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tearsofgrace · 3 years

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endings are hard... but they aren’t impossible

tldr; the good place fucking nailed the finale, supernatural completely and utterly bombed it.

tags: wc--4.5k, gif heavy, spn meta, the good place, supernatural finale, spn wank, all gifs are mine, if you read til the end there’s a pretty gif

so i recently finished the good place (i was watching w my family and we finally had time to sit down and watch the last season) and god fucking dammit that ending is FLAWLESS. literally flawless.

and because i’m, well, me… i spent most of the time during that hour long finale thinking about how supernatural could have had even a fraction of that and avoided so much heartbreak.

anyways. i decided to compare them. to REALLY compare them. to get into the nitty gritty of why the fuck the good place ending left me feeling, as the finale is all about, sated and complete. and why the spn ending left me confused, lost, broken, betrayed, unable to even enjoy my comfort show at all until a dear friend finally just watched an episode (8.08) start to finish with me.

so without further ado (always wanted to say that) here’s the good place/supernatural finale meta that no one asked for

comedy

we’ll start small. both these shows have excellent comedy. in extremely different ways… but still

in the good place finale, the comedy was perfect. whether it was jason reappearing in the forest, michael trying to get through The Door, tahani reversing the “hot bod” bit on eleanor, every comedic moment was actually pretty emotional and added something to the show. they deepened characters’ meanings, added to their relationships, and made the audience think as much as they made the audience laugh.

in the spn finale… the comedy was the pie gag. the whole sam shoving pie into dean’s face. beyond this being… like meta as hell (the whole prank thing) it doesn’t have any depth to it.

and to add salt to the wound, this “hilarious” thing happens RIGHT AFTER salmondean have a conversation about missing jack and cas that is equal parts flat and infuriating. the brothers, in particular sam about jack and dean about cas, should care more. this is their family. and family is everything to them. but, no, by all means pie dean in the face.

last lines

this one IRKS me. okay.

the last line of the good place "I'll say this to you, my friend, with all the love in my heart and all the wisdom of the universe: Take it sleazy.” “All right.” is ICONIC. okay?

it’s a reference to season 1 that doesn’t feel fan-servicey. it’s kinda honestly emotional cuz it’s like a message to us, the audience. it perfectly completes michael’s arc. it captures the light-hearted vibe of the show while also somehow managing to be poignant. you can see it coming like the second before it happens but it’s also not the obvious choice. it’s just. goddamn it’s good.

the last line of supernatural…. is… “and cut.” not even said by one of j2. i mean i know it’s a meta show but COME ON ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??????????

now i hear you shouting wait but that’s just the end of the thank you message. okay fine whatever. in that case the last lines are “Hey, Sammy.” “Dean.” (i couldn’t bring myself to gif that moment)

i’m sorry but. that’s predictable. that’s obvious. that’s boring. that’s flat. sure, it celebrates the bond between the brothers. but like… that’s not what this show is about anymore. it’s not just about sam and dean winchester it’s about what they’ve created. it’s about the world they’ve saved, the family they’ve made, about how they always keep fighting but nope we get bland, boring, coulda seen ‘em coming from miles away lines for the very end. that’s fine.

montages

the spn finale is like 50% montages that don’t make sense and are poorly done and not emotional

the good place has a montage of michael being human that brought me to tears

timing

here’s another short section. the good place finale was 53 minutes long as opposed to the usual 20 minute long runtime of every episode. granted, the fandom of the good place is very different, but STILL there was no documentary telling the fans things they ALREADY knew (there was a short special after the ep, but the episode itself was still far longer than normal). it was 53 minutes of plot. of really fucking good not rushed plot.

the supernatural finale was… what 36 minutes long?? as opposed to the normal 40 minute runtime?? granted, we did get an hour long documentary of things we’ve all heard in cons and interviews a billion times so hey. take what you can get i guess.

character arcs

this is most of the meat of this meta. one thing we’ve all been harping on a TON is how they RUINED character arcs. soooo let’s go through and juxtapose some character arcs shall we

eleanor

eleanor shellstrop starts the show completely self-obsessed. she died getting hit by shopping carts while picking up margarita mix and let’s be real she’s a total icon. love her to death. she grows a ton, becomes one of the most selfless characters on the show, and starts to actually (jack forbid) CARE about things. it’s one of the most satisfying and relatable character arcs i’ve ever seen.

it’s not just her selfishness either, her character is super multi-faceted and complex, and i feel like even in the end we’re getting to know her better. she’s afraid of commitment, always worried about what others’ actions will do to her, loves the trivial side of life, is queer as fuck (as acknowledged by the show in a way that’s not harmful at all but also isn’t explicitly bi/pan/unlabeled/omni etc, allowing queer fans to see their own identity in her), and is all around a HUMAN BEING. her ending at the beginning of the show was her death. her stupid, trivial, meaningless death where she was, as she puts it, all alone. and her final ending ISNT that. yes, everyone goes before her. and i think that’s purposeful. to show that she’s grown enough that being alone in some sense is okay.

but she’s never TRULY alone. and in the end. the REAL end. janet is there. the whole time. because eleanor asked her to be!! she got over her crazy need for independence and simply asked for help. and eleanor dies an amazing person that has become selfless, has found joy in philosophy while still enjoying trashy content, has fixed her relationship with her mother, and has found a sense of completion. eleanor’s life ends on her terms, and it’s beautiful.

dean

alright. now just as you’re feeling all warm and fuzzy let’s look at dean winchester’s ending. you’ve heard it a million times, so i’ll be brief. dean was raised to be a hunter, a soldier, a killing machine with no feelings and no purpose. he was raised to die scared on a hunt, his life over because of some mistake he made because he will NEVER measure up. at least that’s what john and everyone else told him with the exceptions of some of his family (and family don’t end in blood). he started to accept that he didn’t have to have this. he started to realize that he could CHOOSE what his ending was.

the beautiful thing is, we never truly got to see what that was. i personally like to think it’s similar to the roadhouse michael locked him in while he was trapped in his own mind. a safe place for hunters, somewhere he (and cas in my opinion, but that’s not important) could settle down and still be in the life. it would be an amazing tribute to jo and ellen, and just all around a great ending. he wouldn’t have to be scared, but he wouldn’t have to conform to some apple pie facade of normalcy. and ya know what?? say that he died so he could have peace i dare you. because dean doesn’t find peace until sam is there anyway so i beg of you WHAT WAS THE FUCKING POINT.

dean winchester died scared. dean winchester died on a hunt. dean winchester died on one of john’s old hunts. dean winchester died not directly at the hands of a monster, but at the hands of a mistake. his mistake. dean winchester died without ever working through the trauma of his best friend in the entire world confessing his love in a final act of self-sacrifice. dean winchester died in a way that leaves a sour taste in my mouth and does not at all show the audience what he’s been through and how much he’s grown. dean winchester did not die on his terms, and he deserved better.

chidi

okay back to happy. chidi anagonye. by far my personal favorite good place character (don’t tell anyone i always say jason cuz he and i are very similar). chidi in the last few episodes is SO DRASTICALLY different than the chidi we meet at the beginning. he’s decisive, confident, self-assured, and it’s amazing to see. he’s not afraid of life anymore. he’s not afraid to make the wrong decision and forever alter his reality, because he’s okay with failure.

at the beginning, chidi was so petrified of life that… it killed him. and in the end, he’s completely at peace with every decision he makes, even the final one. yes, he considered staying for eleanor, but that just shows how his moral code and his compassion for others is still very much still intact. it shows the audience that you can be confident and decisive without being a selfish asshole.

chidi leaves the good place knowing that it’s the right thing to do. knowing without a doubt that his time has come. the old chidi never would have been able to fathom being that sure about something. it’s beautiful. it’s a development that can give the audience peace, can show them that this drastic of change is possible, and that chidi became a better person for all of it. chidi went on his own terms, and it was beautiful.

sam

… this one might be controversial… but sam winchester. god i hated sam’s ending. at first i was kinda okay with it. like, okay fine he got his normal life. but, really, in the end that’s not what sam wanted. he started to realize that he didn’t need that apple pie, white picket fence life. he didn’t need the wife and the kids and the backyard and the barbecues because that is NOT sam’s personality and i will throw hands on that.

that’s not to say he doesn’t want some sort of romance, maybe even kids, but not in that way. he lets himself see that he doesn’t need to be defined by his rebellion to john. doesn’t need to be defined by going to college or any of those “normal” smart kid things because it doesn’t fit him. and that’s okay! but how does sam’s story end? it ends with a wife (that isn’t even important enough to show her face). with kids. with a goddamn white picket fence. we think he’s still hunting to some extent… but it’s not the arc we were led to believe would happen. it’s not this amazing leader sam that we see in season 12-14, uniting hunters and organizing them.

he had SO MUCH potential and they throw it away on a vanilla ending that shows only surface level pain at losing his brother. he doesn’t even invite the rest of their family to the wake for fuck’s sake. jared did an incredible job. pls don’t think i’m saying he didn’t. but that script…. sam winchester’s arc was cut short. he didn’t go on his terms, and he deserved better.

jason

jason mandoza. the only character that has ever embodied my complete dumbass energy to the insane extent that it exists. he went to hell for his impulsivity. he never thought before a decision. i aspire to be as reckless as jason while on earth. but he LEARNED. he got better, just like they all did. and by the end of the show, jason doesn’t need to be impulsive anymore. much like eleanor being left “alone,” the show does a masterful job with making him be the first one to go, capturing his old impulsiveness. but he chooses to leave. he takes his time in deliberation, waiting until a feeling of peace, of completion, of well, ‘true happiness’ (sorry cas stans, i’m right there with you) has settled over him.

the ending of his story is one of growth, just like all these characters have been. and the best part? the show makes it comedic in the most poignant and beautiful way, because it’s jason, it had to be funny. we learn that jason has been in the woods for like, eons, just waiting to go through the door because he wants to give janet a necklace. he’s learned to simply wait. to be at peace with… nothing. his torture was being a monk, but in the end, jason embodies those ideals. his arc comes to fruition in an extremely satisfying way. jason goes on his own terms, and it’s beautiful.

castiel

this one is gonna hurt like a bitch. castiel is my comfort character. he’s my role model. he’s me in a lot of ways. i love him. so fucking much. so excuse me if this is slightly incoherent. i’m actually okay with cas’ ending… in a way. because his actual ending as an on-screen character? perfect. self-sacrifice while coming out and professing his love to dean winchester. a little bit bury the gays, but let’s be real, it’s supernatural. and “happiness is in just saying it” has to be the most powerful way to think of coming out. it takes away the fear, it takes away so much of the pain that can follow. because the joy is in just saying the words.

it’s how this was treated on the show that makes cas’ character arc terrible (and we haven’t even gotten to 15.20). YOU CANNOT JUST IGNORE A LOVE CONFESSION. that is god awful writing and i will never change my mind on that. cas deserved his family to care about him. to at least address and be sad about the fact he was gone. jesus fucking christ after everything castiel deserved at least that. and then we go to 15.20. cas is in heaven. cas is serving god. cas is right back where he started. now, i’m coming off a little strong.

if the show had decided to show us cas and jack in heaven makin’ the world a better place… i woulda come around to it. i woulda realized that that’s not REALLY erasing 12 years of character development and cas realizing that his whole identity isn’t just him serving heaven and isn’t just him being an angel and that he’s so much more than all of that and he could still be happy as a human… because really he’s with his son. but they didn’t show us that. they barely even mentioned him. and to me. that counts as a bad character arc. and i’m sorry if you disagree. castiel may have gone on his own terms, but they treated that beautiful sacrifice with disrespect and disdain, plus resolved his arc by putting him back where he started. he deserved better.

tahani

*deep breaths guys this is a long post i’m sorry* anywayyyy tahani!!! we love tahani obviously. let’s talk about her arc, because it always kinda bothered me. throughout the show, we see all the other character’s growing and expanding their knowledge of right and wrong. and, don’t get me wrong. we see tahani grow a lot. but she makes a lot of the same types of comments and shit like that. but it’s how she treats the reactions to those comments. by the end of the show, she laughs at the caricature of herself that the others see. she isn’t looking for vindication in name-dropping, she just does it. she is far less self-absorbed, and is genuinely interested in those around her. she fixes her relationships with her sister and her parents in a way that doesn’t feel forced and actually feels like a beautiful, healthy family reunion.

she has a list and she does everything on it. it’s worth noting, that the things on her list are not at all what they would have been at the beginning of the show. most of them are humble “labor” type tasks, and all of them are in self improvement. tahani’s end on the show is not the same as everyone else’s. she realizes that she doesn’t need to be done. that there doesn’t have to be an end to self-improvement. and she becomes an architect. the writers perfectly embody her transformation from a self-obsessed rich girl who has never done a thing for herself and laughs at the lower-class to a down-to-earth worker that simply doesn’t want the journey to end.

it’s incredible how perfectly the writers were able to close off these character arc’s without it feeling forced, and without ignoring their character development. imagine that. tahani chooses her own way, and it’s beautiful.

jack

jack’s ending may be the only one that i’ve actually somewhat come to terms with. it’s not terrible. it’s not great. but it’s not nearly as bad. because ignoring that awful monologue about every drop of rain and shit, jack really does end up helping people. he ends up doing something that he loves and that makes the world a better place. and he doesn’t lose his personality in it. but. i dunno, that’s still his destiny, right? to create paradise. and this is a show about ripping up the rule book, about choosing free will above all else… so to have every single character just fulfill their destiny is cheap.

still… i’ll try to be unbiased. because really at the beginning of jack’s time on the show, he’s unsure what he wants. and at least, in the end, he’s sure. he has a wisdom that he’s always had but he’s now using. and i’m good with that. but what’s NOT okay about jack’s ending is the lack of on-screen family. jack learns that family is important. sam, cas, dean those are the people he cares about. and you’re telling me he would just NEVER see them again? and be okay with that? i know he rebuilds heaven with cas, but we don’t even get a story about him rescuing cas from the empty. and he seems in 15.19 to not be that concerned about it (after the amazing emotional scene at the beginning). jack should have cared about his family. he did. but they ruined that for him. so jack kline deserved better.

michael

oh man where do i start. michael’s growth is the biggest on the show. i mean. he starts as a literal demon and ends a human. he gets better, he falls in love with humanity (*castiel fan in me sobbing again*) and he chooses over and over to be good instead of bad. his whole arc is a classic redemption arc, and every single beat just gets better. he chooses selfishly to side with humans but in the end it turns out to be the best decision he could have made. because he develops emotions, he develops compassion, he develops a moral compass.

and his end reflects that. because to complete this arc of a demon becoming more human… he literally becomes human!!!! it fits so well. and he’s allowed to make mistakes and be happy and gain all that humanity has to offer. this just shows that human!endgame for cosmic beings that become more human WORKS SO WELL (and it shoulda happened for cas and jack that’s all i’m saying). michael went on his own terms, and it was beautiful.

eileen

oh boy… this one stings. because they brought her back, used her up, and we never saw her again. eileen was one of the best side characters on the show, and they rarely addressed her arc. she comes onto the show as a hunter seeking revenge, and gets that revenge in the same episode. her s15 arc is focused on what’s real and what’s not, with her relationship to sam admittedly being a central part of her character because… it’s supernatural and women can’t exist without that. but still! eileen grows throughout the show and in the end… we don’t even know what happens to her. it’s as if her arc wasn’t important enough to even glance at.

it’s as if the connections the boys make outside of each other mean nothing when in reality they mean everything. they prove that the co-dependency is behind them and that family doesn’t end with blood and that real connections can be formed between people that last a lifetime. eileen was a disabled hunter that was shown to still be one of the best in the business, and they didn’t even give her the courtesy of a goodbye. eileen didn’t go on her own terms, and she deserved better.

janet

this is gonna unbalance my list but goddammit janet’s ending was perfect. she was a not-robot, not-girl that should have been incapable of feelings. but throughout the series we get to watch as she learns first-hand about human emotions and processes them. she cares about the humans in her charge and fights for them on multiple counts.

in the end, we see janet come to terms with both her cosmic being side, and her human side. she never stops being with the “cockroaches.” she sees them all leave, she’s there for them while they’re there, and she also continues to speak her mind and live autonomously. janet was a non-human character done right. she lived on her own terms, and it was beautiful.

some honorable mentions

spn ignored (in the finale) chuck, amara, stevie, charlie, jody, donna, garth, bess, the other angels, claire, kaia, patience, alex, and the list goes ON in favor of focusing on JUST sam and dean. did none of those characters at least deserve a quick goodbye??????

the good place wrapped up multiple arcs i had completely forgotten about in a totally natural and not forced way. mindy, doug forester, (the mushroom guy, i know, it took me a second), pillboy, donkey doug, kamilah, tahani’s parents, eleanor’s mother, eleanor’s friends, chidi’s best friend, vicki, shawn, glenn, simone and so many that i’m forgetting all got satisfying ends that they totally deserved.

they even fucking resolved FROG GUY’S arc and gave him a real frog. that’s right. frog guy (jeff) had a better character arc resolution than dean motherfucking winchester.

heaven and hell

obviously in very different vehicles, both shows explore in depth the realities of the afterlife. and lemme tell ya, at the end of the day, one sits a whole lot better than the other.

the good place finale ends this quest for the perfect afterlife by saying that everyone can improve and that an eternal paradise shouldn’t keep you from eternal rest. they pretty much make me wish that this is what our afterlife looked like. they handle everything with care so it’s balanced precariously in a way that doesn’t give you anxiety looking at it but instead fills you with peace and faith in humanity.

supernatural addresses this series long battle between heaven and hell by creating a heaven where you drive for forty years without seeing the people (cough cough cas and jack not his parents) that matter to you and drink beer that tastes like shit. a place you can’t be happy or find any sense of peace until your brother has died and he’s there too.

and hell… well they barely even address it. there’s a new queen of hell i guess? but so what. it’s still very much heaven and hell in a way that’s the worst and hey plus to them… makes me wanna stay alive thank you very much. oh and purgatory is in shambles and not functioning properly cuz all that eve bullshit.

loose ends

whenever something is ending, you gotta tie up the loose ends. not in a “oh, we must wrap everything up and leave no stone unturned” kinda way but in a “wow, we should probably try to make this unambiguous because this is the last time we will ever see these characters” kinda way.

the good place does that. so fucking masterfully. all these side plots with all these different characters were taken care of all while focusing on the main six characters. we get to see how their intervention has changed everyone else. for example, mindy’s arc is wrapped up perfectly, with eleanor going to save her.

plus different running jokes like “take it sleazy” are wrapped up, we revisit really old callbacks like the original neighborhood, and all of it feels natural and in the moment. it feels like full circle in a way that doesn’t erase growth.

supernatural, on the other hand, left a million loose ends open. what happened to the boys they saved? where the fuck are jody, donna, etc.? did eileen make it back? cuz sam was pretty upset about that. what happened to it “being loud” in the empty? hell, what happened to the empty? what happened to hell? what about chuck? it woulda been nice to see just for a second what became of him. did charlie and stevie make it (i’m very invested in that relationship)? if we’re taking the original ending… why the fuck is jimmy there? did kansas just all,,, die?

i’m not saying they needed to address everything… but god a few wrapped up storylines besides the brothers wouldn’t have hurt

coloring

can i just… real quick… as a giffer lodge a complaint

the good place has beautiful vibrant coloring in the finale

spn has like bland washed out whatever the fuck that is coloring. it’s not even the dark early aesthetic cuz they dropped that it’s just… ew. so. do with that what you will.

conclusion

first… while writing this i realized just HOW MUCH it’s not about destiel… like believe me. i knew i wasn’t just pissed about destiel. but holy shit it’s not destiel at all like did i even mention destiel that much???? this was never about a ship. this was just a trash finale.

in the end. the good place writers knew what they were doing. they knew their fans, they knew their characters, they knew their world, and they knew how to wrap it up in a way that was satisfying and sad and perfectly fit the tone of the whole show. it wasn’t out of character or rushed, basically every loose end was tied up without the audience even realizing that’s what they were doing, and i feel happy and complete having watched it.

the supernatural ending was a betrayal. flat out. to the audience that has stuck by it in a way bigger way than the good place fandom. to the characters that have helped so many people. to the actors that have given so much of their lives. to the other members of the crew, to certain writers… all of it was just a slap in the face.

we deserved better guys. there are better endings possible. so i’m sorry. i really am. but i guess… that’s what fanfic is for, right?

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urbfsecretgf · 3 years

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The boy next door. (pt2.)

a/n: no one asked for more but im just gonna keep posting as i write bc its fun :)

(everything is made up including names, family members and text messages)

_________________________________________________________

you look at the message from vinnie and smile.

"what are you so smiley about y/n?" you mom says in a jokingly way

"she met a boy at the ice cream shop" jack says sounding annoyed

"soooo whats his name, is he cute, how old is he, where does he live, i wanna know everything"

your mom has always been a little nosey when it comes to boys, especially ones that make you smile.

"mommmmmm" you say

"oh come on i just wanna know"

"okay fine" you give in "his names vinnie and he lives next door, he came into the ice cream shop while we were waiting and he complimented me on my ice cream choice"

your mom laughs and says; "he seems like a very sweet boy, why dont you invite him and his family over for dinner tomorrow?"

"we arent moved in fully yet mom" jack interrupts

"oh vinnie offered to come over tomorrow and help move stuff in, you can invite him and his family over for dinner when hes here if you want to"

your mom sits and thinks about it for a second. she's never liked asking for help "you know we could use the extra hands, if you want to text him and see if hes willing to come over around 10 and help unload boxes that would be wonderful. i'll make lunch too depending on how long it takes"

"YES!" you scream in excitement, "i'll text him right now and see if he can. love you mom!"

you run upstairs and let out a squeal. you where so excited to see your dream boy again.

you text vinnie and throw your phone on your bed.

"oh shoot!" you yelled. "if he does come over i have to clean my room i can have it look like this." you look down at your floor and see all the laundry scattered everywhere.

"im such a mess"

you put on your favorite playlist and start dancing while you clean your room.

*BZZ*

"mom! he said hes coming over tomorrow!"

"sounds good!"

you keep cleaning your room but eventually fall asleep because you had a long day today.

when you woke up you checked the time.

"ITS 10:45??"

your alarm never went off causing you to over sleep.

"i havent showered, i havent gotten ready, i havent done anything! and my room still isnt clean UGHHHH!"

you quickly throw on a pair of pajama bottoms and a crop top you found in your closet, you put dry shampoo in and throw your hair into a bun.

you grabbed your glasses and run down stairs.

"well good morning sleeping beauty" vinnie says to you staring at you.

"OMG YOU'RE HERE!"

"yeah you told me to come over... your mom is an amazing lady i must say, i also didnt know you wore glasses"

"MY GLASSES NOOOO!" you panic realizing you didnt have time to put your contacts in

"calm down its okay y/n. i like them." vinnie smiles at you.

"his smile is so pretty, and his eyes, wow." you think to yourself.

"y/n?" your mom says

"huh?"

"you okay? you zoned out for a second"

"OH yeah no im great." you realize you zoned out while staring at vinnie who was in a white tank top and is wearing a baseball cap. you couldnt stop yourself from starring.

"hey mom.." jack says "i found this in with the books"

you look at jack and realize hes holding your old bra

"JACK THATS MINE STOP" you gasp. oh boy that's embarrassing.

vinnie starts laughing and looks at you.

"stop laughing"

you're so embarrassed that he just saw that.

"dont worry y/n its okay. my dog had my boxers on her head after she went snooping in my room."

you can't help but to laugh a little.

the thought of seeing his dog with his boxers on her head is something you would pay to see.

"alright so is there anything else you would like me to move Mrs. Anderson?" vinnie asks your mom

"i dont believe so unless y/n or jack has anything to move" your mom looks at you and your brother waiting for a response.

jack breaks the silence and goes "nope, i think everything is in my room already."

"y/n do you have anything you need help unpacking or anything?" he looks at you and his eyes are this beautiful chocolate brown color.

"yeah i do actually."

vinnie and you head up to your room

"im sorry its such a mess i was trying to clean it last night but i must have fell asleep."

"don't worry about it, my room is way worse than this"

he reaches for a magazine he sees and giggles

"whats so funny? HEY PUT THAT DOWN!"

he laughs and sets it back down

"you know i think its cute."

"whats cute?'

"you, everything about you."

you roll your eyes and smile

"you're dumb Mr. Hacker, but you're cute as well"

"thank you Ms. Hacker."

"what did you say?"

"huh? nothing, anyways is that all you wanted me to help with?"

"yeah thats it thank you."

vinnie walks downstairs and you follow.

your mom is in the kitchen with your brother.

"oh vinnie before you leave, would you and your family like to come over for dinner tonight?" vinnie looks at you and then at your mom.

"i think they would be delighted to come over for dinner tonight Mrs. Anderson, i'll text them right now."

you go into the living room to watch some tv. vinnie follows and sits next to you.

*BZZ*

vinnies phone goes off

"they said they would love to come over, do you have a time in mind on when they should come over?"

"does 7:30 work?"

"that will work just fine."

looking at the time you realize you and vinnie have spent 5 hours together already.

"i should probably get heading home, i have to shower and get ready for dinner tonight, see you then everyone!" he kisses your cheek and heads out the door.

"bye vinnie see you tonight!" your mom and brother exclaim

"what a sweet boy" mom says

*4 hours later, 7:00 PM*

"Vinnie and his family will be over in 30 mins please make sure everything is ready and make sure you guys are ready aswell"

your mom has always been one to make sure everything and everyone looks good before any guest come over.

the door bell rings.

"y/n!! can you please get the door?"

you rush downstairs and open the door.

"hey y/n, wow you look good"

you curled your hair, put makeup on, and are wearing your nice fancy dress.

"hey vin i could say the same thing about you."

both of you are dressed up very nicely. he's wearing his blue suit and has his shirt buttoned down showing chest tattoo.

something about his tattoos drive you insane. you love them.

he introduces his family to yours

"i never knew you had a twin brothers." you say as your brother and his run off to the backyard.

"yeah they are a real pain in the ass"

"i know what that's like"

the two of you laugh

"this is a beautiful house you have jackie and you have 2 beautiful children as well" vinnies mom says to yours

"well thank you sandy im very blessed with what i have gotten in life, your 3 boys are such angels especially vinnie here. hes been very helpful today and i really appreciate it."

he smiles at your mom and then at you

"dinner was amazing, thank you for inviting us over and introducing us to your family, we are going to have a bbq here this weekend if you guys want to join." vinnies dad offers

"we will be there"

"awesome, well we best get going its late and we both have work in the morning, thank you again."

"yeah anytime! thank you guys for coming."

you say goodnight to vinnie and his family and head upstairs.

*BZZ*

New Message from Vinnie <3: you looked absolutely stunning tonight

To Vinnie <3: thank you vin, you looked very handsome tonight as well i must say, you look handsome every night tho.

From Vinnie <3: you're cute, goodnight luv sleep well :)

you set your phone down and smile. hes truly the best guy you have ever met.

#vinnie hacker x y/n #vinnie hacker x reader #vinnie hacker imagine #vinnie hacker #vinnie x reader #vinnie hacker x you

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tchaikovskaya · 3 years

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this topic has been on my mind all afternoon so i was thinking about this anecdote but lol ok so

before i was born my dad had a dog he trained for duck hunting (extraneous info but he was a red golden retriever named ROUX 🥺💘). He was an amazing hunting dog but good hunting dogs tend to be Very energetic, pretty intelligent and therefore need a fair amount of physical and mental stimulation to be happy. my parents had my oldest sister and my dad didnt have a lot of time to go hunting and was barely keeping up with walking roux enough. so roux got to be pretty high strung. when my sister was 3 my parents were having a block party in their backyard for the 4th of july and a neighborhood boy was a little too eager to pet him and he bit the kid on the arm. yikes

so roux was a liability now and was clearly not as happy as he used to be. one of the guys my dad hunted with had a small farm about 45 minutes out of the city, and he and his wife had no kids and loved dogs, so they took in retired hunting dogs who were skittish or nervy or whose owners couldnt take care of them anymore etc. my parents turned roux over to him so he could live the rest of his days sprinting around in the fields and eating red meat and doing dog stuff and such.

unfortunately “the dog got sent to the farm” is also a way to tell a kid why the dog they put to sleep isnt around anymore. but this dog retirement farm with loving owners was very much real, and roux was there! a great thing, because he was happy! the only bad part is that as a teenager and now adult, my sister would tell the farm story to people and they’d all react like “oh honey you dont really believe that after all this time do you? 😒” and she gets so upset every time shes like “its REAL i was THERE i SAW it i WENT WITH THEM to drop him off 😤😤😤😤” RIP

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mrsjadecurtiss · 3 years

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Hello! I would like to add to the Roose-Worse-Than-Ramsay? discussion that Roose says no tales are ever told of him. A very good metaphor I saw used by nobodysuspectsthebutterfly is that Ramsay is a serial killer who terrifies a town for a summer, while Roose is the serial killer who has decades of bodies below his basement and in his backyard. Remember what Roose did to Pretty Pia and other women in Harranhal, building stocks for their rape.

Hi, thank you for the question! :)

"A very good metaphor I saw used by nobodysuspectsthebutterfly is that Ramsay is a serial killer who terrifies a town for a summer, while Roose is the serial killer who has decades of bodies below his basement and in his backyard."

The metaphor I tend to go for is that, while Ramsay is the serial killer that terrorizes the town for a summer, Roose is the CEO that abuses and exploits his workers and commits countless crimes from tax fraud to rape and worse that he never gets arrested for because of his wealth and power (who also lets said serial killer run rampant because of nepotism).

Roose is a critique of the inherent corruption of the ruling class, and just because his crimes arent as flashy as Ramsay's does not make him a better person - in a way he is worse than Ramsay because if it wasn't for him upsetting his status quo with the red wedding, he would have probably never been "found out"/brought to justice. He mirrors people commonly found in the real world to this day.

However, Ramsay's crimes need to be "worse than Roose' crimes", as in, more vile and extreme and horrifyingly gory, because in terms of story he is needed to expose the inherent flaws in Roose' conduct and way of life.

Roose is written as a foil to Ned Stark. Ned is known for his honorable conduct and a solid good heart, which shapes his legacy even beyond his death, and his rule creates a land of people who are generally satisfied and peaceful. Roose, on the surface, tries to achieve the same thing, and in the best case it looks as though he succeeds:

"A peaceful land, a quiet people. That has always been my rule." - Reek III, aDwD

The difference lies in the way they achieve this. Roose is amoral, commits heinous crimes, and acts in selfish ways, and tries to cover his wrongdoings up or hide them away, achieving a surface-level peace.

"She told me that when her dead husband's brother saw those eyes, he beat her bloody and drove her from the mill. That annoyed me, so I gave her the mill and had the brother's tongue cut out, to make certain he did not go running to Winterfell with tales that might disturb Lord Rickard. Each year I sent the woman some piglets and chickens and a bag of stars, on the understanding that she was never to tell the boy who had fathered him. " - Reek III, aDwD

Now, if everyone involved acts the way Roose wants it, this works out, and he can live in peace. If Ramsay had an amiable personality like Roose' son Domeric had, or was at worst just a younger version of his father, Roose wouldn't have any problems, and the way he leads his life would be seen as a "success" by him.

However, Ramsay is vile and evil, impulsive, unbelievably violent, and his father despairs of him:

Roose made a face, as if the ale he was sipping had suddenly gone sour. "There are times you make me wonder if you truly are my seed. My forebears were many things, but never fools." - Reek III, aDwD

This shows the limit of Roose' code of conduct, and that the way he acts is wrong and will never be sustainable. If he had acted as morally correct as Ned did all his life, he would have never fathered Ramsay, never made the miller's wife hate him and sow the desire to be heir in Ramsay, never have the first Reek corrupt Ramsay. Ramsay ruining Roose' life appears textually as a symbol of all of his past wrongdoings coming back to haunt him, a metaphor of his crimes against the smallfolk made flesh.

Ramsay shows the limits of Roose' selfish and morally wrong rule, as his framework does not account for someone as depraved as Ramsay; he cannot weasel himself out of this situation, as he is too weak/selfish to banish or kill Ramsay, and does not possess the moral tools/wisdom to mold Ramsay into a person that can work in this society. Roose' conduct worked out for him because he himself is restrained/lowkey enough, but it does not provide a framework for someone like Ramsay to understand why the way he is acting is wrong.

"No tales were ever told of me. Do you think I would be sitting here if it were otherwise? Your amusements are your own, I will not chide you on that count, but you must be more discreet. A peaceful land, a quiet people. That has always been my rule. Make it yours." - Reek III, aDwD

His code of conduct is a selfish one: He does not provide moral reasons for actions, instead he preaches people to act in a way that benefits their selfish desires the most. So when Roose' desire for a peaceful land and a good reputation clashes with Ramsay's desire for violence and for people to fear him, his code of conduct does not offer a guideline for Ramsay to understand /why/; beyond that it is merely Roose' own desire. There are no rules in Roose' life beyond that everything should ideally go the way that benefits Roose the most. According to Roose, Ramsay's amusements arent bad for moral reasons, they are bad because they are inconvenient to Roose' desire for a stable rule; so if Ramsay does not agree with this desire, there is no reason for him to stop.

Ned's strong moral code provides himself and his children with a framework to act that is consistent; abiding by it both when it is favourable and when it is inconvenient. An inconvenience is accepted with the knowledge that it brings a net good through the idea of justice and fairness.

Roose' code is inconsistent, and oriented around eliminating inconvenience as often as possible. This brings no framework to act around, and thus allows a man as vile as Ramsay to exist and thrive within this system, exposing its flaws; since an act that is bad in one situation can be good in another as long as the result is beneficial, Ramsay's disturbing acts are given a loophole to exist. Ramsay being more openly extreme and crassly violent than his father lays this open for all the world to see, as his bad behaviour harms Roose' plans and does great political damage.

So Ramsay's purpose is twofold, demonstrating the failure of Roose' way of life both in showing the consequences of Roose' own bad actions, as well as showing that his way of life cannot provide a sustainable framework for someone else to act on.

"Remember what Roose did to Pretty Pia and other women in Harranhal, building stocks for their rape."

The sad thing about this is that this is not anything unique to Roose - look at what Tywin did to Tysha, his father’s mistress, or the Castameres... This type of crime is emblematic of the corruption of the rich and powerful. Roose isnt bad because he is somehow uniquely evil where merely getting rid of him specifically would solve all the problems, he is bad because as long as the system that molded, raised, and benefitted him is in place, there always are and will be people like him.

#asoiaf #roose bolton #asoiaf meta #ramsay bolton #asks #Anonymous

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yourclownpal · 3 years

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A comprehensive list of all my Ghost au's

this post will be talking about all of the ghost au's ive created or co-created including talking about ghost au's from old fandom's that i am no longer in. if you want to ask about any of my au's my ask box and dm's are always open this includes the hermitcraft au but keep it to a minimum please also if any of the creator's of the characters have said that they arent comfortable with what im making ( with proof ofc) i will edit or delete what is needed to fit in the boundaries also another thing this is a long post if you just want the art go under the cut! this post will discuss how each au works and basic plot stuff about them the fandoms in this post are hermitcraft, epithet erased, and dsmp okay first things first-

my hermitcraft au (what a pity)-

On my old tumblr account I made a few posts about it along with a fanfic which never got finished due to me not wanting to interact with the fandom any more due to personal reasons and also I'm not very good at writing imo but I think I'm ready to talk about it again. Just keep in mind i will most likely not talk about this fandom ever again at least not on here again for personal preference : -) it was about season 6 Grian since he was who i was hyperfixating on at the time, being haunted by the ghosts of Sam and Taurtis, both of them from the old roleplay series' Yandere High School, and Tokyo Soul, and taurtis from Grians old-ish smp Evo. Since I never finished the fanfiction nobody but me and close friends ever got to hear the full story i had planned but now you will i guess. It was mainly just grian stressing about Sam and Taurtis being ghosts and him worrying about being crazy, though he would still join the hippies during the area 77 war he would be significantly more stressed especially when finding out that Sam and Taurtis have been possessing his body during the night, he’s more worried about Sam though because of his track record back in the other servers( yhs and ts) it was going to be that Sam (although death isn't permanent) would go on a killing spree in Grians body which would cause the area 77 guys to put him in the facility to see what's going on with him, and it didn't get further then that. My favorite part of this au much like all of my au’s were the design elements i had for it which i'll have under the cut with the other designs. Now for a rundown of how the ghost physics work in this world, in typical ghost fashion Sam and Taurtis were not able to touch or move anything, but they were able to interact with Grian, him being the only person who could see/hear/or touch them. Their only super natural abilities is being able to possess Grian.

Okay! Time for my Epithet Erased au!: Unlike what a pity this one doesn't have a name or a fanfic to go with it as said before i'm not exactly a writer but i have talked about it a bit before on this account along with posting the designs and general concept but i'll go more in depth here! As said in my original post this au was a co-creation with my best friend and sibling @brocolibean so go check bun out ^^ Unlike ‘What a Pity’ it was more lighthearted and comedy centric because it dealt with a bit more and also the original show is a comedy. This au didn't include the character’s epithets so they are all humans. This will also include talking about house each ghost died so if your uncomfortable hearing about that you might want to skip the ghosts portion Just like the original post I'll separate the story summary into 3 parts with intervals in between to talk about the ghosts. First we have the Banzai boys part of the story. Giovanni, Spike, Dark Star, Crusher, Flame Thrower, Car Crash, and Ben all decide to move into a house together so they could all easily split the rent since its close to their collage, the house, which they get for cheap, is aa very old house with sketchy history. But it's a huge house for cheap so they don't complain they encounter the ghosts very early on living in the house and they swear to figure out how they died so they can get their memory back! The ghosts, Molly, Sylvie, Trixie, and Pheonica have no memory! All they know is that there are ghosts! They are connected to the property of this house but if you where to get something- like perhaps a stone from the property the ghost is still technically attached to it therefore the ghost can go with you anywhere Speaking of- -Phoenicia Fleecity is one of the last ghosts to show herself, her body is found in the overgrown garden flowers growing over her skeleton, she is from the victorian era making her the oldest out of the ghosts though he death is the most mysterious -Molly Blindeff is the first ghost the group meets her decomposed body is found buried in the floorboards of the living room, found when gio decided that the house needed renovation and taking matters into his own hands, she died via blunt force trauma i will not be going into detail here because i'm still thinking of doing something with this au she died in the early 2000’s -Sylvester Ashling is the second ghost to show himself though he didn't want to, his body was found in the bottom of the pond in the backyard of the house in the garden. His body while it was decomposing and falling apart was still intact, bloated from drowning. Again i wont go into detail but this wasn't an accident time of death is unknown -Trixie Roughhouse is the third person to show themselves to the Banzai Blasters she is found in the bushes in the backyard her face disfigured from some sort of explosion unlike the others it seems like it was purely an accident, like sylvie their time of death is unknown Mera Salamin is the collages part time librarian nicknamed “the library witch” she started seeing her ghost after obtaining a neck bow with a blue pendant from a pawnshop she got it cause it was pretty and didn't expect a himbo to come along with it -Indus Tarbella is a ghost who is attached to the pendant and bow Mera wear it used to be his own until he was decapitated wearing it through he was properly buried he has no troublesome memories about what happened even after seeing his body he’s just happy to be with Mera Percival King is a security guard at the college and one of the best at that, she wields a story she got from a pawn shop as its her preferred weapon she takes her job very seriously -Ramsey and Zora both died by the same sword while fighting neither remember who wielded the sword, even after death they hate each other and hate being bound together even more Everyone ends up meeting and finding out they all have ghost hijinks ensue. The way ghosts work in this world is a bit strange I'll admit but it's one of my favorites. The ghosts can interact with the human world(menma style) but

they can only talk to the others who can see them (the Banzai Blasters, mera and percy) and the ghosts can interact with each other ghosts in this au attach themselves to an item or property that has someway to do with their death, the kids in the property, Indus it's the bow, and the sword duo is well, the sword Percy carries. As alluded to from before Gio and the rest of the boys end up carrying a bit of the property with them in the form of friendship bracelets four for each of them which makes 28 different bracelets so the kids can decide who to follow around for the day.i talked about how percy and Mera’s items work enough but i would like to mention that Indus does most of the heavy lifting around the library but becaus enoone else can see indus they assume she’s magical, the glowing pendant doesn't help.

The last two au’s i want to talk about are both dream smp au’s

though i've never talked about them online until now, again thanks to @brocolibean for letting me brain vomit my way through these au’s and helping me out with things i love them please check him out I'll be honest i'm so scared of this fandom so i'm afraid to talk about my au’s please be nice to me Also this is all roleplay and fiction!<3 The first one i'll talking about is the dsmp ghost hunters au Sam runs a company where groups of people hunt ghosts for money! Those groups being Phil, Technoblade, Wilbur,Tommy, Tubbo, and Ranboo Dream, George, Sapnap, Quackity, Karl Bad, ant, Skeppy, and Puffy There’s most likely more but there the only people i can think of at this moment The only canonical ghost being Schlatt This au doesn't have a proper story perse it's more about gags and stuff about the different character fighting over ghosts for money but the story stuff i do have- Sbi family dynamic is real here you can rejoice, Phil adopts Tubbo after his dad (Schlatt) kicks the bucket and fucking dies , Tubbo befriend’s Ranboo some mysterious teen who just desperately needs a job so he- and the rest of the Minecraft family help him get one- though they find out Ranboo isnt as human as he was made out to be and he finds out he’s this worlds version of angels called ender’s and he’s there to protect Tubbo and Tommy which explains why the more violent ghosts start being less violent at the arrival of Ranboo joining their team. Bad isn't human either being a demon his entire group know’s plus quackity. Quackity found out but squirting him with holy water through a water gun but don't worry he promised not to tell anyone; -) Bad and Ranboo know about each other because they see each other as their true forms The minecraft fam found out about Schlatt being a ghost through Tommy- despite Tubbo telling him not to- telling them from calling up and paying for them to investigate their own house saying “technically i didn't tell them” they ended up not getting rid of Schlatt though I'm not going to talk about how the ghosts here work because it's not super important to the plot

The second au is another ghost au where the main characters are ghosts themselves,

like the others its mainly lighthearted and comedic with dark attributes The plot surrounds the sbi family moving into a new house and Tommy finding out it's being haunted by two ghost’s. Those ghosts being Tubbo and Ranboo This au isn't fully figured out but I know that he found out he was haunted by sending a selfie to someone(possibly Drista and Purpled? Since there are only other minors who were part of the dsmp lore? But ultimately idk) and them being like “yo i didn't know you had friends” and him being like “?????” Tubbo died from a boiler exploding and Ranboo died from drowning (which are apparently my two favorite deaths) this also doesn't have an official story? It was just an excuse to make ghost designs with a bit of a story without the commitment As said before it's a sbi au but also a Dadschlatt au cuz I like Dadschlatt au’s. The main story bits i have are background stuff for Tubbo and Ranboo which ill elaborate now The house was originally meant to be just a summer home because it had a large lake in the backyard Ranboo’s family would go there often but that doesn't mean his family liked him very much because of his heterochromia, Vitiligo, and his height his family thought he was strayed from god and drowned him Tubbo died during sleep while Schlatt wasn't home either out drinking or just at work he came home to the house being partially blown up and his son nowhere to be seen he calls Puffy out of fear and she calls the cops. He moves away and most likely starts drinking a bit more. The house gets rebuilt and now the sbi live there hijinks ensue! The ghosts in this au work in a simpler manor only Tommy can see them unless a photo is taken but even then they are blurred, they can float and go through walls and their ability to touch things is limited Ranboo’s memory is worse then Tubbo’s but Tubbo’s isn’t much better.

below the cut will be designs and stuff be safe pal's- there will be minor/cartoony blood-

rip me exposing my old art on this account also i'm ripping these from my fucking amino account that i don't use but still have the password too

gonna do the original what a pity drawins first them ill show a more recent rendition because i hate the old drawings

these are the old drawins i hate them

then,,, i just drew them,,,,, fuck these guys/j

thses are the old sprite edits of these four! trixies design is the only one that really changed

the ded;-; i couldnt fit him on the page

there he is! ft indus and very much alive mera(who i cant figure out how to FUCKING DRAW-)

gay's get wilbur'd/j

they lookin for ghosts

the whole fmaily is here but its quality is shit

these bitches dead! good for them,,, good for them,,,,,,/j/rp

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wolferals · 4 years

Text

🌙TROUBLE🌙

arón piper imagine

🌼@bbaronpiper and I wanted to try something and got some basic keywords for a story and both of us wrote our own interpretation! A so seen little project🌼 hope you like it🌸

and check out her story as well TROUBLE

also check out her writings, shes amazing! @bbaronpiper

friday july 12th 2019

„Have you ever considered becoming a vegan officer?" you asked the tall handsome cop who sitting in front of you.

He looked at you in disbelief before speaking up:"Y/n, its one thing being a proud vegan but its another thing to carry out violet actions against Mr. Rodriguez. You overreacted and you have to deal with the consequences."

You scoffed and leaned back against your chair.

„And how long is that going to take here?"

He slowly lifted himself up from the wooden chair and turned to you once again, saying:"Apologize to him and maybe he wont sue you."

You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms in front of your chest.

He was the one who had provoked you by pushing you out of the way, making you fall. You had just asked him what that had been for and he had responded:"Get out of the way little girl. Maybe go to school instead of protesting against something you cant stop. Maybe eating some meat wouldnt harm you."

And yes maybe you had overreacted by kicking him in his left leg. But how were you supposed to know he had just had surgery?

When you had heard about the protest against animal cruelty in the middle of Madrid you had immediately called your best friend to tell her to make some signs.

And that said friend was now hiding somewhere, just as the cops had arrived she left you alone and ran.

In that very moment you could've screamed but you were too busy trying to hide. But they caught you eventually, thats why you were here.

„Alright Ms. Y/l/n, we only need your personal details and then you can go. You will receive a letter from us in the next week."

You looked up and listened to the police man talking to you. Then you grabbed your bag that's been sitting on the floor throughout this time and walked outside.

„Alright, sit down." An older woman ordered you.

You unwillingly sat down on another chair in the main area of the police station.

There were two other people you noticed. A young girl, maybe around the age of 11 who had probably lost her parents in the city. And a rather damaged boy your age, perhaps a little bit older, who had scars in his face.

Your gaze fell to his hand that had bleeding knuckles.

He noticed your stare and looked at you.

He didnt look very charming you figured. He looked pretty serious and was probably one of those guys that got into fights on the regular or maybe even did drugs.

„Full name." the unpleasant female cop yelled at you.

You looked at her and then took a deep breath. Your parents would kill you, but you had no choice, you were already in deep shit.

„Y/n (y/m/n) y/l/n)" you spoke and looked to the ground.

The lady mustered you and eventually wrote down the information.

„Birthday", „Place of birth" , „family status (parents names and birthdays)" and other personal information followed. You unwillingly answered each time.

Great, now you were officially fucked.

„Wait here." She said after she slammed the „questionnaire" on the front desk where a young woman took it and started typing something on her computer.

So you just sat there for what felt like an eternity until another police officer entered the room and grabbed a chair to sit in front of the guy with the bruises.

„Alright. So, beating up teenagers is now cool or why did you do it?" he asked him while leaning back.

The guy just laughed and then replied:"First of all, they are not teenagers, they are over 18. And second, this fucker wanted to rob me. I just defended myself."

You listened interested until they both looked at you, making you look away rapidly.

„So you're saying that this boy who is about 5'6 wanted to rob a man who already has a criminal record?"

The guy nodded and added:"I know how this sounds but look what he did to me! The guy can do karate. I just hit back to run away."

The officer took a long breath in before answering:"Well too bad you got caught and are already very well known here Arón."

The guy suddenly looked very mad again and leaned towards the old police man.

„I didnt fucking start this!"

The man got up, put the chair back to its original position and said:"I'll get the report ready Mr Piper."

The guy cursed and then leaned back against the wall.

You were looking at his face. The bruises you had noticed before looked very fresh, there was still some liquid blood in them. But in general he was quite handsome. He had a sharp jaw, a very chiseled face structure and a shaved head. He looked like a criminal, judging from how the criminals on tv look like.

„Qué??" he then asked, making you snap out of your thoughts.

„Uh nothing." you replied and coughed.

You turned your face away from him.

„First time in trouble huh?" he asked and you could hear the grin in his tone.

You looked back at him, looked him up and down and replied sassy:"Duh."

He chuckled at you.

Then he spoke:"Welcome to the real world."

You had to laugh at his word choice. Next he sat up right.

„Did you beat him up?" you then asked out of curiosity.

„Arón" stared right into your eyes and eventually stated:"Did you kick the man out of nowhere?"

You responded with a small laugh. „Yeah." he just claimed and looked around.

„I'm fucked." you mumbled after a couple of seconds.

You could feel him looking at you. „Nah the first time isnt as bad. Plus, you just kicked someone, you didnt kill anyone."

Your head shot around. „Ah someone knows his way around huh?"

Arón chuckled again. „Nah. Not yet." he smiled.

You noticed a little gap between his front teeth. He didnt look as dangerous when he smiled.

„You know I'm good at assuming things about people. And you dont seem like a killer girl." he suddenly said.

You smiled and scanned his face secretly.

„What do I seem like then?"

He grinned and the next thing he did was stare you up and down for a bit. Until he finally spoke:"Rich girl, who lives with her parents. She likes to say what she thinks and sometimes gets into fights because of that. But she's never been arrested before so mommy and daddy are going to ground you for that."

You scoffed at him.

But he wasn't completely wrong.

„Well. Okay." was all you could say. He was pretty right about his statement.

After sitting in the hall for a little, the old officer finally came back and handed you your ID.

„You can go."

You got up and grabbed your bag with your left hand.

„Hey princess, tell mommy and daddy I'm sorry for their criminal daughter." you heard Aróns voice as you wanted to leave the police station.

„Ha ha very funny." you replied and faked a smile that turned into a frown.

„Hey girly, can I crash at your mansion some time?" he yelled after you.

„Sure. But I wont tell you where I live." you grinned and looked at his expression.

He looked chill despite the fact that he was in trouble like you had been.

„Dont worry, I'll find you."

You nodded unbelieving and then finally kept walking.

Now you had to explain to your parents why you were late, and why you were expecting a letter from the police. Fuck.

•

You somehow managed to tell your parents exactly how it happened without being yelled at. They believed that it wasn't completely only your fault yet they werent happy about the fact that you ended up at the police. But on the other hand you had never had any problems with the law before and you were usually a good girl, so they werent worried as much as expected. You hadnt told them about the lawsuit yet though. That was a future problem.

As it was now the next day you were just at home, finishing some assignments for your second year of college that would start next week.

You had taken a shower after dinner and then went to your room to watch a show before heading to bed.

To be honest, you had almost forgotten about the whole lawsuit thing when you went to bed that night. It got late, you got stuck with the newest season of your favorite show and actually fell asleep at around 1:30.

A loud noise woke you from your sleep and you sat up right, looking around all confused.

Your room was completely dark besides the streetlights from outside your window.

You heard the knock again and a shockwave went right through your body. Where did it come from? The house was all silent since your parents' bedroom was downstairs and your sister was sleeping at her boyfriends' almost every night.

Slowly you made your way threw the hallway checking where the noise came from. Your first thought was that it was probably the neighbors cat in the backyard or something but then you realized the bangs came from the bathroom.

You grabbed the first thing near you which was a vase that had been standing on a little table in the hallway.

Eventually you walked to the bathroom and turned on the light.

You got scared immediately as you saw a face in front of the window.

After looking at the person you realized it was the guy from the police station. You closed the bathroom door and unlocked the window.

„What the fuck are you doing here?" you whisper yelled.

The guy climbed into the room. He was wearing a black hoodie with some dark grey sweatpants and a black beanie. „You said i could sleep here if I found you. And i did."

You were actually creeped out. So you just stared at him until your confidence came back. „How did you fucking find my house?" you asked and pushed him back a little bit. He grinned and leaned against the sink. „I stole the paper with your information."

Your eyes widened. „You what??" you asked him in disbelief. „You're welcome. Now they got nothing against you. For the police you dont exist."

You didnt know if you should thank him for it or hit him in the face for doing such a stupid thing. What if the police thought you stole it? „So where can i sleep then?" he asked you and took a look around. His bruises were still visible but now looked a lot more clean and healed.

„Uh." you stuttered and thought about his question.

„My parents are right downstairs. You cant just sneak in here and expect me to offer you my bed. I dont know you, you could be a psycho!" He laughed at you and stepped closer to you. You were intimidated because you couldnt step back any farther. Your back was already touching the wall next to the bathtub.

„I wont hurt you, I just need a place to sleep." You looked right into his eyes that were only inches away from yours.

He was so close he could probably hear your heart pound. It was about to jump out of your chest. You then offered him to sleep on the small couch in your room, if he promised to disappear before your parents found out.

So you passed him a blanket and two pillows and finally turned off the light the second time this night.

„Goodnight." you automatically whispered. You heard a little chuckle from the other side of the room before he whispered back a quiet:"Gracias."

•

When you woke up a couple of hours later your room was lightened by the sun. You rubbed your eyes and sat up. You almost had a little heart attack when you saw someone laying on your couch. But then you remember what happened only 4 hours before. The guy who's name you werent sure about -was it Arón?- was sleeping peacefully, his closed eyes facing you. You noticed he had taken off his shirt. You didnt see his stomach but you could see his naked, muscular arms over the blanket. And you saw some tattoos on them. And a small tattoo on his chest.

He looked quite cute when he was sleeping.

You then checked your phone and thought about what you'd do today until you heard footsteps coming upstairs.

Your mom! She always says goodbye before work. Its like a mother-daughter tradition because once when you were a kid and she didnt say bye you had a panic attack because you thought something happened to her. You jumped up from the bed towards the couch.

„Wake up! Wake up! You gotta hide, my mom's coming!" you shook him to wake him up. He replied with a raspy groan and eventually opened his eyes.

„Huh?" he asked confused looking at you. -„Hide! My mom!" You whispered and waited for him to get in the closet.

But since he took so long realizing what was going on, it happened what had to happen.

Your mom was standing in your room, staring at both of you. You in your oversized shirt and no pants and this strange boy shirtless. You were fucked.

„Uhh y/n?" she asked and looked at you in confusion.

You were all staring each other down until Arón spoke up:"Mrs. Y/l/n, im so sorry. My name is Arón, I'm your daughters boyfriend." He shook her hand smiling. Your mother on the other hand looked confused as hell. Just as you. Did he just call himself your boyfriend?

„Oh. I didnt know she had a boyfriend." Your mom replied and then actually chuckled. She laughed! She wasnt mad?

„I have to go to work now but nice to meet you Arón. See you later honey, i think we have to talk."

She said after none of you said anything.

„Likewise" Arón spoke before your mom left your room and closed the door.

„What the hell?" you yelled at him and lightly punched him in the chest.

„I had no choice. What do you want me to do? Say that I broke in here because we met at the police station?"

You ran your hand through your hair and then said:"Please go. I'm in enough trouble already. Please leave."

He nodded, then grabbed his sweater and put it back on.

„Can i sleep here tonight too? I dont really know where to go." he asked while picking up his things.

You rolled your eyes but nodded softly.

„Thank you!" He smiled and came up to you.

„Sure." you replied and crossed your arms.

He opened the door to your room and whispered a „see you tonight" before finally leaving your house.

You didnt really trust this guy. Something about him was off but you didnt know quite yet what it was.

•

Arón's been crashing at your place for a week now and a lot of weird things happened inbetween. You only saw him at night when he climbed through your bedroom or the bathroom window. Then you usually went to bed and in the morning he left. You never knew where he went and you also didnt know why he couldnt sleep at his parents'.

Your mom and dad had both talked to him before and actually believed he was your boyfriend. Around them he acted like an angel but you knew he wasnt. I mean, he's never insulted you or been rude but he certainly wasnt an example of a good guy.

One night as you were sleeping, him laying on your couch, you were woken by someones voice talking in your room.

Arón was walking around your carpet, speaking into his phone loudly.

„Whats up?" you whispered and looked at him all sleepy.

He showed you he needed a second and kept discussion in spanish.

He was pretty loud and you were worried your parents might wake up from his voice. And he seemed mad, almost aggressive.

He then hung up and before you knew, he slammed his phone on the wall. It broke immediately, shocking you intensely.

„Jeez what the fuck!" you spoke and got up from the bed.

Arón in the meantime put on his jacked and wanted to walk out of the room but you chased him, trying not to make too much noise walking downstairs.

„Where are you going?" you asked.

„I need to see someone before this certain person wakes your parents." he boldly spoke and opened the front door.

You were only wearing shorts and a top and it was chilly outside. But you were far too concerned to grab a jacket.

You closed the door behind you and ran after him.

„Y/n go to bed." he then ordered as he kept walking.

„No i need to know whats happening."

He scoffed at you and finally stopped as you both reached a person standing around the corner.

Aron was just standing there staring at the dark dressed man.

You were right behind him, carefully taking a look.

„Arón." the guy finally spoke and came up to you both, grabbing aron by the jacket.

„What do you want?" arón asked the man, sounding as if he was about to rip his head off.

„Needed to see you little brother." the guy replied and then noticed you hiding behind Aróns back.

„Oh got yourself a girlfriend huh?" he grinned and walked around him to get closer to you.

„Hey you." he smiled and reached out to touch you but you backed off and mustered him.

„She's hot." the guy then said and turned around to arón again.

„What the fuck are you doing here Juan?" Arón finally spoke up. „Taking you home. Mom is worried about you."

Aron laughed fake before claiming:"Oh really?"

Juan stepped right in front of Aron and looked at him.

„I like your new haircut brother. You look like a prisoner."

Arón didnt reply, he clenched his fist as if he was about to hit.

„If you keep going like that, you will be soon." Juan added and smiled at him.

„Fuck off im not coming home." arón mumbled and wanted to step back but Juan grabbed his arm and answered:"You. Are coming with me. Because I say so."

Aron freed his arm and yelled:"Get out of my life."

You just watched as they were yelling at each other. The reason for Aróns stubbornness wasnt quite clear for you until he said one specific thing:"Mom and Dad dont want me back! All they want was you. You're the only son they ever wanted."

He was jealous of his big brother.

What you figured out from their conversation, Juan was a troublemaker himself but then started studying and was now about to be a lawyer. Apparently their parents had always supported him, even though he used to be in deep shit often times. Arón kept claiming that he was „nothing to their parents".

At some point the situation escalated and Juan grabbed Aron rather harshly and Aron pushed him back. Which made Juan fall to the ground, hitting his head on the concrete.

Juan looked even more furious than Aron then.

He got up again and basically jumped arón.

You felt useless, watching those brothers fight in the middle of the streets.

But suddenly you decided to do something.

You went up to them and jumped on Arons back to make him stop.

„Stop this shit before someone calls the cops!" you tried to calm them down.

But Aron was so furious he threw you right off.

You landed on your back rather harshly, moaning out in pain. It had been really fucking painful.

He didnt even notice that he had hurt you, they kept yelling at each other until you heard police sirens getting closer.

Juan seemed to notice as well and let go of Aron.

„You know what, fuck you! You're useless to this family. Come back after achieving something!" Juan yelled and just disappeared between the streetlights and the bushes.

„Fuck." Aron cursed and finally turned around to you.

„Run!" he then said as the police car turned around the corner.

You got up in pain and grabbed his reached out hand.

„Faster!" he told you and pulled you with him as he was running super fast. You almost stumbled over your own feet.

„Where?" you just asked and concentrated on running as fast as you could.

Usually you hated running but right now it felt good. Free kind of. You had never run from the cops, especially not with a known criminal who wasnt as bad as you thought.

„Fuck, run faster." he yelled but you couldnt go any faster.

Eventually he let go of you to make you jump into a bush.

The cops were right behind you but didnt seem to notice you hiding, they ran past you after Aron.

And aron on the other hand did something you hasnt expected. He stopped running.

He turned around and put his hands up in the air.

What the fuck was he doing?

The police reached him and put him in a secure grip in a fast motion. He couldve gotten away easily if he hadnt stopped!

They grabbed him by the arm and pulled him through the alley of trees towards the police car.

You looked him straight in the eyes as they walked past you. He inconspicuously smiled at you.

What was he doing?

As they sat him in the police car you slowly got out of the bush.

So you just stood there. They couldve seen you but you didnt care, you just wanted to see what was happening.

Some of your neighbors were outside looking as well.

Before the car took off you felt your phone vibrate in your back pocket.

Who would text you at 3am?

You took it and opened the message.

You started to smile and looked up to see him smiling at you from the police car.

Arón:"Can I crash again when I get out?"

⭐️

#elite #cute #preference #aronpiper #omander #aronxreader #ander #preferences #imagine #police

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trixiesouphanes · 4 years

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Okay so this isnt a cool quote just the really fucked up dream I just had

So I was in the pool alone after browsing instagram all day and I was thinking about this one account that just posted a bunch of absolutely beutiful pictures and I was sad cuz I might be only to be that pretty if I had as good as a photographer/camera as them

So I went to the pool and for some reason it was night and there were a lot of other people there trying to figure out the puzzle answer for a door and I couldnt figure it out either

The next day I hopped back in the pool and there was no one there at like a really pretty sunset and at the time I was thinking about the pretty pictures on instagram I just had my arms on the side of the pool and my head down staring at the sunset

I decided to go inside when I catch a glimpse of a dude and for the stupidest reason looked like Vance waggoner but like the bojack horseman version... yeah

But also this other lady about the same age holding like a tablet I think? There were both smiling crazy as hell so I just rushed inside

I didnt think much of it thinking they were just playing a game and then it skipped to the next day, I went back in the pool

I was still alone, just kinda chillin and swimming around, then I wanted to back inside again cuz it was sunset again. But i turned to get out and my top had unhooked itself. Outside of dreams, my pool is in my backyard, surrounded by a million trees, so no one would see me put it back on

I was walking towards the stairs and i didnt realize that 'they' were still out but I was putting them back in so I didnt matter

But as soon as I started walking towards the stairs I see the man and the woman, both staring at me with these horrible smiles. The dude is behind the woman, and the woman is behind the tablet she was holding, a large tablet but somehow I knew that the camera was open. I tried to jump so I could swim away but I was too late...

I heard the sound of a camera starting to record and my jumping did not help me, I tried to say something like "IM TEN" to get them to stop or at least get the video taken down from wherever they post it, but they had stopped the recording by time I did, and they started running as fast, as fast as they could away from me and I just stood in the pool and cried.

I went back inside and who was waiting for me there? The man and the woman. In the dream my parents werent home, late shifts I think

They started trying to lecture me about how pretty I actually looked and I might feel ugly but the problem is the camera all the time

I cant rememeber word for word what they said except for this one quote I cant get out of my mind,

"You think you need a lot of makeup, but you've got it. We took this in the pool and you looked stunning anyway" and then he took the tablet and showed me the picture they took from the first day of being alone in the pool

The lighting, the aura, the angle, and just the general sound of the image was all amazing. For once, *I* was amazing. I didnt want to but they had started to change my mind slightly. I was sitting on the poolside with my head on my arms staring at the sunset with long, beautiful, wavy hair stretching out in all directions behind me.

And then, they showed me the short video

I had jumped at the second I saw the guy take a screenshot of me, my tits were perked up but you couldnt see the look of horror creep onto my face yet

And for the most horrible reason, they were out, up, and I had looked so... grown. From behind me the sunset had not only pretty colours but also did that thing where the sun had those pretty shapes from a line that always happens in movies

I hated it. I hated how much I loved it. It was so pretty, *I* was so pretty and I was exposed. At a shot, I tried to take the tablet from him but he was too fast and ran off, driving away.

I then turned to the woman. She told me her name was sherry, so at least that was good to know, I checked my phone after getting a notification of them posting something and I checked

It was me, the first picture was my long hair out, and the second made me cry.

I saw hundereds, if not, THOUSANDS of comments of people telling eachother my age, my school, my address, and worst of all, my profile

In seconds to minutes, I immediately started getting spammed with dms telling me how pretty I was, and that they wanted to see more, others telling me I was a slut, more telling me if I wanted to do "photography" with them...

I was sobbing. I had how real it all seemed. Then for some reason I wasnt in the same house anymore. I was upstairs looking down at a staircase and I saw the woman

I pushed her, obviously, she was threatining me with a taser if I said anything to anyone. So I pushed her

I took the cord she had the laser powered with and ripped it apart, and then started smashing glass on her wherever I could find it.

She was knocked out by now, and I ran and sat down screaming about why I had done this, and why this was happening

And in that moment of absolute helplessness, that desperation for something to stop going wrong, something to stop it, I rememebered theres a landline in the house

Ya know brain, I couldve gotten a dm from someone saying how they knew this was all something horrible happening, and that they wanted to help me. That would have been something really nice, brain. But no, you had to make me fill up with white hot rage and stomp to the landline phone

(This is where it gets worse)

I saw the woman was up and she was going to tell people that j was insane and was going to check me into a mental institution so no one could fight against her

I was trying to call 911 but I kept not getting the numbers right, because dreams suck like that. While I was doing this, she too, was calling the cops

I finally got the numbers right and waited for them to pick up but I heard nothing. It rang and rang for what felt like at least two whole minutes but... *nothing*

That's what did it. That's what made me feel like my life was over and I was going to throw up. Nit the picture, that would somehow eventually go away. But a mental institution? I would never get out to live

Then I heard sirens, and i wanted to destroy her

So I got up and grabbed everything I could to knock her unconscious again, and whatever didnt it still felt a little good to beat the shit out if her

I went outside and for some reason, dream reasons probably, the cops werent there anymore, it was my mom

It was dark as hell outside, and I had forgotten about how I was still wearing my swimsuit. My mom was trying to be angry, thinking that I had been swimming at dark, then she saw me crying and covered in bruises and broken glass.

I told her that sherry was still inside after showing people porn of me, "bastards"

I watched my mom call the police and when we both went inside, the Vance guy was there looking at what had happened to his partner

My mom tore him to shreds with screaming, and I could see he was about to start running, so I slowly creeped back outside and was going to grab him from the side door

I heard his footsteps going fast so I quickly opened up the door and grabbed him, threw him to the ground, and bit his neck. With my jaw chomped down, I jumped up, with a gory mess surrounding me

The police arrived and while I was thinking about how I was going to say something like "temporary insanity" in court, I woke up

Like I said, that dm could have saved me. If you see this happeneing, just tell them that its *okay* that everything is going to get better, that their life isnt over.

But I'm awake now, no swimsuit, no glass in my arms, not a slice of someone's jugular clamped down with blood filling my cheeks

Just a few tears and the hate for my brain

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of-faunsandyellowflowers · 4 years

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i got tagged by @labyrinth1212 in order to answer ten questions then come up with ten for others to answer. we shall see if i can even come up with questions...ha

What was the first piece of art you can remember making as a child?

My mom is an artist, so she was always encouraging me to do artwork. i remember drawing a chickadee at around 7 years old that ended up being framed and sold at a charity auction. My mom had handed it the charity organizer and they decided to put it up for auction....it was pretty cool

Have you ever been able to sense the spirits around you? (ie house hobs & brownies, kobolds, domovoy, nisse, or even if you’re in the right area nymphs or court fae & plant/tree spirits and such)

Ever since i was little ive seen things, felt things, heard things, so forth. it got blocked when i got older but yes ive been able to. we have some local fae out in my backyard due to how much plant life we have on our land. That and I'm pagan and constantly working with spirits

What is one rule you created for yourself that you try to adhere to but have difficulty doing?

As of right now I would say buying things i do not need/binge eating when im in my depressive state

What is one rule others have created for you that you have intentionally broken, and does your defiance hold meaning to you?

When i was Wiccan, it was to not curse, not work with demons...so forth. i broke those, because i found out the Wicca path is...well not for me but also inherently biased towards magick and i do not like the idea that the only real magick is light magick, on top of the threefold law, their classification of deities alongside demons being viewed as evil (plus uh...the guy who created Wicca was a disgusting man. Wicca is 75 years old.) Broke that off and became pagan and luciferian which makes me feel much much better.

Are you an avid reader or consumer of other media? What sorts of stories do you like best? If not stories, what practical things have you liked best that you gleaned from reading/watching?

I LOVVVVEEEEEEEEE reading. But I also am a huge movie lover. more so than TV but i will watch TV series as well. My tastes for books mostly are fantasy, horror and romance. my favorite is fantasy with romance (but actually has a good storyline and isnt primarily focused just on romance.) My favorite media is horror, romance, fantasy, true crime and just bizzare documentaries.

Have you kept any toys or comfort objects from your childhood? What are they?

I have some porcelain dolls that are now in storage that my Grandma gave me, alongside some stuffed animals and books that my parents got me.

If there was one moment in time that you could alter, not just in your life but /any one moment/ with your own force of will imposed on actors/forces outside of human control, what would you alter and why? Or would you at all, and why?

Theres a lot honestly......I think though it would be my fifteenth year. prior to that, i was having some mental issues and bullying but my fifteenth year was the year that really spiraled. Some sexual trauma happened to me on my 15th birthday, then again 3 months later....and ever since then ive kinda had a pattern of dating men who have just abused me, sexually assualted me, so forth. I really wish i could take back a lot thats happened honestly.....maybe i wouldnt be so fucked up now idk

What’s a symbol you associate strongly with yourself? (Can be things like animals, plant types, pop culture, etc!)

White stag, elk/deer for animals, Elhaz rune, celtic swirl symbols that im blanking the name on, green, trees, and sunflowers

Have you had a moment which, for you, defined the meaning of happiness in a new way?

When I finally remembered my soul husband. He is everything to me....and I love him and miss him so much that I wish he was incarnated into this life with me now. No one can compare to the love i feel for him....

If you could ask any question of an all-knowing being and have it answer in full and complete honest detail, what would you ask it?

What is the reason that this will be my most painful/ hardest life? to Cernunnos. I know theres a meaning behind it, he probably wants me stronger....but FUCK

Questions of my own

1. If you have any past life memories, what are they? If you do not believe in past lives, why?

2. What is one thing about yourself you wish you could change?

3. What is one thing about yourself that you love?

4. What is the hardest food/dessert dish youve made and how did it turn out?

5. Do you have a skill thats unique? if so, what is it

6. Where have you traveled and where was your favorite?

7. Have you ever astral projected? If so, tell me about it.

8. What is your favorite song lyric?

9. How do you feel about aliens?

10. Favorite experience with a spirit/deity if youve had any?

I tag these people, but no pressure you dont have to answer mine! @angiethewitch @scarletarosa @chasingfae @crystalleighwitchery @wreckranger and anyone else who would like to do it

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near-seth-experience · 4 years

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This is a long, personal, 3 in the morning kind of ramble. Writing as if I'm explaining things to others tends to help me get my feelings out. Don't feel obligated to read this, but you're welcome to. I'm mostly just thinking out loud here. I'm on mobile, so sorry if this gets long. I don't know if Keep Reading cuts are possible on the app, and if they are I havent learned how to insert them. I'll probably delete this later so whatevs.

I think this topic could apply to a lot of selfless people out there, so I think putting some things into words might be helpful to others.

Anyways, I've thought about this before, and I'm not sure if I've ever talked about it, but I'm pretty sure I've pinpointed a pretty massive reason why I feel lonely and incredibly dissatisfied all the time:

I've always felt that I was considerate to a fault. I'd never put my needs ahead of the needs of others. To this day, I still have lots of difficulty when it comes to looking after numero uno. I learned early on that I needed to keep others appeased in order to feel safe. My siblings frequently butted heads growing up, and one of them often had these big fights with my dad. Lots of tears, yelling, a rare hole in the wall, that kinda thing. It fell on me to keep tempers from flaring. Ultimately, I became the kid my dad always called when he needed help with yardwork. I became the kid who would hand my mom a soda after a heated phone call with a high-maintenance sibling, and I'd sit and let her vent to me. I became the kid who would unload the dishwasher or take out the trash without being asked to do so. Whenever things got heated, I would shift into the role of family de-escalator. Point is, I've always lived for others, and no, this isnt one of those posts talking about living for yourself, yadda yadda yadda. I'm thinking in a different direction, but it'll wrap back around.

Recently I've been trying to think of this in a positive light. As shitty as things might have been, I've grown up to be incredibly considerate. It's one of my better qualities, the beginning and end of my list of good things I can confidently say about myself as a person. It was always out of necessity or fear. It was always pretty damn unappreciated. It always kind of felt like I was everyone's bitch. But it was good of me all the same.

Now that I'm my own person, I've realized two things. Firstly, I love helping out. I love knowing that someone is better off for having me by their side. It's kind of why I loved proofreading in my college English courses. I loved being thanked and feeling valued and wanted for my efforts. I loved the gratification of knowing that someone's story or essay received better marks thanks in very small part to my help. I love knowing I made a mark in someone's life for the better in some way. My personal golden rule is essentially to ask yourself at every turn if there's some little thing you can do to ease another person's burden. If the answer is yes, and the means are within reason and your comfort zone, do it.

The second thing I realized was something that is said a lot: relationships flow both ways. Nobody in my life— not my 2 or 3 superficial friends, not my family, literally nobody— has deserved the amount of effort I have spent for their sakes. I'm burnt out. I'm dissatisfied with my life because everything I do for the sake of another person feels like a chore. I am constantly taken for granted, and the only reason I still bother is because it's even tougher to go against my nature and do nothing. It's not like I'm asking for recognition, but just once I'd like to hear sincerity when someone thanks me. Even better, I'd like someone to legitimately care enough to look into my eyes for a change, see how not-okay I am, and ask themselves if theres anything they could do.

I can only think of one time that has ever happened, and the circumstances are still a trigger of mine so I'm gonna keep the story brief.

(TW Death & Animal Death. Skip this next paragraph if you need to)

My senior year of high school, a freshman was found dead in the school swimming pool. No foul play suspected, people just didn't see him go under during or between gym class. Real tragic. So the school goes on lockdown while they look into things, and then they cancel the rest of the day. I go home, and I find my dog dead. She was old and losing vision, and she fell into our backyard swimming pool. It was partially drained for the winter, so she didnt drown, we think falling down four or five feet onto the concrete of the shallow end while blind may have just been a massive shock. Heart attack, or she hit her head or something. Who knows. Anyways, my mind connected the two events. Two pool-related deaths on the same day. For the first class on the following day, my teacher arranged the desks in a big circle and it was honestly a really good hour-long discussion about loss and grief, but it hit me so hard that people thought I knew the freshman student. The teacher, and a friend of mine both came up to me after class, I told them what happened, got a hug from the friend, and sent home for the day by the teacher.

(/End TW)

That was the only time in memory where someone has ever looked at me and knew I wasn't alright, and I imagine it must have been very obviously written on my face. Now, back to the point. The amount of times I've seen the troubled faces and heard the troubled voices of those I care about and did any little thing to help is severely disproportionate to the amount of reciprocation. It's like I actively look to see if people need me, but they never even care enough to consider looking if I need them.

So, here are my takeaways:

I'm dissatisfied with life because I'm tired of bending over backwards for people who don't even deserve to have me, and that's basically all I'm doing with my life.

I'm lonely because that covers literally everyone I know personally.

So fuck 'em.

I feel like I have some kind of void inside me, and don't think I'll ever have true fulfillment in this regard unless life throws me a cheesy series of events that results in me finding my soulmate or at least something mutual. (Lmao, yeah right. Press X to doubt).

People often say "live for yourself" or "you dont need others to be whole" in regards to this kind of thing. While that's generally sound advice, people do have different natures. Living for others is how I live. There's no way around that, it's who I am, so my interpretation of "living for myself" is choosing for myself who to live for.

#sethposting #no idea how to tag this #might delete this later #golly oversharing sure is fun!

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nocancer · 5 years

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Tryna by Cancer moon

Before Young T went to bed he poured a glass of water and looked out the kitchen window to his backyard and noted how the snow made 3:00 A.M. look like 6:00 P.M.. Only difference being that if he stepped outside with his glass of water to the seeming twilight he wouldn’t be able to hear the rush-hour traffic like he usually could if it was Friday and 6:00 P.M.. Young T didn’t bother going outside because the snow was still falling a little and it’d be there when he woke up. And the neighborhood would still be silent, as it always was.

Young T woke up and his fan was still humming its white noise which he needed to sleep at night even though it was January and his dad was reluctant to leave the heat on over night. The small fan sat on his dresser and was pointed away from his bed towards his window which emitted a sharper and more blinding afternoon light than what he was used to. He checked his phone for the time, it was about noon - about the time where his parents bedroom door would open and their TV would blast the local news and his persian cat, Jo Jo, would meow at his door from which would force him out of bed to open the door so Jo Jo could jump up on his bed to sleep on his pillow from which he would either start his day or keep doing nothing. This time he laid back down, idly on his bed, with the covers pulled over his head to lessen the effects of his slight cat allergy. Jo Jo had a flat face and was grey and fat, and he occupied the entire pillow. Young T thought of how he wanted to trade lives with Jo Jo.

Young T couldn’t fall back to sleep, so he looked at his phone. He bireifly looked at worldstarhiphop, Twitter, then Instagram.

Then he went to bed with a head ache and woke up in college.

9/27/17 wednesday

Tycho: excuse me, hey, getting along just fine, I see? Yolandra: hey, and yeah, sort of, just studying, whats going on with you T: Nothing, the usual, i guess, being responsible, trying not to offend anyone. Y: Oh but you're so innocent. If anyone's offended its on them, not you. T: But my presence alone, I dont know, like I'm out of place or something. And I just want to tell people, Yeah, so, I know how strange it is, me being here and all. Y: You're a free spirit amongst prisoners. That was my favorite part about getting to know you.

Tycho: After all these years, not for a second did i think you were right for me. And thats why i liked you. Cus I'm crazy. Yolandra: thats okay? what do you mean?, i want to get inside your head again. T: [pause] Most people wouldnt understand. Y: Don't be too cool for school. Im not most people. If I knew what was good for me, I'd have cut ties with you a long time ago. But im a crazy bitch too. Havent you realized? T: Yes. Youre highly psychic when it comes to "free spirits" like me - and you, though maybe, "lost soul" would be a better term for me. Though I dont mind being lost. It keeps things interesting. Anyway, you should spend your energy on solving world hunger than worrying about me. Y: dont be so difficult. catching vibes isnt easy you know? coming for your type. Who knows, maybe youre worth it. Tycho: well, your the first to try me like this. im mysterious for a reason. Yolandra: And do you know why exactly? T: Thats for me to decide. Y: It's so damn frustrating. But I guess some things are better left unsaid. T: Most people wouldnt understand that, what youre saying. Indescribable feelings we know happened but fall short in explaining. That sort of thing. Y: I call those. "You had to be there" moments. Tycho: Honestly i never gave up on you, only myself, thinking you were different from my dream girl. it took months for me to realize that but when i did the only thing i wanted to do was forget i ever met you. Yolandra: than what? T: the rest of these simple people that surround us, they see in a way thats opposite of what i am. Y: how convenient it must be. to blame your problems on people you dont even know. and just say "fuck it." I envy you. T: just my luck haha. of being born into myself, my personality forgive me, i dont mean to be such a downer. thats my ego talking Y: you had to be there T: where? Y: in my memories. T: it matters that much to you? Y: if I could find you in a crowd, just to say something, anything, even if i have to scream it in your ear, then you'd know how much it means to me. Tycho: I'll be waiting for you to say hola.

9/30/17 saturday In the midst of an obnoxious trap beat I remember what my grandpa used to tell me. It's the harsh realities of life that stick with us the most. A dream is only a dream until you make it come true. Never hit a women no exceptions." He would say to a 7 year old me. Now I wish I had the balls back then to tell him that his strict army ass probably never had a dream that went beyond what he already knew. Like revisiting the same shitty cloud of meaningless thoughts every night till you reincarnate into someone who revisits a slightly less shitty cloud over and over until they become someone like me, who lives on the cloud everyone strives to be, forgetting those elvish looking folks of the below who never leave the house except to get groceries. There's comes a point in life where you just gotta be honest with yourself, and say hey, i just dont match the freqeuncy anymore. It's okay. I can still pretend like that one MGMT song, but im fading away. Fuck. I get naseous and imagine a cop coming around the corner which kills my vibe for a second so I take my headphones off, spit on my finger tip, ash the blunt, and walk to my dorm. I'm in water so muddy that the surface is all I have to cling onto. What lies beneath is my past, housing the memories like demons. Of course, her face, would be in the middle. Falling more faintly in detail as I wake up sober and go to sleep high and dream nonsense that somehow doesnt go away like the usual forgotten dream you usually wouldnt give a second thought to otherwise but this morning my head feels foggy and theres a vague recollection of a search going on but I dont know what it's for and my chances of knowing diminish as I go deeper into the day. A search, it's on repeat, like my brain is an actual TV. Thats probably a normal thought to have, though I've never heard it in real words. "Is my brain a TV." I say to myself. if you can call it that. but those take the shape of monsters of which, as if I had no choice, I find myself preparing for so when the moment really matters, I can either go down in a blaze of glory or come out on top like the badass I imagine myself to be. All I know is that I was born and now I have to live.

Maybe because my past is so glaringly depicted onto a person I refuse to acknowledge. All that shit was a dream. The only thing that matters is the present, right? Bill Nye the Science Guy would agree with that. Back in elementary whenever we had a sub for the day, a cart would roll in and thats how you knew. I watched his show in elementary school, when we had a substitute teacher. Those were the best days. I had no worries then, able to speak freely with no inhibitions as if duality had nothing to latch its mechanical claws onto. Wait, I'm thinking about the past again. And thats going way back. Fuck! Okay.. On your feet soldier! That baby momma drama dont fly out here in the real world. out here it's the winners and the losers, haves and the have-nots, thats the way it is.

We're here to endure anxiety. I dont care about this slave shit. I think im gonna drop out. These fucking people bro, I shouldve known better than to come here. Deep down in the recesses of my highly realized capacity for recognizing everyday objects I'm hearing the voice my computer makes. It just so happens that I'm a little different from everyone else. I see things. Feel them. Some are expressed. Others proccessed. Though most get put away for later. These things I speak of is all they'll ever be to Some bad. Some good. But in the end I understand the root cause is nothing and thats where I pretty much exist anyway. In between any and all things, including people. At least that what it feels like. So although I may come off as shy and maybe a bit soft to the average layperson I aint no bitch and I wont hesitate to put my body on the line to make some headway when it comes to cementing my place as a savage demon in the halls of said layperson's memory bank. Someone who is wise would recognize the virtue of my conviction It is only because I must prepare for that singular moment, an unknown point in the fabric of time and space. To where if theyre not careful, a life's worth of energy should be pitted against me as if one were to stand a chance against the power housed within my vessle. Theres no such thing as a polite gesture. Nobody asks me how my day is "going" for no other reason than to relay to me how their own special day is "going". reckoning between a humble acknowledgement that I can never truly grasp the reason for existing and therefor should play my part in keeping the peace, versus pure badass in a world of sheep. And the more I get to know my surroundings, the more I reach erradically for the inherent bliss found within the path of satanism.

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Spmewhere off in the distance, Crermoth sits on a palm tree idly sculpting astral suspensions into a tattered fervor of mesh for working the keys of ineptitude. She is oblivious to her surroundings, not caring for chatty and gossip which she cant seperate between her reality and theirs because she is sensitive and when the the fully recognized sage, Esoh, confronts her about she says she much prefers it that way.

Their balance among them. With the wind at her side, Hojihka refuses the initial preference of her stillness and moves in a nameless precession by the whim of her ancestral birth right. "aaa may-ee soo shay-noo"

Her possession wakes up without a name. a new and more elaborate transposition of jubilee onto each successive indifference. The attention to one area renders the outer confines a vacuum enveloping the excess span unto both of their liable to taken over like a plain, sole, unconscious will. It certainly does its job Crermoth and has become something of a plan b pill thats taken during one of her many unpredictable episodes of self hate and general spiritual torment. One time she told J-Money she was a demon in a matter of factness that still haunts J-Money in moments when he pretends it doesnt bother him.. Reliant upon the interaction of her world and the next. Crermoth normally prefers being to herself on nights like these, that way she can answer any calls at a moments notice. A dimension close enough so that she may assist her friends in earthly manners of which, by the natural law of limitation, those lacking the incessant nobility of the Orisha cannot be bothered to see to themselves, less the tether between her world and theirs be rendered a useless tattered fervor of mesh that gives way to any varitable knock of an over arching brood of usurpment of the mundane frequency. “I need space. I only have but so much light of see to her calling as a being of light, assisting the pieces of herself that we’re lost during the falling. You remember that don’t you?” She says “Of course I remember. But only as a matter of fact. Upon closer reflection I fail to see the relevance of a subtle hunch with no bearings in the present.”

I must know that I’m allowed to be straight up with you, else I run the risk of straying from my calling. If there’s anything I hate more than being ignored its catching myself being lazy to the voices. “She musn’t veer to far.” Esoh said on a mountain.

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The woman wakes up to look around. Store-bought soil, empty bike-rack, office building. "Harder. Think harder. Come on girl." She stands for dignity's sake. A car traces a hilltop in the distance. She raises her cold arms to the sun in defiance of stillness. Nothing is in tune with the nature of her being besides the stale wind of a coming day. "Where are you?" The car freezes as it reaches the horizon, but the sound remains on loop. Whirrrrr A portal manifests abruptly and Elegua arrives on a chariot of skulls. "Erzulie, madame, how nice it is to see you this early in the morning." A whisp of fire cleans her face and the car continues over the horizon. "It really shouldnt be, not like this. Where Im at should tell a lot you know." Erzulie said. "Quite a dense reply to a longtime friend, dont you think" "Hmm, considering how I slept in a bush last night and dont remember a thing. I shouldnt need to explain myself." "No? is the friz on your hair not matching the blood on your knees? I can't tell which." Elegua said. Or is the attitude possessing you as if theres no consequence for ill-manneredness? I cant tell which." So long as one's not so dense up his selfish ass that he aint notice." "Oh so now all a sudden you about the finer things in life? We can switch places less you miss me. Erzulie said. Im only pointing out the obvious." Elegua said. Erzulie replied with silence, forcing life to flash before his eyes. She learned this from her Mother, Darkness. "Attitude is possessing you. I cant tell why but its a poison I dont deserve. I was only trying to help" He continued. "I just dont fuck with being called too early. So long as youre not too dense up your ass to take notice, safe to say i'm in some shit right now." "Clearly. A product of consequence." Elegua said randomly. "Yeah, recognize. Please, for me, baby?" "No more testing your patience, Goddess immortal of justice. Save that for what I came to tell you about." "Take me to cleanliness, saintly promise of wisdom. For im not feeling myself." They left the scene to the past and pondered on the pyramid they had just made with each other. "It's nice to be home." Erzulie said. Flying over the palm trees brought Elegua back to his power. "On the basis of love." Elegua said. The salt-water washed away all glimpses of doubt Erzulie had of her beauty. And she harnessed the pastels of the ocean. Thus, all guilt was abolished and unconditional love was convinced to dance within them. Drying his body under the rays of Amen reminded Elegua of his first words. Long ago, before Time was born. "O Father, you are so brilliant." "Thank you, son. I am the Light" "Then tell me, Father, if you are the Light, and are so brilliant, then why is it you flee from Darkness?" "All I do is my purpose, which seeks to balance harmony with creation. Although it is much more complicated than that. Like always I suppose. I'm afraid you ask me a question that I cannot answer. Here, because you are so curious, I will show you." "I'm ready, Father." Light grew brighter causing Elegua to cry in his recollection of what it felt like to say words. The links in his mind straining to pull in the right words. Not too plain to where the moment would be lost in happen stance, and not too radical so that his manhood could stay irrefutable (to convey meaning.) Then Light disintegrated into everything and Elegua searched for Light ever since. So Elegua went to the crossroads, and prodded Darkness for Light's wherabouts, "I want to relive the the moments before he left for eternity. Where can I find him?" Without a hug or a kiss, she told him to let go of his experience in order to live in the now, "Take his place and move forward. Grow up, your Daddy's gone cus you never did." "How could you say that me? I love you, Mom. Yet all I get is hate. Why are you hiding the truth from me?" "If I don't hate you, then who will? You got so much to learn that my heart breaks into brass. You must leave, understand me? LEAVE, before I do what your Father did and them some. I'm this close. Believe me." With nowhere else to go, Elegua obeyed the commands of his Mother. Although lonely at first, the spirits of the dead related to his despair, and offered to guide him through all the known and unknown realms of Ether, so long as he guided the spirits of the living to his Mother. So that the dead could learn for themselves the origins of their being dead. And when Light came back, they could say "Father, we know of Hate, now teach us Love." Elegua tried telling them that it was hopeless, that his Father was there, just not in the way they imagined, that they we're actually his Father and they had to realize it through an altered perception. but that negativity only made them more adament to their cause which annoyed Elegua into a manic spell of existential irony which persisted during times of war with the Snakes on 5th density. One battle in particular Badly wounded, he pulled his chariot with his arms to the middle of a corn-field on a full-moon during the Solstice, it was there he made a pact with his self, to never be ignorant to the fact that fate was an inescapable constant within all contributors to existence. That the very fabric that distinguishes the dead from the living was comprised of scattered shards of an indestructable essence that attached itself to the spirit-body via fate which is the Father of destiny. That the collective conscious is woven by the thread of Fate, thus binding a common goal, or Destiny, inherent to all beings of both polarities, thus setting in motion the spiral of gnosis, which lends itself to the spreading of keys that open the doors to helping each other fulfill each others Purpose. "I will collect the pieces of my Father so that I may speak with him again as I did as a child. I will never forget you because I love you. You are everything to me, which is all I ever could be. Please, I want to know why you flee in the face of Darkness."

____10/9/17 monday

My pace quickens as I veer away from the crowd onto the handicap stairs. I silently count my steps to give off a pensive, non-assuming vibe. Over by the quad theres crows just walking on the grass. Yet I'm the only one who seems to notice, even from a distance. The busses haul ass down Memorial St. I've learned to always be on alert because I'll never know whats waiting for me when I turn my attention off the floor and become reminded of string theory. Artificial energy, cork boards with grime on the edges, tunnel of dull ends, spongy plywood cielings. as i step with my head down and in every so sudden a demarcation in the bricks, the reptiles answer emails. This is where I'm going. Because my soul chose to live here at some point in time not too long ago considering the relationship between all that the universe has to offer and my general apathy towards said all as in any and all one. Which has become quite of a bore ever since the first week ended I had to come to terms with the reality that friends won't simply fall into my lap like they would if I wasnt such a masochist for being lonely. The row of pillars turn to one and all I see is the contentment in the air of the lobby. In the hallway are casually turned faces which glide about in a linear fashion like the ghost of a lost bride.. I get a side-view of the people afraid to admit that this is far from the paradise we expected it to be. The brochure in our acceptance letters didn't include the drunken nights of another dimension. I'm inside the life of an architect. One who's dead by now, but lives on through his work. I'm not going anywhere, the building would say, if it could talk. And I suppose it can. Because I just had the thought, and nothing is ever truly wrong without another thought to compare it to. But then if buildings could speak existed first, and was allowed to grow and find its place in the universe, then it'd be established enough to not warrant an adversary. But the question remains where, if it existed, was its fate organized before coming into my mind, awaiting my final judgement. Substitute me for a unicellular collective conscious and it seems like we're all dealers of fate her on planet earth of the milky way of the universe of the whatever comes next (should we ever know for sure). he or she deserves all the credit for it manifesting onto the grid of my consciousness, which is a zig zag joint's worth of a high right now. The perfect amount for not giving a fuck while still staying slick enough for witty comebacks. Which wouldn't hurt right now. This building isn't going anywhere. Though I wish it would. Because I dread what I'm about to do How he must have pained to communicate something he could call his own while maintaining a dignified and safe, always safe, because god forgive, well, you know, , putting the pen to the pad, drawing collumns in front of a Victorian fassad Succumbing to authority just to eat with a roof over your head and not freeze your ass off like a homeless freak. Profit margins in the final half of quarter one are lower than 1 standard deviation to what is considered by corporate to be optimal. As of now, the college has no incentive to ship in product from outside sources. All inventory must be stored in house to the buyer's demand. You better not be late.

___ On the parking deck

Tycho: “I had a dream I was on an internet forum. Someone posted the words: “life is an endless hell. With a blurry picture of a street at night-time. Not much different from what’s in front of us. I thought that made sense, until I scrolled down, to see a video looking out the windshield of a vintage rolls royce, coasting along a pacific highway. And the lines kept going. Next thing you know I’m falling down a pitch black waterslide, dreading my destination. If I never woke up I have a funny feeling i know where it was leading.

Preacher: In that instance did you feel the need to repent for your sins?

Tycho: No. that didn’t cross my mind. It was too late at that point.

Miranda: “I used to.

T: What made it stop?

Miranda: Seeing all the happy people around me. And knowing that they’ve been through the same shit. Break-ups, Death in the family, just generally feeling lost.

My heart was broken ”

T: Getting over the mind can be a dark place when it has nowhere else to rest. You can train it to think anything.”

Miranda: True

Tycho: Lately Ive been taking these long drives late at night into the boonies. Just to see where I up. I realized theres so many lives I’ll never know about.

If i wasnt born into money maybe I’d be humble enough to hate myself for even thinking such a thing.

How’d you get out of that?

Miranda:

These know it all professors are getting on my nerves. I fear Im crossing into an abyss I’ll never fully understand. Honestly I can’t fuckin stand these people. What name do I have to make for myself that i haven’t already experienced in the depths of my soul?

Tyco: You know how they try to act like they all official and shit, like I won’t see past it.

Miranda: [agreement] They do that.

Tyco: [stream of consciousness] So I just told her look I know its a rule, but I’m all about learning at my own pace and no disrespect i love her but Mrs. Soso can only go so far in telling me how to write. You can give tips and tricks but at the end of the day, I’ve been developed my writing style.. Like I thought we were done with all this high school shit. Well I didnt say that.

M: And what’d she say?

Tyco: She was like “As you get further into your major 90% of your assignments will be in essay format.. we require full participation “ At this im like she gonna hit me with the book like hell nah THEN outta nowhere She said “However, I also believe in 2nd chances.”. On the outside I was cool but inside I was like “*fist bump* yo i cannot fail outta college like someone watchin out for me idk who but-

Chad: fuck that shiiiiit *holds up white rum in front of street light”

Friend in background: 12! 12! 12!

Abrupt scene change. Camera shows Tyco zoned out. Then police car, as Tyco begins to hide behind the tree hes smoking on.

My black hoodie and phone-call to my dealer will still be with me tomorrow as I do the same thing.

(From a dream 10/23)

Tyco is driving around serving with Shantel when she lights her phone up from the passenger seat and puts the phone to her ear.

Shantel: You are not finna be talkin all that mess on my phone. Be honest with yourself. Don’t lie. You a hoe ass bitch.

?? Caller: Why are you even calling me? I dont give a fuck.

Shantel: Wait till I pull up then and slap the shit out you. Would that be better sweety?

?? Caller: I’m at Kawaii’s 30 deep. Bring your lil boyfriend and see what happens.

Shantel: Try me bitch.

[ The economy sedan turns right on red seemingly without breaking. ]

Tyco: 30 deep huh?

Shantel: With them ratchets.

Tyco: She sounds scared as hell aint nobody sticken up for her like that. You know they gonna talk shit right but soon as we throw them hands they gon be like, I dont know that bitch.

Shantel: nah but she stupid tho like not even worth all that extra

Tyco: We’re going. Wheres that nigga house i’ll waze that shit and we get there we just pop off. Aite?

[Not looking at the road, but to her, coasting down an average 2-lane with box neon trimmed tire shops and drive-thru windows governed stately as immovable beasts of mothership stores lurk behind low-sodium trenches of the new world order’s surveillence agenda for mass poplations en masse. ]

Just follow me. I’m walkin in and gonna start a commotion just bussin and you just break this bottle on her mother fuckin head and we out.

Shantel: haaah what okay

Tyco: You’re gonna fuck her shit up som serious.

Shantel: She talk shit about you.

Tyco: It’s in the stars babe for real.

Shantel: You gonna help me find that bitch?

Tyco: You my fucken queen I love you and I got you.

Neighborhood entrance.

Cars parked for miles.

House identified first glance.

Park.

Car doors..

Hip-Hop

Grass.

Walkway.

Steps.

Porch.

Door opens and yellow tops within the frame.

!! WHERE YOU AT// YALL FAKE AND CANT FINESSEE !!

AAAAAH YOU UGLY DARK SKINNED NIGROS

The caller is sitting on a couch ass to ass with other dudes. Looking stupid.

She never saw Shantel. Who came upon her like The Ring.

She has become a party magnet. It is a Slayer concert now. Nobody knows who’s who. Though Tyco is surely getting his ass beat. He catches of glimpse of Shantel’s fat ass ducking through the doorway and he could die right now and it wouldnt matter.

*GUN SHOT*

FUCK GOIN ON HERE MANE

“This not the place for you bro. - White boy comin up here in my place of business - Tryna pop shit off like you really not a bitch”

Kawaii looks up with his glock-9 extendo at his GD party mostly all gone just like that. The poor girl is still leaking.

“She need to go to the hospital.” Her friend says.

He points the glock at his head. Despair.

“Look around before I kill you.” An invitation.

Tycho: “I sold a 4 oz today after my accounting exam. I could be GD, 74, rock purp. whatever it be its nothing but Respect yo. Got connects with chad and Becky nahmean dog. Could put you on to some numbers they white and they fiends. Please OG.

“How much for a zip.”

“80, gas.”

“Was that yo bitch?”

“yea”

Kawaii: You lyin to me?

“No.”

“She eat your ass?”

“Yeah and bounce on my BIG ASS DICK” Tyco says with autism.

K walks away.

T: they don't even sell Molly bruh

K is you fucken high you dummies. Beat this nigga ass. *Tyco imagines the why the fuck you lyyin vine and remembers the exact moment he realized that wasnt an original song but actually a spin off of a classic throwback jam by the 90s R&B group “Next” in their hit single “Too Close”.. He was driving home from the cafe he used to write high school essays in while smoking a menthol american spirit with the windows rolled down on a spring evening playing KISS 104.1 Atlantas classic jams. Then he realized there was a full 6 minute video of the vine on youtube. After watching it he felt gayer. Thats all it did for him.

Tycho wakes up on living room floor.Terry (random G, on couch): *Hands him note× Kawaii said he's sorry. No hard feelings ya heard dog?

Tyco: I guess thugs act on impulse. *looks at note* and don't count on a gahdamn thing you bitchass motherfuckers. Tyco walks into class with a black eye. The Professor talks about interest loans. Tyco meets Moe after class in parking lot.

*Moe: Waddup

Tyco: It's lemon og I just got in.

Moe: Bet. Those last cookies you got. Bomb dude. It had them frar mother fuckers leanin like they can't handle that purp like that nahmean.*laughs*

Tyco: I got some backwoods you wanna hotbox.

Moe: Yo I'm down.

10/24/17 thursday

____ Last night I decided not to hate myself. The look I get from them doesnt bother me. Really, its a simple sign from nature that I’m used to by now. A wrong impression can sustain the fog of memory, of which I will be seen from the lens of another dimension, with not a care in the world, an angel in disguise. Thats the crux of my life up to this point. To no longer hate myself. But appear as if I still do. The nameless place in our past with no address., one of which even a frat boy can relate to. This invisible standard that’s thrown us into the pits of despair must be addressed. To seperate the real from the fake. Like the others are sleep walking through class fronting like they dont see me. The pyramid of perspective is an accordian overlayed on my third eye, televising scenes of sleep walkers who stay fronting like they dont see me. Walking behind the parking deck where green dumpsters were with my phone to my ear is a feeling that remains within me until I do the same thing over again in a few days. Buying in bulk never appealed to me. And if a 20 a g was the price thered be nothing my lonely ass could do. Fuck this worthless paper, I tell myself.

I tell myself. Anyone who catches my glimpse pauses for a split second, calibrating my own opinion of the why in life. A definition of nuance that was never meant to be expressed but felt. To sense what I’ve been wanting, free and alone, after all those wasted days.

I’m signalling. Though I havent been approached yet.

Figuring that would resolve the look I give other people. I mean, christ, I turned 18 last March. And spent the Summer in a last ditch effort to secure an identity before I made my plays in college. For too long I’ve avoided the call of the light and in return have gotten blank stares.

(SOMEHOW gets wrapped up into a petty conversation with sorirty girl (on top of parking deck.)

Clarissa: I was the only one alone in the entire party.

Tycho: Why didnt you leave?

T: Dont worry I dont wanna know your major.

C; Good cus it keeps changing.

T: You think you know everything dont you? This world aint nothin babe.

C: Why do you say that?

T: What do you wanna know? That I get money? Thats nothin.

Clarissa drifts off.

Hannah: So Stacy’s telling me the banners weren’t in that right place and we’re like an hour away from starting and we still haven’t even got the chairs in order and barely anyone who was suppose to be here has shown up yet.

Tycho: Where were they?

“Well for one, Candace, I dont know whats her problem lately, but shes been gone because her best-friends now telling her she’s not rushing anymore but thats honestly a relief because that girl wheres winged eyeliner and thinks shes better than us.”

Tycho: Oh, I think I’ve seen that girl at the library or something.

I intuit that in order to justify her reasoning for not liking the winged eyeliner girl, that she channeled my very own resonant storm cloud of which I emit silently in the face of vanity..

H: Well you’ll probably see her there a lot more cus shes definitely not with us.

“Okay so thats one.” I say as if taking notes.

“Then Rachel’s out at some charity event that I never even heard of probably with a guy she’s not telling us about which is so frustrating that of all days you pick friday night at the peak of rush to go be a hoe behind our backs.”

“Did she ever show up to the party?”

“Yeah. And she was fucking drunk.” She said as if surprised but not really because this is Rachel we’re talking about, after all.

“Like wasted orrr “

“Damn I didnt know yall got down like that.”

“Umm when youre stumbling through the door and your first words to all the new girls is hallelujah bitches!

She wasn’t with a guy.

“So tell me more about the party. Like was there”

who nobody knows anyway

is that Cheyenne is just out of it because her friends now telling her she doesnt want to rush anymore and for one its like look,

Wait, who’s hannah?

Hannah’s the leader of her sorority.

Ooooh, Okay, I see why now

-Yeah, I mean if word got around that would literally mean she was going around their backs to cover up that she was lying.

> Right. Yeah I hear what you sayin. She’s trying to make it seem as if it never concerned yall in the first place but if thats the case then she dont need to be acting like she got the right to be trusted.

This goes beyond reputation. Manipulating emotions just cus she has none of her own. Conniving biitch. just to get her way goes beyond reputation.

Aint nobody wanna be around that energy.

> So what you tell her?

I get schizophrenic when it comes accepting new ways of being. The person I made him out to be was the perfect cure for my suffering. All those forgetful nights of boredom I knew what I needed all along, but was to scared to do it myself.

------ Frat house halloween party kidnap scene ----

GD shaman prays to shango for power to go out by mantra. Squad in car repeats the same mantra. The power goes out at 1:00 (or peak of the party).

Tycho throws blue flare through the side of the window

at the Tycho must find Chad and lure him downstairs near the door so the squad can get the keys to the room full cocaine and adderal. After looking everwhere he’s no where to be found. He walks in on a couple having with the girl in missionary with devil ears. “Yo chad that you?” Its

(fuckem x3) Music stops from power so he sneaks in wireless speaker in his robot costume and puts it at one end of the room. Squad member 1 will carry bigger wireless speaker and set it down when he storms in. Tycho also brings a timed strobe light to distract people and keep the illusion of the party still going.

Tycho runs down stairs and towards door with chad chasing him. Squad slaps tape and mask on him and carries like a battering ram although theyve already kicked the door.

*Power turns back on*

“Fuck em, fuck em, nigga get out my section

Don’t want to see him, I don’t want to touch him

*waves zippo lighter in front of face so chad can see him through mask*

“Ima count 3 seconds and your dead on 5 if i dont get this combination” says calmly. thus saiyth the lord thy god”

“Three... No mercy”

“Two.. Shall be given unto those”

*gives code*

“One.”

Love takes many shapes and forms.Tycho never opened up to people, hating himself for being incapable of feeling what others felt. He wanted more so he went spiritual. Which his close friends perceived as going off the deep end."Ayy whatsup bro you tryna smoke?""I have a calc exam tomorrow but I'm down after."Aight good luck on your studying tonight and then kill it tomorrow I know you got this calc is your specialty can't say the same for me but that's why you always tutored me haha."Let me know if you need more help. Figuring their was no bounds and he could be whatever, even silent, and experience irony rather than fate. How bland, he thought, to have a life plan and nothing to look forward to. Running drugs would be a necessary chain reaction. The highest elixer exceeding the bliss provided by the very weight he'd be pushing, itd be getting off on defying his own life, leaving spirit his only option. And so like a blackbird his soul seeks experience only in the clearest degree of visibility. Swerving transgressions of lonliness to levy the burdens of contrived responsibilities at societies every turn until his flight patterns veer from the trodden path to and fro the calling of reality in which he desires to preside over as a God of many statures. Untainted by works, head first into the entity of the adversary, of which he is able to predict the situational consequence in only a glimpsing moment before havoc ensues and the final hour is upon him, his loose wings coated with astral charcoal of depravity. Be caught slipping once and he loses the jump until the enevitable program takes its course - an unstoppable relationship between fate and reckoning that must be fulfilled as day turns to night. Once that happens he reverts back to being like the rest of them. Yet to the world, now desolated beyond repair, hed still be alive, exuding a calm presence that something is not quite right with him existing without remorse. The truth is simple enough, a hint just ever so slight as to never be able to cross the threshold of utterance, thus becoming rendered a convinction of self delusion on the part of the unknowing accuser, who by this time hates himself for even thinking badly of such a good guy to make peace with. The collage curtails past the illusion of what is already known and at last the watchers take notice and thus regeneration is able to take place along all the land, allowing for new energy to take the throne of anticipation. One that has harnessed the potential to become anything the wonder puts his mind too. So what if I'm imaginative? Yolandra: I mean everyone's different in their own way. Like yeah the soroitys have a dress code and all that Starbucks and capris. But I don't know. You just have to get know a person for who they are and not how the outside world perceives them to be. T: So what'd you first think of me? Yolandra: Honestly not much anything. You were one of those people who could be anything. But then I overheard you say taurus's are gold diggers and I hated you cus I'm a taurus. T: Oh sorry I really didn't mean it like that but c'mon now I can tell you have a taste for finer things you bougie little.. Boob. *laugh\ haha "you know what I mean" It doesn't bother you? What? That so much could go wrong so quickly? Look, deep down he's telling you his heart lies with getting over and you let him because that's /just what you like about him, how deep he gets. cus he's a sad and selfish individual who was never about loving anything other than vanity. The best thing to do would be to trust his actions, intentions aren't what's important right now. Really, forget about the soul connection. Loves comes through all types of people as long as you're open to receiving them. Those energies. Don't lose yourself in the illusion. Without ever taking credit for what truly matters which should be you. Then your fashion made sense to me. T: I'm so caught up in myself. I mean, it's impossible to know anything else. I'll never get to stand in your shoes. Its just truth. Yet I'm the bad guy. You're not like the other people I've met. T: Yeah I'm kind of loner if you couldn't tell already. I guess that's a good thing.T: Hey it's okay. I get that a lot... Wait what do you mean you guess? Ive found that who evers saying does a 180 in their normalcy. Knowing your even here right now is a good thing. Knowing that you're with me even when im not. Don't you think? Starting out with confidence and ending strong to be lucky if I'm not hurt. Tell me what you want out of this. Sometimes I feel so lame, then I realize how fun itd be to not care. Through the window screen i see parchments and grass blades, this is an image I've sought to ignore for its blandness thinking I was over recognizing such mundane structures. The sunlight made me drunk with non verbal contemplation. I crave this heat when I'm in low spirits. And a breeze when I'm high. My thoughts are channeled from a lonely place (My thoughts come from a lonely place) I've had no choice but to become accustomed to for my own sanity. To work faster and breach that veil of reckonning. So unreachable and enticing at the same time.T When I'm alone, welcome something more than the past if you ever cared to help me. This isn't the only world out there. And even if it was the material would eventually reach infinity. Then a black hole would open or something. Don't quote me on that, science is the hottest thing going right now. It cant hurt to butt in unofficially. As long as no one calls you on it. The universe molds to your confidence. That's another story. At the end of the day, I have too much pride to be a scientist. The God they're serving calls for a lot of self sacrifice. A self that ignores emergency when called to speak. A self i'm not prepared to lose. "Why are you here again, nothing will change, you're gonna be quiet like last time" any handle on reality I had during the sun rise flees like an ex girlfriend into the night. I'm not prepared to lose. Anxiety is that humid feeling you get when roughnecking the time away. Jaded peripherals, internet browsing, and fading friends initiate a color spectrum so cruelly vivid in its inability to be shared with the CVS cashier who looked at you wrong because you bought 3 4oz bottles of robitussin. A man who couldnt care to see the streets, stop signs, and traffic lights. Man is a slang term we use when caught in the moment. Of which matrix programming loves to grasp onto. --- 10/25/17 wednesday So here I am enjoying a piece of lackluster nothing for the sake of something I've agreed to experience in a past life I can't even remember but somehow must make amends to as if its an actual concrete thing I can touch and make sense out of without caring to ponder how life puts us in these type situations like getting your hair done a new way and meeting a friend of a friend superficially without ever following up like aight word up bro I feel you by the way hows life and what's the special fact I should become one with in this moment while not thinking too much in to things or else id be alone as if we're not alive under the stars for any other reason than to be happy but still to me that becomes too much like a flash in time rather than something meaningful because then sex would have to be our purpose for being here but you and I both know it's more complicated than that so we look into it via memories and realize the journey was brighter than the reward as in I don't remember the actual sex part but rather the day as a whole with stained glass sprinkled in on a film reel to push the past into something real and unexplainably alluring to the self of which we projected this light onto in order to perhaps know in advance maybe how to repeat this metaphysical phenomenon for a second time because we're not quite there yet although at this rate if seems that to finally reach a state of thereness would mean we wouldn't be able to be here right now having this conversation like a building block struck from below or a house of cards we have to keep faith that every moment plays its part because we had an emotion for it and therefore couldn't be rendered to nothing in a wreckless attempt force it all together rather let each tile compliment it's neighbor and bypass the need for destruction by allowing enough caring energy to flow through that filter mechanism within you that deems lifes moments as worth remembering or forgetting and pretend you never heard about forgetting and avoid it like the plague because everything that ever was is depending on you to go forth into righteous so that gods original intention for letting go of unwanted baggage be synthesized within your vessel of upgrades intelligence so that the journey can still be appreciated only this time without th deceptive veil of the end. to question the little things that somehow don't mean much but at the same time appear to us daily as conduits for good fortune and thats what we must uphold ___ 11/2/17 thursday

I you and me playcated on a surface of stones that match our longing to search in the wrong places. Convenient are we done such a conceivable time that is time which is also time because what more can be said other than us winding down a fire escape to an inexplicable hatch sitting like paper mache on our transformative spiritual natures. Gone already but not forgotten just make sure to take the negative side of every situation involving 1 or more parties so as to make sure the rythym is in order because you can't go wrong with challenging the status quo of an area you're not suppose to be in even if that seems too easy and superficial it's the right choice because even the idea of rebellion as a bad thing must be able to project into a physical thing prompt for examination so secrets may be revealed. Wouldn't you know i stopped believing in faith due to its redundancy of chasing metaphysical strings too far out for us to put into words and isn't that the source of all our angst. Depraved of propositional phrases and elemental tables it's all so clear to me now. Casandra had a bag and Mikey had his sneakers in the forefront like a low hanging fruit but of course they had personalities that weren't so easy to see unless the hard work of interfacing came into the equation. Lets judge people based on judging for the sake of basing ourselves onto something not within our realm of reality. Perception is a hard question i think maybe inanimate objects could tell us a thing or two. Low pressure sodium lamps.Documentorial lecture hall amps failing to reach the end of the pyramid turned 90 degrees away from its focal point. May disease not reach our unexplainable selves if ever they may inhabit our temporary vessels like a friend who has no friends but you and wants desperately to get along with others but is attached to your ways. Are we in hell? What can our astral travels tell us about signaling locations with Etheric marks of time dialation. Things are what they are by defintion or they wouldn t be things however stepping the observer up a notch sets in motion cancer to grow from the singular notion that we ourselves separate on a cost of lightening our load. I am partly responsible for this mess we have made. Pulling my hair out in thin strands so as to not make a difference. Some people just don't understand what it means to be so far gone yet in a place of enchantment that lets us know we're not alone as Michael Jackson plays on the ham radio and Wikipedia says the song was written by r kelly. I'm a solitary young man, joined at the seams complacency and red-ridden vanishing points to a line of sight I'd rather not identify with if I had a choice. I'm seriously considering becoming rich and famous despite others already forcing me to. I guess eventually my spirit will give in as my soul looks from a distance and says what a fool I am then goes about his day. You can't be like the rest of them no matter how hard you try. Thinking on the sensualities you avoided after this rap shit led you no where. The palace at the height of creation where Jesus stopped and stared to collect his thoughts before he kept going when his alarm rang as his slave bending consistency tracked the new melinnia into a moldy piece of sandstone cheese the better of which tasted nutty with fruity notes and 80% abv shards of liquid glass on the throat thatd make even an immortal weep a shy tear or two. The pigs down in Mississippi feel things we can't understand in their slaughterhouse decrepit and forwarned in a musk ridden air flow that's non existent to hypocritical angels who were supposed to stop atrocity but opted to sit on their ads and play virtua tennis all day. Oink says the pig. Hee haw says the donkey. Give me life says the God and there on the 30th night fags came to tell the story on their faces. The bag lady told them to shut up and stop whining but they wouldn't listen though they lost their ability to speak. Goodness gracious me oh my great balls of fire. Great balls of ball you are the Lord of my lonely century in this dimension I took awareness to when I allowed you into my heart space.And then I left asking my self: Who is this I?

755559888a

Let’s stand for a while and think about the dastardly ways we have gone under the waters and flew away from temptation. Have us saying isnt it so pretty to be in something and have that to fall back on due to the struggles of forgetting the place we come from which didnt always have it out for us this bad in refusing us of inconjunctions we can at least point to and blame our problems on saying “See! There, I told you so. That’s why we cant find our beginning!” And we’ll keep toilling the fields as halflings saving up for a chance to leave the very universe we serve. “So thats more like it. Finally something I can get my flows on to” Shelly the alien said. “The Stars dont have to like you just because you see them. They have their place and so do we” Gerald said. “Oh but they do.” “How do you know?” “Well for one they always shine bright at the most oppurtune times, like when I’m feeling down about the part of myself that conveinently seems to escape me just when I need it most. If that be so then put me on to something else and that’ll do just fine.” “Perhaps you're not as big as you thought ” Gerald held up his hand to salvage what was left of the dissolving psychic barrier between them. An invisible giant with an ocd issue. For now he could only listen. “No im not here to choose and thats exactly why Im not afraid to go where you can’t. Having the courage to admit your wrongs requires as much energy as universal rotation itself - a force which exists beyond our pleaidien awareness. ” “ But Shel- Okay whatever” Gerald paused and rolled the horizon through his scaly fingertips. “Keep calling on the unknown and you might get lost because it’s been there forever and sometimes Look, Shelly, no offense, you know I love you, but your awareness has no filter on what representation it can cling onto like danger isnt a reality to you. Me and Dazel always had to look out for you and thats just in this world what makes you think you can take on things you cant even see? “But do you believe in me? Anyone can say they love me. I’ve been hearing that my whole life. So much that it holds the same meaning as “um” does in conversation. Is that really the final conclusion we have at the end of the day? That you love me? Besides, I dont think you really meant that.”

“Here goes Miss Type-1 personality again. Always needing to label circles into squares, stars into gods, this as that, out of an inability to cope with insecurity. Leaving the rest of us as unwilling participants.”

“HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT’S WRONG IN NATURE?” Shelly bawled.

The beach of Temofose was out of walking distance from the orange cottage they grew up in with there Mom. When they were young it was somewhere theyd go when they had nothing else to do. Euweu Sister Beach was the brighter of the two, but now too populated for their liking. Temofose is less frequented by other families and polluted by cargo ships and a lack of open views but as they stood there a semblence of twilight through the holographic cages offered closure to the purpose of them arguing in the elements about a timeline Shelly was going to step into And no matter what argument he could put forth, Gerald thought of it fruitless unless he spoke from his heart, a heart of which Shelly was currently taking the place of, so that he could not use it against her. “Shelly, I just hope you can understand how I dont want to let you go.” “I’m sorry you feel that way. But it’s my choice. Have a good njght Gerald. I love you” She said as she went into darkness.

Summer Break 2018

As a street light exploring strip malls, I am a linoleum tile on top of a trapezoid emitting frames of rave scenes. Heres where I find myself walking through last nights dream of the gang member selling duck pussy then getting assaulted by a pizza guy and a cop. Alone after those nights. Seems love was never meant to be expressed but felt. I look inside to see if I’m about to die, seeing diamonds mixed with sky. Materializing in the backdrop of my memories. Now I know why.

Now I know.

Then a wren on the fence manifests when it needs to. The perspective pyramid is that I pleaded for a higher calling. There’s nobody bohemian as me. One day I’ll take this civic off the road and escape into my sacred grove. If only I wasnt such a bitch.

I carry my single briefcase through the airport parking lot. I’m hot and out of breath. Everyone watching me. I can read their thoughts but not my own. They say look at the guy who isnt me but is still conscious enough to move his vessel.

The a/c runs down to the end of the terminal, but my spirit is squared by the stores selling vain material. The pyramid of perspective is an accordian overlayed on my mind’s eye televises scenes too chaotic to put into words. Walking through customs is an event to be remembered, I tell myself. Anyone who catches my glimpse pauses for a split second, calibrating my own opinion of the why in life. A definition of nuance that was never meant to be expressed but felt. To sense what I’ve been wanting, free and alone, after all those wasted days. I board the flight to say finally I am my own religion. If I was flying over africa I’d see bon fires, but over Georgia I only see street lights. Thinking how absurd that they will speak of me as crazy. Others will listen. A vibration through these amber aisles to look no further than my destiny. Because everyone has their destination is the way it goes. I refuse. I’m tired of being a number. Atlanta had its place. Now I’m homeless in Tokyo. This is the not-so perfect end to the chapter planned out for me by the higher power. Not-so bad neither.

Save me. I’m on the other side now.

#chapter 1 #short-story #novella #atl streetz #cancer moon #tryna

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haengbokjae-blog · 5 years

Text

fae/fairy jae au

genre: fluff!!!

word count: 2501

A/N: fae is really the same thing as a fairy, its just the common male term for fairy!!!

lets pretend this Doesnt Suck ok? ok ty (and if im completely honest,, the part of the fairytale is a True Story from my childhood,, my dad always told me ab it so i thought it was kinda sweet ok anywayshifg)

this is heavily inspired by @/chenle ‘s demon!jae au, you really should check it. its so beyond precious!!

(this gif is literally so perfect for this .. just wait uwu)

so yknow youre just a Soft Soul

you like to take time away from all the stress of your busy life

after coming home from your classes and taking care of homework or tidying up or making dinner

bc yknow a gal’s gotta eat

sometimes u just like to go outside in your garden

(its french style,, really lovely tbh)

and relax.. Listen to music, play music

bask in the summer sun and feel the breeze in your hair

just girly things yk

imsosorry

anywa y s .. ,,,. .

you would also bring your violin out every once and a while if the neighbors weren’t home, or even if they were, the complaints were sparing because

Lets face it

youve been playing since you were seven years old.. You’ve just turned twenty now..

you’re good

uhh yeah. Hehe xd ok so

since you were a child, your dad always liked to indulge you in these beautiful fantasies, letting your pure mind take you away to something better than reality

you felt like magic was real for so long..

he told you, that everytime you laugh and smile, a fairy was born.

they were all around you, and if you listen closely, you would hear them giggle along with you :’)

of course now, you don’t believe it,, wh- pssh thats nonsense

tbh your heart just wished these things were real, that the make believe could become reality just for a day

things would be so simple, so beautiful, you could be a princess like your dad always said you were, and you could live a pretty life with the birds and fairies and and and

after a particularly stressful day, you returned from class to the house you owned by yourself near campus (for convenience yk) and just decided it was a day that you needed to take time for yourself

so , like a sensible human being, you put on the prettiest white sundress you had, you let your hair that was once tied up fall gently against your back, you poured yourself a glass of champagne (with basically more fruit juice than champagne bc bitter alcohol isnt cute)

and brought out your violin along with a little bowl of fruit and sighed before letting it all go once your bow hit the strings

you decided to play one of your favorite pieces, Introduction and Rondo capriccioso in A Minor, Op. 28

you only got a minute in before your neck started to hurt, you dropped your right arm and put your violin in your lap before sighing, giggling a bit, and taking a quick sip of your little champagne concoction

because damn it just felt nice to let go and play after not having been able to in such a long time

but before you could rest your violin under your chin again, you heard

a Boy

and …. is that a giggle?

s-shit thats precious..

WAIT

you look around, knowing you dont have anyone living near you thats near your age

its literally all old folk okay-

and right near the peonies, is this little mist

b-but your sprinklers arent on..

the mist starts to rise and suddenly, theres glitter in the mist

i-its pink… uwu ?

and once the mist clears, out steps a boy

a really cute boy

a very tall boy

“why’d you stop? it sounds so beautiful…”

your brain : w-wUAaAAAAaAA

you:

he’s… a fairy????

the tall boy blinks once before revealing the brightest, most beautiful smile

he walks over and sits himself down next to you in the plush grass, a pair of iridescent wings slowly moving and fluttering like a butterfly’s, and pops a blueberry from your bowl of fruit into his mouth

you’re literally sitting there…. Dumbfounded

did a fairy literally just pop up because you were laughing

dAD WAS RIGHT

“a-are you a… f-fairy?”

his smile (and his little wings) legitimately dropped so fast

“i’m not a fairy im a fae.”

“there IS a difference okAY??”

“so.. y/n, right?”

“hOW DO YOU-”

“i come around sometimes”

“i read your schoolwork, your diary”

oh … oka- hEY WHA

after getting a better look at him u just kinda realize

wait why is he … beautiful

literally his skin is shimmering and his ears do the pointy thingy

“so.. why dont you play some more, sweets? you’re really good! after all, i came all this way to hear it..”

is he? …. flirti- no. no he’s not.. chill out y/n just bc he’s cute doesnt mean he thinks you are too

here you are . sitting, confused, theres a FAIRY fae in front of you

but … here goes nothing i guess?

you start to play again, and immediately he sighs dreamily and you can feel him staring at you with those sparkly eyes

all of a sudden, he reaches out and puts something in your hair, so your bow screeches on the string and you reach to touch whatever it is because the cheeky fae might have-

“nO stop!! its just a rose”

you look around

owo

“wai- i dont have roses planted in my garden right now...”

“well thats okay” he muses, then blows a few rose petals from his palm in your face

“i can plant some in your garden right now if you’d like! it needs a little freshening up…”

muttering while looking around “oh.. more freshening up than i anticipated” thinking u couldnt hear

u… u could

“hHEY ITS THE BEST I CAN DO IM A STRUGLGIN COLLEGE STUDTENT”

he just sticks out his pink tongue at you, and you notice how plump his lips are

they seriously look like rose petals.. this fairy fae

fairies and fae alike are described to be mischievous

what more can he get up to??

dont worry. a lot.

“well mr. fae, what will you do to my garden? my mother and grandmother helped me out with it, i dont want to go overboard and ruin it, they worked hard an-”

“if you please, my name is jae. and don’t worry. i know what i’m doing! you humans are too careful. have some fun!”

and as soon as he would even scan his eyes over the vines creeping up the side of your house, or the bushes of blackberries or the small rows of flowers, they all flourished, growing in ample numbers, adding sprouts of fruits and vegetables and spreading throughout the span of grass of your backyard.

your jaw was literally

...hanging open

“oh my… i-” you breathed. “j-jae..”

“you’re welcome!” he laughed, beaming down at you

the sun was literally shining brighter because he was there

the rest of the afternoon he stayed and watched you play violin, asking about different songs, who wrote them, when they were written, what you think the mood is

and slowly the sun faded and the sky grew pink

and everything was bathed in a warm light, jae’s eyes were still shining and luminous

“its been such a nice time, but i really should be going, i have pets to feed and a hut to clean”

ngl you were disappointed. you knew you’d miss him even if you only just met

but like… being needy? whos she?

“you’ll see me again, dont worry!” he smirked

“h-how did you-”

“i didn’t, but good to know you enjoy me so much!” he shook his head a little, laughing

he grabbed your flute of champagne and sipped until there was only a small bit left

he literally dared to turn the tall glace around so that the place where his lips had been

were now touching your lips

your face literally got as red as the tomatoes jae planted in the corner

you grabbed the flute of champagne, turned it, and sipped

(angrily??) can u sip angrily? (doesnt matter, u did it)

jae laughed once more and just sighed “you really are something, y/n”

“i-iTS A GOOD THING DONT WORYR”

for once today, he was the one flustered and scrambling to save himself.. funny…..

“w-well look. i have a way you can call for me.”

and out of the palm of his and, he revealed a little bell.

you held out your hand, and when he placed it in your palm, you realized just how much bigger he was than you

like damn for a fae you’re a Long Boi

you tried to ring it, but it was silent

????

“it’s too high for humans to hear, so you can be discreet with it”

“well how do i know that it’s working?”

he grinned and grabbed your shoulders, then moved your hair away from your right ear, then your left, kissing each.

your face is darker than the tomatoes he grew for you now ok a y

“w-whAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?”

“ring the bell now”

you shook it lightly, and you could hear the tiniest little tinkling noise

“so you can hear this anywhere?”

“that’s right!”

“you had to kiss me for that?”

“well no, you could it hear as soon as i touched your ears. i only kissed them to get a reaction out of you”

“can the bell send you away too, or?” you gave him A Look

“alright, alright, i’ll be on my way then” he raised his hands in defeat.

you laughed though, he was really something..

“just ring when you need me, y/n” he called, and with a wink, the mist reappeared, replacing the lanky body with wings

you sighed and grabbed your violin, the bowl and the empty flute, and walked inside

that night, you lay in bed, studying the little bell. it was golden with a delicate J engraved into it

your eyes were drooping while you looked over the bell, and slowly you drifted off to sleep

during the night, the bell had fallen onto the floor, and because it was so small, you didn’t hear it ring, but jae sure did

so around like 5am, jae poofed into your room

mist, glitter and all

seeing you were asleep, he was confused at first, but picked up the bell from the floor and put it on your bedside table before walking out of your room into your kitchen

around 7am, you awoke to the smell of tea being brewed

it smelled so nice and warm,, the thought really could put you right back to sle-

what the f- w-why is tea on its 7:12 in the morning

you threw your legs off of the bed, your feet finding your slippers

and you grabbed the bell, clutching it to your chest

because.. i dunno what if something bad happens?

oh christ what are you thinking what is a fAIRY BOY GOING TO DO TO PROTECT YOU?

you round the corner to see..

“jae?” your groggy morning voice makes him turn and his wings twitch and flutter and his cheeks turn a rosy pink (he would never admit to that happening tho, try it lmao)

“good morning, flower” he said gently while flicking his finger and pulling out a chair at your dining table, cueing you to be seated

“you dropped your bell really early this morning, so i just decided to not make my trip here for nothing…” he spit out

was he being .. bashful??

“you put tea on?”

“and i made muffins, i hope you dont mind i used your kitchen”

thats actually…. really sweet

no one but your mom has ever made you breakfast

you nodded wordlessly and grabbed a cup of tea from his hand

“i don’t have a teaset like thi-”

“i brought my own” he said quietly

why is he so shy all of the sudden i-

he always teases you so whats changed now huh

he brings over two plates with muffins on them, meaning you two were going to eat together

you decided to take the first bite and ….

they were so goo d like what

and ig he noticed you blushing because all of the sudden he was so proud

“glad you like them”

“t-they’re alright” you said stubbornly

he grinned and shook his head, taking a bite

you both finished breakfast together, talking a bit along the way, him teasing you more about not wanting to admit that he’s actually a damn good cook

and finally you realized your class would be starting soon… fuc

“what time is- oh GOd i have class in thirty- jae, i’m sorry but i need to go- shit we need to cLEAN okay quick i’ll take th-”

“you get ready, i’ll tidy up” he said immediately

“but- don’t be silly! Cmon i can take-”

“y/n, im not necessarily assertive for much, but i will be now. go. i can take care of this”

this mans… is he really ?

you were stopped in your tracks but he raised an eyebrow at you

and you turned away sO FAST to hide a blush bc

wow this fae is … g orge o u s ok

and since you were turned around

(and not to mention class was quickly approaching and you couldnt afford to waste more time) you decided at last to just leave jae to it

you could just feel him smirking in such a satisfied way hghfh

you marched on to your room and picked out a casual outfit and just threw it on, then proceeded to brush your teeth and braid your hair rather messily

you emerged again and the kitchen was … spotless??

(better than it had been, to your embarrassment)

“w-hoW DO YOU”

“y/n, class?”

“oh dEAR YOU’RE RIGHT”

you quickly ran to the door with jae at your heels and turned to say goodbye.

“until next time...i guess?”

only “ig” because who knows when he’ll just pop up, does the bell even matter to him?

protip: it doesn’t

PRO protip: he’s gonna show up when he wants bc lets face it he wants to be around you as much as he can but he’d never admit that

unless u did first

“yes, you can count on seeing me soon”

why is he being mysterious .. explain

you cocked your head bc . tf jae

but he only grinned at you and leaned against the doorway

“i’ll lock your doors when i leave, you go on y/n”

“well, goodbye then jae”

(rather upset bc .. in all honesty, being away from him already felt wrong)

you turned around before making your way down the path leading to your doorstep

“thank you again for breakfast”

(you made an effort to smile [much to your own chagrin, bc part of you is so tsundere but you .. wanna make his heart flutter like he makes yours bc payback… yea])

he shook his head while letting out a soft chuckle

“until later, little flower”

and with that last flirty phrase, he winked and disappeared with his usual mist

as you walked down the sidewalk to campus, you took his bell from your pocket and studied it more, with a smile lingering on your face.

#day6 jae #day6 imagines #kpop imagines #kpop blurb #kpop au #day6 au #park jaehyung #park jaehyung imagine #day6 jae imagine #day6 fluff #kpop fluff #soft kpop imagines #i literally got inspired to write this bc i saw a picture of him laughing on twitter and a bitch really just #fell: In Love #day6 scenario #kpop scenario

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serenavonromvesen · 5 years

Text

September 21st, 2019.

I really don’t know where else to vent but on tumblr. I have always used tumblr as an outlet for venting and I’m reaching a point where I really just need to write out how I’m feeling, without cramping my hand writing with pen and paper.

I feel really lonely as far as friends go. I have an AMAZING group of friends, but so many of them live far away. I have my tribe and I feel I will always have that, but its never the same as having lady friends, I literally have like three or four ladyfriends that I can actually hang out with in person, and only one of them is someone I didnt meet through my boyfriend first. its not that I have anything I want to share behind him, its that I always feel like on some level they’re always more his friend than mine- and at that, I didn’t choose most of them to be in my life, they were given to me. don’t get me wrong, I’m SO grateful for anyone I do have currently in my life. I just don’t have any friends who truly understand me, and especially not that are into the things that I am. I would love so much to be able to be friends with another tattoo model in my area, and ACTUALLY genuinely have a real friendship. I emphasize ‘genuinely’ because this industry is FULL of backstabbing bitches that would throw you in front of a bus to get one more step ahead of you. I just want a girl I can hang out with all the time SO bad. and the one person here who is awesome, works like ALLLLL the time. it sucks pretty bad when you only have one true friend and they end up getting way too busy for you. she’s supposed to move away anyways she said, so I guess I better get used to it now anyways. I’m just so sad of having no girls to actually hang out with. Skyping with my best friend is great, but it just isnt the same- and a lot of time I do get put aside compared to actually going to hang out with people anyways. which i dont have here.

now, I’m SUPER introverted, nervous, shy, socially awkward AND anxious, and sometimes I have a hard time making normal conversation. in fact, I am always secretly bothered by the fact that I’m PRETTY SURE i have some form of Autism, but I would never actually say that I am being diagnosed, but I am terrified to find out. I once emailed a place to ask some questions and set an appointment, but I never heard back.. that was i think last year. Anyways, I don’t want a ton of friends or anything. I dont want to hang out every day- it’s exhausting. but I still want the option to be able to call someone up in those rare days where I do feel like going outside or seeing people, to actually have fun. I used to have that in New Jersey, my group of girls that I hang with an we all really support each other. I miss them so bad. I am SO homesick for like, the last two years now. I try not to think about it if I can help it, but I miss my friends, I miss my mom.. I hate that I’m missing my baby cousins grow up, I hate that I’ve FINALLY made a connection with some of my cousins and now I’ll rarely ever see them, I hate that I can’t do body suspensions more often, I hate that I don’t get to see my brother Sean when he visits... but most of all I do HATE New Jersey and could never live there. I just wish so bad it hadn’t been like 4-5 years since I’ve seen my friends and family. it hurts. I’m so homesick for just the strong friendships I have.

I just...know its possible. I know its possible to have the small group of friends I want. I just wish girls weren’t so...mean and competitive. I just feel so lonely. I feel like I don’t have anyone to hang out with thats a female. why is everyone so far away? I’m home alone all day every day. you’d think a puppy wouldve made me feel less alone, but really I’m a thousand times more stressed than ever. I wanted to move for a fresh start, to breathe, so enjoy peace...and as soon as I got here everyones over all the time and it just reminds me how I dont have friends of my own, and how my friends dont come to visit me, and how I never get a second to myself. I finally got the chance and heres this puppy. i love him with my life but I AM SO STRESSED!!! I’m with him 10-14 hours a day by myself and then half of the time I’m still the one dealing with him at the crack of dawn, too. I never get time alone unless he sleeps and then I have to walk on eggshells to not wake him up- AND I DIDN’T EVEN FUCKING WANT THIS!!! when I was forced to give up my other pupper, Hades, I said I never wanted a puppy again because IT IS TOO MUCH FOR ME. it puts me on edge and greatly disrupts my bipolar. i literally CANT handle it. I said I would get a dog no younger than 2 years old. I wanted a border coli so bad, maybe even a doberman because I still miss my old dog Max SO MUCH! I like bigger dogs and never really was a big fan of little dogs. I like a dog I can give a whole ass hug to, and feel protected by when I walk alone down a street with him. but no, Michael had to choose, he wanted a puppy, he wanted a small-type pure bred dog which means it’ll be twice as expensive twice as often with vet visits. but he wanted it. he insisted. and now, here we are, just like scooping the litter boxes for all 4 cats, its pretty much almost entirely left on me to do. for so so long I told myself “well he works and I dont really work, I’m home all day and hes not here much to have the time for it.” but you know what I realized? That when I worked full time at Starbucks, or when I worked two jobs at both the Smoke Shoppe AND Spencers, that I still put in the same amount of work as all of this- I was still expected to do all of this. at that, I am SO SICK AND TIRED of him asking me EVERY FUCKING DAY “will you mop today? will you do the laundry? will you do that dogs medicine? will you change the cat boxes?” periodically throughout every morning. like oh, I didn’t realize that I was a fucking 4 year old that needs direction on needing to do basic fucking cleaning tasks!!!!! the only reason I dont get to half that stuff most of the time is that I’m annoyed as fuck at being told what to do / treated that way, and that by the time he leaves for work theres been a whole fucking list of shit lined up that I now feel EXPECTED to do before hes home from work. it literally aggravates me SO MUCH just typing about it because im so fucking pissed off that he does this EVERYMOTHERFUCKINGDAY. it makes me feel angry and completely overwhelmed and then I just spend my entire day dreading it then rushing to do it right before he gets home from work. I just fucking hate it. like I’m fucking 25 years old, I know what the fuck to do to keep the fucking house clean, thanks.

at that, between the no friends, the fucking belittlement of being given a verbal list of chores every day, and the stress from puppy I absolutely did NOT ask for, I am feeling so depressed. I wanted a new house so I could ENJOY it, but instead any moment in my backyard is spent trying to get the puppy to stop eating random crap the people before us left- like glass, I cant enjoy how the inside looks because theres puppy training pads all over the floor which the floor is always dirty because of being in and out of the house with the puppy, or just even a moment of peace at all. like literally this defeated the whole entire purpose of wanting to move. its still a gazillion times better than the trailer, I still totally love this house, but because of my stress and loneliness level, I feel nearly just as depressed as before.

what doesnt help is lately Michael has been SO negative abut things. it’s like when I finally am enjoying myself, he comes through like a wrecking ball being negative, depressing, unsupportive, argumentative, and just plain giving off vibes that make me feel so down. He still makes me feel super happy like 98% of the time, but it is such a downer when hes being super negative about EVERYTHING. or when he gets my hopes up about things and then goes back on his word. he LOVES to tell me yes to shut me up then saying no when it becomes real, a mega part of why I haven’t gotten to visit my family in 4 years. and then he makes me feel SO bad about it. he has no problem bragging to everyone about a vacation, but when its just us suddenly its “I have to do this on my own” and “it’s expensive” like really? thanks for bragging about it for two months, waiting until we have it a month away to tell me its 100% on me to plan it, then complain about everything I tried to plan, WHILE making me feel like a complete and utter loser that I’m a failure at everything I try to do so now I don’t make any money. I literally fucking hate myself again. that’s where I’m at. I’m starting to find my body, my hair, my face- all of it repulsive. I hate how I look. I hate my hair and how my dreads are all lose, but I have to ask him for money to be able to fix my hair. he always tells me just ask and it isnt a problem but then when I do want to do things he makes me wait ages and puts it off or flat out complains- or if it all goes smoothly he throws it in my face the first fight we have. I just feel like such a fucking loser, that’s getting uglier by the day. and when I finally worked up the courage to go to the gym, its like pulling teeth to get him to go- I’ve been asking for a year and we STILL haven’t gone. I want to be a breakdancer SO BAD and I’ll never get to do that if I can’t go to the gym to work out. he tells me to just go but he doesnt understand that being a woman alone in public these days you’re at extreme risk of being raped and 10/10 multiple dudes will trying saying gross things and hitting on you/catcalling. I wish so so so so so bad I could go out for a day and have not a soul talk to me or look at me. what a dream that would be. I just cant go alone. its literally dangerous. scary.

I just feel so STUCK. I want to make money so I can contribute to the house and pay for what I need MYSELF. I never ever liked being someone who fully depends on someone like that. hell, a decade ago I refused to let anyone even get me a simple drink from a convenience store. it still feels uncomfortable to have to be like this. I want to be able to take care of myself. to know that if it was just me that I wouldnt just...be out on the streets. now I’m getting married and its a great relief that thats a less legitimate fear, but I still want to be able to take care of myself so that I could help my babe. he works SO hard for us and spends SO much money taking care of us, I just want to be able to pay my part of that and make HIS life easier, so that we BOTH can do more things that we like instead of just paying bills till the next check. I feel so useless and worthless. but everything I try to do I just fail at, or I’m too depressed and just lose the passion for it. or the will to do nearly anything. I really thought moving was going to change everything for me but... I feel nearly just as depressed. the environment change has definitely helped but, it didn’t suddenly cure my depression like I hoped for..

I just feel so alone, in like, literally everything I try to do. I feel like I don’t fit in anywhere. when I do think I fit in, it just turns out to be a delayed rejection. I swear I get screwed over and stabbed in the back more often than anyone I’ve ever met in my life. I’m easily forgotten and definitely easy to fuck over. I just wish people werent so hateful and selfish... all I want is to have female friends I can actually hang out with, have some help with my puppy, to talk to my fiance without him thinking I’m having an argument, to workout so I can dance, and to do something I love that makes me happy that I can make money with. I feel like I failed as a model too. I make all these plans and then.. I can never accomplish them. I often think, is it worth it really? to compete with all these girls when I dont care about competition? to be screwed over because I’m an opponent to everyone I wish I was friends with? to try and build working-relationships with photographers who seem to forget about me before I even get my pictures back? to not be paid for modeling when I spent tons of money on clothes for shoots? to not have my name out there after a year and a half? to not even be able to find a photographer that wants to shoot for publication? or be told I’m not inked enough to shoot again (the day after I got tattooed?)? I just feel like a failure. I spent over a thousand dollars on clothes for shoots, plus all traveling expenses, to have only ever profited $50 one time and then never get my edited photos back. I just feel like I’m not worth anything, that I can’t contribute or make money without making myself excessively unhappy working jobs I hate- only to be belittled there too.

I don’t even care about social media anymore. I don’t care to check instagram or post on it. why? so I can spend two hours doing makeup so I could post a selfie to write another caption telling everyone that “one day” I’ll do more? what’s the point? If only I had someone I could invite over to talk to about it :( I just feel so...unexcited by everything. like Stan in the episode about shit. I’m bored, I feel gross, I feel lonely, I’m overwhelmingly stressed, I’m growing to hate myself again, and I feel like I don’t have the positive influence I need to get better. I WANT to get better, I just need help and I don’t have anyone I feel I could reach out to that could actually help me. I just really need a friend...

#lonely #need friends #personal #feeling small #journal entry

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comicteaparty · 5 years

Text

November 1st, 2018 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on November 1st, 2018, from 5PM - 7PM PDT. The chat focused on Littlelight Asylum by Julian Dominguez (Writer), Esther Pimentel (Artist), and Toben Racicot (Letterer).

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB START!

Good evening, everyone~! This week’s Thursday Book Club is officially beginning! Today we are discussing Littlelight Asylum by Julian Dominguez (Writer), Esther Pimentel (Artist), and Toben Racicot (Letterer)~! (http://littlelightasylum.spiderforest.com/)

Remember that Thursday discussions are completely freeform! However, every 30 minutes I will drop in OPTIONAL discussion questions in case you’d like a bit of a prompt. If you miss out on one of these prompts, you can find them pinned for the chat’s duration. Additionally, remember that while constructive criticism is allowed, our focus is fun and respectfully appreciating the comic. All that said, let’s begin!

QUESTION 1. What is your favorite scene in the comic so far and why?

i think for me, my favorite scene is hands down when cthulhu shows up and lays the smack down. this might be biased from really liking to see cthulhu get around. but i also just kept being like "this squid kid reminds me of cthulhu" and then my assumptions were vindicated

keii4ii

Yup XD

I also liked seeing Eve get excited for the Crimson Archer

mathtans

That was pretty cool. I also liked just earlier when Eternal Flame was still the dork.(edited)

Yup, gotta imagine Eve squee face.

RebelVampire

yeah i liked the timing for it too. cause eve stonewalled for so long but then gotta have that little quieter squee when the actual hero showed up.

although i also liked when lilith was all squee but then immediately turned on the tsundere "its not like i like this at all" XD

mathtans

I like her personality. Vaguely Spock-like. She's sensible.

Eve, that is.

Also, MASSIVE bonus points for "drum roll". That was too good.

keii4ii

On a more subtle note though, I also liked that Eve hid the video games, AND that her gaming stash had both of the other characters' favorite games. Sometimes you wonder why/how some characters get along, and it's subtle details like that that grounds the relationship for me, by showing that they have more in common than it may seem.

mathtans

keii: That's an excellent point. She's a good friend.

Though how could you not get along with Hollow.

RebelVampire

i liked that moment too because i think it demonstrates both eve's intelligence and that for monster kids, taking away their stuff is really not that easy. so it was a moment that kind of did some subtle and excellent world building as well.

mathtans

I think Eve is the only one who can portal though.

keii4ii

Yeah

the person who took the stuff wasn't expecting it at all

mathtans

(And there's just this dude living in there, that was funny...)

RebelVampire

true but i dont doubt the others could find a way to hide their games. like lilith seems like shes 100% use magic....that would ultimately mess up in some fashion. hollow might be screwed unless he decides to bury his games in the backyard.

granted i wouldve thought headmistress light wouldve realized eve kind of has some op powers for someone her age

mathtans

Fair. I do think Light is happy so long as there's no destruction of property going on.

keii4ii

Though if the average monster kid is good at sneaking stuff around, I would think others would be more aware/skeptical

mathtans

I'm still trying to figure out my feelings about Lilith. She seems pretty self-absorbed.

keii4ii

She kinda seems like the meanie who hangs out with the good kids because she does get lonely, and no one else will tolerate her

RebelVampire

tbf tho their tolerance isnt the highest. since the first scenario they basically said "nope lilith has to clean up her own mess" until it wasnt possible for them to leave it alone

im interested in what shaped lilith's personality to be as it is

keii4ii

I found it interesting that she seemed to genuinely like Sona as a character, as opposed to just "I like her because her game is fun." Sona seemed like she had a decent personality (or maybe that's just my assumption based on "typical video game main characters" )

RebelVampire

nah sona had a nice personality cause she was all positive in the brief moment we see her. very opposite of lilith. so it makes me wonder if lilith has had a bit of a troubled childhood. like i mean dont get me wrong, shes mean. but given shes also a kid you always have to wonder how genuine it is and how much of it is putting on airs and acting in a way she thinks is expected of her.

cause i know her profile even mentions shes half demon or something. so she could be thinking "no im a demon gotta do the evil"

Superjustinbros

Hey there, just popping in to say hello since I'm a bit occupied with something else atm

if I can make it later I'll jump into the chat proper

(I do want to say briefly that this story has some appealing character designs)

keii4ii

It could be something like, she doesn't get along with the Less Evil of her parents (could be the demon, could be the other one), so she's latching onto evil being desirable. But that's a total stab in the dark at this point in time

RebelVampire

true. could be opposite in that the witch parent is more evil. or they could both be evil

QUESTION 2. The cast of the comic is colorful to say the least. Did any of the characters in particular strike you as interesting? If so, who and why? Why do you think Lilith is at the orphanage when she implies she has parents? Who are her parents and where are they? What about Eve and Hollow? Do you think they’re actually orphans or are there mitigating circumstances to why they’re at the orphanage? What do you think Eve’s implied connection to Cthulhu is? What about Hollow? Any theories that turn what we believe about Hollow on their head? Do you think the three main children will manage to stay friends despite their differences, or will one of them cause a rift?

keii4ii

I do think an "the friends have a fight, but realize it was silly and reunite to defeat a foe that they could not have defeated individually" episode is likely, though it's still early on and can't really say what might cause such a scenario

RebelVampire

i could argue thats sort of their whole relationship tho. the whole friends fight but reunite

cause even the first issue basically kind of does this

keii4ii

Yeah

But I mean something more... extreme

The first one seemed like a daily occurrence kinda thing

But like, something that makes them think, "great, I'll never talk to the other two again"

RebelVampire

actually what i hope happens is that lilith is the great ill never talk to the other two again

has a solo adventure but comes back

and eve and hollow are were like "what do you mean our fight and friendship breakup? we thought you were just being you"

keii4ii

If that happens, I would like to see it contribute to Lilith's character growth long term, even if very subtle

mathtans

Sorry, had to deal with little one here. Just to finish my earlier thought...

Lilith seems to have this need to prove herself to someone, so there's that, but she's not great at considering the consequences. Like even being forced to clean up the kitchen. It's an interesting counterpoint to Eve... and I guess since my personality's more like Eve, I have little issues.

I think Lilith was probably left at the orphanage by a relative who just couldn't deal any more... her parents were maybe going to come back to said relative's place at some time. Now Lil's trying to get their attention, maybe?

RebelVampire

maybe. i feel like something deeper is going on. cause normally if you couldn't deal with a child youre watching you just ship them back to their parents. not send them to an orphanage.

not to mention lilith is a bag of trouble

and if i was the headmistress and knew lilith had parents who didnt abandon her forever, i wouldve been like "oh whoops back to your parents you go"

although nobody might know where the parents are

maybe lilith's witch parent is as bad as magic

are trapped in a video game

mathtans

Yeah, I figured maybe it was a "no forwarding address" kind of thing. Possibly because one of them is wanted, and they don't want their ties to the kids to be an issue.

Heh, that'd be amusing, if Lilith's witch parent had the same trouble with spells. Came by it honestly.

As to parent/kid ties, I feel like Eve is maybe a reincarnation of Cthulu or something. Which is why she can channel subconsciously?

RebelVampire

or the secret child. cause i mean of course cthulhu would abandon a kid. not out of evil but cthulhu has evil cthulhu stuff to do. no time to be raising kids. but ya know, can make time to show up and say "dont you tocuh my kid weird demon fellow"

but reincarnation works too

never considered that

or maybe eve just is cthulhu

the only one

and that was just an astral projection of her power or something fancy like that

mathtans

Yeah, monster adults be busy and all. Speaking of, I wonder if the other beings are kind of in their own dimension somewhere? Or if there are pockets in the real world? I mean, seemed like a normal town not too far away.

Eve is a chibi-cthulhu.

RebelVampire

it could just be both cause this seems like one of them tricky magic worlds where every answer is probably plausible O_O

i want to know why hollow can breathe fire on a side note. like is this werewolf lore i dont know about XD

mathtans

They live in video games.

Hollow eats a lot of spicy peppers.

keii4ii

I'm not aware of fire-breathing werewolf lores, but now that I think about it, it'd be really cool(edited)

to see a howling wolf exhale a long stream of fire into the moon

mathtans

Maybe it comes from the human side. Born of one of those fire eaters in the carnivals and a werewolf.

keii4ii

Unlikely but not impossible: could be a loose reference to the eclipse dog that tried to eat the sun (and failed)

mathtans

Hm, not one I know of.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 3. The world of the comic is interesting to say the least. How do you think Littlelight Asylum manages to stay under the radar given its unique composition of occupants? Do you think we’ll see Mel again? Further, do you think Mel will manage to expose Littlelight Asylum for what it is, or will Mel’s efforts wind up in vain? How abundant do you think monsters are compared to humans anyway? What do you think would happen if normal humans found out about the orphanage? Will it turn out okay, badly, or do you think they have safety nets in place? Lastly, why do you think Headmistress Light continues the orphanage when it causes her many headaches and risks a lot?

RebelVampire

ive never heard of that one either but i dont mark it off as impossible either. it was just a weird detail that made me curious about hollow. granted tbf hes a wolf all the time so this def is a diff sort of werewolf

mathtans

Different rules and all... demons live in hats.

I think calling the place an "Asylum" is a good way to keep random visitors from showing up. Just saying.

Monsters must be more prevalent than one thinks though, if they're having relationships with humans? And if Mel has enough data to identify them as such?

I'm not sure about safety nets, btw. The best solution they had seemed to be get on the bus.

RebelVampire

well that orphanage alone was pretty populated from what it seemed. and having an orphanage implies that either 1) the population is large because generally you only have an orphanage that community raising isnt a viable option or 2) orphans in the monster world are extremely, extremely common and probably more orphans than kids with parents

thats a great point about asylum tho

that its used as a detterent

thats brilliant and i never considered that

mathtans

True, about the implications. It could also be that it's the only place on the entire Earth for them.

I wonder if anyone tries to send an actual human orphan to the place. Are they listed in the yellow pages?

RebelVampire

if they are actually using the asylum thing as a deterrent for humans, probably not

mathtans

About Headmistress Light... she may have inherited the place? It is sort of named after her.

RebelVampire

yeah her profile says as much

mathtans

Probably not. Unless you get a tax writeoff or something.

RebelVampire

that the place was her father's

mathtans

Ahh, I didn't recall the profiles.

RebelVampire

i assume she actually just cares about kids and knows that as monsters its not like they have anywhere else to go. cause you cant exactly send them to regular orphanages cause they might not understand the concept of not getting caught by a human lynch mob that well

mathtans

Yeah, I kinda feel the same. She also checked out the costumes before going into the town.

RebelVampire

i do think were inevitably going to see mel again. mel had too much potential as an antagonist

and i also think mel would be a good character way to show the human side of things

and how the humans might perceive monsters

and maybe actually show those preventitive measures

mathtans

Yeah, that does seem likely. I wonder what her damage is? Like, just give the weird monsters a chocolate and they'll leave you alone. You can then do all your plotting in secret.

Mel has her own issues, basically. ^^

I liked the explanation for why they went to her house even though they knew she was annoyed with them, btw.

Also, very topical for this time of year.

RebelVampire

yes. not even purposely timed XD

tbh tho i kind of also hope they turn mel into an ally

like show mel look we can go into the video games

and mel is like "ok this is cool i will help you now"

mathtans

Help them what though? Hide out? They've been pretty good at that.

Though it could be funny if Mel can cast spells properly, so Lilith gets advice from her.

RebelVampire

if not mel i do hope we get to see a more competent spell caster that can mentor lilith a bit. although i kind of hope all the kids get mentors. learn to become well-rounded ppl

QUESTION 4. The story is formatted in a way to offer lots of room for interesting scenarios. Are there any sorts of supernatural based scenarios you think might be interesting to see? Alternatively, is there something non-supernatural that you think it’d be interesting to watch the kids go through? Do you think we’ll see any of the antagonists from the previous scenarios again? If so, what do you think will happen? How many of the future scenarios do you think will be caused by Lilith’s magic going awry? Speaking of the supernatural though, what other sorts of cryptids or similar are you hoping to see character wise? Alternatively, is there a character you’ve seen already that you want to see more of based on their cryptid base?

RebelVampire

to answer one of those questions, id really like to see monster schooling. cause that must be a crazy mess

mathtans

I'm just trying to think of who'd be the mentors... might mix things up, have the wolves try to mentor Lilith...

I'm wondering if ghosts are a thing. Or contacting dead people. Particularly if parents are dead.

I hope the Lilith's magic going weird doesn't become a crutch... I liked how it was subverted a bit in the most recent one, where they were able to defeat the enemies.

RebelVampire

yeah. i do hope to see some character and skill growth

cause i really want lilith's magic to be useful at points

and for her to learn to maybe read the whole thing

and not invoke curses

mathtans

I feel like her learning might be a bit of a stretch. Could be interesting if they end up in classes though.

Like, are there spell casting classes?

RebelVampire

maybe

oh you know what i could forsee as a scenario

another witch joining the orphanage

that is way better at magic

mathtans

Ohh, that could be an interesting point.

Or even worse, like, gives Lilith a superiority complex.

RebelVampire

yeah that could happen to

unless the orphanage has that already, another witch. tbf id really like to see more of the kids in general. cause there were a lot of interesting and great designs already(edited)

and it could add to the kid's dynamic as well. like seeing how they interact with the others. cause lilith might not be the only one who's kind of outcasted from the other groups

mathtans

It's true. Maybe all three of the mains are kind of seen as the troublemakers by other kids too. So they end up by themselves.

Just looking at the character page again. It mentions that headmistress light has a power. Maybe she'll end up as a mentor?

Also, I wonder about Annabel there too.

RebelVampire

yeah. annabel i hope we get to see of more too. cause she looks sort of puppet or frankenstein like perhaps? so i want to know what her story is

granted i also want to know about bel too

i especially want to know how eve and hollow feel about bel

cause i assume they know bel exists

mathtans

Yeah, that would make sense.

Like, I would assume they figure he can't control Lilith any more than they can... so hmmm, what use is he?(edited)

RebelVampire

on the opposite end they might feel hes a bad influence on lilith

mathtans

Annabel could be a puppet, that might explain the pose after she fell off the ceiling, I hadn't considered that.

Maybe. Particularly if Bel's, like, reporting back to a witches council or something.

RebelVampire

he might just be a bad influence via not always discouraging lilith's crazy. you could make that argument at least

mathtans

Maybe he's really Lilith's dad in disguise.

RebelVampire

before the chat closes out, i want to add that i agree with super in that the character designs are really fantastic. theres a real great balance of detail and simplicity and i feel like all the designs really match the character theyre for.

mathtans

Dad's kind of a bumbling goof, doesn't want anyone to know. ^.^

Yeah, and I think the characters complement each other really well. Like, the more reserved sensible one, the off the wall random one, and the guy who's prone to excitement and is happy to be doing his best.

Even that second antagonist (if the ones at the start with the vines were the first), the Flame guy, he had some good motivations and things... and "eternal" wasn't just a catchphrase.

Btw, Hollow and Eve seem to share a room... does Lilith have a roommate, you think?

RebelVampire

well bel could technically be considered her roommate

probably just bel

lilith might spell another roommate into accident death

i liked eternal flame guy. he had the kind of over the top personality that is really fun

mathtans

There is always that danger.

RebelVampire

and i also liked that until cthulhu showed up he was op and able to beat children

mathtans

Extreme traits are interesting. Yeah, I liked the line "Oh, uh, are you with them" or whatever it was.

I suppose he could come back too, from the pocket dimension. Maybe he'll help to mentor them.

Anyway, should prove interesting to see what the next storyline is.

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB END!

Sadly, this wraps up this week’s Thursday Book Club chat for now. Thank you so much to everyone for reading and joining us! We want to give a special thank you to Julian Dominguez, Esther Pimentel, and Toben Racicot, as well, for making Littlelight Asylum. If you liked the comic, make sure to support Julian Dominguez, Esther Pimentel, and Toben Racicot’s efforts however you’re able to~!

Read and Comment: http://littlelightasylum.spiderforest.com/

Julian’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/Boxboycomics

Esther’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/Gilly_thesilly

Toben’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/TobenRacicot

Comic Tea Party- Thursday Book Club

Next week’s Thursday Book Club will be about Anacrine Complex by Sae. For participants, you have the next week to read as much of the comic as you would like~! We hope to see you on Thursday, November 8th, from 5PM to 7PM PST for the chat in #thursday_bookclub!

Comic’s Main Site: http://pigeoncomic.com/

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