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#so Lenny is a child of divorce
fatdink · 4 months
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modern/90s vdl gang au… i’ve succumbed to the illness
— arthur is 36 divorced dad. he’s still pining over his high school gf (he sees her sometimes tho fr like he still has a shot with her fr ((crazy))) and has complicated feelings towards his ex wife. he’s a good father, never late to pick up or drop off. gets issac on the weekends. does not understand the smiths but issac likes it so OK.
— he lives in an okay-ish apartment building, like it’s not falling apart or anything. he works a hoarde of jobs but like. this bitch is always doing something new. no1 ever knows what fucking job he’s working. if u need smth, best 2 go 2 him. he knows ppl fr
— john is 26, with child and having problems. he’s doin ok (liar). he and abigail r in a ‘complicated’ relationship, they’re not really together but they’re also not seeing other people and they’re co parenting and also they don’t live tgther bc john STILL.. lives at his dads’ place. he has enough money 2 move out, but he doesn’t know if he wants 2 yet. (can’t handle change). he’s a decent father, like worse than arthur but he’s ok.
— he works at some like shitty dead end job. he’s trying to get his life 2gether but. it’s hard. he feels like he’s progressing slower than everyone else and is maybe beginning to regret not going to college. he’s down in the dumps, guys. also. he’s in a band.. yeah.. a shitty little band that sounds A LOT… like nirvana, i wonder why
— hosea is 55 and still taking care of his sons. free him. FREE HIM!!!! he’s in a book club @ the library where he meets young lenny whom he finds very endearing. he’s basically retired (co-owns a store with dutch) and bonds with his young employees. he wants john to move out, but not for the reasons u think, he genuinely just wants john to get better and start taking care of his son better. a lot like in the game
— he is well liked within the community. his employees will genuinely look to him for advice which he finds sweet. he has a close relationship with arthur still and calls him when he can. he and dutch are currently in an argument about the john situation bc hosea figures that dutch coddled john too much. dutch disagrees. dutch sleeps on the couch.
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Hello, Sunshine, 1982
It has been a rough couple of years.
Abe passed in 1980, and Shirley got sick and passed away quickly later the same year. In 1981, Noah died under what Midge thinks are strange circumstances, but his employers and Astrid insist it was a simple car accident.
Either way, losing three beloved family members in just a couple of years is a lot to deal with.
When Ethan gets to his feet during Yom Kippur Break Fast and announces he’s asked Julia to marry him, and she’s said yes, Midge feels warmth spread in her chest and she finds herself squeezing Lenny’s hand under the table.
“My baby is getting married,” she beams before getting to her feet and hugging her son tightly. She turns to Julia and hugs her too. “I knew when I saw you with no pants on that first time you’d fit right in.”
Ethan chuckles. “Ma.”
“That’s so weird,” Julia tells her tearfully. “But so sweet. Thank you, Midge.”
Midge takes a breath as she pulls away and squeezes the younger woman’s shoulders. “We need to plan an engagement party!” She whirls around to look at Mei. “You in?”
“Hell, yes,” Mei grins. “I’ll set up the location. There are some really nice restaurants in Chinatown.”
“Aren’t you two getting ahead of yourselves?” Joel asks.
“To Ethan and Julia!” Moishe chimes in, lifting his glass. “May their life together be sweet.”
“And may his dick not wander like his father’s,” Susie adds.
“There it is,” Joel grumbles.
*****
Ethan’s mothers make good on the engagement party. It’s extravagant, held at one of the beautiful, usually off-the-table restaurants in Chinatown. It had taken a lot of planning, but leave it to the two most capable women in his life.
He’s also deeply aware that while Susie didn’t help plan it, she’d certainly helped pay for it. He knows that it was not at all cheap to pull this off. Not only is Ethan’s family and circle of friends relatively large, but Julia’s family is an army, with her parents, three brothers, seven aunts and uncles and fourteen cousins.
Ethan sighs softly as he looks out at the crowd, wrapping his arm around Julia and kissing her cheek before getting to his feet.
“You know, usually my Ma is the one who gives the speech, but she has a reputation for telling the worst story she can possibly think of  when she does, so I’m taking the reigns.”
Everyone chuckles and Midge shrugs sheepishly from her seat next to Lenny.
“I am a lucky guy,” Ethan says. “Have been for as long as I can remember. Two powerhouse moms who have done nothing but support me. Two dads who are very good at teaching me about life. Siblings who support me no matter. Doting grandparents and aunts and uncles. And Susie, who is, in fact, the best friend a five-year-old child of divorce could have asked for.” 
Everyone chuckles at that and Susie rolls her eyes, but she looks misty-eyed as well.
“And now I’m even luckier,” Ethan goes on. “Because not only do I get Julia out of this whole marriage thing, but I get her incredibly large, loving family in the deal as well, and that’s a big get. And I could probably go on for another hour about how incredible and loving and sweet and smart and beautiful Julia is. I should probably save some material for the actual wedding. Instead, I’ll just thank all of you for coming to celebrate. Thank Ma and Mei and Susie for this great party, and say cheers.”
Everyone repeats the cheers, and drink and cheer and Ethan leans over to kiss Julia happily.
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Rose smelling Lenny’s aftershave after a secret visit
Pairing: Lenny Bruce & Midge Maisel Rated T
Her daughter has a new man in her life.
There have been little clues over the last few weeks, but it's not until Rose catches the distinct scent of aftershave on Miriam's dressing gown that she is absolutely certain.
It's a reminder of just how far apart she and Miriam have grown. She used to be her daughter's closest confidante. Miriam used to come to her with all of her problems, and now...
Rose feels like she's a stranger.
Miriam heads to her bathroom to get ready for the day, and a few minutes later, Rose knocks on the door. "Miriam?" She calls.
"Yes, Mama?"
"May I come in?"
"Sure," Miriam calls back, and Rose steps inside the room, closing the door behind her. "You seem very happy this morning," she comments, meeting her daughter's gaze in the mirror.
The younger woman smiles as she dusts powder onto her face. "It's a nice day," she comments. "I have a meeting with Susie this afternoon and a show tonight."
Rose purses her lips for a moment. "So this has nothing to do with your gentleman caller?" She asks.
Miriam's eyes widen in surprise. "How did you know?"
"Your dressing gown smells of aftershave," she replies, and Miriam averts her gaze. "You used to share things with me. No matter how big or small, you used to tell me about your life. I miss that."
Miriam bites her lip gently before turning to face her. "I miss it, too," she admits. "But I'm...so afraid of disappointing you. You disapprove of my career, you disapprove of my divorce, and I don't think I'll be able to bear it if you disapprove of - "
She cuts herself off, and Rose feels a pang of sadness that her daughter feels she can't even share the name of her new beau.
"Mama, I want our relationship to be how it was before," she swears. "But I don't know how to share these things with you anymore. It feels like every bit of my life has become deplorable to you."
Rose looks down at her hands, feeling so similarly to that night nearly two years ago when she walked in to find her daughter with a black Chanel dress, ready to go somewhere she wasn't willing to divulge. "Are you in love with this man?" She asks quietly.
Her daughter stares at her for a moment, silently debating whether or not to share her feelings, and Rose is relieved when a soft smile meets Miriam's lips and she nods. "I am," she whispers.
"Well," Rose breathes. "Then your father and I should meet him. If he is that important to you...we should become acquainted with him."
"Um...you have met him," Miriam says, and Rose begins to rack her brain for the men in her daughter's life who she might be dating. She comes up blank until Miriam says, "It's Lenny."
It takes every bit of Rose's self control not to appear shocked. She manages to keep her features schooled and says, "And...he makes you happy?"
Miriam's smile grows a bit. "He does. I know he's not what you and Papa want for me - I mean, he's a comic, he's got an arrest record, and...there are some other things you won't approve of, but...he's good to me. He loves me," she explains. "He's actually a very sweet man, and I think you will really like him if you just give him a chance."
Rose nods slowly. "If he is that important to you...then I will," she promises.
Miriam looks like she's going to cry when she says, "Thank you, Mama."
"You're my daughter, Miriam. I only want what's best for you, and if I've been...harsh...it's only because of that."
Miriam nods and steps forward, slipping her arms around her waist and resting her head on her shoulder the way she used to when she was a child. Rose holds her, petting her hair gently for a moment. "We'll set a date to meet Leonard properly, and I promise to give him the benefit of the doubt."
"Thank you, Mama."
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cyarsk52-20 · 11 months
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The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel Finale: We Bet You Didn’t Catch These Hidden Details
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Prime Video/Amazon Studios
Looking back, they actually make perfect sense. 
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel aired its finale episode on Friday, May 26. And, quite frankly, it was marvelous. “Nothing is ever perfect, but I can’t think of a more perfect way to end [the series],” Marin Hinkle, who plays Rose Weissman, said at the show’s finale screening in Los Angeles. Said Alex Borstein, who plays Susie Myerson, “It felt like giving a daughter away at a wedding, like holy shit, my work here is done. My child is fully baked.” (Let this also serve as a warning that there are major finale spoilers ahead, so stop reading if you’re not caught up.)
The episode, titled “Four Minutes,” opens in 1965, with Lenny Bruce struggling on a small, smoke-filled stage. Susie watches from the sidelines, devastated that Bruce’s demons are getting the best of him. The real Bruce died in 1966, and it’s all but implied in this scene that the end is near. Even so, Susie tries to help him. He’s not interested, but before she leaves, he asks if Midge is there. Susie says no, but moments later we see Midge backstage. “He’s a mess, Miriam,” Susie relays.
Susie visits Lenny at a club in 1965.Philippe Antonello/Prime Video
The next scene opens four years earlier, in 1961, with Susie sleeping on a park bench. When the cops try to get her to move, she puts up a fight and is arrested. Midge is called to bail her out, which explains why she ran out of work before Gordon could tell her she’s going to appear on his show. After Susie is released, Susie confesses she asked Hedy to help get Midge on The Gordon Ford Show. Midge appreciates the gesture but quickly changes topics to talk about Susie’s personal life. It’s then that Susie admits she was involved with Hedy years earlier. “It was an unnatural pairing,” she says. “We looked ridiculous.” 
“It was tricky to do,” Borstein said of the scene. “I wanted it to still have some comedic value, like with the sugar bit, to temper her heartbreak and the delivery of that. But it was scary as an actress to be that vulnerable, and scary for Susie to be that vulnerable with Midge.”
Susie admits to Midge that she was involved with Hedy.Philippe Antonello/Prime Video
Later, Midge heads to work, where Gordon says, “You win, you’re on the show. Tonight.” He’s angry about having to put her on the show, but Midge knows big things are about to happen. And so, Midge does what anyone who’s about to make their late-night debut would do: heads to Bergdorf. 
Meanwhile, over at the Maisel factory, Moishe and Shirley break the news to Joel that after a near catastrophe in the shower and a come-to-Moses moment, they’ve decided to retire, sell the house, and get a condo in Boca Raton. “It was so wonderful how they landed the plane for Moishe and Shirley,” Caroline Aaron, who plays Shirley, told the audience at the Fonda Theater in Los Angeles. “They were really on the rocks, and they just finally had to know and acknowledge that they are each other’s people no matter what.” Kevin Pollak, who plays Moishe, was equally as thrilled with how his storyline wrapped up. “We were livid when we read the script that they were divorcing at the beginning of the season,” Pollack admitted. “We really freaked out.”
After Joel hears the surprising news about his parents, Midge calls to tell him that she’ll be on Gordon Ford. He’s proud of her and says it’s totally fine if she wants to roast him on air for cheating. “Have I ever told you you’re amazing?” Midge asks. “More than I deserve,” he replies. Brosnahan revealed at the panel that when Midge does any of her stand-up acts, she’s always wearing her wedding ring. Midge takes it off in her everyday life, of course, but it’s always on when she’s performing. 
Midge with her wedding ring on while performing stand-up in season four. Prime Video
Back to the episode: Abe gets home and tells Rose they have to get ready to see Midge on Gordon Ford, but Rose is humiliated and annoyed that her daughter never bothered to tell her the news herself. Of course, that was only because Rose unknowingly left the phone off the hook.
Rose and Abe forever. Philippe Antonello/Prime Video
Over in the green room at The Gordon Ford Show, Midge pulls out a fortune from a fortune cookie, smiles affectionately, and stuffs it into her bra. It doesn’t actually say anything other than a bunch of “lucky” numbers. We find out later it’s the fortune Lenny gave Midge months earlier, predicting her major break. “It was nice to have Lenny find a way into Midge’s life [through the fortune],” Luke Kirby noted.
But Midge’s joy soon turns to disappointment and anger when Gordon reveals Midge isn’t coming on the show to perform. “You’re coming on as a writer,” he says sternly. She’s stunned, and Susie runs after Gordon. It’s the ultimate dick move, and now it looks like The Gordon Ford Show isn’t going to be Midge’s big break after all. 
Even Mike (Jason Ralph) tries to convince Gordon to reconsider, but his boss isn’t having it. Meanwhile, the Weissmans and Maisels arrive for the live taping (and free swag), along with Joel, Archie, and Imogene. Backstage, Midge is gutted. Still, she plans on going on the show even if it means sitting on a stool and fielding softball questions about her job from Gordon.
And even in their brief on-air exchange, Midge manages to impress and get laughs from the audience. That only bruises Gordon’s ego even more, so he throws to commercial early, declaring himself done with the bit. Only problem is he still has four minutes left of airtime to fill. Mike finally convinces Gordon to continue “stool time” with Midge. In the interim, Abe and Rose call their daughter over to the railing to tell her how proud they are of her. “It was extraordinary [to have those scenes],” Hinkle said on the panel. “When I read that Rose was going to get to celebrate Midge, I really was thrilled.”
Seeing her mother’s pride and happiness, Midge stops short of telling Rose that she won’t actually be doing stand-up on the show after all. And as she makes her way back to the stool, she looks at the microphone. The camera circles around Midge as she eyes the one thing she wants most, just as we saw in the pilot episode. And so, she walks over to Susie and says, “I have four more minutes left. Four minutes. You hearing me? Four minutes. I’m thinking about doing something, Susie. Something very reckless. Something that could go very badly for both of us. It could ruin us. Definitely me, and you by extension.” 
Susie knows what Midge is up to and takes a beat before saying, “Look, you started your career by getting up on a stage that no one told you to get up on, saying a bunch of shit that no one wanted you to say. So…tits up.” (Said Brosnahan of the emotionally charged rally cry: “We couldn’t even look at each other in that moment.”)
Midge takes her seat on the stool next to Gordon and says, “Just so you know, it was not my intention to force your hand. I had hoped you would want to put me on someday.” He repeats his rule, that his writers will never be allowed to perform on the show. And just as they come back from commercial, Midge says, “I’ve just never been great about following the rules.” 
Midge tells the audience that she never came here to be a writer—she’s a comedienne, so she’s going to do just that. Gordon tries to stop her as she gets up to walk to the microphone, but she’s defiant. And with that, she embarks on the longest and most impressive four minutes of her life, harkening back to her first time on the Gaslight stage. It’s Brosnahan at her best, reminding us that we’ve been the lucky ones getting to watch her in this role the past five seasons.
“It was so terrifying and really cathartic,” Brosnahan said of Midge’s stand-up act, which was definitely longer than four minutes. “To step onto this set and do Midge’s first prolonged mental breakdown at the Gaslight in 2016, and then to be able to do this final set was really cathartic. All the emotions are real. In true Maisel fashion, I had about 48 hours [to learn] the full script. But I was so struck how enveloped I felt in love when doing that scene. I’ve never been so uplifted by a group of colleagues in my life.” Borstein added, “Every single take Rachel did was perfect. It was phenomenal.”
Phenomenal could also be used to describe the final few lines of Midge’s act, written by creator Amy Sherman-Palladino. “They say that ambition is an unattractive trait in a woman,” Midge says. “Maybe. But you know what’s really unattractive? Waiting around for something to happen, staring out a window thinking the life you should be living is out there somewhere but not being willing to open the door and go get it, even if someone tells you you can’t.”
In that moment, Brosnahan says her final “Thank you and goodnight!” while a jubilant Midge takes in the applause. She then catches Gordon’s eye, who is standing over at his desk, completely in awe of his “lady writer.” He then gestures for her to come over to the couch for an interview. 
“Folks, I don’t think you got a proper introduction to this lady,” he says. “And I’m going to remedy that right now. Ladies and gentlemen, making her first, but definitely not last, appearance on The Gordon Ford Show, the magnificent, the magical, the marvelous Mrs. Maisel!”
Midge—and Brosnahan—barely hold it together, as Brosnahan later reveals that she sobbed when Reid Scott (Gordon Ford) said that line at the final table read. 
The marvelous Mrs. Maisel, indeedPhilippe Antonello/Prime Video
What’s interesting is that even though Midge told Susie she didn’t care if Susie needed to call in a favor to get her on the show, it really was Midge who made her big moment happen. When all the cards seemed stack against her, Midge came through for herself when it meant the most.
“[The show] doesn’t claim that success will make you happy,” Brosnahan said in response to moderator Maureen Lee Lenker asking about Midge’s ending. “Or that having it all will fulfill every need you have. But Midge and Susie did what they set out to do.”
The episode doesn’t end there. At the end of the segment, Gordon whispers “you’re fired” into Midge’s ear, but she’s fine with it. She accomplished her goal. Susie—with tears in her eyes—knows it too. 
Then we rewind six months to snowy New York as Midge and Lenny sit inside the Wo Hop Chinese restaurant. It’s right after Midge and Lenny slept together, when he said he was going to take her out for some really terrible Chinese food. While finishing dinner, he opens her fortune cookie and tells her it says, “The spotlight waits for you center stage. All you have to do is step up and claim it. Once you do, everyone will know who you are, they will know your wit, intellect, smile, great expressive eyes, they will be helpless to your charms…” Midge realizes he’s making it up, but Lenny says, “Mark my words, in the very near, not so distant future, you will be paying for Chinese food.” She takes the fortune from him, which has only those lucky numbers on it. 
Said Kirby, “I thought it was a very effective ending to this chapter. I was over the moon.” And here’s a fun fact: Brosnahan and Kirby wrote their character names on a dollar bill and stuck it on the ceiling of that Chinese restaurant. “It’s in there somewhere,” she says. 
With that, the series does its last flash-forward; it’s 2005, and Midge (in her 70s) is sitting in her office penthouse as her team relays her upcoming schedule. After they leave, she wanders throughout her expansive penthouse apartment, straightens the framed wedding photo of her and Joel, and then eats alone in the kitchen as her staff works around her. She eventually settles in for the evening in a small room, reminiscent of her old life back at the Weissman apartment, and calls Susie, who is literally among the birds, living her best life in a caftan. (“It’s very disconcerting to see yourself that old,” Borstein deadpanned.) 
Midge has called Susie so they can watch Jeopardy!together on VHS tape. (“We have to hear the answers at the same time!” Midge shouts.) Even in their lavish settings, it’s the simpleness of watching a game show together that brings these two peace. They laugh until it hurts, and then the scene fades to black. As the credits roll, images of iconic Maisel locations are shown, from Steiner Resort in the Catskills to the Fontainebleau in Miami, and viewers are left knowing that Midge and Susie have gotten what they wanted: success. 
And yet, as Borstein pointed out, “This show about these two strong women. They both get what they want, but they both are very much alone.” So would they say it was worth it? 
“I think the money Susie got brought her peace,” Borstein said. “She could take off the suspenders, the hat, the leather coat, and be in a big caftan where she could just breathe and be and take up all the space.” Added Brosnahan, “I think Midge thinks it was worth it. I asked Amy whether Joel and Midge would ever get back together back in season one, and she said they’d never be on the same page again and she’ll always look back at the day before Joel left her as the happiest day of her life. I love that both of those things live inside Midge. She’s never been as happy as she was, but she’s also led this deeply fulfilling and curious life that would otherwise not be true.”
Other Maisel Fun Facts:
Brosnahan says the gray dress with the red, white, and blue bow that Midge wore on her first day at B. Altman is her favorite look. 
Midge’s suit at B. Altman department store in season twoNicole Rivelli/Prime Video
All the photos on the piano in the final flash-forward were of Midge with other famous celebrities. “We spent an entire day taking photos and photoshopping me into photos that are on the piano with every famous person.”
Throughout the series run, Midge had 320 costume changes. The costume department also built over 800 hats, shopped from over 2,270 vintage shops, and fit 38,000 background actors. 
Finally, according to Emmy-winning costume designer Donna Zakowska, other than the end of season one (although we do see flashbacks to her wedding dress), Midge finished every season dressed in white, which Zakowska called “cleaning the palette.” Let’s take a look, shall we?
Midge at the end of season twoNicole Rivelli Photographie
Midge at the end of season threePhilippe Antonello/Prime Video
Midge at the end of season fourPrime Video
Midge at the end of season fivePhilippe Antonello/Prime Video
And with that, thank you and goodnight.
Jessica Radloff is the Glamour senior West Coast editor and author of the New York Times best-selling bookThe Big Bang Theory: The Definitive, Inside Story of the Epic Hit Series, available here.
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methamvitamins · 7 months
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Over The Counter
It rained all day today
as I stood underneath my busted umbrella, frayed wires
disjointed like the legs of an upturned spiders
thin plastic stretched inside out
I’m standing in the garden and the rain trickles down my back
down my legs, I feel it between my toes soaking through my socks
this small, miserable island loves the company of the rain
drip drip dripping down my nose, the back of my neck
I’m smoking the rest of my hash, compliments of Tom from down the pissah
The finest hash in Greenford. Apparently. Absolute pisstake.
he’s not a pisshead but he’s always down at the local like it was church
divorced, loves his son - nasty cunt when he’s pissed though
it’s not even the piss he worships
the pint glass is the pew, the open air carries his hymns of yearning,
searching for a way to fix his life, to move on,
the conspiracy theories won’t help that Tom fucks sake
so I’m smoking his shit
the house is empty, I’m blasting that loud and narsty heavy rock music
it seeps out through the cracks of the windows, the border between my world and the other
my neighbours must hate me
the shit is weak but it momentarily affords a lifting of my disposition,
staring out into the grey of the garden, eyes momentarily resting on the mound,
the aftermath of where I buried my dog I miss the poor cunt
A shave, a shit, I’m undressed, steamin, the tub has been filled
and I wish for my flesh to slide off the bone in molten rock, pulled-me
my face is attractive…ish, my hair is a pain in the arse
knotted and tangled curls, it could be tougher but it could be easier too
everybody says I look like Lenny Kravitz, my mates think it’s the nose ring
I think it’s slight racism
I look frumpy? I feel frumpy. I feel grumpy and dissatisfied, unmotivated
and lazy
was always a lazy child, it never mattered if I was captain of the basketball team
never mattered if I could run a half marathon
can’t be arsed to wash the dishes damn fucking right
I see myself in a flesh coloured bin bag, nobody to take me out, I jiggle too much
my mother ensures I eat, despite inspiring my not wanting to eat
I am not a mother.
I love her so dearly it breaks me sometimes
Sliding in feels like how I want death to feel like
smooth, easy, hot, painful, like a real good orgasm - feel it in your spine in your joints
I let the water wash and fall over me like I’m a sinking ship, nobody to come down with/on me
I feel my body, the curves of my thighs to underneath my crotch, the sparse hair that grows under my arms
the water pulls back on my wrist as I push it forward, making me work to feel my skin under chewed callouses and chipped nails
a form of self comfort because it is just myself that will over to myself physical comfort
where I desire lips I must substitute with my index and middle fingers as I trace a path down my torso, over and under mounds of skin and flab, my stomach, discolourations of stretch marks
a scene of a storming sky, lightning bolts etched onto my flesh
I want to feel sexy but touching my sex only reminds me what I am to anybody but myself
an empty vessel to be filled with the desires of beholding eyes
I’m black but I ain’t black, ya dig?
Like, I ain’t Dikembe Mutumbo but I ain’t Stephen Curry either, I’m like a Malcolm
or a Lenny
I’m the good type of black; black enough to dehumanise, fair enough to admire
I know the type, you look way too young to be double my age and you love it
I bet you keep it tight, gym leggings or tight jeans, this is what my eyes tell me
you might even forgo the SPF, a bit of sun might make it look like you just got back from Spain
I can see a ring on that finger you are now currently trying to run up my arm whilst I am
“just trying to do my job darlin" (I hate myself)
God you are so sexy, how do you keep so relaxed? Her husband must be preoccupied with stocks or some shit
did you know, making over fifty grand (very low ball, let’s be generous) a year makes the decadence of fucking your posh wife in your dinky little Kensington apartment (London is expensive!) so attractive that, instead of going home and giving your wife that arse-up-tits-over-the-balcony-oh-so-good-loving, you’ll probably end up staying back after work with your cock in hand too busy getting off to the idea of that whilst working on making an extra ten grand by the end of the next financial year? the fuck do I know?
I know that this woman clearly doesn’t get fucked enough to not realise harassing the help is a bad idea
I’m the help aren’t I? I’m not staff, I’m a mulatto male whore allowed to live inside with Massa —
his wife loves to make eyes with me from across the table, accidentally dropping her shit
losing her shit
bumping arse onto my hardening resolve
I am so uncomfortable. but you love it though yeah?
cursed with good looks and blessed with fair skin
I would like to feel sexy but I cannot flex my aggression because that would be suicide
dropped as easy as I am picked up
reaching climax was meant to centre my passions but here I am
filled with more anger than love
watching from the ceiling as my cum drips off my hand and into the rocking bath water
Feeling like this body is not mine feeling in desperation for a part of me that feels like me
a shudder and a deep exhale
When they look at me are they really seeing Lenny?
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newsiesjathrine · 8 months
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Took a while but my masterlist is done there will be open requests for now while I work on some of my own ideas so here it is
Masterlist:
Nics
Faith
Grace
Kate
Gibbs
Abby
Ducky
Mcgee
Ziva
Jimmy
Jack
Kasie
Jessica
Jenny
Vance
Tony
Ellie
Nick
Reeves(Clayton)
Alex
Maddie
Kelly
Kayla
Emily
Johnny
morgan
Tobais
jackie
Ncis new orleans
Naomi
Dwyane
Laurel
Chris
Sonja
Meredith
Loretta
Sebastian
Patton
Tammy
Hannah
Quitnten
Connor
David
Jimmy
natilie
Ncis la
Chris O'Donnell
G. Callen
Main
Peter Cambor
Nate Getz
Main
Recurring
Guest
Recurring
Guest
Daniela Ruah
Kensi Blye
Main
Adam Jamal Craig
Dominic Vail
Main[a]
LL Cool J
Sam Hanna
Main
Linda Hunt
Hetty Lange
Main[b]
Guest
Barrett Foa
Eric Beale
Main[c]
Eric Christian Olsen
Marty Deeks
Guest
Main
Renée Felice Smith
Nell Jones
Main[d]
Guest
Miguel Ferrer
Owen Granger
Recurring
Main[e]
Nia Long
Shay Mosley
Main[f]
Medalion Rahimi
Fatima Namazi
Recurring
Main[g]
Caleb Castille
Devin Rountree
Recurring
Main
Gerald McRaney
Hollace Kilbride
Guest
Recurring
Guest
Recurring
Main
Ncis hawaii
Alex
Julie
Maggie
Carla
Jane
Daniel
Ernie
Kathrine Marie "Kate"
Jesse
Kai
Rizzoli and isles
casey
lyida
Jane
Maura(dn)
Angela
Vince
Barry
Susie
Nina
Frankie
Tommy
Tj
Sean cavangh
Constance
Hope
Calin
Womens murder club
Linsday
Claire
Cindy
Jill
Inspector Warren Jacobi (Tyrees Allen) – Lindsay's loyal partner. He was up for the lieutenant position that went to Tom, but has not expressed much disappointment that he didn't get the job, seeming to prefer field work to the politics of the higher position. He also seems to prefer the finer things in life, having an affinity for wine, 30-year-old whiskey, and opera. He is thrice-divorced and has a child from one of those marriages.
Lieutenant Tom Hogan (Rob Estes) – Lindsay's ex-husband, who in the first episode was promoted to lieutenant and assigned as her boss. He is engaged in the pilot and has remarried by "To Drag and to Hold," but he still worries that Lindsay's obsession with her work will consume her. Tom was played by Christopher Wiehl in the unaired pilot.
Deputy District Attorney Denise Kwon (Linda Park) - Jill's immediate superior at the DA's office, she clashes with her over her "bleeding heart" style. She is also antagonistic towards Jill due to her past romantic history with Hanson North. When the show returned after the writers' strike, the first episode credits no longer showed her name. But by the second episode, she was back in the credits as a series regular.
Recurring cast[edit]
Luke Bowen (Coby Ryan McLaughlin) – Jill's ex-boyfriend. He is an ER doctor at the fictional Mission Cross North. Jill and Luke have recently broken up after he finds that she had slept with Hanson.
Hanson North (Kyle Secor) – Defense attorney who has a romantic history with Jill and is currently seeing her boss, Denise Kwon.
Ed Washburn (Jonathan Adams) – Claire's husband. Currently uses a wheelchair full-time after being shot while serving as a police officer.
Heather Hogan née Donnelly (Ever Carradine) – Tom's new wife. She is a kindergarten teacher who is eco-friendly, planning a green wedding.
Pete Raynor (Joel Gretsch) – Lindsay's love interest in season 1, who is in town for only two weeks.
Law and order
Actor
Character
Rank/Position
Seasons
Notes
Regular
Recurring
Guest
George Dzundza
Max Greevey
Sergeant
1
Chris Noth
Mike Logan
Junior Detective
1–5
Appeared in Exiled
Dann Florek
Donald Cragen
Captain
1–3
5, 10, 15
Appeared in Exiled
Michael Moriarty
Ben Stone
EADA
1–4
Richard Brooks
Paul Robinette
ADA
1–3
6, 16–17
Steven Hill
Adam Schiff
DA
1–10
Paul Sorvino
Phil Cerreta
Sergeant
2–3
3
Jerry Orbach
Lennie Briscoe
Senior Detective
3–14
Appeared in Exiled
Carolyn McCormick
Elizabeth Olivet
Psychologist
3–4
5–7, 13–14,
16–18
2, 9–10, 19–20
S. Epatha Merkerson
Anita Van Buren
Lieutenant
4–20
Appeared in Exiled
Jill Hennessy
Claire Kincaid
ADA
4–6
Sam Waterston
Jack McCoy
EADA,
Interim DA,
DA
5–17,
18–present
Appeared in Exiled
Benjamin Bratt
Rey Curtis
Junior Detective
6–9
20
Appeared in Exiled
Carey Lowell
Jamie Ross
ADA
7–8
10–11, 21
Angie Harmon
Abbie Carmichael
ADA
9–11
Jesse L. Martin
Ed Green
Junior Detective,
Senior Detective
10–16
17–18
Dianne Wiest
Nora Lewin
Interim DA
11–12
Elisabeth Röhm
Serena Southerlyn
ADA
12–15
Fred Dalton Thompson
Arthur Branch
DA
13–17
Dennis Farina
Joe Fontana
Senior Detective
15–16
Michael Imperioli
Nick Falco
Junior Detective
15
16
Temporarily assigned
Annie Parisse
Alexandra Borgia
ADA
15–16
Milena Govich
Nina Cassady
Junior Detective
17
Alana de la Garza
Connie Rubirosa
ADA
17–20
Jeremy Sisto
Cyrus Lupo
Junior Detective,
Senior Detective
18
18–20
Linus Roache
Michael Cutter
EADA
18–20
Anthony Anderson
Kevin Bernard
Junior Detective,
Senior Detective
18–20
21
18
Jeffrey Donovan
Frank Cosgrove
Junior Detective,
Senior Detective
21
22–present
Camryn Manheim
Kate Dixon
Lieutenant
21–present
Hugh Dancy
Nolan Price
EADA
21–present
Odelya Halevi
Samantha Maroun
ADA
21–present
Mehcad Brooks
Jalen Shaw
Junior Detective
22–
Law and order svu
Jenna
Maureen
Kathleen
Richard
Elizabeth
Eli
Noah
Jessie
Mason
Billie
Olivia
Elliot Stabler
Christopher Meloni
Sr. Detective
Main
Recurring
274
Olivia Benson
Mariska Hargitay
Jr. Detective (S1–12)
Sr. Detective (S13–15)
Sergeant (S15–17)
Lieutenant (S17–21)
Captain (S21–)
Main
508
John Munch
Richard Belzer
Sr. Detective (S1–8)
Sergeant (S9–15)
Main
G
326
Donald Cragen
Dann Florek
Captain (S1–15)
Main
G
G
332
Monique Jeffries
Michelle Hurd
Jr. Detective
M
25
Alexandra Cabot
Stephanie March
Assistant DA
Main
G
R
M
R
G
97
Fin Tutuola
Ice-T
Jr. Detective (S2–8)
Sr. Detective (S9–19)
Sergeant (S19–)
Main
476
George Huang
BD Wong
Psychiatrist (S2–15)
R
Main
Guest
G
230
Casey Novak
Diane Neal
Assistant DA
Main
G
R
112
Melinda Warner
Tamara Tunie
Chief Medical Examiner
Recurring
Main
Recurring
G
Guest
226
Chester Lake
Adam Beach
Jr. Detective
R
M
21
Kim Greylek
Michaela McManus
Assistant DA
M
22
Nick Amaro
Danny Pino
Jr. Detective
Main
G
95
Amanda Rollins
Kelli Giddish
Jr. Detective (S13–21)
Sr. Detective (S21–24)
Main
226
Rafael Barba
Raúl Esparza
Assistant DA (S14-19)
Defense Attorney (S21-23)
R
Main
Guest
118
Dominick Carisi
Peter Scanavino
Jr. Detective (S16–20)
Assistant DA (S21–)
Main
155
Peter Stone
Philip Winchester
Assistant DA
M
36
Katriona Tamin
Jamie Gray Hyder
Officer (S21–22)
Jr. Detective (S22–23)
Main
36
Christian Garland
Demore Barnes
Deputy Chief
R
M
25
Joe Velasco
Octavio Pisano
Jr. Detective
M
15
Grace Muncy
Molly Burnett
Jr. Detective
Law and order oc
Danielle Moné Truitt as Sergeant Ayanna Bell, squad supervisor of the OCCB task force and Stabler's current direct superior and partner.
Ainsley Seiger as Detective 2nd Grade Jet Slootmaekers, a former independent hacker who is recruited to the OCCB task force on Stabler's recommendation. She was requalified as an NYPD officer to work with the OCCB task force. In season 3 episode 16 ("Chinatown"), she is promoted from Detective 3rd Grade to Detective 2nd Grade.
Tamara Taylor as Prof. Angela Wheatley (seasons 1–2), a former math professor at Columbia University, ex-wife of Richard Wheatley, and a suspect in the hit ordered on Kathy Stabler. She committed suicide and presumably murdered Richard at the same time after discovering that Richard was responsible for her son Richie's murder.
Dylan McDermott as Richard Wheatley (seasons 1–2), son of notorious mobster Manfredi Sinatra, now a businessman and owner of an online pharmaceutical company who leads a second life as a crime boss, and was a suspect in the murder of Stabler's wife. He was presumed murdered by Angela after she discovered that Wheatley murdered their son Richie.
Nona Parker Johnson as Detective 3rd Grade Carmen "Nova" Riley (season 2, recurring season 2), an undercover narcotics detective working under Brewster's command to infiltrate the Marcy Killers. She retires from the NYPD and leaves New York after the murder of the gang's leader Preston Webb.
Brent Antonello as Detective 2nd Grade Jamie Whelan (season 3), a detective with the OCCB. In the season 3 finale, he is shot and paralyzed by Kyle Wilkie and later dies in the hospital.
Rick Gonzalez as Detective 2nd Grade Bobby Reyes (season 3–present), an undercover detective with the OCCB.
Chicago pd
Jason Beghe as Sergeant Henry "Hank" Voight, the enigmatic and often mercurial chief of the Chicago P.D.'s Intelligence Unit. Despite his brutal, tough exterior, he is loyal to the cops and detectives serving under him and highly "dedicated" to the victims of the crimes his unit investigates to the point of committing human rights violations, mainly torture, and not respecting the law. He is first introduced in Chicago Fire as a dirty cop who clashes with CFD Lieutenant Matthew Casey after Voight's son, Justin, causes an accident in which a teenager is paralyzed, and Casey, who was first on scene, had intended to testify that Justin was DUI. He is arrested by Det. Antonio Dawson for trying to have Casey silenced by force but is later released from prison and reinstated to the police force by Internal Affairs. As a result, many of Casey's colleagues dislike him, and Casey's superior Chief Boden has a love-hate working relationship with him. It is eventually revealed in the Chicago Fire episode "Let Her Go" that his dirty cop alter ego was part of an undercover operation to catch criminals and other dirty cops. Prior to taking command of Intelligence, Voight worked in the Gang Unit. His father Richard was a former CPD officer who was killed in the line of duty. Voight is a widower; his wife, Camille, died of cancer some years prior. His son, Justin, served in the Army and was killed in the last episode of season 3 while trying to help a friend. Voight took an interest in Erin Lindsay at 14 and raised her as his daughter.
Jon Seda as Senior Detective Antonio Dawson (seasons 1–6), an Intelligence Unit detective who previously arrested Voight for harassment and has since worked alongside him. Unlike Voight, he has limits on how far he will go to get criminals off the streets, as shown by the fact that he asks Halstead to stop Voight from killing anyone while on the hunt for Pulpo because he does not want it on his conscience. He and his ex-wife Laura have two children: Diego and Eva. He is the older brother of Chicago Fire character Gabriela "Gabby" Dawson. In season 4, he is offered a job at the State's Attorney's Office as Lead Investigator, which he accepts. After becoming disillusioned with the job, he returns to the unit in the first episode of season 5. In season 6, Antonio struggles with recovering from a shoulder injury and dependency on the oxycodone he is taking for the pain. After a dealer he owes kidnaps, beats, and rapes his daughter, Antonio, high on oxy, kills him in revenge. Though Voight and Ruzek manage to cover up the incident as self-defense, and Antonio successfully recovers in rehab, mayor-hopeful Superintendent Brian Kelton later gets the case reopened in order to take down the Intelligence Unit, and in the season finale, Antonio relapses after Ruzek is arrested after taking the blame for everything to protect him. In the season 7 premiere, it is revealed that Voight found Antonio and checked him into an off-the-books rehab clinic to get him clean again while also protecting his career. It was revealed several episodes later that Antonio resigned and moved to Puerto Rico to spend more time with his family.
Sophia Bush as Detective Erin Lindsay (seasons 1–4),[7] a tough Intelligence Unit detective and former CI whom Voight took under his wing when she was a juvenile delinquent. Because of this, she is closer to Voight than the other members of the unit. She has a half-brother, Teddy Courtney, who was taken by a pedophile ring at age thirteen and was found turning tricks in New York City 10 years later. She was in a relationship with her partner Jay Halstead from seasons 2 to 4. Near the end of the fourth season, Lindsay is accused of assault after she sticks her gun down a pedophile's throat in the interrogation room; facing possible dismissal from the police force, she accepts a job offer at the FBI in New York and leaves Chicago.
Jesse Lee Soffer as Senior Detective Jay Halstead (seasons 1–10), an Intelligence Unit detective who was Detective Lindsay's partner. A former Army Ranger, he is confident in his abilities and sometimes comes across as cocky. He also suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder, shown progressively during Season 5, later seeking therapy for it. He is the older brother of Chicago Med character Dr. Will Halstead. He was in a relationship with his partner Erin Lindsay from season 2 until she transferred to the FBI in New York at the end of season 4. He later marries fellow detective Hailey Upton in season 9. Following Olinsky's death and Antonio's resignation, Halstead becomes Voight's right-hand. He later resigns from the force early in season 10 after becoming disillusioned with the gray area the Intelligence Unit has to work in, and returns to the Army in a new job hunting drug cartels in Bolivia.
Patrick John Flueger as Officer Adam Ruzek, a younger police officer recruited straight out of the academy by Olinsky to do undercover work. He is often portrayed as an overeager amateur who dives headfirst into a situation without thinking. His parents are separated, and he split time between his father, "Disco Bob" Ruzek (Jack Coleman), a longtime patrol officer with the 26th District who lives in Beverly, and his mother in Canaryville. He was engaged to fellow police officer Kim Burgess.
Marina Squerciati as Officer Kim Burgess, a former flight attendant turned uniformed patrol officer who was Atwater's partner. She was then partnered with Sean Roman before his departure. Burgess is shot in "Called in Dead" and spends the next episode recovering. She was engaged to Adam Ruzek; the relationship is later broken off because of commitment issues. She later develops feelings for Roman before he moves to San Diego. In season 4, she is offered a job in Intelligence, which she accepts.
LaRoyce Hawkins as Officer Kevin Atwater, a uniformed patrol officer who was Burgess' former partner until he was promoted to the Intelligence Unit. He is responsible for caring for his younger siblings, his brother, Jordan, and sister, Vanessa. After his brother testifies to a grand jury about a crime he witnessed, and Vanessa is threatened with rape for her brother being a snitch, he sends them to live with their aunt in Texas.
Archie Kao as Detective Sheldon Jin (season 1), a tech and surveillance expert. He was discovered to be a reluctant mole working for Internal Affairs sergeant Edwin Stillwell, who had leverage to make him cooperate. He is found murdered in the first-season finale episode, "A Beautiful Friendship".
Elias Koteas as Senior Detective Alvin Olinsky (seasons 1–5), a veteran undercover officer and a friend of Voight who previously worked with him in the Gang Unit. Before joining the force, Olinsky served in the 173rd Airborne Brigade Combat Team stationed in Vicenza, Italy. Olinsky mentions in "Called in Dead" that he has eight confirmed kills in the line of duty. At the end of the fifth season, Olinsky is arrested for the murder of Kevin Bingham, the man who murdered Voight's son, Justin, and is later stabbed to death via a hit in prison while awaiting trial.
Amy Morton as Sergeant Trudy Platt (season 2–present; recurring season 1), a sarcastic desk sergeant of District 21, and the immediate superior of the district's patrol officers. Before taking a desk job, she was a uniformed patrol officer, and worked with Dawson. She passed the detective's exam twice. Platt is married to Chicago Fire character Randy "Mouch" McHolland.
Brian Geraghty as Officer Sean Roman (seasons 2–3; guest season 7[8]), a brash patrol officer who partners with Burgess after transferring to the 2-1 from District 31. He transferred out because of his relationship with Jenn Cassidy (Spencer Grammer), who is now a K-9 officer, to avoid breaking fraternization rules. He has his own private security company on the side. After being wounded in the line of duty, and with the department feeling he would be unable to return to patrol, he resigns and decides to join the San Diego Police Department.
Tracy Spiridakos as Detective Hailey Upton Halstead (season 5–present; recurring season 4), a tough former robbery-homicide detective and Erin Lindsay's replacement following her departure to New York. Upton gets transferred to the FBI field office in New York City in season 7 episode 18, "Lines", to temporarily fill in for an agent undercover. She has great relationships with her CIs and goes to many lengths to protect them. Despite a dark turn in Season 7, she is mostly a "by the book" detective. She is married to former Detective Jay Halstead.
Lisseth Chavez as Officer Vanessa Rojas (season 7), a rookie and Antonio Dawson's replacement following his resignation. She previously worked in an undercover operations unit.
Benjamin Levy Aguilar as Officer Dante Torres (season 10; guest season 9[9]), a recruit who had a complicated past and was recruited under Detective Halstead's wing.Recurring[edit]
Samuel Caleb Hunt as Greg "Mouse" Gerwitz (seasons 1–4), the tech and surveillance expert for the Intelligence Unit who replaces Detective Jin. He had served in the same Army unit as Halstead. After he persuades Voight to get a felony expunged, he resigns from Intelligence to reenlist in the Army.
Stella Maeve as Nadia Decotis (seasons 1–2), an 18-year-old former escort and addict whom Lindsay tries and succeeds in helping. She later becomes the Intelligence Unit's civilian administrative aide and was studying to be a police officer. She was murdered by Dr. Gregory Yates in Law & Order: SVU's 16th season, episode "Daydream Believer", the conclusion of the season's second SVU/Chicago crossover event.
Jordan
Vanessa
The lizzie bennet diaries
Elizabeth "Lizzie" Bennet (Ashley Clements;[11] Elizabeth Bennet in the novel) is the middle Bennet sister and the narrator of most of the vlogs. She is a graduate student studying mass communications and, like her original counterpart, believes women should be highly educated and do more with their lives than simply pursue husbands. She is very close with her best friend, Charlotte Lu, who was born on the same day as she, as well as her older sister, Jane, while appearing to have a more strained relationship with her younger sister, Lydia. While it is clear that she cares for her family and friends, she can also be fairly prejudiced and quick to judge people who she perceives as condescending or a threat to her way of life, such as Darcy and, at first, Bing Lee.
Charlotte Lu (Julia Cho;[12] Charlotte Lucas in the novel) is Lizzie's best friend and often the director/editor of her vlog. Charlotte wants to be a filmmaker and convinced Lizzie to start her vlog as part of a school project. While the original character of Charlotte Lucas from the books is a minor character, Lu's role in The Lizzie Bennet Diaries has been greatly expanded; she appears in many of the beginning episodes, and, according to both Lizzie and Jane, practically lives at the Bennet house. Charlotte and Lizzie have a falling out after Charlotte accepts Ricky Collins' job offer (which Lizzie originally turned down), but the two soon reconcile.
Jane Bennet (Laura Spencer[13]) is the eldest of the Bennet children, and an overworked, underpaid merchandise coordinator in the fashion world. She is incredibly polite, sweet and, according to Lizzie, "practically perfect in every way."[14] When Bing Lee moves into town, Jane is immediately smitten with him, much to the absolute joy of her mother. Jane is devastated by Bing's sudden departure. She moves to Los Angeles for both a new job and the hope of reconnecting with Bing. She later returns to her home to support her sister Lydia through her difficulties. After this is resolved, Jane is offered a new job in New York City and reconciles with Bing.
Lydia Britney Bennet (Mary Kate Wiles[15]) is the youngest Bennet child, currently attending community college. She is "feisty, energetic, and unapologetic."[16] Lizzie, somewhat less kindly, describes her as "too old to be on any reality shows about having babies in high school."[14] She has also created a series of her own videos starring herself, her cousin Mary, and her cat, Kitty.[17] On the occasion of her 21st birthday in December 2012, she and Lizzie get into a bitter argument about Lydia's perceived immaturity, and Lydia makes plans to vacation in Las Vegas for New Year's Eve, where she meets George Wickham and begins dating. Later, after being the victim of George Wickham's money-making site, she makes up with her sisters.
Bing Lee (Christopher Sean;[18] Charles Bingley in the novel) is a young, wealthy Asian-American medical student who has moved into The Netherfield House in the same neighborhood as the Bennets. He quickly falls for Jane Bennet and begins to date her. Bing abruptly leaves Netherfield and Jane by returning to Los Angeles, breaking Jane's heart, after Darcy suggests that Jane is only engaging in a relationship with him for his money and Caroline tells him that Jane flirted with another guy at his birthday party. However, after a run-in with Lizzie during her time at Pemberley Digital, he makes a return, having quit medical school to pursue his own passions. He and Jane move to New York together in episode 92.
Caroline Lee (Jessica Jade Andres;[19] Caroline Bingley in the novel) is Bing Lee's sister. She is aware of Lizzie's vlog diaries and appears to help Lizzie keep Bing and Darcy from discovering them during Lizzie and Jane's stay at Netherfield. She has a romantic interest in William Darcy, although her feelings aren't reciprocated. She is later revealed to have attempted to manipulate events to keep Bing and Jane apart, as well as (to a lesser extent) stymie Darcy's feelings for Lizzie. Caroline reappears in the sequel, Emma Approved, as Senator James Elton's fiancé, replacing Augusta Elton, the original wife of Philip Elton, from the novel.[20]
Ricky Collins (Maxwell Glick;[21] William Collins in the novel) is a former classmate of Lizzie and Charlotte's, who asks that he be addressed only as Mr. Collins. He has formed an alliance with venture capitalist Catherine de Bourgh, to attempt a foray into the world of web video. Mr. Collins frequently visits the Bennets while in town for a few weeks and, near the end of his stay, offers Lizzie a lucrative job at his company, Collins and Collins. Lizzie turns him down, so he offers the job to Charlotte, who accepts. This decision causes a brief but bitter argument between the two best friends, but they reconcile after Charlotte invites Lizzie to visit Collins & Collins (in the fictional town of Hunsford, California), where Lizzie also learns to tolerate Mr. Collins.
William Darcy (Daniel Vincent Gordh;[22] Fitzwilliam Darcy in the novel) is Bing Lee's best friend and the wealthy heir to an entertainment corporation called Pemberley Digital. He stays with Bing and Caroline at Netherfield until they all leave for Los Angeles. He first meets Lizzie at a wedding, and she overheard him telling Bing that she was "decent enough", which is when her dislike towards him starts. He is described by Lizzie as a snobby and condescending robot, and Jane has difficulty coming up with a flattering descriptor of him, beyond "tall";[23] Charlotte, however, believes that Darcy has a crush on Lizzie.[24] For a long time, second-hand characterization is all the audience has to go by, as Darcy is referred to but never seen, making his first appearance in episodes 59[25] (only from the neck down) and 60,[26] where he confirms Charlotte's suspicions by confessing his love for Lizzie.
George Wickham (Wes Aderhold[27]) is the coach of a university swim team who forms a short-lived romantic attachment with Lizzie. He claims that though he and Darcy were childhood friends, Darcy ruined his life by withholding money Darcy's father had promised, thereby ending George's hopes of a college education.[28] He leaves town for work, eventually re-entering the story after New Year's Day, where he meets and becomes romantically involved with Lydia, as chronicled in her spin-off videos. At the same time, Lizzie learns that George gambled away all the money the elder Darcy left for him, and then took advantage of Gigi Darcy, William's sister, for more. Finally, he attempts to exploit "YouTube Star Lydia Bennet" by releasing a sex tape of the two of them online.[29]
Fitz Williams (Craig Frank;[30] Col. Fitzwilliam in the novel) is Darcy's friend and colleague. Lizzie meets him while dining with Catherine de Bourgh, Darcy's aunt and Charlotte's boss. He has a boyfriend, Brandon, whose name was officially confirmed on Fitz's Twitter, and is particularly good at making care-packages.
Georgiana "Gigi" Darcy (Allison Paige;[31] Georgiana Darcy in the novel) is William Darcy's younger sister and a graphic designer at Pemberley Digital. Her first appearance in The Lizzie Bennet Diaries was Episode 77. She is aware of the video diaries, and claims to like them. She and George Wickham were romantically involved, but this ended when William proved that George was taking advantage of her for the money. Twitter posts between Gigi and Fitz suggest that she actively tries to push Lizzie and Darcy together. She is also instrumental in helping to end George's money-making plot: though the website itself did not list his name and George had stopped returning calls, he answers Gigi when she calls him, allowing Fitz and Darcy to track him down. Thereafter Darcy bought out the company which owned the rights to the sex tape, preventing it from ever being released.
Mrs. Bennet is Lizzie's mother. She appears to be a traditional Southern woman, eager to see her daughters married and interested in little else besides neighborhood gossip. She is almost always impersonated by Lizzie.
Mr. Bennet is Lizzie's father. He appears more calm and levelheaded than his wife, though one of his favorite activities, according to Lizzie, is winding her up.[32] He has a special fondness for bonsai trees and prepares a train extravaganza every Christmas. He is often impersonated by Charlotte and Lydia.
Catherine de Bourgh (Lady Catherine de Bourgh in the novel) is Darcy's aunt and an extremely wealthy venture capitalist who is the primary investor in Collins & Collins, the new media firm run by Mr. Collins, where Charlotte accepts a job offer after Lizzie rejected it. Catherine is very attached to her sickly dog who she calls Annie Kins. She is quick with her opinions and judgements. Charlotte said that Catherine is "on Team Caroline," meaning that she wants her nephew to be with Caroline. She is impersonated by Lizzie, and Ashley Clements says her impression is a combination of Julia Child, Miranda Priestly and Dolores Umbridge.[33]
Mary Bennet (Briana Cuoco[34]) is Lydia, Jane, and Lizzie's cousin who has appeared sporadically in Lydia's vlogs and once in Lizzie's. She becomes better friends and occasional tutor with Lydia while Lydia is staying at her house despite their opposing personalities. She is often the "forgotten" character and her Twitter reads, "I am Mary, never forgotten." Mary also has a boyfriend by the name of Eddie (a subtle nod to the character of Edmund Bertram from Austen's Mansfield Park.)[35] In the novel, she is actually one of the five Bennet sisters, being the middle sister between Elizabeth and Kitty.
Kitty Bennet (Rosie of House Wiles) is Lydia's cat who appears in Lydia's vlogs. In the novel, she is actually one of the five Bennet sisters, being the second youngest after Lydia.
Maria
Clara
Chicago justice
Philip Winchester as Assistant State's Attorney Peter Stone, the Deputy Bureau Chief of the State's Attorney's Office Special Prosecutions Bureau. His father is Benjamin Stone, an assistant district attorney in New York City.[3] Stone would later become the ADA of the sex crimes bureau in New York.[4] He previously played professional baseball in the Chicago Cubs organization but his career ended when he tore his UCL.
Jon Seda as Chief Investigator Antonio Dawson. Before joining the State's Attorney's office, he worked as a detective in the 21st District with the Chicago P.D.
Joelle Carter as Investigator Laura Nagel. Also a former Chicago police officer like Dawson, Nagel left the force and developed an addiction to painkillers after a line-of-duty injury. She has been clean for months and is now struggling to regain custody of her daughter.
Monica Barbaro as Assistant State's Attorney Anna Valdez, Stone's second chair.
Carl Weathers as Cook County State's Attorney Mark Jefferies. He served as a Marine during the
Chicago med
Dr. William "Will" Halstead
Nick Gehlfuss
Attending Physician in Emergency Medicine
Main
April Sexton
Yaya DaCosta
Emergency Dept Nurse
Main
Recurring[1]
Dr. Natalie Manning
Torrey DeVitto
Pediatric Emergency Medicine Physician
Main[a]
Guest
Dr. Sarah Reese
Rachel DiPillo
First Year Psychiatry Resident
Main
Guest
Dr. Connor Rhodes
Colin Donnell
First Year Fellow/Attending Physician in Trauma & Cardiothoracic Surgery
Main[b]
Dr. Ethan Choi
Brian Tee
Lieutenant Commander, USNR; Emergency Medicine Attending Physician
Main
Sharon Goodwin
S. Epatha Merkerson
Executive Director of Patient and Medical Services
Main
Dr. Daniel Charles
Oliver Platt
Chief of Psychiatry
Main
Maggie Lockwood
Marlyne Barrett
Emergency Department Charge Nurse
Main[c]
Dr. Ava Bekker
Norma Kuhling
Second Year Fellow & later Attending Physician in Cardiothoracic Surgery
Recurring
Main[d]
Dr. Crockett Marcel
Dominic Rains
Fourth Year Resident & later Attending Physician in General Surgery
Main[e]
Dr. Dean Archer
Steven Weber
Interim Chief of Emergency Medicine and Trauma Attending Physician
Recurring
Main
Dr. Dylan Scott
Guy Lockard
Pediatric Emergency Medicine Physician
Main[f]
Dr. Stevie Hammer
Kristen Hager
Emergency Medicine Attending Physician
Main[g]
Dr. Hannah Asher
Jessy Schram
Emergency OB/GYN Attending Physician
Recurring
Guest
Main[h]
Chicago fire
Name
Portrayed by
Position
Seasons
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
Matthew Casey
Jesse Spencer
Lieutenant, Truck 81
Main[a]
Guest
Kelly Severide
Taylor Kinney
Lieutenant, Squad 3
Main
Gabriela Dawson
Monica Raymund
Paramedic in Charge, Firefighter
Main
Guest
Leslie Elizabeth Shay
Lauren German
Paramedic
Main
Guest
Peter Mills
Charlie Barnett
Firefighter, Paramedic
Main
Christopher Herrmann
David Eigenberg
Lieutenant, Engine 51
Main[b]
Dr. Hallie Thomas
Teri Reeves
Resident Physician
Main[b]
Wallace Boden
Eamonn Walker
Battalion Chief
Main
Brian "Otis" Zvonecek
Yuri Sardarov
Firefighter
Recurring
Main[c]
Randall "Mouch" McHolland
Christian Stolte
Firefighter
Recurring
Main
Joe Cruz
Joe Minoso
Firefighter, Engineer
Recurring
Main
Sylvie Brett
Kara Killmer
Paramedic
Main
Jessica "Chili" Chilton
Dora Madison
Paramedic
Guest
Main[d]
Jimmy Borelli
Steven R. McQueen
Firefighter Candidate, Paramedic
Main[e]
Stella Kidd
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heyitsyn · 3 years
Text
MANAGER!SEIJOH AU
a/n: this is kind of an au like what if you were
for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!
anon:
- 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 i would like to request a seijoh!manager reader who’s a first year and is siblings with ushi and the team’s reaction to finding out that she was supposed to go to shiratorizawa with ushi and their reaction with her getting along with the shiratorizawa volleyball team and maybe the manager is a small cute soft little energetic ball of sunshine 🥺🥺 also hewwo, hope youre doing well! ☺️ -🎷🐛
- Ir seijoh manager series is so gooood. Can we get something where by some weird reason yn-chan is close to ushijima and tendou and the seijoh boys dont know about it and how they'd react to her being so affectionate w them ahahwindkdn
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EVERYONE SHUT UP AND LOOK AT HOW FREAKING PRETTY TENDOU IS LIKE AKLFDJLASKFJDLSKFJDSFLKD
okayokayokay
so this is a what if thing
like what if ushijima was your older brother
SLKFDJADFLIJSDKLDF I CAN ALREADY IMAGINE OIKAWA SCREAMING
you didnt exactly have the best relationship with your mom
you remember when you were younger that she used to yell at your brother for using his left hand and you got angry a lot because you were fiercely protective of your brother
this caused her to yell at you too for being nosy and being involved in something you shouldnt be in
duh we know that ushi’s dad takashi actually supported him for this and protected him too and you were also a papa’s girl so you always ran to him
he understood you both better and while your mother worked, he was at home taking care of you two
then when they mentioned wanting to separate, you were very sad but somewhat relieved
mostly because you hated hearing your parents arguing and you felt bad for your brother as he constantly did whatever to get you out of the house
thats what brought on your love for volleyball
you werent exactly the best player but you were interested in it and often watched matches with him
but you also liked volleyball because your brother liked it
you liked whatever your brother liked
he adored you too and he was a boy who didnt talk much due to your mother but he was always a talker with you
especially when you couldnt sleep, he would sneak you out of your room and you both would run to the kitchen and eat ice cream
even with just a 2 year age difference, he looked as if he was older than you due to his massive height
‘just wait nii-chan! i will drink enough milk to reach your height!’
*insert lenny face*
AKLDJFSLDKFJDF I HATE MYSELF
CAN I PLEASE DIE
however
when they divorced, you thought your father would take both you and ushi
like the lady at the court even asked you where you wanted to go and not a breath of hesitation you chose your father
you weren’t very concerned because you knew your brother was going to choose your dad as you both were closer to him
so imagine your surprise when he said he didnt care and naturally, the mother would get the child
lowkey you felt hella betrayed and when your dad whisked you away overseas, there was this grudge you held against toshi
yall youre like 5
i would be hella mad too if my brother chose the person who yells at him all the time
in california, your father made sure you still remembered your brother and you tried to detach from the japanese lifestyle to your new one but you just couldnt
maybe around 6 years you were already fed up with the hot california heat and you wanted to go back to japan to see toshi again
you got over that grudge years ago but your mother refused to have any contact or anything to do with your father and so that included you too
she refused to let you both video chat and any type of connection
your dad obviously noticed your sad expressions and your obvious longing to go back to your brother again and so he arranged something
you shut the door gently before taking off your shoes by the doorway
the large house was often quiet except for the constant typing of a keyboard in your father’s study
‘tadaima’
you meekly mumbled but his sense of hearing never wavered so he heard your voice
‘oh? y/n?’
his voice echoed through the hallways and you heard his chair squeak as it was moved back so he could stand
your sock-cladded feet padded against the hard wood floor and you walked towards his study where indeed he was standing there
your father has definitely aged yet his job as a coach made him as fit as he was decades ago
as much as it disgusted you, you could tell what your friends meant when they said your dad was good-looking
they actually said your dad was hot but you refuse to acknowledge that
you and your friends are like 12 tf
you closed the door and sat down on the loveseat at the corner of the room as it was your designated spot
‘hey, papa’
you greeted with a smile and he gave you the same grin
‘i ordered f/f (favorite food) for dinner tonight so try and listen for the bell to ring, okay?’
you nodded
there was bit of small talk and you asked about his team while he asked about school and you both arranged to hang out over the weekend at some ice cream shop
the conversation dragged on until you heard the doorbell and you ran to the door to answer the delivery man
your dad put out the plates on the table and you excitedly dug in
‘also, you remember your grandmother? and her terrible back?’
oh god of course you did
they lived about 30 minutes away from your house in japan and she constantly worried your father bc the woman was approaching 90 and was still picking peppers!
with old coach ukai
‘what did she do now?’
your father chuckled at the exasperation in your voice
‘she misses you. says something about the family’s princess needing to go back to her country or something’
there was a smile in your face
your grandmother was your favorite and she always said you were the princess
she hated your mother because of how insensitive she was so she only acknowledged you as the only other female in the family
obviously your brother was also liked but there was just a special bond between you and your grandmother
‘so when are we going back?’
you asked and it was clear that you were excited at the thought of going back to japan as you havent been back since you moved due to your father’s busy job and your school
takashi swallowed his food before revealing the news
‘actually, if you want, you could finish your schooling there. but only until college first though because your old man needs you over here too’
nah bro you didnt even care about the last part
literally your fork fell to the table and you shrieked 
‘WHAT?! SERIOUSLY?!’
and thus brought you back to japan
you stayed with your grandmother on your dad’s side and you quickly got accustomed back to japan life
OH
your BROTHER!
okay
so waka-chan def heard you coming back
your mother was grumbling about it the other day and he was sure he heard your name in there
‘sdkfjkdslfjdkslfj y/n dkfjlsdkfjldkf’
LMAO THATS ME TRYING TO SAY THAT WAKA COULDNT UNDERSTAND WHAT SHE SAID SINCE SHE WAS MUMBLING SHE WASNT KEYBOARD SMASHING LMAO
there was a mutual giddiness in there too and he was excited to see you again after many years without contact
however
there was a bit of fear in there that thought back to when you were younger and his choice of not really having a specific parent despite your pleads to stay together with him
but he was going to make sure your bond was still intact!
he would do anything in his power to do so!
when you arrived
your dad accompanied you back to japan and you both were walking out to the exit of the airport when you saw your grandmother excitedly waving a sign around
in bold sparkly letters, it said ‘USHIJIMA’
okay wait i love grandma usui 
you quickly ran over to her and she grasped you into her arms
‘nana’
you sobbed and she hugged you tightly
‘im so happy youre back home’
your father shook hands with the friend she brought to help drive you guys back home
old man ukai was basically the chauffeur but hes really good friends with your nana so it was okay
the entire ride you guys basically caught up with each other and you couldnt help but laugh whenever your dad would go on a rant about your grandma being too reckless and your nana defending herself
‘oh stop it, takashi. i was only given one life and if it’s over, it’s over. for now, ill live it how i see fit!’
your old family home was exactly as you remember it but you didnt expect the 6′2 boy in the living room
‘nii-chan’
you meekly whispered and he let out a soft smile before opening his big arms
you ran into them and he held you tightly
‘i missed you. so much’
he whispered and you nodded 
it was def such a nice thing to have your brother again
oooo your dad been knew that you would be sticking to waka like you did when you were itty bitty young
so when you practically begged waka to stay at your nana’s house the entire summer, he couldnt refuse you
duh your mom went to see you but you just quietly sat there and smiled at her
polite but distant
due to being around waka so much, you naturally went to his volleyball practices and their training camp
there
you met his friends and you guys quickly got acquainted especially with tendo bc he was just so fun
and he was your brother’s boyfriend best friend
the others were still kinda distant with you ahem ahem im looking at you shirabu
but they were mostly amazed at how powerful the genetics played in your appearances because wowza you were beautiful
lmao dont let waka hear them say that bc they would be benched all season in a single snap
during training camp, you usually sat at the sides or you would be their stand-in manager
goshiki absolutely LOVES you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GOSHIKI MY SON MY BABY
him and you were the same age so there was an easier way of being friends and your energies just matched so well
he would run up to you whenever he got a play right and you would ruffle his hair affectionately
LADKSJFLDSKFS FLASHBACK TO TENDO!SISTER X GOSHIKI
‘y/n-chan!’
‘y/n-chan!’
‘y/n-chan!’
hell even ushi was getting annoyed at goshiki’s constant need for you
tendo would steal you away and he would be giggling to you about how adorable you were and you just giggled along bc wow this beautiful man is really talking to me right now
ALKSDJFLKSF CAN YOU TELL IM ALSO A TENDOODOO SIMP?
‘cmere, y/n-chan. i taught toshi this the other day and he was very impressed and wanted me to do it again. okay so it goes in a rhyme, ya ready?’
you nodded along and he shot you a close-eyed smile before starting to draw on the dirt with a stick
‘there once was a man with-’
lets just say
you were definitely your brother’s sister
sometimes though
you would try and go towards the calmer players to get away from the rowdiness from baby daddy tendo and baby goshiki
you would find them at the gym just doing drills and at the sight of you, they would turn red but continue playing
they didnt really mind seeing you there bc youve always been such a positive energy and cheered them on which gave them strength
‘NICE ONE OHIRA-SAN!’
‘WAHHH SO COOL YAMAYAMA-SAN!’
you were like a cute ball of serotonin >o<
‘wah, of course its expected for you guys to be the top in the prefecture. youre like,,,,, silent but deadly~!’
duh a compliment from a girl?
dead
shirabu’s bangs would get in the way of his vision sometimes yall i will never stop making fun of that ridiculously adorable haircut so you would use a clip and tuck it away for him
this big babie is so awkward that he turns red when you whisper in his ear that you were done
semisemi baby and you got along bc you guys had a similar taste in music and because you lived in california, he was fascinated that you were in the music capital of america
‘did you see celebrities down the street?’
he asked you excitedly one day during lunch
you stopped then smiled softly
‘semisemi-kun, i didnt live at that part of california’
nah to him, america is just filled with celebrities
OH DEAR BABY BOY KAWANISHI
taichi is a generally quiet guy
like you thought he was actually selectively mute when you first met him
but you gradually got him to talk and you would help him whenever he would want to practice
usually it was during the ungodly hours of the morning
you woke up and went to grab a drink from the common room but you noticed his large build exiting the door so you followed him into the gym
‘kawanishi-san?’
you called out and felt guilty when he jumped 
‘oh, hey’
he aknowledged
‘wha-’
you stopped to yawn causing your eyes to close making you miss the brief second of softness that flashed in his eyes
‘what are you doing?’
you tiredly asked
taichi dusted off his trackpants after kneeling down to rummage through his bag and you couldnt help but gawk at his height
‘im training early’
he answered
‘why? is it because you want to keep up with the others?’
you mumbled and he was surprised for a second but reverted back to his stoic expression
‘i have to make sure i am able to reach my seniors level for next year’
taichi turned away to grab a stray ball and you moved to go to the storage room for the ball cart
‘oi, what are you doing? go back to bed’
he said from the other side of the gym but you just looked back at him with a tired grin
‘meh, i want to spend time with you, senpai’
you reasoned
he shook his head before walking over to you then ruffled your hair
‘no wonder youre so tiny. you dont sleep enough and let your body grow’
yep that was the closest youve gotten to taichi joking with you
usually, hes training and when hes in the zone, nothing else has his attention but the ball
maybe thats why the others ahem goshiki has said that he was very scary
his game face was practically a mean face
basically you spent the entire training camp with them and then soon, you were going back to school
duh everyone hmm maybe not shirabu bc he most definitely read the school book of rules thought you would be going to shiratorizawa with them 
but you broke the news to them one afternoon and imagine the tears from both tendo and goshiki
‘WHHYYYY!!!!’
‘NOOO!!!!!’
‘why can’t you?’
semi asked and you were about to answer when shirabu beat you to it
‘the school doesnt allow late transfers’
oh right
the american school system was set in a different schedule than a japanese school system
it was considered the summer for them yet school already started a few months ago
since shiratorizawa was a very academically and physically prestigious school, they refused anyone who would potentially be late or behind their curriculum
‘so where ya headed to then, chibi?’
tendou pouted and you leaned against his arm
‘hmm some school named aoba johsai? i dont know its near my grannie’s so that’s all that mattered’
oh dear
USHIJIMA NO Y/N WILL NOT ASK TOORU TO GO TO SHIRATORIZAWA
they consider seijoh a rival bc theyve played against them practically in every prefecture tournament and they were worried for that infamous setter
‘ne, y/n-chan, promise us that you won’t be swept away by them! especially a guy named oikawa tooru!’
uhhh
well
tendou’s warning was kinda ignored bc you ended up being seijoh’s manager
hehe
surprise?
but they weren’t really really shocked tho bc they knew you liked volleyball so you would naturally be in the volleyball team
even as a manager
meanwhile in seijohhh
OooOOOoOoOooooo sEiJOOhHHHH~~~~~~
okay so you were actually registered under your father’s last name usui rather than the ushijima last name
therefore you werent exactly immediately known as HEY! USHIJIMA’S SISTER!
you still became the manager the way you did as mentioned in part 1 
and you still are their adorable baby manager
you were aware of their oikawa’s hatred for wakawaka so you try not to talk about him even though youre literally the closest person to him
was it traitorous? 
maybe
but you actually even help them when they practice
duh the boys are like eyebrow raise emoji 
‘wow youre really into volleyball, huh, manager-chan?’
matsukawa commented and you just smiled
‘hmm, my family likes it so ive picked up a thing or two’
LMAO
little do they know your brother is literally the best volleyball player around and is a member of the under 19 team and your father is a volleyball coach in america and would someday be someone iwaizumi hajime (19) would apprentice under
there was a lot of times you thought you would slip up like your home screen was of you and waka but youve been careful to cover it up
BUT
you cant always be sneaky
it was during the first day of the tournament and you were filling up their water bottles I SWEAR WHY IS MANAGER-CHAN ALWAYS FILLING UP WATER BOTTLES when you found a familiar bunch of boys at the end of the hallway just chatting
you havent seen tendou and the boys in so long so you placed the bottles down and rushed over there so quickly
‘TOMUTOMU!’
you shouted and the oddly-haired boy turned and he gasped before grabbing you into a large hug
this grabbed tendou’s attention and he cheered then hugged you too
your giggles and happy cheers were so infectous and they just absolutely missed you so much 
these tall boys were at a advantage so someone scooped you up and you were just affectionately being talked to and hugged and LKDSJFSLDFJ SO LUCKY SO LOVED
meanwhile
the plant babies were wondering where the heck you went to 
‘y/n-chan?! where is she?!’
oikawa panicked quickly while iwaizumi hit him to shut up
‘be quiet! you won’t find her if you’re too busy freaking out!’
‘ill find her’
matsukawa volunteered and they nodded, feeling at ease of him being capable to find you if you were in trouble
but when he returned empty-handed and with large eyes, they knew something was up
they ran behind mattsun to stop and copy his shocked expression at the sight in front of them
is that
you?
with
shi
ra
to
ri
za
wa
oh my god
‘y/n-chan!’
oikawa shouted, being the first to speak
you jumped and your own eyes widened
‘oh. oh no’
you mumbled
the others were so stunned and seijoh itself was so hard to make speechless but they were just shocked
period
‘what is happening’
iwaizumi mumbled
yea the others were just shocked period
‘hey guys’
you waved and you motioned them closer
‘uhh,,, well,,, um they are my friends’
you smiled uneasily and they could see that
‘aaand?’
oikawa signalled you to say everything bc he knew it wasnt the whole story
you sighed
‘ushi,,, jima is my brother’
you mumbled the last part
but they heard you
‘HAH?!’
you cringed and the shira boys were about to move to protect you but they saw you glare at them
‘what? what about it? hes my brother? and?’
you babbled
‘but,, why are you,, in seijoh? dont get me wrong! its just,, youd naturally go to shiratorizawa right?’
mattsun waved his hands around and asked the question thats bugging the team
‘i came to the country late’
‘THE COUNTRY?!’
well,,
turns out you havent exactly told them everything about you yet :/
even when youve cleared the air and introduced waka as your brother, seijoh still didnt say anything
they were stuck in this shocked and surprised moment even at the end of the day and when you went straight to the shiratorizawa team,
they watched with wide eyes as you laughed with goshiki and was jumping around with tendou
‘AH! TOMU! MY HAIR!’
‘TORI-SAN! SATORI-SAN! TAKE THAT!’
wow you were actually really beautiful when youre happy
‘i dont think ive seen her this happy with this much energy’
makki said and they nodded
it was true
you were usually calm and collected and was the perfect balance to this chaotic team
so seeing you so free and loose with them was so refreshing, even if it was with damn ushiwaka
you finally went back to the seijoh boys and they all sent glares to the violet team before sending you a smile
‘you ready to go, manager-chan?’
watari ruffled your hair before handing you your bag to start walking to the bus
‘yea. lets go home’
as you all walked, oikawa was already starting his tantrum
‘y/n-chan~! why aren’t you that happy around us? are we not enough for you?’
oikawa whined and pouted
but you just turned to smiled at him and stopped walking to pat his head
‘im not their manager, therefore im not pressured to act like anyone except as a friend and a spectator. but i try to be as professional as i can with you guys to make sure you dont appear bad to others. and you guys are perfectly chaotic enough, adding me into the mix will just about kill coach’
oikawa didnt seem satisfied though
‘but! thats not fair! they get to see you smile and i dont!’
iwaizumi growled at him to be quiet but you beat him to it
well
you smiled at tooru but your eyes shone maliciously
‘i knew you would act like this, oikawa-san. as punishment, i gave nii-chan your phone number. good luck avoiding him now’
oikawa screamed
a/n: AAWWWWW LETS NOT KILL COACH IRIHATA OKAY? HES LIKE OUR GRANPAPA AND PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LEAVE OIKAWA ALONE WAKAWAKA-KUN!
585 notes · View notes
starrynite7114 · 4 years
Text
everything is you: nine
A/N: I figured, why not update this too? LOL So, I would like to already apologize. The first half of this chapter is very angsty and has mentions of sexual abuse. I know it gets tiring for this slow burn, but I promise it will be worth it. 
Thank you for all the support! I really appreciate it! Also, I posted the everything is you short: first meeting! Enjoy! Love you all!
everything is you
one : two : three : four : five : six : seven : eight
Word count: 9952
Warnings: Angst, sexual abuse, death
Masterlist
tagged list: @justahopelessssromantic : @ifoundmyhappythought : @carlaangel86 : @woahitslucyylu : @encounterthepast : @enamoured-x : @thewarriorprincessxo : @briana-mishell24 : @bribri-82 : @chibsytelford : @agirllovespasta : @twistnet : @everyhowlmarksthedead : @trulysuccubus : @jadert15 : @sammskellington : @cind-in-real-life :  @claytoncardenasbabymama : @sadeyesgf : @thickemadame : @summertimesadnesswithadashofsass : @gemini0410 : @elcococruz : @samcrobae : @sesamepancakes : @iambabyharry : @blackmissfrizzle : @mrs-losa : @1-800-imagines : @phoenixhalliwell : @lady-pswrld : @dazzledamazon  : @getyourcrayoncas : @fvckthisbxtchup : @lukealvxz : @scuzmunkie : @lilac-tea-time : @danie1432 : @cocotheclown : @soaronmywings : @my-rosegold-soul : @buttercup812 : @itskiranbitch : @angelreyesgirl : @sheeshgivemeabreak : @vicmackeybullshxt : @bigcreatorwombatdreamer : @khyharah : @strawberrywritings : @cherry-icetea : @fuzzy-jellyfish : @losolvidad0s : @brownsugarcoffy : @courtrae89 : @prdsdjarin : @blessedboo : @marvelmaree : @enamouravecleslivresetlechocolat : @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead : @thesandbeneathmytoes : @dark-twisted-and-mechanical-mind : @maddie-georges : @pearlkitten33 : @aquamento : @incorrect-mcdanno : @that-chick212 : @imanerdychubbyqueen​
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Thanks! @carlaangel86​ <3
Coco chuckled as he watched Alena take another shot. His baby sister called him over to San Diego and he decided to bring Riz over with him. Whenever Alena called he came and along with all his other brothers. They all had such a soft spot for Alena.
“Damn, so Monica is Cruz’s teacher? I mean, it’s been years, I’m sure it’s not a worry.” Riz reasoned with Alena.
“Doesn’t matter, he’ll be single soon and it’ll be just like all those romantic comedies and my Korean dramas.” Alena laughed before taking another shot. “It’s so smooth, I love drinking with you two. I hope we can still hang out once Angel and I are divorced.”
“Shut the fuck up Alena, we would disown Angel first before we would disown you.” Coco shook his head. “Why wasn’t Angel invited?”
“I don’t want to see Angel. We don’t always have to be together.”
Riz laughed. “Right, you tell him that.”
Angel has been blowing up Coco and Riz’s phone ever since they got to Alena’s. He was upset that he wasn’t invited, but he had to stay in Santo Padre and be with Cruz. Alena was in San Diego since she had a work emergency. 
“When was the longest time you didn’t see Angel? Was it the time he served?” Coco questioned. The club truly pulled through for Angel then, taking care of Alena and Cruz when he served time in jail a few years ago. 
It was a hellish 18 months and Cruz was only two years old. Alena held on strong and when he got out, Coco thought Angel would get his head out of his ass, he almost did, but this thing with the rebels popped through.
“Yeah, it was.” Alena frowned remembering that time. It was hard for her to be apart from Angel, but she tried to visit him all the time. His sentence was cut short to 18 months instead of the slated three. She was incredibly thankful for that. She documented every move Cruz made.
“Why didn’t you tell him how you felt when he got out?” Coco really hated watching this whole thing between Alena and Angel, mostly due to Alena. 
She was too good for him Angel. Not in the sense people thought, but more of the fact that, Alena was too kind to Angel. Out of her pure love for Angel, she stood by him regardless of his actions because she wanted to be there for him. He shouldn’t push her, but he wanted to. They were fucking adults, it was time to end the games.
“So when are you going to confess to Angel?” Riz questioned.
“The way I see it, you have nothing to lose Lenny.” Again, Coco was playing Devil’s Advocate, but maybe if Alena confessed, Angel would get his head out of his ass.
Alena was silent for a moment. She had nothing to lose, Coco was right. This also maybe the large amount of alcohol she consumed, but as people always said, her mother raised no bitch. “Fuck it, I’m going to call him.” Alena picked up her phone.
Riz and Coco picked up their shot glasses, encouraging her.
“Damn right, fuck social norms and tell that mother fucker you love him.” Riz encouraged. 
“You’re right!” Alena giggled, taking a swig straight from the Soju bottle. “Angel doesn’t love me, so the fuck what? I love him and he’s going to know.” 
Angel listened to Alena talking to whoever the fuck she was talking to, though he assumed it’s Coco and Riz since they told him that they would be going to Alena’s apartment. He wasn’t worried, he trusted them, but he was still antsy. His heart rate increased hearing Alena tell his brothers that she loved him, even if he didn’t love her.
He couldn’t wait to confess to this silly girl, the woman who’s had him since he could remember. 
“Cielo?” He called for her attention.
“Angel,” she dreamily greeted him. “How are you?”
“I’m good baby girl, are you doing okay?” He smirked, loving that tint of pink on her cheeks.
Alena nodded her head, biting her lip. “Do you have company?”
“Yeah baby, Cruz, but he’s asleep.” Angel moved his camera so she could see Cruz.
“My baby!” Alena squealed a little too loudly. She covered her mouth, giggling with Riz and Coco laughing in the background. 
“You having fun?”
“Always, they’re my favorite Mayans!” She blew kisses at the two who pretended to catch it. 
“What about me?” Angel pouted.
“You’re in a different league.” Alena scoffed, before she laughed. Angel loved seeing Alena so damn carefree. He just wished he was with her right now. “Angel, want to know a secret?” She moved closer to the screen, so she could whisper it to him. Drunk Alena was absolutely adorable, but she was also handsy. “I love you, not as a best friend, older brother type of love, which is disgusting, but I’m in love with you. I would give up anything for you. And I did, I gave up Paris for you because I just wanted you to have Cruz. When I first saw you hold Cruz, you should have seen the smile on your face.” 
Riz and Coco watched as Alena confessed to Angel. They slightly regretted encouraging her, but Alena needed this, so did Angel, Alena might not remember, which was fine, that’s what they’re here for, to record the whole thing. 
Angel felt his heart clenched as he watched the tears fall from Alena’s eyes. He wasn’t sure what Riz and Coco gave his wife, but he was appreciating this. It was definitely different to hear from Alena that she was going to walk away from him.
“I just want you to love me Angel. I want you to see me as more than a friend, I want you to love me, to hold me, to just be here for me.” Angel didn’t want Alena’s confession like this, but he figured this was as honest as he was going to get her without her self doubt plaguing her mind. “I remember during prom, I wanted you to take me because it would have been a magical night, but you took Emily’s friend to help EZ out. Then after that, every other woman came and you know, that’s okay, because you were happy. But I wanted you to look at me just once and tell me I was beautiful, that your eyes were only for me.” Alena wiped her eyes. “When I told you my coach was touching me inappropriately, you made no hesitation and helped me. When I told my father he accused me of not wanting to swim anymore, an ungrateful child. Then he kicked me out and you and your family took me in. I wanted to end my life, but it’s like you knew because you were always there when I was losing myself.” 
Riz and Coco’s heart broke as Alena told Angel how she felt. They always knew their relationship ran deep, but this was something else. Riz never knew about Alena’s coach, but Coco did. He also knew why Alena let the motherfucker touch him. Thinking about not having Alena in their lives, if she was successful with ending it all, their lives would be much dimmer, darker. And Angel wouldn’t be what he was, an obnoxious loved up puppy, who was honestly one of the best fathers’ they knew.
“But I know that you like being the hero, to take care of someone, which is why you tolerate me. I want to let you know that you don’t have to anymore. I love you, and because I do, I’m going to let you go. Fifteen years, I’ve been in love with you for fifteen years.” Alena smiled such a broken smile that Coco and Riz almost reached for her phone, but they were frozen. It was like she needed this, this had to happen. “You have Cruz now and when we divorce you’re free to do whatever you please, just please don’t take Cruz away from me. He’ll be all I have of you. I know he’s technically your son, but he’s my son too.”
Angel gripped the phone harder, the tears streaming down his face. Is this what he did to her? Is this how much he’s hurt her? He could never take Cruz away from her, he could never be away from her, neither of them could.
Alena took another drink of the bottle. “Want to know something pathetic?”
“Alena.” His voice was broken, running his fingers through his hair as the burden on Alena’s shoulders came out. 
“No, listen.” She placed her index finger against her lips, telling him to not speak. “I knew what I was getting into, knew what would happen if I let you in, but I didn’t care. For once, I felt like you saw me and it felt so good. We were a family, you, me and Cruz. You always made me feel wanted and loved during those brief moments that you would show how much you care for me. Dumb stupid and naive Alena.” She let out a sob, wiping the snot coming from her nose. “Every time I’m about to walk away you always reel me back in, but not this time. I’m letting you go, not to be with Victor or anything, but so you can meet the love of your life and have a family with her. I really wished we had a child, just so I can have them and Cruz.” She managed to smile into the camera. Finishing the bottle, she placed it on the table, not even registering Angel’s reaction to this whole thing. “I love you Angel Ignacio Reyes, and because of that, I wish you a lifetime of happiness and love, even without me. You don’t have to protect me anymore, remind me of my silly appointments and medication refills, you’ll be worry free, just like my father when he walked away from me. I won’t burden you with myself anymore.” She looked up at Riz and Coco. They could tell she was barely holding it together. The two looked at the broken young woman before them and immediately stood up. Riz took Alena, crushing her onto his chest while Coco took the phone. He looked at Angel who was a sobbing mess as well.
“I’m on my way.” 
EZ immediately came to take care of Cruz. He didn’t ask any questions, especially seeing how distraught Angel was and the fact he spoke to him. Angel got on his motorcycle and sped all the way to San Diego. When he arrived, Riz and Coco were on the couch, solemnly drinking. They looked up at him, ashamed of what occurred.
“Hermano, it wasn’t supposed to happen like that. She was telling us how much she loves you and we just encouraged her to confess to you since she had nothing to lose, we knew she had nothing to lose.” Coco sniffled, wiping his eyes. “I didn’t expect for her to,” Coco sighed. “You have to fix this Angel, Alena deserves better than this.”
“Where is she?” 
“Her room, she worked herself up and had an asthma attack.” Riz frowned. “She’s fine, we remembered how to use her nebulizer and gave her medications. She’s better now.”
“Thank you.” Angel’s eyes were locked on Alena’s closed door. “You two know where the futon and shit is.”
“Don’t worry about it, we got it. Just take care of your wife.” Coco’s heart broke watching Alena work herself up. They wanted to give Alena the night off, to release her inhibitions, but not like this. They both knew they wouldn’t leave till they saw Alena up and breathing later on in the day. 
Angel quickly made his way to her room, quietly opening and closing the door. He found Alena on the bed, still crying but not as worked up. She didn’t even get up to check who it was.
“Coco, can you get me more Soju, I feel like it’s leaving my body.” Alena giggled. “I can smell Angel.” 
Angel would have laughed if he wasn’t hurting so much. He did all of this shit to Alena, he hurt her so much. No amount of groveling would ever forgive his sins, but from now on, he was going to make sure he would treat her better, be better for her.
He was in such distress, he didn’t even put on his kutte. He just had sweatpants on and a hoodie. Taking off his hoodie, he placed it on Alena’s chair. Alena was facing her side of the bed. He put one knee on her bed and Alena still didn’t turn to face him. He laid on his side, placing a hand on her hip.
“Hey baby,” he whispered into her ear as he made himself comfortable.
Alena turned to face him then, her eyes were red from all the crying, eyelids puffy. She smiled and placed her hand on his cheek.
“Oh man, I must have drank so much, I’m imagining that Angel is here.” She caressed his cheek. “Hello Imaginary Angel, you feel and smell real.”
Angel had to smile at that. “You doing okay?” He brushed her hair back, making Alena close her eyes.
“Yes Imaginary Angel.” She offered him a small smile. “I hope Real Angel doesn’t hate me because of everything I put him through.”
“Alena, I could never hate you.” He felt his tears well up again. Hearing Alena say all those things, how she was going to kill herself, how he tolerated her, and how she was a burden, it shattered Angel’s heart. How could she even think that? “How can you think you’re a burden to me? That I tolerate you?”
“Because everyone does. I’m the girl that everyone walks all over and forgets. I’m the one that everyone needs till I serve my purpose. I’m the one that gives, because I want to help everyone. I’m sickly, weak, and everyone just tolerates me because they need me.” Alena took her hand off Angel’s face, placing it in between them. “All the women who befriended me wanted an in with Real Angel, EZ or my brother. Carla is the only person I genuinely have. Real Angel likes being the hero, he feels second best to his brother, which is crazy because he’s better than EZ. He has a big heart and he always saved me when I needed him. Maybe you can visit me imaginary Angel, so I won’t miss real Angel as much.” She closed her eyes, covering her mouth as she coughed. “I’m preparing for the day he walks away, but it’s really hard.” Her eyes opened, a few tears falling from her eyes, her voice breaking as she said the last word. Her voice was just above a whisper.
Fuck, Alena was killing him.
“Alena, listen to me. I love you, I really do, I’m sorry I took as long as I did, but you’re the love of my life. It’s not about tolerating you, you’re never been a burden to me. If anything, I felt you were tolerating me. That I was burdening you. You do so much for me and I’m a fucking idiot for never noticing. I’ve taken advantage of you, but never again.” And that was a promise. “You’ve done so much for me and Cruz. He loves you as much as I love you, maybe even more. You’re our life Alena. Don’t prepare for a life without me, because there is no life without you.”
Alena giggled, pinching Angel’s cheek. She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “Imaginary Angel is saying all the things I want real Angel to say. I hope you visit me often when Angel divorces me.” Alena snuggled closer to him, resting her head on his chest. He wrapped his arms around her running his fingers through her hair.  “Imaginary Angel, I love Angel so much. Want to know a secret? The coach told me that if I didn’t let him touch me, that he would hurt Angel, cause he noticed how Angel always waited for me after practice. But don’t tell Angel because I never told him.” 
Angel froze hearing Alena’s words. 
That motherfucker did what now?
No, Alena would have told him.
No.
He pulled away from her and noticed how heavy her eyes were she was getting sleepy.
“Alena, hey, wake up.” He cupped her face, softly rubbing his thumb on her cheek.
Her eyes fluttered open, giving him a sleepy smile.
“Please tell me that isn’t true, please don’t tell me it is.”
“About the coach? It was imaginary Angel, he told me that if I told anyone, no one would believe me. That real Angel wouldn’t want me anymore cause I was tainted.” Alena intertwined their hands in between them. “He told me to think of real Angel while he was touching me, that I would enjoy it more. I didn’t, and he would get mad and hit me.” Alena frowned, looking at Angel’s chest as she spoke. “He tried to rape me the day Angel took that video of us. I never told Angel that my father let him in our home and he touched me there too. My father trusted him because he was the son of an old friend.”
Angel sat up, he couldn’t take it. Alena didn't do this, not for him. He wasn’t worth it. How could she let that happen? The rage within him was strong, beyond anything he ever felt. That motherfucker touched his precious Alena, using him for her nightmare.
He was going to find this motherfucker and he was going to kill him.
“Imaginary Angel, real Angel has been my hero and I would never want anyone to hurt him.”
“So it’s okay for you to be hurt for me?” Angel didn’t mean to be harsh, but he was angry.
“I can take it, for him I could. I’m strong to you know, for him and Cruz I am.”
“Alena,” Angel wiped his tears, running his fingers through his hair. “Why didn’t you tell me? You had every opportunity to do so, why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because he said he would hurt real Angel, I couldn’t risk that. Angel is all I have. My family could turn their backs on me, but he never did.” Alena looked down at him. “Can you hold me again imaginary Angel, you feel like real Angel and I just want to cherish every moment we have left together. Please come visit me when he’s gone.”
Angel hated that she was preparing for this life without him. That she was preparing to endure for him again as long as he was happy. He always planned on being better for Alena, but he definitely was this time around. There was no way Alena was going to do this again, keep things to herself. They were a team, a unit and he was going to have her believe it.
Angel immediately held her. He couldn’t stop the tears from coming down from his eyes. He was going to fix this, Alena would never have to feel this type of pain again. Once everything settled, he was going to find that coach and fucking kill him, something he should have done ages ago.
“It’s going to kill me to see him with someone else.” Alena was running her fingers up and down his back.
“You’re never going to see that cause I love you and only you.” Angel knew this reassurance wouldn’t register, but he would prove it to her.
Alena laughed. “Imaginary Angel, you really are saying everything I want Real Angel to say. You know, I hope he dates Adelita when we divorce. She would be good for him, he needs a strong woman to hold him down. Or maybe Monica, cause she’s good with kids and she was the one that got away.”
“You don’t think you’re strong cielo? You’re the strongest person I know.” And she was. For having to deal with him, Alena was the strongest person he knew. This was killing him. How could he want anyone else when he had her? “She isn’t the one that got away Alena, I willingly let her go.”
“Real Angel really loved her. And now she’s back, it’s like a romantic movie.” He heard her voice crack at her last word. He told her not to worry about it when they dropped off Cruz a few days ago, it was silly of him to think it would register or sink in for Alena.
“Alena, I fucking told you, Monica doesn’t mean anything to me.” 
“It’s okay, Imaginary Angel, you’re really boosting my confidence.” Alena giggled. 
“You’re driving me insane Alena. I don’t need anyone else, but you. If there is anyone that would be the one that got way, it would be you and that’s never going to happen.” Angel was determined to make Alena his, at least in her eyes because for everyone else, it’s been them for a long time. 
“Victor told me that he was going to help me become stronger. He’s such a nice guy. I would date him just so it’ll make the aching for Angel less.”
Yeah, that wasn’t going to happen.
“That’s not going to happen Alena, I told you, it’s you and me. I’m not going to divorce you.”
“Maybe not you imaginary Angel.” Alena giggled again, rubbing her face against his chest. “You’re so warm. Want to know what sucks?”
“What?”
“I let Victor kiss me to see how it felt and it was nothing compared to Real Angel.” Alena sighed. “I’m pathetic. Everyone is compared to Angel, but I’m sure all the girls Angel dated, I fail in comparison to, especially Monica.” That wasn’t true. They failed in comparison to her. “When that woman was sewing his patch on, that hurt. But Angel was moving up in the club and I was so happy. I’m really going to have to avoid him, which is why I’m moving to New York.”
Angel did not like all the revelations that were going on. 
“New York?”
“Sssh, don’t tell Real Angel. Victor has been talking to me about this art program there and I really want to try. It would help since my life revolves around Angel. I’ll still be here for Cruz and visit him whenever I can, but I’m going to leave, unlike Paris, I’m going to go and nothing is going to stop me.”
She was doing it again. She was plotting to leave him.
Jokes on her because that just wasn’t happening.
“You think I would let you go?”
Alena pulled away from him, looking up at Angel.
“Well hopefully you don’t imaginary Angel, you’re going to keep me sane.” She bopped his nose with her finger. “But real Angel won’t care, he already has Cruz, I’m not useful anymore. Remember I told you, everyone cares till I’m no longer useful and I’m not. Geez, pay attention.” She laughed. “He can be with Monica.”
Angel wanted to shake Alena. How could she even think he wouldn’t care about her leaving him? How could she think Monica was the one that got away? That was hardly the case. Most of all, how could she think that he was going to throw her away because she was no longer useful? This was ridiculous.
“I know this isn’t registering to you right now, but I’m going to prove to you that I love you and I’m worth it. You’re the love of my life Alena, I would never let you go. I’m a selfish bastard and that’s fine, as long as I have you. I would be lost without you.”
Alena remained silent. And Angel wasn’t sure if she fell asleep.
“You think he’ll miss me.”
“I always miss you.”
Alena’s breathing evened out, her body relaxing against his. Angel laid on his back, placing Alena’s head on his chest. He was done with the games. His girl needed him and he would give her the world, whatever it took.
Angel reluctantly left Alena since he didn’t want her to freak out knowing he came to San Diego. He knew Alena wouldn’t be ready to talk about it, he wouldn’t push her either. So now, he was waiting with Cruz anxiously as Alena made her way down from San Diego. Coco and Riz stayed and he requested for them not to mention anything. This was between him and Alena.
The door opened and Cruz immediately jumped down the couch.
“Mama!” He ran over to Alena and she picked him up, showering him with kisses. 
“Hey Cruzie,” she cooed, rubbing their noses together. “Mama missed you.”
“I missed you!” He wrapped his arms around her neck. He peppered her with kisses as well making Alena smile.
Angel stood up and walked over to Alena. He took Cruz and placed him on the ground, making the young boy frown.
“Daddy, it’s Cruzie and mommy time.” He crossed his arms over his chest.
“I know little man. Daddy deserves love too.” Angel chuckled. He couldn’t help it. He hugged her, pulled away, cupped her face and kissed her. “Hey baby.” He pecked her lips one more time before stepping away. He saw the blush on her cheeks as she smiled, looking down at Cruz, not wanting to meet Angel’s gaze. He wasn’t obtuse of the effect he had on her, but after last night, he knew to not take advantage of what he had with Alena. His heart was still hurting.
She let that despicable man touch her to protect him. 
The rage he felt was indescribable. He felt powerless because he should have ended this man’s life. Alena told him it was only for a few months, but he doubted that now.
He was certain that it was ongoing for more than six months and that hurt him again. His precious Alena endured for him and whatever he suffered through was nothing. She thought he didn’t want her. His hot and coldness towards her left a mark. This would be something he’ll try to fix for the rest of their lives, but that was fine because Alena was worth it. 
They all sat on the couch, Alena strategically placing Cruz in between them.
“I was thinking we should go to the zoo tomorrow.” Angel’s eyes were just focused on Alena. Her confession, New York, everything was plaguing his mind. 
“Um, sure, I’ll ask Letty if she wants to come.” Alena kept her eyes trained on the television, PJ Mask was a stationary in their household.
“How was your night?” Angel questioned.
“Good, it says I FaceTimed you, did I really do that?” Alena hoped she didn’t say anything crazy. She had the craziest dream that she had a full blown confession to Angel and she was talking to an imaginary Angel. God, her dreams could be so vivid at times. 
“Yeah, you, Coco and Riz were just messing around.” 
Alena nodded their head. “Yeah, I had like eight bottles of Soju last night, unwinding to the fullest.”
Angel chuckled. “I bet. You doing good baby?”
Alena finally looked over at Angel and she smiled, nodding her head. “Yes, why? Am I missing something?”
“I’m just checking on you cielo.” 
“You don’t have to, I’m okay.”
“How can I not, you’re my wife, I always have to make sure you’re okay.”
Alena nodded her head. “Well from now on, don’t even fret over me, I’m fine.” 
This was it, she was pushing him away again. But not this time. He wasn’t going to let her.
“Tough shit Alena, I worry about you so regardless if you want it or not, I’m always going to check in.”
“You don’t have to worry about me Angel, you know I would tell you if something is going on. I’m an adult, I can handle myself you know.” Alena was curious why Angel was looking at her like she would break apart any minute. She didn’t like it and made her feel something else occurred last night.
“But that’s the thing, you wouldn’t tell me if something was bothering you because you’re trying to spare me.”
Alena was confused by his statement. Though it was true, she wondered why Angel was bringing it up.
Cruz looked at his father then his mother, cuddling closer to Alena. “Do I have a sibling yet?”
Alena and Angel looked at one another, bursting out in laughter. The tension that was rising was broken by their son.
“I thought we agreed on a puppy?” Alena scooped Cruz in her arms, blowing raspberries on his tummy. The gleeful shriek he let out made Angel chuckle.
“No, baby sister.” Cruz shook his head looking over at his father. “Right daddy? Baby sister?” Angel nodded his head in agreement. He wanted a little Alena.
“Why do you want a sister Cruzie? You don’t want a little brother?” Alena questioned.
“No, little sister so she looks like you.” Cruz crawled onto Alena’s lap. He placed his hands on her cheeks. “Then I can take care of her and protect her.”
Alena smiled, thinking of how much of a great big brother Cruz would be. “Yeah Cruzie? What will we name your baby sister if you get one?”
“Mmm,” Cruz thought for a moment. “Alena.”
Alena and Angel both chuckled. 
“Little man, we can’t name your baby sister after mama.” Angel turned to face them, his hand resting on Alena’s thigh. “How about Isabella?”
“I like that!” 
Alena and Angel listened to Cruz as he talked about all the things he could do with his baby sister. Angel looked up at Alena, her confession last night was still in his mind. He was thinking of all the things he could do for his wife, to prove to her that he was as devoted to her as she was to him. Maybe he couldn’t give up opportunities outside of Santo Padre like she could because he was a fuck up and stupid compared to his brother, but he’ll show her he was worthy.
==========
Angel pushed the cart down the aisle, looking at the list Alena gave him. Every once in a while, Angel did the grocery shopping to let Alena rest. She always did the grocery runs for the club and Vicky’s, the least he could do was to do it for their family. He left Cruz and Alena asleep on their bed after a morning of family painting. Much like while they’re sitting watching television, Alena kept her distance, mostly sticking by Cruz. 
He knew what she was doing, and this was not going to go on for long, not if he could help it.
Coco dumped four bags of chips in the cart, Angel giving him an incredulous look.
“First of all, who the fuck needs these much chips. Second of all, Alena likes the kettle chips, not plain old Lays.” Angel kept the Lays Cheddar Cheese and Sour Cream since he knew Alena liked that, but otherwise he took the other three bags, giving it back to Coco. “You call yourself her best friend? She doesn’t like any of the other ones.”
“They’re for me, idiot. Gilly has Alena’s picks.” Coco scoffed, placing the bags back down. Sure enough, Gilly came with a bag of the Lays a Cheddar Cheese along with the Ruffles version of the flavor. He had the kettle chips, original and the jalapeño ones as well. 
“You don’t usually go grocery shopping, you in the dog house?” Gilly questioned as he placed the bags down. 
“Surprised you haven’t told Gilly.” Angel continued to push the cart, adding the pasta sauce Alena requested. She made it easy on him, listing the exact brands and the alternatives he could get.
“He told me.” Gilly had his arms crossed, blocking Angel’s way. “So what’s the plan?”
“With what?” Angel grabbed a box of spaghetti, fettuccine and penne. 
“Alena, are you going to confess soon or are you going to continue to let her wallow on feeling unworthy of your love.”
Angel placed the list down on top of the eggs, narrowing his eyes at Gilly. “I don’t know who the fuck you think you are, but I don’t have to explain anything to you. What’s going on between me and my wife is between us. I appreciate your concern for my wife,” he emphasized the last two words. “But I plan on telling her what is going on soon.”
“You always say that, then you get fucking cold feet and you take back what you say. It’s different this time, I know. But how much more can Alena take? This girl devoted her life to you and the best you can do is confess to her? I get it, that would mean the world to her, but you have to give her a little more Angel. She’s moved mountains for you and took care of your son.” Angel was his brother, something he recognized and held dearly, but much like everyone, he watched this dance for far too long. Last night was what broke the camel’s back for everyone. It seemed that it was a consensus that decided that if Angel took back his words this time, they would make it a point to get Alena the fuck away from him. They wouldn’t let her stand by him. Angel was their brother, but this was tough love.
“You don’t think I fucking know that? You don’t think I know that she gave up her dreams so she can help me? I don’t need you reminding of my shortcomings with Alena cause it’s always in the back of my mind.” Angel didn’t want to have this conversation in the middle of the grocery aisle, but he was thankful that it was early in the afternoon. “I’m not going to take it back. Even though you fuckers hope I do so you can make a move, you all can fuck yourselves.” Angel knew it wasn’t true, but he wanted to push this aside. This wasn’t the right place for this conversation.
“You’re a damn idiot.” Gilly shook his head, moving out of the way. 
The boys continued to get everything on Alena’s list, adding a few things they knew her and Cruz would like. As they made their way to the check out lines, Angel looked over to the side, almost bumping the cart. His eyes landed on Alena’s former coach, Coach Marvin Henderson. As soon as Marvin’s eyes landed on Angel, his eyes drifted to his kutte, Gilly and Coco before immediately turning the other way. Angel could tell how the fear just sunk in on his body, that tensed up. He kept looking back making sure Angel didn’t follow. He was with a woman who looked to be his wife, she was his girlfriend then, and she knew what he did then. Her eyes landed on Angel and she pushed him forward, to create as much distance as possible.
But no distance would be too great to Angel.
His clock was ticking and even he knew that.
Their reputation preceded them, everyone in this small town spoke of them, whether it was out of fear, disdain, or awe, everyone in the town knew what they were capable of. Marvin had left town twelve years ago, Angel made sure he wouldn’t dare return and since he had, the consequences of his disregard to Angel’s warning would be paid in full.
“You know that guy?” Gilly questioned.
“That was Alena’s coach.” Coco was already around then, he knew this guy. “Are you going to take care of that?” Coco turned to Angel. 
“Yep.”
==========
The three Mayans came home and found Alena awake. Cruz was still napping and Alena was doing the laundry. 
Angel noticed that Alena was wiping her eyes and frowned. He walked over to her, softly calling out to her. “Cielo?” Alena didn’t answer, tilting his head, he noticed that she had her headphones on.
She looked up and wiped her eyes. “Hey! I didn’t hear you guys.” She took off her headphones. “Sorry, it was the confession part in my drama and I was just listening to it.” She laughed. Moving to the side she waved hello to Gilly and Coco who were bringing stuff in. “Are you guys staying for dinner? I’m making that baked ziti you guys like.”
“Fuck yes!” Coco called out as he walked out of the door to grab the rest of the bags.
“You spoil us Lenny.” Gilly added.
“Wait, no, it’s family dinner tonight. They can go fuck off.” Angel wiped her tears, reminding him of how she looked last night. He fucking hated seeing her cry. It didn’t even matter if it was some show that made her cry, he hated seeing it.
“I’m okay,” she moved her face away, picking up the basket of clothing she brought in from the garage. 
“Why do you keep pulling away from me?” Angel also hated it when Alena wouldn’t let him comfort her. He fucking got it, she was trying to get used to living without him, but tough shit, that wasn’t happening.
“I’m not, I don’t need you to wipe my tears, I’m fine.” She walked over to her room and just as he’s about to follow her, Coco stopped him. 
“What’s up?”
“They found him, he lives two streets over.” Coco showed him the text message from Riz. “What’s the plan?”
“We fucking kill him.”
“Kill who?” 
Angel and Coco turned to Alena who was holding the empty laundry basket. She eyed them curiously, unsure of what she walked into. Alena wasn’t obtuse and Angel told her everything. 
“We’re gonna kill Creeper, he’s being such a pain in the ass.” Angel chuckled, lying smoothly. “He fucked the order up for our work shirts.”
“Oh, I ordered it for him.”
Coco had to hold back a laugh along with Gilly as Angel scrambled to come up with an excuse.
“Did I say work shirt? Sorry baby, I meant some club shirts he ordered.” Angel felt like an idiot. How could he forget that Alena was the one who ordered their work shirts?
“No it’s okay, no big deal.” Alena laughed it off, slightly enjoying how freaked out Angel appeared. She went back to the garage leaving the three stooges behind.
“You couldn’t tell me she was behind me?”
“I didn’t fucking see her either with you blocking her.” Coco chuckled. “So we doing this tonight?”
“No point in prolonging it, I want him gone. He’s never going to touch my wife ever again.” Angel was quite pleased that Marvin had decided to show his face again. From what they gathered, he’s been back for months, thinking past grievances have been buried. But they haven’t. 
“Are you going to tell her?” Coco nodded his head towards the closed garage door.
“She wouldn’t want for us to kill him.” Angel sighed. He should tell Alena, but she didn’t need to know. She didn’t need this in her conscience. 
==========
Angel walked out of the clubhouse, the night time sky finally taking over. He didn’t want to prolong this since Alena and Cruz were waiting for him. They already had dinner, and made some excuse that Bishop needed them at the clubhouse to keep Alena from questioning anything. But she hardly ever did. She always waited till Angel was ready to tell her. He walked past EZ, not sparing his brother a glance. Coco and Gilly flanked his sides. Gilly unlocked the van slipping in the driver’s seat. Coco covered the license plate.
“Make sure you do this clean, burn their bodies on the other side.” Bishop advised. 
Angel nodded his head and slid in the passenger side. God bless technology and Riz being a whiz, they figured out that the two lived at a home two streets away from Alena and Angel’s home. The fact this mad has the audacity to move so close pissed off Angel. There were no cameras and if there were, they were cutting the power. 
It was close to one in the morning and Angel was going to make sure these two wastes would never see the light of day again. 
They arrived at the street, parking a block away. Before going inside, they slipped on their ski masks, kutte tucked in the van. Angel’s signature chains were missing so they wouldn’t be able to identify them. Coco and Gilly went to the back, cutting the electricity off. 
The two were still awake, so a shriek was heard due to Marvin’s wife freaking out. Angel knocked on the door, waiting for someone to open it. The door opened, it was Marvin. Angel immediately punched him on the face, and before his wife could let out another shriek, he shot her right in the head. The silencer muffled any sound and she dropped to the ground. Marvin wanted to scream upon seeing his wife’s lifeless body, but he expected this.
He didn’t want to move back, but Sheila became cocky, thinking that whatever happened all those years ago was forgotten, he knew better.
Angel locked the door as Marvin moved away from Angel.
“If you want money, I have twenty five thousand dollars in the safe upstairs.”
“Why the fuck would you keep twenty-five grand in your safe?” Coco wasn’t even sure why he would ask, but why would a coach stash that much fucking money at home?
“Or do you want the drugs? They’re in the safe too.”
“Drugs?” Gilly looked at Angel.
Whatever this man was saying was not registering. All he could think about was Alena’s confession and how this man threatened to hurt him, how he used to hurt her, and how he made her life miserable.
‘He told me to think of real Angel while he was touching me, that I would enjoy it more. I didn’t, and he would get mad and hit me.’
Angel took off his mask and Marvin immediately backed away further.
“Angel, man, I left when you asked me to leave.” Marvin was intimidated by Angel then all those years ago. For a nineteen year old, he had an intimidating presence that even rattled Marvin. He knew sexually assaulting Alena was wrong, but she was such a sweet innocent girl, he couldn’t help it. 
“So why did you come back?” Angel made his way over to him, Marvin hitting the wall behind him, he had no more escape. 
“Because I’m a fucking idiot.”
“Do you know that her father kicked her out of their home? Cause he couldn’t believe that you would ever do something so despicable to someone you’ve known since she was a child?” Angel looked menacing. Coco and Gilly cleaned up Sheila, leaving Angel knowing this was something he needed to do on his own. “Did you know that she hasn’t swam in years because every time she did, she would panic thinking of you? Did you know that she had a hard time being intimate since the only thing she could think about were the despicable actions you did to her?” Angel crouched down in front of him, placing the muzzle of his gun resting against Marvin’s head. “You told her to think of me when you touched her, cause it would feel good since you knew she liked me.”
“She loved you Angel.” Marvin’s tears streamed down his face, mixing with the blood coming down from his nose. “I heard you were married, why does it matter what happened with Alena? You obviously got rid of her.”
Angel chuckled, leaning over so he was right beside his ear. “She’s my wife.” He growled out.
Marvin froze then. 
How could he be so stupid to think that Alena wasn’t his wife. He’s seen Alena around town, but he made sure that their paths never crossed, he knew once they did, he would be done for. Though he prayed that maybe Angel was no longer in Alena’s life since he was married. Unfortunately for him, he ran into Angel. He and Sheila were going to leave tomorrow and never look back. If he thought Angel looked menacing then, it was a whole nother level now. 
“Angel, listen, you want money? It’s yours. The drugs I have in the safe are worth at least ten grand. I’ll leave right now and never look back, just please, don’t kill me.” He couldn’t beg for Sheila’s life, but he could plead for his.
“When she pleaded for you to stop, did you stop?” Angel roughly grabbed his chin, pushing his head against the muzzle of his gun. 
Marvin sobbed harder, he knew he wouldn’t win this. Cause he didn’t stop, he would hit her or tell her to do it for Angel. 
“You didn’t right?” Angel let go of his chin, hitting him with the back of his gun. “Answer me motherfucker, did you fucking stop?”
“No, I didn’t.” He managed to sob out, sobs that increased when he heard Angel cock back his barrel. “Angel, I’m sorry, please, I can’t take back what I did, but if I could, I would.” His eyes drifted to Coco and Gilly who also had their guns out. “I apologize to her, I saw her a few years back, she was with her kid. She forgave me.” Well, maybe she didn’t and she looked frightened more than anything, but to him, he said his piece and he apologized. That counted for something. 
He remembered that, she called him frightened and was scared that Marvin would hurt Cruz. She thought she was being irrational, but he understood her fear and now, he further understood why she thought he would use Cruz against her.
She had nightmares for two weeks, screaming for Marvin to stop, she had to take some time off work. It was hell and Angel remembered how she wouldn’t tell him the extent of Marvin’s actions. He didn’t push her, he just held her.
He didn’t give a flying fuck if Marvin thought she forgave him. Angel didn’t, and even if she did that didn’t save his life.
Angel didn’t reply and stood up. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry I didn’t end your life fucking sooner.” Before Marvin could even utter a reply, Angel unloaded his clip on him. He thought it would be satisfying, and it was, but it could never take back his actions towards Alena.
But at least he was preventing it from occurring again.
“You okay?” He heard Coco ask.
Coco and Gilly stood by, watching, hearing Marvin’s words. They felt for Alena and were glad that Angel took care of him.
“No, but I will be.”
==========
Alena woke up, rubbing her eyes. She fell asleep watching the Punisher. She was trying to make a mental note as to where she left off. She sat up and gasped when she saw the silhouette of a person sitting on her armchair. She quickly grabbed her glasses and found Angel sitting down. It was a deja vu moment when she found him sitting down, flipping his keys around after what occurred with EZ.
“Angel?” She called out. “How long have you been sitting there?”
“A few hours.” Angel came home and didn’t even undress. The dirt of the desert was still present on his clothing. When he entered their room, the Punisher was playing, with Alena sound asleep, her head on his pillow. He wasn’t even sure why he shed tears. It wasn’t for Marvin. It was for what occurred with Alena. He sighed. “Can you please come here?”
Alena followed his request, stopping a few feet away from him.
“Cielo, just please come closer, can I hold you?”
Alena was reluctant and her reluctance wounded Angel. But as quick as her reluctance appeared, she quickly sat on his lap, leaning back so her weight was more towards his knees.
“You know I’ll always protect you, right?” Angel placed a hand on her hip and another cupped her face.
She nodded her head. “Of course.” She placed her hand on top of the one that rested on her face. A few strands of his hair were on his forehead. She combed his hair back with her fingers, Angel’s eyes closing at the sensation.
“Do you trust me?” He opened his eyes.
“With my life.”
Angel pulled her against him, surprising Alena. He had his head buried at the crook of her neck, Alena wrapped her arms around him. “I’m sorry I wasn’t able to protect you all those years ago, but that’ll never happen again.”
“What are you talking about?” Alena was confused, but she continued to hold him.
“With your coach, I should have caught on when you stopped hugging me, when you flinched whenever I came close to you. When you began to wear clothing that covered your whole body during the summer.” Angel sighed, his warm breath against her skin.
“It’s okay, Angel. No one could have known. You’ve done so much for me, please don’t fret over me. I’m good, I can take care of myself.” Alena assured him.
“Stop pulling away from me. I know what you’re trying to do, trying to practice some crazy scenario where I’m no longer around, pulling away so it’ll hurt less. Stop it.” He sat back, his hands resting on her thighs, running them up and down. “I love you Alena, there’s never going to be a life where I don’t have you beside me. I get it, you’re trying to protect your heart, but please give me a chance.”
Alena didn’t know what to say. Angel has said I love you to her before, numerous times actually. But this felt different.
‘No, don’t be stupid. This is how you always fall back in. You can keep Angel in your life without any expectations from him.’
She leaned forward, crushing their lips together and Angel immediately responded. She rested her arms around the nape of his neck, moaning against his mouth as she felt Angel’s fingers graze the skin under her breast, his hand had slipped inside her shirt. She pulled away, placing kisses on his jawline down his neck. She bit down, making Angel groan and thrust up into her. Kissing him one more time, she palmed his growing erection making Angel moan out her name. They hadn’t been intimate like this for some time and Angel needed her.
“Sorry, I’m on my period.” She stood up, Angel’s mouth dropping open when he saw the devilish smirk on his sweet, innocent Alena. He turned her into this and he was so fucking proud.
“Oh baby, just wait till you’re done with your cycle.” He smacked her ass. “Or we can fuck in the shower, is it your first day?” Angel stood up, wrapping his arms around her from behind. 
He nibbles at her ear making Alena giggle. “It is, sorry.” She went to use the bathroom, walking back to the room, Angel was waiting outside.
“I gotta take a shower, want to join?”
Alena shook her head, kissed his cheek and went back to bed. Alena was half asleep when Angel joined her in bed, pulling her against him. 
“You never have to worry about that coach ever again cielo.” She felt his lips on her forehead, and as much as she wanted to ask for clarification, sleep took over.
==========
Alena filled out the form for the eye doctor. Angel sat beside her, playing candy crush on his phone. Alena didn’t want him to come, but Angel insisted since he didn’t want for her to go alone. Currently, Alena was on a two week break from work since Mr. Johnson attended one of his nieces’ wedding. Victor invited Alena, but she declined. 
“So, your cycle usually lasts 4 days?” Angel asked in a low tone.
She looked at him and that devilish smirk was ridiculous, but honestly sexy. “Yes, it’s my 3rd day though, so, sorry.” Alena has been teasing Angel. He literally woke up to her giving him a blowjob yesterday morning. He wasn’t complaining, but as soon as he offered to do something to her, she would swat his hand away and walk away, preparing Cruz for school. Today, he woke up to her giving him a hand job and there was just so much he could take without touching her.
Alena was driving him insane.
“Cielo, you keep teasing me, you know payback is a bitch right?” 
“Ssh,” Alena shushed him as she continued to fill out the form.
Angel just chuckled, going back to his game.
Alena gave the form and did a few tests before the Ophthalmologist saw her. Alena really didn’t want Angel to go since her Ophthalmologist, Dr. Wu was kind of cute. It was definitely nice eye candy to have. 
When they called her to the back, Alena somehow convinced Angel to just stay behind. She was led to one of the examination rooms and thanked the assistant Maggie.
“Your husband is quite good looking.” Maggie commented making Alena laugh. Her eye doctor was in another town, so they weren’t exactly familiar with the Mayans.
“Thanks Maggie.” 
Alena sat down on the chair, waiting for Dr. Wu to arrive. Once he did, Alena sat up straight and smiled. He was a good looking man, who was kind and had a really nice smile. His hair was short in length, slightly spiked up on the front ends.
“Well if it isn’t my favorite patient, how are you Alena?” Dr. Wu walked in with her file.
Alena blushed. “Good, but we both know your favorite is my mother.”
“Not true, though I do tell your mother she’s my favorite so she won’t hurt me.” Dr. Wu was a family friend. Prior to her father leaving, she saw Nick often. They eventually lost touch and recently reconnected a few years back.
Alena laughed at that. “And I don’t blame you. My mother is quite intimidating.”
Angel was busy playing his game, wondering if Alena always took this long to finish with her eye appointment. It’s been thirty minutes and he was certain it didn’t take this long. The door opened and when he looked up, his brows furrowed. Alena walked out, eyes trained on the man with her. The waiting room was empty since it was lunch time and she was the last patient they took before closing for lunch. He gave her a bag and smiled down at her. Before Angel could even register what was going on, the doctor hugged Alena, a little too long for his liking and pulled away.
Now he knew why she wanted him to stay behind.
It was Nick Wu, her old childhood friend that he saw her with from time to time when he picked her up. He never introduced himself, and Nick never bothered either.
“It was nice seeing you again, you should definitely come to my parents’ wedding anniversary. Your mom and brother are going. And if it makes you feel more at ease, your father isn’t invited.” Nick wasn’t an idiot and knew what occurred with their family. 
“I’ll let you know, thanks again Dr. Wu.” Alena beamed up at him.
“Lena, you can call me Nick. It’s not like we haven’t known one another.”
“You ready to go babe?” Angel cut in, wrapping an arm around Alena’s shoulders. He looked at this doctor and smirked. “I’m Angel, Alena’s husband.” He stuck his hand out. 
“Nick, pleasure to meet you. I’ve heard great things about you.” He shook his hand. And he has, Alena’s mother always gushed about Angel and Alena has mentioned him a few times. 
“Wish I could say the same about you.” 
“I’ll see you, bye Nick.” She wrapped an arm around Angel and pulled him away from the office. 
Once they exited, Angel didn’t let her go until they got to her car. He opened the door for her and she slid in, placing her purse on the floor. Angel slid in at the driver’s side, turning the car on.
“What was that?” Angel turned to look over at Alena. 
“Hmm?” 
“Is that why you prefer to go alone? Cause it’s Nick?” Angel was jealous, he could admit that. Alena always preferred going to her eye doctor alone and now it made sense.
“Angel, he’s like an old family friend.” Alena explained.
“That I’ve never met.”
“Yes, it happens. Nick never came to Santo Padre.” Alena replied. “And you’ve met him, well sort of, when you used to pick me up from school.”
Angel narrowed his eyes. “Is he married?”
“No, he’s single I believe.” Alena wasn’t exactly sure since she never actually asked Nick. “I’m not sure, I don’t really ask him.”
“Is he one of the people your mother had lined up for you?”
“I don’t know? What’s with all the questions?” Alena smiles teasingly. “Are you jealous?”
“Alena, what kind of a fucking question is that? Of course I am. I didn’t even fucking know he was still a part of your life.” He didn’t like Nick then, he still didn’t now. Angel was unreasonable, but he always liked being number one in Alena’s life. Nick came close to replacing him and he could never forget that.
“Angel, he’s just an old family friend. Don’t worry about him.” Alena didn’t want Angel to be upset over nothing. She didn’t like Nick in that way. He was good looking, but she wouldn’t want to be with someone who had such a close connection to her father. And she also never saw him in that way. She admired him, but it just stayed there.
Angel didn’t reply and drove off. It’s not like he didn’t trust Alena, but it was crazy how he was more aware of all the men he could have lost Alena too. 
The rest of the day went off without a hitch, he just had a small run with the club and he went with Alena to her eye appointment. She got new glasses, so he was glad they went today. He was still thinking about that doctor. He didn’t think Alena was cheating on him, but it just made him uneasy. Were there other men that Alena didn’t tell him about? Alena was also oblivious to men hitting on her unless it was very straightforward.
“Angel?” He looked over at Alena who was standing at the end of the couch where his feet were. He was relaxing here since he wanted to watch television and not bother Alena. And he also might be upset at her little display at the doctor’s office.
“Cielo, you okay?” Angel grimaced seeing the tears in Alena’s eyes. “What’s wrong?”
“Can you just hold me? If you don’t want to, it’s okay,” Alena approached him, frowning at how small she felt. She hated reliving that assault with her former coach. “Never mind, sorry.”
Angel grabbed her hand and pulled her towards him. Alena laid on top of him, wrapping her arms around Angel. 
”I got you, I always do.” He never knew he would miss holding her as much as he did, but he truly missed her. He kissed her forehead, running his fingers through her hair.
“Thank you.”
“You want to go out to brunch tomorrow?”
“With Cruz?”
“No baby, just you and me.”
“Sure.” He could hear Alena fading and he felt himself fading.
This was all he wanted in his life, to have Alena in his arms. 
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tabloidtoc · 3 years
Text
Star, May 3
You can buy a brand new copy of this issue without the mailing label for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks
Cover: Shiloh Jolie-Pitt
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Page 1: Christina Aguilera at 40 -- she talks about child stardom, learning to love her body, and what she wants her daughter Summer to know
Page 2: Contents, Renee Zellweger, Phoebe Dynevor and James McAvoy at the BAFTAs in London
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Page 3: Mariska Hargitay and Law & Order: SVU co-star Ice-T take a selfie during a break from shooting the cop drama in NYC, Heather Graham at the beach in Mexico, stepping into the America's Got Talent studio Sofia Vergara elevated her casual cropped jeans with strappy platform sandals in L.A., Jason Momoa cutting a rug with an unidentified partner ahead of filming a scene for his upcoming fantasy film Slumberland in Toronto
Page 4: Colton Underwood comes out -- saying he's the happiest and healthiest he's ever been, the former Bachelor clarifies his orientation
Page 5: Lena Dunham is no stranger to controversy, so it comes as no surprise that her foray into fashion design has also come under fire as she partnered with a plus-size label to create the capsule collection 11 Honore x Lena Dunham, but the kicky line quickly came under fire as critics are calling it tone-deaf, mediocre and not inclusive at all since its largest size is a 26 and some are even going so far to call Lena a grifter who gained weight in order to make money off the plus-size community but Lena, who underwent a hysterectomy at 31, has pointed to early menopause as the cause of her straight-up gut -- while Lena refuses to be intimidated by bullies, she is listening to the complaints about sizes and is planning to address it
* Once a cautionary tale of the perils of child stardom, at age 40 Macaulay Culkin is a father himself as he and girlfriend Brenda Song welcomed a son, Dakota -- he's finally overcome his demons and Brenda has been a huge influence on his life and helped him get back on the straight and narrow and he's even pursuing acting again, shooting season 10 of American Horror Story; his life has taken such a positive turn
* A year after announcing her split from Jay Cutler, Kristin Cavallari is seeing the upside of divorce, saying it's made her a better mom in some ways because she has her kids half the time now so when she has them for her week, she is so incredibly present with her kids Camden, Jaxon and Saylor and she is not distracted by her phone or anything else; she is with them -- Jay and Kristin each have the kids 182.5 days a year and court papers also revealed that her ex is allowed two phone calls and two FaceTime or Skype calls a week and vice versa so now every moment is precious and if someone is having a temper tantrum or something, she remains calm because she knows that she is losing them in a few days
Page 6: Gwen Stefani is widely thought to have had some help in the nips and tucks department, and as her wedding to Blake Shelton approaches, he is starting to object to her constant tweaking of her face -- she's always messing with it by getting more fillers and Botox and Blake is afraid of what he'll see at the altar and he's freaking out at Gwen's increasingly extreme beauty routine which is becoming increasingly over-the-top; Gwen can barely move her face to smile at him anymore and it looks weird -- while he frets, he's trying to reassure his wife-to-be because Blake thinks she's beautiful just the way she is
* As an executive producer on the long-running Law & Order: SVU, Mariska Hargitay has tasked the writers to come up with more storylines featuring one of her favorite characters: defense attorney Trevor Langan, played by none other than her husband Peter Hermann -- Mariska and Peter originally met and fell in love when Peter guest-starred on the show and she loves to keep that magic alive by bringing him back to play Trevor but the trouble is he is busy with his own gigs as a series regular on Younger and his recurring role on Blue Bloods and Peter loves working with his wife, but he has his own acting career apart from Mariska -- still, he may soon have his day in court because Peter understands how Mariska feels and is trying to work his schedule to allow him some guest spots in the near future
Page 8: Star Shots -- Lenny Kravitz with a guitar flaunted his well-sculpted midsection during a stroll on the beach, Suki Waterhouse with her on-the-go grub on the set in Liverpool
Page 9: Louisa Jacobson and Taissa Farmiga and Denee Benton on the set of The Gilded Age in NYC, Conan O'Brien sipped on a soda at lunch in L.A., Katy Perry in the American Idol bathroom
Page 10: Kate Hudson with mom Goldie Hawn and kids Ryder and Rani, Kate Hudson twirled solo modeling in a pal's swimwear collection, Jude Law's daughter Iris Law who will make her acting debut in Danny Boyle's upcoming Sex Pistols biopic makes a call in London
Page 12: Kelly Osbourne handed out items at a food distribution event as the Islamic Center for Southern California, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson in the gym, despite a no-social warning a cheeky Nicole Kidman shared a pic from the set of Aaron Sorkin's Being the Ricardos in which she portrays Lucille Ball
Page 13: Anabella Sciorra and Donnie Wahlberg gloved up for a Blue Bloods scene in NYC, Heidi Klum and husband Tom Kaulitz started their morning during a walk on the beach in L.A.
Page 14: Travis Barker showed off his body art stepping off a Hollywood tour bus shirtless after filming a music video, a cheerful Britney Spears gave a fun look into her wardrobe in a pink floral frock, Scott Disick and Amelia Hamlin color-coordinated for a walk near the beach in Miami
Page 16: Lamar Odom and Aaron Carter put up their dukes to promote their Celebrity Boxing Match in Philadelphia, Priyanka Chopra Jonas and husband Nick Jonas at the BAFTAs in London, Ellen DeGeneres on the phone during a stroll in her main hood of Montecito
Page 18: Normal or Not? A denim-on-denim clad Jay Leno scratched an itch while filming a project in Los Angeles -- not normal, dressed in a Siggi sweatshirt Katie Holmes picked up some seasonal blooms on Manhattan's Upper East Side -- normal, Kate Beckinsale multitasked during a car ride by applying undereye patches -- not normal
Page 19: Gavin Rossdale appeared to be pleased with his Kitson purchase by doing a little dance after leaving the popular L.A. store -- not normal
Page 20: Fashion -- stars wow in statement-making capes -- Gisele Bundchen, Charlize Theron, Zoey Deutch
Page 21: Greta Gerwig, Elle Fanning
Page 24: Justin Bieber: How Love Saved Me -- the formerly troubled pop singer gives praise for wife Hailey Bieber
Page 25: Olivia Wilde and Harry Styles' romance has already cooled and the pair are giving each other space -- turns out Olivia and Harry don't actually have much in common -- the two jetted to London after wrapping Don't Worry Darling, but they were soon waylaid by their respective responsibilities as Olivia has been spending time with her kids Otis and Daisy while her ex Jason Sudeikis shoots Ted Lasso while Harry, who was spooked by how quickly intense things got, is gearing up for his role in My Policeman -- for now, the two have decided to reassess things when they're back in L.A., which leaves the window open for Jason, whose strategy was to let her and Harry fizzle out, then see where she is at, and it's going according to plan
* Jennifer Lopez calls off her relationship with Alex Rodriguez
* Carrie Underwood and Mike Fisher are better than ever after overcoming a rough patch, one that had their inner circle convinced they were headed for divorce -- Mike had a serious roving eye that made Carrie anxious and she would treat him like he was Mr. Underwood and tensions between the two were at an all-time high when the pandemic hit, forcing the two into extra one-on-one time, but as it turns out, their new routine is just what they needed because they set boundaries, divided up tasks and put time aside for fun things and they prioritized romance, which has made all the difference -- Carrie and Mike are re-committed to their marriage and they've been through so much so much and neither wants to throw it away
Page 26: Cover Story -- Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's model kid -- Shiloh Jolie-Pitt the gorgeous teen is ready for her close up, but Brad and Angie are at odds about Shiloh's new passion -- Shiloh's been experimenting with girlier styles lately, including growing out her hair and she's at the age where she's starting to change things up -- Brad isn't thrilled about Shiloh's modeling dreams and idea of her walking into the lion's den gives him cause for concern -- Angelina began modeling at 16, just one year older than Shiloh and Shiloh knows that's what set her mom on her path to fame and Shiloh is constantly asking Angie about the pros and cons of the modeling world
Page 29: Model Kids -- these celeb offspring also know how to strike a pose -- Hailey Bieber, Sofia Richie, Amelia Hamlin, Lily-Rose Depp, Brooklyn Beckham, Paris Jackson, Kendall Jenner, Corinne Foxx, Ireland Baldwin, Margaret Qualley, Kaia Gerber, Leni Klum, Patrick Schwarzenegger
Page 30: Prince William and Prince Harry: Behind Closed Doors -- the estranged princes are forced to reckon with their rift as the royal family gathers for Prince Philip's funeral
Page 32: High Anxiety -- it's not so simple for celebs who struggle with panic attacks -- Emma Stone, Stephen Colbert, Amanda Seyfried
Page 33: Hugh Grant, Ryan Reynolds, Ariana Grande
Page 36: Beauty -- nail it -- self-care essentials to score the perfect at-home manicure and pedicure -- Kaley Cuoco
Page 38: Style -- cute cases -- step up your tech, and fashion, game this season with a trendy cellphone cover -- Rosie Huntington-Whiteley
Page 40: Entertainment
Page 48: Parting Shot -- Corey Feldman embraced wife Courtney Anne Mitchell as the two ventured out for a romantic outing in L.A.
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abimee · 3 years
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Martin Olive Branches is such an obvious bullshitters name that the people just call Marty ‘’the visitor’’ instead, but whats funny is that is genuinely marty’s real name. Marty’s whole family was known as The Branches, born from a singular root of a strange woman-man dated back long ago who called himself Roots O’Branches. He was born a woman and claimed the name, but never entirely ‘was a woman as a woman should be’, dressing in men’s clothes and going by random names he picked up from the men who’s letters he delivered.
Roots O’Branches, having an obviously forged name but with no records of their birth name, meant that the family of the Branches started with him, making him the roots of the tree that is the family. Many have tried to find anything at all to reach further, a cousin or a brother mentioned that could be recorded, but Roots was very quiet and alone in his life. He never spoke of parents or siblings, or even of a husband or a wife; nobody knew the other side of the family, so when Roots had a daughter and named her Birch, she could claim herself as nothing but a Branches child.
Birch had changed her name at the age of 16 after moving out, feeling embarassed by such a name that she was made fun for having in school, and went by Meredith for a long time; married a funny little man and felt ready to settle down, having cut her mother-father off and lived a fulfilling life as a normal Meredith, with a well-paying paper job, a group of drinking friends, and a loving husband. However, she became to show signs of an unwell mind, and her husband quickly left her and stole all the money she saved from her job; her job fired her immediately and her friends turned on her, afraid of her. She was kicked out of public places for her ‘outbursts’ and episodes, and soon she had nowhere to go besides back to Roots.
But he wasn’t made, when Birch showed up on his step after disappearing on him. Roots acted like nothing was different, but not in a mean way; he adapted to the new Birch, the one who felt too much and was too loud and cried too often. Birch realized that she missed her home, and she wanted to be a Branches again, that nothing felt as secure as being in her mother-father’s house weeping in her arms and being fed food that tasted so unique.
Birch ended up changing her name back in her 30s, and found herself pregnant after a risky night due to her fluctuating mood; she had the child, and named her Venus. Venus was a liar and a coward growing up, and when Roots passed away, she became violent. Would chase boys around the streets beating them with sticks and ripping their fishing wire up with a filet knife, she fashioned herself a sack in the shape of a dog’s head with the sewing skills she was taught in school and changed her name to ‘’Dogwood’’, choosing to reign terror in her neighborhood.
She dropped out of highschool and became a bootlegger, and also tried to cut contact with her mother. She went by Dogwood all of her life, and soon began dressing up in a mix of suits and skirts piled on top of one another; she spent her days hauling alcohol for money, beating men out of their money, and beating men for their money. She died at the young age of 27, with no kids and no siblings, no lovers either. The only person to carry on the Branches name was a young kid she met in the bootlegging days, who she called ‘’basically a brother’’ and let take her name after he ran away from his own awful home.
His name was Lenny, and he made out of life better than Dogwood ever did; carried her name on as Lenny Branches, and made sure to collect her stuff and try to trace the family. Came back to Birch, who obliged in the family name and took in Lenny as family. He ended up living a quiet life cutting trees, but he complained of his knuckles aching constantly like he ‘’just took a swing at something’’. He married and had 3 kids. His wife was very hesitant to follow in the Branches family naming, calling it ‘’odd’’, so they agreed two would be named by her and one would be named by him; thus, they were Ophelia, Pine, and Juliet.
Ophelia died when she was seventeen after slipping into a creek, and Juliet died at nineteen after a bad run-in with some mercury in her teapot paint, Lenny’s wife, terrified at the strange coincidences, blamed it on the Branches family name and divorced him, and left Lenny to raise Pine alone. Pine was the odd one out in the three-child family, as Ophelia and Juliet turned against him and thought he was weird; he made himself a kingdom in the trees and wore a crown to show he was king of them, and would throw walnuts at anybody who entered his domain.
The deaths of his sisters and the divorce of his mother, however, left a mark on him, and he seemingly grew up ‘’normal’’; social, read all the right books and talked about television and sports and hobbies, left his kingdom and his crowns and his dreams of ruling the brown bears and wrestling wolves behind for a normal highschool experience.
Lenny ended up passing away at only 52, and Pine once again tried to do away with the family named; instead, becoming ‘Cheryl Hickam’, and becoming a housewife with his highschool sweetheart and having two children.
It didn’t last long, however. Life was going well for him, so well in fact that he began to heal from his trauma and was able to develop into a semblance of his true self again --- but the life he lived was like an egg shell, slowly chipping away as he grew until he was unfit to live inside it anymore, and burst; no longer did he want to cook and clean and wash and dry all by himself, living in a nice little house with two cars and two children and a two-person bed. The city life drove her wild now, hated the sound of the cars and the yelling and the lights and the blacked out skylines. He didn’t feel at home, everything tasted bland and boring and all of his clothes were ugly and starched and he hated his husband’s facial hair and the color of the carpet.
They tried to put him in a facility, but he fought and fought against his husband until he gave up, and they divorced swiftly; his husband took one child, he took the other. Born Martin “Olive” Branches, Marty and Pine moved out into a small trailer neighborhood by a lake, and Pine had another child with someone else, giving Marty a new sister. Then the story of Marty “Olive” Branches starts there
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popculturebuffet · 3 years
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Simpsons Review: Simpsons Comics #102 “Uncle Burn$” or Homercore Nudity!
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Whelp out of all the commissions Kev has thrown me this one’s kind of a curveball. I mean it makes sense why cover it: It’s a pastiche of Donald Duck Comics done in the pages of the Simpsons long running comics. I cover duck stuff on here, and not only do I love the Simpsons but I tend to reference it for jokes a LOT. I just genuinely never thought of reviewing it till now, likely because earlier on in my new career of reviewing animated shows, I wasn’t really convinced I could do pure comedies. With my regular reviews of Darkwing Duck and as it comes out coverage of the Loud House (I still need to get around to Band Together), that’s no longer a real issue and I should consider doing the show in the future, especially since I have an unabashed love for the first 10 seasons and a few episodes beyond that. 
As you can tell, I love the Simpsons. While I do genuinely wish it would end and have no real intrest in the current seasons, though if you’d like me to take a look i’d be willing to. The show in it’s prime was funny, witty and each episode was crammed with jokes. And refreshingly for an adult cartoon show of it’s time,  the show genuinely wasn’t afraid to mix things up: Milhouse’s parents divorced and stayed that way for so long that them apparently getting back together decades later is itself a huge status quo shake up.  Lisa went Vegetarian which stuck thanks to sir paul mcartney, and then went Buddhist, both of which have never wavered since and both fit her well. Skinner and Krabbable started dating. Barney went sober for a few seasons. Apu got married. These are minor changes but the show does have things happen occasionally and doesn’t just snap everything back and it adds genuine tension to plots knowing they might stay the status quo They usually don’t but the occasional change gives things stakes. I could go on for days, but I couldn’t go on for 8 weeks, point is the Simpsons are awesome, and deserve the praise they get early on I just wish they’d stop as by this point people really have stopped carring and it’s time to pass the torch and Let Bob’s burgers be the wholesome family comedy that runs forever.. and even then that one should stop at 10 seasons. Or if not at least let the kids age dammit.  But that aside, while many of you simpsons fans looking at this probably have at least seen the comics, or a collection of them over the decades, many of you like me are wondering what the hell Bongo Comics is and how they managed to last so long. Bongo was founded by Simpsons Creator Matt Groening in 1993. Matt Groening had noticed that at the time there just weren’t any funny books on the shelves, funny books being comedy based comics primarily targeted for kids, with Archie and Disney being really the only ones left at the time. So he founded Bongo to rectify that, and given Fox naturally liked the sound of more merchandising dollars, the publisher was primarily used to produce simpsons comics, though looking at wikipedia there were one or two that weren’t including, of all things, a Coldplay comic tying into their album. Why did Coldplay publish a comic book at a primarily simpsons comic book company?
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Though most series seem to be either short lived or one shots, there were a few exceptions: Naturally the company put out an annual Treehouse of Horror issue, there was a Bart Simpson ongoing focusing on him and the other kids of Springfield, I had a trade for that one once, and once Futurama premiered it too got a comic book that held through both cancelations. But standing above them all was Simpsons Comics, a 245 issue long runner that ran all the way up to the company’s closing, likely due to a combination of a lack of profits and the then upcoming Disney-Fox merger depriving them of the very heart and soul of the company. 
Naturally being a Simpsons fan I have a connection to these comics having gotten the trades out of the library multiple times as well as the collection of Bartman’s solo series, which was my favorite and I might cover some day. In addition to the Free Comic Book Day issues i also picked up scattered issues over my life since, much like Archie, Simpsons comics were a mainstay of bookstores and super markets and the decline of both comic markets is likely why the Simpsons comics started to peter out in the first place. The quality and memorability of the stories varied but they were a fun thing to have around and it’s sad to see them go, as well as see Disney not even make a remote attempt to bring them back or at the very least republish the vast library they now have access to. Also finally if your wondering yes, there indeed was a Simpsons/Futurama crossover. And no I have not read it.  So with that history, most of which I just learned some of which I already knew, in mind, it is very fitting the comic’s did a tribute to the Uncle Scrooge comics. Though it does feel very weird that I have yet to cover any Donald Duck or Scrooge comics.. yet i’ve already covered one of the Ducktales tie in comics and a Simpsons homage to it. I’m going to have to correct that but until then, join me under the cut as I dive into adventure with the Simpsons. 
This issue was written by Ian Boothby and drawn by John Delaney, I feel mentiong the writers and artists should be important in comic reviews and I kick myself for not having done that or gone into them as much before. Boothby was apparently the Ian Flynn of these comics, writing more simpsons comics than any other writer according to wikipedia and winning an Eisner for his work on the comic if sadly not this issue. He was nominated for an outstanding Canadian Writer award for it though so that’s good. Point is the guy is a decorated vetran of this series and it shows in how good this issue is and I felt he deserved some recognition as most Comic Book Readers, myself included up till now, likely weren’t aware he even existed nor took over the comic in the 2000′s. 
We open with Burns getting attacked by a mummy! Gotta say wasn’t expecting this as where we started out but the simpsons have started with wonkier premises to end up somewhere. I mean there was the time a bag boy strike ended up with them in Africa. Also i’d say Burns should call the police, being the kind of privileged white guy they actually care about protecting and all, but frankly the Springfield Cops don’t have the best track records with Mummies:
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But no it’s just Smithers, who dove in heroically to save the company 15 dollars after Homer took a bet to see how many fire crackers he could jam in his computer’s disk drive. Lenny said 20 but he proved him wrong. And yes those are all actual jokes from the comic, this issue is very funny and feels very much like a Golden Age Simpsons episode. They also all gather to sign Smither’s cast.. which naturally is a legally binding contract.  Burns takes his loyal minion to get some quality medical care only to find an arcade because he traded the Medical Bay in for one during an outbreak of Pac Man Fever... again I really can’t top that and there may be a good reason why I haven’t covered the Simpsons till now. But yeah as Buns gives Smithers a roll of Pennies, he wonders who to have replace Smither’s on their annual summer treasure hunt.. which would come out of nowhere but we genuinely don’t know what they do most summers. I assumed Burns just road Smithers like a horse to play cricket while Smithers enjoyed it way too much. But a stray comment from Homer getting a Krusty Doll from a crane machine about being king of the treasure hunters leads to this. 
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I mean it’s an easy joke but damn if it didn’t get a laugh out of me. So later at the old Simpsons place, because this comic is fantastic, Marge and Homer talk things over, but Homer insists Burns said he’d split the treasure, and Lisa wishes she could come along. And Marge says he should, especially for his own saftey.. and when Bart complains, says all the kids should go, she already packed their bags, she’s heading to Rancho Relaxo byyyyeeeeeee. Once again, this comic is amazing, and I would say this is out of character for Marge, but frankly that’s the whole point. Plus it really isn’t when she has to deal with 4 children on a regular basis, and her sisters, and a town gone mad.. yeah can’t blame her here. 
The next day at Burns Office, Homer is wearing his navy outfit.. or rather Donald’s Navy outfit. But given I did a quick google and found him having at least 4 different outfits during his time in the Naval Reserves, it’s not a stretch to assume the Simpsons Version of the Navy gave these out too. Seriously Ian Boothby has put more thought into continuity than most writers on the show proper. Also Simpsons Tide, season 9 episode, still very memorable and hilarious and not due to childhood nostalgia. Just looking up this bit had me laughing hard. 
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I now  want to watch that episode sometime soon so thanks Kev. Anyway Homer seems to have misplaced his plants. Now I could spare you the image since I don’t do things panel by panel anymore and only use panels from a comic when relevant. Buttttt
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This traumatizing of my audience brings me to a point about this issue and why it works. While there are tons of nods to the Donald Duck comics and what their homaging is very clear, the issue doesn’t REQUIRE you know them to enjoy it.  Knowing them I obviously enjoy it more, but most of the jokes aren’t reliant on you knowing anything about the barks comics and even someone with a passing knowledge of  the Original Ducktales can still get the reference if not why Donald is here. It helps this is less of a parody, with the exception of some jokes, and more of an homage, using stylistic elements of those comics while telling i’ts own story as a loving tribute to it’s predecessors. Speaking of one of those jokes poking fun at the source material, Burns is delighted Homer brought child labor, which kept me laughing for a good minute, and when the kids introduce themselves we get this bit. 
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Not only am I 100% sure every version of Donald or Della did this to make sure they could tell them apart, very much including the reboot with Donald, but it’s a genuine hilarious bit. Donald’s response as they head off is “there’s somehting hooey Dewey and screwy about this. “ Also I will criticize the fact Bart isn’t the one wearing a blue outfit. For those wondering why, after all Maggie wears blue shouldn’t she get it, who haven’t seen this a LOT of merchandise early on had Bart in a blue shirt, due to early Merch being rushed out pre-show and since he wore one in some earlier concept art, he got to wear blue. He also wore it late into the 90′s. 
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Sidebar: I just found this and while it isn’t a bad joke given his character it is  questionable to have a fourth grade boy tell you to buy him. Just saying. But the reason I bring it up is partly because the show itself referenced it at one point. 
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As well as it’s sister show Futurama
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And you remeber that Bart Simpson solo I mentioned? That one frequently, both in and out of story, had Blue Shirt bart show up for some variety. 
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Also why yes each issue does have it’s own fun “Superman’s Pal Jimmy Oleson” Esque subtitle. And I love it so. Point is Blue Bart is part of the series legacy and this very comic company, so it’s VERY weird to not have that here. That being said there were  a few Green Shirt barts apparently as a printing error, so he could just as easily be 80 steps ahead of me. I just don’t know. 
Back at the plot Burns and the Simpsons show up at Frink’s lab, Frink rather obviously filling in for Gyro, with his own version of little bulb named F.L.O. who gladly shakes Lisa’s hand.. and releases a Pterodactyl but hey you can’t win em all. It’s a nice nod, though one only fans of the source matieral will really get, but the pterodactyl bit right after helps distract from it. Frink slotts into the roll well, as Frink has no reall affiliation with anyone and is basically, much like Gyro, there for various characters to go too when the story or joke needs him. Frink has two gadgets for them: Some Scuba suits that can go to any depth and a grappling claw that accidently gets him gripped to the pterodactyl. Also homer accidently switches suits with maggie, so we get an adorable shot of her serenely sleeping in a diving helmet while her daddy chokes to death. 
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So the next day it’s out to the open seas where The Simpsons are doing all the work while Burns lounges.. which yeah this is a typical uncle scrooge adventure all right. While the man unlike Burns does work hard and do things for himself, he spent most voyages talking about the destination while putting all the hard work on Donald, in case you thought there was at least one universe where Donald isn’t miserable most of the time. Lisa wonders what he’s doing and we get this lovely bit. 
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I just.. can’t stop finding that hilarious or a nice way to get the Uncle Scrooge bit in there while still fitting the Simpsons, and it at least explains what happened to Herb, whose been mentioned all of once in the 30 seasons since he last showed up. I checked. And yes for those unaware, which is fair, or who just now remembered Homer does indeed have a brother, one his dad had out of an affair who showed up twice, once with Homer unintentionally, and largely due to Herb’s own foolishness, ruining his life, the other time with Maggie helping him get back on top and him and Homer reconciling. He’s also voiced by comedic legend and your friend and mine, Danny Devito, whose still making us all laugh to this day and is a wonderful person from all accounts. Rock on Danny, here’s the only way I can think to honor you. 
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But yeah it’s a good gag. Burns claims to be watching for a Giant Squid.. and turns out to be right. So it’s up to the simpsons to fight the giant squid, a sentence I genuinely didn’t expect.. I thought like the Griffins they’d just ignore it. 
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I miss that show.. oh i’m aware Family Guy is still running but much like the Simpsons the show it USED to be is long gone. Anyways Bart tells a worried homer octopus suck out the innards and drink it first quipping “It’s not like you haven’t been drunk in the morning before homer. Homer chokes bart only for the squid to choke him which is easily the second best “Homer getting choked after Choking bart” gag i’ve seen.. the best being this one I found on youtube. 
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Though personally my faviorite part of that whole bit is Bart’s proud “THAT’S BECAUSE I SOAKED HIM IN SLIME!” Anyways Lisa figures out a way to beat the squid, painting the likeness of each of them on it’s tentacles and letting the thing devour itself. Lisa lampshades it making no sense PHysics wise but with that she reluctantly accepts calling Mr. Burns, Uncle Burns and we’re off to our next location.  Next up is Mt. Donrosa, a very clear nod to Uncle Scrooge maestro Keno “Don” Rosa, an avid fan of Barks work who expanded on it and turned it into a solid continuity, most famously, and what got me into the ducks in the first place, with the epic “Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck” which I proudly own and.. well I did say watch this space didn’t I?  Enough hinting at the future as the Simpsons scale the mountain with Homer carrying burns up on a rickshaw. Burns however looses his lucky #1 penny, SUBTLE, and cuts Bart down to get it. We then get the best line of the issue:
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Bart thankfully survives and we find out the Penny, much like Scrooge’s Dime is how Burns started his fortune.. for this issue and nowhere else but that’s standard for the Simpsons. Specifically loading it into a gun and threatning to kill Jasper’s grandfather with it during the gold rush, a nice twist. At the top of the mountain they find the fabled key of Strobl, which comes from the Taliaferro tribe.. more refrenes this time though I didn’t know them and had to google. Tony Strobl was an artist on the Duck Comics at one ponit  and Al Taliforino id forgotten about. He did the Donald Duck comic strip which I had heard of and weirdly hasn’t been collected yet despite Fantagraphics covering mickey, as well as reprinting barks and rosa’s respective works. 
The key is suspended in the air by what Lisa suspects to be magnetics, and while Burns plan is naturally “Have Bart swim in it and see if he surivives”, Bart, still pissed from the penny and not wanting to die today, grabs the Penny and uses his slingshot to fire it at the Key. The bad luck from the penny casues an erruption, but Bart once again saves the day and has them surf down, with naturally tons more great jokes.  The family enjoys some steamed Seafood, except Lisa whose eating Seaweed, while Homer enjoys a sting ray “It tastes as good as it stings, Ow, Ow.” ON to Goddfrodson Trench, an odd choice given Floyd Goddfrodson was barks equivalent for the Mickey Mouse Comics and not really a duck writer, but he still deserves the honor regardless.  Under the Sea, no accusations just friendly crustaceans here.. our heroes are close to the treasure but loose the map to the Jailbird Boys, aka Snake and his cousins, who found out due to Lisa’s blog. She didn’t want to loose any more readers to Sheri and Teri’s Olson Twin’s Fan Page.. which.. it’s 2004.. weren’t they dead by this point? Nope still alive? Still are today in fact? Alrighty then. Also this bit, and some of the other references are a bit heavy handed, I will admit that, but the jokes are high quality enough otherwise that it just comes off as a bit of an adorable wink more than laziness. 
Snake and co cut their air with Starfish used as throwing stars. 
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The gang tie their air suplies to avoid dying, and Maggie, in a clever bit, talks with the starfish, since they communicate via sucking, to attack the Jailbird Boys. Again.. 
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I genuinely don’t know, but our heroes find the fabled vault of Barks Billion.. named after Bark Barks, that polar bear from the sonic games.. no of course it’s named after Disney Duck God Carl Barks, who created the Duck’s share of Donald and Scrooge’s supporting cast: Uncle Scrooge himself, Daisy Duck, a fact I just learned but given he created her first short “Mr Duck Steps Out, shouldn’t of surprised me, The Beagle Boys, Magica DeSpell, Goldie O Gilt, Flintheart Glomgold, Gyro Gearloose, Gladstone Gander, The Junior Woodchucks as a whole, Neighbor Jones, John D. Rockerduck, The Number One Dime, Gus Goose, April, May, June and Whitewater Duck. Just the sheer impact he’s had on the comics on all continents cannot be overstated. He is also the one who refined Huey Dewey and Louie from hellraising little shits to the good little boys they are today.. well okay they were, thankfully the reboot has created much better versions. Point is what a man, what a man what a mighty good man, he is truly missed.  We get two great homer gags in the same page, one where somehow he’s put the giant key on a key ring and still can’t find it.. with Bart helpfully taking it from him, and then we get this, which I missed on my first read through. 
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Naturally Burns betrays them, using a Gold Magnet, kay, to suck up all the gold and naturally planning to leave the Simpsons for dead to no one’s surprise. But thanks to Bart teaching Maggie how to use the spittoons, Homer gets one stuck on his head.. and starts getting sucked up with the Simpsons using them to escape. Naturally Lisa’s first instinct is obvious. 
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But Burns weasels his way out by promising them free gold after their free lunch. Naturally the next day this turns out ot be a trick as their lunch came from frinks and thus, for now, their weightless.. but Karma gets Burns when he tries swimming in his new gold vault... only for the natural result of what happens when am an who never exercises and who doctors once described as having so many diseases packed into his body at once they tripped each other off and that a strong wind could kill him, trying to do with a similarly aged but still physically fit and well trained at swimming in money man does on a daily basis. 
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We then close on a quick gag of weightless homer getting caught on fire and we’re out. 
Final Thoughts:  This was a really excellent comic. It captured the tone of the Simpsons at their best and while stiff in a place here or there, it’s mostly just really funny, entertaining and a nice and warm tribute to Donald and Scrooge’s long comics history, not really mocking it but instead just homaging it, while still throughly feeling like the Simpsons. It honestly feels like the Treehouse of Horor Segement on the shining, a bit that parodies something, but for the most part the jokes still feel firmly rooted in the simpsons and their cast. This was a treat to review and i’m glad Kev comissoned it and I may take a look at more Simpsons in the future. If you guys like this review, you can follow me on patreon at patreon.com/popculturebuffet, or if  there’s a specific simpsons or ducktales episode or a specific comic you want me to review, you can comission your own review for just five bucks. Just send me a direct message on here through Tumblr, or take a look at my ask box or submit. However you want to do it. I take payments through paypal and until next time: Happy Days are Here Again. 
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Joel and Benjamin watching and discussing Midge and Lenny at Steiner
"Why do you still care?"
It's a fair question, Joel supposes, as he and Benjamin stand at the bar.
"When did you get divorced?" Benjamin asks as he takes a sip of scotch. "Fifty-eight? Fifty-nine? Why do you care who she's with? You didn't want her anymore."
"I was an idiot," Joel says simply. "I thought- I don't know what I thought."
Benjamin nods slowly, considering the couples having a good time on the dance floor in front of them. One such couple happens to be Miriam Weissman and her boyfriend. They look happy. She looks happy.
Benjamin himself is pretty happy these days, too. There's a lovely lawyer who is just this side of mean enough, and drop-dead gorgeous and gives him a run for his money and wants exactly one child, and he is entirely smitten.
And he can't bring himself to be angry at Miriam anymore. Because however poorly she handled their breakup (and she handled it really fucking poorly), she'd been right. He wouldn't have been very happy with her.
Happy enough, maybe.
But not entirely happy.
He knows what that feels like now, and so watching Miriam rest her head on another man's shoulder as they dance, her fingers threaded into the hair at the back of his neck, doesn't really hurt. He actually feels happy for her, which surprises him, but he's not mad about feeling that way.
The guy next to him - Miriam's ex-husband - is a different story.
"The affair was exciting," Joel reasons. "Penny was different. Sweet. Unassuming."
"Dumb as a sack of potatoes?" Benjamin supplies.
"She wasn't that dumb."
"Hrm."
"She wasn't. She just- wasn't - college-educated-smarter-than-everyone-holier-than-thou-Midge-Fucking-Weissman."
Benjamin frowns at that. "See, this is what I don't get, Joel. You say you made a mistake, cheating and leaving, and I would understand that if you weren't always so pissed off at the woman you cheated on and left."
"She's infuriating," Joel defends.
"Absolutely," Benjamin agrees. "But if you weren't looking for an infuriating woman, why did you marry her in the first place?"
Joel stares at him without an answer.
"I wonder if somewhere in your brain is a version of Midge that doesn't drive you up a wall," Benjamin comments. "And that's the woman you fell in love with. But she doesn't exist. There's just the reality. And you hate the reality."
Still no response.
Benjamin sighs softly and finishes his drink. He lets his eyes wander the crowd, and he catches Ruth's attention. She grins at him, and nods towards the dance floor. He nods back, and then turns to Joel.
"I'm up. See you around."
He leaves the shorter man behind, and heads for the dark haired woman in thick glasses with the sly smile on her face, waiting to be danced with.
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ourcorny · 3 years
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charactersssss (a constant wip)
annie morris … twenty-five. currently haunted by her paintings and doodles. how embarrassing! waitress, artist, medicated for an illness she doesn’t has. is actually just from a bloodline of cursed female creative types. more info can be found @tghluck. (fc: mary elizabeth winstead)
edward ainsley … sixteen years old, is actually fifty-seven, vegan vampire. utterly disliked by his vampiric peers due to his being turned into a vampire in his youth, rendered sixteen years old for life. has a tendency towards alcoholism in order to silence his cravings for blood since he deems vampirism altogether unethical. more info found @pastytwat (fc: craig roberts)
robbie moore … fifty. always one of those too big for his own boots kinda guys – one of the ‘i’m jumping ship as soon as hit eighteen’ types. that’s what he did, and that’s when he absolutely fucked it. ran his mouth too loud for too long and ruined any chances he had anywhere he went. robbie is a writer but his unwillingness to compromise with his work leaves him unable to find any real place in the industry. an absolute self publishing expert. to pay the bills he’s an english teacher but there’s no real passion for it. he came back to his hometown after struggling his way around the country and settled down in a marriage with his high school sweetheart that turned sour quickly. the pair never had children and were heading to a painful divorce when his wife passed away suddenly. years down the line and he’s still trying to wrap his head around it. jesus fuck this guy. (fc: marc maron)
tara shaw … thirty-four. owner of SHAWSPB, an independent publishing company ran (run? past tense…? it’s confusing) by one tara shaw, someone who needs to work on her social skills. as it seems, you can actually only reject so many people so many times before it bites you in the ass. more specifically (and more accurately), you can only reject so many people so meanly after you fire the companies’ reader because they’ve let one too many trashy reads out of the slush pile and you have to start wading through the heaving thing yourself. opening manuscripts seemed well and good and safe enough because all you’d be facing is words that were crappy in a worst case scenario, until late one night, you stumble upon something that a sour faced rejectee (yes, one that landed themselves with a personalised handwritten and very specific rejection from the woman herself) gets their pages in the pile. tara opens it and finds that it’s no story at all. it’s a string of nonsense – words that don’t exist, script she’s not sure she’s ever seen before, but transfixed on the page, tara shaw reads the thing front to back and the second she puts the papers down is hurtled into the space time continuum, left to float around in there til something grounds her back into the real world, when or wherever that is. it’s an act of karma, or something, and whenever she lands she pukes her guts out because that’s what that kind of thing does to the human body apparently. (fc: natasha lyonne)
genevieve walsh … seventeen. was made fun of in year six for choosing to go to an all girl’s catholic secondary school, her classmates saying that she would end up a lesbian. she did, though it was unrelated to her formal teaching. very unrelated. she has too much going on and is too moody for her own good. extra info can be found @genegrieve. 
morrigan kenny … age unknown. bringer of the apocalypse. wanders earth with her way too long hair (it collects twigs and mud) looking for someone to spend the rest of the end with.
alex … thirty-odd (undisclosed actual age) years old. she is yet to learn to do her taxes, and is for all intents and purposes: a con-woman. arguably not an ethical profession, charging the old and the gullible for exorcisms and that of a supernatural variety while having no knowledge of the subject. but a girl’s gotta make a living — volunteering yourself for stand up gigs at the same place night in night out with little to no compensation doesn’t provide much. she’s a kind person, if you ignore the conning, and is decent to talk to. will give away any information. whoops. (fc: jenny slate)
lou webster … seventeen. modern prophet. refuses touch with good reason (skin on skin means she see the other person’s skin melting off, right to the bone). regularly sees the end of the world and it gives her stomach aches. (fc: natalia dyer)
liv o'dell … twenty-nine. screaming messy would probably win the lottery (the luck of her) if she ever tried it, multiple time accidental murderer. makes no sense. is rude. is annoying. has a surprisingly sweet daughter (kitty). more info @heavyroads 
betty cloverfield … a twenty one year old motormouth who can’t hold down a single thing she’s meant to. she happens to have recently induced some type of magenta sensitive dissonance in her sensory processing that she can’t shake. it’s speculated by many that she’s taken one too many poppers and it’s taken its toll. (fc: kat dennings)
aiden ryder … seventeen years old. the angstiest, quietest idiot with four fully charged portable chargers to hand at any moment you will ever know. heavily associated with @optimistsclub​ (fc: jack kilmer)
mert james ... 21. a children’s author, the writer and illustrator of the BEWARE GIANT CREATRUES series. he has many reasons to not want to leave his house and most surround the obvious images conjured in the phrase hatemyself1999 — hate myself (explanatory) and 1999 (dexter ‘mert’ james’ birth year. also self explanatory once you know this fact). all that said, he does in fact leave his house. teaches drums to kids. none of them practise and it makes him insane. in a running circuit of bands where none of the members are committed. that, or he’s misjudging their commitment and giving them nothing when they do in fact care and then he is the dick. music snob, deadpan snarker, karma houdini, middle child syndrome, world of cardboard, can’t get away with nuthin, i coulda been a contender!
lazyguts / victoria ... suicide/eating disorder mention. i’m writing her through ages 17-19 and here’s the brief overview/context: lazyguts lost all of her friends the year before she went off to university as a result of her total withdrawal [causes being a) her brother attempting to kill himself (he survived but it’s very confusing to grieve a hypothetical especially when you’re not supposed to talk about it) and then b) her already struggling with food issues getting worse worse worse. these two things alone are not the reasons as no one else explicitly knows about them, but the adverse effects of these things combined make her difficult to be around/hard to maintain a friendship with her. all very tragic, but still happens. uno].going to a uni where she doesn’t know anyone seems like the best move. she does. she makes friends with a girl called olivia and they become mad close very quickly. this lasts maybe two months until lazyguts starts locking herself away in uni room and doesn’t see much of anyone at all. she has to drop out on mental health reasons just before the end of her first year. she moves back home and lives miserably and very solitary. she and olivia have long lost touch by this point. a few months later she sees an in memoriam post up on olivia’s social media from some of olivia’s friends saying how tragic the loss is, etc/ olivia had killed herself. the post had said something about a project for the close friends of olivia and she tentatively sends a message despite having never really known the girl. anyway, after quite a few ‘exaggerations’ and then a few straight up lies, she ends up super into the friend group of olivia’s based on the lie of being a long-time friend of hers. she’s not sure why the lie comes out nor why she keeps it going. it’s something to cling onto so she does. best way to put it is she’s very dear evan hansen about it, lying lying lying lllyyyinng. eventually she’s caught out but we’re not there yet (fc: odessa a’zion)
dale knox ... 30ish. painter/decorator. info literally not ever written out before. he’s lovely and in a constant state of stress! affiliated with @fullyfungi (fc: aidan turner)
lenny gata ... 26. lonely funeral poet. followed by a select few of the unknown dead #irl after an accidental latin spell read out at a graveside (not her fault, literally not her fault - she read this out in good faith). caught ignoring them/walking them to their homes depending on the day. (fc: aubrey plaza)
millie matthews ... 17. half part antichrist. the other half is her twin sister (#MISSING). currently, unfortunately, sadly, disappointgly, worryingly, being tracked down.
more tbaaaaaaaa thank you thank you
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themurphyzone · 4 years
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104 Words for 104 Days: Birthday
It’s June 15, Vanessa’s birthday, so it feels right to post this! Unrelated note, but curse you washing machine for breaking (we're getting a new one at the end of the month thankfully)! 
The day of Vanessa’s birth wasn’t like his other backstories. Sure, backstories took place in the past. They were supposed to provide an explanation for the motive. Backstories were emotionally scarring and tragic, but ultimately simple to tell once he boiled it down to its basic components.
It took place in the past, but that was all. Nothing involving Vanessa qualified as a tragic backstory because those stories brought all the wrong emotions to the table while he spread evil across the Tri-State Area. But more importantly, it wasn’t so simple to talk about, not even to Perry the Platypus.
He remembered being on cloud nine when he held Vanessa for the first time. But nine wasn’t even the right number. More like the clouds were infinite or at the very least some astronomically high number because that was how deliriously happy he’d been.
She was wrapped in a pink blanket. She was tiny. She was perfect.
And she had Heinz’s eyes.
He remembered how Mother had looked at Roger when he was born. Heck, how she’d anticipated his birth with the enormous pile of pretty dresses. But he’d never understood how Mother could look at a tiny, wrinkly creature who only ate, slept, and pooped and accept him as a child.
Or how Mother could accept one baby but wouldn’t hold another for longer than she had to.
Well, now he had a baby of his own.
And wasn’t that a terrifying thought?
Vanessa may have escaped the signature beaky nose of the Doofenshmirtz clan, but there were many ways he could mess her up for life. There were no genetic issues, no weight issues, in fact the only issue was getting Vanessa to do what they wanted because even as a newborn she had so much willpower and he didn’t know if it would continue as she grew or if something would cause her to be submissive and lose her spirit.
He wouldn’t be the reason it happened though. He wouldn’t screw up. He would show her how loved she was, that she could do anything she set her mind to, that she was Vanessa Doofenshmirtz and nobody could tell her otherwise. Well, that’s what he believed at her birth.
There was an awful moment after the divorce where Heinz sat in his new penthouse, bathed in darkness and vastness and loneliness, and cried harder than he’d ever cried in his life because he failed.
It wasn’t the oh well, try again tomorrow failure he often experienced when an inator blew up.
He’d failed Vanessa. He’d already broken the promise he made at her birth, and she was barely four. He wouldn’t see her daily, like a good father should do. He should’ve been asking her what she did at Pre-K, playing with her, reading bedtime stories every night because that’s how good fathers are.
He was already turning Vanessa’s life into a tragic backstory, when that wasn’t his goal at all.
He wasn’t doing enough. He needed to try harder.
The following year, Vanessa’s party was pink and she was just expressing a taste for goth and punk outfits, and Heinz wondered if Vanessa was growing up too quickly, because preteens and not five year olds were the ones with vampire obsessions.
She probably just hated the petting zoo. To be fair, Lenny the Llama was on the temperamental side. Heinz had enough spit to fill a swimming pool to prove it.
And he kept trying. No petting zoo. Just ponies, because ponies were tame and easy to ride. No clowns, maybe a magician. Maybe he wouldn’t hire another magician after the banana crème incident at Vanessa’s ninth birthday, but just break out his own seventh grade magic kit and do it himself. He still remembered some tricks, even if he still couldn’t find Bobo the Rabbit.
Friends. Streamers. Balloons. Color. Cake. Gifts.
The essentials for any birthday party, though he’d never experienced any in his life. He really didn’t have the personal experience for a frame of reference. But it was fine. He just needed the right combination.
But this year had been different. This year, Perry the Platypus had helped him. Sure, Heinz had gotten his arm stuck in a firecracker and blown up, but the smile and hug Vanessa gave him the next day made the charred lab coat worth it.
Vanessa was his baby girl. His very strong, independent baby girl. And he was so proud of her.  
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polygamyff · 4 years
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43. Part 4
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I am internally happy there is a elevator, because I will not be taking those stairs to get to the forth floor again “wooo, that was hard work” holding my chest “you’re unhealthy” Robyn was quick to mention, she didn’t wait with that one “whatever you say” I am legit out of breath “you don’t say that in the bedroom” I said under my breath “what!?” Robyn said, “I said nothing dear, your ears are deceiving you” I chuckled “is she still asleep?” Reign is lazy as shit; not awake at all I wanted a cuddle from her. Sitting down in a huff “so, how do you feel? Happy?” I hope she is “I am in shock, like there is a lot to take in Maurice but I will never leave this home. There would be no reason to leave this home at all, I can’t thank you enough. We just may need to fill each room with a child” I chuckled, Jay sat down next to me “we need to discuss some things, so” sitting forward “all is well, this home you’re happy with but I think I need to get a maid permanently here and then a team to come now and then, like my mom does” Robyn’ face softened “are you going to clean every corner? Trust me, the maid will become part of the family, it’s just not physically right, you can’t do it Robyn. She or even he will become part of the family, you are not used to it but it needs to happen. The maid will do the upkeeping of the home, we can get a chef I don’t know, you tell me?” I said, I want her to tell me what she wants “I mean mom, it’s not right?” Robyn looked at her mom “he asked you Robyn, this is your home. You put forward what you want, he is asking you” Terry said “but then it’s like not my home, it will be ran by maids. I don’t want no nanny for my daughter” I laughed, I had to laugh “Robyn, they are maids not nanny’s, different. I am not going to sleep with them, I am not my dad Robyn. So, you want to go to work and then come home and clean? Is that what it is? There is seven floors, please be logical” I mean I did tell Robyn my dad married the woman I called Mami “I am not saying you will, I don’t know. I am not used to that, I don’t know” she doesn’t know what she wants “ok, so how about this. The kitchen, the cooking and things can be your thing yeah? The maid we get, together we can joint decide the person that will live with us and do this, as it stands my parents have one person live with them, a team come in every once a week to do a big clean of the home, it gets dusty of course. No chef, but there will be security living with us, so Jay, not sure depends. You need to accept this; this is the life of the rich Robyn. I am telling you now, you cannot do what you think you can do” I do wonder what Terry’s opinion of this is but she is very quiet, she wants Robyn to decide on her future.
Robyn is either upset with me or she is thinking hard on this “do you think I will cheat with her? What is it?” this is upsetting to know “no, not that. I swear it’s not that, it’s just I don’t know what to say Maurice. Someone will be in our home? I am not used to that, but please. Don’t think that, I don’t think you will do what your dad did. I mean how does it work. Tell me” she is not used to it “erm, so maids. Well let’s speak on the maid in Texas, she lives with my parents, she is Mexican, but we don’t allow her to wear uniform. She is apart of the house, like family. She gets time off and so on, then her team come once a week, every Friday and help her deep clean but she maintains the home. And she is lovely, I have known her for nine years now and she sits at the table with us, we don’t mistreat her but it depends on how you want it to happen, ok? If you want her to feel at home or not but, she is there to look after the home. Reign is our issue, Security, Jay can speak on that” I said “I spoke to Matt, just down stairs and said Lenny and myself can work it between us to stay here, I can part of your family life. Little bit now, I mean we get on. I will be happy to stay here and make you feel safe and so on. Y’all are like family anyways, and yes it’s a big move but Lenny and I can bounce between each other on who comes here and so on” licking my top lip nodding my head “and we do this together? Pick the maid, like Jay doesn’t bother me. I just don’t know not used to it” Robyn said “and I am sure you will but that is what I propose should happen, I do need to do a house warming and this space. Richard is right, it’s going to be great” I laughed, I am excited “suit and tie event, some drinks” I cheesed “oh you’re thinking about a damn party, but then if we are doing it together then I am happy with that” nodding my head “of course, also we need to do Reign’ room. That is one thing they never did” I couldn’t demand such a thing.
Taking my suit jacket off, the boxes are all over this room, I mean of course we have the gigantic bedroom, it has a living room connected to the bedroom with the walk-in closet. Space is enough for the both of us, I am so excited to lay in the bed tonight. Looking up “it has a projector that comes down” I said “as well as the TV in there?” that is impressive actually, imagine all the cuddles I can get while watching TV in the bed “yes” unbuttoning the top buttons of my shirt as I made my way to the bathroom “the bathtub is huge and this mirror, like I am just imagining all the sex we can have and I can watch” Robyn is something else “is that what is stopping you from coming into the bedroom, thinking of sex? When did you become like this?” grabbing Robyn’ hand as I stood behind her “I think it’s you, it’s when I met you. I met a man that knows how to use his dick, now I am addicted” staring down at Robyn, I really can’t wait to spend my every moment with her “like I am you” nuzzling my nose into Robyn hair, her smell, the smell I have missed. Looking up at us in the mirror, Robyn is just smiling watching me “I have missed you so much Maurice, your touch. I just think we needed this and the fact you’re divorced now, I am so happy” I grinned in the mirror “I did it for you, remember that. Nobody else, only you. But we got a lot of work to do, putting things away and stuff” Robyn turned around to face me “I can’t wait for us” Robyn wrapped her arms around my body, my nose lightly touching hers “I mean we could..” Robyn said, I laughed and I laughed because at any chance Robyn is on it “we will, but Reign has no bed either so she will be with us” pressing a kiss to Robyn’ lips before walking off, let her think about that one.
Taking off my smart shoes finally “it’s a weird feeling Robyn, to be in my own home. Like this is home, I have not had a home before. Like a home I know I will be here, I know I will be leaving work to come here” I am taking this off like I won’t be putting them on, we are going out to eat because clearly nothing here is prepared “pootie, baby. You know the walk-in closet, well” Robyn wants something, I know it “there is more space then heels and that can’t happen right?” I am trying to not laugh but I can’t help it “right?” I said, I am confused on what she wants “well, if I be a good girl can we like go shoe shopping?” shaking my head “no, ma’am. Pootie said no” she is a damn trip “I will such your dick tonight!?” shaking my head laughing “only if my Hermosa says she wants shoes, then yes” Robyn gasped “excuse me, what happened to me? I save lives!? That is not right, you are playing us off against each other and I think this is terrible. If I have to go alone to get heels I will be very sad” Robyn is a real life troll, she is funny “I will see what happens, dependant on if Papi is happy, if Papi is not happy then baby you not going to get anything” Robyn pouted at me “mhmm, fine. So, when do I get your black card” who is this woman, Robyn moved my arms and sat on my lap “I want it to say Robyn Davenport, can you make that happen for me. Like I know you can make anything happen” Robyn placed her arm around my neck, using the tip of her nail to trace my lips lightly “Mhmmm” I smirked, Robyn licked my lips before attacking my earlobe.
I knelt behind Robyn, kissing my way back up her body, my tongue, and lips, my hands mapping a path for myself. Then I stood behind her, the hard press of my dick against her backside. I mean yes Terry is waiting for us but she did this, she got me hard. Robyn rocked against me, her hands stretched behind her, exploring the curves of my backside. She opened her eyes and I was already staring at the corner mirror, I perfectly aligned Robyn to where she can see herself, our eyes both met. Robyn licked her lips and breathed out, her knees on the mattress' edge. I entered her wet entrance, hard. I suddenly withdrew and she straightened her legs as I held her, I held her firmly, and then eased into her, her body stretching to accommodate me, her inner muscles contracting against me. Pulling out of her to only immediately thrust into her more deeply, encouraged by her soft moans and shuddered breaths. I moved like this over and over, soon establishing a punishing rhythm, the sounds of our bodies slapping together filling the silence around us. I looked down at where we were joined, my dick glistening from her wetness, and I loved seeing us this way, our joining, our arousal.
“Oh, fuck. Oh, God. Maurice. I'm coming!” In response to her strangled cries, I increased my pace in and out of her, gripping her tightly, my hands digging into the firm muscles of her thighs, supporting her, supporting myself. And, she exploded around me, her inner muscles contracting and gripping, halting myself as I stilled inside of her. She panted, moaning, her body shuddering, her knees bent “God” she moaned “God, that was. Everything!” she spat; her body quaked. I wrapped one arm around her middle, while I continued to move in and out of her, more quickly now “oh my god!” Robyn said, “Yes Robyn, oh yes!” I cried out, my voice bouncing from the walls. I spilled into her, exploding. When the orgasm finally eased, I carefully pulled out of her, lowering her legs safely to the mattress “fuck, I love you” Robyn said, leaning down and pressing a kiss to Robyn’ shoulder, Robyn lazily fell turning around on the bed “I love you more, Feign” crawling onto the bed hovering over Robyn “I just want this good, good!” Robyn placed her hands on my chest “Robbie!, how long? Reign is getting restless” looking up at the double doors “uh, yeah. I am coming now mom” shaking my head, this is all Robyn’ fault “you’re so bad” I said in a whisper “hush! Mom! Don’t worry I am coming!” Robyn is bad.
Fixing my cufflinks walking behind Robyn “did you get changed?” Terry asked “mother!” Robyn spat “I am just asking; he looks like he got changed? Back into his shirt” Robyn giggled, I just looked down at my cufflinks trying to get them fixed in shame. We didn’t even have a shower; I smell like sex. This is all Robyn “so did you both speak; did you tell Maurice about Thomas?” Oh, Terry is not dropping “we toured the home again, stop it. Let’s go now” dapping Jay “my nigga” Jay said laughing “man get up, let’s go” I want to leave now “so how come you took so long? Robbie” Terry wants Robyn to admit to it but I will just jog down these steps and they will catch us up, Robyn and I can now spend all the time together “Maurice, how dare you ditch me?” I heard Robyn say, I ditched her because her mother is not dropping it. To be honest, I could have nutted in Robyn more, I could have gone on for longer with her. She is just so damn beautiful naked, like she can get me hard so quick from being just naked. Waiting in the gallery, like Richard called it “you ran down those stairs, you did the deed huh? You ain’t wait!?” Me and Jay just laughed “yo, I couldn’t stop her. She was on me, she wanted me. I just can’t help it my nigga” rubbing my chest laughing “yo, you need to hook me up. Like on a real, you know girls, get me hooked up” I paused thinking “Ally? I mean if you don’t mind that, you know? Ally is good? I mean a good person” Jay didn’t say anything “you both are awful!” Terry said as they finally came down “wow, Robyn. You can’t be telling my mother in law such things” Robyn just laughed “she harassed me” shaking my head.
Usually at this restaurant you have to book in because it is always busy, but I will see what we can do “look how close the place is from the home, we can walk here. Let me take Reign” I said, taking Reign from Robyn “you hungry? Because daddy is very hungry right now, let’s see if I can get us a table here” Reign is very nosey, she is watching everything and checking on every person that walks by. Jay opened the door for me “Hi, Welcome to Eleven Madison Park. Are you booked already?” the waiter asked “no, it’s last minute. I know you have to always make a reservation but I have been busy” the waiter looked down at the computer “Maurice, we don’t usually do this but we will get you a table” this guy knows “thank you” I said “New York knows you” Jay said “they do” following the waiter, he knows not to turn me back. I know all the little business around here, I know all the owners “can you also get a highchair for my daughter too” he is taking us in the private dining area, this is what I love about going to a five star restaurant, they always have private dining areas which I love, I love privacy.
Smiling at Reign as she sucks her thumb and I hold onto her free hand; I don’t want her to grow up. Look at her cute self, I can’t stop watching her “Maurice, I don’t like her sucking her thumb. You’re just helping her do such a thing” rolling my eyes and turning my head to Robyn “you are spoiling Reign’ zen moment, she is at peace and I am holding her hand through it, leave us alone” my baby’ little fat hand holding onto my finger “so anyways, tell me about Thomas. What did he say to you, we didn’t get to speak on it, you were busy begging for a black card” Robyn scoffed “you are so annoying, I did not beg. I just asked but anyways, he literally came just as I was about to leave. I did think I was going to be emotional or be upset that he came. Maybe my excitement to come here came over me, it was awkward on his end. He just said are you ready to go? Then he saw Reign and said she has grown so much, that she reminded him of me. He just apologised and wish he didn’t ruin my whole outlook on my childhood, but I said it was too late, I cried, I was hurt but I moved on. He then proceeded to speak on how much he misses me, and he does see me as his daughter still and just said he is proud of me. You go with your heart, he said he felt burdened by the lies that I knew and that he felt he needed to tell the truth, he should have dealt with it better but honestly, I am happy to have moved. A new start for me also, you know. I am so optimistic” I am happy that she feels like that “well it’s his loss, he lost two beautiful ladies with a good heart. It’s his loss but I am just wanting you to be happy, as long as you’re happy with that, but you do look happy with it. I think Thomas sees he has lost a family, I think he probably assumed you both may have begged for him back, or even Terry crying still for him but no, forget that” Robyn is happy so who cares what Thomas has lost.
I guess I better tell Robyn what I did, I guess “so Malik has been hiding in my hotel in New Orleans, well my dad put him in there to stay. Noami has left him, her uncle beat his ass and then my dad put him in my hotel so, well. I contacted the hotel and he’s been having parties, ordering things to the rooms and then my staff said drugs, they were scared to phone the police, so I ordered it. Currently, Malik is in jail because of me. But fuck him” Robyn gasped, and I just shrugged because I don’t care “that is terrible, Malik needs help you know that. Jail? That is awful, I know what he did was wrong to us but he is on drugs” I knew Robyn wouldn’t agree with it “what is more awful, Malik going to jail or the fact Tiffany’ child has the same initials as Reign?” Robyn’ eyes bulged out “excuse me? You what!?” I knew that would make her change “Royal Texas Davenport, them fucking assholes stole Reign’ name so I was angry, Kellen came to see me and he was like Tiffany wants me to get her a home the same as yours, she wants the life you are giving Robyn, then he admitted that. He said what can I do to make money still, your dad said that you are stopping the money, so because I was annoyed I did something you may not like or probably will applaud me but I think the first option” Robyn pointed at Reign, looking at Reign and seeing her falling asleep in the high chair but wakes up every time her head falls forward “aww Mi Amor, come here” unbuckling her “finish it off Maurice, what did you do?” picking Reign out of the high chair, placing Reign over my shoulder “hey, no whining. It’s only Papa” rubbing her back “tell me!” Robyn spat “so I said to Kellen, don’t judge me Terry so. Because they are being fucking weird, Kellen stated he is unhappy, I said to him divorce her and then come back to me” Robyn groaned out “Maurice, why are you making these nasty decisions? Do not get involved with that, you’re right Maurice I am not impressed. The bitch hates me that much but don’t do those things” I knew that would have happened “well, when it comes out you already know. And she won’t get anything so yeah, I mean come on. She has been releasing stories about me, about us! Stop caring” I said “really?” nodding my head “I don’t do it maliciously but she deserves it” I do believe Kellen will be putting that divorce through, she will be alone.
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eleanorcasco-blog · 5 years
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LENNY CASCO. If it feels good, tastes good, it must be mine.
name: eleanor fiona “lenny” casco. dob: 05/30/1994 [twenty-five]. occupation: hair stylist. zodiac: gemini. alignment: chaotic evil. mbti: estp. temperament: choleric. hogwarts house: slytherin. face claim: chloe bridges.
hello, lovelies! i’m liss and i’ll be playing lenny (death of a bachelor). this isn’t as fleshed out as i wanted it to be, but i wanted to get it up so i could start plotting with everyone! i’m busy until sunday afternoon but i’m going to try and be on ims as much as possible. i can’t wait to talk to all of you! you can reach me on here or on discord at liss#4287.
late-night neon 'open’ signs, rain cutting into a curl of smoke, an alarm clock going off in an empty room, gold acrylics tapping frantically against a phone screen, thin fingers combing softly through another’s hair, a storm at the end of a beautiful day, red lipstick on collars, a round of shots, a drawer full of lace, fingertips pulling haunted notes from a keyboard.
- lenny’s parents divorced when she was four, though the two kept close in distance to avoid dragging her all over the place. she lived with her mom until she was eleven, and although she was a spoiled brat and a nightmare to parent, she didn’t often do anything specifically wrong. at that point, however, her father gained primary custody, for reasons still unbeknownst to lenny (nowadays, she doesn’t particularly care the reason). 
- her father wasn’t strict about much except school. he had her attend a private school a couple of neighbourhoods over, and it was there that things started to slide downhill. by thirteen, she was smoking, starting fights, having sex. the behavior went by mostly unnoticed, and so it continued. she learned quickly that all of the ‘fun’ things she was doing weren’t all they were cracked up to be--she never felt like she had a particularly exciting youth. she wondered if it was because she’d started so young and just gotten so used to it, or if this edginess of hers just wasn’t as much of a thrill as she’d expected.
- at the beginning of high school, lenny fell in love with music and tried various instruments that never stuck until she found herself playing the keyboard. it was perfect for her, and is still pretty much the only way she lets out any emotions. she’s been in a couple of bands, but isn’t very good at sticking to them.
- lenny has never been in love, but she doesn’t think she’ll ever come as close as she did to the girl she met when she was fifteen. it was a whirlwind romance, over almost as quickly as it had started, characterized by getting high together and fighting way too much. she wouldn’t admit it, but a huge chunk of the reason she doesn’t think she’s going to settle down is because she feels like if that relationship didn’t work out, no other one possibly could. she would scoff at anyone else who thought they had that kind of a connection at fifteen, and if she could look back at it clearly she’d know that it wasn’t ‘that kind’ of a connection at all. 
- each summer she spent with her stricter and more attentive mother, and things started to shape up a little bit each time she stayed with her. but each year she would return to school and to her friends and things would go back to ‘normal’. you could call her a modern-day persephone. 
- again, school was the one thing her father cared about--so she graduated high school in the top five of her class. she even went to a semester of community college, but after failing almost all of those classes (thanks to poor attendance and a general lack of caring), she dropped out. after all, she was an adult now, and what her father wanted didn’t matter.
- adult or not, she still wasn’t quite ready to be on her own, so she moved back in with her mother. her mom helped her be a better human--taught her to cook, got her to stop smoking (cigarettes, at least) for a while, showed her how to respect herself a little more. 
- she got herself a job at a nearby hair salon, having taken cosmetology courses in high school, and she excelled at it. clients not only loved her bubbly and humorous demeanor, but the talent she held for hair styling. 
- all forms of art had always been her strong point, actually, including her favorite--street art. she loves making her mark on the city. she’s always careful not to get caught, and never has been.
- lenny is always insistent on using condoms, for multiple reasons... except when she’s too far gone to notice. when she was twenty, she found out she was pregnant. she didn’t think twice about having an abortion--at least, not until she’d had it. it wasn’t that she wanted a baby at all, because she didn’t and doesn’t think she ever really will. but to this day, she can’t help but wonder from time to time what stage her child would be in, what they would be like. she’d love to dip into an alternate universe where she could have those answers. she doesn’t get sad often, but when she does, it’s often her being wistful about the questions she has.
- at around twenty-two, she moved into her own apartment on venice blvd and has lived there ever since. she’s made a few friends and a few enemies since moving in, but she’s always felt that life is more exciting with a few enemies--she thrives off of drama. she’s often out of the apartment building, anyway, either at work or out on the town. when she is home, she can often be found roaming the building looking for something to do or a partner in crime; she needs constant stimulation or she gets antsy.
- lenny has lost a lot of friends over the years, for plenty of reasons. she’s fiercely loyal to her true ride-or-dies but not at all loyal to those friends that aren’t quite there. she’ll stab most people in the back if it means getting her way or having a good time. she also has quite the attitude, and has been known to pick fights just to have something to do. some friends just drifted away after realizing that she wasn’t going to grow out of the partying and drugs and shitty behavior.
- she’s very much into herself. she’s her own biggest fan. her arrogance and pride can backfire on her sometimes, but she doesn’t learn her lesson. in her eyes, it’s much better to be cocky than to be self-deprecating--and who wouldn’t be cocky, if they were as great as her?
wanted connections:
* all connections are open to all genders. platonic connections are open to all ages and romantic connections should be within a few years of 25.
- ride-or-dies: lenny has probably two or three super close friends, and she would do anything for them. and more importantly, she would never do anything to them, which is more than she could say about most of her friends. could be a ‘likely’ friend who has the same idea of a good time as she does, or an ‘unlikely’ friend who might be quiet, super nice, or a bit of a goody-two-shoes.
- partner in crime: this is her go-to person for getting blitzed with, the person she brings with her to watch or join in on her street art, and the person she feels most comfortable telling her craziest stories to.
- good influence: they try their best to keep her in line, but she’s not the type to be easily kept in line.
- childhood friend: they were good friends in elementary school but have long since drifted apart.
- ex-friends: she’s most likely the reason they aren’t still friends. she may have betrayed them somehow, or they may have just gotten sick of her behavior.
- exes: she probably cheated on them, started too many stupid fights, or got sick of them and ghosted them. she’s never been in love, although she may have been really close with one or two of her exes.
- current flings/hook-ups: lenny will go for anyone she finds attractive, even if they don’t mesh well at all, and even if she thinks they’ll say no (though she doesn’t often think that). this could be just about anyone who could put up with her.
- unrequited crush: could go either way. lenny doesn’t crush often but it’s not impossible.
- enemies: a lot of her ‘enemies’ are people she used to be friends with, but there are certainly plenty of people she’s just always disliked and who have always disliked her. she gets off on the wrong foot with a lot of people. 
- roommate: lenny’s family is relatively well-off but she prefers not to take money from her parents, so i could see her having a roommate to split the bills with. they could get along or completely butt heads.
- cousins: lenny has lived in the area her whole life and has a pretty big extended family.
- bandmates: she plays the keyboard and i envision her as being in a band. that said, her priorities aren’t very straight and her dedication isn’t very strong, which could cause problems.
- clients: whether they love her (her work personality is much more pallatable than her normal) or don’t like her, they come back for the amazing work she does on their hair.
- gym buddy: lenny isn’t the type to go to the gym every day, but she tries to go a few times a week to keep in shape.
- dealer: she’s gotta get ‘em from someone.
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