#snooty because he actually went to law school

[simpsonssimp]

I saw people on here with an appreciation for Blue Haired Lawyer, and I concur 💙

#the simpsons #my art #blue haired lawyer #BHL #fan art #lionel hutz #Dr Nick #snooty because he actually went to law school #is it crispy #yeeeeees #but not too crispy #noooooo

[chanelsebbie]

𝗪𝗵𝘆 𝗗𝗼 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗛𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗠𝗲? | 𝗽.𝗽.

➵warnings: Substance use, language, Endgame spoilers, angst. 

➵masterlist

➵summary: Peter just wants to know why you hate him. 

➵a/n: Hee hee, I’m still trying to break in my new blog so feel free to send in requests and follow or reblog :)  ((THIS IS A STARK!READER FIC))

You never really liked Peter Parker. 

But you didn’t hate him. You couldn’t. Everyone on the Avengers team tolerated him, and some even liked him. And he was talented at what he did. But you still couldn’t bring yourself to like him. 

After the events of Thanos, you were finally brought back, and so was Peter. And Tony was happier than ever to get you home, and in his arms again. You went in and kicked ass. And the good guys won. 

But at the cost of your father’s life. 

Now that he was gone, everyone is asking who the next Ironman would be. You would think people would have been gunning on you, his own daughter, but instead, everybody looked to the boy no older than yourself. 

And jealousy raged through you, feeling put off to the side, along with trying to grieve and mourn your fathers death, all while trying to keep the world at peace. And with the Captain in retirement, along with Natasha gone, that left the team struggling to stay together. Some of the strongest members were gone, and Thor was still trying to lose that weight. 

So it all fell down to you. And sadly, also Peter. You were struggling to finish your studies in high school, as was Peter, the both of you attending the same school. While Peter had all sorts of friends, you preferred to be alone, and get through school, so you could take on more missions and important callings. 

Just like today. But today was going to be slightly different. 

“Come on, y/n, it’s just one party! It won’t kill you,” he protested as you walked into the common area of the Avengers headquarters. 

“Yes it will,” you grunted, plopping down on the couch and telling F.R.I.D.A.Y. to turn the TV on.”

“No- F.R.I.D.A.Y., turn the TV off- It’s a big party and I know you’ll have fun! Flash is throwing it but I know you can still enjoy it,”

That made you not want to go even more. Flash was arrogant, snooty, and always took your detesting glares as playing hard to get. All you knew is that he didn’t like the word ‘no’, which set up multiple red flags for you. 

“No. I said no.” you huffed, taking the remote this time and turning the TV back on, flipping through the channels was Peter let out a defeated sigh, sitting right next to you, pulling out his phone. 

But secretly, Peter didn’t want to leave the living room. And even if he was on his phone, he just wanted to be near you. 

◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆

“Come ooonnn, y/n, please??” Peter begged over the phone, pleading with you as he tried to get you to come to the stupid party that he was already at. 

The loud music could be heard in the background, along with some masculine cheering, which you were sure was the captain of the football team. 

“Peter, no, I’m already in bed,” lie “and I’m in the middle of a book. I’ll see you when you get back to the compound,” you tried to negotiate with a clip to your voice, and the truth was you were at the compound, sitting on the couch in a pair of fuzzy socks and you really didn’t wanna get up. 

“Fine. Yeah. Fine, have fun at home, square.” he dramatically replied, obviously also not a fan of the word no.

You hated when he did that, when he tried to guilt trip you, because no matter how cheesy it was, he almost always succeeded in making you feel like shit. 

“Good night, Peter,”

And with that, you hung up. 

◆◆◆◆◆◆◆

You found yourself dozing off to the sound of the movie playing on the screen, the large blanket covering you making you never want to leave for the rest of your life. 

But your blissful state was halted by the sound of your phone ringing, making your eyes shoot open and lazily grabbing your cellular device and mindlessly pressing the answer button without looking at the contact name before letting out a groggy “Hello?”

“Y/n!!! Heeeyyyyy,” Peter’s loopy voice sounded off, and if you weren’t full awake already, you certainly were now. 

“Peter??” you scolded, “Are you...?”

“Having the time of my life?? Abbssolutelyyy!!” 

“Shhhhh, just-” you pinched the bridge of your nose, trying not to panic, “Where are you?”

“At the party you were too scared to come to,” he chastised, making you let out a silent sigh in annoyance. 

“Just stay there, okay, I’m coming,” you finally spoke, flipping the blanket off of yourself and getting up with get some real clothes on.

“I like it when you say you’re comi-”

And with that, you hung up the phone. 

◆◆◆◆◆◆◆

If there was one thing that your father had good taste in, it was his automobiles. He had many he took pride in. Especially the red ones. And if anything, the memory of your father might keep you sane. 

You punched in the address for Flash’s house, and even brought a pair of your father’s glasses, the only two E.D.I.T.Hs left. Ever. 

The drive there was speedy, and when you pulled into the driveway, your stomach dropped. A flood of teenagers crowded the house, and that was just the outside. You couldn’t imagine trying to find Peter in that mess. 

“E.D.I.T.H., find Peter for me, will you?” you spoke to your glasses. 

“Of course,” the voice responded, pausing a moment before continuing, “He’s in the living room. His alcohol levels are high.”

You groaned. You should’ve known, you shouldn’t have let him go out on his own to a party with Flash, that prick has alcohol up the ying-yang thanks to daddy’s money, shit-

Standing up out of the car, you slam the door, glasses still on, “E.D.I.T.H., show me Parker’s vitals, please,” you continued to storm towards the front door and making your way in. 

“His heartbeat is quick and his blood pressure is high, and as I said before, his alcohol levels are irrate.”

“Peter??” you called out, watching as his head popped up like a weasel’s, eyes bright as he recognized you. 

“[y/n]!!” He gasped, running over to you before wrapping his arms around you, “You came! I knew you would!”

“Yeah,” you pulled him off of you, “I came to get you. You’re drunk, Parker, we’re going home.”

“Aww, come on,” he pushed before hanging on you. 

“Peter. No. Come on, let’s go,” you pushed him off again, obviously more annoyed than before. You hated the way people were starting to look at you. 

“[y/n]! Please, don’t push me away again! Just let loose and have fun,”

Your anger brewed. And this was supposed to be the next Ironman. 

“Peter.” you scolded in the most dominant voice you could muster, making a few people around the two of you look their way, “We. Are going. Home.”

Without another word, you grabbed his hand and dragged him out, Peter protesting like a toddler, trying to pull back, but he was so drunk, he seemed weak, and unable to truly fight back. 

You reached the car, opening the door for him as he sat down, folding his arms and glaring at you as you got into the car, starting it and pulling out of the driveway and back to Queens, where hopefully you could get Peter out of trouble. 

A few good 3 minutes passed, (it felt longer thanks to Peter’s glare), and you finally spoke up. 

“Are you done staring at me like a child?” you breathed like a disappointed parent. Which was worse, acting like a mother or a child?

“I’m waiting for an apology. When I sober up, the guyyss are never going to leave alone about what you did to be back there.” he grumbled, obviously going to hold his grudge. 

“I don’t have to apologize for anything,” you gripped the steering wheel a little tighter, trying to suppress your thoughts that made you quick to anger. 

“Like hell-”

“I wasn’t the one breaking the law and underage drinking,” you growled back.

“I can’t wait till I sober up so I can show you what for. That was mortifying. You’re embarrassing.”

Out of everything you’ve been called, embarrassing was never something you were dubbed. 

Peter paused and held his breath, realizing he was blowing it with you, “Wait, [y/n], I’m sorry, I’m just-”

“It’s fine,” you dismissed, trying to keep tears from welling up in your eyes. 

“No, it can’t be, because I read somewhere that if a woman says she’s fine, she’s really not actually fine, and-”

“Peter! Just shut up, please!!” you scolded, trying not to sob, just wanting this night to go away. 

Soon after you hit a red light, and Peter just stared straight ahead, his jaw clenched, trying to think of something to say. Something to do. Anything at all to try and fix it. But thanks to the alcohol limiting the filter between his brain and his mouth, the next thing that came out of his mouth was:

“Why do you hate me?”

Your world seemed to stop for a second as you tried to compose yourself. This was the last thing you wanted him to think, no matter how vulnerable he made you feel. 

“I don’t hate you, Peter...,”

“Then what is it? Why do you push me away? Can you see that I like you? Like really really like you?”

You swallowed hard at his words. You closed your eyes and swallowed, “Peter, I don’t know what to tell you-”

“Then tell me something, please, anything-”

“I love you, Peter-” your outburst made him wince as he tried to focus and piece together your words in his drunken state, “I love you, Peter. And whenever I look at you... I see him, and I just...,” you took a deep breath to prevent the tears welling in your eyes, making you seem weak in your opinion, “I’m supposed to be the next Ironman, but the press says differently. I’m jealous of you Peter,” you shook in embarrassment as you pressed down on the gas, your cloudy vision making you swerve to stay on the road so you didn’t crash a priceless car. 

“You love me?”

“Y-yeah, I mean, I guess, I wouldn’t...,” you paused, “You aren’t going to remember this in the morning anyway,”

“No. I’m not gonna forget this. Not even if I tried,” he laughed humorlessly, leaning back in his seat. 

“Well... I guess the cat’s out of the bag,” you thought out loud, wanting to take your rant and stuff it back down your throat. 

You didn’t mean for him to find out. Not like this at least. 

◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆

When you two got back to the compound, he gipped onto you like a kid, clinging to you and refusing to let go. At this point there was a mutual understanding between the two of you. That both of you had feelings, but it wouldn’t be discussed until the morning. 

The elevator ride made Peter look sick, the alcohol finally starting to catch up to him, and right as the doors opened, he ran inside, finding the closest bathroom. 

That poor toilet. 

You caught up to him and sat next to a sickly Peter, rubbing his back as he let everything out. He held you the best he could, not wanting you to leave his side. 

You brushed the hair away from his forehead as he leaned over the side of the toilet, groaning in discomfort as he continued to cling to you like you would slip away. After a few more times of the repeated pattern of ejecting bile, he turned to you.

“I’m tired,” he mumbled like a child. 

“Come on, Spidey, let’s get you to bed,” you gave a small smile, picking him up as you dragged him out of the bathroom and into a guest bedroom, getting him an extra shirt and sweatpants from the closet before turning around while he got changed. 

But a wrapping of arms around your waist told you he was done. You waddled him over to the bedside before sitting him down and getting him off your back. He was like a damn koala. 

You finally laid him down, pulling the covers over him snuggly, not failing to notice the longing stare coming from Peter. You gave a smile, and he smiled back. It made your heart flutter in spite of yourself. 

You shook yourself out of it, the only thing on your mind now was getting to sleep, trying to forget the conversation that was supposed to be had the next morning. 

“Goodnight, Peter.” you began to walk away, but before you could get too far away from the bed, you felt someone grab your hand. 

“Please stay,” he begged, unspilled tears in his eyes, the fear of you leaving his side the greatest concern on his mind. 

You paused. You were about to go to sleep with Peter Parker, and yet your hesitation was the only thing that was stopping you from what you had wished you had been doing for as long as you had known the boy. 

Despite the voice screaming in the back of your head to put the wall back up and your foot down, say no, and leave, your body opposed, slipping under the covers with the sniffling teenager. 

He immediately smiled and embraced you, and you knew that you would have to get used to the physical contact. He was behind you, his arms around your waist, his breath gently fanning over the nape of your neck. 

You covered the both of you up, Peter sighing. And as much as you hated to admit it, he looked adorable. 

“Parker, if you barf in my hair, you aren’t gonna wake up with eyebrows,” you were half-joking, half-serious. 

“Will do.” he laughed sluggishly, sniffling before you finally felt his breaths steady and slow, passed out with you in his arms. 

You never really liked Peter Parker. 

You loved him.

#peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker x stark!reader #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker imagine #marvel

[night-poster]

How about some general headcanons about what it's like to be in a relationship with Boss, Coffee, Wine, and Rus?

damn went straight for some of my faves

Boss

Is very picky about how the tips of his fingers look, and definitely files them bc they grow like nails.

Actually really critical of his cooking, if he serves someone anything he will stare them down until they say something about the dish.

When he came to the surface he actually stayed away from jobs with anything remotely violent to avoid being stereotyped, but ended up falling in love with his job at an animal shelter.

Doomfanger lives an insanely lavish life. Boss knows shes basically a little old lady by cat standards, but will talk to her like a baby and hand make her food; and i mean that gourmet raw meat kind of food.

Gets along surprisingly well with children. He talks to them like they’re adults and gets surprised when whatever child is in his presence decides they’re besties now.

Coffee

Somehow doesn’t like cafés on the surface, especially popular ones. He cant stand so many strangers in a small place, it stresses him out and he’d rather enjoy his coffee at home.

Is insanely sneaky; he doesn’t like to but is a very good liar and actor. Could literally live a double life and no one would find out.

Coffee learns languages in his free time. Its incredibly easy to him and will use that skill at the most random times.

His skill with language actually landed him a job at as a professional translator and he takes advantage of that to travel for work.

He doesn’t like to talk a lot because of his braces, it’s a bit of an insecurity.

Wine

Is, you guessed it, a wine snob. This man would go to an expensive ass winery just to scoff at everything there. It’s not even because he doesn’t like it, he just likes to be snooty in high end places.

Likes it when people do his makeup. The attention is nice and he usually likes how he looks afterwards. Dramatic eyeliner is his favorite.

Will ignore the weirdest shit, like absurd shit on a New York subway weird shit. When he first came up to the surface he took public transit and would just unplug his mind until it was his stop.

Really lax when it comes to parties, hes generally unfazed by anything that wont kill him, so people getting shit faced and wild at a party hes at doesn’t bother him, unless its his place.

First got a job as a taxi driver when he moved to the surface, then found out he had terrible road rage. He now goes to law school just to do something he likes.

Rus

One gold tooth he has isn’t real, its just a cap he put on his other canine so it looks better in his eyes.

Is musically inclined and picks up random instruments to learn. He will learn then and never touch it again.

Learned how to sew when he was younger to keep the clothes he really liked, now he rarely does it.

He’s repulsed by human cigarettes, they smell like death to him and are much different then the kind he’s used to.

Ended up using his musical skill to land a job as a piano player at some random restaurant, his employment hangs on a thread because he doesn’t take song requests.

#uf papyrus #sf papyrus #swapfell gold sans #swapfell gold papyrus #underfell #swapfell #swapfell gold #undertale headcanons

[the--blackdahlia]

Happy Birthday to You (Dean x Reader)

Title: Happy Birthday to You

Summary: It’s (Y/n)’s birthday

Warnings: None

AN: Happy birthday @sams-serialkiller-fetish​! I hope you enjoy!

They had been married for five years. In the hustle and bustle of life; Dean finishing school to be a licensed mechanic and (Y/n) getting her degree to be the head librarian at the local college’s library. Things were crazy, and (Y/n) almost forgot that her birthday had come around yet again. She hoped that maybe if she didn’t say anything, no one would make a big deal out of it. She didn’t really like to celebrate her birthday. It was just another day and it wasn’t anything special.

“Hey babe, I’ve got to work late,” Dean told her that morning. “I’m going to call in an order to that Italian place down the road from our house. Would you pick it up?”

“Does that mean I have to put on pants?” (Y/n) had laughed.

“Actually, you might want to wear a dress. They can be snooty, remember?” Dean told her. (Y/n) sighed and nodded.

She went about her day, a little bummed. Yeah, she didn’t like to celebrate her birthday, but her own husband hadn’t even told her happy birthday. But at least he was ordering from the Italian place they liked. It was where they had had their first date. It had been pretty uptight back then but was pretty laxed now. (Y/n) couldn’t help but laugh at the memory of Dean in his skinny tie and a wrinkled shirt.

After some happy birthdays from her co-workers, and her best friend brought her a cupcake and a smile, (Y/n) finally got to go home. She got a dress from her closet and changed. Nothing too fancy, because she wasn’t staying, but nothing that would make the host look down his nose at her when she went to pick up the food. Some of the hosts and wait staff knew them very well and would joke with them, but there were a couple that were very rude to them. That’s why they ordered to go more than eating at the place.

“Here we go.” (Y/n) sighed as she pulled up into a parking spot and got out. A couple of the cars in the parking lot seemed familiar, but she didn’t think any of it. She made her way in.

“Oh, Mrs. Winchester!” The young boy who was acting as the host that night said with a smile. “You’re here! Good!”

“Uh yeah. My husband put an order in.” She told him. The boy nodded.

“Come with me.” He told her. (Y/n) was confused. Since when did she have to leave the front host area to pick up to go food? She followed him towards the party room, confused as he opened the door.

“Surprise!” A group of people said. She saw her brother-in-law, Sam and his girlfriend Jessica. She saw family and friends and there were presents and cake. (Y/n) looked around.

“What is all this?” She asked, confused. She heard panting then and looked to see Dean running up to them.

In a wrinkled white shirt and a skinny tie.

“Sorry I’m late,” he said. “It took me forever to find the tie.” He smiled at (Y/n). “Happy birthday babe.”

“Dean…” (Y/n) said. “What is all this?”

“Well, I know you’re not big on your birthday, but I wanted to do something nice for you.” He gave her a shy smile. “And then mom and Sam got whiff of it and wouldn’t let me live it down if they weren’t invited, and…” She stopped him from rambling by kissing him.

“Dean, this is perfect.” She said. “And I thought I threw this away.” She played with the tie he was wearing.

“I ordered it on eBay and had it in the car, but I couldn’t find it.” He chuckled. “I was worried you found it and threw it away.” (Y/n) laughed and kissed him again. “We ordered your favorite for a family style meal. Well, a couple of entrees at least. They’re on their way.”

“You guys are all so good to me.” (Y/n) said, holding Dean’s hand. She leaned over to Dean and whispered in his ear. “And later, I’ll be good to you.” Dean smiled and led her to her seat. They ate and made conversation. Cake was passed out and presents were open.

For the first time in many years, (Y/n) didn’t hate celebrating her birthday.

The End

Forever Tags: @anathewierdo @dekahg @marvel-af @feelmyroarrrr  @nanie5 @imboredsueme @gemini0410 @aiaranradnay @babypink224221 @mogaruke @xxwarhawk @sandlee44 @shatteredabby @caswinchester2000 @supernaturalwincestsblog @lauravic

Dean Winchester/Jensen Ackles Tags: @luciathewinchestergirl @sheris532 @bobasheebaby @bella-ca @akshi8278 @queenslandlover-93 @screechingartisancashbailiff @strab0 @maaryisafangirl @deathofmissjackson @hellabrothers

Supernatural Tags:  @bandobsession98 @mrsdeanfuckingwinchester @fangirlsencyclopaediaofweirdness @ilovetardis @missihart23 @cloudyskylines @flamencodiva @sams-serialkiller-fetish @theas-bedtime-stories @huntingfreewill @ocholove

#dean #dean winchester #dean x reader #dean winchester x reader #reader #reader insert #fanfiction #supernatural #jensen ackles #happy birthday

[swiftpng]

❥ — get to know me task.

“I wanna be defined by the things that I love. Not the things I hate, not the things I'm afraid of, the things that haunt me in the middle of the night. I just think that you are what you love.”

tw: mentions of cancer, food, sexual assault. 

does your celebrity have any nicknames? She does indeed have a few nicknames. Her brother calls her Teffy, but her friends call her anything from T, Tay, T Swift, T Swizzle, or Tay Tay. Though, she’ll admit she thinks Tay Tay makes her feel like she’s twelve years old. A select few will call her a snake, but Taylor wears that nickname like it’s a badge of honor. 

is there a certain smell that takes your celebrity back to their childhood, really remind them of ‘back home’? The smell of fresh snow on the ground always brings back nostalgic memories for Taylor, because it reminds her of when she was a little girl. Her favorite days were when school was called off and she would play around on her family’s Christmas tree farm with her brother, playing make believe.   

what would you say is your celebrity’s most prominent physical feature? Definitely her cheekbones. She has very defined cheekbones that are noticeable when she’s smiling. But… she also has very long legs that she loves to show off. She used to hate being so lanky and tall, and just wanted to blend in but now she’s more than happy to slip on a pair of high heels and show off her toned legs that she worked so hard for. 

would you say that your celebrity leads with their heart or their head? do their emotions get the best of them, or are they controlled? A mix of both, definitely. From a career/business perspective, she leads with her head with every decision that she makes. Taylor holds a lot of determination. She always finishes whatever she sets her mind to. There’s no stopping her, no matter what it comes to. Before she got signed, she performed at open mic nights and various community talent shows almost every weekend. It’s how she actually got discovered by her former label, Big Red Machine. And even before that, she got signed by another label, RCA, when she was a pre-teen but decided to risk everything and walk away because she knew she wasn’t going to be happy there if she stayed. Whenever an A&R guy would tell her his opinion, she would stand her ground and do what she wanted to do. There’s been times when her heart gets the best of her and she winds up doing something spontaneous like writing a letter to Apple about paying artists fairly. And her heart is definitely what leads her in love and relationships. It doesn’t take much for Taylor to get attached to people. Although she has been more careful about wearing her heart on her sleeve these days, she still does get attached way too easily. She gets invested in her friends’ emotions, treats fans like family, and worries about individuals day in and day out even if they aren’t thinking of her. She tries to get to know someone before jumping into a relationship with them, but sometimes her heart gets in the way and she jumps in without looking. Most of the time she has her emotions on lock because she knows there’s nothing worse than a screaming match about who can scream the loudest, so she tries to speak in a neutral tone when she’s in an argument. When she was younger, she used to play dangerously along the lines of gaslighting herself because she didn’t know if what she was feeling was valid or not. She used to have a tendency to forget that she's allowed to express how she feels. She had tried one-too-many times to suppress any sadness or anger. She could never remember that it is okay to feel how she feels and focus on her issues. She used to blindly disregard herself, but after everything that’s happened in her life she needed to learn and program it in her brain that she is valid. Taylor is someone who freezes when she’s feeling something that makes her uncomfortable, and then a few minutes later she knows how she feels. In the moment, though, she has a whole conversation with herself on whether she’s overreacting or if she’s perfectly valid for feeling the way she does. Before, she would either say the exact thing on her mind, or she would stay silent and then go over what she wanted to say when she had the chance at a later time. As she’s gotten older, she’s been able to say how she feels in a way that doesn’t feel combative or like she’s trying to start something unnecessary. Now, she’s very straightforward. If she feels a certain way, she lets it be known, regardless of the consequences that might arise from it. This is in every aspect of her life, not just petty things. If she’s interested in someone romantically, she’ll make it obvious without any regrets or reservations. Plus, when she’s feeling something intense like heartbreak or happiness, she writes about it in a poem, a song, or her journal. She gets through everything by writing about her feelings, and it helps her process them by doing that.

is there anything special or unique about any of your celebrity’s names? were they named after anyone? did the name have specific inspiration? Taylor Alison Swift is a pretty simple name, but it holds a lot of meaning. Taylor, her first name, comes from the legendary James Taylor. Her parents raised her on his music, so it’s cool to her that she’s named after someone who shaped her artistry. And getting to perform with him a couple of times means a lot to her. Taylor gets her middle name from her aunt Alison, and lastly, her last name is Swift. A name she got from her dad, of course.

what makes your celebrity feel insecure? Award shows or performing in front of people who will judge her for her live performances. While she knows she’s not the best vocalist in the industry and has not sought out to be the best singer of all time, she still wants to give her all when she’s performing and will overthink all of her performances before, during, and after them. She’s her own biggest critic and knows that she can improve with each performance that she does. Whenever she hears herself miss a note or forget the lyrics, she’ll tear herself apart and will obsess over it. She’ll put on a mask and give thanks whenever someone says she did fine, but deep down she’ll think about it until her next performance.

does your celebrity have any tattoos or piercings? Tattoos, no. When she was a teenager she really wanted to get a small heart tattooed on her foot, but her dad influenced her against it. She’s happy she listened to her dad. Piercings, yes. She has her two earlobes pierced, but she doesn’t have anything else on her body pierced. Even though she has no tattoos and minimal piercings, she thinks they’re extremely cool and an awesome way for self expression.

got any pets? if your celebrity has pets, tell a little bit about them; if not, what kind of pet would they like to have, or why don’t they have any? She does have pets! Three cats to be exact. While growing up, Taylor had her fair share of pets, and most of them were dogs. It wasn’t until she was in her early twenties that she got her first cat, Meredith, who is named after the iconic Meredith Grey from Grey’s Anatomy. The second cat she has is Olivia Benson, who is named after Olivia Benson from Law & Order: SVU. Those two are both Scottish fold cats. The most recent cat that Taylor adopted is Benjamin Button, named after the F. Scott Fitzgerald short story. Benji is the one she fell in love with at first sight after meeting him during her Me! shoot. Meredith is a bit snooty and has an attitude, but when she likes you she’ll let you pet her and cuddle her for as long as she lets you. Olivia just wants you to love her, while Benji doesn’t care as long as he has your attention. Meredith is coordinated and sophisticated but loves you fiercely when she decides to. Olivia walks into walls, drools, and flops around, but is ready to love you at first sight. Benji is a mix between the two. He loves to have his own space, but he also loves to be held like a baby and treated like a king.

what does it take for someone to be ‘unlikable’ to your celebrity? what’s the final straw that makes them give up on someone? For Taylor, she judges people mostly on their moral code. The people she wants in her life are people who have and regularly exercise loyalty, empathy, understanding, honesty, trust, and open communication. If you betray your friend, talk about them badly when they’re not around, degrade them for any reason, or talk down to them, she has no interest in keeping you in her life. She’s been known to give second chances to people who never deserved them, and it bit her in the ass. She can’t stand when people use or take advantage of their so called friends. If you’re in her life, it means you both have a mutual respect of one another. 

how would you describe your celebrity’s sense of style? Taylor has always been a person who loves to experiment with fashion. For her, it’s a form of self expression and she loves to represent herself through it. Her style isn't limited to one thing, it’s actually pretty much all over the place. Some days she'll wear pastel colors or all black, or a mix of color. It really just depends on how she feels during the day. In addition to that, she loves to go through phases. She went from cowboy boots to Oxfords to high heels. She went through the phase of loving vintage dresses to the phase of loving crop tops. She may not always top the best dressed lists every week, but she loves to wear what she thinks is cute and fun and shows her style. When it comes to performing, she likes to wear outfits that are easy to perform in. Taylor's stage outfits are generally very short and shiny, so it's easy to dance in. There’s some skin showing, but not too much. Over the years, her main collaborators for stage outfits have been designer Jessica Jones, along with her main stylist Joseph Cassell. 

what is the most positive and supportive relationship that your celebrity has in their life? Her mom. Taylor’s mother is her best friend, and she tells her everything. They talk every day and see each other almost every day. Taylor’s mom has seen and heard it all, whether it’d be about a break up, a career setback, or just how her day is going, she knows it all. Taylor’s mom is like her personal therapist, and she’d be lost without her. Her mom is her everything. A few years ago, her mom was diagnosed with cancer. Taylor was ready to give everything up and stay with her mom. In fact, she insisted, but her mom’s insistence that she go chase her dreams and tour around the world was stronger. She is scared that something will go terribly wrong, and suddenly the cancer will multiply a lot faster and take over her mom’s body, while she’s somewhere else in the world. Taylor’s priorities have changed a lot through the years, which is why she’s been spending more time with her family rather than doing year long tours. She wants to take advantage of all the time she has with her mom while she’s able to. She’s just so grateful for her support and knows that not everyone has a strong bond to their mom like she has with hers.

how does your celebrity see themselves vs. how others see them? When Taylor looks into the mirror or thinks about how she sees herself, she sees a woman doing what she loves. A woman who is happiest when she’s on stage. A woman who is most at peace when she’s writing, and most alive when she’s performing. A woman who’d do anything for her fans, and still can’t believe she has fans. A woman who wants to change the world. A small town girl who wants to inspire at least one person who’s struggling, because if she can make it this far, so can they. She thinks of herself as someone who holds onto hope. Even when she’s unhappy, she does all she can to prevent others around her to feel the same. She’s an open optimist but a closeted cynic. She doesn’t always know what she wants but she knows what she needs. She’s a woman who sees the beauty in all of the little things. She loves to love, and she has a lot of it to give away. She appreciates all the little favors and remembers every single polite thing someone has ever done for her. She forgives (most of the time) but never forgets; a strong believer in a moral code. She’s filled with affection and passion. She does her best to be as impartial as possible, just wanting the best for everyone no matter the cost. She puts others first, and forgets that she too could use the help of others. She’s the calm after the storm or the storm herself. She has the potential to be so much more than she sees, but she’s clouded by her own insecurities, and doesn’t know how to get rid of them. She’s very aware of how others see her. They may paint her out to be a manipulator, a liar, and a bitch but she knows how the people she loves see her. She knows that she’s not the conniving woman that most people think she is, and hopes that people can see who she truly is. She’s someone who loves with all of her heart and is fiercely loyal to her friends and family. While others may see her as someone who loves feuds and drama, Taylor thinks of herself as just someone who stands her ground and doesn’t take shit from anyone. Love her or hate her, you can’t deny that she’s a lover and someone who feels with everything in her. Mostly, she wants to be thought of as being a kind person, someone who is trying to see the best in other people. She wants people to know she is really trying in everything and anything she does, and she wants to be a bright and glowing presence in someone’s life.

did your celebrity have a conventional upbringing and family life, or live life outside the box? Growing up, she had a very conventional life. She was born and raised in a small town in Pennsylvania, and she had a pleasant childhood there. It was a nice upbringing, and she wouldn't change it for the world. Her dad was a stockbroker while her mom stayed at home, and Taylor’s parents never had to worry about any financial issues. Once Taylor realized her dreams of being a singer-songwriter, her entire family packed up and moved to Tennessee. Even though she’s now spent most of her life away from Pennsylvania, she considers it her home state.  

education; how far did your celebrity go with it, and did it help them land where they are in life right now? She has an education all the way up to a high school diploma. She actually didn’t go to her graduation ceremony as she had an award show that night, so she had her diploma mailed to her. She’s been fortunate enough that she didn’t need to go to university since she started her career as a teen. Still, she sometimes wonders what it’d be like to go back to school and get a degree in something.

is your celebrity a planner, or into spontaneity? When it comes to her career and business ventures, she definitely plans everything and thinks about everything. Now, being able to own any new music that she makes, she feels like she’s able to record and release songs whenever she wants to. In her personal life, she loves spontaneous plans. Calling up a friend and just driving all night long or flying to a different country for a day and exploring it always sounds like a good time to Taylor.

introvert or extrovert? how has that hurt or helped them on their current life path? Extrovert all the way. Put her in a room with someone and she can guarantee you that she’ll be able to find a way to connect with them. She gets it from her dad since he’s a talker, too. Taylor’s never one to shy away from introducing herself to people and she loves meeting new people. It’s definitely helped her career because she’s been able to make herself relatable to her fans and build a connection with them. Her social skills have helped her make good (and sometimes bad) connections in the industry.

what is your celebrity’s outlook on love? do they believe in soulmates? love at first sight? monogamy? Taylor has way too many thoughts on love as a hopeless romantic, but she thinks it’s a terrifying risk that is completely worth it. And that stands true regardless of what kind of love it is. For her, love is one of the greatest, if not the greatest, things in this world. There’s nothing like love – the pure joy, happiness, just complete elation. Being on cloud nine is the best feeling in the world. And yes, love also has its down sides and they’re some of the hardest downs. When you crash and burn from love, it really hurts. It’s the most agonizing heart-wrenching pain, but the fact that you can feel that type of emotion is something so special, too. The fact that you cared so deeply about someone and someone cared that deeply about you is really special. Love is a very sacred thing to Taylor and one of her biggest wishes is that everyone in this world experiences it at least once. Because even when it sucks, love is such a beautiful thing and worth having and fighting for. Now when she thinks about romantic love, the first few words that come to mind are: golden, pure, respect, adoration, connection, empathy, light, indescribable. Love is the ultimate beauty in all its best forms, and romantic love is no exception. There is the first glance feeling, the breathlessness of state change. You think you’re fine by yourself and then they come and ruin everything. There is fear and worry but the instant you’re with the person you love? You let go (of your fears and your ghosts). It’s a breath of fresh air you didn’t know you needed. It’s like the feeling of rediscovering all of your favorite songs, again and again and again. It’s being enchanted at the first meeting and being enchanted forevermore. It’s not that your life will become a fairytale because it won’t. You’ll both have days when the world is dark and your minds are cruel and your soul aches. You’ll both make mistakes. You’ll both be human. But the feeling of golden warmth in your heart that you thought would fade away stays and makes itself at home. And they stay. And they love you, too, because they’re here for every part of you just as you are for every part of them. And it’s easier than you ever dreamt possible and it’s lighter than air and you’ll never know how you got so damn lucky. It’s golden, it’s pure, it’s respect, it’s adoration, it’s light, it’s indescribable. It’s love. That’s what love is to Taylor. Maybe it's because she reads too many romantic books and watches too many rom-coms, but that's what she fantasizes about. Does she believe in soulmates? To an extent, yes. She thinks that two people could be connected so deeply that no one else in the world could understand their bond like they do. It’s a cool concept to think telepathy is real and it exists between soulmates, platonic or otherwise. She thinks it’s fun to believe in things like fate and soulmates and all of those things that are guided by some invisible force greater than we as humans. She believes in love at first sight, but knows that that kind of love is most likely disguised as infatuation that slowly turns into love. Love requires a mutual, deep intimacy and understanding amongst all parties. It’s complex, and doesn’t just happen within a first sight.

who would your celebrity give their life for? Her family, for sure. The love they give her is unconditional and the moments she shares with them are always in her heart. Whether she’s laughing, crying, or whatever it may be, they’re what keeps her together. Her friends are also people she would give her life for. They’re another source of what keeps her together. Her friends back home (the ones she managed to keep over the years) and the ones she’s met through the industry are what made her days brighter despite the dark clouds that loomed over her head during a dark period in her life. She’s thankful for them every single day and for the new friends she hopes to make. When she went through the #taylorswiftisoverparty in 2016, she had a phase where she was extremely upset and kept thinking she didn’t have any friends left. But she was so wrong. She’d never been more wrong about anything. Selena, Blake, Ryan, along with the friends she’s made here in Bayview like Delta, Melissa, and Daisy have become more than friends and more like her family. It’s those people she’d do anything for and she knows are also there for her no matter what.

when it comes to forgive and forget, how fast is your celebrity to do either of those things? one over the other? or hold grudges forever? Over the years, she’s learned that you don’t have to forget and you don’t have to forgive to move on from something. You can move on from a situation without any of those things happening. She usually lets things go, but it’s always going to be there in the back of her mind as a reminder of what they’ve done to her. As for holding a grudge, it depends on the severity of the wrongdoing, most of the time she’s just relieved that the person revealed their true colors so she can go on without their negative presence in her life. The media has been known to spin a feud of hers into something of a spectacle, and paints her as someone who overreacts and doesn’t leave things be. In reality, it’s mostly the other party who can’t keep her name out of their mouth and she just lives her life peacefully. But if she has to defend herself then she will.

any certain spot in bayview that your celebrity goes to when they need to clear their mind, cheer themselves up, just get into a better mood? Bookends, definitely. Just being surrounded by books is an oasis for Taylor. Whenever she needs time to herself or needs to brighten up her day, she’ll pop over to the little bookstore, grab a bite to eat, and sit in one of the chairs with an old book in her hand. She frequents the place so much that she’s on a first name basis with all of the staff and they all know her order by heart. It’s one of her favorite little corners of Bayview.

who is your celebrity’s role model or hero? is there any specific reason for that, or are they just someone they look up to? Ethel Kennedy. She inspires Taylor to embrace the unpredictable side of life, to find delight in every new experience. Ethel herself has taught Taylor that to really live, you have to jump in, you have to take chances. You have to embrace the unpredictability of life instead of fearing it. Meeting Ethel herself was really one of the rare times Taylor has been starstruck, and getting to spend some time with her has been one of the biggest highlights of her life.

does your celebrity have any secrets? anything that they would absolutely hate for anyone to find out about them? Hm, Taylor would say there’s a lot that people don’t know about her, naturally, because she can’t talk to everyone that knows her name. However, a secret of hers would be that maybe that she’s not as put-together as she comes off. She’s noticed that a lot of people approach her with the assumption that she’s a well-rounded, deeply intellectual person with some strong grasp on the path of her life when she’s just another person trying to figure things out like anyone else. A bit boring, but true! But… we all have our demons, don’t we? Things that weigh us down, despite the optimism we may have. And one of her fears that she doesn’t want anyone to know is that she’s scared that she is going to end up all alone someday. Whether it’s romantically or platonically, Taylor is scared that she’ll never be good enough, or really that people will realize that she isn’t good enough and just leave her. She’s had it happen before, and she’s scared that all the noise in her life will make them leave one way or another. 

it’s a gala night and your celebrity has to dress up; are they way into it, or counting down the hours until they can put sweats back on? Taylor definitely loves to dress up for a night and get all glammed up, but she’ll pack an extra pair of shoes so she doesn’t have to worry about her feet hurting all night. There are times where she has to force herself to get the motivation to sit in a makeup chair and get ready, but she usually thinks it’s all worth it once the night is over.

when it comes to your celebrity’s love life, how do they feel about it? are they happy? Taylor’s notorious for loving love. It’s her brand, quite literally. If I could give an example of how Taylor feels about her love life, it would be equivalent to how Jenny Slate explains in her book when she says, “I am a lovely woman. Who will come into my kitchen and be hungry for me?” because Taylor wants love so much that she doesn’t know what to do with herself sometimes and she feels like it might not be in the cards for her. I always picture Taylor being like Lara Jean from the TATBILB series because she’s always been the girl who daydreams about finding ‘the one’, and what true love might really be. She feels too much and sometimes thinks that’s her vice. Despite all of this, though, she’s really, really happy with her love life. She has her friends, and finds romance in that. She loves her independence and isn’t going to sacrifice it for just anyone. If she does fall in love, the most important thing is that who ever she falls for has a special kind of connection with her. She wants to feel a spark, but creating a fire takes some time so she’ll wait. She has some patience. And honestly, it’s easy for her to fall for someone -- she can fall in love with anything. She falls in love with the way the sun shines into her room every morning, she falls in love with the flowers in the yard, the smell of fresh rain… she falls in love with the sound of people’s voices, their faces, their interests, just everything. Whoever she falls for has to put up with her just loving… everything. She’s probably in love with at least one quality about everyone. Taylor’s a lot to put up with, she loves easily and she falls harder. She can be intense, like, she’s never been that deep in love with someone, but she knows she can be. She trusts too easily and she ends up getting hurt a lot of the time. She just wants someone who’s in love with her mind, her goals, her ideas… she wants them to see her in their dreams like she would see them. She’s very, very happy with her love life, but God, does she want to know what being in an actual serious, committed relationship is like.

if your celebrity had to leave the house in a rush, what three things would they grab on their way out? (people and pets excluded!) Taylor doesn’t need much when she leaves the house. She carries around a handbag, which holds just about everything she needs for the day or even for the ten minutes to two hours she’s away from her house. She can’t leave without at least these three items in her bag, and it’s really the necessities that she tosses in there. The first thing in her bag is her Iphone and portable charger. Her phone holds everything. It’s not really in her bag as it’s more in the palm of her hand instead. She tends to waste a lot of her battery very quickly, so just in case she must charge her phone, she has her handy dandy charger at her disposal. She needs her journal and a few pens because unless her phone is unavailable to use to make a note of something or write down whatever muse she’s feeling, she has her handy dandy pen and paper to depend on when she needs it most. Lastly, she always holds on to a picture of her family. Somewhere in her bag she’d have a picture of her, her parents and her brother. She wouldn’t be where and who she is without her family’s love and support, and at the end of the day she loves them more than anything and is always thankful for their strong presence in her life. She likes to be reminded of who she is and where she came from because staying true to herself, although hard, is her number one goal.

does your celebrity have any bad habits or quirks that they just can’t kick, no matter how hard they try? Not taking care of herself would be the biggest bad habit she has had. It's hard for Taylor to accept that sometimes, she needs help. She truly is independent to a fault. She is used to taking care of others and helping them that she sometimes forgets about herself. She hates feeling like a burden to someone else and takes being independent to a whole other level. Over the years, she's learned to stay off of social media when she's in a bad mood and she's learned to only value the opinions of people she cares about. She's never been to therapy, and knows she probably should, but feels as if she doesn't need to because she has her mom to talk to. Ways she takes care of herself when she's feeling down would be lighting a new candle, reading some poetry, watching a TED Talk, or painting with her watercolors. Eating what she wants when she wants is also something she's learned to do, too. She used to use food as a coping mechanism. Whenever she felt like she didn't have control in her life, she would deprive herself of basic meals so could could feel some control. These days she's been better at eating what she wants without feeling guilty and has learned to have a healthy relationship with food. 

what are your celebrity’s thoughts on kids? do they want any in the future, if they don’t already have any? want more, if they do? When Taylor was younger, she used to dream of having that fantasy of a white picket fence with a family. Over the years, it’s changed a little bit. Whenever she thinks about bringing a child into this world, she worries about their privacy and how they would survive with people watching their every move. She can’t imagine having paparazzi following them around, trying to get a glimpse of them. She wants kids, for sure, but doesn’t want them to face unfair scrutiny or having cameras in their faces 24/7 just because one of their parents is “famous”. 

does your celebrity have a favorite room in their home? Probably her room because it’s the only place in the world where she can be comfortable. She loves spending her days in her room just watching TV and lounging around with her cats. If she’s decided to spend time in her room, she probably has ordered some type of comfort food like Chinese or pizza, put on a face mask with her hair tied up, done some online shopping, taken a nap or just lied down, listened to some vinyls – just anything that lets her breathe and relax. 

it’s a free day. completely, from morning until bed time – what would your celebrity like to spend it doing? Her perfect day would be spent with her family. She would have invited her family over to her house, letting them spend the night. In the morning, she would make them breakfast. She’d have them tour the town, and would take her mom antique shopping for a bit while her dad and brother have their own bonding time. They’d get lunch by the ocean, and then she would drive them around each neighborhood in Bayview. By dinner time, they would go out to eat somewhere in the Downtown area and then walk around the park. At the end of the day, they would go back to her house and watch a movie or play a game before they all retired to bed for the night. That sounds like a perfect day to Taylor.

to this day, what has been the hardest thing for your celebrity to come up against or overcome, whether personally or professionally? In the past thirty years Taylor has been through a lot, from a career point of view and a personal one. In her personal life, having to go to court in 2017 to face the man who sexually assaulted her was one of the hardest things Taylor has done. It was tough for her to do, and even though she spent many sleepless nights during that week, it was all worth getting the justice she deserved. From people mocking her about her body to not believing her side of the story, Taylor will never forget those who supported her during that whole ordeal. She's happy that more and more people are able to come forward with their stories despite the backlash they might get, and will always believe someone's story because she knows how hard it is to do. We all probably know what Taylor's hardest career obstacle was... the disaster of the 2016 Kimye incident. That whole year, especially that summer, was an emotional rollercoaster for Taylor and she learned so much from that experience. She was so, so scared that she wouldn't be able to make art anymore and that the 1989 era would be her last. Luckily, her fans stuck around and have always had her back. To Taylor, her fans are so important. They are the reason she's still making music to this day and the reason why she gets to present her songs to the world. As someone who has only ever dreamt of being able to share her art with others, the people who have really made it possible are the people who truly support her for it. Taylor's “fans” are more like friends, and friends to her are like family. They are people who’ve supported her for what she loves doing most and she can’t thank them enough for it.

ten years ago, did your celebrity ever think that they would be where they are now? are they happy with that spot in life? what do they hope to achieve yet in the future? At the beginning of the decade, Taylor was coming out of her teens and coming in to her twenties. If you told her that she would’ve released five albums, gone on four tours, won Album of the Year at the Grammys twice, moved to New York City, lose her curls and cut her hair short, been in more relationships that one hand couldn’t count, gotten a few cats, gone through one of the most humiliating things publicly, gone to court, and moved to Bayview all in the span of ten years, she would’ve laughed in your face. Despite all that has happened to her, she would take none of it back and is very happy with where she is in life. Taylor loves her life. Sure, there could be changes but other than that there’s nothing else she would want. She’s happy with the morals she grew up with, and happy with the people who’ve been kind to her and all of the lessons she’d learned over the years. The move to Bayview is a memory she wouldn’t trade for the world. She’s had the chance to travel and meet new people on the other side of the world. The chance to come to Bayview is a milestone in her life she would never trade. Sure, she still has issues with being away from her family, but by far it’s been one of the most amazing experiences in her life. If she didn't move to town, she wouldn’t have people she could connect to, she wouldn’t have met or befriended most of the people who lived here, and she wouldn’t know how to step out of her comfort zone and do things she never knew she needed to do. Bayview changed all of that. In the future, Taylor hopes to still be making albums, hopefully gaining back all of her masters or at least be done with re-recording all of her older albums. Maybe she’ll fall in love and raise a family of her own. Maybe she’ll write a novel about her life. Maybe she won’t be in Bayview still or maybe this is town is her forever home. The most important thing that matters to Taylor is being happy with whatever she’s doing, whoever she’s with and with herself. Because who knows what the future holds, y'know? Nothing else really matters as long as you love your life.

#( ❛ ░ ▌it’s my life so truth be told // tasks. #bviewtask #bview2019dec #wooo!!! done finally!! #also i didnt know she prerecorded her scd performance so we can say that she was still in nyc after the jingle bell ball

[belovedrival]

This week has kinda sucked

...but there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.

Work has been crazy, people hate each other more with every passing moment over political shit or cultural shit (here’s looking at yooouuuu Game of Thrones), and the weather switched from cold and wet early spring-ish to hello! Summer overnight.

THREE bridges into St. Louis were closed yesterday due to construction and an accident. It took over an hour to go nine miles.

I was almost in an accident. It shook me up, bad.

Covering for someone at work has been a okay-at-first-but-holy-cats-now-all-hell-has-broken-loose kind of thing.

I’m tired.

I was crazy stressed this afternoon and then got on the bus and did NOT relax because I read precisely the wrong Tumblr post at precisely the wrong time, and sort of lost my shit for about half an hour.

Last night at my writer’s group a wise friend said (regarding the breakdown of our national political discourse), “It’s hard to judge someone when they’re sitting across from you at the table.” I immediately wanted to frame that sentiment and apply it to my social media behavior.

Yeahhhh... I already screwed that up. 😑

It’s easy for me to be angry. It’s easy to read something and take it the wrong way, rather than trying to put the best construction on someone else’s words.

I fail at that. I fail a lot, and I fail hard.

Did I mention that Crazypants Family is legitimately suing Mister’s school?

Yeah, that’s happening too.

So this week hasn’t been great.

But there are bright spots.

This evening we drank after work and went to dinner at a local bar (one of the inspirations for the bar called Pedro’s in my Chelsie fic Managing Love). I watched a little Cardinals baseball, and felt better. ⚾️

My bestie high school friend and I texted back and forth. She laughed at me when I said I was drunk. (I was then, I’m not now.)

And then we got home and my dear friend K called. She, her husband J and their daughters will visit us on Memorial Day weekend. Mister and I are having another couple we know come over for a game day that Saturday, so more! People! To! Play! 😄

It’s been a looooooong time since we’ve seen them. I’ve missed them more than I realized. They’ve been way better friends than I deserved.

Other bright spots this week:

I ran into an old friend from the law firm where I used to work (the inspiration behind ML). She and I talked in front of Walgreens for twenty minutes on Tuesday.

L told me that the office manager at the firm had been fired the previous month.

It. was. about. fucking. time. !!!!!!!!!!!!! 🎉🍾🎉

The woman always had perrrrrrrfect hair, like she spent hours on it, and she’d regularly come into the office late. Like, ten o’clock. Or later. And unlike most other office managers, she didn’t have another significant job. She wasn’t a secretary or paralegal, etc. We used to wonder what in the hell she actually did. Meanwhile the rest of the staff worked like dogs. The firm should’ve gotten rid of her years ago.

(Obviously in ML, I wrote Elsie Hughes as the kind of office manager anyone would want to have, not the snooty-too-good-for-you one I dealt with for a decade.)

Other than gossip, it was good to see L. She’s one of those tell it like it is folks, and hasn’t changed much in fifteen years.

Good God, time flies.

Another bright spot:

Writing. Oh goodness, writing. First, actually posting a new update felt SO GOOD - even if it tore everyone to shreds, including me. It always gives me a lift to continue the story and to actually see what people think of it.

I did go to my real life writer’s group meeting on Wednesday. The thing I’ve been bringing there continues to get enthusiasm, and I’m always blown away by the talent other people have, too. It makes me step up my game.

And last but not least, solid travel plans were made to see family later this year. Mister is such a blessing to me - I was well on my way to getting drunk at six o’clock this evening, and told him that I was grateful he understood why I had to go see family - “some of whom are blood, and others who aren’t.”

He replied in his usual way, “You gotta go see your people, I know.”

I love that man.

Maybe this week didn’t suck so much after all.

#real life #stuff #work stuff #political stuff #failure stuff #traffic stuff #drinking stuff #friends stuff #mister #he’s the best

[porchwood]

I wish I could even begin to articulate how difficult things are in my life right now. I’ve admitted to depression in previous posts but that’s barely a fraction of the picture. In mid-December I lost my just-barely-sustaining-me job because my boss closed her bodywork practice, and if you live anywhere with seasonal traffic, you know that the off-season is the worst possible time to find work, especially if you’re in a tourism-fueled industry. I was able to cobble together two days a week each at two different places (a spa and a yoga studio) but traffic is still painfully slow and no matter what the law says, no one wants to pay their therapists if there aren’t clients coming in. I’ve been creeping by on about $250 a week at a time of year when it costs $300-400 a month to heat an apartment to 60 degrees. (That’s the lowest possible temp at which I don’t have to keep Lucky in a sweater. :/ I can’t begin to comprehend why propane is so inefficient.) Thankfully I have a roommate (and a good one) to help offset utilities, but unfortunately, I’m dealing with a lot more than that.

There was a glitch with the direct deposit at my second job and I only just received all my wages for the month of January, which will significantly help out for the moment, but that money would have been awfully nice to have for groceries (and heat bills) in January. I’m not starving by any means, but I’m truly living week-to-week and I can physically tell that I’m not getting enough protein (because meat is expensive, even for a bargain shopper).

Right after Christmas I had a terrifying episode of chest pain and wound up in the emergency room at 1am. (I don’t go to the hospital for anything, so that should tell you what a desperate situation this was.) The hospital experience was terrible to say the least, and about three weeks later I got a bill for $1,343 (and a subsequent smaller one for my chest x-ray), because my Obamacare policy covered nothing. (Let that sink in, okay? They “adjusted” the fee but covered no part. Of an ER visit - in-network, no less! - which is the end-all reason everyone tells you that you need health insurance.) I applied for financial assistance right away, which required exhaustive paperwork, only to be informed that they need my 2017 tax return (this was before I’d even received my W-2s) or they would automatically reject my application. Which means I now have to come up with a couple hundred dollars to have my taxes done in order to - wait for it - qualify for a payment plan. It’s pretty clear that I’m not going to receive any assistance or bill forgiveness (if your income isn’t below a particular number - and ironically, my 2016 income was - it’s an automatic rejection), but they won’t even let you have a payment plan (for a $1,343 bill) unless you send them gobs of paperwork demonstrating sufficient financial need.

Lucky’s separation anxiety is relentless and responding to nothing, and I spent the month of January making weekly 90-minute round trips to a veterinary acupuncturist, to the tune of $400+ (maxing out my credit cards in the hope that finally, this would help). Lucky hated the treatments (and I hated myself for putting her through them), her anxiety only got worse and the day before my birthday, the downstairs neighbors left a note implying that if I don’t put her in daycare (which is a whole other mess of a subject), they’ll report us to the landlord.

That night was the lowest I think I’ve ever come in my life. Thankfully, my sister must have picked up on this somehow because she called to chat for a little, but it was the first time I actually looked up the contact info for Lifeline (didn’t call but looked it up), and when my poor roommate finally got home I broke down in ugly tears and told her about something bad that happened to me a long time ago that I’ve never told anyone.

Right now I’m...coping. I guess that’s the only word for it. I’m eating, bathing, dressing, going to work, going outside, etc - and most importantly, taking care of Lucky, who is my literal lifeline. I’ve found one last vet to try and we’re going in tomorrow for a consult, but my roommate is dubious about the chances of success and concerned that the neighbors will flip that I’m not putting Lucky straight into a kennel this week. But right now the future boils down to two equally awful prospects:

1) I get Lucky vaccinated for bordetella and board her at the safest place I can find, to the tune of $20-30 a day (plus round-trip drives of about 30-40 mins twice a day), and try to function at work. There’s no way I can afford those rates, of course, and most of these places only take cash, so I’ll have to get another credit card to pay for living expenses while my wages go to daycare. Or I could look into getting a third job, but that would mean another day or two of daycare to pay for, so I wouldn’t be getting ahead, I’d be exhausted out of my mind, and I’d never see my little girl, who is not a young dog anymore.

2) I move permanently back to Nebraska (in stages, because there’s no way I can afford a U-Haul anytime soon) and continue to pay my half of rent and utilities as long as my roommate wants to stay here. (That was our arrangement last winter and remains the only fair thing to do, really, especially as subletting is forbidden.) My sister would take me in at her tiny house and probably let me stay rent-free, but now my aging father is back in Nebraska, and while my sister and I would buffer each other as much as possible, we’d be expected (read: pressured) to serve as caregivers to some extent, especially me, because I’m a massage therapist. And there aren’t a lot of resources to help you deal with an elderly narcissist. (Fun example: Dad ranted to my sister that he didn’t know why I moved to Maine right before he returned to Nebraska because, and I quote, “She only went to massage school so she could take care of me!” He also lamented to a friend - in front of my sister - that he’s not going to get any more grandchildren because my still-unmarried sister is about to turn 40. Which is a horrible thing to say in and of itself, but I don’t think it even occurred to him in the moment that his youngest child doesn’t have a reproductive system anymore and that the loss of it made her want to die.) Someday I might tell you about the rift with my parents, if I haven’t already - it’s not the aforementioned bad thing from my childhood, but it effectively means that I don’t have parents anymore, not in any kind of supportive sense.

Anyway, I’m scared and weary and hopeless and I hate the assumption that when someone isn’t engaging through social media or responding to messages that they’re self-centered, snooty, having too much fun to bother, etc. My life began to crumble four years ago and has continued at a relentless snowball-roll ever since without getting minutely better or even letting up a little, and I can’t swim a lick so I don’t know how I’m supposed to keep treading water indefinitely. And I don’t want to talk about it because even the nicest of those conversations start with “Are things getting any better?” and the answer is always, ALWAYS, “No.”

I don’t expect sympathy or support, because four years of relentless crap have taught me that the worse your life gets, the less people care. It becomes part of your identity to them (”Well, sounds like Elisabeth’s having some trouble again...”) and, I suspect, starts to paint you as a person who just can’t figure it out/get on in the real world, not someone who’s being subjected to an inordinate amount of bad fortune. I’ve had to fight tooth and nail just to survive these past four years, and if God and the world could agree that, just maybe, I finally deserve a little break, maybe I could stop subsisting and start rebuilding from the wreckage.

#personal #bad life stuff #thanks for listening #long post

[its-love-u-asshole]

Hello Adriana! I binge read all of Let My love and I just want to say that it is absolutely lovely!!! It hurt me in the best of ways and I just... I just want to lock Kuroo and Tsukki in a closet somewhere! Would you share some kurotsuki/terutsuki headcanons (or any of the couples)? Only if you're willing to of course, as the fic is still ongoing. I'm really excited for the next chapter and I'll be patiently waiting.

Ahh first off, thank you so much! This anon made my day and gave me the strength to finish up some of my assignments so bless you lol. I’m super excited whenever people ask about lml, it’s my favorite fic to write and I have so many headcanons about it skdjfn I’m really just flattered that you enjoyed it enough it send this ask

Minor spoilers under the cut:

Terutsukki

-Tsukki is Terushima’s first long-term relationship in years, before him he’s mostly had flings or one night stands. He’s not ashamed of that of course, but part of him does worry that Tsukki would think less of him if he found out, since some people aren’t as open minded

-Terushima really respects Tsukki though for how smart and non-judgmental he’s been so far, and enjoys spending time with him

-Romantic intentions or not, Terushima really feels that Tsukki listens to him when he needs it most, and had Tsukki been in a relationship when they’d first met, they still would’ve gone on to be really good friends

-before Tsukki met Kuroo, he was content with dating Terushima, but he never really has the urge to be overly affectionate or physical with him; it’s not in a disgusted way, it’s just that the usual passion isn’t there, though they’ve had sex a few times

-Their relationship is actually fairly nice for both of them though, they’re super different people and often clash, but they admire each other’s qualities, especially if they themselves lack some of those traits that the other has

-Terushima likes having a partner he can pamper and show off, while Tsukki values someone who he can work with to achieve their goals and someone he can cherish in private

-one of their first dates involved them going to a nice restaurant, but they can’t manage to get a reservation and the manager is snooty as hell, so instead they pretend to get engaged in the restaurant’s lobby and totally get free food out of it. It’s a fun time.

-Terushima doesn’t have a lot of experience with love or what it’s like to fall in love, but he does know that he’s grateful that Tsukki is in his life

Kurotsuki

-when they first meet in the library, Tsukki also feels the weird pull (not just Kuroo), and he can’t help but think of Kuroo all the way up until he falls asleep

-Tsukki looks up to Kuroo and is super thankful for him, despite how much he roasts him lol. For Tsukki, finding someone who doesn’t exhaust him is rare and something he appreciates

-Kuroo and Tsukki are relatively private individuals but around each other they over share way too much lmao they can’t fucking help it, by the end of week one, Tsukki knows Kuroo’s thoughts on movies, books, politics, you name it

-of course, the subject of family hardly comes up, but wow, wouldn’t that have saved them some awkwardness huh?

-Tsukki always finds excuses to restock books in rows near Kuroo, just so they can talk. He’d never admit this.

-They both love horror movies and one day when it’s super slow, they stream some shitty ones on Kuroo’s laptop

-Kuroo’s jokes and puns are fucking terrible but Tsukki remembers every single one

-Kuroo is super observant of Tsukki’s behaviors and after talking to him for a while, becomes familiar with the things which make Tsukki happy or uncomfortable

-Tsukki also sees through Kuroo quite easily, and doesn’t get why he feels the need to act so confident even when he’s clearly having a bad day

-the thirst is real but Tsukki is so astonished by it initially that he just pushes it away and acts like he imagines it

-they never want to cross the line of actually going out together outside of the library/coffee shops, but they always speak in hypotheticals. “if we ever went to an amusement park, we’d have to go on this…” “if we ever go to the movies, we need to see this director” “I’d kick your ass at mini golf, just pick a date and we’ll go”

-they know deep down it’s probably not good for them to do it but their imagination is kinda all they have so whatever

-Kuroo hides notes for Tsukki in his favorite books, because he knows when Tsukki is bored the blond rereads the same novels over and over

-Tsukki recommends books to Kuroo and in return he reads all of Kuroo’s science articles and asks questions about what he doesn’t understand

Other

-I’m sorry but I just have to say that Semishira is the cutest married couple ever okay, they’re fucking saltmates and they’re probably worse than kyouhaba when it comes to group gossip

-Semi is a famous volleyball player and Shirabu retired after an injury, but he enjoys working from home and travelling around the world with Semi

-Semi is super whipped and everyone makes fun of him, but honestly Shirabu would die for him so it’s even

-Semi always scolds Shirabu for roasting people but when they’re all alone they hella high five each other bc damn that shit was savage, and Semi is proud

-Though Semi knew Shirabu since he was in diapers, they didn’t develop feelings for each other until high school, and it was super embarrassing for both of them

-Everyone still gives them shit for it

-The group knows Yachi from college but she may as well have been there from the beginning, she’s their anxious angel. In Uni, they’d always order food for her or call the office whenever she felt too nervous, but make no mistake, if it gets to a breaking point, she will put her foot down, and they’re all weak as fuck to her

-Yachi’s “I’m disappointed in you” face is a force to be reckoned with

-She can even reign in Oikawa when he’s having a dramatic episode ok? She’s fucking hardcore, she totally is the first person he called when he was first getting to know Iwaizumi

-Yachi loves all her dumb boys, it’s law

-Kuroo and Terushima are the ones who conspired back in high school to push Kyoutani and Yahaba together after years of pining

-Kyoutani’s parents were never home when he was little so the group always had sleepovers, and Kyoutani and Yahaba always seemed to mysteriously disappear…

-Kuroo is the nerd of the group and the group never understood why everyone thought he was a suave bad boy in high school, since Kuroo spent half his time buried in books

Honestly there’s so much more…I haven’t scratched the surface of iwaoi and their relationship with Suga, but anymore and I feel like I’d be going overboard LOL but I hope you enjoyed these! I’m also tagging @rhealmobsidi bc maybe she’d be interested? 

Thanks again! Asks like this are tons of fun ^^ 

#ask #asks #anon #adricanons #kurotsuki #thank you! #god this made me wanna write lol

[space-age-bachelor]

Instead of Flying Off, He’ll Stay

Rafael Barba/Dominick “Sonny” Carisi Jr.

Sonny's life was not a Hallmark movie. He just had to get Barba to fall in love with him before Christmas Eve.

Thanks to @me-ladie for beta reading 

For @richardgoranski for being an incredible friend and being there for me

[AO3]

Rafael Barba loved Christmas. It had always been a family holiday to him, not the commercialized monstrosity that it had become. He’d never really gotten the concept of Santa Claus, so he never sent a list or went to Macy’s. But every year on Christmas Eve, after his mother read him Twas the Night Before Christmas , he would stare out the window at the direction he believed to be North and make a wish.

It had been years since he had done that and it was a little less than a month away from Christmas and carols had been playing in all of the stores he passed on the walk home from his mother’s Thanksgiving dinner. He’d stopped believing in Santa when he was eleven and his knees cracked when he lowered himself to the floor, still he faced North and hoped for a Christmas miracle.

He couldn’t spend Christmas alone for another year. He didn’t want to go to bed eight thirty watching old claymation movies while his coworkers thought he was off on some extravagant get away. He wanted someone to whisper “Merry Christmas” to over mugs of hot chocolate and kiss under the mistletoe, he’d always wanted to do that.

Once he thought his symbolic wish out thoroughly, he stood and chuckled to himself. The whole exercise had been ridiculous, but part of him deep down still believed in magic. It allowed him to sleep a little easier and wake up a little lighter.

The day after Thanksgiving was always spent decorating for Christmas. Bella would pull out the boxes she had in storage (this year, in her attic since she and Tommy decided to bite the bullet and get a real house), and Sonny would always end up doing most of the actual decorating. It was his burden to bear, being the only one who could string lights with a swish of his wrist.

“Bella,” he glared at her as he pulled out the seventh new pack of lights from her shopping bag, “I can’t do this. Not alone without drawing any attention to myself.” He let them all fall into his lap, “Do you have to be seen from space? Afraid Dad won’t be able to find your new roof?”

She rolled her eyes and pulled up a pinterest board on her iPad, scrolling through pages upon pages of our door light design and “the perfect Christmas lawn.” They all looked like something out of that dumb live action Grinch movie.

“I wanna beat that bitch Cynthia. She thinks she’s so much better because her precious Annabell was born in wedlock,” She flipped her hair and added a snooty voice before breaking into a groan. “She doesn’t even realize her perfect Carl is cheating on her with Todd from the school board.”

“That’s the Christmas spirit.” He sighed, not actually caring. That bitch had insulted his niece and made his sister feel inadequate, they were going to crush her. “Alright but, I can’t do all of this my way without being seen. It’s not like I can kill your street lights and with this many lights someone is bound to see me. Even at 3 am.”

They had a small staring contest. Bella matching his gaze with everything she had.

He blinked first.

A blinding grin spread across her face. “So when are we gonna start Nicky?” She winked at the nickname, the one that made him sound like some younger version of their father. “I’ve got the decorations, you’ve got that Christmas magic. Let’s kick a soccer mom’s zumba tight ass.”

“I’ll do it, but only the second floor. Everything else outside is done by hand.” He dropped all of the lights back into the plastic bag. “And you have to listen to me bitch about Dad for as long as I want.”

She clapped excitedly. She was a gossip by nature and Sonny had just offered her exactly what she wanted. He didn’t mind as long as she wasn’t going to try and convince him to do her whole yard. “Great! You can finally tell me what the Big Man said last night. I haven't seen you that upset since Queens SVU.”

Sonny’s mood darkened, he hadn’t planned on bringing that up. He was just going to go on about how their father saw his work and even his law degree as a waist and a distraction. It should have been obvious that Bella would want to know why he ducked out of Thanksgiving before the dessert had even touched the table.

“While we do the interior. It’s Gabby’s first Christmas in the new house and I wanna make it special.” Bella opened the first bin and Sonny got to work.

Decorating was an art that Sonny considered himself particularly gifted at, it came with the territory of who he was. When stringing lights was as easy as tracing the square of Bella’s kitchen window, it was hard not to be an expert.

He could lose himself in the feeling of it. A flick of his wrist and a garland covered the arch between the dining room and living room. It sent his heart racing, as if there was electricity flowing through him and extending out to the decorations. They were just an extension of himself.

Bella kept warning him to take it easy not go so fast. She only knew how drained he used to get after half an hour of this, but after last night he could do the whole house without breaking a sweat. It made the rush he got feel cheapened somehow. He just hoped he’d be able to enjoy the place, gleaming like the city skyline, after he got everything off his chest.

“Looks great, Sonny.” She squeezed his arm and pressed a cup of freshly made hot chocolate into his hands. “Don’t worry about the rest right now. Come on and sit down.”

She gently guided him over to the couch and practically pushed him down onto it. “I don’t want you passing out before we get some proper storytelling going.”

“I don’t pass out-”

“Please,” She scoffed setting herself down next to him, “You always act like you just gave blood. ‘Oh,’” She moaned doing a terrible impression of him even though they had the same accent. “‘Just let me sit here and eat my cookie and drink my apple juice. I’m so weak.’”

It got a chuckle out of him, “Well, no more of that, I’m getting stronger-” He froze. Two days ago, it had just been a nice thing that he couldn’t explain. He winced at his own slip.

“Sonny, what’s wrong?” She grabbed his shoulder, suddenly concerned.

“It’s not your fault. It’s just…” He sighed, he really did want to talk about this. He was having a hard time dealing with it on his own and needed the support. It was just difficult to say. “Dad wants to retire after this year.”

Her eyes widened. It would’ve been comical under different circumstances. “Holy shit, you… he needs you to…” She took a deep swig of her hot chocolate, “Shit.”

He nodded and took his own sip, not having anything to really say to it.

“Alright, alright...alright, tell me exactly what he said.”

“He didn’t say much, just asked me to take over next Christmas.” He shrugged, “I tried to tell him I didn’t want to, but he gave me that whole ‘first son’ thing-- which is bullshit by the way, if Jenny McCarthy could do it--”

She raised a hand to stop it. “T, Gigi, and I all don’t want anything to do with it. So that wouldn’t matter. Dad would cave if we would.”

“I know.” Another sip of cocoa. “I wish you did because he tore my life apart. I have one friend, I’m not content with my job, I haven’t dated anyone in almost five years. I just stood there as he laid out why nobody would really miss me if I picked up and left.”

“I’d miss you.”

He smiled softly, “Thanks, Bells, but you could still visit. The only person who sorta counts is Amanda and Dad would rather I tell her than force him to work another year.”

She flopped backwards so she was staring up at the ceiling, “Mr. Tradition probably thinks you two are going to get together.”

Sonny was silent for a long time, running through all the ways to phrase his next sentence. He wouldn’t look her in the eyes when he finally decided on what to say. “That was actually my only way out of it. Dad says he’ll back off if I can have a stable relationship by Christmas. Then leaving wouldn’t just be my decision.”

“You can’t just get a girl pregnant.”

A laugh was startled out of him, “Nope, still gay and still single.”

Her “scheme smirk” was firmly in place when she sprung back up, “Well, you’re already in love with someone. So you just have until Christmas to get Mr. Barba to fall in love with you.”

“I’m not in love with Barba.” The redness of his cheeks didn’t help the lie. “Besides, we’re not that kind of close and I’m not convinced that he doesn’t hate me. You don’t go from that to love in a month.”

She swatted his arm. “He doesn’t hate you. It’s impossible to hate you. Plus, you can just use your Christmas powers to charm him.” She wiggled her fingers in his face, barely containing her laughter.

“You know, it doesn't work like that.” He insisted, retaliating as if they still were children and pinning her back on the couch. “You really think Barba’s my best bet?”

She shrugged as well as she could, “You’re gay and your only friend is a girl. I mean, unless you wanna download Grindr and try your luck.”

“Hey, Barba,” Sonny kept rubbing his hands on his pants or the bottom of his jacket. He was nervous sweating and on the off chance he had to actually touch the other man, he wanted them to be at least somewhat dry. “Are you free tomorrow night?”

The prosecutor stopped, but looked more confused than anything else, “Depends upon what you’re suggesting.”

“I have a new recipe I wanna test out.” He was lying. That was a flat out lie, but he wasn’t brave enough to just ask him out. “So dinner tomorrow night?”

“So, I your new Guinea Pig?” The corner of his mouth quirked up, “Alright, I could be ready by eight.”

Sonny didn’t react for a moment before a smile split his face. He hadn’t expected this to work. “Perfect! I’ll have time to make dessert as well.”

He nodded, “I’ll see you then, Carisi.” With that, he turned and left.

Sonny half stumbled back to his desk, causing Amanda to raise an eyebrow, “What happened?”

“I’ll tell you tonight.” He said, trying not to turn back and watch the door Barba just left through. Now he just had to figure out which recipe Barba would like the best.

“So you need me to watch Holly for just no reason?” Amanda loved watching Holly. Sure, she was huge and drooled all over the furniture, but she was sweet and was glad to just be a pillow or space heater, “Are you sure there isn’t a reason?”

He sighed, if his plan worked out he’d have to tell her at some point. “I have a date and I don’t want Holly getting over excited and scare him away.” She was the sweetest, but she got over enthusiastic when new people came over. “A lot went into this.”

She arched an eyebrow, “Really? Anyone I know? Because the only person I’ve seen you fawn over is-” Her mouth fell open in realization. “No….You finally asked Barba out? And you’re skipping straight to bringing him home?”

“Oh my god,” He groaned, the noise drawing his dog over to rest her head on his lap. “I’m making him dinner, and I’m not even sure he realized that I was asking him on a date. He might be straight.”

“He’s just as smitten as you are and just as bad at hiding it.” She said moving closer so they both had access to Holly.

They sat there for some time, ABC Family playing through a rotation of Christmas movies that seemed to be compose of Elf and Christmas Vacation, exclusively. Right before Clark Griswold officially lost it, Amanda passed out using Holly’s stomach as a pillow. Sonny had done it enough times to admit that it was one of the reasons he had gotten a Newfoundland. Of course, once Amanda was finally asleep at a reasonable time, Jesse started crying.

She raised her head slightly before dropping it back down, “She wants her Uncle Sonny.”

He laughed and went to go take care of his goddaughter. “Hey, Baby.” He cooed bending down to lift her.

His heart always melted when he held her, her little hands clutching at the collar of his shirt. He wanted to have that with his own kids at some point with a child of his own. Barba probably wouldn’t want kids, he didn’t seem like the type. But they’d cross that bridge if they ever actually made it there.

Jesse’s crying wouldn’t subside, so he pulled out a little trick he would do for Gabby when ever she got fussy.

He felt the familiar spark in his fingertips and the energy that flooded his chest making him feel whole and energized. He pulled a stuffed puppy out from behind his back.

They toy whined at Jesse and licked the tear tracks that stained her cheeks until the wailing turned into giggling and squeals of glee. The magic to create the little puppy might have given him a rush of joy, but he sound of Jesse’s laughter overwhelmed him with happiness.

“Sonny, how do you always-”

He dropped the toy when he heard Amanda’s voice. It immediately tried to get back up, scratching at his leg with blue cotton paws and yipping at him to demand attention. Without even thinking he snapped his fingers and it fell limp as if it were always just a normal plushie.

Her eyes were bugging out of her skull as she stared down at the offending object. Most people, well adults, didn’t react well when confronted with magic. They lacked the imagination to really comprehend what was happening and lashed out at him because of it. He just hoped Amanda would at least hear him out-

“I fucking knew it!” She cheered and his mind went blank. “You’re too good with kids, and you’re ridiculously lucky, and you know things about people that you couldn’t possibly know, and your cookies.”

He nodded, slowly coming back to himself, “Uh, yeah, my cookies are magic.” It came with the territory of being who he was. He put Jesse back into her crib, leaning down to pick up her new toy. Once she was tucked in, he snapped again and the puppy yawned, padding over and curling up against her side. It would help sooth her if she woke up again.

He turned back to Amanda, “Come on, I’ll explain everything.”

Amanda took it well, after she laughed at the fact that Sonny’s future hinged on whether or not he could get Barba to fall in love with him by Christmas, and admit it. He could worry about the actual admission later, his first goal was to get Barba to agree to a second date.

He wished his particular brand of magic applied to any kind of food. Sure his desserts were always perfect no matter what they were, so he had that going for him, but for an average everyday dinner, he had to rely on his own talent and experience. His own skill wasn’t something to be scoffed at though, so he thought it would be okay.

Barba had never had his cooking anyway, so if he was having an off day he could impress him even more next time. The dessert was all he really needed to get to phase two of Bella’s plan.

“So what are we having?” Barba had come straight from work but he immediately took off his jacket. It made him look softer, and comfortable in Sonny’s home. “I haven’t eaten in hours so it had better be good.”

He laughed leading him through to the kitchen, “It’s nothing special, just a new kind of pizza dough I’d been meaning to try and sugar cookies with a new flavor of icing.” It was nice finishing up dinner and being able to look over to the island to see Barba sitting there.

“I didn’t realize dessert was going to be cookies. I would’ve made this my cheat day.”

Sonny rolled his eyes, “Eating healthy keeps you fit, eating well keeps you sane.” He pulled out the wine, “Have some cookies and don’t worry about a diet, which you don’t need by the way.”

“Dinner and compliments? If I didn’t know any better, I’d think this was a date.”

His heart dropped to his feet. He knew this was a possibility, but that didn’t stop his disappointment from showing, or Barba’s surprise at seeing it. This had always been the hard part when he imagined this scenario in his head, having to explain what had been lost in translation.

“Oh, I thought this was just a friendly dinner.” Barba was flushed and started messing with his tie. He only did that when he was nervous. “I know you do things like this with Liv and Amanda. So I assumed…”

“No, it’s fine.” He forced a smile and continued setting the table. The cheerful Christmas plates didn’t do much for his mood though. “We’re friends, right? This could just be a fun friend dinner. That is,” he took a deep breath and a leap of faith, “if you want it to be.”

A slow smile spread across the prosecutors face as he reached for his glass, “No, I think this would be the perfect first date. I mean, as long as those cookies are as good as Liv says they are.”

“Oh, trust me, they’re better.”

“Sonny, this is great!” Bella cheered, the shrill voice loud enough that Holly was reacting to it from across the room. “I need you to tell me everything about that date. You made him cookies, right? Exploit your gifts.”

“He liked the cookies.” he rolled his eyes resisting the urge to laugh. “We’re actually going out again tonight, taking Holly for a W-A-L-K in that park around the corner. Seemed like a romantic thing to do.” Of course, that left him sifting through winter coats and scarfs trying to figure out what pair would look the best while keeping him warm.

She sighed dreamily, “That’s straight out of a movie. It’s gonna snow right?”

“Check the weather app.”

He knew that she was glaring at her wall. She always hated when he said things like that. “You know what I mean. A light flurry while walking through the park, it’s a Hallmark movie.”

“This whole thing is a Hallmark movie.” He ran a hand down his face and finally decided on a not too heavy black pea coat, shorter than the one that he wore for work most days, with a red wool scarf that Gina had knit him a few years ago. “That means it has a happy ending, right?”

“Of course! I was talking with Amanda earlier,” He didn’t exactly regret introducing the two of them, but it was worrying that his sister and his best friend gossiped about him. “She said you two are adorable together at work, and I know you fall fast. If he’s like you, this will be fine.”

He waited until only a minute before Barba-no, Rafael- to get there before grabbing Holly’s leash and the collar. “A week and a half is fast. Especially since this is only our second actual date. We’re always so busy that working lunches are all we’re able to do.”

“Alright, then make it count. I’m not losing you because of this.”

“It’ll be fine, Bells. Besides, it would take a lot more than moving to get rid of me.” He laughed to try and calm her down. It wasn’t time to give up hope. “No I’ve got to go, Rafael’s here.”

After a quick goodbye, he grabbed Holly and opened the door. “Hey.”

Rafael smiled at him for a moment, before his attention shifted to the beast at Sonny’s side. “Wow, when you said you had a big dog, I was expecting a golden retriever or border collie.” He still bent down allowing Holly to sniff and lick his hand before he buried it in her long fur.

“No, they’re more medium. Besides, Holly’s sweeter than any of them.” Sonny was beaming as well, glad that his girl wasn’t going to be a problem. “Just wait until you see her in the snow. It’s her favorite thing.”

“I bet.” He stood back up and held out his hand to Sonny, “Ready to go.”

They made it to the park in only a few minutes and Sonny could hear Rafael’s breath catch when he saw the start of the path. It was an idyllic scene with old fashioned street lamps and trees wrapped in Christmas lights. The only thing missing was the snow.

“This is beautiful.” He whispered, his hand tightening around Sonny’s. “How long is the path?”

“As long as you want it to be,” He said with a slight smirk, “but I do have a destination in mind.”

Rafael raised an eyebrow, but didn’t comment. In fact the conversation started up again with discussing how many strands of lights there had to be in the park and whether or not that was a good use of power and taxpayer money. Sonny was convinced that he was only playing devil’s advocate when he claimed that Christmas lights were not worth the money they cost.

The conversation never stalled or slowed, showing Sonny just how easy it was to be around Rafael. It was a feeling he’d never experienced before. So he led them in circles for almost half an hour before finally ending up at his favorite spot in the park.

The lights thinned as they drew nearer, but Rafael was too focused on him to notice. It was flattering, even though the actual spot was more than enough to pull his attention away from him.

One tree stood in the middle of a plaza with a single bench at the base of it. It was a nice space all year round, but during december it was gorgeous. It was done up like a proper christmas tree with tinsel and ornaments of gold spheres and tiny wooden toys. The arms of the bench were even wrapped in silver and gold garlands.

“Do you wanna sit?” He turned to Rafael, admiring how the light danced off of his eyes as he stared at the spectacle.

“Yeah, will Holly be fine with taking a break?” It took him a second to drag his eyes away which was both adorable and incredibly validating.

He looked down at his feet where Holly had already laid down, “I think she’ll be okay.”

The bench was cold, but it was offset by the heat radiating from where Rafael’s leg pressed against his. He wanted to wrap an arm around his shoulders, but he’d wait until he shivered or gave some other indication that he was cold.

“You really like Christmas, don’t you?” He chuckled, gesturing to the candy cane pin that Sonny had honestly forgotten about. It was probably still there from last year.

“My whole family really gets into it and have for my whole life. It’s just a part of the year.” He shrugged, “Just a heads up, If you don’t like Christmas, my family isn’t gonna like you.”

Their shoulders bumped gently, “Then we’re fine. I’ll admit that I’m not as festive as you are. Maybe I could get one of those Christmas Tree ties.” He chuckled at his own joke, barely hiding the lift in the corners of his mouth. It was incredibly endearing.

“That would be adorable.” Sonny admitted, finally giving in and pulling Rafael closer.

He looked increible under the lights of the tree. Multicolored flecks dotted his cheeks and made the green of his eyes practically glow. Looking into those eyes, happiness filled his heart and he knew exactly how to let it out.

It happened in the blink of an eye. All of the joy he felt well up in his chest and the moment he released it, the first snowflake fell, a light flurry that completed the whole scene and made an already incredible night perfect.

Rafael looked up at the sky, pure wonderment and awe gracing his features. He was beautiful and incredible and, God, Sonny loved him.

His eyes widened as he came to the realization. Sure, he wanted to fall in love with him, but to actually feel the emotion flooding through his whole body, to know for certain from the tips of his toes to the top of his head, it changed the way he saw everything. It sent a thought directly to the forefront of his mind. He couldn’t say “I love you” first. He couldn’t pressure Rafael into saying it back or leave it hanging over him if he didn’t feel the same way.

“What are you thinking?”

Sonny smiled brighter than he had in years, “You’re beautiful.” He whispered and kissed him, something he had wanted to do since they met.

The next day, Sonny dragged Amanda into an empty interrogation room the first chance that he got. He was freaking out. He’d already called Bella who suggested he invite Rafael to spend Christmas Eve at her place. That way, their father could see that Sonny loved the ADA, even if they hadn’t said it yet. However Sonny didn’t know what would happen if he brought Rafael into that mess of a party.

“But you said the date went well. Also, you made it snow?” she whistled. “That’s straight out of one of those movies you like so much.”

“I’m a walking cliche, sue me.” He rolled his eyes before getting back to business, “But that’s the sort of thing I’m talking about. Our family dinners are times when I don’t have to hide anything about myself and it’s nice. I can cook the way I want and when I make a strange comment or know something no one told me, no one questions it. I just don’t want to do something like I did with the toy and Rafael to freak out.

“It would just be so difficult to share things like that with him….It’s freaky and abnormal.” He collapsed into one of the chairs, “Sometimes I wonder if any of this is even worth it. It’s not gonna end well.”

She recoiled in shock but quickly recovered and laid a hand on his shoulder to try and comfort him. “Hey, you told me that you love him, right? You’re just too afraid to say it.”

“I wouldn’t put it that-”

“Yes or no, Dominick.”

He nodded, “Yeah, I love him.” That he was sure of, it was why he couldn’t lose him.

She held out her hands like that was enough of an answer. She then sighed as if he was an idiot. “If you don’t bring him and trust him with this, then you’re putting a wall between you guys and not even giving him the chance to love the real you. You’re self-sabotaging without even meaning to.”

He knew she was right, even though he didn’t want to admit it. “I’ll invite him,” was all he could say, but she knew that she’d won.

He caught up with Rafael after court later that day. It was a solid win, which went a long way to easing Sonny’s nerves over the whole thing. At least he was in a good mood. “Hey, Rafael, I was wondering if you wanted to spend Christmas Eve with my family and I. It’s my sisters and my parents, so nothing too big.” He smiled brightly, “But I’d love to have you there.”

The bright spirit collapsed, darkening his expression into almost a glare, but he why would he have been glaring. “I didn’t think you’d want me there.” His jaw was clenched tightly, “I figured it wasn’t worth it to continue this.”

Sonny fought a losing battle to not let his hurt show. He recognized those words. They were his own and Rafael was throwing them back in his face. “So, you heard?” There really was nothing left to say, if he really felt that way.

“Of course I heard, you left the door open.” He pulled his eyes away from him and stared at the ground, “And you’re right. It’s abnormal….We should just call it off now since it’s obviously not going to go anywhere.”

Sonny nodded even though his heart was breaking. There wasn’t much of a fight when what’s wrong is who you are. “For what it’s worth, you’re incredible.”

Rafael just turned and walked away, leaving Sonny standing alone in the hallway and effectively sealing his fate.

Amanda was a mom to a child who probably wouldn’t remember what she was doing most of the time. Jesse was only two, and that meant, she was going to take that shift on Christmas Eve and then go home to eggnog with her sister. It was almost a vindictive pleasure that she got from breaking the mommy-rules like that.

But all of that joy came crashing down when she crashed into Barba. Sonny been particularly closed liped to her for the past few days, but she hadn’t anticipated this being the reason behind the silence. “You should be at Bella’s,” was all she could say because if he wasn’t at Bella’s then Sonny wouldn’t be staying in New York.

“No, Sonny made his views on our relationship quite clear and we decided to end it.”

Her jaw dropped, “Really, what did he say?” She didn’t think a declaration of love would end with breaking up, and there hadn’t been enough time for him to regress back into self-doubt.

“Nothing you hadn’t already heard.”

Oh, shit. She hadn’t closed the door all the way.

“Barba,” she leveled a glare with him, “I don’t know how much you heard from us the other day, but what Sonny told me was that he was afraid you’d think he was too strange for you to stay with him and that he should just break it off before you could decide to leave him.” Her words hit him hard, it was written all over his face.

“If you love him or even care about him, you have to go to Bella’s now and fix this.” Or he’d never get the chance to.

He gave her a sharp nod and started towards the door. He only made it a few steps before breaking into a run.

“I sometimes forget what he’s really like.” Gina broke the silence that had fallen over the room and drawing everyone’s eyes away from the fireplace, “I have to say, he really has mastered the cheerful backhand. The movies never get that right.”

Teresa laughed, “I think Tim Allen did it the best, but his sarcasm was too blatant.”

“Tim Allen also didn’t destroy my life.” Sonny mumbled, standing up and leaving the room. Gabby was still having fun. She loved seeing her grandfather and Sonny wasn’t going to let his mood bring hers down.

He stood in the kitchen and poured himself a spiked eggnog. It didn’t take long for Bella to find him. “So, it didn’t work with Rafael? I’m sorry, Sonny. He made you happy.” She said that like it was the most important part of their relationship, not that if Rafael had been there he’d have been able to keep his job and life. She was right.

“He overheard the truth and didn’t take it well.” He said with a shrugged, “That was sort of a deal breaker.”

“Well, his loss.” She reached from behind her back and pulled out a Santa hat. With a sad smile she stood on her toes and placed it on his head. “You’re a fucking catch and you made it snow for him. He doesn’t deserve you.”

He wrapped her into a brotherly bear hug. “Can you tell him that? I just...I was getting ready to actually tell him. I didn’t want him out of the loop around you guys.”

She squeezed him tightly before letting go. “He doesn’t deserve to know everything. I know you loved him, but if he was worth your time, he would be here.”

Almost like clockwork, there was a loud banging on the front door.

“You don’t think.”

Sonny shook his head and wet to the front door, “I swear to god, my life is not a Hallmark movie.”

Of course, he was still surprised to see and out of breath Rafael standing on the other side. He held up a hand when Sonny opened his mouth and launched into a probably planned speech. “The other day was all a misunderstanding. I didn’t hear the important part of what you said, and even if I had, I should have given you a chance to explain.

“I don’t care what your secret is, I promise you I can take it. I just thought that you thought we were too difficult and strange, but you are,” He took a deep breath, “You are incredible and so wonderful and you don’t have to let me inside, but I just couldn’t go another minute without telling you that I love you.”

“I can stay.” He said. Sonny’s mind went blank the moment he hear those words. Rafael was in front of him saying that he loved him and Sonny loved him back. Without even thinking about it, he pulled him in for a kiss, pausing briefly after a moment to stare at the gorgeous man in front of him

“Wait a second,” Rafael pushed him back a bit, just enough that Sonny couldn’t lean in for another kiss. “You were going to leave?”

He took a deep breath and Rafael’s hands, “My father’s Santa Claus and if I hadn’t found someone that I loved to tie me here, I was going to have to take over for him.”

His eyes widened to the size of dinner plates, “You love me?”

“Yeah, I love you.”

“Your father is Santa Claus?”

“Yes, he is.”

He nodded “That conversation with Rollins makes a lot more sense now.” His gaze was soft when he came back from the shock, “It still doesn’t matter. Just that does explain how everything was always perfect.”

Sonny raised an eyebrow. He hadn’t told him about the magic yet, “How?”

“I asked your dad for someone to spend Christmas with me.” He pulled Sonny against his chest, “I guess he got my wish.”

“Well then, Merry Christmas, Rafael.”

“Merry Christmas, Sonny.”

#barisi #barisi fic #law and order svu #svu fanfiction #christmas fic #My fic

[andrewuttaro]

New Look Sabres: GM 23 - MTL - Convincing Complete

Is it accurate to call the Montreal Canadiens a rival? In the bare bones sense of them being in the same division and therefore a divisional rival it certainly would seem so, but really? The two teams have not met in a playoff series since the late 1990s and have somehow rarely been good at the same time. As is plainly clear with fans of any team, especially the Canadian-based ones, the Habs are the team to hate for their general snootiness about their hockey. But what axe to grind do the Sabres of Buffalo, NY have with them? Perhaps the plain and boring answer is just repetition and familiarity. The Habs fans filing into the arena every time they’re in town feels like a less clean version of the Leafs invasions. I digress; the way the Sabres have played the Habs this season has been a pace-maker tester every time. I watched the ending minutes of this game on my in-laws toilet and that felt like the right place given the intensity of this matchup as of late. This wild win streak began against Montreal but long before the win streak the Sabres met the Canadiens in October in what was quite a battle as well. This game stood as the opportunity to get three straight wins against hated rival (?) Montreal. It was also an opportunity to extend a seven game winning streak that already puts this Blue and Gold team in special company in franchise history up to eight straight.

Admittedly I was engaged in family affairs during this game. I am good Sabres fan though and I checked the score regularly, even turning on the stream when it seemed appropriate. Buffalo came out on a hometown high of goodwill still welling up from last game and the excitement of the crowd present. They got an edge in shots even a Tage Thompson shot that very nearly beat Antti Niemi in the first. It was Casey Mittelstadt who broke the ice who broke the ice at 12:39 on a rebounded Conor Sheary shot. It’s good to see Casey scoring more and it’s nice to begin to get the feel that this top six might be solid. Those two obviously have been doing well but Kyle Okposo who we feared would never be the same player last season has really gotten into a great way of things on that second line wing. Speaking of guys making their way into relevance again I mentioned Tage Thompson earlier but it’s worth repeating his name. He got how many GOOD shots on goal in this game? He didn’t get onto the score sheet but it’s almost as if he’s listened to some of the junk out there about him. He’s come around and is going to contribute: if not regularly now, then in time he will. Writing off this guy is not smart at this juncture. The second period saw a Montreal resurgence because the Sabres got to stink in one period right? Late in the period Canadiens Brendan Gallagher muscled a puck in past Carter Hutton that ended up getting called back for kicking it in. Gallagher wouldn’t be denied evidently and at 18:12 of the second period got his goal on rush. You probably don’t want Montreal native Nathan Beaulieu dropping to his knees defending that play but it was good shot either way. The game was even 1-1.  

The third period delivered some suspense that perhaps made you think about this winning streak in a new way. Montreal saw a morale booster win in front of them and pursued it. Jason Pominville got called for a weak holding penalty and Andrew Shaw would get credit for tapping in a David Schlemko shot on the ensuing powerplay to get the visitors up 2-1. The Sabres fought back but this game was getting long in the tooth in this period and one begins wonder if the win streak would end with who started with. We need to talk about Buffalo as a hockey city but we’ll save that for after the recap. There was less than three minutes left in regulation when Jeff Skinner batted in the juiciest rebound on the Thanksgiving leftovers day and tied it up. This one went to overtime. I sat perched on my in-laws toilet enjoying the stream at this point with some excitement. The Sabres dominated possession in the extra frame and possession in 3-on-3 hockey means a lot. Max Domi got called for slashing on Rasmus Ristolainen as he barreled in for a shot and the Sabres were on a 4-on-3 powerplay that just completely hemmed in the Habs. Tick tack toe passing a shot, a scramble in front of the net and who other than Jeff Skinner shot that puck through the net-crashing chaos to give Buffalo the Overtime win. 3-2 Buffalo, this win streak goes onto Christ’s number 8. One goal wins over the Habs maybe one of my favorite features of this season so far. For a brief shining moment this evening the Sabres were even top of the Eastern Conference. How about that?

So let’s talk; about two things: Buffalo Hockey and Jeff Skinner. Buffalo Hockey: so on Wednesday night friends and family were in town to see a Sabres team that swept a Western swing that looked to be something to behold. It was six wins in a row at that point including a couple at home. Chris “The Bulldog” Parker talked with Sal Capachio on that radio station your dumbest Sabres twitter follow says doesn’t talk about the Sabres enough before that Wednesday game about just what it meant for them to win that game. A couple home wins on a week like this after wins like that after years of the relative shitshow this team has been would win back hearts and minds. I reflected that sentiment after that Thanksgiving eve win. I bring it up again because there are two kinds of special: the kind when your team is special because they’re such a friggin good hockey team and the kind of special when your City and region is just so very behind them. In 2007 the Sabres had both. In 2018 I think we only have one so far. This team is special again as Buffalo and Western New York rally back behind a team that has really sucked for a while. The home market convincing is complete. The advanced stats still point to a Sabres team that is not exactly dominating in many categories and that’s worth noting. Don’t mourn too much when this win streak ends because while it is underlining a new, winning culture, it is not indicative of a team in Cup contention just yet. That said, Dom Luszczyszyn (yes, that is how his name is spelled) at the Athletic along with several other respected hockey reporters like Jeff Marek and Elliotte Friedman are not labeling this team an flash in the pan. They’re saying this level of play is for real even if the win streak or the place in the standings comes back down to earth a little.

We also got to talk about Jeff Skinner. With his two goal night tonight he took over possession of the league lead in goals. The rumor of him asking for 9.5 million over 7 or 8 years is at worst a starting point for negotiation and at best flatly untrue. No need to debate the truthfulness of that claim, it is what it is. What I do want to say is DO NOT LET HIM WALK. To all you prognosticators who are asking everyone to rein in the urge to call for a blank check for the guy check yourselves before you wreck yourselves: this guy is the best case scenario for an Eichel winger. He may be playing better than normal in a contract year but take a minute to think about this team minus Jeff Skinner. No matter how you cut it, it’s simply not as pretty a picture. I don’t anticipate the final number being near 9.5; yes we have to be aware of our salary cap in spite of how decent it looks to 2021. But a Jeff Skinner contract is the Sabres organization’s NUMBER ONE priority off the ice. If you think anything less than signing this guy is acceptable you are simply fucking wrong. Fight me.

You may be wondering why I didn’t bring up that little Lawrence Pilut call up fiasco. Don’t you worry, that will be the spearhead of a broader conversation in our next Amerks Update. That could’ve come sooner this month but I also happen to be in Grad School so sometimes updating this blog is down to the essentials. I’ll get there. I hope your friends find their way to this here blog. You should suggest it to them. If you’re still with family for a little while longer this weekend suggest it to them. My wife actually has mentioned it to my in-laws a couple times but I don’t think I need them diving into all the swear words from their daughter’s husband if you know what I mean. Like, share and leave me a comment if you got a hot minute. The Sabres open up their season series against the Detroit Red Wings tomorrow and that feels like a fated matchup for some reason. Let’s Go Buffalo!

Thanks for reading.

P.S. I feel like we’re not talking enough about the Leafs two game losing streak. Let’s cheer that on.

#buffalo sabres #hockey #nhl #blog

[route66team]

via marinthomas

Chapter One

“Ammonium thioglycolate, also called perm salt, is murder on your hair.”

The famous courtroom scene in the movie Legally Blonde flashed through Katelyn Pratt’s mind as she sat in the Savvy Salon, listening to the stylist lecture her mother-in-law on the dangers of perming her hair too often.

Katelyn set her sketch pad aside and took her iPhone out of her purse. She Googled ammonium thioglycolate: a pungent, colorless, clear liquid that burns the eyes, nose, lungs, and may explode if subjected to high heat—that described Shirley Pratt to a T. She tapped the Wikipedia icon and continued to read. A chemical used in the manufacturing of plastics, bombs, pesticides and dyes. Dear God. These poisons had been seeping into her mother-in-law’s skull for years. No wonder the sixty-four-year-old was a walking, talking, toxic know-it-all.

“When you’re finished with my hair, Pam, maybe you could tame that horse mane my daughter-in-law wears on her head.”

The zinger rolled off Katelyn’s shoulders, and she resumed sketching the flower vase on the table next to her. Shirley detested long hair, and that was why Katelyn never cut hers.

“She’s under the dryer.”

Katelyn glanced up from her phone and smiled at Shirley’s hairdresser. “How long until you finish with her?”

“Forty minutes.” Pam’s eyes flicked to the styling chair, then back to Katelyn. “If she doesn’t give her hair a break from perms, she’s going to molt like a bighorn sheep.”

That wouldn’t be so bad if her mother-in-law shed her horns along with her hair. “I’ll mention it to her.” But Shirley wouldn’t appreciate the advice. The day she’d moved into her son’s house—not her son and daughter-in-law’s house—she’d made it clear that any comments regarding her age or appearance would not be welcome. The same rule, however, did not apply to Katelyn, whom Shirley criticized whenever the urge hit, which was pretty darn often.

“As much as I love taking her money,” Pam said, “she won’t do me any good if she ends up bald. I don’t want to see her in the salon before November.”

Five months from now? No way would a woman who refused to leave the house without makeup and a fresh manicure ignore her hair for eighteen weeks.

“I need to run an errand. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” Katelyn stuffed the sketch pad into her canvas tote bag, then left the salon, ducking her head against the rain. A cold front had moved through St. Louis overnight, leaving early June feeling like late October. She drove Shirley’s silver Mercedes to the other side of the strip mall and parked in front of Henderson Drug. When she entered the store, she went straight to the Hallmark aisle. Her husband should be the one picking out a card for his mother, but she couldn’t remember the last time Don had been in town for Shirley’s birthday.

The pain-in-the-butt’s favorite color was blue, so Katelyn selected a gaudy pink card with neon orange and yellow smiley-face flowers. On the way to the register, she passed an umbrella stand and plucked a plastic rain cap from the display. Heaven forbid Shirley get her hair wet and ruin her perm when she left the salon.

While Katelyn waited in the checkout line, she browsed the retail gift cards. She assumed Don would bring his mother a gift from Japan, but Shirley had nothing to open on her actual birthday tomorrow. She selected a fifty-dollar Starbucks card. Gift cards were impersonal, but it was the begrudging thought that counted. Besides, she got credit for baking Shirley’s favorite cake this morning—chocolate fudge.

“Hello.” Katelyn set her items on the counter.

The teenage clerk ignored the greeting and asked, “Do you have a Henderson Drug card?”

Her discount cards for the various stores she frequented hung on the key chain for her Hyundai Santa Fe, which she’d left at the house after Shirley insisted Katelyn drive her car today. “Can I give you my phone number?” She recited the digits, then swiped her debit card.

A moment later the teen’s robotic voice said, “Thank you for shopping Henderson Drugs. Next, please.”

Katelyn returned to the salon in time to watch Pam spray a final layer of shellac on Shirley’s café au lait curls. While the two women settled the bill, she texted her son, Michael.

Hi, honey. Grandma Pratt turns 65 tomorrow. Don’t forget to wish her a Happy Birthday. Hope U R doing ok. Call me when U have free time. She added a heart emoticon, then hit send. Michael would eventually answer her—he always did.

A long, lonely summer loomed ahead of Katelyn. She’d been looking forward to spending time with the twins before they headed off to college, but the kids had made other plans. Michael had wanted to get a jump on prerequisite classes for his engineering major and had enrolled in summer school at the University of Michigan. He’d moved into his new apartment in Ann Arbor two weeks ago. Melissa had been accepted into Shirley’s alma mater, Stephens College, in Columbia, Missouri, and she was traveling in Greece and Italy until mid-July with a group of incoming freshmen.

Shirley fake patted her hair. “What do you think?”

“Lovely.” The hairstyle looked the same as it always did—old-fashioned. Katelyn held out the plastic cap. Shirley put it on, then walked to the door.

“You forgot your purse.” Katelyn pointed to the counter and Shirley retrieved her handbag; then they left the salon.

Once they were on their way home, she asked Grumpy Cat, “Where would you like to go for your birthday lunch?”

“Nowhere.” Shirley acted as if she didn’t care about celebrating her birthday, but Katelyn knew better. If her father-in-law, Robert, hadn’t dropped dead from a massive heart attack three years ago, her mother-in-law would be partying in Kansas City with her wealthy friends. But a series of phone calls shortly after Robert’s funeral had prompted Don to invite his mother to live with them.

The first call had come from the housekeeper after she’d discovered the gas stove had been left on while Shirley had been out shopping. The second call had come from the bank after Shirley had failed to pay the mortgage two months in a row. And the third call had come from the pastor at Shirley’s church, who’d informed Don that his mother had put her credit card in the donation plate during Sunday services. Shirley’s slipups had worried Don and he’d insisted his mother sell her home and move to St. Louis. Katelyn remembered the conversation as if it had happened yesterday and not 1,112 days ago.

“My mother’s moving in with us,” Don said.

Katelyn hovered in the master bathroom doorway, watching her husband pack his toiletry bag. “You mean for a month or two while she house hunts?”

His gaze skipped over her. “It’s not like we don’t have room for her.”

“That isn’t the point.”

“What is the point, Katelyn?”

“Your mother doesn’t like me.” Don had joked when they’d dated in college that he’d been attracted to Katelyn because she had nothing in common with his mother. That was well and good when two hundred miles had separated them—not so well and good when they lived under the same roof.

“It’s not safe for her to live alone. She could burn the house down if she leaves the stove on again,” he said.

“It was one time, Don. Besides, it’s normal for someone to be forgetful after losing a loved one. Your father’s death was sudden and unexpected. Give her time and she’ll settle down.”

“I don’t want to take any chances with her safety.”

“Then move her into an assisted-living facility.”

“She’s not that bad off yet.”

“She’s been fine when I’ve talked to her on the phone.”

Don ignored her protests. “The kids will enjoy having her around.”

Katelyn left the bathroom and threw herself across the bed. There was no shortage of adjectives to describe her mother-in-law. Opinionated. Bossy. Snooty.

Don sat next to her on the mattress and put on his shoes. “You’ll be busy with the twins and that art group you belong to. I doubt my mother will get in your way. Besides, she’ll make her own friends and go off with them.”

Don had been dead wrong. Since moving in with them, Shirley had made zero friends. None. Nada. Zip. The woman had made no effort to connect with others her age and had even snubbed the ladies’ bridge club after Katelyn had begged her elderly neighbor, Mrs. Krantz, to invite her into the group. And as Katelyn had predicted, after a few months of processing her husband’s death and the move to a new city, Shirley’s memory appeared fine except for the normal signs of old-age forgetfulness like not remembering the date or where she set her purse.

“Your mother’s fine,” she told Don three months after Shirley had moved in with them. “She baked a cake yesterday for the kids and remembered to turn off the oven. And she’s been running her own errands and finding her way back home. She’s ready to move into her own place.”

“She just got settled with us and now you want to kick her out?”

A thump in the hallway caught Katelyn’s attention and she’d poked her head out the bedroom door, but there was no one in sight. “Will you please broach the subject with your mother and see how she reacts?”

“I’ll talk to her when I return from my trip.” Don kissed Katelyn’s cheek, grabbed his suitcase and left the house. The next day Shirley took the car to run to the grocery store; then two hours later Katelyn’s phone rang.

“Is everything okay?” Katelyn asked.

“I don’t know where I am.”

“Didn’t you go to the grocery store?”

“I must have taken a wrong turn.”

“Where are you right now?”

“In a parking lot. There’s a donut shop and a cleaner’s.”

“What’s the name of the cleaner’s?”

“Fresh Press Laundry.”

The business was only four blocks from the house. “Stay put. I’ll be right there.” Katelyn had driven to the shopping center and then made Shirley follow her home. From that day on, her mother-in-law asked to be chauffeured everywhere. When Katelyn suggested seeing a doctor, Shirley had thrown a hissy fit.

The sudden memory loss had Katelyn wondering if the older woman had eavesdropped on her conversation with Don. But then the following week, Shirley misplaced her wallet and appeared genuinely distressed. They’d torn up the house searching for it, but hadn’t found it until the following day when Katelyn took an empty detergent bottle out to the recycle bin and discovered the wallet sitting on top of the garbage can. How it had ended up there was a mystery that had never been solved, and Katelyn had been forced to accept that Shirley’s occasional forgetfulness wasn’t intentional and that her mother-in-law would be living in her home for the foreseeable future.

Once the queen bee knew she wouldn’t be thrown out, she’d gleefully assumed the role of the de facto matriarch of the Pratt clan. Katelyn had complained to Don, insisting he put his mother in her place, but Shirley had emerged from those talks believing she still outranked Katelyn—no doubt recognizing that Don had acted as his wife’s messenger.

It wasn’t until Melissa asked Katelyn why she bickered with Grandma all the time that she realized the twins had been paying attention to the power struggle between their mother and their grandmother. She cared more about what her kids thought of her than her mother-in-law, so she’d backed off and chosen her battles wisely and when the kids weren’t around.

“Let’s have your birthday lunch downtown at the Old Spaghetti Factory.” Katelyn turned the wipers up a notch.

“I’d rather wait and celebrate when Don returns.”

Both Katelyn and Don were only children, and in Shirley’s eyes her son could do no wrong. According to her, Don not only walked on water—he invented it. Katelyn got along fine with her mother, Birdie, but they weren’t close. Often a couple of weeks would go by before one of them called to check in.

“Denny’s offers a free birthday lunch,” Katelyn said.

Shirley’s mouth puckered and Katelyn swallowed a laugh. Her mother-in-law had high standards when it came to food.

She turned off Delmar Boulevard onto Westminster and a block later pulled into the driveway of their 1907 Classic Revival–style home. The four-thousand-square-foot house included a finished basement, four bedrooms and three and a half baths—plenty large enough for five people to wander around without bumping into one another. Not. The idiot who’d renovated the place had added a guest suite on the main floor near the kitchen, making it convenient for Shirley to overhear conversations and phone calls. Katelyn parked the car in the circular drive.

“Why aren’t you pulling into the garage? You don’t have any appointments for the rest of the day.” Amazing how Shirley forgot where she set her purse, yet she memorized Katelyn’s personal calendar every morning on her way to the coffeepot.

“I might decide to go out later.” Katelyn collected the drugstore bag and her tote, then got out of the car and waited for Shirley. “Be careful on the wet steps.” She followed behind. “Pam’s banishing you from the salon until October.”

“Why?”

Katelyn twisted the knife a little deeper. “Pam said your hair’s starting to thin at the crown.” If she didn’t get in a few jabs once in a while, she’d explode and say something she couldn’t take back.

They entered the house and Shirley removed the rain cap, then dropped it on the chair next to the door. “You should change your hairstyle to something more age appropriate.”

Oh, this was rich. The Betty White look-alike telling Katelyn she needed a makeover.

“You’re too old to wear your hair halfway down your back.”

“Since when is forty old?” Katelyn hung their jackets in the hall closet.

“The brown color looks nice on you, but the longer length draws attention to your . . .” Shirley’s gaze dropped. “Your hips aren’t your best feature.”

Katelyn ignored the criticism, because she derived immense pleasure from knowing that Shirley was powerless to force her to change her hair. Every year she considered trying a new style, then nixed the idea, reluctant to give up the one thing that drove her mother-in-law nuts.

What do you think? Are you ready to purchase The Future She Left Behind?  

Need more convincing? Read on.....

Chapter Two

Katelyn breathed a sigh of relief when Shirley retreated to her bedroom. She’d enjoy the peace and quiet while she made the frosting for the birthday cake. The recipe came from her grandmother’s cookbook, which Birdie had given to Katelyn on her wedding day. Speaking of mothers . . . She peeked at the calendar on the kitchen desk. Birdie turned sixty on June twenty-first—two weeks from today.

It had been more than three years since Katelyn had flown home to Little Springs, Texas. After Shirley had moved in and turned their lives—mostly Katelyn’s life—upside down, it had been all she could do to get through each week, let alone plan the next one. With the kids gone for most of the summer, she intended to ask Don if he’d schedule a week’s vacation and entertain Shirley while she visited Birdie.

After collecting all the ingredients, Katelyn combined melted chocolate squares, butter, vanilla flavoring, sour cream, water and powdered sugar into a bowl, then flipped on the mixer. The sound of the beaters brought back memories of her mother baking a cake every Sunday morning and then letting it cool on the counter while they attended church.

Katelyn had grown up a latchkey kid, and because both her parents had worked, she’d spent much of her childhood alone, playing with Mack, the stray Rottweiler that had wandered into the yard one afternoon and had never left. Mack hadn’t been allowed inside, but her father had built a house for him to use during the winter. In the summer Mack slept beneath the front porch to escape the heat.

By the time Katelyn had entered junior high, Mack’s muzzle had turned white. Her father had predicted the dog wouldn’t survive another winter. Mack must have known, too, because he’d died the day before Halloween that year. They’d buried him in the backyard near Birdie’s yellow lantana plants. Katelyn’s cell phone rang, interrupting the poignant memory, and she shut off the mixer.

Melissa. “Hi honey. Everything okay?”

“I’m fine, Mom. You worry too much.”

Busted. Katelyn admitted she was a helicopter parent and proud of it. After the twins had been born, she’d made a vow to stay involved in their lives and become their champions—unlike her own mother, who’d been too tired from her job to keep track of Katelyn’s hobbies. And when Birdie wasn’t cashiering at the Buy & Bag grocery store, she could be found working in her garden, not attending her daughter’s extracurricular activities. Katelyn might have gone overboard making sure her kids had everything they needed to succeed. Don’s job as the executive vice president of logistic operations for NicorTrune—a company that produced chemicals, fibers and plastics used by other manufacturers—required him to spend several weeks a month overseas, and she’d felt compelled to double down on her efforts to make up for his absence.

“I wanted to wish Grandma an early happy birthday, because I can’t call tomorrow.”

“Why not?”

“We’re touring Pompeii and I’ll be gone the whole day.”

“Grandma’s napping, but I’ll tell her you wished her a happy birthday. How are you doing? Are you getting along with the other girls? What are you eating?”

Melissa laughed. “Which question do you want me to answer first?”

“I don’t care. Just keep talking. It’s good to hear your voice.”

“I’m having a great time and so far the weather’s been decent.”

It didn’t sound as if Melissa missed home at all. As soon as the thought entered Katelyn’s mind, she chastised herself. It hadn’t been that long ago that she’d been as eager as her daughter to venture out into the world.

“OMG, Mom, the guys over here are hot.”

“No hot guys for you, young lady.”

“Has Jared called?” Jared and Melissa had dated their senior year but decided on an amicable breakup when Melissa left for Italy. Katelyn understood only too well the difficulties of letting go of a first love.

“Jared hasn’t phoned. Is he supposed to call?”

“I thought . . . never mind. If he stops by, tell him I’m having a great time abroad.”

“Do you want me to tell him the boys over there are hot, too?”

Melissa groaned. “How’s Michael?”

“Fine, I guess. He hasn’t called home yet for money.”

“Is Dad around?”

“He returns from Japan on Friday.”

“Tell him I said hi.”

“I will. How are you doing with your money? Do you need more?”

“I have plenty. Mom?”

“What?”

“Don’t say no right away.”

Uh-oh.

“Sara Kerns invited me to stay with her after we return to the States in July.”

Melissa had met Sara during the orientation meeting for the trip and the two had become fast friends. “Doesn’t Sara live in Georgia?”

“Near Savannah.”

“Is Jared the reason you don’t want to hang around St. Louis the rest of the summer?”

“Maybe. It’ll be so awkward, Mom.”

Katelyn understood. When she’d broken up with her high school boyfriend, Jackson, during her first semester of college, she’d avoided going home, wanting to spare them both the awkwardness of running into each other.

“Sara’s family owns a horse farm and you know I’ve always wanted to learn to ride.”

“I offered to set you up with lessons when you were ten, but you changed your mind.” Katelyn had taken Melissa to a horse stable on the outskirts of St. Louis, but the huge animals had scared her and she’d asked to take dance lessons instead.

“Sara said they have a really old mare that I can learn to ride on.”

Katelyn hated not seeing Melissa until school began in late August, but she didn’t want to stand in the way of her daughter chasing her dreams. “Are you sure you don’t want to come home?”

“Positive. And Dad won’t care, because he’s gone all the time. Please, Mom.”

“As long as it’s okay with Sara’s parents, you can stay with them.”

Melissa squealed. “It’s going to be the best summer ever.”

“I’ll change your plane ticket when—”

“I can do it.”

Katelyn bit back a sigh. She’d been looking forward to taking her daughter shopping for school clothes and spoiling her with a girls’ day at the spa before she left for college. Melissa had begun getting her hair highlighted in ninth grade and mani-pedis had become a monthly habit. Michael always had the newest video-game system and cool athletic shoes. Katelyn had wanted only to give her children what she’d never had. The twins knew they were spoiled, but so were their friends at school. Fortunately, they’d never abused their parents’ generosity or seriously rebelled.

“I gotta go. Tell Grandma I miss her.”

“Stay safe.”

“I will. Love you.”

“Love you, too, honey.” As soon as Katelyn set the phone on the counter, she received a text message from Michael.

I’ll wish Grandma a happy birthday tomorrow.

Katelyn wasn’t letting her son off the hook that easy.

What are you up to? she texted back.

5’11”

Very funny

On my way to the gym. Gotta go.

Call this weekend. Your dad will be home.

K

Love you XXOO

Me 2

In a good mood after both kids had checked in, Katelyn took extra care frosting the two-layer cake before covering it with plastic wrap and returning it to the fridge. After she cleaned up the mess, she decided to throw a load of laundry into the washing machine, but the sound of the doorbell interrupted her.

A pair of blue eyes rimmed with pale blond lashes stared back at her through the peephole. The man wore a dark suit, and behind him a nondescript green sedan sat in the driveway next to the Mercedes. She opened the door. “May I help you?”

“Are you Katelyn Chandler-Pratt?”

“I am.”

He handed her a manila envelope. “This is for you.”

“What is it?”

“Papers.” He backed up.

“What kind of papers?”

“Legal papers.”

“I don’t understand. Are we being sued?”

“Only you, ma’am. Your husband wants a divorce.”

Ready to find out what happens in The Future She Left Behind when Katelyn takes Shirley back to her hometown of Little Springs, Texas? 

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#IFTTT #marinthomas

[innersoul7]

01272017

I have already began my last semester of college and I’m not sure how hard I should try... it’s not like I can fail my way out now. I have already began slacking. And not really eating right... I was on such a great path before New Years. I would actually make the best decisions when eating food. I’d eat salads whenever available and I would minimize the amount of carbs I would have in a day. 

Right now, I don’t read chapters before class, I’m pretty slow when it comes to getting information out to my organization and I play Sims for hours at a time. I mean I could work harder... but exactly who ever does? .... Maybe next week. I keep telling myself that. 

I hate my roommate pt. 1

The biggest pet peeve I’ve been having is that my roommate (randomly assigned...) claims to never have time to do anything. I got this new roommate last semester when the fall semester began. She graduated from A&M in Ag. Econ., so I don’t even know what that entails. It sounds like the economics/finance of agriculture... But anyways: at the beginning of the year, she was like ‘hey can I use your dishes’ etc. w/e. Me, being nice and tryna help another girl out, was like ‘yeah go for it’. BIG MISTAKE. So who knew that this meant that she’d use my dishes AND not wash them... it probably took about 3-5 business days to process the work request and another 3-5 business days to actually get to the cleaning. I would low key ask her hey clean this blah blah, and she’s like yeah sure. 

I went on a trip to DC for a 10 miler, so on the way there I texted my roommate to clean my things up after she used them. Because right before I left I found one of my knives with icing on it on top of the icing container. Then I ‘kindly’ reminded her then she sends me like an entire textbook with time references to when she used my things and didn’t wash them. I honestly, personally, did not care. All I saw was that my dishes/silverware were dirty.

Sometimes I’d find a bowl with food scraped off of it in the common area; one time I was talking to her through the doorframe of her room and saw my plate on the floor with a pizza crust on it; 

this girl is a complete mess. 

So after I low key tell her to not use my stuff and to simply respect it, she took that way too personally than it should’ve been. She sent me an entire textbook back telling me how she doesn’t have time to clean my stuff and blah blah blah. I didn’t really look at it, because I didn’t need that negativity in my life. My friends just read it for me and paraphrased lol. But she’s in law school. That’s her excuse. I get it, you sign up for a program and you’re busier than usual. That doesn’t give you an excuse to use someone else’s stuff and then not clean it. It was funny because to counteract that she got paper plates and paper bowls and plastic ware because she literally didn’t have time to do her own dishes. 

SO this happened last semester. 

Oh, by the way, she does not clean the common area at all. I clean the floors at least once a month. Especially now that it’s winter, we bring in salt from the ground into our apartment. 

I left for winterbreak before she did. I had my boyfriend come in and check up on the place because I personally do not trust my roommate. When he got back, he snapchatted me a video of the common area. There were gigantic salt splotches on the floor. It’s really easy to see anything on the floors because they are so dark. 

When I got back, and sometime my roommate told me that she was cleaning her truck (or whatever she does...) (by the way, she has a F-150 and it doesn’t even have 4WD! wtf??) before she drove back to Texas. So that mean that she was going in and out and didn’t really have a super crucial time hack. She left the apartment floors a mess... 

My apartment is absolutely embarrassing to come back to. 

I actually came back to do a winter statistics session. My roommate came back a day or two after me because law school starts before undergrad. A lot of the times I’d come back and she would be in the common area watching tv. It seemed like she would literally come out whenever she heard me or my boyfriend walk out (our doors are really squeeky) and try to have a conversation with one of us. The problem is that she is difficult to talk about because all she talks about is herself. She’s also a country person... and a very snooty country person at that. 

She’s also very desperate for boys. She was like ‘so are there any single guys at your unit?’ and I was like ‘no’ because literally all the males at my unit are old and married or young married with kids... it was funny because later that day she had a guy over. And then I asked her about him later and she’s like yeah we haven’t talked since. 

She claims that all the guys here at the school dress like ‘fags’ which 1) way to use a derogatory term for gays and 2) sucks to suck, your sister already set up an account on farmersonly.com for you. She really prides herself on being country and ‘different’ because she likes to wear fishing shirts for leisure. 

Whenever we talk, it’s usually about her, and that’s pretty much it. She (not so) humble brags about herself constantly. 

The first day she was there she randomly asked my boyfriend where the mental health clinic was. Our campus is not that small, so unless you actually go there, no one would really know. I don’t know if that was a conversation starter for her but it definitely made my boyfriend uncomfortable. 

She’s told me that she sees like 3-4 doctors for various reasons. Like her body’s messed up and for mental/depressive issues. I’m usually a caring person but she seriously annoys me and I am not going to talk to her because I know myself. I know I will not be nice to her lol. She seriously needs to get a hold of her life and her dishes. 

Oh yea, back to my main point: 

Recently, I found a (mine...) bowl dirty in the sink that I didn’t use. I’m pretty good about washing my dishes. Then a day later I find multiple things of mine in the dish washer. That was seriously fucking shady. I asked her if she used them or whatever and she told me she only wanted to help. That was shady to me because she had a gigantic pan that she could’ve washed that was sitting in the sink (it’s still there... over a week later). And she has her own things to wash. I haven’t gotten around to telling her to seriously not touch my stuff. Because that’s fucking shady. I don’t think it’s helping if she takes my stuff to wash and it takes about 2 weeks to wash. 

By the way, our kitchen sinks were clogged up. The plumbing for that and the dishwasher are connected. So she starts the dishwasher and it starts leaking on the floor. After the cycle ends, it smelled like shit inside. I obviously then had to wash them yet again... so she didn’t really end up ‘helping me out’.

I really hope this girl lives alone or at least with someone dirtier and messier than her. Who knows. SHe’s just too ‘busy’ to do anything.