#shit my bf says

[kryptonitejelly]

I aint worried comes onto the car speakers

bf (without missing a beat or looking over): stop thinking of semi naked guys

me: ho-

bf: stop thinking of semi naked glen fucking powell

💀💀💀💀

#BUT I’LL ALWAYS THINK OF THIS GIF #NO ONE CAN STOP MY BRAIN #k talks #not cm #shit my bf says

[bixels]

#personal #me #not art #dumb #thought this was just funny #was on some shit last night #btw the screenshot says I tweeted at 6:49pm but it was actually 2am #cuz my bf took the screenshot and they’re overseas

[introspectivememories]

too many of you guys think nico is the loser and not lewis for letting the divorce go on for so long. like they're both losers about each other. emotionally constipated idiots who can't talk about their toxic homoerotic friendship that imploded on itself like 8 years ago and are now making it everyone else's problem. yeah nico's on television or in beer gardens talking about lewis all the time but like every other month some reporter is like "lewis, what's your favorite moment in your career?" and lewis no hesitation is like "oh man, karting, y'know? everything was simpler then" and then spends another six months skirting around nico's name. like this whole thing they're doing in the media isn't some kinda extended foreplay for them. they're both still pressing on the bruise to make sure it's still there!!! every few months, they're literally just asking on public television, does it still hurt for you like it does for me? and like clockwork, someone will release new information about them or one of them will say something about each other (in my heart, he's still my best friend/yes... and teammate) and the answer will remain the same, yes, of course, always.

#lewis is unarguably more famous than nico. like i feel like this a fact. and yet every other day nico is in the press saying some crazy shit #about lewis. if i was famous i woulda shut that shit down soo long ago. my ex-bf is in the press talkin bout me constantly??? that feels #like such bad pr and yet!!! lewis has not done anything. why? cause he likes it!!! cause they've never moved on from the 1st moment they #broke each other's hearts. like this is genuinely insane. #im always so nervous to post my thoughts on brocedes cause so many of you were here b4 me and have a better understanding on them #and like being a wrong is like a death sentence to me but still please tell me if i got them completely wrong #i have a lot of thoughts on lewis and his reluctance to talk about nico... most of them being that one quote from emma #if i loved you less i might be able to talk about it more #ok obligatory disclaimer: a lot of this is hyperbole. i don't think that they're asking lewis that ? every other month #but there are like at least 5 interviews where he talks about karting like they're his most precious memories #so make of that what you will #and obv i don't know these people but as someone who's brain chemistry has been permanently changed by them #i think i'm allowed to not only project onto them but also make stupid little posts analyzing them #anyway yeah #f1 #lewis hamilton #nico rosberg #brocedes

[inkskinned]

am i gonna put you in the book acknowledgements am i gonna be able to say your name without flinching am i ever gonna get a word in edgewise am i ever gonna recover the time i spent with you. computer virus kid; i arrived in your life already begging to be let in. somehow insecure i could even be your friend. like you had a line outside the door and we were all shifting our weight, begging.

you're so fucking good at that - at making people feel like they need to earn you, like you're a commodity none of us can afford. no kindness or careful communication could work on you - you were so good at just going-ghost, about deciding someone just wasn't cool-enough. something about that is super ironic. even the parts of it that weren't romantic felt like a romance book. i wanted you to like me so badly i scrubbed myself clean just so you'd spare me - what. your favor? a look?

okay okay okay. it's just a friendship - if it was even true that we were friends, if you even saw me as someone you trusted. on reddit someone would tell me girl literally just cut her out of your life, it's not that difficult. even i was aware of how fucked up the whole situation was. like, why the fuck do i even care about your approval? you're like, not even that fun to be around. you are often a little bit cruel.

but for almost four years of my life, i thought i had found someone like me. somebody who liked the same things i do. someone who liked to read and who liked making jokes with esoteric references and who spent maybe too much time on the internet and who was absolutely a little bit pretentious. i don't know, something about that was powerful and addictive.

i keep thinking about our last conversation. about how i said - okay, enough is enough. you pushed me too far, you really hurt my feelings.

and how you laughed and said - you think you're the victim?

#spilled ink #warm up #writeblr #she physically assaulted me and then screamed in my face #but not before sh'ing first and blaming it on me #while she was locked in my bathroom. at 1 in the morning #while i begged her to please just calm down and to try taking a deep breath and to go to sleep #and then she was like - ur just like my abuser #bc she had screamed in my face which was triggering to me and i froze like a deer in the headlights #and since i had shut down at that point evidently i was the problem child #i know she is out there telling our mutual friends i abandoned her and it makes me SO pissed off #like dude you spent so much fucking time forgiving & forgetting that your decrepit asshole of a boyfriend #pushed me down in the fucking hallway #but noooo hes <3 troubled <3 at 43 and divorced #bc according to you it's important that u don't '''see anyone as a monster'' #but god forbid i not handle you SCREAMING IN MY FACE #i couldnt even get you to say sorry for crossing my original and only boundary you were like ''what did you want me to do'' #babe i said 'the bf is not allowed around here he scares me and u said ur broken up with him' #that was the thing i wanted you to do: not fucking invite him to WHERE I LIVED #godddd typing this shit out and knowing it's only 2% of what actually happened makes me feel pathetic #i can't believe i let you treat me like that. you were a TERRIBLE friend.

[softshuji]

Whoever thinks hanma doesn't do aftercare and leaves you like that is a bit funny to me ngl like we just know, we know, he's gonna bring you on his chest to smoke a cigarette and make you laugh till you end up falling asleep curled up against him I take no criticism I'm never wrong.

#tiRED of the ones saying he wouldn't? what do you take him for? put some respect on my boyfriend's name !❗ #anyways #king shit only as expected of the sexy tall bf himself #tokyo revengers #hanma shuji #this has been a psa!!!!!!!❗

[xxbimbobunnyxx]

Eddie: “Baby, can I use your razor to shave my face?”

You: “I mean yeah but it’s literally been inside my buttcrack.”

Eddie: “So has my face.”

#shit Eddie says #I can’t lie my bf said this and he’s just super modern Eddie coded #eddie munson x reader #xoxodolly

[onionmilktea]

rose quartz vhs steven we both cannot exist but it’s jerma talking to scout tf2

#steven universe #rose quartz #jerma #jerma985 #tf2 #scout #scout tf2 #not art #onionmilkthought #i might draw this who knows #my bf said he’s gonna start recording our discord calls bc i say shit like this #and my gf laughed

[theworldinclines]

#that bit when top said i AM friendly! :) as long as he doesn't fuck with me :) LIKE that was the first thing i thought of DSGKJHGLKJ #he is SO crazy <3 #can i say something bold and suggest that yo's bf shouldve been gunsmile HDFLKGHDGKLJD #as an apology for killing his character in 3wbf so that they couldnt end up together #bc that shit was EVIL and i think it would be funny esp bc yo and her bf in this are barely there anyway like why not just give this to me. #smh #like her and gunsmile had actual chemistry in that and her and this guy dont have it lmao he seems pained every time he has to #act like her likes her or am i hallucinating #update: in the new ost it seems like they have a fight where HE dumps her and its like ?? u have no personality and r dry as hell lol #only friends series #my edits #only friends the series #ofts #only friends #ofts squad #sandray #sanray #sand x ray #san x ray #topmew #top x mew #nickboston #bostonnick #nick x boston #boston x nick

[weirdmageddon]

sorry for liking davejade in 2023 btw its in a cool way though

#hs #davejade #like that one person said bi4bi cool silly girl and her lame ass court jester bf who enjoy each others company a lot #“its boring” well not everything has to be conflict sometimes it can be two people really vibing #and being good foils to each other and just sort of being like a lock and key #i dont dislike davekat but i felt like they bickered too much which is Funny dont get me wrong #but i like davejade for different reasons #in that i feel like dave is at his most heartfelt with her #bc jade doesnt do anything to warrant snarkiness. she doesnt make him uncomfortable and that earns his trust like a lot #ppl say its boring cause its a mf ship and they dont get them like i do #and my answer to that as an agender person is who the fuck cares #i hate ppl dismissing mf ships out of hand like…hey bi ppl exist. and even if they were straight they still got a good dynamic #of care and interest towards each other #hes not her knight in shining armor bffr. she has uhhh fucking GUN #they are Equals #jade slaps the shit outta people on more than one occasion lol #they infodump to EACH OTHER and they both listen #remember when jade wanted to infodump to john about physics remember that #dave would eat that up like oh damn that so dope and tie it back to time or whatever. special relativity #since space and time are fundamentally related #sorry im running on fumes rn i didnt sleep last night #ALSO THEY HAVE MATCHING ALCHEMIZED OUTFITS #jade’s dead shuffle dress and dave’s four aces suited both use a midnight crew poster as ingredients #i should draw them together in that mspa style #maybe theyre not even romantic. who said ships had to be. its short for relationship #well theres multiple kinds of relationships. what if they were queerplatonic

[kryptonitejelly]

bf (calls me in the middle of a run): where are you?

me: running, 2 miles in. i’m hungry, i think i’ll die on this run

bf: hang in there

#☠️ #shit my bf says #where is the sympathy #not cm #k talks #not tg

[sofarsogoodsowhat]

AUUUUGHHHHH MY HEAD HURTS SO BAD

#face #new stupid hat!!!!! #i had so much fucking fun. my boyfriend ended up going with me and staying the whole time :) he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to #we both got drunk i got really stoned we both talked to the dudes from the second band for a WHILE and got cheap leather from em #cuz their singer makes leather like cuffs and collars n that kinda shit #AND THEIR LEATHER IS SOURCED FROM A FUCKING REZ. ITS FUCKING INSANE ITS SO COOL #but also their singer was looking at my tattoos and was like HOW OLD ARE YOU??? and he looks like he’s around my moms age #so that made me feel really fucking good abt my tattoos . #they’re the band that had the heavy metal parking lot shirt #also!!!! talked to the guitarist from the first band outside (i want him BAD) and he got all excited when i said i loved his solos and their #set was fucking crazy and he gave me a couple stickers and then when me and my bf’s bf were talking to the singer from the second band #the guitarist from the first one comes over and starts talking to me again and says he likes my shirt and then he was like yeah man i saw #you out there and i was like damn this seems like the kinda guy that’ll love this set i fucking hope he does I think i’m in love with him. #listen to takacs (columbus based??) + razorblade (pittsburgh) #apparently ppl at thrash shows like my tattoos! i need 2 look into the local thrash scene more

[voiceofsword]

doodles from a few months ago bc i have too many wips im working on @_@

#rinniki #mine #i think rinne would be a jealous bf he wouldnt say anything. Obviously. but under his outgoing carefree attitude i think he - #could be a little anxious idk. also i just think this scenario is funey #rinne giving niki food or money for food instead of stealing it like he usuallg does and nikis like oh shit? (purrs) #theyre so silly and in love ohhhhjjjhhh #SORRY THEYRE SO MESSY BUT... IM AWAY RN AND AKSO DOING EVENTS SO MY DRAWING TIME IS NULL

[bylertruther]

byler + santa clarita diet au where will is sheila and mike is joel. you nod and clap and agree because you know that it fucks severely and fits them perfectly, yes

summary for the uninitiated:

#blood tw #mine #will is literally zombie boy n mike is Like That . liek. please ... . . it suits them so well they're already canonically halfway there #will Goes Thru Some Shit n comes back wrong aka he's actually zombie boy #mike is just like his canon s2 self. knows fuck-all abt what's going on with his monster bf but he tries his best bc one thing abt him is #he WILL support n defend not only will's gay rights ... but also his gay wrongs 🫶 #they don the s2 tunnel outfits not to go into the tunnels obvi but bc they're making n packing will's 'lunches' for the week #hashtag meal planning bc mike breaks down 2 will one time n says if they're going to do this they're going to do it RIGHT gdi #sits down at his laptop later and scrolls through housewife pinterest for hours to get all the cleaning + meal planning tips #will says he's on a caveman diet or some other bullshit bc he can't eat people food anymore only raw meats #the party thinks its fucking Gröse n dustin doesn't buy it n el says eW wiLL [insert a grimace she 100% learned from mike here] #in the early days when they're still getting the hang of things or shit just goes fucky during um . well. them getting will some Lunch #they hit an artery or smth idk n get blood on mike's sweater and he whines abt it SO much and NEVER lets will forget tht it #was his FAVORITE sweater actually!!!! the things he does for love smh..... 🙄 #clasps my hands 2gether. ok so which one of u is writing it then . teacher voice It's Okay I'll Wait . #DFBJHBDJHBFJDHJ #ideas

[showinalittlelife]

“i respect everyone’s opinions” i dont. if u don’t ship satosugu jjk should be taken away from you. no more jjk.

#like sorry but my bf didnt deny his six (6!) eyes & trusted his soul to know his bf better than them for yall to say they were like brothers #this isn’t alabama that man was WHIPPED #stsg could literally be making out in front of these weird ass stsg antis and they’d still pull shit like #’yeah that’s just an average male friendship’ my brother in christ the closet is made of glass #jjk #satosugu

[enpassants]

neil perry deciding to announce his love for todd anderson by reading him a love poem he found but todd just thinks he's really admiring poetry

#based on me and my bf? perhaps #but it does work for anderperry too #neil: *says the most sappy shit while keeping direct eye contact with todd professing his love for him* #todd: *WOAH. that poem was really pretty!* #and so neil just has to accept he has to be a LOT more direct when trying to flirt with todd because he is oblivious to the max #dead poets society #dps #dps fandom #dead poets #dps memes #dead poets headcanons #dps hcs #dps headcanons #neil perry #todd anderson #neil and todd #todd and neil #anderperry

[hermanunworthy]

just had a dream where i came across this bat that i wanted to nurse back to health/keep as a pet and he kept biting me but i didnt wanna get rid of him even though i was like "im most likely gonna get rabies and die" and he turned out to be a hot vampire and everyone was like "dude ur gonna get KILLED get RID OF HIM" and i was like "noooo but im in love w himmm"

and as soon as i woke up i was like "oakworthy au."

#that was so normal oak of me why am i so him actually #dream me is so stupid. but ofc id be willing to get rabies if it meant i could get a little bit of affection 😭 #i miss my hot vampire bf idc VAMPIRES ARE MY SHIT #anyways should i draw this au. i might #oakworthy #siren says