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luciddownloading · 3 months

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Tarot Reading: What Are Their Thoughts and Fantasies Of You? 😍

Hi and welcome or welcome back to my blog for another Tarot reading. I felt called to do a love-based reading, regarding what your person is currently thinking and fantasizing about when it comes to you. Now, you can make this fit into something more platonic if you like and if it resonates. But, I am strongly getting the vibe, for the majority of you, that this will be about romance.

Before I even start, I can already tell that some people who seriously fumbled are coming through. Today's collective message seems to be: they fumbled the bag (aka you) and they know it. It also seems like a lot of my fellow feminines are recognizing their worth and no longer putting up with anything low-vibrational or that doesn't honor them. And I love that for you guys!

Past people will most likely come through, so if you're over it and don't want to hear it, I understand. But, if you need some closure or confirmation or validation of your intuitive hits, then this might be the reading for you! Whatever the case, your free will always matters. Just because I am telling you that someone wants you back or is coming back doesn't mean you're fated or obligated to be with them.

As always, a) this reading is timeless and b) only take what resonates. Pick the picture that you feel most drawn to. It's okay to pick more than one. Then, see what your pile(s) has to say!

PS: I have gotten into the habit of not taking reversals, so I won't be for this reading. That's my preference for now, as it helps me channel more clearly.

PILE 1

PILE 2

PILE 3

PILE 4

PILE 1

Ten of Pentacles

(clarified by: The Hierophant)

Death

(clarified by: Eight of Cups)

The Lovers

(clarified by: Ace of Wands)

Ten of Wands (back of the deck)

Pile 1, this is some heavy duty energy here! Your person, first off, feels like they have a very "head in the clouds" side to them. Fittingly, for this reading and its pictures. Not to say that they can't be grounded because they do have that energy, too. But, they are a MAJOR daydreamer and I think they spend a ton of time thinking about you. Fantasy by Mariah Carey is the channeled song here. "I'm in Heaven! With my boyfriend" Or girlfriend. Whatever applies. That's like their energy toward you. Except I don't think you guys are actually together. So, this Heaven is just in their head.

Oh, but here's the thing: they might actually have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Or a spouse. I feel, for most of you, this third party is a relatively new or not too serious relationship. But, they are TIRED. Very unhappy in it. And I get the vibe that they had an opportunity to choose between you and this other person. And, well, we can see how that ended up! Omg, you know what just came through? Like how, on The Bachelor or some other dating show, the person is picking between two final contestants. And they pick one and hurt the other. But, the joke is on them because that person they let go was so much better or loved them so much. That's how this person feels about you. For some of you, they may even make that analogy in their head and fantasize about picking you instead on their own "dating show". Lol your person has a very colorful imagination!

You know what I also see? Tiffany Pollard, aka New York, aka Mother of Reality TV. The scene where she's rejected in Flavor of Love 2, in the finale, and crying in the limo. But, then, she goes on to get her own dating show and become even more of a star. That's how this person thinks of you. They know they lost somebody amazing, who they see as a real soulmate, all while they're investing their time in... Okay, I don't want to say "the real loser" but that's what this person thinks, deep down, about who they're with. Yikes! They don't actually like them very much. They may have only gotten with them to rebound from you or make you jealous or find some replacement for you. But, you cannot be replaced or duplicated!

Yeah, they actually compare this person a lot to you. They are actually much more attracted to you. Very sexually drawn to you. I am not picking up anything shady right now, as far as them wanting to "step out". But, um, let's just say, when they're with this person, in bed, they're often thinking of you. If you guys have been physical, they definitely replay those memories. I think it's very hard for them because they want to do what's right and they don't want to hurt this person. But, they are not at all over you and, essentially, they wish you were the one by their side.

I have to be honest, though. They pretty much made their own bed. Not just because they didn't pick you but because they are STILL staying stuck in this situation that they don't want to be in. This person really, really idealizes relationships and commitment. I actually get the feeling that they initially idealized this third party and the life they could have with them. Until they got with them and that shattered. But, they still feel a need to stick it out for... reasons. They definitely take a "sunken cost fallacy" approach to relationships, believing that they just can't break up with someone once they've invested time and energy into it.

Your person could have their Sun, Moon or Rising in the signs of Taurus, Gemini or Scorpio. They are this odd mix of flighty and inconsistent yet very rigid. A need to be in control. Maybe this relationship gives them that. If this person isn't with someone, I think this may not be your pile. Because it's such a strong message. You most likely know about it, too, and know it's mostly for show. Your person fantasizes about this perfect relationship they could have with you, instead. It's like every "couple moment" they have with their person, they imagine what it'd be like with you. They feel like you are done with them, though, or wouldn't want them anymore. They could be right! Maybe you've moved on or they're very paranoid about you being with someone else. They could be grieving the loss of this connection heavily, especially if you're the one who walked away.

I do think they'll circle back, in some way, probably when they end this connection with the other person (because I don't see it lasting too long). You've most definitely made a huge impact on them and have made them want to change their old ways. But, will they? Right now, it's very slow progress, if at all. They spend more time daydreaming about being a "better" version of themselves to win you back than actually working on themselves. So, if you take them back, use your discernment. Also, be aware of how much they can build a potential partner up, unrealistically, in their head, to a degree that is impossible for said partner to live up to.

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PILE 2

Queen of Cups

(clarified by: The Moon)

Knight of Swords

(clarified by: Wheel of Fortune)

Ace of Swords

(clarified by: The Chariot)

The Hermit (back of the deck)

Pile 2, your person hardly knows what they're thinking. I get the feeling that they often don't WANT to fantasize about you because, when they do, it's all consuming and overwhelming. I definitely feel like this is a "separation/no contact" situation that your person doesn't know how to navigate. They are all over the place these days and very troubled, no matter how they try to appear on the outside. No matter how they try to fool themselves (and they are experts in self-deception). They are not as okay as they want to come across to others right now.

We have a lot of signs here that they could have personal placements in: Cancer and Pisces as well as any of the Fixed signs (Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius) and also the sign of Virgo. This person is being pushed to do some soul searching. "For the first time in their life" is what came through. That might be you or their Guides. But, yeah, this person is STUBBORN and has spent a very, very long time clinging to old ideas and, honestly, their own bullshit. Interestingly, I am not getting a lot of "fantasy" out of this pile. No, your person is being pushed to finally wake the fuck up.

A big message coming through, in regards to you, is that they are finally realizing what they had "wrong" before. But, I put emphasis on "wrong" because that's how they see it, in their black-or-white mind. They are often way too judgmental, too logical and disconnected from their emotions. It's not like they don't have emotions, in spite of how they may act. In fact, I get the vibe that, deep down, they actually don't let anyone see that. Including themselves. You got hurt in the process here because they may have been emotionally unavailable or denied their love for you or played around with your feelings. Whatever it was, it caused this separation that you two are most likely in. And I can see your person taking some real accountability for that. Sorry, Blame It On Me by Akon is your channeled song. So, the lyrics may be a message from your person.

However, I don't think they're truly ready to come forward yet. That pride of theirs is pretty absurd. They are less in ego than they used to be but still approaching things in an ego-based way. They don't want to embarrass themselves, especially if they fear you don't want to talk to them or be with them anymore. Actually, they fantasize about all of the potential outcomes of your next conversation. I think they do that to alleviate their anxiety but it just makes it worse. Even though they can picture you being open and reasonable, they can also picture the conversation going horribly wrong and that kind of shuts them down and makes them want to hide.

I also think they see you as this Queen of Cups figure. So, you may have placements in Water (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces). I think you were very vulnerable and emotionally open with them, last time you talked, and they weren't very sensitive or understanding. They daydream about going back and redoing that conversation, especially since they can actually understand what you were talking about now. They view you as a very spiritual person, most likely because you've discussed it with them. You might have even discussed it in regards to your relationship, as in saying you think they're your twin flame or soulmate or telling them about synchronicities regarding this connection. But, that wasn't something they were equipped to take seriously then.

And I am not saying this person has necessarily grown leaps and bounds since. But, they have started awakening spiritually and you played a major role in that. Maybe they're getting into Tarot readings or astrology for the first time. Something I am getting is that they wish you two were talking so you could teach them about all of what they're (cautiously) exploring. They feel like you have some mysterious wisdom and knowledge that they don't and they're craving access to it. Because they feel like it would give them much needed solutions or answers. They're still approaching it from a more "rational" perspective but they're slowly opening up.

They also dwell a lot on your connection and they, too, might be convinced that you're divine counterparts. I can see someone looking at one of those twin flame communities online and trying to learn more and connect the dots. They are truly just trying to figure out the language you speak. If they still have texts or DM's or emails from you where you communicated your feelings or spiritual insights, they read them a lot. They believe you're psychic (and I do, too!). You somehow have just known certain things about them and it had them SHOOK. It still kind of does. But, I honestly feel like they don't plan on doing much of anything right now. I think they either a) expect you to just use your "mind-reading skills" (their words, not mine) to automatically know what they want from you or b) for the Universe to just magically bring you back to them. They are trying to develop faith in the Universe but aren't recognizing that they still have to make their own choices. They can't hand their free will over, in this regard. Also, just because you already psychically know what's going on with them doesn't mean that they shouldn't take that step and voice their true feelings.

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PILE 3

Six of Pentacles

(clarified by: Two of Cups)

Page of Cups

(clarified by: Three of Cups)

Seven of Pentacles

(clarified by: Knight of Wands)

Eight of Wands (back of the deck)

Pile 3, you have some different vibes than the others. This could be romantic but, for a lot of you, I am feeling like it's more platonic. This is someone who is or was a very close friend. I am getting "best friend breakup" as a message. So, this is very likely someone who was once your bestie but you had a falling out. Maybe you drifted apart but I get the sense that there was some sort of major disagreement or conflict that caused this breakup. In any case, I feel like your person fantasizes a lot about making it better. Making it up to you somehow. I feel like they were the ones in the wrong, in terms of whatever went down. Not to say you're perfect but I think you tried your best. I also think there's some sort of "energetic debt" here, as I call it. It's like you gave and gave so much to this person and their unfair treatment of you makes them feel like they owe you something. It could actually be money. Or maybe they want to help you financially. They also could just owe you some sort of apology or explanation.

Yes, the apology is a big message. Apologize by One Republic may resonate. There is kind of an eagerness from them, too, in this regard. I feel like, without you in their life, things have gotten kind of boring or stale. I will be honest. It feels somewhat like they want you back in their life for their own gain. They felt like they really, really benefited from having you close. So they think and daydream about being close to you again. Things going back to the way they were. Little do they realize that things can't truly go back to how they were then. You aren't the same person you were then. I feel like you may have indulged this person a lot or you were constantly trying to make them happy or comfortable.

Definite people pleaser or overgiver energy coming from you. I always have a pile that I have to give this message to. But, I give it with love. You might have realized that a huge part of this relationship, whatever it was, was built on your kindness and generosity toward them. Because of this, that's a major reason why they're missing you. "Nobody can make me feel the way you do", they think. Well, obviously! There is no one quite like you. BUT, what gives me pause is the question of how much this person actually loves you and how much they just love how you make them feel. With them, there's a thin line between the two and I don't think I am telling you anything you haven't already perceived. I think you know this person's agenda.

That doesn't mean that they don't have real love for you because they actually do. They're just very self-absorbed in how they express it. The connection between you two was also real and went deep. Like, past life connection deep. I think you two shared your emotions with each other in a very vulnerable way. You definitely did, anyway. They did to some extent, actually more with you than they do with others. But, they have a very wounded inner child and they sort of looked to you to provide them with a certain healing, support, or comfort. You made them feel safe, which is why this connection ending was like the rug being pulled from under them. I think you both might have had inner child wounding and maybe saw yourselves in one another in that way. But, you grew and healed greatly. They're not quite there yet.

There is a significant Water emphasis here (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces), so this person could have placements in any of those signs. Their energy is kind of funny. It's sensitive and vulnerable yet closed off. Their ego is like a shield and they keep their defenses high. In some ways, they have tried hard NOT to think about you, in the past, or maybe still do. They try to act like all is well, like they're thriving and have their mind on other things. But, this is not only bullshit. It's a facade of "confidence" to compensate for their immaturity and insecurity. For some of you, this person has tried to emerge from this as "the winner". It's silly for many reasons, especially since you don't even care about that. You're in your own lane but they are trying to barge into yours, while acting like they're not. If this is a former friend, they have taken this breakup as hard as a romantic ending. They treat you like an ex that they loudly claim they're over but think about all the time.

I definitely feel like this has had social ramifications. Like mutual friends have gotten involved. But, while this person may have played the victim, I feel like people from your social circle have either stayed neutral or inevitably took your side. I don't mean to drag this person but they can be exhausting and lack the self-awareness sometimes to know when they're being the asshole, all while pointing the finger at the other person. But, most people have peeped their game. I get the sense, for some of you, that you also kind of broke up with your mutual friends or social scene, too, once things ended with this person. Maybe you feared that they had too much social influence and others would turn on you. But, in actuality, their childishness is making people turn on them.

Best Friend by Doja Cat and Saweetie is coming through. That's how this person idealizes you, which is funny because they're also a low-key to high-key hater of yours, especially these days. You are the one who hyped them up, like that song, and they fed on it. The funny message about this, too, is that Doja and Saweetie were more so performing a best friend bond for the song. If I'm not mistaken, they're cool and they're friends but not actually besties in real life. This person is more so in love with the aesthetic of you as a close friend and the way you made them look good. I get the impression that a lot of you are highly attractive and very charismatic and that's a big reason they kept you around.

Again, not trying to villainize them. It's just that their energy is so... surface level. A bit of depth there but I wouldn't be shocked if they want you back to just show off your bond to your mutual friends again. "Hey, look, the dynamic duo is back!" Obviously, use discernment here, in terms of how genuine they are because I do think they can be super-charming and influence people when they want. They think back a lot to your past social life together. For most of you, it involved partying, going out, drinking. They may look at that time as their "glory days" or even the last period of their "youth". They had less worries and concerns, partly because you were with them. So, they romanticize this period a lot, possibly looking at old pictures or videos on social media regularly. I do think you two had a lot of fun together. You're a blast to be around and their life is significantly less fun without you.

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PILE 4

The Lovers

(clarified by: Queen of Swords)

The Sun

(clarified by: Six of Cups)

Ten of Swords

(clarified by: Page of Pentacles)

Wheel of Fortune (back of the deck)

Pile 4, this isn't just about one person. This is about a few people/handful of people and it is hard to pinpoint it. I wouldn't be surprised if you were drawn to the other piles because they have more specific messages about a certain individual. This is more about a pattern in your life that I feel is highly karmic. I would say that your Guides are drawing attention to it but it's not like you don't know. You are well aware of these patterns and pushing through the effects. Essentially, you are on the healing journey that you were always meant to be on, whether you have just started it, after some difficult relationship experiences, or you are persevering through it.

Something I feel called to say is to please not make excuses for someone or rationalize or romanticize their toxic behavior because you think they're your twin flame. I don't want to be harsh but the truth some of you may be dealing with right now is that a certain someone who you thought was your twin flame really isn't. I don't believe in the "false twin flame" label and this person is likely a very important soul connection. But it doesn't mean they're your twin. It also doesn't mean that you have to sit around, waiting for them to heal or mature or put in effort or commit. You could be selling yourself short by doing so. And hey, don't shoot the messenger! Lol some of you needed to hear that, from your Guides, but some of you have already had this epiphany.

Yeah, I am being redirected from talking about what they're thinking. This is about you! You know why? You have put more than enough effort into disappointing connections in the past. It's time to give that love to yourself! You are being represented as this Queen of Swords (doesn't matter if you're male or female, it's just your energy). You could have your Sun, Moon or Rising in Air: Gemini, Libra, Aquarius. You are definitely feminine while also being shrewd, assertive, and with a savage side. You know how to get a little cutthroat when needed and when to cut people out. Whatever your current love situation is, your Guides trusted and knew that it was only a matter of time before you leveled up and moved on.

I'm hearing Why Should I Be Sad by Britney Spears. An absolute bop! (Her Blackout album is pop perfection, if you didn't already know) Anyway, that's your energy right now. You could cry right now over so-and-so but you've done enough of that. Or maybe you do need a good cry or two still. It's okay! But, I think, even as you're sobbing, in the back of your mind, you know there's only so much time left for that until you bounce back like the bad bitch you are. Your Guides are applauding you and so proud of you. I am getting the message that they never have to do much with you. You don't require a lot of interference. You still need help, of course, but you are so wise and smart and strong that you learn a lot of your lessons on your own, especially in love. You reach your threshold in terms of nonsense in relationships and then you're out. I am also sensing that they do sometimes give you "rude awakenings" (like this reading maybe lol). But, the good thing is that you actually pay attention and learn what you need to, instead of just ignoring or getting defensive at the truth like so many people do.

Yet, you still have a heart and it's complex. I feel like, in spite of that resolve, you might still look back at the past, at people from your past, and idealize the connection or romanticize it. But, then, you come to your senses. It's a cycle and a process, so be compassionate and patient with yourself. And don't try TOO hard to move on or get over someone or you won't be truly dealing with your feelings. Still, you have reached a point where you are definitely through with certain people and where exes, people who were once so appealing, are not nearly as attractive as they once we're. It's like you met them drunk, at a bar at 1 AM, and now you're meeting them again, sober, in the light of day, and they look very different now.

As far as what they're thinking of you? Well, they are pretty scared of coming forward. You have a certain bite when you're displeased that can scare some love interests. But, the ones who are scared are usually the ones who need to be called out or held accountable. Even when you do so graciously or civilly, you can hurt some feelings. But, it's worth it to be honest. I am definitely sensing one or two people from the past, who have put you through plenty of disappointment or heartache, as well as a more recent love interest who you would like to leave in your rear view. But, of course, just take that how it resonates.

You are highly desirable, even though you are seen as intimidating (maybe even because of that, at times), and you have plenty of options. But, I hear you thinking, "Do I, really?" Not out of self-doubt but out of a distaste for those who are coming forward or want to come forward. Again, you are leveling up and don't have the tolerance for what you used to tolerate anymore. I can definitely see a new powerful soulmate connection coming in for you this year. One that will actually be healthy and mutually satisfying. And this will happen because you have released these karmic or stagnant connections. You are making space for someone that will actually be fulfilling.

So, it may be exhausting now but please keep going forward and don't look back. It's time. You gave those past people enough chances. And, yes, they will be absolutely kicking themselves once they realize they have missed their chance. Some are already doing that. Because I am picking up a karmic vibe, they will experience the repercussions of not learning their lesson and growing as well as the intense regret of losing someone as awesome as you.

#tarot #tarot reading #pick a pile reading #channeled reading #channeled message #channeled song #pick a card #love reading #tarot love reading #pick a picture

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isaksbestpillow · 2 months

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Iura Arata & Miura Shouhei interview on Modelpress

I translated an Ossan's Love interview with Iura Arata (Izumi) and Miura Shouhei (Kiku) on Modelpress! I skipped the introduction so this is just the interview part. Full article with pictures in the source.

First, how did it feel to get the offer for Ossan’s Love Returns?

Iura: I’ve already worked with producer Kijima Sari three times on Niji-iro karute, Ano toki kiss shite okeba, Unknown, and now Ossan’s Love. Joining a pre-existing team on a show with history puts you to the test. You think you have to bring something new to the table and you wonder what you came to do here, putting these pressures on yourself. It’s no easy feat to jump into the world of Ossan's Love in the middle.

However, what the roles I’ve gotten from producer Kijima have in common is they’ve all, in one way or another, discussed themes of overcoming the grief of losing someone. In my performance on Ossan’s Love I’m exploring new approaches to this theme within the show’s world.

Miura: I also first worked with producer Kijima on Ano toki kiss shite okeba. There are a few people whose offers I never decline, and she is one of those people. I had been watching Ossan’s Love before, so when I got the offer, I remember being more excited as a viewer that Ossan’s Love was getting a sequel.

What do you think makes Ossan’s Love so charming?

Miura: These older men are so serious and pure in their love. It’s both adorable and heartbreaking, it warms your heart to see it. As a regular viewer I was simply enjoying the show, but as soon as I entered the set, I understood the Ossan’s Love team is brimming with love, the cast and the staff all come together as a team to create this show. I understood the reason why Ossan’s Love is so loved by fans and resonates with audiences.

Iura: It’s a wonderful show first of all, one that has left its mark in our time, so entering the set made me feel even more strongly that I need to come prepared to face this work. Even so, the Ossan’s Love team took us in with open arms, and I feel the love and passion they have for this show.

You have worked with each other before. Were there moments when you felt reassured by each other’s presence amidst the pressure of filming?

Iura: I first worked with Miura-kun on Ano toki kiss shite okeba. We kissed on that show, so he’s my first same-sex kiss.

Miura: We’d already kissed before Ossan’s Love, haha.

Iura: Yes, haha. We also play a father and son on Hikaru kimi e, so we’ve been working together for about six months, and as our work together increases, we start thinking we want to try something new next time, putting these pressures on ourselves again, haha. But truly, with Miura-kun I don’t have to worry about a thing, but I don’t want to feel safe, that’s my mindset. It feels reassuring to be able to maintain that kind of a relationship, we can try new things, so working with him is a lot of fun.

Miura: Exactly. Conversely, I wonder how the relationship between our characters would’ve turned out if we’d been strangers. It’s already quite intimidating to join a team where everyone already knows each other to play a romantic relationship, and if your romantic partner is someone you haven’t worked with before, that makes it that much harder. But since my partner was Arata-san, I was safe and secure, haha.

You said you were welcomed with open arms on set. How was the filming?

Miura & Iiura: It’s such a wonderful environment!

Miura: Of course, there have been plenty of friendly shoots, but I hadn’t really experienced a filming like this before where the laughter is never-ending. It was probably the most hilarious shoot of my career. I mean, the director is howling of laughter behind the camera.

Iura: You hear laughter during the actual shoot, haha. Everyone is chitchatting right up until the test shoot. In my younger days I might’ve snapped at that and become a bothersome person, believing the set should be more charged, but Ossan’s Love makes me see this kind of shoots are good, too.

The cast and staff are all artisans with their own decks of cards, so when the cameras start rolling, it becomes a game of who plays their trump card. Everyone is so focused on their performance you start to wonder what was that happy chatter just moments earlier. This ability to switch between modes is what keeps the shooting fun.

Miura: It’s a fun but also a very balanced environment.

Do you have any anecdotes or scenes where you felt like you had entered the world of Ossan’s Love?

Iura: On my first day, I filmed a scene with Kei-kun’s Haruta where he does his “what’s going on???” reaction. I didn’t understand what was happening at all, but behind me Kei-kun was moving a lot, the world of Ossan’s Love and Haruta that I’d seen before were right there, and it made me think, “Oh, we’re filming Ossan’s Love! I’m filming Ossan’s Love!”

Miura: Mine is also from the first day, when I entered the shoot at a different time from Arata-san, I saw Kei-kun gracefully emerge from the studio bus, followed by Koutarou-san, and that’s when I thought, “Ahh, this is Ossan’s Love!”

Can you tell us more about your feelings towards your roles?

Iura: To Izumi, Kiku is someone whose presence he takes for granted, whose presence makes him feel so at ease he’s like air, like a married couple. But Izumi hasn’t caught on Kiku’s feelings at all, so even when their eyes meet and Kiku looks at him like a puppy, Izumi believes that’s just Kiku’s personality. Izumi hasn’t yet realized how grateful he should be that Kiku continues to be there for him and see him even though Izumi does nothing, but as an actor I feel the continuous love pouring out of Kiku.

Miura: Right now, Izumi-san can’t survive without Kiku, haha. He was incredible in the police force, but Kiku has seen his hopelessness since losing Akito, so Kiku feels like he should support him. In addition, he’s also in love with Izumi but bottles up those feelings, and as they spend time together, the lid on those feelings begins to crack open… I think that’s when this interview will come out, haha.

Miura: Izumi and Kiku’s story is going to unfold moving forward, but while grieving Akito Izumi also appears develop feelings for Haruta-san… How will this rice ball ball shaped love-triangle turn out?

What can we look forward to in the relationship between Izumi and Kiku?

Iura: Haha. Seriously a lot is going to happen, but what’s going to happen to Kiku… In any case, Kiku is hurt inside.

Miura: Since taking this role, I’ve mostly looked hurt. I make a heartbroken face at least once per shooting day.

Iura: Izumi and Kiku are both hurt in different ways, so they’re always heartbroken, haha. What will happen when they face each other? Or will they face each other? I hope you’ll enjoy the rest of the story, this aspect included .

#ossan's love returns #ossan's love #iura arata #miura shouhei #my translations

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youthnighttarot · 2 years

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PAC Reading:Drop Ur Draws

Why your person want you to drop your panties for me baby…?🫦💋🫦💋🫦💋👅💦💦🍑🍆🍆🍑🍆🍆🍑

Pile 1

Tarot Cards: Emperor,KoPrv

First things first I’m strongly getting this person is very dominant. They may even be an Aries for some of you….or have mars placements in there chart….maybe you do. They have a very masculine energy about them whatever gender identity they may be. They would like to be dominant with you especially. They wanna take control of you, they want power……power that’s over you. (Whoa🫣)That’s why they want you to drop those underwear because it shows their control over you. (When it comes to the bedroom at least) They may even command you to drop your panties/underwear in a authoritative tone or with a commanding voice. They may have been a lieutenant or some type of military sarge….they may also be a CEO or in some type of leadership role in general. (They could just like to guide people or help them in some way)They won’t be asking twice either I’m hearing. With the KoPrv here I’m getting they have something with there money or regarding their job that has them in a rut. Whatever it may be something about when you two come together changes all of that for them. You are like a super charge for them. Like they can finally relax and feel better. This person wants to discipline you when you get out of line. They may also in some way teach you self-discipline or vice versa. Yea they really wanna teach a lesson in the bedroom…like they want you to know this bad girl/boy act isn’t gonna cut it with them. Ace of wand popped out at the back of the deck…this person has a huge d**k, and I mean huge. It’s super veiny too…and for women they have a nice plumpness to the vagina it like a pillow. (I can’t pile 1 😆) This person is really kinky 😝. Even though they are quite dominant…this person is coming to offer you a cup of their love (Ace of wands energy). They want to show their gratitude to you. They really see themselves being happy with you. For some of you this person may want to bring some much needed discipline to your life. This person wants not only spank that ass…they also wanna show you love and for you to show them love. I got confirmation of this with the two of cups…they definitely want to love on you pile 1. For some this could be your soulmate 😍….they may be a Taurus, Leo, Or Aries or have that somewhere in their chart. There may be a lot of people that pick this pile so take it as it resonates. They are coming in quick and hot and they’re coming towards you. You may have even been wondering, searching, or waiting for this person. And pile 1 may I say justice is being served!!! Perhaps you may have been done wrong in the past. But you are receiving justice and good karma because of this. I definitely getting this is my same sex pile for some of you…this definitely feels like a soulmate or at the very least a karmic connection that is strong. You feel as though you can be vulnerable with this person emotionally, physically, and spiritually. You both may learn discipline from each other which could be one of…the many reasons you guys come together. This is a verrrrrry passionate person pile 1. You guys might have a lot of quickies or you might just be having one when this happens…👀😝 Though this person makes it feel very good…when you are not having quickies they feel like a grounding and stabilizing force for you. They may even get fierce or fired up one it comes to you or about you. This person is powerful in bed and they are not afraid to show you. You could be wondering or awaiting some results…I’m not sure. It could either be news or results from a test (Just be careful pile 1) Or for others you could have just been waiting on that kittykat/Peen fear not you don’t have to wait very long…lol. This person loves the nape of your neck or your neck to back area. This news pile one may cause you or force you to find balance…and create some self-discipline. It may not be favorable news but you will work through it. One last thing pile 1 they have the best stroke game it’s on SupaSan or they are really good at giving head/fingering.

Pile 2

Tarot Cards: Hierophant,3oS

(Firstly right off the bat pile 2 I’m getting 333 take a look at what that angel number means) This could be a third-party relationship…if you know you know and if you don’t then it may not be for you or…this could be your warning now. If you’re not a a relationship then your person may want to have a threesome with you…if you are into it. If so let them know lol. Again I’m getting relationship vibes so this may be my relationship pile…if your not in a relationship this could be the future or it may not be your pile. I see your person as in their head about what’s traditionally acceptable. For some you may even be in a marriage. They are really thinking about the institution of marriage and how that relates to us I heard. This may even be someone you’ve been with for a long time which is why the topic of marriage is coming up. They may feel like there is a lot of learning you can do about each other…especially about your bodies. This would make sense if your in a marriage or a long-term partnership…you have that time to really get to know each other inside and out. You guys truly see each other. They may have left you feeling confused and emotionally heartbroken. They had you really in your head when it concerns you. Don’t get to disappointed I don’t believe this person is purposely doing this. They could just have issues when it comes to laws and institutions. I’m getting it’s hard for this person to be emotional and open up to people which may sometimes show them in a cold light. I getting this because this may be displayed during this interaction. This person can just shut down or physically/emotionally walk away from you or the situation. They seem confused and I believe that’s where the confusion energy is coming from. They are just really unsure on what to do. Your person is like should they wait should they do it. (For some this might be that this person is a virgin) Or maybe they are bound to religious beliefs that they’re trying to uphold but it’s causing them inner conflict…which is impacting them on the outside. I’m sorry pile 2 I’m not getting too many sexual messages. Though your person does enjoy different forms of missionary. They also like to switch it up every now and again. This person is firey or maybe you are. When they are not running from their emotions for you…they see this passion they have for you. They’re trying to stop this cold and rigid persona they give off. They know it’s not good nor is it healthy but this is a challenge for them. This may even have to do with their pride. They may be insecure about who they are or who they are in regards to sexual intimacy…they may be the reason I’m not getting too many sexual messages. (3:33on the clock as I’m writing this) I do believe that you both can learn a lot from each other much like pile 1…however you need to sit down and have a truthful conversation with each other and yourselves. Something beautiful will come from this challenging space pile 2. You guys really enjoy being around each other…the third-party could also be a metaphor for the sexual taboos that they want to explore with you. This is very emotionally intense. They may want to see a long-standing connection with you but they worry because they are unsure of how this would be emotionally for them. Will this leave them feeling tricked in the end? So your person just needs some reassurance from you and to really to with you. However on a light note you both are very playful with one another and I was getting that with the play fighting. Lol you two are too cute. This may be a childhood friend or crush…as well as someone you just know from your past. Very familiar energy…they see you as single and not tie down to one person. They see you as independent of religious codes. This is gonna be a really playful energy between the two of you. But still passionate…you could be moaning so loud you lose your vocal cords in the morning. (Ok pile 2) Your gonna feel like you’re both walking away from emotional traumas together which is beautiful pile 2. They like biting on your lip they could love everything about your lips including what they do lmllll. You may have juicy lips and even if you don’t they still love them. Sorry I didn’t get a whole lot of sexual messages.

Pile 3

Tarot Cards: Star

It’s starting off kind of sad, this may have been someone who in the past manipulated you in some way. Or in the past knew your inner truth/ still knows your inner truth, which is the real you. You could feel like with this person you never know emotionally what your gonna get. Almost like you’re drawing a card each time you interact with this person. They or you may impulsively rush into things and end up misusing your/their powers in some way because you didn’t fully think it through. This is something that they want to change about themselves, this is now their time to be honest with the inner truth and how that relates to them. One or both of you could be used to manipulation or excessive control, they could’ve even manipulated you into sex which is is just honestly vulgar. Even if it’s not sex they manipulated you into to giving them intimate aspects of yourself. It was almost like you had to constantly guess whether or not they were gonna be the person you fell for or the enemy you feared. (I’m sorry pile 3) This person sees you as their star or a star, they believe that anyone who will cheat on you or put you in second place doesn’t deserve you ironically. They see you as being balanced both emotionally as well as physically (Possibly even financially) they view you as a grounded being. You truly are a force of nature to this person...ok I heard bushel and I’m laughing to myself. Do you know someone who says that pile 3 what the heck!!?? Anywho this person may be very sarcastic in some one either overly or discretely. You will really see this come out during your bedroom activities which is why I believe this came out lol. They like to view your body the shape, the curves, dents, pockets you name it they love and want to see it. They like looking at your hairy genitals lmlll your partner understands you’re grown and loves to see that. They feel like you get really wet when your in the bed with them, you make them light with fire and passion until they can get their hands on you. With the type of s** ya’ll have they are never sure how it will go, like will it be quick and passionate or slow and intimate? ( Ok I see you pile 3) Whatever it may be you both will be balanced by the end of it inside and out. Maybe in your past pile 3 you may have felt this was not a significant relationship or partnership but I’m getting this is your soulmate or some form of a karmic connection. You may have never seen yourself with this person in a million years let alone have a passionate relationship with this person. You may have even know that they wanted to be with you, but you weren’t really into them like that or in that way....so you didn’t want to lead them on knowing this. You weren’t able to give them that attention they were seeking during that time but, now you’re looking at your deck of cards from a new perspective and seeing this person differently. You’re looking introspectively for the first time when it comes to this person. You see this can definitely be something that is beautiful... there is a quiet power between the unity of the both of you. This is a very romantic type of person...the type to have candle lit dinners with you and f**k on the terrace afterwards. (And did) They would f**k you in the restaurant bathroom and roof.....(Ok pile 3 settle down now) They see you as deserving any and everything and nothing but the best for you. They could have seen someone put you in a third-party relationship which is why they want to spoil you rotten. They move away from things that don’t serve them and they see you as doing the same. This is a really romantic connection and may even be a soulmate or past-life connection. Shaved came out in reversed so I definitely think this person loves that you don’t shave or won’t want you to shave. We love a natural queen/king! When you drop those draws they will be staring at that bushel lmfaoooo. (Who the hell says that I need to know comment if that’s you) At the back of the deck it says I’m not him or her so keep that in mind when pursing this person, you both have been hurt and when you come together it will be very healing and wet!!

THANK YOU FOR READING...!!!

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isobellenoire · 6 months

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Solas is Neurodiverse.

This is of course my opinion, don't invalidate me, if you find comfort in this character then I'm glad, join the party!

• Info dumping (You boost his approval by asking him about magic & the fade... and oh my world does he have a lot to say about it!)

• Strong sense of justice... freeing the slaves, wanting to right wrongs. He feels so strongly about injustice, especially when he can sympathise (mages & elves) a strong sense of social justice is often linked with ND people because we are marginalised, mistreated and ridiculed. I can often get angry, irate and depressed when there's injustice in the world and for a lot of my ND friends it's the same.

• Likes to be alone (he still has friends who are spirits, but he doesn't actively seek out companionship with people) prefers his own company. (Hermit tarot... come on! I'm crying in INTP/INTJ here)

• Always reading, writing, he even paints a whole ass mural on the walls as skyhold in a short burst of time, hyperfocus/hyperfixation.

• Comes across as blunt. I've been told I'm blunt so many times it's infuriating when I don't mean to be, I'm just firm in what I know to be true and will say it without dancing around the matter.

• Speaks 'strangely' in a poetic rhythm. While not an exclusive trait, given everything else it holds merit.

• He does have a great deal of empathy if you romance him/get to know him, but on a surface level he seems distant because he doesn't open up personally! It takes a LOT to crack that egg. I'm 4 years into a committed relationship and I still get told I don't open up enough when I'm struggling with emotions because I keep them internalised... probably a trauma response but in Solas' case... yeah, definitely a trauma response.

• Comes across argumentative when talking about stuff to which the group (Dorian especially during party banter) will ask if he's upset with them, and he says he isn't. ND people are always stuffed in the 'uncanny valley' and seen as outsiders, or stand-offish... we're just not very good with social nuances in terms of delivery, but are deeply self aware of that and prefer to observe, and I argue Solas is incredibly self aware. (Knows when he is being 'selfish' or 'foolish')

• Incredibly knowledgeable on a lot because he's intensively researched it, has to know everything about that subject and becomes deeply immersed in it.

• He never lied about anytning, he just didn't throw it out there... Autistic people can lie you know... however not once did he lie, he just kept his secrets hidden, that's very different to lying. Lying wild be 'Are you Fen'Harel'?... 'No' I've kept secrets from people for a long ass time to spare their feelings and my own self interest. (Not as bad as it sounds ahah! Just an example)

• History nerd... C'mon most of us have a favourite time period that isn't this one...

• I mentioned the paintings, he's also an artist, as well as a dreamer. A lot of us have infiltrated science or the arts... or both! Most of the world's leading scientists and artists are ND. He probably has an idetic memory.

I have more if people care to hear it, but in my opinion and based on my own personal experience being AuDHD, I'd say he is. I resonate with his character more deeply than the others because no ND person is alike and we all have our own personal struggles/wins.

A similar example in media to Solas would be (and hear me out ahah) Walter White (minus the drugs) but intelligence and the way he speaks to others, hides stuff from people (and assumes an alias to seperate himself) I definitely see WW as Autistic. So why not Solas?

Can we please stop infantalizing ASD, and applying the manic pixie lense to it, there's so much more to it that just 'quirky'. Cole is practically confirmed, people have debated Sera being ADHD, but also they are painted with a similar 'childish' brush.

Thanks for coming to my ted talk ahah.

#solas #solas dragon age #dragon age #dragon age dreadwolf #dragon age inquisition #solas dread wolf #da:d #solas is Autistic #autism #autistic headcanon

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trans-axolotl · 9 months

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for about two years now ive struggled with relapses in self harm and have not really known how to deal with my desires for harm, health, and existing thoughts on antipsychiatry. ive been accessing psychiatric resources for well over a decade with a lot of trauma inflicted over that time. ive also dealt with really harsh approaches to reducing self harm that both began the problem in the first place and worsened it.

ive been working with my therapist to stop self harming but, to be honest, i have no desire to stop. i try my best to reduce risk where i can such as not self harming in an emotional state, using clean implements, and keeping it light. previously i didnt care about any of those things and self harm was mainly a dangerous coping mechanism. but now i see it almost as a form of body modification with a lot of intentionality to it.

i really dont know what to think. its objectively dangerous since i am harming myself but i also cant agree with the general aims of therapy and psychiatry to stop self harming as an ultimate goal. i want to be happy and healthy and for me that means living with self harm as a reality of something i will continue to do. and i think its my right as an autonomous person to choose what i do with my body, even if its harmful. yet i can feel the claws of psychiatry and feel so much shame and hatred towards the fact i cant stop. or more significantly, that i dont want to.

sorry for such a long ask, but essentially what im getting at is, how does one handle harm reduction when there is no desire to ever fully stop? i believe in my own right to bodily autonomy but ive also been told repeatedly that using my bodily autonomy to harm myself makes me undeserving of it and instead in need of carceral punishment. how do i even begin to navigate those contradictions of feeling like ive been horribly hurt and dehumanized and feeling like on some level ive deserved that dehumanization because of the pain i inflict? is self harm as body modification even a concept or idea that people have discussed? since i mainly just see it discussed as a coping mechanism.

content note: continued discussion of self harm and self harm methods.

Hi, anon. Thanks so much for reaching out.

I really resonated with so much of what you shared. It's really hard to try to navigate all our feelings associated with self harm when we are constantly hearing from society that our self harm makes us dangerous or unworthy or unable to live outside of institutions. For me, it honestly feels really violating when other people like providers try to push their narrative of what self harm means onto me. My relationship with my self harm is so personal and there's a lot of different meaning I attach to it, and I want the room to be able to talk about it in a way that actually makes sense to me.

Something that's helped me in trying to navigate all of this for myself is really just to come back to these values of bodily autonomy and harm reduction. A really important harm reduction value for me is that it is completely okay if people don't ever stop (whether we're talking about drugs, self harm, disorderly eating, etc). It's important to me that we can defend people's right to do all these things and recognize that harm reduction should not be just another method of coercion trying to convince people to stop. I strongly believe that people can have meaningful and valuable lives that also include self harm as a part of our lives. I want to build a world where we can say that we're not interested in completely stopping self harm and that statement is not reacted to with shame or blame, but rather with curiosity and respect for the fact that we are the experts on our own lives and choices. Part of encouraging autonomy is recognizing that we are allowed to make choices about our lives that might not be what the psych system wants us to make.

Anyway, all of this is to say: I think it's okay if you're not interested in ever stopping self harming, and I know a lot of people who also feel similarly to you. You absolutely have the right to interpret your self harm in a way that makes sense for you. I've definitely heard other people talk about self harm as body modification (I think some of the harm reduction zines in this google drive might talk about it, but I haven't read through them in a while. Continued content note for discussion of self harm, self harm methods, and diagrams of anatomy and self harm). It makes a lot of sense why you might connect self harm and body modification, and that's something that would resonate with a lot of other people. You have the right to build a life that includes self harm as a part of it, and find a way to do it that makes sense for your body and life.

That feeling of dehumanization you described is so so real. I really just feel a lot of rage towards a psychiatric system that makes us feel so hurt and conflicted. Untangling that learned shame and hatred towards ourselves is so fucking hard, but just know that you are not alone in that and that we have the right to reject the ways the psych system punishes us.

And I want to be clear that none of this is to downplay the very real harm, pain, or risk that can come with self harm, but rather to point out that abstinence only methods, shame, and carceral psychiatry did not do anything to support me with that. Instead, it left me feeling trapped and like it was worthless to even try to figure out what I needed in really difficult moments. So I also really just want to acknowledge and celebrate all the stuff you listed in your ask--using clean implements, not self harming in an emotional state, and keeping it light. I'm really glad that you've found some steps to take that make self harm more manageable for you. Those are not lesser steps or a waste of your time just because you are not interested in stopping self harm, and those things are such a great example of how harm reduction doesn't require you to stop self harming in order to make some changes that reduce risk.

Just sending a lot of love and solidarity to you, anon, from another person who is not interested in completely stopping self harm, even as my relationship to my self harm shifts and changes over the years. There are a lot of us out here and we deserve to have the space to openly talk about these things without facing judgement.

💜💜💜💜

#asks #self harm tw #antipsych #psych abolition #harm reduction #harm reduction is so important to me. didn't go on this in the main post bc it's a tangent but just like #the co-optation of harm reduction by the gov and nonprofits makes me so fucking annoyed.#i learned harm reduction from other sex workers and drug users bc it was what were doing to survive. to me harm reduction needs to be based #in radical autonomy and liberation and with the understanding that it's totally fine and neutral and okay if ppl never stop #also my own relationship to self harm is not one where stopping it completely is a priority. there's a few forms of self harm i want to sto #bc it's really hard to accurately judge the risks of that self harm. and also because it was really difficult for my loved ones to watch an #i care about that. but i feel totally okay with the thought that cutting may or may not be a part of my future. and that i will find #love joy meaning. all of that. regardless. and that there are times im grateful for how self harm helped me survive #as much as there are times i hate it and times that self harm were so incredibly destructive to other parts of my life. it is soooo complex #for me! and i cannot just label it the way psychs want me to #anyway. lots of love anon.

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ren-shonen · 5 months

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For the fanfic ask meme – I: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)? (or just a theme/motif/etc. you enjoy, guiltiness aside)

I mean, I think I've discussed this before in your hearing, but I don't really think about things in terms of being "guilty pleasures" — guilt implies that I think I'm doing something wrong, or something I shouldn't be doing, and imo that doesn't really apply with fic. I have plenty of things I read that I wouldn't necessarily advertise, but that's more because it's nobody's business or because it just isn't something to bring up out of the blue except certain spaces. But my AO3 bookmarks are, I would say, not particularly shy.

As far as themes or motifs that crop up a lot, though, hmm.

On a broad level, hurt/comfort is probably the thing most likely to draw me in with a fic. There's something about "things are bad, but not entirely bleak, and we're not alone" that just resonates with me really hard. It balances and contrasts sharp and sweet in a way that is satisfying, too. I particularly like that it has the potential to explore things like the paradoxical pain that comes with relief: with the difficulty finally lifting, but when it all fully lands — when a character has space and safety enough to "lose it," and to grieve.

Some more specific motifs include: food as an expression of love; touch as a vitamin/nonsexual physical intimacy; and ambiguous relationships — especially relationships that are close but aren't easily encapsulated by an established category. I feel particularly strongly about that last one, actually. (And I doubt any of this comes as a surprise to you whatsoever! lol)

Specifically as a writer, I think all of the above definitely fits. My favorite fic of what I've written so far is also the one where multiple people said it made them cry! So I think there's probably some notion of enjoying evoking strong, resonant emotions in the reader. Intimacy, resonance, intensity — all apply.

Format-wise, I tend to write a lot of vignettes, little isolated moments in time, but that's more due to the fact that I have yet to develop my plot-writing chops than from any innate preference, maybe? (I think it mostly stems from the fact that, as a writer, I started out writing poetry! Long-form prose is honestly still very challenging for me.)

Perhaps in that sense, writing straight-up verse is a bit of an indulgence for me specifically, mainly because I have less confidence that others get as much out of it as I put in. (This bears out, so far: my two actual-poem fics get the least interaction out of the whole batch of works I wrote for heart sounds. The person I wrote them for loved them, though, and that's enough.)

#meme #answers #fanfic ask meme #about me #n r chatter #thanks for the ask!#menord

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emotionallychargedtowel · 1 year

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Getting-acquainted questions from the lovely @waitmyturtles, who I’ve been enjoying getting to know and would love to continue to know better. Thanks for the tag!

I’m going to skip the tagging part myself, sorry. Tagging people on things like this always makes me off-the-charts anxious. If you see this and are interested in it, though, please feel more than welcome. The tagging prompt, should you choose to accept it, is to tag nine people you would like to get to know better.

Three Ships:

Hira x Kiyoi - These two are frustrating and deeply weird but their story is so compelling in a way that’s relatable despite, or maybe because of, their weirdness. And then occasionally they are the absolute sweetest. Their relationship isn’t likely to closely resemble viewers’ real-life relationships, yet the issues and emotions that get explored in their story resonate much more broadly. My forever blorbos.

Togawa x Nozue - Old Fashion Cupcake is like the Jane Austen novel version of a BL. Things look calm on the surface but so much emotion is simmering underneath and every stray word, glance, or social gesture is invested with an immense amount of meaning (and often, misinterpreted). Totally my wheelhouse. Nozue’s mixture of charm, competence, and frighteningly low confidence is super endearing, while Togawa’s assertive, purposeful side is undercut by how vulnerable his feelings for Nozue make him.

Seo Joon x Ji Woo - I love the subtle, complex way their story developed in season 1 of To My Star and although season 2 was like a punch in the gut, it ended up working well for me in the end. There’s something so special about when an incredibly guarded person finally opens themselves up to caring for and being cared for by others, like when a feral cat finally lets you pet them.

First Ship:

Like, first in my lifetime, or first since I got into BL, or something else?

The first time I ever heard about ships/shipping as a term was when I was watching Veronica Mars in my 20s. I was pro-LoVe, Logan and Veronica, 100%.

I think the very first time I rooted for two characters on TV to get together was probably watching Moonlighting as a kid and wanting Cybil Shepherd and Bruce Willis to get together. That or Sam and Diane on Cheers. In both cases, when those people finally got together, the aftermath was a huge letdown. I think I still have baggage from both those shows!

I think the first BL ship I really felt strongly about was probably Hira x Kiyoi. I’d already seen some BLs and enjoyed them but hadn’t gotten really invested in that way until Utsukushii Kare.

Last Song:

KAYTRANADA fr. H.E.R. - Intimidated

This song is a bit outside my usual area but I’ve been trading song recommendations with a friend lately, and as a result, I’m listening to a bunch of things I normally wouldn’t. This is one of my favorite things my friend has shared with me so far.

Last Movie:

I’m part of the way through watching Minari with my husband and really enjoying it (although it’s also stressing me out). I have young kids so seeing a movie from start to finish with no interruptions is rare. If we’re only counting movies I’ve seen from start to finish, the last one I watched was Broker, which I loved.

Currently Reading:

I’m listening to the audiobook version of How the Word Is Passed by Clint Smith--I highly recommend the audiobook specifically. Smith is a poet as well as a journalist and his style of narration in the audiobook is engaging, artistic, and just contributes a lot to the work.

Re-reading portions of The Dance of Anger and The Dance of Intimacy by Harriet Lerner for a post I’m thinking about.

I’m also reading a couple of books about UX research for job search reasons but y’all don’t want to hear about that.

Currently Watching:

BLs:

Utsukushii Kare season 2

Ameiro Paradox

Blueming

note: I keep almost starting Bad Buddy but there are a bunch of options for watching it online and I’m getting a little paralyzed by too many possibilities. If anybody has any advice about the best place to watch it, please let me know.

tokusatsu:

Kamen Rider Build

Kamen Rider Revice

Avataro Sentai Donbrothers

American stuff:

Poker Face

Abbott Elementary

His Dark Materials

Currently Consuming:

Just had an everything bagel. Currently obsessed with an NYT recipe for “creamy doenjang pasta.” Probably going to raid my husband’s stash of dried mangoes at some point here. Well, raid in the sense of stealing a couple of pieces.

Currently Craving:

Chinotto (the Italian soda). I had a place I could buy this stuff in Austin but I don’t know of a place that has it here in the Seattle area. It’s bitter and aperitif-ish, made with a kind of sour orange. It’s basically like if cola was a bit more complex and weird.

It’s such a cliche, but chocolate. I’m not a big fan of the chocolate we keep around the house for the kids (Cadbury’s Dairy Milk) and don’t have any of my own, so I may have to bake something.

Utsukushii Kare season 2, episode 2. I’m not used to watching BLs as they come out weekly so the wait for next Tuesday is making me a bit cranky.

Diptyque Eau Capitale - I’m obsessed with this perfume but I only have a small sample so I’ve been hoarding it. It’s a really classy, complex, well-blended rose-patchouli thing. Super cozy. I should honestly go put some of it on right now, to heck with hoarding.

#questionnaire type things

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hologramcowboy · 1 year

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Hi HC. I just read your lovely answer to the anon asking what question you would ask Jensen. I was struck by this part: “Which is why I am a strong believer in getting into a charismatic state by focusing on the appreciation you feel because, like I wrote above, people can sense it strongly and it will draw those who resonate right to you.” This lead to a non-Jensen related question. I’ve been doing a lot of work on myself lately, addressing my issues, leveling up internally, etc. and your comment really resonated with me. Would you elaborate on it? Do you use self talk to reach that state or meditation? I’m sure it gets easier as you do it, but as a beginner, I’d love to hear your input. Thanks for sharing!

What a beautiful, beautiful question. Thank you for sharing a bit about your journey, sounds like you are leveling up and I'm loving it. I am humbled by your ask and will try to share some of what has worked for me. For those who want context for this ask, here's a link to the post the Anon is referring to. When it comes to Appreciation, it's one of the fastest and most powerful ways to step into a charismatic state, the way you practice it is highly personal but, like you noted, the more you practice it the more those neural pathways become stronger and the easier it will be to access that state. I use lists, meditation, visualization, even musical playlists. If I know I’m about to meet someone that is highly important to me I always take the time to tune in to the energy of them and all the things I adore about them. This may sound woo woo but it’s actually extremely practical because by reminding myself why I appreciate this person, why I value them I also tune in to what I want to express, what experiences would fit us and other aspects that bring about inspiration and allow me to speak from the heart. If let's say you meet someone by surprise you can still totally do this quickly in your mind, focus and tune in to how you feel about them and let those emotions emerge. Self Belief - I've written before about how self image is key. To have a charismatic presence one has to be in harmony with themselves and believe they are worthy of whatever it is they are going for. If you can't view yourself positively then try viewing yourself through a person that loves you's eyes. Imagine what they would say about you and step into that. Imagination - Your inner talk about someone is later revealed by tensions in your body language around them so ensure you practice your inner self talk towards them in constructive ways. Goes without saying but inner self talk towards your self also needs to be healthy and empowering, especially if you want to be charismatic. Presence - I would say the biggest thing is presence, because when you engage people while fully present they will feel like the only person in the world in those moments. To be present you need to release worries, fears, monkey mind and ground yourself in your current experience to be able to listen charismatically to the person speaking. This means priming your mind for the upcoming interaction by taking a moment to use any exercise that helps you become present. Because any stress you feel will be revealed in your body language and you will send out the wrong message, if you are not careful. Depending on what works for you, that might mean doing a grounding exercises, taking a few deep breaths, meditating, maybe grooming a special way if the occasion requires it, whatever helps you step into a relaxed, resourceful state, a Peak State. Vulnerability - It's so powerful. Share a few things about yourself that allow others to connect to you. Compliments - Express something you genuinely love about someone because it allows you to connect to them and most importantly, learn how to take compliments instead of dismissing them. Denying or minimizing the person's compliment towards you is like refusing a gift. When you do compliment, always clearly explain why you love what you love about them. Warmth – People decide if they trust you in the first milliseconds they meet you. Which is why your micro-expressions and body language are highly important, that’s a more scientific way of saying your energy speaks for you when you walk into a room so approach people with warmth and good intentions. Important note: I do mean genuine warmth, never force yourself because people will always feel the dissonance. The way you approach someone is key, people sense ulterior motives so make sure you are coming from a pure place.

Focus - It's very important to know who you are, what you want and how you feel about things because it allows you to tap into key emotions and communicate effectively. Especially in high stakes situations. So define your objectives clearly. „If you fail to plan, you plan to fail” Yes, I just went there. So consciously design your experience by asking yourself empowering questions like "How can I make the most of this experience?", "What do I bring to the table in this situation?", "How can I most effectively communicate appreciation?", "What could I add to this person's experience that will enrich this moment?" Balancing Perceptions – This is for those cases where, let’s say, someone makes you feels extremely nervous because you place them on an impossibly high pedestal, to avoid freezing or reacting in weird ways, it’s really important to rebalance those perceptions by asking yourself what it is that most floors you about that person, which specific qualities you hold them on a pedestal for and then genuinely asking yourself „Where do I demonstrate these same traits?” I’ve written about this before and as silly as it seems it’s actually and extraordinary exercise because it helps people own traits they are in denial about and therefore their perception of the people around them shifts and they can then appreciate them from the heart with gratitude as opposed to out of overwhelming infatuation or other emotions that might be hindering their own self expression. Self Care - Make sure your needs are fully met before stepping into an important situation because even things such as being hungry, wearing something uncomfortable, etc can affect your demeanor and body language. If, for whatever reason, whatever is making you feel uncomfortable is out of control, to avoid from people noticing it on their own and assuming other bad things instead just let them know that you are feeling discomfort over X so that's why you are a little off. People will then accommodate you. It's perfectly okay to come in and say "Hey guys, I apologize but I am having an off day and I need some space".

Gratitude - I've mentioned this on this blog before but Gratitude is a really healthy way to shift perspectives, whether express aloud, written, visualized or meditated upon. If you feel yourself falling into nervousness switch to reminding yourself of why you are grateful about the experience, the people involved, the opportunities or if you are in a particular heavy situation just tune in unrelated things you feel deeply grateful for. Especially if rendered fully practical, for example, actually telling someone why and how they impacted you is one of the most beautiful gifts you can give them. Cognitive Reappraisal -During key moments it's very important to find ways to view things from empowering perspectives because it allows you to stay in a resourceful mind state. Some of these will make me sound like a broken record because I've already written about them in the past but I find them highly effective. Outside of this blog where I express dissent over some things, I actually practice harmony religiously and focus on tuning in to the best of whatever I am experiencing so appreciation is my most favorite practice in this Universe, which is why I love learning about other people's experience with it so if anyone has any other pointers and experiences to share please send them in. Sorry this got way too long but as I kept thinking more things came to mind. To summarize, to get into a charismatic state you need a combination of self belief, authenticity, presence and warmth, when you take that heartfelt appreciation and direct it at an object of attention it can be a very powerful, bonding experience. It already sounds like you are on a very healthy track so thank you for being vulnerable and sharing all of that because you never know who it might inspire. 💕

#charismatic mind states #appreciation #love my anons #hologram cowboy #hologramcowboy

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sheetbeat · 11 months

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!Hello! I'm Brazilian, I watch a Brazilian rap anime (Gon x Pitou), I'll love your comment.

I know this is very intrusive, but I wanted to talk to you about more HXH, I love this anime, but it's really hard to find people who like this anime (in Brazil).

!!!Sorry for my english!!! 🙏😓😓💦

Intrusive? No, this is awesome! I'm so happy that my little Internet trail over Brazilian anime geek music has lead you to me. Thank you for reaching out! Your Alluka profile picture is adorable 😊 sending a message your way.

That Gon x Pitou track was sooo good, combining the forces of Mistery and M4rkim. I'm going to recommend it to other English speakers right now. My nerdcore + geek music recs have been a long time coming, so I might as well start them off with a bang!

A tip for my fellow clueless gringos/gringas: go into caption settings on YouTube and auto-translate! They can take a while to load. If you're impatient, go down in the comments and a user 'genesis' has transcribed the lyrics. Translate from there and follow along ^^

youtube

Medonho e sombrio / O ódio consumiu / Uma tormenta em um calmo mar / Ira de um homem gentil!

These lines stuck with me after hearing "Jan Ken Guu" by Kaitou. It's probably a coincidence, but seeing the title of this Pitou and Gon track, Homem Gentil, made me think it was inspired by Kaitou's.

As a bigbig Gon fan, these lines and this title resonate with me so strongly. He's a character often ignored, hated or interpreted in a way that doesn't sit right with me. I sympathise a lot with the little dude, and I find his mindset/morality interesting to analyse. To hear some guys from across the waters interpret my favourite character similarly to me is a nice feeling, even if I understand why Gon is controversial.

M4rkim did the character justice. I knew of M4rkim from his Griffith (Berserk) track and of course, his prior take on our boy Gon. Been a while since he did Caçador and I see the development. Mistery was more new to me, as I had only heard her Pitou track. That was a serious banger. Together? They killed it. This was such a good song.

If my memory hasn't gone bad, I've heard of tracks like this collaboration, Kaitou's "Jan Ken Guu" and Mistery's "Marionette" being called 'movement' type songs. I'm not sure what that means, but they have a shared special something that's interesting to see.

On the series, it's a shame HxH isn't too popular in Brazil. I see the 1999 anime getting a pt-br dub and all the amazing Hunter geek music Gabriza, Tauz, Enygma, Chrono, Kaitou, Basara, D.Y.A, Shiny etc. put out and I assumed it was super loved!

I don't know just how popular it is in England / rest of the UK (where I live) or the West specifically though. It is very highly rated on the website My Anime List, and named a lot when people talk about the best shonen, but One Piece, Naruto, FMAB, MHA and newer generation anime get talked about more I think. Which is a shame :(

Anyway, am so happy you reached out to me. I'm a huge fan of HxH and I love making new friends. A newbie with Brazilian geek music, and only got into it when I found Enygma's Hisoka track near release. Still, it's really cool!

It sucks to be on your own when you're super passionate about something, so I'd be happy to be someone you can share your fangirling with :D

and no worries about the english! understood you, and I think it's pretty awesome for you to reach out in a foreign language (because it can be real intimidating). if you can bear with my shoddy portugese and me using awkward translation tools, I don't mind switching languages to give you a break 💜

#neferpitou #gon freecss #hunter x hunter #hxh #brasil #nerdcore #sheet(beat)posts

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adrianicsea · 2 years

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First of all gay people 🤝 having a childhood crush on one half of wesley/buttercup 🤝 gay people

Second I'm drawing a big SWG fan piece so I've been rereading it a lot and like sigh it's so good. I've come to terms that (probably) it's going to end the way all ghost stories must and Lawrence will be alone but like. Idk the reflection of the actual Saw canon of like how chance encounters can change our entire course in swg is so cool. Adams surprising presence in Lawrence's life at the perfect time even though it's not forever and Lawrence's single act of kindness for Amanda like showing them parts of themselves they never would've acknowledged. I just love the moments of the purposeful kindness and vulnerability over the story. John kramer u arent changing lives being kind on purpuse is. Sorry I'm like a wee bit 🥃🍺! U can ignore this but I really hope you're having a great week! I love reading ur meta and ur fics!! Stay cool

the princess bride 1987, proudly indoctrinating children to have gay thoughts since.... well... 1987

to your main point though: AGHHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! 🥺🥺💕 i’m SO glad you’re enjoying it, and it means the world to me that you feel so strongly about it that you want to make art for it!! for something that had such humble beginnings, i never would have imagined the reception that SWG has gotten so far, and i don’t think there’s ever gonna be a point when i take it for granted. i would never ignore such a kind and lovely message!!!

i’m SO glad that the themes of it resonate with you. that idea of being there at the right time to save somebody, of love as a redemptive force— it really is the heart of the story. if i had to sum up the thesis of swg in the form of one single question, it would be: “is love enough?” i know the answer, or at least i know how the story ends, but until we all get there, it means SO much to me to hear everyone’s interpretations of the story and hear their theories on the ending.

thank you again for stopping in to say all of this!! whenever your art is done, i’d love to see it— feel free to tag me, if you’d like 😄 i always love seeing everyone’s style and take on it!!

#asks #anonymous #sleeping with ghosts posting

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bewitchingivy · 2 years

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Hi Ivy❤ I want to join ur new game. So let's go~

Random facts abt ur FS: Ur FS will have the same the interests or hobbies as you even if it's not everything, they are logical and a night owl🦉🌙 they might be someone religious and will stick to their morals and beliefs. They might be stubborn. But dw, they will care of you well and their love language is probably acts of service. I picked these up intuitively. Take what resonates and leave out the rest. If it doesn't, then don't take it srsly to heart too.

Initials: B

Fav emoji: 😏

Btw when I was reading ur bio, sth rlly intrigued me. You have like the gift of seeing paranormal things that normal human ppl can't see? Thts rlly cool. But it's also scary at times isn't it? And also u r a Christian? wht type of Christian? Anyways, I hope u don't mind me asking these and have a nice day ahead.

your fs' likes & dislikes game

Welcome, fam! Thank you for participating <3

This is what I got about your FS' likes & dislikes:

Their likes:

This person would love to pamper and spoil their romantic partner, they're also a very romantic person.

I'm feeling that they're really interested in how the human mind works? Probably psychology. It's possible that may be their career or the career they're aiming.

Now this person may be curious or they may be into things like the occult and esoteric. I also picked up before that they may be psychic even if they're not aware that they are.

This person strives to be the leader. Leadership is something that's very important to them. But it could also lead to a few toxic consequences because they might get obsessed over it.

I'm strongly picking up that they may like growing plants, particularly flowers. White flowers are very specific here.

This person is someone who really respects and loves knowledge. They're a very intellectual individual.

I'm seeing that this person somehow loves to write a lot, writing is like a part of their everyday life. Writing letters may be a hobby of theirs, it's possible that they're not sending those, just keeping them in a box. Might I also point out that they love diving into details? They don't wanna leave anything out.

They like the water. I'm hearing that they love kayaking? Or they're interested in that.

This person likes to be assured of the bright future awaiting them, and that's why they tend to be a goal oriented person.

This person likes giving and receiving from others around them. They may like giving gifts to others, but they'd also expect those people to give something in return to them.

Their dislikes:

They don't like breaking the rules, and would certainly not hesitate to reprimand someone who did, especially in their school or work place.

They may not like some people in their family? They may have some toxic family members.

They loathe people who are hypocrites.

They also hate it when someone betrays them, and if someone would ask for another chance, nope they'd kiss them goodbye.

They don't like ignorance.

They also don't like people who tends to play the victim.

They also hate people who manipulates and people who pretends to be someone who they're not.

Some people might call them sometimes they're lazy, and they really, really, hate that. It pushes their buttons. I'm hearing, “So you think a person's lazy when they just needed a break?”

They don't like being lied to is what I'm strongly feeling. They don't like be tricked, manipulated, and believing something true that turns out to be false.

I'm specifcally hearing that they don't actually like staying in their hometown or country. They would definitely wanna move out there someday and live somewhere out of the country.

Hope that resonates! Take care of yourself and stay beautiful 🖤

My feedback: YIEIIEE, I'm happy to hear that they have the same interests as me. And I definitely feel that's true! <3 I mean, I would never wanna be with someone who doesn't appreciate art, music, and literature as much as I do, LOL. You may be right saying that they could be quite logical and a night owl. I've also been getting that their love language would be something like acts of service :') So this totally resonates. Thank you very much for your time and energy! 🖤

As for your questions: Oh, I don't know if I can call them gifts, tbh. And it's not just me, but some in my family have it too. It's really nothing special to me, it's more like a problem even especially if I see something negative LOL. So yeah, it is scary even if they come from God too, HAHAH. And lastly, I have gone through a few different types of Christianity because of moving to different schools a lot when I was younger; Baptist, Catholic, Pentecostal, and Protestant. And now I don't really wanna label myself a certain type of Christian, what's only important to me is my relationship with God :) That's all <3 Thank you and I hope you'll have a wonderful day too!

#ivy's games

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tarotmundomonde · 6 months

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Hii. How are you?

Im Klara, cancer sun, taurus moon, leo rising and venus. I'm 21.

I would like the option 2 :next 5 months in romance for singles. The reason I want the reading is because I never dated and I feel weird about it :/. All of my friends have boyfriends or at least experimented but I didn't. Low key though that I'm not able to feel attraction but recently I got a crush on a boy and I'm very excited about it lol. (nothing happened between us 😂) so that's why I would love to hear if I'll be lucky in love soon. I wasn't sure which option to choose because all of them sound good so I hope this one is the right one. I'll probably send another ask lol

I see you as color pink because most of the readings you do are love related and I associated them with pink. Pink is gentle and loving. You sound like a really sweet, calm person so it just fits. Also I watched the Barbie movie so I'm currently all in pink mode so that could also be a reason. Love that girl.

Thank you in advance for this reading. I hope the reading will be positive and I'll meet someone soon. I would like to experience romantic love. It would be good to know what my friends are talking about and maybe they'll stop seeing me as a baby 😂

Gif that resonates with me:

I reallyyy love cuddles and I hope my future lover likes them as well

Gif that I think could resonate with you

I don't know why but this one felt right. Maybe you are texting someone at the moment? Or is your partner far away? I passed by a lot of gifs but idk this one feels good. I'm not good at intuitive readings or readings in general. I never tried it so I have no idea if it fits😂

NOTE: This reading counts from today to the next 5 months.

Hello Klara, you are right, lots of messages 😁 Let's dive into your reading, shall we? At first glance, it looks pretty messy. Are you following your path or the path of others? That seems to be the big question for you for the next five months in love. Do you fear being you and getting rejected for that or taken for granted for it? There is a sense of belittling, maybe you feel like other people belittle you. Also, the cards are strongly implying you getting dragged down. Imagine you are in a field of mud but you are on a horse. That means the horse does the work and you get no dirt on you. Then the people around you get so upset by it that they provoke your horse so you fall on your butt and become dirty like the rest with no horses. Basically you are made to be and feel less special than you truly are. Looking at the cards, it looks like you are asked, if this is truly something you need to get yourself involved in. Do you really need to be dragged by the mud and become like other people? Do you need to care so much about your image and what people say and think about you? Do you actually care or force yourself to care? Your reading is filled with questions the universe is waiting for you to answer. Let's take a deeper look into the details of your spread.

First of all, you seem to be at the end of multiple phases in love. So right now it's time for cleansing, for releasing the old. Kinda like refresh your energy so you are ready for new beginnings. One theme coming through is the theme of actions and behaviour, passion and impatience and another one is more related to values, priorities and self-worth, patience and practicality. Those themes will be heightened for you for the next five months in love.

It looks like for the next five months there will be lots of conflicts of all kinds and tests for you in love. It's like you need to see what truly matters. And also, there is a strong sense of you needing to find your way back to the origins of truth.

That said you have so many messages coming through regarding conflicts and matters of truth. Especially in the sense of conflict of interests and conflicts in beliefs. It looks like a lot of things will come to light and be highlighted for you. You will be shown signs about your path in love. One theme will be about the gender roles in love. What is a healthy feminine and healthy masculine, what is the true power of the feminine and true power of the masculine. The cards are talking about natural attraction. When you see each other and you just know you are dancing the same dance. Basically, attraction is not something to be forced. There is also a message about purpose and right timing. Like everything being in perfect alignment. And the meaning of happiness is to love. Again, it's about the dance between the feminine and the masculine, whether their steps are in alignment. The cards are talking about how love is like a seed that grows into a tree. It may take time to meet such a person but it's worth waiting for. And you are told that patience is important, the ability to wait is important, as it's during that time the light can come in and truths to be revealed. Time is needed.

Another big theme is control. In your reading, we can see that your intentions may not match with the intentions of the other person or other people. Like mentioned, there is a theme of the feminine and masculine going on for you for the next five months in love. This is a part of it. There could be power struggles, struggles over, who should make the first move, who should take the lead. So issues around control, who is truly in control. Is the one making the first move in control or the one waiting? That kind of power struggle over control. That's why one of the themes is about releasing bad habits. There will be a climax or multiple regarding actions. Things will be revealed, people's intentions and actions. And this includes also the topic of obsession and greed. Someone being greedy for control, obsessed of control. And greedy and obsession in the sense of is someone interested in you, because they appreciate you and you are important to them or are they showing you interest, because they covet something, like higher numbers in experiences, if you catch the drift. These kind of things will also get exposed during the next five months in love for you. So something about dreams and practicality and what it means to you in love and to others. Looking at the cards there is a sense of people wanting the benefits with no feelings involved, people being emotionally distant and disinterested versus true loyalty with true and shared feelings. There is a really strong theme about sharing the same path, walking the same path with someone.

So the next five months in love for you will be a lot about dreams, maybe even daydreaming, the dreams, like what you really want to happen regarding your love life. And communication. It's really important to openly talk with the other person for their true nature and intentions to be revealed. And be clear about you want. And you have true potential for empowerment during the next five months in love for you. Walking your true path leads to empowerment. There is a sense of opening up, welcoming in the light. Knowing what you want, are you open to receive it. The meaning of joy and stability and the acknownledgment that you can have it. If you can find your self-confidence and overcome the obstacles, someone is waiting for you at the other side. You are going through so many different things in love, because you are currently on a soul mission and the door to true love is held open for you. And literally you have one sentence coming through your reading "No, thank you. Next".

ps. feedback is always appreciated~

#tarot #tarot reading #daily tarot #divination

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sexydreamgirl · 2 years

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ok please understand i am not trying to be a troll or an asshole. i just found manifestation tumblr and i think it’s really cool - but i’m finding it hard to resonate with it because it seems like everything you guys are into manifesting is superficial. like celebrity boyfriends and looking like kendall jenner. does all that stuff make you — like you personally — truly happy and fulfilled? i’m honestly asking. i do appreciate luxury and understand the importance of money, how it brings ease but yeah im not really in flow with this pretty bitch stuff. maybe i have no right to talk bc i do have many of the features society condones + been around a lot of fame growing up in LA. maybe this a privilege check. maybe i oughtta just take what resonates and leave the rest. anyway, appreciate you taking the time to read.

Nobody here wants to look like kendall jenner... I know you claim to not be ill intended but you should’ve reread this before you sent it because I really do not like your tone and even if you didn’t mean to you still sound quite patronizing. You pretty much came misinformed without even being remotely familiar with the community and yet you were quick to make judgment about what other people want to manifest. Who cares what fulfills other people? Every single blog on here will say the same thing: you can manifest whatever you want. Manifesting is everyone’s birthright and if they wanna do x, look like y and date z because it’ll make them feel “truly happy and fulfilled” then they should. I think it’s odd that you “find it hard to resonate with it” just because what other people are manifesting is “pretty bitch stuff” that you had the “privilege” of growing up with (serious question, do you hear yourself?). Anyway, even if you hadn’t told me it’s still very obvious you’re new because that isn’t even what people care about on here. Sure, some of us have successfully manifested celebrity boyfriends and appearance changes but there are also people who’ve manifested their friend out of an abusive relationship, revised their grandmother’s death, fluency in a foreign language, starting a business, age revision, a better relationship with their family and getting rid of ocd among so so so many more success stories that aren’t pertaining to relationships or physical appearance. As a welcome to the community I strongly suggest you begin with self and perhaps you will tone down your arrogance by a notch or two.

#this is one of the most annoying asks i've gotten

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13eyond13 · 3 years

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Hello! I've recently seen a post about how Light often does something heteronormative when he wants to avoid suspicion. And that gave me a thought, bc it was said as a joke, but i think there's some truth to it?? I mean, he was dating a girl during Raye Penbern situation, looking at hetero porn magazines to appear less suspicious to L, dating Misa etc. Do you think that maybe it can be his internalized homophobia? (like, maybe he thinks that a straight person is by definition more "normal"?)

Haha, I know what you mean, and I think this is a huge part of what made him feel relatable to me when I was younger and living in a pretty strict/traditional/heteronormative/homophobic environment and closeted myself (I didn't even realize I was gay yet the first time I watched it, but so much of what he does around his dating life still resonated with me strongly nonetheless... like I literally did the same bookshelf hiding trick with some trashy novels I wasn't allowed to have before I even watched DN, ahahaha).

I think that since Light wasn't intentionally written to be gay that it's probably not so much internalized homophobia as just him trying very hard to appear like your average "good citizen" who is well-liked and leading a very ordinary "respectable" life. He wants to both blend in and to also seem pristine to everybody at the same time, and so appearing to have a robust (and straight) dating life benefits him for giving him convenient alibis, and for helping his actual Kira followers like Misa more easily blend in with the mix. But you can definitely read Light's excessive womanizing as cover for his true sexuality pretty easily as well; especially because he has such a traditional family, seemingly so little genuine interest in women, and so much constant ambiguous tension and emotional intrigue between himself and other male characters like L. That being said, I do think that if he were gay and trying to deny or hide it that he would probably be doing incredibly similar things to keep up the façade.

I have to admit I am not a HUGE fan of how the fandom turns the idea of Light being gay into the biggest joke of all time at his expense, because oftentimes it really smacks of homophobia the way it's worded (like him being gay is a big flaw and he should be mocked immensely for it... or for being in the closet/in denial about it instead of out, which isn't that much fun to hear when you're a gay person who struggled with the idea of not being straight for a really long time due to internalized homophobia yourself). I remember how much those jokes were almost always snide and derogatory comments made by straight people as well as gay people back in the day, and it hasn't actually changed all that much in tone even though the fandom now seems to be very openly LGBT+ positive in 2021. Light hiding his Kira identity and all the stress and anxiety and cognitive dissonance he experiences definitely has some strong parallels to what it feels like to be repressed or closeted. And so it's really easy to identify with those sneaky double-life leading behaviours that are unfortunately so familiar to people who have had to hide their true sexuality from themselves or from others in some way. For me the joking about this always comes from a gentler place of "I remember that feel" sort of solidarity with Light over the experience of once being repressed and closeted, and I think a lot of times that's what it is for other people making fun of it now too... but hopefully it doesn't also add to other fans feeling even more internalized shame about the thought of being gay themselves. Because unfortunately that's maybe what happens sometimes when people see that kind of thing laughed at over and over again.

#light yagami #ask #anon #p #not saying thats what you were doing either anon #just adding it on bc it was in my thoughts

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chooseyouovereveryone · 3 years

Text

10 Years Of Songbird: Brittana Fan Project

Hello my fellow Brittana lovers!

First of all, happy 10 years to the iconic Glee episode that is Rumours and the beautifully moving performance that is Songbird. Such a pivotal part in Brittana's story, and one that will forever be ingrained in my mind. Naya's voice still gives me goosebumps and reduces me to tears on that performance, paired with Heather's genuine tearful reaction.

Second of all, this is up slightly later than planned so apologies for that, but Tumblr glitched on me big time and I had to repost this all again which considering I had a draft built up for days, was rather inconvenient, but we’re here now and hopefully it was worth the wait!

Putting this project together has brought me so much joy in revisiting my favourite ship. I don't think I will ever tire of reading about them, and hearing from others why they love them so much and how this ship resonated with them.

For me, Brittany and Santana were the first positive representation I saw of a WLW relationship. I was shook to the core watching their story unfold, in how much it mirrored what was going on in my own life with my own denial and with my own relationship. I found myself clinging to that storyline like an anchor, as if it was going to give me the answers to my own story. Throughout all the confusion I had in my own coming out and realisation that I was a lesbian, the storyline gave me hope that one day, everything would be okay. Watching them go from confused and conflicted best friends to wives gave me so much hope for the future, and now as a 27 year old out and proud gay woman, I still look at this storyline with the same love-filled eyes.

Even as Glee ended and I stepped away from the fandom, Brittana have always been a huge part of my life, always there in the background, always my comfort storyline to turn to and rewatch a bunch of times. But losing Naya last year really brought me back to the fandom and the community and reminded me why I loved them so much.

I think what I love most of all about this ship is how organic it was. It came from the fans, and from Naya and Heather encouraging the writers to take it seriously. Because of this, I also wanted to add in some little touches of Heya, and include quotes from Naya and Heather talking about their fave scenes.

I'll forever be indebted to this storyline in what felt like a really hard and confusing time in my teenage years.

So thank you Naya

Thank you Heather.

& thank you so much to all of you for taking part.

Also a huge shoutout once again to @hopefulobjectmiracle for letting me use her idea and for providing help along the way. She came up with the concept for this project with Klaine, and I wanted to create a Brittana version, but I'd strongly recommend checking out her Klaine one if you haven't already.

I hope you enjoy reading it, as much as I enjoyed putting it together :)

Brittany & Santana Talk To Holly Holliday About Their Feelings- 2x15, “Sexy”

Choosing a favorite scene is hard so I'll choose one of my favorite lines: in the episode Sexy when Santana and Brittany first talk to Holly about their sexuality, Britt says "I don't know how I feel because Santana refuses to talk about it".

I love this line because most people would play it off as Brittany being a simpleton, but that's not the case. Brittany is saying she doesn't know if she's allowed to like Santana as more than her best friend. She doesn't know if it's right. Because if Santana isn't in to girls then Brittany could be crossing a line, a line where she could possibly be making Santana uncomfortable. Brittany obviously knows how she feels about Santana but she wants to make sure Santana feels for her in the same way before admitting to it, as not to ruin what they already have.

-@neversatisfiedwithlife

Landslide- 2x15, “Sexy”

It was incredibly difficult for me to choose my favorite Brittana scene. There are so many that I love and find important to me...some of these moments were even literally life-altering. Before Brittana, for example, I didn't know that girls could be gay, and I had no idea that what I felt for some of my female friends was anything other than platonic. I'm sure I would have realized I was queer eventually, but this ship and the fandom that I found myself in made the process so much easier for me. But I digress :)

I eventually narrowed it down to four choices—Landslide, Songbird, the Heart Locker Scene in New York, and Cherish/Cherish in Heart, and out of these I've decided to single out Landslide as my numero uno, as it was this very scene that started my decade-long love affair with this ship :)

There are so many things that I love about this scene. Earlier in the show we see Brittany attempt to talk about their relationship knowing that they were more than just best-friends-with-benefits, but Santana would instantly close herself off. Still, Brittany pressed on, determined to understand what they had become, while Santana began to realize that what they had—what they could become—was worth letting herself be vulnerable, worth the risk of getting herself hurt. The fact that Landslide was the product of this early struggle gives it so much meaning ;u;

The scene itself has all these details that make my heart ache in the best way possible...the way they look at each other throughout the song, Santana's eyes a myriad of emotions, full of sadness, confusion, conflict, longing, Britt's eyes filled with concern knowing how much it's taking her best friend to be so vulnerable, then the pride that shines through when she looks at Santana after the performance; the way that Santana's voice breaks singing "and I'm getting older, too"; when she stands afterwards and goes over to Brittany, and Britt opens her arms to hold Santana instantly like it's a reflex; the way that they fit against each other so perfectly, like they were made to be in each other's arms...even the visual composition of the scene was perfect ToT That instant of them hugging each other is a study in contrasts with the way Britt's flaxen hair shines against Santana's night-dark head, and with the way Santana's soft white blouse contrasts against Brittany's deep blue denim top ;u; It's gorgeous.

-@randomcanbian

My fav Brittana scene is when they sing landslide together, because it was one of the first times we got to Santana be so vulnerable

-@snowpickles

What is a landslide? Simply put, it’s defined as a collapse of a mass of earth or rock from a mountain or cliff. That’s the perfect way to describe the rocky relationship between Santana and Brittany in S2, and it‘s exactly why their performance of the infamous Fleetwood Mac song of the same name (Sexy; 2x15) is such a pivotal moment in time in for them.

Santana showed a side of herself to her friends, but most importantly to Brittany, that many would deem her incapable of ever doing. For that moment she allowed that brick wall she always had built up around her for protection to come slowly crumbling down. And the best part? She allowed that — wanted that — to happen. She needed to bare her soul to the person she loved most, but she wasn‘t sure how or when, or if she ever could.

Seeing Santana put her heart on her sleeve and confess her feelings of love and admiration for Brittany through song — finally — is one of the highlights of the entire series for me. We see her trap herself within a new world for a few minutes, one that contains only the two of them through her eyes, and let her emotions do the talking. Brittany understood everything without a single word being spoken to her. Santana hadn’t opened up to anyone at this point about how she felt, not even to herself, but so much was understood between them without saying nothing at all. My favorite spoken line is Brittany‘s, „Is that really how you feel?“

As a viewer, it was such an infamous moment because we now get to cheer for them. We see that they are on the same page with one another, that through it all, their attraction and desire for one another never wavered. They wouldn’t be a a couple for quite a bit more time, but they both now understood what we as viewers saw all along. Santana stopped denying her sexuality; she stopped denying what Brittany meant to herself. She still had a lot to sort out and wasn’t ready to free herself from the constraints of her sexuality, but she made the biggest move: allowing Brittany on the other side of that wall with her.

This performance let to the scene we grew to love known as the Hurt Locker, which is the scene that made the Brittana fandom sing praise to the high heavens. Santana felt like she could finally confess her feelings to Brittany. She was terrified, but she somehow found the courage within herself to stop closing the door on opportunities. So, I‘m thankful for Holly Holiday for being the person that Santana and Brittany felt comfortable enough to go to, and I‘m thankful for her willingness to perform with them, because it gave us much more than a song — it gave us hope. It gave us validation. It gave us Brittana.

-@TheWednesdayProject on Reddit

Hurt Locker-2x15, “Sexy”

"A lot of people have said that scene gave them courage to come out to their parents and their friends and their loved ones, so I think that it's something that's very important, and I hope that we handled it responsibly which I think that we did"- Naya (PaleyFest 2012)

Hurt Locker is my fave scene - just Santana finally coming to feel and admit the truth within. I've probably watched it a thousand times and I'll never get sick of it. The expressions and unspoken acting Naya and Heather put into it give me all the feels!

-@chasingseals

Okay so my favorite Brittana scene is probably the scene where Santana express her feelings for Brittany during “sexy” and says she’s afraid to be with Brittany because of the talks and the way people are gonna stare and that she wasn’t even afraid to what people would say to her face but to what people would say behind her back.

And that’s because I feel the same way. I’m not a lesbian, I’m bisexual, but at the moment I have a girlfriend and I am so afraid to come out to even the rest of my family (apart from my parents and sister) because I always hear them talking about these girls with names such as “dyke” or something, and it was good to see on tv someone with the same fears and it is so good to see that they had a happy ending and got married and that all this started when they decided “not to care” about everybody else’s opinions and be themselves and be happy.

-@wankybjtch

It’s so, so strange to do this without Naya, but here we are, and she and Heather made this all so beautiful. When I tried to answer this question about my favorite scene, I went first to Songbird - Naya has one of my favorite voices in this whole world - and then to Landslide, and then to Me Against the Music, and all those answers seemed really good. Brittany and Santana spoke to each other so much through music - voices and words and touch - and Heather and Naya gave themselves to their characters so much - and Naya to song so much, and Heather to dance - that they would disappear into Brittana, and would just seem like they were love, made visible. Brittana is love always seems like such a true thing to say, to me. But while what occurred to me first were three songs, I realized that my favorite scene - the one that hit me the hardest - will probably always be the Hurt Locker.

Naya was just so shining there, Santana so full of love and this terrible ache and this more terrible hope, all for Brittany, that you could see Heather glowing back, though so much more quietly. It was an absolutely tremendous thing to see a full-on love scene playing out in the middle of a crowded hallway. Naya and Heather were so beautiful together, as friends and as actresses and as onscreen lovers, and after seeing that scene for the first time, I cried every day for a week, always at these quiet, unexpected times. The love and the hurt and the fear and the hope were so raw in Santana - both in Naya’s performance and in the beautiful script - that it brought everything back about the confusion of starting out with that Oh, god. I am never, never going to be like everyone else. I love her way, way too much. But somehow, the scene made my whole world feel safer. I could see myself, and others could see me. There we were on the screen, worthy and beautiful. <3 Tess

-@venuscomb

Songbird- 2x19, “Rumours”

"I really enjoyed watching Naya sing Songbird. That's ingrained in my head, that time where I sat in the choir room and listened to her sing Songbird, because her voice is just of another world. It's always been my favorite. I will never forget that."- Heather (Entertainment Weekly 2021)

My favorite moment is Santana singing Songbird to Brittany because that is an all time classic romantic song, and Santana (Naya) sings it beautifully, and Brittany just sits there mesmerized. Plus I love what they are wearing, and how they look. i think it's signifcant that Santana sang her love for her here in the choir room, and it's where they had many of their big moments - first together, the break-up song, the flowers in 5, the proposal.

-@1908jmd

My fav scene is 100% Songbird. It’s always been my favourite song and to see it applied to a wlw relationship changed my life a lot because it made me realise that it could be me one day. Santana was always my favourite character too, so to see someone that i appreciated a lot come to terms with their sexuality made me really happy

-@illegally-luthor

My first fav scene out of two is Songbird of course because seeing Santana pouring her heart out to Britt is just the most beautiful thing ever. She was scared to accept who she really was and when it comes to her love for Brittany she’s not scared anymore because loving her is the easiest thing to do. Plus, seeing how Britt reacted was so beautiful. She knew Santana was scared and she was proud of how she confessed her love, through a song, because she knew Santana wasn’t good with words.

-@chloesnix2b

Heart Locker- 2x22, “New York”

My favorite Brittana scene is after Nationals in 2x22 by the lockers.

What I love most about this scene is Brittanys tell it how it is attitude. When Santana said that it clearly wasn’t about winning for her, Brittany looked right through her bullshit, knowing that Santana was getting defensive, because Santana knew what this year was really about for Brittany (and herself too of course), she just didn’t want to admit to it.

You can clearly see that Santana is still scared and hiding and that she still feels like she’s is going to lose Brittany any moment. But Brittany reassures her, tells her how much she loves Santana and makes her feel safe.

My favorite Brittany is always when she’s finally allowed to have feelings and say something. Often the writers didn’t give her anything to do or just made her a caricature of a person. But when she was allowed to express herself, it was in her truest, most vulnerable form. Due to writing, Brittana often seemed one sided, but it’s moments like these that show us how much Brittany loves Santana and how much she wants only the best for her.

For me, the scene felt like the real beginning. They have been taking baby steps before, treading the water. But now Brittany dove right in and her boldness made Santana follow her :)

"What about you and I?", "I love you Santana, I love you more than I‘ve ever loved anyone else in this world. All I know about you and I is that, because of that, I think anything is possible."

-@bolintheturtleduck

I absolutely love every scene that they’re in together, but my favorite is the one where Brittany and Santana are standing outside of the lockers, talking about the glee club. i feel like it showed a lot about Santana’s character at the time and it really inspired me.

-@hoodiestring

Officially Dating - 3x04, “Pot O' Gold”

Their first official date at Breadstix!

Santana and Brittany sitting in the warm lighting of their favourite restaurant in the almost comfortable awkwardness of their tender baby relationship melted something in my baby lesbian heart.

They're teenaged best friends who fell in love and this scene is just so fluffy and cozy and perfectly reflects their dynamic - they're so obviously head over heels for each other and everything about their relationship feels new and electric and full of possibility, but they've also been love each other forever. Santana's eyes lighting up at Britt holding her hand and Britt being so purely herself and everything about the scene just screams home to me and is the moment the show really became about them to me.

-@grassberry639

One of my favorite scenes is the Breadstix scene with the holding hand under a napkin because I could completely relate to it when I was dating girls that was still not yet 100% ready to come out.

-@charisadrastea

Rumour Has It/Someone Like You- 3x06, “Mash Off”

My other favorite is the Rumour Has It/Someone Like You scene because the performance was so beautiful and haunting.

-@charisadrastea

For me, it was the Adele Mashup (specifically the longing looks exchanged during it). I watched that scene over and over again when I was a kid because I felt like it did a great job of truly encapsulating what it's like to have feelings that you desperately want to pursue but can't do to your surroundings. The whole thing really stuck with me.

Naya's performance felt so genuine and, throughout that entire song, you could really feel what Santana was going through as a closeted lesbian who was terrified of losing everything. And the fact that Brittany was so close during the whole performance and, yet, instead of her singing one of the lead parts with her, they just exchange looks. I just thought it did a great job of expressing a trapped feeling.

-@aaverageperson

The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face- 3x10, “Yes/No”

My favourite Brittana scene would be the small flashback when the girls are singing The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face.

Santana sees Brittany’s face for the first time and she melts.

Their smiles are so soft and I love the instant connection they both have.

-@mostlygleethoughts

My favourite Brittana moment happens when Santana is singing, The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face. She sings the line, “I felt your heart so close to mine,” while a flashback of her and Brittany in the locker room plays. I get teary-eyed whenever I watch this scene. The love between them is so beautiful, and it’s so refreshing to see genuine sapphic love portrayed on screen.

-@sapphicbrittana

Cherish/Cherish- 3x13, “Heart”

It took me so long to decide on what my favorite Brittana scene is but i ultimately decided on the scene at the end of Heart. It’s just such a sweet moment for them. They are openly going on a date and even kiss in front of other people without caring about what anyone might say. They have come so far from the beginning of their relationship and it is just lovely to see them be so happy with each other.

-@sugarcarnation

Ok so my second favorite scene is in 3x13 when Santana asked the god squad to sing a song for Britt. So the scene at Breadstick at the end and the kiss they shared after Cherish/Cherish is just beautiful. Seeing Santana being so proud to call Brittany her girlfriend and singing her song for her is everything to me. Also Britt’s reaction was too cute. The love in her eyes when Joe told them the god squad was going to perform for her is the cutest thing ever. The kiss they shared at the end of the song was so passionate and it gives me butterflies every time I see the scene. It was also the first Brittana kiss we saw onscreen.

-@chloesnix2b

I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me)- 3x17, “Dance With Somebody”

"Watching Heather dance is fun in this number, I never get tired of watching her dance."- Naya (BTS Dance With Somebody)

"They put us in twinzies outfits. We've been singing to each other like crazies"- Heather (BTS Dance With Somebody)

My favourite Brittana scene would have to be dance with somebody (the song). I love how happy they both are and how much fun they’re having together!!! The context is romantic, but they’re also having fun as best friends, which is the root of their relationship. I just think it’s really sweet and I’m a sucker for happy pretty ladies dancing around and making each other ridiculously happy. That’s all!!!

-@kurtanaaa

Tongue Tied- 3x21, “Nationals”

Q: What’s your favourite Brittana moment? A: The slow motion celebration smooch when we won Nationals

-Naya (Twitter Q&A 2012)

Mine- 4x04, “The Break Up”

It might seem strange, to choose a breakup scene for a couple's best. It's a scene that broke thousands of hearts and continues to make us cry, even after having seen the whole journey unfold and even after knowing that Brittana will, in the end, be okay. But to me, it's a scene that encapsulates much of what I love about these two and what they mean to each other. "Sophomore year, I used to sit in this back row and secretly watch you. I counted the number of times you'd smile at me, and I'd die on days that you didn't." Half the reason why I chose this scene is this quote. The sheer power of it still shakes me whenever I hear Santana utter these words. The sincerity behind them makes me stop and truly consider what it is she’s saying. It’s a summary of their journey so far. It’s a moment of incredible vulnerability, the confession of a girl who fell in love with her best friend and was terrified of the consequences of that love. Not as much as she was terrified of what it would mean to not be loved back, though.

But Brittany loves Santana with the same passion, even if it manifests differently. It’s why she holds on as long as she can and why it’s even harder for Santana to face their issues. Because you see, I understand that many dislike the reasoning behind their breakup and that it only happened here because everyone else was doing it. But there’s something so deeply caring about the way they consciously make the decision not to hurt each other by leaving themselves in this in-between state of long-distance relationships. Something so genuine about the way they say they would never cheat on each other but also something so mature in realizing that they can’t be what the other needs right now. That, to me, displays such a pure form of love. As pure as catching glances and counting smiles in the back row. As pure as words of encouragement and saying to someone: I'm yours.

Even though they were already inseparable in sophomore year, Brittany smiling at Santana during Glee practice is an intimate moment that meant everything to her. And even though it hurts, Santana letting go of Brittany before they can even think of hurting each other is such a deep declaration of love. What makes it bittersweet yet hopeful instead of just being heart-shattering is the way Santana turns the otherwise optimistic and romantic song “Mine” into a sad one, creating one of the show’s most gorgeous solo performances in the process. Because when she sings Brittany is the best thing that’s ever been hers, we all know it was true in sophomore year, it is true now and it will be on the day they exchange vows. Because Santana’s right when she sings they’re gonna make it, even if it takes a while. Even if they are (and we are) crying right now, even if it takes a few more days of dying in the absence of Brittany’s smile lighting up her world. Because even when they’re breaking up, Brittana reaffirm that they’ll always love each other the most.

-@tuiyla

Santana Walks Brittany Out Of The Auditorium One Last Time- 4x22, “All Or Nothing”

“I really liked the moment in the last episode, when we knew that Brittany was going away and it was a really sad vibe and Santana showed up and just took her hand and walked her off, I thought that was sweet.”- Naya (Perez Hilton 2013)

Valerie- 5x12, “100”

My favorite scene by a pretty wide margin is “Valerie” from “100”. It’s got that palpable backstage chemistry that Naya and Heather had that shone through so clearly in season 1, it’s poetically choreographed, and the songs even more lyrically significant than before.

I believe that Santana and Brittany are at their best and most smitten when they’re doing what Naya and Heather love the most: singing and dancing, respectively. This is no exception. Just look at Brittany trying not to smile at the beginning. When the shot is on her after Santana starts to sing, you can see her face change from smiles to grimace as if she had forgotten herself. You can’t tell me Heather didn’t break there for a second.

Every little mannerism throughout the whole sequence is laced with that fun, alarmingly pure energy. It could’ve been just excellent acting, but it felt so real. And why wouldn’t it? Naya had to learn Heather’s dance from “Sectionals”. Watching your best friend pull off some of your most iconic moves and then joining in, that’s gotta be fun.

Yeah, Santana’s dancing the choreography from their sectionals with Mike. Within the capacity of an untrained dancer, of course. She’s trying to get Brittany back into the groove by dancing probably the most involved number that the New Directions have ever done. And one that Brittany probably had the most fun with because she choreographed it with Mike. That’s some good writing. And it works, and it’s cute, but once Brittany joins in, the sequence deviates from the original.

We get this just wonderful moment of Brittany dancing solo centerstage fully embracing her passion. After she gets her moment, she and Santana dance either with each other swing-style or towards each other. You can’t forget about that embrace at the end when Santana sort of dips her. They’re not even back together at this point. Santana doesn’t want to get back together at this point. But I feel like I’m watching them dancing at their wedding 3 hours into the reception.

And I mean what an appropriate song to use given the circumstance. “Valerie” is about missing an ex after coming back to your hometown. When we heard Santana solo it at sectionals, it wasn’t super meaningful. It was an excellent way to show off Santana’s vocals and Brittany and Mike’s choreography somewhat independently. But here? Let’s talk about line distribution.

First verse, Santana sings solo. Notably, Brittany is harmonizing behind her piecemeal. By the chorus, she’s joined with Santana fully. Second verse, she’s soloing, joining the dance and by the end they’re dancing together. They’re singing and dancing about missing each other together.

But the song’s not my favorite part. Not even the dance. Not really. My favorite part is the culmination. Santana and Brittany are participating in each other’s disciplines and passions.

That’s an awesome couple right there. They went from singing and dancing somewhat removed from each other to singing and dancing with each other, and even when they were broken up, they still shared their respective passions with each other effortlessly.

-@leatherzaddy on Reddit

My favorite Brittana scene is Valerie S5. It just feels so significant to me that Santana chose this particular song to get Britt out of her funk. Valerie is special to both of them, it’s the first competition solo Santana ever got and it was the first time we ever got to witness the dance skills of one Brittany S. Pierce.

It was the first time Brittany got to show off how talented she was and how she was so much more than the dumb blonde everyone thought she was. Now, however, no one thinks she’s dumb. Now everyone sees her as just another statistic for MIT.

Santana, however, sees right through that and sees her for who she really is - not dumb, not just a genius, but Brittany, the girl who loves to dance. So Santana picks the same song from the first time Brittany got to show off her dancing to prove to her once again that dancing is what she’s meant to do.

-@hopefulobjectmiracle

Churros Kiss- 5x12, “100”

The infamous churros scene lives in my head rent free. Why? Because we saw a level of confidence in Brittany that we had never seen before and, in that moment, we were all rooting for her for giving us what we knew was right and what we knew we needed. The fans knew Brittana was endgame, Brittany knew, and we just sat back and waited for Santana to realize it as well. (Let’s give her credit: she knew.) We had waited 1.5 seasons for more and we finally got it, mouthful of churros and all.

I love this scene because we see Santana and Brittany a bit older and a lot wiser; Brittany knows that after all the time they had spent apart, Santana is the only one she really wants and she felt like she needed to tell her, to show her, before it was too late. I feel like everything Brittany did in this scene was very spontaneous and on a whim, and it makes it that much hotter.

The kiss. It’s my favorite kiss between the couple by a mile. Brittany put her heart on her sleeve and risked everything and just went in for the kill. You can see the twinkle in her eye right before she leaned in and she didn’t hesitate to show Santana what she wanted. I do appreciate Santana’s hesitancy because of their storyline at the time, but I don’t doubt for a second that she didn’t want Brittany back, too. She was just incredibly cautious, and no doubt, caught by surprise. They had been through so much and had finally found a place in their friendship/relationship where scars were healing and hearts weren’t as broken as before.

You can see in the way Santana looks at her after being kissed, the way in which she listens to her, that the wheels in her head are already turning. We know she knows what Brittany is saying is true. She just has to process what this means for her, for them, for her life back in New York. She’s just putting the scattered puzzle pieces back together, but she knows what the picture already looks like.

The kiss on the cheek? The delicious cherry on top. Brittany, having already been pushed away, one again doubled down on how she felt and so quickly, and respectfully, reminded Santana of that. You can see Santana’s breath hitch during this moment when their faces are so close together, and it’s obvious that her love for Brittany never wavered. As she always was, smitten is her middle name.

Brittana’s entire relationship from S1-S6 can be summed up, for me, with one infamous line spoken by Brittany during the churros scene, “You can’t recreate what you and I have.”

-@TheWednesdayProject on Reddit

The Lilies Scene- 5x13, “New Directions”

I will always remember being a curious and scared teenager. I was almost in high school when Brittana became official and it suckerpunched me. The fear, the anxiety, the angst, the love, all of it was so relatable. Brittana had so many trials and tribulations and they always came out better and stronger both as individuals as a couple. My favorite Brittana scene is the lily scene because it was the beginning of them consciously choosing each other. The growth <3

-@yesandmusicals

My favorite Brittana scene is when Brittany fills the room with lilies for Santana. It really proves that the connection between them is incredibly strong and they understand each other better than anyone else. Their chemistry is off the charts and you can really feel their love for each other through the screen. The way Santana sinks into Brittany like she’s coming home and the way Britt runs her fingers up and down Santana’s arm <3 Everything about it is perfect.

-@santinacedes

I think my favorite Brittana scene is the one in 5x13, where Brittany fills the choir room with lilies for Santana, because that was the biggest time when I could truly feel their love for one another and their support of each other.

-@allweseeisskyforever

The Bedroom Scene- 6x03, “Jagged Little Tapestry”

It's hard to pick one favorite scene because I just love them all. But I'm gonna go with the scene that made me the happiest and that's the bedroom scene before the proposal because it's such an intimate moment between the two of them. They talk about their future together, about how happy they are and of course "I will love you until infinity". I've wanted a scene like that since I started shipping them in season 2. And watching that scene for the first time was one of the happiest moments in my life. And when I'm feeling down I just watch this scene again and everything gets better.

-@brittanaaresoulmates13

Santana proposes to Brittany- 6x03, “Jagged Little Tapestry

My fav Brittana scene is the proposal bc it means so much to both of them. It takes place where they fell in love and there’s so many parts in the song that remind me so much of their past

-@arf128

My favourite Brittana scene is probably Santana proposing to Brittany because the number they do before is fire🔥 and BRITTANA GETS ENGAGED!!

-@pennywarbler

Hallway Scene- 6x06, “What The World Needs Now”

I LOVE THE ‘did I ever tell you that I love you’ MOMENT. The little kiss and the way Santana nudges her head in Brittany’s neck. I love the whole episode, it’s so powerful and as a lesbian I really felt seen and represented.

I love that Santana reminds Brittany of heaven. I love that Brittany loves Santana so unconditionally, that she would do anything to see her happy. Brittany knows that Santana is super happy right now, but she also knows that she really misses her abuela and that she’s sad she’s not coming to the wedding. Britt’s really doing her best for Santana, and that really shows how much she loves her.

I love that we see Santana’s vulnerable side in this episode and I love to see Brittany’s protective side (especially during and after Alfie). Although abuela said she wasn’t coming, I love how the episode ended because it really shows how much Santana has grown and how much love she has in her life right now.

-@sapphosongbird

Brittany Confronts Santana’s Abuela- 6x06, “What The World Needs Now”

After Santana sings “Alfie” to Abuela López as if her life depended on it in hopes that her Abuela would be a part of her life again, we have my favorite Brittana moment. At first, Abuela is confused and shocked to find out that she’s been tricked into seeing Santana sing. Brittany quickly confessed that she did trick her and informed Abuela, but also informed Abuela not only that she is Santana’s fiancée but that she loves her so much that she would do anything for her. Santana is quick to look at Abuela to gauge her reaction. Santana is hoping she has an opportunity to explain and to try to make her see how much she loves and needs Abuela in her life. Santana brings up how much Abuela means to her and how much being raised by this woman has made her a strong woman.

It’s likely that Abulea immigrated from another country. Like many children from immigrant families, they know the sacrifices their family took to her there. Santana likely heard from father (as i think Alma is her paternal grandmother) about the importance of doing good in school (and her education as she values it) and likely heard stories about the many jobs her grandma took. Likely those that are stereotypical like agricultural work, working in restaurants, or working as a cleaning lady. Jobs that were all she could get because of the limits society places on her (Abuela). ( Santana really admires this woman. She lets her know how much in the coming out scene. )

Santana embraces being Latina and holds no apology for being so, and admits that she is bigger and better than the limits society places on her. Santana wants to continue to be bigger and better. She admits that she can’t (or doesn’t want to) do that without Brittany and Abuela. Santana feels she simply exists without them. Perhaps also saying that they give her the strength she needs to be bigger and better. She is oh so hopeful that reminding her of all that will make her Abuela come along.

Unfortunately, it is not enough for Abuela. She reminds Santana that she loves her, but not enough to attend the stop following her beliefs. She adamantly says that girls marry boys and not other girls. It’s a sin in Abuela’s eyes, and she refuses to attend the wedding. What happens next in this scene makes me so proud of Santana. Before this moment, Santana was this scared little girl who hid behind this HBIC persona. In short, Santana struggled to love and accept herself. She dated guys for status. She rejected Brittany for so long and told her she was using her and didn’t love her. She had beards and even wrote a song about a boy. She had confessed to Brittany that she was scared about all the talks and looks she would get from others. She hid her feelings and love for Brittany and pushed her away into another person's arms. While doing so, she was more angry and miserable than she had ever been. She had to witness the girl she loved more than anything be with someone else because she was too scared, and it hurt her. It would take some more time for her to embrace herself fully. Even then, she didn’t have much choice. She was forced into accepting herself because she was outed to everyone in her school, in Lima, and in Ohio (and anyone who stumbled across that campaign ad online). Still, she did eventually get there. It was not easy for her at all, but she got there. She was happy. She surrounded herself with the love of her friends. She grew as a person. She became friendlier, was happier, and she allowed herself to love others (Brittany, Dani). Moving to New York was scary for her, but she did it anyway (with a little shove from Brittany (again, she thinks they helped to make her bigger and better). She helped her friends get a job, auditioned for Broadway, went to auditions, held various jobs, and attended school.

Santana remembered how Abuela taught her to be bigger and better than her school, her city, and her state would ever allow her to be when she was in New York. She was even bigger and better than the limits she had placed on herself, especially when she was in high school. She was determined to make something of herself. Sometimes even doing things that weren’t even her dream.

No matter the years that had passed, Brittany knew that despite Santana saying she was okay and choosing Brittany over everyone, including the woman that meant so much to her, Santana still missed her Abuela. In this scene, unlike the last time when Santana bravely confessed to Abuela about her feelings and was gay by herself, Brittany was there alongside Santana. Brittany quickly stepped in to protect the woman she loved. Despite being upset that things aren’t going as they had hoped, she puts on a brave face and tells Abuela that it is okay if she doesn’t go. With a smile and some spunk, Brittany tells Abuela they don’t want her there. Santana is surprised that Brittany spoke up at first, too.

Brittany, who usually is kind and sweet, had her claws out. She used her genius mind to give statistical facts she’d read about to tell Abuela off. Usually, Santana would know not to speak to Abuela in such a manner. This is likely because Santana knows better. Her Abuela likely taught her to respect her elders or at least always to respect her. When Brittany finishes talking, Abuela expects Santana to apologize and stick up for her, but to Alma’s surprise, Santana doesn’t. Instead, Santana, the girl who was scared to tell her Abuela she was gay because she feared losing her, stood by Brittany, the woman she loved and who had told her Abuela to go on and love herself in a way Santana likely never has and would never dare to.

Santana doesn’t just defend Brittany or stands by her. Santana refers to her relationship with Brittany as love. She uses their love as an example of what love is. Santana, the girl who told Brittany she didn’t love her and that she was nothing more than just sex because Puck was in the slammer, the girl who refused to talk about feelings, and the girl who panicked when Rachel referred to their duet as sapphic romance, told her Abuela that what she and Brittany share is love. She uses the words “real love” to describe their relationship and what they had.

The choice of Santana words is significant. Likely, Abuela empathized the importance of love when it came to family (even if Santana experienced a lot of tough love from Abuela, her dad, and likely other family members like her mom.) all her life. Santana likely had seen a lot of it.

The choice of the word “real” may indicate just how deeply Santana was hurt when Abuela disowned her. We did see her cry in season 3 when Santana came out to her. Still, the choice of words makes me think that Santana felt deceived about family sticking together and loving each other no matter what (something Abuela mentions in this very same episode in the Queso Por Dos segment) because of how quickly things changed when she came out. All it took was a confession and a few seconds for that love to disappear.

It’s possible she viewed what she knew as love before, as fake love, or love that was not unconditional. Santana choosing to use “real love” to describe her relationship with Brittany is Santana saying, “We stick together and love each other unconditionally, unlike you and I or my own blood.”

Santana then says that Brittany is her family. Again, Santana reminds us that she chooses Brittany over anyone. Again, she’s touching on her previous statement that she and Brittany are an example of “real love” or (as Santana believes with all her heart) a family that sticks together and loves each other no matter what. This is a big deal for Santana.

She is coming full circle because, in the early seasons, Brittany didn’t always come first. She often came second or last to status, beards, prom queen, people’s opinions, etc.

Santana, a girl that misses Abuela, the person she wishes would love her again, has reached a point in her life where she loves herself and Brittany so much that she no longer needs her Abuela or her support, love, and approval. Santana knows she has a lot of that already. A lot, a lot.

The next part in this scene is parallel to Abuela and Santana’s previous scene some years prior from season 3 when Santana comes out to her. In season 3, Abuela told Santana to leave her house with no other word after Santana came out. Despite Santana’s pleas, Abuela had had the final say. In this scene, things are different. Instead of faltering and hiding, Santana puts her foot down and stands her ground. She keeps her head high and has the final say (something that I believe Abuela taught her when teaching her how to be bigger and better than what the world was going to give her permission to be), and Abuela had no choice but to walk away without another word.

To finish this scene, Santana leans into Brittany. Brittany comforts her (like I’m sure Brittany did the first time Santana came into Abuela the moment she could (which I believe was as soon as Santana got into her car where Britt was waiting (just in case Abuela wanted to meet her))). Santana knows she can count on Brittany. She is her family now. They stick together and love each other no matter what, even if it means being disappointed when things don’t go as planned.

Had Abuela and Santana never made up, I would have been completely okay with it because this scene shows a lot of growth in Santana.

It makes me feel so proud of Santana. She cared so much about others' approval. She had been so scared of her feelings for Brittany that she let herself be miserable and made others feel that way, too. Santana ended up being bigger and better than the limits she and society places on her. In doing so, she learned to accept and love herself, Brittany, and their family. Proudly so. While she wanted Abuela in her life, she decided to let Abuela go and instead surround herself with her new family, one that had plenty of “true love.” A lot, a lot.

That is freaking beautiful, and I absolutely love it.

(Also, protective Britt is 😍🥰).

-@lylyluvda916

Pre-Wedding Scene- 6x08

Q: Favourite Glee scene ever? A: My wedding! -Naya (Twitter Q&A 2015)

“My favourite scene to film was the wedding with me and Naya. It’s just a beautiful memory that I am so thankful I have during this time. It happened at the same time as I was getting married, and it just felt like a double wedding, if you will, because that was the title of the episode. It just kind of summed up our entire relationship on the show and it felt so real, and so magical, to do that with one of my best friends.”- Heather (Cameo 2015)

After too much thinking, I’ve decided that my favorite Brittana scene is the pre wedding when they’re getting ready and Britt freaks out because Santana sees her before the wedding, thinking it’s a bad luck thing. And then Santana says to her that rules don’t apply to them and that they make their own luck. After that they kiss in the most perfect way. It’s my favorite because by saying that to Brittany, Santana made it clear that no matter what traditions say or people believe, everyone can choose how to be happy.

-@awesome-shipper

My favourite Brittana scene would have to be just the whole wedding episode if i’m being honest aha (i love all the Brittana scenes lol its soo hard to choose haha) because it shows that love is love and that anyone can get married if you love one another doesn’t have to be man and women, it can be women and women or even man and man! Love is love! I love the episode also because they are just soo cute in it lol, like Brittany having all the pre wedding worries and then Santana calming her down, ahhh its just soo cute aha.

-@elmamacca

It’s so ridiculously hard to pick my favourite Brittana scene, when they all mean so much. Each one means something different for them in terms of their story. Though they may lack screen time compared to other couples on the show, their scenes are filled with so many firsts. First time Santana admits her feelings, first time they mention their officially dating, first kiss, first I love you in a relationship when they're both happy...so they’re each special for different reasons. Even the break up has Santana admit for the first time that she had feelings for Brittany way back in Sophomore year (S1). Something that was implied but never verbalised before that point.

It's hard to pin it down to just one. I love 2x15 for the obvious reasons of getting to see Santana admit what was already clear to see. That she loved Brittany. Seeing her finally admit that was just really poignant for me.

Landslide and Songbird hold such special places in my heart. The bravery. The love. Everything. I felt it all.

Heart was the fluff we so sorely craved for 3 seasons, and they finally we got it in the best way, and we got our first on screen kiss (3 times over).

5x12/5x13 had me feeling euphoric because finally after a season of absolute crap they finally got back together. The kiss was amazing, and we got to see Brittany lay it all on the line for Santana and make it clear who her top choice always was deep down.

6x03 was like a treasure trove of pure joy. The softest bed scene ever which I love for, my fav duet from them and ofc the proposal. Seeing Santana so boldly (I felt so proud of her in this moment) declare her love for Brittany in front of everyone (something she once thought she'd never be able to do), and for Brittany to be able to see that after their rocky start of "I'm not making out with you because I'm in love with you and want to sing about making lady babies", was everything! The call backs to Landslide were just ugh, and it really showed how far they had come. Santana’s speech and how nervous she is, plus Britt’s tears and the way she snatches the ring, lives in my head rent free.

6x06 is also like, incredible, and one of my fav ever Brittana episodes. Just the whole damn episode and how domesticated they are, Santana’s bravery, Brittany’s protectiveness, all the soft af dialogue that looks like it’s been plucked straight from a fanfic. The “did I ever tell you that I love you?” “tell me again” scene is one of my all time favourite scenes from them ever, and I can’t with how utterly adorable and playful and in love they are. Essentially, my love for the ship holds no bounds so there are too many “fave scenes” to count. Truthfully, I could write an in-depth analysis about every single one one of their scenes and how it touched me in some way, but I think if I had to pick just one I'd go with 6x08 the pre-wedding scene.

It's their last major "two-shot" scene and I honestly think it captures everything. Not only is it just contextually sweet the way Santana can't wait any longer to see Brittany and the words that she says, and the way Brittany is nervously freaking out, it ties up a lot of their story. Santana says with confidence "you love me, and I love you" after what seems like a lifetime of self-doubt, finally she knows Brittany loves her and no longer has to question that. This is the same girl who begged Brittany to say she loved her back as a scared closeted teenager, and now she's standing in front of her on their wedding day knowing that Brittany loves her without even needing to hear it. But regardless we do get an "I love you so much" from Brittany, unprovoked by Santana, which again is a callback to that heartbreaking 2x15 scene. It was all Santana ever wanted to hear back then, now she gets to hear it so freely on their wedding day. Their wedding day guys!? Nothing can ever top that for me, for them to have that ending to such a imperfectly perfect story, after all the erasure, the angst, the break-up, seeing them with other people, watching Brittany go off to MIT and thinking yep...this ship is done because Heather's never coming back now.

The way Santana manages to calm Brittany and make her see clearly, is everything, and it really shows that yin/yang dynamic that I love so much about them.

Being someone who felt like I was living vicariously through them and seeing them get the ending of all endings and get married which is such a rarity (or certainly was at the time) for WLW ships was EVERYTHING. There's also the kiss (my fav kiss of there's) and the fact that moments later Abuela comes in and finally makes amends with Santana. It was the perfect, happy, full circle ending to a rollercoaster of a story, and nothing will ever get more satisfying than that.

-@chooseyouovereveryone

Full List Of Scenes & YouTube Links

Brittany & Santana Talk To Holly Holliday About Their Feelings

Landslide

Hurt Locker

Songbird

Heart Locker

Officially Dating

Rumour Has It/Someone Like You

The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face

Cherish/Cherish

I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me)

Tongue Tied

Mine

Santana Walks Brittany Out Of The Auditorium One Last Time

Valerie

Churros Kiss

The Lilies Scene

The Bedroom Scene

The Proposal

The Hallway Scene

Brittany Confronts Santana’s Abuela

Pre-Wedding Scene

Top 5 Scenes

Each of them had 3 responses each.

Landslide

Hurt Locker

Songbird

Lilies Scene

Pre-Wedding Scene

Season Breakdown

Season 2, Season 3, Season 6 (5 scenes each)

Season 5 (3 scenes)

Season 4 (1 scene)

Season Popularity By Number Of Responses

Season 2 (12 responses)

Season 3 (9 responses)

Season 6 (8 responses)

Season 5 (6 responses)

Season 4 (1 response)

Thank you all so much for reading, participating, sharing etc. I really hope you’ve enjoyed it!

#brittana #brittany and santana #glee #gleeks #glee brittana #glee brittany #glee santana #santana lopez #brittany s.pierce #brittany pierce #rumours #10yearsofbrittana #10yearsofrumours #brittana fan project #brittany x santana

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