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free-pancakes · 3 years

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A Fire in the Shadows

LeviHan - Avatar the Last Airbender AU fic

Characters: Levi, Hange, Erwin, Mike, Nanaba, Moblit, Kenny, Zeke, Sasha, Jean, Armin, Kuchel, Porco, Pieck

Summary: Levi, the nephew of a fire nation captain, stumbles upon a ragtag group of 5 known as the Scouts, formidably known for foiling the plans of local fire nation control, living in the forests a few miles north of Ba Sing Se.

Chapter 5: Interconnected Chapter 4: The Fire from the Shadows Chapter 3: Bonds Chapter 2: Trust Chapter 1: The Scouts

(crossposted to ao3)

CH 5: Interconnected

A 10 year-old Hange sat by the edge of the river running right outside her home, listening to the happy quacks of little turtle ducks swimming by. She smiled as she molded the fire in her palm into a small ball of flame, tossing and kicking it back and forth to herself. Erwin walked quietly towards the river, and stared at Hange from afar. He couldn’t help but watch, mesmerized at the finesse of her movements—she was a natural, more adept than even the adult firebenders he knew, at just 10 years old. She was just a kid, but she was skilled beyond her years. He was so proud of her, but admittedly, a little jealous. He looked down at his hands, sad that he wasn’t gifted with the ability to bend an element. He lowered them and shook his head—despite this, the pride he had for his best friend far outweighed any sadness he felt being a non-bender. He’d always stand by her side.

“Hange, I got the stuff you asked for.” He pulled off his backpack and shook its contents onto the grass—a metal funnel, metal clamps, and wax adhesives. Hange’s eyes glowed with fiery excitement as she squealed with joy. “These are perfect!” She gathered the supplies and ran towards the house. “Come on Erwin, race you back to my room!” She sprinted ahead, and Erwin laughed as he ran to catch up with her.

Hange ran into her home, tracking dirt all over the wooden floorboards. “Hange dear, come on, I just mopped the floor!”

She disappeared into her room and yelled, “Sorry, Mom! I got a super-top-secret-urgent project to work on!”

Before she could ask Hange to come back and clean up her mess, she turned around to find Erwin already sweeping up the dirt.

“Oh Erwin, you’re so sweet, you don’t need to do that!” She gently took the broom out of his hand and ruffled his hair. “Go join Hange, don’t worry about it,” she said softly.

“Thanks for having me, Mrs. Zoe,” he politely nodded his head and walked into Hange’s room, closing the door gently behind him. He looked down to find Hange busy producing a tiny fire at the tip of her index finger, welding the metal to the rest of her contraption. Erwin knew better than to talk to her while she was engrossed in conjuring up her newest invention, so he put his backpack down on the floor and sat neatly across from her. He stared up at the wall, at the same picture frames he always looked at whenever he waited for Hange to finish her latest project. The picture was that of a man who resembled Hange’s father, his arm around a young Avatar Roku and a few other people, all of them smiling together.

According to Hange, the bespectacled man in the painting was her great grandfather, a good friend of Roku. Beneath this was a picture of Erwin’s grandparents arm-in-arm with Hange’s grandparents and all of their friends. The picture below that was one from a few years before either Hange or he was born, showing his and Hange’s parents laughing together, and in the center, a beautiful woman with long, black hair and the most gentle eyes. Generations… lifetimes of the most powerful firebenders, yet the most kind people were displayed there before him, and it was almost crazy to think that he and Hange, along with their new friends, Mike and Nanaba, were probably next in line to join that wall—a wall displaying both genuine friendship and deep loyalty to the peaceful and harmonious land the fire nation once was. Erwin smiled as he remembered his father’s words to him one night not too long ago—“Friendships really do transcend lifetimes.”

“Success!” Hange held the contraption in her hand, a mess of metal tubes swirling into a metal funnel at the end. Before he could ask what it was, Hange was dragging him by the hand and climbing out the one window in her room. “Hurry up ya slowpoke! Before my mom or Moblit hears us!”

They ran towards the small barn marking the halfway point between their houses. Hange walked along the edges of the barn to a spot in the dirt marked with a small scarf of hers. “Here! Help me dig, Erwin!” They used their hands to scoop piles of dirt out, deep enough to fit the end of the funnel under and inside the barn.

“Ok! Can you stay right here and listen to me through the pipe? Tell me how clear the sound is.” Hange ran around the corner and into the barn, and began to speak and whisper, alternating between the two. Erwin’s eyes widened in shock at the clarity—even Hange’s whispers were audible through the pipe. “How did she even manage to do this?” he thought to himself. Now they could listen clearly to their parents’ secret meetings, and he was quite excited with their new tool.

“From the look on your face, I take it that the acoustics are perfect, no?” Hange smiled deviously, and Erwin returned it. The two friends happily bumped fists. “Now we can hear about their next mission without taking turns pressing our ears against the wall!”

Ever since she and Erwin stumbled upon a meeting about a year ago, their minds became hyper-fixated on discovering their parents' work and uncovering the secrets behind it all. Since they were probably the two most dangerously curious kids of all the fire nation, it was only natural that they’d figure it all out eventually. They had spent the past year trying to listen to the group meetings in the barn, and learned all about their missions. Ridden with curiosity, the two eventually found years of hidden documents containing information on their families, kept in boxes under faulty floorboards of their homes.

When Avatar Roku mysteriously died nearly 100 years ago, his group of friends awaited their friend’s reincarnation as a child from one of the air temples. But after the fire nation attacks on the airbender monks, they feared the worst. The world began to tip out of balance, and when no avatar seemed to appear in the earth kingdom, they wondered whether the avatar was gone for good. But among Roku’s friends, hope was not lost—they passed down their stories from generation to generation, and as the fire nation grew in power, the Zoe family was the face of those defending from the inside, attempting to do what they could to restore balance. They became the crux of movement within the shadows of the fire nation, thwarting plans of conquering villages and cities of the world, keeping as many citizens and innocent people safe from fire nation soldiers’ violence. Their numbers have dwindled over the years from fighting for their cause, and most of them eventually moved into the earth kingdom colonies to help out the villages more closely, though a few stayed behind in the fire nation to continue retrieving intel from the inside and kept correspondence with any information gleaned.

Hange was quite keen on listening for more every week, confident in her desire to follow in her family’s footsteps. As much as Erwin shared Hange’s excitement, part of him was deeply concerned about Hange’s safety. Out of the families that moved out into the earth kingdom colonies, she was the only firebender in their generation, and he was afraid that she’d have to take on too much responsibility and carry the brunt of the work in order to live up to their families’ names. But they were only kids, right? He waved away his own worries—it’s not like they’d have to join in on this right away. Their parents didn’t even know that we found out about all of this yet.

-------- When the sun just began to set, the two friends snuck their way back to the barn under the calm, orange glow of the sky. They crouched down at the spot where they lodged Hange’s invention through the ground and listened in—but to their disappointment, the adults were simply chatting and enjoying each other’s company. “Booooring,” Hange sighed. “Maybe we should just call it a night, huh Erwin?” As Erwin readied himself to walk Hange home, he overheard the quiet closing of a door and a new voice sound through the pipe. They locked eyes and quickly threw themselves down to press their ears close and listen.

“Kuchel!” Hange’s mother exclaimed, and they heard the soft sound of sniffles and happy cries of the reunion.

“KUCHEL??” Hange exclaimed loudly.

“Who’s Kuchel?”

“My mom’s friend! Her best friend!” Hange clasped her hands together and jumped around in excitement. “Oh I’ve always wanted to meet her, she sounds so nice and—“

“Well, well, well, what do we have here?” Hange and Erwin spun around to see Hange’s dad staring at the two of them and eyeing their little listening device. “Eavesdropping now, are we? You might have made something where you can hear us loud and clear, but did you consider the possibility that we could hear YOU loud and clear from the other side?” Erwin and Hange nervously laughed at his words—they really did forget to consider that. He bent down to look at Hange’s creation and his facade of playing “bad cop” parent melted away quite quickly, and he turned to his daughter and chuckled. “So how did you make it?” As the two Zoe’s babbled on about the intricacies of Hange’s ideas, Erwin continued to listen into the barn.

“Oh yes, Kenny’s alright, as annoying as ever, telling me we should give up on all this and that my son and I should just move out here with all of you. But how else would we get more intel without me on the inside?”

“But you can move in with us! We can adjust. Our plans can change! Kenny’s right, it’s probably safer for you to stay here. On top of that, I’m sure your son would love to meet Erwin and Hange,” Hange’s mother answered.

“I’m sure he would. He’s very quiet and doesn’t really have any friends. But I have no doubt they’ll all meet someday.” She smiled at the thought of Levi making new friends, but her smile slowly transitioned into a concerned frown. “It might have to wait a year or two, though. I don’t know if I trust Zeke anymore...”

“Well what do you mean by that? Hasn’t Zeke proved himself to us?” Erwin’s father asked.

“I’ve seen him spend some more time with Ozai recently. I can’t put a finger on it... but I think something in him has changed. I think we may be able to trust him for now, but we’ll have to see.”

The doors of the barn slammed open, revealing Hange’s father holding Hange in one arm and Erwin in the other. “I think we found our culprits!”

Mike and Nanaba’s parents burst into laughter, while Hange’s mother and Erwin’s father darted looks of deep disapproval at their children.

Hange’s dad playfully threw the two down into the pile of hay that the horses were working on, who seemed to neigh at them in disapproval. Hange and Erwin lost themselves in a fit of giggles that simply lightened up the room from the bleak conversation about Zeke. The rest of them began to catch up again and reminisce about the “good old days” while Erwin and Hange pet and fed the horses.

A few hours later, Kuchel made her way over to them, and the two suddenly felt shy, falling quiet.

Erwin’s eyes widened in recognition as she sat close to them. “You’re the beautiful lady in the picture,” Erwin accidentally whispered loud enough for Kuchel to hear.

Kuchel laughed, “You’re Erwin, right? You’re the spitting image of your father, and from what I hear, the only person smart and strong enough to keep this one under control right?” she said as she looked over to Hange.

“What, me?” Hange questioned. “Yes, you! Come here, dear,” she waved Hange towards her and gently pulled her glasses off, and wiped them clean with her sleeve, and carefully pushed them back onto Hange’s face. “And you’re the infamous, reckless Hange Zoe, correct?” She laughed, and Hange was simply mesmerized by her kind soul and the loving twinkle in her eyes.

After warming up to each other, Hange soon begged for stories from Kuchel about how all their parents became friends and both she and Erwin eagerly listened. The three of them talked for what felt like hours, until Erwin and Hange could barely keep their eyes open, their sheer curiosity and interest in Kuchel the only thing keeping them awake enough to listen.

“So that’s the sign of you all being undercover firebenders right?” Hange asked sleepily as she pointed to the little charm peeking out from pocket of her skirt. Kuchel was startled by her question, and sighed in defeat. “Well, neither of you should know anything about this until you’re old enough, but it was silly of me to think that you two wouldn’t figure that out by now being the nosy little kids you are,” she said with a small laugh. She pulled out the charm to show them. “When the time is right, we’ll all pass them down to you. It might not be as significant now—it was once used to prove that you were one to be trusted, but now that there’s not too many of us left...” Erwin noticed the hint of sadness that showed in her eyes.

“Well, it‘s still important, something to remember who you are and where you came from. Whenever you look at it, I hope it brings you peace and reminds you that it’s our responsibility to bring back stability and light to our nation, no matter how dark it may become. But who knows, it still might be important in recognizing who is a friend or foe someday. Whoever holds one is someone you can trust—I can promise you both that.”

Hange asked, “Kuchel, will we ever get to meet your son?”

“I have no doubt you will,” she said with a smile. “Hopefully soon. I think you both would be really good influences on him.” With a yawn, Hange asked one more question.

“What’s his name?”

But before they could hear Kuchel’s answer, both of them were fast asleep. Kuchel smiled lovingly at the two. She gently pulled off Hange’s glasses, pocketed them before picking her up. She chuckled at the sound of her snores as Hange’s face leaned against her chest— “Just like her mother,” she thought and suppressed full-on laughter. She then whispered quietly into Hange ear, hoping it would somehow register in her heart, despite her being asleep. “It was a pleasure to meet you, Hange. And.... I can’t wait for you meet Levi someday. Don’t let his little scowl fool you—he has a good heart.” Kuchel beckoned Hange’s mother over to pick up Erwin. “Come on, let’s go put these two to bed.”

-------- Levi could not believe Erwin’s story. But... there was no denying the description of his own mother.

He remembered the day before his mother died, and her words that morning echoed in his mind, “Levi, did you know that some friendships are strong enough to transcend lifetimes?” He wondered if that applied here—an explanation as to why his bond with Hange ran so deep, and why he felt like he’d known Erwin, Moblit, Mike, and Nanaba for much longer than he actually did.

They had been interconnected this whole time. As much as it frustrated him that knowing this would have made their meeting 3 years ago much easier, he felt a wave of happiness fall over him, and he was absolutely overwhelmed from head to toe.

“So, you’re Kuchel’s son.” Erwin remembered her kind eyes and gentle voice, and began to laugh.

“Oi, what the hell are you laughing on about?”

Erwin continued to laugh and started to wipe tears from his eyes. “I was just thinking about how you’re just...well let’s just say I never thought Kuchel’s son would turn out to be such a small, angry man.” He laughed, along with Nanaba and Mike. Levi grumbled but couldn’t help but let out a tiny smile.

After their laughter died down, Levi let the information sink in a little along with the situation at hand. “I didn’t know you met her...” he sighed. It seems there was a lot he didn’t know, and he wished he could turn back time and ask his mother everything.

Mike asked, “What did happen to your mom anyway? I know you said she was gone but...”

“She died after she saved a child from a house fire. My uncle and I were gone training for a weekend. I was only 12 at the time,” Levi said as he stared down at the ground.

“Since you and Hange are the same age... that must mean she died around the same Zeke betrayed everyone and had fire nation soldiers kill our parents,” Nanaba said quietly.

Each of them held their parents’ charms tightly in their hands. All was silent except for the rustling of leaves in the gentle breeze and the crackle of logs from their campfire. Dusk quickly fell upon them, the glow of the moon peeking through the light cloud cover.

Erwin’s eyes softened as he looked at Levi. “Well, we got some work to do, don’t we? Hange and Moblit are in trouble—I can only imagine what Zeke wants to do with them.”

Levi looked up at Erwin, noticing a minuscule flicker of worry in his eyes. “My bet... is using an Agni Kai versus Hange as public display to destroy anymore hopes of internal rebellion.”

The other three furrowed their eyebrows at this, gritting their teeth in anger.

“And... killing the last firebending Zoe would be the ultimate symbol of crushing any hope that may be left.”

Levi stood up and looked out into the horizon, in the direction Zeke and Kenny escaped the night before. He had a good idea of where they might be, but the exact coordinates of that base was kept hidden from everyone except for high ranking officials. However, knowing Hange, he had utmost confidence that she marked a way for them to find her. They'd just have to figure that out—and soon.

Levi balled his hands into tight fists and fierce determination flickered in his eyes.

“Well, we’re not gonna let her face Zeke alone, are we?” he whispered, not taking his eyes off the horizon.

--------

As Hange’s screams grew silent, Armin breathed a sad sigh of relief—either they stopped torturing her or she finally just passed out from the pain. Either way, she at least had some respite. He looked at the thick wooden bars of their cell, cross hatched like a solid net, trapping them inside. He could only assume that at least one guard was standing watch outside the metal door about 8 feet away from their cell—the only exit point in the room. How in the world were they supposed to get out of this mess? And more importantly, why were they targeting Hange? Where were the rest of the Scouts, anyway?

He turned back towards Moblit, “Hey so... what happened? How did you get captured?”

Moblit used his sleeves to wipe at his tears, revealing his swollen eyes, filled with a terrifying swirl of anger and hopelessness. “They ambushed us, Zeke and Kenny. They set everything on fire and we didn’t stand a chance—and they told us...” He looked down, tangling his fingers in his hair anxiously, like he was trying to pry the memories out from his mind.

“Told you what?”

“That Levi led them to us, and...that he was a firebender and... that he’s Kenny’s nephew.”

Sasha and Armin’s jaws dropped at the news, and Jean looked away, as he knew Levi’s secret. He wrestled with the possibility that he might have made a mistake in trusting him. “No... there’s no way I made the wrong call,” he thought.

“I’m not sure if I believe it, though. Hange was very adamant that we should trust Levi.” Happy memories of his relationship with Levi came rushing relentlessly into his head. “No, I don’t think we should stop trusting Levi.” He paused. “After that, the next thing I knew, I woke up restrained on the komodo rhino, and then saw all of you.”

“Moblit, why did they only take you, and no one else?” Sasha asked.

“Well Hange and Levi were in Ba Sing Se that night. And I think they were just using me as bait.”

“But why not any of the others, why just you?” Armin asked. “It doesn’t make any sense. Couldn’t they have just taken Erwin since he leads the Scouts?”

Moblit sighed. “I guess I better just fess up and explain everything, right? All of this would be easier if we were just on the same page.”

He fished a small, metal keychain from his pocket, a fire nation emblem etched into it, matching the one stitched into the red tapestry behind him. He held it up for them to see.

--------

A dull pain ached against the left side of Hange’s face, the skin around her eye throbbing alongside her steady heartbeat. She felt a warm hand pressing a dressing over her left eye, and saw strands of black hair hanging over her. She blinked her right eye, confused as to why she wasn’t still in the barn back home, laying in the hay next to Erwin and Kuchel.

“K-Kuchel?” Hange croaked.

She was answered with a soft whisper, “No, I’m sorry, I’m not Kuchel. My name is Pieck.”

“Oh…” Hange sighed, wishing she could return to dreamland, back to her old, yet comforting memories.

A harsh, gruff voice sounded from the dark corner of the room, “Kuchel’s been long gone, dearie.” From the shadows, Kenny stepped out into the light next to Pieck. “My dumb sister died saving some stupid kid a long time ago.” He peered down at Hange and scoffed. “Didn’t think she’d go that way, to be honest. I thought she’d at least have gone doing the pathetic work your parents and her other friends got into.”

“…Sister?”

“Yeah, my dumb old sister. What, the genius Hange Zoe hadn’t figure it out yet?”

“Sister… then… you’re Levi’s uncle??”

He let out a chilling laugh and began clapping—pathetic applause at her realization. Kenny stepped closer and bent down, staring right into Hange’s face. “Zeke told Porco to do much worse than what he ended up doing to you. You’re lucky I happened to walk in and stop him—what kind of self-respecting uncle would let his wonderful nephew’s girlfriend suffer right in front of him?”

Hange felt her brain short-circuit at his comment. “Oh I know how my nephew works, I saw how he looked at you after your cute little group took down that fire nation camp in the forest. All of you trying to be like your parents—their work was pathetic and so are you.”

Hange tried to make sense of everything and it was difficult to concentrate against the throbbing pain in her eye, but she quickly focused on the situation at hand—no need to show him weakness at anything he decided to say to her. She wasn't sure if she could trust him, though his tone seemed genuine underneath the rough exterior. She laughed to herself--she knew how to read and communicate with Ackermans.

“Their work wasn’t stupid, you pathetic old man,” Hange retorted.

Kenny laughed. “I told my sister not to get into that business. World’s gone to shit anyway, why not just live for yourself at this point?”

Hange began seething at this response. The only reason why she didn’t burst out flames at Kenny was because she was completely disoriented to her surroundings. Sadly, she figured she’d kiss her left-sided vision goodbye. Plus, she didn’t want to injure the girl next to her, as she was clearly very kind, tending to enemy’s wounds. “Maybe if you actually joined your sister back then, you could have helped them!”

“Well maybe if they all just gave that up, none of them wouldn’t have died and left you all as orphans. Have you ever thought of that?”

She stared back at him and spat as she spoke, “Well if you’re arrogant ass is ‘living for himself’ then why the hell do you care about that, and why would you decide to lay your loyalty to Zeke?” Kenny stepped away to make sure no one was within hearing range in the corridor. He walked quickly back towards Hange and leaned down close to her face.

“Listen here, little girl. My loyalty is to no one but myself. Zeke is simply offering the best deal I’ve gotten over last few years—we’re protected among his crew, plus the money’s good. And don’t get all disrespectful now, you’re lucky I didn’t let Porco take out that other eye of yours!”

“Or maybe you did it to keep Levi safe too, you DO care about him don’t you?” Hange teased.

Kenny scowled and grumbled at her comment—Hange stifled laughter as she now knew where Levi got it from.

“You’re delusional, Zoe. You’re just like your parents.” He turned around and slammed the door behind him—the metal reverberating around the walls of the room, the force causing her sensitive eye to throb again. Hange winced in pain.

Pieck held a cold compress to Hange’s face, and she sighed in relief. “Thank you,” Hange breathed out.

“Of course.”

Hange looked curiously at Pieck—“So, why are you helping me, anyway?”

Pieck answered softly, “Hange, I know what Zeke wants to do with you. But I don’t want him to go through with it.”

Hange held back the fear in her heart. She abandoned her curiosity at Zeke's plans with herself for a second--she needed to clear up other information with Pieck first.

“Why?”

“We’ve been friends since we were kids, and… I think he’s truly lost himself. This isn’t him, and it hasn’t been him in a long time. A lot has happened, Hange, and I think you’re just unfortunately stuck in the midst of it." She peeked out the doorway for any listening ears, and sat back down, whispering to Hange.

"There are guards everywhere though, and I can’t just let you out, plus your friends are still trapped somewhere in the building, and I don’t know exactly where. All I know, is that we have a decent amount of time before Zeke returns. In the meantime, rest.”

Hange breathed a sigh of relief—she was ridiculously lucky, she thought. Her mind scrambled to put together all the information she’s gathered and started on mustering up a plan to get everyone out of here safely. But one thing was really bothering her—was being friends with Zeke enough for this girl to help her, a Zoe, a target of the fire nation? There had to be something else--could it be?

“Pieck, can I ask you one more thing?”

She nodded, inviting her to continue.

Hange nodded back, “Is there any more reason why you’re trying to help me?”

Pieck smiled—Hange was just as sharp as the rumors told. She reached into her pocket and held out a luck charm, identical to everyone else’s, the fire nation emblem shining brightly back at Hange. Hange closed her eye and laughed, feeling nothing but hope and happiness. She wondered if Levi felt the same way at this same moment--after all the events of the past few hours, she thought it'd be quite likely that Levi, Erwin, Nanaba, and Mike were likely revealing their charms to each other right around now. It was about time.

#i apologize in advance for how boring this chapter is #a lot of this is just self service lmfao #does it move the plot?#maybe?#is it mildly interesting?#possibly?#how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?#the world may never know #levihan #levihan fanfic #hange zoe #levi ackerman #hanji zoe #snk #aot

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levathia · 3 years

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(Y/N)'S BACKSTORY/EXPLANATION:

All the timeline's play at once. As you read this, people in the future continue to live their lives, wondering what people from our time used to do. It's the same for us, we were born into this time and wonder what life was like for people in the past as those people that we wonder about make history. (Y/n), first being born in the 21st century in a big mafia family, had to carry the burden of leading her father's mafia at only 17 years old. She grew close to her comrades, after losing her family, they became her new one.

It didn't last for long, as she slowly lost more and more of her brothers and sisters to their rival gang. At the age of 32, she found herself at the side of a bridge, high above the ocean. She thought she would finally be in peace after doing the deed. She thought that she would finally reunite with her family in the afterlife. But what happened was something she never actually expected would happen to her.

She was born once again. This time in the year 836 into the Yeager family. She didn't want that. She didn't want to lose anymore people close to her. In order to protect herself from going through the same hell that she did in her previous life, she decided to push everyone away.

She decided to not become close with her parents or siblings. She never made any friends and even held a cold demeanor from time to time to keep people from approaching her. Her parents never saw her smile as a baby or child. After the fall of Shiganshina, she seemed to not be affected by her mother's death, causing Eren to become upset with her a few times. Eventually, her older brother accepted her for the person she was.

(Y/n) was antisocial and she could be blunt at times. But Eren never dared to call her selfish, as she was always there to help her friends when they needed it the most. She helped take care of Armin when he had a high fever before joining the cadets, using all of the medical tactics that she learned from her last life. She helped Eren with balancing on the ODM gear and even noticed that his belt was busted. She'd remind Mikasa to take care of herself when she got distracted by looking after Eren.

She taught Eren that actions speak louder than words. Though, he thought that behind the wall she'd put between everyone and herself, was a more vulnerable side of his sister. He thought she cared. But she didn't. At least she tried not to.

Though, there was one person in particular that she couldn't help but pay more attention too. A boy with pure intentions to serve their king. He was beautiful inside and out, but you'd be damned if you found out who he was growing feelings for. The boy's name: Marco Bodt.

AU Title: Killing Machine

Big Brother! Eren Yeager AU

Marco Bodt! x Female! Reader

"But- Krista and–!"

"We know…" The instructor cut Eren off,"We've already requested for a search team to go and look for them as soon as the sun rises"

Without a word, (Y/n) walked away from the group in the direction of their cabin as her brother continued to be stubborn and argue. She didn't know at that moment, but Marco had his eyes set on her smaller figure. No, they were almost fixated. Mikasa too had her eyes on her step sister, but not in the way Marco did. If she was honest, she wished for Eren to be at least a bit more cooperative like (Y/n). Mikasa then just so happened to glance over at Marco, noticing how his eyes were on her.

It was only the cadets first year in training, yet, she was already able to tell that the two were slowly falling for each other.

"They'll have frozen by then!" Eren's voice echoed through the cold wind behind (Y/n)

"Do you want more people to die?!" She raised her voice at him, causing the brunettes breath to hitch

Just then, a strong gust of wind hit all of them. It was enough to snap Marco out of his little trance and bury his face deeper into his coat to shield himself from the harsh, cold weather. Lucky for (Y/n), though, she was already within arms reach of the door that led inside of their cozy cabin. Putting her gloved hand onto the icy door knob and twisting it, she stepped inside without looking back. Shortly after, everyone else came flooding in.

Eren was clearly too upset to speak at the time, he wanted so badly to help save their friends who were still outside and caught in the snow storm. He'd mumble about it every once in a while and eventually went back to planning their rescue.

"It's best for us to let me do it by myself. Just like our instructor said…" Eren turned around to face everyone,"We don't want anymore of us dying"

"That's exactly why I'm coming with you" Mikasa said

"Yeah, we can't just sit around here and do nothing" Armin added

'That's exactly what I'm going to do…' (Y/n) thought to herself as she sat back against the wall with her arms crossed, her gaze low as always

"What's going on here?" Reiner spoke up as he stood beside Bertholdt

"Don't you try and stop me!" Eren said stubbornly, taking a step forward

"You're, uh, going to need more gear than that…" Bertholdt said as he carried a big sack of tools over one of his shoulders

"You can't do this all on your own, or else you'll end up just like the people you're trying to save" He said

"You know what they say:'Power in numbers'."

"Well, then… I suppose we could use the help" Eren said

"Then you can count us in" Connie said, Marco and Sasha standing in his right side

"We should be just fine, the storm looks like it's lightening up a bit" Marco said

"I brought some rations just in case!" Sasha lifted the food up with the both of her hands

"Thanks, guys" Eren smiled at his friends

(Y/n) got up from her spot on the floor, she didn't want to go with them even with Marco coming along. She went to the bathroom and once she was finished, was met with Connie, Sasha and, of course, Marco.

"You coming, (Y/n)?" Connie asked

The three stood before her, yet her eyes automatically caught Marco's and his hers. She didn't respond for a second before looking over to Connie

"Y-Yeah… Yeah I'm coming"

"Great, let's meet everyone else outside" He said before turning around and making his way out of the cabin.

Marco walked right beside (Y/n) and they stepped outside right after the other two, leaving the safety of the cabin. The wind seemed to be more harsh than it was less than an hour ago, and everyone seemed to be looking at something in the distance. (Y/n) stepped up to Mikasa

"What's going on?" She asked

"We think there's been a possible avalanche" The raven hair girl answered

"Hey, someone's coming!" Sasha pointed into the distance

In the direction of her finger, (Y/n) was able to make out a small figure far away from them. A lamp that every other cadet had, accompanied them and the person looked like they were dragging something heavy from behind.

~~~~~~~~~~

It turned out to be Ymir dragging the unconscious body of Daz. And as everyone aided him inside of the cabin, (Y/n) decided to go outside to Ymir.

"Hey, where's Krista?" She asked, her voice not as monotone as usual

It seemed to surprise Ymir, given that this was actually the first time (Y/n) showed any sort of empathy. Or emotion really. It took Ymir a second to respond as she was still processing the thought of whether (Y/n) was closer to Krista than everyone thought.

"She's still finding her way here. She'll be here by sun rise, though, I know she will" Ymir answered, glancing over at the snowy mountains

"Oh, okay…" She said as she spun back around, but then stopped halfway once Ymir spoke up

"Why do you ask?"

She looked back down at Ymir

"I was just wondering…"

As she walked back to the cabin, flashbacks from the girl's previous life seemed to flood her mind. She remembered all of the emotions she felt as she slowly and painfully lost more and more of her comrades that she considered as her family to their rival. She remembered the nights she'd scream into her pillow, feeling every bit of despair life could have given her. She then imagined Ymir in her place, losing someone she seemed to care about so much. Her face didn't show it, but she didn't really like the thought of someone going through something just as bad, maybe even worse than what she went through.

She looked over in the distance, the sky slowly getting brighter and brighter as the time came closer to day.

'Krista, hurry up...' .

PLEASE READ BISSES:

These are just scenarios for the many AU's I've come up with, I am not planning on making a whole story/fanfiction of this with full chapters. I do not take requests as well💗.

#attack on titan #aot #aot x reader #marco bodt #eren yeager #mikasa ackerman #armin arlet #ymir fritz #krista lenz #connie springer #sasha blouse #fanfic #aot scenario #aot fanfiction #snk fanfiction

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harostar · 3 years

Note

How do you think of how AoT handles Anti Semitism, X Men fallacy aside. I've heard of how the reason the Eldians are so Hated was a result of reprehensible things there ancestors had done, and there religon with Ymir was sort of based on a Lie.

That would seem problematic at first glance, But I did want to learn more from someone who actually knew the series. Especially as I do know the situation in real life has complexities regarding Cycles of hate

You know, I had kind of set this Ask aside and been unsure about answering it. But I think I will give it a poke, as best as I can as someone that is one-degrees of separation from Jewish folks. So obvious disclaimer that I am approaching things from an outsider’s perspective.

The series stumbled heavily in choosing to so closely use allegories related to Nazi Germany and the Jewish people. I think a large percentage of the problem is because the Holocaust has become short-hand in public consciousness for Genocide and atrocities. Those images are scorched into the world-wide mind, and unfortunately touching on it as an allegory or using it as the basis for fictional discrimination is a very, very, very messy and difficult thing. ESPECIALLY when the creator(s) involved are not Jewish, and don’t understand the deeper aspects of Antisemitism that have been weaved into Western culture for centuries.

Isayama borrowed from European history, used a historical atrocity to create a comparison in his work. He.......made many mistakes in doing so, because it’s a messy thing to do even when you ARE familiar with how much that hatred is woven into a lot of European imagery, stories, and beliefs. A Japanese audience is probably not going to pick up on those elements, the way a Western reader might for better or worse.

I think that decision has muddled and tainted a lot of discussion around the series. Some people outright call it “Nazi Propaganda” and refuse to associate with people that read the series. I would argue that we are the audience have a lot of digest and discussion in terms of how the “Eldian Allegory” plays in comparison to the other themes of the work.

Because the series would have worked MUCH BETTER had he not made the decision to base his fictional ethnic group on a real one. It was a mistake that casts doubt on a work that focuses so much on themes so opposed to a “Nazi” or “Fascist” ideology.

The atrocities of the Eldian Empire simply being exaggerations and demonizing, not matching a simple history of neighboring groups/nations fighting each other for resources and land. The idea of Ymir as a Goddess or a witch that made a deal with the Devil both being false versions of what was simply....a girl. An ordinary girl that stumbled across something Otherworldly, and gained a power that was exploited.

The history of the series is simply about one group gaining an advantage over their neighbors. The Titans served as numerous metaphors throughout the series:

Dehumanization, especially in times of war

Gunpowder

Chemical weapons

Nuclear weapons

The largest theme that emerges particularly in the final arcs of the story are explicitly Anti-War, Anti-Imperialism, Anti-Militarism, and Pro-Humanitarian.

Hatred and Bigotry are learned, they are things that people actively have to teach their children. The most powerful counter to Hatred is simply meeting other people. Our shared humanity proves that we are more similar than we are different.

(This is beautifully illustrated in a flashback, in which the Survey Corps are infiltrating Marley. They end up meeting a group of foreign refugees, who welcome them into their camp for helping a child. Though the two groups do not speak the same language, they are able to understand each other enough to share in a communal meal and then party the night away. Even when we come from vastly different cultures and don’t speak the same language, we can find common ground. There is a simple joy in how people are people are people, no matter what differences we might have.)

In terms of the problematic elements, I would argue that Isayama did not intend anything Antisemitism about his work. In particular, he frames the allegorical Eldians as sympathetic with most of the cast coming from this group. The story centers on their plight and spends the most time in humanizing them. Ignorance rather than Malice. It taints the work, but also clashes with the major themes of the story.

Indeed, our common humanity is such an important theme. Hatred and Revenge are empty, only leading to further tragedy. Eren represents those emotions and urges taken to the extreme, and that is ultimately why he becomes the Final Villain of the series. Because he allows hatred to consume him, and loses hope in the world. He can only see “Us vs Them”, and cannot see a path forward that does not involve Genocide. It’s a tragedy that warns us about letting anger consume us, and the dangers of surrendering ourselves to Violence being unavoidable. Eren can see the Future, and therefore he is trapped with the belief that there are no other paths forward. That he must follow in the footsteps of his future self, no matter what.

It’s an ugly, tragic turn that transforms the series protagonist into a Monster. Into a world-ending monster that his loved ones must now deal with, because they have learned the lessons he did not.

The thing that separates the heroes in this story is Hope, but also a willingness to recognize the futility of revenge and hatred. As the final arcs progress, they are increasingly confronted with the option to look away from atrocities or to take revenge on people. Increasingly, they choose to take a different path.

The story of Sasha and Gabi is central in this particular theme. Sasha kills soldiers that Gabi knew, and attacked her home. But she cannot bring herself to shoot a child, even one that is clearly an enemy. Gabi is a child indoctrinated into Nationalistic, bigoted views. She kills Sasha as an enemy, but then finds her world turned on its head when she accidentally meets Sasha’s family. She’s forced to confront the reality that there are no Monsters and Devils, just ordinary people just like her that have suffered tragedies because of war.

When given the opportunity for revenge, Sasha’s father refuses. He gives the “Forest” speech, comparing his daughter’s decision to become a soldier in war to letting her go alone into the forest. He accepts her decision and the tragic outcome, but also HIS responsibility as an adult to not pass burdens of Hatred and Revenge on to the next generation. He will not punish Gabi for being a child caught up in war.

And this becomes an important moment for Gabi and for everyone else. She is not FORGIVEN for her crime, but these people make the conscious choice to spare her. Mikasa shields her from harm, Jean regrets hurting her in anger, they all make the choice to treat Gabi as a CHILD and not a soldier. To recognize their responsibility in doing better than the adults responsible for them. They were Child Soldiers, but they make the choice that the next generation SHOULD NOT be soldiers.

The series deals heavily in Trauma, especially the ways that War destroys people. The physical, mental, and emotional cost to people are heavily on display throughout the series. The cast have suffered emotional and mental injuries that will never heal, and they struggle with wanting a better world for the next generation.

Children are another big theme. We have the cast start out as children, becoming Child Soldiers, and eventually reaching Adulthood. As they become the adults, we have a new generation introduced in Gabi, Falco, Udo, Sofia, and Kaya. The series gets a little heavy-handed with how Children are the Future, and people have a responsibility to not burden them. To not force their sins upon the children, to not teach them hatred or revenge, to not use them as tools.

Zeke’s storyline contrasts with Eren’s in that each brother has reached a different conclusion about the central problem.

Zeke wants to snuff out their own future, preventing more Eldians from being born. Their lives are suffering, so the kindest thing that can be done is to kill them or prevent them from being born. Life is meaningless, because living means suffering.

Eren takes his hatred to its most extreme, deciding that to protect his “In Group” (the Island of Paradis) that he will destroy everything else. He has taken Dehumanization and Us vs Them mentality to its greatest extreme. He sees no future where people can do better. He refuses to even let them try. He has no hope, he sees only ugliness in the world.

In contrast, we have what has become the alliance. The surviving members of the Survey Corps, the surviving members of the Warriors, and an assortment of people from other nations. A motley group of people of different backgrounds, races and political alliances that are all brought together by a singular belief that the world is worth saving. That it shouldn’t be a Zero Sum game.

That the world is very cruel, but also very beautiful.

Hatred, cruelty, selfishness, greed, militarism, nationalism, imperialism, racism, and bigotry have led the world towards possible destruction. The Rumbling as a metaphor for Nuclear War, humanity destroying itself because it cannot look for a path besides violence.

The pure Destructive urge that is Eren, contrasted against the other two parts of that Golden Trio.

Mikasa, the girl that was saved by a single act of kindness. The strongest of all, but also so very kind. A girl that has seen the ugliness of the world, but also the goodness in it.

Armin, the boy with a dream. The intellectual that once asked if it was necessary to abandon your humanity to win, but has realized that our shared humanity is more important. The one filled with hope, even in the darkest moments.

And of course into this, we have Falco Grice. The boy that embodies the central themes of the story: a child soldier that has seen the worst of humanity, and has decided the best way to fight is by being Kind.

#aot #snk #discourse #antisemitism mention

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linkspooky · 5 years

Text

Eren is a Crying Child

Ymir in this chapter serves as a parallel for not only both Historia and Mikasa, but also Eren as well. The reason Eren personally reaches out to Ymir so deeply is not because Eren is Ymir’s savior, but because Eren is Ymir. When Ymir stops hiding her eyes and expression and reveals her true face, it’s important to see her for what she is: a crying child.

Which is what the framing of this chapter establishes, that Eren is not a great liberator. He’s not a badass. He’s someone deeply traumatized. His want to destroy the world isn’t about idelogy, he’s lashing out. Eren’s not being strong to become the hero who saves the world, he’s using the idea of his strength to deny his grief and any vulnerable emotion he can show because he thinks that he is not allowed to be weak. Eren tells Ymir that she is a human because those are the words that he most wants to hear. I’ll explain more under the cut.

1. The Cycle of Grief

Eren is fundamentally, down to his core, a child unable to cry or feel his own emotions. Because he believes he has no right to feel those emotions. That he has to push those emotions aside and be strong and fight back against the world at all times or he’ll lose everything. In growing up into someone strong, and forcing himself to always fight back against the world, he has lost a fundamental part of himself that Ymir represents, the child who just wants to cry. Eren is Ymir he is at the same time, crying and making an angry face because he feels so much towards a world that’s continually taken, and taken, and taken from him.

There’s a clear difference between the external goal which Eren does acknowledge, and the internal goal which Eren does not acknowledge. What Eren says he wants is liberation for the world around him, but what Eren seeks inside is his own liberation from the burdens that he’s put on himself.

Eren’s own internal conflict is a parallel for the conflict of the world at large, continually caught in the cycle of war and abuse that seems unending. Eren is also, constantly dealing with grief and loss that he is unable to resolve in any healthy manner of get closer on. Which is why his primary fear is the loss of his friends in the first place, because he cannot handle those feelings at all.

What Eren wants is peace, security, people who love him for who he is weak or strong, the things he had when Carla was still alive. But, he believes he can find those things in fighting. He wants the ability to see an end to the fighting, but Eren is so unable to comprehend something past that he thinks his own salvation is something as extreme as just destroying every single person who could ever fight against him to end the fighting permanently. Because Eren can’t properly see an end to fighting, without more fighting. So even if Eren is right that you do have to fight back, he’s also wrong because fighting back is the only thing Eren knows how to do.

Remember this is also literature, where parallels like that can be made. Eren’s fight against the world is simulatenously a fight against himself. Two classical conflcits, man vs society, man vs self.

Eren “being a badass” is most often him getting angry, and yelling to deny any kind of feelings of grief of remorse he might have, because in a way his mindset is too fragile to process any of those emotions. Yes, he does feel them, he’s obviously upset when his actions lead him to doing things he does not want to do like imprisoning his friends, and killing innocents in war but rather than handle those emotions he pushes them deep down and represses them. Eren is so “strong”, and yet he cannot handle any kind of show of weakness.

In terms of human psychology, Eren represents the grief cycle if he were permanently stuck in stage two, anger. Eren unable to even feel, feelings of loss denies them and gets angry and never once moves past that stage. It’s important to remember where Eren’s character is inspired from.

He’s not an action hero, he’s Shinji Ikari. It’s the same concept, a child is used by a world of adults because he has a special power that enables him to fight back, and he desperately searches for agency despite being stuck in a conflict that he was born into, and a system that continually exploits him as a tool for fighting rather than treating him as a human being.

He has a father who ultimately chooses to keep him distant and not tell him anything in the end (Grisha / Gendo), a mother who is the symbol to him of all the love in the world that he is unable to meaningfully receive ( Carla / Jaeger). The fundamental similiarity between Shinji and Eren even though one is passive (Shinji) and the other is active trying to steal away any meaningful agency and power away he can from the world (Eren) is at their core they are the same, both of them are fundamentally unable to handle this grief in a healthy way and thus they are incapable of meaningfully growing into fully rounded people. Shinji is permanently stuck in stage 3 depression and detachment, and Eren is stuck in stage 2 Anger, and yes Eren’s shows of strength, his anger at the world, his burning resentment and desperate fights for freedom may look cooler but they are fundamentally the same.

There’s no quote from End of Evangelion that better serves as a summary of what Eren says to Ymir in this chapter than this quote too, except, he is missing the second part.

Which is why Eren is ultimately wrong, and has to be wrong. In fighting the ugliness of the world he’s completely forgotten about the beauty. On one hand what Eren says to Ymir is good and right. She deserves to be angry about the world. She deserves to resent the people who have mistreated her. Her emotions, even the negative ones are all valid. She’s still a person after all this time, and her emotions are her own, even if they’re ugly, even if they’re vengeful, even if they’re destructive.

But at the same time Eren has a chance to show a little girl what’s beautiful about the world that’s completely mistreated her, and he tells her to destroy it instead.

Because Eren himself does not know any step in that cycle beyond anger. He does not know any response beyond getting angry at how the world has treated him. He lashes out, but he never has any meaningful closure, or any relief. Eren’s missing out on an oppurtunity to comfort a little girl because he’s lost all sense of comfort for himself.

That’s why Connie interprets what was Eren’s grief stricken face at Sasha’s death at laughter, because for Eren he’s pushed his emotions so far down now he can’t even cry properly when somebody he deeply cared about has died. This is not Eren being strong, it’s him coping terribly. The reason we’re kept out of Eren’s head, why we can’t see his own point of view is because Eren himself is restricting his point of view from the audience. He lies to his friends. He lies to himself. He goes that far, just to deny that what he feels inside isn’t just anger, but also sadness at the world, a want for comfort, etc. etc.

Eren’s feelings for wanting to lash out are completely valid. There’s basically no way to process that insane amount of grief without lashing out. My point is, Eren conceives of no step beyond lashing out, except to such an extreme that if he destroys everything he will somehow make the feelings go away.

He’s not being strong, he’s continually teetering on the brink of suicide because he’s completely forgotten about all of the beautiful things in life and what makes it worth living due to his decision to focus only on the fighting. In the same chapter we see Eren talk about the beauty of always moving forward, we also see the ugly side to it.

The same ideology that Eren must always keep moving forward, is also what drives Reiner to the brink of suicide. Reiner’s not a strong soldier like he pretends to be who fights to the end, he’s a deeply suicidal person who is desperately looking for some reason to live, to keep going.

But what continually pulls Reiner back isn’t the fighting itself, which is what Eren seems to think it is, that his solution lies somewhere in the conflict that he continually throws himself into. It’s the children. The eldian children that surround Reiner and Reiner feels responsible for, the one he wants to save from this conflict, the future that he himself does not have. Which is why Eren killing children is so thematically important, because Eren himself does not see that future.

Eren and Reiner are foils. While Reiner is clearly projecting here and telling Eren that the best thing for them is just to die already, to go to sleep, that that’s the only peace they can achieve in their life. If Reiner feels that way then it’s likely Eren is equally as suicidal as Reiner is. It’s just Eren has an objective that he has to complete, and that’s what is keeping him alive, and keeping him strong.

Also, the point once again Eren has never once beaten Reiner in the series. He lost to him several times over, and the reason why is because Reiner and Eren are the same. They both fight back against the world by denying that they are people and instead trying to conform themselves to some idea, Eren tries to become the ideal of freedom, and Reiner tries to become the ideal soldier. Eren cannot defeat Reiner because he is not any better than Reiner. Hence why, the one to defeat Reiner here is not Eren’s show of determination and strength, but rather his connection to Zeke.

The beauty of connection in a world that Eren only wants to destroy now. Which is exactly the point what Eren seeks is a release. He views the destruction of everything as a release for him, the peace he thinks he can never achieve in life through any other means. It’s the same suicidal mentality that Reiner has, it’s just a double suicide with the world. Eren would rather die a villain hated by the whole world, then try to live as a person with feelings.

Which is why Eren cannot save anyone in a meaningful way right now. He’s given the chance to empathize with Reiner, he’s given the chance to empathize with Zeke, he understands those ideas in his head and that other people have different point of views but ultimately he rejects it in favor of falling back on conflict, because conflict is all he knows. He’s afraid that if he mourns for even a second he’ll break down like Reiner and start begging for death. He sees that as his only two options, either die and be destroyed by the world, or keep moving forward and destroy the world.

2. Eren and Historia - Lashing Out

Lashing out is a part of the cycle of grief. You have to feel your emotions in some way, even if it’s selfish, even if it’s ugly, those emotions are always going to come out no matter how much you repress them. You are ultimately a person with your own emotions even if you deny that. However, if you just lash out with no meaningful resolution, then it’s easy to believe you’ve somehow cleared those emotions out and then just go back to letting them pile up again.

The parallel to Historia is right there. Life is not something that can be lived entirely for the sake of others. Historia is a character who repressed herself entirely, and tried to live completely as a good girl. She was so obsessed with being seen by others, she denied any selfish feelings that she might have. She denied herself as a person and tried to live up to an ideal instead.

Historia imitated the only person who showed her any kind of love, because she thought that was what others wanted from her. Nobody loved HIstoria Reiss the girl, nobody saw her as a person.

Eren udnerstands her because his method of coping is exactly the same. They both deny who they are as people, because so much of their identity is made up of the people around them, they love so deeply that they canont stand to lose them. Historia, and Eren both lost everybody so suddenly in their lives that they’ve never learned to process those feelings of loss.

Historia says it outright, when Ymir the one person who treats her as a person disappeared then Historia completely lost her identity and her sense of what she wants in the world, because she was depending on Ymir for those things and could not find it in herself.

Historia does not have a strong enough sense of self identity to know what she wants. She is like Eren, always putting on masks, always denying herself, and very conscious of the way she appears to others. Which is why Eren does the same thing, but Historia never quite catches onto that. The Eren whose always shouting about wanting to kill all the titans, he’s a fake. That was as fake as Historia’s good girl persona, but Historia herself does not quite understand that.

Eren full of insecurity and doubt, because he knows he’s still that kid who could not do a single thing in front of the titan that killed his mother, he knows he’s still that crying child and he can’t change who he is no matter how hard he tries. Reiner is the person who sees that. Historia fails to make that connection even when Eren sees that connection himself.

Which is why he also tells Historia the thing that he also wants to hear. That it’s alright for him to be normal. Yes, Eren does accept that he’s a normal person in this arc, but he also BACKSLIDES which is a thing in character arcs.

Historia herself is a character who goes through extreme bouts of selflessness followed by extreme bouts of selfishness. That’s what repression does, the more that she puts away her own selfish feelings and tries to live thinking only of others, the more she gets taken advantage of and used, the more those feelings of hurt and resentment pile up. It’s impossible for them not to.

Which is why what she says in this scene is both good and bad. Historia has to lash out because those feelings have to go somwhere, the problem is that after this scene Historia never makes any meaningful change on those feelings.

What Historia wants isn’t ultimately to be a good girl, or god, or even to be the enemy of the world because all three of those are roles to play not being a person. But they are fundamentally stuck in a system that denies who they are as people, and to cope with it Eren and Historia both deny themselves, and it’s a bad habit they fall back on.

Eren cannot save Historia, because Eren himself does not know the step beyond lashing out. He succesfully encouraged her to lash out, but in the most recent arc we see Eren and Historia despite all they have learned falling back on their old patterns. Historia lets herself be used by others as the queen and becomes entirely passive, Eren puts back on his facade that he’s confident and repeats what he said when he was younger to keep him move forward, but instead of destroy all the titans it’s not destroy all of mankind except for us.

Lashing out is soemthing necessary, but it doesn’t solve the problem ultimately. Historia, and Eren are two people who will ultimately backslide into where they find their identity, Historia finds it in living of service to others, and Eren finds it in conflict and war.

3. Eren and Mikasa - The world is Ugly and Beautiful

Once again returning to Mikasa’s lesson, the central theme of the series. That life is relentlessly cruel, but also it is something worth living. That is why there are always two sides of the coin, ugliness and beauty, why everything is far more complicated than simple black and white.

In this scene, Eren encourages Mikasa to fight and that’s important because otherwise they would have died, but lashing out is not the only thing that exists in this scene. Which is why both Eren and MIkasa are having problems remembering it in the future.

Mikasa focuses far too much on the scene afterwards because Eren wrapped the scarf around her. She wants to remember the beauty of the memory, the love she was shown, and not the violence. Because paralleling Historia, if Historia lives for other people, then Mikasa lives for one person which is Eren. Because she ignores her own individual will to live which was always there and is wrapped around the idea that living is living for Eren.

Which is why Mikasa is confronted with Eren’s violence, because it’s something she ignores. She wants to focus on the beautiful parts of Eren without looking at the ugly, and that causes her to idealize him and not see him as his own fully person. Which is Isayama’s point, it’s not one or the other, it’s both you have to understand.

Whereas, Eren himself does the opposite of MIkasa even though it’s a moment they shared together. He forgets the moment that he wrapped the scarf around Mikasa, the moment of resolution and connection afterwards because he thinks what saved her is the violence. He has also forgotten that she needed both, both the violent liberation and the lashing out to affirm her own feelings, but also the connection to another person and the comfort afterwards. Which is why we see Eren give such a meaningful glance at the part of the scene he’s forgotten.

The point being that Mikasa herself is unattaching herself from Eren, and coming along to a much more nuanced version of her feelings towards him due to their confrontation.

So we see the parallel to this scene. Eren liberates a little girl from slavers the same way he did with Mikasa so long ago in the past, and it’s a direct parallel because we are also reminded of this scene again one chapter ago.

However, unlike back then Eren offers her no comfort or connection. He encourages her to lash out with nothing else. He’s seen a girl miserable her whole life and instead of trying to comfort her in any way, he tells her to strike back against the world because that’s all Eren understands anymore.

Once again we see the parallel in how Eren and Zeke treat , but it’s important to remember that Eren is just as bad as Zeke. What they want amounts to the same thing, the complete destruction of a group of people. It’s also important to remember that Zeke and Eren are both themselves, completely unable to see themselves as people.

Zeke was raised as a child soldier, and he was only given birth to in the first place because he was meant to be used in another person’s plan to liberate the Eldians. No matter how he sees himself, either as the one who kills all of the Eldians, or doing what his father wanted him to do and liberate them, he is ultimately never seen as a person. Zeke cannot see Ymir as a person, because Zeke himself is fundamentally unable to see himself as a person. He’s never been treated as one, and in this moment he’s desperate because the father he wanted to acknowledge him finally said he was his own person only to task him with stopping Eren. Eren is just as bad as Zeke. Eren lost his mother, and his home, sense of security for three years and Eren’s way to deal with that was to do what Grisha did to Zeke, to himself. He denied he was a person in any way in order to deny the feelings of grief that came with the idea that he could lose everything at any moment, as suddenly and violently as he did with Carla. Eren too, is just like Ymir someone who feels like he’s never been free once in his life and therefore his only act of freedom comes in his decision to lash out against everything.

Eren sees himself in Ymir, someone fundamentally unable to be a person because of the sense of responsibility they have towards the world. That is why what he tells Ymir is something he utlimately wants to hear, that she is a person, that she does not belong to anyone.

But, Eren is the same as Zeke. That prevents him from truly sympathizing or saying anything affirming of life towards Ymir. Remember, Ymir is someone who was used and abused as a child. Eren thinks it’s perfectly okay to kill children and use them in that way if you get the end result you want, or at least he’s justified that to himself. He’s telling one girl the way the world treated her was wrong, when he himself has broken children in order to get what he wants.

Eren offers her the right to choose, but it’s very clearly a don’t do what my brother wants you to do, do what I want you to do instead. He says she’s free to choose, but he clearly wants to use her power to lash out against the world

He doesn’t ask her what she wants, he just gives her an alternative. Which is why a beautiful scene of Eren empathizing with a little girl and telling her she does not have to serve others, she has her own emotions, and she’s allowed to be angry at the world for how it ultiamtely mistreated her is also ugly.

Because Eren’s idea of liberation ultimately is just chains under a different name. He’s stuck in a cycle of lashing out in grief that he cannot escape from, nor can he help others get out of. He’s chained to his own emotions of anger, and hatred, because he ultimately is unwilling to let go of them and admit that he’s just like Ymir. That he’s that crying child too.

Eren can keep fighting, but he can’t overcome, and he can’t find any comfort in the world anymore, only more violence. Which is why Eren ultimately can’t save that little girl, only use her in the same way others have used her, use her power to destroy the people he wants to destroy. He an’t show her what is beautiful about the world the same way that he did to Mikasa once. He cannot reach out a hand to her.

Nobody wants me, they can all just die. Then what is your hand for, Eren?

#snk 122 #aot meta #meta #eren jaeger #ymir fritz #historia reiss #Mikasa Ackerman

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metamorphosesrp · 3 years

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THE ROTH FAMILY

Based on the series Succession, this is a request for THE ROTHS, the family behind the shadowy MORPHOS CORP. If the Impact of 1999 is the blood in the water, then the Roth family are the sharks that followed. Arriving from Washington D.C. for the feast, they established the Genesis research facility in 2000 and have been using it for the last 21 years to explore the depths of the Novum Stretch as well as to conduct top secret experiments on how the Stretch affects plants, animals, and people.

Their company, Morphos Corp, was originally established in 1971 by family patriarch Charles Roth. Since its inception, Morphos has had a diverse portfolio dealing in government contracting (military, weapons, security) and pharmaceuticals. Their research on the Stretch is their latest power grab, as they secretly seek to monetize/weaponize their findings. Click here for more on the Morphos subplot.

The TL;DR of them is this: they’re rich, they’re ruthless, and they won’t leave until they get what they’ve come for. Even as the Backburns’ and town hall’s disdain for them grows, Arkney and Bellmore have become severely dependent on the money, jobs, and prestige Morphos and the Roths have brought to the area, and the Roths know and leverage this. The patriarch has dictated that each of his children fan out and insinuate themselves in different parts of Arkney and Bellmore society to increase the family’s presence and hold on the area.

If you’re interested in playing any of the available roles in this request, please reach out to any of the admins on Discord, once our server is open! Note that it is not necessary to have seen the show to participate, though it’s highly recommended for the vibes! See the group pin board for even more vibes.

Full blurbs for the roles can be found below!

THE LOGAN Charles Roth, 80 Written by Mady

THE LOGAN is no other than the founder and CEO of Morphos, Charles Roth. Charles may have come from some relative privilege but he has taken whatever wealth he was born with and tripped it, then did it again and again. After joining the military, he started his own business, Morphos.. The Morphos corporation has grown and with it his own, and the Roths at large, prominence. He is a ruthless man, cruel when necessary, manipulative, clever and driven above all else. He puts his business and family name above all else and is willing to kill for what he wants. Not the forgiving type, he's a formidable father, boss and possessive leader of the Roth family.

FC: Donald Sutherland

THE MARCIA 50-70 Reserved for Hobie

Third wife of Charles Roth, THE MARCIA is not to be underestimated. Having gained her own wealth in pharmaceuticals, she and Charles met through business and they were attracted to one another's power, wealth, and intelligence. MARCIA is unsympathetic, and at times antagonist, with Charles' children. Appreciating a man that has worked for what he has, she thinks of his adult children as spoiled, ungrateful, leeches on their father's hard earned legacy. The two have been married for ten years and she's fiercely loyal but more than capable of looking out for herself in this nest of vipers.

FC: Charlotte Rampling

THE CONNOR 42-50 Open

While the oldest of the four Roth siblings, THE CONNER doesn’t exactly act like it. He’s prone to frequent flights of fancy and, though he thinks himself highly effective, he mostly is anything but. He has the least influence on family and company dealings and occasionally has to be asked to cease and desist for the sake of preserving the Roth’s and Morphos’ reputation. THE CONNER is also Charles’ son from his first marriage and, as such, does not share a mother with his younger brothers and sister. What he’s doing now (read: his next big likely-to-be-doomed venture) is up to the player.

Suggested FCs: Alexander Skarsgård (pictured), Michael Shannon, Jon Hamm, Hugh Dancy, Bill Hader, Matt Bomer

THE KENDALL Jasper Roth, 40 Written by Vive

As THE KENDALL, Jasper is the hapless, over-achieving, by-the-books second son who once had Big Dreams™ of taking over as Morphos’ CEO upon his father’s retirement. However, that all went out the window five months ago when he found his then-lover was using him to get kompromat on the company and Jasper went to his dad for “help” (read: because of this, his then-lover was killed). His guilt, shame, heartbreak, and captivity to Charles’ whims has turned him into an increasingly run-down version of his former golden boy self, and he has been coping with a return to drug use.

FC: Daniel Brühl

THE ROMAN Remy Roth, 35 Written by Grim

As THE ROMAN, Remy has had a nice life coasting off of his family's name and their overall success. Spending a lot of his time partying, schmoozing, and generally just testing people's nerves with his sass, the time has come for him to pull his weight for once. Remy's easy-going nature is nothing when compared to his work ethic, a hidden gem that has driven him to impressive social heights. So now he's learning he's much more than just the family name and is working on 'coolifying' the town, in his eldest brother's words. A entrepreneur and restaurateur, he's already established a local brunch eatery and is working on starting a nightclub to breathe some real fun into an otherwise dismal town.

FC: Daniel Radcliffe

THE SHIV Anthea Roth, 33 Written by Lina

The youngest of the four siblings but, arguably, the most put-together and capable one. THE SHIV has always had a hand grasping her father's sleeve, seeking his approval and admiration at the cost of her own independence. She's swallowed down dreams of travel and creative exploration in favor of being the Good Girl, and she's chiseled down her softness to a sharp point; twisting her empathy into a tool for finding weak spots in her opposition. Engaged to THE TOM but she chose him with her family in mind rather than her own heart. Commitment is hard without real attachment and she's seeing someone else, someone local, on the side.

She once worked for Morphos but has recently carved out a piece of the Town Hall, working as a Communications Advisor for the Mayor's Office. She handles their optics and engagements with the towns – all behind-the-scenes, of course. THE LOGAN expects her to report back and keep him apprised of the inner workings of local politics, and she's happy to do so.

FC: Elizabeth Debicki

THE TOM 30-35 Open

Appearances have always mattered to THE TOM — how he feels about himself is refracted in how others perceive him. He's caught up in the heights of wealth and status, believing that it's the secret to a good life. He comes from an upper class background, not anywhere close to Roth-level affluence but enough to be disconnected from the “real world”. Engaged to THE SHIV and while he loves her, that love is compounded with greed, insecurity and desperation. Often lashes out at those “under” him, like COUSIN GREG, to assert himself and take back control. He has secured a position on the Morphos PR & Legal team, some would say through special treatment and they certainly aren’t wrong. Up to you if he’s fit for the job, or if he’s coasting by on his fiancées name.

Suggested FCs: Trevante Rhodes (pictured), Jon Kortajarena, Alfonso Herrera, Ben Barnes, Aldis Hodge, Manny Montana

THE COUSIN GREG 21-27 Open

The COUSIN GREG is the son of Charles Roth’s estranged sister. Very much green in all regards, they have (clumsily) insinuated themselves in the family’s business to secure a job and have been #trying to do what they must to keep that job. At first glance, COUSIN GREG isn’t much—they are naive, overly optimistic, and do not share the family’s ruthless instincts. However, they are not to be underestimated, as they are in fact listening, learning, and biding their time to make their own moves. Is basically the glorified assistant to THE TOM.

Gender is open and character can be biracial.

Suggested FCs: Charles Melton (pictured), Zazie Beetz, Jordan Fisher, Sasha Lane, Sean Teale, Laura Harrier, Xavier Dolan, Noami Scott, Gavin Leatherwood, Ashley Moore

THE GERRI 55-65 Open

THE GERRI has been working for the Roths for several decades and is currently serving as Morphos’ Director of PR & Legal. They are very much loyal to Charles Roth and the company, and work as his general counsel on all matters of decision-making. Loyalty aside, however, THE GERRI has been around the block and knows how the game works. They are not above making their own allegiances with those that suit their purposes and are astute in hedging their bets to ensure they land on the winning side no matter what. Vaguely a warped parent-ish figure to the Roth children, with some wine aunt vibes.

Suggested FCs: Viola Davis (pictured), Carla Gugino, Angela Bassett, Salma Hayek, Marisa Tomei, Monica Bellucci, Demi Moore

THE RAVA 34-40 Open

THE RAVA is married to THE KENDALL and has been around the family for several years. Though she loves and cares about Jasper and vice versa, their marriage has largely become one of convenience. Beyond this, the details of her life are open and discussable with Jasper’s player (vive). They could be separated or approaching divorce, she could be cool with his affair or not or not know, they could have kids that she mostly raises or not, etc.

Suggested FCs: Oona Chaplin (pictured), Sofia Boutella, Hannah John-Kamen, Alexa Davalos

#morphosrp #dev

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c-is-for-circinate · 4 years

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Who wants a little Cinderbrush AU on this quarantine evening?

A while ago, @brightandshinynewstories and I were chatting about what would happen if the Cinderbrush four lived in Exandria (and also relatedly, if the M9 were Monsterhearts characters, but that is a digression y’all should take up with her). We figured it would start, at least, a little like this:

There’s a phrase Sasha's history tutor used once, when she was thirteen or fourteen and didn’t have a way to stop her parents hiring all her tutors and arranging her schedule for her. Her history tutor was a stuttery little halfling man fresh out of Vasselheim, and half of what he said was deadly boring, but he was less brutally awful than her etiquette and protocol tutor, which was probably why he got fired before she turned fifteen. That one conversation, though, has stuck with her for all these years.

“Everyone thinks they live at the end of history,” he’d said. They’d been talking about the end of the reign of Uriel Tal’dorei at the time, how his decision to abdicate five minutes before he unexpectedly died in a massive dragon attack hadn’t accomplished much of anything except for making life massively difficult for his son fifteen years later. “This is it, the final form of the world. All the aeons of existence have led up to this moment right now, and finally we’re living in the future.”

“Isn’t everybody always living at the end of history, then?” Sasha had asked. “If you look at it that way?”

“Not...not quite,” Kempler had stammered, a little off-balance the way he always was when she asked questions she actually wanted to know the answers to. “Usually it means more like..the idea that everything, societal structures, social mores, everything has fallen into place in such a way that it doesn’t need to change any more. Does that make sense?”

“Of course,” Sasha had said, and let him go on talking about dragons and heroes and the politics of non-existent emperors and kings. She’d thought about it all afternoon.

This isn’t quite the end of history, Sasha figures now, half a dozen years later. If it were, there’d be a better way to work her way up in the government of Emon besides playing personal aide to Arbiter Ethna for the next ten years in hopes of getting appointed to a magistrate’s position someday. Some kind of school for barristers and politicians, at least, instead of everything coming down to her parents’ names and polite tolerance for her existence. Her advancement wouldn’t depend so much on this awkward noble apprenticeship system where she’s more tied to Ethna’s reputation than her own skills.

It’s got to be getting pretty close, though. It’s 853 PD. Emon’s a miracle of government and engineering. Uriel Tal’dorei’s been dead for forty years, there haven’t been dragons around to ravage anything since Sasha’s parents were children, and every day law, order, and the modern age prove a little more how they triumph over chaos.

It’s good to live at this end of history, Sasha tends to think. There’s just enough still to do in the world to give her a chance to do something really special about it. Just enough wiggle room left to let her...bend the rules. Just a little.

Nobody says arbiters and politicians can’t have a little magic on their side to...smooth things along, just a little. Nobody says aides like Sasha can’t spend their free time however they like. Nobody tells Sir Murasaki’s daughter she can’t go where she wants, besides Sir Murasaki himself. If she likes to sit auditing classes in the back of the room at the Alabaster Lyceum--if she happens to enjoy practicing classical violin or running vocal exercises in her tiny little office behind Arbiter Ethna’s courtroom--well. The bardic arts might be a relic of the past, when people had to go out slaying monsters and dealing with dragons every other day, but history hasn’t quite left them useless yet. Anything can be a tool if you’re clever and charming enough to use it right.

Living at very-nearly-the-end of history might be the best tool there is. The best thing about it, Sasha thinks, is the chance to make sure she’s the one who decides how it ends.

Sasha told Cam about her end-of-history theory once, some starlit evening on the rooftop balcony of his parents’ townhouse, looking out over the sparkling lights of the Cloudtop District and enjoying the quiet. He’s not sure he’s smart enough to really understand it, but that’s Sasha for you. There’s a reason she’s going to be on the Tal’Dorei Council someday, while Cam’s going to be...whatever Cam’s going to be, by then.

Probably running the family business, one way or another, if his dad hasn’t actually killed him instead of letting him inherit. It’s basically fine, as life plans go. Parts of it don’t suck. That’s something.

It’s why everyone was so in favor of him courting around with Sasha in the first place, anyway. The Murasakis are nobility and all, but they’re from some island in the middle of the Lucidian Ocean on the other side of Exandria. The Solomons were nobodies, until they just happened to own the only still-operating stone quarry in a hundred miles in the wake of the destruction of Emon forty years ago. Sasha’s parents have influence, Cam’s have money. Even Cam knows putting that combination together is a recipe for power.

Real power, probably, not the magic kind. Fewer rules. Fewer restrictions. Fewer demons, whispering in the back of your ear when you’re trying to sleep.

If this is really the perfect future that everything’s always been trying to lead to, then shouldn’t they have wizard magic or some shit that would just get the stone out of the ground without needing miners and overseers and crap like that? And then, like, nobody would send some stupid human kid with no darkvision into the back end of the quarry just because he’s the boss’s son and some fucker thinks he needs to be hazed for “company morale” or whatever. Just for example.

So maybe the world’s not getting better, it’s just that the bullshit that piles up a little deeper every year has just about reached a critical maximum. That’s fine. No wonder Sasha’s looking forward to the future so much, gets along with the world so well. He used to watch her weave her own web of total crap every time she worked a room, catching eyes and shaking hands and making everybody fall in love with her as soon as they met. It’s kind of the most impressive thing Cam’s ever seen. He kind of hates her for it, right at this moment.

Cam’s just not built for that much shit. He's charming, sure, people trust him, people like him, but he can’t talk his way out of any- and everything like Sasha can. Probably that’s a nobility thing. The Solomons aren’t nobility, everybody knows that, especially Cam’s dad, and he’s never let Cam forget it for two seconds in a row his whole life, so right, no wonder Cam’s useless in Sasha’s kind of world. No wonder he lets himself get into such shitty situations sometimes. No wonder he can’t get Anukirai to leave him--to leave Sasha--alone.

If that’s what he wants. Which--it is, of course, it should be, it has to be, it’s just. Hard, sometimes, when Cam’s father decides if he can’t be the normal born kind of nobility, he’d better just prove he’s the High Lord of All Assholes. When Cam’s trying not to be the kind of guy who just up and punches his problems in the face. When Anukirai starts making promises, and Cam--when Cam can feel the power behind them, the weight of thousands of years of lurking underground, lying in wait, full of so much more patience than Cam’s ever had himself.

He’s pretty sure he could Command his dad to do just about anything, once. Just once. So far he hasn’t tried.

The worst thing about living this close to the end of history, Cam knows for damn sure, is feeling the weight of all of it crushing down on top of you all the time.

Jamie’s heard about it, too, somewhere along the way. Lunch with Sasha at the Lyceum is always interesting, one way or another.

It’s bullshit, of course, but it’s the sort of bullshit that always appeals to people like Sasha. As though there are other people in the world like Sasha Murasaki. Things don’t end, they just die occasionally, and leave stinking corpses of whatever they used to be there to entertain passers-by. Witness the inside of poor Cameron Solomon’s head these days after that particular breakup, case in point.

But of course it’s enticing to picture the world as just half a step short of perfection, all the for pretty, perfect people who think they might just be that last piece of perfection Exandria’s waiting for. That, at least, isn’t exactly an uncommon attitude around the Alabaster Lyceum. Everybody thinks they’re going to be the next Allura Vysoren, or whoever it is they’re all idolizing these days. Everybody thinks they need just that little bit of extra edge to get there.

Jamie’s done with that particular race, which doesn’t mean they can’t enjoy spectating it. There’s a lot of benefits that come from staying enrolled as a student of the arcane arts at the Alabaster Lyceum of Emon. Greg Wrenly keeps paying tuition, room, and board, for one. There’s a handful of cantrips and a couple of halfway decent wizard spells in Jamie’s back pocket now, too, which is never a bad thing. It’s always good to have options.

For instance: now the desperate, overachieving would-be wizards of the Lyceum don’t have to fight their way through years of arduous study and spend enormous reserves of magical energy to cast True Seeing. A little bit of druidcraft, a couple of exactly the right mushrooms, and for a handful of gold coins Jamie can provide a direct line of sight to the Ethereal Plane with negligible side effects to follow. Options. They’re practically a public service.

Jamie prefers to keep as many options open as possible; gods know nobody in this fucking city seem to realize they have any. That’s what needing to be the best will do to you. If a quarter of their classmates realized how much power the average archdruid has at their command, there’d be a mass exodus of ex-arcanists desperate to be the next fucking Voice of the Tempest, every one of them desperate to live up to thousands of years of legends and heroes and complete fairytales. Every single one of them would miss the entire point.

Jamie doesn’t need to be the best. They just need to maintain their own, extremely specific skill set, market it in the right way to the right people, and not get caught up in everyone else’s everything. Stay a minimum safe distance away from Sasha. Enjoy Cam’s company without getting too invested in the pretty and the trauma. Enough wizardry to mess with peoples’ heads and not be too bound to the whims of nature, enough druidry to keep in good supply and not be too bound to some fucking hand-scribed spellbook. Enough alchemy to keep in business. Enough business to make sure they don’t completely lose touch with reality, the way so many mages tend to do.

Of course it’s not exactly traditional, or historical, or Respectful of the Great Arts, or whatever the fucking line is. What the hell would be the point of that?

The best thing about living on this end of history, whatever the fuck that means to anyone, is getting to pick and choose exactly which parts of it you want to keep.

Aff gets the whole history thing in pieces, in passing at first, but it makes more sense the more they think about it. You can learn a lot slinging pints of ale in your dad’s tavern on a regular old Grissen weeknight.

It’s not like they’re friends with Sasha Murasaki of all people. Aff hadn’t even known who she was until Amanda from the livery stable down the street explained it, and apparently there’s an actual member of a titled noble family on her way up the ranks in the Watchful Hall who comes out to Aff’s dad’s tavern, like, a lot, which is just crazy. It’s just that sometimes when Sasha’s waiting for somebody, or she and her trio of Emon’s Who’s Who are bored or whatever, they invite Aff to sit down and talk for a while. Cameron Solomon’s... whatever, he’s cool, Aff’s mom doesn’t live too far from his dad’s mine these days, so maybe they’d helped him out while he was puking in an alleyway once or twice before even moving to Emon, out in the countryside where being a super-rich merchant prince didn’t matter that much. And Jamie...Aff doesn’t really get Jamie, but they’re in here a lot, alone at a table where a whole rotation of people sit down to join them and then leave ten minutes later. You learn a lot about someone when they drink by themselves while they’re doing some kind of weird shady business in your bar at least once a week. That’s all.

Aff doesn’t even really think any of them are friends with each other, either, anyway. Sasha and Cameron used to come in on dates, a couple of kids from the Cloudtop slumming it in Diamond Liquor out in the Central District, but they don’t really do that any more. The one time Sasha showed up when Cam was already here, he got up and left. Sometimes Sasha goes and sits at Jamie’s table in the corner, and she’s usually there for a lot longer than ten minutes when she does, but she still always goes back to the rest of her crew and Jamie goes back to drinking alone. Jamie and Cam have come in together a couple of times, and it seems like Jamie doesn’t even do business on those nights, but like, who even knows what’s up with that, right?

Not that Aff’s being creepy or anything. They’re the bar...not-maid. Bartender? No, that’s their dad, ruling over the land of kegs behind the actual physical bar. Bar...server? Is that a thing? Whatever, it is now. Aff’s the bar-server, they hear things. They notice things. That’s all.

Like Sasha talking about the end of history, which, it took Aff a couple of different conversations to realize she didn’t mean the end of the world, which is probably good. Aff’s pretty sure she means the fact that they live now, in modern times, which don’t really have dragon attacks or cool heroes or crazy adventures any more, because all the cool heroes already went on all the crazy adventures and killed the dragons so that modern times could happen in the first place. Which is great! Right, that’s totally for the best, dragons are definitely bad news. Aff’s seen a couple of places where Emon got rebuilt forty or fifty years ago after half the city...melted, they guess? So like, it’s good that that’s not happening nowadays. That’s a good thing.

It’s just...

Look, Aff’s a good bar-server, or whatever you want to call it, and they like living here with their dad, and Emon’s not a bad place to be, it’s just. Hard, sometimes. It’s hard, when they get so angry they just want to hit something, again. Like, a lot. Again.

If there were still adventurers and dragons and shit, then maybe Aff would have a use for all that pent-up aggression or whatever. Maybe they could, y’know, kill monsters or whatever, and it would make them a hero instead of a fuckup. If it were still the old days like that, maybe Aff would be good for something.

If this really is the end of history or whatever, Aff thinks that maybe the hardest part is feeling like they got smacked down in the wrong part of it.

The trouble, of course, is that history is nowhere near through with them. Or with its own twists and turns, which is how history tends to work, really, even when you think it’s all just about settled down.

The third week of Fessuran is...confusing, more than anything. Everything happens so fucking fast, in a blur of blood and fear and sleep-deprivation, washed over with a little extra haze from Jamie’s very good berries, and a couple of days go by in either about two hours or two weeks, and this is never going to make a good story to tell any kids they ever have, if they ever survive long enough to have kids.

Half a dozen people are very dead, that’s very clear, well beyond the help of any cleric or reasonably-ethical necromancer. Amanda from the livery stable down the street from Diamond Liquor was pale and streaked in blood, breathing shallowly and barely alive, last time they saw her. That might be worth something, if they could figure out or agree on what.

The four of them are not dead. They are not under arrest. They’re not in Emon any more, either, but since staying away might be the only chance they have to keep being not-dead and not-arrested, that’s probably a win, too.

They look at each other, hollow-eyed and dazed, across the table at the only inn in the tiny nowhere town of Cinder Hills, where they didn’t dare sleep last night and had better leave the minute they finish breakfast and also decide what the hell comes next.

“What,” Cam says, speaking for them all, “the fuck?”

“Look,” Sasha says. “It’s fine. We just…go to another city, and wait for things to die down. Come back when it’s all over and pretend none of it ever happened. Nothing to do with us at all.”

It’s fine. It has to be fine, because if it’s not then Sasha’s lost everything. Jail isn’t the only way to be trapped. Freedom costs so much.

“You cannot possibly think that’s going to work,” Jamie says scathingly. “You think there’s anybody in Emon who doesn’t know who the great Sasha Murasaki is? We run, and we do not come back.”

Fuck Jamie, fuck them, just…fuck.

She’s spent years building herself a future in Emon. Years, fighting to make herself a place in history. Scrounging for every fucking scrap her parents would let her have, every fraction of respect or freedom that couldn’t just be taken away on a whim because she didn’t lower her eyes enough on any random night. And now she’s going to lose it to this?

“Um,” Aff says. “I have family in Emon? I’m not just going to disappear on my dad. And like, what about Cam’s dad, or Sasha’s family, or–”

“I can’t see my dad right now,” Cam interrupts quickly. “Leaving actually maybe sounds good.”

“Oh, and leaving where, Jamie?” Sasha demands, because she’s ignoring Cameron right now until she can handle looking at him. “Are we all going to stay with your little forest friends? Sleep on leaf mattresses and learn to be druids, then?”

Jamie snorts. “I’m not taking any of you within ten fucking miles of any druid circle I’ve ever met. You, they’d eat alive,” and he gestures dismissively at Aff, “and you, they’d never forgive me for. Luckily the world’s pretty fucking big.”

“So, what, you just want to–what, get on a ship and go to Wildemount?” Cam asks, interrupting Sasha again before she can get started on what even she knows is going to come out sharp and bitter and useless. “Never come home?”

“You can do whatever the fuck you want. I’m going to Kymal as soon as I can get on the fucking road, to see if I can rebuild even a third of what I just left behind.” Jamie says, like it’s just…that easy. “Maybe Westruun, eventually, depending on how that goes.”

Sasha cannot start over in fucking Kymal. She can’t. She’s going home. She’ll get this straightened out.

Everybody knows who her parents are. They could smooth the whole thing over, probably, if she went down on her knees and begged hard enough. If she agreed to let them ship her off to whatever cloister or rich husband they chose, and lost everything to spending the rest of her life under her mother’s thumb and her father’s commands anyway.

Fuck. Fuck. It feels like the walls of this tiny shitty tavern room are closing in on her already. Sasha is so fucked.

It was supposed to be perfect. She was almost done. She was on her way. It was going to be perfect.

“We should probably stay together,” Cameron says worriedly, looking between Sasha and his precious Aff and Jamie fucking Wrenly.

“Westruun,” Sasha says. It’s too small to build anything worth having and it’s too far away from everything she’s ever built so far and it’s too big for her to matter at all and it’s too close for her to really be safe. Westruun’s nothing. But at least it’s better than fucking Kymal. “We can go to Westruun.”

Or Vasselheim. Or Rexxentrum. Or Ank’harel. Or Port Damali. Sasha’s a little afraid to start running. She’s a little afraid that once she gets going, she won’t be able to stop.

Notes on Level 2:

Sasha, human bard 2 Cantrips: Message, Prestidigitation L1 spells (3/day): Charm Person, Sense Emotions, Disguise Self, Comprehend Languages, Detect Magic

Cameron, human warlock 2 Patron: Fiend Cantrips: Mage Hand, Friends L1 spells (2/day): Command, Charm Person, Hex Invocations: Beguiling Influence, Devil’s Sight

Jamie, human wizard 1 druid 1 Cantrips: Friends, Mind Sliver, Minor Illusion, Druidcraft, Infestation L1 spells (3/day) : Cause Fear, Color Spray, Silent Image, Charm Person, Sleep, Identify, plus any druid spells prepared that day

Aff, human barbarian 2 Rage (2/day): +2 damage

#C writes stuff #cinderbrush #critical role #yes I know what happens next #look y'all #I ALWAYS know what happens next #but this is as much as I had written and good #and I wanted to share something today

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ghostmartyr · 4 years

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SnK 127 Thoughts

“Let us speak for 46 pages about how we still don’t actually have any real plan, we’re just all very against genocide (except Magath and Yelena) and very upset and feel like we should be doing something.”

The characters are sort of doing my job for me this month.

Maybe this whole post should just be illicit screencaps from Crunchyroll with me providing links and saying, ‘and here’s the panel that makes the point I whined about in this post here.’

That would probably provide more entertainment than whatever I’m about to come up with.

-sees the amount of swearing in the first section-

Hm.

First off, fuck Magath.

Like no, I’m sorry. This is not about what happened 2000 years ago. You know what it’s about? It’s about Marley sending in child soldiers to assault and rob a land that had caused literally no problems for 100 years. It’s about Marley doing this despite being aware of its own history, being that their personal hero collaborated with the First King of Paradis to make Marley’s independence possible.

You want to talk about history, Magath?

Jean isn’t the one who sounds like a child.

Jean is reacting to actual pain that he has experienced in his lifetime thanks to Magath’s very intentional military strategies.

Magath is blaming Jean and everyone else on the island for being born.

That is not equivalent.

That is not remotely equivalent, and while Eren is being a fucking bastard about it, Jean’s right. Eren has the power, means, and will to do all of this because of what Magath and Marley did to Paradis.

Magath doesn’t recognize Eldians as people.

The Eldian Empire was bad.

No one except Floch is disputing that. That is how you know that it is bad.

Marley, as well as the rest of the world, has been free from the Eldian Empire for over a hundred years, and in that time, all they have done is take every horrible thing about the Eldian Empire and exploit it for their own gains.

Magath doesn’t get to be angry that he lives off the backs of abused, brainwashed children that he treats like crap.

Years ago, the Eldian Empire was the worst terror in the world.

A year ago, it was Marley.

Now, it happens to be Eren.

And you know, I’ve been actively against pretty much everything Eren’s done. His plan, if he has one, has mostly managed to make everyone angry and get a lot of people killed who weren’t even involved in the beginning. He gets his head blown off close enough to his brother that he doesn’t die. That’s how the beginning stages of him committing genocide goes. He betrays his friends, makes his besties from childhood feel like crap, and honestly has just been a dick to pretty much everyone.

But at least Eren’s indiscriminate murder has the decency to actually be indiscriminate.

Marley takes children it despises and turns them into their willing slaves for the promise of a better life they have no intent of dispensing. They take these children, and full of hatred for the very ability, demand that they shorten their lifespan and murder people to prove that they’re a “good Eldian” who deserves to live.

Marley is why people can stomach rooting for Eren.

Because Marley is such an abomination that it almost feels worth it to destroy the world if it means Marley’s gone too.

Hell, I’m with Hange. There’s not an avenue where I accept genocide as a way to deal with any of this.

But if someone wanted to burn Magath alive, and we spent a dozen pages gloriously detailing his flesh curling off his bones, it would make me happy.

That’s a more dignified death than he’s given any of the children he’s forced into Marley’s wars.

He does not have the fucking moral high ground.

He's the one Jean should have punched. There is not a single person around that campfire that he has not damaged deeply, and noticing that Gabi is a little girl and he cares when she is in pain does not magically remove that.

Fuck Marley. Fuck Magath.

Grow the fuck up and stop viewing genocide as an acceptable response, you fucking halfwit child. You are the individual who saw four children off on their solitary mission to murder thousands of people. Two of them are dead. Two of them are deeply traumatized, with one of them wishing he had died.

But oh yes, Magath. You’re the victim, here.

Because you baited one angry idiot with the power of a god into destroying part of a city you didn’t give a damn about.

Truly, your justice is a thing to aspire to.

Perhaps Eren taking notes is the real reason we’re here.

Motherfucking fuck I hate Marley. I hate that Eren’s put any of these characters in the position where they have to put up with this shit for the sake of civility. I don’t have a problem with the Warriors. I don’t have a problem with the Survey Corps. I don’t have a problem with the kidlets. Hi Onyankopon, sorry about your life. Yelena has many problems, but she’s also attractive, so I don’t mind as much.

Magath, though.

Pieck, just eat him. Everyone’s too depressed to really throw down over it at this point, and the two small ones are so deeply traumatized that one more body really isn’t going to make much of a dent.

Jean’s clearly the star of this chapter, and a good deal of that comes from the potent hopelessness hovering over him like a rain cloud.

He can point to how bad everyone is at talking things out like it’s the key to the entire mystery, but the long list of problems Jean offers at the beginning of the chapter are still present. Unless they have a way to talk to every person in the world out of their (at this point, rather justified) fear and anger, Paradis and Eldians around the world are very much screwed.

Paradis has forever been running out of time against the hatred the rest of the world has for them.

They do have to fight against what Eren’s doing, and talking instead of blowing each other’s heads off is a good start, but it’s a good start thousands of years after the worst possible one.

And the last time they tried to talk to Eren, Armin punched him, and that was the most productive thing to come out of it.

Jean being the everyman who recognizes the heart of an average person because he is one has been a great tool. It’s still great, here. He wants to close his ears to all of this. He wants, desperately, to run away, because there is no good solution that doesn’t end in death.

When he joins the Survey Corps, they at least have Eren as a brand of hope. They can believe that years of the same tactics and bodies piling up won’t end the same way.

Joining this squad is all about stopping Eren, and despite having figured out their next course of action, no one has yet to provide a real idea.

Genocide is wrong, so you stand up and try to stop it.

That’s the only plan they have.

The Scouts from Paradis don’t even have the promise of saving the people they love if they stop Eren. Annie, Pieck, Gabi, Reiner, Falco... they have a home. The world might forget to hate them. They might get to go home and have a life after this.

The people sitting on the other side of the fire are fucking screwed. They’re fighting entirely for their principles.

...Also Yelena is here.

I do like Yelena.

She’s not the worst, because this manga has too many horrible people in it, but she’s delightfully terrible. I especially like how the fact that she’s actually from Marley hardly gives her any pause.

I do so like Yelena.

It’s a beautiful sentiment.

After all, everyone’s drunk on something.

If you can just save the world, what does the rest matter? What do the crimes that kept you awake at night mean, when you’ve accomplished something so miraculous? All the good deeds cleanse the rottenness, and maybe then the world rights itself and you can breathe again.

...Hey wait, where’s Reiner’s reaction shot to finding out Gabi killed Sasha?

...Did he even know Sasha was dead?

But I guess we’re doing Marco angst.

Wow. Marco angst in 2020.

I think my favorite thing about this chapter (outside of the fact that Mikasa still hates Annie and it makes me giggly because wow Mikasa) is that Annie does absolutely nothing while Jean’s beating the crap out of Reiner.

My less favorite thing is I’ve stopped enjoying Reiner getting the crap beaten out of him. It’s been done, and... really the kid just needs to have not been born into this particular life. Watching Jean beat him bloody is. not cathartic. It’s really just awful.

Annie dodging with her food is glorious, though.

Because while Jean beating up Reiner over Marco is sad and kind of miserable, Annie watching someone beat up Reiner after the years she spent putting up with Reiner and Bertolt brings it back to almost funny.

Until you look at Reiner’s face and go back to feeling bad.

-turns page back to Annie getting out of the way-

Much better.

Truly, I love Annie.

Her forgiveness status is interesting, though. I think besides Marco, she enjoyed more of the kills she’s responsible for than anyone feels a need to dig up.

She’s also been more alone than most of the others in the wagons, and essentially spent four years imprisoned for her crimes.

I’m not surprised she asked, because she’s Annie, but I’m a bit surprised we don’t have an answer yet. Probably too close to the end of the chapter to open up that can of worms.

If it makes everyone feel better, I think we know for a fact that Mikasa will never forgive Annie for anything, even if it only displays itself as petty brandishing of weapons every time they make eye contact.

It’s not even a ship thing.

I just love that Annie is the one person Mikasa can’t stand. They’ve been in one chapter together and Mikasa’s already pulling out swords. These two shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near each other. It’s perfection.

Then we get to plot complications that really don’t register as complications because like. Yeah, you guys need something to do while you figure out what the hell you’re doing.

Because you don’t actually have a real plan, just so we’re clear.

Killing Eren would result in all those Wall Titans operating under their own power.

That is not fundamentally less destructive.

Killing Eren has a nice ring to it, but much like talking to Eren, it does not solve any of the other problems looming ahead.

So you enjoy your little subplot with Floch!

It’s one of the last times your combined competence will have any meaning.

-looks over at Kiyomi-

Honest question, but why are you alive if Floch dislikes you enough to hold you hostage? If Eren’s gonna kill everyone, shouldn’t Floch be following suit and just do his Floch thing of murdering every slight inconvenience?

We’re in the boring stages of the finale right now.

No clear plan for either side to contend with. No real progress in any direction because the tiny squabbles are just a delaying tactic for the massive squabble that no one has an answer to. None of any of this chapter really matters except for clearing the air.

Which is not a useless investment, it’s just not very exciting.

At this point, no excitement is allowed, because there’s that One Huge Thing, and the entire story hinges on it. Maybe someone will die on the way to dealing with it, but that’s all the drama we’re going to get until we find out enough about the plot to have a future worth rooting for.

Right now, there is no good outcome for the people we’ve watched fight for 127 chapters.

Pulling a story along with that weight is hard, and I can feel my brain turning itself off until we’re back to a point where the story is permitted to address the stegosaurus in the room.

One more month.

Again.

Until something happens and we all regret everything.

#Shingeki no Kyojin #SnK 127 #shingeki no spoilers #SnK spoilers #spoilers #tl;dr #chapter post #fuck marley

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sadgssdg · 3 years

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And although its just another game, rivalry nike air max thea atomic pink is still in the air

And although its just another game, rivalry nike air max thea atomic pink is still in the air.. According to INTAM, among the top 15 programmes on Zee Cinema, MAX and STAR Gold for week starting January 7, 2002, none of MAX's shows find a place. Close your eyes, she told herself. Burke won Season 1 of "DWTS" with Drew Lachey and Season 3 with Emmitt Smith.Here are the announced pairings of celebrities and professional dance partners for Season 23:Ryan Lochte with Cheryl BurkeLaurie Hernandez with Valentin ChmerkovskiyMaureen McCormick with Artem ChigvintsevAmber Rose with Maksim ChmerkovskiyTerra Jole with Sasha FarberMarilu Henner with Derek HoughRick Perry with Emma SlaterJake T. In addition to his parents; he was preceded in death by his sister, Betty Jane Zofchak, and brothers, Pvt. I had to hide in my office when I got on the phone with her. 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He was in bed reading, and I said, read this story this afternoon, it a really good story, you oughta read it. They argue homosexuality is a sin. This was a mistake. Shit is crazy: It really demystifies everything. She told me that Azorka had been used to performing in the street with some actors, and knew how to do his part, and used to have a monkey riding on his back, and knew how to use a gun and lots of other things. (The A320neo is also available with the CFM engine.) Boeing has more than 2,300 orders for the aircraft in the 737 Max family, including a firm order for 61 of the planes from Air Canada..

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animepapireviews · 4 years

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The Misfit of Demon King Academy - Episode 1 - 4

This is the first review for this anime and it will cover the first 4 episodes of this recently released anime and I hope you enjoy reading it.

Story so far

It starts off with the entrance exams being held at the Demon King Academy where the descendants are trained to become his successor and become Demon Lords. It’s an exam that has three stages the first a physical exam, the magical power assessment and the aptitude test. Little do they know that the Demon King has been reincarnated. Bored of the war-torn world from 2000 years ago, the trynannical Demon King, Anos, appears on the scene.

He meets the hopeful magical student Misha who at arrival dropped her invitation to the academy and Anos gracefully picks it up and returns it to her and this is how they’re introduced. Together, they head on inside where the practical tests are set to start. Anos comes up first against Zepes who he inadvertly met outside the entrance of the academy, after being mocked by Anos this leads to Zepes wanted his revenge during the practical test. The power differences between the two is scary and this leads to Anos effortlessly winning the fight and due to Zepes stubborness on not giving up. This leads to Anos continuously kills and resurrects him with the Ingall spell as long as it’s done within a certain type - something which he calls a 3 second rule.

After taking part in the other two test of the magic power assessment and the aptitude test, Anos invites Misha back to his house where he reveals the news that he got into the academy to his parents. After, the meal they have to celebrate, the duo head outside for a walk. This is where the Demon Lord Leorg approaches out the shadows and confronts Anos. After the incident involving his brother Zepes earlier in the episode, he’s out for revenge and determined to put Anos in his place.

Even though Anos is actually the founding ancestor and possesses magical powers more immensly than anyone has at the Academy he’s cast as the misfit. He finds out that a fake Demon King has been passed down over the 2000 years since his reincarnation. During class, they’re told that there will be a team competition and are asked for who wants to be the leaders for each team; Sasha Necron who happens to be Misha’s older sister even though she only sees her sister as a “junk doll” offers to be leader for the one team. This is where Anos offers to be the other leader and although dismissed due to him being a hybrid, after he shows his overwhelming power once again he is chosen to be the other team’s leader. He is mocked by his classmates due to him only having one teammate under him in Misha and requests for Sasha to join his team due to Misha wanting her sister on the same team as her until she no doubt refuses.

So, Sasha challenges a dual with Anos for the team competition and the rules entailed were if Anos won then Sasha would have to join his team as he previously requested. However, if he loses then he’d be owned by Sasha and would have to do as she says always. Fast forward now to the team competition and the battle between the two teams, whilst Anos only has one member in Misha he gets her to create three separate castles. This being to cause a distraction while he turns up in front of the other team’s castle, he demonstrates once again his immense power and even after Sasha’s team uses the ultimate fire element spell, Jio Graze; he manages to overcome it and eventually have Sasha to reluctantly join his team due it being sealed by a Zecht.

In Episode 3 Ivis, one of the Seven Elder Demon Emperors, holds a special class at the Demon King Academy to teach a lecture on the Necron’s family secret technique, “Fusion Magic”. Which is the fusion of multiple spells using varied magical powers to increase the original level of magical power tenfold. Before this lecture starts though however, Anos expects Iris to remember him seeming as he created the Seven Elder Demon Emperors but he does not. So, he used the Origin magic ‘Rivide’ to locally rewound time to 2000 years ago in the hopes of restoring his memories but he finds that the name of the demon lord he remembers is not his own but goes by the name of Avos Dilhevia.

After this exchange between Anos and Iris it fast forwards to the Dungeon Exam in the demon palace Delsgade; which happens to belong to Anos himself. Each team is scored by collecting different magical tools, weapons, armour and the such. Due to this being an exam every other team rushes inside the palace to start finding items to collect, but Anos and his team stay outside and he states that if they get the scepter from the alter at the lowest level then they’d get the perfect score. After, moving through the ‘secret passage’ which he created, they end up upon the door to the altar sealed with anti-magic protection. Although Misha and Sasha come stuck on how they’d get past the door, Anos simply used brute strength to open the door and there lies the sceptor. While Sasha adores it in all it’s glory, Anos takes Misha into a seperate room and asks her what gift she’d like to gift Sasha for her birthday and chooses the Phoenix Robe and after suggestions dismisses taking a gift for herself due to her and Sasha being twins.

Misha gifts the Robe to Sasha and while she’s trying it on this is where Anos goes into a separate room for the moment. Once he returns, there with a knife stuck into her chest was Misha. This is where Sasha’s true intentions are shown and she talks of always despising Misha ever since she was created but Anos sees past this and heals Misha and when Sasha runs off with the scepter to claim the perfect score for herself due to breaking the Zecht which meant she joined Anos’s team to begin with. Now, this is when Misha breaks the news to Anos due to them being friends and reveals that once it’s her fifteenth birthday that she will disappear.

After discovering the truth behind Misha’s fate, Anos decided to help Misha make up with Sasha before she disappears so they catch up to Sasha. This is where Misha wants to know the truth and asks “Sasha, do you really hate me?”, due to being shocked Misha still doesn’t hate her after she stabbed her she offers to duel Anos once again. However, this time the rules are that if he can control the magic circles which she creates then she will answer Misha’s question but if he can’t then he will have to do what his told by Sasha.

Anos easily controls the magic circle and she answers Misha and talks of how she will disappear soon and how while growing up she researched trying to find a magic which would change that. So, by using Delt she offers to transform Misha into the original and she is willing to let Misha live the rest of her life inside her own body and as her. There’s a catch to this magic though under the one condition that Misha has to reject Sasha in order for it to work; Misha realises the lies Sasha is telling her and realised her words are not true so therefore Delt didn’t work and Misha’s fate still sealed. Anos then talks of the real miracle and tells them off a way that they can both exist and live by sending them fifteen years into the past before they were born to ensure that their sources fuse as their own individual demon.

Just before he’s due to send them back to the past, Ivis strikes and stabs him right through the heart in an attempt to kill Anos in order for the two sisters to become the ‘founding ancestor’ who happens to be his master. It comes to no avail though and Anos easily strikes him aside to continue with aiding the two sisters. However this becomes an issue, as by meddling with time itself it leads to the Guardian God of Time Eugo La Raviaz to appear and grants Ivis power of time with one task. To annihilate Anos Voldigoad! Ivis notices his weakness and knows he’d protect the sisters until the end so after a barrage of attacks he once again plunges the sword through Anos’s heart and believes this time he has really killed him. Until nope...you guessed it, he’s not dead. Using just his source he resurrected himself. This leads to Ivis stopping time itself in an attempt to stop the demon king, until due to the immense magic power it has no effect on Anos and he sends the sisters to the past to change their fates. After another barrage of attacks, Anos conjures up a demonic sword. The Magic Sword of Destruction, Venuzdnor and defeats Ivis and the God of Time itself. By doing so, he resurrects Ivis and returns him his memories where he is told to investigate the other Elder Demon Emperors and to find out more of the name Avos Dilhevia. After, all the events gone on so far this leads to Misha and Sasha now living together and fate has been changed and Misha will now live on.

Characters

Over the course of these four episodes there’s been the main focus on Anos, Misha, Sasha , Ivis and the mysterious name of Avos Dilhevia. Amongst these character there was also Emilia the homeroom teacher of Anos’s class, and the brief appearances of Zepes and his brother Leorg. An honourable mention though is Anos’s parents who I can't miss out. Ever since they’re introduced they bring a sense of humour to this anime and in all the scenes there in due to the matter of their personalities and sense of jumping to conclusions quickly; these makes their scenes very enjoyable and humorous.

Anos who happens to be the reincarnation of the founding ancestor and the Demon King is different to how I'd of imagined him. Even though he originally let himself be killed in order to create peace in the world. Since he was first introduced he acted kind, but yet not be as kind to not use his immense power on others to display the difference in magical power he possesses. In this regard during the first episode he seems as someone who may like to feel inferior to others beneath him due to the power differences he has compared to others. However, I like how in the episodes to come afterwards it show his character a lot more and due the bond of friendship he has seemed to create with Misha and later on creates with Sasha,means he develops as a character just like any other one even though his title of Demon King puts him as an interior character to all the rest. He shows that even though he's the founding ancestor he’s willing to help others and shows his kindness and this shows when he changes Misha’s fate and enables her to live not dissapear.

Moving on to Misha, she arrives at the demon academy as a shy and awkward person who is labelled as just a ‘magic doll’ from early on. However, doll or not she shows a personality like anyone else and develops emotions just like anyone else. I really like how even though she’s shy has a feel to her that just gives you a sense of joy due to her positive upbeat she brings to the anime and her friendship with Anos develops nicely I feel throughout and I love the connection they have as friends.

Now, Sasha who happens to be the sister of Misha. Even though when she’s first introduced to the anime she happens to be someone who is cocky and can be seen as arrogant, in the sense that she feels she’s better than some. This certainly changes in the episodes to come and we see her develop as a character more. Since she joined Anos’s team and is with Misha she displays a more change to her personality and what I mean by this is that from her original introduction she acts more like her age and acts like a sister more to Misha throughout.

The last one I’m going to talk about is Avos Dilhevia. Mystery and suspense seems to link to this name and thus far he has not shown himself but only been spoken of. I’m intrigued to find out why over the past 2000 years since the Demon King’s death that others have been led to believe that the founding ancestors name was his not Anos’s and I'm excited to find out the end game behind this later in the anime I hope.

Animation

During this show, it's animation is excellently done throughout and flows well within the fight scenes which happen a lot within the show due to the scheme of the anime itself. Whether it’s the animation of the aesthetics of the magic itself to the scenes where magic is used to fight, I’ve been impressed with it’s excellent work either way and I love watching every moment of this anime even more due to the animation which excels episode to episode.

As you can see from just this short gif above it shows how well the animation is done. From the moment the heart beats to when the effect itself hits Zepes and the blood splatters from each separate part of his body. It epitomises the animation quality within the anime and is one of the reasons what makes me love each episode as it comes so far.

Overall Enjoyment

This was an anime which when I first saw the trailer they released when announcing this I wasn’t overly excited nor intrigued by it and even up to the choice of me deciding to review this anime I didn't think I'd enjoy it as much as I have done. Since the first episode kicked off it brought the of an overpowered main character but still retained a sense of personality within the show and even though the difference in power between Anos and the rest is clear. It happens to still keep its shine throughout. Within certain anime, the worry is that if there’s an overpowered character it takes away a bit of the joy behind watching as you get the sense that due to them always winning it can create a sense of boredom within the anime.

With this one though it doesn’t feel like that at all. If anything is makes me enjoy it even more as even though Anos is rightly so more powerful than anyone else the fact he has excellent development and personality so far makes it stand out to me. Anos isn’t the only thing I've liked about this so far though. The aspect of this having more of a plot to it than the trailers seemed to give away has me intrigued to find out more behind the name of Avod Dilhevia and the mystery behind why since the Demon King’s death, have had the real facts been tinkered with. Overall, I'm loving this anime thus far and I'm excited to watch more to come!

#anime #reviews #AnimeReviews #misfit demon king #demon king academy #blog

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oshaviolater · 4 years

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just thinking lots of thoughts about Juno Steel tonight

#god i genuinely enjoy reading gerry's meta #i love their mind :)#tpp meta #the penumbra podcast

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ya-boi-hawkeye · 7 years

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Mortality

a super self indulgent thing that i wrote for the LOADed With Sin AU. set way into the future, like idk i was just feeling sort of melancholy and thinking about what it means to be a droid surrounded by organic friends

“Hey Red.” B2 Battle Droid XK-2561-JS00241—Red, it had been nicknamed, on account of the splotches of rusted metal from being stored in less than ideal circumstances—twisted slightly to acknowledge the presence of it’s Captain. “Mind some company?”

“I am always appreciative of your technical expertise, Captain.” Red answered blandly, handing over the precision tools.

Nia gave him a speculative look at that, hooking her foot around a stool to drag it over. “I’m pretty sure if you’re looking for technical expertise, Loeb would be the one you want.”

“Perhaps.” Red admitted. “But the hairballs have a tendency to clog up my intake ports.”

“Ooh, someone’s in a mood.” She teased. “What are we working on today?”

“Increasing optimal efficiency.” Red answered. “There is a .02% lag in computational commands versus output in my internal weaponry.”

“Not 0.02%.” Nia gasped, pulling the primary firing limb closer to her. “Think of what that could cost us.”

“You are mocking me.” Red answered reproachfully. “What an organic thing to do.”

The smile she gave him was quick and warm, reaching up to her eyes and creating creases in them. There were more than when they’d first met, when she’d accidentally powered it on while hiding on the First Order base. Red supposed that inevitably, it too had to show the passage of years that spanned between the two moments, the rust scoured clean, chassis built and rebuilt time and again to account for upgrades and damage.

But whereas the organics that it considered its colleagues began to slow, biologic processes losing efficiency, Red only improved.

“Hey Red?” Nia didn’t look up as she poked around the calibration system of the photon canon in its arm, precision tools moving and testing the wiring. “You ever think about your own mortality?”

The droid’s optical sensors flickered at that, in an expression that might have been construed as surprise. “I am synthetic. I do not decay as you do.”

She didn’t answer for a moment, reconnecting a wire with a jolt of sensory feedback along its processors. “No, that’s true. Your body does, from wear and tear though, otherwise we wouldn’t be here right now would we? What happens if it gets damaged beyond repair?”

“There are fail safes.” It answered slowly. “My cognitive processors shut down, and the hard drive can theoretically be removed and uploaded into a new format.”

“Theoretically?” She questioned. “That makes you effectively immortal. Or at least, much more difficult to kill.”

“Theoretically.” Red repeated. “In practice it is much more difficult. Ideally this is because of my role, as a B2 Battle Droid it was expected that I would be wholly destroyed in battle.”

“You were primarily functional during the first galactic civil war. Before the Empire got its hands on the clone army.”

Red filtered through its memory banks, which stretched back far, far past the decades spent shut down and non-functional. “I recall them. Generals Skywalker and Kenobi.” The images were there, clear as day, played back like security feed. “Across a barren, red landscape, parts of droids scattered around them. It would have been easy to have fallen the same way and then… there would have been nobody to transfer my hard drive.”

Which was unsurprising, and not uncommon. They were droids, after all, a nearly endless resource if one had the money to pay for it; who would bother going through the effort to extract one hard drive, from one fallen droid, when they could just make a hundred more? Even those that were taken for recovery, it was the data that was desired, not the personality protocol of the droid itself. It wasn’t like they were organic, it wasn’t like it had a soul.

Nia did look up at that, a wounded, pinched expression on her face as she watched it. Her eyes were too expressive, Red thought, micro expressions on her face that made her an open book.

Red didn’t need to hear the words to know the argument churning in that gaze; you exist, you matter, you have a soul even if it’s not like mine.

A lesson she’d learned the hard way, it knew, a lesson she was still paying for.

“You could now though, if you wanted. We have the money, we could have a brand new chassis designed for you. State of the art. You could upgrade, and upgrade, and upgrade. You’d be around long after I was dust.”

“Perhaps.” It had crossed the thought processors, that Red would without a doubt outlast them. “But what form would I take? Who would I trust so intimately to recreate myself?”

“Loeb could do it. Or you could ask Rey. Sasha knows a lot about functional cybernetics since she’s a cyborg herself.” Nia pointed out. “Lizandra, I’m sure, if you asked nicely. Hell, she could probably give you some sort of extra-dimensional body. Like, maybe you could become a sick-ass robo-dragon? Or something that, like, can phase through planes of existence? You could go into alternate dimensions.”

“You assume that a form I would desire.” Red flexed its hand as Nia pulled back, setting the tools down and closing the panel. “Running system diagnostics.”

“Okay then, smarty pants, what form would you like?” She rolled her eyes, reaching over to scratch at the seam where her synthetic hand fused to her arm. “Has to be something good if you’re going to outlive the rest of us.”

“Something worthy of respect.” Red decided. “Which is not to imply that the form of Landilizandra is not worthy of respect—” It had seen the damage the dragon-goddess could inflict, it would be unwise to imply any sort of insult. “—But that is not the form I would wish to be rebuilt into. I am a battle droid, it is what I was when we met, and I would not change while any of you remain.”

“You would wish.” She parroted in a stilted voice, no doubt designed to be a mimicry of it’s own auditory output. “Well, you have time at least. I’m pretty sure Ki’da and Loeb are going to outlive us all. Well, except for the kids at least.”

She paused then, looking pensive. “Still, it must be nice, having the option to decide. To have more control over when natural processes take you.”

“But terribly lonely, I should think.” Red mused. “To remain so unchanging, while those you have come to care for age and die.”

“I suppose so.” She sighed, and there was something off about her tone, about the pensive way she frowned at her own hands. “I suppose I’ve been thinking about my own mortality, and the legacy I’ll be leaving behind. If I shouldn’t have done something more.”

The droid didn’t respond, not verbally, but rather it folded its hands together, turning to regard the human.

“It wasn’t supposed to go like this, my life.” She sighed. “I was going to be… something. A pilot? Not like Poe, Poe can fly anything. But I have a mind for tactics, I’m good in the field, I could have been a New Republic soldier. Could have done things right.”

“And then, after, when my head was relatively unfucked and I had the choice to choose what I wanted, I became a pirate. Not a terrible one, not complete scum, but look at me. This isn’t exactly the legacy I imagined leaving for my children.”

“Perhaps not.” Red admitted. “But a legacy is different things to different people. You will be remembered well, by your children who know you love them, and the people you have helped. You will be remembered well by me, for however long I last. That is your legacy. It will be one worth remembering.”

“You always know just what to say.” She smiled.

In the end, Nia had been right. Ki’dara and Loeb had been the last of the original crew to go.

Those doctor types, they’re like cockroaches, hard to kill.

The procession was grand, as under Gomla’s leadership the Void pirates had grown into an armada of massive size, beyond what their mother could have ever imagined.

She would be proud of the legacy she’d left behind, Red thought. Proud of what she had created.

The air was somber, as the bodies were brought in. Wrapped in the finest silks, soaked in the most expensive of wines and encrusted with gold and jewels. It was tradition; a last display of the decadence of a pirate’s life. And they were bound and lain together, in death as in life.

There were few words, spoken primarily by Shian, the heir they left behind, before it was time to see the bodies dealt with.

And that was tradition too, though it didn’t start that way. They would be fed through the engines, bodies burned down to the smallest of particles and launched out into the void of space to drift among the stars. The Captain had been the first to go like that; she had loved the vast expanse of space, and as her spirit returned to the Force from whence it came, so too would her worldly body return to the cosmos which had created it.

It was beautifully poetic, in a way, which is why the others followed suit. To return to the spaces that they had claimed at her side, together in life as in death. And then others followed even after. Generations that didn’t know what the original Void Squadron was, that didn’t know the touch of the civil war, or the First Order, that weren’t born on the bones of a galaxy trying to recover.

Ki’dara and Loeb washed out into the universe in a spray of gold and blue sparks, their passing marked with tears, with stoicism, and the acknowledging burst of a spray of weapons from the rest of the ships gathered. A fitting farewell, to the last of the founders.

And soon, Red knew, would come the proper farewell. The farewell to their memories, to the lives and legacies they left behind, which would be celebrated with alcohol, and camaraderie.

The droid turned away from the viewport, human fingers—human like, different in that they were made from a foreign metal, black and silver, energy lines flowing with red light—curling around the hood of the jacket and pulling it closer.

An upgrade.

It—he? They?—had left behind the old chassis with the last of the original Squad. Effectively immortal, she had said, and that was true in a way. But Red couldn’t go back, couldn’t stay in the body of the B2 Battle Droid XK-2561-JS00241. So instead it had upgraded, taken a form worthy of the highest respect.

“It’s okay, yeah?” Harroc was at its side, tail twitching and, even with a life extended beyond that of his human progenitor—never as long as that of their mother—Red could see the wear of the decades on him too. Less physically, he didn't age per session, but Red had been there from the beginning, when Harroc had hatched from an egg. And it could see it now, in the bearing, the weight of wisdom in the eyes. An almost kindred spirit in this.

The droid didn’t know what it meant, this new chapter in its life, this new body. But it had been given a chance, long ago, in a humid and sweltering storage room, by a confusing, mortal woman. And truly the best way to honor those fallen comrades was to do whatever it could to find out.

The droid paused, thumb dragging along the curve of a small holodisk, pressing into the center to bring up the image. The original Void Squadron, it was a picture that had been taken for morale, to commemorate what we were and what we are. The hull was familiar, and there they all were, basking in the glory of being the ones to reclaim the Katana fleet. Younger then, the future ahead of them, victory on the horizon.

Red had the image, the entire memory, locked away securely in its memory banks making the holo quite superfluous. At any moment it could replay those memories, and it would be as though nothing had changed, as though it was right back in that moment, could recall the feel of Nia’s arms slung around its shoulders, holding tight. The way Nico would scoff and try to shift away from the camera, only to be pinned between Illeria and Arcturus. How Riva insisted on climbing onto Tyrk’s shoulders. A better time, Red thought, and the pain of knowing that it was all that was left ached like a burnt out hole in his torso.

There had never been organics quite like them before, and there would never be organics quite like them in the galaxy again.

“Yes.” With a sharp nod—jerky, still calibrating this new body—Red set the holo down, on display, these children should remember, with the other trinkets, in memoriam. “It’s okay.”

It was a terribly lonely thing, to be the only one left.

#idek how to tag this tbh #like i said it was just really self-indulgent #it basically focuses between nia and red #with an appearance by harry #*shrug* dunno i just really wanted to write this #loaded with sin #theload

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jeremystrele · 3 years

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A Day In The Life of ‘Hamilton’ Star, Chloé Zuel

A Day In The Life

by Sasha Gattermayr

Chloé in her sunny Clovelly apartment. Photo – Alisha Gore for The Design Files.

To manage nerves and mindfulness, Chloé has started journalling in the mornings. Photo – Alisha Gore for The Design Files.

Given she works nights, Chloé’s day doesn’t start til around 9am when she wakes up. Then it’s some quick meditation, a coffee and some yoga! Photo – Alisha Gore for The Design Files.

Photo – Alisha Gore for The Design Files.

Exercise is a very important daily activity for Chloé, professionally and personally! Photo – Alisha Gore for The Design Files.

What a way to start every day! Photo – Alisha Gore for The Design Files.

Chloé’s days are upside down, she eats dinner at 5pm and then heads off to start work! After arriving at the theatre she does a physical warm-up, voice warm-up and starts on her makeup. Photo – Alisha Gore for The Design Files.

Chloé as Eliza Hamilton. Photo – Alisha Gore for The Design Files.

We hear shamefully often from performers of colour that they never saw people that looked like themselves on screen or stage while they were growing up. For Chloé Zuel, who plays Elizabeth Schuyler in the Australian production of the world-famous musical, listening to the Hamilton soundtrack when it debuted in 2015 was the first time she had heard a chorus of voices that sounded like hers, too.

‘Hamilton has opened up the space to such diverse performers that may not have had this platform to be seen and heard before, which is so incredible,’ she says. ‘I love that I get to be a part of that movement in Australia.’

Chloé is Mauritian-Australian, and has talked candidly about the overt and casual racism that pervades the industry she loves and works in. But Hamilton has been a catalyst for worldwide change in an industry that has long suffered minority representation problems, and has even breathed cool new life into a form often dismissed as dorky. Such is its effect, it even breathed new confidence into Chloé:

‘The pandemic was definitely a big moment of reflection for me. I wondered if the industry would ever come back and if it did, whether I would still have a place in it. Working in the industry for the amount of time that I have, I’ve had more “no’s” than “yes’s”, and it’s a constant struggle to remind yourself that ‘no’ means something else is coming,’ she says.

After receiving the news she had been cast, Chloé threw herself into preparation, reading the Alexander Hamilton biography that inspired the production, and listening to the Hamilcast podcast (true fans will know!). Rehearsal and routine became more important than ever.

But at the end of the day, no amount of work can fully prepare you to star in the most famous musical in the world. Chloé still gets nervous every day, about her voice, about her talent, about her right to be on stage.

But if there’s one thing audiences are certain of, it’s that Chloé was born to play this iconic role. And if they already don’t, the world’s gonna know her name!

First Thing

I usually wake up between 8am and 9am. The first thing I do is snooze my alarm, drink water and kiss my husband!

I feel like I spend the first half of my yoga class yawning and then I’m present after that. I’m probably a little sluggish to start but I’m definitely not a morning monster.

Morning

During the week we do evening shows so I get to work usually no later than 5pm. On the weekends we do two double show days, meaning I’m usually there from around 11am and leave around 10.45/11pm.

I meditate every morning, even when I really don’t want to because it helps with my stage anxiety and also helps me to be present while I’m on stage and focused. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have to force this task on myself, but I do because it’s for my own good.

Lunchtime

Because I have an unusual schedule, finishing work quite late and therefore eating quite late I usually have my coffee around 11am so I don’t eat my first meal until midday usually. I’ll usually eat two boiled eggs, some greens, avo and a piece of toast or I’ll grab a veggie wrap from the cafe down the road if I’m being lazy.

Afternoon

I do life admin or catch up with people during the afternoons. I try to get to the beach most days too – even if it’s just to briefly look at the water and get some perspective. I do singing lessons once a week and on the days I don’t do a lesson I’ll do an afternoon vocal warm up to make sure I’m ready for the show that night.

I sometimes get a slump in the afternoon but I also wake up later than most people, so sometimes I’m still riding on a high from the day because it only started at 9.30am. Sometimes the afternoon can be a little overwhelming because the task ahead for my night feels huge, but I feel very grateful that I get to have my days free to enjoy the sunshine.

Evening

I get to the theatre around two hours before the show to warm up, sometimes have physio, eat dinner, do make up and just be in the space.

I eat dinner at 5pm before the shows and then eat something small during interval to avoid having to eat anything after the show. If I do eat after the show, I’ll try to have something small so that it doesn’t affect my sleep. I eat really boring things on show days- very plain so that I don’t feel sick while on stage. Most days I’ll have a protein with greens, sweet potato, brown rice and avocado and I eat in on the way to work or at my dressing table at work. Very glamorous!

I make sure I eat well before the show so that I have time to digest. Then I do make up and usually do my second mini warm-up at the same time. After that, we have a full-cast physical and vocal warm-up. I get my wig and mic on at the half hour call before the show and then costume and mic check at the five minute call.

Before most shows the three sisters will sing through ‘Schuyler Sisters‘ because it’s such a tough sing for us, and it’s also a nice time to connect with each other before we go on. I also often shove some chocolate in my mouth before I have to brush my teeth and put lipstick on. I should try to take that out of my routine to be honest…!

So many things happen while I’m on stage and it varies scene to scene and night to night. While I’m on stage I’m thinking about the scene I’m in and telling the story but I’m also thinking about my pitch and the music I’m hearing on stage along with spacing and lighting. I’m often figuring out how to navigate vocal and physical fatigue and also sometimes trying to remember my words… It’s a juggling act every show!

Night

I finish work between 10.30 and 11pm. After the show I always shower at work and take my make up off there while doing a vocal cool down. On the 25 min drive home back to the beach I’ll listen to some chill music, the commute actually helps me unwind. I try to get into bed within half an hour of being home and I should stop looking at screens earlier than I do, but I’m still working on that!

Last Thing

I try my best to get home and be in bed no later than midnight. Often I won’t sleep until 12.30 but I’m always fighting to get into bed before 12am to get the most out of my sleep! My body needs at least 7 hours to be able to do the show and my voice definitely suffers when I have less than 7 hours. I aim for 8 hours a day.

Costume, make up and hair are the first stop after the warm-up. Photo – Alisha Gore for The Design Files.

Perfection! Photo – Alisha Gore for The Design Files.

The full cast on stage. Photo – Daniel Boud.

Right now I’m listening to, watching, and reading…

I love to make playlists on Spotify so I listen to those mostly. I’ve also been listening to lots of Laura Mvula, London Grammar and Ben Abraham. I’m slowly reading My Dear Hamilton which is a fiction based on Eliza Hamilton’s life and re-reading Untamed by Glennon Doyle because I love it. I also got a new journal from Musings From The Moon which I’ve started writing in when I can. When I get a chance to watch TV I’ve been watching Morning Wars or if I need an old favourite then I’ll watch Friends or Gilmore Girls.

I get my best work done when…

The sun is shining, I’ve had a coffee, I’m not pressed for time and I don’t have a lot of distractions around me.

My productivity tool/tip is…

Do the tasks you don’t want to do FIRST and exercise early. The endorphins kick in and help your brain to function. It always makes me feel like I’ve earned my sleep that night and I’ve done one challenging thing that day and succeeded.

A philosophy I live and work by is…

Do your absolute best every single day and hold yourself to the highest standards, with love.

Something I’ve learned the hard way is…

My brain controls more than I think it does. Thoughts are powerful. Kindness to yourself and being gentle with yourself is imperative to being successful so as to not get in your own way. Also, sometimes we just need rest… Still working on that one.

Hamilton’s Australian production has been extended to Melbourne! Tickets for the Melbourne season will go on sale Monday 19 July 2021, with pre-sale tickets available to Telstra Plus members here from 10am, Thursday 24 June.

Tickets for the Sydney season are currently on sale here through to 19 December 2021.

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iamyemzi · 5 years

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#YemziGirl Feature 37 (March) - Sasha Corbin - Netball Player for Saracens Mavericks and the England Roses

#YemziGirl Interview March, Sasha Corbin, Professional Netball Player

Please describe what you do, where you are from (and your age if you feel comfortable)

My name is Sasha Corbin, I am was born and raised in Tottenham, London. I have a Caribbean background from both Jamaica and Barbados. I am a full time netball player playing for Saracens Mavericks and the England Roses.

Was it watching your Mum compete in Netball matches as a young girl or compulsory P.E lessons that triggered your interest in playing the sport professionally? Watching my mum be physically active in a sport she loved was super inspiring growing up. My mum never pushed me into playing netball in fact my mum gave me a menu of sports try and netball wasn’t one of them. Maybe subconsciously watching her play it gave the sport the edge in my mind however, it most definitely was my school teacher and PE lessons that sealed the deal. I’d never played netball properly before going to secondary school. Have you been focussed on netball from the beginning or did you have a plan B? I knew I loved performing so I don’t think it mattered how I done it. I loved dance, drama & sports (mainly athletics because I really wanted to go to the Olympics. However, when I found myself progressing and playing at a higher level for England at Under 19 level, I started to take netball very seriously and slowly it became my dream to play for the senior team.

What does it mean to be captain of your team? I am currently the Saracens Mavericks captain and honestly it is an absolute privilege to lead such a fantastic group of athletes at a club that is close to my heart. I have strengths and weaknesses like any other person but what’s exciting is that we have many leaders in our team. What does your training regime look like? Training can be intense, weeks do vary but usually we have to fit in 2 weights sessions, 2/3 netball team trainings, 1 speed and agility session, 1 endurance session, a few wall work sessions, recovery sessions and of course we play matches once or twice a week. We are looking at about 20hrs of training a week. Do you have to limit yourself on your tasty traditional dishes to keep in shape? It’s funny because over the years I’v become so much more disciplined with my food choices. I eat to fuel, I need the energy to be able to perform at the highest level consistently. I still love my Caribbean dishes, I have a thing for Thai and seafood at the moment so I’ll keep blessing the pallets with these flavours. At the moment I get a lot of my meals from mindful chef, they deliver a box to my house and I just cook the ingredients. It works for me and my busy schedule. I allow myself to have 1 treat meal or cheat snack ie (minstrels or skittles lol) every now and then.

You've played Netball in countless countries across the world! What has been your most memorable place to play? Playing netball I have visited some amazing counties, we've played Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, Malwi, Barbados & Jamaica to name my top few. Its hard to name just one but I was lucky enough to play in a New Zealand for a season and I got to experience some hidden gems in that country. The sport is booming over there and I just never knew how beautiful the people and country was. Tell us about #SoloSessions… Solo Sessions is a real passion of mine, I set up a youtube channel ‘Sasha Corbin - Solo Sessions UK’ purely to share netball training ideas so that players would know what to do if they wanted to polish their skills away from their team. Netball is a team sport and the reality is you can’t train with your team every day of the week. Solo Sessions has now ventured on where I coach schools, clubs, university teams, 1:1’s as a tool to inspire and motivate players. You can find us on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter too @SoloSessionsUK

Which skills have you learned on court which have been transferable off-court? Leadership, patience, dealing with failure, celebrating success, motivating myself, being resilient, pushing myself to the limit, pushing boundaries for myself, setting targets long term and short term and living in the moment. Congratulations on your recent sponsorship with Nike! Are you sponsored by any other brands and do you have dream collaborations which you'd like to bring to fruition? England Netball are sponsored by Nike which is fantastic for our sport, to be making boss moves with a major global sponsor is amazing and I can only see the partnership & our sport growing. If any major global brand reached out to help build my visions surrounding inspiring others & spreading my passion for the game I’d be over the moon. I just want to make an impact and bring positivity into peoples lives.

What has been your greatest career achievement so far? Representing England at major championships with my team and sharing the court with my sister Kadeen Corbin. Also a career highlight would be overcoming injuries and adversity and believing in myself.

What advice would you give to anyone interested in playing netball and potentially becoming a world-class professional? Go above and beyond to understand the game, understand your body and what your super strengths are. Work on your weaknesses, believe in yourself. Take every opportunity, make sure you're playing for a club that’s testing you and taking you to the next level. Most importantly HAVE FUN!!! You play your best netball when your having fun. And finally what is your favourite quote? Believe in yourselfNo one is you and that is your power!

SASHA CORBIN - www.sashacorbin.co.uk

Facebook: @SashaCorbinNetball

Instagram | Twitter: @Sasha_Corbin

SOLO SESSIONS - Youtube

Facebook | Instagram | Twitter

@SoloSessionsUK

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ghostmartyr · 6 years

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I am so sad and mad about how Isayama ruined Historia's and Ymir's story arcs and their characterizations. Two girls who have been hated just for being born and existing decide to live for themselves and for each other.... but then the other one decides that she should die and the other one decides to become a baby making machine?! That makes no sense! What happened to that promise about living for themselves? Why would Ymir suddenly decide to die?

I’m going to answer several of these in the same post. I don’t know if they’re all from you, but they are all of a similar vein, and I think having them together might help some.

So first of all, this is exactly why I have to believe there’s more to it. Because you have the two characters who are defined by their fights against fate bowing to it. Before I left the fandom, comments about the inevitability of both of their storylines were fairly common.

That is partially why they make no sense, and disregarding that is disregarding an essential theme of both characters.

The fact that it seems inevitable that Historia is doomed to have children to continue her line (even before this latest stuff, that was one of the most common criticisms of her having the happy ending of marrying Ymir), and inevitable that saving Reiner and Bertolt for two months would cost Ymir her life–

That’s what both of them are trying to fight.

“Evennow… There’s no way the three of us can make it back safely, is there?!”“There is.”

Ymir is the one who looks at impossible situations, and through the power of fuck you, gets herself and the people who matter to her out of them.

Marley stones her and will kill and rape the girl she loves. Her decision to help Reiner and Bertolt gives them an extra weapon to help that along. She calls Reiner and Bertolt small fry. They have very little influence. Helping them achieves nothing for her and gives people who began her personal nightmare a present. With how things are in Marley, it’s very unlikely that Reiner and Bertolt’s failure would have led to either of them losing their Titans; they’re too well trained.

Ymir’s sacrifice, as written, is meaningless and empty, and stands in opposition to everything about her character that has been established.

Something being “inevitable” for these two is a sign of something for them to fight, not something for them to endure.

Then we have Historia.

I am really confused about the direction Historia’s character arc has gone. Ymir inspired Historia to live a life she’s proud of and to live for herself….only for Historia to become a tool, a baby factory???

I have said previously that I have no issue with her agreeing to take on the Beast Titan. Jumping at sacrifice is pretty well ingrained, even with her knowing that maybe she shouldn’t. She’s brave, and willing.

She also doesn’t think.

Kristoria has zero intention of killing Daz. She still comes very close to killing him because she’s so caught up in her own personal drama of depression and death that she misses the way out. When she realizes that, she’s horrified.

Historia condemning any child to eating its mother and dying thirteen years later is bullshit. I’m not saying it couldn’t be done, but the way it’s written as of the moment, Historia gets zero thought bubbles. She is not given any agency; she’s the damsel in distress.

She’s the one who has the best understanding of what doing this to children would mean. She’s lived that life.

She is given no material about how profoundly she’s rejected exactly this in the past before it appears to happen. She’s just caught in the crossfire of inevitability. Of a new cycle of sacrifice. A figure for everyone to look at and say oh, how sad, but what did you expect.

It is a complete destruction of everything we know about her character, and it is done with no attention to how it would impact her or her emotions. She is thrust into the position of bystander in her own life.

I don’t talk about this stuff very often anymore, because I can’t talk about it without losing my temper. I can’t talk about it without remembering how deeply I hate this fandom. I can’t talk about it without remembering how fucking pissed I am about all of it.

So when I respond to this and the rest of these, I don’t want to come off as patronizing. I get it. I get it better than I want to. I get wanting to light every volume of the manga on fire, because with where the story is, it feels like everything that’s come before it is a colossal waste, and if the author isn’t going to honor his story’s internal consistency, why the fuck should I even care.

And that’s why I don’t think things are as they look.

The idea that both characters have been abandoned this thoroughly is very easy to jump to, because on the surface, that’s what’s going on. Their characters are introduced and established solely to be brought to their utter ruin.

That is not the story that’s been told so far.

It takes something like sixty chapters for us to find out how Grisha and Keith know each other. After one throwaway line. Annie and her crystal disappear outside of flashbacks for around seventy chapters.

Ymir proposing to Historia is one of the most popular gags, and it happens once. In the first chapter of the second volume. Eighty chapters later, it’s referenced.

RAB have a ton of panels dedicated to establishing their shadiness that went largely unnoticed until the reveal.

Historia’s bond with Ymir is what breaks a century of her family’s bloodstained traditions.

The chapter named after Ymir is the one where she shouts about how marching into death is fucking cowardly.

I will agree, wholeheartedly, that Ymir and Historia look to have been screwed over by the story worse than anyone else in the entire series. For all the bad things that have happened, few of them can claim to be an active regression and denial of everything the characters are as people. By which I mean none of them are.

Except, arguably, Eren’s arc and current characterization.

Which receives constant critical attention within canon itself.

Ymir and Historia’s arcs have not yet received such a spotlight.

The only thing contributing to the idea that things are not how they look–is that this story has never been told this way before. It kills people off before it betrays their character.

Historia reads Ymir’s letter and asks if that’s it.

Galliard’s introduction in human form is him being confused by Ymir volunteering to give Jaws back.

This is not a story unaware of what it is doing. Questionable material is not called out just to have a lampshade thrown on it and call it good enough. If something questionable is happening, it has always been recognized as such within the actual canon.

Ymir and Historia included.

Vaguely. With not nearly as many highlighted points as they deserve. But it has not gone unnoticed.

They’ve both, very specifically, been given a script that runs exactly counter to their themes.

Either the story’s crap and it pays no attention to itself, something that the rest of the manga argues strongly against, or something is up.

I want to believe something’s up. The alternative really is a story that doesn’t care about itself, and that has never been this story. The thought of it falling that low makes me really sad.

There’s an entire manga surrounding Ymir and Historia that says it hasn’t. This is not over yet, and until it is over, I’m going to hold out hope.

Because yeah, the writing as it is makes zero sense. It’s borderline impossible for the writing to have failed itself this badly. So:

“How often have I said to you that when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth?”

I get why that’s not a popular perspective. What’s going on with Ymir and Historia is rage-inducing. The fact that there might be a reprieve months down the line, and that being the most positive thing I can say to keep people’s hopes up… yeah. Despair and anger comes a lot easier when things are this fucked.

But I really, really don’t think that’s all there is to it.

If Historia isn’t truly pregnant, then why does she look so miserable? I myself also hope that her pregnancy is fake, because I can’t understand why Historia would agree on becoming a labor machine and inherit the Beast Titan, when she previously refused her father’s plans about becoming a Titan. Why would she now be okay with it? Also, what about Ymir’s words to Historia about living her life with pride? Why would Historia suddenly not live her life with pride?

Same thing, right? This backtracks on all the characterization we know, and without even a properly paced bridge showing how minds were theoretically changed. So pretty much all of the above.

As for the misery, though, one of my theories is that the house is being watched. The government is not that friendly towards the Queen. If the plan is for them to believe that Historia’s pregnant, she has to put on that skit. If the people watching believe that it’s a scheme to save Zeke’s hide/step one of the breeding program, she has no reason to look happy.

And she probably isn’t. Even if everything else was okay, Sasha just died. One of her closest friends is dead, and she doesn’t get to go to the funeral.

One of her other closest friends is off massacring people, ruining her country’s public image even further (which how the fuck, it was already terrible), and her role in this. Her mission. Is to stay on a farm, alone, helping none of them.

Historia’s always left behind, these days. She can’t go to Shiganshina. She can’t go to Marley. She can’t even go out in public or help around the farm, since she has to be gentle with her body and care for the “baby.”

She has a million reasons to feel miserable, and no one close to her seems to even give a damn. It’s implied heavily by Hange that sacrificing Historia is moved forward on the agenda thanks to Eren’s actions. Eren doesn’t appear to give a fuck. Not a single one of her friends even mentions her.

The only people talking about Historia are drunk MPs, basically calling her a slut, and bitching about the inconvenience of that; Kaya, who brings her up as a distant figure responsible for good orphan policies; and Hange, who uses her to try and spark a conversation with Eren.

As far as the plot has cared to reveal, no one alive could possibly care less about Historia and her problems.

Even if the pregnancy’s fake, that takes a toll. She’s fighting her battle, whatever it is, entirely alone. Unless we count NPC Farmer Guy. Who she constantly looks moments away from skewering with her eyes.

Of course she’s miserable.

It’s a pity as Isayama continues to exclude Historia from the narrative as if it were nothing although I must say that this manga has a horrible tendency to the fanatical women of guys who “marked” it until Yelena is a fangirl of shit when I thought I was going to be a great character though What do you think about that? Personally I never had faith in the Yumihisu, not because of its plot, but because the Japanese mangakas always have the tendency that they all fall in love with the protagonist

Yelena has always been a fanatical devotee of Titans. I can understand why that characterization isn’t as fun as the badass helpful one who shoots people, but Yelena’s backstory is all about looking up at Zeke (possible sociopath, routine mass-murderer) and seeing God.

This is… about the fallout I’d expect from that. She wants the person who currently wields the power of god to embrace its full glory and etc. etc. There’s a lot about that that alarms me, and I do greatly prefer Yelena as the person who’s bright, calm, and helpful over the desperate devotee, but. She follows Zeke. She views power and morality in some pretty terrifying ways. That coming across palatably is up to individual preference.

I think Yelena is still allowed to exist as her own person, though. Extreme worship can be an uncomfortable thing, especially when it’s a woman looking at a role currently fulfilled by men. Blah blah blah misogyny and not letting female characters develop unless a guy’s involved, blah blah blah media is The Worst.

Like, I won’t try to argue that’s not a thing, so it’s usually worth looking at those trappings with a healthy degree of caution.

But Yelena worships the power. She wants Eren to develop his own mind over how to use it. She looks up at these gods, and she wants to watch.

That is not an empty, sexy lampshade characterization. To be honest, it’s kind of terrifying. She’s the most pragmatic about murder among the Anti-Marleyan Volunteers. She’s aggressively against anything that might show even a hint of loyalty to Marley, even people she has close ties to.

She shoots people without flinching. She hates Marley. She’s on Eldia’s side, and what’s coming out makes it look like she’s on Eldia’s side because she sees Titans as a blessing while everyone else in the history of the planet, even Eren’s damn cult, sees devils.

You’ll find unfortunate implications in most things if you stop to look, but unfortunate implications are not the sum total of a character and a character’s arc unless things have really gone off the rails. Yelena being a fanatical devotee of gods that happen to be possessed by men does have its worrying elements, but she’s also a fleshed out character with her own agency and motivation built in. Tropes are where the story begins. If they also end there, yeah, that’s a problem. In Yelena’s case, it’s very firmly only a beginning.

As for Ymir and Historia…

We do not live in a world where trusting authors to handle femslash in mainstream media goes well. You’ll have your gems, but like. One of my favorite ships of all time, where the writers got it, where it had the best writing and best slow burn and best everything–still has one half dying the episode after they’re reunited after a season-long separation.

There are reasons for that, and I do not blame the writers for how they distributed their resources or story’s pacing (I still very much like the story, and enthusiastically dig what was done with the death).

That’s still how it went down. A great story, told brilliantly, and oh look she’s dead.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The fact of the matter is, a story could roll out the red carpet for every single insulting trope that faces queer pairings, and check each one off the list intentionally, making it as offensive as possible, and the collective fandom consciousness would probably nod and say yeah, that sounds about right.

We have not been conditioned to trust queer ships. We probably have been conditioned to distrust their writers. It’s what makes those fandoms… kind of high-strung. I say that with as much respect as I can, because I’m definitely not above any of that, but yeah. The fandom environment for this stuff tends to be rabid hope followed by burning all concept of hope to the ground, because hope is a worthless daydream that doesn’t actually exist.

Usually because even authors who do genuinely care do not get why people are so damn cagey about this. Not getting it leads to things that feel like pretty basic, conventional tragic writing that audiences eat up, but are in fact the harbingers of fandom apocalypse.

Ymir and Historia are a beautiful story. Maybe it’ll turn out that they’ll be as screwed up as everyone’s been shouting about since 93, but everything in canon has always been respectful of how much they mean to each other.

I understand why so many people are upset and unwilling to hold out for things to be less. this. This sucks. This really, really sucks, and even if it all turns out okay, that’s months away. Optimistically.

I don’t blame anyone for being bitter, or not wanting to stick that through. I am well beyond bitter, and regularly wish I cared a little less so I could just check in once the series is over and not go through this chaos of uncertainty.

However, I do still believe that there’s room for the story that means so much to us to be respected. I do still believe that it’s not over, even if the actual ending still isn’t as happy as we want it to be.

When the writing is this explicitly destructive of everything that’s come before, there’s a story to that, and this series’ stories have always been good ones.

Told with the grace of a month-old puppy, which is what we’re experiencing now, but still ultimately worth experiencing.

The active pursuit of doom and gloom in the manga has always been used to kick off an arc. So far, light has always shone through in the end.

Nothing’s broken beyond repair yet, even if it feels that way.

#attack on asks #still no tag for these because #whoops

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