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lemonmelonboy · 6 months

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Lonely for the First Time Ever

Jack x Reader

TW: Ian /j, Cheating, Loneliness

Content: GN!Reader

Word Count: 3317

Summary: My own fun take on Day 1 (?) of Somethings Wrong with Sunny Day Jack.

18+ Readers ONLY - Minors Do NOT Interact! Minors/Ageless Blogs will be Blocked!!!

I Do NOT give any permission for my work to be Reposted, Translated, or used with AI in ANY Capacity!!!

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You had just dragged yourself out of your apartment after being called in to cover your flakey co-worker for possibly the millionth time that year. You surely missed your days off at this point, wishing to have just one every week rather than every other week. You sighed heavily walking down the sidewalk, as Jack trailed alongside you. It was cold and stormy, the rain was pelting the sidewalk and cars were passing by in a slum. It was such a peaceful walk.

You walked silently with Jack politely carrying your umbrella; you had protested but he very much insisted he take it for you. The rain soothed your racing mind, but that only made it so you thought slower about the things on your mind. You ran over what had just happened before you were rudely interrupted by your boss’s phone call. How Jack had held you so close, how you imagined kissing him for a brief moment, and how you wish you had. You mulled it over and over, unable to shake the image of the cuddly Jack. How Jack had looked at you with those love sick eyes. How bad you wanted to stay. Thoughts raced about why, which brought up feelings from the past few months. But as you slipped into your thoughts Jack gently bumped your arm, a playful event that he’d tend to do on your walks. It made you smile, he always knew how to make you smile, especially with little things like that. You look around trying to keep yourself in the present, but the pittering of the rain on the umbrella and sidewalk luls you back into thoughts of Jack and your loneliness.

“Sunshine?” Jack's voice cooed kindly. You looked up to him, suddenly pulled back.

“Hm?” you looked around as you realized you almost walked straight by your work. A soft embarrassed blush works its way across your cheeks.

You slip into the door, walking to the back to set your things down, ignoring Barry’s comments on how thankful he is you could come in and how absolutely sorry he is for having to do it. When you come back from the back of the store you find he had already left. You sigh as you find yourself alone in the shop, going through your list of menial tasks for the day. You work quietly as Jack hangs around, quietly helping when he can. It's weird to have him be so comfortable with how quiet you’re being. Usually he does anything to try to fill the silence, like whistling a small tune. However the man who stood before you now would only give you an encouraging smile whenever you looked at him and never said a word, not until you spoke up.

“Jack..” You sighed his name as you relaxed against the counter having finished all the tasks you needed to. You didn’t even have anything to tell, least not in a way you knew how. He perked up like a puppy being offered a treat.

“Yes, sunshine?” he asks sweetly. You looked at him and could feel your body warm as you saw his happy face and his kind eyes looking at you almost needingly. You mull over a single thought in your head and he can see you are resisting saying what you were thinking. “Is everything alright?” his happy look slowly fades to concern. Then he looks away with a soft blush on his cheeks. “It's okay to want that.. to want to be wanted..” he said breathily and quietly, almost like he was embarrassed by his own words.

“Wh-what are you saying?'' How did he know? You were sure you were only thinking to yourself, and you weren’t a vocal thinker.

“I just… sometimes people are like that for you, and it's okay to have a person you want to be with all the time… to want them to want you… and wanting them..?” He ended it like a question, almost like he wanted you to just admit it all to him right then and there.

“Wha- I- '' You didn’t know what you should say to him. You were so embarrassed at the implication that he was who you wanted- or the implication you wanted someone else.

“Do you… want me?” he asked, quieter than ever. He was still pretty blunt with it- looking at you with a pair of hopeful puppy eyes that made your body scream for you to just say “yes” and let him hold you. “I know it's hard to say- but I can help you learn what words to use to express these feelings.” He gently urges, moving closer to you reaching out almost as if he was ready to hug you, and hold you and possibly never let go.

“But- I- it's just that’s- you can’t just ask something like that- I-“ He moves closer, his hands resting on the counter behind you, he makes a point of not touching you yet, but wanting to get closer to you. A warmth spreads over your face into a sweet blush as you figure out how to answer. You felt in that moment that you wanted him to hold you, to grab you the best he could.

“I want to be there for you- whether you want me like that or not.. I’ll be there for you however you need me- I just want what’s best for you- What will make you happy-'' suddenly your phone starts ringing, interrupting Jack and causing him to step away. A soft frustrated look comes over his face as he looks away. You take up the cell phone, glad to have been interrupted right then, afraid if he continued your heart would have given out.

“Oh- Uh- I'll be- back!”

Jack nods slightly, “It might be important- so- don’t worry alright? I’ll still be here when you get back!” He said encouragingly as he let you walk past him.

You really shouldn’t be taking calls at work, but you didn’t care. You also didn't care if the call was spam and you picked it up without checking the name plastered on the screen. You quickly ducked to the kitchen camera blind spot.

“Hello?” You spoke with that pitch in your voice encouraging the person calling to speak. You were hopeful it was something that would take your mind off everything.

“You picked up-“ an all too familiar voice came through, in awe, and dripping with desperation. You froze, the last person you ever wanted to hear, especially with how your day was going. Ian. “Hey..” He spoke again, trying to fill in your quiet response. You hadn’t forgotten about him, but you hadn’t expected he’d call you while you were at work. “Are you alright?” he asked with concern in his voice.

“Ye-yeah, I’m fine..” You could hear him sigh softly in relief as you responded.

“I-I’ve missed you… and your voice..” he almost whimpered into the phone.

“What- what do you need Ian. I’m- at work, you can’t be calling me like this” You asked quietly, surprise still filling your tone more than any anger or demandingness.

“I-I know,, I didn't expect you to pick up! I-I’m sorry…” Ian said, he sounded so sad, and you do feel a little bad. He was your life long friend, and what felt like even longer lover. But he hurt you, and objectively you know you shouldn’t feel sorry for him, or how you treat him.

“You’ve said.. And I don’t forgive you Ian.. You know I am still mad at you.” There’s silence from him. You bite your quivering lip, pushing back a sob, thinking he must be feeling the same. “I-” You huff out, collecting yourself before you continue. “I’m trying to move on.” You say, a little sad hearing yourself say it.

“You’re- You’re what...” you can hear his heart break more in his voice, and you might’ve felt it just a bit yourself. “You’re not,, with someone right? Because… I am trying. I am going to fix this… And-” You cut him off

“Ian... Its not your problem whether I am with someone or not… We aren’t… We are not us anymore. So- what I do isn’t any concern for you...” You speak in a soft frustrated tone, you try to give him patience especially since you’ve trapped yourself into this conversation.

“But... can't it? Be, my problem? I-I need to make this up to you… You’re… All I’ve had since we were little- and… We’ve been through so much I- and I know this is my fault- and I need to fix this. Please. Let me fix this… Fix us…” he begged, and somewhere in you, you could feel the need to let him, to just give him the time to “fix” what he did, just so you could have him back. So you could feel less lonely. But no, you wouldn’t be able to handle it if he cheated on you again.

Breaking up with Ian was just as big of a loss for you as it was for him. You both lost someone you never thought you would. And God you had loved him. And who knows, maybe you still did, just a little. He took your silence as an urge for him to continue making his case. “I know I can make it up to you... I promise... I miss you so much- I-I want you so badly. And- I’ll be there soon to show you that what I’m saying is true '' he ends his statement with a happy hum, almost proud. You couldn’t take it anymore, you could hear customers in the front of the clowny yogurt shop come in, chatting modestly among themselves

“Goodbye... Ian.” you say, colder than you would’ve thought you could. You hung up before he could beg you to stay and talk to him more. You take a few slow calming breaths and turn to leave, noticing Jack standing in the doorway of the kitchen.

“Jack…” you mutter to yourself, afraid he might’ve overheard the call. He looks to you with a concerned kindness, one that he tends to give you whenever you notice Ian called you and left another message. You look away from Jack and walk quickly past him into the store, slapping on your customer service face and attitude.

Greeting the group of boys mulling in the front of the store. They seem preoccupied going through the yogurt flavors, which unfortunately gives you the time to think through things again. Your mind drifts, thinking of memories of Ian, clearer now than they had been that morning. One memory in particular, it was how he had looked when you kicked him out after finding out he had cheated on you. After running that memory in your mind a few times the memory of meeting Jack slowly started playing too. It hadn’t been long after Ian had left either, and you still weren’t completely sure where he came from. If he was a hallucination, could it have been your loneliness that made you imagine this pretty clown man to befriend you? Maybe that was why he was so attached to you? But, Jack certainly felt real, everytime he touched you, it felt real and so very safe. Maybe you did want him? Your thoughts were broken by a shy dark haired boy who stood in front of you. He couldn’t have been much younger than you, and he sported a gray and black shirt with a large black coat.

“We’re ready- to uh- pay- whenever you are?” he seemed nervous, a light blush spreading over his cheeks as he looked away from you, shifting nervously on his feet. One of the guys in the group set down the last of the three yogurt cups onto the scale, and you finish up their transaction. As two of the three guys start to leave the guy in the dark clothing lingers, glancing slyly at you, trying not to stare but also seeming to also want to admire you. “So- uh- you- work here often?” His blush deepens and he looks away again, clearly embarrassed. You can't help but be confused, annoyed and a little humored by his awkwardness.

“Yeah- unfortunately” you reply, attempting to give a light hearted air to your words.

“C-cool- Cool.” he pushes out, almost relieved you didn't call him an idiot. He seems at a loss for words now too, wanting to continue the conversation but feeling too awkward. He makes small noises before he takes his frozen yogurt and walks out. Once he’s gone you give a sigh and a light smile lingers on your face as you think about how silly that interaction was.

The rain continues to pound outside and your day drones on uneventfully and lacking any customers. Soon enough it was time to close and you did so quickly and happily. By the time you were finished with your last sweep you almost skipped out of the store. Jack smiled softly to you as you locked the door, him holding your umbrella once again. Once you were ready you turned around and the pair of you quietly walked home. He nudges you again about half way through the walk, his familiar gentle motion to let you know he was still around.

Once home you quickly kick off your shoes and flop onto your couch with a heavy sigh. You relax with your eyes closed and a gentle sigh. God you needed this seat.

“Hey.. sunshine?” Jack's soft cooing voice sang as you felt his weight and warmth settle in next to you. “Can I ask- who’s Ian..?” he asked softly. You rolled your head up to look at Jack.

“He’s..” Your gaze falls away from the kind caring clown. “An ex..” You gently hug yourself as you feel yourself become warm from all your emotions washing through you. You wanted to talk about him with Jack. You wanted to get it out. You haven’t really told anyone about what happened. Jack wraps a comforting arm around you after seeing you close in on yourself. His other hand rests on your arms, encouraging you to open up. You swallow your emotion like its pill stuck in your throat, then you continue. “He was all I had since we were kids.. Best friends forever- least we were supposed to be..” You felt your lips gently quiver before shaking your head to try to push it away. “and,, as we had gotten older we became something.. More. I don't think we ever officially labeled it- but we both had the mutual understanding that- we were who the other wanted for,, forever..” You huff softly as you feel the sadness hit you harder than before and Jack pulls you into him. He hugs you just to let you know he’s listening and understanding, to let you know you’re safe.

“So why does it seem like you’re so upset with him.. if you,,” he lingers before continuing “if you.. love him” that question hung in the air for a while. After you don’t respond for a while Jack gently leads your head to look up to him. “I’m sorry if that was too much, sunspot. If you can’t-” You shake your head softly, almost nuzzling into his hand.

“No- no it’s okay Jack,,” you mumble while looking up to him with sad eyes. “Ian.. cheated on me..” You mutter before turning away, almost ashamed to admit it. He pulls you back, running his thumb over your cheek to soothe you.

“I’m so sorry…” he whispers sweetly to you. He was making you feel so cared for and safe and you craved every touch he gave.

“And…” you felt your eyes slowly start to water. “He was all I had for so long... that when I made him leave I… became so very lonely.” You almost whimper to Jack, trying your best not to cry as you spoke. “I miss him so much Jack...” you whisper as you hide your watery eyes against his hand. “Then you came and you were so safe and I'm afraid I don’t feel genuine enough- like I should for you… or if I just feel these things for you because I can’t for Ian.” Tears pour from your eyes as you bite your lip, your voice and body shaking as you fight back sobs. Jack kindly rubs your back and swipes away the tears running down your cheeks.

“And because of that- I'm- afraid I make myself more lonely by pushing you away because I- don't wanna hurt you…but I still probably do hurt you..” You shake your head looking away and leaning against Jack's chest. He softly shushes you and hugs you tightly as you gently sob into him. “And you're so open, and honest, and kind and I don’t know if I’m completely able to feel all of this emotion as much as I want to- just… feel you hold me like this” you whimper as you cling against Jack, gripping his shirt tightly in your hands.

“It’s okay... I’ll be here for you however you need me… always” he promises you, resting his cheek against the top of your head and gently nuzzling. “You don’t have to tell me what you don’t feel you can,, you don’t have to do anything- feel anything you don’t want to feel.” He gives you a firm squeeze as you slowly calm down “You’re perfect…you didn’t deserve what they did to you- but it's okay to feel bad… or even miss them...” His words are like honey, slowly creeping into all your painful thoughts and soothing them, lessening their raw, burning pain. Being heard, letting it out, had helped tremendously. Especially with how Jack was holding you, close and warm.

“I’m sorry...” You murmur, feeling Jack’s hand on your back slowing. “I’m so sorry if I’ve hurt you,, or disappointed you or burdened you or- '' Jack sits up and grabs your face gently. Holding you on either side with his hands, making you look him in the eye.

“None of that sunspot.” He said firmly, his eyes full of nothing but determined care. “You. Are. Perfect.” he says again “You are so amazing- Please never say any of that again” he demanded, his thumb running over your cheek. You look at him with adoration and understanding. You were so close. You nod softly and nuzzle into his hands, soaking up his sweet comforting warmth.

“Jack...” you whisper before looking up to him again with your eyes lingering on his lips. Before you know it, your body draws itself into Jack’s more and your lips find their way to pressing up against his. You feel him push back against your kiss, his hands holding you firm against him. You reach up and gently take one of his hands to lace your fingers together. You felt so overwhelmed with love at that moment. You didn’t want to pull away, but you felt Jack’s lips slowly retreat. You open your eyes and spot Jack’s deep red cheeks and fond eyes looking at you.

“I'm so glad you’re feeling better sunshine.” He says sweetly, and you instinctively nuzzle into the hand against your cheek, turning your head and gently giving it a kiss. That only seems to fluster Jack more. He pulls you against him again, similar to how the pair of you were seated earlier that morning, but this time you didn’t hesitate to kiss Jack as soon as you were situated. The pair of you layed there, trading soft and passionate pecks. Jack occasionally whispers loving praises to you, and soon, you fall asleep in exhaustion against his chest.

#somethings wrong with sunny day jack #swwsdj #sdj #sdj ian #sdj jack #sdj x reader #sunny day jack #sunnydayjack #sunny day jack x reader #sunny day jack x mc #sdj nick #joseph cullman #joseph haberdae #jack haberdae #sdj jacktor #gn!reader #gn!mc #gn reader #gn!y/n

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bza-vix · 5 months

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I need a big boy

#sdj #sunny day jack #sunny day jack fanart #swwsdj #sdj fanart #sdj jack #joseph haberdae #sdj joseph #Sunnydayjackfanart #sdj jacktor

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elfqueen006 · 2 months

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Trash

Tags: roommates, the 80s, alcohol mention, Joseph sucks a bit in this, unrequited love, canon divergent

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“Come on, baby, please?”

You hear Joseph’s voice in the living room as you throw on some clothes. You decide to listen in, curious. Who’s on the chopping block this time?

“Just… please send me some cash, I’ll take you out and we can have a sweet time tonight.” he said, speaking honey sweet words into the receiver. “I’ll make it worth your while. What do you say?”

You push your door open carefully so as not to make a sound, stepping out into the hallway.

“No- no, baby! Baby…” he pleaded profusely before his expression soured. “Fucking bitch!” he yelled, slamming the phone onto the hook. At the same time you shut the door and hurried out from the hallway.

“You called?”

Joseph pinched the bridge of his nose, “I said fucking bitch…”

“Oh, thought you said (Name).”

Joseph chuckles and his initial bad mood seems to be forgotten once he sees you’re carrying a wallet. “I was wondering where that was. Couldn’t find it in your jacket.” He nods to the aforementioned, hanging on the coat rack. When you moved in it had just been there. ‘Came with the room,’ your landlord said, but you thought better of that. You just assumed someone left it and brushed it off with a shrug; after all, who doesn’t like free stuff?

You raised a brow, “You went through my jacket?”

He smiles, “Of course I did.” Of course he did.

“Besides, you told me to help myself to whatever I wanted. Your food is mine, mine is yours, etcetera…”

“I was referring to the kitchen and television, Joseph.”

You don’t even know why you were explaining that. He obviously knew, otherwise he wouldn’t be giving you that “yes I’m a bastard but don’t you wanna pinch my cheeks?” face.

“I only found sixty-two cents anyway.” he muttered.

“Did you keep it?”

“No, It wasn’t even enough for a pack of cigarettes.”

“The economy…” you said.

Joseph shrugged and flopped down on the couch, his massive weight pushing it back a bit. You wince when it hits the wall.

“Easy on the couch, you know shit here is cheap..” you said.

“So you should have no problem buying another one.” Joseph replied. He barely helped pay the rent enough as is, so why would he pitch in for the furniture? You supposed you couldn’t hold it against him though, his ex-girl over the phone was probably going to be half of this month’s rent.

He sees you throwing on your jacket and raises up slightly, “Where ya going?”

“To get a drink,” you said. The man’s eyes light up at that and he instantly hops off the couch.

“Oh, hang on! Lemme get my jacket too!”

“I’m only getting a pack of wine coolers.” you said, but Joseph was already coming back in his ratty corduroy.

“I’ll take a smidgen of anything with alcohol in it right now, let’s just go!” he then began to pull you along with him out the door.

You didn’t get wine coolers like you planned. After a lot of hassling from Joseph he convinced you to come to a small bar on the side of the wall of a building. One of the places he frequented most likely, as everyone knew him by name. The bartender regarded him with annoyance and mild amusement as he spouted some schmoozy words about his day and why he’d be late on his payment that day.

“Put it on my tab? Thanks.” Joseph said with a smile.

“Can I just have a coke?” you asked.

You heard Joseph scoff beside you, “Really? What happened to wine coolers?”

“The stuff from here is too pricey…”

“I literally come here because the shit here is cheap!” Joseph said.

“If it’s so cheap, why don’t you pay your tab on time?” The bartender said, pouring you a glass of coke.

“I just never have it when I need it!”

“When you need it, you’re spending it on booze.” You muttered into your cup.

Abruptly Joseph stood up, waving the two of you off. “Fuck the both of you…”

Sighing, you continue to nurse your drink. Then, deciding to look over the menu’s cheaper options, you decide it wouldn't be a big loss to spike your drink a bit. You hold out your cup to the bartender asking him for a shot of low quality liquor in your coke.

Joseph is taking a while to come back from…wherever the hell he is. At first, you assumed he was going to the bathroom. You hoped he didn’t ditch you with the tab.

The bartender leaned down on the bar counter, getting eye level with you. “So, you with him?” he asked.

“Yeah but I’m not paying for his tab.” you replied simply.

“No, I mean like, is he your man?”

You scrunch your nose and you can’t tell if it’s because of the question or your drink’s sharp taste. You simply shook your head, looking elsewhere.

The bartender hums, “Do you like him?”

“Yeah… he’s nice.” A quick glance at the bartender told you he wasn’t impressed with your answer. He was clearly digging for more. Perhaps some gossip. And while that wasn’t your thing exactly, you found yourself confessing to something you didn’t think would come out of your mouth.

“I don’t date guys like Joseph.”

“What are guys like Joseph?”

“...”

Trash. Scheming, whorish, trash. Like many other bumpkins, Joseph came to the city with a dime and a dream. They often leave with nothing, get lucky, or scrape for the scraps the big dogs leave behind. He was a lost puppy that couldn’t be kept and wanted something different than what you could give him. When he didn’t want anymore he left without warning, and took to the streets.

He was cut from an imbalanced cloth; born with good looks, a big dick, and bad judgment.

But you liked him. It was hard not to, he was attractive. He was funny. And he was confident, even when he was wrong. You were pretty sure that your fascination went beyond just wanting to sleep with him. But you knew who he was and his type. He’d confessed to trying to steal from you for chrissakes.

You couldn’t say you knew the exact outcome for Joseph, seeing as he was fairly new to the city. And there were times you wanted to help him get to where he’s going. But you didn’t want to be that person who fell for a grifter, sweet talked into giving when you had enough until you had nothing. Even if there were a chance he’d want you, convince you to elope with him on a motorbike, heading to wherever the wind took you – what would you have to show for it when the man you’d rely on had no sense and not a penny to his name?

Love?

“Well-”

“Guess who just got forty dollars easy, you bitches?” Joseph triumphantly boasted, slamming a couple of twenties with some change on the counter and sliding it towards the bartender.

“How’d you come up with that so fast?” you asked.

Joseph smirked, “I have my ways.”

In the next second, an older flushed man hastily pulled his pants up as he scrambled out of the bathroom; you gave an impressed nod.

“Lemme just…get that,” you swiped one of the twenties and pocketed it.

“Wh- hey! That could’ve covered half my tab!” Joseph protested.

“And now it’s covering half your rent,” you said, grinning at him.

Joseph sucked his teeth. “And here I was thinking you liked me for my smoldering personality.”

“Add on a bank account to that personality, and I might like you more than I do now.”

---

i think i'll make a part 2 to this. I originally planned for there to be smut, but I'm burnt out lowkey. I got several different drafts on the backburner.

#somethings wrong with sunny day jack #sunny day jack #sunny day jack fanfiction #sunny day jack x mc #sunny day jack x reader #sdj x reader #Joseph haberdae x reader #sdj joseph x reader #sdj jacktor x reader #sdj jacktor #snaccpop #my fics

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kurokrisps · 20 days

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❤️Bedazzled AU!!😈

"Remember, doll, there's no such thing as a free lunch~"

guys you'll need to forgive my obscure movie aus, because I will not stop making them.

#somethings wrong with sunny day jack #swwsdj #sunny day jack #sdj oc #oc: cloudy #sdj jacktor #sdj joseph #sdj fanart #sdj au #bedazzled #minors dont interact #kuro art

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luckyclovernb · 2 months

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Joseph not understanding modern references makes me chuckle.

#leaf art #sunny day jack #sunnydayjack #sdj fanart #swwsdj #sunny day jack oc #sunny day jack joseph #sdj joseph #sdj jacktor

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sunnydayroleplay · 6 months

Note

What is your headcanon on what Joseph Cullman was like before he was trying be a better person? Was he doing illegal activities or something bad? What was his day to day like as the old Joseph Cullman? What was the old Joseph Cullman like as a person and wat made Joseph want to be a better person?

Before I continue this head-cannon, yes I am back loves! And for good this time. It's been awhile, I've been super duper busy, but that's not gonna stop me from now on. I'll be posting on the weekends and the occasional Friday! (Or whenever I feel like it during the week) Thanks for the continuous support despite all that!! Now with that said...

Contents Inside: Joseph Cullman, Mentions of Drug/Substance Abuse, Alcohol, Child Abuse, and other sensitive topics.

18- DNI, this is a NSFW post and so is the game it is based off of. This is an 18+ community. It is for your own safety, and you interacting not only jeopardizes that, it jeopardizes mine, and the creators of the games.

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From what we can interpret in the video tapes of his interview, we learn that he was a "rebellious" child in his high-school years. Getting a tattoo, a few for that matter that are rather obviously large. It'd be surprising if his parents didn't notice a thing.

But before we can ask why that is, we have the question of:

Why is Joseph so rebellious and reckless in the first place?

Any good ol' fashioned Southern American family would teach their children some common manners, right? Or despite the undertones of possible racism and homophobia that were very common and still undergoing a "wipe-out" in a time where that would occur, children were still taught to treat their own kind how they'd want to be treated.

Now, I have talked a tad bit about Joseph's childhood and backstory before, which can be found here. (I also already sorta answered half your questions, but I wanted more detail in this post.)

To sum it up, I suspected that Joseph wasn't always this "bad child" that he always seems to hint at. He had good loving parents, a good school life, and plenty of good influences on his young, curious nature. He was nurtured but protected against the world that young children don't need to know about yet. But like an unfortunate amount of marriages, they all lead to disaster. Financial struggles appear. Maybe some ongoing infidelity, addiction. The marriage just got rocky, and the moment the curtains were closed, it was just one argument to the next.

"His parents couldn't afford to have a kid anymore. So they started neglecting him. Putting him up for adoption was a no-go. What would their parents think. Or all their peers the next time they got a job and suddenly everything went alright? They'd be right back to where they once were."

The moment Josephs parents began to neglect and ignore him, Joseph was oh so young, but old enough to comprehend that this is a life or death situation for him. He learned this via abuse. Whether it was his mother belittling and destroying anything that made Joseph chuckle remotely, or his father coming home from work drunk and letting off some steam on him.

"With the constant shitty home life, his school life was affected enormously. His grades went down, and he just got around with the wrong people. He was like any "out of place" child. All he truly wanted was attention and some sort of leverage to lean against. Someone to just listen because he's used to being ignored."

(Read the post, because I now realize I don't know how to summarize)

With that "summarized", we now know what his childhood was most likely. Take this with a grain of salt.

In the "Bad Yogurt" Ending, Jack says “You’ve changed. You’re clean now. You can be whatever you wanna be.” Leading me to believe that Joseph followed after his fathers footsteps. Alcohol and addiction to drugs. In the interview where we learned about how Joseph got his tattoos, which was in his high school years. Because of this I've come up with another headcanon/scenario.

Because Joseph was forced to grow up too fast, and practically raise himself, he's a smart kid. He doesn't believe he is, but he's truly a smart and talented kid. Though papers and his grades say otherwise, Joseph could turn everything around in a minute or two if he chose too. However, due to the gravitational decline on his mental health and home life, he started to underage drink, and get his hands on any drug that was available for him.

One day, Joseph and his 'crew' got invited to a house party. It's late, there's drinks, lights, music, and everything is fired up. After long joyous hours and a couple twenty shots, Joseph is fuuuucked up. Passed out on the couch. You wanna know what people do when they're young and drunk? They do irreversible stupid shit. Joseph got his lovely arm statements by either being so passed out that his friends decided that this would be a perfect canvas to paint on, or he was "consciously" agreeing to this work of art we see on his character sprites.

With a soft opening to the wounds of his childhood and teenage years, how was adulthood like? I doubt it wouldn't be easy, or that he could get away with more things as easier. I feel like Joseph chose to be a better person compared to his old self because of the fact that life would be even more shittier as it continued and that despite saying he wishes he would die, he's just as afraid of death as his 10 year old self. So, if he wanted to live a better life for himself and regain his sensitivity of self again, he had to fix himself up.

To answer your question of "Was he doing illegal activities or something bad?" Your answer is yes, and here's a list.

-As said before, alcoholism starting at age 16.

-Drugs, and at some point did attack people because he couldn't get said fix.

-Would sell himself for money.

-Robbed local stores just to have something in his system for the week minimum.

Joseph knew he had to better himself, and comparing all of this to the interview tapes-- If you didn't know a thing about him beforehand, you would've thought he was a perfect guy.

But we all know that no one is perfect, ain't that right?

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