than her biological father. He loves her more than anything, and is doing his best to raise her right. Though she can certainly run her mouth, she’s a sweet kid and there’s a lot of her father’s kindness in her.

Additional Headcanon(s)?:

they used to own horses and Arthur dreads letting Harper get a pet, since her go-to horse names were usually something along the lines of “sea biscuit” or “mr. horsey”.

he has a limp, but often forgets about it. or tries to. He’s gotten himself into his fair share of accidents at work because of it.

Additional Information

Hogwarts / Ilvermorny Houses?: Gryffindor / Pukwudgie

MBTI / Known Labels?: ENFP

Special Talents / Gifts?: expert bull rider (though, less so with his bum leg), really good with animals!

Cautious or Daring?: Daring

Coffee or Tea? How do they take it?: Coffee, black.

Musical Taste?: can I get a... yeehaw? favors country. Especially loves Johnny Cash & Steve Grand

Obsessions?: horseback riding, working out

Crunchy or Smooth Peanut Butter?: Crunchy

Pen or Pencil?: Pen

Favorite Books / Movies:

Favorite Color(s): yellow

Favorite Food(s)?: stir-fry, sausages, bbq ribs

Favorite School Subject?: biology

Favorite Quote or Life Motto?:

What does their bedroom and/or workspace look like?: his bedroom doesn’t really feel like “him” yet. He didn’t bring a lot of things with him.

Describe their morning routine if they one:

Life goals? Long or Short Term: short term, he just wants to make a place for himself in the town, a nice place where him & his daughter can be happy. Long term he really wants to explore himself, be who he wants to be instead of who everyone else wants him to be.

Night Owl or Early Bird?: early bird

Guilty Pleasure?: shamefully keen on those christmas hallmark movies

Smoker? Drinker? Drug user?: drinker

Fashion Style?: lots of flannel & denim. pretty form fitting. honestly he’s a gay cowboy what can I say???

Hobbies?: horseback riding, working out, gardening

Favorite Season(s)?: spring and summer. More so summer, since he loves the heat and being justifiably shirtless

#{ ☀ } – there’s a bright golden haze on the meadow || aesthetics.

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talentforlying · 5 years

Text

𝘽𝘼𝙎𝙄𝘾𝙎 ,

full name. john constantine. pronunciation. jon con-stan-tyne. nickname. con job, conj, conny, johnny, bastard, england. height. 6′0″ age. sixty-five, but demon blood in his veins makes him appear younger. physically looks around his early forties. zodiac. taurus. spoken languages. english, latin, french, greek, spanish, hebrew, some sanskrit, basic knowledge of some ancient languages, hellspeak.

𝙋𝙃𝙔𝙎𝙄𝘾𝘼𝙇 𝘾𝙃𝘼𝙍𝘼𝘾𝙏𝙀𝙍𝙄𝙎𝙏𝙄𝘾𝙎 ,

hair color. blond, with flecks of grey. eye color. electric blue, like the clearest water. skin tone. just a few tones warmer than pasty white, with odd tan lines that are even whiter. body type. lanky and lean, with decent muscle definition but not a lot really there. softer in the stomach and thighs, well-defined back muscles, strong calves, broad shoulders that tend to be hunched forward, strong forearms, delicate hands. accent. liverpudlian northern english, with some welsh intonations coming off of his mother’s side. dominant hand. ambidextrous, favors his right. posture. he tends to hunch his shoulders up and forward when he walks or sits, often slumping or slouching when he sits and favors crossing his legs to manspreading. when he’s performing magic, he still has a slope to his spine, but his legs are square beneath his hips and his shoulders are down. scars. missing his left thumb, which he cut off himself during a period of magic-induced insanity. large vertical scar cutting across his left cheek from a knife attack. cigarette burn at his hairline on the right side of his forehead from a goon who’d kidnapped him, and small similar circular burns around the hairline by his temples from electroshock therapy. burn scars from his right hand to his right elbow from plunging it in a vat of burning oil as a test of truth. various scars on his palms from rituals, several on his arms from various creature attacks, various across his body from fights and knife wounds. tattoos. his entire back and most of his upper arms are covered in tattoos, mostly arcane sigils of protection, clarity, and focus. there’s also a tattoo of a pine tree on his right asscheek that was a form of revenge from swamp thing most noticeable feature. eyes and hands. his eyes are like looking into hell itself. his hands are artist’s hands.

𝘾𝙃𝙄𝙇𝘿𝙃𝙊𝙊𝘿 ,

place of birth. merseyside, liverpool, england. hometown. merseyside, liverpool, england. birth weight. about 9lb. birth height. about 15 inches. manner of birth. was removed with his dead twin from his mother during a crude, botched attempted abortion ( not by her choice ). she didn’t survive. first words. “no”. he was a stubborn kid. siblings. one older sister, cheryl masters née constantine. seven years his senior. parents. thomas constantine ( father, deceased ), mary anne constantine ( mother, deceased ). parental involvement. his mother died when he was born. constantine’s father was an abusive drunkard who lived his life constantly in and out of prison, forcing john and cheryl to frequently live with their aunt and uncle and a few other relatives. cheryl more or less raised him until she got married and left the home, at which point john’s father got worse, and john eventually ran away at the age of 14.

𝘼𝘿𝙐𝙇𝙏 𝙇𝙄𝙁𝙀 ,

occupation. mage, dabbler in the dark arts, exorcist and demonologist. current residence. london, england. a decent flat downtown. close friends. chas chandler, his niece gemma ( sometimes ), zatanna zatara ( sometimes ), swamp thing ( sometimes ). relationship status. off-and-on but mostly single. his lifestyle has a tendency of driving away or killing the people he attaches himself to, he’s more or less resigned himself to it. financial status. complicated. he tends to use magic and illusion to gamble his way into cash when he needs it, so frequently has some on hand, but doesn’t actually have a steady job or way of making money besides that. driver’s license. he doesn’t have one and doesn’t want one. criminal record. frequent brushes with the law, ranging from teenage delinquency to breaking and entering charges to fraud to being wanted for murder. was convicted of murder in england in the newcastle case and sentenced to ravenscar asylum. was charged with murder in england after the death of his landlady but the charges were dropped. was convicted of murder in america but was subsequently acquitted. vices. sex, booze, dark magic, arrogance, sentiment.

𝙎𝙀𝙓 & 𝙍𝙊𝙈𝘼𝙉𝘾𝙀 ,

sexual orientation. bisexual. romantic orientation. biromantic. preferred emotional role. submissive | dominant | switch | unsure preferred sexual role. submissive | dominant | switch libido. very, very high. has been called addicted to sex. turn on’s. dry humor, dark humor, a good ass on any gender, brass balls, honesty, throws a good punch, gives as good as they get, mouthy. turn off’s. trying to control him, trying to use him to get to someone else, trying to kill him. love language. touching. if he cares, he shows it in little shoulder squeezes or back pats, touching someone’s face or arm or hair or back. he also shows his love in closeness, sprawling out over someone’s lap or resting his head on their shoulder, and in being vulnerable, talking about his past. relationship tendencies. he has two extremes: either it’s a casual fling or it’s a serious relationship. he tends to gravitate towards wanting emotional connections with people, and so often falls into romantic long-term relationships, but he has a bad track record with keeping those because of how dangerous his work is and how no matter what he does, he’ll inevitably bring it home with him. when he’s not in a committed relationship or one has just fallen apart, he tends to favor a string of one-night stands and casual sex.

𝙈𝙄𝙎𝘾𝙀𝙇𝙇𝘼𝙉𝙀𝙊𝙐𝙎 ,

character’s theme song. either ‘blood of angels’ by brown bird or ‘reaper man’ by mother mother. hobbies to pass the time. drinking at a bar, watching football matches, reading anything he can get his hands on, betting on horses, studying new magic, relaxing with his mates. physical illness. none. left or right brained. right brained. fears. needles, dogs, hospitals, drowning, death, being alone, being controlled, losing the people he loves, failing to save the people he loves. self confidence level. outwardly sky high. inwardly, it varies on an intense spectrum. most of the time he’s stupidly self-confident only because if he isn’t then he’ll most likely die, but he frequently doubts himself and his ability to save people. vulnerabilities. humanity, which he still desperately wants to believe in, the people he loves, his own hubris, his own despair. zatanna zatara, kit ryan, chas chandler.

tagged by. @guiltspelled <3 tagging. @whcwashe, @wightwulf, @lxvingdeadgxrl, and anyone else who wants to do it!

#( character study. ) A WALKING PLAGUE OF A MAN.#( headcanons. ) AND NOW I'M JUST LIKE THE BASTARDS I'VE HATED ALL ME LIFE.#long post for ts #PHEW THIS WAS GREAT this got me back into john in a HELL of a way

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nflfanpointii · 5 years

Photo

40 is the new 35 when it comes to NFL quarterbacks like Tom Brady and Drew Brees

Back in the day, it was less common for quarterbacks to excel past their mid 30’s. Sure, there was Warren Moon, Vinny Testaverde, Brett Favre, Kurt Warner, and John Elway. But that short list is dwarfed by a painfully longer one filled with Hall of Fame quarterbacks who seemed to crap out well short the 40 year marker.

Even these all time greats experienced precipitous drop offs in their mid to late 30’s. For Roger Staubach, Steve Young and Fran Tarkenton, it came at 37. For Bart Starr, Jim Kelly, Dan Marino and Dan Fouts, 36. For Johnny Unitas, George Blanda, Bob Griese, Joe Montana and Terry Bradshaw, 35. For Otto Graham, Joe Namath, and Troy Aikman, 34.

This makes it all the more amazing that so many older quarterbacks are still playing at an elite level in today’s NFL. There might very well be five to seven future Hall of Famers starting in the league right now. Tom Brady and Drew Brees are officially in their 40’s. Philip Rivers and Ben Roethlisberger are both 36. Aaron Rodgers is 34 and Matt Ryan is 33; and both signed extensions in the past couple years at times in their careers when former quarterbacks usually retired.

It’s true, quarterbacks are more protected by the rules of the NFL than ever before, and this certainly has played a part in their new found longevity. In 1978, the league restricted contact between defensive backs and receivers to within five yards of the line of scrimmage. This resulted in a dramatic increase in passing attempts per game, which in turn suddenly made the quarterback position more valuable.

Since 1993, quarterbacks could simply escape the pocket and throw a pass out of bounds without incurring an intentional grounding penalty. This made it harder for pass rushers to get to them before they got rid of the ball, therefore avoiding a sack or quarterback hit.

Roughing the passer penalties have become more and more common as the definition has broadened to include late hits, forcible hits below the knee, hitting the helmet, and landing on the quarterback with one’s own body weight.

Last year, former Packers linebacker Clay Matthews was flagged twice for roughing the passer while making what seemed to be perfectly executed sacks. Ironically, it was probably a hit on Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers the previous season that may have led to the rule change that cost the Packers two victories a season later.

One would think that with these modern day quarterbacks dropping back more times throughout a game than ever before, their careers would be shorter, not longer. That’s why I think there’s more to it than the implementation of more rules that inherently protect the quarterback.

Because they played before GMO’s and modern day fast food chains, many old school players of the past had access to better food. But that doesn’t mean they took full advantage of their timely access to healthier lives. Joe Namath smoked cigarettes on the sidelines for god’s sake.

I doubt they were paying attention to the pH of their foods like Tom Brady or paying upwards of $200K a year like James Harrison did on therapy treatments like massage and acupuncture. The modern day athlete has to be almost obsessive in their quest for success. Talent alone won’t cut it anymore if you want to stick around in today’s NFL.

Extremely strict diets, fitness, and recovery programs have taken the place of binge eating like Babe Ruth, snorting cocaine like Diego Maradona, and binge drinking like Lawrence Taylor. The two oldest current quarterbacks in the NFL also happen to keep two of the strictest diet and fitness regimens across all sports.

Drew Brees has been working with Todd Durkin in San Diego, CA since his days with the Chargers. Brees loves working with Durkin every offseason. “Whenever I come back for the summertime to get in the best shape of my life for training camp, he’s always got something new or a few new things that make me feel like we’re way ahead of everybody else.”

What’s interesting to me, however, is that even though Brees isn’t Durkin’s biggest, fastest, or most agile athlete, he may have benefited the most simply because he’s willing to work harder than everyone else. And that’s saying a lot considering Durkin’s vast client list also includes Carson Palmer, Aaron Rodgers, Darren Sproles, LaDainian Tomlinson, Mark Sanchez, Alex Smith, Brandon Cooks, Reggie Bush, Charles Tillman, Zach Ertz, John Brown, Dontrelle Inman, Malcom Floyd, Ryan Griffin, Chase Daniel, Sean Canfield, Josh Freeman, and my fellow Saints Ignatius College Prep alumnus, Igor Olshansky.

”Drew Brees, first and foremost, is a special person. I will probably not have the opportunity to work with a guy like that in the next 20 years. His concentration and focus are amazing, and he works extremely hard. He’s not the biggest guy or the fastest guy, but he’s going to beat you with his athleticism, his smarts and because he’s such a competitor. I don’t care what it is, the dude wants to win at anything. He’s always restless and never satisfied,” said Durkin.

Brees is absolutely methodical in his training and game preparation. “I know where I’m going to be at a specific time,” he says. “I know what I’m going to be doing; I know what needs to be accomplished for me to feel confident and go out there and play at the highest level.”

His focus has shifted from the archaic meathead approach to training he learned in college at Purdue to a more functional and efficient approach. “I think maybe those [exercises] served the purpose at the time.” Drew says. “But now I’ve wised up to the things that I need to do in a position-specific and functional fitness kind of way to benefit me as a quarterback.”

If you have 30 minutes to kill, watch this video of Brees’ workouts with Durkin.

I’ve been a fitness trainer and instructor for 12 years and I’m telling you, Durkin is the real deal. I love his approach to fitness. I stopped lifting heavy weights years ago and have focused more on agility ladder work, TRX training, yoga, and generally maximizing my strength and endurance gains while also minimizing sheering forces on my joints, tendons, and ligaments.

Tom Brady takes his fitness protocol in an even more holistic, and dare I say, Eastern direction. He and his trainer/business partner Alex Guerrero founded the TB12 training facility next to Gillette Stadium in 2013. Guerrero, though highly controversial, isn’t a total quack in my opinion.

Of course claiming his supplements could curemultiple sclerosis, AIDS, concussions, and other diseases with no shred of testing or evidence based proof was incredibly disingenuous and downright dangerous. Settling with multiple investors out of court for defrauding them is no better either.

But I have to hand it to him: he has kept Tom Brady in phenomenal shape to survive and thrive in the NFL past the age of 40. Guerrero earned a Masters Degree in traditional Chinese medicine from a school in LA that closed after losing its’ accreditation. He is not a physical therapist and does not hold any Western degrees that would qualify him to do a lot of the work he does with his clients.

Yet, Guerrero is highly respected and retained by many professional athletes including Rob Gronkowski, Julian Edelman, Wes Welker, Danny Amendola, Willie McGinest, Jimmy Garoppolo, LaDainian Tomlinson, and Chris Hogan. Instead of focusing on lifting huge weights and tearing muscle fibers, Guerrero prescribes more body weight moves and exercises with resistance bands that are designed to increase the muscles’ “pliability.”

Brady often sees Guerrero twice daily and receives intensely specific massages in which he tenses the muscles while Guerrero massages them. The goal is to lengthen the muscles and increase their flexibility so that Brady can withstand the weekly car crash that is an NFL football game.

The other main focus is to reduce inflammation in the body by maintaining a strict diet. Brady does not eat white flour, white sugar, MSG, iodized salt, coffee, caffeine, alcohol, fungus, dairy, nightshade vegetables and most types of fruit. This diet may sound strange, but it’s most likely derived from the Ayurvedic tradition which is over 5,000 years old and trusted throughout Asia as much as we trust Western medicine.

The part where Brady and Guerrero lose me is by making sweeping statements like everyone should drink 25 glasses of water a day, or eat this exact diet, or that everyone needs to consume TB12 branded electrolytes or wear TB12 branded muscle recovery pajamas.

I’m not 6’4” and 230lbs; I’m 5’6” and 130lbs, so I don’t need more than 65 ounces of water a day, unless Tom wants me to get hyponatremia and die of brain damage. Don’t just replicate a professional athlete’s diet and fitness regimen. These have been specially tailored to them. If you work for Google and sit at a desk for eight hours a day, you probably shouldn’t eat and drink exactly what Tom Brady does.

It’s okay to be skeptical too. Brees isn’t much more trust-worthy with his shameful peddling of Advocare products. It’s important to rely on evidence-based research conducted by independent bodies without a financial stake in the products they test. Even more important, think for yourself and do your own research before listening to athletes that have a financial stake in the health philosophies they are sharing with the public.

If you aren’t hip to eating according to your Ayurvedic dosha (My dosha is roughly 70% Pitta, 20% Vata, 10% Kapha) like Brady seems to, you can go the Western route and still learn something about how to function at a higher level, no matter what your lifestyle is. Drew and Brittney Brees got food sensitivity blood tests done back in 2004. That’s when Brees found he had significant sensitivities to gluten, dairy, and certain nuts.

“As you can imagine, I was shocked because I was consuming most of these things every day. And just to think how long I’ve had these sensitivities and had continued to feed them. Guys coming in fresh out of college are used to going to the training table and eating and drinking whatever they’re given.”

“In many cases, I see myself as a veteran player – pulling those young guys aside and, as part of teaching young players how to be a pro, talking to them about their diet, their sleep habits and their recovery. They’ll start to ask questions like, ‘Hey Drew, what do you do?’ That’s when I explain to them that I use coconut milk and almond milk products.”

It’s not just Brees’ direct teammates like Reggie Bush, Sean Canfield, Chase Daniel, Brandin Cooks, and Ryan Griffin who have followed his lead when it comes to diet and fitness. “It took the fourth or fifth time hearing, ‘You need to do this,’ and then reading about Drew Brees and Tom Brady and others who are your peers doing it,” Kirk Cousins said. “I realized, ‘If I want to hang with these guys, then it’s time to stop playing around.’”

18 of the 32 quarterbacks starting in the NFL are over 30 years old, and by September that list will grow to 21 with the 30th birthdays of Cam Newton, Tyrod Taylor, and Andrew Luck. Even though five quarterbacks were drafted in the first round last year, there’s a good chance less than a third of the starting quarterbacks in the league will be younger than 30 years old.

40 might be the new 35, and it’s not just because of some changes in the rules. Players are spending highly on optimizing their health and performance through a multitude of practices both new and incredibly old. Cousins is right, it’s time to stop playing around.

#saints #new orleans saints #nfl #nola no call #mission miami #csc.com

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themusicenthusiast · 5 years

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Thursday, April 18th, 2019 - Snow Patrol Doesn’t Give In to Technical Difficulties, Overcoming to Satisfy Dallas Fans at the Kickoff Show of the North American Leg of the Wildness Tour

Photos by Jordan Buford Photography The lengthy drought was finally coming to end for the residents of North Texas who were Snow Patrol fans. The headline tour the UK-based indie-rock/alt-rock outfit is currently in the midst of was precipitated by the release of Wildness (out via Polydor Records) nearly a year ago – Snow Patrol’s first new album in nearly seven full years. There was also the tour they did supporting Ed Sheeran’s North American tour last fall, though that provided their fans with but a meager taste of what they craved after Snow Patrol’s years long absence from the Lone Star State. That was all set to change on this Thursday night, the band finally bringing the Wildness Tour to North America – about half of the twenty-one dates already sold-out – with Dallas serving as the launching point for the trek. South Side Ballroom was hosting what was poised to be a spectacular night, the band having already toured extensively around various parts of the world -- most recently South America -- ensuring they were in prime touring shape, while the break they got afforded them what was surely some much needed rest, allowing them to be in peak form for this next round of shows. While not sold-out, fans packed into the venue in droves, those lucky enough to arrive early getting treated to a delightful set from Ryan McMullan, while the trio that was We are Scientists put on an intense show, being thorough in warming up the sizable audience for whatever the band of the hour had prepared. What was interesting about the audience was how relatively diverse the makeup of it was. There were those who had likely been fans since Snow Patrol’s work became so acclaimed, circa the early to mid-2000s, while others in attendance had probably just been born around that time or shortly before. The single constant among the throng was how elated they all were to finally see Snow Patrol (again), their adoration for the group spilling over.

Several false starts excited the spectators that much more, the lights dimming a handful of times as the stage hands got everything in place, resulting in ample cheers and applause before disappointment set in as the lights illuminated everything once more. Then, at 9:38, it was officially on; a snowflake filling the screen at the back of the stage as drummer Jonny Quinn, bassist Paul Wilson, multi-instrumentalist Johnny McDaid and guitarist Nathan Connolly made their way on stage. Gary Lightbody completed things, the most boisterous fanfare having been saved for the frontman and guitarist who portrayed himself as being rather effervescent, kindly smiling and waving at everyone as he greeted them. It would have made sense that Wildness would be put on full display, allowing fans to experience much of that record in the live environment. However, after so many years away, most fans probably could have cared less about that, instead preferring to hear many of the classics they had missed so. Well aware of that, Snow Patrol opted for the more familiar for their first string of songs, beginning with “Take Back the City”. It was a striking opener on many fronts. For starters, taking the lyrics out of context, it felt like an appropriate welcome for them and to everyone. “I love this city tonight. I love this city always…” One got the sense that they had every intention of leaving their mark on the city; and it also highlighted the superb harmonies the band is capable of. On acoustic guitar duty for the moment, McDaid chimed in along with Connolly and Wilson, the three of them not only providing the backing vocals but also bolstering what Lightbody was doing as he paced around the stage, belting out a few of the lines in an incredibly impassioned manner.

Immediately electrifying, it was evident that Snow Patrol meant business. With that opening number one could feel the magic and compelling nature this music has, the past ten plus years since the release of A Hundred Million Suns having done nothing to diminish it; the intimate rapport with the audience being felt right away. Snow Patrol was there to entertain and deliver a memorable experience for all that had turned out, and they certainly got off on the right foot. That said, the first half of their set was plagued by some technical difficulties. It became more noticeable as they moved along; Lightbody spending a few moments fiddling with some of his equipment in hopes that it just required a simple fix, but to no avail. They handled it like the seasoned veterans they are, though, not even calling attention to it for a while, while the frontman never missed a beat, basically just shrugging it off and going about things as normal.

Prominent as the keys were during “Crack the Shutters”, that spellbinding love song boasted a robust rhythm section, Wilson really grooving to it as he strode around stage right, his movements seemingly calculative, as if he were waiting for the most opportune moment to strike. Indeed, he did as the track approached each crescendo. Upon finishing it Lightbody extended an official greeting to everyone, and also offered some insight to his appearance. Those closest to the stage had probably noticed he was lacking some shoes, instead just going barefoot. “…I’ve been wearing the same shoes for a year…” he remarked, adding that he wound up trashing them after they wrapped their South American tour. The lack of footwear seemed extra enjoyable to him. “Empress” was the first of a decent handful of cuts to be performed from Wildness; and given that it came after some older material, it was nice to see how it stacked up against those past works. This newest release is comprised of some of the most solid songs that Snow Patrol has produced, and even if there was a year’s long gap between albums, their signature sound wasn’t affected. “Empress” alone possesses that stellar indie-rock vibe that has proven to be a hallmark of the bands’ work, while also offering up a healthy serving of rock ‘n’ roll through the steady, pummeling percussion and the roaring guitars, both of which feel bolder than ever. That was particularly true when hearing that one live, the majestic scope of it being enthralling, while it simultaneously provided everyone with some serious rock.

If there was one positive to the trouble they were experiencing on stage, it was that it allowed Lightbody to conduct himself in a more natural manner, his affable demeanor leading one to appreciate the musician even more. He was handed a new guitar after that aforementioned song, laughing after having a quick chat with the tech that brought it to him. “So, I asked our guitar tech if this guitar was working, and he said, ‘You’ll find out in a minute’.” Even if he was dissatisfied with what was happening, he never seemed irritated by it, the quintet just going with the flow and taking things as they were. “This is a very appropriate song for this moment,” Lightbody quipped. “Don't give in. Don't you dare quit so easy…” he crooned as “Don't Give In” got underway, that more restrained number definitely taking on new meaning with the then current circumstances.

It didn’t go off without a hitch either, and again Lightbody just laughed it off. “This is the first night of the tour. Can you sense it?!” he asked afterwards, grinning and chuckling. He said it perfectly though when he stated that everybody was in it together, and that was, indeed, the shared mentality. “Open Your Eyes” capitalized on that. That cinematic masterpiece earned the strongest reaction from the spectators up to that point, especially as it hit its striking final minutes. Motioning with his hands, soon raising his arms into the air, Lightbody silently implored everyone to just let the music course through them and give themselves wholly to the song. They did, most of the crowd echoing along to that final refrain. A few minutes later Lightbody provided some backstory to this leg of the tour, noting they had been scheduled to fly into Dallas from Los Angeles the previous day, though bad weather had delayed that. “Bullshit!” one fan bellowed to that remark, referring to the severe weather that had been forecasted though never came to fruition. “There were, like, four hundred and fifty flights cancelled from LA…” the singer responded. “I was trying desperately to get here…” he added, joking that he was even considering one of Leonardo da Vinci's Flying Machines as a mode of transportation to Dallas. That daylong delay had resulted in them missing soundcheck for this show, Lightbody admitting that was the cause of so many of the problems they were having, owning that reason rather than passing things off on it.

Again, it shed light on who he really is and made him all the more likable. Pointing out a guy closer to the front, he declared it his job for the night to make the stone-faced gentleman smile. “You were dragged here?” Lightbody said as he briefly conversed with the man, realizing his job had just become that much more challenging. So, he did the only thing he could do: he dedicated the next song to the man. “I’m a time traveler from the future, and I met you and this song is about you,” he joked, using that as a segue into “Life on Earth”. Another song orchestrated on a grand scale, it allowed the spectators to fully appreciate the intricacies of Snow Patrol’s music. That was noticeable at every turn this night and it allowed the music to be so much more breathtaking, the way that Connolly, Wilson, McDaid and Quinn so artfully alternated between the more serene moments and the absolute precision they required to cutting loose and demonstrating the full extent of their musical prowess and how dynamic they can be.

That marked the end of the first half of their set, and before carrying on Lightbody swapped out some of his equipment, seeming assured that would remedy the issues and promising the next bit was “going to be great.” The difference was noticeable and immediate. The next number sounded so much clearer; every note, beat and word more pronounced, leading to an all-around lusher sound. It was Snow Patrol in all their glory; and while nothing had sounded bad up to then, it was evident that they firing on all cylinders at that point, eager and ready to make up for everything that they thought they had been lacking thus far. Seizing upon that newfound momentum, they even bridged a couple of the songs into the following one, further empowering themselves. Quinn and Wilson unleashed their full might on “Shut Your Eyes”, the rhythm section sounding surprisingly dominant on that one. Subtle as it was, one could even feel those sonorous notes shaking them; while “Heal Me” stood out as the most pleasantly surprising song of the night. It was self-described as being Lightbody’s favorite new song to perform live, he and his bandmates putting an exceptional amount of gusto into it. The recording itself is great, serving as another perfect example of how well Snow Patrol produces cinematic sounding pieces of work, but live it transcended that. That was present, though all the instruments sounded fiercer, a little rawer than what was captured in the studio, transforming “Heal Me” into a roaring beast that left everyone awed.

The best had been saved for last, those mesmerizing chords that begin “Chasing Cars” eliciting some deafening fanfare that was only outdone when the final line came around and was abruptly ceded to the crowd who didn’t miss a beat in collectively singing, “…Would you lie with me and just forget the world?” That song alone reinforced the staying power that music has, “Chasing Cars” being a song that everyone has surely heard before, even if they weren’t entirely sure who was responsible for it. It has aged exceptionally well over the last dozen plus years, still being a definitive piece of indie-rock (and a timeless one at that), the lyrics epitomizing just what an intimate and honest song should be; Lightbody’s emotional investment in his delivery of those words being unquestionable. “Take care of yourselves; we’ll see you again,” the singer stated as they moved along to the closing track of their 79-minute long set, which concluded in an exuberant fashion; the spectators getting to participate one more time as they sang and clapped along.

A few patrons took their leave at that point, no doubt wanting to beat the masses in getting out of the parking lot, which can be hectic to say the least. However, most were steadfast, certain that an encore was coming and eager to get the most out of this experience. While Snow Patrol did adhere to the routine that the encore has become, Lightbody didn’t hesitate to poke fun at it. Upon returning he joked about how typical an encore was of the arts and entertainment industry, laughing that the performers just go backstage and are like, “…Please, please like us!” he said in an exaggerated and desperate tone. Elaborating further, he even seemed keen on the idea on just playing every song in one setting, though acknowledged people would still wonder why there was no encore, so it’s better to just keep up the charade. McDaid was the only other member accompanying him for the first song of the 9-minute encore; the words “What if this is all the love you ever get?” filling the screen behind them.

The most bare-bones song of the night, it enraptured the audience in a way they hadn’t been at any other point. “What If This Is All the Love You Ever Get?” was another brilliant example of one of their songs transcending itself in the live environment, those lyrics that challenge one to reevaluate any relationship they’re in, to not take it for granted and embrace every aspect of it being exceptionally potent. A truly special moment, it was a pleasure to hear what is one of the best offerings from Wildness live; Connolly, Wilson and Quinn rounding things out for one last enchanting love song that felt like the perfect ending to their relatively brief but incredibly memorable time in Dallas. It may not have been the cleanest show of Snow Patrol’s career, but it was an awesome one nonetheless. You can’t fault a band for any technical difficulties that may occur, so all that is just beside the point. What isn’t beside the point is how resilient the five of them remained in the face of the obstacles that were suddenly thrown their way. I know I touched on that earlier, but it was still insightful to see how they handled it and wonderful that they didn’t let it affect them by getting flustered or upset. You just had to love them even more after witnessing that; and nothing ever sounded terrible out in the crowd.

The well curated set -- one comprised of some of the most stellar material they’ve churned out over their career -- they had planned helped in guaranteeing that everyone was transfixed with what they were playing, the overall structure of it having an excellent ebb and flow that took the listener on an emotional journey. It hit most if not all of the highlights and spanned a respectable amount of time, and while Snow Patrol made the wait fans had to endure well worth it, concertgoers leaving happy and content, it still seemed to pass too quickly, everyone already hungry for more. Hopefully they won’t have to wait as long between the next tour of North America. A significant voice in the indie-rock world for the better part of a couple decades now, Snow Patrol has managed to retain the high-profile spot they managed to position themselves in, and this performance just reinforced why they are still all too worthy of it. Some of the new stuff they played came across as being instant classics of theirs, while the smash hits and old favorites they had lined up were as marvelous now as they were upon first hearing them. Maybe even more so. It’s rare to find music that is capable of continuously impressing like that and that just speaks to how skilled this collective of musicians is when it comes to penning genuine, emotive music that connects with everyone. Something that resonates with the listener at their very core, and because of that, Snow Patrol evoked the quintessential concert experience this night, one where every soul in the building was unified by that music, feeling like they were part of something much bigger, even if it was for but a moment. This leg of Snow Patrol’s tour will run through May 21st, when it concludes at The Wiltern in Los Angeles, CA. Other notable stops include a performance at The Anthem in Washington, D.C. on April 26th; New York, NY’s Terminal 5 on April 30th; The Riviera Theatre in Chicago, IL on May 7th; and The Joint at Hard Rock in Las Vegas, NV on May 18th. A complete list of their tour schedule and additional info for each show can be found HERE; and be sure to check out Wildness in iTUNES or GOOGLE PLAY. Set List: 1) “Take Back the City” 2) “Chocolate” 3) “Crack the Shutters” 4) “Empress” 5) “Don't Give In” 6) “Open Your Eyes” 7) “Run” 8) “Life on Earth” 9) “Make This Go On Forever” 10) “Shut Your Eyes” 11) “Called Out in the Dark” 12) “Heal Me” 13) “Chasing Cars” 14) “You're All I Have” Encore 15) “What If This Is All the Love You Ever Get?” 16) “Just Say Yes” Note: ”The Lightning Strike (What If This Storm Ends?)” appeared on the set list though was not performed.

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piratekane · 6 years

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missing scene: june 1 (vanessa/charity)

Picking up where Vanessa and Charity left off, with Vanessa heading into work (and Charity definitely babysitting Johnny)...

“Nothing else matters,” she says, looking across the table. The words feel sticky in her mouth, the lie lukewarm against the back of her teeth. Everything has tasted like tar since DI Simmons told her the truth. Her son - Ryan - is alive. She takes another sip of her brew and swallows, wincing. The tea has cooled and gone bitter.

Vanessa pauses, half in and half out of her jacket. “Are you sure you don’t mind-”

“‘Ness,” she says wearily. She rubs at her forehead. “I said I don’t mind, yeah? Anyway, Johnny’s down now and I was just going to catch up on some light reading.”

Vanessa snorts. She picks up the book Charity brought over with her, tucked under her arm as she nervously slipped through the door, hoping no one would be watching. She’d told Debs and Noah she was going to work and they’d take the mickey if they knew she was sneaking into Tug Ghyll instead.

Skiving work for a fumble, Debs would say, rolling her eyes.

“I wouldn’t call Pride & Prejudice ‘light reading’,” Vanessa says.

Charity blinks, frowning slightly. “Think it’s above my levels?”

“Above mine, more like,” Vanessa says. She frowns and reads the back cover. “Never liked Jane Austen much.”

Charity softens. She knows she’s looking for a fight; looking for something to spark through her and make her feel like herself again. But she also knows that Vanessa isn’t the person to pick on. Maybe if Vanessa meant less; maybe if they were just a ‘bit of fun’ instead of ‘girlfriends’; maybe if there wasn’t an undercurrent of something like love rippling through Charity every time Vanessa smiled at her.

But she doesn’t and they aren’t and there is.

So Charity takes a deep breath instead and stands up, crossing the space between them and sliding her hands under Vanessa’s jacket. “I don’t mind,” she says carefully, meeting Vanessa’s eyes so she understands. She glances away as she speaks again. “Don’t know why you trust me with ‘im, though. I’m not-”

“Stop it,” Vanessa says sharply.

Charity’s heart skips hard in her chest. There’s something about an assertive Vanessa that makes Charity’s knees weaken enough so they’re at the same height.

“You’re a good mum,” Vanessa says. Charity looks away and Vanessa clicks her tongue, her hand at Charity’s chin. “You are,” she says, softer. “And I trust ya. More importantly, Johnny does. It’s not often he doesn’t want me to read him a story before naptime, but you’ve outranked me, yeah? He thinks you’ve hung the moon just for him.”

Charity scoffs. “I’m new. Just because he wanted me to put him down this time doesn’t mean he likes me. He’ll get bored of me.”

Vanessa shakes her head. “You are anything but boring, Charity Dingle.”

Charity leans in, resting her forehead against Vanessa’s. “Are you sure you have to go in?”

She’d much rather stay here, with Vanessa, trapped inside Tug Ghyll where reality has to come to them, and they can decide if they open or the door or not. With Vanessa around, the weight on her shoulders gets a little easier to carry. And when she’s gone, the rooms are just a little dimmer.

That’s love, a voice in her head says.

She tampers the voice down for now.

“I have to now, I’m sorry,” Vanessa says, her shoulders sagging.

Charity sighs and pushes out her bottom lip. “Well, you better get on so you can get back, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Vanessa echoes, leaning in for a kiss. Charity’s grip tightens on Vanessa’s hips, holding her close for a moment before she lets her go. “I’ll be back before you know it,” she promises.

“I won’t wither away,” Charity grumbles.

“Like your Elizabeth Bennet?”

Charity frowns. “Have you even read Pride & Prejudice?”

Vanessa shrugs a shoulder. “I saw the movie. Colin Firth is fit.”

Charity wrinkles her nose. “And you didn’t know you liked men, yeah?”

Vanessa makes a face her, rolling her eyes. “Oi, he’s a fox.”

Charity lifts an eyebrow slowly. “Sure he is, babe.”

Vanessa pinches her side gently. “You’re lucky I like you.”

“As blessed as the Queen, I am.” Charity kisses Vanessa one more time, and pulls away reluctantly.

The house is quiet as the door shuts behind Vanessa. She stands in the middle of the living room, soaking it in. At the Woolpack, there’s never a moment of peace. There’s punters in the pub and a hundred people in the living room. They leave her well enough alone; been giving her extra space, since the news about Bails broke. But it’s not like this: absolute stillness, absolute quiet.

Quiet is different than silence, Moira had said. Charity never had the words to put to that feeling before. Living in that apartment Bails paid for, the hospital room after she delivered her baby - Ryan - and he didn’t cry - that was silence. But Tug Ghyll is quiet. Charity likes it here; she did even when she lived with Cain and Debbie, too. But something about it being Vanessa’s now, about her being in Vanessa’s space, makes the quiet easier to manage; easier to sink into and wrap around herself and still feel safe.

Safe, she thinks. What all these children deserve to be.

She’s on the stairs before she knows she’s moving, down the small hallway to the door of Johnny’s room. She hesitates there, leaning against the doorframe.

Johnny is exactly where she left him, snuggled up under the Paw Patrol duvet Vanessa got him a few weeks ago, when he moved from a cot to a bed with rails. He sleeps like Vanessa sleeps, curled up one side with enough fluff under his head that she almost doesn’t see his face. He’s got an overstuffed pillow and his Johnny stuffed toy and he looks so content that Charity wishes he would never get older than this moment right here.

She used to think her son - Ryan - would never get older than the moment he was born.

She watches the rise and fall of his chest and wonders what it might have been like to do this in a different room, in a different town, with a different boy. He had a small tuft of hair, just like Johnny’s mohawk. He had been so little, too; so small that she was sure he would break if she had touched him.

She would gotten him a big duvet like Johnny’s, and all the stuffed toys he wanted. She would have scraped together the money and given up wine gums and she would have boughten him pillows so he felt like he was sleeping on clouds.

She watches Johnny breathe: up and down and up and down and she wonders what it would have been like to watch her son - Ryan - breathe, sleep, dream.

She would have been a good mum.

She would have tried.

Vanessa slips through the front door, an apology on her lips. She frowns as she takes in the empty living room, Charity’s mug still on the kitchen table. A ripple of fear runs through her, but Charity isn’t Adam; there’s no reason she would take Johnny and run. He must have fussed, Vanessa thinks. Or he’s awake and Charity is scooping him up. It’s been about an hour since she left for work after her lunch and his naps are getting shorter these days.

She’ll just grab the file she left on the table and be off.

But when she waits a minute, to maybe sneak in one quick kiss before she hurries back to the surgery, she doesn’t hear Charity moving around upstairs. She doesn’t hear Johnny babbling or the sound of footsteps coming. She frowns and moves to the stairs, peering up to the empty landing.

She climbs them slowly, listening closely for something - anything.

Vanessa gets to the top of the stairs and pauses again, eyes narrowing as she takes in the figure at the end of the hall, just inside Johnny’s room. Charity comes into focus as she gets closer and Vanessa’s frown deepens.

“Charity, what’re you-” She stops herself, clapping a hand down over her mouth.

Charity is asleep, sitting on the floor in Johnny’s room with her back against the frame. Her mascara is dried on her cheeks and she’s clutching the Marshall stuffed toy that Johnny demanded but never prefers.

She came up here, Vanessa thinks. She came up here to… She...

Vanessa sobs once, the noise echoing in the quiet room. She backs up out of door and into the hallway, her body heaving as she cries. She covers her mouth with her hand, biting down on her fingers to stifle the cry building in her chest and bubbling up through her mouth. Her cheeks are wet and hot as she slides down to her knees, one hand on the wall.

She came up here to watch him sleep, Vanessa thinks. She fell asleep watching over him.

Her lungs ache and her chest burns and her stomach is in knots, but she can’t stop looking at Charity’s profile; at the dip of her head and her chin against her chest; at the grip she has on Marshall. She can’t stop looking at the woman she loves watching over the only thing she’s done right in this world and she cries.

She cries for the years Charity lost to Bails. She cries for the years Charity lost with Ryan, and with Debs, and Noah, and Moses. She cries for the people who took and took and took from Charity, giving her nothing back in return. She cries for all the times Charity didn’t; all the times she couldn’t.

Vanessa hears Charity hum sleepily and she hurries to her feet, wiping at her face as she creeps down the stairs and back into the living room. She collapses onto the couch, her body folding in half as she tries to catch her breath. It comes back to her slowly and she sits up, swallowing down a fresh wave of tears.

Be strong, she scolds herself. Be strong for her.

Not that Charity needs strength; she has it in spades.

Vanessa takes a deep breath, wiping her hand across her face once more for any remaining tears, and grabs the door handle. She opens and closes the door, slamming it loud.

“Hiya!” she shouts.

She hears something thump upstairs and the sound of heavy footfalls on the stairs. She buises herself with shuffling through the file she’s come back for as Charity hurries into the living room.

“Is it tea time already?” Charity asks, her voice hoarse. She clears her throat quietly.

Vanessa turns, a bright smile on her face. “Not quite. I forgot something,” she says. She holds up the file. “Got it.”

Charity looks past her, distracted. “Okay,” she says absently. She runs a hand through her hair and shakes her head, clearing the sleep in her eyes. “Uh, Johnny’s fine.”

“I didn’t worry he wouldn’t be,” Vanessa says.

“Right,” Charity says.

Vanessa aches to go over to her, to wipe the mascara off her cheeks and hold her. Instead, she gives her a wider smile. “Alright?”

“Yeah, babe,” Charity breathes. She smiles back and Vanessa almost believes it to be real. She takes a deep breath and tries again, her smile a little more believable. “Come ‘ere.”

Vanessa meets Charity halfway, kissing her hard. Charity moans softly, tensing for a moment before kissing her back.

“What was that for?” Charity asks, her smile pressed against Vanessa’s.

For everything, Vanessa thinks.

“No reason. Missed you,” Vanessa says.

Charity husks a laugh that Vanessa feels warm the pit of her stomach, pushing away the knots. “You’ve been gone an hour, babe.”

“I can miss you,” Vanessa says defensively.

Charity leans forward, her head resting against Vanessa’s shoulder. Her hands slide to the small of Vanessa’s back, her fingers kneading into the tension there. “‘Course you can. Just… people don’t usually.”

“I’m not most people,” Vanessa whispers.

“No, you’re not,” Charity mouths against her neck.

Vanessa strokes her hands through Charity’s hair, letting her eyes close as she breathes in Charity’s shampoo. She winds the long strands of Charity’s hair around her fingers and tugs gently, humming Charity’s name.

“We might take that walk,” Charity murmurs back.

Vanessa smiles against Charity’s temple. “Johnny loves the ducks.”

“Wonder where he gets that from.” Charity lifts her head. “A little you, isn’t he?”

Vanessa smiles proudly. “Poor him,” she teases.

Charity thumbs Vanessa’s hip, one corner of her mouth turned up as she looks down where her hand rests over Vanessa’s trousers. “I reckon he’s lucky, yeah? You’re alright, you know.”

“Just alright?” Vanessa asks, fighting a smile.

Charity shrugs a shoulder. “I won’t be taking out an advert, mind you.”

Vanessa laughs. “What would it say? Vanessa Woodfield. She’s alright.”

Charity smiles properly now, wide and bright. “Get you a proper nametag and everything.”

Vanessa rolls her eyes. “What a romantic.”

“That’s something I’ve never been accused of before.” Charity leans in, nipping at Vanessa’s lower lip. “And I’ve been accused of quite a bit in my day.”

“Like amazing,” Vanessa breathes.

“That was a first,” Charity admits.

“Won’t be the last,” Vanessa promises.

Charity looks down at her hand again, curling it over the waistband of Vanessa’s pants. “What are you like?”

Vanessa shrugs a shoulder and kisses Charity again before she unwinds from Charity’s hold, smiling regretfully. “I’ve got to get back before Paddy thinks I’m skiving off to have a snog.”

Charity arches an eyebrow slowly, reaching out to wind a hand through Vanessa’s hair. “Well, if he already thinks it…”

Vanessa dances away from Charity’s hand, holding the file between them like a shield. “Don’t you dare.”

Charity follows after her, eyes dark and her smile wicked. “Just a quick one, yeah?”

“Charity,” Vanessa warns. She backs up towards the door, feeling behind her for the knob. She laughs loudly as Charity pins her to the wall, kissing her neck, nipping at the spot she knows drives Vanessa crazy. “Charity,” Vanessa says, the name stretching.

“To give you something to think about,” Charity rasps. Her teeth scrape over Vanessa’s neck and up behind her ear.

“I think about you all the time,” Vanessa admits, tipping her head back.

Charity’s mouth finds hers, two fingers pulling Vanessa’s chin down. “”Ditto, kid.” She kisses Vanessa again. “Ditto.”

#vanity #charity x vanessa #emmerdale #charity dingle #vanessa woodfield

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